#conscious loving

[loveandthepsyche]

There's something so beautiful about being heard. It leaves people with the experience that they matter and that they're valued. 

I really do believe that listening is the highest form of loving.

~ Terces Engelhart

[margaretqualleytruther]

This sort of thing is quite common, although it may not be as glaringly obvious as in the example of Frank and Linda. Millions of people unconsciously participate in and support the destructive behavior of those whom they love. A more subtle version of this pattern is the relationship in which two people do not support each other's expression of their full potential. They let each other get away with being less than their best. There is no agreement between them that the relationship is going to be the catalyst for growth. There may be no overt self-destructiveness such as drinking, drugging, or overeating, but the pattern is basically the same. It is a conspiracy of mediocrity.

[venuskind]

I am incredibly grateful for the men of quality in my life, who do the work,  show up with a willingness to be authentic, vulnerable, and growth-oriented.

They have so much to teach and give to the world and are often not aware of their radiance and importance. None of them are perfect, as none of us can ever be. And they have the courage to venture on the journey of self exploration, they dare to face their inner demons and deities, to meet their shadow in a dance of excellence and integration, with an expanding honesty and transparency with self and others, and the magnificent capacity to learn, grow, and laugh at it all with kin.

I see their struggles, the nobility of their hearts and souls, delight in the beauty of their inner child and brilliance of mind, and am awed by their becoming and unbecoming. 

How blessed I am by the love, compassion, and embodied wisdom they bring to our connection?

There is a unique beauty to the dance of humans who meet on a ground of equality, especially so as dysfunctional gender narratives have be left in the dust to meet on the groundless ground of the unknown that takes us into novel and delicious dimensions of relating, co-creating, and being!

Of course there are many more men, who are deeply steeped in unconsciousness and patterns of harm of self and others, disinclined to awaken and invest in healthy relationships and conscious living. They sure have my compassion and I honor and celebrate all that tries to meet and support them in their healing.

Yet they no longer have a place at my table or in my circles of soul kin and community. I accept their existence and choices for their life path, knowing their essential part in the collective unfolding. Nonetheless, I choose to honor the insight that engaging with their dimensions of consciousness and lived reality no longer is part of my path and offers not enough value or growth.

And why on earth would I want to opt for anything less than the beauty way already present in my experience?

Why on earth engage the scarcity and distortion held, by way too many, as a shield to miss all goodness, joy, and play infinitely possible in every encounter and real meeting of beings?

And so I choose to bless the unaligned, from afar, training my awareness on who and what is harmoniously resonant with my energy and path.

[glowcowboy]

i have started asking myself “how can i make this more fun?” in regards to the things i have to do and it is such a small difference but it brings me so much delight

[blackstarlineage]

[claraoswalds]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CATHERINE TATE (December 5, 1969)

[rubyfunkey]

ponders them...

[weevmo]

Ok fine - I'm incredibly fond of these two and I really don't know if I ship them or not but?? They could be so cute.

*pokes with stick* c'mon, guys, stop scrapping and give each other a damn hug

[timethehobo]

Emmy being self-conscious of his age, and maybe even about how he looks. 🥺 Rook loves him anyway.

[the-crooked-library]

okay but like, as much as I am a fervent proponent of “not every ship should get married and in fact some of them would Never” - especially in context of enemies-to-lovers - I hope that everyone who sees me posting like that knows I am not talking about Spuffy. in fact, I would go so far as to say they are the two characters most willing and even desperate to get married that I’ve ever seen.

one of Buffy’s most persistent struggles is her right to girlhood and the inevitable expiration date she faces as the Slayer. she’s forced to fight and claw for every possible milestone that other girls around her take for granted - trying out for the cheer squad, running for prom queen, going to college, etc. one of the nightmares she has after killing Angel is about being unable to be a bride and get married. in Something Blue, she throws herself into wedding planning with a passion that speaks to her having daydreamed about it. in most cases, her commitment issues veer toward clinging rather than avoidance, and marriage is absolutely one of those beautiful, unreachable things that were ripped away from her when the Powers chose her. it haunts her.

Spike is probably even more obvious - he’s a man from Victorian England, a society that held marriage on a pedestal. furthermore, he is fundamentally a creature of devotion, never straying from Drusilla for over a century, and then from Buffy even after she was dead. their desperation is also quite similar - Spike’s original community had considered him undesirable, barring him from a love match; and while a union may have been arranged for him as a human, his vampirism took that option away entirely, in the same way that Buffy’s becoming did it. during Something Blue, he is just as committed to planning the minutiae of the wedding as Buffy is, even though they could’ve just decided to do it at the courthouse and get it over with under a shoehorned pretext. he’s been dreaming of a wedding for 150 years, let’s be real

Spuffy would’ve gone insane about a wedding. they would’ve fallen in love worse. they would have threatened each other with divorce constantly but stayed married anyway for however long they lived. hell, they should’ve done it just for the CPS reasons in season 6, just imagine having to hide it from everyone except the government, lest Anya thinks they’re trying to steal her thunder

[bricreative]

She wants to be like her dad SO badly it’s not even funny

[queennvirgo]

lately instead for beating myself up or being down on myself (mainly at work when i miss of step of the process or do something wrong, often repeatedly) i instead encourage myself by saying “and that’s okay, next time i’ll do better, and even better the time after that” with the understanding that i’m only a person and as long as i’m doing my best that’s all that matters. that’s what my self-love feels like right now. i’m proud of me for doing my best to take care of my brain and making the best choices i can in a given moment. and when my brain isn’t wanting to work the way i need it to i aim to not be mean to myself. if avoidable i don’t try to force anything with my brain or push an issue just causing myself undue stress. it’s just a noncooperative brain day and that’s okay, it’s temporary and says nothing about my character. i’ve also tried to reach out for support more at work just by expressing how i’m doing on a given day and how my productivity might be affected and my managers have been super supportive of me c’:

[blackstarlineage]

[pseudophan]

oh god he's reached the posting random selfies stage of being home alone it's so bad for him

[hickeygender]

i love that hickey's immediate defense mechanism to anything bad happening to him ever is to break out in the most scuffed patrick bateman type smile imaginable while he stalls for time to come up with a more sane response than either spitting vitriol or taking a chunk out of someone with his teeth.

his bitch wife having the gall to divorce HIM (god's greatest gift to bottoms and a known catch)? sniles. being unjustly flogged bloody in front of the crew after his genius 1000 iq plan doesn't pan out and land him an irish dilf? sniles so sneetly. telling goodsir to butcher billy, getting called out for killing his miserable ex-wife himself for din-din but reasonably drawing the line at meat processing, being clocked as growing up BROKE, and hearing "no" from a man he thought was a doormat?? i know in my heart that when he's sitting there for a moment with his rictus grin, his internal monologue is just incoherent violence like

[sirazaroff]

🔥 Rejoicify! 🔥

The last of your will to live is gone!