#considering they had to just rez everyone all the time

[mikkouille]

I've embarked myself into too much video game story it's all over now

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for abandoning my party in the middle of a notoriously tough dungeon?

i (26m) was playing ffxiv and had just unlocked a new dungeon. all my friends were asleep and i was too excited to wait, so i decided to go against my social anxiety and run it with randos.

the scant handful times i'd run dungeons with randos before went great - earlier that day after another dungeon i'd even gotten player commendations from two of the players in a party i was healing for - so i was more or less confident this time would be fine as well.

boy oh boy was i wrong...

i got matched with three players we will simply call tank, healer, and dps (age and gender unknown for all three). i went in as a bard (all my other jobs were too underlevelled), filling the remaining dps role.

things went awry almost as soon as we set foot in that dungeon. i died in the first room to some enemies that aggro'd on me and ganged up on me. the rest of the party left the room pretty much immediately after all enemies were dead.

i politely asked to be resurrected, to which healer reluctantly complied. they told me to "just rez next time", which would've sent me to the beginning of the dungeon. in hindsight that would've prolly been fine since it was only the first room.

after i caught up to the others i once again got swarmed with monsters. this is gonna be a pattern if you couldn't tell. after i'd died to this pattern a couple times tank yelled at me for "constantly pulling everything ffs".

for those who don't know, tanks (at least in this game) have a special ability that basically acts as an aggro magnet. i have a strong suspicion tank wasn't using said ability considering how often i got swarmed, but we'll never know for sure.

now the mid boss was where it truly went to shit. no matter how much of a distance i kept from that damn thing, no matter how well i evaded its aoe attacks, i just kept dying over and over again. one time the rest of the party even got sent back somehow. i'm not sure how.

and why did i keep dying you may ask? because healer never healed me. not once after they resurrected me at the beginning did i notice my hp go up aside from when i used hi-potions or my one (1) healing spell, both of which have a very long cooldown. i think they were glued to tank the entire time, completely neglecting me and dps.

and yet, i was the one taking the blame for everything. for pulling the enemies tank should've pulled. for constantly dying, which i couldn't help because healer never once touched me after that first resurrection.

it was really starting to affect me so after i let my dead body be sent back to the beginning of the dungeon i finally put my foot down and left the dungeon. this disbanded the party, not only kicking everyone from the dungeon, but likely also penalizing all 4 of us because of my actions.

i will clarify that this wasn't just any old dungeon; it was aurum vale. it's a dungeon you need to be at least level 47 for. while i don't know much about it myself, judging by the way my friends talk about it the semi-universal verdict is that it sucks major balls. it' would's not be a fun dungeon to have to redo, that's for sure.

i was on the verge of tears for well over 30 minutes afterwards, both from the emotional afterquakes of fear and anger but also from the guilt of abandoning these people like that.

so, am i the asshole? am i too sensitive? should i just have sucked it up and kept going?

tldr; i felt like my party of randos were blaming me for being the weakest link while doing their own jobs poorly, and decided to prioritize my own feelings by leaving the dungeon, dissolving the party and forcing the others to start all over again

Oh no. Oh honey. I am so sorry Aurum Vale is just like that. I'm gonna put the poll here and some extra INFO/advice under a readmore because it's a bit long, but please read on before voting.

First: don't let leaving bother you too much, it didn't kick everyone from the dungeon, that's not how it works. If one person leaves, the queue just refills the party with a new person and the dungeon continues like normal, or everyone else now has the option to leave without penalty.

Aurum Vale's first room is a motherfucker--basically it's an older design with lots of wandering monsters, so on the first room especially you need to hug the left hand wall as tight as you can to aggro as little as possible. Let the tank go first and grab aggro on mobs. Don't pull for the tank, especially at this level range. Let them do their job. I can't say for sure whether they had their aggro-generating stance on, could go either way, but I can see why they got annoyed at someone pulling stuff they weren't ready for yet. While wall-to-wall pulling is pretty standard in this game, that's the tank's call to make, not the dps's--and some of these older dungeons with funky level syncing or enemy pacing make wall-to-walling more difficult and not for everyone.

(BTW, as an aside, tank stance works as a personal buff, not a magnet--they do still need to hit things to grab their aggro, sometimes more than once if someone else has already established on them. If they already have a pack they're working on and you grab something way on the other side of the room, you'll have to bring it over to them so they can take it off you!)

If you do die to mobs between bosses, sometimes the best thing to do is just release and respawn! If you get a rez, you'll have a debuff that makes you weaker for a while. Definitely if it's the very first room, releasing is the move most of the time.

As for dying to bosses: was it definitely the mid boss, the cyclops? Because the other two (the plant and the morbol) both have mechanics that make you take slow damage over time unless you eat a fruit to get rid of it. You want to eat a fruit every 2-3 stacks of the debuff that you get because that's where the damage starts to get more severe; before then, the healer can probably handle you.

Basically, it seems like this party mistook inexperience for malice and was rude to you in response. Not healing you, for example, is absolutely inexcusable. You did some things suboptimally that made the dungeon harder for the group, but honestly we were all there once, don't let it get to you too much. Try it again with your friends bearing the stuff I mentioned in mind, and it'll go much better! But as an aside it SUCKS to heal, if you have a more experienced friend you should let them handle it haha

[starheirxero]

I am very curious about why you don't want Lunar to go with the astrals.

Given our understanding of you it seems odd that you wouldn't want to see more of the astrals and star power.

Maria is being a bitch about it and I want to know your reasoning [especially considering you were a lumini shipper at one point in time]

[Rez anon]

Okay this has sat in my inbox for a few days and I've been really turning it over, because yeah, by all accounts? I should be super into this! In fact, I am still actively curious about astrals n star power n such, and I do still enjoy lumini tons!

I think it's just that, this is a question being proposed after a long line of events that have constantly had me asking "when does it get better? when does it get easier for Lunar?" and this proposition, to me, feels like it's answer is: "it doesn't get better. it doesn't get easier. they either stay, disconnected from their family while accidentally putting them in danger, or they leave, disconnected from their family in a different way while throwing themselves into a life that requires constant stress and hard work with a council that has deeply mixed feelings on them."

And honestly? I can't even fully wrap my head around why that irks me so bad!! Because all things considered again, this is the kinda fucked up situation that should get me going "oh MAN this is so unfair I'm eating it up, pain and agony!!! ^_^"

But. Somehow the unfairness just deeply upsets me.

And uh, that's. The short answer, but I hella yapped and don't wanna delete it, so more under the cut:

Maybe it's something about how Lunar even acknowledged it feels unfair, but settled on "I don't deserve fair." Maybe it's something about how Lunar's entire basis for leaning towards leaving is "My existence is an inherent threat."

Maybe it's something about how Moon's mind grinder conditioned them into the previous behaviors in ways that even Pollux has said "I think you've just settled into constantly hating yourself, dude." Maybe it's the fact Libra's "test" was just. A magic version of the mind grinder too!!

On top of all this, why do I have any reason to believe Lunar will be welcomed in the council? Half of them wanted Lunar dead! Lunar is different and I absolutely don't put it past a lot of the astrals to actively sabotage Lunar so they can point and go "ah, see? what did i tell you, the thing's too unstable/stupid/whatever to be an astral."

The reason it makes me so upset is because I just feel on a deep, visceral level that Lunar deserves better than this. Lunar deserves better than to lowkey be forced to ascend to demi-godhood because everyone around him is distant and he doesn't have anyone to fall back to. They're honestly already alone, astralhood is going to be the final, irreversible nail in the coffin.

And, something my friend pointed out to me, is that it feels like they know that! It feels like they're just leaning towards astralhood because "well, at least I'm doing something 'productive' there so it's less certain misery than having to stay around my family who reiterates to me how much I've fucked up and how weird I am to them."

But... you know what? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my assumptions of the astrals is grasping onto info that is either not fully revealed, twisted/masked, or just flat out retconned. Maybe they'll ascend and it'll fix all their problems just like that! Maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder and whatnot and the family will be normal about Lunar afterwards. And if it does turn out the astral council is just a bunch of chill guys? Then I was worried for nothing! Great!

But based off what I know and have gathered and interpreted? Lunar becoming an astral sounds like a surefire way to spend the rest of their life teetering on a breakdown.

[llamaisllama777]

TSAMS/LAES THEORY/PREDICTION TIME!

Okay, so since Creator is now a rezurrected dark star entity, I have a few theories on what could happen next...

Theory 1# Calm before the storm

Solar goes to Sun and Moon probably still covered in blood with a giant smile on his face and tells them "I killed Creator!" And of course Sun and Moon are shocked and maybe horrified but immediately get over it and start celebrating that the man who caused them so much torture is dead. Sun, Moon, and Solar probably throw a party celebrating his death and eventually Earth finds out and she's probably gonna be conflicted cause he was a terrible, awful, downright evil human being but he was still her dad. She'd probably be sad that her dad is dead but Sun and or Monty will comfort her

(probably Monty cause he can sort of relate to having a bad dad)

Then I think Monty will propose to Earth cause in the episode Solar snaps, he mentions a surprise for Earth. Now I know it could be something completely different, and this would be some interesting timing to propose considering everything that's gone down, but I can see it. Earth might say yes or she might say not now

(Not No, just not yet)

The point is that there will be a few months of peace for the family. A huge weight will be lifted off their shoulders cause they all think Creator is dead. Sun will feel relief that that monster is gone and might even try looking for someone cause Sun mentioned he wanted to but was afraid that something might happen to them so with Creator being 'dead' Sun will feel a little bit safer to start dating and might actually find love. Moon will still be Moon, but probably a lot happier since his Creator is dead, Earth will be a little sad but will eventually understand that Creator HAD to be killed and if she says yes to Monty her and him will have a lot more stuff to worry about wedding and all. And Solar will probably feel like he's on cloud 9 since now his family is safe... or at least he thinks.

After a few months (maybe 2 or 3), right at Earth and Monty's wedding, probably at the most dramatic part of the wedding, Creator and Rez will show up.

Creator will probably walk in slow clapping and laughing and attack the wedding. Everyone will be shocked and horrified, especially Solar cause he saw him die! He killed him himself! A huge fight will break out and this might result in a death or two

*Cough!* Monty!*Cough!*Maybe Jack or Solar! *Cough!* Maybe one of the Astrals, too! *Cough!*

(Monty, Solar, Jack, please don't die.)

This is so evil, but I genuinely feel like this is something he would do. Let his kids think they're safe and then attack at the happiest points of their lives.

Theory 2# Into the storm

Creator wastes no time and attacks Sun, Moon, and Solar at the house immediately after Solar tells Sun and Moon he killed Creator. He's like "Are you sure about that?!"

Creator nearly kills Solar, but Sun or Jack attacks him. Saving Solar, but if it's Jack that saves him, Jack probably gets infected with more negative starpower, which will probably corrupt Jack and turn him into Dark Jack, and then since Creator failed to kill Solar he'll decide to go after Earth. He will confront Earth and Monty and while Monty is busy dealing with Dark Jack, Creator will basically give Earth a choice to come with him or die and Earth will basically tell Creator everything she's had on her mind and tell him to get lost and that's she's not afraid of him. Creator will then probably corrupt Earth cause of the negative starpower residue in her and turn her into Dark Earth or Kepler or whatever the heck he'd call her. And then dip. This will lead to Creator building an army to try and betray Cetus so he can become a god like how he wanted whil Sun, Moon, Monty, Solar, Lunar, and The Astrals will work together to find a way to save Jack and Earth and stop Ivanoff. (<- Still getting used to the fact that that's his last name)

But hey, this is just a theory....

A TSAMS THEORY!

Thanks for reading!

So that's my theories/predictions let me know what you all think down in the comments.

[gummysunnybear]

"Bye everyone! Have a wonderful day!"

The DJ yelled out to the kids as they were leaving the area as it was already time for closing.

It had been a busy day for the large spider animatronics as he had to handle a lot more kids then usual... Fazbear has been pushing that a lot more on them in the past few days.

The huge music man model sighed, exhausted from his performance, regretting staying up so late with his dear lion...

"That's should be all of them... Now it's time to go recharge. I hope the mini's are resting after that... Especially Melody, poor girl had kids pulling on her arms like a Freddy plush."

DJ Music Man said to himself as he went back inside his tunnels, going through the large labyrinth of circular tunnels before reaching his resting area that he had made in the past few years of working for Fazbear.

The place was lit up star and flower string lights, radiating a soft pastel glow in the room, in the far right corner was a pile of blankets and pillows where DJ, the mini's and Leo rested and on the left side was a TV where he would play videogames with his friends.

On the walls were little drawings made by the various children who visited.

That was probably his favorite part about the room...

DJ then turned into his more smaller and humanoid form, courtesy of his best friend Roxanne, and was about to plop down on the blanket pile like before hearing something.

"Hello Music man..."

DJ looked behind him to see who spoke, only too see an worm like figure, a mass of black and purple swirling around his face.

The now smaller and humanoid DJ didn't know what to do...

"Um... Who are you?"

He asked, wondering what the hell was that thing doing in his area... Could it be a guest who got left behind? But he doesn't recognize him on his database...

"Oh apologies for not introducing myself first, although I do believe you've heard of me from you're partner.... My name is Rez."

Rez? Why did that name sound so familiar?

'Wait... Leo mentioned- Oh no...'

"I believe by you're face that you do know me..."

"Um yes... I kinda do... I'm assuming you're a... Dark star entity?"

DJ looked around the room, wondering what to do... He couldn't just call for Leo otherwise this thing would just attack him...

"Why yes! You are certainly more smarter then I thought! Guess Leo does have some good taste..."

Rez murmured, as he slithered closer to the nervous DJ.

This was certainly not how DJ wanted his day too go...

"I don't know what you want or if you want anything but can you please just leave... I had a really busy day and honestly, I don't think I have enough battery or energy to deal with this!"

DJ exclaimed as he tried to back away from the dark star entity, trying not to let his eyes off of him like some weeping angel.

Rez chuckled as he was already in front of the animatronic, seeming to look up at him before speaking.

"Oh but I think you still do have some energy for a short chat... Specifically about you're knowledge of dark star power!"

"My knowledge of it?"

DJ questioned as Rez circled around him like a shark and it's prey.

"Why yes... I know that Leo must've told you some things of it... So tell me what you know about it."

This was starting to get to a point where DJ was considering that he should just punch the entity but at the same time no as he didn't know what it could to him...

"Well I know that it's infected many planets... And that it can control people... Like how it did with Jack, Solar's son."

"Mhm... And what else?"

'What else? Motherfucker that's all I know!' DJ thought, already wanting this too end.

"That's all I know... And that it was created by... Cetus? If I remember..."

(I'll write pt 2 tomorrow! DJ's gonna get really sassy! I promise!)

Oooo

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Would things change at all if Jacob and the other rez kids also attended Forks?

Caveat

They didn't and wouldn't.

La Push is far enough away from Forks that it's not the first choice to send kids to (and that's not even getting to reservation vs. not reservation politics). Not to mention that even if they were there, Billy is told beforehand the Cullens are coming and in terror/thinking he can't say no says "ok" and the tribe then prays that the Cullens will respect the treaty. It works out that the Cullens do but ah... Edward considered breaking it very seriously a few times. So glad you didn't do that, Edward.

Regardless, Forks, which is not in the treaty, would then be somewhere they'd absolutely pull everyone out of because the demons go to that school.

Remember they don't go to the Forks hospital anymore because Carlisle Cullen is in the building. People could die because of this decision, perhaps they did in canon, but to them it's not worth the risk of crossing paths with the vampire who could at the drop of a hat decide to eat the entire town of Forks and the entire reservation.

Even Jacob, who doesn't believe the superstitions, has been told them and abides them for the most part (granted he has little reason to seek out the Cullens or go to the hospital, and he does tell Bella things he knows he's not supposed to fairly easily, but we still get the feeling it's extremely ingrained in the res).

You do not fuck with the Cullens, go near them, even look at them.

Would Things Change?

I have to cop out, I'm sorry, this would just never happen.

If they had been in that school, they would leave, and Jacob would instead be telling Bella all about that awkward time where everyone from the rez transferred to a different school because the Cullens moved there.

[todoslosdiasdemivida]

// I did, in fact, play some Overwatch. To my regret. 😂

The best of the worst: it was Junkertown. I was Zenyatta and had both the highest heals on my team and the highest kill count across both mine and the enemy team's board up until the very end, which only changed for the reason I will explain. If it says anything, I ended up getting Play of the Game for killing Junkrat and then killing Mercy who succeeded in rez'ing him, and then killing Junkrat again. I want us to all contemplate for a moment that that was the play of the game, despite there being a Doomfist, Bastion/76, Junkrat, and Ashe on the other team.

The shift: I was taking out the Doomfist with enough regularity that he specifically targeted only me with his ult, I avoided the instant kill-shot, and he had to charge punch me to finish the job. Then, both he and Ashe made it their mission in life at the end of the match to try to keep me from being able to leave spawn.

Meanwhile, my team continued to let the enemy Mercy rez everyone who was killed every time rez recharged and for the Ashe to have free reign during my respawn times until I returned, and she had to stop me again from being a Menace.

Can I just take a moment to say that Zenyatta should never, at any point on a team with two DPS, ever have the most number of kills, let alone be in the double digits and have to be focused by the enemy team while the DPS are all sitting in the single digits? 😂

On a funnier and less frustrating note, but a similar turn of events, during a match earlier today, I hassled the hell out of a Reaper.

To set the scene, I tend to linger at the back of whatever battlefield, near cover, both for visibility of the whole team and field, as well as easy retreat behind cover when I need to heal. Well, this poor Reaper apparently never picked up on that and kept not Shadow-stepping far enough back for me to not hear him and literally see him walk out in front of where I was, while he was trying to flank my team. I swear that half of my kills that match were just him. 😂

After the first couple, he started trying to focus me, but I kept hearing him and would blast him down before he could get in range. [Full disclosure, he did manage to get me once or twice.] And finally, he was able to time it right during a reload to land in with the team and pop his ult, only for me to pop "✨EXPERIENCE FESTIVITY!✨"—because I had been waiting on him to try it—and I got him as soon as my ult ended. 🤣

So, basically, I've just been periodically laughing today about Zenyatta just absolutely ruining Reaper's day and how MAD Gabe would be. And now, despite the irritation, I am also just imagining Zenyatta generally being a terror, especially considering I make it my mission in life, where the game is concerned, to out-snipe all snipers, ESPECIALLY Widowmakers. 😂 Zenyatta takes snipers very personally. 😂

[robotstrategy]

Recalled • Part 5 • 38 - Lev

Previous • Series Masterlist • Part 5 Masterlist • Next

Lev sits out on the front porch, spreading his arms wide so that Lawu may crawl on them. By now, it seems like Connor has been radio silent for a year. There’s no secret internet stuff dumb enough for him to figure out, no letters from cousin Carl. At this point, Lev would have actually forgotten about Connor if Elina hadn’t been there to ask him if he’d heard anything. 

“Do you think he died?” Lev asks his Kinkajou, Lawu lays himself down, nestling into Lev’s arm.

“I don’t want to think about it either.” 

A gust of wind comes in, it smacks Lev’s earpiece against his cheek, and he winces a little before the pain disappears. Many of the qualities he had to learn on the Rez were humility, forgiveness, and patience. Yet it seems like his patience might be running out soon. Before, he would have stayed here peacefully, spending the rest of his days with Kele and the others. But after a while, it seemed like he would always end up in Connor's net somehow. So why not now? Why won’t something come along and face him back in Connor’s direction? Lev sets the sleeping Lawu back in his little house before heading back inside. Every once in a while Lev opens the door to Wil’s room, wondering if somehow his spirit is still in there. Lev thinks Wil would’ve had something to tell him, maybe even Una, but both of them are gone now. Lev always found it funny that Una went to Molokaï with Cam, he supposes it takes two non-clinical minds to help raise 50 Rewinds.

Lev sits down in his room, beading together an ornate necklace for Elina. Somedays Lev likes to think he was born a Tashi’ne, to imagine himself as a young boy running around the Rez. But that’s not how the story goes, unfortunately, Lev was raised for death and had to escape it. Many times he doesn’t think he did, but here he is, breathing, hearing, sitting, and beading together a necklace. After a while, Lev turns to his alarm clock and plays around with it until he finds the radio button. It always first tunes into Arápache’s own radio station before Lev can start upping or lowering the signal. Today Lev looks for a certain radio station, he starts cranking the knob on the back of the radio. It’s a flutter of static between the radio from the Arápache to the Hopi and any other tribe in the surrounding area. Advertisements about upcoming Powwows, they’re quite fun actually, seeing all the Chancefolk’s interesting regalia as they all dance competitively.

Lev knows he’ll get the right radio station, he’s done it before, Hayden’s radio show somehow can get to almost anyone in the world. Even in dictatorships, it will somehow sneak in.

After a while, he hits a radio station playing ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin.’ By Frank Sinatra, a clear sign he’s tuned the radio correctly.

Lev puts the clock back down, continuing his beading, soon enough the music dies down into Hayden’s radio jingle.

“Good afternoon everyone, welcome back! And if you’re new here, Hi! I’m Hayden! Here we talk about information about unwinding around the world. Today we have big news! I’ve just gotten info that Mexico and Hawaii have vetoed the Unwind Bill, and South America is currently considering if they’ll vote back in the bill, I hope they don’t. Unfortunately, we’re still seeing a big influx of American parents travelling with juveniles to Canada. It seems like until we cut off that hydra head it’ll keep swallowing kids.”

Lev pauses what he’s doing for a moment, people are still travelling to Canada to get their children unwound. Lev wonders if even when Canada vetoes the bill will people even stop? Maybe they’ll just find another place to keep the process going. Seems like all that protesting, all that self-immolation, it does nothing. Even when unwinding is over, people will find ways to get it done. If parents aren’t the ones paying shady people, then there’ll be millions of folktales teaching not to go out at night or a part pirate might steal you away. 

Lev has been mostly drowning in his thoughts until something Hayden says piques his interest.

“So, there’s this kid Connor knew who now lives on a reservation, his name is Lev? I’ve met him once in the graveyard, he’s the clapper who didn’t clap, there you go! That’s a better idea of him! Anyway, if someone can get in contact with him, or if he’s listening right now, I’d like to talk to him. I’ve got good news.” You can hear a smile in Hayden’s voice as the jingle drowns it out back into music.

Is this it? Did somebody finally find Connor? Lev picks up his phone, careful not to put any typos into the search bar. He rapidly goes through Hayden’s website and dials up the phone number. There are a few empty rings before someone picks up.

“Hello, you’ve reached Hayden Upchurch, h-” “DO YOU KNOW WHERE CONNOR IS?”

There’s a giggle on the other end of the line. “You’re Lev aren’t you?”

Lev blushes out of embarrassment, “Yes, this is about Connor right?”

“Yup, tried to keep it vague enough. I’d hoped you’d be more interested in the news than the first person I told.”

“Who was that?”

“I don’t think you’d know him, but he knew Connor, maybe a little too much. They say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer!”

Lev cringes. “So do you know where Connor is or are you just going to do this?”

“Not the small talker? I get it. I’ve found Connor in Marseille, France, he goes by Robert Saltries now.”

“Have you been talking to him?”

“No, I’d get charged for that, and by the looks of it Robert is running an unwind safe house, I wouldn’t want to pull any attention towards him.”

“Right, it’s just, that I feel abandoned, like I’m his friend, and I wasn’t told anything about where he was going.”

“I feel that too, I’m as much of Robert’s friend as you are, and I was never told anything either.”

“You hacked into something to find him didn’t you?”

“A school’s system, it felt wrong, really wrong.”

“I guess he hid himself very well.”

“I guess he did.”

Lev pauses, “If anything ever comes up, you’ll tell me about it, won’t you?” 

“Of course!”

“Goodbye, Hayden.”

“Goodbye, Lev.”

And that’s it, that’s all, Lev is no closer to seeing Connor, but at least he knows he’s alive under a different name. Lev gets back to beading the necklace for Elina like nothing ever happened.

[mjparkerwriting]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thanks to @squarebracket-trick for tagging me!

Rules: Answer the questions as yourself or as an OC of your choice. Some people have done both which is cool.

Gently tagging (I'm sorry if you've been tagged in this already): @sarahlizziewrites @distinguishedgentlemanswritings @ryns-ramblings @btranscrolls @harps-for-days @nightlylaments @alnaperera @kckramer @thewardenofwinter @karolinarodrigueswrites @kaiarchives @the-stray-storyteller @maiwritesbooks @inkspellangel @cabaretofwords

Using Seth, one of the main POV characters in my WIP.

Are you named after anyone?

Not that I know of. I've never thought to ask and no one has said anything about it.

[Both of my parents' grandmothers had the same name so mine is just a version of that. My middle name is a combination of my parents' mothers' middle names.]

2. When was the last time you cried?

I'm not gonna pretend like I'm some macho man dripping with bravado. I cried in that swamp. Before that, I cried in my bed because...well, for reasons. It happens.

[LMAO just cried like two days ago. It will happen again.]

3. Do you have kids?

I'm literally 20 years old. A child would ruin everything for me.

[I am a 24-year-old teenage girl. One day I'd love to, but today is not that day.]

4. Do you use sarcasm?

No. (Note: That was sarcasm)

[I can't not use sarcasm. It's a problem.]

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their hair. How it's styled. How clean it is. How neat it is. Hair is important in my culture. Mine probably looks like shit now, but usually, I take good care of it.

[Clothes and shoes. I'm big on fashion. I love collecting shoes and trying new styles. I'm always curious about other people's styles.]

6. What's your eye color?

Brown. Dark, dark brown.

[Also dark, dark brown.]

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I love movies. I make movies. I don't think you can compare the two, though. Scary movies are a different form of art that not everyone gets. It's more than just the scare. It's the tropes. The characters. The score. I will say that I don't always like a happy ending, so I guess my answer is scary movies.

[I love scary movies. BUT, I'm a sap and I cry at almost everything, so a good happy ending is always nice, too.]

8. Any special talents?

Can it truly be considered special, if I'm good at everything I do?

[I don't know. I like to bake cookies lol. Not to be that person, but I don't know if I have a special talent. I've done a lot of different things, so maybe just a Jack of All (a few) Trades.]

9. Where were you born?

Oklahoma. In a hospital close to the rez.

[I'm from the US.]

10. What are your hobbies?

Watching movies. Making movies. Reading.

[Besides reading and writing, I like collecting things and watching movies and TV. I don't know if this is a hobby, but I like trying new foods.]

11. Have you any pets?

I mean, there's the rez dogs. That's about it.

[I have a cat <3]

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played basketball in high school.

[I played basketball for about 4-5 years. I used to fence and I was in marching band (it's a sport. don't start).]

13. How tall are you?

Are you trying to be funny? Haha, we get it. I'm not tall.

[5'6, but I wish I was just a few inches taller. Just 2 inches would be nice.]

14. Favorite subject in school?

Debate, of course. After that, probably Psychology.

[English. Creative Writing. History.]

15. Dream job?

Movie director and/or producer would be a dream, but we have to be realistic here. I'm getting a degree in PoliSci so I can have a real job that'll pay real bills.

[I've wanted to be a teacher since I was like 16 and I'm doing that now, but of course, a writer. I think I can do both, so I'm kinda living the dream?]

[cryptid-killjoy]

Date?

Okay, that was cute. Too cute coming out of Elsa's mouth. It wasn't that it couldn't be a date it was just his mind hadn't thought in that direction due to the circumstances. He'd thought it was a pretty obvious joke when he had said he knew how to treat a lady by giving her a time with funerals and tetanus shots. Maybe he was flirting? He didn't know. It was just his personality. He didn't tend to analyze himself so much. He was watching her though. She was being ever so evasive after. It might have been the most adorable thing he'd ever seen on a grown woman.

"Still, I wouldn't want to land mediocre. I might have to consider stepping up. Maybe. I'll think about it. Feels like pressure. Didn't know I was getting challenged the day after, I might be up for it."

Yup. He went there. He was grinning too much. He had to playfully niggle her a little before moving on.

As for how old he was on the next topic and moving along, he started to lead the way to the old rope swing beyond the tree line. Something told him Elsa wouldn't be swinging on that either after the merry-go-round, but Koda still wanted to see his old stomping grounds. This was his time after all. "Oh, uh well I guess the official age was eight. After my father was killed. I don't know. I mean we still technically had our home here, but Mom was angry all the time. She started hanging out with Shan Yu around there. Everyone was angry all the time. I was angry all the time. Shan Yu promised to turn me when I got older and as a kid you think that's really cool. You want to be powerful, never get hurt like my father. Then I had Denahi telling me no. Mom eventually moved us in with Coven. She wasn't going to have anyone tell her how to raise her kid I guess. I was a kid. I thought I got my way. Then the training with Shan Yu started."

"Not like I regret any of my skills now, but looking back, the discipline, it was hard on a kid. I can't even explain what he put me through."

And just like that with a simple question of when did he leave he somehow opened up just a little more of himself again.

"My grandparents threatened to sue for grandparents' rights legally and to avoid court drama she granted them once a month visit and I'd come back for this. After my grandparents passed my visits grew less and less. Denahi tried to keep her welcomed because I was young I'd always say if my mother isn't welcome, I am not welcome. Now you see a little more why there's a little bad blood concerning me and my mothers being buried here. We've had our ups and downs here."

Then as he was opening up the walk did too. It wasn't just a rope swing. It was a child's imagination land. It began to look like any teen wasteland, a wore out half pipe with grass overgrown on the edges. There was spray paint everywhere. There was a lot of grotesque art and scribbling, random names, symbols, but there was also stylized art. Koda's face came alive and no more sad past came from his memories.

He started chattering away about the kids and all the adventures they had back there daring each other to do big tricks. He'd point to the remnants of paint he couldn't believe was still there like it was a time capsule from another world, another life, a different him. He talked a lot of outer space adventures right from his skateboard cockpit. He'd laugh unashamed every time he said something silly because that was the fun of being a kid. That was the fun of the rez. He couldn't do kid things with his Mom or Coven. The rez was his refuge.

"I'd pretend to get sucked into this black hole all the time." He laughed pointing through some work of art. "Oh the adventures I had in there."

Throwing up was not exactly Elsa’s sort of thing. If she even could, she didn’t know. She sometimes sneezed out snowflakes, so who knows what would come up if her stomach was purged. Little snowmen? Icicles? Probably things that the Laveaus would find fascinating, but which she would feel deeply humiliated about. Her already white skin turned all the more pale at the thought.

“I think that’s a badge I would rather go without,” She said in that Elsa-like way. As if it was a real badge and not just an expression.

But thankfully, he thought of something else to do. Something she’d be a lot more comfortable with, as she would have second thoughts about the merry-go-round.

She nodded, and would walk with him to check out the rope swing. That sounded a lot less nausea inducing. But as they walked she would remark, without thinking for once - “I’ve had worse dates.”

Then all at once her mind caught up with what she had said. Dates. Was this a date? Or was this still just her being here to support him. They had never established, and now the gears were turning inside of her head, wondering whether she should correct herself and say that she had worse trips, which was true, or if she should just stay calm and collected, and perhaps he would overlook what she had said.

She went with the latter to avoid being a stumbling mess.

“How old were you when you moved from here?” She asked, quick to move onto the next topic.

[of-snakes-and-men]

@fireteam-silent from here

Some injuries couldn't be healed quickly by the Light. A Guardian had two options at that point.

If time was of the essence or the wound slowly fatal, they could kill themself to allow their Ghost to Rez them in a fresh, healed state.

Or, if they could, they could heal the old fashioned way. Slowly over time. If out in the field, one could hope that someone would come across them to patch them up.

Something about killer herself never sat right with Khalom. It was frightening, in a way, and she only did it for the most extreme circumstances. Most of the time, she would opt for choice number two if she didn't need to be back in tip top shape in the next three seconds. Maybe Notts would patch her up, or a passing Guardian would find her slumped against the wall, holding her guts in.

The problem was, not everyone who could come across her had the best of intentions.

"MotherFUCKER!" Khalom swore and bit down on her lip as Shin wriggled his fingers across a deep slash on her back. It had been dealt by an Eliksni Arc staff, giving her the distinct cut of a sharp knife and the smell of electrified skin. "This is exactly why I s-said I didn't want your help...!" Dazed, cut up, and maybe a little delirious from blood loss, Khalom couldn't keep his hands at bay. Her paler-than-usual face had a green sheen to it from the glow of the Hive rune pin on her cloak.

Shin never expected to run into Khalom in such a state so soon. But happily, he stalked after her till she reached a safe spot. He would help... in time.

The scream of pain brought a wide grin to his face, just as the blood that covered his fingers. The pin kept the other safe, but nothing could hold him back from licking it off, one finger at a time.

Crouched over the Awoken, he took his sweet time.

“But you have it, so stop whining. Consider it bonding time.” Shin snickered, his laughter throwing him off balance. To not plant his face into Khalom’s back, he put his palm straight at the wound with all his weight.

[lis-likes-fics]

A Witch's Love | Chapter 2

Y/N watched alongside Alice painfully as Bella tried to walk in her heels. She'd told Alice that Bella wouldn't do so well in a battle against the shoes, but Alice insisted - and when Alice insist, you can't resist.

Bella looked down at her feet and stumbled a little, losing her balance in the heels. "You just have to break them in," Alice reassured.

"I've been breaking them in. For three days. Can I just go barefoot?" Bella asked.

Alice looked offended by that, "No, absolutely not."

Y/N turned to her, "Come on, Alice."

"Absolutely not," she repeated, "I did good for your wedding, didn't I?"

She turned to Bella, "See, she got me there."

Bella sighed, "Just thinking it's a little much, you know? The dress and the shoes, and all of this." She gestured over to where Carlisle and Jasper were carrying benches for the wedding.

Alice shook her head, "No, it's exactly enough. Tomorrow will be perfect."

Emmett came over with a long tree trunk, "Where do you want them, boss?"

"On the other side of the aisle," Alice told them, chiper in her tone.

Rosalie came up with a fat tree stump, "What aisle?"

"Does no one have vision?" Alice asked, walking over, annoyed with her helpers. Bella took off her heels, putting on her normal shoes.

Y/N smiled at her, "She may be a little much, but she knows what she's doing. The wedding will be great."

Bella nodded and sighed, "I know, it's just... What as it like...when you and Jasper married?"

She thought for a moment, looking over at where Alice was lecturing everyone about where everything went. He looked back at her, smiling and turning back to Alice.

Y/N smiled to herself and sighed, "If you're worried things will change, it will. For the better, though. It will seem like no thing's changed though. So don't worry about it, everything will turn out."

Bella nodded, she seemed to understand what she was saying - for the most part. Witches could be hard to understand sometimes.

Bella looked up, seeing Edward standing in the window, watching his family getting everything ready for tomorrow. Alice stepped forward, standing in front of Bella, "You. Go home and get lots of beauty sleep. That's an order."

Bella nodded, "Okay."

She walked away and Alice picked up the shoes, smiling as she walked away. Without turning, she spoke, "That's sweet."

"What?" Y/N asked, lifting a brow.

Alice shrugged, "What you said to Bella. About being married."

She nodded, "I do my best."

"I keep waiting for Cole to ask cause I've seen that he's been considering, but his mind always changes before it comes up," Alice said.

Y/N suggested, "Maybe it's because he knows you're looking into it. It's not 'popping the question' for nothing. Don't wait up on him to ask, do it yourself if you have to. Just, not too soon. Don't want to scare him or steal Bella and Edward's spotlight."

Alice chuckled, "Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Y/N."

"No problem," she responded, turning to walk away. Jasper set down a bench and headed over to Y/N. "How was time with Alice?"

Y/N laughed lightly at his joke, "Interesting."

"I can hear you!"

"Love you, Alice!" They both exclaimed to ward her off. She smirked at them and smiled when Cole came over to her.

"Where's Althea? Y/N asked, looking around for her daughter. Jasper chuckled lightly, "Bossing around the animals inside."

Y/N laughed, "A little Alice, I suppose."

"I heard that, too!" Alice yelled again.

"Go somewhere else!" Y/N told her. The others laughed at them. "I'm going to grab Althea and then sentence the others to dress rehearsals. I'll see you back at the Rez."

"Residence or reservation?" He questioned. They had started calling the Witch Residence "the Rez" for short, just like the wolves called the reservation. So things got a little confusing.

"Take your pick," she smiled.

Jaaper chuckled, "Okay. And bachelor party's tonight, I hope you've got the kids."

"I can handle the kids in my sleep," she laughed, "And this bachelor party, will there be strippers?"

Jasper laughed, "No, just some mountain lions, a few bears."

"Oh, I've got some competition then. I'm getting jealous," she joked, "I'll see you later." He kissed her and she walked away to get Althea.

~

"Althea, where are you hiding?" Y/N called out. She was playing Hide and Seek with everyone- with the exception of Levi, who was at the bachelor party.

Althea was hiding while everyone went to find her. They found that she was strangely good at hiding.

Eileen passed Y/N, "You find her yet?"

She shook her head with a chuckle, "No, but I think I know where she's hiding. I can't hear anything."

"Where are the kits? I can't find them," Freya mumbled as she searched the house for Noel, Paige, and Bex.

Y/N smiled and snapped her fingers, a purple glow surrounding her hand. She balled her fists and pulled them apart, a dimensional pocket opening in front of her.

She always liked opening it because of its uniqueness. It was like it had no color and every color imaginable. It was hard to explain but fascinating to see.

She thrust both hands in the pocket and pulled out Althea, "Why do you keep going in there?"

"It's fun," she giggled. There were little hips from in the void, "Hey!"

"We're in here, too!"

"Take us out!"

Freya grumbled, "Bex, Paige, Noel! What are you doing in there?" She jumped in, disappearing in the pocket before jumping back out with her kids in her grasp.

They giggled and ran as soon as their feet were on the ground. "Get back here!" She called, chasing after the kits.

Y/N shook her head and closed the pocket with a snap of her fingers. "You gotta stop hiding in there or you'll get lost," Mariah smiled at her, tapping her nose.

Y/N set her on the floor and Althea shrugged again, "Can we play again?"

Y/N looked at the time and shook her head, "No, you gotta get to bed. It's a big day tomorrow."

She pouted, "Aw, do I have to so soon?"

She nodded and bent down to her level, "'Fraid so. How can you be the flower girl of you're sleeping?"

She sighed and put her hands on her hips, "Okay." She held her arms out for her and Y/N picked her up again, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Mariah and Eileen kissed her on the forehead. Celene came running in from the other room, struggling to get in the room because Cooper was sulking again, his arms wrapped around her leg as she dragged behind her.

"Can you tell this dufus to stop being such a baby?" Freya grumbled, biting his ear to try and get him off of her, but he wouldn't budge.

"Cooper, let me go. If this is how you act when she's gone for an hour, I can't imagine what it will be like the first time she has to actually leave you home and go somewhere herself," Celene said, turning to grip her leg and pull it from his grasp.

He looked up at her then, his jaw dropping slightly, "That will happen?!"

She grumbled, "Damn familiars are so possessive."

Althea giggled, "She said a bad word!"

Celene playfully covered her mouth and continued to drag a now whining bear. He was pitiful when Charlie wasn't around.

Celene kissed Althea's cheek, "Night, little witch."

She giggled, "Nighty."

Y/N smiled and bent down to Cooper, patting his head, "You'll be fine. Charlie's coming back in a few minutes. She was only out because Alice needed her for a moment. You need to bear up."

He whined, "But we used to do everything together! Then she got older because of the imprinting and started hanging out with Seth more than me."

Y/N shook her head, "That's what happens, Coop. Your witch is going to get older. There's one thing that won't change that you can count on, though."

He looked up at her with his big eyes. She booped his nose, "She'll always be your witch, and you will always be her best friend."

He huffed and thought about it, finally deciding to let Celene go so he could stand, "I guess..."

"Thank you," she told him. She then turned to Althea, "Now, bedtime."

She went up the stairs with Althea and put her in bed. She tucked her in and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my little witch. I'll see you in the morning with Daddy."

"Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, honey," she went to leave when Althea spoke, "Mommy, is Daddy gonna come kiss me goodnight?"

"He will when he gets back," she assured her, "But only if you go to sleep."

She smiled, "I love you."

"I love you, too," Y/N said, turning off the light and slowly closing the door. She went to the room next to Althea's to check on Emrys to see if he was still asleep.

When she saw him sleeping in his crib, she smiled and went back downstairs.

"Nice job with Cooper," Celene told her, "I tried to tell him that but he just kept whining. You'd think he'd be tough for a bear."

She laughed, "Yeah, well, Cooper's a big baby."

The door opened and Charlie came through, running a hand through her hair. "Hey, Char," you all greeted.

She smiled and waved. Cooper's head popped out of the other room and his tiny tail started wagging. He ran over to Charlie, "You took so long!"

"Look who's not sleeping," she giggled, petting his head, "Sorry for leaving you here, Coop. You just shed so much now, I was going to brush you out when I got back."

"He was sulking the whole time. He's a big baby," Mariah commented.

Charlie laughed and pet the heart-shaped mark on his nose, "He's a lovable baby."

He huffed and went with her to get his brush so she could brush out his fur.

Y/N sat down and said, "Hey, while you do that, I need to talk to everyone."

"Yeah, what's up?" Eileen asked, sitting on the couch.

"Shouldn't we wait for Levi?" Celene pointed out.

Y/N thought before shaking her head, "No, he should be fine."

Everyone sat down. Charlie had Cooper in her lap, Merida and Camille were on the windowsill. Eileen had Ella in her lap, petting the cat gently while Freya hopped in Y/N's lap and enjoyed being pet.

She started, "A witch from a coven in Wyoming reached out to us this morning."

"There's a coven in Wyoming? We haven't heard of them," Celene pointed out.

She nodded, "Neither have I. The letter was directed to me, asking for help. They have some sort of threat where they are and want my help."

"Are you going?" Eileen asked.

Y/N nodded, "Yes, we're the closest coven to Wyoming and it's part of my job to help witches who need it. Jasper and I head out the morning after the wedding. Eileen, Mariah, we're bringing you both along."

They nodded and Celene spoke, "What of us?"

"You, Charlie, and Levi will stay here. We still need to keep witches here in case anything happens in our absence. Charlie's still a little too young to come with, this could turn out bad and I don't want to risk it.

"Celene, I'm leaving you in charge. The kids are staying here as well. I don't know how long we'll be gone, hopefully, it will only be a week. I'll do daily check-ins to make sure everything's okay."

They nodded in understanding. "Are you sure you don't need anyone else to go with you? You can take Levi, I can look after Em and Thea."

She smiled, "Thank you, Celee, but we should be okay. If we need any help, I'll send a message immediately."

She was satisfied with that answer. With the urgent things out of the way, everyone was able to relax and converse before going to bed. Levi was back with Jasper at around one in the morning, laughing and joking with him.

Y/N briefed him on what was going to happen and then he went off to bed. Jasper smiled at her, his arms on her waist. He kissed her softly, "Sorry to keep you waiting, darlin'."

She smiled, "It was no problem." She kissed him again and then told him, "Althea wanted you to kiss her goodnight. Then maybe you and I can go kiss goodnight after."

He smirked, "I like the sound of that."

[1237tnb]

BELLA AND JACOB'S BULLSHIT RELATIONSHIP.

Forgive me for anything, I spell wrong.

I don't consider myself to be a woke person. I usually give people the grace of being people, making mistakes, learning and growing from them.

However, since it's a few months from 2022, I do want to discuss how depressing Eurocentric, oppressive and painfully cliche Twiligut was. Specifically, Bella and Jacob's relationship.

I, for, one was never team Jacob. I was team Edward all day everyday. By the end of the second book of Breaking Dawn, Jacob was my new favorite character and I was a hard-core Blackwater shipper.

So, let's breakdown Bella and Jacob's relationship. It began as a toxic friendship in New Moon in which one friend, Jacob was hard-core simping for his friend Bella who was not simpibg for him. It's not an ideal friendship, but it is a part of growing up and learning about love, so no biggie.

Bella and Jacob's relationship becomes offensively oppressive and one sided in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn once Jacob imprints on Renesmee.

Bella was always a selfish character. She was selfish for wanting to have her cake and eat it to. She was selfish for wanting to keep Jacob around, because he was always there for her, while knowing that she was always going to choose Edward. If she was a good friend, she would have put her own feelings aside and cut Jacob off for good.

So, how does Stephanie Meyers write around this? She has Jacob imprint on Renesmee. She has Jacob imprint on the very type of dangerous creature that his pack was sworn to protect the Quilite people from.

And it's not as though Renesmee herself is dangerous, she is not. It's that both her existence and the Cullen's close proximity to La Push places these Native American tribes on the Rez in the way of constant danger.

However, according to Alice's vision in the 5th movie, Jacob is so blindly in love (pedophilia and grooming) with and enslaved to this hybrid infant that he, a Native American man, would allow his entire village, tribe, pack, and family to be destroyed to save one little white baby.

Now, do not get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with saving Caucasian people in ordinary circumstances. The issue was that Jacob was expected to give up everything ans betray everyone for the safety of one infant simply because his white female best friend asked him to, even though she would never give him the same consideration.

In Alice's vision, when Jacob's pack who so loyally followed him is being slaughtered, Leah cries out for help from her alpha after Seth is killed and Jacob who doesn't fight at all, keeps running with Renesmee in hand. He doesn't turn around to help Leah and protect the village from the Voltaire. He just leaves.

Meanwhile, all of his fellow pack members who are there and Sam's pack members are present and fighting truly to awe there families and ancestral homes.

In the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, Jacob was essentially reduced to the benevolent slave. His will power is completely removed so that he can be in service to the main character, and he, a POC, is reduced to nothing more than a large guard dog that comes when called. Even the Voltaire picked up on this and were astute in their observation.

The observation that the wolf pack was merely a tool that would gain nothing from fighting ans potentially loose everything. However, the wolf packs themselves were disposable for the sake of saving Renesmee.

So, who is to blame for this? Not Edward, not the Cullens, not Jacob, nor Sam, and not Renesmee.

The only people to blame for this are Stephanie Meyers for writing a story in which she boiled down an entire group of people's existence to nothing more than a utilitarian use.

And Bella Swan. Bella Swan may be a good wife to Edward, but she was always a shitty friend to Jacob. She was a bad friend to Jacob long before he even turned into a wolf. She weaponized his love for her time and time again to get her way at Jacob's expense. Then, she had the audacity to ask Jaocb to betray his entire family for her best interest.

Stephanie Meyer's essentially castrated and chained the most powerful wolf of the Quilite people by withholding and weaponizing sex. Though, she did it in a more censored way. This was not an uncommon way European settlers once colonized and enslaved. In the islands. Overseers used to choose the largest, most powerful slave who the other slaves respected and listened to the most. They would then tie him to a post and rape him violently in front of all of his people, in order to emasculat him and gain control of the whole group.

Now, you might say that Breaking Dawn is different, but let's play Breaking Dawn out a few years.

The Cullens move back to Alaska. Jacob can't be without Renesmee so he has no choice but to go with them. However, he can't stand the smell of the vampires, so instead of living inside the Cullens' Manor with dignity, he has to sleep outside like a dog or in some shed far off in the woods.

All, the while, he has no choice but to forfeit his own responsibilities of protecting his people, so that he can instead forever protect the Cullens, never being allowed to grow old and die.

[askmerriauthor]

Pokemon Violet - Initial Thoughts

Just started playing Pokemon Violet; I was always planning on picking it up in the first place despite not pre-ordering. All the talk of its apparently glitchy nature was disheartening, but I wanted to give it a fair shake all the same. A lot of the time such reports get overblown, after all. I've seen people shriek about a game being unplayable if it drops from 60 frames per second to 59 in a heavy load zone, after all.

That said? After going in with simultaneously low expectations and a giving it a lot of slack?

I'd consider what I've seen so far to be a genuinely impressive feat for an amateur game dev's tech demo. But for a full release? Let alone from a major studio with as much weight behind it as the Pokemon franchise carries? This game is embarrassingly bad.

Literally the very first second of game play and there's a major graphical glitch. The game opens showing off the fancy academy your character will be attending, but it loads in a low-rez stand-in model that snaps into the high-rez version full on screen. During the opening cut scene, characters blink into T-Poses as they load in and out.

As I walked my character out of their bedroom at the very beginning of actual controllable gameplay, the camera glitched and got stuck inside a wall, resulting in a total black-out screen that made me think my system had crashed. The colors of your character's hair, skin, and make-up don't match between the menu screen where you select them and how they're displayed in the overworld's lighting. Said lighting also flickers around or changes entirely full on-screen with no transitions, jolting from one lighting set to another before the scene it's required for actually loads in. Textures out in the world - signs, terrain, the environment in general - are pixelated and blurry to the point of being distorted blobs. The frame rate is absolutely appalling, dropping and lagging down wildly for seemingly no reason, sometimes going as low as less than 10 frames per second. As I have my character walking around in their homeroom, the seated classmates and the books on their desk flicker rapidly into the floor and back up again. NPCs blink in and out of existence where they stand, or walk in jerky 3 frames per second flip book animations. Even as my own Player model is moving smoothly and without any visual issues in the same rendered scene. I'm honestly not even sure how the code could even make that happen; it'd be one thing if everyone in the room was moving in the same jarring, jerky way, but two or three characters are moving normally while the rest are jittering around.

When you go into shops to try on various clothing items, it takes about 10 seconds for your character model to load in and several more seconds to switch between clothing item previews. Even if the only difference is just a color swap. Keep in mind that this was instantaneous in previous games, including games back on the 3DS. If your hair style isn't compatible with hats, your character model just won't show up at all and you can't preview the item whatsoever. As you leave the shop, the character model is loaded in off the ground and jitter-pops into existence with a short drop.

Out in the overworld, different models load in at different distances from the Player and animate at different frame rates. For example, as I walk down the road just outside my house, NPCs load in (a low-poly stand-in version first that snaps into a higher-rez version with no smooth transition) after bushes do, but before trees (which also have the same jerky low-poly to high-poly snap transition). As I walk around, the game chugs down to a crawl at random, often requiring me to reset it entirely. I speak to a NPC out in the field and my game freezes, only to not freeze a second time after I restart the game and talk to them again. When you call out your partner Pokemon into the field to act solo (a core selling point of this game), there's no summoning animation or effects; they just abruptly pop into existence, which is doubly weird because there is both an animation and effect for when they return to their Pokeball or if you call them over from a distance. When I get into battles and there's a third character on the sidelines, the game camera gets stuck on them as it swings to and fro, resulting in the view spiraling wildly out of control for a few seconds. The camera glitches into the terrain seemingly at random or gets caught at weird angles, resulting in constant screen-blocking closeups of my Pokemon's back, or ignoring Player inputs to try and move the camera around.

This game is atrociously bad. I mean, holy shit, the problems it has are basic, fundamental flaws that NEVER should have made it past quality control in the first place. Things that are just basics in regards to coding and design. Especially when considering that earlier Pokemon titles on the Switch hardware (Sword/Shield and Pokemon Arceus) ran just fine by comparison. Previous generations on the 3DS are more stable and better performing than this.

And this is just the basic mechanics in the immediate starting area of the game. I haven't even gotten into design part of the game play experience. That's a whole other kettle of fish and its own post.

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - ten

you matter to me

Warnings: Drinking/drug use, Arguing, implying sexua! assau!t/tendencies

Authors Note: I have not added a tags list due to the trigger warnings, it will be back in the next update.

there are two types of tired i suppose

the one in need of dire sleep;

the other is a dire need of peace

Tallulah tried her best to fly under her family's radar leading up to Friday and she had her plan all set for her to go out to Port Angeles and still be home in time for her curfew. She had spending whatever time she wasn’t in school with Paul, helping him with little things around Uley's Bookstore, whether that be painting structures or filling shelves with books, Tallulah made sure on Thursday to tell him she would be hanging out with August and Rory on Friday so that if her dad asked him where she was he would be unknowingly involved in her lie.

After school on Friday, Tallulah quickly changed out of her school clothes into a striped, oversized crew neck and navy blue tennis skirt. Throwing her hair into a slicked back ponytail before rushing down the stairs, telling her dad she was off to see her friends, which wasn’t a lie, she just didn’t specify which ones.

Tallulah was practically shaking with excitement as she pulled out of her driveway, whether it be because she was excited to see her friends for the first time in 2 weeks or because she knew she wasn’t supposed to be seeing them, she was unsure of.

The drive to Port Angeles, Tally spent feeling unnerved. All the confidence had left her mind as she exited Forks. Something felt wrong. It’s not like she’s never snuck out and lied about her whereabouts before, the feeling felt different from the adrenaline that usually accompanied her. Out of the corner of her high she could see her phone light up, the incessant dinging of incoming text messages. She ignored them, telling herself it's because she knew better than to text and drive but mostly because she wasn’t prepared to read them. Had her plan already been ruined? Her phone ringing shook her from her thoughts, she grabbed it and checked the caller ID: Paul Lahote, its bright white letters. She wanted to let it ring, to just ignore him, but she couldn’t. Answering the phone and putting on her speakerphone, setting it on the passenger seat, she said as calmly as possible, “Hey, whats up?”, only to be met with an anger, “Where are you?”.

Tallulah was caught off guard by his tone of voice, she would have never expected it from him in the slightest.

“I’m just driving to August’s” she lied, she could hear someone telling Paul to calm down on the other end, with an angry laugh, he asked, “Oh yeah? Since when does she live off the rez?” before she could even respond, he continued, “Where are you really?”

“Why does it matter to you where I am?” she bit back, “Why does it matter?” he repeated her question, “Because you matter to me, Tallulah!” he all but yelled into the phone before the sound of the phone being dropped rang out into her silent car. She could hear the background commotion, but nothing was coherent to her as she was still trying to process what he had said.

“Tallulah?” a feminine voice rang through, “It’s Emily. Where are you, sweetie?” she asked calmly despite the audible commotion that had just occurred on her end of the phone. She wanted to lie again. It’s what she really wanted, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. “Port Angeles,” Tallulah said quickly before reaching over and hitting the end call before Emily could ask any more questions knowing she wouldn’t be able to lie anymore.

Pulling into the parking lot of the club they were all meeting at, she could see her friends standing next to Xanders sleek black car that he had been gifted on his 16th birthday. She thought she would feel more excitement when seeing Lina, Kit and Xander for the first time in weeks but all she could feel was the ache in her chest, or maybe it was regret. Parking her car, Tallulah quickly got out, grabbing her bag and shoving her phone in it, the onslaught of text messages she had received remaining unread.

She could hear Linas squeals of excitement before both her feet had touched the ground and two pairs of arms wrapped her up in a group hug, “I’ve missed you guys so much” she said as Kit and Lina let her free, big grins on all three girls faces.

“What about me?” a deep voice teased, she looked over to see Xander leaning against his car, smirking at her.

“Of course I missed you, just not as much as them.” she joked, making her way over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug before kissing his cheek as she let him go. “You’re a lot harder to replace than I thought you would be.”Tallulah said, earning her a scoff from him, “You would never want to replace me.” Xander spoke in all seriousness, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Everything was just like she left it, and she loved that. The group of friends got into the building no problem, the perks of looking older than you are, Tallulah thought to herself.

Lina and Kit went to get drinks for everyone while Xander and Tallulah found an empty booth, his arm never leaving her shoulders. They sat beside each other in the booth and she looked up towards him as he said, “I have something for you.”

She furrowed her brows, she could barely remember the last time he had given her something that wasn’t a holiday or a birthday, “You did?” she asked to which he nodded his head, digging into his jeans pocket, he pulled out a slick, thin grey rectangle. “Li said you dad tossed yours. Hide it better this time, yeah.” tallulah nodded her head in agreement before taking it from his hand, but if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t feel the need to have one anymore. She had no cravings for it, and no stressors that made her even want to use it, it would just end up collecting dust somewhere in her room until she could find an excuse to use it.

“I missed you too, y’know.” he said with a toothy grin, “Nothings been the same without you.” Tallulah smiled at that,glad to know her friends weren’t doing better than she was with the sudden change.

Lina and Kit found their table, four drinks with them, placing one in front of Xander and one in front of Tallulah, “In celebration of the crew being back together,”Lina said with a big smile on her face. Tallulah knew she shouldn’t drink considering she was driving but sipping the crisp alcohol would at least keep her friends off her case, so that's what she did for the next thirty minutes as they all caught up.

Before she knew it, Kit was pulling out onto the dance floor to dance with her and anyone else they could find. The music was loud and the adrenaline was pumping. She felt hands on her waist as someone came up behind her, her hips swaying with the music, she turned her body towards the person holding her firmly, turning to see Xander, she smiled brightly wrapping her arms around his neck, he bent his head down and said in to her ear, over the loud music, “You should come back with us tonight, you can crash at my place.”

Tallulah shook her head, “My dad would literally kill me, Xan.” he laughed nonchalantly, and she became very aware of how close their bodies were, “It’ll be fine, Luie, live a little. I really want you to.” he wanted her to, she thought to herself, looking up at him. He never tells her what he wants, he just does it. “I can't,” she said while standing on her tippy toes to say it into his ear, before she could flatten her feet he had turned his head and pressed his lips to hers, in a rushed, sloppy kiss. Much like the ones they had shared many times before. He pulled away first, “Xan, that's not gonna change my mind.”

He pouted like a little kid about to throw a tantrum, “But I’ve missed you so much and we don’t even know when we will be able to see each other again” he rationed to her, and Tallulah just shook her head, it’s not that she didn’t want to, it's just that this is how they always were together. One minute all over each other they next not speaking, “I haven’t even heard from you in the past two weeks besides that one phone call”

Xander rolled his eyes at her statement, “I can’t spend every waking moment talking to you, Luie, just relax,” he said. Before she could even respond his lips were on hers again, but all she could think about was how cold he felt. Not abnormally cold, just cold. It was uncomfortable.

Pulling back, she said, “We should go find the others,” to which Xander shook his head, “Come on, I haven’t seen you for weeks,” his hands were firm on her arms holding her in place as he leaned in again. Turning her head, his lips connected with her cheek. Now he was pulling back, taking a deep breath, trying not to lose his cool with her, “Really, Luie, you’re doing this again?”

“Doing what again? Is it such a crime that I don’t want to makeout with you in some dinghy club?” she asked him, annoyance laced in her tone. He shook his head, his shaggy hair falling in front of his face, “You always do this!” he exclaimed, “You can’t just act the way you have been all night, and then turn around and say never mind.”

Tallulah looked at him like he was out of his mind, “Yes, I can, Xan. And I am.” she said, standing her ground with him. “But Luie,” That fucking nickname, she thought to herself, “We don’t know when the next time we will see eachother is,” He used the same excuse as before. His hand was now on her lower back, holding her flush against him, “Stop, Xan.'' She tried to push him away, but with the awkward angle of her arms she found it hard. “You’ve always liked this, Luie,”he whispered in her ear, his lips brushed up against it as he spoke, “Get off!” she shoved at him, and before she knew it, he was being yanked away from her. Taking a few steps back to steady herself, she didn’t recognize the boy who had pulled Xander and as he took a step towards her, asking her if she was okay, she took a step back. Blood was pounding in her ears, lookin at Xanders retreating figure, no doubt going to find Lina.

A hand rested on her shoulder, the comforting warmth of it gave away who it was before she had even turned to look at him. Paul. Once she had turned to him she wrapped her arms around his waist, wanting nothing more than to feel the safety of the heat emitting off him. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.” She spoke quickly, and shakily. His arms encircled her, one on her back, the other in her hair, holding her head to his chest, holding her to him, “It’s okay. You’re okay.” he murmured to her softly.

“Embry, you take my car. I’ll drive her home.” Tallulah heard Paul saying, not lifting her head away from his chest. Embry. That must’ve been the boy's name who had pulled Xander away from her. She twisted her head and gave him a grateful smile as Paul gave him his keys before looking up at Paul, who was looking down at her. She could see the worry lines near his eyes and wanted nothing more than to smooth them out with the pads of her fingers. “Alright, let’s go.” his tone was serious, and she knew he was mad at her but trying really hard not to let it show given the circumstances.

“I need to tell my friends.” she spoke to him as if she was walking on thin ice, which she was.

“That guy-” Tallulah cut him off before he could finish what he was saying, “Not him, Lina and Kit..” she reassured as she let go of him, but he held onto her hand tightly, not wanting her to get lost in the sea of people.

It wasn’t hard to find Lina, who was subsequently also looking for Tallulah, “Hey! What happened with Xan, he stormed…” Lina trailed off, one look at Tallulah's face and she didn't need to put into words what had happened. She has seen this look on her best friend before. Like she’s just woken up from a terrible nightmare.“I’m going to head home, Li.” Tally spoke softly, she watched as Lina looked Paul up and down, trying to decide if Tal should go with him, “He’s cool, I promise.” she said while letting go of Paul's hand to wrap her best friend in a hug, “Call me when you get back to Seattle.” she said, before allowing Paul to lead her out of the dark club. She held onto his hand tightly, only letting go once they had reached her car, handing him the keys they both got in silently.

Tallulah only spoke up once they had left the parking lot and were heading towards the highway back to LaPush, “How did you know where to find me?” she asked softly, pulling her sleeves down over the palms of her hands.

“It’s a long story,” he said stoically. Tally furrowed her brows at his response, not satisfied with it at all, “We’ve got time.” she said looking at him, watching his face as he focused on the road.

“Well for one, there's only a few clubs in Port Angeles that allow minors to waltz through their doors.” he said angrily, but it didn’t feel like it was directed at her. “Please, don’t do this again, Tal.” he said looking directly at her, causing her to look away.

“I just wanted to see my friends.” she mumbled, looking down at her lap.

“You could’ve gotten hurt and no one would’ve known where you were because you told everyone you were somewhere that you weren’t.”he said, she could tell he was trying to keep his volume in check. To not yell at her like he had earlier in the evening.

“I was fine..” she pressed, which in her head, she was fine.

“Fine? You were fine?” he laughed. He really laughed, “That kid could've hurt you if Embry hadn’t gotten to you.”

Tallulah shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes. She didn’t want to cry, only children cry and she was not a child. “Xander wouldn’t have. I would’ve handled it, I always handle it.” she stressed, chewing the inside of her cheek as if it would keep her tears at bay.

It was obvious Paul was out of his depth here, so he let go of the steering wheel with his right hand, placing it in her lap. Letting her make the decision if she wanted to hold it or not, and she did. He had two small hands on either side of his large one, fingers clasped between. “You matter to me too, you know.” she said quietly, his voice from earlier in the evening replaying over in her head as it did all night long. He squeezed her hand as a response, letting the soft music from the radio takeover the silence between them.

[flowers-of-io]

asher for the accurate depictions meme!

1. Self-loathing and blame. It's so interesting to compare the ways Asher and Eris approach their respective situations. I agree with what @allteacher wrote about her, that she sort of sees herself mirrored in how others see her and is constantly proving them (herself) wrong, constantly reassuring herself that she hasn't gone mad and paranoid and lost in her purpose; but she never blames herself. I can't recall a single line of hers where she says, oh, I'm a terrible person, I did this abhorrent thing to myself and people are right in their judgement of me. She suffers from survivor's guilt and blames herself for things like not helping Omar or not saving Vell or trusting Toland, but interestingly enough she is quite reasonable in that guilt and doesn't blame herself abstractly. She knows what she had to do in order to survive and I believe she struggled with it for some time after returning to the Tower, but it doesn't seem to haunt her that much anymore. She rightfully blames the Hive, and sees vengeance.

Asher however spins it just the other way. Yes, he hates the Vex and gladly tasks us with killing Brakion, but I don't think that act of vengeance helps quell his guilt in any way. He blames himself for everything about the accident. He blames himself that it's happened in the first place, that he is unable to find a cure, that his Ghost also got changed and is suffering, that he cannot bear to kill it, and so on. Like Eris, he seethes with anger and that anger propels him to move forward and seek a way out, but where Eris directs that anger towards the enemy, he has it pointed only at himself. I've been musing lately on how one's relationships with others mirror their own relationship with themself and how the undue criticism towards people is often the criticism you have towards yourself; a part of my own therapy, but also incredibly interesting in terms of character study. Asher's roughness and criticism and constant blaming directed at others (us, Zavala, Ikora, his fireteam, just everyone except Eris really) is more than anything his own self-blame and anger. I love (though it breaks my heart) the scene where he lashes out at Ikora for suggesting he consults various people about his affliction; I think he is really yelling at himself for not being able to find a cure and save his own life, and her proposals are just a burning reminder of that.

2. Fear. Of course there's the paralyzing terror of sand in the hourglass running out--he doesn't know if his Ghost can still rez him and is afraid to test this (and considers himself a coward for it). But he is afraid of so many other things: a connection with the Vex, having people close, losing them and them losing him. Io is as much a sanctuary to him as it is a hideout, and Asher Mir's One Way Ticket loretab captures it better than I ever could tbh.

3. The way he connects with people. I wonder to what extent he flinches from human contact because he is afraid of quite literally dying on them. His relationship with Eris is both intimate and aloof, and long before his ?death? has she written openly about the possibility of him dying in a sort-of way of preparing herself for it (spoiler: it didn't work, it never does). I think they have always been holding hands only halfway, ready to let go any moment when life got too fleeting and the ropes broke. There's that passage from Marasenna about loosely tethered ships and I see this being somewhat this way.

The way he connects with us (the Guardian) is also notable because at first he doesn't allow himself for anything resembling warmth or emotion--not until we return from the Pyramidion for the first time. He's so scared of us going there, and I think the first time he talks to us openly is only when we come back victorious and alive. One of his out-dialogue lines was "Don't die", ffs. The Gensym Knight armour is all 'oh don't fool yourself by thinking these things will protect you from the harshness of battle' and 'I have no use for mawkish sentimentality, I just need you to stay alive'. He keeps his distance because he's terrified of us dying on him.

He doesn't speak to his fireteam, and I wonder if it's because they remind him of his great failure or whether he secretly blames himself for getting them into it, or maybe because he's, again, scared of getting close if he's gonna die and leave them grieving anyway. He just really keeps the tethers loose, something he acknowledges particularly about the relationship with Ikora, and that maybe he ought to allow for a little warmth on his part.

4. Fascination with the enemy. Oh I think this is a loretab to something from either CoO or Warmind, that letter where he replies to Eris he couldn't find anything about Nokris in his archives. He also asks her if she feels a strange fondness, or fascination, towards the being which changed her, and admits to admiring the Vex in a way; the intimacy of mutual destruction, the closer he gets to them in the attempt to wreck them the more he understands them. All the while being afraid of becoming them! His last stand in the Pyramidion illustrates this whole process, I think, his meandered relationship with that place and the Vex in general. He wishes to see their end but knows how valuable a force they are and would not let the Darkness have it, but he's willing to defend that place with his own blood I think because it is also his, in a convoluted and hard to grasp way. The bravery he couldn't summon up ever since the accident finally wins over the fear of death and he does rise up to fight and guard it, and walk through that gates again to face his own demons. He calls that radiolarian lake "his". I hate the ending of his part in Duress and Egress equally much as I love it, and the Exodus quest tears me up.