#confessions of a good samaritan

[greensparty]

2023 IFFBoston Wrap-Up

From April 26 to May 3, I got to enjoy my favorite film festival in Boston, in Massachusetts and possibly the world is Independent Film Festival Boston (read my coverage here). I have a special place for this festival: in 2014 my documentary Life on the V: The Story of V66 had its World Premiere at the festival, and in 2015 I was on the Documentary Jury. Here is my lightning-round of this year’s fest:

Wed. 4/26:

Brooklyn Sudano’s intro at IFFBoston

Opening Night Film was the documentary Love to Love You, Donna Summer. Co-director Brooklyn Sudano (daughter of Donna Summer) did an intro and post-screening Q&A. The doc premieres on HBO this month. This is a solid doc about a pop icon. Some parts make you want to dance, not just the music in the doc, but the pacing and editing make you want to tap your feet. But then the doc brings it down a notch for some of the more serious aspect of Summer’s life. 

Thurs. 4/27:

I caught the low-budget quirky indie comedy Free Time. A young NYC Gen Zer decides to quit his job, not be confined to his job and enjoy his 20s - but then realizes he might’ve made a mistake. There were some inspired laughs and definitely things New Yorkers will identify with, but overall I felt like this was a short film that got stretched into a feature.

Fri. 4/28:

Penny Lane (left) doing a Q&A at IFFBoston

Penny Lane has made some great docs in the past: Nuts! was one of my 10 Best Documentaries of 2016, Hail Satan! was one of the highlights of the 2019 Boston Underground Film Festival, and Listening to Kenny G. was really good too! Now she has turned the camera onto herself as she donates a kidney in Confessions of a Good Samaritan. Penny is both the subject and the documentarian as she decides she wants to donate a kidney to a stranger and not only does she document her own journey to this procedure but she speaks to experts in altruism and organ donation. It looks at a lot of different layers and important questions this asks. It was highly thought provoking and nothing but respect for Penny in turning the camera onto herself in this deeply personal experience.

Sat. 4/29:

The Dogmatics and crew at IFFBoston

When I was making my V66 documentary a few years back, I interviewed members of Boston garage rockers The Dogmatics because they were popular on the 80s music video TV channel V66. Skip ahead to 2019, I had heard about a documentary being made about The Dogmatics, so I reached out to director Rudy Childs and producer Jada Maxwell. We met up, talked shop and I stayed in touch with them about the project over the years. A few months ago I was lucky enough to see an early screener of The Dogmatics: A Dogumentary and I am proud to be a Consulting Producer. Even though I saw a screener months ago, I liked it better watching it with an audience. This is very much an audience movie!

Sun. 4/30:

Dave Lindorff (left) at IFFBoston

One of my favorite documentarians Steve James (Hoop Dreams is one of the greatest docs ever and I was a big fan of his docs Life Itself and Abacus: Small Enough to Jail) returns with A Compassionate Spy about controversial Manhattan Project physicist Ted Hall. I didn’t know much about him before this doc, but it was truly fascinating. Many of his docs are him following the subject as their story is happening. Here it is more of a traditional documentary with archival footage, modern day interviews with Hall’s widow and re-enactments. Following the doc was a Q&A with producer Dave Lindorff. 

Dave Habeeb at IFFBoston

Later on I went to Somerville Theatre to see the doc (big year for docs at IFFBoston!!!) Beautiful Was the Fight about several Boston female musicians and their struggles in the music community. I didn’t know some of the musicians featured here, but I was really intrigued by it. Structurally this is different from a lot of Boston music docs, but it made a point about not just sexism, but also Boston as a music city without much industry representation, making it in the music world in the digital age and a larger question of what qualifies success. Director Dave Habeeb (a graduate of Fitchburg State, my alma mater!) did a Q&A afterwards!

Mon. 5/1:

When Mary Tyler Moore died in 2017, much of her legacy that was memorialized was The Mary Tyler Moore, one of my favorites. To this day the “Chuckles Bites the Dust” episode is one of the greatest episodes in sitcom history! But she left behind such a body of work in TV, theater and film, as well as philanthropy. In the doc Being Mary Tyler Moore, she gets the documentary treatment she deserves. I wasn’t too familiar with her background, but her comedic skills on The Dick Van Dyke Show and her own show were actually matched by her dramatic skills as well in such films as Ordinary People. Watch for this when it’s on HBO.

Tues. 5/2:

I went to see the upcoming HBO doc Time Bomb Y2K, which was produced by Penny Lane, whose doc Confessions of a Good Samaritan I saw on Friday. In the mid-late 90s there was tons of concern about the Y2K bug of computers not being able to understand the year 00 and how they could cause mass chaos for everything connected to computers, i.e. banks, public transportation, utilities...pretty much everything. Was the world going to end on Jan. 1, 2000? This doc is made up entirely of archival footage showing the countdown from 1995 to the year 2000. I dug this because even though it was a legit concern, from the standpoint of 2023, looking at a time before the terrible things we’ve faced since, Y2K hysteria seems tame by contrast.

I also caught the Shorts Gloucester Documentary shorts program. I went because my friend James Rutenbeck (who has had docs at IFFBoston in the past), had a short doc Nixon’s Reversal that was in the program. It looked back with both scholars and archival footage at a brief moment when President Nixon supported a policy that would guarantee American families basic income. This is a piece of history I didn’t know about and was intrigued by. That Nixon of all people was on board with this was mind-boggling. Hats off for the archival footage too.

Wed. 5/3:

Celine Song at IFFBoston

Closing Night with Past Lives. I’d been hearing a lot of great things about this in recent months and honestly, it was my favorite movie of this year’s IFFBoston. It shows Nora and Hae Sung, a girl and boy in Seoul. Their budding romance ends when her family moves to Canada. Twelve years later, they re-connect on social media and begin talking while she’s a student in NYC and he’s a student in Korea. Then twelve years later they reconnect again when he visits NYC, this time Nora is now married. I really got into the way the story was told over the course of 24 years and how people change, evolve, process and move on. Director Celine Song did and intro and then did a Q&A with festival director Brian Tamm. A24 is releasing this in June - go see it!

Cheryl, Rudi and me at IFFBoston after-party

Afterwards, I went to a wrap party, where I got my picture taken with Cheryl Eagan-Donovan (director of All Kindsa Girls, the doc about The Real Kids), Rudy Childs (director The Dogmatics: A Dogumentary), and me (director of Life on the V: The Story of V66 about V66)! Three Boston music documentarians walk into a bar....

It was another great IFFBoston and now I need a nap from all of the films and activity I did in that 8 day period!

For info on IFFBoston: https://iffboston.org/

[lzrdprsn]

Tell me more about rain dove?

I mean, there's not a lot more to say than what I already said. In the mid-2010s, Rain Dove was like the first like really popular nonbinary "influencer." At least, the first super popular one that I remember. They would post on insta/Twitter posts like "messages between me and the conservative woman who accused my internet presence of turning her son trans." There was one time where they alleged that they'd been pepper sprayed in a public restroom and that the person who'd done it had sent them DMs. Or people would "reach out" to them about their own experiences or asking for help to support family/friends that had come out. At one point, Rain Dove was popular enough that they got asked to do TedTalks about being nonbinary. They claimed to have gone to Berkeley for Genetic Engineering. They claimed that they were a fire fighter and fought the really bad wild fires in California. A few years later, turns out Rain totally lied about being a fire fighter, lied about going to Berkeley, lied about their degree, etc. So then it was like, "Well, if you lied about all that, what else did you lie about?" And it turns out a lot of the claims about conversations and run ins with transphobes that they allegedly had don't actually hold up under a microscope.

At one point, they'd posted an apology video, but I can't find it now (I'll post it if I find it). I guess my point is just that knowing all of that about them, it makes me wonder about their motives and the validity of some of their most recent comment, claims, and actions regarding Gaza and Palestine.

I'm not saying they're lying about anything now, but I am saying that maybe we should take what they say with a generous grain of salt and a critical lense.

EDIT: The "Exposing Myself: Sharing Secrets and Lies" video has been made private.

Here is an NBC article about all this.

[primofate]

Rejecting then Regretting, Confession Brainrot [Genshin Impact]

I'm pretty sure this is a trope? What's it called?

Very quickly typing this just so I don't lose the idea.

Trigger Warning: mentions of accidents and near death of reader

You've been friends for forever, and have been by each other's side for a long time.

So you confess.

You get rejected.

He loves you, but he gives you some type of reason as to why its not possible. He has a dangerous life. He has a lot of enemies. He'll outlive you. etc. etc.

So you leave. What can you do, right? How can you stay friends after that?

In the midst of leaving, a few days after or somewhere along the way. You get attacked. Or injured. Perhaps an accident that sends you rolling down the mountains of Teyvat. Anyhow, you're battered up but somehow a good samaritan finds you and takes you to a doctor.

Male character you confessed to has no idea, but the longer you're gone the more he realizes he probably made a mistake. Life just doesn't seem right or complete, without you. Also, suddenly not having you beside him, after all those years toughing it out together? Obviously something was missing.

So he goes looking for you. He knows where you live. Easy. He's been there thousands of times.

Except, you're not there. Neighbour tells him you're at the doctor's.

He's left standing next to the bed you're on, mouth agape at the bandages wrapped around you.

Doctor says its been 4 days and you hadn't woken up. Doctor isn't sure if you'll actually make it.

and Oh Archons, he doesn't think he's had his world shaken so badly before. Or, for certain characters, it's been a while since its been shaken this badly.

He trembles. Maybe not physically, but his heart does. For some characters, there are tears. For some, just shock.

But for all of them, it suddenly gets harder to breathe.

End idea and brainrot.

Thinking of writing this out for a few male characters.

[lilacgyuvin]

star — p. gunwook

pairing: gunwook x gn!reader

synopsis: gunwook unfortunately loses his wallet. luckily for him, a good samaritan is kind enough to trace the address on his i.d. and brings it straight to his doorstep! too bad it’s his newly ex-best friend (post-dramatic confession of love).

word count: 3.6k

warnings: highschool!au, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, BARELY proofread, jealous gunwookie, talks of falling out, misunderstandings, miscommunication, feat. seniors hanbin and seunghan (and eunseok), not to be taken serious this is just fiction!!

a/n: needed a break from writing that tattoo artist jiwoong au so i wrote this 🥸

Gunwook’ s lost his wallet.

It’s no big deal! It’s not like his whole life is in there or anything: his money, I.D., credit and debit card, along with his ultra rare Twicecoaster Lane 1 devil Nayeon photocard— yeah, he’d be fine without them.

He only realizes when he get’s on the train home from school, reaching for the photocard for emotional support after the shit week he’s had until he realizes it’s in his wallet which definitely isn’t in any of his pockets right now.

He finally lets out what he thinks is a quiet ‘fuck!’ after patting his pockets down and emptying out his backpack for the third time, which ends up not being as quiet as he originally thought, if the looks from the elderly couple sat across from him are anything to go by.

A few hours go by, and he’s still mourning the loss of devil Nayeon— oh, and all that other stuff too, he guesses. To get his mind off of things, Gunwook thinks a game of Fortnite with his loving friends would do the trick. It’s twenty minutes after when their entire squad gets wiped out (and proceed to get emoted on) is when he retracts that whole idea.

“I’m positive those guys were like, ten year olds. Do you know how embarrassing that is?!” Hanbin’s voice comes from Gunwook’s headset, meshing with the groans of Eunseok and the laughter of Seunghan on the other ends of the call.

“Obviously, it just happened to us! And the audacity. of Gyuvin to leave when he’s the reason we lost. His aim is so fucking ass,” Eunseok speaks loud and fast into his mic, making Gunwook wince at the volume. He seriously needs to start putting his volume down as soon as Eunseok joins. “Why do we still play with him? No, seriously someone answer me, why do we still play with him? Can we replace him with Y/n? Matter fact, I’m calling them right now I can’t do this.”

Seunghan’s laughter comes to a halt the minute their name is mentioned, just like Gunwook’s breathing for a split second.

“Eunseok.” Seunghan says his name and it sounds like Eunseok’s movements come to a stop, the only sound being that of the classic lobby music and the occasional Ps4 notification.

“... Does Gyuvin not have shit aim? I mean, we all saw that.” he says, and Hanbin then decides it’s his turn to speak up. “Maybe don’t talk about Y/n right now.”

It’s only now that Gunwook realizes he hadn’t told Eunseok about the whole ordeal this entire time, and it’s evident in the way he gasps from the other end of the call. “Y/n?! The fuck happened with Y/n? Oh my God please don’t tell me I have to cut them off they’re so fun. Speaking of, we have plans next week on Thursday to this new—”

“Eunseok seriously shut the fuck up.”

“ ‘Kay I’m gonna go heat up my hot pockets.”

Gunwook feels bad since he’s kind of the reason why Eunseok got cursed out by Seunghan. He’ll make it up to him after the upcoming, full on expected pep talk from Hanbin.

“You two still aren’t talking?” he asks the same time Eunseok logs off, and Gunwook thinks that maybe he too can escape this if he leaves without a second thought. He then realizes that Hanbin can literally just call him after he leaves, so he decides to dish it out and get it over with, mumbling his next words. “Well they’re not talking to me.”

It sounds childish, but he wasn’t lying! “The phone works both ways, Gunwook.” he sighs, the sounds of him readjusting in his seat being heard before he’s continuing, “Was it that embarrassing?”

Gunwook forgets that he didn’t explain the extent of the situation to his senior, so it isn’t entirely Hanbin’s fault that he thinks that Gunwook is simply embarrassed, but he can’t help the groan that follows anyway. “It’s not just that. It’s- I can’t even say.”

It’s nothing personal, really— everyone knows that Sunghoon and Y/n used to go out (for a mere 5 months, so Gunwook doesn’t even care for real!). What people didn’t know was how they swore to Gunwook that they’d never get back with him, not even for a second, so when Gunwook finally realizes the feelings he has for his best friend and decides to do something about them (queue chocolates and flowers at the end of the school day), the last thing he expects to see is Y/n and fucking Sunghoon, holding each other in a warm hug, like they’d shrivel up and die if they were to part.

Gunwook wished that had happened to him when he walks into the empty classroom, the wrapping from the flower arrangement in his hands startling the two out of their tight embrace. They looked like a pair of deer caught in headlights, frozen in place as they watch Gunwook’s word die on his tongue, mouth agape as he tries to restore them.

“Sorry. Bad time.” it’s the only coherent thing he can manage to say before he’s making a beeline for the door, too embarrassed and upset to verbalize the rest of his thoughts. Never getting back together, huh? Gunwook’s feeling a lot of things in this current moment, but the one that sticks out the most is how utterly stupid he feels. It’s so intense it almost drives him to anger, but he’s on the train home before it can get to that point, free from the fear of them running after him.

He isn’t particularly proud of what he does when they text him almost immediately after the whole ordeal, only responding after he gets home.

Y/NN����🔥💕😘😇: omg i’m so sorry i totally forgot you asked to meet up

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: we were just talking

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: did you still wanna talk? where’d you go??

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: gunwook??

You:

sorry i had to rush home

You:

its fine tho lol

You:

i was just gonna ask your opinion on

the flowers i got

You:

they’re for eunchae

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: oh

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: i didn’t know you liked eunchae?

You:

yup

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: okay well then yeah they’re really pretty

Y/NN🔥🔥💕😘😇: she’ll really like them

You:

thanks 🙌

Okay don’t look at him like that. He had to save face! He feels bad as soon as he spews the lie out, but then he remembers the way his heart dropped to his ass at the sight of Y/n and Sunghoon hugging, and convinces himself that maybe this was for the best.

What Gunwook doesn’t expect are the two weeks that follow. To describe them in two words: extremely awkward. The following morning, instead of the two taking the train together like they normally do, Gunwook makes up some lame excuse about being late and ends up taking the longer way. They talk during the classes they have together, but it’s all stiff and feels uncomfortable, despite anyone saying anything about it. Going home is the same as the morning was, yet this time it was Y/n who couldn’t make it, saying they had to visit a relative after school.

It was always easy for the two to tell whenever the other was lying, but Gunwook wants to give them the benefit of the doubt, seeing as he wasn’t so truthful himself just recently. When the two do arrive home, there are no texts exchanged or calls that go on for hours on end like usual, and it makes Gunwook uneasy, but the feeling of being rejected without actually being rejected was more prominent in that moment, so he left it alone.

He didn’t know that the lack of communication on both ends would lead to them not talking at all, though! It didn’t help that he’d see them talking with Sunghoon again in the hallway only two days later, rubbing a reassuring hand along their arm, which then prompts him to talk with Eunchae during the period he knows he shares with Y/n. That day is what really set the tone for the rest of the week, he thinks; no calls or texts, passing each other through the hallways, and going home together came to a dead end. All the little things that made Gunwook not absolutely hate school were taken away from him, and he feels it’s partially his fault which made it suck even more.

It took his friends, including his seniors, only two days to realize that something was wrong, which is what’s prompted Hanbin to lecture him every chance he gets for the past two weeks.

“Well maybe you should text them anyway. I bet they miss you just as much as you miss them, right Seunghan?”

There’s absolutely no way Seunghan was listening in, seeing as he doesn’t answer til five seconds later when Hanbin clears his throat. “Oh! Yes, definitely.”

“What are you even here for.”

“Emotional support? I don’t know man, I just wanted to play Fortnite.”

“Seunghan.”

Seunghan whines at the disapproving tone of Hanbin’s voice, not sure how he got roped into being scolded alongside Gunwook. Hanbin’s just that good, he guesses.

“Ugh okay fine. Not gonna lie Gunwook, seeing you two not talking is really depressing, for all of us, and honestly super unsettling. Just tell them how you feel and maybe don’t lie to your crush about having a crush who isn’t actually your crush. How’d I do Hanbin?”

“Absolutely terrible. Please log off.”

Before Seunghan can defend himself against what Hanbin identifies as Useless Senior Syndrome™, there’s a steady knock coming from the front door, successfully getting Gunwook out of the lecturing. “Thanks guys, but I have to go.”

The two can barely bid their goodbyes before Gunwook is logging off, scurrying down the steps as the knocking increases in speed.

“I’m coming!” he half-screams. He knows it isn’t his mom because she always has her keys, so it’s okay that he raised his voice a bit. He honestly thinks it’s Yujin from next door, most likely wanting to borrow Gunwook’s switch again after he miraculously submerged his own into water. He swears to God if he doesn’t return it back on time again—

Oh. This isn’t Yujin.

What stood in front of him held waves of familiarity: one being the navy blue leather-skinned wallet he’d gotten gifted by a relative a while back, the one that’s been home to his ultra rare Twicecoaster Lane 1 devil Nayeon photocard for years now— and the other being the person he’s gotten to know over the past seven years, who’s favorite foods he’s mastered and whose voice he can point out in a room full of thousands. The one who sits through the same old episodes of ‘Haikyuu!!’ with him, despite already seeing them multiple times. His best friend, who he hasn’t talked to in over two weeks, over his own fears and insecurities, is now at his front doorstep with his wallet in their hand, face unreadable to Gunwook for the first time since they’ve met.

“You forgot your wallet in Ms. Chwe’s class.”

Ms.Chwe’s class; the last period that they share with each other, where he was too busy trying to avoid Y/n’s gaze so in turn chatted up anyone who’d listen, not paying enough attention to the wallet that was falling out of his front pocket. Gunwook can’t even feel relieved that his most prized possession is safe, nor can he think of a way to make it anyone else’s fault at the moment given that his (ex?) best friend, who he hasn’t even glanced at in 14 days, is standing at his door with it in hand.

‘What am I supposed to even say?’ The silence that follows after still isn’t as embarrassing as that cursed Wednesday two weeks ago, so he tried to avoid saying anything that may exceed that level. “Thanks… okay bye.”

Okay what the fuck was that. He almost slams his head against the door, but he thankfully doesn’t have to dwell on it for too long, as they’re speaking before he knows it.

“You seriously don’t wanna talk about this?” They say, and Gunwook doesn’t know why it shocks him— they’d always been the confrontational type when needed.

“What do you wanna talk about?” He thinks it’s a pretty valid question, given that they could be referring to multiple things, but Y/n apparently doesn’t think so, if the roll of their eyes were anything to go by.

“You can’t be serious. About how you’ve been ignoring me for the longest!”

“Wha- only because you’ve been ignoring me!”

“That’s what most people do when someone’s been ignoring them first, dumbass.”

Gunwook huffs, he almost forgot how stubborn the both of them could be. “This is going nowhere. Just- come inside.” He gives up, decides to be the bigger person and let them in, not wanting their first interaction in so long to be an argument outside his door. Also because Yujin can be quite the creep and likes to instigate arguments from his bedroom window (he knows this because they’ve done it together).

They make themselves comfortable on the couch best associated with movie nights and hot cocoa during winter break, sitting on opposite ends. The air feels stale, and Gunwook feels like he has to say something before he can let the silence linger any longer. “D’you want some wate-”

“What did I do to you?” he’s cut off, the voice quieter prior to it outside. They turn to face Gunwook with hands gripping both knees reassuringly and— are they crying? “I mean, I’ve been trying to figure it out for so long, but I can't think of anything. Was it the flowers? Did she not like them?”

Gunwook wants to wipe off the face of the Earth. Not only were they crying, but they were kind enough to consider the feelings of others while nursing their own, successfully breaking his heart, while also making him feel unfathomably shitty.

He’s by their side in less than a second, not quite sure what to do with his hands as he lets out a stream of ‘no no no’ and ‘please don’t cry’. They won’t even look at him this time either, opting out to facing the wall in front of them instead. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/n.”

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

Gunwook sighs, finally deciding to rest his hands on his thighs. “I’m going to tell you, but you have to tell me why you were too, okay?” He asks and they nod almost immediately. “And you can’t laugh either. Seriously, I will kick you out.”

“I’ll walk out myself if you don’t spit it out already.” They attempt to say it threateningly, but they’re pouting and Gunwook hates how cute he finds it, considering their current circumstances.

“Okay I was getting there,” He can’t help the snark remark, and he half blames it on the fact that he’s about to do the thing that he never got to two weeks ago: confess his undying love for his best friend of over seven years to said best friend. Folding his hands atop his legs, Gunwook takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a split second before opening them as he exhales.

“Those flowers weren’t for anyone but you.” He’s not facing them, he absolutely cannot right now, instead focusing his gaze on his now sweaty hands, but he still hears the hitch in their breathing— it’s as clear as day. “I was going to give them to you, tell you about my feelings, but then I saw you with fucking Sunghoon, and I- I don’t know. I just felt so embarrassed and stupid and angry, so I came up with that stupid lie,” He finally finds the courage to face them, looking up to find their eyes already on him. “I’m sorry.”

Silence follows, and Gunwook fully expects it, but fuck was it agonizing. His face is practically on fire and he doesn’t want to break eye contact because he wants to ‘assert male dominance’ or whatever the hell Eunseok was going on about that one time he gave advice absolutely no one asked for, but it’s getting harder as the seconds go by and he just might explode right where he sits.

“Gunwook. You’re not gonna believe this but I was talking to Sunghoon about you,” Oh thank God they broke the silence— but what did they say? “I wanted to know if it’d make things weird between you and him if I asked you out or something, since you two are on the same dance team. I was also asking for advice on how to do it, since I’ve never asked anyone out before. I was going to the day after, but then you said you wanted to confess to Eunchae and I got really upset, I didn’t want to see your face at all.”

It’s now Gunwook’s turn to stare in silence, his previous anxious feeling replaced with one that screamed ‘what the fuck is happening I can’t believe this is happening right now’.

“What.” It’s all he can manage to say at the moment— if he felt stupid before, it’s definitely hitting harder this time around. He was avoiding his crush (who also has a crush on him, apparently?!), his best friend, all over nothing. His cheeks are becoming hot again and he feels like crying.

In classic Gunwook fashion, he does the most rational thing he can think of at the moment and bows his head beside their lap, clasping his hands in front of it as he lets out streams of ‘I’m sorry’, catching them completely off guard.

“Get up! It’s fine Gunwook, seriously." They reassure him, but he doesn’t dare get up from his position, only raising his head ever so slightly. “You still like me? Even though I lied to you and made you cry?”

They seem to find humor in his current predicament, giggling as they move a hand to pat his head. “I shed one tear. And dude, I lied too. I’m sorry as well, I was just scared.” It’s said with earnest, and Gunwook can feel it through their gaze once he finally gains the courage to lift himself up, his confidence fully restored. “Okay if we’re gonna date, you cannot call me dude anymore.”

“Is this you asking me out for real this time?” A hint of amusement makes its way onto their face, lolling their head to the side as they ask.”

“Yes. Wait no.” The switch up visibly confuses them, even more so when Gunwook gets up from his seat, instructing them to ‘wait here’ as he runs to the kitchen, coming back with a single flower. “My mom wouldn’t let them go to waste. They’re in a vase and she’ll kill me if I take all of them.”

They laugh, both because Gunwook was so so sweet and because his mom really would kill him. “Will you go out with me?” He knows it’s short, but he could tell them all the things he likes about them over takeout, and he really wants to kiss them right now.

“That was lackluster,” They say as they snatch the flower from their hands, but their actions are words are laced with playfulness, and they contradict themselves when they move to embrace him in a warm hug. “But yes, since you asked so nicely.”

Gunwook almost shoves them away if it weren’t for how intimate the current moment was. He’s glad they can still play around after spending so much time apart from each other. “Shut up! I just wanted to kiss you already. Wait, would that be weird?”

They look up, contemplating it for a second before they look back at him with a shrug. “I don’t know, but you can give me a kiss on the cheek. The one that isn’t wet.”

He takes takes that as a win, holding their damp cheek in favor of landing a peck on the opposite. Then another on their forehead. And another on the same cheek, but in a different place. It soon turns to him showering them with kisses all over, causing them to fall back on the cushions as they begin to laugh, taking Gunwook down with them as he refuses to stop. “Gunwook! I said one!”

He doesn’t even have the mind to grace them with an answer as he joins them in laughter, too overjoyed and buoyant with that fact that he’s now free from many things; free from hiding his feelings, from his insecurities now that their feelings were laid bare and are mutual, and free from pretending that he was okay letting his best friend falls into the hands of another. He no longer has to worry about any of that though, as they’re right where he wants them, where he deems perfect.

The cafeteria is booming as always, Gunwook and his friends (seniors and same-age mates alike) already seated at their table as they await the arrival of a few others. None of them say anything about the way Gunwook and Y/n are holding hands under the table, but there are definitely shared glances exchanged between Hanbin and Seunghan.

It’s only been two days since Gunwook’s actual successful confession, and they still have yet to say it outright, so they’ve just decided to let everyone come to their own conclusions. He thinks they’re on the right track though, with the way they shot him a thumbs up from across the table.

“Y/n!” It’s yelled from behind them, making the entire table, if not the whole cafeteria turn their heads to the source of the noise. Gunwook wishes he could say he was surprised as to who it was.

Eunseok practically tackles Y/n with the force in which he runs to their side, engulfing them in a hug from behind. “I thought I was gonna lose you! Don’t tell Gunwook, but you’ve always been my favorite junior.”

“I’m right here.”

“Shut up dont ruin this for me.”

a/n: we all know gunwook would be a communication king but i wanted to write this anyway. and guys i promise i can write things other than love confessions gimme like two weeks!!! also recs are open likes + reblogs are always appreciated ty baii

[pretty-blkgirl]

Black Hole

//gn!reader x Jeongin//

Synopsis: You and I.N get stuck on the side of the road

Genre: angst, eventual fluff

Warnings: none really, there’s swearing (of course)

A/N: MERRY (post) CHRISTMAS!!! I hope you guys had a great holiday! We’re almost in 2024, and I knew I couldn’t go into the near year without writing anything for our Innie 🫶🏾

Listen to: https://youtu.be/4cQtrZM0zrg?si=Yz0FyYgeH5q_axzw

~~~~|~~~~

“I fucking hate you,” He says, for the 5th time in the last 10 minutes. You sigh and roll your eyes again, looking down at your phone to see if there is a chance you magically got any service.

You and I.N. sat in your little red car, groceries in the backseat and tank empty. The guys asked you guys to go to the store to grab snacks for your weekly movie night.

You barely had any gas, but had just enough to make it to the store 10 minutes away and back. At the store, you discovered that the chip flavor Han likes wasn’t in stock.

Being the great friend that you are, you opted to go to the store a little while away to get them. I.N. told you not to since your car was nearly out of gas. When you insisted on going to the store, he asked you to at least get gas first.

You agreed and started on your drive to the gas station that was only 5 minutes away from the store. 13 minutes into your drive to the gas station (that’s the opposite way from the dorms) your car would run out of gas.

The gas station was a 4-minute drive but about a 10-minute walk. You and I.N would have no problem doing the walk if it wasn’t a dark and deserted road you lost gas on.

On the one hand, you guys could jog it and grab the gas, hoping that you won’t get hit by a car or possibly get attacked.

On the other hand, you guys could wait on the side of the road and hope that the boys magically appear to rescue you or a Good Samaritan helps you out.

You would have called for help but you had no signal. At first, I.N. was going to go grab the gas and have you watch the car but you didn’t want to be left alone and didn’t want him to go by himself.

When you suggested that you go get the gas, he said “Absolutely fucking not. You already got us deserted, you think I’m gonna have you get yourself kidnapped too?”

Again, you guys thought about getting the gas together but it’s dark and scary, and you would rather not leave the car.

“Let’s just wait until someone drives by. We can flag them down or something” You say, sighing as you lean back in your seat

“Mhm” I.N hums, “Let's just hope the person that stops isn’t a homicidal maniac”

“I don’t think anyone would try to harm us”

You guys stay quiet for a bit until I.N. suddenly taps your shoulder. You look at him again and he says again; “I fucking hate you”

“I’m aware” You humorlessly chuckle

“You’re always getting us into stupid fucking situations”

You squint your eyes, shooting a glare toward him, “I am not”

“Yeah, you are. You got us stuck in a ditch last week”

You roll your eyes, “We got stuck because you grabbed the wheel dumbass”

“I grabbed the wheel because YOU let go of it”

“For a SPLIT second to rub my eye. You panicked for no good reason”

You and I.N. were prone to arguing. Of course, you guys were friends, and you loved one another, but the bickering between you and him was a sure thing.

The guys always joke you guys would be arguing even at your wedding, which would send I.N. into a blushing mess and cause you to stutter embarrassingly.

The guys knew that you liked I.N, hell, you may even be in love with him. Unbeknownst to you, they knew he was equally smitten over you.

They wanted to let you both realize your feelings all on your own, so they would always have you guys run little errands together so you guys could confess to one another.

However, you two sat in the front seats of your car shamelessly yelling at each other. You both were getting increasingly frustrated as time with on.

I.N. made you so mad that you left the car, making sure to grab your bag and phone. You slammed the door shut and started to walk down the road, deciding to just go get the gas on your own.

You didn’t get too far though, as I.N was quick to leave the car and go after you. He harshly grabbed your arm and spun you around when he caught up.

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?” He screams.

You try to get out of his grasp but he keeps a firm grip on your arm

“Let me go Jeongin” You spat. His angry expression falters for a second until he gets mad all over again

“Get back in the car. It’s not safe”

You groan dramatically, “I’ll be fine. It’s only 10 minutes. I would rather risk getting kidnapped than argue with you”

You finally break free of his hold and continue your walk until he grabs you and throws you over his shoulder.

You don’t even fight it once he sets you down near the car.

“Get back in the car y/n.” He says calmly

You two seem to have a staring contest until he sees frustrated tears leave your eyes. He gives in, hugging you tightly and immediately apologizing.

“I’m sorry. I’m being a jerk, just get in the car please”

When you don’t move he lets you go, looking into your eyes.

You don’t know why you weren’t moving. Something was keeping your feet planted right where they were. Your heart fluttered when he looked at you, even in the dark his eyes shined so bright.

Your anger had faltered, leaving behind a state of confusion.

No matter how much you guys fought, you always fell back into him. It’s like gravity leads you back to him, you’re trapped, there’s nothing you can do.

As for I.N., he’s drawn to you. He secretly loves you two’s little quarrels. He loves the way you look when you’re passionate about something. But also, he loves it when you’re calm and happy, he loves it when you’re sad, and he loves this moment.

Staring into your eyes, your heartbeat increases as you two get closer.

There is no space left between you when your lips meet. You two wrap around each other and a sense of relief floods your body. Everything feels right.

The kiss is nothing short of steamy, you two not caring even as bright lights are on you, suggesting someone is finally driving down the road.

When you open your eyes and pull away, you look to your left and see a familiar car, and an even more familiar sound of cheers as windows roll down.

“How’d they find us?” You whisper, looking up at an already smiling I.N.

“I’m not sure” He laughs

He grabs your hand as the guys pull up behind you.

“Fucking finally” Chan expresses as he and the rest of the boys pile out of the car

[raz-writes-the-thing]

second masterlist

this masterlist is closed (has hit the link limit). please see masterlist masterpost for more works.

fandoms are in alphabetical order.

BAD SAMARITAN

Cale Erendreich x Reader

Headcanons

Cale NSFW Alphabet 18+

Cale x GN!Reader comfort HCs

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Violent in Nature - (Cale Erendreich x FTM!Reader)

Cale catches you doing something you shouldn't be.

Eight-Legged Horror - (Cale Erendreich x GN!Reader)

There's an eight-legged horror in your lunchbox. Cale is not impressed with your response to it.

Not The Bamboo Sheets - (Cale Erendreich x GN!Reader) 18+

Cale has some bratty behaviour to correct.

Focus Please - (Cale Erendreich x GN!Reader)

Cale takes care of you when you get a nosebleed.

What's For Dinner? (Cale Erendreich x GN!Reader)

Cale catches you eavesdropping on his phone call.

BOYS (THE)

Billy Butcher x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Something New - (Billy Butcher x Fem!Reader) 18+

Slapping Billy doesn't go the way you think it would.

Little Kreature - (Billy Butcher x Fem!Reader)

The mission goes well and Butcher's found a surprise for you.

Soldier Boy x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

My Command - (Soldier Boy x GN!Reader)

Soldier Boy knows just how to push your buttons.

BROADCHURCH

Alec Hardy x Reader

Headcanons

Alec Hardy NSFW Alphabet 18+

Alec Comfort HCs

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

A Reception Worth The Miss - (Alec Hardy x Fem!Reader) 18+

You were pretty far from where the ceremony had taken place by now and you were sure you were probably missing the opening bits of the reception.

New Years - (Alec Hardy x GN!Reader)

Neither of you have had a New Years kiss before- it's time that changed.

Gallery Shenanigans - (Alec Hardy x Masc!Reader) 18+

Alec gives you a handjob in the art gallery bathrooms

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Beanpole Icepack - (Alec Hardy x GN!Reader)

Alec runs cold. You run hot. Match made in heaven.

Ask Me Again In The Morning - (Alec Hardy x Masc!Reader)

Alec's drunk when he confesses his feelings for you.

The Way You Taste - (Alec Hardy x Fem!Reader) 18+

Alec loves the way you taste.

Nip To The Park - (Alec Hardy x GN!Reader)

Alec discovers your newest yappy crime.

DOCTOR WHO

Missy x GN!Reader hcs 18+

Tenth Doctor x Eleventh Doctor x Reader

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

The Opposite Effect - (Tenth Doctor x Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

Was it a mistake riling the two of them up? Possibly. Will you do it again? Most definitely.

A Little Paradox Never Hurt Nobody - (Tenth Doctor x Eleventh Doctor x Fem!Reader) 18+

It's been six months since Eleven joined you both, and it's safe to say things have escalated a little.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Keep 'Er Steady - (Tenth Doctor x Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

It's about time you learnt how to fly the TARDIS

Tenth Doctor x Tentoo x GN!Reader

Headcanons

NSFW general headcanons

Tenth Doctor x Reader

Headcanons

NSFW ALPHABET

Ten with shy singing reader

Dark!Ten aftercare HCs

Ten x AFAB!GN!Reader eating out hcs 18+

Ten x Tall!GN!Reader HCs

Ten x Short!GN!Reader HCs

Subby!Ten x GN!Reader HCS 18+

Full Length Fics (600 words plus)

Need A Ride? - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

You’d fucked him many times, of course, but never like this. Never on top.  

Oval Office Adjacent - (Dark!Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

The Doctor gets a little jealous when an alien race turns its carnal sights on you.

Unbidden - (Dark!Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

The Doctor's gone too far this time.

Sometimes All We Need Is A Good Cry - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader)

It's all in the title, babes

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Worth It - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader)

It might be time to reflect on the choices that brought you here.

Devoid of Attention - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor is oblivious as per usual.

The Whole Time - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor finds your love letters.

Fun Tonight - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

Overstimulation with the Doctor

Mine - (Dark!Tenth Doctor x Fem!Reader) 18+

Dark!Ten would do anything to keep you with him.

Not For Lack of Squirming - (Dark!Ten x GN!Reader) 18+

Oral with Dark!Ten

Merry Christmas, Doctor - (Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor plans a Christmas holiday

Eleventh Doctor x Reader

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

Still Out There - (Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader)

There were few things you’d never seen by this point, but the Doctor crying? That was definitely not something you’d seen before.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Do It Together - (Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader)

Prompt: “When have I ever been wrong? … except about women. Generally.”

Unplanned Surprise - (Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader)

You have an unplanned surprise to tell the Doctor about.

President of the World - (Eleventh Doctor x GN!Reader)

You don't believe the Doctor when he tells you he's President of the World.

Twelfth Doctor x Reader

Headcanons

Twelfth Doctor NSFW Alphabet

Full-length Fics (600 words plus)

Decidedly Not A Design Flaw - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader) 18+

The Doctor catches you fantasising about his hands.

No More Leaking - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor discovers you're not sleeping well.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Magazine Florets - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader)

Catch and release prompt "animals"

Unofficial Fifth Member of the Beatles - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader)

the Doctor has a new and unexpected accessory.

Terrible Idea - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor catches you watching Jurassic Park. Again.

Better? - (Twelfth Doctor x GN!Reader)

The Doctor comes to realise his lack of physical affection has been having more of an impact than he thought.

GOOD OMENS

Aziraphale x Crowley x Reader

Headcanons

Reader with long hair HCs

Aziraphale x Reader

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

Sinning With Lust - (Aziraphale x GN!Reader) 18+

Aziraphale catches you reading a spicy novel.

New Year's Kiss - (Aziraphale x GN!Reader)

Aziraphale asks to be your New Year's kiss.

Scar Tissue - (Aziraphale x FTM!Reader)

It's been one year since your top surgery.

Snowed In - (Aziraphale x GN/GF!Reader)

It's time you came out to Aziraphale as genderfluid.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Very Entertaining - (Aziraphale x GN!Reader)

Aziraphale cannot fathom why you enjoy horror movies so much

Spent and Sated - (Aziraphale x GN!Reader) 18+

Aziraphale knows you can take one more load.

Crowley x Reader

Headcanons

Reader with period HCs

Karaoke with Crowley HCs

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

You Didn't Say The Magic Word - (Crowley x GN!Reader)

Crowley isn't the biggest fan of your house guest.

First Picnic - (Crowley x Fem!Reader) 18+

You talk Crowley into going on a picnic date with you.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

An Unexpected Cosplay - (Crowley x GN!Reader)

Crowley is small, and a pain in your ass.

Talk To Me - (Crowley x GN!Reader)

Crowley never fails to comfort you when you need it. Particularly when your mother is involved.

The Way You Look Tonight (Crowley x GN!Reader)

You might be sick, but you'll be damned if you don't get this dance.

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON

Daemon Targaryen x Reader

Headcanons

Daemon x Masc!Knight!reader hcs

Full-Length fics (600 words plus)

A Fruit So Sweet - (Daemon Targaryen x Fem!Reader)

Daemon's noticed you before, and tonight he makes his first move.

Something In The Way - (Daemon Targaryen x GN!Reader) 18+

You reflect on the way Daemon touches you.

Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader

One-Shots (600 words plus)

Gaze of the Moon - (GN!Reader)

You and your wife, Princess Rhaenyra steal a moment of peace together as you prepare for the coming birth of your child.

MARVEL

Eddie Brock/Venom x Reader

Headcanons

Venom x GN!Reader Relationship HCs

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

Is That A Promise? - (Eddie Brock/Venom x GN!Reader)

Telling you about Venom does not go entirely how Eddie planned.

Naughty Thoughts - (Eddie Brock/Venom x Fem!Reader) 18+

Venom discovers your dirty thoughts about him and his tongue.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Sweet Like Chocolate - (Venom x GN!Reader)

Venom's enjoys it when you're his host.

Safe Together - (Venom x GN!Reader)

Venom has a confession to make to you.

Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

A Hug? - (Loki Laufeyson x GN!Reader)

You ask Loki for a hug. He's very Loki about it.

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

Ed Teach/Blackbeard x Reader

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

On Your Knees, Love - (Ed Teach x GN!Reader) 18+

You find out Ed has a thing for having his hair played with.

Stede Bonnet x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Show Business - (Stede Bonnet x GN!Reader)

Stede is teaching you a thing or two about piracy.

PRODIGAL SON

Martin Whitly x Reader

Headcanons

Martin Whitly NSFW Alphabet

Giving Martin head after dinner hcs 18+

Martin Whitly x GN!Reader Snuggle HCs

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

Study Bunny - (Martin Whitly x GN!Reader) 18+

You ride Martin's thighs.

Doctor's Orders - (Martin Whitly x GN!Reader)

You're feeling unwell. Good thing there's a doctor on hand.

SIX OF CROWS / SHADOW AND BONE

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Full-Length Fics (600 words plus)

Passing The Baton - (Kaz Brekker x GN!Reader)

To your knowledge, your crush on Kaz is unrequited. Apparently, this is not the case.

Paying Attention - (Kaz Brekker x GN!Reader)

You're a little clueless, but the Crows are trying their best to get you to see the light.

Heated Gaze - (Kaz Brekker x GN!Reader) 18+

Kaz likes to watch you play with yourself.

SUPERNATURAL

Team Free Will x Reader

One-Shots (600 words plus)

Monthly Pity Party - (AFAB!GN!Reader)

Your cramps are kicking your ass this month, though you do wish the boys would quit throwing pity parties for you.

Castiel x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Sudden Appearances Make For Good Times - GN!Reader 18+

Castiel learns his best moves from the pizza man.

Casifer x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

The Odd Cuddle - (GN!Reader)

Flirty Casifer cuddles. That's it, that's the fic.

Dean Winchester x Sam Winchester x Reader (no Wincest)

One-Shots (600 words plus)

Anything You Need - (GN!Reader)

The boys discover you've been having some... unpleasant thoughts.

Dean Winchester x Reader

One-Shots (600 words plus)

Cute As A Button (AFAB!GN!Reader) 18+

smut prompt based on the word "button."

A Very Bisexual Revelation (Cis!Masc!Reader) 18+

Dean Winchester's never had trouble with the ladies, but this is brand new territory for him.

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Hurricane Dean - (Dean Winchester x GN!Reader)

All Dean wants is a vacation. If only the MOTW would allow such a thing.

Sam Winchester x Reader

One-Shots (600 words plus)

Bored and in Need of Entertainment - (GN!Reader)

You're bored and it's Sam's turn to entertain you.

Polish and Shine - (GN!Reader)

Sam chews on his nails a lot. Too much. You come up with a plan to break the habit.

WALKING DEAD (THE)

Negan Smith x Reader

Drabbles (600 words or less)

Not Part of the Plan - (Negan Smith x GN!Reader)

Negan discovers that you've been sent to spy on the Sanctuary

A Good Show - (Negan Smith x (cis)Masc!Reader) 18+

Negan likes a good show. He also likes seeing you handle Lucille. Match made in heaven.

[mygwenchan]

Argh, Jason was really rough with Porsche... Poor guy 😥

But! We also get some new information about Porche: His father used to be Jason's driver while his mom was the maid! And they are both dead due to a car crash. Yeah, I can see how it was super easy for Jason to adopt Porche. He probably looked like a good Samaritan to everyone, taking in the orphaned kid of his dead servants. Little did people know what Jason's true intentions were...

Well, at least this situation leads to Porche doing some much needed self-reflection. I hope he'll treat Jump better from now on

WE'VE GOT A LOVE CONFESSION!!!

Ah, but Jump isn't so sure about his own feelings. That's valid. Porche has behaved in a pretty shitty way, that might not be easy to forgive. On the other hand though, Jump still seems to be kind of fond of him?

And Jump finally gets his kiss, not from Tutor though, but from Porche :)

And the happy moment is already over, because Jump was an ass and recorded the whole thing for Tutor. Ah man..

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

The Sabbath

History of the Sabbath

We read in Genesis about the Creation (a whole post in and of itself). After 6 days of separations, the Creation was still incomplete, so "Elohim blessed the Seventh Day, and Sanctified it." This is the Sabbath day, and he gave it to Adam & Eve when he placed them in Eden

The Sabbath is absent from the record until Moses. However, we can assume it was practiced, but stopped at some point (mayhaps when the Israelites were enslaved). But Moses gives the Sabbath as the 4th of the 10 Commandments (or 3rd, if you're Samaritan, Catholic, Lutheran, or Strangite), and keeping it became a sign of the Covenant between God & Israel

The Savior is accused of breaking the Sabbath multiple times. One time, he heals a man in the Pool of Bethesda just before the conclusion of the Sabbath. He points out how it is permissible to do good on the Sabbath in the Mishnah (at this point, a strictly oral tradition). He is then again accused, when he allows his Apostles to pick wheat to snack on, this time pointing out how the Sabbath is supposed to be a delight, and made specifically for mankind

The true debates about the Sabbath come from the Jewish-Christian split however. Although there are some branches that keep a Saturday Sabbath, Sunday has been made into the Sabbath, in an attempt to separate themselves from Judaism (an example is when Ignatius said Christians shouldn't celebrate, because it's idleness, in a letter that feels kinda antisemitic). Eventually, Constantine cemented the Sunday Sabbath. It became the common belief that the Sabbath was done away with, and we now celebrate the Lord's Day

(On the off-hand, It is interesting to note that the Eastern Orthodox keep a Saturday Sabbath, and keep Sunday as the Lord's Day. But, since the Sunday was the day of Resurrection, it holds a greater importance than the Sabbath in EO Theology)

Restoration

Joseph Smith received almost nothing about the Sabbath. In D&C 58:9-19, the Lord says that on the Lord's Day (Sunday), we are to Confess our Sins, Worship God, and receive the Eucharist (the Sacrament). It also says to prepare our food with "singleness of heart" that our fasting may be perfect & our joy full, and that everything that comes from the Earth in the season thereof is meant to bring delight to man (specifically referencing food, but it can also apply to other things, like flowers). Other documents tell us he associated Sunday with the Sabbath, a trend which continues to this day (following the trend of Sunday superseding the Sabbath). However, in other lands (such as Israel), the day is different. This shows that the day of the Sabbath doesn't matter, but rather that we get the time to worship

It is worth a brief mention though that James Strang made Saturday the Sabbath in his branch. All the other branches keep a Sunday Sabbath

Sabbath Activities

What can we do on the Sabbath. Well, that's up to you

If we read D&C 58 as discussing the Sabbath, then we should prepare food with "singleness of heart," and that it is to be a day of fasting (although, given the fact food is being prepared at all shows this is not a traditional fast. Perhaps it is a fast from meat, as common during Lent. Perhaps something entirely different)

Prophets also tell people off for going hiking or boating on the Sabbath, and some parents don't allow their kids to play with other kids, or swim, or do anything like that. This is, in my opinion, not correct. The Sabbath is a Joy, a Delight. We should try to take the Sacrament whenever possible, but I see no issue in being in nature, or engaging in wholesome recreation, as long as we don't forget the Lord

In essence, the Sabbath is a time to act like we are already Exalted. We should prepare by getting our labors done before (if possible), so we are not burdened. But if you find joy in an activity, and feel close to the Lord doing it, then so be it

So, what do I think:

I like the idea of a Saturday Sabbath, and keeping the Lord's Day, like the Eastern Orthodox (I really like the EO Church, if you couldn't tell)

From the beginning, the Sabbath is a day of rest, a day of delight. But, if you have a calling, your Sundays are anything but restful. Even though we are supposed to have time for our families on Sunday, meetings can keep us from that. Often, we leave Church exhausted & stressed, not rested & joyful

Is this practical, not really, especially in a society where we are expected to be constantly on the go, and where it's almost impossible to find a job with Weekends off (or, you know, you have kids). But it's an ideal

[lyra-heartstring]

TW: Mentions of Sh, suicide, Od, racism ( self directed/internalized )

Before i start, the racism part of this is genuinely only to myself. I dont care what race other people are, i just hate mine.

Letter for the boy in the mirror that i wish to kill.

Spending the past 16 years of my life being ugly has been my enternal hell. I have to live everyday knowing im conventionally unattractive and no matter the clothes i wear and the way i style myself ill always be ugly. I have wonderful outfits that i think are really fucking cool or just nice and casual, but the only issue is my face and my skin. I dont want to deal with this shit, i hate my skin tone and i hate everyone trying to tell me to be proud of it. " Black is beautiful "Go fuck yourself, im not and for some reason everyone feels the need to let me know like i havent had to live with this body that i wish wasn't nine. "You're ugly" " who would like you" " you can atleast try to be funny " all of you can die, im tired of you and your fake sympathetic bullshit or the rejections in which i get infantalized bc people dont wwnt to be mean, just for me to find out wbt what they were thinking later. I get it im ugly and i tucking hate my race every issue i have stems in some way shape or form from those 2 factors (gender is another but that's a seperate rant on its own ) and don't give me that bullshit " its just your style " " dress nicely " fashion is a looks thing irregardless of how u want to spin it. Outfits look good because of how the person looks and for some fucking reason nothing works with me. My parents are trying to style me as some proper black christiwn boy, thats litterally the entire opposite of what i want to be. i have to deal with everyone tell me shit like " your outfit looks good", hoping one day they talk about me. " your shirt is nice " what about me?, " your outfit is cute ", what about me?. Ive spent years living as the billshit excuse of a human being with people shoving it down throat that im ugly, but THE SECOND I TRY TO KILL MY SELF OR I CUT MYSELF EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY THE GOOD SAMARITAN READY TO SAVE ME FROM MY TROUBLES. " Im jealous of you ", " i wish i looked like you ", " you arent ugly " I swear to every single celestial being i will rip off the head of the next person who tries to spoon feed me this bullshit. Im the person who is better off taking the photos, the one in the back of the pictures being blocked by people and thanks to my fucking skin tone i looked like some fucked up horror monster in polaroids. Now that its been 16 years of not a single person being there for me, suddenly everyone is some empath and knows how i feel. " i relate " " i understand how you " NO YOU FUCKING DONT, YOU POST AESTHETIC PHOTOS OF YOURSELF WEEKLY, HAVE PEOPLE HITTING ON YOU, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BC U ARE ATTRACTIVE ANYWAYS SO ANYTHING U WEAR IS A " fit ". GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, TRY BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONR IS SUPRISED MANAGES TO DATE SOMEONE, ITS NOT THE SURPRISED OF " we didnt know " ITS THE BULLSHIT SURPRISE WHETE THEY ACY LIKE YOUR PARTNER IS BLIND OR YOU ARR PAYING THE PERSON TO DATE YOU. ITS THAT BULLSHIT SURPRISE YHAT SOMEONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH LIKES YOU. IF YOU EVEN GO THROUGH A PORTION OF THAT THEN MAYBE SAY U UNDERSTAND ME, DONT TRY TO RELATE TO MY STORY WHEN YOUR BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING HIT ON. MY BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING CALLED CREEPY BC I SAID I LIKE SOMEONE, OR A WEIRDO BC I CONFESS TO SOMEONE " i like you " BC ITS CRAZY THAT MY ABORTED FETUS LOOK-A-LIKE SELF HAS YHE AUDACITY TO DEVELOP FEELINGS WHILR LOOKING THE WAY I DO. EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE DO THE SAME SHIT AND ITS A SILLY FUN HIGHSCHOOL EXPERIENCE, ITS FUNNY, AKWARD, ROMANTIC. What i would give to be a different person, different hair, different face, different race, different voice, the amout i would throw away just for that is unmeasureable. To the higher beings i hate you for what you have

done to me, people worship you for what you have fone for them, and im suppossed to join along and be thankful of the gift of life when my life has been nothing but a curse. I hate you for how i look, i hate that everyday i have to find new methods to not think or look into mirrors bc my immediate reaction to commit suicide. Im 16 with a violent hatred towards my face, a waste of space incomplete cell called my body, the urge/desire to kill myself the second i think abt how i look, pure hatred and negativity. I spend all my time cutting because the moment the blade leaves my skin i remember im ugly. The many nights i stare into the mirror with the pills in my hand as i cry for being dealt this shit of a hand from life. I hope for happiness one day but ik that i will never find it nor will i let go of this anger. To the few people reading this

[angeltreasure]

In what way do Guardian angels live among us and what do they do? (I mean I know they’re guardian angels so clue is in the name!) but I mean yeah I’ve never actually thought about this much before so I’m hoping you could educate me a little!!! 🙏🙏💕

Before the concept of time began, all of the angels were created at one moment. God gave them a glimpse of the beatific vision of Heaven, what their exact role would be, and then the vision of what would happen if they said no.

God’s most beautiful and smartest angel called Lucifer (who was likely in the Cherubim choir) became very angry when seeing the beatific vision: that God the Father out of great love would send His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to be fully man AND fully God (John 3:16)… Lucifer was even more furious actually of Jesus’s mother, Mary, who is just human, would be SO full of grace from God that she would be conceived and born without ever having original sin. Her womb had to be pure for the Son of God. The graces from God were so great that all the angels combined and all the saints combined would not much up to even as much as a sigh, in her holiness. Although not God, Mary would be queen of the angels. Lucifer did not like the fact that his own queen would be a woman, a woman that had not only one chance to offer herself as sacrifice but over and over and over, compared to himself. Lucifer wanted all the purity and power to himself that Mary had, he wanted to even take the place of God.

St. Michael the archangel, from the choir of Archangels (the second lowest angel choir) was given the gift from God to cast Satan and other bad angels out of Heaven. St. Michael rose up against Lucifer and said “Who is like God?!”, casting Lucifer and the bad angels out of Heaven, forever, down to earth and eventually hell. Lucifer is then known as Satan. 1/3 of angels fell from the sky that day.

Our guardian angels are in the 9th choir of angels, this choir is called Angels, the lowest choir. The choir called Angels are angels who are ones most around humans. The exact number is unknown. Your own guardian angel said yes to the beatific vision. When your guardian angel said yes, God told them their role would be your guardian, told them who you are, told them to wait until the exact moment you were born to go by your side, and that their one goal is to get you to Heaven.

Once you were born, your guardian angel never left you for a second. He guards your soul. Your guardian angel is purely spirit, he has no body. To most humans, he remains unseen. He protects you from spiritual attacks that you can’t see from the enemy. Your guardian angel can’t take over your free will but, since his one job is to get you to Heaven, he will prompt your mind with inspiration to think and do good and holy things: be a Good Samaritan, pray, go to Mass, go to Confession, find your true vocation, to to Eucharistic Adoration, inspire you to read spiritual books and watch videos of sermons, to have you act out works of mercy, to have you follow the Ten Commandments, to be kind to others, to have pure joy, etc. He waits for you to ask him for help. You can ask him to help you in just about anything. Never leaving your side, he waits for you to speak to him as a friend, for friendship. Since time together in Heaven is a long time, it’s best we get to know our guardian angel. You cannot name your guardian angel because naming him means you have ownership over him, plus God already have him a name which is to be respected. You may call him my guardian angel, or simply, my angel. Start a relationship with your guardian angel today!

I highly recommend you read the book called Send Me Your Guardian Angel.

I also highly recommend Angels and the Supernatural.

[momentsbeforemass]

I know

(By request, my homily from Sunday)

“And the second is like unto it: you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” That’s how Sunday’s Gospel ends.

If an honest, unbiased observer followed us around, it wouldn’t take them long to figure out that you and I? We don’t do a very good job with this one.

Why do I say that? There are a lot of reasons. Here are the two big ones.

First, who is my neighbor? Who is your neighbor? You and I have two answers to this one. There’s the Jesus answer, the one we know from the Parable of the Good Samaritan. That’s the one we want people to think we use.

And then there’s the answer that we really use. It’s a little different from the Jesus answer. The way we live our lives gives that one away.

Because there are people that you and I clearly don’t see as our neighbors. We may never have given the question a moment’s thought outside of church. But whether you and I are aware that we’re doing it or not, there are people that you and I ignore. There are people that you and I treat like things. 

I’m going to tell you something you already know – that doesn’t track with the Jesus answer. But that’s the answer you and I really use.

Why do we do that? The answer to that is the other big reason.

Because we can’t give what we don’t have. And most of the time, you and I don’t have the love that it takes to live the Jesus answer.

You know why, right?

Because we’re not doing the first one. You and I don’t do a very good job of loving the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind.

How do we do that?

It all comes down to the difference between “I think” and “I know.”

When Cyndi and I were dating, we had dinner one Sunday with my friend, Charlotte. Charlotte was like a grandmother to me. Cyndi made a great impression – no surprise there.

Afterwards, Charlotte told me, “I think she loves you.” Charlotte was so excited to tell me that.

But for me? The “I think” part got me worried. “I think?” Maybe that means she loves me, but maybe it doesn't. Do I need to do something more? Try to impress her? Be good enough? With “I think,” everything was up in the air.

I’m happy to say that eventually I learned that it wasn’t really “I think,” it was “I know.”

When you go from “I think” to “I know,” you can relax. You don’t have to try to impress or worry about whether you’re good enough. You’re at peace, you’re secure.

I bring this up, because a lot of us have an “I think He loves me” perspective on God.

Wondering if we’ve done what we’re supposed to do, if we’re good enough. Maybe we don’t put the idea into words, but the way it feels inside us? It’s like we’re saying, “I went to Mass during the week, I went to confession, I think God loves me.” “I prayed the Rosary, I visited a friend in the hospital, I wasn’t a jerk to my co-worker, I’ve earned God’s love.”

One of the big problems with this perspective on God? When our performance isn’t perfect, when we don’t check all the boxes, we think that God will stop loving us. Why do we do that?

Because we all know people who work that way, whose love is conditional like that. If we stop checking all their boxes, they won’t love us.

But that’s not God. That’s not who God is.

When our performance isn’t perfect, when we don’t check all the boxes, God doesn’t change His mind.

You can run away from God when you screw things up – again. God will just come running towards you. With open arms.

There is nothing that you can do to make God love you any less.

But – sometimes it’s like we’re trying to clean ourselves up, to get things under control, to be good enough, trying to make ourselves loveable. Then we’ll believe that God loves us.

Quit trying to earn what you already have.

God loves you right now, right in the middle of your mess. And God loves you too much to leave you there.

Get rid of that “I think” perspective, starting living in “I know.” Live in the peace, live in the security of the truth – “I know that God loves me.”

It’s a gift. There is nothing you can do to earn it. Take the gift.

When you do, when you live in the truth of “I know that God loves me,” it will change you.

The more time you spend in the unconditional love of God? Bit by bit, piece by piece, you will fill up with that love.

And you will become more and more like the One who loves you.

Until there’s no room in you for anything else.

Until you start reflecting that love back to God.

And “loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” is just like breathing out and breathing in.

Until that love overflows towards your neighbor.

And “loving your neighbor as yourself” is just how you live.

Today, get rid of that “I think” perspective about God, starting living in “I know.”

May God give you the grace to live in the peace, to live in the security of the truth. To say in your heart – “I know that God loves me.”

Sunday’s Readings

[greensparty]

Preview: 2023 IFFBoston

To paraphrase Nirvana: “Spring is here again...IFFBoston time”!  It is now my favorite time of year in Boston! My favorite film festival in Boston, in Massachusetts and possibly the world is Independent Film Festival Boston (read my coverage here).  I have a special place for this festival: in 2014 my documentary Life on the V: The Story of V66 had its World Premiere at the festival, and in 2015 I was on the Documentary Jury. Due to the pandemic, the scheduled 2020 festival was canceled and 2021 was virtual, so last year felt good to be back in-person. The 2023 film festival is at Somerville Theatre (Somerville), Brattle Theatre (Cambridge), and Coolidge Corner Theatre (Brookline) from Wed. April 26 to Wed. May 3, 2023!

2023 IFFBoston logo

Here are just some of the Official Selections that are on my radar:

Wed. 4/26/23: 

Opening Night Film is the documentary Love to Love You, Donna Summer. So fitting that the pop icon Donna Summer was from Boston and now she is getting the documentary treatment co-directed by Roger Ross Williams and her daughter Brooklyn Sudano and it is opening IFFBoston!

Thurs. 4/27/23:

Legendary writer/director Paul Schrader has been on a roll in recent years with First Reformed and the highly underrated The Card Counter (my #5 Movie of 2021). Now he’s back with Master Gardener with Joel Edgarton. In the modern comedy Free Time, a New Yorker decides to leave his job to re-assess his life, only to want his old job back.

Fri. 4/28/23:

Penny Lane has made some great docs in the past: Nuts! was one of my 10 Best Documentaries of 2016, Hail Satan! was one of the highlights of the 2019 Boston Underground Film Festival, and Listening to Kenny G. was really good too! Now she has turned the camera onto herself as she donates a kidney in Confessions of a Good Samaritan. Oscar-winning documentarian Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth) has made a doc about one of the most well-liked actors of the last 40 years, Michael J. Fox. I’ve been a fan since Family Ties and Back to the Future and I’ve been hearing nothing but great things about Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie since it’s Sundance premiere. A Brooklyn brownstone in 1945 is the setting for a seance in Brooklyn 45.

Sat. 4/29/23:

The Student Shorts Showcase is on Sat. afternoon and it’s free admission! My buddy James Rutenbeck has his short Nixon’s Reversal in the Shorts Gloucester Documentary program. 

When I was making my V66 documentary a few years back, I interviewed members of Boston garage rockers The Dogmatics because they were popular on the 80s music video TV channel V66. Skip ahead to 2019, I had heard about a documentary being made about The Dogmatics, so I reached out to director Rudy Childs and producer Jada Maxwell. We met up, talked shop and I stayed in touch with them about the project over the years. A few months ago I was lucky enough to see an early screener of The Dogmatics: A Dogumentary and I am proud to be a Consulting Producer. It’s really great to see this band get the music doc treatment and that there is a segment in the doc about their popularity on V66! I’m like a proud parent!

Sun. 4/29/23:

Join or Die is a doc about Robert Putnam. Aurora’s Sunrise is a doc about an Armenian Genocide survivor, told through animation. One of my favorite documentarians Steve James (Hoop Dreams is one of the greatest docs ever) returns with A Compassionate Spy about controversial Manhattan Project physicist Ted Hall. Pod Generation stars Chiwetel Ejiofor and Emilia Clarke in a not-too-distant future as they explore a new technology for fertility. Never Be a Punching Bag for Nobody is a doc directed by and about Naomi Yang who was in Galaxy 500 and is now learning to box. Speaking of Boston music, Beautiful Was the Fight is about several Boston female musicians and their struggles.

Mon. 5/1/23:

Mary Tyler Moore was a true entertainment legend, especially Mary Tyler Moore Show (re-watch that Chuckles funeral episode if you don’t believe me). Now she’s getting the doc treatment with Being Mary Tyler Moore.

Tues. 5/2/23:

The doc Time Bomb Y2K looks back at the Y2K anxiety that was building closer to the Jan. 1, 2000.

Wed. May 3:

The Closing Night Film is the romance Past Lives.

I’m excited about this year’s lineup. For info and tickets go to: https://iffboston.org/

[anomaly-sanctum]

[A video was attached to the post, released back in 2021. Press play?]

[Video ID - a news reporter covering a story. There was a picture of Colress's Mugshot in the top right part of the screen.

"Exactly one year ago today, Unova suffered from a catastrophic event that locals have come to known as the Distorted Freeze," said the anchorwoman, "A good half of the region had been frozen over by Former Team Plasma leader Ghetsis, with control over the legendary pokemon Kyurem, who is believed to be a fragment of the Legendary Dragon told in Unova's most famous myth."

"Ghetsis supposedly planned to do much more had it not been for former Team Plasma member Natural Harmonica Gropius, who had rebelled from the cult two years prior, and an anonymous samaritan."

"It was eight months ago that another former high-ranking member of Team Plasma came to officials to confess his crimes and knowing involvement in the Distorted Freeze. Dr. Colress [REDACTED] admitted to playing an essential role in helping Ghetsis get control of the Pokémon. Last week, we interviewed Colress about his actions and reason for turning himself in."

The footage cut to Colress, sitting in an empty room with the reporter, notably wearing an orange jumpsuit. He seemed to be notably lacking the spark in his eyes that most would recognize him for. His hair was messier than usual, and he had bags under his eyes. If anything, he looked a bit pathetic.

"I really have no excuse for it," said Colress, "It wasn't as if I didn't know what Ghetsis had been planning."

"I had a deal with him, you see," he continued, "Should I help him with his plans, he would provide the resources I needed to perform my research."

"Did you lose anything in the disaster that Team Plasma caused?" Asked the reporter.

"Whether I did or not, does it truly matter?" Colress asked, "What I had done was unforgivable, either way."

"I'm just trying to get an understanding of the motive you had for admitting to this," the reporter explained.

Colress turned his head away from the camera, visibly, yet subtlely, tensing up. "... I did lose something, yes," he admitted, a very, very slight sense of shakiness to his voice. "Someone."

The footage cut back to the news reporter back at the station.

"Upon being pressed for further information, Colress refused to elaborate, the reason being that he had stated earlier that he had no excuse and therefore had intention to garner sympathy."

The footage cut back to the interview with Colress.

"I've accepted the consequences the judge saw fit," said Colresss, "and I've put a great deal of my fundings into organizations dedicated to clean the damages. You know how they say 'eat the rich'? It's safe to say that they've eaten me alive." He gave an empty chuckle to the last statement.

"Why not pay to have your sentence shortened, or at least for a good lawyer to defend your case?" Asked the reporter. "Certainly you must've had enough money for that.

Colress shrugged. "Why pay my way out of a punishment I deserved?" He asked, "The justice system may be flawed for allowing fines to be paid for such crimes, but it would do no good for me to take advantage of it."

The footage once again showed to reporter at the news station reporting the story.

"Colress stated that he doesn't expect forgiveness from the people of Unova, but had issued a public apology nonetheless," said the reporter. "Most recently, the Aether Foundation had reached out to ask that Colress served his time doing community service at their conservation center in Alola known as Aether Paradise, stating that his scientific genius could be put to good use in their conservation efforts."

VIDEO END ]

[stuckybingo]

Stucky Bingo Round-Up #10 (December 10th - 23rd)

If you would like a shiny Bingo Card of your own, you can fill out this form! Don’t forget to fill out the submission form to be a part of the round-ups and to get your bingo badges!

Time spent with you is never wasted by late-to-the-party-81 Square filled: N4 - Domesticity Ao3 rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Supersoldier Husbands, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers Summary: A little break away, just the two of them. Whatever shall Steve and Bucky do when they get snowed in? Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)

Context by ABrighterDarkness Square filled: G5 - Oblivious to Lovers Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply, Non-Consensual Outing Major tags: Siblings, Arguments, Mediation, Pining Summary: “Would it help if I gave you the context?” “I guess it would depend on the context,” she sighed. Steve knew that tone. This was where she’d been so sure that he’d already picked a side. He supposed, in a way, he already had, but he didn’t have the same hangup about explaining his reasoning that Bucky sometimes seemed to have. Format: Medium oneshot (1000 - 5000 words)

Jingle all the way by Kalee60 Square filled: N1 - Action Figure Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: shrunkyclunks, identity porn, fluff, first kiss, disaster Bucky Summary: Christmas Eve, Bucky realised, was not the time to try and buy the most sought after action figure in New York City. But he’d promised his niece, and there was no way he’d let her down - he was going to deliver. Except every single store he visited, had sold out. Then he’s injured in an accident, and a good samaritan, Steve, comes to his aid. But the last thing he expects is to spend the evening with him on a futile search for a toy. Bucky wasn’t complaining though, as Steve was the kindest, hottest and most magnetizing man on the planet, and Bucky hadn’t had so much fun in years. As time runs out for both the toy and their adventure, Bucky knows exactly what he wants for Christmas. But the question was - does the mysterious Steve want the same? Format: Long oneshot (over 5000 words)

All In, Chapter 2: Vulnerability by otpcutie Square filled: G3 - hurt/comfort Ao3 rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: President Steve, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, brat Bucky, angst, D/s, Daddy kink, age difference Summary: Bucky opens Steve’s eyes and confessions are made on both parts. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

Steve Rogers, PA by sparkagrace Square filled: I5 - car trouble Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: winter soldier Bucky Barnes, personal assistant Steve Rogers, hunkyclinks, flashback, fluff Summary: 3:42 in the morning and Steve is B-O-R-E-D. He doesn’t even know why he’s so restless on this particular evening when Sunday nights at the gas station are usually the easiest as they’re so uneventful. He typically uses this time to do thesis research or read, but his brain can’t focus on anything and barely any customers have come by tonight. Normally, he can count on someone lonely enough to shoot the breeze with for five or ten minutes to break up his shift. He needs some excitement. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

Factory Regress by SucculentHyena Square filled: I3 - De-aging Ao3 rating: Teen Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Age Regression, Amnesia, Possession, Magic, Space Adventure Summary: A crashed ship, a mysterious device, and some unfortunate circumstances. Format: Part of a multichapter fic

The Great Barnes-Rogers Christmas Tree Heist of 1938 by SquadOfCats Square filled: Adopted square (December) - Midnight Mass Ao3 rating: Explicit Warnings: No archive warnings apply Major tags: Christmas, Fluff, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Getting Together, First Time Summary: Bucky still shook his head and gave a half-hearted protest. “Robin Hood stole from the rich to give to the poor, though. He didn't steal and keep it for himself.” “Right, he stole from the rich and gave to the--Buck. Do you not think we're–?” Steve blinked, and then he stared hard at Bucky. “Pal, I've got some bad news for you about the state of our finances.” In which Steve and Bucky attempt to get a Christmas tree and everything goes wrong, but then everything goes right. Format: Long oneshot (over 5000 words)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for ruining the remainder of a dying woman's life?

To be entirely honest... I do believe that I am "the ass hole" here. This is more of a confession or act of catharsis on my part. I just think... it needs to be said, somewhere.

So I (137, male, vampire; legally 42, male, human.) am — or rather, was — married to a woman of particularly high status (48, female, human). While I don't wish to be excessively rude to someone who I have already wronged, I feel it necessary to mention that this ex-wife, whose name I shall abbreviate as "B", is not very intelligent. To put it lightly.

This is relevant because I was never actually "in love" with her. I have never been "in love" in my entire lifetime. I specifically picked her out as a target, because I have wanted for a very very long time the kind of social status that she possesses. You see, she has a rare medical condition, barely detectable unless you really know what you're looking for — since she will likely die from this condition soon and I expect that it will make the news, I will avoid hinting at the specifics, but essentially, my unique position as a vampire and low ranking witch allowed me to detect this condition.

The thing is, the condition is treatable. I suppose a Good Samaritan may have approached her and informed her, and given her a pitiable few decades more to live. But instead, I saw an opportunity— I knew that she would die from this condition, natural causes so to speak, in just a decade or so from when I met her— and with as unpleasant a personality as she had, combined with her severe lack of wit, I was easily able to convince her that I, a "humble policeman," was deeply in love with her and wished to marry her. We were wed within a few months, and she was entirely fooled by my honestly low-effort ruse. This was all about eight years ago-- I was around 130, and she had just turned 40 (I proposed to her on her birthday).

...The past eight years have been hell. For both of us, I presume.

As I mentioned, she is not intelligent in the least, and her personality is absolutely vile. I had thought it would not be a problem for me, since it is only a decade that I would have to bear with it, and I am quite busy anyway as the head of a criminal organization (it's complicated). She, of course, doesn't know about this, or even that I'm not human. I have had to make severe compromises to placate her, since after a few months of marriage she picked up on the fact that I do not like her very much, and started accusing me of cheating on her, even going so far as to follow me when I leave in the middle of the night (to attend to my criminal duties). It got to the point where I had to appoint a temporary new head for my organization, and "step down" so to speak, lest she uncover the location and secrets I am keeping there.

...I described some of the things she's said and asked of me, one time, to a trusted colleague of mine. They were deeply offended and told me to divorce or kill her immediately, though I suspect they may have meant it hyperbolically (I cannot be certain, as I have a bit of a reputation for killing people, and they are aware of this). They said that "B" sounded "like a bitch" and "sexually coercive". I do not feel that it would be appropriate to go into detail here, but I will say that some of these experiences were indeed deeply uncomfortable.

However, whether she is coercive or not, it was my own choice to placate her where I could. Moreover, this feels really insignificant in the grand scheme of things, considering that I have been planning to take advantage of her premature death to inherit her title from the very start. All in all, I feel that I have suffered justly for my time with her, but it is true that I have ruined her chances of finding real love in the year or so that she has left. Though I am doubtful that anyone would have been able to put up with her revolting personality in this past decade, had I not duped her.

But, as the conscious instigator of this relationship, I do feel that I should perhaps hold the burden of responsibility for both of our suffering. I do not think I would make this choice a second time.

TLDR; am I in the wrong for preying on and pretending to love a dying woman who would not likely have found love even if I had left her be? Especially considering that this choice resulted in a horrendous relationship that neither of us left for almost the rest of her remaining lifespan. I'm pretty sure that if I had done nothing she still would have died resentful and alone, but at least neither of us would have experienced this.

[dolliedyhard]

Facts About Dollie Dyhard

Last Updated: October 27th 2024

꒰🎀꒱ This post contains all the general knowledge about Dollie! This post will be updated when needed.୨୧

꒰🚫꒱ I do NOT approve of making “Your own version” of Dollie or ANY of my OC’s. They are NOT valid! Make your OWN OC instead of STEALING MINE!!! You will be blocked if you do that.

*** = Edited paragraph

-NEW- = Newly added paragraph

꒰⚠️꒱ TW: Light mentions of ED & SA

*ೃ༄‧˚ Apperance

╰┉┈ Dollie Winehouse is 16 y/o South African American and stands at 5’4 and is 84lbs/38kg. Her amber eyes are round sorta like doe eyes paired with full lashes. Her body type is petite.

╰┉┈ Dollie’s natural hair is jet black 3c ending near her mid back. Her hair isn’t straight and blonde by nature like you are used to seeing, it’s actually a wig!

╰┉┈ Dollie has joints just like a ball-jointed doll, it’s makes her stronger and it’s how she gets her abilities. Her ball-joints are located at her neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles.

╰┉┈ When it comes to physical attractiveness Dollie is fairly pretty, like a 7.5/10.

╰┉┈ Dollie has a small beauty mark under her right eye.

*ೃ༄‧˚ Physical & Mental State + Morals & Trauma

Physical Health

╰┉┈ Dollie gets cold very easily. 60F is considered freezing to her.

-NEW-

╰┉┈ Dollie only eats when she goes on a mission so she can have strength. When she’s off duty she starves herself resulting in feeling weak often. This is caused by her anorexica.

Mental Health

╰┉┈ Dollie has problems setting boundaries with people when their relationship becomes abusive or inappropriate. Since the person at hand is showing signs of possible pushback and defiance Dollie is afraid she will get hurt or offend the person, Like when she was groomed for the first time or when she met Offenderman.

╰┉┈ Dollie is straight. Uhhh ya pretty straight forward… SHE ONLY LIKES BOIZZZ

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

╰┉┈ Dollie is an attention seeker and constantly craves love and attention. Before she met the crp the only person who loved her was her mother. She feels unlovable because the only person to ever show her compassion is the woman who birthed her, which is innate by nature. She clings on to people easily like Jeff, Nina and Offenderman because they are the very few people to show kindness towards her.

-NEW-

╰┉┈ Dollie has been suffering from anorexia since she was 14. Because of that she is extremely contortive of what she eats. An addition to that she has a fear of being fat (ik, pretty silly fear right? >_>) and is very fatphobic.

-NEW-

╰┉┈ Dollie is naive when it come to love and romance. She has never had a crush or boyfriend or even held hands or kissed another guy before. She loves Jeff dearly and would die to be his girlfriend but she has no clue how to confess to him. She’s afraid if he rejects her it will completely end their friendship because it would be super awkward knowing one person has a crush on another but the other person doesn’t feel the same.

Morality

╰┉┈ [Percentage for how bad she feels about committing them. The higher the percentage the less she cares.]

Concerning crimes the ones she commits most often are:

Murder (82%)

Homicide (100%)

Torture (65%)

Arson & Disturbing the peace (100%)

Shoplifting (100%)

(THIS IS NOT A FLEX- just showing u Dollie ain’t making it to heaven)

╰┉┈ Dollies catchphrase before killing her victims is “Death has called your name today”. The backstory behind this phrase is that Dollie believes a lot in fate of the universe, like a lot of psychopaths do. Because of this her moral reasoning for killing people is because it is their time to die. Whether they are a inhuman person so deserves nothing but the pits of hell or a good samaritan who has done the best I their life, if it is their time, then it is their time.

╰┉┈ Another one of Dollies catchphrases is “Beauty is within the ghastly”. The meaning of this phrase is they’re is beauty in everything, though sounding cliche it is true. Even within the odd, the, misunderstood, the macabre, and the ghastly. She can see the glimmers of the fine details in people that come together to make a piece of art that can be understood by only the creative.

For example; Jeff is to most normal people a monster. Hideous, scary, psychotic, any other synonym you can think of. His bloody glasgow smile, pale skin, and messy long jet black hair, and creepy demeanor would make anyone think he’s a batshit crazy. But Dollie can see past that and accept him as well as see his unique inner beauty, like all the rest of the crp. I mean, who would want to live in a house were you think everyone is UGLY?!?!?!?!? XD

╰┉┈ Dollie kills a variety types of people. She is not a vigilante and she does kill innocent people.

Trauma

╰┉┈ Before becoming a Slender proxy Dollie had become a victim of Offenderman. She was all alone in the cold Connecticut forest at dawn with not a soul to help her. Frightened, freezing, and desperate for help Dollie was susceptible to Offender’s seduction. Offender took advantage of her and gifted her a dainty pink rose and the promise of helping her out to gain her trust. Dollie of course has no memory of the rape actually happening but she eventually came to the conclusion of what happened and has been coping with it ever since.

╰┉┈ Dollie has been groomed by two people, both being older men. The first was before being involved with the crp & the second was offenderman.

ೃ༄‧˚ Abilities

╰┉┈ Dollie is mainly a stealth killer. Lurking in dark & unsuspecting places to catch her victims off guard. Therefore her skill in stealth is very high. Hiding in plain sight, being quiet, moving quiet, playing dead, is her specialty.

╰┉┈ For her weapon of choice, Dollie uses a victorian styled scissor and victorian axe when fighting. She also carries needles, some are poisonous and some are for healing purposes.

╰┉┈ Dollies creepy factor is uncanny valley. She’s a ball-jointed doll that sits completely still, lifeless in dark and eerie places not making a sound. Don’t imagine an image of that… I’m not responsible for YOUR NIGHTMARES!!!!

╰┉┈ Dollie stalks a lot if not most of her victims. You have about 1-4 days before your dead meat. Even if she fails to kill you Dollie holds grudges for looooooong times and the moment she ever sees you again it’s over.

╰┉┈ What does Dollie do to her victims? She uses their bodies for taxidermy and dresses them up like dolls. It’s a hobby of hers and the reason she kills in the first place.

╰┉┈ Dollies favorite part of the human body are the eyes. She loves their capability to express surreal emotions, The intricate details in the irsis, the way the pupils dilate, everything.

* ೃ༄‧˚ Relationships

Family

╰┉┈ Dollie’s father is a narcissist and abusive towards her mother, herself and her.

╰┉┈ Dollie’s mother is the only family member she loves and is close too. Her mother also reciprocates the feeling of love and care to her.

╰┉┈ Dollie loathes her brother Brandon. He is the only person Dollie actively causes prolonged torture and torment to instead of just killing him upfront. She has never hated someone so strongly other than him. One day I will explain the reason why she feels this way.

Friends

╰┉┈ Jeff and Nina are her best friends and hang out often together. They are very important to her.

╰┉┈ Dollie admires Jane & Liu as well as most of the older members in the mansion, she thinks they are super cool.

-NEW-

Jeff The Killer

╰┉┈ Jeff was the first person she ever met involved with slenderman. Ever since then they have grown with together and are now extremely close. They aren’t dating yet but they do have romantic feelings for each other. They have the most fun being on missions and traveling together.

-NEW-

Nina The Killer

╰┉┈ Dollie and Nina are the bestest of friends! Nina is the 2nd closest person to Dollie.

Offenderman

╰┉┈ Despite what Offender did to Dollie she is still quite fond of him. Since she has problems setting boundaries with people she idealizes him in her head and tries to rationalize their relationship. She’s like, “At least he didn’t leave me in the forest, he took me somewhere safe…” “I deserved it. Why am I fighting him when I probably liked it anyways?”. She likes the attention he gives her and the idea he might genuinely care about her.

Ben Drowned

╰┉┈ Dollie doesn’t like Ben. She finds the pranks and jokes he pulls to be annoying and he reminds her of her brother, whom she hates deeply.

Jane The Killer

╰┉┈ Jane is a mentor figure to Dollie. Jane tries to help her whenever or however she can.

* ೃ༄‧˚ Personal Interests

Fashion

╰┉┈ Dollie dresses scene & emo as well as lolita sub genres like hime, mori, gothic & classic lolita. But no matter the fashion style she must have her iconic hair bow.

╰┉┈ Dollie is a bohemian and loves everything to do with the arts.

Music

╰┉┈ What’s kind of music does Dollie like? She’s listens to a wide variety of genres. Her favorite artist are The Smiths, Pierce The Veil, Emilie Autumn, and Evanescence.

Random Tidbits

╰┉┈ Dollie is a cat lover and she especially loves tuxedo & black cats.

╰┉┈ Dollie’s signature perfume is Miss Dior Eau De Parfume.

╰┉┈ Dollie’s favorite flower is the Lily of the Valley.

╰┉┈ Dollie’s favorite color is baby pink, hot pink, and black.

* ೃ༄‧˚ Outro

Thank you for reading about my beloved Dollie♥︎.

꒰🖋️꒱ Update log:

- 4 sections added 11/16/23

- 1 section edited 4/13/24

- 5 sections added, 3 sections edited, & format changes [June 2024]

- 4 sections added, 2 sections edited, & format changes [September 2024]

- 16 section added, 3 section edited, 1 section removed, & format changes [October 2024]