#comedyish

[banjolandsblog]

White Men Can't Jump | Official Trailer | Hulu

[daisyachain]

The second spider-verse was a great experience and grows on me more and more. The highs aren’t as high as the first. The soundtracks and the set pieces of Into are just stunning. The tighter focus on Miles produces character moments you feel more keenly. The way the movie shifts into montage. Few scenes in cinema can ever top What’s Up Danger.

What gets me about Across is how it manages to keep the comic structure. The flashes to the issue covers in Into is more of a gag and a way to track the cast. The flashes to issue covers in Across feel much more like you’re actually reading a comic. As in western Big Two comics, Across lingers for a long time in the real-world interpersonal drama of its characters. The flashes of action don’t build to a single climax. Instead, the movie’s story fits with serialization. The climax…isn’t really a climax, the end isn’t really a cliffhanger. It follows a series of quieter beats than a big cinematic bang like Into.

The natural arc of a comic is about 5 issues—that’s the length of a miniseries, that’s the length of Spider-Gwen’s first miniseries. Guess how many the movie covers? As my cousin said, it’s hard to pick out where Act 3 starts because it’s not structured like a film! Like a crossover event, you have an issue of Gwen, an issue of Miles, then the start of the crossover, the big cameo, then split back into the individual titles. Even down to the switching between Gwen and Miles, it feels a lot like a comics cast then Into’s far more comedyish assortment.

Apart from Gwen, the alternate universes of Into are just a joke. The alternate universes of Across are as melodramatically superserious as they are in comics. One of the things that surprised me about getting into comics was that level of melodrama; the native tone of the Western comic is a romance, it’s not the comedy-action that movies try to force on comics. X-Men and Batman are iconic for their drama. That’s what Across gets that Into doesn’t necessarily—both were made with immense love for the source material. Into pays tribute to it, Across becomes it.

[431989]

okay fuck it we ball im posting resident alien stuff here. hyperfixation time. spoilers below so be warned.

im sooo bummed over the recent ep. the gripe i have w every single piece of media happened agaiiinnnnn. can i have ONE thing that doesnt force relationship arcs. especially ones that dont fit the initial or continuing tone of the shoooow. <--- edit again to clarify. i loved the tone of s1. i want that back. its getting too comedyish.

like i rlly connected w harry esp the fact he wasnt really getting infatuated with anyone but this whole horned up episode was grating to watch. like i still think there were sweet moments but boooo 🍅💥🍅💥 im hoping its just for some sort of conflict and that itll get squashed come the next few eps. (ALSO EDIT: at least the thing with harry and isabelle was palatable. gahhh im just peeved….)

s1 was so baller too like it had good clever comedy and still had drama to it. like im hoping the very like… bland surface level humor gets dialed back. like its soooo forced to me. but i guess thats what the average viewer likes which is dog doodoo. dont make it a sitcom please im begging. it was soooo unique.

i will be rewatching season 1 for the 5th time tonight but another thing i noticed is the increased use of like… musical scores. its like one step removed from a laugh track. gahh.

anyways im a harry asta supporter also harry joseph supporter so this forced stuff hurts to watch esp bc it doesnt fit character to me. considering harrys whole thing so far has been about developing and realizing connections, the sudden shift to horniness just! isnt consistent. not to be autistic or anything haha.

speaking of! i think its boring and cheap to have this alien/alien thing going on. and also feels really like.. “nd people can never fit in so they have to be with other nd people.” i think i wouldnt be so turned away if it was more genuine. but this is a comedy ig, i just wish it was handled differently. its uninteresting to meeeee. like an alien/alien thing can work but not like this. gives very nd are forever seen as weird and are therefor ostracized. like it feels othering to me. ESP BC OF HOW FORCED UGHHHHHHH i hate forced romance shit so much. perhaps thats an unpopular take but i said what i said! sudden nonmeaningful stuff like this i feel will kill the show. i wouldnt be surprised if it fizzles out.

UM ALSO? tudyk bringing up shape of water on insta abt the newest ep????? i dont think so???????? i never watched that but i kind of know what it was about and it certainly wasnt fish on fish love. smdh. like i feel like the reason why it was so big when it came out was (albeit as someone who hasnt watched it and have surface level understanding) bc it was between a lady and fish guy. and it was heartfelt. not to be harry asta or anything but that was already developing so like. AGHHHUU. even a harry joseph dynamic i can get around in a way bc theres room for development. also itd be gay so thats a plus.

anyways i might check out the graphic novels. told myself i wouldnt bc my brain works weird but maybe itd be a good idea to get into that. unfortunately i will probably be begrudgingly keeping up bc im hyperfixated on it. GAHHHGG anyways ramble rant over.

edit ps: i will also clarify that if asta were to be written out to be nd i would be just as pleased if not more pleased. im just not liking how this is going so far. tomato tomato tomato

[mumpsetc]

do you like any comedyish episodes of iii? if yes, which?

Disclaimer That I Haven't Done a Full Rewatch of iii Since It Started Because I Dont Want To. I Have Seen Every Episode About 3 Times But Only When They Aired so My Memory is Foggy. I Do Remember Really Enjoying Overthinkers Though, Focusing Entirely On Characters Hashing Out Who to Vote is a Fun Episode Concept That Does Have a Few Good Gags, I Remember the Repeated Invitation Gettin Me.

[blackfilmmakers]

have you watched Dreaming Whilst Black? currently watching it rn and it got me on my creative ZOOM. It's literally everything 😭

its a british show and its about an aspiring black british filmmaker and his journey. its also a comedyish too but has really deep moments pls watch it

No I haven't, I'm gonna have to check it out

Sounds interesting

[apple-bombs]

Gender swapped

Doing an art challenge drawing one of my characters in different things and ways. This is my character Kendall gender swapped. He's a serial killer in a somewhat dark comedyish world where he's constantly beefing with the sheriff, tending to his farm and finding out he has a surprise son

[nyxbird]

what

okay minor (maybe more than minor) spoilers

laios isn't forced to stop interacting with monsters for no reason. he *is* cursed not to, and it's played for tragedy. if your expectation of the series was that it was more slice-of-life comedyish then i can see why you might not want this, but the series does get dark relatively quickly.

but dungeon meshi is a story about sacrifices. laios' passion for monsters isn't a surface-level joke or anything, it's something that runs deep within his character and is acknowledged as such. (it's also worth mentioning that he is written as an autistic character, so you're right about that.) his passion being taken away from him is meant to be heart-wrenching to his character and those who relate to him. it's the price he has to pay for his actions

i think if this was what would make you drop the show, then it might not be entirely for you (in which case, you're right for dropping it i guess.) but dungeon meshi is a *very* good story with large amounts of depth and emotion to it. it is kind of played for laughs at the beginning, but the story, at it's core, is the party sacrificing themselves and risking their lives in order to save someone. laios' final sacrifice is the price he pays to save his sister (and the world). yes, he lost the ability to express a part of himself. but the other option was for him to lose falin, someone who he loves dearly.

the point of this wasn't to like. blame you or anything. if you don't want to watch something you don't have to. but i feel like you might be missing out on something wonderful because someone phrased something oddly.

Looks like I’ll have to add Dungeon Meshi to my Do Not Watch list after hearing about how it ends, particularly with regards to Laios. Damn shame.

Since ppl are asking, I'll edit in an explanation under a read more, even though I wanted to keep this vague:

As I understand it, seeing some posts about it in my searching through Tumblr & Twitter, Laios ends up (being made to? Coerced to?) give up his life of dungeoneering and adventure to be a king, which is something he neither wanted nor (as one post I saw worded it, anyway) was the best qualified for.

On top of that, the kicker is that he's barred (magical curse? I'm not sure) from his greatest passion, being with & studying monsters. They no longer come to his kingdom, which keeps people safe, but at the cost of something he loves so dearly. And he's clearly not happy about it. It would be one thing if this was something he chose to give up, but as far as I'm aware that's not the case (but even then, I still wouldn't like it).

From what I've seen, yes, Laios is still able to eat monsters as food if they're brought in after dying, but still. Being only able to interact with the table scraps (no pun intended) of the thing you love most?

I won't be presumptive or entitled enough to say that the idea that Laios is autistic is in any way textual, as someone who hasn't actually read or watched Dungeon Meshi. I've seen some accounts that say Ryoko Kui wrote him as such on purpose, but without confirmation I'm not gonna go out of my way and say that how she decided to end Laios' story in that fashion is problematic.

However, it's undeniable that many neurodivergent people, particularly those on the spectrum, strongly identified with Laios for various reasons, and so it's understandable that to forcibly take away his passion makes those people uncomfortable. I may not be on the spectrum myself, but it's enough to make my skin crawl and feel pretty icky on the inside, so it's just not a character ending that I can celebrate.

[anadhdmind]

Hello there random adventures into the unknown this blog of mine will soon be filled with absolutely mental garbage as I’ll be posting and spilling about every thing that pops into my head and has happened in my life. Why? I hear a voice in my head ask me while I’m mopping the floors at work. It’s simple I’m not gonna live forever and I’d rather be able to make someone smile 😁

[wordsandcolons-blog]

5. {Diary of the Sick: Chapter 1}

Day One

Dear Anyone Who Reads This,

I have had:-

1 cup of hibiscus tea 1 cup of milk tea 1 cup of ginger, lemon and mint, my special concoction to days like these.

Keep in mind these are all hot beverages.

I am currently having a cup of cinnamon too. Let the record know that it is currently 9:13 PM.

Did I mention I hate getting sick? Because I do, and I cannot imagine anyone who enjoys the voyage of sickness. It is rather terrible too due to the moodiness. If I hadn’t had this apartment to myself, I would have lashed out to whoever would have resided here. Thank the lord that is not the case.

I have prepared whatever meals I could muster, lunch was delivered to my door step.

Hmm, regarding the medicine aspect, it would seem wise to pay a visit to a doctor, but I am afraid I will just have to do with the cold and flu medicine I always use when I fall ill. Oh, and Vitamin C, never forget the Vitamin C. That reminds me, I am running out of Vitamin C, that means I ought to leave the house tomorrow to purchase some.

I am utterly bored, and I cannot fathom any ideas to entertain me, hence this rather obnoxious diary of sickness I am in endeavors of writing.

I also ponder whether alerting someone of my condition is necessary. I think that is uncalled for, so I shall remain silent about this. I makes sound as if I am terminally ill and will be dying soon. Gosh, sometimes I behave in such dramatic ways!

Oh! I am on my last drink of the day: a good ol’ warm cup of ginger tea.

With love, Yoongi

[philipjohnclapp]

MASTERLIST

THIS IS MY JACKASS MASTERLIST I WRITE ANYTHING AND ALL AND ITS ALL LINKED HERE!

Johnny Knoxville

Out of Control (Angst, featuring Knoxville as Clay Barber from Reboot, mentions of character death, substance abuse, and Reboot spoilers)

CKY Member Dating Knoxville Headcanon's (Mentions of the band and the show and Jackass, and relationships with the other CKY guys, pretty much fluff and barely nsfw)

T-Pee (It is a series and it’s on AO3, angst, silver fox Knoxville, hurt, dark comedyish)

Johnnny Knoxville Dating Pregnant Reader Headcanons (Young Johnny, fem reader, fluff for the most part)

Steve-O

Quietus of All Drugs (Angst, no comfort, all cannon, also includes Johnny, and Chris, extremely triggering)

The File (Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, humor, slight gore)

My Annoying Neighbor Steve (Kinda hate at start, fluff, female reader, humor, kinda ship)

Steve-O Dating Reader Headcanons (No gender implied take it as you will, fluff)

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Headcanons (Female reader, fluff, a bit of smut, funny and wholesome.)

My Suicide: Steve-O's Cut; How to Write a Letter? (Angst, hurt, mentions of all the guys, series on AO3)

If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough(Goretober Prompt 1, super bad writing, angst, mentions of Knoxville.)

Dave England

Dating Dave England Headcannon's ( Headcannons, fluff, no gender specified, humor.)

Bam Margera

I’m Y/N And I'm Gonna Tease Bam All Day Long (Drabble, fem reader, smut.)

Sex Pollution (Imagine, fem reader implied, smut, slow burn, jealous, reader is Johnny Knoxvilles sister.)

Rigged Game of Ping Pong (Drabble, angst, Jackass Forever, issues, Goretober prompt 3.)

Chris Pontius

I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone. (Long Fic, Female Y/N, noncon, smut, Jackass MTV)

Ryan Dunn

Ryan Dunn Headcanons (Mostly fluff & wholesome, a bit of reader/yn.)

Wee-Man

None

Preston Lacy

None

Ehren McGhehey

Submissive Ehren McGhehey Smut Headcannons

(Headcannons, smut, fluff, no reader specified, no character specified, just whoever you’d like.)

Jeff Tremaine

None

Spike Jonze

Car Jacking

(Smut, masturbation, mentions of ships, rough)

Brandon DiCamillo

None

Chris Raab

None

Poopies

None

Rachel Wolfson

None

Zach

None

Brandon Novak

None

Tony Hawk

None

Ville Valo

None

(Will edit as requested)

PAIRINGS

Chris Pontius and Steve-O

Chris Pontius and Steve-O Dating Headcannons (Fluff, humor, mentions of light drugs, mentions of Wild Boyz)

Vomiting Lust (NSFW, humor, mentions of Wild Boyz, and vomit. )

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-Os First Time Together Headcanons (NSFW, humor, dirty, ship obviously.)

Clowning Around (Bromance, not really a ship, denial?, humor, fluff.)

Cheap cologne, even cheaper cigarettes, and Tennessee whiskey. (Goretober prompt 2, Slight NSFW, rough, substance abuse.)

Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville

Rebel Against The Man (Implied Relationship, mentions of smut, drug and alcohol abuse, character death, angsty, suicide implied?)

Will edit and add as requests flood in, plus there’s too many pairings, so that make it easier.

[supermariomamafucker]

Ok does anyone have any recs for crime novels that are sort of in the vein of a coen brothers movie and that kind of stuff. dark comedyish type crime stuff. still growing my list of books to read

[dramaphan]

basically it was comedyish i wouldn’t really call it a ted talk but dan did it for pride apparently the proceeds go to a lgbtq charity. it was really small though, only about 100 people and it lasted for ab an hour

He fascinates me with the things he chooses to do

[darling-i-read-it]

Labor

Will Graham x reader

Word Count: 800

Warnings: labor, pregnancy 

Author’s Note: I hope this is what you wanted love! I tried to make it a lot more comical lol. It is kind of short but I it’s late which is my excuse every time but it’s fine 

Requested: by anon, Hey there, ur blog is so awesome! I'd love to read something with Will Graham and a s/o who's pregnant and in labor and she's like in a lot of pain but everything works well at the end! I thought of something more of a comedy than angst. Thanks!

Summary: the request 

Genre: fluff/comedyish 

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

(not my gif) (look at my baby boy) 

The anger you had for your husband in that moment was imaginable. You were so mad that the screaming seemed like a small relief. 

“Will!” you screamed and he nodded, grabbing your hand. 

“Yes?” he asked quietly, next to your ear. You squeezed his hand for dear life and looked up at him.

“If you think we’re ever having sex again you are sorely wrong,” you said in a small moment of clarity just before you went about screaming again. Will almost laughed then thought better of it.

“That’s okay,” he promised. 

He hated seeing you in so much pain, especially knowing that he was partly the cause of it. Granted, in the moment you had both been hoping for this outcome, the two of you waiting for a baby to come into the world. 

You just hadn’t anticipated this much pain. Of course you knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park or anything but still you had hoped for an easy short birth. That was not at all what you were getting.

“Aren’t there like, meds you can give me? Have Jack bring weed from evidence or something,” you called to the doctors then to Will. 

“You’re too far into it for any meds ma’am.”

“And I don’t think the weed would be very good for the baby,” Will pointed out. You almost hit him with his own hand that you had a death grip on.

“Don’t tell me what is and isn’t good right now Will Graham.” 

You were about to go on when you started to scream again, feeling the pain of the contractions in your stomach like no other. 

“Alright, I can see the head. We’ve got a few more pushes and then I think we’ll be golden. You wanna get down here dad?” The doctor asked and it took Will literally upwards of thirty seconds to realize they were talking about him.

“No, she wants me to stay up here,” he lied. You gave him a look and he shrugged.

“I’ll murder you. I’ll ask Hannibal to murder you Will.”

“On second thought maybe I should help.” 

Will already had the scrubs on as he walked down to your bottom half. He was dedicated and even if you saw the disgusted look on his face for a minute you were happy to see that he dove right in. You almost made a quip about how it wasn’t the first time he had been between your legs when the doctor started talking again.

“Alright mom, push!” You grabbed the railings on the side of the bed and let out a push with all of your might. You had to stop to catch your breath and suddenly you couldn’t help but think about all those moms who died in childbirth. That was how much pain you were in.

“Will!” you called and he looked up at you gesturing for him to come back. He rushed to your side and you grabbed his hand again, tears running down your face. “Stay here,” you whispered and he nodded.

“I’ll stay.”

“One more push!” You took a deep breath and then suddenly it was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. You collapsed from exhaustion and let out a sigh, breathing heavily. 

“It’s a girl,” your doctor said and you laughed. You knew that but either way you were happy to hear it. The doctor walked over to your side and put her in your arms. You let out a gasp as you saw your daughter for the first time and the tears just kept coming.

“She’s gorgeous,” you whispered.

“She looks like you,” Will said, a dry laugh escaping his lips. You leaned into Will’s side and started to play with her hands even as she cried.

“Maybe we can have sex again,” you whispered and he laughed, wiping the tears from his eyes and yours.

“We’ll wait on that conversation.”

“I agree.”

[bisluthq]

He’s in Lena’s movie and that’s a comedyish thing isn’t it? // Yeah, it's supposed to be a comedy, but let's wait for this shit

I mean it’s a Lena style comedy which… um… is not exactly my taste lmao like I don’t really get her humor.

Never ever found Girls funny but a lot of people did I guess?

[monicaexol]

Till Death Do Us Part

Genre: Mystery / Comedyish

Pairing: Sehun x Reader (EXO x Reader)

Synopsis: Love bounds people together in peace and harmony. You had found your heaven in his arms, your happiness in the soothing beats of his heart and your comfort in the warmth of his chest. But what you never expected to find, was hell ...

Part 1

Dark clouds crack in the sky and moonlight to trickles down into the fog. Sehun draws a last puff, watching his cloud of smoke mix with the mist before snapping his cigarette in two and dropping it to the ground. He sighs while loosening his tie, looking down at the hopeless cigarette, it’s red fire still ignited.

The suited businessman makes sure to crush the still lit bud under his heel, only then does he pull open his car door and heftily throw his suitcase onto the passenger seat. And just as he does, vibrations tumble down his thigh, sending jolts of shock around his body. His hand immediately jumps to locate his phone and he shakes off the timid surprise while typing in his password.

And there you were, a smile on your face, red rose in your hair. Warmth rises in Sehun’s chest the moment your face appears on his screen, albeit covered with a couple of apps. A smile crawls to his lips as he recalls the moment he told you that you were his homescreen because that’s exactly what you felt like, home. The way your eyes had gleamed with admiration was pure and innocent, the reasons you were different to this world. Different to the others.

He recieved a notification, ‘You have 1 missed call’ “Did Junmyeon Hyung change his number again?” Sehun mumbles while scrolling through his call log, they were nothing but an unfamiliar line of numbers. He sits up in his seat, one hand adjusts his rear view mirror while the other sits on his steering wheel. There is a low hum from his car, the engine revs and just as he is about to pull out, his phone rings once again.

Sehun grabs the annoying machine and presses ‘answer’ before stuffing it between his shoulder and ear, “Hello?” Cars zoom on the road, smudges of different shapes took over his windows and he rubbed a hand down the glass to clarify his view. “I said hello?” Sehun’s lips pull into a tight line. He takes the phone into his hand, contemplating on just ending the call.

“Hyung, you there?” Perhaps this wasn’t Junmyeon. ‘Stupid prank callers. Kids these days really have nothing better to do.’

“Awful weather, isn’t it?” The sudden voice took him by surprise, Sehun clears his throat, “May I know who this is?” There is a laugh from the other side, a deep timbre. Sehun finds it strange but somehow intriguing enough to reach and turn down his radio. “Oh don’t worry about that just yet. Tell me, how did the meeting go?” His soft brows draw together and he licks his lips in slight confusion. He wasn’t up for pranks, not tonight.

“Who are you? Look Junmyeon Hyung, if this is some sort of joke then knock it off. I’ve had a rough day so you and Jongin better shut it.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll tell everyone about your weird infatuation with-“

“We have your wife, Mr Oh. And we suggest you follow our saying, if you want her back alive, that is.”

Today was not a good day to test Sehun’s temper, his hands tighten around the wheel, car picking up it’s speed. The world around him faded into nothing but flashes of colour, “How about you shut the fuck up. I don’t know who you are and-“ The man groans loudly, a kind of ferocious growl which stopped Sehun mid sentence. “Bring us the million dollars you have in your stupid suitcase or we’ll bring you your wife’s dead body.”

Had he not been right in the middle of the road, Sehun would’ve stopped in his very tracks. For a moment, silence struck his eardrums in the loudest way possible. He blinks rapidly, unable to distinguish the fear in his eyes from the mist that took over the city. From this second on, everything was a blur. He felt the sweat beads form on his forehead, rolling down and tickling his neck.

Sehun gulps, “H-how do you know?”

Footsteps, so agitatingly loud, echoed in the place where this man was. And wherever it was, it couldn’t be small, not when his every annoying breath regurgitated off the walls, Sehun thought. He hums, low, deep and threateningly into Sehun’s ear. “Interesting question, so does your wife know about your ‘business’ meetings?”

He blinks away the thought and finds a way off the main road, onto a narrow part away trail that took him into a smaller, probably highly unsafe secluded area with a line of unruly broken shelters tendering the pavements. “Please, don’t tell her anything.” Sehun rolls down a window, the lack of oxygen was causing his throat to close up, he could barely properly choke any words out.

The kidnapper taps his foot before running a hand through his hair, “Your secret is safe with us, just bring us the money and take her away.” Sehun hesitates, thinking of the many, many scenarios that could take place, “B-but how can I trust you?”

The tapping of his feet stop, and Sehun pictured a hefty tall man with a stern angered look on his face, yet something about that image didn’t make him tremble. Instead, he pushes his car seat back and rests an elbow onto the rolled down part of the window, “In fact, how can I be sure that none of this is a scam?” He asks with a twitch of his brow.

“We don’t ask for trust, we ask for money. Don’t be shocked when the police call you to collect her body tomorrow morning.” Sehun bites his bottom lip, and turns to glance at the suitcase sitting on his backseat.

“You either bring us the money, or we kill her. It’s simple.” He pulls down his sleeve and wipes the sweat on his forehead. While glancing into his mirror, Sehun notices just how red rimmed his eyes are.

“I’ll bring you the million dollars.”

Sehun pauses, thick eyebrows creasing. The man smiles, nodding briefly at his accomplices who began shuffling to begin the next stages of their plan.

“And then you can kill her.”

The smile on Chanyeol’s face faltered, he blinks slowly, unsure if he heard correctly. “Y-you want us to kill her?”

There is a small silence in which a small smile meddles it’s way back to Sehun’s lips. Sehun hums, whilst reaching into his pocket to grab his pack of cigarettes. “You heard me, kill the woman.”

After successfully lighting a cigarette, Sehun draws a long puff, taking glimpses of the moon hiding behind the broken clouds. “Mr Oh, do you still think this is some kind of joke?” Chanyeol walks towards a seat, and his team catch the look of strange shock written in his features. He scrunches his nose, demolishing his look of seriousness for a mere second, but then those heavy brows drew back together and he seemed like a different man.

Sehun rests his head on his seat, “You want the money, and I want her dead. This is a perfect win-win situation.” Baekhyun’s eyes widen once he hears these words, “What the fuck are we supposed to do now?” He mouths, eyes so wide they could tear apart. Chanyeol blinks back rapidly, and looks around the hall to see the look of bewilderment on his crew’s faces. He takes a deep breath,

“It’s a deal. The alleyway behind the Seoul tattoo parlour, it has a broken semi-flashing sign, cracked window and a huge poster of a naked she-male, can’t miss it. Be there in two hours, bring the money. And listen, don’t try anything smart.”

Chanyeol cuts the call and drops the phone. From the corner of his eyes, he takes note of a panicky Baekhyun pacing from one side of the hall to the other, quietly freaking out, “Oh my God, we’re going to jail, we’re going to jail, we’re going to jail, we’re going to jail.”

“Well, we didn’t expect that.” Minseok mutters, crouching down to pick up the phone, it’s screen now permanently damaged with a clean crack. “You didn’t have to make a deal with him!” Baekhyun yells, turning on his heels to point a finger at the already trembling taller male. Chanyeol shakes his head and throws his hands up, “Well what the fuck was I supposed to do? Should I have said ‘Sorry, we’re not real kidnappers, we weren’t ever going to harm your wife, we just want money.’ ?!”

You groaned, turning on the couch with your head digging into a pillow. “Will you dumbasses shut up? You’ll wake her up and then it’ll be an issue if she starts screaming.” Kyungsoo whispers, walking over to flick Baekhyun on the forehead. The male muttered something under his breath and sat on the other couch, hands pressed desperately against his face. “We’re going to jail.” He whispers, holding back a wail and Minseok rolls his eyes.

Jongdae finally removes his headset, completely unbeknownst of the chaotic yet somehow stoic position that the gang had fallen into. “I’m tracking his car, he’s still far. Side note, it was hard to break into the details of his laptop, but from what I could see, that man has been watching some questionable videos.” Chanyeol nods, Sehun was definitely a questionable human being, one that would go as far as having his own wife killed. But why?

“Did you access his bank details? That’s the important part.” Minseok asks, “Of course I did and- YAH! Did you break my phone?!” You jolt awake at the sudden shout, eyes blinking till the swirling ceiling above you came to a standstill. Kyungsoo slaps a hand onto his forehead and Baekhyun finally begins wailing out loud.

You blink, and then suddenly, a face with two large smiling eyes appears above you. “Good morning.” He says, upside down face dangling inches from yours and you scream while automatically kicking away the blanket that you had been tucked into.

Kyungsoo slides the hand that was on his forehead down his face and Chanyeol panicks, not only because you were now throwing fists, but also because Kyungsoo was giving him evils like never before.

“I didn’t mean to scare her!” Chanyeol yells over your nonsensical shouting. He stumbles, holding a pillow against his chest to protect himself from your feeble punches, “Who are you?! Where am I?! What do you want?! I DEMAND AN ANSWER!” You screeched at the top of your lungs and Minseok covered his ears in hopes that you would just disappear.

Chanyeol attempts to hold your arms but it only fuelled your anger further and you began using your skills from your karate lessons that you took almost seven years ago. They were weak, you admitted. But anything was good enough right now.

Kyungsoo seemingly enjoyed the whole scene, it was nice watching Chanyeol get beaten up rather than having to do it himself for once.

Your mind was floating with a rush of fear, confusion and adrenaline. You had never seen these men before, nor did you think anyone would have a strong motive to attack you.

When you had finally ran out of strength, you held up a vase from the table for self defence, “Don’t come near or I’ll hit you with it.” You threatened, trying to bring as much wrath into your voice as possible. Although, you were more than sure you sounded like a wounded child crying for help, it was hopeless.

Chanyeol lifts his hands as if surrendering, “Look, there’s something you need to know. Your husband-“

“What did you do to him? Is he okay? Where did- Sehun?! Sehun! Babe, are you here?!” Silence sat among the members, not one of them knew how to properly respond to your question.

It irked you how none of them attempted to answer your questions. Why you? What had you ever done? Your blood boiled, heat caused your own skin to crawl uncomfortably and you wished this wasn’t happening.

Chanyeol pushes his hair back revealing a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead. His ears were ripe red, and you glanced all over his concerned features picturing the worst image in your mind, “No, you didn’t kill him, did you?” You ask softly, the tremble in your voice obvious.

Minseok takes one look at your water brimmed eyes and was almost sure that perhaps for once, he felt sympathy for one of their victims.

“Actually,” Chanyeol begins, “He wants us to kill you.”

The vase clatters to the ground.

Baekhyun’s whimpering increases, “But I don’t wanna go to jail.”

[dietraumerei]

Hi I finally started catching up with Dragula and holy shit Dracmorda and Swanthula got them some COIN. This is excellent cheap comedyish horror and I am so happy with everyone’s wild-ass drag and painfully obvious acting.

Also Landon Cider could step on my neck and I would thank him but I think we all could have guessed that going in.