#considering they had to just rez everyone all the time

[mikkouille]

I've embarked myself into too much video game story it's all over now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for abandoning my party in the middle of a notoriously tough dungeon?

i (26m) was playing ffxiv and had just unlocked a new dungeon. all my friends were asleep and i was too excited to wait, so i decided to go against my social anxiety and run it with randos.

the scant handful times i'd run dungeons with randos before went great - earlier that day after another dungeon i'd even gotten player commendations from two of the players in a party i was healing for - so i was more or less confident this time would be fine as well.

boy oh boy was i wrong...

i got matched with three players we will simply call tank, healer, and dps (age and gender unknown for all three). i went in as a bard (all my other jobs were too underlevelled), filling the remaining dps role.

things went awry almost as soon as we set foot in that dungeon. i died in the first room to some enemies that aggro'd on me and ganged up on me. the rest of the party left the room pretty much immediately after all enemies were dead.

i politely asked to be resurrected, to which healer reluctantly complied. they told me to "just rez next time", which would've sent me to the beginning of the dungeon. in hindsight that would've prolly been fine since it was only the first room.

after i caught up to the others i once again got swarmed with monsters. this is gonna be a pattern if you couldn't tell. after i'd died to this pattern a couple times tank yelled at me for "constantly pulling everything ffs".

for those who don't know, tanks (at least in this game) have a special ability that basically acts as an aggro magnet. i have a strong suspicion tank wasn't using said ability considering how often i got swarmed, but we'll never know for sure.

now the mid boss was where it truly went to shit. no matter how much of a distance i kept from that damn thing, no matter how well i evaded its aoe attacks, i just kept dying over and over again. one time the rest of the party even got sent back somehow. i'm not sure how.

and why did i keep dying you may ask? because healer never healed me. not once after they resurrected me at the beginning did i notice my hp go up aside from when i used hi-potions or my one (1) healing spell, both of which have a very long cooldown. i think they were glued to tank the entire time, completely neglecting me and dps.

and yet, i was the one taking the blame for everything. for pulling the enemies tank should've pulled. for constantly dying, which i couldn't help because healer never once touched me after that first resurrection.

it was really starting to affect me so after i let my dead body be sent back to the beginning of the dungeon i finally put my foot down and left the dungeon. this disbanded the party, not only kicking everyone from the dungeon, but likely also penalizing all 4 of us because of my actions.

i will clarify that this wasn't just any old dungeon; it was aurum vale. it's a dungeon you need to be at least level 47 for. while i don't know much about it myself, judging by the way my friends talk about it the semi-universal verdict is that it sucks major balls. it' would's not be a fun dungeon to have to redo, that's for sure.

i was on the verge of tears for well over 30 minutes afterwards, both from the emotional afterquakes of fear and anger but also from the guilt of abandoning these people like that.

so, am i the asshole? am i too sensitive? should i just have sucked it up and kept going?

tldr; i felt like my party of randos were blaming me for being the weakest link while doing their own jobs poorly, and decided to prioritize my own feelings by leaving the dungeon, dissolving the party and forcing the others to start all over again

Oh no. Oh honey. I am so sorry Aurum Vale is just like that. I'm gonna put the poll here and some extra INFO/advice under a readmore because it's a bit long, but please read on before voting.

First: don't let leaving bother you too much, it didn't kick everyone from the dungeon, that's not how it works. If one person leaves, the queue just refills the party with a new person and the dungeon continues like normal, or everyone else now has the option to leave without penalty.

Aurum Vale's first room is a motherfucker--basically it's an older design with lots of wandering monsters, so on the first room especially you need to hug the left hand wall as tight as you can to aggro as little as possible. Let the tank go first and grab aggro on mobs. Don't pull for the tank, especially at this level range. Let them do their job. I can't say for sure whether they had their aggro-generating stance on, could go either way, but I can see why they got annoyed at someone pulling stuff they weren't ready for yet. While wall-to-wall pulling is pretty standard in this game, that's the tank's call to make, not the dps's--and some of these older dungeons with funky level syncing or enemy pacing make wall-to-walling more difficult and not for everyone.

(BTW, as an aside, tank stance works as a personal buff, not a magnet--they do still need to hit things to grab their aggro, sometimes more than once if someone else has already established on them. If they already have a pack they're working on and you grab something way on the other side of the room, you'll have to bring it over to them so they can take it off you!)

If you do die to mobs between bosses, sometimes the best thing to do is just release and respawn! If you get a rez, you'll have a debuff that makes you weaker for a while. Definitely if it's the very first room, releasing is the move most of the time.

As for dying to bosses: was it definitely the mid boss, the cyclops? Because the other two (the plant and the morbol) both have mechanics that make you take slow damage over time unless you eat a fruit to get rid of it. You want to eat a fruit every 2-3 stacks of the debuff that you get because that's where the damage starts to get more severe; before then, the healer can probably handle you.

Basically, it seems like this party mistook inexperience for malice and was rude to you in response. Not healing you, for example, is absolutely inexcusable. You did some things suboptimally that made the dungeon harder for the group, but honestly we were all there once, don't let it get to you too much. Try it again with your friends bearing the stuff I mentioned in mind, and it'll go much better! But as an aside it SUCKS to heal, if you have a more experienced friend you should let them handle it haha

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Would things change at all if Jacob and the other rez kids also attended Forks?

Caveat

They didn't and wouldn't.

La Push is far enough away from Forks that it's not the first choice to send kids to (and that's not even getting to reservation vs. not reservation politics). Not to mention that even if they were there, Billy is told beforehand the Cullens are coming and in terror/thinking he can't say no says "ok" and the tribe then prays that the Cullens will respect the treaty. It works out that the Cullens do but ah... Edward considered breaking it very seriously a few times. So glad you didn't do that, Edward.

Regardless, Forks, which is not in the treaty, would then be somewhere they'd absolutely pull everyone out of because the demons go to that school.

Remember they don't go to the Forks hospital anymore because Carlisle Cullen is in the building. People could die because of this decision, perhaps they did in canon, but to them it's not worth the risk of crossing paths with the vampire who could at the drop of a hat decide to eat the entire town of Forks and the entire reservation.

Even Jacob, who doesn't believe the superstitions, has been told them and abides them for the most part (granted he has little reason to seek out the Cullens or go to the hospital, and he does tell Bella things he knows he's not supposed to fairly easily, but we still get the feeling it's extremely ingrained in the res).

You do not fuck with the Cullens, go near them, even look at them.

Would Things Change?

I have to cop out, I'm sorry, this would just never happen.

If they had been in that school, they would leave, and Jacob would instead be telling Bella all about that awkward time where everyone from the rez transferred to a different school because the Cullens moved there.

[robotstrategy]

Recalled • Part 5 • 38 - Lev

Previous • Series Masterlist • Part 5 Masterlist • Next

Lev sits out on the front porch, spreading his arms wide so that Lawu may crawl on them. By now, it seems like Connor has been radio silent for a year. There’s no secret internet stuff dumb enough for him to figure out, no letters from cousin Carl. At this point, Lev would have actually forgotten about Connor if Elina hadn’t been there to ask him if he’d heard anything. 

“Do you think he died?” Lev asks his Kinkajou, Lawu lays himself down, nestling into Lev’s arm.

“I don’t want to think about it either.” 

A gust of wind comes in, it smacks Lev’s earpiece against his cheek, and he winces a little before the pain disappears. Many of the qualities he had to learn on the Rez were humility, forgiveness, and patience. Yet it seems like his patience might be running out soon. Before, he would have stayed here peacefully, spending the rest of his days with Kele and the others. But after a while, it seemed like he would always end up in Connor's net somehow. So why not now? Why won’t something come along and face him back in Connor’s direction? Lev sets the sleeping Lawu back in his little house before heading back inside. Every once in a while Lev opens the door to Wil’s room, wondering if somehow his spirit is still in there. Lev thinks Wil would’ve had something to tell him, maybe even Una, but both of them are gone now. Lev always found it funny that Una went to Molokaï with Cam, he supposes it takes two non-clinical minds to help raise 50 Rewinds.

Lev sits down in his room, beading together an ornate necklace for Elina. Somedays Lev likes to think he was born a Tashi’ne, to imagine himself as a young boy running around the Rez. But that’s not how the story goes, unfortunately, Lev was raised for death and had to escape it. Many times he doesn’t think he did, but here he is, breathing, hearing, sitting, and beading together a necklace. After a while, Lev turns to his alarm clock and plays around with it until he finds the radio button. It always first tunes into Arápache’s own radio station before Lev can start upping or lowering the signal. Today Lev looks for a certain radio station, he starts cranking the knob on the back of the radio. It’s a flutter of static between the radio from the Arápache to the Hopi and any other tribe in the surrounding area. Advertisements about upcoming Powwows, they’re quite fun actually, seeing all the Chancefolk’s interesting regalia as they all dance competitively.

Lev knows he’ll get the right radio station, he’s done it before, Hayden’s radio show somehow can get to almost anyone in the world. Even in dictatorships, it will somehow sneak in.

After a while, he hits a radio station playing ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin.’ By Frank Sinatra, a clear sign he’s tuned the radio correctly.

Lev puts the clock back down, continuing his beading, soon enough the music dies down into Hayden’s radio jingle.

“Good afternoon everyone, welcome back! And if you’re new here, Hi! I’m Hayden! Here we talk about information about unwinding around the world. Today we have big news! I’ve just gotten info that Mexico and Hawaii have vetoed the Unwind Bill, and South America is currently considering if they’ll vote back in the bill, I hope they don’t. Unfortunately, we’re still seeing a big influx of American parents travelling with juveniles to Canada. It seems like until we cut off that hydra head it’ll keep swallowing kids.”

Lev pauses what he’s doing for a moment, people are still travelling to Canada to get their children unwound. Lev wonders if even when Canada vetoes the bill will people even stop? Maybe they’ll just find another place to keep the process going. Seems like all that protesting, all that self-immolation, it does nothing. Even when unwinding is over, people will find ways to get it done. If parents aren’t the ones paying shady people, then there’ll be millions of folktales teaching not to go out at night or a part pirate might steal you away. 

Lev has been mostly drowning in his thoughts until something Hayden says piques his interest.

“So, there’s this kid Connor knew who now lives on a reservation, his name is Lev? I’ve met him once in the graveyard, he’s the clapper who didn’t clap, there you go! That’s a better idea of him! Anyway, if someone can get in contact with him, or if he’s listening right now, I’d like to talk to him. I’ve got good news.” You can hear a smile in Hayden’s voice as the jingle drowns it out back into music.

Is this it? Did somebody finally find Connor? Lev picks up his phone, careful not to put any typos into the search bar. He rapidly goes through Hayden’s website and dials up the phone number. There are a few empty rings before someone picks up.

“Hello, you’ve reached Hayden Upchurch, h-” “DO YOU KNOW WHERE CONNOR IS?”

There’s a giggle on the other end of the line. “You’re Lev aren’t you?”

Lev blushes out of embarrassment, “Yes, this is about Connor right?”

“Yup, tried to keep it vague enough. I’d hoped you’d be more interested in the news than the first person I told.”

“Who was that?”

“I don’t think you’d know him, but he knew Connor, maybe a little too much. They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer!”

Lev cringes. “So do you know where Connor is or are you just going to do this?”

“Not the small talker? I get it. I’ve found Connor in Marseille, France, he goes by Robert Saltries now.”

“Have you been talking to him?”

“No, I’d get charged for that, and by the looks of it Robert is running an unwind safe house, I wouldn’t want to pull any attention towards him.”

“Right, it’s just, that I feel abandoned, like I’m his friend, and I wasn’t told anything about where he was going.”

“I feel that too, I’m as much of Robert’s friend as you are, and I was never told anything either.”

“You hacked into something to find him didn’t you?”

“A school’s system, it felt wrong, really wrong.”

“I guess he hid himself very well.”

“I guess he did.”

Lev pauses, “If anything ever comes up, you’ll tell me about it, won’t you?” 

“Of course!”

“Goodbye, Hayden.”

“Goodbye, Lev.”

And that’s it, that’s all, Lev is no closer to seeing Connor, but at least he knows he’s alive under a different name. Lev gets back to beading the necklace for Elina like nothing ever happened.

[mjparkerwriting]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thanks to @squarebracket-trick for tagging me!

Rules: Answer the questions as yourself or as an OC of your choice. Some people have done both which is cool.

Gently tagging (I'm sorry if you've been tagged in this already): @sarahlizziewrites @distinguishedgentlemanswritings @ryns-ramblings @btranscrolls @harps-for-days @nightlylaments @alnaperera @kckramer @thewardenofwinter @karolinarodrigueswrites @kaiarchives @the-stray-storyteller @maiwritesbooks @inkspellangel @cabaretofwords

Using Seth, one of the main POV characters in my WIP.

Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of. I've never thought to ask and no one has said anything about it.

[Both of my parents' grandmothers had the same name so mine is just a version of that. My middle name is a combination of my parents' mothers' middle names.]

2. When was the last time you cried?

I'm not gonna pretend like I'm some macho man dripping with bravado. I cried in that swamp. Before that, I cried in my bed because...well, for reasons. It happens.

[LMAO just cried like two days ago. It will happen again.]

3. Do you have kids?

I'm literally 20 years old. A child would ruin everything for me.

[I am a 24-year-old teenage girl. One day I'd love to, but today is not that day.]

4. Do you use sarcasm?

No. (Note: That was sarcasm)

[I can't not use sarcasm. It's a problem.]

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their hair. How it's styled. How clean it is. How neat it is. Hair is important in my culture. Mine probably looks like shit now, but usually, I take good care of it.

[Clothes and shoes. I'm big on fashion. I love collecting shoes and trying new styles. I'm always curious about other people's styles.]

6. What's your eye color?

Brown. Dark, dark brown.

[Also dark, dark brown.]

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I love movies. I make movies. I don't think you can compare the two, though. Scary movies are a different form of art that not everyone gets. It's more than just the scare. It's the tropes. The characters. The score. I will say that I don't always like a happy ending, so I guess my answer is scary movies.

[I love scary movies. BUT, I'm a sap and I cry at almost everything, so a good happy ending is always nice, too.]

8. Any special talents?

Can it truly be considered special, if I'm good at everything I do?

[I don't know. I like to bake cookies lol. Not to be that person, but I don't know if I have a special talent. I've done a lot of different things, so maybe just a Jack of All (a few) Trades.]

9. Where were you born?

Oklahoma. In a hospital close to the rez.

[I'm from the US.]

10. What are your hobbies?

Watching movies. Making movies. Reading.

[Besides reading and writing, I like collecting things and watching movies and TV. I don't know if this is a hobby, but I like trying new foods.]

11. Have you any pets?

I mean, there's the rez dogs. That's about it.

[I have a cat <3]

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played basketball in high school.

[I played basketball for about 4-5 years. I used to fence and I was in marching band (it's a sport. don't start).]

13. How tall are you?

Are you trying to be funny? Haha, we get it. I'm not tall.

[5'6, but I wish I was just a few inches taller. Just 2 inches would be nice.]

14. Favorite subject in school?

Debate, of course. After that, probably Psychology.

[English. Creative Writing. History.]

15. Dream job?

Movie director and/or producer would be a dream, but we have to be realistic here. I'm getting a degree in PoliSci so I can have a real job that'll pay real bills.

[I've wanted to be a teacher since I was like 16 and I'm doing that now, but of course, a writer. I think I can do both, so I'm kinda living the dream?]

[askmerriauthor]

Pokemon Violet - Initial Thoughts

Just started playing Pokemon Violet; I was always planning on picking it up in the first place despite not pre-ordering. All the talk of its apparently glitchy nature was disheartening, but I wanted to give it a fair shake all the same. A lot of the time such reports get overblown, after all. I've seen people shriek about a game being unplayable if it drops from 60 frames per second to 59 in a heavy load zone, after all.

That said? After going in with simultaneously low expectations and a giving it a lot of slack?

I'd consider what I've seen so far to be a genuinely impressive feat for an amateur game dev's tech demo. But for a full release? Let alone from a major studio with as much weight behind it as the Pokemon franchise carries? This game is embarrassingly bad.

Literally the very first second of game play and there's a major graphical glitch. The game opens showing off the fancy academy your character will be attending, but it loads in a low-rez stand-in model that snaps into the high-rez version full on screen. During the opening cut scene, characters blink into T-Poses as they load in and out.

As I walked my character out of their bedroom at the very beginning of actual controllable gameplay, the camera glitched and got stuck inside a wall, resulting in a total black-out screen that made me think my system had crashed. The colors of your character's hair, skin, and make-up don't match between the menu screen where you select them and how they're displayed in the overworld's lighting. Said lighting also flickers around or changes entirely full on-screen with no transitions, jolting from one lighting set to another before the scene it's required for actually loads in. Textures out in the world - signs, terrain, the environment in general - are pixelated and blurry to the point of being distorted blobs. The frame rate is absolutely appalling, dropping and lagging down wildly for seemingly no reason, sometimes going as low as less than 10 frames per second. As I have my character walking around in their homeroom, the seated classmates and the books on their desk flicker rapidly into the floor and back up again. NPCs blink in and out of existence where they stand, or walk in jerky 3 frames per second flip book animations. Even as my own Player model is moving smoothly and without any visual issues in the same rendered scene. I'm honestly not even sure how the code could even make that happen; it'd be one thing if everyone in the room was moving in the same jarring, jerky way, but two or three characters are moving normally while the rest are jittering around.

When you go into shops to try on various clothing items, it takes about 10 seconds for your character model to load in and several more seconds to switch between clothing item previews. Even if the only difference is just a color swap. Keep in mind that this was instantaneous in previous games, including games back on the 3DS. If your hair style isn't compatible with hats, your character model just won't show up at all and you can't preview the item whatsoever. As you leave the shop, the character model is loaded in off the ground and jitter-pops into existence with a short drop.

Out in the overworld, different models load in at different distances from the Player and animate at different frame rates. For example, as I walk down the road just outside my house, NPCs load in (a low-poly stand-in version first that snaps into a higher-rez version with no smooth transition) after bushes do, but before trees (which also have the same jerky low-poly to high-poly snap transition). As I walk around, the game chugs down to a crawl at random, often requiring me to reset it entirely. I speak to a NPC out in the field and my game freezes, only to not freeze a second time after I restart the game and talk to them again. When you call out your partner Pokemon into the field to act solo (a core selling point of this game), there's no summoning animation or effects; they just abruptly pop into existence, which is doubly weird because there is both an animation and effect for when they return to their Pokeball or if you call them over from a distance. When I get into battles and there's a third character on the sidelines, the game camera gets stuck on them as it swings to and fro, resulting in the view spiraling wildly out of control for a few seconds. The camera glitches into the terrain seemingly at random or gets caught at weird angles, resulting in constant screen-blocking closeups of my Pokemon's back, or ignoring Player inputs to try and move the camera around.

This game is atrociously bad. I mean, holy shit, the problems it has are basic, fundamental flaws that NEVER should have made it past quality control in the first place. Things that are just basics in regards to coding and design. Especially when considering that earlier Pokemon titles on the Switch hardware (Sword/Shield and Pokemon Arceus) ran just fine by comparison. Previous generations on the 3DS are more stable and better performing than this.

And this is just the basic mechanics in the immediate starting area of the game. I haven't even gotten into design part of the game play experience. That's a whole other kettle of fish and its own post.

[of-snakes-and-men]

@fireteam-silent from here

Some injuries couldn't be healed quickly by the Light. A Guardian had two options at that point.

If time was of the essence or the wound slowly fatal, they could kill themself to allow their Ghost to Rez them in a fresh, healed state.

Or, if they could, they could heal the old fashioned way. Slowly over time. If out in the field, one could hope that someone would come across them to patch them up.

Something about killer herself never sat right with Khalom. It was frightening, in a way, and she only did it for the most extreme circumstances. Most of the time, she would opt for choice number two if she didn't need to be back in tip top shape in the next three seconds. Maybe Notts would patch her up, or a passing Guardian would find her slumped against the wall, holding her guts in.

The problem was, not everyone who could come across her had the best of intentions.

"MotherFUCKER!" Khalom swore and bit down on her lip as Shin wriggled his fingers across a deep slash on her back. It had been dealt by an Eliksni Arc staff, giving her the distinct cut of a sharp knife and the smell of electrified skin. "This is exactly why I s-said I didn't want your help...!" Dazed, cut up, and maybe a little delirious from blood loss, Khalom couldn't keep his hands at bay. Her paler-than-usual face had a green sheen to it from the glow of the Hive rune pin on her cloak.

Shin never expected to run into Khalom in such a state so soon. But happily, he stalked after her till she reached a safe spot. He would help... in time.

The scream of pain brought a wide grin to his face, just as the blood that covered his fingers. The pin kept the other safe, but nothing could hold him back from licking it off, one finger at a time.

Crouched over the Awoken, he took his sweet time.

“But you have it, so stop whining. Consider it bonding time.” Shin snickered, his laughter throwing him off balance. To not plant his face into Khalom’s back, he put his palm straight at the wound with all his weight.

[1237tnb]

BELLA AND JACOB'S BULLSHIT RELATIONSHIP.

Forgive me for anything, I spell wrong.

I don't consider myself to be a woke person. I usually give people the grace of being people, making mistakes, learning and growing from them.

However, since it's a few months from 2022, I do want to discuss how depressing Eurocentric, oppressive and painfully cliche Twiligut was. Specifically, Bella and Jacob's relationship.

I, for, one was never team Jacob. I was team Edward all day everyday. By the end of the second book of Breaking Dawn, Jacob was my new favorite character and I was a hard-core Blackwater shipper.

So, let's breakdown Bella and Jacob's relationship. It began as a toxic friendship in New Moon in which one friend, Jacob was hard-core simping for his friend Bella who was not simpibg for him. It's not an ideal friendship, but it is a part of growing up and learning about love, so no biggie.

Bella and Jacob's relationship becomes offensively oppressive and one sided in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn once Jacob imprints on Renesmee.

Bella was always a selfish character. She was selfish for wanting to have her cake and eat it to. She was selfish for wanting to keep Jacob around, because he was always there for her, while knowing that she was always going to choose Edward. If she was a good friend, she would have put her own feelings aside and cut Jacob off for good.

So, how does Stephanie Meyers write around this? She has Jacob imprint on Renesmee. She has Jacob imprint on the very type of dangerous creature that his pack was sworn to protect the Quilite people from.

And it's not as though Renesmee herself is dangerous, she is not. It's that both her existence and the Cullen's close proximity to La Push places these Native American tribes on the Rez in the way of constant danger.

However, according to Alice's vision in the 5th movie, Jacob is so blindly in love (pedophilia and grooming) with and enslaved to this hybrid infant that he, a Native American man, would allow his entire village, tribe, pack, and family to be destroyed to save one little white baby.

Now, do not get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with saving Caucasian people in ordinary circumstances. The issue was that Jacob was expected to give up everything ans betray everyone for the safety of one infant simply because his white female best friend asked him to, even though she would never give him the same consideration.

In Alice's vision, when Jacob's pack who so loyally followed him is being slaughtered, Leah cries out for help from her alpha after Seth is killed and Jacob who doesn't fight at all, keeps running with Renesmee in hand. He doesn't turn around to help Leah and protect the village from the Voltaire. He just leaves.

Meanwhile, all of his fellow pack members who are there and Sam's pack members are present and fighting truly to awe there families and ancestral homes.

In the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, Jacob was essentially reduced to the benevolent slave. His will power is completely removed so that he can be in service to the main character, and he, a POC, is reduced to nothing more than a large guard dog that comes when called. Even the Voltaire picked up on this and were astute in their observation.

The observation that the wolf pack was merely a tool that would gain nothing from fighting ans potentially loose everything. However, the wolf packs themselves were disposable for the sake of saving Renesmee.

So, who is to blame for this? Not Edward, not the Cullens, not Jacob, nor Sam, and not Renesmee.

The only people to blame for this are Stephanie Meyers for writing a story in which she boiled down an entire group of people's existence to nothing more than a utilitarian use.

And Bella Swan. Bella Swan may be a good wife to Edward, but she was always a shitty friend to Jacob. She was a bad friend to Jacob long before he even turned into a wolf. She weaponized his love for her time and time again to get her way at Jacob's expense. Then, she had the audacity to ask Jaocb to betray his entire family for her best interest.

Stephanie Meyer's essentially castrated and chained the most powerful wolf of the Quilite people by withholding and weaponizing sex. Though, she did it in a more censored way. This was not an uncommon way European settlers once colonized and enslaved. In the islands. Overseers used to choose the largest, most powerful slave who the other slaves respected and listened to the most. They would then tie him to a post and rape him violently in front of all of his people, in order to emasculat him and gain control of the whole group.

Now, you might say that Breaking Dawn is different, but let's play Breaking Dawn out a few years.

The Cullens move back to Alaska. Jacob can't be without Renesmee so he has no choice but to go with them. However, he can't stand the smell of the vampires, so instead of living inside the Cullens' Manor with dignity, he has to sleep outside like a dog or in some shed far off in the woods.

All, the while, he has no choice but to forfeit his own responsibilities of protecting his people, so that he can instead forever protect the Cullens, never being allowed to grow old and die.

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - ten

you matter to me

Warnings: Drinking/drug use, Arguing, implying sexua! assau!t/tendencies

Authors Note: I have not added a tags list due to the trigger warnings, it will be back in the next update.

there are two types of tired i suppose

the one in need of dire sleep;

the other is a dire need of peace

Tallulah tried her best to fly under her family's radar leading up to Friday and she had her plan all set for her to go out to Port Angeles and still be home in time for her curfew. She had spending whatever time she wasn’t in school with Paul, helping him with little things around Uley's Bookstore, whether that be painting structures or filling shelves with books, Tallulah made sure on Thursday to tell him she would be hanging out with August and Rory on Friday so that if her dad asked him where she was he would be unknowingly involved in her lie.

After school on Friday, Tallulah quickly changed out of her school clothes into a striped, oversized crew neck and navy blue tennis skirt. Throwing her hair into a slicked back ponytail before rushing down the stairs, telling her dad she was off to see her friends, which wasn’t a lie, she just didn’t specify which ones.

Tallulah was practically shaking with excitement as she pulled out of her driveway, whether it be because she was excited to see her friends for the first time in 2 weeks or because she knew she wasn’t supposed to be seeing them, she was unsure of.

The drive to Port Angeles, Tally spent feeling unnerved. All the confidence had left her mind as she exited Forks. Something felt wrong. It’s not like she’s never snuck out and lied about her whereabouts before, the feeling felt different from the adrenaline that usually accompanied her. Out of the corner of her high she could see her phone light up, the incessant dinging of incoming text messages. She ignored them, telling herself it's because she knew better than to text and drive but mostly because she wasn’t prepared to read them. Had her plan already been ruined? Her phone ringing shook her from her thoughts, she grabbed it and checked the caller ID: Paul Lahote, its bright white letters. She wanted to let it ring, to just ignore him, but she couldn’t. Answering the phone and putting on her speakerphone, setting it on the passenger seat, she said as calmly as possible, “Hey, whats up?”, only to be met with an anger, “Where are you?”.

Tallulah was caught off guard by his tone of voice, she would have never expected it from him in the slightest.

“I’m just driving to August’s” she lied, she could hear someone telling Paul to calm down on the other end, with an angry laugh, he asked, “Oh yeah? Since when does she live off the rez?” before she could even respond, he continued, “Where are you really?”

“Why does it matter to you where I am?” she bit back, “Why does it matter?” he repeated her question, “Because you matter to me, Tallulah!” he all but yelled into the phone before the sound of the phone being dropped rang out into her silent car. She could hear the background commotion, but nothing was coherent to her as she was still trying to process what he had said.

“Tallulah?” a feminine voice rang through, “It’s Emily. Where are you, sweetie?” she asked calmly despite the audible commotion that had just occurred on her end of the phone. She wanted to lie again. It’s what she really wanted, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Port Angeles,” Tallulah said quickly before reaching over and hitting the end call before Emily could ask any more questions knowing she wouldn’t be able to lie anymore.

Pulling into the parking lot of the club they were all meeting at, she could see her friends standing next to Xanders sleek black car that he had been gifted on his 16th birthday. She thought she would feel more excitement when seeing Lina, Kit and Xander for the first time in weeks but all she could feel was the ache in her chest, or maybe it was regret. Parking her car, Tallulah quickly got out, grabbing her bag and shoving her phone in it, the onslaught of text messages she had received remaining unread.

She could hear Linas squeals of excitement before both her feet had touched the ground and two pairs of arms wrapped her up in a group hug, “I’ve missed you guys so much” she said as Kit and Lina let her free, big grins on all three girls faces.

“What about me?” a deep voice teased, she looked over to see Xander leaning against his car, smirking at her.

“Of course I missed you, just not as much as them.” she joked, making her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug before kissing his cheek as she let him go. “You’re a lot harder to replace than I thought you would be.”Tallulah said, earning her a scoff from him, “You would never want to replace me.” Xander spoke in all seriousness, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Everything was just like she left it, and she loved that. The group of friends got into the building no problem, the perks of looking older than you are, Tallulah thought to herself.

Lina and Kit went to get drinks for everyone while Xander and Tallulah found an empty booth, his arm never leaving her shoulders. They sat beside each other in the booth and she looked up towards him as he said, “I have something for you.”

She furrowed her brows, she could barely remember the last time he had given her something that wasn’t a holiday or a birthday, “You did?” she asked to which he nodded his head, digging into his jeans pocket, he pulled out a slick, thin grey rectangle. “Li said you dad tossed yours. Hide it better this time, yeah.” tallulah nodded her head in agreement before taking it from his hand, but if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t feel the need to have one anymore. She had no cravings for it, and no stressors that made her even want to use it, it would just end up collecting dust somewhere in her room until she could find an excuse to use it.

“I missed you too, y’know.” he said with a toothy grin, “Nothings been the same without you.” Tallulah smiled at that,glad to know her friends weren’t doing better than she was with the sudden change.

Lina and Kit found their table, four drinks with them, placing one in front of Xander and one in front of Tallulah, “In celebration of the crew being back together,”Lina said with a big smile on her face. Tallulah knew she shouldn’t drink considering she was driving but sipping the crisp alcohol would at least keep her friends off her case, so that's what she did for the next thirty minutes as they all caught up.

Before she knew it, Kit was pulling out onto the dance floor to dance with her and anyone else they could find. The music was loud and the adrenaline was pumping. She felt hands on her waist as someone came up behind her, her hips swaying with the music, she turned her body towards the person holding her firmly, turning to see Xander, she smiled brightly wrapping her arms around his neck, he bent his head down and said in to her ear, over the loud music, “You should come back with us tonight, you can crash at my place.”

Tallulah shook her head, “My dad would literally kill me, Xan.” he laughed nonchalantly, and she became very aware of how close their bodies were, “It’ll be fine, Luie, live a little. I really want you to.” he wanted her to, she thought to herself, looking up at him. He never tells her what he wants, he just does it. “I can't,” she said while standing on her tippy toes to say it into his ear, before she could flatten her feet he had turned his head and pressed his lips to hers, in a rushed, sloppy kiss. Much like the ones they had shared many times before. He pulled away first, “Xan, that's not gonna change my mind.”

He pouted like a little kid about to throw a tantrum, “But I’ve missed you so much and we don’t even know when we will be able to see each other again” he rationed to her, and Tallulah just shook her head, it’s not that she didn’t want to, it's just that this is how they always were together. One minute all over each other they next not speaking, “I haven’t even heard from you in the past two weeks besides that one phone call”

Xander rolled his eyes at her statement, “I can’t spend every waking moment talking to you, Luie, just relax,” he said. Before she could even respond his lips were on hers again, but all she could think about was how cold he felt. Not abnormally cold, just cold. It was uncomfortable.

Pulling back, she said, “We should go find the others,” to which Xander shook his head, “Come on, I haven’t seen you for weeks,” his hands were firm on her arms holding her in place as he leaned in again. Turning her head, his lips connected with her cheek. Now he was pulling back, taking a deep breath, trying not to lose his cool with her, “Really, Luie, you’re doing this again?”

“Doing what again? Is it such a crime that I don’t want to makeout with you in some dinghy club?” she asked him, annoyance laced in her tone. He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling in front of his face, “You always do this!” he exclaimed, “You can’t just act the way you have been all night, and then turn around and say never mind.”

Tallulah looked at him like he was out of his mind, “Yes, I can, Xan. And I am.” she said, standing her ground with him. “But Luie,” That fucking nickname, she thought to herself, “We don’t know when the next time we will see eachother is,” He used the same excuse as before. His hand was now on her lower back, holding her flush against him, “Stop, Xan.'' She tried to push him away, but with the awkward angle of her arms she found it hard. “You’ve always liked this, Luie,”he whispered in her ear, his lips brushed up against it as he spoke, “Get off!” she shoved at him, and before she knew it, he was being yanked away from her. Taking a few steps back to steady herself, she didn’t recognize the boy who had pulled Xander and as he took a step towards her, asking her if she was okay, she took a step back. Blood was pounding in her ears, lookin at Xanders retreating figure, no doubt going to find Lina.

A hand rested on her shoulder, the comforting warmth of it gave away who it was before she had even turned to look at him. Paul. Once she had turned to him she wrapped her arms around his waist, wanting nothing more than to feel the safety of the heat emitting off him. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.” She spoke quickly, and shakily. His arms encircled her, one on her back, the other in her hair, holding her head to his chest, holding her to him, “It’s okay. You’re okay.” he murmured to her softly.

“Embry, you take my car. I’ll drive her home.” Tallulah heard Paul saying, not lifting her head away from his chest. Embry. That must’ve been the boy's name who had pulled Xander away from her. She twisted her head and gave him a grateful smile as Paul gave him his keys before looking up at Paul, who was looking down at her. She could see the worry lines near his eyes and wanted nothing more than to smooth them out with the pads of her fingers. “Alright, let’s go.” his tone was serious, and she knew he was mad at her but trying really hard not to let it show given the circumstances.

“I need to tell my friends.” she spoke to him as if she was walking on thin ice, which she was.

“That guy-” Tallulah cut him off before he could finish what he was saying, “Not him, Lina and Kit..” she reassured as she let go of him, but he held onto her hand tightly, not wanting her to get lost in the sea of people.

It wasn’t hard to find Lina, who was subsequently also looking for Tallulah, “Hey! What happened with Xan, he stormed…” Lina trailed off, one look at Tallulah's face and she didn't need to put into words what had happened. She has seen this look on her best friend before. Like she’s just woken up from a terrible nightmare.“I’m going to head home, Li.” Tally spoke softly, she watched as Lina looked Paul up and down, trying to decide if Tal should go with him, “He’s cool, I promise.” she said while letting go of Paul's hand to wrap her best friend in a hug, “Call me when you get back to Seattle.” she said, before allowing Paul to lead her out of the dark club. She held onto his hand tightly, only letting go once they had reached her car, handing him the keys they both got in silently.

Tallulah only spoke up once they had left the parking lot and were heading towards the highway back to LaPush, “How did you know where to find me?” she asked softly, pulling her sleeves down over the palms of her hands.

“It’s a long story,” he said stoically. Tally furrowed her brows at his response, not satisfied with it at all, “We’ve got time.” she said looking at him, watching his face as he focused on the road.

“Well for one, there's only a few clubs in Port Angeles that allow minors to waltz through their doors.” he said angrily, but it didn’t feel like it was directed at her. “Please, don’t do this again, Tal.” he said looking directly at her, causing her to look away.

“I just wanted to see my friends.” she mumbled, looking down at her lap.

“You could’ve gotten hurt and no one would’ve known where you were because you told everyone you were somewhere that you weren’t.”he said, she could tell he was trying to keep his volume in check. To not yell at her like he had earlier in the evening.

“I was fine..” she pressed, which in her head, she was fine.

“Fine? You were fine?” he laughed. He really laughed, “That kid could've hurt you if Embry hadn’t gotten to you.”

Tallulah shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, only children cry and she was not a child. “Xander wouldn’t have. I would’ve handled it, I always handle it.” she stressed, chewing the inside of her cheek as if it would keep her tears at bay.

It was obvious Paul was out of his depth here, so he let go of the steering wheel with his right hand, placing it in her lap. Letting her make the decision if she wanted to hold it or not, and she did. He had two small hands on either side of his large one, fingers clasped between. “You matter to me too, you know.” she said quietly, his voice from earlier in the evening replaying over in her head as it did all night long. He squeezed her hand as a response, letting the soft music from the radio takeover the silence between them.

[tempestaslokni]

Stunned, Lokni looked at her for a moment, "I mean that you reeled in that fish in the blink of an eye. Even talented anglers take time to reel in their catch. How did you do that?" Had she not noticed? How couldn't she? Lokni must have looked as if he was going through the seven stages of grief during Akhila's explanation of "circadian rhythms;" shock and denial, all of that jazz. Just when he thought that it was gonna' go right over his head, she simplified it in a much more easily understandable way. His answer was a simple nod as he watched Akhila's fingers hook the bait minnow as he had instructed. It wasn't perfect, but he was no perfectionist, "that's great work there," he remarked, a broad grin overtaking his features. She was quick-witted, a truly fast learner. He envied that to a degree. "Did you not study?" echoed in his mind for a brief moment. He hadn't studied after high school. Surely, the public school systems that were available to the rez kids weren't all that great, considering how poorly their infrastructure was. Swallowing the bite in his own tone he replied, "I didn't go to college, if that's what you're asking. I entered the workforce at fifteen. Not all of us get the luxury of a proper education. Reservations are usually in pretty remote areas. It took fifty minutes by bus for me to get to school." He hadn't meant for it to come off gruffly, but then again, it wasn't easy for him to come to terms with what he had become in life. Maybe if he had studied more, then he and his mother could have had a better life. Maybe had somethin' more than just scraping for dimes just to get by. Maybe he wouldn't have become such a disappointment to himself and others around him. If it weren't for Akhila's genuine curiosity in what he had to say, he may have fallen silent. He closed his eyes, taking a deep, measured breath before beginning. "If I weren't here today," he began slowly, "I'd wake up at about half-past four a.m., roll out of bed, stub my little toe on the same damn bedpost, and try to get something in my stomach. If I had the time, I'd cook eggs and bacon, something to keep my energy up. By five a.m. I'm dressed and out the door, heading to the stables where I groom and tack up my horse while she feeds. By about five thirty I'm meeting up with the other wranglers that I'm working with for the day with my horse. We take care of any immediate things that need to be tended to. Foaling or calving, feeding and watering, checking on the sick animals, and whatnot. Then, we'd move on to the daily maintenance, mucking out stables, digging fence posts, unloading hay trailers, and repairing fencing. By the end of the day, if a roundup was necessary, it would happen. Damn things could take the whole day in the saddle to finish, but our boss wanted to cut costs. After that, I'd get home, kick off my boots n' fall into bed after a quick shower, although sometimes I'd just hose myself off at the washing rack with my horse. Rinse and repeat." He licked his lips a moment, tasting the salt that the wind carried. "What does a day look like for you?" he decided to volley the question back to her. After all, he was curious about what she did in more detail. Lokni couldn't deny that he was interested in learning more about her and what made her tick. After all, everyone wanted something in life.

“What ever do you mean?” Akhila asked, bewildered why he was looking at her as if she’d summoned some cryptid monster from the ocean, and not just an ugly little fish. Though on closer inspection Akhila could appreciate the gauzy quality of the fish’s markings, underscored by defined stripes. It looked fairly normal to her. Didn’t have three eyes. No amphibious legs, feet and toes. Nor was it trying to communicate it’s dying wish to them. No need for concern, but as she returned her gaze to him. He was still staring agape. Nevermind that he hadn’t even appreciated her jest.

Akhila exhaled through her nose, she angled the rod so Lokni could unhook the fish with ease. She felt a certain degree of satisfaction, perhaps there was an allure to fishing after all. Akhila had always thought it looked rather dull. A lot of sitting around doing nothing, what was one to do in those moments? Akhila had never been able to wrap her head around the notion of nothingness. On the other side of the same coin, she’d always loathed the holidays Hannah had loved, laying around on sandy shores doing very little. What was the point?

Fishing, perhaps she could manage that. What a peculiar turn of events this was.

It didn’t change the fact that Lokni looked like lightning had struck between them. Sharpness pulled over his features that Akhila hadn’t born witness to before. Akhila choose the frank linear path. “Also, circadian rhythms are also known as circadian clocks l believe located in the suprachiasmatic nucleus.” Akhila’s brows pinched slightly, and she hastened to add. “In the hypothalamus. Your brain. Anyway, it determines our sleep-wake rhythm in harmony with natural, or artificial, light.” Akhila felt as though she was getting the hang of fishing, so she attempted to recreate Loki’s deft bait addition. She hooked it in, but nowhere near as deftly as he had. 

Rather than dwell on her inability to bait a hook efficiently, Akhila sent the line back below the waves with a flick of her wrist. “It’s your biological clock. Did you not study?” Akhila inquired with a genuine curiosity. The cresting realisation she did not know much at all about what it took to be a ranch hand. Then the infuriating roadblock that she couldn’t even squirrel herself away to find out without asking him. The total lack of signal was a tiresome affair. She hadn’t even been able to call the hospitals to let her bosses know she seemingly was marooned, and wouldn’t be making it to work on Monday. 

Usually, Akhila refrained from the mundane but whilst usually swirling around the drain for the dregs of dull conversation. She was interested to hear what he had to say, and it the only road to understanding. “What would you be doing today, if you weren’t here?”

[lis-likes-fics]

A Witch's Love | Chapter 2

Y/N watched alongside Alice painfully as Bella tried to walk in her heels. She'd told Alice that Bella wouldn't do so well in a battle against the shoes, but Alice insisted - and when Alice insist, you can't resist.

Bella looked down at her feet and stumbled a little, losing her balance in the heels. "You just have to break them in," Alice reassured.

"I've been breaking them in. For three days. Can I just go barefoot?" Bella asked.

Alice looked offended by that, "No, absolutely not."

Y/N turned to her, "Come on, Alice."

"Absolutely not," she repeated, "I did good for your wedding, didn't I?"

She turned to Bella, "See, she got me there."

Bella sighed, "Just thinking it's a little much, you know? The dress and the shoes, and all of this." She gestured over to where Carlisle and Jasper were carrying benches for the wedding.

Alice shook her head, "No, it's exactly enough. Tomorrow will be perfect."

Emmett came over with a long tree trunk, "Where do you want them, boss?"

"On the other side of the aisle," Alice told them, chiper in her tone.

Rosalie came up with a fat tree stump, "What aisle?"

"Does no one have vision?" Alice asked, walking over, annoyed with her helpers. Bella took off her heels, putting on her normal shoes.

Y/N smiled at her, "She may be a little much, but she knows what she's doing. The wedding will be great."

Bella nodded and sighed, "I know, it's just... What as it like...when you and Jasper married?"

She thought for a moment, looking over at where Alice was lecturing everyone about where everything went. He looked back at her, smiling and turning back to Alice.

Y/N smiled to herself and sighed, "If you're worried things will change, it will. For the better, though. It will seem like no thing's changed though. So don't worry about it, everything will turn out."

Bella nodded, she seemed to understand what she was saying - for the most part. Witches could be hard to understand sometimes.

Bella looked up, seeing Edward standing in the window, watching his family getting everything ready for tomorrow. Alice stepped forward, standing in front of Bella, "You. Go home and get lots of beauty sleep. That's an order."

Bella nodded, "Okay."

She walked away and Alice picked up the shoes, smiling as she walked away. Without turning, she spoke, "That's sweet."

"What?" Y/N asked, lifting a brow.

Alice shrugged, "What you said to Bella. About being married."

She nodded, "I do my best."

"I keep waiting for Cole to ask cause I've seen that he's been considering, but his mind always changes before it comes up," Alice said.

Y/N suggested, "Maybe it's because he knows you're looking into it. It's not 'popping the question' for nothing. Don't wait up on him to ask, do it yourself if you have to. Just, not too soon. Don't want to scare him or steal Bella and Edward's spotlight."

Alice chuckled, "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Y/N."

"No problem," she responded, turning to walk away. Jasper set down a bench and headed over to Y/N. "How was time with Alice?"

Y/N laughed lightly at his joke, "Interesting."

"I can hear you!"

"Love you, Alice!" They both exclaimed to ward her off. She smirked at them and smiled when Cole came over to her.

"Where's Althea? Y/N asked, looking around for her daughter. Jasper chuckled lightly, "Bossing around the animals inside."

Y/N laughed, "A little Alice, I suppose."

"I heard that, too!" Alice yelled again.

"Go somewhere else!" Y/N told her. The others laughed at them. "I'm going to grab Althea and then sentence the others to dress rehearsals. I'll see you back at the Rez."

"Residence or reservation?" He questioned. They had started calling the Witch Residence "the Rez" for short, just like the wolves called the reservation. So things got a little confusing.

"Take your pick," she smiled.

Jaaper chuckled, "Okay. And bachelor party's tonight, I hope you've got the kids."

"I can handle the kids in my sleep," she laughed, "And this bachelor party, will there be strippers?"

Jasper laughed, "No, just some mountain lions, a few bears."

"Oh, I've got some competition then. I'm getting jealous," she joked, "I'll see you later." He kissed her and she walked away to get Althea.

~

"Althea, where are you hiding?" Y/N called out. She was playing Hide and Seek with everyone- with the exception of Levi, who was at the bachelor party.

Althea was hiding while everyone went to find her. They found that she was strangely good at hiding.

Eileen passed Y/N, "You find her yet?"

She shook her head with a chuckle, "No, but I think I know where she's hiding. I can't hear anything."

"Where are the kits? I can't find them," Freya mumbled as she searched the house for Noel, Paige, and Bex.

Y/N smiled and snapped her fingers, a purple glow surrounding her hand. She balled her fists and pulled them apart, a dimensional pocket opening in front of her.

She always liked opening it because of its uniqueness. It was like it had no color and every color imaginable. It was hard to explain but fascinating to see.

She thrust both hands in the pocket and pulled out Althea, "Why do you keep going in there?"

"It's fun," she giggled. There were little hips from in the void, "Hey!"

"We're in here, too!"

"Take us out!"

Freya grumbled, "Bex, Paige, Noel! What are you doing in there?" She jumped in, disappearing in the pocket before jumping back out with her kids in her grasp.

They giggled and ran as soon as their feet were on the ground. "Get back here!" She called, chasing after the kits.

Y/N shook her head and closed the pocket with a snap of her fingers. "You gotta stop hiding in there or you'll get lost," Mariah smiled at her, tapping her nose.

Y/N set her on the floor and Althea shrugged again, "Can we play again?"

Y/N looked at the time and shook her head, "No, you gotta get to bed. It's a big day tomorrow."

She pouted, "Aw, do I have to so soon?"

She nodded and bent down to her level, "'Fraid so. How can you be the flower girl of you're sleeping?"

She sighed and put her hands on her hips, "Okay." She held her arms out for her and Y/N picked her up again, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Mariah and Eileen kissed her on the forehead. Celene came running in from the other room, struggling to get in the room because Cooper was sulking again, his arms wrapped around her leg as she dragged behind her.

"Can you tell this dufus to stop being such a baby?" Freya grumbled, biting his ear to try and get him off of her, but he wouldn't budge.

"Cooper, let me go. If this is how you act when she's gone for an hour, I can't imagine what it will be like the first time she has to actually leave you home and go somewhere herself," Celene said, turning to grip her leg and pull it from his grasp.

He looked up at her then, his jaw dropping slightly, "That will happen?!"

She grumbled, "Damn familiars are so possessive."

Althea giggled, "She said a bad word!"

Celene playfully covered her mouth and continued to drag a now whining bear. He was pitiful when Charlie wasn't around.

Celene kissed Althea's cheek, "Night, little witch."

She giggled, "Nighty."

Y/N smiled and bent down to Cooper, patting his head, "You'll be fine. Charlie's coming back in a few minutes. She was only out because Alice needed her for a moment. You need to bear up."

He whined, "But we used to do everything together! Then she got older because of the imprinting and started hanging out with Seth more than me."

Y/N shook her head, "That's what happens, Coop. Your witch is going to get older. There's one thing that won't change that you can count on, though."

He looked up at her with his big eyes. She booped his nose, "She'll always be your witch, and you will always be her best friend."

He huffed and thought about it, finally deciding to let Celene go so he could stand, "I guess..."

"Thank you," she told him. She then turned to Althea, "Now, bedtime."

She went up the stairs with Althea and put her in bed. She tucked her in and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my little witch. I'll see you in the morning with Daddy."

"Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, honey," she went to leave when Althea spoke, "Mommy, is Daddy gonna come kiss me goodnight?"

"He will when he gets back," she assured her, "But only if you go to sleep."

She smiled, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Y/N said, turning off the light and slowly closing the door. She went to the room next to Althea's to check on Emrys to see if he was still asleep.

When she saw him sleeping in his crib, she smiled and went back downstairs.

"Nice job with Cooper," Celene told her, "I tried to tell him that but he just kept whining. You'd think he'd be tough for a bear."

She laughed, "Yeah, well, Cooper's a big baby."

The door opened and Charlie came through, running a hand through her hair. "Hey, Char," you all greeted.

She smiled and waved. Cooper's head popped out of the other room and his tiny tail started wagging. He ran over to Charlie, "You took so long!"

"Look who's not sleeping," she giggled, petting his head, "Sorry for leaving you here, Coop. You just shed so much now, I was going to brush you out when I got back."

"He was sulking the whole time. He's a big baby," Mariah commented.

Charlie laughed and pet the heart-shaped mark on his nose, "He's a lovable baby."

He huffed and went with her to get his brush so she could brush out his fur.

Y/N sat down and said, "Hey, while you do that, I need to talk to everyone."

"Yeah, what's up?" Eileen asked, sitting on the couch.

"Shouldn't we wait for Levi?" Celene pointed out.

Y/N thought before shaking her head, "No, he should be fine."

Everyone sat down. Charlie had Cooper in her lap, Merida and Camille were on the windowsill. Eileen had Ella in her lap, petting the cat gently while Freya hopped in Y/N's lap and enjoyed being pet.

She started, "A witch from a coven in Wyoming reached out to us this morning."

"There's a coven in Wyoming? We haven't heard of them," Celene pointed out.

She nodded, "Neither have I. The letter was directed to me, asking for help. They have some sort of threat where they are and want my help."

"Are you going?" Eileen asked.

Y/N nodded, "Yes, we're the closest coven to Wyoming and it's part of my job to help witches who need it. Jasper and I head out the morning after the wedding. Eileen, Mariah, we're bringing you both along."

They nodded and Celene spoke, "What of us?"

"You, Charlie, and Levi will stay here. We still need to keep witches here in case anything happens in our absence. Charlie's still a little too young to come with, this could turn out bad and I don't want to risk it.

"Celene, I'm leaving you in charge. The kids are staying here as well. I don't know how long we'll be gone, hopefully, it will only be a week. I'll do daily check-ins to make sure everything's okay."

They nodded in understanding. "Are you sure you don't need anyone else to go with you? You can take Levi, I can look after Em and Thea."

She smiled, "Thank you, Celee, but we should be okay. If we need any help, I'll send a message immediately."

She was satisfied with that answer. With the urgent things out of the way, everyone was able to relax and converse before going to bed. Levi was back with Jasper at around one in the morning, laughing and joking with him.

Y/N briefed him on what was going to happen and then he went off to bed. Jasper smiled at her, his arms on her waist. He kissed her softly, "Sorry to keep you waiting, darlin'."

She smiled, "It was no problem." She kissed him again and then told him, "Althea wanted you to kiss her goodnight. Then maybe you and I can go kiss goodnight after."

He smirked, "I like the sound of that."

[epic-sorcerer]

Merlin would have been so much more gay if the writers stayed true to Celtic paganism(the historicaly accurate “old religion”)

Trigger warnings:

Main triggers: talk of sex, homophobia, religion, Catholics, colonization, anti Celtic, murder

Mention triggers: rape and sexual assault, creepy men, gore, insest, toxic masculinity

I will mark the sections with quick triggers with 2 red lines. Below the second one is when the trigger is gone.

_____________

I am posting this on December 21st, as today is the Winter Solstice, a Celtic Pagan holiday. It will be posted at 3:33 PM, as 3 is a sacred number among the celts. Because of the special occasion, I will be speaking on a subject that was important to many of them—homosexuality.

Some stuff first for introductions. Yes, yes, I know this may be boring but it helps with context. This religion didn’t have a name other than Celtic pagan or Celtic religion bc it seams everyone there believed it. This was until the Roman Empire concurred what is now the UK. Since Rome had adopted Christianity—more specifically, Roman Catholocism—they only allowed that religion to be practiced.

———(genocide)——

Once England was concurred in 43 A.D, the pagans were killed and their religion was surpressed. Not much is known about the pagans for this reason. However, we do know somethings from what the Romans have written down. Although, it is biased, as they believed the celts to be barbaric and also didn’t wright much about women.

——gore ——

First, we know they preformed human sacrifice on kings when the kingdom suffered along with some other groups.This could be from bad ruling to really bad weather. These kings died horribly, as they seamed to be stabbed multiple times, had thier nipples cut off, and left to die in a bog.

They had thier nipples cut off because the subjects would suck on the kings’ nipples to demonstrate submission, so cutting them off would fully dethrone the king.

—————

Now, background over. Here’s where it gets good.

Nipple sucking between too lovers or ‘special friends’ was seen as a preclemation of love, physical intimacy, and sexual expression. This, like other types of sex, was seen as something beutiful and sacred. Often, male soldiers would have these ‘special friend’ relationships with many fellow soldiers in groups. The Romans even observed that Celtic men seamed to prefer other males for love/sexual interest over women.

Nipple sucking was mostly described was between two men. Although, we must recognize that women may have been left out of written history. I would also like to point out, this may prove that aromantic people existed in that time, as these ‘special friends’ had sex and were not mentioned to be romantically involved.

The celts were known for their sex positivity and even eroticism because they loved it so much.This is one of the reasons why the pagans and the Chatholics clashed so badly.

Before the Romans really took over, Saint Patrick—yes, the Saint Patrick—started to try to convert the celts into Roman catholosim. He was appalled at the wide acceptance of polyamory(women were aloud to marry however many people they wanted) and homosexual relationships/marriages. Not to mention the celts could have sex with any one at any time as long as it is consensual.

——(Tw creepy men)——

That means no waiting til marriage, unless a Celtic chose to do so. Although we should take into consideration a statement made by Diodorus Siculus, an antient Greek historian, that “the young men will offer themselves to strangers and are insulted if the offer is refused.” In his series Bibliotheca historica. This could mean that either creepy men were comman place, or that homosexuality was so comman and done with everyone, it was wierd to be rejected.

————

Getting back to the Roman Catholics, the book Sextus Empiricus is published in the early 3th century and states,

“...amongst the Persians it is the habit to indulge in intercourse with males, but amongst the Romans it is forbidden by law to do so...”

It also goes on to say,

“...amongst us sodomy is regarded as shameful or rather illegal, but by the Germanic they say, it is not looked on as shameful but as a customary thing.”

For clarification, Germany is apart of Celtic society. So what we can infer is a very serious culture shock in terms of Rome and other places. During Emporor Serverus Alexander’s reign, openly homosexuals were deported.

In early 4th century, Emporor Constaine—the first Christian Roman Emperor—destroyed an Egyptian temple populated exclusively by femme, gay, pagan, priests. The Emproror then went on to eradicate all of them. However in 337 A.D., 3 emperors ruled, including Constantius II and Constans I, who where both in mlm relationships.

An odd thing these emporors went on to do was criminalize male bottoming during mlw sex 342 A.D.. 8 years later, Emperors Valentinian II, Theodosius I, and Arcadius ferther punished this act by killing these men by Public burning at the stake.

———(Tw toxic masculinity)———

I believe this was because masculinity was very important and a man acting in a more feminine role was seen as emasculating and humiliating. For the average man, he had to fight and defend his masculinity. Not doing so was seen as a personal failure.

——————

The last ever known peice of European literature containing a positive representation of homosexuality for 1,000 years was a large epic poem by Nonnus of Panopolis. It was titled Dionysiaca and the first part was published in 390 A.D., the last in 405 A.D..

So yeah, The catholics were very selective in terms of sex. One can only imagine how badly the celts and Catholics clashed. Back to 435 A. D., Saint Patrick began to preach Catholism and around that time wrote in his Confessio. He recounted that he found a boat to get out of Ireland and refused to suck on the nipples of those aboard.

“And on the same day that I arrived, the ship was setting out from the place, and I said that I had the wherewithal to sail with them; and the steersman was displeased and replied in anger, sharply: ‘By no means attempt to go with us.’ Hearing this I left them to go to the hut where I was staying, and on the way I began to pray, and before the prayer was finished I heard one of them shouting loudly after me: ‘Come quickly because the men are calling you.’ And immediately I went back to them and they started to say to me: ‘Come, because we are admitting you out of good faith; make friendship with us in any way you wish.’ (And so, on that day, I refused to suck the breasts of these men from fear of God, but nevertheless I had hopes that they would come to faith in Jesus Christ, because they were barbarians.) And for this I continued with them, and forthwith we put to sea.”

—(Tw very mild rape/sex assault mention—

So, as you can see, Celtic and Catholic ways clashed horribly. Something seen as good and sacred to the indigenous tribes was seen as barbaric and sinful to Saint Patrick. Also, don’t worry, the celts did not press the issue ferther, or else this would be a very different story.

—————

This only snowballed into a much bigger issue much later in medival English sexuality. They were VERY picky on what sex was aloud. Missionary was the only aloud position and it has to be the least pleasurable as possible. Making out and masturbation wasn’t aloud either, as that was also seen as a sin. Here’s a low Rez chart to help figure out when sex was okay.

While we are discussing such a queer topic, I would like to bring up the topic of Anam Cara, or Soul Friends in Antient Celtic culture. A Soul Friend was a word used to describe a Philosophy in which one is not completely whole without thier “other half.” This person can be in a platonic, romantic, or familiar kind of love. Really, all it boils down to is that 2 poeple were made to be together since the beginning of time and will be at thier strongest when they become companions.

There is a Celtic legend that seams to depict a mlm Anam Cara relationship. It tells the story of Cuchulainn and Ferdiad, two male worriors who have known and loved each other a long time. But they must kill each other in a duel. Both are vary reluctant, as at least one of them will have to die.

————(Tw insest)———

Before I go on, it is important to mention there is a lot of debate on wether or not this is homosexual. Mainly because they were foster brothers, but since insest wasn’t as much of a taboo, I do not think this would be as much of a set back as it is today.

—————

They had tried to kill each other each day for 3 days, but they ended up hugging each other and kissing 3 times. On the fourth day, however, Cuchulainn killed Ferdiad. The man then holds Ferdiad in his arms and sings peoms for a long time. Here are some:

“We were heart-companions once,

We were comrades in the woods,

We were men that shared a bed

When we slept the heavy sleep

After hard and weary fights.

Into many lands, so strange,

And side by side we sallied forth

And we ranged the woodlands through,When with Scathach we learned arms!”

Heart companions seams to be similar or the same as soul freind, because of how it’s used. Although sleeping in the same bed isn’t inherently sexual, Cuchulainn then goes on to complement Ferdiad’s physical features.

“Dear to me thy noble blush,

Dear thy comely, perfect form;

Dear thine eye, blue-grey and clear,

Dear thy wisdom and thy speech”

Although this is deeply sweet I would also like to caution that Chuhulainn may have simply been commenting on his healthiness, but blush is an odd word considering he is now dead.

Two male lovers, one dead in the other’s arms. Soul friends, maybe. Reminds me of a certain show..I don’t know I just can’t put my finger on it...

I would also like to point out that because Celtics did not pressure others to have sex, and that a soul friend can be any type of love, I do think that an asexual or someone on that spectrum could live without judgment.Unfortunately, I could not find much about intersex, androgynous, or trans people. Perhaps if I find anything in the future and will make a new post.

In conclusion, if Merlin were more historicaly accurate, he definitely would have been queer. Especially because he is said to be magic itself, it would make sense for him to be the personification of Celtic values. That may include homosexuality, because as previously stated, Celtic men really liked other men.

I’m excited to see what will come of this post, seeing as not a lot of people in the fandom seem to know this. More fanfiction? More fanart? It would probably inspire a lot of creators. So, if you do make something because of this post, please notify me in the notes, an ask, an @ or something. Basically anything but a PM. I would be happy to see/read the creation.

Sources:

Sexuality and love in Celtic society:

Same Sex Celts

Druid Thoughts: of Sex and Druids

Anam Cara, what’s a soul mate?

Sexuality in Ancient Ireland

The Celts, Women, and Sex

LGBT history

Sexuality and love in Medival Society:

Getting down and medival: the sex lives of the Middle Ages

Sex in the Middle Ages

Here’s What Sex Was Like In Medieval Times. It’ll Make You Feel Glad You Weren’t Born Back Then!

General Celtic Society:

Who Were the Celts

Celtic Religion and Belieifs

Saint Patrick

17 Things You Probably Didnt know about Saint Patrick

Confession of Saint Patrick

Cuchulainn and Ferdiad

Cuchulainn and Ferdiad, Gay Lovers?

The Combat of Ferdiad and Cuchulain

Insest in Antient Celtic Society

Ancient Irish elite practiced incest, new genetic data from Neolithic tomb shows

Homosexuality in the Roman Empire

Timeline of LGBT history

Timeline of LGBT history in the United Kingdom

[flowers-of-io]

asher for the accurate depictions meme!

1. Self-loathing and blame. It's so interesting to compare the ways Asher and Eris approach their respective situations. I agree with what @allteacher wrote about her, that she sort of sees herself mirrored in how others see her and is constantly proving them (herself) wrong, constantly reassuring herself that she hasn't gone mad and paranoid and lost in her purpose; but she never blames herself. I can't recall a single line of hers where she says, oh, I'm a terrible person, I did this abhorrent thing to myself and people are right in their judgement of me. She suffers from survivor's guilt and blames herself for things like not helping Omar or not saving Vell or trusting Toland, but interestingly enough she is quite reasonable in that guilt and doesn't blame herself abstractly. She knows what she had to do in order to survive and I believe she struggled with it for some time after returning to the Tower, but it doesn't seem to haunt her that much anymore. She rightfully blames the Hive, and sees vengeance.

Asher however spins it just the other way. Yes, he hates the Vex and gladly tasks us with killing Brakion, but I don't think that act of vengeance helps quell his guilt in any way. He blames himself for everything about the accident. He blames himself that it's happened in the first place, that he is unable to find a cure, that his Ghost also got changed and is suffering, that he cannot bear to kill it, and so on. Like Eris, he seethes with anger and that anger propels him to move forward and seek a way out, but where Eris directs that anger towards the enemy, he has it pointed only at himself. I've been musing lately on how one's relationships with others mirror their own relationship with themself and how the undue criticism towards people is often the criticism you have towards yourself; a part of my own therapy, but also incredibly interesting in terms of character study. Asher's roughness and criticism and constant blaming directed at others (us, Zavala, Ikora, his fireteam, just everyone except Eris really) is more than anything his own self-blame and anger. I love (though it breaks my heart) the scene where he lashes out at Ikora for suggesting he consults various people about his affliction; I think he is really yelling at himself for not being able to find a cure and save his own life, and her proposals are just a burning reminder of that.

2. Fear. Of course there's the paralyzing terror of sand in the hourglass running out--he doesn't know if his Ghost can still rez him and is afraid to test this (and considers himself a coward for it). But he is afraid of so many other things: a connection with the Vex, having people close, losing them and them losing him. Io is as much a sanctuary to him as it is a hideout, and Asher Mir's One Way Ticket loretab captures it better than I ever could tbh.

3. The way he connects with people. I wonder to what extent he flinches from human contact because he is afraid of quite literally dying on them. His relationship with Eris is both intimate and aloof, and long before his ?death? has she written openly about the possibility of him dying in a sort-of way of preparing herself for it (spoiler: it didn't work, it never does). I think they have always been holding hands only halfway, ready to let go any moment when life got too fleeting and the ropes broke. There's that passage from Marasenna about loosely tethered ships and I see this being somewhat this way.

The way he connects with us (the Guardian) is also notable because at first he doesn't allow himself for anything resembling warmth or emotion--not until we return from the Pyramidion for the first time. He's so scared of us going there, and I think the first time he talks to us openly is only when we come back victorious and alive. One of his out-dialogue lines was "Don't die", ffs. The Gensym Knight armour is all 'oh don't fool yourself by thinking these things will protect you from the harshness of battle' and 'I have no use for mawkish sentimentality, I just need you to stay alive'. He keeps his distance because he's terrified of us dying on him.

He doesn't speak to his fireteam, and I wonder if it's because they remind him of his great failure or whether he secretly blames himself for getting them into it, or maybe because he's, again, scared of getting close if he's gonna die and leave them grieving anyway. He just really keeps the tethers loose, something he acknowledges particularly about the relationship with Ikora, and that maybe he ought to allow for a little warmth on his part.

4. Fascination with the enemy. Oh I think this is a loretab to something from either CoO or Warmind, that letter where he replies to Eris he couldn't find anything about Nokris in his archives. He also asks her if she feels a strange fondness, or fascination, towards the being which changed her, and admits to admiring the Vex in a way; the intimacy of mutual destruction, the closer he gets to them in the attempt to wreck them the more he understands them. All the while being afraid of becoming them! His last stand in the Pyramidion illustrates this whole process, I think, his meandered relationship with that place and the Vex in general. He wishes to see their end but knows how valuable a force they are and would not let the Darkness have it, but he's willing to defend that place with his own blood I think because it is also his, in a convoluted and hard to grasp way. The bravery he couldn't summon up ever since the accident finally wins over the fear of death and he does rise up to fight and guard it, and walk through that gates again to face his own demons. He calls that radiolarian lake "his". I hate the ending of his part in Duress and Egress equally much as I love it, and the Exodus quest tears me up.

[since0202]

Chapter 15: Grief

“The Cullens. Are Vampires.” Grace said slowly repeating back what Jake had told her. Skepticism was thick in her voice but a nagging feeling started to take shape in the back of her mind. 

“Yes.” Jake said simply, not breaking eye contact with her. Grace stared at him for a solid minute and then with complete disbelief in her voice she said, 

“Jake-” 

“Grace, think about it.” He interjected. And she was. The Cullens. Edward. Bella’s boyfriend was a vampire? The thing they were trained to kill? It just didn’t seem likely. Bella would have told her right? But maybe not. Grace hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with the wolves or her being the Spirit Bird for almost two months. “Don’t you feel it?” he asked. 

Grace perked up at that and looked around her room. Things had felt off last night when she and Paul had pulled up to the house. Paul had said there was a vampire here, but she had thought he was referring to the redhead. 

Her eyes lit up with crashing realization--the dream, the feeling she had when she first met Edward that had set her destiny in motion. 

“Then that means she knows.” Grace said suddenly. Jake nodded, placing his hands in his lap and satisfied with his explanation. “And now she’s going to get him?” Jake sighed and let his gaze fall to the floor. 

“I guess.” Grace sensed no danger when Alice was here and she sensed no danger when she first met Edward, only in her dream did she feel ill at ease. She stood up suddenly lost in thought. Jake mirrored her, reaching his hands out unconsciously to her. She paced away from him, one hand on her hip, chewing her lip and thinking. 

“So the redhead is -” 

“Victoria,” Jake responded sickly. Grace raised an eyebrow. “Can you just come here, and listen?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know what I mean.” Jake shook his outstretched hands at her beckoning her over. She stood far apart from him, critical but she wasn’t sure why. His face communicated defeat, but she felt something deeper was plaguing him. She recognized that look that pulled at his face but she couldn’t convince herself that it was true. 

“I want to go talk to Sam. And the rest of the pack.” Grace moved decidedly to her dresser and pulled on some loose sweats over her sleep shorts and dragged an oversized hoodie over her torso. Jacob gave her a wanting look. 

“Is that Paul’s?” Grace was confused for a moment by his question and then looked down at the hoodie. It was a plain grey hoodie but it was ripped in certain places as if someone had tugged on it too much. 

“Is that important?” Grace shot back. She wasn’t sure why she was being so defensive. Maybe it was the fact that she had felt exceedingly confused by her friendship/relationship with Jake and then the fact that what Jake and Bella had was never explained also irked her. And now this new Jake, who was clearly thrown out to sea, adrift, looking for safe harbor, she wasn’t familiar with. And all of this uncertainty made her feel disconnected from him, which felt worse. 

“I guess not,” he said, hurt mutating into concealed anger coloring his voice. It was true. The hoodie was Paul’s, but it was one she was given in her early training days with Jared, Sam, and Paul, when she would overshoot and land in the water. On one particularly cold January day, Paul had given her his sweatshirt on the ride home, fearing she might freeze to death. Grace recalled the awkward moment of changing in his forerunner during the drive, looping her hands in the sweatshirt while trying to discreetly take the soaked t-shirt off underneath it. She remembered Paul’s face and how his eyes were drawn to the sound her wet t-shirt made as it plopped on the floor of the car. 

Now standing in front of Jake, she felt an odd sense of betrayal that shouldn’t be there. She shook her head to clear it. 

“Okay, then let’s go.” She turned and jogged down the steps, coming to a stop when she remembered Charlie in the other room. The note was still upstairs on her desk. She slowly walked into the living room where he was staring at the tv but not really watching it. She leaned down and hugged him gently to which he kindly returned. 

“I’m going to run to the rez with Jake real quick. Are you going to be okay?” 

“Always am.” He smiled sadly and she returned it, grief washing over her again. 

“I’ll bring back something from the diner, yeah?” Grace said and patted his shoulder. He nodded and turned back to the tv. 

She grabbed her sneakers and jogged down the steps pulling them on. Jake was lagging behind, dreading something that Grace couldn’t quite place. 

She did realize on the drive there that she was actively blocking him out. For this she was sorry but couldn’t seem to let him in. 

When she pulled up to Sam’s, she was relieved to see everyone there. She hopped from the truck and was met with the pack pouring out the front door. Along with-

“Leah?” Grace said when she spotted her. Leah did not look happy to be there. She looked to Sam for confirmation and he gave a short nod. Grace’s heart broke, understanding instantly what that meant. 

Paul was looking from Grace to Jacob, a small smirk on his face. 

“What are you smiling at?” Grace said. 

“Did you tell her?” Paul said, his eyes not leaving Grace but directing the question to Jacob. 

“Paul.” Sam said. 

“Yeah, he told me about the Cullens. How long have you all known?” Grace asked. The pack shifted uncomfortably and her eyes landed on Sam, “Another order to withhold information? Really?” 

“You were too close to the situation, I didn’t want to make it more complicated than it already was.” Sam stated plainly. Instead of reacting, Grace considered this. 

“Okay,” she said softly. Sam looked surprised. “Is there anything else I should know?” 

“The treaty states that they are not a threat, we don’t harm them unless they break the treaty by coming onto our land or biting a human. To the best of our knowledge, they are less dangerous than the average vampire. That’s everything.” Sam said. 

“Well, not everything.” Paul responded. 

“Don’t, Paul.” Sam said. Jake had his arms crossed and was glaring daggers at Paul. The other members had spread out, preparing for a fight, lounging on the porch or climbing into Grace’s truck bed to get a better vantage point. 

“What else then?” Grace said, prompting Paul. 

“Tell her,” Paul baited. Jacob was stone faced. 

“Tell me what?” Grace looked to Jacob. Only when she looked his way did he avert his gaze from Paul and his eyes softened. He opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped when Paul let out a huff that turned into a laugh. Jacob’s eyes went straight back to Paul, the anger returning. “Tell me WHAT?” Grace said louder this time. Paul and Jacob were in a standoff. And when Paul was satisfied that Jake wouldn’t say it first, he took the initiative. 

“He kissed her.” Paul said, looking back to Grace as if he won something. 

“Who?” Grace looked to Jake. 

“Bella.” Paul confirmed. 

“Paul, that’s enough.” Sam barked. 

Grace didn’t let her eyes leave Jake and she turned her body to stand directly in front of him. He glanced up over her head and back at Paul, clearly uncomfortable. 

“I didn’t kiss her.” Jake said evenly, disappointed even. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You almost kissed her and then you told her you loved her.” Paul clarified--he took an automatic step toward Grace. This seemed to incense Jake who looked like he was about to lunge for him. Grace was speechless for a moment, still staring up at Jake with her mouth open, waiting for words to form. 

“Is that true?” she finally managed to say in a tone stronger than she realized. Jake hesitated for a moment, shaking out his right hand nervously and not meeting her gaze for a moment. Then he took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye and said, 

“Yes.” 

The sound of the ‘yes’ rang out like a shot to Grace and she outwardly flinched. So that look on his face that Grace had spotted earlier this morning was accurate—heartbreak. She knew that feeling all too well and was sure that as Jake was looking at her now, he’d see that same look reflected back at him on her face. 

She had so many more questions she wanted to ask, but feared the answer to them, so instead, she remained silent, staring up at Jake who was desperately trying to communicate with her. Grace took a step back and stood next to Paul. She suddenly felt repelled by the one person she felt the closest connection to. 

Resolved to keep herself together, she swallowed hard, tears brimming in her eyes and turned to walk slowly up into Emily’s house. Some of the pack followed close behind her, leaving Jake, Paul, and Sam out in front. Grace had heard enough for one day. 

A few minutes later, Paul and Sam crossed the threshold to the door and Paul took his place next to Grace who was sitting up on the kitchen counter, eating some granola from Emily’s snack stash. Jake never came inside, in fact, Grace was pretty sure he took off shortly after Paul and Sam joined the others. Leah sat on a chair on the porch by the open front door, not wanting to come inside, Grace felt a similar feeling washing off of her that she herself felt. 

------

When Grace got home that afternoon with food in hand for her and Charlie, she could easily sense the wolf presence nearby but she chose to ignore it. 

She carefully opened the door and called out: “Charlie?” as she made her way toward the kitchen. She was met by him standing there holding the note that Bella had given Grace, staring at it. 

“I found this on your desk.” Charlie said, even toned but clearly upset. “It seems like it’s for me.” Grace swallowed hard and set the diner food down. All she could do was nod. “So she left again...to go find him?” Grace nodded again. “When was this?” 

“Last night.” Grace almost whispered. Charlie crumpled the letter and left it on the counter. 

“Let’s eat,” he said dejectedly. Grace stood quietly in place and then grabbed some food once Charlie had sat at the kitchen table. 

“Am I grounded?” Grace finally squeaked out pushing around her veggie lasagna. Charlie chewed thoughtfully for a moment. 

“Not yet. Why is there something you should be grounded for?” Charlie asked, an odd tone of nonchalance masking his obvious pain. Grace could definitely think of a list of reasons. “Harry’s funeral is tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll be needed to help out, so plan on that.” Grace gave a soft nod. 

----

The next morning, Grace woke up early to get ready. She braided her hair and tied purple and yellow ribbons into her hair that she had worn to her father’s funeral. She let her necklace Ti’Hal had adorned her with hang long and refitted her bracelet. Grace smoothed out the simple black dress she’d only worn one other time that fell just above her knees. 

She waited until the sun rose, sitting on the staircase and looking out her front door, waiting for Charlie. When he finally came down, he was surprised and helped her up off the stairs and to his cruiser. They drove in silence as Grace clutched her black jacket in her lap. She’d done this before, she could do this again. 

Everyone was gathered at the community center and planned to walk the short distance to a lightly wooded area where Harry was to be buried. Grace automatically scanned the crowd when they arrived looking for her pack, and unfortunately, one face in particular. Was she a glutton for pain? 

She saw most of the pack gathered toward the front, Sam was talking to some of the elders, and the rest were milling about conversing with those closest to them. Leah was next to her mother, arm around her, looking to hold onto composure for as long as she was able. Seth was folded into the pack’s group. She signaled to Charlie that she would be back when she made eye contact with Quil who gave her the nod and a wave. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief once she joined their gathering. Ti’Hal was nearby, eyeing her. 

When it was time to walk over, Paul and Sam rejoined their group. Paul took Grace’s hand in his and she couldn’t help but look him up and down. 

“You guys clean up nice.” she said off-hand. This resulted in a loose laugh from the group. She smiled at Paul who gave her a warm look and then reached out her other hand to Seth Clearwater who gladly took it. 

Seth looked so young, at just 14 he only came up to just above Grace’s shoulder. He dwarfed in comparison to the massive height of the pack. She appreciated regular-sized Seth, because once they started phasing, it triggered an uncontrollable growth spurt that defied normal height standards. Jake towered at nearly 6’5” and Paul was close behind him at 6’4”. Grace was going to be in a neck brace by 20 from constantly having to look up at them. 

They settled on a place in front, Seth sitting next to her and Paul draping an arm around her shoulder. Grace never let go of Seth’s hand which gradually became clamier as the service proceeded. She was doing an alright job of keeping it together until Ti’Hal stood up and sang a farewell song. Paul got up from his seat as well as Sam and some other members of the pack to help lower Harry into the ground as Ti’Hal sang. Once they hoisted his casket and started to lower it, everyone stood up. Leah appeared at Grace’s side, but she was too focused on watching Harry’s casket slowly disappear from view. 

As Ti’Hal reached a crescendo, Seth dropped Grace’s hand and wrapped both his arms around her torso, clutching her as he hid his face and began to cry in full force now. Grace would take the weight of this pain gladly. And then she felt a hand grab for hers—Leah. She was still staring straight ahead but held onto Grace’s free hand that wasn’t looped around Seth so tightly that she felt her pulse throb in her fingertips. 

She would take this pain too. Grace straightened up and felt the wash of grief run over her in the room. She opened herself to receiving every ounce of emotion and sadness in the room and let it crash in around her until she felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. 

When the service ended and everyone began to depart toward the Clearwater home for the reception, Grace beelined it for the beach. She had to put the massive amount of grief that was burying her somewhere. As she weaved her way through the crowd and finally pushed to the edge, she ran directly into Jake. He was wearing a simple white button down shirt and grey slacks with a loosely fitted tie. 

The sight of him almost made her burst into a million pieces. He tried to catch her under the arms to stop her but she took off, recasting just out of sight and landing directly on the edge of La Push beach. She kicked off her flats and waded waist deep into the water, letting out a wail so loud she thought her eardrums would explode. The grief that she held for Seth, Leah, the entire tribe that they put into her to carry spilled into the ocean and was pulled out by the waves. She took gasping, shuddering breaths as the cold water pushed against her hips, and she let her hands drift just above the water’s surface. When she finally felt like the grief was drained from her, she calmly turned and trudged back to shore. 

Paul was waiting, his chest rose and fell with deep breaths he was taking as he watched Grace step out from the waves. She walked right up to him and threw her arms around his neck and held onto him tight. He responded in kind and looped his arms around her torso and pressed his hands against her back. She relished in his warmth and felt an overwhelming sense of relief at being held. 

She didn’t know how long they stood there holding onto one another with the waves lapping up under their feet, but she hadn’t felt like this in awhile. When he finally pulled back a little, he pressed his forehead to hers and she felt his warm breath on her face. 

“You okay?” he breathed, his fingers gently moving across her lower back, making her shiver. She nodded and looked up at him, just for a beat. Something in her face must have conveyed a look of want, and she did feel a rush of excitement when he looked at her that way. 

He dipped his head and pressed his lips to meet hers, and a splash of warmth spread from his lips to hers. His lips were soft and welcoming, such an opposite feeling to what he presented as a person. She knew this felt good and for a moment she pulled herself closer to him, which he readily interpreted as her want, but then just as quickly, something spiraled in her and she pulled back, taking a step away from him. The warmth evaporated and she felt cold again. 

“Grace, it’s okay.” Paul reassured her, his breathing was still quick and labored from the kiss and his eyes were on fire as they looked at every inch of her. She looked at him and knew that was true, it was okay, they’d done nothing wrong, but in her she knew something was missing. She didn’t have the energy to figure that out at this moment though. 

“I know,” she said but she kept her distance. “Let’s go back.” He looked at her for one more wanting moment and then nodded holding out his hand to hers. 

She took it and together they traversed up the beach, Paul scooped up her shoes and carried them with him. If the pack didn’t know already, they would know soon what had happened and for once, Grace didn’t care. 

They crested the hill and walked the rest of the way to the Clearwaters, easily getting absorbed into the crowd. Paul stayed close by as she was buoyed from elder to elder, family to family, to connect and share in their collective grief, but what Grace had done during the burial had seemed to lift the tribe up out of the overwhelming swell of sadness and alleviate some pain, at least for now. And for that she was grateful. 

When she reached Ti’Hal, the gentle woman placed her hands on either side of Grace’s face and brought her down to touch her forward to Grace’s. They both closed their eyes and silently communicated to one another to which Ti’Hal quietly said: “Destinies take time to unravel, and people who matter most always return to you in the end. Hold tight, little bird.” 

Grace smiled and mumbled a soft thanks before finally moving back to the pack. Sam was holding onto Emily and they both were giving her a worried look but she waved them off. 

She felt more sure than ever that she could handle this, whatever this was. But that didn’t help the ache she felt growing within her. 

[unholyplumpprincess]

Gonna talk abt Bloodhound’s lore and what we know so far and a few case and points to talk about!!

Warnings: Pathfinder quest spoilers! Apex Legends Spoilers! Comic spoilers (Only to the third page!)

Please do not hit the read more if you do not wanna be spoiled in some way!!!!

~Rest under the cut here~

First, let me start with Bloodhound’s age. In the book they say that their village accepted technology about 20 winters ago, guessing in their cinematic that Bloodhound is 13-16, Bloodhound is in their early to mid 30′s!

Boone used Bloodhound and he was probably the first person they ever had a romantic interest in, with that in mind, not only was Boone someone they cared for, Boone was another person they saw that they loved be Killed In Front Of Them. This means EVERYONE Bloodhound has ever loved has died in front of them. Their father killed in front of them, Boone, their mother they never got to see how she ended but they Know how she did, and Artur.

Bloodhound must believe there is a curse upon them to see everyone they love die right before their eyes, and this explains their standoffish nature and how they come off as ‘reclusive’ and have little to no voice lines with others. But as we’ve seen from lore comics made by other artists, and the current comic: Bloodhound does Not Like Conflict. Which is pretty funny considering they’re a warrior.

Bloodhound was also a young leader. From such a young age they had to bear the weight of being a leader to their village after Artur was killed in front of them. Having to convince them to use technology to help strengthen their village. Even to this day, they still go back home (mentioned by Pathfinder via the book), and I bet they STILL lead that village to this day, even if there is not as many people as before.

In the loading screen on battlepass level 65 “Chaos and Love (Ode To Boone)” Bloodhound remorses and reminisces about Boone while a picture of Fuse is on screen. This may be a hint that Bloodhound is interested in Fuse as he may remind them OF Boone- or the fact that seeing King’s Canyon fall (a place theyr’e familiar with) was like seeing a loved one pass away reminded them of Boone.

Fuse and Bloodhound’s voice lines in game with Fuse via the rez lines have to do with the comic it’s looking like. The third chapter kinda explains that more in detail so it looks like the devs put the voicelines early when normally they do not. BUT if that is not the case (but again judging by the third chapter of the quest comic it IS) then perhaps Fuse and Bloodhound knew each other in the past.

Bloodhound is close with Loba. Close enough she gives her coordinates To them and also she calls them by their name in their native tongue, so she’s made an effort and also gotten to know them further. She may be the first person they’ve let into their life, but even then they offhand mention she is a collector of men, but then changes their wording to Treasures instead. They also open up to her in game, admittign they are afraid of heights.

Bloodhound has been a leader since they were a child. They are seen giving advice to others around them (Gibraltar for instance, in game) and trying to stay out of conflict that does not involve them. They’re a peacemaker, and it’s questionable on when they’ve ever been allowed to be the one that is held and given that peace of mind.

Mirage and Bloodhound’s mothers knew each other and worked on a project together. But Bloodhound never met Mirage or his mother.

The reasons harvester is there is to harvest branthium. Something we know links back to Horizon as well and Pathfinder in turn.

Boone was Bloodhound’s lover or maybe Boone thought of them as a ‘one time thing’. They mention to Pathfinder that he and they were very good friends and mention kissing in their poem- but not to Pathfinder, who they already were standoffish about telling him all of this information anyway.

Bloodhound is fighting in the arena in order to create enough slaughter to allow Boone into Valhalla, since he died dishonorably and not in battle. Their ‘For my love’ quip is dedicated to Boone, stating that each kill they make is FOR him. Despite him doing them absolutely dirty, they have kept onto his memory for so long and refuse to let him go. This goes as well for Artur, so Bloodhound already has major PTSD, but also their religious belief keeps them holding onto these memories of these people. They probably also fight in their parents’ honor as well.

The creature ‘the osedur’, Boone, and ‘promises that drew me to these games’ are mentioned in the Trials on World’s edge. We know now of the creature and Boone, but are the ‘promises’ something else, or are the ‘promises’ Odin demanding sacrifice for Bloodhound’s loved ones?

Bloodhound does nothing for themself. They focus on others around them- even their whole reasoning of BEING in the GAMES is for other people it’s seeming like. And then they go back home to a village where they equally take charge and provide leadership. Give bloodhound a break holy shit.

To wrap it up: Someone needs to provide Bloodhound a safe space where they can let their guard down and also show them that the people (Boone) they’ve held onto for so long were fucking Awful and do not deserve the dedication Bloodhound puts into them. This can ALSO explain why Loba attracts Bloodhound in a way we have not seen before because as stated before they go so far as to tell her a weakness: They’re afraid of heights. And not only that, she trusts them with sensitive information of her coordinates.

Whether just friendly or smth more, it certainly is hella interesting. Not to mention the ability to connect a lot of their past lore hints to present day new ones.

Thank you all for coming as I yell :D

Editing to also add: If you notice, the more upset Bloodhound gets, the more they speak in their native tongue! 

[set-phasers-to-whump]

safety

whumpee: kurt wallander

fandom: young wallander

this fic is for @bright-was-right who said: "Hello! If you're still taking fic requests via "I wish you'd write..." - Young Wallander + taken hostage by a suspect, pretty please? Either in the station or during an arrest? Tbh anything you write is gonna be gold anyway but that's all I could come up with😂" sorry this took so long and sorry it's not the best i've been like. super stressed lately and it's just a Lot so i apologize! i hope this is ok though!!!

The barrel of the gun is cold against his temple, and it digs into the skin so hard that Kurt will be shocked if it doesn’t leave a bruise. Though it may just as easily leave a bloody, gaping hole in his head as his body thuds lifelessly to the floor…

He can’t think like that. He can’t think like that. He’s in a police station, surrounded by cops who are going to negotiate with the man who is currently holding him hostage. He’s going to be fine. 

Except he’s going to be shot in the head. The gun shakes against his head, pressing harder and harder into him all the time. One of the officers standing around them says something, and Kurt hears the gun click and closes his eyes because he is about to die and god, he really doesn’t want to die. He’s too young to die. There’s so much he hasn’t done, years and years worth of experiences and he’s not going to get to have any of them because he’s about to be shot to death in the middle of the fucking police station because this suspect had apparently lost his goddamn mind and - 

Bang.

Kurt falls to the floor, dead. Except...he’s not dead? He thinks for a moment that he must be, but then slowly opens his eyes and sees the familiar floor of the police station and realizes that he is most definitely alive. 

He can still feel the gun pressing to his head, but someone pulls him to his feet and he sees his former captor lying motionless on the ground, a pool of blood spilling out from his body, so the gun can’t be touching him anymore. It’s sitting on the floor, actually, and Rask is bending down to pick it up. He’s safe. 

God, he’s safe. He’d almost died, right here in the middle of this room, surrounded by coworkers and friends who would have had to see him die and the indent on his head where the gun had been pressing feels like it’s burning, feels like it’s freezing, feels like it’s bleeding and dripping down his face and there had been a gun to his head and now there is not and he had thought for a moment that he’d been shot and killed and he had thought for sure that he was going to be killed and now it’s over almost as quickly as it had begun and he’s alive and - 

“Breathe, Kurt.”

Reza. Reza almost had to see him die. He reaches out a hand, fists it into the fabric of Reza’s jacket and holds on for all he’s worth. He makes shaky eye contact with his best friend, breathes out in a long, uneven shudder.

“Rez.”

“You okay?”

A sort of whooshing noise drowns out Reza’s question. Kurt feels like he’s drowning. Feels like the gun is still pressed against his head. Feels absolutely terrified, which is ridiculous, because the danger is gone, he’s fine, he’s fine, right? But there’s this noise in his ears and this panic in his head and he’s pretty sure he’s shaking and not quite breathing right and he has no idea what to do, so he just looks at Reza, blurry and unfocused through a field of tears (and when had he started crying?). 

Reza grabs onto Kurt’s shoulders, loosening Kurt’s grip on his jacket at the same time. He guides the two of them carefully to the ground, adjusting their bodies so that Kurt’s back is pressed against the side of a desk and Reza’s is in front of him, effectively shielding him from any potential danger.

He’s safe. Kurt knows this, knows it even more so now, with Reza crouched in front of him, but apparently his mind has decided to throw all logic out the window, because it’s still insisting that he’s in mortal danger, and he’s still shaking and panicking and the tears are still rolling down his face and he wants it to stop but he is still so, so scared and Reza’s right there and he’s safe but he’s not and Reza’s there.

Almost instinctively, Kurt launches himself forward, straight at Reza, who fortunately does not go toppling over as Kurt slams into his chest, burying his face in Reza’s shoulder. His hands once again grip Reza’s jacket, latching onto the back of it with a surprising amount of strength considering that they’re still shaking. 

A sob tears its way out of his throat, and Kurt presses his face harder still into Reza’s shoulder. Reza brings up his own arms and wraps them gently around Kurt, rubbing one hand on his back and keeping the other pressed against the back of his head. He’s saying things, things like “it’s okay,” and “I’ve got you,” and other, similar words that Kurt can’t quite hear. His voice sounds like it does when Shaba is scared, and at another time Kurt might have found that a bit embarrassing, but at the moment he only finds it comforting and calming. 

They sit there like that for several minutes, as Kurt slowly begins to come back to himself. He feels the panic start to ebb from his body, listens as the whooshing in his ears fades away, replaced with the now much clearer sound of Reza’s voice. His hands are still shaking, though his body is not, and he can feel his heart still beating too fast, but he no longer feels the gun pressing to his head. The mark there hurts, yes, but it hurts like a bruise hurts, not like a gunshot wound hurts, not like raw panic hurts. 

He takes a deep breath that doesn’t tremble and blinks his eyes open. They feel raw and achy, but they’re also dry. He’s stopped crying. He sniffs, pulls a hand away from Reza’s jacket and rubs it under his nose. Finally, he pulls himself away from Reza, not completely, but enough to look at him. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, voice slightly hoarse. 

“You good now?” Reza asks, tapping a light hand against Kurt’s cheek.

Kurt nods. “‘M alright,” he says. He risks a quick glance around, then, his cheeks already heating up as he imagines all of his coworkers standing around him, watching…

Nobody’s there. It’s just him and Reza.

“You really think everyone would just stand around and watch you freak out?” Reza asks, evidently following Kurt’s train of thought. 

Kurt shrugs. 

“Rask made ‘em all clear out. She wants to talk to you, by the way.”

Kurt opens his mouth to protest.

“Not right away,” Reza continues, apparently still on Kurt’s thought-train. “But soon. It’s procedure, and all that.”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees, cutting himself off briefly with a yawn. “Can I go home first, though? I’m really tired.”

“Rask already gave you the rest of the day off,” Reza responds, giving Kurt a hand up and not saying a word when Kurt keeps leaning on him once they’re both on their feet. “She also said that I could go home early, so long as I keep an eye on you. So you’re coming over to my place.”

There’s little point in protesting that, Kurt figures. What kind of friend would he be if he didn’t let Reza take the rest of the day off of work? And if that means he gets to spend some quality time with his best friend and his family, safe and protected, well, who is he to turn that down? 

thanks for reading this!! like i said im sorry if it sucks lmk if its like. absolutely awful and i can rewrite it lmao. but i hope maybe you liked it? anyway love u all!!