#connection and feel less alone

[fantasticwolfpenguin]

I disagree your interpretation of spirituality is narrow and very backed by the Christian idea of spirituality. One believing that there is a life force that is as valuable as your own in every living animal, plant, even some times western traditional “not alive” things like waterways and rocks. That is also spirituality and I think you need some of it to feel fulfilled in the aspect that you are never alone. And you are an spirit on a complex web of other spiritual journeys.

The thing is. Cultural Christianity is a real problem but 9 out of 10 times someone brings it up in this website it's to complain about gays who don't believe in astrology or some shit like that.

[junebugdunes]

garbage rocket give me back the S.S. Dolphin

[ineffable-doll]

Sick of music that’s always about sex and romance? Me too, man!

Thankfully, there’s TONS of music out there that isn’t. Here are some artists with songs I LOVE LOVE LOVE that aren’t about either of those things to diversify your musical subject matter!

(Every artist is also either BIPOC, queer, or both!)

*Links lead to Spotify, but their music is available on all the other usual platforms, too!

Janani K. Jha 📚🏺

Vibe: like devouring an entire fantasy series in a weekend then blinking awake and realizing the rest of the world still exists somehow and you’re no longer sure what to do with your life

Library Card

Machine Learning

Two Roads

Vienna Teng 🌄🎹

Vibe: like life is a series of ups and downs and you’re softly clinging to hope because there really is so much beautiful about the world that makes it worth living

Never Look Away

Homecoming (Walter’s Song)

The Tower

AURORA ✨️🌙

Vibe: like frolicking barefoot in an early autumn wood with nymphs and fairies and harmonizing with the moon

Blood in the Wine

Runaway

Some Type of Skin

Amythyst Kiah 🪕🌇

Vibe: like whispered confessions that became declarations and using a banjo to try and discover who you are

Firewater

Chained to the Rhythm

Play God and Destroy the World

Mon Rovîa 🫂🌿

Vibe: like being told you’re not alone, and everything will be okay, just lay your head here and rest

City on a Hill

crooked the road.

To Watch the World Spin Without You

MALINDA 🏞💞

Vibe: like sitting by a river, following your dreams even though life is so so hard, and learning to love yourself

Love Letter

It's All True

Everything I Need

Enny Owl 🦉⛰️

Vibe: like hearing a forested mountainside sing you a lullaby as you lay in a bed of moss

Lifeboat

House on a Garden

Mother Earth

Please give these artists a try, they’re all incredible and deserve so much love! Share your favorite songs that aren’t about sex or romance in the tags and comments!

[just-mebs]

I finally finished playing Outer Wilds and I'm like,, this game has completely crushed me

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[bunnihearted]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

[lethesbeastie]

I miss being able to do more than 3 things in a day.

There's something wrong with my body, with my brain. Something I haven't put a name to yet, though I've got hypothesis of what it might be. Something is plaguing my body, weighing down my limbs, my heart, my head.

Do you ever feel as if you live your life wading through water? Like you've been drowning for years, chained by your ankles to am impossible weight, struggling inch by inch across the open ocean floor?

Probably not.

I'm starting to realize the way I live is far from mundane, farther still from humane. I struggle to eat. Struggle to shower. To stop. To rest. Like a shark underwater, I swear on God it feels if I stop moving, I will drown.

I can't stop moving, can't sit still, can't escape the static that starts to stutter up my spine the moment i try. It hurts to sit more than it hurts to move, more than it hurts to grind my own joints into dust, chasing the slender phantom of nervous system regulation.

Stimming, I'd said. That's what the pacing is, that's why I have to stay on my feet from the moment I leave my bed, that's why I can't ever, ever sit still.

I'm not so sure about it now.

It hurts to sit still. Hurts to move. Hurts to think and think and think, to have ideas, to want to Make, but to be denied release by the exhaustion that plagues my body.

I'm tired. So tired. I am tired of feeling tired, of feeling both everything and nothing at all. Nervous system circuits short circuiting inside me, I'm impatient with my own exhaustion, desperate to do anything except to search for rest. No one has ever taught me how to rest.

There is something wrong with my body. Something I'm trying to name (something that the doctors will claim is nothing at all), something haunting me, parasitic in its nature, in its pupputeering of my aching, shaking hands.

I want it to get better. Want to stop feeling half dead and less than alive when I rise to greet a day that's almost over. Want to stop seeing the disappointment in my mother's eyes when once again, I cannot gather myself into some semblance of humanity long enough to do the god damned dishes.

I'm trying to fix this mom, I promise. Thank you for doing the dishes for me. I'm sorry I can't get better fast enough. Yeah, I'm tired of my bullshit too.

[tiny-cloud-of-flowers]

suddenly remembered that xeno femslash February is a thing (that might not be the exact name)

I was only able to make one thing for ship week last year - that being the writing where Citri meets Vanea after waking up as Face Nemesis’ pilot - but if I can find the prompt list then I would definitely like to try and make at least something

[cumcov3redangel]

your tags are me to a T, mommy issues from bio & adopted mom 😭 don't even want to think abt the abandonment issues... it's fckn hard out here for gods hottest soldiers 😔

(no need to apologize; I hate seeing you feel down when you do post, but I really do feel less alone reading them. you express your feelings in words so well feel like youre in my head 😅)

Well if I’m not here typing them out sharing them with you and everyone.. I’m crying, yelling and throwing things!!! I like to write or sing when I’m having a moment. I never learned emotional regulation so you guys get to go on that bumpy ride with me :)

[0dotexe]

Having ome of those nights where I feel like everything I do/create/write just isn't good enough and will probably never find it's audience, but I have to keep going. It's all I have.

[dxxtruction]

///

[cappurrccino]

watching media where characters have big supportive communities and lovely caring connections is all fun and games until it starts the brain a-yearning

[arsenicflame]

anyway! officially booked both the time off and the hotel to go to london for my birthday. this will be nice

[evan-buck]

cut scene from the end of 2x01 of kendall rejoining the family immediately after seeing stewy and sandy (i cut the tomgreg part out because it was too long and was used in 2x02 instead)

[jedie]

i hope this post finds you well! quick little soft reboot!

i want to do a soft reboot of this blog! i won't be moving or doing a deep clean, but i do want to start fresh in that i think that the best thing for that is retiring most if not all old threads. it's been a while and i'm not sure if The Muse is there and i certainly don't expect it from anyone! so i won't jumpscare anyone with a thread from 2 years ago lol. i miss writing with you all and in a silent lurk i've read what you guys write on the dash for a couple days and it ignited that spark again to want engage in that!

if you see this and you want a little starter thrown your way, let me know!

[locallyloathed]

That man is too powerful