#conversational podcasts

[mycatsaidno]

I’m slowly running out of podcasts to listen to at work. If anyone has a suggestion for a new show or an audiobook, I’m all ears…

Examples of what I already listen to:

Maintenance Phase

There are no girls on the internet

If books could kill

You’re wrong about

The Bechdal cast

Celebrity memoir book club

Articles of interest

5-4

Work life/rethinking

[noonstate]

i need well meaning cis people to stop attemping to steelman trans healthcare conversations because it basically always ends with them just lying about easily checkable things "no minors are getting irreversible treatments" wrong not true "no minors are having surgery" also false, like instead just say the truth: currently some minors (few, but some) are able to access hrt that will have some irreversible changes on their body, some (even fewer) minors are able to access surgery.

the counter to transphobes screaming "these kids are being irreversibly changed" isn't "no children are accessing this care" it's "puberty is also an irreversible change" and "i think under 18s and even under 16s should be able to make medical decisions actually"

"no minors are accessing this care" means that transphobes can easily point to the examples of minors who are accessing that care, which just make us look like liars. sometimes teenagers and children need to make medical choices on their own. i think a 14 y/o should be able to get an abortion. i think trans kids and teens should be able to have the approriate care, which for some will just be like, picking a new name or haircut, and for some, sure, could be surgery.

[shamebats]

I'm listening to an episode of the Cults to Conciousness podcast about gay erasure in Amish & Mennonite communities and one interesting thing one of the guests (a bi woman) brought up is that sometimes conversion therapy doesn't look like overt violence and attempts of sexuality conversion (although it does happen), because especially queer people in the social role of girl/woman in such communities will often simply not have their queerness acknowledged at all. The conversion therapy for this guest was when her father walked behind her and corrected her so she'd walk like a "proper lady", it was corrective rape and it was forced marriage, something she just barely escaped. Sometimes the conversion therapy is covert, like your community pushing you into marriage and having children so you'll be too busy to think about your sexuality, gender, freedom and self-actualization. It's not what we think of when we hear the term conversion therapy, but it's still violent, oppressive and has the same end goal.

One of the things that deeply hurt her was when a sociologist, an outsider, wrote about her community and declared that there were "no gay people" because there were not allowed to be any. It made her feel so unseen and even more like she shouldn't exist.

I can definitely see the parallels between that and how trans people have been treated historically and how trans stories are still often erased.

To believe that there are/were no LGBTQIA+ people in certain communities and time periods is to believe that conversion therapy, in any of its forms, works (which it does not).

[mossiistars]

For the TMA/Malevolent suggestions,

What about a crossover? (Small meeting, some doodles, or something?)

I gave myself a headache trying to write this joke

[rosekasa]

i think what i adore about ladynoir beyond high school age (18 and over) is the opportunity it leaves for some of the most DELICIOUS best friends to lovers scenarios. because, like, two people who've been fighting side by side for years? who've known each other long enough to make jokes about it, haha remember when we were fourteen and you-- we AGREED to never speak of it!!!! who've spent so long learning each other inside out, even, in chat noir's case, getting over feelings, that the idea of anything romantic between them is so far off the radar that they don't feel the need for certain boundaries, because why would it matter if they made jokes about how attractive they find each other, about getting married, about how they could totally mess with the rest of the miracle team by pretending they're hooking up because it's so far out of the realm of possibility.

but then there would be that imperceptible shift. the moment where one of them makes a joke and it feels just a bit more loaded than it should. gazes lingering where they never lingered and playful smiles turning curious. the sudden awareness that, while maybe they were cuddling on a rooftop with their best friend, they were also wrapped up in the arms of someone they trust with their lives, and is extremely attractive, and, wait, if the only reason it was platonic before was because there were no feelings, what does THIS mean?

THE TENSION. THE PINING. THE INHERENT MESS OF BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES. PLEASEEEE

[derangedfujoshi]

"If you suddenly found out that I was something, maybe even worse than a wraith... What would you do?"

"I would've forgiven you."

[arthur-lesters-left-arm]

the witch was such a hater but also…the message she was relaying to john was basically just “dump his ass!!! he’s holding you back babe, you can do so much better <3” and i find that hilarious

[moiras-damage-orb]

I feel that Phineas and Spahr are one of those relationships where you REALLY need to examine it with shipping goggles off. There's so much there that, if distilled solely to a romantic aspect, I think gets lost in translation. There are so many layers to their relationship - the pseudo-parental dimension, the mentor/mentee situation, Phineas' idolatry of Spahr as a moral paragon, Spahr's guilt towards his failings of Phineas, generational trauma, all of THAT and then the devotion and romantic dimension on top of that? To condense it to just the romantic component feels reductive in a way that does it a disservice. Regardless of the lens you choose to view it, these two are - and have been - the most important person in the other's life. And after an extremely high-stress, near-death situation that has them both reevaluating their entire worldview? i don't necessarily find it unrealistic that in this absolute mess of emotions, that attachment gets manifested into a kiss, but I hardly see that as the be-all and end-all. There's so much more. It's complicated and ridiculously messy but that's what I love about it.

[specialagentartemis]

thinking more about trigger warnings and. Bluntly, I think except for a couple specific types of things—like a rape scene in a book, or gunshot noises in an audio drama—content warnings are almost impossible to be useful when they come from somebody who doesn’t know you.

I talk about a really good horror movie I saw to my mom, and she asks, “Would I like it?” and I can say, “there’s one pretty bloody and gross scene, and one scene of a chimpanzee attacking somebody but it’s mostly offscreen, and otherwise, it’s mostly suspense and psychological, I think you’d like it.” That’s a content warning. It’s also only really possible because I know my mom and I know what makes her uncomfortable (gore and excessive violence, mostly). I was reading one of the bleakest, most depressing, most unsettling books I’ve read in my life, and chatting about it with a friend, and I said upfront that it’s bleak and upsetting, and also went into the background of the author a little bit—he wrote it as he was in and out of hospitals, dying of cancer. My friend’s dad was at that point in the hospital with cancer. Because I knew that I wanted to contextualize the book if he was considering reading it. A lot of the time when I’m talking about sci-fi books with another friend who reads a lot more of them and faster than I do, they will often let me know, “It developed a really bad straight romance halfway through,” or “the romance arc wasn’t awful but was annoying,” or “I actually didn’t mind the romance in this one.” These can be thought of as content warnings, telling me that kind of content to expect and brace myself so I don’t get disappointed by another stupid romance subplot in a book a otherwise was looking forward to. “It’s got SO much body horror” can either be a warning or a recommendation, depending on who you’re talking to. We trade our assessments of books, and let each other know what we might like and what we won't like. That's super important—and impossible to impersonalize.

Especially when it’s stuff like “yeah it was uncomfortably sexist” or “the author writes Asian people in a really uncomfortable way” or “there’s just random fatphobia consistently throughout” or “one of the magic things in it relies on the idea that love is what makes you human and people who don’t fall in love are monsters” which the author obviously isn’t going to warn for and is going to hurt some people more than others, and some people probably aren’t even going to notice. You kind of have to know somebody before you can assess what they might need to know going into something.

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

[murderandcoffee]

jfksdaljfklsd noel going "he's not talkin to us" when the butcher is confused by arthur responding to john is so funny

[yogsothott]

Neglected to post this earlier because of life stuff going on, but belatedly here's my piece for the @malevolent-fanzine, inspired by the early episodes of season 4 and the boarding house.

[oliversgarden]

Jarthur are absolutely hilarious, “oh no! We need to go on this mission to be separated!” Turned to “yeah we still need to do this…to get..separated? Yeah…yeah.” And then when they get what they need HANDED TO THEM ON A GOLDEN PLATTER- “you know I can’t do that.” They’re insufferable, I love them.

[jestersloverre]

So, this puts mirrohawk dip in a new perspective huh…

[fictionadventurer]

I think I have accidentally become very protective of the story of Snow White.

[randomfoggytiger]

So, ehat was your take of the podcast of these two old friends? I thought it was lovely and different than his other podcasts. She gets him to relax.

Now, what about the recreation of the picture they said they would do?:) I think they might have talked about the picture but not when the photoshoot would happen. Xmas is around the corner. Come on guys, give the Fandom a merry David-Gillian gift of all time! It's been a dry spell without your loving craziness. Hike up those stockings on your little legs, G, and hop onto those DD shoulders.

It'd be funny if they did, wouldn't it? It'd also be funny if they recreated it in a way that wouldn't hurt either of their backs, shoulders, or knees, too. XDDD

I had an excellent time with the podcast! It confirmed every single one of my suspicions, theories, and guestimations of their friendship: their personalities, their focuses, their dynamic then, their dynamic now, etc. It was refreshing. It was, for lack of a better word, simple: the facts were the facts were the facts, and there wasn't anything big or grand to be made of their interactions, past or present.

I liked hearing them talk over each other. I liked that both admitted to already butting heads in Season 1. I liked that both admitted they'd never thought to trade childhood stories, or cross their personal lives over.

Most of all, I loved their candor: David admitting he felt dumped in the Revival, and that Gillian didn't know and felt sorry in retrospect. That Gillian didn't feel dumped during the first run. That Gillian thought the Revival's story line reduced her character, especially the ending. That David felt trapped and villainized over the pay gap issue; and only later learned his pay wasn't due to his merit so much as internal favoritism. That Gillian now understands and feels for his pain. That David still feels the sting of Vancouver hating him and being forced out of rehab anonymity, and all the pain he gathered from both incidences. That Gillian admitted she doesn't process shame, just stays too busy to have to face it. That David felt comfortable to say that was unhealthy, and that she felt comfortable enough to hum in agreement. That both know their children have to fail, because they would fail their own children if they stopped those failures. That David tried to drill into his son that he's a miserable person and nothing is as it seems; but that that perspective hadn't worked. That Gillian feels motherhood is the most fulfilling thing for her, yet chooses her work over and over (again, staying too busy to feel shame.) That DD knew as early as Season 1 that Chris intended for Mulder and Scully to be an end goal-- asking CC if he wanted to send GA and himself to couples' counseling as their characters. That GA forgot and laughed over the memory. That Gillian arrived late after he offered her a ride on his private aircraft; then wrote him a beautiful letter, on the plane, instead of saying those words in person. That he marveled she hadn't gone insane from the pressure. That she no longer feels the need to run from Scully's legacy. That both admitted that communication, though important, was non-existent during that time in their lives.

There are so many good bits. But I have two takeaways:

They have the same frenetic drive, the same "crazy" as David calls it; but I can see why it drove a wedge between them (and could, now): they wouldn't be able to tolerate that same freneticism in each other in large doses. (Hence, why they didn't speak for weeks while on set, and were already exchanging "blows" in Season 1.)

Most importantly, they were two old friends who purposefully dug in and rediscovered new things about each other. The camaraderie was different: settled, more "in-character" to how I think they talk when David doesn't feel like he has to perform (though there was a bit of that) and Gillian doesn't feel uneasy, or anxious, or "watched."

In short: they felt wholly the same, but in a new way. :DDDDD