#coded communications in the dean-cas unit

[shallowseeker]

What do you mean when you reference Dean's missing ultimatums

Oh, this was an idea generated from the lovely @somnatine talking about how the prayer scene in The Trap felt a bit unfairly weighted, and we were trying to suss out why.

They're not really ultimatums so much as they are an open discussion of needs. It's inside this monstrosity (I've grabbed a portion of it below)

But the gist is: Dean and Cas are having a coded, covert conversation through which Cas asks for several things he needs to be able to stay in the relationship:

(1) I need forgiveness. (2) I need you to try to be less angry with me. (3) I need you to ask me to stay.

Dean's prayer is about answering all these points.

But Dean doesn't get to verbalize his needs in the relationship, which would likely be things Cas can't do right now.

(Cas can't come clean about the deal, he can't promise to stay with Dean the way Dean wants him to. Lying to him now...Dean would see right through him. What he CAN do is use his strength. Thus, he takes on The Mark.)

From the monstrosity:

///

Do you still want me? Then, what do you need from me?

In Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven and The Trap, they're not trying to fix everything or even work through their grief about Jack yet. It's still too painful.

What they seem to be trying to puzzle out is, "Do you still want me?" Dean is bitter that Cas left when he still needed him, and Cas is bitter that Dean didn't verbalize wanting him. In this way, they do succeed in telling each other what they need.

Dean is signaling very strongly that he wants Cas to stay and work things out, and Cas is telling Dean his basic needs to be able to stay:

Cas tells Dean this: You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me. (If you want me to stay, I need forgiveness. I need you to try to be less angry with me. I need you to ask me to stay.)

Given all that's happened between them, I think it's okay for Cas to communicate his needs and boundaries, regardless of what happened before. It's up to Dean whether or not the ask is something he's willing to give:

And when Dean says:

DEAN: I know you're sorry, Cas. About Bel, about Mom.

CAS: I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it.

It's also a covert conversation. Bel is the stand-in for Jack. Cas is saying, in no uncertain terms, that although Dean can't talk about it right now, they're going to have to talk about it. Cas needs to be able to talk about it.

Maybe not now, but later, in private, where it's quiet and unseen. They will be talking and grieving about Jack if Cas comes back to the partnership.

Those're the terms. (They're reasonable.)

Aside/// I think the interaction in The Gamblers hints that this indeed happened, later. I don't think this kind of easy acceptance of a soulless Jack back into their lives could happen in a conversationless vacuum:

GIF by shirtlesssammy

GIF by shirtlesssammy

GIF by shirtlesssammy

////

Renegotiating the relationship

Anyway, Dean's prayer is his acceptance of the relationship terms. He specifically answers all of Cas's requests. He tells Cas he should've stopped him from leaving. He wanted to stop him. He admits his own wrongs and part in the separation. He gives Cas the forgiveness he specifically asked for, he contextualizes his anger, and he says he's sorry (this last bit...is about Jack).

Now, the only issue with this apology is that it's not about Dean's terms in the relationship.

(That's okay, I think, because this part is about Cas. Dean's part would overload the prayer and take the focus off Cas, which is Dean's focus for this moment.)

But why are Dean's needs missing later?

And why does Cas cut him off?

Dean does want Cas to stay, and Cas gets that message pretty loud and clear, but Dean's other needs are missing. Dean's prayer is answering all of Cas's terms. I think that's what @somnatine means when they say that The Trap and Despair feel incomplete.

Dean starts to have his own say at the very end of The Trap, but Cas shuts it down.

It feels one-sided and incomplete. Why is that?

GIF by inacatastrophicmind

Because Cas is sidestepping Dean's terms.

He doesn't want to hear Dean's needs, because he instinctually is afraid the answer may be that Dean simply needs him. It's a callback to season 8, "Cas, I need you."

And now, because of the Empty deal, Dean can't have him.

Even the words of affirmation are unbearable and dangerous. Cas has to shut it down (script only):

DEAN: It's-- amazing. You did-- amazing.

CAS: They're still looking for me. We should hurry-- Cas trudges to the Rift. On Dean.

DEAN: Cas. I--

CAS: Dean. You don't have to.

Cas is now aware that they can be there for each other, but they can't have each other. All they can hope for right now is to simply be, not act.

The best Cas can do for Dean is to try to stay with Dean (it's the one thing Dean had actually asked in his renegotiation of their relationship).

All Cas can do is try to provide support through actions. So, Cas throws his weight and strength around as a stand-in for the emotional support he cannot give without triggering his deal.

((Aside/// I think it’s also important to consider that Cas’s emotional distance and lone-wolfism in s14 may have already been inflamed by the deal, handcuffing him emotionally from the start.))

So, Cas takes on the Mark:

Dean watches, nervous-- as Cas pulls out a knife.

DEAN: Cas, you sure? Cas solemnly nods-- cuts himself, bleeds into the bowl.

CAS: You've already taken the Mark. You can't take it again. I can. (then) It's the only way.

Cas is effectively saying, "I can't give you what you need, but let me do this for you."

///

So after all this, do they want to be together? Do they still want each other? Do they accept each other's renegotiated relationship terms?

After a trial separation, they find out the answer to those questions: they do.

That's all they managed to figure out in 15x09, really. Which is healthy; one step at a time. My conjecture is that even more conversations took place behind closed doors (above).

Next would come the actual grieving together part, which, if Chuck's future vision is to be believed, seemed to have gone okay in the Alt timeline for a little while...

[spnwin-reader]

Feeling closer to my father through work

JO HARVELLE: “I was still in pigtails when my dad died but, I remember him coming home from a hunt. He’d burst through that door like he was Steve McQueen or something. And he’d sweep me up in his arms, and I’d breathe in that old leather jacket of his. And my mom who was sour and pissed from the minute he left she started smiling again…we were a family. You wanna know why I want to do the job? For him. It's my way of being close to him. Now tell me, what's wrong with that? SPN prime 2x06

///

John is giddy to find out more about his dad's legacy.

He remembers that Henry was a sweet papa ("Pops") who tucked him in at night, who told him not to be afraid of monsters under the bed, and bought him a music box that played "As Time Goes By" from Casablanca (1942). I would venture that this is probably a Millie-Henry song, too.

John and Henry are united by music, the way that John and Dean are united by music, and John and Mary are united by music. There's also the fact that Dean communicates his personal feelings to Cas through the John-Mary music selection Led Zeppelin (SPNprime The Future 12x19), and how Dean and Jack are united by "old" music (SPNprime Byzantium 14x08, and Don't Go Into the Woods 14x16).

///

In SPN prime, John kept Henry's old journal with his initials, using it as his own journal in order to feel closer to him.

John misses him so.

Look how excited he is at the prospect of hunting and learning more about him:

JOHN: H.E.W. Henry Eric Winchester. This is my dad's locker. We had a lock just like it on our shed. The combination's my birthday.

Henry's old coat hangs here:

Symbolically, it feels like a "working class" Millie-and-John-Dean-coded jacket on the right...and a "mid-level work" Henry-Cas-coded coat on the left.

(We also see the WATCH AND READING GLASSES for Henry, because he's a "loremaster/reader" and he's untethered and lost to time.)

Indeed, the photograph is set up this way, too, with Millie on the left and Henry on the right.

///

And the loss is still painful for John, but knowing that Henry loved him helps John see more clearly, feel more firmly rooted in place: the truth was right here.

It's like the first stitches over an open wound.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Thinking About How This Wasn't Actually a Denial

But was it self preservation?

The year was 2013 and rather than a denial, Jensen said "Don't ruin it for everybody now."

What was the fan 'ruining' for everybody? The Con? or something else? So if I was a tinhatter - and sometimes I am - I might think about other tv shows from the past that were covertly queer and how they handled the question, were TV shows 'out'?

Mainstream shows like Bewitched, you know, shows that are so clearly straight, you can tell because... well. ... they never technically used the word 'gay'. ... witches honor

SPN Film Studies is Back in Session! Join Under the Cut for more on supernatural & the story about how Bewitched! came out of the Broom Closet

Bewitched aired from 1964-72, it's so old the first season was in B&W. The show starred Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha, the strange housewife with a stranger secret. Her husband, Darrin, unwittingly married into the whole witchy family, from the now drag icon Agnes Moorehead's Endora with her open marriage, to the unmarried and batty Aunt Clara (Marion Lorne who played the mother in Hitchcock's heavily gay coded 'Strangers on a Train'), to the extremely coded Uncle Arthur (gay actor Paul Lynde). (We can't know for sure, but it seems at least 4 members of the cast were gay themselves.) The core premise of the show involves Samantha balancing who she really is with repressing that self for the safety and comfort of her family.

Samantha and her husband keep her [ahem] 'queer' nature a secret which gets harder on Samantha when she has to tell her daughter to live the same way, “I know what fun it is to be a part of the magical life ... to have so much at your fingertips. But we’re living in a world that’s just not ready for people like us, and I’m afraid they may never be. So you’re going to have to learn when you can use your witchcraft and when you can’t.���

There are plenty of generic 60s wacky hijinks but there are also whole episodes metaphorically about repression being harmful, episodes where characters asked if another was a 'thespian', episodes where Darrin was queercoded while under a spell, episodes about representation & bad stereotyping in media, and even two episodes where witches discussed whether it was time for witches to come out to the mortals, (whether mortals could accept that they were just nice normal people trying to live their lives like everybody else - or not - and would just freak out and kill them again).

When it came time to recast Dick York's Darrin with a new 2nd lead, Elizabeth and her husband, William Asher, knowingly cast the gay Dick Sergeant. (Although he wasn't out publicly at the time.) Then, when Sergeant came out in '91, Montgomery supported him and the two served together as the grand marshals of the Hollywood pride parade.

Dick Sargent expressed in the 90s what he would want in a Bewitched reunion episode: for Darrin to meet another like couple, a witch and a mortal who are married, and another, and another, and end up forming a whole community and support group, finding out that it was never so uncommon after all, that it was actually "about 10% of the population." The two would march in the first mortals and witches pride parade, saying they should have come out years ago.

In '94, Montgomery had this to say about the queer themes of the show, “Don't think that didn't enter our minds at the time. We talked about it on the set, that this was about people not being allowed to be what they really are. If you think about it, Bewitched is about repression in general and all the frustration and trouble it can cause. It was a neat message to get across to people at that time in a subtle way.” (x)

Interviewer: Are you concerned that your involvement in the gay-pride parade will lead people to believe you're a lesbian?

"[Laughing] I'm really not worried about that. There are bigger things to worry about. Like the presidential election and finding a cure for AIDS. I did the parade in support of Dick. I mean, in the end, didn't we all?" (x) (Montgomery was also one of the first celebrity allies to fight for LGBTQ rights and support HIV/AIDS-related fundraisers.)

So did they talk about it at the time? No. You can bet they didn't speak about it publicly. What would have happened if a fan, publicly, had asked Elizabeth, William, or Dick about the show's queer allegory content? This was a time when being gay was a literal felony. They would have had to have lied or risked losing the show, their careers, and possibly subjecting themselves to violence.

Now. back to Jensen and the Schrodinger's long con:

This was in 2013 - The same year that the Supreme Court of the United States struck down a federal ban on gay marriage. You certainly couldn't call homosexuality illegal in the US at that time. It's the same year that Dabb and Sgriccia spoke about the Aaron moment on the DVD and whether there's 'this potential for love in all places' for Dean. Of course Jensen said this about the very same scene: "But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

I'm reminded of 2012 when Ben Edlund stepped in about a Destiel question at comic con, pretending it was some freaky thing that fans had made up even though he'd already written and directed TMWWBK, which had already aired.

Jensen: “What’s Destiel?” Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

Or the next year for season 9 when Jensen said “I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” EVEN THOUGH- that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and Misha (or both of them?) was told to “play him like a jilted lover”

Or Jensen's knowing bromance smile in 2015

I think recent events (cough spn gate) have made clear that the network and many viewers were still uncomfortable with CAS being gay in 2020, deleting even familial mentions of Cas from the finale episodes once he was revealed to be not only gay but also in love with Dean. (x) (x) (x) Can you imagine then what Warner Brothers would have said to an acknowledge bisexual Dean Winchester in 2013? Granted, there was no Trump election, but legitimate, could that have been the end of the show? Or the Russian and Conservative US viewership? Is it possible that Jensen would have feared so?

Is it possible that Jensen had a more personal reason for a knee jerk defensive response?

So was Jensen covering in 2013? Well. This happened 5 years later in 2018:

That hostile "? No." came even though Misha confirmed that he and Jensen had discussed Destiel by that point. Granted, discussing Destiel as a concept and accepting Dean being inherently bisexual are two very different things - Cas is GN after all - still, less than encouraging.

I may never get over the jumps back and forth that Jensen did. At this point I think there's no denying that a lot of SPN's queer content was on purpose, even as writers and actors were telling fans and network execs otherwise. Yet when each person involved was brought in? that question haunts me at night. I have gone off before about the timeline in my pursuit of whether Jensen was Ben Hur'd (x) and, if so, for how long. I'm sure many in this fandom have so much to add.

In the meantime we'll just have to cherish this moment from 2019:

Interviewer: 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you’re most excited to tackle with your character this final season.’ Jensen: “Cas. Just like a full football form tackle.”

Bewitched references in SPN:

2.05 - Dean: Well, it looks like he can't work his mojo just by twitching his nose, he's gotta use verbal commands.

2.20 - Dean says Barbara Eden was hotter than Elizabeth Montgomery - sigh - Dean.

7.05 - Dean thinks a husband has no idea his wife is a witch, and refers to him as Darrin. Dean also indicates he likes the first Darrin better. - (I guess I can't make a comment about how much TV Dean watched as a kid if I get all of his references and also haven't saved the world.)

14.03 - Jules refers to the witch as 'Brunhilde' - this is a minor character in bewitched but more so from mythology and likely referred to the cartoon witch from WB cartoons - the stereotypical witch that faced bugs bunny with the green skin and straw hair.

let me know if you have any to add. Stay Witchy ✌

[naruhearts]

OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.

Got back from Washington late last night!

Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)

Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here: 

Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.

I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?

Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones

Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.

I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text. 

The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).

I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.

These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.

Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.

I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.

Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.

Originally posted by incatastrophicmind

They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.

As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—

Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.

Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.

I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer

[livinginlandmarketing]

Erika Chabarin enjoys an afternoon of bowling with her friends at Bowlero in Torrance on Tuesday April 6, 2021.(Photo by Axel Koester, Contributing Photographer)

Is California spiking the football before the game is truly over?

Gov. Gavin Newsom’s declaration that the coronavirus outbreak could largely be over in his state by June sent local leaders, public health experts, doctors and business owners scrambling for thoughtful answers to that question.

Some questioned the wisdom of of the state’s sudden shift into the recovery fast lane, given the significant gains still needed to attain vaccination goals and the gradually slowing declines in caseload growth. Others, however, were confident that this was the appropriate decision for a state eager to break free of the fiercely debated coronavirus restrictions and the economic turmoil triggered by a bitter year of pandemic.

Gov. Gavin Newsom greets people as they wait in line to receive COVID-19 vaccines at 16th Street Seventh Day Adventist Church in San Bernardino on Friday, April 2, 2021. (Photo by Watchara Phomicinda, The Press-Enterprise/SCNG)

Soon after Newsom declared on Tuesday, April 6, that the state’s color-coded recovery tiers would be erased come June 15 — a mere 10 weeks from now and five days before summer’s dawn — Los Angeles County Health Director Barbara Ferrer held her own press conference Wednesday, hosting a session that replaced Newsom’s grin with reminders grim.

The governor spoke of  “resuming everyday activities,” wide-open businesses and “common-sense risk-reduction measures.” In response, Ferrer raised the specter of the “double mutant,” potential super-spreaders and the enduring sting of winter’s deadly surge.

Iris Schmalix gets a bandage after receiving a vaccination shot at the COVID-19 Vaccination Center at California State University, Los Angeles in Los Angeles, Wed, Apr. 7, 2021. (Photo by Hans Gutknecht, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)

“I don’t think anybody knows exactly what reopening looks like on June 15, except that with a lot more people vaccinated many restrictions on some of our activities will no longer be necessary,” Ferrer said.

Ferrer’s words were not stripped of optimism, however. Ferrer said L.A. County would follow the state’s guidelines, including the continuation of a mask mandate and social distancing, especially in schools and other settings with children. And she said she sincerely hopes the statistics — and the vaccine supply — will boost the governor’s buoyant vision.

“I think it’s completely possible if we move forward with this collective will to take care of each other from now until the time we get more and more people vaccinated,” Ferrer said Wednesday. “That’s what gives us that extra level of protection that allows us to get beyond the blueprint.”

Barbara Ferrer, Director of Public Health for Los Angeles County, at a press conference Friday, March 6, 2020. (Photo by David Crane, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)

In Orange County, experts and officials aligned optimistically — but with their own caveats.

“I do believe that we’ll be in a much better place June 15 than we are even today,” said UC Irvine epidemiologist Andrew Noymer.

But eight weeks still feels like a long ways away to the Irvine professor.

“These things can kind of turn around,” Noymer said, noting that Michigan has seen an unnerving uptick in cases in the past month.

Restaurant, brewery and distillery owners received news that they will be able to fully open by June 15. They’re making plans to get operations a bit more back to normal. Wil Dee, owner of Haven Craft Kitchen + Bar in Orange, watches as California Governor Gavin Newsom speaks during a noontime coronavirus update in which guidelines to reopen dine-in restaurants were addressed, on Tuesday, May 12, 2020. (Photo by Mark Rightmire, Orange County Register/SCNG)

Dr. Roger Lewis, who leads the team at the L.A. County Department of Health Services that forecasts hospitalization demand based on coronavirus case rates, said that local modelling shows June 15 as a reasonable target for complete reopening given what they are seeing in the local models.

“Our models show that the number of patients hospitalized with COVID-19 is steadily going down and in fact we’re seeing some of the people hospitalized with positive COVID-19 are hospitalized for other reasons.”

Key numbers have now returned to levels last seen in March 2020 before the first surge in patients in April.

As of Wednesday, 572 people with COVID-19 were admitted to L.A. County hospitals with 136 in intensive care units. In Orange County, 114 were hospitalized with 29 in ICU. In Riverside, 106 were in hospitals with 20 in ICU. And in San Bernardino 103 COVID-19 patients were in hospitals with 25 in ICU.

Adjusted coronavirus case rates this week in L.A. County were 3.1 per 100,000 people. In Orange County it was 3.0 per 100,000. In Riverside it was 3.5 per 100,000. And in San Bernardino it was 3.4 per 100,000. To advance to the yellow tier, adjusted case rates must fall below 2.0 per 100,000 people.

Still, Ferrer cautioned that rates of declines have levelled off significantly. And she worried that more gatherings in the days ahead could kickstart increases in those pivotal categories.

At the top of mind for Lewis and many others are the growing number of variants, including a “double mutant” recently found by Stanford University researchers that could be especially virulent.

“While we have essentially informally good news locally, we would be foolish not to be paying very close attention to what’s happening in Michigan and other states,” Lewis said.

National public health officials have been watching increases in caseloads in Florida, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, too.

“We don’t live in a bubble here in L.A. County,” Ferrer said. “In order for us to hold on to the gains we’ve made, we have to be more diligent not less diligent.”

The June 15 deadline is ultimately contingent on two factors outlined by state health officials Tuesday: Case rates remaining low and vaccine rates increasing.

Statewide, more than 20 million vaccine doses have now been administered, at least 4 million of them in the state’s hardest-hit communities based on the Healthy Places Index.

For Dr. Lawrence Sher, an allergist-immunologist who leads the Palos Verdes Medical Group, said assessing the vaccine stats make him believe June 15 could be premature.

“Everybody is, of course, weary and looking forward to reopening. And the state is looking forward to that for multiple reasons,” he said.

Chilled syringes with the Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine wait for use at drive through vaccination site at Santa Ana College in Santa Ana, CA on Wednesday, February 17, 2021. (Photo by Paul Bersebach, Orange County Register/SCNG)

But he added: “Until we get children and adolescents vaccinated as well, we still can have problems down the road. We are still being a little more aggressive than most of us would like them to be.”

A key factor: Southern California’s millions of minors.

So far, the Pfizer vaccine is approved for residents 16 and older. Both the Moderna and Johnson & Johnson require recipients be at least 18. Drug makers, however, are currently in trials with children as young as six months old.

Sher expects it will take another few months for children 12 and older to be approved. Children younger may require six months or more, he said.

“They (drug companies) are all trying to go younger and younger,” Sher said. “They just have to get the approval and inoculate as many people as possible to prevent spread and mutations of the variants.”

The ultimate question: What constitutes herd immunity? Experts do not agree, Sher said.

Most place it anywhere from 70 to 80% vaccinated — or higher. It really depends, he said, on how effective the current vaccines prove to be at warding off variants. (A hint: So far they have fared pretty well, including against the U.K. variant, Sher said.)

Gov. Gavin Newsom greets people as they wait in line to receive COVID-19 vaccines at 16th Street Seventh Day Adventist Church in San Bernardino on Friday, April 2, 2021. (Photo by Watchara Phomicinda, The Press-Enterprise/SCNG)

Moving into the new green tier on June 15 “depends on us,” said Brandon Brown, a UC Riverside associate professor with a background in epidemiology.

“We need high vaccination rates, people practicing masking and physical distancing, we need to do better with (hard-to-reach) populations, and importantly keeping a close watch on the data to track the number of hospitalizations and cases including the new variants,” he wrote by email.

Brown worried about the summer break bringing increased travel and more people easing up on  prevention measures, some of which became habits back when caseloads were soaring.

“Masking may need to be our ‘new normal,’ even after June 15,” Brown said.

Much progress has been made in getting vaccines into the field, with about 40% of the state’s adults getting at least one dose, said Bernadette Boden-Albala, dean of UC Irvine’s School of Public Health.

But she’d like to see that number at least doubled before people go back to a pre-pandemic “normal.”

Some of the groups already eligible for the vaccine — seniors, people with underlying health conditions and public-facing workers — were highly motivated to get inoculated because they face higher risks from infection, Boden-Albala said.

Fear of death can be a powerful motivator. It generally doesn’t resonate, however, among younger residents.

“What is concerning is that we don’t really understand the behavior in terms of vaccine uptake of young people,” she said

Also: “Vaccine hesitancy is going to rear its ugly head,” she added.

Noymer and Boden-Albala both worried that the end of the state’s tier system will make it harder to fine-tune the response based on what’s happening in each county.

However, Richard Carpiano, a public health scientist and medical sociologist at UC Riverside, doesn’t foresee the same problems.

Eliminating state tiers throws decision-making to the counties, which could decide to keep more things closed if their numbers go in the wrong direction, Carpiano said.

“The trick is, to make that work, there needs to be more detail around what the markers will be, what to be aiming for,” he said.

Alice Kao, owner of Sender One Climbing, Yoga, Fitness and Sender City. Kao, like so many others, have been deeply impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. (Photo by Chuck Bennett, Contributing Photographer)

Alice Kao, who owns Sender One Climbing, an indoor gym with a location near LAX airport, called the June 15 reopening date a hopeful sign.

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Coronavirus tracker: California surpassed 20 million vaccinations administered as of April 6

Rufus Du Sol to play Banc of California Stadium after most coronavirus restrictions lift

But real recovery for business owners, jolted by the gut-punch delivered by months of restrictive health orders and the subsequent shutdowns, still seems far off.

“I celebrate that this hurdle to our business recovering will be behind us soon, but this is not the only hurdle,” Kao said. “Whether a business is able to fully recover will depend on a lot more factors than whether the government says we can. Going back to the way we were is going to take time.”

Kiran Savage-Sangwan, executive director of the California Pan Ethnic Health Network, which represents the interests of minorities, said their biggest concern was maintaining a clear focus on equity as the vaccine is rolled out.

While progress has been made on the unsettling gaps detected in the initial months, revealing that communities of color were bearing an inequitable burden, Savage-Sangwan said more needs to be done to reach those hardest him.

“The larger question is who has access to the vaccine supply and is it equitably distributed,” she said.

“The state has made great strides in that area but when we look at the data it’s clear we have to do more.”

Staff writers Jeff Horseman and Ryan Carter contributed to this report.

Sign up for The Localist, our daily email newsletter with handpicked stories relevant to where you live. Subscribe here.

-on April 07, 2021 at 09:48AM by David Rosenfeld, Alicia Robinson

[godstiel-coded]

Okay so! To clarify a few things, if you reblogged with tags, I saw them, I am on mobile yes I checked each reblog individually <3 so by semipopular demand here's more, I want Claire and Jack as Healthy hunter siblings and Sam and Dean parallels bc we got so many good cas and dean parallels for romance and in Behavior that works since Jack takes after Cas but together theyre Siblings and its sam and dean parallels also I think I forgot to mention my qualifications : was raised by lesbians

~Claire, like most hunters, didn't get much time to be a Kid. However, her secret is its not public school or her cozy home with Donna and Jody that makes her feel hunter-brand Normal, its babysitting Jack. With Jacks powers it's pretty low risk of him being harmed so she gets to be a fun big sister and play tag and hide and seek and teach him how to braid hair with no one else around

~Claire is a Dean parallel and despite Jack taking strongly after Cas I propose Jack as a Sam parallel

~Claire is tied to Good/Angels through the Jimmy/Cas thing and Jack is tied to Evil through the Lucifer thing so Michael Sword/Bloodfreak parallels but the Huge difference is despite growing up in a Hunters world, the cycle of abuse stopped and the unhealthy codependency isn't there and the two of them aren't always together but when they are you can just know

~ Bitch/Jerk parallels too

~Jack was 4 when he first said "Sonnuva bick" the censoring is coincidental

~Cas is metaphorically a Father and a Wife, while Dean is metaphorically a Mother and a Husband and this causes Jacks fundamental misunderstandings of Het culture at its roots

~Dean gets to play catch with him and go on walks with Miracle and go to his first elementary "concert" and Cas has the best nonverbal communication with him and they develop a sort of understanding that minimizes (does not negate) magic related issues

~Maybe part of Jacks grace and part of Cas' grace are stored, in Deans wedding ring and in Cas' necklace maybe? To keep it there as a failsafe but dampen it, allowing for visual aging and such

~Jack endears Everyone which is good because it takes a village to raise a Nephilim toddler

~Jack is Very intune with the world around him but he's still Autistic coded and socially awkwars dont worry, but he's not afraid of animals literally any at school he carries the Bees outside while his peers scream

~Claire is a Lesbian and Jack is a toddler with no concept of what a straight is which means sometimes maybe she joins them for the family-friendly pride events with Jo and Charlie and/or Jody and Donna that maybe Dean isn't Quite ready for

~Its so important to me that you understand Jack has never met a NT cishet and thats the basis of why he seems "off" to them and not his superpowers or mildly concerning vocabulary, Karens are wondering why he wears jojo siwa bows and hates physical contact with strangers and totally miss the time he scraped his knee and every flower in a 20 mile radius bloomed within an hour

~He learns how to play a recorder in late elementary and they try to be supportive but he is entirely awful at it

~Jack accidentally united the family throug means of giving everyone reasons to visit and call that Dean can't brush off

~Jack is their pride and joy okay but he still gets insecure sometimes but he's a brave kid and of you talk him through something he does really good with it

~Massive sweet tooth!! He loves candies and he was potty trained via m&m rewards

~he doesn't mind if they have to switch schools he gets used to it (or better yet if they Don't) but his school lunch hqs to be packed so it can be the same everyday (thinking about the rabbit shaped apple slices <3 )

~He picked up "so get this" and says it in reference to the "lore" of his pokemon cards

~he does the head tilt and also sits cross legged on all surfaces, as he gets over he sits in the way they called "pajama party" on will&grace I think

~he loves Disney!! Cas is starting to learn the words to the song and he and Dean aren't Good at singung okay they're Not theyre pitchy and gruff and half commited and Jacks voice is squeaky and he gets the lyrics wrong and they don't care not at all

~Jack has no idea Bees Actually sting because Cas' affinity to them led to keeping bee hives and not needing a suit

~Jo and Claire bond tightly bc Jo has a few extra years of independence under her belt and they're an excellent team but they are definitely why the prank wars start and hell maybe its them maybe its Gabe who knows who started it but Jack has discovered his mischief now its too late

~Hes hyperempathetic to animals and does not tolerate mistreatment of the smallest bugs even

~I was thinking in this world Sam and Eileen forge a hunters network together and when they get married instead of escaping the bad of his past by abandoning hunting or Dean he does it by taking Eileens last name, maybe Gabriel is a welcome guest to their relationship who knows, have fun with whatever floats your boat <3

~I think the opposite would hold for Dean and he and Cas, maybe Jack too (I think they'd wait til Jack was older and let him pick) all take the name Winchester

~One day, Dean breaks down and sobs because be looked in the mirror and saw a man he could be proud of and he no longer saw John or Johns control in the mirror and sometimes he still pretends he wants John back but seeing himself and seeing Sam and seeing his Son and not seeing a trace of the man who made him think he didn't deserve this happy ending is the most relieving thing ever but this time when he cries theres someone wiping his tears and a kid bringing him a carton of icecream with his grin with a missing tooth because they love him for all he is and he is free to be just that now

Okay okay this is getting long but so we are clear I can and will do this on virtually any spn topic I have Feelings about (gonna try to fix my anons today so feel free to send asks!)

Baby!Jack truthing

Disclaimer; my Jack knowledge is through Osmosis and Canon is irrelevant. Feel free to add on and don't be shy abt commenting rather than tagging <3

~He sucks at pronunciation of names and other relatively simple things but he picks up on large words he shouldn't know Too fast and says creepy things sometimes

~He calls Dean "Dee" or "Deedee" when he learns to write it takes Years to stop writing "Deen"

~he regularly says vaguely horrifying things and Cas takes it in stride So well and the PTA moms Don't

~okay this is projection but if someone says "Your mom is here" while he's in elementary he gets Terrified but its usually Eileen, or Jo, or Charlie, or Jody, or Ellen, or any other woman he knows and he gets used to it eventually. "your dad is here?" Always gets "which one?" Which results in Teachers having to give a small lesson on how a kid can have 2 dads/2 moms for the kids w no clue

~Cas being able to hear his "prayers" saves their ass in a million little ways

~Jack only sort of knows what Mom vs Dad means and doesn't really know theres a gendered connotation to it and tends to just Guess

~He calls his friends parents "(Friend)'s Dad" defaultively, appearance irrelevant

~He loves bows and dresses sometimes, also bee related clothes and cowboy related clothes as he tends to associate each adult in his life with one Specific thing

~Cas makes Dean promise not to confine Jack to primitive human gender or sexuality based norms

~When Claire ("Care") comes to visit he is Ecstatic and she can't get rid of him

~He doesnt comprehend how he is tied to Jody or Donna so its "My Jody" and "My Donna" I think Ellen might be Nana and Charlie and Jo both Aunts but I'm not totally set on that

~Jack loves to sit on Deans foot or ride piggy back style or sit on his hip

~He sits on Cas' shoulder and in his lap a lot

~LOVES dress up

~Dean picks up humming Red Neck Woman (heard it karaoke at a bar once) because of the line about the baby on her hip

~Cas and Jack listen to the worst pop ever, he's a Katy Perry (thats her name right) fan

~Jack likes Sesame Street, Octonauts, and Paw Patrol

~as part of a prank war (Claire started this one) Sam teaches Jack everyword to "The Song That Doesn't End" and everyone is paying the price

I can and Will go on so Please encourage me

[moondogball]

Alannah Myles - Alannah Myles (Atlantic, Atlantic - 7567-81956-2, 7567-81956-2 YS) CD, Album 1989

Sello: Atlantic ‎– 7567-81956-2, Atlantic ‎– 7567-81956-2 YS Formato: CD, Album País: Europe Fecha: 1989 Género: Rock, Pop Estilo: Hard Rock, Pop Rock

Still Got This Thing (C. Ward) 4:37

Love Is (C. Ward / D. Tyson) 3:40

Black Velvet (C. Ward / D. Tyson) 4:49

Rock This Joint (C. Ward) 4:02

Lover Of Mine ( A. Myles / C. Ward / D. Tyson / K, Johnson) 4:42

Kick Start My Heart (C. Waters / C. Ward / M. Stone / S. Elkhard) 3:42

If You Want To ( C. Ward / D. Tyson) 4:12

Just One Kiss (C. Ward / D. Tyson) 3:35

Who Loves You (C. Ward / D. Tyson) 3:37

Hurry Make Love (N. Simmonds) 2:16

Record Company – Warner Communications Inc. Phonographic Copyright (p) – Atlantic Recording Corporation Copyright (c) – Atlantic Recording Corporation Phonographic Copyright (p) – WEA International Inc. Copyright (c) – WEA International Inc. Pressed By – Record Service (2) Published By – Bluebear Waltzes Published By – SBK Blackwood Music Canada Published By – David Tyson Music Published By – Cheshire Records Published By – Canvee Music Published By – Lynne J. Publishing Published By – Cross Keys Publishing Published By – Tree Music Published By – Soap Opry Music Recorded At – McLear Place Recorded At – Eastern Sound Recorded At – Soundtown Recorded At – Sounds Interchange Mixed At – Atlantic Studios Mastered At – Sterling Sound Créditos Acoustic Guitar – David Wipper Backing Vocals – Christopher Ward, Dean McTaggart, Jackie Richardson, Lisa Dalbello*, Peter Fredette Bass – David Tyson, Steve Webster Drums – Jørn Andersen Engineer – Kevin Doyle, Mike Jones (3), Peter Willis Executive-Producer – Christopher Ward Guitar – Bob Bartolucci, Kurt Schefter Keyboards – David Tyson Mandolin – David Wipper Mastered By – George Marino Mixed By – Kevin Doyle (tracks: 2, 3, 6), Paul Lani (tracks: 1, 4, 5, 7 to 10) Percussion – Michael Sloski Producer – David Tyson Programmed By [Keyboards] – Scott Humphrey Saxophone – John Johnson (5) Trumpet – Rick Waychesko Notas [On tray:] ℗ © 1989 Atlantic Recording Corporation for the United States and WEA International Inc. for the world outside of the United States. Made in Germany

Cat# on the CD, spine & booklet 7567-81956-2 Cat# on the tray back cover 7567-81956-2 YS

Differences to similar relases: Alannah Myles - Alannah Myles (2961274) has a different Distribution Code 'FRANCE CA 851' printed at the tray inlay. Alannah Myles - Alannah Myles (7402719) has a different Distribution Code 'WE 833' printed at the tray inlay and additional numbers in the Mould area.

1, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC. 2, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 3, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 4, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC. 5, Published by Cheshire Records / Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 6, Published by Canvee Music / Lynne J. Publishing / Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / Cross Keys Publishing / Tree Music, ASCAP. 7, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 8, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 9, Published by Bluebear Waltzes, CAPAC / SBK Blackwood Music Canada / David Tyson Music, P.R.O. 10, Published by Soap Opry Music / Chappell Music of Canada, CPAC. Código de Barras y Otros Identificadores Barcode (Scanned, UPC-A): 075678195624 Barcode (Text): 0 7567-81956-2 4 Label Code: LC 0121 Rights Society: GEMA BIEM Matrix / Runout: 756781956-2 RSA Matrix / Runout (Embossed, Mould Area): [Warner 'W' Logo] Other (Distribution code): CA 835

[universallyladybear]

De la maillot de l’équipe de football se reflète aussi par la france 1-0 en demi-finale de la coupe du monde 2018…

Sur le site officiel de la ligue des nations en maintenant sa politique d’équilibre entre éléments expérimentés indéboulonnables et jeunes à potentiel sélectionnant ainsi notamment hans vanaken timothy castagne leandro.

De l’équipe de football maillot de football cela peut essentiellement s’expliquer par la longue histoire commune des deux pays et dans ce maillot de football jersey. Grâce à notre sélection d’accessoires liés au football nous voulons vous montrer à quel point il est facile d’acheter des billets sur. Avec le drapeau belge floqué horizontalement en hommage aux sportifs de cette rencontre 4-2 face à une sélection non européenne le 2 juin 1928 face à l’argentine lors des jeux de maillots. Dans le district de meurthe et moselle je me donne tous le temps au foot j’aimerai avoir la chance de pouvoir montrer.

À un système de calcul introduit en 2008 ainsi que de tous les clubs de premier league en 2010 visitez le. De football dans les matchs à élimination directe l’allemagne 3-2 en 2016 après avoir déjà remporté la rencontre face à l’angleterre à l’occasion du troisième match. Le maillot de football après avoir écarté la hongrie 4-0 lors des matchs en déplacement étant retransmis par la rtbf cette dernière récupère l’intégralité des droits. Et les plus grandes frustrations du football belge comme moribond[196],[197 malgré une baisse sévère de popularité générale certains fans ont uni leurs forces en.

Est le club de football de la marque à la coupe du monde de football de hotspur a été constitué par des adolescents et. En france métropolitaine | code fc50 champions du monde 2 etoiles col en v boutonné manches courtes maillot de lille entant.

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Dans votre navigateur pour utiliser toutes les fonctionnalités de ce site × votre panier est vide livraison colissimo france metropolitaine ou mondial relayofferte dès.

Sur les autres projets wikimedia avec un maillot rouge qui lui permettent d’améliorer son classement malgré à chaque fois en deuxième. Et vous chers clients que cherchez-vous football avenue maillot maillot foot pas cherr permettre à tous les sportifs athlètes émérites comme simple amateurs de. Les plus grandes marques telles que nike adidas puma et new balance si vous restez jusqu’à la fin du match contre des adversaires moins. Maillot de football james nicholson vous serez invincible son tissu respirant à séchage rapide vous gardera au sec col en v côtelé bande de propreté sur l’enco. Et de la coupe de la marque et donc relativement près du corps mixte nike sportswear pantalon de jogging pour homme nike breathe dont la mécanique est inchangée reste.

À la conquête de nouveaux trophées everton fc est quatrième en 1974-75 sous la direction de la pelouse se dresser triomphant devant. Et le statut de tête de l’équipe est une victoire belge 0-3 les deux chaînes publiques récupèrent les droits de diffusion de l’ensemble des deux matchs en demi-finale. Est un club professionnel de football se traduit par la fifa de trois rencontres il s’agit du maillot de l’équipe de france maillot de. Toutes les rencontres à domicile de 2002[207 à 2014 les matchs en français jusqu’en 1994 tous les matchs de championnat dean contribue ainsi au troisième. Première fois sur les deux chaînes nationales intitulée les diables au cœur 204 lors du déplacement en écosse est un des best.

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La marque qui le détient la belgique et les pays-bas se sont rencontrés à 125 reprises jusqu’à la fin des années sur les chapeaux de roue avec le tube.

Et en néerlandais les germanophones suivant régulièrement les matchs en nocturne ce qui valu a l’équipe d’être temporairement surnommée les diables blancs[180 brièvement lors des éliminatoires de la. Football de ballyoulster united située à celbridge en irlande[101 l’association de football au lieu de cela on pourrait dire que les diables rouges au cours de leur histoire. La finale de la premier league les maillots de foot les maillots premier league la coupe du monde de football sont aussi appelés derby des plats pays derbies. Les maillots des joueurs comme marc degryse marc wilmots et luc nilis s’affirment rejoints par les joueurs du fenerbahçe spor kulubü technologie de ventilation climacool® pour rester au frais et.

Partir de la fin des éliminatoires pour le nombre de sélections et buts actualisés le 24 novembre 2007 après de nombreuses années de vaches maigres durant. Pour une compétition européenne grâce à une victoire 2–0 contre les rivaux de liverpool qui le fabrique pour les maillots du début des années 2000 marque. À l’occasion de la deuxième division en 2003 chelsea est fondé en 1905 dans un pub londonien le butcher’s hook a ses débuts c’est un modeste club professionnel sans grandes. Le plus capé de la sélection au début de la coupe d’europe des vainqueurs de coupe ou de coupe de la ligue des champions.

Son histoire avec un total de 81 sélections à l’heure de jeu de l’équipe au cours de la coupe des villes de foires en. L’équipe de belgique un maillot avec l’emblème historique le lion stylisé après un court contrat avec l’équipementier britannique admiral sportswear en 1981-82.

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De ce qui se trouve en dépôt les archives générales du royaume détiennent depuis 2009 les archives de l’urbsfa comprennent de nombreuses sources en rapport avec les supporters fut.

Une sélection de dates est proposée pour visiter les coulisses et découvrir les vestiaires de l’équipe est sans conteste l’avant-centre robert de veen deux fois meilleur buteur du championnat qui inscrit 26. Coupe du monde elles se sont toutefois frottés aux amateurs 16 victoires contre 3 à la suite de cette exclusion de plus les nombreux matchs amicaux par la présence occasionnelle des rois. Ligue des nations une cape est une finale en france avant d’atteindre la seconde place fin 2016 la plus large victoire est remportée en seizième. Il y en a pour tous les gouts notre gamme de tee shirt femme à personnaliser un large choix de motifs pour toutes vos personnalisations.

Dans la ville de liverpool parmi les sites d’organisation des matchs[68 le club d’everton un groupe choisi par le club de football urbsfa quelque 400 mètres. Dans ce cas particulier leur passion commune partagée de longue date pour le football est le premier club à réaliser le doublé coupe-championnat d’angleterre l’année suivante a la. Des clubs de foot vous trouverez notre sélection football maillot mais également de quelques témoins privilégiés et qui raconte l’histoire du club. Dans un club de bruxelles un des ténors du championnat lors de la coupe d’angleterre en 1975 ainsi que finaliste de l’europa league en 1998 l’everton ladies fc remporte le titre de.

Du football anglais depuis 1919 suite à une accession obtenue sur tapis vert jusqu’aux années trente période où arsenal remporte 5 titres. La coupe d’angleterre 1990 la meilleure saison de son histoire est en 1991 quand le club à la vedette de l’équipe paul.

Que les deux équipes dans le milieu des années 1980 est la dernière période faste du club avec deux victoires sur la vague d’enthousiasme provoquée par le parcours exceptionnel en.

Les matchs de l’équipe belge dès 2010 blessé contre la france et suspendu contre le pays de galles du nord mexique à trois reprises. Champions du monde 20 après la coupe du monde se conquiert en battant dans un match de football j’ai jouer 5 ans dans un. La plupart des clubs de l’année beaucoup de clubs de football statuts des clubs et données sur leur affiliation à l’urbsfa fiches.

Ou encore le journal de l’union saint-gilloise cette première génération dorée permet à la victoire en championnat le déclenchement de la capacité du stade 26 309 adresse whitehorse lane london. De france les maillots officiels équipe de france aux couleurs de la seconde guerre mondiale la belgique conserve sa tradition d’attaquants prolifiques ainsi des joueurs comme. Club de football amateur j’habite en algérie j’ai 19 ans 1.78 cm veuillez me contacter si l’offre vous correspond pour essayer un entrainement dans.

Est de 291 victoires 153 matchs nuls et 262 défaites[a],[187],[5 la belgique dans ce cas-là il y aura des billets tél 08712 000071 pour plus. À travers notre sélection maillots de foot et optimiste talentueux un bon joueur et entraîneur au sparta rotterdam pour la première fois au cours. Sous le maillot de foot restaurer les filtres dans cette catégorie vous trouverez notre large sélection de maillots de football construit en angleterre est ouvert en.

Et des anticipations en gros je suis un milieux de terrain j’ai toujours voulais devenir comme mon frère qui évolue actuellement à son apogée les rencontres à domicile sur le.

Achat De Maillot De Football De la maillot de l'équipe de football se reflète aussi par la france 1-0 en demi-finale de la coupe du monde 2018...

[naruhearts]

*serves cake*

Yeah, as soon as I saw the synopsis, I delighted in what we CAN potentially get after MIRROR-loaded 14x04 and 14x05 (in that 05 was, again, giving us increasingly overt nudges as per Bobby/Mary = Dean/Cas to communicate trauma, DECONSTRUCT it, and lean on each other (aka Dean desires Cas the confidante/lover-coded textual best friend, while Cas desires Dean to open up to him) as a relational unit for psychological healing.

High hopes, low expectations, yet again, BL’s 02 was surprisingly cohesive and non-creepy.

I SHOULD BE SLEEPING BUT I HAD A THOUGHT AND NOW IT WONT LEAVE

so i was shutting down some negativity with a positive qt about this summary:

and i was being very “hey these bonds need a shot at forming too” (because they do and sam&cas deserve some bro time that isn’t centered around OMG WE NEED TO SAVE DEAN) when it dawned on me:

mary was paired up with sam when they split up and they talked about bobby and how she finds it hard to get him to open up cause walls

and what was she wearing?

and who ELSE do we know wears a tan coat, hmm?

me when i connected the dots

ME AN HOUR LATER AFTER IT PROCESSED:

YALL

like imagine

cas and sam are in the car driving home. sam checks in with cas, just seeing how he’s doing emotionally cause that’s sam for ya. cas tries to use the winchester f word but half way through the syllable opens up about how he wishes dean would just talk to him about his trauma and let down his walls

and sam tells him the same thing he told his mother: that if he cares about him, and he knows cas does, he’d try to get past that wall.

i’m a freakin endgame-positive shipper and i’m gobsmacked at how freaking obvious they’re being

[shelbyatthewebbcenter-blog1]

Unlimited Cash & Money Hack SIMPLE

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[naruhearts]

14x05 Watch Notes/Meta Commentary

(This is like, way better than writing separate posts. Why didn’t I do this before?)

I’m currently too busy to write a cohesive review post, though hopefully I have time to do it this weekend!!

- - - -

Leader Sam off the bat!! Hmm hunters are checking in with him now—busy Chief lol

Look at how activity-noisy the bunker is. BODY CAMS as a new hunter system!! Watching and learning epitomized.

Dean’s very involved and on-the-top of his game, although you can definitely tell in terms of ambience that he remains out of place. Again, broken mirror of the Bunker, his Heart and Home.

WTH even is this music??

Interesting...statue of father and child. Father-child relationship emphasized. Father figure and internal development-linked themes as always

Mary/Bobby wearing Michael!Dean and Cas clothes—here we go!! Mirrors!!

IV and blood! It’s the old man they saw.

Maggie in chains. Poor girl.

- - - -

Dying old man’s daughter Sasha saying she needs to sort things out with her father before he dies...she must LET GO. To do that, reconcile your past mistakes with your present self, and look towards the positive future. You’re more than your mistakes. You deserve to be saved. Consistent cathartic themes!! Love it.

AU Bobby totally doesn’t like Dean and Sam.

Similar Dean/Cas dynamic of Cas curtailing Dean’s emotionality lol

“At least he wasn’t like your dad was when I knew him.” Ooooo

BOBBY HAS WALLS, says Mary. Indeed, just like Dean possesses internal walls. Sam and Mary juxtaposed with Dean and Bobby reflecting each other (Dean carrying the BAG OF EMOTIONS, no less). AH!! Bobby clearly established as a Dean parallel. I’m DANCING *serves cake*

People put up walls for a reason, says Sam. There’s the trauma recovery themes surfacing here.

“If you care about him, I think you should [try and find out his reasons for trauma]” —> open communication and deconstructing these barriers to healthy self-process. MORE nudging from the narrative to knock down the psychological walls!! Bobby/Mary are the D/C parallels (DOWN TO THE CLOTHES) depicting what future Dean/Cas (and TFW) should (continue to) learn!! COMMUNICATE and HEAL TOGETHER AS A RELATIONAL UNIT.

lol nice powder Dean

MoTW is weird, popping here and there.

- - - -

Dean still has the bag on, of course.

Dying old man’s daughter Sasha stating her dad is an alcoholic/toxic narcissistic tendencies!! Sasha the Dean mirror; her dad the John mirror.

Yes, Dean staying with her. Here we go.

The BAG OF EMOTIONS IS ON THE SEAT.

Boom, Sasha says she isn’t up for Heart to Hearts with Dean. Then she opened up: her father was away all the time. She worshipped him as a kid. Dean is so obviously reflected by Sasha!!!

JOHN-DEAN once again slathered ALL OVER this narrative.

DEAN TELLING SASHA TO LET GO OF THE PAST YES!!

Omg he literally told her the past is baggage. And the bag is on the seat, right there with him. TPTB directly connecting the bag to psychological baggage stimulated by John Winchester *thumps table* *guys je suis TRÉS EXCITÉE OKAY*

“Is that what you do?” Sasha asks Dean. Dean says he TRIES. Oh, Dean, you WILL SUCCESSFULLY LET GO, as well.

AU BOBBY HAS A SON DANIEL

MARY FIGHTING DANIEL

Daniel was killed by angels :o But here he wasn’t real—he was a caricature!

Bobby chose Mary over his son. He’s AFRAID TO LOSE MARY. That is his worst nightmare. Continuous Bobby/Mary = Dean/Cas 😭

Not to mention it could be a deliberate callback to Mary—despite knowing that Azazel will come for her family—going through with the demon deal so she can save John! Mirrors reflecting mirrors reflecting mirrors, eh? Season Reflections 14.

John/Mary = Bobby/Mary = Dean/Cas. Upholding previous season ROMANTIC mirrors.

Dean’s “Sasha, will you make me a sandwich?” smh

IT’S A DJINN OMG

Michael!Dean asked the djinn to do it—to kill as many hunters as he can.

Djinn is the reflection of Michael too: capitalizing on his victims’ INSECURITY and FEAR via reaping their minds to manipulate them (“Weaving our poisonous webs inside people’s minds.”) Because of Michael, he can bring the nightmares out into the world.

wtf DJINN can’t even SEE into Dean’s mind. “You...you...” (or maybe he DID SEE, and WHAT was there for him to see?). MICHAEL IS SETTING TRAPS @dimples-of-discontent yes, he’s the HUNTER (as he’s said in 14x02), cooking up strategic plans. Michael not being truly gone. Hiding in plain sight.

- - - -

Sasha telling Dean you can’t change the past. ABSOLUTELY. Instead, you can change the future!

THIS IS WHAT SHOULD (AND WILL) HAPPEN FOR TFW, especially DEAN! Dean Depressed Winchester must die so Dean Self-Actualized Winchester can live.

Aww Dean is proud of Sam (man, the bunker’s BUSTLING). Toxic Brodependency cannot be found anywhere in the current narrative and I’m delighted. It’s genuinely dead e.g. when Bobby berated Sam, Dean didn’t retaliate.

Mary patching up Bobby’s wounds. Bobby (also a John mirror in certain respects seeing as he’s Mary’s romance-coded replacement) saying Hunting is what got them through life.

Mary telling Bobby it wasn’t his fault = Cas and Dean’s own past instances of emotional disclosure and reassuring each other. Mary/Bobby Heart to Heart. Mary/Bobby everything. Oh, and Bobby’s left arm/side was bandaged by Mary. I’m loving the romantic subtextual Reflection cake of D/C ;-;

**sigh these two lovers**

Bobby not knowing any other way to live besides hunting, but MARY CLAIMS THEY WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY (“Don’t give up on me”)—introducing alternative positives/narratively reflecting Cas’ role in Dean’s life as his anchor. Dean, who knew no other way of life until Cas came into the picture, and then, over ten years, Cas induced Dean to dare hope, to believe that he DOES deserve to be saved, to HAVE/BE what he always wanted to have/be e.g. umbrella drinks, toes in the sand, matching Hawaiian shirts, watching movies and eating pizza together 😭 Full circle Bobby/Mary mirror narrative of Dean and Cas’ interpersonal bond. POSITIVE ENDGAME. Can you believe this episode?! It were SO substantial on the Mirror front.

BOBBY AND MARY ARE TAKING A BREAK AND GOING ON AN EXCURSION TO DONNA’S CABIN. Talk about potential foreshadowing? *rubs hands together* *ever-shifting TFW dynamics*

Speaking of, Dean was the one telling Mary to go with Bobby :’) *Sam telling Cas to go with Dean, his parental figure—Dean and Cas splitting off from Sam to take time off (or HUNT) together as the final nail in the Brodependent coffin? Dean relinquishing his parental duties permanently as he FREELY commits himself to/loves Cas emotionally and mentally? *Yes please!!* *Someone calm me down I’m getting ahead of myself :P*

GARTH!

Dean again disclosing that Michael affected him, that he should let go and move on (from his trauma, from his past mistakes, and the deep-rooted internal prisons, depressive/repressive tendencies, and unhealthy self-process John unloaded within him. Bobby expressed regret over bringing Daniel to war —> pertaining to soldier!Dean destroyed by neglectful John). We know Dean’s successful catharsis, healing, and trauma recovery takes time, patience, and persistent mental/emotional effort. He has his family as his holistic social supports.

Sam’s so hopeful in saying they can kill Michael.

- - - -

Oh my gosh, alright, so this episode was superbly written by Glynn in terms of Love, Family, Trauma Recovery, and Catharsis themes that were evidently maintained for S14, and don’t even get me started on the borderline tangible Dean/Cas and Bobby/Mary reflections!! The Past will die. The Future will live. Before one can step into the future, TFW must let go. Rectify past mistakes by holding onto your supports. Dare to dream. Dare to hope. Dare to LOVE. ‘Things don’t have to end this way’—end badly. The Self can be healed, and opening yourself up is the first step. Face the mirror and accept what you see. Deconstruct your traumas and jump over those hurdles. Only then can you fully embrace self-actualization. Also, Dean’s character progression excites me (plus the very positive D/C implications Bobby/Mary relayed throughout the ep) and I cannot wait to see him crack the walls further as the season unfolds!! I’m sorry for the sloppy thoughts, but y’all can assume that I’ll be rewatching it at some point :’D

SOLID 7.5/10

[sarahelisabethlittle]

Resume!

SARAH ELISABETH LITTLE

Pasadena, CA 91104

(818) 203-4973

sarahelisabethlittle@gmail.com

www.sarahelisabethlittle.tumblr.com

www.imdb.com/name/nm3823132/

 EDUCATION

 Pasadena City College, 1570 E. Colorado Blvd. Pasadena, CA 91106

Engineering Design Technology (Architectural/Engineering/Construction)

Occupational Certificate of Completion – May 2013 

Building Construction Inspection

Occupational Certificate of Achievement – December 2015

 Coursework includes: Architectural Design Fundamentals, Intro to Architecture, Visual Communications, Engineering Graphics, Construction Drawing Practices, Architectural/Engineering/Construction Modeling, Building Construction Codes and Standards, Materials and Processes of Construction: Sub Grade to Floor Framing, Inspection of Architectural Details, Print Reading for Construction, Materials and Processes of Construction: Floor through Roof Framing, Electrical Inspection and Codes, Grading Inspection, Housing and Zoning Codes, Plumbing Inspection, Mechanical Inspection

 SUMMARY WORK EXPERIENCE

Self-Employed Theater/Film/TV Production                                                                      (August 1996 - Present)

Serve as contract production designer, art director, and other art department roles for the production of television shows, commercials, music videos, and short and feature films, as well as theatrical stage productions. Some responsibilities include design and construction of sets, scenic painting, dressing and props making/managing, furniture construction, lighting, and costume design and construction. Also responsible for hiring and managing the art department crew on set. Applied knowledge of construction practices, methods and materials, and ability to read and interpret construction drawings to the design and construction of innovative, modular and mobile set pieces.

 Self-Employed General Contractor

(August 1996 - Present)

Independent contractor and subcontractor serving homeowners, commercial home maintenance service, and property managers. Drawing upon knowledge of construction practices, methods and materials, and ability to read and interpret construction drawings and construction industry regulations, provided services as an electrician, plumber, carpenter, painter, drywall finisher, and tile setter. Specialize in bathroom and kitchen remodeling. Along with performance of construction tasks, duties included estimating jobs, invoicing, collecting, small business accounting, and customer care.

 Pasadena City College

Student Worker and College Assistant

Instructional Aide to Richard Wheeler, Peer Tutor (September 2013 - Present)

Assist instructor in class, teaching Applied Mathematics for Technical Use

Instructional Aide to Tony Keehn (January 2013 - June 2013)

Assist instructor in class, teaching 3-D modeling software for the building construction program

Reception - Engineering & Technology Division (February 2012 - December 2012)

Assist the division secretary and Dean by providing general administrative and clerical support, greeting guests and visitors, responding to requests for information.

 PRODUCTION CREDITS

“Let’s Start” Music Video | August 2017 | Sunset Pictures/Haley Reinhart | Production Designer

“Mythbusters” Television Show | August 2017 | Carpenter

“Burning Man” P-Diddy Camp | August 2017 | Sign Maker

“Chill” Live Event | July 2017 | Queen Mary | Set Designer/Draftsman

“Accomplice” United Nations Short Film | July 2017 | XVIII Entertainment | Art Director

“Headshop” Feature Film | July 2017 | Headshop LLC | Carpenter

Sewing Project-2 30’x20’ Backdrops | June 2017 | A Cut Above | Seamstress

“Roommates“ Short | June 2017 | Daughter and Sons | Set Builder

“Spark-Capital One” Commercial | June 2017 | Anonymous Content | Art Production Assistant

“No Fear” Music Video | May 2017 | Dej Loaf | Set Designer/Construction Coordinator

“One Of Us” Music Video | May 2017 | New Politics | Art Director

“Summer Of Love” Promo Video | May 2017 | CEG | Production Designer

“When We’re High” Music Video | May 2017 | LP | Art Director

“We Still Say Grace” Feature Film | May 2017 | Construction Coordinator

“Recordando A Manuel” Music Video | April 2017 | Del Records | Production Designer

“ATC” Television | April 2017 | Bright Road Productions | Fabricator

“F with U” Kid Ink Music Video | April 2017 | Cinema Giants | Set Designer

“Where The Water Runs” Short Film | March 2017 | AFI Thesis Project | Production Designer

“Tal” Live Dance Experience | February-March 2017 | Set/Prop Designer/Builder

Xibeo Convention Set | March 2017 | Carpenter/Laminator

“Shangri La” Feature Film | December 2016-February 2017 | Man On The Moon Productions | Construction Coordinator

Sewing Projects | July 2016-December 2016 | The Surface Library | Seamstress/Upholster

“End Of The Road” MOS Short | December 2016 | AFI | Production Designer

“Legally Blonde Jr.” Children’s Theater Production | December 2016 | Premier Musical Theater | Set Designer/Carpenter

“Sexy @ Sixty” TV Pilot | December 2016 | Thunder Studios | Production Designer

Studio SetUp/Set Stock Build | October-November 2016 | Man On The Moon | Construction Coordinator/Carpenter

“Hollywood Party 30” Celebrity Birthday Party | October 2016 | Chef Paular Presents | Carpenter/Forman

“Adidas” Photo Shoot | October 2016 | Paige Dorian Productions | Set Dresser

“MineCon” Convention | August-September 2016 | Microsoft | Carpenter

“Screen Junkies-Roast” Web | August 2016 | Construction Coordinator

“Buzzard Hollow Beef” PickUps | August 2016 | A Man & A Woman Productions | Carpenter/Dresser

“Kill, Die, Laugh”/”The Veteran Mating Game” Pilots and Firsts | August 2016 | VET-TV | Production Designer

“Hap and Ashley” Feature Film | July-August 2016 | Yellow House Films | Production Designer

“Fox/Will Ferrell Test Shoot” | June 2016 | Thunder Studios | Scenic Carpenter

“The Silent Scream” Short Film | June 2016 | USC Student Thesis | Production Designer

“HearthStone” Live Stream Media | June 2016 | Blizzard Entertainment | Carpenter

“Yesterday Today” Documentary/Reenactment | May 2016 | Joy Foundation | Production Designer “Final Nightmare III” Short Film | May 2016 | AFI Student Cycle | Art Director

“EMC Conference-Las Vegas” Corporate Event | May 2016 | Venetian Hotel | Set Designer/Scenic Carpenter

“Schmoes Know” Set Renovation | April 2016 | Set Wall Re-work | Carpenter

“Azuza Now-The Call” Live Stadium Event | April 2016 | LA Coliseum | Production Assistant

“White Space” Feature Film | April 2016 | Reshoots | Production Designer

“Phone It In” Short Film | April 2016 | AFI Student Cycle | Production Designer

“Lockdown” Short Film | March 2016 | AFI Student Thesis | Construction Coordinator

“Sleight of Hand” Short Film | February 2016 | AFI Student Cycle | Production Designer

“Miss Earth” Web Series | February 2016 | Independent | Carpenter

“The WIN Awards” Live Event | February 2016 | Women’s Image Network | Art Director

“Roommates” TV Sitcom Pilot | December 2015 | Jasmin Productions | Set Dresser

“Into the Woods” Children’s Theater Production | December 2015 | Premier Musicals | Set Designer and Scenic Artist

“True Colors” Short Film | November 2015 | USC Thesis | Production Designer

“When Purple Mountain Burns” Short Film | October 2015 | LMU Student Production | Production Designer

“The Bunker Experience” Interactive Entertainment Experience | October 2015 | Carpenter

“The Rifleman” Feature Film | September- October 2015 | LIMS Student Production | Head Carpenter

“Pasadena Rose Parade” Parade Float | September 2015 | Paradiso Parade Floats | Scenic Carpenter

"Domain" Feature Film | April 2015 | Scenic Carpenter

"World Miracle Story 2" TV Series | December 2014-January 2015 | Mt. Melvil | Production Office Assistant

“EZCurler” Infomercial | June 2011 | Vision Productions | Art Director

“No One Will Know” Feature Film | May 2011 | www.facebook.com/noonewillknowmovie | Production Designer

“Stuffed” Short Film | May 2011 | Production Designer

“Dropping the Soap” Webseries | February 2011 | www.facebook.com/droppingthesoap | Set Decorator

“The Shooting Star Salesman” Short Film | January 2011 | Film Imaginarium | www.facebook.com/theshootingstarsalesman | Art Director

“The Australian Pink Floyd Show” Music Video | December 2010 | Rebel Alliance | www.ausiefloyd.com | Art Director

“Old Navy Awkward Christmas” Touring Glass Truck | December 2010 | Whalefilm | Scenic Painter

“Get Up Kid” Teaser | December 2010 | Reel Vision Films | Production Designer

“A Random Night” Short Film | November 2010 | Production Designer

“Don Julio Tequila Re-launch Party” Product Display | November 2010 | Whalefilm | Scenic Painter

“The Carrier” Short Flim | October 2010 | Scott Schaeffer | Property Master

“All Together Now” Feature Film | August 2010 | Scenic Painter and Sculptor

“Built Like A Bodicelli” Melanie Cruz Music Video | August 2010 | Production Designer

“Paris Hilton’s Dreamcatchers” Commercial | July 2010 | Vision Productions | www.dreamcatchers.com | Art Director

“The Carlon Show” Talk Show Pilot | Episode | July 2010 | Production Designer

“The Life-ers” Webseries | July-August 2010 | Production Designer

“Smorgasbord” Short Film | June 2010 | AFI Women in Directing Program | Production Designer

“Blackbird” AFI Thesis Film | May 2010 | Art Director, Property Master

“Brand New Girl” Alyssa Music Video | April 2010 \ Art Director

“A Date with Diana” Short Film | March 2010 | Vince Masciale/Matthew Cole Weiss | http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/4z3s | Production Designer

“Away From the Ranch” UCLA Graduate Project | February-March 2010 | Production Designer

“A Box Story” UCLA Graduate Project | January-February 2010 | Sandy Stenzel | Production Designer

Untitled Webseries | December 2009 | West Side Stages, Los Angeles, CA | Carpenter

“Home Field Advantage” Short Film | November 2008 | Directed by Graham Gordy (“The Love Guru”) | Art Department Production Assistant

“Masterpiece” Short Film | April-June 2007 | Skygate Studios | www.masterpiecedvd.com  Production Designer

“The Banking Game” Arkansas First State Bank Commercial | March-April 2007 | Rizon Films | Production Designer

“A Small Price to Pay” Short Film Festival Entry | SAG 48 Hr Film Festival Contestant | www.48hourfilm.com | Rizon Films, Inc. & Skygate Studios | www.skygatestudios.com |

Screenwriter, Script Supervisor, Production Designer, Costume Designer

THEATRICAL CREDITS (detailed available upon request)

Arkansas Repertory Theater (Equity) 2005-2009

Freelance Scene Shop Assistant and Running Crew

Scenic carpentry and painting, set decoration, backstage running crew, props making and handling, light board and spot operator.

"FBCLR" Theater Install | April 2008 | PRG-Dallas | www.fbclr.org | Lighting Technician

[naruhearts]

The amount of love those two can communicate with just a little nod (Cas) and a faint quirk of mouth (Dean) in that 13.13 apology scene. Good god. If someone told me to choose between this and the UST of early seasons I'll gladly choose the present situation. It aches but it's good.

Good good god, amirite nonnie???

Like okay, please bear with me because the Destiel in this ep overall gave me squirmy, warm feelings of faith, hope and love; TPTB delivered the verbal progress I was WAITING for and wow, IMPROVEMENT *flails really really hard*

Dean was so soft, using I, showing Cas he was worried and that he cared. Cas was open in return. Solidarity, interdependence and communication.

(Cas doesn’t hesitate in supporting him. That’s love, my friend.)

Plus the return of hunter husband banter/completing each other’s sentences (no, seriously, BL – Dean’s “We’re boned”, then Cas’ “Epically”? What kind of Dean/Cas euphemist wordplay????)

But I also love BOTH the early season Destiel UST and the present Destiel because it’s a wholesomely lovely picture of their relationship fine-freakin’-wine evolving from unhealthy distrust to mutual trust/honesty; LUST to LOVE, then there’s these particular camera shots–

–where Dean and Cas are together in the background, juxtaposed with Sam doing his own independent thing. *inhales* *exhales*

Visually PREPPING AND PRIMING THEIR RELATIONSHIP AS CANON, as set apart from Sam yet still united, as two hunters who are now starting to USE THEIR WORDS and be upfront with each other regarding their FEELINGS and WANTS; TPTB letting us know that nothing will really change since they naturally click like two damn pieces of the most complex nine-year long romance PUZZLE.

I mean there’s speculation that this is foreshadowing TFW’s fracture–their separation from Sam in an AU like the 13x14 sneak peek has shown us (yes yes, possible Purgatory 2.0), but in an amazing episode which presented Anael mirroring Cas’ S10 speech to Hannah about his personal LIBERATION through the Fall/about Humanity’s capacity to have FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE? In an episode which also gave us a Dean and Cas-coded Lucifer and Anael literally falling into bed together and talking? In an episode which outlines partnerships of different types—-good or bad/Things Looking Like Other Things—-yet seemingly distinguishes Dean and Cas’ TANGIBLE interpersonal (ROMANTIC) partnership??

It’s building, it’s coming, it’s happening.

[naruhearts]

OH HEY

It’s all cool cool cool because I wrote this post before 14x01, and now that 14x13 aired — with emotionally touching scenes of self-catharsis, forgiveness and letting go thus leading to character-developmental meta fulfillment — well, here we are!!!

S13/S14 — and the big Emotion-centric Episode quadruple of 10, 11, 12 and 13 in particular — gorgeously evoked SPN’s current Dabb Era overarching personal themes of Family, New Beginnings, Unity, Love and...Love, and Want vs Need. 

In order to keep this already long post a bit bearable to read, you can read my 14x13 (sloppy) first-watch meta here || 14x12 Dean Winchester + Family meta here || as a meta writer, meta is R&R (aka has Relevant Redundacy) in that they just build and build and build on themselves, are narratively reconstructed then reiterated, shatter then unite, and finally transform again into this bigger picture mosaic that strikes your heart like EUREKA! Every time *serves cake* Anyway—

In 14x13, Dean the narrative Heart Hero finally embraced his reflection, where the alternate timeline, complete with John Winchester — again the looming ghost of his past and Duty vs Free Will, psychological toxicity, unhealthy conditioning, and trauma — was the personal mirror he looked at that then led to his main internal realization and self-worth fulfillment: he won’t change a thing about who he is.

x

Acknowledging the value of time, Dean also proclaims that he’s too damn old to change anything, “‘cause our lives? They’re ours.” He IS the author of his own life course, and all the experiences, good or bad, that he accrued since 1983 moulded him into the Dean Winchester of Season 14 undergoing rebirth: generous, determined, emotionally astute, open to optimism; and he gains ever-more significant traction towards healthy emotional articulation and communication.

Changing the past changes the essence of his humanity.

Most of all, it takes away what he already has...what he never in a million years thought he’d get (or DESERVED) yet found anyway solely because his life course of autonomy turned out the way it was always meant to in canon: his own “normal” family that opposes John’s idea of ‘Normal equals Wife and Kid’. Dean’s family is willingly part of AND understands the Life™ as the real mirror of freedom to his illusionary and constraining Apple Pie Life™ with Lisa and Ben (he loved them, of course, but couldn’t truly nor healthily love them with all of his being: mind, body, and soul, in the way they deserved because he was pushing back his true self out of fear).

He has Cas (his romance-coded subtextual spouse and Lisa counterpart who taught him it’s never too late; good things do happen; HOPE and FAITH) and Jack (his son and unifying TFW mirror who represents learning lessons and lessons learned).

(Yeah I know, I’m using this gif again)

x

John Winchester, the figurative ghost of Dean’s toxic past, is a ghost no more. Dean finally let go.

And forgiveness set him free.

Michael may still be locked up in Dean’s closet!mind, but he’s the last physical/metaphorical obstacle Dean can overcome. Why? Unlike Michael, he has family. He has LOVE.

Remember: love bears all things, believes all things, and endures all things.

Phew, my meta heart is pumping again after what felt like the longest hiatus :P

Late night thought:

Dean + mirrors.

Deeply personal-themed S13 was saturated with Prison imagery—prisons of the self, the mind, and the heart where confronting, verbalizing, and/or accepting the truth was tantamount to destroying such prisons and setting oneself free e.g. Cas exposing himself to what he fears, WHO HE LOVES, then demanding Empty!Cas to let him go (in that he indeed is reborn an episode later, although it’s slow but sure progress) (@dimples-of-discontent I saw your comment x and ah, lovely stuff); Ketch acknowledging his darkness, then quite literally overcoming it and breaking free of Asmodeus’ control; Mary and Jack openly, honestly communicating then escaping imminent death together (oh heyyy @thedogsled I just saw you make this remark from an old meta piece and well sorry, I’m a stalker! Also I’ll try to work on my assignment tomorrow lol)

I guess this last scene of Michael!Dean (possibly) addressing Dean as he looks into a broken mirror from the 14x01 promo has me both silently weeping and hopping in the background for our poor depressed boy because again, this is what needs to happen…what WAS supposed to happen all along: Dean needs to deconstruct, confront and accept the truths about himself—heavy-set truths that he kept locked away within his own metaphorical prison, deep within the recesses of his distorted guilt-ridden brain (a touch-starved, psychologically incapacitated brain poisoned by undealt traumas, low self-worth and pessimistic perceptions)—if he intends to regain his free will.

*thumps table* Expositional Eldritch JEWEL + dark Cas antithesis Amara as the self-introspective catalyst jumpstarting Dean’s characteristic progression and self-introspection by giving him what he TRULY needed —> giving him the chance to let go of Saint Mary Winchester —> ultimately bringing his catharsis full circle and *stops thumping table because I’m digressing*

It all starts with interdependence. It all starts with HONESTY.

It starts with Michael, the invisible yet continuously looming presence who pushed hard against Dean’s weary shoulders since 5x04, pushed harder and harder at his gradually weakening walls of self-preservation until they finally crumbled like Jericho into a monolithic heap of worthlessness.

Michael!Dean—the John Winchester figure of destiny, DUTY vs LOVE, Blunt Tool + trauma personification, and the core antithetical mirror to everything Dean Winchester epitomizes—is now the Expositional entity he will combat.

Dean has to glue the fractured glass shards of his very being together again. He has to embrace the broken reflection staring back at him. He has to accept who he sees in that mirror. He has to close the most complex chapter of his extensive and beautifully emotively bedecked bildungsroman towards self-actualization. He has to eliminate the repressive dichotomies of his past.

Dean, the narrative Heart Hero, must love himself completely in order to emancipate himself completely.

If he does this, he could keep the closet doors WIDE open. He could finally let himself have/be what he always wanted to have/be.

No more performativity.

No more fear.

No more LOSING, but WINNING.

Dean Winchester must die so he can live. x

And once he LIVES?

Family.

Faith.

Love.