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sequinsmile-x · 2 years ago

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hand holding #1 and kisses 48 please for your celebration!!! i love you soooo much! ❤️❤️ congratulations on 500!! 🥰 MUAH!

I LOVE YOU TOO!!! <3

I really hope you like this!!

-x-

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: Pregnancy and labour

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She’d never felt pain like it.

She was sure her body had been pushed to its limit before. Her recovery from what Ian had done to her was brutal. She’d learnt to walk again, her core strength reduced to nothing. Months and months of physical therapy. Exhaustion ran down to her very core, and most of her early days in Paris were spent sleeping, wishing she was anywhere other than where she was.

Those days, she was now realising, were a walk in the park in comparison to this.

The baby was coming early. Five whole weeks earlier than she should be, and the fear that gripped her chest, making her breathless, almost matched the contractions that were rolling through her body. Relentless in their nature, making her cry out in a way she didn’t know she could.

She grimaces as the midwife examines her and she squeezes the hand that had been wrapped in hers for hours now.

“Ok, Emily,” the midwife says, smiling kindly at her as she stands up straight, “You’re fully dilated so it’s time for you to start pushing.”

She whimpers, something she would later deny, and she shakes her head, “No, I can’t be. Aaron isn’t here yet,” she looks at Penelope, her eyes meeting her friends that were full of sympathy, “I need Aaron.”

The baby was coming early. And whilst Emily was grounded now, Aaron was still travelling with the team to go away on cases. He was in Ohio, hours away from her and their daughter who was apparently a little too keen to be born. Penelope hadn’t left her side, and had refused to go anywhere after Emily went into labour in her office.

“I spoke to him about 30 minutes ago, Em,” Penelope says, squeezing her hand, “He’s trying his best to get here as quickly as he can.”

“See,” Emily says slightly desperately, turning to look at the midwife, “We can wait, he’s on his way.”

The midwife places her hand on Emily’s leg and her smile somehow gets kinder. Emily groans as another contraction rolls through her, her eyes screwing shut as she waits for it to pass, even though she knows the next one will be chasing right after it.

“Emily,” the midwife says, “You need to do what is safest for you and your baby,” she says gently, “And right now that is getting your baby delivered, her dad can meet her as soon as he gets here, and he’ll have a whole lifetime to spend with her. Ok?”

Emily cries, and she hates it. Hates that she’s as afraid as she is, that her husband, the one person who could truly calm her down, isn’t here. She places her hand on her bump, her skin drum tight over her daughter, and she blows out a steady breath before she nods.

“Ok,” she says, “Let's do this.”

He’s sure he’s never driven so quickly in his life.

He’s grateful for Penelope, for the frequent updates, and idly thinks to himself that he owes her a raise after this. Or a vacation for as long as she wanted.

It had been a long time since he’d felt panic like he had when Emily had called him only a few hours earlier. Her voice strained as she explained to him that she was in labour, that her waters had broken on Penelope’s office floor and she was going to the hospital. Emily was clearly trying to keep calm for him, to soothe the fears she’d no doubt know he’d immediately have.

He curses himself for leaving her, and clenches his teeth as he remembers kissing her on the forehead before he left the bullpen just two days ago. A promise against her skin that after this case he’d stay behind, that he’d be by her side until their daughter came.

And now he might miss it all.

He barely waits for the car to be turned off when he jumps out of it, flashing his badge at the security guard who yells at him that he can’t park there. He doesn’t care if his car gets towed, or even if he never sees the damn thing again, he just wants to get to his wife.

He isn’t even close to polite as he demands to be shown to her room, the nurse at the front desk staring at him with slightly wide eyes as she points him in the right direction. He comes to a grinding halt as he spots Penelope in the hallway, fear briefly gripping his body as he walks towards her.

“Garcia…”

“Bossman!” She exclaims, a smile on her face as she pulls him into a hug, her eyes shining with unshed tears, “You made it!”

“Is everything ok?” He asks, pulling back, his heart hammering in her chest, “Is…”

“Everything is perfect,” Penelope replies,” squeezing his arm, “She asked to be alone for a little while, but I have a feeling that doesn’t include you.”

It’s confirmation that both delights him and scares him. He’d missed it, but they were both ok. A mixture of joy and sorrow that he hadn’t anticipated mixing in his stomach.

He nods, and walks towards the door she directs him to, pausing as his hand is on the door handle when Penelope says his name.

“Hotch,” she says, clearing her throat as she corrects herself, “Aaron, congratulations.”

He smiles at her and takes a deep breath before he walks into Emily’s room. As soon as he spots her it’s like nothing else exists, and he finds himself frozen to the spot as the door closes behind him.

She’s never looked more beautiful. She’s tired, he can see that from across the room, and her hair is tied up in a braid so intricate he’s sure Penelope must have done it for her. Her smile is as wide as he’s ever seen it, and she's looking down at a tiny bundle in her arms, the smallest hand he’s ever seen wrapped around one of her fingers.

“Look, sweet girl,” she whispers. She doesn’t look up at him, but her smile gets impossibly wider, “Daddy’s here. I told you he’d be here soon.”

It’s all he needs to make it across the room, his breath catching in his chest as he looks down at his daughter.

“She’s beautiful,” he chokes out, reaching out to touch her, his fingers trailing over her soft hair, “She’s so small.”

“5lbs 7oz,” Emily says looking up at him, her eyes shining with pride she rarely allowed herself to feel. She smiles at him, “Hi.”

“Hi sweetheart,” he says, settling on the edge of her bed, his guilt for not being here almost overwhelming him as the adrenaline of getting her stars to wear off, “I am so so sorry I wasn’t here. I never should have gone, and I got here as quickly as I could. I even used the blue lights-”

She leans in to kiss him, her lips soft against his as she stops any further apologies. She didn’t need them, nor did she want to hear them. He was here now and that was what mattered.

“It’s ok, honey,” she says as she kisses him once more before she pulls back. They both know they’ll talk about it more, that she can’t undo his guilt with three words any more than he can undo that she went through labour without him with apologies, but for now, they were both content to bask in the joy of their new baby, “Do you want to hold her?”

He doesn’t need asking twice and gently takes the newborn from her, marvelling as she feels like she weighs almost nothing in his arms. Emily settles her head against his shoulder, her eyes fixed on their daughter's face.

“She’s ok?” He asks, staring down at his little girl, “There weren’t any complications because she’s so early?”

Emily shakes her head against him, “She’s ok. They’ll keep her here for a little while though, just to be sure.”

“I’ll stay with her,” he promises, and it makes her smile, her lips pressing into his suit jacket, “That way you can get some rest if you get sent home before her.”

She knows there is no way she is leaving her baby, but she lets it slide for now, “I think we’re definitely going to have to use Penelope as a middle name.”

He chuckles and turns his head to kiss the top of hers, “Definitely. But we’ll have to come up with something short for her first name, otherwise, she’ll hate us forever.”

She hums in response, and they lapse into a brief silence, the only noise in the room the soft sounds of their daughter breathing.

“Aaron?”

“Yes, sweetheart?” He asks, still staring at his little girl's perfect face.

“Next time we do this, you’re grounded the second I am, ok?”

-x-

Tag list:

@ssa-sparks, @lukeclvez, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @aliensaurusrex, @prentissxhotch, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie

Join my tag list here!

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfic #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction

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kanisema-blog · 5 months ago

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A Wedding Plan By A Spider Bite: Leia's Unexpected Romance

Leia had been in the wedding planning business for five years now, and she loved every moment of it. She had always been a romantic at heart, and helping couples plan their perfect day was a dream come true for her. Today, she was overseeing the wedding of her friend's sister, and everything was going smoothly until disaster struck.

As Leia was setting up the wedding cake, she felt a sharp pain on her arm. Startled, she looked down to see a spider biting her. She let out a yelp of pain and surprise, causing Tobey, the CEO of a prominent company and a guest at the wedding, to rush over.

"Are you okay?" Tobey asked, concern evident in his voice.

Leia nodded, trying to brush off the incident. "I'll be fine, it's just a spider bite. I'll probably just need to put some ice on it."

Tobey raised an eyebrow. "Let me take a look at it. I have some medical training, I can help."

Leia hesitated for a moment before nodding. Tobey gently took her arm and examined the bite, his touch sending shivers down her spine. "It's not too serious, but it's best to put some ice on it to reduce the swelling," he said, his voice soothing.

Leia couldn't help but notice how handsome Tobey was up close, his dark hair and piercing eyes captivating her. She quickly shook her head, trying to push away any thoughts of attraction. "Thank you for helping me, Mr. Tobey. I really appreciate it."

Tobey smiled warmly at her. "It's the least I could do. Besides, it's always good to have a knight in shining armor at a wedding, right?"

Leia couldn't help but laugh at his comment, feeling a sense of ease wash over her. "I suppose so. Thank you, Mr. Tobey, for being my knight in shining armor."

As the night went on, Tobey found himself drawn to Leia in a way he had never experienced before. Her passion for her work, her kindness towards others, and her beauty had captivated him completely. He found himself seeking her out during breaks in the wedding festivities, wanting to spend more time with her.

Leia, too, found herself enjoying Tobey's company. He was intelligent, charming, and genuinely cared about her well-being. She couldn't deny the spark she felt whenever he was around, and it both excited and terrified her.

One evening, as they were both taking a break from the wedding preparations, Tobey mustered up the courage to ask Leia out on a date. "Leia, would you like to go out for dinner with me sometime? I would love to get to know you better outside of the wedding chaos."

Leia felt her heart race at his words, her cheeks flushing with excitement. "I would love that, Tobey. I think it would be wonderful to spend more time with you."

And so, their romance began. They went on romantic dinners, walks in the park, and even shared a kiss under the stars. Tobey was the perfect gentleman, always putting Leia's needs and desires first, while Leia brought out a side of Tobey that he never knew existed.

As they grew closer, Tobey revealed his insecurities and fears to Leia, something he had never done with anyone else. Leia listened intently, providing comfort and support in a way that Tobey had never experienced. He felt a deep connection with Leia, a connection that went beyond just physical attraction.

Leia, too, opened up to Tobey about her past relationships and her dreams for the future. Tobey was a great listener, always there to offer a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold. He made her feel cherished and loved in a way she had never felt before.

Despite their busy schedules, they always made time for each other. Whether it was a quick phone call during a break at work or a surprise visit with a bouquet of flowers, Tobey and Leia's love only grew stronger with each passing day.

One day, Tobey surprised Leia with a trip to Paris, a city she had always dreamed of visiting. They spent a week exploring the city, taking in the sights, and making memories that would last a lifetime. It was during a romantic dinner by the Eiffel Tower that Tobey got down on one knee and asked Leia to be his forever.

Tears of joy streamed down Leia's face as she said yes, the love and happiness she felt for Tobey overwhelming her completely. They sealed their commitment to each other with a passionate kiss, the city of lights and love bearing witness to their eternal bond.

As they returned home, Tobey and Leia began planning their own wedding, a day that would be just as magical and unforgettable as the ones they had helped create for others. They chose a beautiful venue, picked out the perfect flowers, and wrote their own vows, promising to love and cherish each other for all eternity.

On their wedding day, Tobey stood at the altar, his heart racing as he watched Leia walk down the aisle towards him, a vision of beauty and grace. Their eyes met, and in that moment, they knew that they were meant to be together, now and forever.

As they exchanged vows and rings, Tobey and Leia's love story came full circle. They had gone from a chance meeting at a wedding to a lifelong commitment to each other, proving that true love knows no boundaries and can conquer any obstacle in its path.

And as they danced the night away, surrounded by friends and family who loved and supported them, Tobey whispered in Leia's ear, "I love you more than words can express, Leia. You are my everything, and I promise to spend the rest of my days making you happy."

Leia smiled up at him, her eyes filled with love and gratitude. "And I love you, Tobey. You are my rock, my partner, and my best friend. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, creating new memories and sharing new adventures together."

And as they embraced, their hearts beating as one, Tobey and Leia knew that their love story was just beginning, a tale of passion, devotion, and everlasting love that would stand the test of time. And with a twirl and a kiss, they danced into their happily ever after, hand in hand, forever entwined in a long romance that would never fade.

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rosavulpes · 9 months ago

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Continued from here : ( X )

" It's not that I've wanted to keep this a secret from all of you ... it's that I've had to "

Redirecting his gaze towards the campfire that lay before them , as if to demonstrate the meaning behind his words he'd reach for a small tree branch laying on the grass near them . Bandaged fingers picking up , and holding the object up before himself , as well as Yang to better inspect .

Only a few seconds after Blake had held the branch in between his fingers would it soon ignite in flames . Crackling , bursting flames , colored an eerie bright violet in stark contrast to the bright orange comforting flames of the campfire .

Tossing the burning stick into those same orange flames so that it's colors would disappear , to consumed by it . He'd soon start to slowly undo the tight bandage wrappings that had been covering the skin of his right arm for so long now .

Blake's aura , his semblance , washing over his right arm with a soft violet glow . It wasn't his aura , nor his semblance that had caused that tree branch to burst into flames with his touch , it was what lay suppressed underneath those wrappings that had been the cause of it as he hadn't taken any precautionary measures to keep it from doing so .

" Yang . I didn't , and I won't take the risk of accidentally hurting you or anyone else if I get too careless . It's already been a month , and I'm still training myself in all aspects on how to better integrate myself with it "

With his aura , and his protective semblance serving now as the barrier between it , and the rest of the world around him , would he now allow Yang to see his right arm .

" Being here in this place , it's raised a lot of questions about what we do , and do not know about Remnant . Our world , and this one are connected to one another somehow . Even if I were to spend a lifetime in this place , I don't think I'd ever be able to figure it out but the one thing I do understand is our understanding of reality doesn't apply here "

" Jaune has been here well over a decade now . You , Ruby , and Weiss have been here for only a few days .... I've been here for about a month and a half . Thanks to Neo , when we fell , I was kicked away from Ruby after I got Neo away from her . Enough so that I ended up landing in an area of the Ever After that was separated from the mainland by the sea . A set of isles comprised of large spires , with dark waters around them . The sun never seemed to shine while I was there ... and it was inhabited solely by what the people here called the Dragons of the Darkness Flames "

Holding his hand out closer towards the campfire , while he wasn't going to retract his semblance , if he were to do so ? He knew that he could stick his hand right into the center of that burning pit , and feel nothing from it .

" These dragons ... they must not have noticed me at first but when I came too ? I ended up fighting this one multiple times while trying to escape . We ended up fighting to a draw each time , and now it's taken residence inside of my arm .

Offering his arm out to Yang if she felt comfortable enough examining it , with his semblance active around him , she would certainly feel it's warmth , but he was confident in knowing that she wouldn't be burned by it . She was strong .

" It's strange . Ever since it's come to inhabit me , I don't fear it anymore . I'd even go as far as to say that I pity it . It's certainly strong , and it's power is to be feared but it's not necessarily good or evil . It's just a force . Like a storm , if you don't get out of the way your liable to get hurt by it . This dragon ... this power . It's the same way and ... If I can learn how to use it ? I can turn that power against Cinder , Salem , and the rest of her entourage . I won't lose again "

With his hands now balling into a fist in response to that last statement , he sighed softly as he relaxed his hands . Looking upwards now into the night skies , dotted with stars .

" There's something I've been meaning to ask . Ruby , she's not been herself for some time now has she ? I already know why ... but I don't think we should let her continue as she is . Would you be alright with coming to talk to her with me in the morning ? I think we could all use some time to air out what were feeling ... we can still work towards finding a way out but if we aren't ready to face what's on the other side I don't see a point in leaving until we are "

@clockwork---heart

#clockwork---heart #ic. blake belladonna #we can continue this as a short thread if you want to ^ ^#ooc. I like the idea of them catching up and having a heart to heart

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gatheringbones · 1 year ago

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["Protecting the Fragile Self

White women also expressed fears of commitment, though these revolved around fears of losing the self. Kelly, a twenty-eight-year-old line cook, told her coming of age story as a long process of learning to trust and rely only on herself to survive. Over the past ten years, she has struggled to survive, living off and on in her car and battling a drug addiction that was memorialized by the faded scars that lined her arms (see Chapter 5 for an in-depth examination of narratives of addiction). Kelly has fought hard for her present sense of sobriety, independence, and security. When our conversation turned to relationships, she said that while she liked "the idea of marriage," she was not actively pursuing it.

K: I like the idea of being with someone, but I have a hard time imagining trusting anybody with all of my personal stuff which is a really big part of being in a relationship. It's being able to share and trust and that's something that I do when I'm in a relationship is I try to edit out things, not like facts, but parts of my personality. And I found that I was just turning into someone that I really didn't like. Like in the process of editing out the crazy parts of myself, I was also editing out the interesting parts too and just found like I was becoming someone who was just really bland, insecure, and that's not what I wanted to be. JS: OK, so you'd rather… K: I'd rather be alone and fierce than be in a relationship and be milquetoast.

Kelly's relationship ideal is based on therapeutic notions of sharing one's deepest self: she will not sacrifice this ideal— or the "crazy parts of [her] self" it upholds— in order to ensure that a man stays with her. Her sense of self, while hard-won, is also tenuous, and she cannot risk losing it in a relationship with someone else. For working-class women who have grown up shouldering immense social and economic burdens on their own, depending on another person feels too perilous. Thus, they view therapeutic ideals of romance as liberating (Illouz 2007)— even if it means being alone.

This fear of losing oneself also came through strongly among the three white women who identified as lesbians. Monica, a thirty-one-year-old art student who previously worked as a truck driver, has decided to postpone committed relationships until she feels more stable with who she is.

JS: So you don't want a lifetime partner right now? M: Not at all. Because I get, like, too wound up and spend too much time in a relationship and then kind of lose track of what else is going on in my life. So yeah, I really need to be single right now. It's hard. I get so meshed and like… I even lose sight of what I like to do. All things are like, true to me. And then when I get out of the relationship I'm like… JS: Where am I? M: Where am I? Why do I sew now? I don't even like to sew.

Similarly, Lauren, who had been on her own since her father kicked her out of the house for being gay, did not want a partner who would threaten the autonomy that she had fought so hard for: "I want someone who has, you know, similarly overcome their respective obstacles and learned and grown from them, rather than someone who is bogged down by it and is always the victim." Thus, while she longs for a "Princess Charming" to share her life with, she will not risk being with someone who drains her emotionally. When lesbian women lose their family's (and the larger society's) support, they learn the vital importance of being able to make it on their own.

For other white women, however, this seeming freedom paled in comparison to the imagined stability of the past:

Like I said, I'm one of those women…. not a lot of women want to be barefoot and pregnant and be a housewife, and that's what I wanna do. I would love to meet a man who wanted to work all day and come home and have dinner, and I could stay home and garden and take care of the kids. i love to do all of that, so being a woman to me is… gender issues are not a problem. I'm happy being a woman and I'm happy being taken care of, and hey if you don't want me in your club because I'm a girl, who cares: I'll go join a girl club, whatever.

In this passage, Delores gives voice to a backlash against feminist promises of egalitarian gender relationships. Indeed, the "unsettling conditions of postindustrial society and the global economy only seem to have intensified cravings for security," fueling a desire to return to both the restrictions and the protections of the industrial family (Stacey 1998: 260)."]

jennifer m. silva, from coming up short: working-class adulthood in an age of uncertainty, 2013

#transcribed #I used to have panic attacks about erasing myself on early dates with c #I nearly broke up with her because of it

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loveoaths · 2 years ago

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hi op. i hope you're having a wonderful day. i agree with what you said in your post but i hope, and i mean this kindly, that you don't discount the fact that luke did his best to collect what was left of the jedi's teachings in a galaxy where the empire did its best to erase their existence so there aren't that many holocrons or scriptures left. he didn't have the same formal schooling as grogu and ahsoka but yoda himself confirmed that luke was ready to face vader nonetheless. all those years between anh and rotj weren't just luke fighting for the rebellion and floundering with the force, it included him studying and learning and finding jedi artifacts as well. he may not have had as many years in the jedi order as the other jedi post-order 66 like cal or had the same time to train under a master like ezra but luke got to where he is because he worked so hard to become a jedi. his insecurities are still present and he has moments of doubt because he doesn't feel like he is enough. but at least he's doing instead of trying, just as his master yoda taught him.

this is a very long way to say “we agree”, haha??

saying that luke feels like he doesn’t know enough isn’t discounting anything; i’m just repeating what he himself says in tbobf. he essentially says, almost depreciatingly, “[grogu] knows more than i do,” and “i don’t know if i taught him much. it’s more like i helped him remember.”

my one line about Luke feeling like he doesn’t know enough about the Jedi is simply that: he feels like he doesn’t know. he did get the jedi speedrun, because jedi instruction happens over the course of a lifetime, and the empire’s violence stole that education from luke and every other force sensitive that came after the republic’s fall. mentioning that luke doesn’t have the full scope of jedi instruction is not a dig against his character, nor something that needs defending; it’s just a statement of his reality. luke did not receive the full scope of jedi instruction because they were all dead or dying — what teaching he does have comes from his limited time with yoda and ben, and all teaching beyond that has been pieced together from the remnants and artifacts he could find.

luke knew what he needed to know to face vader in battle and in spirit, because he was trained well and is the jedi his father failed to be. being ready for a fight — no matter how daunting! — is not the same as being ready to carry on the thousands of years of history and tradition of a culture. luke isn’t ready! he doesn’t have the benefit of a collective knowledge, or the archives, or other masters! AND THAT’S GREAT, from a character standpoint, because his persistence in the face of hopelessness is a huge part of who he is. luke could have looked around and seen the destroyed temples etc and said, “welp no way i’ll ever learn more about the Jedi, time to give up!” but he doesn’t. he says, maybe most of it is gone, but that doesn’t mean i can’t find what’s left and connect the dots and carry it with me, because the next generation deserves to know as much as i can salvage. that’s amazing. that is an amazing task to take on while still worrying over whether or not you’re good enough to do it, if you’re the right one to do it, if anyone will appreciate your efforts, if anyone will ever know. that’s selflessness in action. that’s a commitment to a culture he never got to experience in totality, that he will spend the rest of his life resurrecting so the next generation can experience it the way he never could. his insecurities about his capacity to execute this vision are important to me to highlight, because they exemplify so many of the themes of star wars. in spite of his fears and concerns, he persists. he does his best. he is not trying, he is doing. examining those insecurities and portraying them when writing about luke matters to me a lot, because if we just look at luke as successful and powerful etc etc etc then we miss a huge part of his character and the themes he embodies. a hero cannot be a hero if we do not know what they fought through to get here, and on a narrative level that fight is often more mental and emotional than physical. his insecurities are an ongoing aspect of the mental and emotional battle that started years ago when he took up the fight against vader and the empire. recognizing them as ongoing, waxing and waning as they do in any real human being, matters.

saying all this to say: you and i share the same belief. i’m not sure what exactly about my last post made you think otherwise. sometimes people conflate acknowledging character “faults” as disparaging them, but i assure you that was not the case in this instance.

ETA: re-reading my earlier post, and i believe i see what set you off. when i said luke “knows jack-all shit” about the jedi, that was a joke.

#walkie talkie.#answered.

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books · 4 years ago

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Tumblr Exclusive: Forestborn

Do you like shapeshifters, epic quests, magic, dark forests, and obstinate princes? Well, have we got an exclusive excerpt for you!

Forestborn is an upcoming @torteen novel by debut author Elayne Audrey Becker. Becker graduated from Vassar College with a BA in classics and history. She is currently continuing her education at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland after time spent as an editor with a New York publisher. She grew up with a lake and woods as her backyard, spending long days outside and visiting national parks with her family.

Forestborn will be available at bookstores everywhere from August 31. Read the exclusive excerpt below, and thanks again to Elayne for sharing her inspiration moodboard with us!

Forestborn By Elayne Audrey Becker

One

I find her deep in the Old Forest, facedown in the dirt.

Sharp pain needles my palms where I’ve balled my fists so tight, the nails have carved half-moon marks into the skin. Snaking across the twig-strewn ground, gnarled roots press against my boots like a warning as I roll the young woman onto her back. Best to be sure.

No, she is certainly dead. Cold, stiff, and hungry like the rest; even with forest debris masking much of her shirt, the threadbare cotton dips in unmistakable rivulets across her bony frame. I swallow my disappointment and push her eyelids shut, wanting to spare her kin the sight of those empty, pointless eyes.

“Sorry,” I murmur, sitting back on my heels. “I’m guessing you didn’t deserve this.”

Around us, the trees lean inward and down with ominous uniformity, leaves and branches straining against their holds, drawn to the dead woman as if tethered by ropes. The sway, the humans call it. I ignore the prickling in my belly. They’ll straighten out soon enough when the magic leaves her body.

With a final nod, I push to my feet and wend my way back to the forest’s edge. It’s a close wood, with broad oaks in summer bloom crowding the grassy floor, their leafy canopy admitting shafts of sunlight that glitter like crystal chandeliers. All in all, too peaceful a setting for someone driven to madness to die alone. I breathe it in deep to savor the scent while I can, grateful that for whatever reason, these trees never seem drawn to the magic in my own blood. I’ve had enough of vengeful wilderness to last a lifetime.

“Well?” Seraline asks, her knuckles nearly white where they clutch the hem of her shirt.

I shake my head. “Dead.”

Her shoulders sink. Though Seraline is sturdy as iron when she’s in her aunt’s tannery, shaping leather into draft horses’ yokes, standing a determined two paces behind the tree line now, she seems shakeable as snow.

“Come on,” I say, nodding to the stony town just across the open fields. “You’re going to be late.” I don’t ask if she plans to examine the body for herself. Seraline may have insisted on coming as a show of support, but our friendship has many limits, her discomfort with the dead and dying the least of them.

After a brief hesitation, Seraline falls into step at my side, sweeping her seeing stick across the ground in broad strokes. “Poor thing.”

I nod, my jaw clenched tight.

This time of year, the late summer air hangs heavy even in the early morning, enough that the back of my neck is already slick with sweat. The barley fields remain mercifully empty as we pick our way through the dusty rows, but still I plow forward with my head down and shoulders bent, half from habit and half spurred by the hour. Seraline isn’t the only one who’s running behind.

“Will you not come with us?” she asks, her head tipping to the side as we near the town. “Aren’t you due back in Roanin, anyway?”

“I can’t,” I reply, making it sound like an apology. I’m not really sure why we still play this game when we both know it’s futile. “I have a few things to take care of first.”

“Today of all days,” she snorts.

“You know how it is.” In truth, I’d give my right arm to stay away from the capital today. But there’s no help for it.

“Her husband deserves to know,” Seraline adds after a while. “The two of them were inseparable.”

“He will know. The trail wasn’t hard to follow.”

Seraline is always trying to persuade me to talk to the deceased’s families. She believes I have a softer manner than many in uniform, and once she even called me heartless for refusing. That time hurt the most. But it isn’t my job to report any deaths I uncover to next of kin. Only to the king. And it’s not like she’s stepping up to volunteer, anyway.

Briarwend is a humble farming town that stretches all of three streets, a collection of squared off stone shops that deal in necessity rather than charm. Its weather-worn residents are the same. When I began seeking intel here four years ago, long days tending the surrounding fields made the people lazy and open over a couple of pints. Lately, they’re just hungry, poor soil and rising taxes leaving gaping holes that only tempers seem to fill.

Each night under dwindling lamplight and over stained, sticky tables, the pub dwellers deal out anger and judgment like tossing seeds across the earth. The battered forest walker I helped home last night is not the only magical person I’ve found bleeding on cobbled streets. The humans’ anger is growing fists.

Seraline’s family is fixing their horse’s harness to an old wooden cart when we reach their cottage home. Most others have long since departed.

“Where have you been?” her mother demands, tightening the leather straps. The roan mare stamps a hoof, ears flicking nervously in my presence. “We should have left hours ago!”

“Lela needed my help. And you’re not ready, anyway.” Seraline shrugs.

“Nor are you. Breakfast is gone, so you’ll just have to wait. Go get changed.” She studiously avoids my eye, as if I’m not even there.

Seraline bids me farewell with a light touch on the shoulder, which causes her little sister to quickly interlace two pairs of twisted fingers and pull them apart. The sign to ward off bad fortune.

“You shouldn’t indulge my sister,” the dreadful Arden says once she’s gone, stomping over and swiping a greasy hand across his forehead. By far the weakest sibling in this family of four. “Seraline is delicate. She can’t be tramping about the kingdom with the likes of you.”

Which is ironic, really, since he was eager enough to sidle close last year, when he thought empty flattery might earn him a kiss. That was before a too-often empty belly soured his tongue, before he learned who and what I was. And though I truly could not care less what this boy thinks, I’m dismayed to find my stomach still burns with anger and something close to shame. My gaze drops to his pant leg, which bears splotches of dried blood from the night before.

“Problem?” Arden sneers, white skin burned red from long days in the sun.

A slow tingling feeling bubbles up from my core, threads of numbness that tiptoe across my arms and legs. I force myself to breathe deeply, to beat the threads back. “I know it was you,” I mutter.

He traces his chapped lips with two fingers, beady eyes darting to his mother before he leans forward, his smile stiffening. “You know nothing,” he hisses.

“You forget I have certain resources at my disposal.” I raise a hand in front of his flaking face, where my nails have sharpened into claws. “And that I know where you live.”

I stare until a satisfying trace of fear tinges Arden’s expression before stomping away toward the town’s single inn, which is little more than a guesthouse with four creaking rooms. If Helos were here, he would tell me to not take the bait, that I’m better than that. What he never seems to understand is that I’m not better than anything at all.

#forestborn #tumblr exclusive #books #booklr

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capsgrl · 4 years ago

Text

Personal Angel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 7,903

Summary: Bucky Barnes joins the Avengers and finds himself drawn to the teams healer, but she’s keeping a secret. Will she finally heal him of the pain he experienced at the hands of Hydra.

Warnings: angst, blood, mentions of injury (only light detail), a couple of bad language words, let me know if I should add more.

Authors note: Please find 7k+ words of Bucky needing a hug and being the soft soldier he is. Reader is a healer and younger sibling of the Maximoff twins. Set after the events of Civil War except everyone loves each other and lives in harmony, nobody goes on the run. *breaks indicate change of POV*

Also posted on ao3

Growing up in Sokovia in a time of war was no picnic, but no matter how hard things were at times your parents gave you and your older twin siblings, Wanda and Pietro, the happiest childhood they possibly could. Until they couldn’t. Until tragedy struck and they were taken away from their three young children by a man named Stark.

Being the youngest, you looked up to the twins to guide you. They were your only family now and you’d follow them anywhere. So you did, you followed straight to Hydra and experiments in a science lab. There was never any doubt in your mind, wherever your family were, that’s where you belonged.

You were given the power of healing. With the help of the mind stone you were able to heal wounds and take the pain away from the injured. The first time you demonstrated your new powers to your handlers, the whole lab rejoiced. With your help, they now had an infallible army. The whole thing didn’t sit right with you, but your siblings assured you that it was a means to an end. Stark needed to pay for what he had taken from you.

It took a lot of practice for you to hone your skills. At first you couldn’t control them, and any time you touched someone, even accidentally, you would heal. The trouble with this was in order to heal them you absorbed their pain. It was only for a brief moment, but it was concentrated like a short, sharp burst. It was intense and it drained you, but eventually you learned to control it, and only use it when you chose to.

When Wanda and Pietro took off to begin their revenge plan they took you with them, but kept you hidden, kept you safe. It was only when they realised the true nature of the man, no robot, they were working for and switched to the side of good that they brought you out of the shadows and finally introduced you to the avengers.

You went to Sokovia, helping to evacuate people and heal the injured. It was exhausting but these people were innocent and they deserved your help. You were so busy you didn’t have time for fear, but when Wanda stepped onto the bus, the look on her face scared you more than anything ever had. Something bad had happened it was clear as day. Your fears were confirmed when you looked behind her to Clint, a lifeless Pietro in his arms.

Your world had suddenly got a little smaller, three had become two and it hurt. But you knew that whatever you were feeling was nothing compared to the pain of your sister, losing her twin, a connection that you could never understand now severed, and you did the only thing you could do in that moment. You threw your arms around her and absorbed it all, the pain, the grief, everything. It was the last thing you remembered before collapsing to the floor.

The next time you opened your eyes you were staring at the ceiling of the Avengers compound. Your new home. Wanda had assured you that it was the best place for you both and you couldn’t deny you felt more peaceful here than anywhere you’d been since you lost your parents.

You begged your sister not to reveal how your powers worked. Steve Rogers was a good man and wouldn’t want you to put yourself out for the team, but you wanted to help. She reluctantly agreed, on the condition that you promised not to reveal that you could heal emotional pain too. It always worried her that people would come to depend on you for their emotional needs, and the kind of affect it could have on your mental state. You readily agreed, and became an official Avenger, their resident healer, but your big sister also insisted you join her training with Steve and Natasha so you could learn to defend yourself.

The team continued to grow, until one day Steve introduced you to his latest recruit and best friend, Bucky Barnes. On the outside the man looked just like he did in the old photos you’d seen, just with slightly longer hair and a few more creases around his eyes. It was looking into his eyes that really gave away the changes. You could see a lifetime of pain and suffering in them, so much so that you knew no matter how similar he looked on the outside, he couldn’t be that same man on the inside.

You couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him to carry that pain around with him, and that thought alone spurred you on to do something that you’d not done since the day you comforted your grieving sister in Sokovia. You reached out your hand to shake his, and took just a little bit of that pain away.

B—-B

When Steve had asked him to come and stay with the team at the Avengers compound, Bucky was reluctant. After everything that happened in Berlin and with Tony he felt guilty. The Stark man had assured Steve that he understood that what happened to his parents was an act of The Winter Soldier and not Bucky, but he wasn’t ready to forgive yet. He assured Steve that it was fine for the new team to take residence in the compound, and headed back to the home he shared with Pepper, vowing to return when the time was right.

Bucky was nervous when his pal had taken him to the common room to properly introduce him to the team members he’d fought beside and against at the airport, but they all seemed really understanding. Going round shaking hands with everyone, his eyes finally landed on you. Steve introduced you as Y/N, and as you took his hand and spoke a soft ‘nice to meet you’ he felt overcome with a warm, calm feeling. A feeling he’d not felt since he was a young man before the war. It was almost like peace. Being around you made him feel lighter.

He came to learn that you were a healer, coming down to the med bag whenever Dr Cho needed your help. He found he wasn’t surprised by that at all, there seemed to be an air of calm about you that was soothing, at least to him anyway, not that he would tell anyone that. He’d barely spoken to you since he’d arrived at the compound. That first time he met you, you excused yourself quickly after shaking his hand and scurried off to your room. He couldn’t really blame you, you were probably afraid of him and wouldn’t be the first person to feel that way. There was something about you that made Bucky want to get to know you, but he was still too fragile to try to forge new relationships, relying heavily on Steve when he needed company, but spending the majority of his time alone.

The first time Bucky saw you use your powers, he was mesmerised. Steve always insisted that the team headed straight to med bat after missions for a once over even if they felt fine, which is where he found himself after returning from a trickier than expected mission with Steve and Natasha. The sound of the door behind him opening caught his attention.

“Hey Doc, what have we got today?”, you asked as you entered the room.

“Well, Miss Romanoff here took a bullet to the arm, no major damage has been done, and the bullet has been removed, but we could use some healing here if you don’t mind,” the Doctor said barely looking up from her clipboard.

“Of course. Hold still Nat,” you warned as you gently laid your hands over the injury site causing the Black Widow to wince. When you moved your hand away a moment later, Natasha’s arm looked as good as new. It was like witnessing a miracle.

The man was shaken out of his thoughts by your voice. “Want me to fix up that shiner you got there?”, you asked, pointing to the eye that was currently swollen to the point that it wasn’t fully open.

“Uh, no it’s OK, thank you though,” he uttered quietly “the serum will have this healed up in no time.” It was the truth, the serum healed him quickly just as it did Steve, although the throbbing in his head almost made him reconsider. But someone like him didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such magic, he felt that he deserved to feel ever ounce of pain, no matter how many times his best friend tried to assure him that he didn’t.

“Well you know where I am if you change your mind.” She offered, reaching out to gently touch his forearm, and once again he felt a feeling of tranquility wash over him. It was like the warmth was spreading from the point that their skin touched, all through his body. He couldn’t stop staring at her hand, that is until she pulled it away and all but sprinted out of the door.

B—-B

You jolted awake, taking a minute to examine your surroundings before realising you were definitely still in your bed, in your room at the compound. It was the middle of the night and the sound of someone screaming had woken you. You strained to listen, and you couldn’t be sure but the screams sounded awfully like they were coming from Bucky. It was probably a nightmare you reasoned, but you decided to go check anyway, just in case. You crept down the hallway towards the sound which was indeed coming from the room belonging to the man in question. Deciding you needed to see with your own eyes that it was just a dream and not something more sinister, you gently pushed the door open and peeked in.

The sight you were met with almost broke your heart. Bucky was thrashing around, tangled in the sheets, and even in the dark you could see the wrinkled set of his brow. The dim light creeping in from the hallway illuminated the sweat covering his face, neck and the part of his chest that was peeking out from the covers. It was amazing that he hadn’t woken himself up yet you mused, but another loud wail shook you out of your thoughts. Spurring into action before you could second guess yourself, you ran lightly to his side and reached out to brush the hair from his damp forehead, and resting your fingers there as gently as you could, you began to absorb the pain.

He visibly started to calm, the sounds stopping almost immediately and limbs slowly relaxing. You were starting to feel weak and knew that you needed to leave soon before you passed out on the floor next to his bed. You weren’t sure how you’d explain that away in the morning. When you felt like you couldn’t take anymore you pulled your hand back and stumbled back to your room, flopping onto your bed and crying yourself to sleep. The relaxed look on his face the next morning only cemented your plan in your mind. You would do everything you could to ease the nightmares for this tortured solider. A brief moment of pain was nothing compared to a whole night of reliving the worst moments of your life.

After the first few nights of creeping into the former assassins room you had managed to detect some sort of a pattern, and adjusted your sleep schedule accordingly. You didn’t dare tell Wanda what you were doing. You knew she didn’t approve of you using your power to emotionally heal people, further supported by the lecture you got when you’d tried to take her grief after Pietro died. The red head would be absolutely furious with you.

You were exhausted from the late night healing sessions and were worried people would start noticing the bags under your eyes. You’d not done this much emotional healing before but it was worth it to see how much more relaxed Bucky was looking, and you weren’t the only one to notice, judging by the conversation you were listening in on in the kitchen that morning.

“Hey bud, you’re looking really well rested lately, have the nightmares finally stopped?”, Steve asked as he grabbed a water from the fridge, cooling off from his morning work out.

“No, I don’t think they ever will to be honest. But they feel different now, duller if that makes sense? I dunno, I can’t explain it, but they don’t seem to wake me up anymore. I’ve not slept this well in decades.” He chuckled in response, following the man out of the kitchen.

You hid your smile behind your coffee cup before taking a sip and turning back to your breakfast but you could feel your sister's eyes on you, staring a hole into the side of your head.

“Can I help you?”, you asked with exaggerated sweetness like only an annoying little sister could. You didn’t dare look at her though.

“I know what you’re doing.” She stated matter of factly.

“Hey, we had a deal, no looking in my mind without my permission”, you hissed at her angrily.

“I didn’t. I’ve seen you go into his room at night. You’re either healing his pain or fucking him,” she said with a raised eyebrow before smirking and adding “although both can have the same relaxing affect”.

“I am not fucking him and please keep your voice down”, you whisper shouted. You thought you were being careful and suddenly panicked that someone else might have seen.

“Why Y/N? You don’t even really know him so why are you risking your own health to fix his?”, your sister asked gently. She didn’t seem angry, just confused.

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t bear the amount of pain I saw in his eyes the first time we met. Everything that happened to him, a lifetime of pain. I wanted to take it away, he doesn’t deserve it. And I know it’s exhausting and it’s not good for me blah blah blah but I can’t help it. I can’t stop myself.” You finished your rant by slumping back in your chair in defeat, your eyes staring at the ceiling.

Of all things you expected Wanda to say, or possibly even yell, the last thing you expected was a quiet “Does he know?”. You shook your head and she sat silent for a moment, contemplating before adding “maybe you should get to know him. You know, make friends. You might find you can help him without using your powers.”

B—-B

Bucky sat on the quinjet waiting to take off for the next mission and couldn’t help feeling nervous. He’d been sleeping so well at the compound lately, but this mission would mean staying away for a few days and he was worried about his nightmares coming back when he was possibly sharing a room with his team mates. The only thing giving him comfort this time was that Y/N was joining the team. Steve had asked you to accompany them as the mission was expected to last a few days, and Bucky couldn't stop himself from smiling when he heard the news. Despite the fact that he’d hardly got to know you yet, your presence relaxed him more than he could explain.

He must have been staring at you this whole time because the sounds of Steve clearing his throat broke him out of his reverie. Bucky turned to look at his friend and was met with a knowing look. “Go talk to her,” he encouraged. But he wasn’t feeling brave enough for that, and he didn’t even know what he’d say, so he just rolled his eyes and got to work sharpening his knives.

The mission had been a hard one, they were going to infiltrate three suspected Hydra bases and take them down, and it affected Bucky much more than he would care to admit. It didn’t help that he'd slept so poorly in the little basic rooms they’d stopped at in between. He thought logically that he’d sleep better sharing a room with his best friend, having the comfort of another person there, not being alone, but he didn’t. The nightmares plagued him again, worse than they’d been in a long time.

He was agitated, he just wanted to get back to the only place he seemed to be able to sleep, and maybe sleep for a week. He sat leaning forward, elbows leaning on his knees, leg bouncing up and down, and was surprised when you sat down next to him.

“Wanna talk about it?”, you whispered. His head whipped around to you so fast he's surprised his neck didn’t break. You must have noticed the stunned look on his face, because you quickly added “sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I just uh, I figured that this particular mission might have been harder for you than usual. I’m sorry again.” You looked away then, and Bucky was worried you were going to leave. He liked it when you were nearby, so he blurted out the first thing that came into his head “It was”. You looked at him again, this time with sadder eyes. It felt like you were reading his mind, but he was sure you didn’t have that power. “I’m not ready to talk about it, I’m sorry, but thank you. For asking I mean. I appreciate it.”

“I understand. But if you do ever want to talk, about anything, I’m a great listener.” You reached out then, placing your hand in his bouncing knee to stop the movement and he felt it, that familiar warmth spreading from where you touched him, through his whole body, relaxing him. He couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his cheeks, it was like it was involuntary. He turned to look at you then, and you were smiling right back, a soft warm smile. You were so close that he could smell your shampoo and it was intoxicating. Your eyes fluttered slightly and he looked down at your lips. He didn’t even know you but he was suddenly overcome with the urge to kiss you.

Unfortunately, the moment was broken by a voice that never failed to irritate the super soldier. “Quit making eyes with Y/N man. We need you up front.”

“Coming Wilson,” he sighed as he turned and watched you all but run away. You slept the rest of the flight home.

Once the jet landed, Bucky went straight to his room to shower and nap. Feeling much more human now, he ventured to the kitchen for food where he once again saw Sam.

“So you and Y/N huh,” he smirked, folding his arms and leaning back against the counter next to where Bucky was working on a sandwich. “Sorry if I interrupted a moment there. She’s a sweet girl though, I think she’d be good for you.”

Despite his usual irritation with the man, Bucky found that he was actually a really good person to talk to, his experience with social work meaning he often had useful advice. “I like her,” he admitted. “I can’t explain it, I just feel better when she’s around, but I don’t know how to talk to her. One minute I think she wants to talk and then she runs away from me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“Well, you are an intense dude”, Sam laughed. “Seriously though, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Just talk to her, keep it light, ‘hey how’s it going”, you know that sort of thing.”

Bucky was about to respond when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Wanda in the doorway, and he could feel his cheeks heat up at being caught talking about her sister. “We need to talk” she stated, in a tone that caused Sam to grab his food and scarper with a quiet good luck on his way out.

“Wanda, I’m not sure how much you heard but…” Bucky started, but was quickly cut off by the red heads raised hand.

“There’s something you don’t know about Y/N. Healing physical injuries isn’t the only power she has, she can also take away emotional pain.”

Bucky was stunned and couldn’t seem to form a more comprehensive response than “wow, I didn’t know”.

“Nobody knows except me, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. When she takes the emotional pain away, she absorbs it, and I don’t want her to become an emotional crutch for anyone, I’m afraid that it will affect her mental state negatively. I know the team would never intentionally hurt her, but I can’t risk it. You understand right?”

“Of course, I won’t tell a soul. But why are you telling me this, aren’t you worried I’ll do just that?” Bucky questioned.

“You already are, you just don’t know it”, Wanda quipped. “She’s been healing you. At night when she hears you having nightmares she comes in and takes the pain away. All it takes is a touch, and I suspect she might be doing it at other times too, although I couldn’t be sure”.

Suddenly everything makes sense now. Why he always felt better in your presence. He thought you were just a tactile person but all those gentle touches that warmed his heart were times you were healing him. You were the reason he was sleeping so soundly at night.

“I swear I had no idea Wanda, you gotta believe me”, he pleaded.

“I do, I think. But I just wanted you to know, because everytime she takes your pain away, she feels it. Only for a moment, but the worse the pain for the person, the more intensely she feels it. It’s really draining her, and I don’t want to begrudge you the comfort but she’s my sister and I’m worried”.

Bucky felt absolutely awful. He’d never want to inflict his pain on anyone else, even for a moment, especially not someone as good as you. Someone who helped him so selflessly. It was his cross to bear, he made his bed and he intended to lie in it. Cold and alone. “I won’t let her do it anymore”, he swore to Wanda before leaving her alone in the kitchen with his sandwich. He’d suddenly lost his appetite.

B—-B

Things had been weird since your first mission, you could feel it. Bucky had been avoiding you like the plague, and you felt terrible. You’d wanted to get to know him, to try to be friends like Wanda suggested, but you’d gone about it the wrong way and clearly upset him. He’d even taken to locking his bedroom door at night preventing you from soothing his nightmares. You were sure he wasn’t sleeping again, but you’d not seen so much as a glimpse of him in weeks so couldn’t verify that.

Why would he lock his door at night? The bedrooms were in a secure floor so there was no danger of intruders and FRIDAY would alert you all anyway. Then it struck you. Did he know? Had he found out that you’d be coming in his room at night to heal him? There’s no way he could know surely, unless someone had told him. Just then Wanda came into the common room and plopped herself down on the couch next to you, and you remembered how protective your big sister could be.

“I’ve not seen Bucky around recently, have you spoken to him at all?”, you asked nonchalantly. “Nope,” was all the answer you got.

“You sure about that?”, you pressed, giving her your best sister stare down. The look on her face told you everything you needed to know. “Wanda! How could you? Jesus he must be so mad at me, no wonder he’s not speaking to me”, you shouted incredulously.

“I’m sorry, but I was worried about what you were doing to yourself. You're my baby sister and I love you. If you wouldn’t listen to me I thought you might listen to him.”

“We’ll he’s not even speaking to me now so that was a big fail sis, well done,” you seethed. At that moment Steve and Sam walked in.

“Oh I wondered why tin man’s been so mopey lately, lovers quarrel?” Sam questioned teasingly. Steve elbowed him in the side lightly and pointed down the corridor. “He’s in the gym,” the soldier added by way of explanation.

As soon as you reached the gym you could see how tired Bucky looked through the glass door. His eyes were dark and heavy, his eyebrows turned down and his hits weren’t landing on the punch bag with their usual impact.

You stepped in quietly, then thought better of sneaking up on a super soldier and cleared your throat. “Hi Bucky, can we talk a minute?”

The man looked up and then tiredly gestured to the bench at the side of the room where his bag was sat. He sat down and started unwrapping his flesh hand. He was obviously waiting for you to speak first so you took a deep breath to steady yourself and started.

“Firstly, I just wanted to apologise. I know that Wanda told you about me, uh, you know…” you trailed off. God this was embarrassing. “I’m so sorry. I realise that was a total violation of your privacy and also really creepy, but I promise you it was coming from a good place. I was trying to help not, you know, be a peeping Tom or anything.” You blushed at that, remembered the times you’d seen his beautiful chiselled pecs, and those gorgeous biceps and powerful thighs whenever they poked out of the covers. He didn’t need to know about those thoughts.

He chuckled at that and you felt yourself relax slightly. “Trust me, that is one of the least creepy things that’s happened to me in my 100 odd years, doll. Apology accepted”. You couldn’t help but chuckle back.

“Well thank you. I assume that's the reason you’ve been avoiding me?” You questioned nervously. When he shook his head your heart sank. Did you do something else? Then it hit you. “Of course me healing you without your consent is equally as weird, so again I apologise. I just wanted to help but I can see that I probably went about it all wrong.”

Bucky shook his head vehemently then. “God no, you think I’m mad at you? How could I be mad at you, you’ve got a heart of gold and you have helped me so much since Steve brought me here. Honestly, I don’t think I’d have felt so comfortable here if it hadn’t been for you. I could never understand why I always felt so at peace around a near stranger, but as soon as Wanda explained your powers to me it all made sense. But I would never want to hurt you Y/N, and the thought of you taking on just a fraction of this pain made me feel awful. You don’t deserve that and me avoiding you was just me trying to protect you.”

You were relieved at his confession. He wasn’t mad. You sighed and relaxed fully leaning back against the wall. “I promise you it’s not that bad. Most of the time. It only lasts for a moment, and sometimes if it’s only mild pain I barely even feel it. Like when I heeled Steve’s bruised ribs on that overnight because he couldn’t sleep. I hardly even flinched,” you said bumping your shoulder with his. “But if you don’t want me to do it anymore, I promise I won’t.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me. More than you could know. But I think it’s about time I tried to overcome these demons on my own.” You nodded at that. He had a point, you had become a crutch without him even knowing. You got up to leave when he grabbed your hand to stop you. “If I’m doing this, I think I’m gonna need a friend. What do ya say?” He asked, looking up at you with a hopeful grin.

“I’d love to be your friend”, you replied. If you couldn’t help him with your power, offering moral support would be the next best thing.

B—-B

The months after your talk in the gym had been the best in Bucky’s long life. You’d really started to relax around him, the conversations came easy, both when you were all with the team and if you were hanging out alone.

It was the times that you hung out alone he enjoyed the most. He could really be himself then, without worrying about knowing looks from Steve and Sam, or worrying whether Wanda was going to try and read his mind to find out his intentions with her sister. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to confront those feelings himself. He told himself that he just wanted to get to know you, but deep in his heart he knew that he was falling for you.

You laughed together, he told you stories about life in the 30s and 40s, his family, a young pre-serum Steve, and anything else you wanted to know. In turn you taught him all about modern technology, helped him pick out some more modern day clothes and even took him to get a haircut. He couldn’t help but notice the way you stared for a little too long when he came out with his hair cropped shorter, before nodding that you liked it.

The nightmares were back and almost as aggressive as before, but when he walked out into the kitchen one night to make himself a tea and found Y/N sat there waiting for him with one already made, he found himself opening up to you. He’d never tell you all the gory details that plagued his mind at night, but even revealing just a little bit of those late night visions and the feelings that followed, made him feel better. You never judged, just listened, and not even the thought that Sam was right about how he should talk about his feelings more could diminish that safe feeling he had with you.

You’d even started touching him again, completely innocent touches like leaning your head on his shoulder, linking your hand through his arm when you were walking around town, but still sending a warmth through his body like you were healing him. And maybe you were healing him, he thought, just without using your powers.

Steve and Sam had been bugging him for a while to ask you out properly, but for some reason today when they started their usual post run chorus of ‘when are you going to ask Y/N out’, he was feeling bold and said he’d do it today.

So that’s where he found himself an hour later, after showering, changing and pacing circles in his room to try and gain back some of the quickly waning courage. He knocked on your door and waited nervously. You answered and invited him in, and he mentally chastised himself for not bringing flowers. He was nervous, but decided to just suck it up and power through.

“Hey doll, uh I just wanted to ask, see I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you these last few months, more than I’ve enjoyed anything in a really long time.” He was messing this up he knew it, and you were just stood there staring at him and not speaking. The young Bucky from the 40s who was charming and good with the ladies mentally kicked him to get on with it. He could do this. So he continued. “So I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner with some time.” He finally let out a breath and tried to relax whilst he waited for your response.

“Like a date?”, you asked and you looked shocked and he panicked, thinking he’d got all the signs wrong and wondering how he could back track when you smiled and said “I’d love to go out for dinner with you, definitely as a date. I honestly thought you’d never ask, like ever.”

Bucky finally relaxed at that. You said yes, you wanted to go out with him. He didn’t think he could be any happier right now. “Good. Great! I’m going on a mission with Steve and Sam tomorrow so how’s Friday night?”

“Perfect”, you smiled and he honestly didn’t think he’d ever get over seeing you smile at him like that. He was head over heels.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d agree, so I didn’t actually come up with a plan. I’ll text you OK?” He assured you as he backed out the door, wanting to keep looking at you as long as he could. When he got through the doorway he stopped, still smiling like an idiot. You walked up to the door, stood up on your tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. “I can’t wait Buck”, you whispered as you stepped back and shut the door.

B—-B

The short 2 day mission turned out to be the next big bad, and the three men had ended up having to radio in for back up. It was going to be all hands on deck, which meant that when the second quinjet arrived you were on it. Wanda had asked you to stay behind but you wanted to help, and especially wanted to be there in case a certain someone needed you.

You were out in the field helping get innocent bystanders to safety and healing up the Avengers so they could get back into the fight. You could feel it taking a toll on your body, your steps becoming more slow and sluggish as time went on. After getting a young family to safety you turned to head back to the next victim needing help when you saw what appeared to be an axe flung in your direction. You froze, your brain tired from all the healing you’d done and not thinking fast enough.

What you weren’t prepared for was the shove you felt at your side, sending you toppling to the ground. You scrambled up to see the sight of Bucky, laying on the ground at your feet, the weapon in question lodged firmly in his stomach.

“No no no, Bucky what did you do?!” You screamed as you dropped to your knees to assess the damage. Steve and Wanda were at your side in an instant, the rest of the team continuing the fight around you. You felt panicked, terrified of the sight in front of you as the blood flowed out of the wound and over your hands at a steady rate. You knew exactly what you needed to do, and you needed to do it now before it was too late and the blood loss became too much.

Taking in a big breath you steeled yourself and started giving out orders. “Steve, I need you to remove the axe, and Wanda, you need to put up a shield to protect us from further damage while I heal him. Ok, on three guys, one…” but before you could count any further the man in question croaked out your name. “Doll please, it’s OK, just let me go. I’m old, it’s my time.”

The fact that he would even suggest such a thing made you livid. “Bucky, how could you say that? You saved me, so now I’m going to save you and we don’t have time to argue this,” you shouted as your knees started to become damp with his blood.

“C’mon Buck, let her do it. She does it all the time, no big deal right,” Steve encouraged, clapping you in the shoulder whilst you nodded your head in agreement.

Wanda rested her hand gently on your shoulder then, an action that you were sure was meant to soothe, but only irritated you as you knew exactly what was coming. “You’ve never healed a wound this severe before, you don’t know what it will do to you.”

At Steve’s confused look your sister began a quick explanation on how your powers truly worked but you drowned the conversation out as Bucky weakly reached a hand up to your face. “Please Y/N,” he begged, “I don’t wanna hurt you, I love you. Just let me go.” But hearing those three words, from the man you loved, a man who was fading in front of you, just further cemented your decision in your mind. Looking at the Captain beside you, you whispered “Steve, please” and you knew you had him. He nodded grimly and on the count of three he lifted the axe, and you replaced it with your hands.

As you placed your hands over the oozing wound, you tried to concentrate everything you had into the prone man’s body, every ounce of love and every morsel of strength you had left in you. You sent a silent prayer up to heaven that you’d get to tell this man you loved him too and share your first kiss. You could feel your body weakening, and were vaguely aware that the steady flow over your hands seemed to be slowing, but you couldn’t hold it much longer, and you hoped it would be enough. Suddenly the overwhelming urge to sleep invaded your senses and you collapsed right there on top of Bucky’s chest.

You awoke to the sound of beeping. Your eyelids felt heavy and it took a few moments for you to blink them fully open, but when you finally did you were greeted by the sight of your older sister.

“Oh god, I’m so relieved you’re awake!” She cried brushing your hair off of your forehead in a motherly gesture.

“Bucky,” you managed to croak out through your dry mouth. Wanda handed you a sip of water before answering. “He’s fine. He’s currently receiving blood to replace what he lost but you did it, you healed him. Dr Cho called it a miracle.”

“Oh thank god,” you sighed “and the battle?”

“We won,” your sister informed you “and you young lady are going to be fine. The doc ran extensive tests and seems to think that you just kind of passed out from the pain, and then went into a deep sleep from the shock. But it could have been much worse, you need to be more careful.”

“In this line of work?” You joked, causing her to roll eyes. “When can I get out of here?”

At that moment, your Captain stepped into the room. “The doctor will be in to give you a once over in a moment, then you’re good to go,” he informed you. “I was just wondering if I could have a moment?” He asked tentatively. Your sister excused herself and left the two of you alone.

Steve sat down in the now empty chair. He looked tired, and you guessed he must have been sat by Bucky’s side for a good while. You were glad he had someone there.

“I wanted to thank you Y/N,” he started. “If you hadn’t been there, I would have lost my best friend all over again. The fact that it caused you so much hurt to heal him, well that is something I can never repay. I feel terrible for letting you do it, it was selfish of me.” He looked so guilty that it made you sad.

“I was going to do it anyway Steve, whether you agreed or not. There’s just no way I could have sat there and let him go.” You could feel the tears welling in your eyes at the thought of things ending before they’d even really started.

You knew Steve understood, after everything he’d been through to get his friend back he knew exactly how you felt. “Well I’m extremely grateful for that stubborn streak of yours, but now that Wanda’s filled me in on all the facts surrounding your gift we’re going to have to have a conversation about some new work protocols,” the man scolded, his captain's voice firmly back. Clearly reading the sense of dread in your face he added, “but now we have more pressing matters. There’s someone down the hall that’s desperate to see you.”

B—-B

Bucky was fed up. He hated hospitals, he’d spent far too many years of his life being poked and prodded and he was done with it. He’d laid in this bed for 2 days waiting for you to wake up and he couldn’t help but replay the last time he saw you in his mind.

He was laying on the ground, a pain searing through his stomach, when suddenly he felt a familiar warmth. A warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time, spreading from the wound throughout his whole body. This time though, the feeling was different, it was more somehow. He’d never really believed in god, or any kind of divine being, not after everything that happened to him in the past. But that feeling, he could only imagine it was how it would feel to be touched by an angel. Suddenly the pain was gone but he could still feel a heavy weight on his chest. He looked down to discover the weight he was feeling was you.

Bile had risen in this throat when he realised what had happened. Y/N had healed him, hurting yourself in the process. Wanda was shaking you, trying to wake you. Steve was checking your pulse, assuring the redhead that it was still very much there. He lifted you off Bucky’s chest, and carried you quickly to the quinjet. Wanda helped the injured soldier up and to the jet too, where he sat next to you holding your hand until Steve landed back at the compound, the medics ready to greet you all straight from the ramp.

Bucky hadn’t seen you since they’d whisked you away for testing. They’d taken him to a separate room where he was given blood to make up for what he’d lost on the battlefield. He kept asking if you were OK and if he could see you, but was told to stay put until they knew more.

As he laid there with his eyes closed his thoughts were interrupted by footsteps, followed by Steve’s voice. “You have a visitor,” he announced simply.

Bucky sighed, not feeling up for visitors at the moment. “If it’s bird brain again tell him I’m dead” he grouched. Not hearing the comeback he was expecting from his sharp tongued friend, he opened his eyes, and almost pinched himself to check if he was dreaming.

“You’re awake, oh god doll are you ok?” He asked, trying to get out of bed and go to you, forgetting about his IV and the other wires connected to him.

“Stay put,” you said rushing towards him, gently pushing him back into the bed. “I’m fine, just had a nice long sleep.”

“You scared the shit outta me. I told you to let me go. My life is not worth more than yours.” Suddenly aware that his fear could be mistaken for anger he softened his voice. “But thank you. I owe you everything.”

You just smiled back at him that beautiful smile he worried he’d never see again. “Actually, you just owe me a date.” You reached out your hand to hold his and he couldn’t resist placing a kiss in your knuckles. “As soon as I’m all fixed up and out of here, I’m all yours.” And he was. He knew now that he would only ever be yours for as long as you’d have him.

You stayed and chatted with him a while longer, never letting go of his hand, but after a while he could see your eyes falling. “Go home doll, you need your rest,” he tried to encourage.

“I am tired but I just don’t want to go,” you pouted.

“Well, you could hop up here and take a nap next to me. It’s a small bed though we might have to snuggle real close”, he suggested with his most charming smile.

“Sounds perfect,” you smiled sleepily. You took off your shoes and climbed up in the bed next to him. He lifted the blanket for you to slip under, and you immediately rested your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around to hold you close. He thought you’d fallen asleep, and he laid there watching your steady breaths until you spoke again. “When I was healing you, all I could think about was the fact that I’d never told you I loved you and I’d never kissed you, and I knew that if I never saw you again it would be my biggest regret. So I’m telling you now. I love you.”

“I love you too,” he whispered before leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss that he’d been dying for since he met you. Your lips were so soft, and your body felt so warm and so right pressed against him. The kiss started out slow and loving, Bucky pouring all the love he felt into it, but when you slipped your hand up to gently tug on the hair at the nape of his neck and deepening the kiss, things got a bit more heated. The sound you made when your tongues finally met was almost enough to make him lose control and he slid his hand down from where it was stroking your lower back over your hip and down to your thigh. He was just about to pull your leg up and over his so he could show you just how much you were affecting him when you were interrupted by an alarm. You pulled back, panic on your face and he couldn’t help but laugh. “You just got my heart racing,” he teased, nodding at the heart rate monitor that was slowly calming back down.

You laughed then and gently shoved his shoulder. You were now both lying on your sides facing each other. “Well, that’s one item ticked off the bucket list,” you quipped, before leaning forward and pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth. “To be continued,” you joked as you wiggled your eyebrows, “now let’s sleep.”

As you both snuggled back down in the tiny hospital bed, Bucky kissed the top of your hair and whispered quietly “goodnight angel.” He would never admit it to anyone but he’d missed the feeling of you healing him, the warm feeling that engulfed him when your power flowed through him was like nothing he’d ever felt before, he could understand why Wanda was concerned that people would come to rely on it too much.

But as you laid there asleep in his arms a different kind of warmth enveloped him, and as he slipped off into a restful sleep he realised that he didn’t need your powers to heal him, your love was enough, his personal angel.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

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jabbagabba · 4 years ago

Text

La La Land

Read Prologue

Warning ⚠️

Triggering subjects: disassociation, manipulation, mind control, grief. (READ AT OWN RISK)

Wandavision: spoilers (up to episode 6 - just to be safe), violence

———

Pools Of Despair

You weren’t sure how long it’d been, the drive feeling as though it had taken a lifetime. It might have been just down the road and you wouldn’t have been able to tell; time seemed to move torturously slow under Wanda’s control.

She tried to keep herself calm besides your frozen body, already thinking of a way out as she turned the steering wheel. But it was too late to go back.

‘No other way. No other way.’ The words replayed over and over in her head as she finally made it to the front of the building, and it was the first time she fully looked at you. Your face was stoic, the only sign of life being the soft breaths escaping your mouth. You couldn’t look at her - even if you wanted to - and as she reached a hand to your face, the feeling of complete numbness returned.

During the drive there had been small moments of clarity; moments where for the first time you felt in control. It was almost euphoric being able to push through the fog.

But then, as quickly as it had subsided, she would crawl her way back in.

Even now as she turned you toward her fully, you tried to swim through the heaviness, but the black swirls of grief and anguish just got tighter the harder you fought.

Wanda sighed in annoyance. “You can’t go in looking like that.” She pulled at a strand of her hair with a small huff. “Need glasses.”

You were sure if you had control of your body, the pain of your neck would be unbearable, the awkward angle surely making every muscle strain as you were forced to watch her pull apart the car.

This had to have been owned by the only man on the planet that didn’t carry sunglasses in their car. Wanda almost laughed, a punishment for stealing it? She couldn’t be sure.

“Well...” Wanda pulled the blue and white baseball cap by the brim from under her seat. “Better then nothing.” She gave a small smile as she adjusted it on your head, pulling back and grabbing your hand and letting it rest in her lap. “If there was any other way, I swear, I would let you go. But... I just... I can’t live without him.”

You said nothing as she cried.

———

“Head down, get Vision. Leave.” Her voice plagued your every step, each word carved into your brain as you finally reached the front desk.

‘Sword’ was a nice place - or at least had nice flooring - and from the bright light that filled each and every inch of the glossy tile, you knew there had to be a lot of glass. It was a government building after all.

“Can I help you?” Her voice is chirpy, a polite smile painted on her lips, you don’t need to see her eyes to know it wasn’t anything but genuine. She lets the wheels of her chair carry her forward, her computer forgotten besides her as you near the desk.

“Do you have... a meeting?” She smiles again, more forced and you’re able to see the golden pin on her chest that proudly says ‘Mary’ and try once more to float above the darkness.

“I -“ The word leaves your lips aprubtly and the fight drains from you just as fast. “I’m here to inquire about some of my father’s equipment. I’d like it back.” You let the darkness swallow you whole.

“And who are you again?” Mary is quick to pull her deskphone to her ear, hand hovering over the numbers.

———

The name that fell from her lips made Mary freeze. She looked up with wide eyes, both fearful and exited.

Starks were top priority at ‘SWORD’ - she was sure they were top priority everywhere - and as she desperately tried to recall if her boss mentioned anything about Stark equipment, the girl’s patients quickly wore thin.

“Can you please just tell me where to go? I have a long drive ahead of me.” Her voice was a sharp contrast from her apparance. The girl’s voice was stern and loud while her body was scrunched in on itself, eyes glued to the desk. Mary took a glance over the desk and saw the dark fabric of a dress, the hat didn’t even match the girl’s shoes.

“Right.” Mary said. “I’m sorry, just a little... starstruck.” She tried to keep her cool, turning again in her chair and started typing as fast as possible on her little keyboard. The atmosphere was thick with uncomfortable silence and Mary had to make sure not to shiver in the girl’s presence. She scrolled down the list of names and let out a small “ah” when she found your name. Just as quickly as she clicked on it, a pop up window filled the screen

STARK - Access Denined. Call Security

She felt sick; her nerves making her skin pucker as she tried to keep calm. When Mary finally found the courage to move, bile reached through her throat as she saw red eyes looking back.

“Ahh!” Mary was quick to jump out of her chair.

“Fine.” The girl sighed, hand flat on the counter as she took long strides around it. “If you won’t help me.” A red trail flowed through one of the doors; slithering like a snake as it wrapped around the shell shocked receptionist. “I’ll do it myself.”

———

Wanda’s mind had warped, grief and anger become one as she ripped through each and every room of the building. No one was safe from the witch’s wrath as she swung them through various glass panels and equipment. By the third turn she took, guards had given up, opting to instead try desperately to get out of her way.

She had left you at the desk, too transfixed to care and as she heard the various shouts of alarm from down the hallway, she was glad you weren’t in her way.

———

The group of four man were shocked; watching as the two guards dropped their guns and put their hands up for mercy.

“We’ll give you what you want. Please!” One of them - Felix - cried as the woman barreled through the double doors.

Wanda simply flicked her hand and he was sent flying to a wall, his partner following.

“Where is he?” Her accent was thick and the youngest tech almost asked her to repeat herself. “Where is Vision?” The stunned silence only fueled her anger. “You.” Red swirled under one of the men’s feet and lifted him from the ground. “Where?”

If the man could have, he’d be shivering in fear right about now. His life was in the hands of a deranged woman who with a simple flick of her wrist could send him plummeting down ten floors.

Wanda tightened her hold on him in warning and he knew he had to speak.

“Behind us.” He said. “There is a set of double doors, turn left and there’s an examination room.”

“He should be there!” A colleague on his left was shaking as she turn to face him. “He’s not lying.” Wanda let her power swim under him once more beofre gently letting him go.

“Thank you.” She gave a small smile. “Now, go.”

They didn’t have to be told twice.

———

Wanda felt as though she couldn’t breathe, the sight of her dead lover on the table was crippling. Vision was a dark grey; his eyes blank as they stared into her. If it wasn’t for the table itself she would have probably collapsed on to the floor as sobs took over her.

“I cant. I can’t. I -“ The words fell from her lips like a mystical chant. She couldn’t look at him anymore, his body was nothing but an empty shell of parts.

When her body turned to ash; Wanda was ready to die, her last shred of humanity died with Vision. The battlefield would be her final resting place. She chose to spend her last moments hoping that If there was a God that they’d be merciful, that she’d be allowed to spent her afterlife in blissful ignorance.

But instead she woke up.

Five years had passed and she was still there, only now she was alone. It was only after the death of Tony Stark that she let the floodgate of loss fill up her veins. While Thanos was alive, she had a mission; kill him and reverse the snap.

Wanda never imagined the pain that followed. She should have died that day, why couldn’t she have died that day?

Grief had a knack for turning the strongest people into helpless pools of despair.

Vision deserved better. That was what go her up, got her to calm her tears and push herself up. She wasn’t going to let them win. Vision was hers to mourn, to love, and hers to take care of.

She had a new mission, one that was stronger then her need to submit to pain.

But... she needed help carrying him.

———

Your body moved through the halls, following the tethered rope of energy that wrapped around your waist. If it wasn’t for your boots, your feet would have been covered in cuts from the sharp edges of the broken glass that filled the hallways.

The fog had cleared more then before and if you tried hard enough, you might’ve even been able to pull free completely. Wanda was exhausted and the fight had been ripped from you So you let her pull you, let the fog seep through every inch of you.

And as you entered the small room, you forgot you were suppose to care anymore.

“I need you to hold onto his legs.” She said softly, hand stroking his cheek. “Easier to carry both of you.” Your body moved again and you placed a gentle hand onto vision’s ankle.

Wanda wiped the last of her tears away, grabbed onto his arm, and all three of you were lifted off the ground.

———

Hot air blew through Wanda’s hair making her hands continuously push back strands from her face as she walked. The afternoon sun was unrelenting and she had to take several short breaks.

The car was too dangerous to return to - a swarm of agents was not something she wanted to deal with - and controlling someone for almost 24 hour straight took a lot out of her. Her hold on you was weak enough for you to sometimes fully take over, her control turning into a dull ache at the back of your brain.

As she walked in front of you thoughts of running flooded through your brain but the walking had tired your body out, and you were sure that if her little pushes weren’t there, you’d have already collapsed. Even if you had the strength to do it, the empty roads had long ago turned into tall trees and bush. You were in the middle of nowhere and getting loss in the woods with a heartbroken witch was not something you wanted to deal with. So, like a trained puppy, you followed silently behind Vision’s dragging body. It wasn’t hard to keep up, she was as slow as she could be while Vision’s body left a dirt trail.

“Break.” Wanda breathed. Who knew an empty little spot of grass would be so inviting? “Sit.” You felt a small push and follow it down to the ground. You let your fingers grip the direr under them, the cool breeze making you sigh.

“Where-“ The sound of your voice startled both of you but she stayed still. “Where are we going?”

She said nothing, choosing to instead turn on her knees and pull Vision forward by the arms.

“When I was little-“ Wanda smiled to herself as she stared down at Vision. “- I use to dream about this field. Me and Peitro went past it everyday during the summer. It had all these small flowers growing.” You listen intently as she giggles, eyes losing focus as she is hit with the memory. “I always tried to sneak past the fence... but, I was alway stopped by someone.” Her mouth twitches and you feel the pulsing return in your neck. “It’s probably nothing but dirt now, like everything.”

“Where are we going, Wanda?” You try to keep your voice soft, afraid of ruining the small moment as you reached out for her but she was quick to stop you, hand glowing red and inches away from your face.

“Don’t.” She warns. You nod in silent apology.

“We’re not far from a road.” Wanda let’s her hand fall back to her side. “I want you go and call whoever you need to.” You’re almost startled when her control leaves fully from your body, it almost feels empty. “Tell them what I did, or don’t, I don’t care. I have what I want.”

“Wanda -“

“Please.” The crack in her voice makes tears pool in your eyes. “Just go.”

You stand on shaking legs. The world was spinning and you felt as though you had just gotten off a rollercoaster but you tried to steady yourself. Unsure of where to go, you turn to her once more for guidance and she simply points behind you.

Your conscious wouldn’t let you leave. Wanda was tired and you were afraid of leaving her alone. Regardless of what she did; you knew you couldn’t blame her, she had lost everyone.

In a way, so did you.

“I’m sorry about Vision.” Wanda looked up again and gave you a small nod. “About Pietro, about everyone. I wish it was different.”

“Me too, Stark.” She let her fingers wrap around your hand and squeezed. The warmth from the dock returned and you couldn’t help but give her a small grin of gratitude. “I meant what I said at the funeral.”

Both of you were so wrapped up in your own little bubble, you didn’t even question why the birds stopped.

————

Tag list (open, just ask)

@white-wolf-buckaroo @y-napotat

All my stuff is open, and I’m always happy to hear from people so feel free to let me know what ya thought. I always get stuck halfway through writing but I hope it wasn’t too hard to read.

Next chapter will be fun.

#wandavison x reader #wandavision imagine #wanda maximoff imagine #stark!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #teen!reader #daughter!reader #dark!wanda #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #Wanda vision

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librapjmx · 3 years ago

Text

remember, my love | o1

summary: after a car accident the love of your life loses his memory. you’re deciding to keep shut about your relationship and make him remember your relationship on his own. somehow, you start to regret not telling him in first place

member: hoseok x reader

"Accidents sometimes affect a patient's mind so much that they either lose their memory or remember things very faintly."

You took a deep breath at the words of the doctor while squeezing the hand of Hoseok's mother from behind. She was sitting on the chair and you stood behind her, comforting her in the doctor's consulting room. You bit your lip as your gaze dropped to his father's place who was sitting next to his wife.

"Medically, this state is called retrograde amnesia. Patients like them lead a normal life, but they can't remember their past..." he stopped mid-sentence as he took a deep breath preparing on how to tell you, "That's just what happened to your son."

"Doctor, please just tell us what he has!" Hosoek's mother sobbed in pain.

The doctor bit his lower lip as he took a pen to play along. Indeed, he was slightly nervous and was worried about your reactions but as a doctor, he must tell you even if it's the worst news he can give to you.

"He lost his memory."

The whole world stopped right in front of you and your smile dropped. The smile which was caused by Hoseok's eyes moving and opening while you held his hand tightly. Just as he pecked his eyes open you ran up to the doctor, yelling out of happiness. It's insane how fast one's emotions can change by single words. Your vision became blurry and you stepped back, your back hitting the wall behind you.

"He doesn't remember me? His parents? His sister? Anyone?" You mumbled, your hand reaching out to the chair in front of you. You felt yourself getting dizzy as you supported yourself on the chair from not passing out.

"With great difficulty, we have convinced him that you are his family." He added, trying to make you all feel slightly better.

"Doctor, when will he regain his memory?" His sister Dawon asked, sounding extremely calm which was slightly penetrating. The day you told her about his accident she went crazy and threw all the things around her in anger and sorrow. She was crying her eyeballs out and now, she was calm which made you worry about her.

"It might take days, months or even years or maybe he will never regain his memory at all. He might have to spend a lifetime in this state. Nothing can be said for sure." The doctor was switching gazes between you four.

"We do try to make patients regain their memory by reminding them of past incidents. But you must be careful. Keep in mind that the slightest bit of pressure on his mind can drive him insane! He could suffer a brain hemorrhage. He could even die!" His tone was deadly serious, and he didn't mind telling you this ugly truth to protect his patient.

You closed your eyes as you let the tears fall, making you feel the pain even harder. You felt like it was your fault.

"If possible, take him to a place where his memories lay. His hometown, anywhere. Try to remind him of any old incidents." Suddenly, the doctor laid his eyes on you. Your heart jumped in fear as you realized that you were part of his past. You would be part of his future as well but now that you're not even in his past you must be a part of his present. But, can you tell him that you are his girlfriend? Would it cause damage? You didn't want to cause more harm and damage than he already had to go through.

"When will he be discharged?" You asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"He still has to recover fully but it will take at least two to three days." He nodded. You all left the office with sad expressions written all over your faces. In front of Hoseok's door, his best friend Namjoon waited. Once you made eye contact with Namjoon you smiled faintly. Before Hoseok's mother went in you held her back.

You thought deeply about this and weren't sure if you had to or if it was a decision you made abruptly. No matter what, you wanted him to be healthy and happy again even if his happiness excluded you.

"I don't want to tell him that I'm his girlfriend. Not now." You said, looking at the ground. You felt Namjoon's gaze on you as Hoseok's mother nodded, wanting to see her son as soon as possible. Indeed, you knew that this was the last thing she had to worry about now. No matter how much his parents like you, their son is more precious than anything else in this world. You knew that they are accepting and tolerant of your decision and that they never ask why. As for now, it was important for you to keep them shut about your relationship. The two of them went in and you looked up into the questioning gazes of Dawon and Namjoon.

"What are you doing? How can you not tell him something important like that?" Dawon furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"You two shared five years together, you can't just erase those memories just because he can't remember." Namjoon stood up from the chair on which he was sitting on.

"I won't erase them," you assured him and turned around to the door as you looked through the small window, seeing him trying to smile at his parents, "I don't want to pressure him in spending time with me. For him, a stranger. I don't want him to come to our shared flat and make him sleep next to a person which he has no feelings or connections with." You felt your throat burning as you wanted to cry out all the pain.

"Bullshit!" Dawon exclaimed and grabbed your shoulder to turn you around.

"Hoseok was head over heels for you! He won't forget the love of his life and the girl he wanted to propose to if it weren't for that fucking accident!" Her voice was quiet hoarse as if she was about to break down. Your heart dropped as you remembered the night where his accident happened.

He called you, telling you that he wanted to meet you badly. You were working and happy that your shift was ending in a couple of hours. If it weren't for you to ask him to pick you up, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Perhaps, the two of you would be snuggling up to each other. Now, you knew why he was so nervous when he called you. At the same time, he sounded so happy and joyful. If it weren't for that accident you two would've made plans for your marriage.

He wanted to propose ...

You started to chuckle loudly, in between sobs and cries, not sure how to feel about this whole situation right now. You turned around to the window, your hands reaching out to him but only touching the cold glass of the window. He shouldn't be lying there. You bit your lip as your gaze landed on your hand, examining the ring finger where his proposal ring should be lying on. The ache in your heart was indescribable. You wanted to cry, but no tears left your eyes. Instead, you started smiling widely as you turned around to Namjoon and Dawon.

"I don't know what destiny decided. If we are really meant for each other or not." You looked at Dawon, "Hoseok has lost his memory and since I and his love for me are part of his memory, he will most likely forget about me as well." Biting your lip, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"If our love is meant to be then I'm sure that fate will bring us together again. If I really have a special place in his heart he will remember me. I'm sure he will. But I want him to decide at the end." You clarified, sounding determined about your decision.

"But what if..." Namjoon started but you shut him off by holding out your hand and shaking your head. You knew that if anything goes wrong and he doesn't love you again, you must let him go.

"Just please accept my decision for now. I don't want to pressure him. I just want him to fall in love with me again and not being forced to love me just because we tell him that I'm his girlfriend." The two of them nodded quite frustrated because they didn't want you to suffer from heartbreak if life chooses a different direction for him.

You turned around again and opened the door, going into the nursing room. He heard someone entering the room and investigated your direction. His eyes lit up and you smiled softly at him which he tried to return.

"Hey, Hoseok" Dawon waved her hands at him and took his hands in hers. She grinned widely at him, her eyes were red from crying as she looked at his face.

"Dawon" He breathed out and for a slight moment you thought that he regained his memory, but you remembered the doctor saying that they convinced him of who his family is. She wrapped her fragile arms around his neck as she hugged him wholeheartedly. Slowly, she leaned back and stepped back, letting him get to know you and Namjoon.

"Hoseok, that's Namjoon. Your best friend." Namjoon didn't know what to do and he felt slightly embarrassed about his behavior. After all, it's really his best friend. Nonetheless, Hoseok gave Namjoon a wide smile in return as he nodded. Once his eyes land on you, his smile dropped, and he cleared his throat. Everyone had their gazes on you and waited for your answer, curiously.

"I'm Y/N ..." you mumbled, feeling the tears coming up and your throat burning from holding them back, "We're friends." He just nodded and tried to smile which didn't happen at all. You felt his stare not leaving your direction and you hoped that he tried to remember you. Little did you know that it wasn't happening.

"I, I will leave now. I'll visit you tomorrow again." You reached out your hand for Hoseok to shake it, but he remained confused. When he realized your gesture he hesitantly grabbed it. His warmth was giving you the relaxing feeling which he always gave you. When you came home from work, a little affection and skinship would be enough to calm your senses. Now, you had to start to relax on your own. Now, you had to get used to deal with situations on your own.

"I'll drop you at home," Namjoon said and you nodded, saying your goodbyes to his parents.

You and Namjoon left the hospital quietly, not talking to each other while hopping into his car. He grabbed the steering wheel firmly as he focused on the road. The thought of his best friend losing his memory, was a miserable feeling. He felt powerless and hoped for his best friend to recover as soon as possible. To remember the old times, their childhood and their friendship.

"He will be okay..." you assured him, trying to calm him down since you felt him being tense overall. He chuckled, the sorrow was written in his cracking voice.

"I hope so."

Somehow, you felt a little selfish. Of course, the first thing you want is Hoseok to regain his memory. Nonetheless, it was an awful accident and he was lucky to survive. Him living is more important than him loving you. If he takes his breath, in and out, you'll be able to love him. You'll be able to see him anytime you want to.

"We have to be there for him, no matter what. We must help him regain his memory and remember all the beautiful moments we all shared together. He always made sure to give us hope and now, it's our turn to give him hope in recovering." You said, seeing your shared house with Hoseok from your angle.

"He is so lucky to have you..." Namjoon breathed out after he stopped the car in front of your flat.

"To be honest, I'm lucky to have him." You smiled at Namjoon, thanking him for dropping you home. You got out of the car and waved to him as he drove off.

Taking a deep breath, you turned around, slowly. You started at your door, approaching it while you remembered the time you agreed in moving together. He was so joyous and gleeful that he started looking for a flat. You left it for him to decide because you trusted his taste and eventually you started loving the one he chooses. You opened the door and felt the warmth surrounding your body as soon as you stepped a foot in your home.

Your shared home.

"Did you pack all of your belongings?" Namjoon asked through the phone speaker, you could hear the hurry in his voice.

"Yes, I'm waiting for you." You said as he assured you that he would be picking you up in less than 20 minutes.

You weren't going on a holiday trip or on a business trip. You were leaving with Hoseok and his family to his hometown. Gwangju.

A couple days after his recovery, Hoseok's father decided to leave for his hometown in hope to have him regain his memory again. Gwangju is where his childhood lays and where his memories began. You pretty much knew everything about him but no details about his past life, you didn't ask him because you didn't think his past was necessary at all since you loved the present Hoseok.

Of course, you wanted to help him regain his memories and on the top of that, you couldn't let him go all alone since you had a mission. The mission, to make him love you again. Love ...

Your phone vibrated, signaling you to come out to leave. Namjoon and you drove separately from the Jung family. The distance from Seoul to Gwangju was far that's why you booked tickets to fly for less than an hour to his hometown.

"You got everything?" Namjoon asked while he helped you put the suitcases in the luggage space. You nodded, smiling widely at him.

"Have you ever been to Gwangju?" Namjoon asked, focusing on the road in front of him.

"Before his parents moved to Seoul we went there a few times. But the last time was probably two years ago." You stared at your fingers which were laying on your lap while you played with them.

"Are you worried?" He asked, noticing the tension between you two. You and Namjoon were good friends since you started dating Hoseok. He always supported you two and helped you to get along with each other. Even when both of your had arguments and didn't talk to each other, he made sure to bring both of you together. He always was a helping hand, as a friend for you and as a brother for Hoseok. That's why you hoped for the two of them to get used to each other again.

"I'm fine." You lied. You weren't fine at all. Not when Hoseok was suffering and forgetting about his past.

You got out of the car and took your luggage before you went to the airport to meet the others at the check-in. From behind you saw Hoseok and his sister talking to each other. He was laughing at something she said. Something in your stomach started twirling at the sight of his expressions, the way he laughed wholeheartedly at her. After the day where the doctor told you that he is suffering from amnesia, you made sure to visit him as long as he had to be hospitalized. You tried to keep the contact, calling him and asking how he was. Just like two strangers. After they decided to leave Seoul for Gwangju, you left everything behind and agreed in accompanying them. That was a good way to spend time with him.

You greeted his parents after Namjoon and you gave the check-in your luggage and took your boarding pass. Turning around to Dawon, you wrapped your arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm glad you will accompany us." She whispered into your ear and leaned back.

You turned to Hoseok, smiling at him while he gave you a wide smile. He didn't change at all. He was always so warm and gentle towards other people.

"Destination: Gwangju. All passengers on Korean Air must go to the gate. The plane will begin boarding in 10 minutes." The woman called out from the speakers and all of you gathered around the departures lounge to find the right gate, written on your boarding pass.

After getting on the plane you sat down, right next to Namjoon who was on the side of the window. When you turned your head to look behind you, you saw Hoseok sitting right behind you, on the other side. He was next to his sister and stared down at the phone, swiping left and right. Probably looking at some pictures. Your eyes meet Dawon's who started mouthing some words. You furrowed your eyebrows, not understanding what she was referring to. Then she started pointing towards your seat and hers. You observed the people next to you, signaling yourself that she was referring to you and wanted to switch seats. You shook your head hesitantly, but she stood up.

"Y/N, let's switch seats, I have to talk to Namjoon!" She lied, passing by Hoseok and running up to you. You shook your head, but she grabbed your arms as she helped you up. Once you were on your feet, she pushed you to sit down, giving the confused Namjoon a wide smile.

"The passengers are asked to sit down and take their seatbelts on. Ready for takeoff!" The speaker said, and you had no other chance than to sit down next to Hoseok who was just as confused as Namjoon. You sighed, letting yourself fall into the seat while putting on your seatbelt.

"As a friend, you're not that happy to be able to sit next to me..." Hoseok chuckled, concentrating on the seatbelt.

"No, it's not like that. It's just-" you stopped mid-sentence, trying to think of a good answer. To be honest, you didn't know why you were afraid of facing him- "It's just that I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Nah, I'm good." He clarified, staring into your eyes with a huge grin, "We're friends after all."

Friends.

You nodded, smiling a little at him. You had to get easier next to him, simply calmer and more comfortable. After all, he still was the man whom you love. It felt strange to not be able to hold his hands or kiss him whenever you want.

"Y/N?" Ah, the way he said your name was music to your ears.

"Hm?"

"Can you tell me something about us?" He plainly asked, not hesitating. As much as you were afraid of this question, you waited for it to come out. That day was today. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you turned around to him.

"Us?" Oh, I could tell you so much about us.

He nodded. You didn't want to lie to him so much and maybe your real encounter would help him to remember even the slightest bit. The only lie he will think of a truth as is you being his "friend".

"We," Using the pronoun to specify the two of you and reassuring that there is something between you to, means a lot to you, "As if it was planned by fate." You started, thinking back to the time where you left the huge building in which you were working in.

Walking up to the coffee shop in which you were always spending your lunch break. You were working on in a radio show as a radio presenter in 'iwishradio'. It was a tough week since a huge scandal broke down and with that two actors got married and you tried everything to get them to your radio show for more quotas and listeners.

Once you entered the shop, you were greeted by the part-time worker Yunji who was a high-school senior, trying to earn money for her college entry. You smiled at her, stopping behind a man who was ordering his coffee. You looked up at his head from behind. He seemed to be very tall that's why you stepped aside to have a look at the sweets they were selling along with the coffee.

"That's 5,000 Won, Mister," Yunji said, pushing the buttons on the cash register and waiting for the man to pay.

When it took too long you decided to side eye the man who was touching his chest and went through his jacket. You looked up and stared up at him, wondering what the issue was. He let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Where is my purse-" he grabbed into his pockets, not finding anything- "I'm sure I've brought it with myself..." His head turned to the side, noticing that someone stood by. At that moment, his blood rushed up to his cheeks, shading it in a soft pink as his eyes met your confused ones.

"Ah, excuse me, please go on until I find my purse." He stuttered in a small panicky voice.

You bowed slightly, thanking him for letting you get your coffee.

"Yunji, I'll take the Americano as always." You said, turning around to the man who was still struggling to find his purse. You pulled out your own purse and turned around to Yunji, handing her money.

"Can you take the Misters coffee on me?" You asked, handing her more money to pay the coffee of the struggling man. You turned around to the man and smiled, "It once happened to me as well, so don't worry about it."

He bowed his head and smiled softly, slightly embarrassed "Thank you. Please let me pay you back-" you cut him off, reaching for the two coffee cups and handing him one- "Don't worry about it. It's okay, it's on me."

He grabbed the coffee, biting his lip as he felt himself getting even more awkward.

You looked at your wrist, checking the time, "I have to leave already! Enjoy your coffee, Mister!" You took off, realizing that you had an interview ahead which you couldn't attend late. Once you reached the building you ran up the stairs of the huge building, reaching the presenters' room. You took a sip of your coffee as you sat down on your chair, placing the earbuds on your ears. You stared at your director, waiting for their signal for your start.

He had a wide grin on his face, enjoying the story you told him.

"That's it?" He asked when you stopped telling him about the rest. You swallowed hard because after that it wasn't fate who brought you together. It was the choice of you two over time, but you didn't know how to tell him that in a non-romantic way.

The next day was a cold winter day. It wasn't snowing but rather was it outstandingly windy and the sky was dark and grey as if it was about to rain on the first day of February. Showing you that winter is slowly disappearing. You pressed your coat tightly against your chest as you entered the coffee shop.

"The same?" Yunji as you gave her a slight nod, rubbing your hands together. Just as you wanted to pay her, someone reached out to the cashier and handed her the money. A shadow appeared next to you and you looked to your side. That's when you noticed the man from yesterday. Your mouth dropped as you wanted to say something.

"It's on me today." He smiled, taking the cup of coffee to hand it to you. You smiled as you gladly accepted his repay.

"Thanks." Nodding, you went up to an empty chair next to the huge window, watching the people passing by. Slowly, you started nipping at your coffee as you examined the sky, getting a feeling that it will rain any minute soon.

You were brought back to reality once you heard a chair being pulled back and the man from earlier sitting down in front of you.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you leaned back, "Excuse me?" You mumbled, not sure of what he wanted from you.

"It's sad to see people sitting alone, I like to accompany them-" he clarified, bringing his coffee up to his mouth as he stared out the window to watch the people.

You opened your mouth but closed it right away, not knowing what to say. It was a gentle move of him and talking down to that would be no good, so you let it slide. You had a cheeky smile plastered on your face as you looked out the window, not wanting him to see your smile.

"Oh," your eyes widened in confusion as the first raindrops fell on the window, "Isn't it too soon to rain already?" you questioned, sighing. How will you be able to walk in the rain without getting wet?

"Then, I will get going first," you said, standing up. When you reach the building, you had to make sure to get plenty of time to dry. You said your goodbye to Yunji as you stood in front of the entry, wondering how you will reach your destiny.

"Why did you make it rain now?" You looked up at the sky, obviously talking to God in your sorrow. You didn't want to get wet but still, you had to appear on time.

"Okay. Close your eyes and run!" You mumbled to yourself. Just as you wanted to shut your eyes, you saw an umbrella opening in front of you. You winced since you were startled by the sudden move. Once you looked up, you saw the man from earlier holding an umbrella above you.

"Where are you heading to? I will accompany you." He said, staring straight into your eyes. He sure was a head taller than you.

"Ah, Mister, you really don't have to do that-" he cut you off.

"You will be soaked in water if you don't take the chance to reach your destiny dryly." He had a huge grin on his lips as watched you biting your lower lip.

"Iwishradio station." You swallowed hard as you turned your head, embarrassed to look into his eyes since his face was too close for your pleasure. He nodded as the two of you left for your workplace.

"Are you working there?" He asked and you nodded.

"I'm a radio presenter of iwishradio." You added and his eyes lit up.

"Oh! Are you perhaps Y/F/N?" Your name left his lips so casually and you felt how your heart jumped at his excitement. You nodded.

"I love your format. The interview, your topics, it's so entertaining and nice to listen to your decent voice." He started praising your show and you felt your cheeks heat up at the compliment.

"Thank you for listening..." you mumbled in a soft voice.

You reached the building fast and you wondered if you were at your workplace this fast as well or if it was the illusion of time passing fast.

"Thank you for your company. In the shop and until here..." you bowed slightly.

He pulled out his hand before you left, "Hoseok. Jung Hoseok." Your eyes landed on his hand as you hesitantly reached out for it. His warm hands surrounded yours, giving you a soft feeling of affection and warmth on this cold day. His gently squeeze was giving you the feeling that this wouldn't be your last encounter.

You looked out the window and observed the breathtaking view of Gwangju as the plane was making itself ready to land.

"After that, we met often in the coffee shop and eventually we became friends." You brought a cut to your beginning, shorting it down to more than a half and changing it. Once he will remember you will make sure that he will remember the genuine rest himself. Until then the rest of your encounter must be kept a secret. After that greeting and after you two exchanging names your story began, not as friends but as more.

"You must be a really good friend." You heard Hoseok mumbling. You turned your head to look at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I mean..." his gaze dropped down on his fingers, "Thank you!" He declared, looking up into your eyes, "Thank you for coming all the way to my hometown only to help me to regain my memories. I must've been a lucky person to have friends like you and Namjoon." He said with a note of relief, a huge smile plastered on his face. You returned his smile, holding yourself back from hugging him. Turning your head to the window, you watched how the plane landed on its gate.

You left the airport after taking your luggage and waiting for a taxi. Hoseok's family wanted you to stay in their old apartment together with them. You insisted on renting a good and cheap place, but they disapproved that's why you and Namjoon followed their taxi. While you and Dawon would be sharing a room, Namjoon and Hoseok would share a room together. How you wished to be in Namjoon's position.

Once you settled down, you started unpacking your items. Dawon decided to take Hoseok out so she could show him a little around. You cleaned your room and helped Dawon with her luggage. At that moment, someone knocked lightly on the door.

"Yes?" You called out, your eyes on the clothes which you were folding and putting into the wardrobe.

You turned around as you heard the person falling on the mattress which was lying on the ground. Namjoon took a deep breath as if he was relieved to finish his room up.

"What's up?" you giggled, concentrating on your clothes.

"I finished." You saw from the corner of your eye that he turned his body into your direction while supporting his head with his hand. "So, what's your plan?" He questioned. You furrowed your eyebrows as you turned around.

"Plan? What plan?" You asked.

"The 'Make Hoseok Fall In Love With Me Again'-Plan" He pointed out, showing you the question marks with his fingers.

You bit your lip and put the last clothing into the wardrobe before turning around and sitting down in front of him.

"I actually have no idea." You remarked, groaning loudly as you let your back touch the wall behind you.

"You're a genius Y/N." He suggestively eyed you in a mocking way.

"I know right!" You replied with a huge mark of sarcasm. He sighed as he sat up straight to look into your eyes.

"How about you spend some time with him? Alone. You and him?" It didn't feel like a statement, more like a question which he wanted to get answered.

"I'm afraid-"you admitted.

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid to face the reality." You whispered, looking blankly into the emptiness.

"What reality? Y/N, you have to face it, to find the reality!" He encouraged and of course you knew that he was right. You were in a long and deep relationship with Hoseok and you're afraid that he wouldn't remember your past at all. You were afraid of him not loving you, but your mission was to make him love you again and that's why you had to fight. Fight for his love.

"You're right Namjoon! I really have to do it." You said and stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked you as you chuckled.

"I'm hungry, you're coming with me?" He was a little startled but stood up and followed you.

After finishing your meal, you waited for Hoseok and his sister to arrive since it was pretty late already. Tomorrow would be your day, you thought. The doorbell rang, and you ran up to the door, greeting the siblings who entered the house with a grin plastered on their faces.

"You're late." Hoseok's mother stated, looking at the time.

"We caught up with someone," Dawon said and sat down next to her mother. Dawon's mother furrowed her eyebrows as she waited for Dawon to speak.

"Kim Chaeyeong? Do you remember her?" She asked. Mrs. Jung narrowed her eyes as she tried to come up with a picture of a face, fitting to the name. Once she remembered, her eyes lit up.

"Kim Chaeyeong? Hoseok's high school friend?" She said with conviction and Dawon nodded.

"And guess what?" She looked at Hoseok who approached his mother slowly, "Hoseok remembered her!" She beamed as his mother stared at Hoseok, eyes filling with tears. Never in her life would she believe that Hoseok would start doing progress in such a small amount of time. She was proud of him.

"I just remembered her as a person in my life, but I really don't remember what we did in the past or any other memories with her, to be honest," Hoseok admitted, turning around to look at Namjoon and you with a smile. You were happy about his small progress but couldn't help but feel a little unimportant and agonized at his first memory which was way back when you met him. You never heard of that name in your life, so you thought that she wasn't important at all. Hoseok would've told you about her if they were still friends even today.

"Ah Dawon, you're tiring my son. Let him rest a little, yeah?" She playfully hit her daughter's shoulder as she grabbed Hoseok's hand, squeezing it firmly.

"I'm tired, to be honest." He admitted, stretching his arms.

"Let's sleep then. Tomorrow will be a better day!" Dawon clapped in her hands as she ran up to you and grabbed your arm to guide you to your room. Once she entered the room, her jaw dropped down.

"Ah, my sister-in-law is such a gracious human being. I'm lucky!" She wrapped her arms around you before she threw herself on the mattress.

The word sister-in-law was making your heart flutter. You still pulled your index-finger in front of your lips to shush her. "Shh, he will hear!" You whispered and laid down yourself. Dawon didn't even change her clothes nor did she remove her make-up. Indeed, she was tired, and you didn't want to make a feel even more tired. You jumped into your pajamas and stared at the ceiling.

"Dawon?" You voiced in a casual tone.

"Hm?" You noticed that she was already half asleep.

"Who is Chaeyeong?" You asked her as you heard her shifting.

"Just an old high-school friend of Hoseok" She mumbled, her face facing the pillow, swallowing the words which left her mouth, "Don't worry. They're just frie-" she couldn't finish her sentence since she fell asleep, snoring softly. You giggled as you stood up to grab yourself a glass of water.

"Hoseok?" You asked, a little startled once you entered the kitchen. He was looking out for something in the fridge.

"Y/N? Why are you still awake?" He questioned, closing the fridge.

"I wanted to grab a glass of water." You smiled, going up to the small cupboard to get yourself a cup. "What about you?"

"I, I was hungry." He scratched his neck a little flustered about his answer. You chuckled slightly, remembering how he always went up to the fridge to grab a late-night snack. You nipped on the glass of water.

"Should, should I prepare something for you?" You asked hesitantly but he shook his hands in front of you.

"No, I, I will do it myself-"He started but you cut him off.

"It's not like I prepare food for you the first time at this hour..." You accidentally spluttered.

"Excuse me?" He surely was confused about your words. Your eyes widened as you realized what you've just said.

"I, I mean we're friends. Of course, I prepared meals for you, as well as for Namjoon and other friends and family who mean a lot to me." You're such a fool Y/N.

He chuckled, being really overwhelmed by your decent behavior. You turned around as you grabbed some ingredients to cook for a single person. He was quiet, and you made him some ramen which was the fastest and easiest meal you could prepare, to leave immediately. As if you two were strangers, you tried to make yourself feel easier and comfortable around him without getting flustered at all.

"Thank you, Y/N!" He sat down, grabbing the chopsticks.

"Enjoy your meal!" You mumbled, smiling softly at him which he returned.

Before you left, you turned around again. "Hoseok?"

"Hm?"

"Can you perhaps leave an empty space in your busy schedule-" You looked up into his eyes –" For me?" Biting your lip, you waited for his answer. He giggled softly.

"With pleasure." He breathed out, smiling widely at you.

"Thank you!" The huge grin on your face wasn't leaving as you went back into your room, lying down on the mattress.

Everything will be fine ...

The next morning you woke up to Dawon, throwing her clothes from one side to the other side of the room. Just as you wanted to sit up straight, you were thrown by a cloth on your face. Wincing at the sudden darkness, you sighed as you grabbed the cloth and threw it back to Dawon.

"What are you doing this early?" You rubbed your eyes after you looked at the time which showed 7am.

"The earlier one wakes up, the better the day gets." She pointed out as you stood up.

"Bullshit! My day was never good when I woke up at 6am for school!" You clarified and scratched your back, bending down a little. You narrowed your eyes, trying to get used to the light which surrounded you as you fully concentrated on the scratch on your back.

"Morning girls!" You heard Hoseok's voice from behind you, making you jump from his sudden appearance. You felt the heat rising and your cheeks redden. Normally, you wouldn't think about it and start being your casual self next to him but now, you two were only friends who try to build up their relationship.

"M-Morning!" You greeted him, but he was already gone. You heard soft laughter from behind you and turned around to Dawon who was hiding her face from laughing too much.

"What's so funny?" You asked, stepping closer to her.

"Well, you two don't feel like a normal couple-"you cut her off, throwing your hands in the air.

"Well, excuse me. My boyfriend lost his memory." She shook her head at your statement and turned around to look for a nice outfit.

"Yah! The yellow shirt in your hand is mine!" You called out before leaving the room to take a warm shower and changing into some nice and comfy clothes.

The breakfast table was surrounded by every family member, enjoying their meal comfortably. You sat down next to Mrs. Jung as you started eating. Nobody talked while eating, making the comfortable enjoyment turn into an awkward atmosphere. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Just as you wanted to stand up, Hoseok held out his hand, stopping you.

"It's probably Chaeyeong. She wanted to hang out with me-" He put the last bit in his mouth before leaving the table.

You licked your lips as you pressed them together, watching his empty seat. Your gaze went to Namjoon, noticing the confusion in his expressions.

That's exactly how all the other days went by. It was either Hoseok spending time with Chaeyong or Chaeyong with him. He was barely home and forgot about his promise. Even though you asked him about the empty space, he promised to spend time with you the next day. On the next day, he was again busy with his high-school friend. If this was helping him to regain his memory, then you didn't want to stop him. He was getting happier and each day he remembered the old times in Gwangju and you hoped for him to remember the past in Seoul, so you would appear again. The woman he wanted to propose to.

One day you went into his room and leaned on the doorframe. He was texting on his phone, smiling widely at the screen.

"Hoseok?" You mumbled, approaching him slowly.

He looked up and lifted his eyebrows.

"Can I take you away tomorrow?" You asked and waited for his answer. Little did you know that he would cancel. Just as you wanted to turn around, he chuckled.

"Sure thing!" Your eyes widened.

"Oh, ok!" you exclaimed and turned around.

Finally, a day where the two of you could spend some time together. It wasn't as if you two never talked to each other within these days. He was still coming home, and you shared funny and joyful moments. Watching series and dramas and even playing games with each other but not just the two of you. It was always another family member of him who joined in. His promise was an opportunity to let you two be alone.

You prepared a picnic-date and told Namjoon to prepare beforehand. He woke up early and went to the park to create a beautiful atmosphere while you picked your outfit. Today was a nice weather and a warm day. That's why you decided to wear a spring dress. Casual but cute and it was Hoseok's favorite dress on you. A white dress with the purple pattern. He knocked on your door and you turned around.

He stopped in astonishment, staring at you as if he was thinking about something. You stood in front of him, quietly, not trying to break his thoughts or the memories connected with this dress. He furrowed his eyebrows and had a soft smile plastered on his face. Just as you wanted to ask him what he thought about, he shook his head.

"C'mon!" He exclaimed and turned around again.

You'll remember me Hoseok. You'll remember us!

He took the bicycle and hopped on it. You sat behind him and hesitantly wrapped your arms around his stomach. Slowly, you let your head lean on his shoulder as you remembered the times the two of you bicycled together. Sometimes he was picking you up with his bicycle from work and the other days you were admiring the view. After telling him the destination he drove off.

"So Hoseok, I hope you like picnicking!" You exclaimed from behind and heard a soft giggle from his lips.

"I love that" he chuckled and from behind you saw the set picnic. To be honest, if it weren't for the help of Namjoon then you wouldn't be able to do that all.

You hopped off the bicycle and led him to the small picnic-blanket, opening the casket and pulling out small meals you've prepared. Actually, you didn't feel like eating at all, but you just wanted his company. He let out a deep sigh as he let himself fall on the blanket, lying down as he watched the sky.

"Such a beautiful sight... at those time I really am thankful to be alive" he mumbled and smiled as you watched him admiringly. You lied down, your faces next to each other even though your bodies looked into opposite directions. Indeed, it was so astonishing and beautiful.

"Look at these birds, leaving their hometown and moving in a new direction to start a new life, a new journey at their new place..." you mumbled, examine the sky as you pointed at the birds which you were referring to.

"And a new story..." Hoseok added and you turned your head to look at him, a wide smile plastered on your face. "Like mine." Your smile dropped faintly as you cleared your throat. His eyes weren't leaving the sky, "After losing my memory, I am also moving in a new direction. I sometimes wonder what my past was like. Was it better than what I have now? Or did I lose something precious?" He chuckled, turning his head to you, "And then, I laugh it off. What is lost, is not coming back. And what I have, I don't want to lose."

He was looking deep into your soul and you were hoping that with the last part he meant you.

"Sometimes the past doesn't return. What's left are our memories. And if there is lying someone precious in your memories, then I'm sure they'll return to your life." You assured him, hoping to give him a signal for a memory in his past which both of you shared.

You two stood in the position of only staring at each other until the grumbling of his stomach broke the eye contact. The atmosphere filled with soft giggles from you two and he stood up straight. He turned around to look at you as a chuckle left his lips before he spoke.

"I guess it's time to eat."

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goldentournesol · 4 years ago

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The Receptionist and the Profiler (Epilogue)

Chapter Eight: Epilogue

(Spencer Reid x f!Reader)

Series Masterlist

General Masterlist

A/N: Welcome to the final chapter of the series. this is just a summary of what Spencer and Reader’s life is like in the future. thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I’ve enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. So without further ado, enjoy.

Working for the FBI made for a pretty wild life. Even though Y/N wasn’t an agent, her life had been caught up with work just like all the other agents’. It also didn’t help that her boyfriend was endangered practically every minute of every day. It was hard, but Spencer and Y/N made it work. Among the darkness, they created light for each other. Spencer was no longer dreading coming home to a quiet life of reading and rereading his favorite books. He had a partner, he had a lover, someone to depend on. She was there for him as he grieved the loss of his friend and coworker deeply and she was there when he struggled with his excruciating migraines. They walked through life together, facing the challenges head on.

Emily’s death had taken a toll on the both of them, but they were nothing short of relieved when they found out that she was alive and well. Many changes took place after that.

JJ had worked long and hard to turn into a profiler, the liaison had years upon years of experience before switching jobs which meant Hotch had to find a new communications liaison, but he didn’t have to look far at all. He had offered Y/N the job without a second thought. A lot of her job as receptionist covered a liaison’s job. She would often get numerous calls a day from nosy reporters and she’d have to shut them down. However, with the added responsibilities, she’d had to take classes and had undergone copious amounts of training with JJ and Hotch, but she found that she flourished in this new job, despite the hardships that came with it.

This meant that she had her own office now. Whenever Spencer wasn’t at his desk, he was in her office, and whenever she wasn’t in her office, she was at his desk. She often found that she missed her old job as receptionist, but nothing could replace the newfound feeling of making a difference in the world. She used to admire JJ’s ability to stand before nosy reporters and judgmental cops, and here she was, blowing herself (and the team) away with these hidden abilities.

Before, she was aware of the general gist of the job, she knew it wasn’t easy, but the team often kept the gory details to themselves around her. Now, she had to pick and choose the gore which constantly left her with the question of whether she’d made the right choice or not. The intensity of the job had slightly damaged her spirits, but thankfully she had an amazing support system. She couldn’t have done it without Spencer’s unending support, or Hotch’s for that matter. Before allowing Y/N to accept the job, Hotch had made sure to warn her about the horrors first. She assured him she was ready, even though sometimes she felt like she wasn’t.

On the somewhat bright side, this also meant that she was around during most, if not all cases. This had Spencer jumping for joy, but it also terrified him to his bones. All his emotions were always on overdrive when it came to her. He was glad that he didn’t have to spend so much time away from her, but it simultaneously meant that he was constantly worried for her safety. He never wanted her to go into the field, ever. No matter the amount of combat training she did with Morgan. She found that she preferred interviewing victims’ families and controlling the press to facing serial killers head on anyway.

Sometimes it was easier for her to control the press from Quantico, so it wasn’t uncommon for her to stay back during cases. One particular case had dragged on for much longer than any of them had expected. The whole team was gone in Wisconsin and Hotch had asked her to stay back and hold down the fort at Quantico. The team ended up staying there for two weeks. It was the longest she’d ever been away from Spencer. Nightly calls weren’t enough for them and Spencer truly hadn’t experienced such an emptiness without her before.

As he scooped her into his awaiting arms right outside the elevator when they finally made it back to the office, he breathlessly declared to her, “Marry me.”

She pulled back from the tight embrace to examine his features, “What?” She said, voice thick with confusion.

“I don’t want to be away from you for that long ever again. I don’t want to wait anymore. Marry. Me.” He enunciated firmly. She broke out into a grin.

“Okay, I will.” She laughed and he squeezed her once more, savoring her warmth.

“This isn’t the official proposal by the way, you deserve something far nicer than all this, but I just want you to know that I’m ready if you are.” Spencer clarified and she threw her head back with laughter. Spencer’s heart soared at the sound.

Spencer took that statement and ran with it. He teased her every chance he got. At one dinner date they had planned, he had the nerve to begin his sentence with her full name, her heart dropping to her gut.

“Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honor of...sharing this fine wine with me?” Spencer said smugly, resulting in a shocked, but somehow relieved scoff coming from her.

A different time, he decided to give her a false alarm during one of their daily lunch walks in the park nearest to Quantico. He knelt down to one of his knees in the middle of their promenade.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you...wait for me while I tie my shoe?” Spencer asked with a face-splitting grin. This time, she didn’t hesitate to shove his shoulder slightly, causing him to lose balance and almost faceplant into the pavement.

At this point, she truly had no idea when he was going to pop the big question. Knowing him, it could literally be at any point in time. She had to admit, though, he kept her on her toes. A month later, she was sure he’d pop the question during JJ’s wedding reception because of the way he was staring at her all night. He’d looked dreamy in his tux to say the least. Y/N was almost too shy to dance with him because of how magnificent he looked. What she didn’t know was that he was thinking the same exact thing about her. She looked exquisite in the evening gown she adorned and Spencer was absolutely enraptured by her.

Being so surrounded by love and admiration, Spencer finally asked her to marry him the second they made it through her front door. They stood in the small hallway between the kitchen and the living room. She had just turned around from taking her heels off and was met with Spencer down on one knee, holding the most beautiful ring out to her in a navy blue velvet box.

“I had this elaborate speech planned, Y/N, I really did. I was going to talk about the stars, about the first conversation we had when I told you about the origins of yogurt, about how stupid we were for not realizing our love for each other earlier, but I realized that none of that matters right now. All I know is that this feels right, you make everything feel right. Will you marry me?” Spencer asked, his face incapable of hiding even a sliver of the adoration he felt for her.

“Yes, I’ll marry you in every lifetime and every universe.” She said, tears falling freely from her eyes. He sprang to his feet and wrapped her up in a long awaited embrace. He felt her body shake with wet laughter against his. He placed the ring on her finger and quickly kissed her passionately. Their giddy giggles flew through and around them.

Spencer knew she didn’t want a long engagement. Her previous engagement was hard enough of the both of them. Their jobs were just so demanding, it was hard to set a date and keep from pushing it back. Their wedding planner was beyond frustrated with them, but what can they do? They’re literally out there saving lives. And before they knew it, two years had passed them by and they were due to be married in two months.

But, alas, Spencer Reid seemed to have a knack for getting shot by unsubs right before weddings. While they were investigating a difficult case in Texas, Spencer was shot in the neck. Y/N was at the police station when she’d heard. She wasn’t sure who took her to the hospital to see him, everything was a blur since she got the call. She was plagued by the fear of losing him.

She’d overheard Alex Blake and JJ discuss how he’d always wanted children when she arrived at the hospital. In the back of her mind, she screamed that she’d give him all the kids he wanted, if the universe just let them breathe.

All too quickly, she was a sobbing mess in JJ’s arms. He’d gotten hurt before, he’d been in danger before, but she’d never been as close to it as she was then, it terrified her. Garcia had arrived and guided her to Spencer’s room. In another flash of events, there was a loud bang and Y/N had barely registered that a gun was shot inside the room.

The ringing of her ears subsided just enough to hear Spencer tell Garcia, “You saved my life, do you hear me?”

That was the second time his life was endangered in the span of two hours. Y/N looked her fiancé square in the face.

“I don’t want to wait anymore. As soon as you’re up and well, we’re getting married.”

Exactly one week later, they’d rushed through whatever they could rush through. Thankfully her dress was ready and altered, the cake was made to order, but sadly, they’d given up their gorgeous, gorgeous venue. Rossi was more than happy to offer up his backyard and the couple found it more than fitting to commemorate their love in the very location where Spencer had first confessed his feelings to her and where she’d returned them later.

Life truly came full circle as Spencer stood in the same exact spot where he’d confessed his undying love for her the very first time. Spencer did everything he could to keep from sobbing like a child as he saw the owner of his heart stand before him, just like she did that day, but this time adorning her white dress.

Being the romantic sap that he was, he recounted almost every milestone in perfect detail during his vows. Through the unrelenting tears, of course. Y/N’s words came out wobbly and wet, but she managed to get her vows out. There really was not a single dry eye in the small, intimate crowd. The entire team had watched them fall in love oh-so-gracelessly over the years.

Their ceremony was beautiful. It was different than JJ’s had been, it was more special to the two of them. Spencer was in nothing short of awe as he watched his wife sway with Henry wrapped up in her embrace on the dance floor. Henry’s little arms and legs were wound tightly around her, the bottoms of his shoes surely smearing dirt all over the back of her dress, but she didn’t care. Not when Spencer was looking at her like that. His throat clogged itself up as she caught his eye and smiled sweetly. The same thing was on both their minds, it was like an unspoken agreement had been made through some kind of special, invisible bond between them.

He couldn’t wait to have a family with that woman.

And they’d wasted absolutely no time. Three months after the wedding, Y/N announced that she was carrying a baby Reid. Tears and cheers erupted for them all. They had found the perfect little house with the help of Morgan. It was perfect for their growing family.

Pregnancy wasn’t easy on Y/N at all. Flying all around the country and helping catch serial killers was not an activity that pregnant Y/N wanted to engage in. The team had been more than forgiving as they dealt with her mood swings and crazy cravings. It also turns out that soon-to-be mama Y/N was especially helpful in chewing out unsubs in the interrogation room, but as useful as she proved to be, she couldn’t wait to pop the little peanut out.

Spencer and the team were rushing off the jet to the hospital as they’d heard Y/N had gone into labor. Spencer had only missed the very beginning and was by her side the entire time after that.

They welcomed baby Emelia Reid into this world on a chilly September night. Spencer was over the moon, he was borderline obsessed with looking at the baby and keeping a hand on her at all times whenever she was in the room with them.

He waited for his mother to fly out a few days later just to meet baby Emelia. He wept as he watched his mother kiss the top of his baby girl’s head. No other feeling could ever compete with the one he experienced at that moment in time.

Emelia had grown into such a radiant little girl. She was a miniature hurricane of chocolatey brown curls and rosy red cheeks. She’d already blown her parents away as her intelligence only seemed to increase with time. The similarities she had to her father were astonishing. She was a daddy’s girl through and through, but Y/N didn’t seem to mind sharing him. Not when the sight of them together instantly melted her heart every single time.

Diana tried to be as active in the baby’s life as she could possibly be, however her condition began to worsen over time. Eventually, Diana had had to move in with Y/N, Spencer, and Emelia. Thankfully, their house was large enough, but taking care of a toddler and Diana while being 6 months pregnant was inarguably too much to handle for Y/N. She’d found out that she was pregnant again, and they were expecting another baby girl. Y/N had also taken time off from work to focus on the dilemmas at home.

The at-home nurse was doing the best she could since Spencer was always either at work or off finding Diana some kind of new treatment. He’d told Y/N that he’d been going to Mexico to get her some special medication and so she didn’t mind as long as she’d been kept in the loop of where and how he was. Spencer Reid never kept anything from his wife. They were always transparent with each other. Y/N was glad that he’d told her about his trips down to Mexico, or else she’d be out of her mind looking for him.

But suddenly, during one trip, he’d stopped answering her calls. Complete silence on his end. It had driven her absolutely mad. It was only until JJ visited her the next morning informing her that Spencer had been arrested in Mexico for the illegal possession of drugs and possibly murder. If JJ hadn’t been around to catch Y/N before passing out, she or the baby would have been in extreme danger.

But Spencer Reid never kept anything from his wife. She’d been adamant that she would have known if he was struggling with drugs again. The last time she’d seen Spencer was during the trial. He’d looked so terrified as they pronounced him guilty and shoved him away from her. From his family. He’d spared Y/N one last broken glance, his gaze drifting down to her swollen belly. Their second child was on the way and he won’t be there to meet them. He mouthed a heartfelt apology before they took him away. Y/N wept and wept until everyone but the team left the courtroom.

“How am I gonna do this, Pen? How am I gonna do this without him?” She spoke between breathy sobs. The baby, Emelia, Diana. She couldn’t do it on her own. It would break her.

“You won’t be alone, Y/N. We’re all going to help you.” Penelope reassured her, but the only thing that was capable of reassuring her was currently in handcuffs behind closed doors.

She’d had to keep Spencer’s whereabouts from Diana and Emelia. She’d told him that he was consulting a case somewhere in California, where he also had access to the beach. Up until that lie wasn’t viable enough. Emelia’s questions about her daddy absolutely tore through what remained of her heart.

Diana’s caretaker had apparently quit and a new one came by. Y/N thought something was off, but she pushed that thought aside as she worried over her husband and the baby that they were due to meet any day now. Two months had passed and Spencer was still incarcerated, he hadn’t allowed Y/N or Emelia anywhere near the prison, but she’d broken down at the possibility of him being locked away for 25 years.

She’d visited him once, right after the birth of their second baby. They’d had another beautiful baby girl, whose name had been decided long ago by the two parents. Baby Adaline. The delivery was immensely difficult without him, but she pushed through. Y/N had almost begged Emily to pull any, any strings she could to get them to meet since Spencer said he’d only agree to see them if he could ensure their privacy and safety. They’d managed to get them in with Spencer’s lawyer, Fiona. Y/N cooed to Adaline as she cradled her in her arms, wrapped in her little blanket. The cooing served as a distraction as she waited anxiously for Spencer to meet them in the small little room.

Suddenly the doors emitted a loud buzzing noise, prompting a loud cry from Adaline. A sound that was strange to echo off the walls of this place. Y/N shushed her gently until she caught sight of her husband walking through the door. Tears gathered in her eyes as she took in his disheveled state. His eyes found hers and quickly flitted to the squirming bundle of joy in her arms. Spencer’s lip wobbled as he entered the room. Y/N shifted Adaline to rest upon her shoulder as she wrapped one arm tightly around Spencer. No touching was allowed, but the guards pretended to look the other way, courtesy of whatever strings Emily had pulled.

The three of them bawled against each other in an unceremonious reunion. Spencer at last pulled away from his wife and stared at the baby in the bundle. He hesitated to carry her. His hands were clean, but they still felt so dirty. How could his hands hold this beautiful gift of life while they’d been committing such heinous acts within these very walls? But one utterance from his wife made that all vanish.

“It’s okay, Spence.” She smiled slightly, angling Adaline towards him.

He gazed at Y/N closely, as if checking to see if she was sure. Y/N carefully handed her over to him and he instantly turned into less of a shell of himself and had begun to resemble the man that Y/N could recognize. He cooed to her softly, kissing her face repeatedly. Adaline instantly quieted down at her father’s touch.

The small interaction had fueled the pair for weeks. Spencer found a source of hope and was determined to see through to the other side. He would not rot away in his cell forever. The team continued to try and crack the case from the outside. Y/N was instructed to be more careful than ever. She often brought Emelie and Adaline to work with her. She had not been flying out with the team, preferring to stay close to her girls until Spencer was back.

On one of the days Y/N brought her girls to work, she’d found out that Diana had been missing. Her caretaker was accompanying her to visit Spencer in prison and then neither of them had been seen afterwards. They quickly identified the caretaker as Lindsey Vaughn. If Y/N had been on the case with them ten years ago, she would have identified her, but she was just another face to her. Y/N was livid, Vaughn had been around her children, she’d been inside her home. If Spencer didn’t get to catch the bitch, they better believe Y/N will.

Spencer was released quickly after the BAU proved his innocence. He was on his way to the office now. Y/N had been peering into Adaline’s carriage when she’d heard the high pitched voice of Emelia.

“Daddy!” Emelia exclaimed, racing across the bullpen to jump into her father’s arms.

“Hi baby. Daddy missed you so much.” Spencer said, hiding his tears in his daughter's hair. He held her tightly to his chest as he crossed the bullpen and made it to Y/N’s office. He put Emelia down gently and scooped his wife into his arms.

“You’re back.” She said softly through tears.

He hooked his chin over her shoulder and sniffled strongly. He might not be the same man he was before, but he still loved her unconditionally. He still loved all three of them unconditionally.

“I’m here.” He repeated the phrase out loud like a mantra.

And he was here, but he also wasn’t. His wife could tell that the man who stood before her had endured hell, but when he cradled their baby girl so tightly to his chest, it was hard to imagine him as anything other than a loving, gentle father, and a compassionate partner. She knew she’d hold onto that thought forever. Once they retrieved Diana, they knew they could face anything.

As long as they were together.

And they knew they would be, for as long as the universe would allow in this life, and then the one after that.

~THE END~

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tiny-maus-boots · 3 years ago

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Queen of Hearts pt 14

A/N: thank you as always to @chloes-yellow-cup for being my bestie and still doing all the things i hate to do. and a big thanks to @kimmania for your constant encouragement and supply of Legos. i love you awesome nerds.

14.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

Aubrey’s long arm stretched out along the back of the dark leather of the modern style sofa she was settled on. For the most part she could tune out the dry croak from the desk, but…

“Why don’t you hit me with your best shot.”

This was the sixth time in an hour that she was hearing the song. She was going to have to remind Lilly to remove it from the jukebox after tonight.

“Hit me with your best shot…”

The rough warble across from her died down and she thought for a moment that the singer had finally drifted off asleep. Aubrey’s head turned to the screen that showed a live feed of the cameras around The Dirty Bird. Movement flickered though them as Stacie and the Doc walked between the tables and around the bar toward the back office. She turned her head to check on the figure standing but slumped over her desk only to find dark blue eyes watching and waiting for her attention. The small woman raised herself to her elbows from her slouch and belted out just as the door opened.

“FIRE AWAAAAYYYYY!!! Pew pew pew.”

Aubrey sighed as Detective Mitchell’s finger guns gave out on the click of her tongue and she collapsed back over the desk to cradle a half empty bottle of grappa, ass up where she stood. Stacie’s wide eyes panned slowly toward her, body bouncing lightly with barely restrained glee.

“Oh my God….” Chloe took one look at the Detective and pinned Aubrey with a glare. “How drunk is she?”

The blonde raised a shoulder as she considered. “She’s been worse.”

“Doc. Doooooocccc….I hurt. Right. Here.” Beca raised a hand and brought it back to point at her butt. Her finger wavered as she tried to locate the exact spot which caused the most pain and then pointed for emphasis with a little too much enthusiasm. “Right. OW. Here. OWIE.”

Stacie eased onto the sofa and settled in comfortably in Aubrey’s lap to watch Doc Beale work. The redhead moved behind Beca and settled her bag on the desk. She took a great steadying breath before wrestling away the grappa from the prone detective and snapping on a pair of gloves. Aubrey admired the way Doc Beale efficiently and deftly managed to get Beca’s jeans over her hips and halfway down her legs with practiced ease. Beca seemed to admire it too because she stirred enough to look blearily over her shoulder with a smile.

“If you wanted to check out my assetsssss Doc, you didn’t have to wait til I got stabbeded in it. Right. There. Ow.”

“Yes, I see. Please stop poking the wound in your ass cheek. How even….?”

“I was tailing my guy. My big fish. Fishy fishy fishy. That’s a fun word to say.” Chloe muttered something Aubrey couldn’t hear over Stacie’s soft chuckling. “I heard that! Plenty of people would be DE-FUCKING-lighted to spend their date night starin’ at a little of this action.”

Aubrey bit her lip to keep the laugh from breaking free as the detective wiggled her ass unmindful of the tight skinny jeans trapping her legs and toppled into a slide nearly off the desk before Chloe managed to grab and right her teetering form.

“Head down, ass up. Now tell me again how you managed to get stabbed in the butt cheek with glass?”

“You said that like you’re used to giving that order. I might be down for that, just be gentle with me.”

Beca gave her a leer that the doctor promptly ignored as she prepped her tools.

“Detective, remember that I have some very sharp instruments here that I am excellent with.”

Beca gave her a dubious look but obediently turned and bent over the desk again so the other woman could examine the wound. Chloe was utterly focused on the task of cleaning and debriding the punctures in a circular pattern. Aubrey had been sure it was going to require at least a few stitches from what she saw before she called for real medical help.

“I told you. I was following the big fish.”

“And you followed him into a bar I’m guessing.”

“Right, rule numero dos of detectivering. Don’t stick out like a sore thumb.”

Chloe blinked and looked up from her work to focus on Beca. “What’s numero uno?”

“That’s not a real number, Doc.”

“Solid rebuttal.”

“Did…did you just make pun of my rump? Oh my God I’m in love. I’d get down on one knee right now and propose. Except you’re feeling up my butt right now and that’s kinda nice.”

The doctor’s bright blue eyes narrowed and she jabbed the needle into the hunk of flesh she had just grabbed in preparation for the injection. She depressed the plunger quickly as her patient yelped and attempted to squirm away.

“HEATHEN! Oh God. I’m dying. Help. I’m dying, Dr. Kevorkian is killing me….my vision…I can’t see.”

“Open your eyes, idiot. That was just an antibiotic booster. Have you had a tetanus shot recently?”

“Pretend I said whatever answer will prevent you from being a literal pain in my ass.”

It was too much for Stacie and she turned her head to bury her laughter in Aubrey’s neck. The blonde tightened her grip on her fiancée and enjoyed a satisfying laugh at the detective’s expense. She hadn’t known what she’d find when she had gotten Beca’s distress call. They had all been on high alert since coming back to Los Angeles, trying to close ranks as best they could without being obvious about it. She had been waiting for an attack to come and her first thought when she had gotten the call was that it had finally begun. Each moment waiting in her office while Lilly retrieved the Detective from her hiding place in an abandoned warehouse building down at the port had been like a stone on her chest. She had needed this humor to ease the cold grip of fear on her heart.

Aubrey’s line of business didn’t lend itself to close relationships with members of law enforcement, at least not for long. What she and the Detective had was something altogether different than any of the other criminal-cop business agreements she had formed during her career. Beca was someone she trusted at her side, more…trusted at her back. The idea that someone would try to take her out was sobering and her laughter faded. Stacie sensed the change in her and cupped Aubrey’s face gently to bring their foreheads together. Words weren’t necessary for Stacie to understand what she was thinking and feeling. The blonde took a deep breath and straightened her spine. One hand came up to adjust and smooth her tie. If it had started…she wanted to know who was coming for her people.

“So, who’s the fish?”

Beca lifted her head from the desk and struggled to focus on Aubrey. It took her a few seconds to process the question. She seemed to have forgotten the conversation while Chloe worked silently to finish working on her wound.

“A security guard. He’s got bad taste in bars and also what I would loosely refer to as ladies.”

She couldn’t imagine where a security guard would fit in with Alice’s plans and frowned. Maybe this wasn’t about her. Beca had other cases she was working, maybe this was just another Tuesday night for the cop.

“A security guard? Sounds kind of small time for you.”

Denim blue eyes flashed to hers, some of the haze of alcohol burned away by intensity of her drive. The small brunette’s lips quirked into a smirk. Aubrey was suddenly very sure that nothing Beca did was small time or without a very good reason.

“It only takes a small stone in the right place to make a rockslide.”

Chloe slowed her movements as she finished her work. Something about what Beca said must have been interesting to the doctor because she kept her attention on the detective while she cleaned up the trash and peeled her gloves off to toss in the black plastic trash bag left there for that purpose. Aubrey guessed she was re-evaluating her previous estimations of the foul mouthed, perpetually smug, woman.

“You’re not wrong, Bec. So, what’s this small stone guarding?”

“Not what. Where. Dude works at the port.” She grunted and stood gingerly with a backward glance at her own butt. “Hm. Nice, think chicks will dig the scar?”

If Chloe had been considering there may be more to Beca than outrageous flirtation it was only a brief passing fantasy. She sighed and rolled her eyes then glared at Aubrey.

“18, Aubrey.” It was almost enough to make her face split into a grin and she had to turn her chuckle into a soft cough. Chloe tied up the bag and dropped it in the trashcan sure that it would be disposed of carefully. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to patch one of them up, they knew the drill by now. “You owe me so big.”

“I’m good for it. So, Detective, what about this dock rat?”

Beca stopped checking herself out long enough to pull her pants up and wink at Chloe before answering. Doc pretended not to notice but Aubrey could see her watching Beca from the corner of her eye while she played around with the tools in her bag.

“When I figure how he connects to Richie Rich, I’ll let you know.”

Stacie’s body tensed in her arms and Aubrey glanced at her curiously. Her girl chewed her lower lip in thought, a habit that Aubrey found adorable. “Something on your mind, Stace?”

“It’s probably nothing. Just something Edith said about someone I went to prom with. His dad got him a job down at the docks.” Stacie shrugged it off but Aubrey could tell she was still chewing on it. “Probably just coincidence.”

Aubrey and Beca exchanged a look. After a lifetime of double crosses and plot twists, neither of them believed in coincidences. The detective dug around in her pocket for her phone. She wasn’t quite sober yet but a hell of a lot steadier than a few moments ago. Aubrey snatched the phone easily out of the air when it was tossed her way and glanced at the screen.

It was a video and she angled it so Stacie could see too. Her fiancée pressed play and sighed. Beca could be heard in the background giving a lot of very specific direction to the two women practically fucking on a pool table in a disgusting looking rathole of a bar. Aubrey was pretty sure the women were hookers and the corner of her mouth quirked in amusement. Stacie took the phone out of her hand turned it to face back to the detective.

“Really Beca?”

“I thought it was pretty good for my directorial debut. But your gutter brain is making you miss the real show.”

Aubrey took the phone back and focused on the whole scene. Behind the women in a shadowed booth two men were clearly having an animated discussion. One was further into the shadow than the other but his gestures were strong and decisive. She watched as the other, younger seeming, man’s gestures became conciliatory and submissive the longer the conversation went on. In the foreground a flurry of noise and activity caused the camera to shake and wildly as if it were being swung around. There were glimpses of rough faces and snatches of shouts and curses. At one point there was a good stretch of scuffed flooring where she assumed Beca had been crawling away from the obvious brawl happening around her.

The camera came up again in time to catch the men leaving their booth in a hurry. Each of them caught in the neon blue glow from beer signs on the walls. Stacie snatched the phone out of her hand and hit pause. Long legs dropped down to the floor from the sofa and she stood in shock.

“Bree…this is Senator Grant. The guy he’s with is his son Kodie, we went to high school...Jesus Christ…”

“You know him?”

“Weston stole his money.”

They looked at each other then turned twin green-eyed gazes on Detective Mitchell. The small woman’s brow was furrowed in thought, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she worried it.

“The kid is on the videos.”

Mitchell didn’t have to say which videos, they all knew. Even Doc Beale. Stacie looked away from them, uncomfortable with the knowledge that she had been in some of those videos. Aubrey let out a long settling breath and stood. She gently took the phone from Stacie’s shaking hand and brought it to lips to brush a soft kiss over Stacie’s wrist. It gave her a wan smile but it was something. Stacie would be okay. Aubrey looked down at the phone and watched the video again. And again. And once more. She studied every gesture, every twitch of posture, every unconscious expression she could make out.

“I want the kid. He’s the weak link.”

Beca grunted and limped around the desk to grab her keys and helmet, ready to go back to work with a hole in her ass nearly as big as the one in her pants. It wasn’t going to happen that way and Aubrey reached out to snag both items from the sidebar and hand them to Stacie who easily placed them on a shelf far too high for Detective Mitchell to reach without finding a stand on.

“White she devil.”

“Sorry, Bec. Can’t have you half-assing anything.”

She didn’t like it and Aubrey could tell but Beca sighed and grunted. “Solid burn.”

Aubrey gave her a quick grin then turned to eye the Doctor who was watching them all curiously. Her gaze met Aubrey’s and a brow went up. Honestly, she almost felt a little bad about needing to have the Doc take Beca somewhere safe. She didn’t ask, she didn’t need to. Chloe knew what she was thinking and started to shake her head no until Beca tried to drag a chair over to the get her stuff.

“I really hate you, Aubrey Posen.”

“No, you don’t, Doc.”

“You WILL be making a very large donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.”

“Absolutely.”

“And vacation for my office girls. Two weeks!”

“I’ll buy the plane tickets myself.”

“And if she pisses me off just once I will trank her and leave her on a park bench.”

The last was a bluff but Aubrey treated the threat seriously. “Understood. Anything else?”

“….I’ll think of something!” Aubrey bit back another grin and nodded seriously. She slipped her hands into her pockets as the doctor steeled herself mentally to take on Beca. “Come one Detective, as much as this pains me to say…you’re coming home with me.”

Beca dropped the helmet she had finally just retrieved on the ground and left it like discarded trash to limp over to Chloe. “Okay.”

“God…you’re so easy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Doc.”

Chloe gave her a final glare and slung the detective’s arms over her shoulder to help her limp out of the office. Stacie settled the length of her body along Aubrey’s back, hands coming up to finger the buttons of her vest.

“How well do you know this Kodie, joker?”

Stacie hmmm thoughtfully. “Not as well as I did in high school. Edith told me he got caught up in some trouble recently. I think I know how we can get to him though.”

“How?”

“He likes cocaine and paying for his um let’s call them dates. I had Happy make some calls for you.”

The smile came to her face easily and she leaned into Stacie’s embrace. This wasn’t anything like what her mom and dad had. Her mother had never been this involved in what her father did for work. She had kept as distant from it as she could, turning her nose up at the family that protected them, running from the darkness of the business. Stacie would never do that to her. She knew it all way down to the bottom of soul. Aubrey turned in her arms and brought their heads together.

“You got more cards up your sleeve than a Vegas croupier, you know that?”

“Hmm. I learned from the best.”

Aubrey closed the distance, her brushing softly over Stacie’s. There were a lot of words she could say about how she felt about the woman in her arms. She could probably write pages on it, but words didn’t matter half as much as action did. She was going to marry this woman and spend her life giving her the best of everything. They were going to be happy and she didn’t care who she had to kill to make it happen.

“Let me take you home?”

“Aubrey…in your arms? I’m already there.”

#queen of hearts #staubrey #pitch perfect au #the debt collector series

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cacoetheswriting · 4 years ago

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champagne problems, ch.10

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Ten: Feels Like We Only Go Backwards: A choice is made. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, serious serious angst, disclaimer [& spoiler warning], this chapter is not a happy one. this whole series is a real slow burn.

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A/N: as always, thank you for all the love you’re giving this story. we have about six chapters left to the end and words cannot describe how grateful i am to you for sticking with me and my rambling writing. ENJOY !

A significant weight was lifted off Spencer’s shoulders the second he told you how he truly felt about you. Actually, it was more the second you said you loved him back.

Even though the two of you distanced yourselves from one another, giving you the space to really think about your future and who you wanted to spend it with, the week that followed the admissions was considerably good.

Yes, the brunette doctor continued to feel uneasy about the situation he put you in. Uneasy about the choice you eventually would have to make. However, as days went by he noticed it didn't seem to bother you. No. You were oddly chirpy and cheerful. Spencer couldn't help but feel like it was because of him.

Like your choice was already made, and that choice was him.

“Do you have plans tonight?” You asked in a hushed tone, slyly glancing around the bullpen to ensure no-one else was paying attention to you and the doctor.

Spencer shook his head. “Not entirely, no.”

Your lips curled into a smile at his response. “So you wouldn’t mind if I came over?” You asked, gently tapping your fingers in a walking motion against his desk. They stopped next to his hand - you could feel it was there, yet you didn't move your fingers further in fear of someone seeing. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Spencer mouth twitched into a pleasant smirk. He should have been nervous, what if you were going to break the news you were choosing Ethan? He should have been anxious, the thought of losing you all over again, he couldn't imagine how awful that would feel. Yet he didn't feel any of those things.

Judging by your relaxed body language. Your hand just aching to touch his. The way your eyes glistened looking at him. Your elated tone as you spoke. It didn't take a genius, a profiler, or even someone that knew you as well as him, to say these were all indicators whatever you wanted to talk to him about was happy.

“Of course.” He cleared his throat. “What time do you think-”

“I’ll let you know, okay? I know you like to switch off for the weekend so keep your phone on you for me.” You traced a finger against his knuckle and with one last smile, ambled elegantly towards the exit.

Yes - Spencer deducted - whatever you wanted to tell him was going to be good news.

A knock on the door grabbed Spencer’s attention. He quickly examined the place one last time, to ensure everything was clean and, well, perfect for you.

Satisfied, he eagerly crossed his living room and without thinking twice, expecting to see you on the other side of the door, he opened it.

“Hey Spencer.”

But it wasn’t you. It was the last person he ever expected to see.

“E-Ethan, what ehm, what are you doing here?” Spencer asked.

Ethan smirked at the question, slowly sliding his hands into the pockets of his coat. “We need to talk, don’t you think?”

Spencer swallowed, but before he got a chance to reply the surgeon continued. “Actually, I’ll talk and you can listen. Also don’t bother inviting me inside because I’ll keep this brief and to the point.”

Your fiancé cleared his throat. “Imagine my surprise when I found out my wife-to-be still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Did you know she is actually on her way here to tell you she’s choosing you? Yeah... Now, she doesn't know that I know. Her plan is to inform me tomorrow, after my shift at the hospital, that the wedding is no longer happening and our relationship is over.” He paused, almost as if he was daring Spencer to interrupt him at any moment and defend your honour.

Which in hindsight is something Spencer should have done.

“So here’s how this is going to do, doctor.” He slurred. “When she comes here, you're going to turn her down. You've broken her heart once before, I’m pretty sure you know how to do it again.”

Spencer stepped forward and opened his mouth to protest, but the surgeon impolitely cut him off. “Look, you’re a smart guy. Some sort of genius, right? I think deep down you know Y/N is better off with me. I can provide for her in ways you can't even comprehend. I am going to give her a life you can only dream of Spencer.”

“I think you’re forgetting it’s not all about the money.” Spencer stated coldly. His eyes narrowing. Jaw clenching.

Ethan chuckled callously. “Of course not. But I think you need to consider how much disposable income can improve life. I have the ability to ensure we buy our dream home. I have the ability to invest in a second home for her father, and move him somewhere closer to us. With me, Y/N will be able to quit her job and no longer risk her life on a daily basis. She will be able to spend time with our future kids, in a beautiful home, completely care free.”

He let out a deep sigh. “Did she even tell you she’s been thinking about transferring out of the BAU? She doesn't want to be a profiler anymore. Fuck man, she doesn't even know if she wants to be a SSA anymore. The only reason she’s sticking around is you.”

The statement caught Spencer completely off guard. Ethan had to be bluffing, right? He would say anything to ensure you stayed with him, right?

“You’re lying.” Spencer grumbled through his teeth.

Ethan smirked in response. “I’m really not though. Ask anyone. Her dad, it was actually he who suggested it in the first place. Or your friend Penelope, she seems to think it’s a good idea.”

Spencer’s world was crumbling down around him and he was helpless to stop it. Why didn't you tell him this was on your mind? Why did you keep this a secret? And how did he not see any inclination of this before?

“Like I said, you’re a smart guy Spencer.” Ethan stated. “I think you know what the right thing to do is.” And with that, he walked away leaving the brunette agent alone with his thoughts.

Slowly, Spencer closed the door. He turned on his heel and leaned against it while letting out a long winded breath, one he didn't even realise he was holding.

He never wanted to stand in the way of your plans. He didn't want to be the one holding you back from anything. Was his ever growing love for you clouding his judgement?

He closed his eyes, resting against the door behind him. The guilt he was now feeling riddled him from head to toe. And mixed with the guilt was a faint feeling of anger. Anger directed at the man that dared to get between your relationship with the brunette agent.

Ethan, a name of Hebrew origin that means firm, enduring and strong. A good name for good people.

Spencer knew off many Ethan’s in his lifetime. His college friend, an old colleagues son - all people that definitely lived up to the meaning. Yet your fiancé was anything but.

This Ethan was arrogant, rude, possessive. In Spencer’s mind, this Ethan was quite literally the physical embodiment of the curse word dick.

He never truly understood what you saw in the guy. He always thought you could do a lot better. Even if it wasn’t Spencer himself, there are men out there a lot kinder than Ethan.

And yet, despite all of the resentment he felt towards the man, Spencer couldn't help but feel like there was some truth to what he had said. The hazel-eyed man started doubting himself. Doubting whether he really had your best intention at heart, or whether his own selfishness was preventing him from making sure you’re living your best life.

This was supposed to be a happy day. A happy evening.

It certainly started out that way. You were on your way here to tell him you were choosing him. You were choosing to spend the rest of your life with him.

Spencer felt sick to his stomach. Dizzy. He was sure if he opened his eyes even just for a second he would collapse. He also knew the only rational thing, the right thing to do will only make him feel worse.

The brunette agent wasn’t entirely sure how long he stood frozen like that. His breathing shallow. Heart sinking, heavy.

A knock on the door behind his back caused him to slowly open his eyes, yet he didn't move an inch. He simply couldn't. He couldn't bare to face you. He couldn't bare to look you in the eye and break your heart for a second time.

Instead, he chose the childish way out. He hoped if he was still enough, quiet enough, you would think he wasn’t home and leave. It is a conversation that cannot be avoided, but it would be a conversation for another day.

You knocked again, using a little more strength this time.

Spencer held his breath. Tears began to form in his eyes. Salty droplets that if he let escape, he knew they wouldn't stop falling.

He heard faint shuffling outside and for a split second he thought you gave up and walked away. For a split second he thought he bought himself more time. More time with the fantasy that the two of you would get your happy ending together. Foolish, he thought.

It was in that moment the mobile device in the back pocket off his pants started to buzz, vibrating against the door. The phone you asked he kept close to him earlier that day. The sound of the ringtone followed soon after completely giving away Spencer’s current location.

“Spencer?” The sweet sound of your voice coming through the wooden barrier between you caused the tears he was fighting to slowly trail down his face. The device stopped ringing. “I know you’re in there. Can you let me in?” You said, so blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Spencer turned around and pressed his forehead against the painted wood. His hand travelled to the door knob, yet he still didn't move any further. “I-I... I c-can’t...” He managed to blurt out.

“What do you mean you can’t?” He heard you ask, the hint of confusion in your tone aching his heart further. “Spencer, what’s going on?”

The brunette doctor licked his lips and swallowed, tasting the saltiness of his own tears. “Y-you should go Y/N.” He uttered.

“Go? Spencer, you’re not making any sense.” You responded, the door knob rattling under Spencer’s fingers. “Please let me in. I’m not going to say what I want to say through a door.”

“Don’t s-say it at all. You should be with E-Ethan. Your future will be brighter with him.”

Silence. Unbearably heartbreaking silence.

At first you thought your ears were playing tricks on you. There was no way he just said that, right? A week after he told you he loved you. A week after he said he'll always wait for you. A week after he proposed. There was no way he changed his mind.

And then you thought of his time in prison. More specifically the day you went to visit him for the last time. The day you wanted to propose. The day he broke your heart.

He used those exact words - “Your future will be brighter without me.”

Slowly, you placed the palm of your hand on the door between you and took in a deep breath. Your eyes glossed over as the confusion rushing through you evolved into sadness.

Spencer could pinpoint the exact moment the air changed around him. It was suddenly tense. Broken. He felt like a coward. Even if he had your best interest at heart, he should still be able to face you and explain his side in person. Tell you that Ethan came by. Tell you everything that was said. Ask about your plans to leave the BAU. Ask whether he really was the only reason you haven't resigned yet. But he couldn't formulate the words. He simply gave up. A coward.

“Spencer, I-I don’t understand...” You sobbed. “I-I thought-t you loved me.”

“I love you more than anything in this world Y/N.” He quickly replied, the palm of his hand now pressed against the wood. Unbeknown to him, against the exact same spot on the opposite side of the barrier was your hand. So close yet so far.

“Then let me in. Please. I-I came here to say I choose you. I want to be with you Spencer. Please... Please let me in.” You cried through the door. Spencer could hear the pain behind your words, the sorrow. It really took all the strength he had not to let you in.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

Your hands trembling uncontrollably against the barrier between you and the man of your dreams.

His sudden change of heart left you completely speechless. His words like tiny daggers stabbing directly into your bleeding heart. How did this happen? What changed between now and this morning? What changed between now and last week? You had so many questions. Ones that you feared would remain unanswered.

Additionally, your gut was telling you there was more to this than he was letting on. That it wasn’t as simple as ‘Ethan is the better man for you’ because you knew Spencer didn't believe that. But you couldn't find the strength within to argue with him.

“If-f that’s w-what you want Spencer, I’ll leave-e.”

It was the last thing he heard before the sound of your footsteps ushering away.

After a minute, the hazel-eyed agent moved to the couch and sunk into the material. Every fibre of his being was currently aching. He hoped he did the right thing, although the voice at the back of his mind said no. What else was he supposed to do? He knew Ethan wouldn't just give up. Was Spencer prepared to fight for you? If tonight was any inclination the answer would also be no.

Spencer’s gaze locked onto the small box in the middle of his coffee table.

It was a considerably good week, and it was supposed to end a hell of a lot better than this.

Every part of me says, "Go ahead" But I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

A/N: i hope you liked this chapter! and i am so so sorry for giving y’all false hope with the last one! i promise these there are happy times ahead for these two just not quite yet... as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #dr spencer reid x reader #criminal minds angst #champagne problems series

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srose-foxfire · 4 years ago

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Damirae Week 2021 - Day 6

“Towards Home” Day 6: Pets / Animals

Raven was very much exhausted as she reached a clearing in the woods. She leaned against a pine tree to catch her breath and steady her over-beating heart. Part of her was just tired from running non-stop but the other part had been scared. Raven had stood there in Damian’s study, he had brought her there to show her the enchanted rose that somehow regained its magical glow. She had thought some good had just happen instead Damian’s character completely reverted back to when they first met. The moon had passed over most of the night sky, dawn would be nearing. They needed to find shelter, rest, and continue on with their journey-

Raven had noticed Sombra had perched on a nearby branch and was staying rather very silently as it looked to the right where the forest was denser. The young girl managed to keep her breathing steady and moved around the tree she was leaning against. From the shadows of the forest, there it emerges very carefully. The creature she once saw, the first time she had fled from the castle, the one that had softened her fall, months ago. Scared Raven hid behind the tree, she heard Sombra squawk angrily towards the unusual invader.

The strange creature then lowered its head and whimpered. Raven peeked from around the tree and gaze at the creature, as it lay down, keeping its large head between it thick paws. Sombra from the top of the trees continue to squawk and swoop down, trying to scare off and protect its mistress.

“Sombra stop.” Raven said sternly as she carefully walked around the tree. “You are not trying to hurt me…” She stops just a foot away from it. “That day we met, when I fell, you saved me didn’t you?”

Whatever this strange creature was, raised it head to her height, perking up it ears. It looked almost like an overlarge dog but transformed into a terrifying creature to be feared by anyone who dared gaze at it. The large dog’s head was long and square-like, with black pointed ears, it had very short fine black fur, and its eyes were dark. It was definitely bigger than Damian’s beastly form.

Very carefully, Raven reached out a hand and stroked behind its ear. She gasped when the large dog started licking her hand and wag it large tail. Raven couldn’t help but giggle, Sombra then landed next to them and looked up at the creature with curious eyes. It hopped near it, before long the large dog, sniffed him and licked him. Sombra squawk and flew up on top of the creature’s head.

“I don’t suppose you know someplace we could stay. We happen to be homeless at the moment.” The large dog, only grunted turn it back and lay down. Raven knitted her eyebrows together but cautiously got on the large creature. She wasn’t sure if she was seated properly, she never once ridden a horse or any other rideable animal. It took her through the thick forest but avoided any loose branches so she wouldn’t get scraped. The black large dog walked on top of a hill and in the distance could make out the point of the towers of Wayne Castle. Turning her head, Raven looked back to the path as she noticed they were nearing a cave.

-- -- --

Morning came and Raven woke up to the smell of wet moss and dew drops. In the distance she could hear some playful barking, curious she walked outside the small cave which she came to conclude was the large dog’s home. Exiting the cave Raven found Sombra flapping and jumping as he played with their unusual friend. She gave out a laugh as it looked like the two were old friends despite their forms and size. How could this creature be evil, she wonder? Dick had mentioned that a large black monster, probably this large dog, guarded the castle. Yet she didn’t see no monster, Raven just saw an oversized playful dog that only wanted to protect and play.

The large dog-like creature barked happily and zoomed past Raven, going back inside its cave. Sombra flew onto Raven’s shoulder as they both waited for the creature to emerge from its home. It return outside, holding some sort of round band in it mouth, walking gracefully towards Raven, it handed her the round band.

“What do you have here?” Raven asked ash she took the band in her hands and inspected it. A dog collar. Raven lifted a brow and examined the black band. It was a knitted black collar, with many threads out of place, probably due to being worked out. She noticed a silver rusty-round tag, both sides engraved. It took Raven a while to decipher the text since some words had been scratched from years of being out in harsh weather, or scraped against rocks; Raven could only assume. She was able to decipher one side and her eyes widen when she read, what was the address to the tag:

If found, please return to

Prince Damian Al Ghul-Wayne,

~ Wayne Castle ~

Raven looked from the tag to the large dog, she flipped the tag around and read the name engraved: Titus. This creature was Damian’s dog, she had seen an old portrait of a small black Dane puppy sitting in a meadow of dandelions. Raven would sometimes find Damian looking at that portrait in the parlor.

Raven’s chest suddenly starting aching remembering what Damian had told her last night. “When the witch cast the curse and she transformed me, she said she would take everything I held dear would be gone.”

The witch, she took everything that Damian ever cherished. Then a sudden thought crossed her mind, Damian mentioned that the rose had become a symbol of good fortune, but even it’s light faded. Though last night it regained the light he had mentioned, after Raven touched it. Some good has come from the curse, them meeting was proof of that. Could Damian believed she would had been fated some terrible fate if she continued to stay with him? Could that be the reason why he ordered and scared her off from his castle? Raven only prayed that it was true, that he had acted the way he did to only protect her. No one had ever done that for her.

Raven had never felt like she belonged anywhere, she never had friends, or ever shared a holiday meal with anyone but herself. She always looked out for herself back in Trigon’s lands. Raven had always been alone till she befriended a lone raven during her travels, then she came upon Wayne castle. Where she met the most unusual cursed family who immediately welcomed her into their home, except their youngest member. Though over time even he opened up and they became friends.

Raven felt her chest ache as she thought of the Wayne’s, imagined what they were doing this late morning. She gasped when she realized she had started crying as Sombra and Titus watched her. It occurred to her Raven never once thought of leaving or asking Damian to leave the castle. Not after she learned so much from everyone, not after spending some ‘girl time’ with Kori, Cass, and Stephanie. Raven wanted to do more holiday meals and celebrations. She had so much fun when they all danced and laughed together. How could she think of leaving when each day, Raven wanted to read to Damian another book she discovered in the castle’s library.

Raven slumped down to her knees and continue to cry. Titus and Sombra came next to her, her pet raven perched on her knees while Titus whimpered and nudge Raven’s shoulder with his nose. Raven petted them both as her tears started to dry up, “let’s go home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Damian hadn’t slept resulting him being very much tired. His siblings had tried to get him to eat but he was rather dead inside. He paid no one any attention. The places in his castle where he once found solace were no longer bearable, he couldn’t stand it. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her.

Damian needed to find a way to move on and forget all about the girl that came to his castle months ago. He should had made her leave that day she first walked into his home, then he wouldn’t be feeling like this. Damian felt his heart turned over inside of him, he left weak and vulnerable. At any moment he could break out into tears again. He had fallen madly in love with Raven, and now she was gone.

Damian laid in a corner of the parlor, the same parlor where they had all celebrated the end of the year’s celebration together. Where Raven had made Damian dance with her to the off-beat music his siblings were playing. How could he just erase those precious memories? How could he just forget the moments they had spent together where he wanted them to last a lifetime? When Raven would read to him, when they cooked together, when they take a stroll through the castle together and answer any question she had. He was a fool.

Damian sighed heavily, his face was between in the corner, but Damian knew too well that his nosy siblings were in the room with him, they were just – which was strange – keeping extremely quiet. Everyone was scattered in the room, Jason and Cass were playing a game of chess, Dick lay across an old sofa with his head propped on top of Kori’s lap. Stephanie was dusting an old tapestry that depicted the castle’s first annual masquerade ball. Tim was floating near the window, looking outside and the day dreaded on.

“Guys… you won’t believe who is riding towards the castle on a… what the heck is that?” Tim added rather out loud as he was able to gain everyone’s attention. At his statement everyone floated towards the window looking out to what caught Tim’s attention, they all gasped.

“It’s Raven?!” Kori added very delighted.

The mentioned of her name brought Damian out of his trance. He wanted to believe he was in some dream, where Raven turned back and returned to his arms asking for permission to stay. Could it really be her? Damian slowly walked towards another window and gaze outside, there up the main walkway of the castle’s entrance was Raven, she came in fast on top of the creature Damian had only once ever catch a glimpse of. It was the monster that guarded their castle to ensure no one came in or out. Beside them, Sombra was flying matching the creature’s speed.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Damian dashed out of the parlor and ran through corridors until he reaches the main doorways to exit. His mind was running all over the place, some were if he had gone to sleep and this was all just a dream his unconscious mind had created for him. Other thoughts were that Raven only returned to stock on supplies for her long quest to finding her mother’s homeland. Just one thought, one Damian was holding tightly to his aching heart was that she came back for him.To be with him.

Damian pried open the doors, he use his whole body to open them and stopped just above the doorsteps as Raven and the creature she was riding stopped right at the foot of his castle. Damian went down the steps slowly, with his brows narrowed, “you came back? I told you to leave and yet, you came back.” Damian didn’t mean to almost whisper his statement, but he couldn’t believe he would find Raven, standing right before him after last night’s incident.

“I had to… I know the curse took so much away from you and I wanted to return to you an old friend of yours.” Raven added softly before dismounting her strange steed. “Damian, meet Titus.”

“Titus?” The creature both bark and whimpered as it took three steps and give Damian a lick across his face. “Titus! It is you! I missed you so much friend.” The cursed prince wrapped his massive fur arms around the Titus’s neck. Damian had thought that his dog had died many years ago, he wasn’t able to find him when they all fell under the curse. To think his beloved dog, his great Dane had just been outside the castle walls all these years. Damian was both filled with happiness and sadness, realizing that Titus had been alone for such a long time. After petting Titus, Damian turned his attention to the raven-hair maiden that seemed to bring in light to his world. “You found him for me… thank you.”

“He actually found me.” Raven added timidly, she then folded her arms behind her back, almost as if she was embarrassed to speak to him. “Damian, I came back because I want to-”

Raven didn’t finish her sentence, out of thin hair a creature with blueish skin and arms covered in feathers swooped down and grabbed Raven. It screeched harshly and it ascended to the skies with the girl Damian loved. He was able to recognize the winged creature to be a harpy from the many books on mythical and enchanted creatures.

“Damian!” Raven screamed as she tried to land a hit on her captor.

“Raven! Release her!” Damian called out. Raven’s pet raven, Sombra flew up towards the harpy. He tried to peck the harpy, but the harpy managed to evade Sombra attacks and then slashed him with her claws. Injured, Sombra was falling down, Damian ran on all fours and then jumped to catch the bird in his paws. Titus ran and stood next to its former master, barking at the harpy. Damian grunted and ran towards back to the castle; there his siblings were waiting at the door. Their eyes were filled with anger and desperation wanting to help, but the curse did not allow them; their souls were forever bound to the castle. Damian handed Dick the injured raven.

“Damian what are you going to do?” His older brother questioned.

“I am going to go and save the woman I love.” Damian said through clenched teeth. Titus barked and turned his body, so his back faced Damian and his head was pointed at the harpy who was looking to be farther away into the skies, heading to some mountains in the distance. Damian leapt and mounted Titus, commanding his old friend to chase after the harpy. As Titus ran, Damian looked up, he could barely make out Raven anymore, she was disappearing between thick dark gray clouds.

Raven wait for me, I am coming for you.

#damirae week 2021 #damirae #damirae week #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #raven roth #raven #raven and damian #Beauty and the Beast AU #day 6 #see you next time

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araxiis · 3 years ago

Text

Family Found- Kuzupeko

CW: Verbally & physically abusive parent, fighting/violence

Angst, but not between Fuyuhiko and Peko

Also Fuyuhiko's parents are never named so I just picked a name

Words: 3001 (oop)

Read it on Wattpad here

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The curtains were open in the modest house on the corner, letting the morning sun dance about inside like a pleasant houseguest. The violets in the garden were growing beautifully, a lovely surprise to those who may be passing by the house. A casual pedestrian may take note of the house, and find it quaint or cozy, but not something quite worth note, and continue on with their day.

This is exactly what the Kuzuryuus had wanted when they bought their home.

After a lifetime each of being in the public eye, and never for good reason, Peko & Fuyuhiko had agreed that a life of anonymity would be beneficial to them both. They were married quietly, their only witnesses being their fellow students of class 77-B, who had all grown very close to one another during their recoveries. Now, a few years later, Peko stood in the nursery of the sun-dappled house, holding her four-month-old daughter in her arms.

"Good morning, bunny," Peko whispered to her baby. The little girl was called Riki, her name meaning 'little bunny', the nickname her parents so often used. The baby was so blissfully unaware of the frightening world she was born into, and her mother hoped it could stay that way for at least a while. Riki was born at home, her parents hardly ever daring to take her out of their neighborhood, for fear of being recognized. They had a lovely backyard for her to play in, after all. Whenever a shopping trip became necessary, Fuyuhiko or Peko would travel individually, never together. It was a difficult life, to be sure, but a peaceful one. A normal life was never in the cards for them either way.

On this particular morning the baby had been sleeping soundly, and Fuyuhiko had opted to stay in bed and relish the rare moment of quiet so scarce with an infant. Peko, ever the morning person, was never one for sleeping in. She chose to rise at the same time as usual, and spend the morning simply admiring the miracle that was their daughter. She had no engagements that day, choosing to stroll about her home in her pajamas, her hair loose and unkempt. In the nursery with Riki, who was still soundly asleep in her arms, Peko walked to the open window that faced the street. It was a rather high window, the lowest sill at the level of Peko's chest. When Riki was upset, it always calmed her to be held up near the window (safely, of course). But now she was dozing contently, so Peko kept her resting in her arms just below the window. The baby had a soft head of silver hair just like her mother's, and the features & sharp green eyes of her father, now invisible behind her sleeping eyelids. She was the perfect mix of her parents, and had taught Peko that displaying emotions was not something to be ashamed of. Peko gazed lovingly down at her little girl, wishing she could freeze time and stay in this exact moment forever.

As luck would have it, the moment was broken by a harsh knock at the front door. Peko glanced at the clock on the wall; it was just past seven AM. Laying Riki back in her crib, she wondered who could be at the door this early. Perhaps Teruteru had brought them something freshly cooked from his family restaurant, or perhaps Sonia was returning the book she had borrowed the week prior. Still engulfed in the peacefulness of the day, Peko opened the door without looking through the front window first, a very uncharacteristic decision that could only be attributed to the laziness of the morning. She was punished for this choice in due time, though, as the door swung open and Peko's blood turned to ice in her veins.

Dressed sharply in a black business suit, a short blond woman in her sixties stood on the front step as if she owned the place. Truly, her presence could make any room feel impersonal. Peko knew this well, as she had grown up in fear of this woman. A woman she had sworn to keep her family away from.

Aika Kuzuryuu, Fuyuhiko's mother.

Any words Peko had thought to say froze in her throat. How would she even address this woman now? It felt wrong to call her Mrs. Kuzuryuu, since that was also Peko's name now. Aika? No, she wouldn't dare. As a child she had addressed the matriarch of the clan as Mistress, the thought of saying it now burned like poison. Her mind was swimming as Aika began to address her.

"Ah, Pekoyama," her voice was as cold as it had been when Peko was young. "As excellent as it is to see you're continuing to fulfill your duties this many years later, this is quite an inappropriate state for you to be seen in." Aika sneered at Peko, green eyes glancing from Peko's undone hair down to her pajamas. "Though I suppose we never did keep you around for your looks," she laughed cruelly. Peko flushed pink, still unable to muster any words.

"Anyway," Aika continued, examining the nails on her right hand. "My sources tell me Fuyuhiko is living at this address, and judging by your presence, I assume this is true. He has evaded my contact and his responsibilities for too many years. Now that I have his location, I am here to stop this childish charade. Let me in now, Pekoyama."

Peko didn't move. Her mouth was dry, her hands shaking. Uncountable thoughts ran through her head, and she had no idea where to start. Something dangerous flashed in Aika's glare.

"Let me in NOW, Pekoyama!" Aika shouted.

A piercing wail carried down the hall to the door. The yelling had woken Riki. Upon hearing the cry, Aika's eyes widened.

"Is there a child here? Does Fuyuhiko have a child? Where is his wife? Is she here as well?" Aika fired off questions like bullets at Peko, one finger pointed at her accusatorily. "Do you even UNDERSTAND how inappropriate it is for you to be here? Dressed like a slob in the home of my son and his family, unbelievable."

Riki was still screaming. Choking on tears and unable to think rationally, Peko turned on her heel and ran to the nursery, Aika's belittling chasing her down the hall. She heard Aika shout "come back this instant, Pekoyama!" before Peko turned the corner and collapsed against the nursery wall, silent tears streaming down her face. She slowly lifted Riki out of her crib with shaking hands and held her daughter close to her chest. As Riki's crying faded, Peko's only became more intense, causing her to fall to her knees on the carpeted floor. Across the hall from the nursery, she heard the bedroom door creak open.

"Peko?" Fuyuhiko was still drowsy, she could hear it in his voice. From the bedroom doorway Fuyuhiko saw her, knelt on the floor with Riki and sobbing. Suddenly, he was wide awake. "Peko, what-?" His question was cut off as he took his first step into the hallway, and saw Aika, still standing haughtily at the door.

"What the fuck," Fuyuhiko growled in a voice Peko hadn't heard in years.

"Fuyuhiko," Aika greeted her son in a tone that could only be described as borderline indifference. "I was speaking with Pekoyama, but she ran off when that child started screaming. I can only hope she's assisting your wife in caring for the child, since keeping her around for any reason other than that would be WILDLY improper." She examined her son's ruffled form. "I was going to suggest you lecture Pekoyama on how she presents herself, but it seems you yourself aren't doing any better. How humiliated your wife must be."

Fuyuhiko's had his fists clenched so tight his knuckles were white. Aika was still talking.

"Of course, I only assume you're married to the child's mother. I suppose it wouldn't be beyond you to father a bastard child."

If looks could burn, Aika would be ashes. Glaring daggers, Fuyuhiko spoke through clenched teeth.

"What the fuck are you doing in my house," he spat. Aika remained unbothered.

"Is it not obvious why I'm here? I've come to bring you back to the clan." Fuyuhiko paled as she continued. "You've had your fun, avoiding your birthright, but you have responsibilities to fulfill. Your wife and the child may come with you, but not Pekoyama. She is of no use to you anymore, to any of us."

Peko, still on the floor of the nursery, slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs. Fuyuhiko saw her move out of the corner of his eye, his concern & love for her mixing with the rage he felt towards his mother, who was somehow still talking.

"Go fetch your wife and the child, Fuyuhiko. I must see if they are up to clan standards. If not, adjustments will have to be made. I'm sure you understand."

Suddenly and inexplicably, Fuyuhiko seemed to completely relax. He smiled tightly at Aika. "Of course, mother." He spat the word like an insult, turning his head to face the nursery and Peko. "Honey, could you come here a moment?" He asked her.

Peko was terrified. What was he thinking? He nodded once at her, quickly, his face certain and stern. Despite everything, she still trusted him. She stood slowly, wiping tears from her face, and moved to lay Riki in the crib.

"No, bring her too, please," Fuyuhiko said.

Cautiously, Peko obliged, laying Riki's head on her shoulder and creeping into the hallway, into Aika's condescending gaze.

Aika raised an eyebrow. "That's just the child, Fuyuhiko. I asked for the child and your wife."

"I know," Fuyuhiko said simply, taking Riki from Peko's shoulder and cradling her in his arms, making sure Aika could clearly see the baby's crown of silver hair.

Peko's wish from that morning seemed to have arrived late, as time froze still in that moment. Aika's eyes flashed erratically between the three before her, her sharp face turning a dozen different shades of red and purple as the pieces fell into place in her mind. Peko's heart was racing, though Fuyuhiko remained completely composed.

"You-" Aika sputtered, stepping further into the house. "You- you disgrace. How dare you-" She was approaching them at a steady speed down the hall. Fuyuhiko passed Riki back to Peko and stretched his arm out in front of her, forcing her to step back and behind him. Peko held her baby close as Aika reached them. Fuyuhiko stood confidently, his chin up and his arms crossed. Aika jabbed a finger at him, just as she had done to Peko earlier.

"You disgusting, pathetic disappointment of a son," Aika snarled. "Running off with the help. How dare you leave your family, your clan, your future, to waste your life on this miserable girl?"

Peko wanted to disappear. She wanted to melt into the floor, and only come back when everything was back the way it was before she'd blindly answered the door. In front of her, Fuyuhiko lowered his arm slowly, clenching his fists at his side.

"Get out." His words were flat, dangerous.

Aika opened her mouth in shock, then closed it. Her fists were clenched as well, and Peko distantly thought that they had never looked more like mother and son than they did now. They stood still, facing off, for a good moment, before Aika raised her arm and smacked Fuyuhiko across the face.

Peko gasped as Fuyuhiko fell against the wall, shocked. Riki was sobbing quietly, almost as if she was aware of what was happening. Wild-eyed, Aika turned on them. The composed woman who had entered the house was gone, and in her place Peko saw a glimpse of what she herself used to be; what this woman and her clan had instructed her to be.

A killer.

Aika raised her arm again, and Peko held Riki as close as she could, bracing for the impact.

But it never came.

Fuyuhiko had caught Aika's wrist in the air mid-swing, and had twisted her arm behind her back at a painful angle. Aika was struggling, she was strong, but her son was stronger. He caught her other wrist, twisting them both further with murder in his eyes.

"Don't you fucking dare," he snarled. Years of knowing him, and Peko had never seen him quite this way. This was something new. Something more intense.

"I'll kill you." His grip on his mother's wrists tightened. "If you even touch my wife or my daughter, I will fucking kill you."

Aika laughed once, rudely. "How dare you threaten your mother?" she spoke over her shoulder. "And for her? She's not worth this. How could you choose a tool over your own mother?"

Something cracked in Aika's wrists, and she shrieked in pain. Fuyuhiko let go of her arms, and slammed her back against the wall, holding her firmly by the shoulders.

"You..." His breathing was shallow. "You are nothing to me. After what you've done to me, to her, you mean fucking nothing to me. Peko is everything to me. She's not a tool, she's not worthless, and she is not a mistake. She's my wife, and the mother of my child, and I know damn well she's better at both of those things than you ever were. This is my family, and you are not part of it."

He let go of her shoulders. Aika had her wrists clutched against her chest, and was staring at Fuyuhiko in shock. Peko stood back, a hand over her mouth, with Riki still quietly crying against her shoulder. Fuyuhiko took a step away from his mother, gaze never breaking.

"Get out."

Wordlessly, Aika stumbled towards the door, which still stood open from when she entered. One foot outside, she turned clumsily to face Fuyuhiko.

"I hope you know how big of a mistake you just made, son." She had the same wild look in her eyes as she had before. "You will face the repercussions of your actions. You and your pathetic family." She spat the last word harshly before leaving the house. Fuyuhiko slammed and locked the door before falling against it, heaving. Peko had fallen to the floor for the second time that morning, once again crying in sync with her daughter. Peko hardly ever cried before becoming a mother, but she now felt emotions just as strongly as her baby did. Riki hiccupped through her tears, the little noise snapping Fuyuhiko back to reality. Quick as a flash, he was knelt on the floor next to Peko.

"Shit. Shit, fuck, hey, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here. It's okay." He ran his hand through her hair and down the side of her face, gently brushing away her tears. His other hand rested gently over Peko's hand that was holding Riki to her shoulder, and Peko brought her free hand up to cup her husband's face. Her fingertips brushed his cheek, and only then did she realize he was also crying.

"Here, love, give her to me. Let me take her." Fuyuhiko gently took the baby off Peko's shoulder and into the crook of his own arm. Riki was still crying, though quieter now. "Sit back, against the wall. That's it, love." Peko's back hit the wall and she buried her head in her hands, her whole body shaking. As Fuyuhiko took his place against the wall beside her, he heard her mumbling over and over;

I did this. I did this. I did this.

He wrapped his free arm around her and held her close, as close as he possibly could. "Hey, hey, no, you didn't do anything. You didn't do anything wrong." His thumb rubbed small circles into her shoulder. Still shaking, Peko lifted her tearstained face out of her hands to look at her husband.

"I didn't check. Before I opened the door, I didn't check." She took a shaky breath. "It was such a peaceful morning and I- I was so relaxed, and I could have gotten her killed. I could have gotten you both killed."

Fuyuhiko looked at her with so much love in his eyes, not a trace of anger or disappointment. She didn't understand how he wasn't upset with her after such a dangerous misstep. He simply pressed a kiss to her hair, and quietly said "hold out your arms."

Peko shakily obliged. Gently, Fuyuhiko laid Riki in her outstretched arms, keeping his hand under the baby's head as Peko held her. Upon seeing her mother's face, the baby's howls turned to quiet hiccups as her tears steadily stopped. Peko couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"See that, love? Bunny's okay. She's safe." Peko turned her head towards her husband, and pressed her forehead to his. "I'm safe," he mumbled quietly. "I'm here. We're safe."

They stayed like that for several minutes, focusing on the fact that despite what happened, they were all alive and safe and together. Eventually, Peko spoke.

"I suppose we have to move now."

Fuyuhiko laughed breathily. "Yeah. Too bad though. I liked this place."

Peko nodded once in agreement. "Perhaps our new home shouldn't have a window in the nursery that faces the street. Something tells me that might have given us away."

"Ah, man, you're probably right. Why didn't we think of that right away?"

They both looked down at Riki, who had exhausted herself crying and dozed off in their arms. Peko smiled.

"Because it made her happy. Nothing else mattered."

What a sight, two reformed Remnants of Despair and their infant daughter, collapsed on the floor of their hallway. Much like their life as a whole, their little family would never be normal.

But it was theirs.

#fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #kuzupeko #peko pekoyama #danganronpa #fuyupeko #pekomama and fuyupapa #otp: i heard your voice #goodbye despair #trigger warning #possible tw

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