#conceptual biology

[kismetmoon]

thinking about concepts with exwhylians’ third dimensional forms and / or flatland lines’ intermediate forms when converting from 2D to 3D bodies,,

[ID: five traditional black ink doodles of concepts for Exwhylian lines and shapes from Gravity Falls, all on beige paper backgrounds.

In the first image, an Exwhylian line is shown. It has a thin body shaped like an upside-down tuning fork, with thin pointed feet and a long torso. It also has a long thing tail with a star on the end. It has a star-shaped head with one blank eye. It is stood upright and slighting smiling.

In the first image, it is a line similar to the one in the first image, except is feet are more rounded and it has a raindrop-shaped symbol on the end of its tail. It is standing and tailoring its head to the left. Its feet are held close together and its tail is curled out to the left side.

In the third image, it is a line wearing a large triangular cloak. It has a circular head with a larger blank eye, a small point on top of its head, triangular eyelashes at either side of its head, thicker pointed feet and a plain tail. It is standing facing the viewer with no expression and its tail can be seen peeking out from under its cloak on the right.

In the fourth image, it is a line with a similar body shape to the one shown in the first image, but it has small hooks on its feet. It has the same tail as the line in the second image. Its head is a circle with another circle around it, a sharp point on top and a blank eye. It is posed as though it is hobbling along, titling its head over to the left.

In the fifth image, it shows a line and an isosceles triangle sitting together. The line has a larger circular head with a small eye and a similar body to the above described line. The isosceles has a black body, a long tail with a flame-shaped end, a circular blank eye and stubby legs.

End ID].

[aut2imagineart]

I recently learned of a newly confirmed planet roughly 20 lightyears from Earth called HD 20794 d. What's interesting about this planet is that it has an eccentric 650 day orbit around a yellow dwarf star (same category as ours) where it spends 59% of it's orbit in the star's inner/outer habitat zone, 34% in its middle habitual zone, and 3% outside of it. If any life exists there, I speculate that most, it not all, of it would have to live fast and die young each year while undergoing metamorphosis to better survive the yearly environmental changes. I created some concept art for a penitential future piece, including digging up an old design, but I'm on more information on the planet to be confirmed before working on anything.

As always, comments and critiques are welcome.

[chiiroptereh]

Went on a mushroom trip on New Years, saw this random image on my phone and it spoke to me. He is like a deep sea organism comb jelly copepod looking thing to me

Always so fascinated by my shroomy art, it's somehow even more colorful than usual and looks nothing like how it was supposed to, lol! Definitely going in my wallpapers folder

[amadillo96]

Personal Kn8 USAKDF ideas.

Weapons+ kaiju-fication

this ties into my theoretical US AKDF post, btw. (This is super unfocused lol.) Here

First up, I'm gonna say I based this on my idea of a US AKDF that uses Kaiju-Hybridization cause it's cool. Though this will be partially focused around a singular character of mine bc I'm going to be packing a lot of lore into each section.

Character Idea

Who've I've affectionately codenamed Los Angeles. They're the one with the "mech-suit".

Personally, I've decided to base their abilities and Kaiju features around ✨️Salamanders✨️. I'd also imagine that each kaiju-hybrid soldier would have a kind of animal theme since the kaiju in kn8 also tend to have animal or plant themes.

Primarily around the toxins that they secrete as a defense mechanism. The kaiju-ification process creating a uni-organ capable of secreting slime or some form of lubricant that could them be used like venom. Injected into the target through a weapon.

Ignore the fact that this is of a newt.

Los Angeles, as a character, would function as a platoon leader and tactician for their group. While remaining rather headstrong and aggressive. So I gave them a mech suit!

Though. Not quite Pacific Rim style, I was more-so inspired by the suits from HALO. A heavy armor that would include mechanical aspects, though would be light enough to maintain a high-speed, aggressive fighting style. Using both aspects of grappling martial arts and rope weapons!

I'd also imagine their kaiju features to include a big old tail. So, a mech-suit would help hide their more inhuman features underneath the layers of armor.

Meteor hammer from Ancient China.

Though the rope weaponry is where an interesting thing could occur. By utilizing something like poisonous secretions alongside a bladed weapon, it would act like a venom!

My current idea for a longer ranged weapon would be a meteor hammer mixed with something like a portable hand saw. A rugged edge that could be swung around like a meteor hammer, with the armor preventing damage against its own user. When coming in contact, it acts as a saw, tearing through enemy flesh, and also administering the poison in tandem.

Kaiju-ification

Though realistically, it doesn't make much sense for a suit of heavy armor to be on a lightweight fighter. The reason I chose this was bc of the kaiju-ification process I had in mind for how the platoons of the US AKDF's "kaiju force" would be created. (Chapter 58)

The current in lore explanation of what creates kaiju.

This process would be utilizing kaiju's natural ability of regeneration to create a parasitic/symbiotic relation between a host human body and the tissue of a kaiju. I'd imagine that to avoid any legal issues dealing with the humaneness of using live human subjects, it'd be found better to use people who would be "unsalvagable" people in vegetative comas and such. Where there is no expectation of a quality of life.

This blank body would then be tested for "cell compatability," much like the number weapon users of the JAKDF. Though, since I'd imagine these trials would be much more diverse in kaiju used, there would be a fair bit of people who'd end up compatable with the kaiju cells. (Chapter 58)

The cells would be implanted, and the body would be left to allow the kaiju's near-cancerous like abilities to regenerate. The best 'batches' of experiments then going on to be trained and rehabilitated into soldiers.

It'd allow all kinds of fun shenanigans as characters who've undergone this process would essentially be stuck in a Kafka-esk scenario. Fighting biological kaiju influences while maintaining a human appearance. Possibly exacerbated depending on how human the process leaves them. ✨️✨️

Something similar to how Narumi's number suit works. Though I'm pretty sure the implanted eyes are a fan theory, they've heavily inspired my ideas of how Kaiju tissue interacts with people.

(Theory stemming from the difference between Narumi's eyes as a teenager vs. his current eyes.)

I also like to think of the process actively creating Kaiju more like a cancer than an evolutionary process.

Since it is influenced by outside phenomena and happens in the short term.

[angelsaxis]

need my feminism to hit the next level. im seeing signs and postings saying that gender gets mapped onto sex (sex itself being a social construct) and i dont disagree at all, I would just like some reading to do on it. maybe an article explaining it.

[artvalve]

tryna have a productive convo with a trans skeptic gets infinitely more tedious when you speak a language where the word for sex and gender are one and the same

[straynoahide]

by god i love old scientific works

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way way opened to it?

[kismetmoon]

More exshylians design!!

Very pretty,very beautiful😭

aw, i’m glad that you like them !

i’m definitely going to make more of these guys in the future, they’re so fun to draw. but here’s my first run down on their adapted biology and basic body plan for exploring a new dimension in the meantime :)

[ID: a traditional black ink pen drawing of an Exwhylian line, an original conceptual character from Gravity Falls.

It has a round head with a white eye without a pupil and a small sharp point on top. Its body is black and thin, with no arms and two spindly legs that end in small fat hooks. It also has a thin curved tail.

It is stood facing the viewer directly with its tail behind it. There is text at either side of it. At the top left the text says “no pupil yet. eliminates potential seizures”. At the bottom left it says “adapted long hooked cilia (akin to spider legs) to allow all terrain and anti-gravitational movement”. On the right is says “still retains basic line body plan on top half” and “single extended cilium now acts as a pseudopod and aids in balance”.

End ID].

also i left just the body plan without any text under the cut :

[ID: the same image as above, but with no text. End ID].

[aut2imagineart]

I couldn't keep my Clarketech concept off my mind so I decided to design some aliens for that setting. Since magic is involved these are a little more fanciful than other alien I've aliens I've designed. In this case, each alien represents different elements in magic systems with humans representing the Earth element. Here's a quick rundown.

Mesh'ra'Dan (top left): representing the water element, their species has long been advanced in the arts of science and magic. They'e achieved radical life extension early in their history and are even capable of shapeshifting due to a combination of their unique biology, magic, and tech. Behaviorally they're not the friendliest but they can be reasoned with.

Lavadevils (top right): Representing fire, Lavadevils are highly aggressive creatures with sapience comparable to cephalopods and non-human apes. Being silicon based, they inhabit a highly volcanic world and is even capable of swimming through lava (hence their names).

Silve (bottom left): Representing air, they inhabit a world seemingly consisting entirely of clouds a mountain peaks. Though generally friendlier, they often prefer to keep to themselves.

Asanuthera (bottom right): Representing aether, this species is the most mysterious and alien known. Capable of surviving the vacuum of space, they navigate the asteroid belt of their home star feeding on organics-rich asteroids. They communicate through a combination of visual displays and radio waves. Though unconfirmed, it is rumored that they have the greatest affinity for magic of all known species.

Let me know if you want to see more refined versions of these aliens or more of the Clarketech concept in general.

As always, comments and critiques are welcome.

[debutart]

“Biology” by Sam Green for Foreign Affairs Magazine.

[foldingfittedsheets]

A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.

When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.

It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.

Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?

Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.

It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.

I stabbed him with his own pencil.

I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)

That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?

The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.

This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”

I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.

By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.

I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.

All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”

“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”

Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.

Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”

My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.

After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.

[reasonsforhope]

"A team at Northwestern University has come up with the term “dancing molecules” to describe an invention of synthetic nanofibers which they say have the potential to quicken the regeneration of cartilage damage beyond what our body is capable of.

The moniker was coined back in November 2021, when the same team introduced an injection of these molecules to repair tissues and reverse paralysis after severe spinal cord injuries in mice.

Now they’ve applied the same therapeutic strategy to damaged human cartilage cells. In a new study, published in the Journal of the American Chemical Society, the treatment activated the gene expression necessary to regenerate cartilage within just four hours.

And, after only three days, the human cells produced protein components needed for cartilage regeneration, something humans can’t do in adulthood.

The conceptual mechanisms of the dancing molecules work through cellular receptors located on the exterior of the cell membrane. These receptors are the gateways for thousands of compounds that run a myriad of processes in biology, but they exist in dense crowds constantly moving about on the cell membrane.

The dancing molecules quickly form synthetic nanofibers that move according to their chemical structure. They mimic the extracellular matrix of the surrounding tissue, and by ‘dancing’ these fibers can keep up with the movement of the cell receptors. By adding biological signaling receptors, the whole assemblage can functionally move and communicate with cells like natural biology.

“Cellular receptors constantly move around,” said Northwestern Professor of Materials Sciences Samuel Stupp, who led the study. “By making our molecules move, ‘dance’ or even leap temporarily out of these structures, known as supramolecular polymers, they are able to connect more effectively with receptors.”

The target of their work is the nearly 530 million people around the globe living with osteoarthritis, a degenerative disease in which tissues in joints break down over time, resulting in one of the most common forms of morbidity and disability.

“Current treatments aim to slow disease progression or postpone inevitable joint replacement,” Stupp said. “There are no regenerative options because humans do not have an inherent capacity to regenerate cartilage in adulthood.”

In the new study, Stupp and his team looked to the receptors for a specific protein critical for cartilage formation and maintenance. To target this receptor, the team developed a new circular peptide that mimics the bioactive signal of the protein, which is called transforming growth factor beta-1 (TGFb-1).

Northwestern U. Press then reported that the researchers incorporated this peptide into two different molecules that interact to form supramolecular polymers in water, each with the same ability to mimic TGFb-1...

“With the success of the study in human cartilage cells, we predict that cartilage regeneration will be greatly enhanced when used in highly translational pre-clinical models,” Stupp said. “It should develop into a novel bioactive material for regeneration of cartilage tissue in joints.”

“We are beginning to see the tremendous breadth of conditions that this fundamental discovery on ‘dancing molecules’ could apply to,” Stupp said. “Controlling supramolecular motion through chemical design appears to be a powerful tool to increase efficacy for a range of regenerative therapies.”"

-via Good News Network, August 5, 2024

[hemlockesprings]

Hi! If you’re still looking to answer questions I have one that I think about every time I listen to your music.

Your stuff is so unique and imaginative from a creative standpoint, and it always makes me wonder: do you draw inspiration from yourself or from other stories/media that you love? Or a mix of both? Or neither? I’m just really curious about your conceptual process I guess? Especially with how cool your mvs are as well.

Sorry for all the question marks lol, and if that’s too personal I totally get it! I was just curious since I saw so many people sending asks. (Also, I just got my going, going, gone anniversary tshirt and it’s quickly become one of my favorites so thanks for that too! Haha)

hello hello! 👋🏾

ooooooooooooohhh a nice variety of question marks, I like it! I'm a musician, nothing's TOO personal 😅 (I might regret saying that later)

I say that I draw inspo from everything! Film, TV, other ppl's music, magazines, any type of media!

For example, I just watched this movie called The Love Witch and I lowkey wanna make a album SOLELY based on that film cause it was maaaaaaaaaaaad interesting anywaysssss

I also feel like coming from a biology background, there were so many instances where things would get realllllllllyyyyyy boring studying, reading, etc.) I HAD to find some sort of escape (ie: music) to rejuvenate myself!

But also, I don't actively think too deep on concepts! It's not that I don't care, I just try to write the song the way the song wants to be written! Basically I start kind of talking to myself, and something usually comes up!

If anything, I spend most of my song-making time researching synonyms or rhymes 😭

Same with MVs! Luckily, I get a lot of help in that area, though! (Collaboration is important!)

ty sm for purchasing a shirt! I'm so glad you like it! And thank you for the questions again (NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THESE TYPES OF THINGS LOL 😂)

-🔒👕🩵

[transmutationisms]

this is probably shaped by my limited frame of reference, but im really fascinated by witnessing the real-time development of adhd as a diagnosis. people attribute so many symptoms to it now or maybe they always did? i was wondering if you have any thoughts on what is the use of adhd specifically as a category within psychiatry. I'm esl so sorry for any confusing wording

no you're right imo; diagnostic categories are always somewhat in flux ofc but ADHD is one that has seen a particularly pronounced shift in the last couple decades. obviously this is multifactorial but my observation goes something along these lines:

'hyperactivity' has been dx'd in children since about the 1950s (also when Ritalin hit the market) but the ADHD dx doesn't really take off until the 90s (also when Adderall, a 2nd-gen reformulation of the 'obesity' drug Obetrol, hit the market). so, it's not all that surprising that 20 years later you see increased patient awareness of the diagnosis, increased popular interest in it, and shifting / expanding ideas of what it means and what ADHD 'is'. it's a relatively young dx.

part of the reason it's young is because it's basically a 'biopsychiatric' dx, meaning it diagnoses certain behaviours as being a 'brain problem' rather than having social causes or context. in practice this is complicated because psychs do use pharmacological approaches in conjunction with psychodynamic ones all the time; nevertheless, the central promise of DSM ADHD and its pharmaceutical treatments has consistently been that the ADHD subject has a physiological, neurological disorder / dysfunction / aberration, and that the drug treatments on the market fix it. that none of this is actually empirically supported is conceptually inconvenient and entrenched by the research process.

the biopsychiatric narrative is worth paying attention to because the context here is one in which it has become commonly accepted that behavioural 'disorders' and affective distress of various kinds can be, basically, either of pure biological origin, or else Your Fault. in the case of childhood hyperactivity, Your Fault historically also included Your Mother's Fault; part of the reason many mothers embraced Ritalin in the 50s and 60s was because the proffered pharmaceutical narrative explicitly challenged the idea that these mothers had done something 'wrong' to result in their (mostly) sons exhibiting disruptive and hyperactive behaviour.

this dichotomy of biology vs personal failing is very overtly present in quite a bit of discourse around ADHD today. if it's my brain being 'wrong' or different, then it's not something I've done wrong but a disease with a simple chemical fix. in this context I don't think it's surprising at all that a lot of popular and patient conceptions of ADHD have seen a considerable widening over the past few decades. often people like to blame this on pharmaceutical companies, and it's true that industry benefits from these discourses and frequently invests in them (eg, via instruments like ADDitude mag). however, that's a pretty simplistic explanation on its own and doesn't really account for the ways in which patients and potential patients also find this diagnostic category personally useful, for reasons ranging from identity-formation to the desire to access prescription amphetamines. ADHD increasingly shows up as a biologised explanation for behaviours ranging from 'eating too many sweets' to 'postural sway' and so on. you can see in such examples how invoking the idea of an aberrant ADHD brain is both reassuring to people who have been made to feel ashamed of certain behaviours, and provides a sense of shared identity and community with others.

all of this is to say: I don't find it surprising at all when I see a relative broadening of notions of ADHD, almost always expressed in biological terms (the 'ADHD brain' operates differently, 'seeks dopamine', causes this or that). ADHD is in some ways a particularly blatant distillation of this general trend in popular psychiatric discourses, for reasons relating to expectations about childhood and child behaviour, and the historical and present relationship between the ADHD label and the regulation of amphetamines. but much of what's happening with ADHD in terms of popular discourses about it can also be seen with many, many other psychiatric diagnoses, to varying extents and in various ways.

my experience writing about ADHD on this website leads me to close by explicitly stating the following: I do not think any ADHD behaviours / symptoms are people's 'fault' or an individual failing; I do not think using drugs for any reason is morally bad or needs to be justified; the fact that I do not think ADHD is a 'brain disease' does not mean I think people are 'making it up' or exaggerating wrt any difficulties they experience personally, professionally, emotionally, &c.

[phoenixblaze1412]

Hello!!! i love your blog a lot and i was wondering something about the child reader au, how would the segments react if child! reader had some form of neurodivergency? Maybe they are below the level they need to be for their age on some topics but above and beyond in others that they fixate on?

Dottore prided himself on logic, intellect, and efficiency. Emotions, sentiments, and attachments were little more than distractions in his work. Yet here he was, a father to a peculiar child with a mind that worked in ways even he had trouble fully comprehending.

You weren’t an average child, that much had been clear from the beginning. In some aspects, you were brilliant beyond your years—your understanding of mechanics, biology, or even abstract theories often stunned the segments. But in other areas, you struggled.

Social cues? Difficult. Routine changes? Unsettling. Basic arithmetic? A nightmare. But if someone mentioned a topic you fixated on? You could talk about it for hours, analyzing it with detail and enthusiasm that made even the segments pause in admiration.

Omega was, by design, the closest in mannerisms to the original Dottore. Logical, composed, and a firm believer in efficiency. At first, he viewed your neurodivergency with mild skepticism—was it a flaw, an imperfection?

But he learned.

The day you explained, in perfect detail, the entire structure of a mechanical device that even he had struggled to perfect, Omega realized that you weren’t broken. You were simply wired differently. And different was not inherently inefficient.

“I fail to understand how you struggle with basic addition yet can conceptualize entire blueprints in your head,” he muttered one evening as you effortlessly explained an invention to him.

You shrugged, fiddling with one of the gears. “Numbers are hard… but machines make sense.”

Omega was not one for sentimentality, but something about that statement struck a chord within him. From then on, he no longer dismissed your difficulties but worked around them. If you struggled with verbal explanations, he provided diagrams. If basic equations frustrated you, he incorporated visual methods to make them more engaging.

Efficiency was key, and Omega ensured you had the tools to work with your mind, not against it.

Iota had always been the most protective of the segments, and this instinct only intensified when it came to you. He was perceptive, noticing the small details others overlooked—the way your fingers twitched when overstimulated, the way you recoiled from certain textures or noises, how a break in routine could leave you spiraling.

And so, Iota adapted.

He subtly adjusted the environment to keep it comfortable for you. He ensured your workspace remained structured and predictable, preventing unnecessary disruptions. If a loud noise startled you, he was quick to soothe you, offering headphones or leading you away.

The day a Fatui recruit made a snide remark about your struggles, Iota didn’t hesitate. He had the soldier reassigned within the hour, his normally calm demeanor replaced with cold fury.

“They don’t get to mock you,” he told you firmly. “You’re brilliant in ways they’ll never understand.”

You never forgot that.

Theta was your escape from rigidity. He was the one who encouraged your creativity, indulging in your fixations and making learning fun. While others tried to teach you through structured lessons, Theta turned it into a game.

Can’t focus on writing? Let’s turn it into a story where you’re the main character. Need help with problem-solving? Let’s frame it as an experiment.

He never made you feel bad for your struggles, never got frustrated when you drifted off-topic. Instead, he matched your energy, meeting you where you were.

When you got overwhelmed, he was the first to pull you aside for a breather. “C’mon, kid, let’s get some fresh air. No point frying your brain over this.”

And when you hyper-fixated on something? He was right there with you, grinning as he listened to you ramble.

“You know,” he chuckled once, “you might just be the most interesting person in this whole damn place.”

Alpha wasn’t always the easiest to deal with. He valued discipline and order, and your unpredictable nature sometimes clashed with his methods. At first, he struggled with your need for specific routines and your difficulty in adapting to sudden changes.

But Alpha was observant. He noticed how your frustration wasn’t from defiance, but from genuine distress. The day you had a meltdown over a last-minute schedule change, he didn’t scold you. Instead, he sat with you, grounding you with a firm yet steady presence.

“We’ll find a way to work with this,” he said after you’d calmed down. “Not against it.”

True to his word, Alpha found ways to make transitions easier for you. He implemented structured warnings before any changes, created visual schedules, and ensured you always had a sense of control over your environment.

Over time, you grew to trust him, knowing that while he was strict, he was also reliable.

Dottore had seen many things in his life, yet raising a neurodivergent child was an entirely new experience. He was not a man of patience, yet he found himself developing it for you. When he first realized that your brain operated on a different wavelength, he studied you—closely, carefully, not as a scientist, but as a father.

He did not try to “fix” you. Instead, he tried to understand.

When you hyper-focused, he let you ramble, never once interrupting. When you struggled, he analyzed what methods worked best for you. When the world became too overwhelming, he was your anchor.

One night, after you’d fallen asleep at your desk, surrounded by half-finished projects, he carefully draped a blanket over you, watching the slow rise and fall of your breath.

“You’re remarkable,” he murmured, more to himself than to you.

Dottore had never expected to be a father. He had never expected to care so deeply for someone so small, so different, yet so utterly brilliant in their own way. But as he stood there, watching over you, he realized something undeniable:

You were his greatest experiment. His greatest challenge. And his greatest joy.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Y'all wanna know about a gender-non-conforming knight from 13th century France? No? That's okay- I'm fine with talking to myself.

I'm obsessed with gender performativity in early medieval texts- so obviously I had to know everything about Le Roman De Silence.

To preface-

So, long before there was the Marvel Cinematic Universe- there was the interconnected works of the Arthurian Legends. The original superheroes- King Arthur, Merlin, Morganna le Fey, and the rest of the cast. However, one of the lesser known (only arguably canonical) interconnected texts of the Arthurian legend hails from France. People argue over whether or not to include these texts as part of the cannon of King Arthur because it's technically french- and the french-english divide between characterization of all the main players of Arthur's court is remarkably different. Much research on this suggests the discrepancy of characterization is largely due to distance between where the stories originate, and sociopolitical tensions between the French and the English. Either people were too far apart to share stories- thus too far apart to keep characterization uniform, or they fucking hated each other enough to mess up the characterization on purpose. For example, many of the French portrayals of King Arthur paint him to be a rather terrible person, where English portrayals are generally more kind to him.

All that aside- many people will disagree that Le Roman de Silence should even be part of the Arthurian legend canon anyway- because it only mentions Merlin at the end of the poem and because it's a super french poem.

The main storyline is about this character named Silence. From the Old French Poem- Le Roman de Silence.

Gender? No- Never heard of it.

The latter half of the story in this poem is predicated on a complex mediation of Nature vs Nurture. What happens is that a baby is born into a wealthy family, and for sociopolitical reasons, the family decides to raise the girl baby as a boy. They name this child "silence." Silence grows up with full access to an education, as was typical for the boy children of aristocratic medieval families- this education becomes important later as Silence wrestle with where they fit into the larger social structure after maturing into adulthood. Essentially, they find the idea of marriage too boring and would like to be a Knight or Explorer instead. (I love them.) Anyway, it's fascinating to me that the conceptual ideas of nature and nurture are personified into being something like "deities" which are overseeing the growth of Silence through the ages- and so we get these deities commentary.

Silence wants to be a knight- so Nurture brags about being right that gender is more performative than it is biological. Then, later Silence grows up to be remarkably "pretty" and according to the deity of Nature- they brag about being right that biology and gender are intrinsically tied. It's such a thought-provoking mediation on gender as either performance or pure biology that I forget it was written in the 13th century- long before Freud or Lacan or any of the others who became hyper fixated on human presumption of gender as either a social category or a biological necessity.

I argued in a paper, once, that the narrative itself does actually finally end on the note that Gender is a performance, and it is tied into social roles only so the ruling class can have control of the population. That is why the stories ending shifts into horror-genre-esque of Silence marrying into the upper-ruling class.

I also have a strong urge to write a Fanfiction of Silence as a knight- who does not meet a sad fate but rather lives happily as a knight and eventually marries a princess. Okay- Okay? fine I said it. I said it-

Social pressure to marry?

The story takes a dark turn, however- when the King demands Silence to reveal themselves in front of the court. Obviously, even the author of the story was aware that misogynistic social standards would not allow for people to ever really be free of gender stereotypes and roles. So, Silence is then forced out of the adventurous lifestyle of a knight and into a marriage. Also, this is the place in the story where Merlin makes an appearance (I have a theory that Merlin is representative of the devil, and the author really hated that all AFAB people were forced into marriage back in 1200's. So that's why the devil shows up when all the bad shit is happening to Silence).

Inevitability and dismay-

What I find particularly interesting about this poem is the fact that the end, as Silence is forced into marriage and back into "proper" social roles for their assumed biological characteristics, is the fact that it is written like an early attempt at gothic horror!

So, one of the stipulations for something being a "gothic horror" is 1.) old, archaic, twisted buildings. (this blog is indeed named after my fixation with gothic horror elements, it's interplay relation to social reform, as its emphasis on decay as the tonal necessity for social indemnification). Anyway, the other most important aspect of gothic horror- is an overwhelming sense of desolation, isolation, and loneliness.

Sure, Silence is forced into marriage- but even with the forthright writing style of the author, we, as readers, are struck by Silence's loneliness. Thus, the "happily ever after" part of the storyline wherein the characters get married, as it traditional to chivalric romance, is recriminated against in subtext. Now, we have a moment in which the "happily ever after" is a creation of horror rather than peace.

Ending the narrative with marriage as equivalent to a loss of freedom and a sense of evermore-present loneliness, cumulating in the edifice of horror-struck fear in Silence at their own new future, is a remarkably bold social statement coming from a 13th century author.

I just think it's a really interesting text on the thematic points of negotiating Gender identity, in broader terms of performance and social roles, as much as it is a critique on the total social control that the monarchy held over the people of 13th century France.

Edit: I need to add that Silence themselves consistently rejects the idea that they are AFAB and instead only ever refers to themselves as "Silence" or "the knight"