#completely false stop it

[ask-brad-bakshi]

you seem like the kinda guy who has a thing for dads. yknow, middle aged, receding hairline, wears a lot of flannel and probably is very proud of his expensive barbeque shit. you know the type.

Completely wrong. And dumb. Where is your evidence. Please stop

[thedroloisms]

just an essay bc it's been on my mind but the way that victimhood becomes a weapon on social media is so fucking stupid and counterintuitive to actual advocacy. people wielding "im a victim" as a defense not only in situations actually involving their specific case but also in basically every damn situation in the world is so ???? even in cases involving dream, for example, i will see people using his history as a means of defending him (it's really fucked up that you would accuse a victim of ___, he's an abuse victim i'm sure he won't defend ___ and that he'll ___) and while i understand where that sentiment comes from, the base assumption it's making is...nakedly untrue. and assuming its truthfulness can hurt victims moreso than it helps them.

being a victim isn't moralizing. being a victim doesn't make you a good person. suffering isn't absolution, and going through fucked up shit doesn't make someone "good." people equate abuser = bad person and victim = good person, and then assume that victims are incapable of abusive behavior or "problematic" internalized ideas. an abuser can't be neurodivergent, or mentally ill, or part of a marginalized group, and most importantly an abuser can't be a victim. the boxes of victim and abuser are strictly defined with no overlap. once you've been through something truly, verifiably, Fucked Up (tm), congrats! you get a certificate of eternal victimhood that prevents you from ever being a Real Bad Person ever for the rest of your life.

only that's not how real life works! it's just not! generational trauma leads to cycles of abuse that perpetuate themselves over whole generations of people! the kids that think that it's perfectly fine and a-okay for a parent to physically punish their children don't tend to be the ones with parents that don't lay a finger on them! and you know, it sucks. it sucks that you get nothing out of being hurt, that there's no fucking prize, that there are no suffering vouchers for you to cash in because of the abuse you suffered that can give you good-person-points. it sucks to endure all that shit for nothing. but the opposite idea of suffering making you a good person is the exact reason why some people preach about the miles they walked to school in the driving rain to excuse taking out their shitty temper on their small children.

being abused generally doesn't make one "better." if anything, trauma tends to fuck you up in ways that hurt you...and others. going through shit tends to make people worse. working to get better is something that requires actual conscious effort, not something that you are given as a side effect of going through hell. over and over again, traumatized individuals who are made to feel powerless and given little freedom and ability to change their circumstances, when in a situation where they are given power to some degree over some person, may choose to abuse that power while they're in their own abusive situation or after. part of being a victim of abuse often means having a distorted view of the abuse you've been through! it can mean normalizing fucked up behavior! looking at shit and treating it lightly because you've been taught that it's "not that bad," if you've been taught that it's bad at all! victims aren't granted perfect ideologies from god because they walked through flames--cult survivors usually have to unlearn all sorts of messed up beliefs that were drilled into them--beliefs that many people on twitter would then damn them for, because obviously if you've thought something like that in the past then you're a bigoted hateful individual.

i can only speak from my own experience, but i can't fucking count the number of people i've heard of or met or known personally who have been through some kind of trauma in the past, who are undoubtably victims of abuse, who then go on to act in toxic, manipulative, and abusive ways to others. oftentimes, these people are aware of the fact that they were in abusive situations in the past and make quite a big deal about the fact that they care about victims, as a victim, and want to advocate for them. they're the same people who react extremely negatively to anyone alluding to the idea that they could be abusive--they're not like that, they've been abused, how could anyone accuse them of abusing another person, don't they know how much that hurts with their history. and so on and so forth.

and...i have a lot of sympathy for these individuals, generally speaking. because as mentioned above, being abused in the past doesn't necessarily make it harder for you to be a perpetrator in the future. sometimes--oftentimes, even--it's the opposite. and i feel for them, because going through trauma and being hurt makes you scramble for ways to not be hurt again, and oftentimes the easiest answer for that (and the ways of solving problems as modeled to them in the past!) is control, and controlling another party can very easily slip into manipulative, abusive behavior. especially if you still have internalized ideas mixed in with the fear that surviving abuse entails, internalized ideas that are often left unexamined by people who believe that their victimhood absolves them from any further responsibility. i feel for people who are deathly afraid of ever being seen as terrible people, oftentimes because of the shit that they went through, who seek explanations for their abusers' behavior that make it so much easier to simplify the matter into "they're something separate from me, something that i can never become." i sympathize with the anger and fear and frustration and grief that might never had had a healthy outlet while in a past situation that ends up poured out into places where it shouldn't be in the present, i sympathize with the desire to find reason in being hurt where it doesn't exist, to want there to be something to make the whole damn thing worth it instead of having nothing to take with you but your pain.

but at the end of the day, that's not how life works. that's not how abuse works. yeah, there are abusers who are cruel for cruelty's sake, who are aware of the harm they do and desire to cause more--and there are just as many who genuinely believe that they're doing the right thing, that they're doing good, that they care for the one that they're hurting unselfishly and wholeheartedly. there are many, many people who hurt others because they have been hurt before, and this isn't an excuse--of course not--but refusing to acknowledge the ways that pain can perpetuate itself and blinding oneself to the possibility of their own actions ever being abusive can literally be how this pain continues. it's good to be self aware, it's good to want to do the right thing, but assuming that victims are good people because of the suffering they went through not only means that so-called "bad victims" (or anyone that's not yet Acceptably untangled the thought patterns and actions that have been normalized to them, or anyone who lashes out in quote-unquote appropriate ways as judged by whatever social media council is handing out social justice tickets for the week) get overlooked and ignored, but abusive patterns of behavior are allowed to continue to exist, just in a repackaged form with different language. it's not fair to victims to nail them to this standard of so-called righteousness that is also inextricably connected to their experiences, allowed to be revoked if they're too "abuser" to be "victim" anymore, or to overlook the victims of their behavior because their inherent suffering-borne righteousness keeps them from crossing the line into bad behavior.

at the end of the day, no one deserves abuse, victims deserve to be advocated for, and people who have been through horrific shit didn't deserve to go through horrific shit. but you don't get handed get-out-of-jail-free cards for being treated badly, you know?

[quackity1999]

If you could get rid of one of us, who would you kill?

Would it be the ones who trigger you? Who poke, and prod, and make now seem like then. Those who can't get enough of your suffering, taking your energy and joy and making it into their own, the ones who make you their feast.

Would it be the spam? Us who commercialize your mind, using you as clout, such is your purpose? Just a pretty face to put on a package, to advertise a glorious nation and a glamorous life.

Or maybe the poets- capturing your attention with their paragraph and metaphors, taking your time, taking you away from the world and deep into your own mind. Comparing you and your actions to all of what you hate, and what you hate to be. Reminding you of what you've become.

But maybe it's the ones who care. The soft ones, the ones who could so easily trick and manipulate you. It's so familiar, and yet not. Because you've done this before, long enough to be paranoid of it. But still new- the names they call you, their encouragement, it's not something you've heard all that often. They make you seem childish, soft. Not even just that, they make you feel things you haven't in a long time. You can handle abuse, ridicule, objectification- but this is new. Can you handle new?

What'll it be?

. . i think you're all out to get me in some way or another. it's not about the killing— i've always been better at building something you can't take down easily.

i don't know, okay? fuck, man. quit acting as if any of you even fucking know me.

trust me, you don't.

[neodiekido]

i need to draw something for shuichis birthday after i finish my hw but im rewatching trial 6 and getting really emotional about it

[fizzyghosts]

Hywel is inspired by a mix of my issues with stories with nonhuman protagonist/about nonhumans becoming human AND vet posts ive seen warning people about the dangers of anthropomorphisizing animals. Its fine to joke about your pets doing things out of spite or other human emotions, it does put you at risk of not being able to read their body language correctly. Cats dont cry out of sadness, a cat crying, with actual tears streaming down its face, is a sign of a medical issue. A dog smiling isn't doing it bc its happy, it means its nervous. Not being able to spot these is bad, and sometimes even dangerous, for you and the animal.

If you never get past Hywel's human appearance and treat him like one its like getting a reactive dog, doing zero research or training, and then taking it to a dog park. If Hywel mauls someone in town then its on you.

[hickeygender]

you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?

[arolesbianism]

Finallly got around to properly designing Demonstrator! She’s silly

[spocks-kaathyra]

.

[kneworder]

i have all these draft documents of half finished fics full of lines i love but that are so fundamentally flawed i can't figure out how to finish them and can't kill my darlings mercilessly enough to get past the roadblocks so i just reread them over and over and think damn this is kinda fire. wish it was anywhere near shareable.

[cynical-crypt]

proshitter fucking weirdo,,,, liking kids isnt cool!!

buddy. buddy. do you know how to read?

^^ do you see that? i know this is gonna be difficult for you to fathom but *THAT* little bit there means don't fucking talk to me. i don't need or want you and your puritan dipshit friends on my page bugging me all the time like you have been. judging by the general lack of intelligence behind your message i'm gonna assume you're some kid that was brainwashed by tiktok and/or twitter and you need to chill the fuck out. go find a hobby that doesn't thrive solely off of annoying everyone else with hatemail. normally i wouldn't respond to these but i found it hilarious how sad it was and also clearing out my inbox constantly is annoying

[sollucets]

fun news from baldur’s gate: act 3 has been trying Really hard to crater my pc, a thing i shouldve expected but still took me by surprise anyway lol

[legallypumpkinn]

“…lest we literally die.” has gotta be one of my favorite things I’ve written for this essay.

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

I need to continue writing the sitcom au fanfic for tsp because I had so many plans for 432 and a stanarrator slowburn it was insane. Also Mariella and Stanley becoming work besties and curator helping 432…

[lord-of-the-noodles]

i heard somewhere they stopped taking people 's blood type at birth because of "fathers" finding out they weren't actually the father

this started as a joke but then i started actually thinking about it and now im really annoyed that IDs have this one letter that doesnt mean anything for cis people and is a huge pain in the ass for trans people when we could instead have literally lifesaving information so emergency medical services could just check ur wallet to see which blood to give you so you dont die or whatever But No

[r0bee]

Just realised that it's actually very funny that when my new tattoo was healing my brain kept telling me the itch was maggots under my skin. It's funny bc my other tattoo is inspired by the song Maggot but this unrelated one got that thought

[chicanedaze]

the only reason that I don't like people drawing canonly white characters as poc is that I'll see a cool poc design and be like, "epic, let me check out more of this poc character" only to turn up photos of the most bland white boy (girl/nb/etc) I've ever seen in my life