#clearly this is one of the more important things to wonder about

[spiritwriterwisp]

Knight's Day Out!

Inspired by @zeivira "No rest for the wicked." & "A Difference In Medical Opinion" by petalil on AO3. Thank you guys for this delicious idea♥️

After achieving knighthood, Subaru spends the day with his fellow knights. Will he be able to prove his worth despite his "condition"? More at eleven.

As Subaru sits with the knights for the first time after his knighthood ceremony, he finds himself drawn to their day to day life.

He's always been so used to their rigid manners and unmoving posture, but now that they're in the barracks - away from judgement and their duties, their demeanor completely changes. They exchange greetings, funny stories and short anecdotes from their patrols.

Subaru quickly finds himself relaxing right beside them, they sit together and chat about mundane things. However, he could sense wary glances towards him.

'Is this because they don't accept me?' Subaru wonders. But he quickly quashes the thought. The knights have been nothing but respectful to him - even if they haven't, Subaru was sure that their prideful nature would have forced them to be more vocal about their objections to his knighthood.

'It can't be that. So, what's making them so wary of me...?'

The thought stays in his head when lunchtime rolls around. By this time, Reinhard, Julius and Ferris have joined him. They sit together alongside a few other knights named Hamish and Jameson.

"So Ser Subaru, have you been enjoying your stay?" Asks Ser Hamish.

"Yes, it's been very fun! But..."

"Subaru, I can sense some mixed feelings. Is everything alright?"

"Nya knyow Subaru-kyun, nyu can always tell us what's wrong."

"Do not fret Subaru, if someone is bothering you - I will act accordingly."

"That's right Ser Subaru! Don't worry!"

"Well, it's not bad and no one's bothering me! Jeez... Anyways, it's not that. I just felt like some knights were staring at me weirdly."

The five knights stay quiet. Ferris and Julius throw knowing glances at each other. Reinhard looks down at his food with an awkward expression. Ser Jameson's shoulders tense and Ser Hamish's fork becomes really interesting to look at all of a sudden.

"Seriously, what's with this reaction!? C'mon guys, you know something. Spill!"

The five knights look at each other, as if waiting for someone else to clear the air.

"Did I do something!? Geez, it must have been embarrassing...!"

"No no! Ser Subaru you have done nothing wrong! No one is offended by you being here!" Mumbles Ser Jameson.

"That's right, Subaru! You are very welcome and all the knights enjoy your presence." Adds Reinhard, clearly attempting to clear up the misunderstanding.

"So what is it, then? You guys are clearly hiding something. I need to know if it's important." Responds Subaru.

"In reality Subaru, while your presence is welcome. The news of your knighthood wasn't well-received by some knights." The previously quiet Julius explains with a steady tone.

Subaru feels his shoulders drop in disappointment.

"While everyone greatly respects your contributions to our country. Many had objections of letting an ill man into the ranks of the Royal Guard."

"I'm not that ill! I can hold my own just fine!" Subaru interjects. Deep inside, he feels a little shame creep up in his chest. The fact that others see him as fragile and useless hurts.

"We know Subaru. However, that hasn't stopped some objections from being raised. Fortunately, Captain Markos did well to quash any objections." Reinhard says.

"But that's not what you guys said earlier. You guys kept saying how much 'the knights like you' and all that stuff. You know you don't need to lie to me right? I'm old enough - I can handle the truth."

"That's because the objections didn't come from malice but rather a place of concern." Ser Jameson confirms.

"Huh?"

"Subaru, when the knights heard of your...condition, there was a growing sentiment of granting you a considerable retirement instead of active duty." Julius reveals.

"That's true. Most of the knights attempted to change the captain's mind about your enlistment because you have already served well. They believed you deserved an early retirement." Ser Jameson explains.

"Geez, an early retirement? That's a bit too much! I mean, what am I gonna do for the remaining sixty or something years of my life? Just sit around and do nothing? Yeah no thanks, I would rather serve-"

As Subaru looks up at his friends mid-rant, he stops as he sees their shocked faces. Ser Jameson drops his fork, Julius' eyebrows knit together in confusion and worry. Ferris' mouth drops, completely stunned as if Subaru just declared himself a witch cultist. Ser Hamish appears to be completely white with a deadpan look on his face. Meanwhile, Reinhard stares in confusion, his eyes trained on Subaru.

"S-subaru, what do you mean by sixty years? How o-old are you?" Stammers Ferris, who still hasn't recovered from shock.

"That's weird, I'm eighteen years old Ferris. And I mean I'm gonna live sixty more years, so I would die in my eighties. I think?"

The temperature drops significantly.

"Hey, what's with this reaction all of the sudden!? I didn't say anything weird! C'mon, guys." Implores Subaru.

"...Subaru, the average person lives for about one-hundred and fifty years. They are considered elderly when they're one-hundred and twenty years old." Reinhard chokes.

Now it was Subaru's turn to be shocked.

"Hold on, did nyo not nynow this?!" Exclaims Ferris. His arms holding his weight on the table.

"No! No one in my family ever lived that long! Sixty is retirement age guys!"

"Oh my Od."

That was not how lunch was supposed to go.

After that disaster of a lunch, Subaru can feel the knights stares morph into extreme worry and sympathy.

Every time Subaru attempts to do anything helpful, the others step in and take over the task.

"Don't worry Ser Subaru, I'll take over now."

"Don't bother yourself with this, Ser Subaru."

"Allow me to help you!-"

Is this what being a Disney princess feels like? Feeling like a damsel in distress leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Subaru knew that the knights had good intentions, but their constant need to help him and take over every single task in his place only served to reinforce his feelings of inferiority.

Subaru wanted to prove himself. He has long since given up on proving he's not ill. That he doesn't have a partial Sleeping Beauty Disease. Because he has come to the realization that he always will be so in their eyes.

After all, he's an outlander with a foreign physiology. In a world that functions with no need for sleep, he is considered functionally disabled.

There is nothing he can do to change that.

But that doesn't mean he won't try to exceed expectations.

With his trusty whip by his side, he will show everyone his worth.

In a carriage bound for the forest, a small team consisting of Sir Jameson, Sir Hamish and Subaru led by Ser Yonas prepares to investigate a Mabeast sighting.

"Villagers claim to hear distant howls and violent thumping in all hours. Not only that, but also a previous check up has confirmed a significant rise in mana levels on the premises." Sir Jameson explains.

"There is no need to explain further. Sir Jameson and Sir Hamish shall head east. I will head west and -" Yonas' eyes dart towards Subaru. "Subaru will remain here with the coachman."

"Hey! I'm a knight too! How come I have to stay here!?"

"To protect the coachman, of course."

"The coachman doesn't need protecting he's holding a barrier stone! You're just trying to bench me."

"I'm not sure what you mean by 'benching you' but I will not allow a man of your condition to step unto the field. Otherwise, you risk holding us back."

"Sir Yonas, that is an awful thing to say..." Mutters Ser Jameson. He wanted to defend Subaru's honor, he was the slayer of Sloth and the Great Rabbit after all! However, Ser Yonas doesn't seem moved by his meager comment.

"Be quiet, fool. If he falls asleep during this mission, not only does he risk himself but also all of us. As the acting Captain of this mission, I will not allow dead weight." States Ser Yonas.

"it doesn't work like that! I don't fall asleep randomly! And definitely not in the woods-" Subaru tries to defend himself, only to be interrupted.

"Your illness will hold us back." Ser Yonas declares, not allowing any room for argument.

"You don't know anything about my illness!" Subaru yells.

"I don't care to know. Remain here, Subaru." Ser Yonas spits out. He gets up and motions for both Ser Jameson and Ser Hamish to move out and begin their mission.

The sympathetic knights throw sorry glances at Subaru. They couldn't disobey their superior officer.

The three leave Subaru to sulk with the coachman, who places a gentle pat on his shoulder.

"Y'know son, you're a good man. Don't take what Ser Yonas says seriously. He's always like that." The coachman says, trying to comfort a grumpy Subaru.

"How do you put up with an annoying guy like that, then? I'm not staying quiet if he decides to insult me again next time!" Subaru declares, putting up his arms dramatically.

"He he, why not challenge him to a duel?"

"And have a repeat of Julius? No way! I specialize in battles against witch cultists and beasts - not knights! Thank you very much!" Subaru shuddered, he had learned a good lesson in the Capital that day. He could still feel Emilia's cold look.

"Well for what it's worth, you saved my little nephew in Arlam that day. To me, you'll always be our hero." The old coachman confesses.

The comment drills itself deep in Subaru's heart. He feels blood pumping into his cheeks as he becomes red in the face from embarrassment.

"Aww, thanks man. I appreciate it. Hey, do you know why Yonas is such an ass?"

"I'm afraid only Ser Yonas can answer that question. I know for a fact that he was the leading voice against your promotion."

'That's because the objections didn't come from malice but rather a place of concern.'

Subaru remembers Jameson's comment. While Yonas's behavior hints at a more malicious reason, he trusted Jameson's words far more.

'Could it be...' Subaru wonders.

"Y'know son, I have been the coachman for the Knight Order for the better part of twenty years now. Not once have I heard a single bad word about Ser Yonas. That boy was always kind, a little harsh but kind nonetheless." The old coachman admits.

'Is....Is Ser Yonas a tsundere?'

"That boy has seen a lot. While I haven't confirmed it, I have heard rumors that Yonas's younger brother has fallen into an eternal slumber years ago."

"Oh...." Subaru looks down at the grass, his shoulders drop and his face softens.

This would make sense. If Subaru were a constant reminder of his younger brother's affliction, it wasn't surprising that Yonas disliked him.

Subaru gets up with new-found determination, he pumps his fist up into the air and declares : "I'm Natsuki Subaru, and I won't stand back even when I'm ordered too!"

He steps off the carriage and heads into the forest.

"Son, where are you going? You're disobeying orders! Ser Yonas won't let this go!"

"I didn't become Natsuki Subaru by following them! I'll see you later, old man. Thank you for the pep talk!" Subaru says as he runs off in the same direction as Yonas.

"That boy is gonna get into so much trouble..." The old man sighs. But deep in his heart, he hoped he wouldn't.

Ser Yonas has severely underestimated the number of Mabeasts in the forest. He didn't think he would run into an entire herd of them. As he runs across the foliage, attempting to reach higher ground to hopefully gain an advantage.

The beasts are gaining up on him.

His hopes are for naught as a massive cliff looms over him, blocking his escape. Yonas unsheathes his sword as he prepares a final stand.

"I will not allow the witchbeasts into the village!"

He takes in a deep breath and shouts :

"I am Ser Yonas Verdant. A proud Knight of Lugunica. Prepare to die."

The beasts don't understand. Yonas was sure that even if they could, they wouldn't care. They bare their teeth and ready their claws.

His life flashes before his eyes. Visions of a woman and two children, a comatose man and a respectable home rush through his mind.

"Hey buddy! Looks like you're in a pickle, my guy!" Laughs a familiar voice from above.

See Yonas looks up in disbelief only to find Subaru, grinning down at him. But before he can interject, Subaru yells :"Get away man! Nature's strongest attack incoming!"

Without thinking, Ser Yonas dodges to the side, moving from underneath the massive cliff into a nearby river.

The earth shakes. A massive wave of dirt and rock crashes into the witchbeasts and buries them underground, kiilling them instantly.

The sound of growls and bones breaking slowly fade as the monsters die underneath the mound.

'What the hell just happened.' Ser Yonas thinks as he drags himself out of the river. A rough hand helps him on his feet.

"What the hell was that!? How did you do that!?" Yonas screams at Subaru.

"Chill dude, the cliff was eroding so I just moved a few rocks. Then the whole thing just crashed into itself. Don't worry, I had everything under control."

"Under control? Under control!? You dropped the entire cliff! Are you insane? Not only did you disobey direct orders, you also engaged in a dangerous stunt! Do you have anything to say for yourself!?"

"Geez I'm sorry I saved you, asshole!"

Ser Yonas flinches.

"How about this, let's just sit in silence and wait for Hamish and Jameson to pick us up. They must have heard the cliff crashing down." Subaru suggests, any goodwill he had towards Yonas fades away like dandelions in the wind.

They sit next to each other in silence under a tree. The gentle wind breezes past. The pale moonlight envelopes the world. In this tranquil environment, Ser Yonas finds his anger fading away.

"I apologize for my earlier harshness. While I don't agree with your methods, you did, in fact, save my life."

"...You're welcome."

"I must also apologize for my treatment of you earlier. You did not deserve such words."

"Why did you hate me so much?" Subaru softly asks.

"In truth, I was jealous. My brother has been sleeping for five years now with no signs of waking up. And when I heard of you, I became inexplicably angry-why is my younger brother cursed to forever sleep while you wake up?"

Subaru looks up from the ground and shifts his gaze to where Yonas sits. He is sitting completely drenched in water with his face buried in his knees, as if to hide himself from the world.

"So I took out my anger on you. It was shameful of me to insult a great knight such as yourself. You, who has saved more people than I ever have-"

"Don't insult yourself like that, man. You're a good guy and a great knight. You help people every day. You saved people too. Don't forget that. I'm sure your brother will be proud of you."

Yonas raises his head from his knees and looks at Subaru with tears in his eyes.

"Even when I reminded you of your disease? Even when I bullied you back in the carriage, even when I-"

"That's the Yonas from an hour ago. The Yonas sitting in front of me now has apologized to me."

Subaru takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and begins wiping his tear-stricken face.

"I have heard of your diminished lifespan from the other knights. I just wanted to say that I truly am sorry."

"Don't feel bad. I don't. I've been like this my entire life and so have my family so it's not like I feel left out or something. What's the difference between living for eighty or one-hundred and fifty years? I'll still live a good life that's for sure."

"How can you be so confident?"

"You're not gonna live if you keep wondering about the future. You're gonna make mistakes in life, so try your best to learn move on, y'know."

Yonas stares at Subaru in shock.

"So you're just going to forgive me that easily?"

"Yes."

"Why? If it were anyone else, I would have been challenged to a duel or..."

"Geez man, calm down! I forgave you because you're genuinely a kind guy, like deep deep inside."

For the first time in a long while, perhaps since the day his beloved younger brother fell into his never-ending coma, Yonas truly laughed from deep inside his soul.

Unable to hold himself back, Subaru begins laughing as well.

And that's how they're found.

Upon making their way back to the guard station, the crew went into their separate ways and Subaru finds himself sitting next to Reinhard.

"Hey Reinhard, were you also against me becoming a knight?"

"...Yes, I was. I believed an early rest for you was far more appropriate."

"What changed your mind?"

"It was the way you looked at Lady Emilia during your knighthood ceremony. You had such a love-filled gaze. I knew that in that moment, you have found your will to live."

Subaru blushes as he looks up at the night sky. For the first time in a long time, a burst of honesty devoid of any jokes spreads in his chest.

"I just wanted to live with the girl I loved for the rest of my life."

His eyes feel heavy and a yawn escapes his throat.

"Oh Subaru, Ferris has prepared a room for you tonight before you return to Lady Emilia."

"Thanks man....I appreciate it" Subaru mutters as he stumbles into his room. As soon his head hits the covers, sleep overtakes him and he passes out cold.

As sunlight creeps in through the window, Subaru is startled awake by the feeling of someone watching him sleep. He opens his eyes, only to find a group of at least a dozen knights staring at him as he slept.

"Oh, c'mon guys!"

Who are Ser Hamish & Ser Jameson and Ser Yonas? I made them up for more world building. I thought it would be better to see more characters other than the known cast.

I actually started writing this one shot in February but then school ate my will to live lol. It started as comedic & then became a bit more depressing as I kept writing.

A massive thank you to @amphimoria for catching a lot of (dumb) mistakes made by me. English is not our first language, so forgive any mistakes ty ♥️

[i-eat-novels]

You know how a lot of people hc post-abyss Luo Binghe as having cool demon claws and stuff? I feel like if he has demon claws he should have demon toenails too, but can you imagine how much that would suck if you wanted to put socks on? It just catches on the fabric and probably tears holes into it. And then you have to put on your boots. It's like having toe extensions, there's no way that wouldn't feel uncomfortable lmao

Anyways Luo Binghe probably clips his toes because I can't imagine him just Living with that ghdska he makes it a Bonding activity with SQQ

LBH: "You wanna know one of the worst parts of when my seal was removed?" SQQ: *sweats* LBH: "My shoes were instantly destroyed"

[hihopelessromantics]

OOOH! Definitely interested in your wips. Would love to hear more about these in particular (whichever one(s) you feel like sharing)

(also yes definitely still happily stuck inside this fandom bubble)

will indulge!!! (This is long but it's good to organize my thoughts lol)

I straight up forgot to put the name of this one lol. Meliodas doing dangerous antics is part of my Through the Wall sequel fic, called "Stakeout" which is the one where I have him cooking. I tried to mix in some humor with the angst here. It's basically Stigma Meliodas if Nakaba didn't nerf his intellegence. This one, I'll be feeding you guys soon!! Because I plan to try to finish Through the Wall this Thanksgiving Break, since I started it last thanksgiving break (ambitious I know, but imagine the poetism if I pull it off!) and Stakeout is farther along in its completion than that one. Stakeout is about Meliodas looking out for the TC and his brother from the opposite of the war. The first part is him deciding to try to get them dinner after seeing how worn-down they are, and the second . . . well, he can't exactly leave Zeldris to watch over both the Vampire and Demon Realms all by his lonesome, right? I'm actually really excited for you and @7-ratsinatrenchcoat to see this one in particular when it's finished because I tried to channel the melizabeth energy I liked in your work

This one is named such not cause I wanna name it something bulky (it has a better name! that's the exclusive lore lol) but I'm commited not to spoiling the plot twists in this one. This is gonna be my main gift to this fandom, a spiced up psychological horror rewrite of the whole show with original elizabeths and original adventures for the first and second season (that one is a backstory with Liz!) Plot point collaboration welcome. A bunch of season one, and the plot tiwsts, I made with my good friend zeldriszezinho, and I'm pretty antsy and excited to finally get around to it and present him with the result of our hard work, haha. I actually have a lot of senarios planned both in detail and loosely, just not written down. I'm currently procrastinating on Season 1 Pt. 2 because it's literally 5 or so arcs of content, one for all the sins, and uh. mental energy. So I'm trying to finish up a lot of small projects first just so my mind isn't everywhere. I can't remember if you've seen what I've posted on it so far but here's the masterpost and season one part one! It's on tumblr too! but I went ahead and pressed the space bar like 4 times every indent so it would be normally formatted on A03 sooooo https://archiveofourown.org/works/48567730 https://archiveofourown.org/works/48611485/chapters/122618557

3. Ironically, think Rings was another one inspired by you - it's old, almost 8 months by now, and the only reason I haven't published it yet is the second ellie spiraled out of control into her own adventure and I haven't had the time because I've been word vomiting so many other projects into existence. it's half meme format, half usual writing. The second ellie's meme story is complete and the third's just needs its wrapping up of its actual plot, which is simple: an arrogant man thinks his bride is secretly a nutcase, but feels pressured into marrying her because medival times, because she's a sweet and intellegent woman running an orphanage all by herself, and technically he can't do better, and because it would look disasterously on the both of them and destroy his carefully crafted persona if they somehow couldn't make this community-arranged marriage work. So he's "putting up with her quirks." Including the ancient what-looks-like-wedding-rings she wears around her neck, and the fact she genuinely thinks her one-that-got-away lover sold a prized possession to demons. (the significance of these rings is in the stories of the previous two elizabeths). Well. Actually. He steals them while she's distracted with wedding planning. It doesn't go well for him from there.

Let me know your opinion: should I try finishing the third ellie and then publishing it? I can always go back and make a full story out of "purple ring" ellie + friends later.

Basically, the purple ring's story is as thus: Meliodas decides he needs to rest, "REALLY rest", since his emotional stress is beginning to affect his demon biology in a bad way, and voluntarily coma-tizes himself for a while. He wakes some time later only to find out Elizabeth and her new 'family' have been considering him as their good luck charm. (Maybe even more than one Elizabeth has passed by now. Probably the apothecary he visits figures out what Meliodas meant to do and goes to fetch him, too late, and looks after him . . . see, that could be a whole OTHER story in itself. anyway.) He's a "good luck charm" because his demon aura has been disgusing the magical signature of her druid family, not that they've figured this out. Meliodas tries to get up and run away with an injured Ellie but surprise surprise he hasn't quite recovered from what his body and mind has been through, and the combination of that and the drugs has left him critcially weakened. He actually collapses falls down a small cliff with her. Ellie assures him they've gotten far enough to shake off the people who are searching for her, that it's okay. Moreover, she understands more or less what he's going through, since she lost her leg a while back. They reuinte with Ellie's little "siblings," druid children the family has rescued along their journey.

Later ~ the main organizers of their group are shocked to return to their isolated cabin to find that not only have all the children survived the winter, and possible clashes with whoever's been hunting them for decades, but there's one extra child! And a talking cow. (I haven't decided whether some of these people are semi-antagonsists.) Meliodas's condition never improves (angst angst <3) but he takes up the task of looking after the kids alongside Elizabeth anyway- especially when she and the others are gone, working or otherwise. Oftentimes he and the spunky talking cow go on adventures in the forest or in town, collecting herbs or materials for crafts and toys. She carries him, Hawk-style. I can't remember her name but it was a silly one, and he saves her life once with his wings. He's also fought away intruders once while the 'adults' weren't home with Full Counter, being able to stand for long enough to use it before collapsing.

In this iteration, Meliodas recieves his ring from his new 'siblings' as they say that "it's the same color as the magic you used to protect us." Referring to the times he's used his demon magic around the house, and, unknowingly, to the fact his very presence has been the only thing keeping them safe from raiders on more than one occasion. Throughout it all Meliodas struggles with having to be the one cared for for once, and not being able to be the muscle of this group that so clearly would benefit from him being his 'usual' self. While his siblings think he's a genuine gift from God, and are more than happy to look after him as he does them, trading stories between them and cuddling up like he truly belongs, adult members of the family never take a shine to him and resent him somewhat, even perrfering when he was comatose. There's more (and more angst) but I should probably say less.

4. (TW: this one gets DARK with the demon brothers angst) modern fantasy ireland boarding school au" is actually another gift for @gh0stofyesterday, who can't escape me, from back in like feburary or something lol. It's an angsty modern-day genderqueer demon brothers and genderqueer elizabeth. Basically Meliodas tricks his snooty father into letting him and his brother (who's not technically old enough but academically girlboss yourself outta that condundrum zeldris) go to boarding school in his deceased mother's home country, where Meliodas plans to study interior design (he's gonna design the boar hat himself <3) and, against his father's wishes, join the gymnastic team. Little does he know that his online friends in his tween gymnastics discord server or whatever (The TC) are also going to end up there. ( I have the scene where they realize he's not the snooty daughter of the DK ceo and actually their Captain planned out already actually. they realize it when he beats the snot out of some guy that chases zeldris through the gymnasium lol).

Other plot points include! Elizabeth and Meliodas have a secret online romance as "Study buddies" and plan to perform a ceremony to use whatever their magic is unsealed to share a bit of that magic with each other, as a kind of marriage ceremony (peak 14 year old romance lol). Meliodas and Zeldris learn (originally Irish) sign language in order to communicate without their father snooping. Cusack and Chandler deal with being technical slaves to the Demon King and attempt to parent their protegees in more important ways than teaching them fencing, keeping their secrets, and buying them things. Gelda explains she never cuddles with her sisters for emotional support, Zel and Mel feel sorry for her . . . then figure out they are touch-starved and probably need therapy for that too. Hot springs date. Zel discovers Mel has been cuddling him while laying on his side specifically because there are fresh child abuse wounds across his back. Meliodas commandeers his gymnastics coach's coaching authority and starts an underground fencing ring upon being told he can't do that (we go to school in a castle! c'mon!). Zeldris tries to deal with a ginger-haired kid who seems equally hellbent on being his friend as he is his school rival. Depending on how dark I'm gonna make this, you might even get to see a prolouge where Zeldris forgoes a plan to murder - suicide his brother following his mother's funeral after meeting a small Gelda at the playground. Oh, and the DK having to fidgit uncomfortably in court. This one is basically a for-fun daydream, but a pal volunteed to beta it for me so it will eventually get written up for you all!

[retiredteabag]

Wishful Thinking - chapter one

arranged marriage with Nanami with a people-pleasing reader

next part - series masterlist

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

Nanami Kento was not in a sorcerer clan. In fact, he was the only sorcerer in his family. You had met him only once before you had been informed of the engagement, and in that brief interaction you had decided you knew exactly what type of man he was.

"It's a pain." had been his harsh words. Vitriol clear as day in his tone.

When asked what he felt about being a sorcerer his response had been that it was…a pain? Being the reserved individual he was, he didn't take the time to elaborate despite the questions of the sorcerers surrounding him.

You had rolled your eyes in that moment. Clearly, he had no sense of responsibility. No duty. I suppose that's what it means to not be in a clan. You had thought. He’s got no idea how good he has it.

And even though you chalked his image up in your mind as an irresponsible and pretentious git. The memory of his brutal gaze stuck in your mind. You knew deep down that it was simply jealousy.

Sorcery was a pain, there had been many instances where you wished you could put it aside and leave this world, but that was simply not what you were born for.

All those months ago, you had left the meeting with the Jujutsu higher-ups resentful. How lucky that man in the suit was, to not have an obligation to fulfill exactly what the clan heads asked of him. How free he must feel.

But, oh, how wrong you had been.

--

You had known your marriage was impending, having had meetings with your father and his subordinates on several occasions to discuss the offers from other clans.

Offers for your hand.

Offers for the rest of your miserable life, for your body, for your fertility, offers to impregnate you, and nothing much else.

You had been picky, of course, having known all your life this was forthcoming you were expecting to not have to rely on Zenin blood to uphold the family name.

Your father was no kind man but if there was one thing he was, it was prideful. If even his measly daughter could brush aside an important clan born man, he too could wait for a finer offer to come.

Back then, you had no idea that would lead to this.

You stood before a full-length mirror. Your dress came below your ankle, the neckline nothing short of chic modesty.

By all accounts and by the people serving you, you were expected to be prepared.

Your wedding was nothing special, a formality, nothing more. Clans from across Japan were here to see the ceremony. Still, your heart pounded as you gulped at your reflection. A shakily deep breath brought you little comfort as you squeezed your hand into a fist.

You knew little of the man you were to marry.

Here was what you had:

He was NOT a Zenin. Hallelujah.

He was not from any clan. (This had come as a shock to you, your father having only explored offers from fellow clan heads, you had no idea how this arrangement was to be made until Gakuganji, the principal of your school, Kyoto Jujutsu High, and one of the more powerfully cruel higher-ups, had arrived at your families estate, enlisting a "fine candidate" for your immanent marriage. He had seemed certain. Immovable.)

And last of the information you had, he was seemingly strong enough for your father to deem his ability to produce "quality children" acceptable. He was a grade 1 sorcerer, nothing to scoff at.

You knew your father would not have accepted the offer of a man without heritage if the higher-up’s had not endorsed it. Even now you wondered why they were so keen on this matrimony.

And that was all you had.

"You look beautiful." A maid from the estate was arranging your hair, she moved quickly, with a soft hand. You hardly noticed her. "I've heard he is a very gentle man," She starts up again after your eyes narrowed in the reflection of the mirror, "if that's any consolation." The women ends in a whisper.

You huff out a breath, "Thank you."

That's what they all say.

You wonder if she was lying to you. This morning you had heard your mother crying in your bedroom after you had made up your sheets for the last time. It made you sad, knowing she was afraid for you.

Afraid you would turn out like her.

You swallow with some effort and look up to the maid at your side, she smiled at you.

"It looks lovely." You say, assuming she wanted praise.

She lays a hand on your shoulder and her smile crinkles in a funny way, "He is very handsome." Her eyebrows tilt in a telling fashion, she almost giggles.

Great.

What were you to say to that?

"I... see." You look at the floor and turn away from your reflection. All that was left was for your father to arrive. To take your hand in an uncomfortably tight grip and lead you down the aisle to the man that was decided to be the father of your children.

"Is there anything you would like, before I leave you? It won't be long now..." The maid tries to meet your gaze so you look up to her face once more.

"No, there's nothing, thank you for helping me." You try to smile at her but your throat hurts from the brief amount of talking you have already done.

The women nods her head, she turns to go but hesitates at the door, for a moment you think she is going to turn and speak to you, to say something as a comfort perhaps, but just as her body holts to grip the door, the hinges swing away and your father steps in.

"Move out of my way. Move! Out!” Your father shoves at the women who had been by the threshold and she escapes out the door with a hushed apology and not a glance at yourself.

You stand before him. Resolved to not shutter in these moments. Neither of you speak until he swings his arms and says,

"Well, are you coming?"

You almost want to laugh. How you wish you could look up at the domineering man and say, no I don't think I am, but you knew better, and although he extends no arm to you, you take the few steps to his presence and heave a sign.

"Stand up straight. Serve us well."

You knew those would be all the words you heard from him tonight, as unhappy as you were to be married to a strange man, you felt pleased to know you would no longer be living in your clans estate, just as you knew your father would be glad to be rid of you.

Your fathers movements seemed all too fast. His steps, his reaching for your arm, his pulling you out the door and into the hall.

You felt as if time was slowing but those around you weren't effected. Your father huffed angrily, tugging you along. This was happening too fast. You didn't want this. You weren't ready.

You wiped the sweat from your palms over the satin dress hanging on your waist. The collar that once seemed elegant was starting to choke you. The door to the ceremony was drawing closer, you could hear music but it was almost as if the closer you came, the foggier it sounded.

Echos of your mother’s cries this morning permeated your brain. You knew you were asking for too much. But in those last moments before your autonomy would be taken from you, you had only one wish.

That the maid was right. That the man at the alter would truly be a gentle creature...would be tender....would be mild?

The doors were swinging open. The light was bright, but you did not dare to raise a hand to block its assault. You walked slowly, arm tightly locked in your fathers grasp. You noticed the clan leaders in the audience, but as your eyes tried to take in the man at the front of the room, you stuttered in your steps.

Hoping your father would take no notice, you tried to recall how you knew the man who was meeting your eye.

You began to put together who this man was, having met him before, though you hadn't been introduced. That one interaction had showed you he would not have been a man you would want to live the rest of your days with. He had seemed unhappy in those moment.

Fear shot through you.

An unhappy husband was more dangerous than any curse you had faced.

Having stared long enough, you drop your gaze from his own piercing one. You almost want to smile, but you're unable to.

Maybe he isn't as free as you thought he was. Poor him.

You wonder how he even managed to get in this predicament as the music began to come to its end. You're stepping up onto the platform that your future husband stood upon, your ankle wobbles in the heels that were chosen for you.

In a flash you see his arm reach out for you but you’re only confused, shrinking back a bit father from him.

You look to meet his gaze once more. He's barely a few breaths from you. His eyes seem focused on your face.

The officiant is talking but you cannot hear him.

You realize one of two things in this particular moment, one, the maid was right about something, this man was remarkably handsome. And second, you realize you're feeling quite faint.

The dress had not been so hot before you were standing before this man in front of all these people under the shine of all these lights. You swallow, dig your nails into your palms, the officiant seems to be speaking to the man before you and it isn't long before your husband speaks out a low, "I do."

You feel as though you must pay attention, your bit is coming up now and you would hate to embarrass your family, but you can hardly hear the man over the pounding in your ears. A prick of sweat starts to form on the back of your neck.

There is a pause in the mans speech, he looks at you intently, after a moment he raises a brow.

Oh, right. "I do." You say.

You look anywhere but your husband. Knowing you weren't expected to kiss, you try to take in some more air. This was it.

The officiant hands something to the man before you.

He's so tall. The suit he is wearing seems to fit him perfectly, and you can’t help wondering who helped him here today if he had no clan members.

His arm is suddenly in front of you, palm up. It takes you but a moment to know what he is asking for. You brace yourself and set your hand within his own.

He places his other hand onto yours for a moment, engulfing your hand in his grasp. You are shaking, you know you are, but with everything going on in this very moment, you are hoping he won't notice.

A ring is being slipped onto your finger. Good, now your turn.

He hands you his own, a plain ring of gold.

Don't drop it. Do not drop it. Don't-

You miss his ring finger once before finally sliding it on. You hope no one noticed. You pull your hand free of his first and look to your father in the crowd.

This was it, right?

There was an echo of the efficient, "I now pronounce you husband and wife", and the group before you claps in respect.

The man who you had just married is bending down to your ear, but he doesn't say anything. You look him from your peripheral vision, and he is tilting his head down the aisle a bit.

Ah, yes. Your hand is in his own as you go back down where you just came. Your life is forever changed now.

So much lay before you, so much for you to worry about, but the one thing on your mind in this moment is how the grip of your husbands hand is infinitely more pleasant than the aggressive clasp your father had on you.

You hope against hope, that maybe, you would never feel the harsh grip of a man again.

But that was too wishful, was it not?

[pholla-jm]

Meet My Wife

IMAGINE: MEET MY WIFE~ LUFFY X F!READER GENRE: FLUFF warnings: f!reader implied. not proof read. slight cursing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luffy seemed more excited than usual. I mean, he’s always bouncing off the wall. But it was like he was expecting something and he couldn’t wait for it. 

“What do you think he’s excited about?” Chopper asks Nami.” She just sighs and waves her hand around, “knowing him. He’s probably excited about food.” 

Little did they know, they were about to be in a world of shock. 

Luffy did not waste a single second jumping off the boat as soon as it docked. He continued to run straight into town, like he knew exactly where he was going. 

The rest of the crew just watched him, some in confusion and some of them looked exhausted. Sanji sighs, taking a deep breath of his cigarette. “He’s most likely going to cause trouble.” Nami sighs, already feeling a headache form because of her idiot captain. 

However, it wasn’t food or a new adventure that got him this excited. No, it was someone who was very important to him. He remembered the instructions very clearly. He couldn’t forget it. Just follow the path, there are going to be white flowers along the path. It should lead all the way down to a small house with flowers and different plants all around the place. 

His eyes grew wide seeing the variety of plants and flowers, knowing that you had planted these yourself. The door opens and a large smile covers his face. 

“(y/n)!” He shouts, grabbing your attention. He ran at you, full force and it looked like he wasn’t going to stop. You drop the empty basket you were carrying, fully prepared for him to throw himself onto you. 

And you were right. His body crashes into you. His arms and legs wrapping around you, and he nuzzles his face into your cheek. The first thing he notices is how soft your skin feels against him. The second thing he notices is how sweet you smell. You smelled like fresh laundry, but with a hint of something sweet, like you were just baking. 

“Luffy.” You softly say with a smile on your face. “I didn’t know you were going to be here so soon… I missed you.” You whisper the last part. “I missed you too.” Lufffy pulls back, letting you go a bit. “Are you making something?” He asks. 

You nod your head, “yes. It’s actually almost done. Would you like to try some?” He immediately nods his head yes and you laugh. “I don’t know why I asked. Of course you would. Come inside.” 

He completely lets you go now, and you pick up the empty basket heading back inside. 

The sweet scent is stronger and Luffy basically salivates at the smell. You grab a cloth, pulling out the fresh strawberries and cream croissants. There were only a few, since you weren’t expecting company. 

“Careful, they’re hot.” You say but he doesn’t care. He’s already stuffing his mouth with a croissant. 

His eyes widen and there’s a smile on his face. “They're so good!” He says while grabbing another one. You laugh, “wait. Save one for me.” You grab the last one, taking a bite of it. You were glad how good they came out. 

Once he scarfs down the second croissant, he looks at you and clears his throat. “You should meet my crew!” He says like it was another Tuesday.  

Your eyes widen. “Really?” You ask and he nods his head. “Of course!” You suddenly got nervous and wondered what his crew was like. They had to be nice, right? Luffy only accepted the best of the best. So what would they think of you?

“Like right now?” 

Luffy stands up, “yeah!” He grabs onto your arm and drags you out of the small house. 

“W-wait! Wait! Let me at least clean myself up.” You try to tell him but it falls upon deaf ears. 

You were now leaving your property, and Luffy must've thought you were moving too slow because he suddenly picks you up bridal style. His arms securely wrapped underneath your legs and the other one supporting your back. 

You let out a small gasp, surprised at the action. It had you a bit flustered as he ran back to what you could assume was his ship. 

He was running for about five minutes until the both of you arrived at the port. Multiple ships lined up on the dock, but there was one that stood out to you. A ship with a sheep head. It was… cute. 

You could see people walking on the ship, minding their own business. Until they spot their captain holding some girl. 

The redhead girl gasps, gaining the attention of the other crewmates. 

“Holy shit, Luffy! Did you kidnap someone?!” Nami shouts, a bit horrified. 

Luffy just laughs as he jumps onto the ship, causing you to let out a short yelp at the unexpected height change. 

“No,” Luffy laughs while placing you down, “I want you to meet my wife.” He announces causing everyone on the ship to gasp. Your eyes widened and your cheeks warmed up at his announcement. There was no way he still thinks that the wedding was real…

“What?!” A blonde male shrieks, “you’re telling me that this idiot right here is actually married.” “Yup!” Luffy says with a proud smile on his face and his fists on his hips. “No, I don’t believe it.” Another male says while shaking his head. 

“Well believe it. We kissed and everything. It was official.” He says, causing you to cover your face in embarrassment. You had no idea that Luffy was going to introduce you like this. 

The blonde male cries out, shouting how unfair the universe was. 

“(y/n).” Luffy says while grabbing onto your wrist. He pulls you forward, “I want you to meet my crew!” 

He points at the blonde, “that’s Sanji, our cook.” He then points at the woman, “Nami, our navigator.” He then points at the curly headed man, “Usopp, aaaaand,” he points at the sleeping man with green hair, “Zoro.” 

“Everyone, this is (y/n). My wife!” He pulls you again. This time you were pressed up against him. You honestly felt like you were on fire. 

You wondered how strange this must've looked for them. And you honestly wanted to clear things up.

“B-but Luffy.” You whisper, gaining his attention. “We got married as kids. Kids, Lu.” You emphasize the words kid, hoping that he would get the hint. 

“Oh, yeah.” He says like he almost forgot something important, “I have these.” He pulls out two rings. The same poorly made rings that were made as kids. 

You grab one of the rings, feeling the familiar flutter in your heart. Luffy smiles, “I think they’re too small now. But that’s okay. We can make new ones.” 

A blush dusts your cheeks. It was really sweet that he still considers you his wife. “Yeah… that actually sounds really nice.” 

“Shishishi, I knew you would like that.”

Well... maybe things didn't have to be cleared up right away. Let the crew think the strange things.

[beloveds-embrace]

duke au angst, but könig isn’t a knight. He’s either not in it and reader just sinks into a pit of depression and withdrawals so much that rumours start speculation around the ton that reader is either dead or murder and it starts to take a toll on john reputation (they start going after why him, simon, johnny and kyle are so close) or a könig is an Austrian duke/way closer to royalty and when he’s over for business with John and/or simon, he and the reader hit it off (much to the boys dismay) and reader plans on leaving without a word, leaving nothing more than a vague letter that details why and a set of divorce papers (helped achieved by könig) and by the time they realise their mistake readers already living the high life in austria

….okay but the first one’s got me downright obsessed, anon 😩 second one too and i feel like i will absolutely end up caving and writing it later but for now, have this!

Angst dukedom post

Non-angst dukedome post(no konig in this one)

No but seriously, there is only so much you can take. Between everyone’s dismissal of you, the lack of any meaningful company, the loneliness- it was only a matter of time before you just… can’t do it anymore.

The change, though it starts slow, is impossible to hide. You stop having dinner with John, finding no solace in the taste of lukewarm, half-heartedly prepared food. You tell yourself it’s not worth it- the stilted conversations, the empty looks, the way his eyes always drift to anything but you. He’s too busy sharing hidden glances with Kyle, exchanging quiet touches with Johnny when he hand delivers the food, speaking to Simon with an intensity that has never been for you.

You stop attending the endless galas and balls you are meant expected to attend as the Duchess. You withdraw from the tea parties, from every suffocating event where you were paraded as nothing more than an ornament on Duke Price’s arm. You withdraw from the public eye itself.

Instead, you drift through the duchy, through the rooms that are suddenly empty when you arrive. You drift to and fro, in a haze of lonelinthat and slow-setting exhaustion.

The maids whispered of you before, but it used to be out of your earshot; now, you can hear them clearly, none of them afraid of being punished when not even your own husband can stand your sight. They mutter about how sickly you look, how your eyes are dull and lifeless.

She’s wasting away.

Maybe it’s for the best.

No one can love someone who fades into the walls.

But of course, the whispers aren’t just within the duchy. Rumors ripple out beyond the duchy’s walls-

The Duchess has gone mad, they say. Locked away by her husband, for her own good.

She ran away in the dead of night, they say. Couldn’t bear her husband’s coldness. Maybe he drove her to it.

He’s always with Duke Riley, isn’t he? Or the butler. Or the chef.

Poor thing. No wonder she vanished.

All of it gnaws and bites at John’s reputation, at yours, but he never comes to you and it doesn’t surprise you at all. He would rather find a way to bury it all then simply check on you. The facade has always been more important, and he keeps it with half-hearted excuses half-believed by some and dismissed by others.

But they are relentless, and soon they taint every interaction he has. No one meets him without a hint of suspicion in their eyes. How much of it is true, they seem to ask. What did you do to her? Is she really gone? She was a good woman, how could you do that to her? There is more scrutiny now on the time he spends with Simon, with Kyle, with Johnny. He starts to avoid public events himself, unwilling to face the relentless gossip that hangs over him now like a dark cloud.

Eventually, you stop dressing for the day, leaving your hair unkempt, your gowns crumpled and out of style. No one comes to check on you, the maids happy at having less work, and you tell yourself that you prefer it that way. No eyes to judge. No lips to lie. The solitude is nothing new, even if it’s never been this severe before.

Time blurs, too. You stop looking at the newspapers when they stop being delivered. The days mean nothing when every morning brings only a new kind of numbness, and some days you spend entirely in bed, too tired to even think about taking a step outside.

Yet, even with your noticeable absence, nothing changes. No one knocks on your door, not even once. No one checks to see if you’re eating, breathing, surviving. You feel so achingly lonely.

John doesn’t approach you once. You have become a specter, more distant than ever. And though he and the others feel a creeping sense of guilt- Kyle finds himself lingering outside your door, only to turn away with clenched fists; Johnny’s jokes die in his throat when he hears your name; Simon stares at the spot you used to take during the dinners and lunches he’d join; John stares at the very few portraits of you that line the walls and wonders how he’d even go about approaching you- none of them move to truly mend the gaping distance between you. They regret their neglect, but they do not know how to fix it. Or maybe they are simply too late.

dukedom au masterlist Part Two: Fix-it

[k0mmari]

SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN PT.3

Too tired to do my obligations, but too stressed out to sleep, so here we find ourselves again.

This, once again, got horribly long- so long, in fact, I think this is the longest post in this 'trilogy'-, so I apologize in advance (╥ᆺ╥;) I also apologize for the lack of doodles, but dont worry! Im preparing a special one for later <33

After that night where SY offered Binghe an umbrella, things have certainly… changed. Unlike before, where SY spent most of his time mapping away at the ridiculously complex castle hallways and carefully marking away which times it was most likely for SY to be able to get close to Xin Mo, alongside doing his ‘servant’ duties of gathering dirty laundry and cleaning a room here and there, his routine had been suddenly adjusted; now, while he still needed to do everything he was doing before, his servant duties consisted of accompanying the chosen Wife Of The Day.

Or, well, that’s how one of the higher ranking staff had put it, that he was to attend to whatever wife Lord Luo decided to entertain for the day, but honestly, SY was starting to suspect that that had been a convoluted way for Binghe to have SY around whenever he wanted, which…. Was frankly quite worrying! To have the golden protagonist keep his eyes glued on his back almost every second they were in the same room, which - if SY looked back- usually led to Binghe looking away in a (bad) attempt to pretend he wasn’t glaring daggers at SY was more than enough for SY to think the Emperor was probably plotting his demise.

What else could it be? Specially with the way Binghe’s hand seemed to always be lightly tugging at the tassel on his hair every time SY caught him looking, he suspects Binghe had caught onto SY not actually being a servant, and instead that weird guy he saw before he fell into hell that one time. What if Binghe thought SY was somehow involved into the Abyss Incident?? Lord Luo, please have mercy on this servant!

Though, maybe the strangest part of it all, was that sometimes Binghe and SY would just… talk. Usually when the Wife Of The Day was doing something else (e.g. playing music for her husband, or practicing archery, or doing anything that didn’t involve LBH 100% at her side), Binghe would just start musing out loud about the strangest things. It started with questions that were all fair to ask, like ‘How come this servant is a human in the demon realm’, or ‘How come this servant has such short hair’ (SY bullshitted something about being a former slave) but eventually it shifted to questions that were a bit more… random. Or, well, not even questions, musings that Binghe muttered out loud but clearly wanted SY’s input.

It started with minimal things, like Binghe wondering about some type of monster he wanted to fight but he forgot how to do it without damaging the fur too much, which, after a minute of silence and a not-so-subtle look at SY, led to SY nerding out and saying not only the monsters weakness, but what could be done with every important part of the body. Though, the day after that SY realized how strange it was that Binghe was wondering that out loud, since he only fought that monster well into his time as an Emperor, and he swore he remembered one of the wives gushing about her new bracelet that was made from the rare bones of that creature just a few days ago…

Anyways, it continued with questions of similar nature: musings on how to kill a monster Binghe would have no problem killing, to what he should eat for dinner, to what gift should he get for Wife Of The Day. Of course, SY answered all the ‘questions’, and sometimes they even made it to having an actual conversation! Sure, it was a little stilted, SY could not figure out for the life of him why the great Lord Luo was interacting with a random servant, but one day it all finally clicked to him. Binghe had been in the middle of ‘musing’ about hair oils(??), when SY couldn’t help but interrupt him:

“Ah…. Apologies if this lowly servant is overstepping, My Lord, but does My Lord just want someone to talk to?”

A few emotions flashed through Binghe's face quickly enough for SY to not be able to decifer any of them, but eventually landing on a sheepish smile. "This Lord has been found out."

Oh, how cute! And how sad! SY had noticed when SQH was just showing him his shitty story how sad that LBH, even after getting the world to bow at his feet, never really had friendships. Sure, he still had all the love he could want, but sometimes people need friends to talk to, not lovers!

While he knew that he shouldn't interact with characters in world overlooked by the System unless they were transmigrators, SY couldn't help but feel that the situation was dire enough that LBH would turn to a no-name servant in this time of desperation. And it would be a great opportunity to study Xin Mo more closely as well! If SY showed LBH the wonders of friendship, maybe he could pass by his supervisor that he only had to do what was necessary for this world to not implode on itself.

Besides, who could even say no to such a handsome man such as LBH? Is as the old saying goes: what the protagonist wants, he shall have.

*

SY's friendship plan has been going great! After figuring out Binghe's intentions, it seems all of the protagonists reservations flew out the window, and SY was now responsible for being Binghe's personal retainer. Not that that meant too much, since Binghe liked to bend the rules to his liking, and some tasks that should be SY's responsability sometimes were pushed to another servant or Binghe himself made them (which, ???)

Mostly, SY stood at Binghe's side, served tea, was used so Binghe could bounce ideas off of someone, and tended to finer details. All of that very much manageable, if not for the weird mood swings LBH would have sometimes. Yuan, as he has told Binghe was his name after being too scared of the repercutions of using 'Shen', was to accompany him all the time, but sometimes not all the time, or else LBH would get moody; Yuan was to listen to LBH's ideas and plans, and should always comment back or else Binghe would feel neglected, but not too much or else, as LBH had put it, could 'bring back bad memories'; Yuan was to tend to LBH's night routine, even as far as to brush his hair, and if he refused LBH (again) get all moody, but he couldn't brush too much, and he had to do at least one braid but NEVER touch the old, frizzy braid that still had that damn tassle-

Honestly, it was a careful game of balance, which reminded SY more often than not of a child that got mad when their older sibling didn't quite understand the redundant rules they made for a make-believe. Any other person would get fed up, and probably scared of Binghe's constant mood swings, but SY had him all figured out, and his resilience proved to be useful time and time again, since most of the time after his sour mood passed, Binghe would come crawling back with the most pitiful face ever, and what was SY to do? As LBH's friend, it was his duty to hug him and pat his head! (And no one could judge him for that, since if he didn't pat Binghe's head, his mood would plummet all over again.)

Though... SY did feel kind of bad. He wouldn't be able to stay with Binghe forever, and would even need to potentially steal his all-powerful sword for a little bit so everything wouldn't get corrupted. Honestly, the only thing keeping SY from worrying about being labled as a traitor and potentially getting killed was that he would just go back to the System's office and go on with his life.

*

LBH, eventually, caught onto SY's plan on leaving - really, it was only a matter of time. After that fateful encounter with that other SQQ, LBH had found himself in rather pitiful state, questioning everything he knew until that moment and wondering why he couldn't achieve that happiness, and desperately trying to search for a SQQ of his own. He had contemplated going back to that first world, but what would it even matter? Even if he took SQQ by force, his heart would still be with that other LBH, and Binghe couldn't bear the thought that he wouldn't be everything in SQQ's world, as he had become for LBH.

Specially after Meng Mo had one day interupted his carefully crafted dream of an idelic world and pointed out some curious memories he'd almost forgotten about. That day, when back in his childhood, when he'd been beaten up by a buch of older kids and hallucinated a man in strange clothes before passing out and waking up protected from the rain. Or when he thought he'd lost his jade pendant forever, only to magically appear in the cabin later.

Or the strange man in the Immortal Alliance Conference.

After SQQ- SJ , that good-for-nothing scum- pushed him to the Abyss, he tried his best to never think about that day again, too scared by how weak he'd been, pleading to man that would sell his soul for one more night at that brothel of his if he could, but now... Now that he could mold his dreamscape any way he wanted, he could look back with a clear mind, which eventually led to the conclusion: It must have been the same person. The same strangely dressed man that helped him in his childhood somehow appeared at the Immortal Alliance again, and even had left provisions right next to where Binghe had fallen.

He'd convinced himself, after many, many years of wishing for a miracle, that he's simply imagined the man, one last thread to keep himself from going insane, but after meeting the other SQQ...

And then Yuan came in. A new servant that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

It took some observation, and a lot preparing himself to face dissapointment that maybe he was just projecting, putting the image of someone else onto a random man, but that day, when LBH was wondering if he was just wasting time, that that beautiful dream of having his version of SQQ would not happen any time in this world, that maybe he really should just go look at other worlds; after all, if it happened once, it had to happen again, right? Not that it mattered in the end, since while he spireled, much to Xin Mo's pleasure, an umbrella was put over his head, and all his doubts had washed away.

Yuan had to be his version of SQQ, it had to be. And after all his effort of getting close to him, after going so far to keep Yuan at his side, even if he still battled with that his perception of SJ and the other SQQ sometimes overlapping with Yuan's image, even if he still wasn't ready to let go of that one braid, he was becoming more and more sure in his assumption that his SQQ had come to him. Everything was going as planned, and LBH was in track to finally begin to properly court him, and yet-

He was sure Yuan wanted to leave. He wasn't sure why, not how he would do that, maybe just dissapear like he had all those years ago and either only appear again 5, 10, 100 years in the future or go back to wherever he came from in the first place. But LBH knew Yuan wanted to leave, that he needed to complete whatever mission he had (after LBH managed to pry that out of his dreams, which where another source of confusion, with how absurdly difficult they were to even get a grasp of), and that, under any circumstances, he could let Yuan escape his sight.

Not again. Never again.

Binghe had become even stickier in the last few weeks. Not that SY minded, it was very cute to see such a different side from the cool, badass Lord Luo, but SY was running out of time. Since Binghe became stickier, his mood swings had worsened even more, now not wanting SY to be anywhere that Binghe wasn't, and Xin Mo seemed to be thriving off of whatever was making Binghe extra protective, though it was becoming a genuine problem now, since Binghe suddenly refused to see any of his wive's to deal with the Xin Mo problem, and he seemed to be on the verge of qi deviation at all times.

In fact, the only reason Binghe hadn't already qi deviated was because SY was abusing his Personal System and chipping away at the qi deviation in Binghe's night routine, since it was the only time where he was physically very close to Binghe and could spend long periods of time manually coding away at the System screen without it looking suspicious.

But, as if that wasn't enough of a problem, since Xin Mo was having the time of it's life recently, the virus clinging to the sword was also getting stronger, leaving even more residuals all along the castle and bordering on infecting Binghe himself.

His Scissors where thankfully, repaired, and his sweet, sweet manager was even kind enough to send him some extra energy supplies, but at the rate the virus was spreading, he was worrying that he would have to deal with the source as soon as possible or else it would become to strong to deal with it in a non-destructive way.

He... Didn't want to leave Binghe just yet, specially since he wanted SY's attention more than ever recently, but...

No, he needed to do this; their time together was never supposed to be eternal anyways, and if he let the virus spread, he would only be putting LBH's life in danger, and he couldn't continue living with himself after that. He decided he would fix the virus at night, while Binghe slept, and by the next morning he would be gone - he would have, after all, just enough energy to go back to the office.

He just hoped Binghe would be able to forgive him later.

When night came, and SY got to doing the usual night preparations, it just felt like an extra needle being stabbed in his heart when, while brushing Binghe's hair, Binghe looks back uncharacteristicly anxious, and asks if SY can undo the braid and remake it. SY does, and if Binghe notices SY takes extra long to pamper him that night, he says nothing.

When SY is sure Binghe is asleep, he sneaks out of his room and heads to back to Binghe's. Yeah, maybe he stalls a bit with snipping off every piece of the residual virus he came across, but one could argue he was just being extra thorough with his job.

The excuse, unfortunately, didn't last long and eventually he found himself in front of Binghe's room, staring at the door as if he was about to be sentenced to death. After a few minutes of reminding himself that he needed to do this, he took a deep breath and slowly opened the doors. Binghe usually slept with the sword perched right beside his bed, so SY would probably have to use the System and put Binghe in an extra deep sleep if he wanted to make sure the other didn't wake-

The moment he places a foot inside, though, he realizes something is wrong; the room is empty, Binghe is not asleep in his bed and Xin Mo is not besides the bed. Oh, oh no, had Binghe-

"A-Yuan." Binghe says, and SY nearly jumps as he turns around. There LBH stands in the middle of the hallway, not even in his sleeping robes, with a hand clutched tightly on Xin Mo's handle. His eyes are watery but no tears spill.

SY tries to speak but finds he doesn't even know what to say, he can't even try to deny that he's up to something, since his gigantic Scissors are just out an about. Still, he tries to make Binghe understand, say that he needs to do this, and after this Binghe won't have to worry about anything anymore. Though it barely seems like Binghe is listening, and eventually just cuts in when SY starts to say anything in his panic.

"This is what A-Yuan wants, right?" He asks, extending one arm and presenting the glitched out Xin Mo. SY doesn't even have the chance to find an excuse, as Binghe immediately continues. "Than take it."

"Wh- Huh?" "Take it."

He's so shocked he almost drops his Scissors. What does he mean 'take it'??? Binghe has to know everything that's at stake here! He doesn't even know what SY wants to do with it! He tries to say that, how Binghe shouldn't just hand the sword to anyone like that, but a sudden burst of energy set his priorities straight. Shit- The virus! It's growing by the second, at this point SY will have to cut Xin Mo-

"...Binghe, I-" "I don't care what A-Yuan wants with Xin Mo! Take it, use it, break it if you want, I don't care! But if A-Yuan takes it, than he will have to stay." "Binghe, that's not..." "Why not?! That's your goal, right? Do whatever it is that you want to do with Xin Mo? Than here you go, A-Yuan can do it, but I won't let you leave me again."

SY can't even mask when his eyes dart towards the tassle on Binghe's new braid. Binghe just clenched his jaw, but it feels like confirmation enough.

He adjusts his grip on the Scissors, and, as he has nothing else to hide, dispels the System's illusion, his simple clothes glitching out to reveal the System's uniform. Binghe's eyes fill even more with tears, but none fall."

"I... I'll have to go back, Binghe." "No." "Binghe, listen to me, I-" "No. No! A-Yuan will get Xin Mo, and then he will stay." "I-" "You will stay! I can't-" Binghe can't even finish his sentence before he has to choke out a sob.

The virus starts warping the air around it, and slowly crawling up Binghe's arm. SY's decision has practically been made for him. He lifts the Scissors. Binghe pushes Xin Mo forward.

"...I'll come back." "A-Yuan-" "I'll come back, Binghe." One single tear falls and his arm jerks, not knowing if he trusts SY's words or not. He still his arm as the Scissor blades encircle Xin Mo.

"A-Yuan..." "I'll come back, I promise." "..." "I promise."

"......Okay."

Shen Yuan cuts Xin Mo.

[sh1-n0bu]

i have noticed a small pattern of elves being on my latest fictional character obsessions and HEAR ME OUT!!

elf who has lived for hundreds upon thousands of years, who had experienced many of the things the world has to offer. sadness of bidding hundreds of farewells to the beauty of life and alliance of different races

elf who even after all his years of living still yet to find a love for himself. regal and seemingly detached to the concepts of relationships elves may be, even they get lonely. some nights feeling a little bit too long, a little bit too cold as they add another layer of blanket over themselves or reaching over to hug one of his puffy pillows like how he would hug his future lover. the coldness of being immortal seeping into his bones and making him shiver despite elves being above the concept of getting sick or feeling the cold temperatures

elf who runs into you by some chance meeting. maybe you were walking in the territory of elves without knowing it, maybe he purposely goes to human residences and towns, seeking adventure, excitement and change of pace. who immediately is enamored by you just by your smile that you flash his way, a kind one, a gentle one, to a nearby passenger. who falls in love with the callouses of your hand, the freckles, the small scars, the little bits of imperfection that marked you as clearly human, very much mortal, very much brittle but still with your own strength that he hasn’t felt before

elf bf who starts to court you the moment he realizes that you weren’t seeing anyone, bringing small gifts, exchanging knowledge, singing you soft ancient lullabies that no other mortal has ever heard before. maybe he finds himself writing a poem about you one day, describing your looks, your feelings, your everyday actions that you may see as mundane but ones he sees as just as courageous and beautiful in their own ways

elf bf who has never seen human flesh or bare skin before, finding the rippling biceps and toned legs of yours to be… curious. a tentative finger touching the muscles here and there, stopping you mid work as he inquires about them in a soft tone. elves of course were magical beings, blessed with magic and eternity and had no need to develop visible physical muscles till the point they become buff or beefy to some extent all due to their magic and ancient powers. the tips of his pointy ear twitching softly, eyes wide in wonder as you explain that contrary to his kin, your own develop muscles if they are put to work in physically demanding job for enough time

elf bf who over time, finds himself obsessively scribbling down any sort of new information about human anatomy on a journal, always asking you new things as he finds himself able to learn more despite having been alive for hundreds upon thousands of years. tracing the old faded scars on your body with the tip of his finger, counting the freckles, kissing the stretch marks as they were all you. regardless of how you see it, to him it was all you, together and healthy. you were alive even if you may have battle scars and he always makes sure to thank the stars as it was thanks to the tribulations you have conquered that you two were here now. staring eye to eye, touching your foreheads together as you whisper about mundane things

elf bf who one day sees you cut down a tree, cut a log off or prepare firewood and finds that he was imagining the bulge of your muscles against himself. big arms caging him in a bear hug, legs to support him and strong back that he could sink his nails into as he moans under you— hold. since when has his thoughts of you turned… impure? since when has he become turned on? sitting there on one of the logs with a painful strain against his pants as he swallowed the saliva that gathered in his jaw down, tearing his gaze away. no no, he really shouldn’t think of you as such, you were still in courting phase after all and elves were a race that took their romances and courting extremely important

yet regardless of his kin’s customs and traditions, your pretty elf bf couldn’t help but continue to stare. his gaze constantly seeking your figure out, seeing you just go through the motions of every life peacefully while he gets pathetically turned on by your actions as if he was still but a fledgling who learned of a kiss. chopping down trees for firewood, maybe you would work in front of a fire or heat for too long and get sweaty, removing one of the overtunics. maybe you’re just simply dragging a bucket full of water from the well, cranking the pulley as the muscles on your arms and back strained

elf bf who finds himself extremely aroused as his mind wanders to the gutters as he just shamelessly stares at your working form. oh, to feel those calloused hands touch his colder skin, palms smoothening over his creamy skin, and down his chest, his stomach and over his bulge. maybe you would tease the poor thing, tease him of how quick he is to get aroused, the pre of his half-hard cock weeping through his underwear and pants like he was some sore pathetic loser. a little virgin. bully him about being unable to use his cock, make him whine at your mean words as his hips weakly buckle under your exploratory hands

elf bf who couldn’t help but imagine the usual sweetness of your attitude gone, replaced by one that was just a tad bit meaner as you pushes his face down into the pillows of your bed, force his hands to stretch open his puckering hole for you to fuck senselessly. imagining you whispering all sorts of filth into his twitching ears, promising to breed him full, to use him to your heart’s content all night long as he whines and squeals like a little lamb caught in the nest of a hungry wolf. who couldn’t swallow down the quiet whimper coming from his throat as he imagined your hand grasping at his long locks, fisting it tightly as you yank him back, forcing him to arch his back and push the tip of your cock to bruise his guts even more

elf bf who waves off your worry when you had managed to hear the embarrassing noise that slipped past his lips, saying that he was having a bit of a sore throat. gods, he would love to actually whimper from having a sore throat of getting his mouth plowed all day by your fat cock head forcing his jaws wiiideee open

elf bf who couldn’t help but get a little needy in his kisses since then. hands that touched your muscles with curiosity now running over your skin as if trying to feebly seduce you. dropping things to the ground a bit too many times, following you close behind even as you told him that some of the work you needed to do required space and for him to be away for his own safety. who straddles your lap all snug, pushing his chest flush against your own as your simply daily evening kisses after dinner becomes a bit too heated. he definitely had little to no experience with the way his tongue kept licking at your lips meagerly, long fingers curling over your shoulders tightly while his bucking hips on your lap as he starts to get hard again

elf bf who has finally had enough of just his meager imaginations, tugging on the strings of your white tunic with shaky hands as he rambles about touching you, you touching him, feeling him, using him — anything dammit! use those hands of yours on him!

elf bf who soon realizes that he had perhaps bitten off more than he could chew when your hands grip at his hips, dragging his clothed cock against your thigh that had him whining like a cat in heat. meagerly, he tries to replicate what you just made him do, dragging his hips back and forth on your thigh but he all but just looks like an inexperienced bunny. which he probably was judging by the things he spoke to you about himself

elf bf who finds so much pleasure in simply grinding against your thigh for now, the precum of his now hard cock weeping through his pants, staining it into a darker color. all cute and red in the face that spread to his pointy ears, cute high pitched whines falling from his chewed up pink lips. a cute, surprised “a-aahn♡︎??” echoing in the room as you pull his eager body against your own. your chest to his back, hands loosely draped over the hip bone of his

elf bf who lets out the most embarrassing high pitched squeals when your hands travel up his body under his clothes, traveling more and more until teasing at his nipples. rolling your fingertips against the soft areola, squeezing and fondling his pecks as if they were breasts. who jolts in place when you pinch at the hardened buds, tugging at them to test the waters as he arches his back off of your chest, a filthy mewl falling as if he was being fucked stupid already

elf bf who blubbers out uncharacteristic words of “s-shensiitiivgh♡︎ n-no, don’t pinch the-eeengk♡︎♡︎!“ his pleads of your rough hands not torturing his sensitive nipples being replaced with an open mouthed wail when you place a kiss to the pointy tip of his ear. his ears were so sensitive! you knew that and now you were just being downright mean to him as you whisper filth into his ears of acting like a cooped up virgin for merely getting his chest played with. he wasn’t! he was way older than you! slurring out “how c-could you be sooh m-meanngk…♡︎?” as you lick a slow stripe up the pointy helix

elf bf who bucks his hips on your thigh, trying to bounce, trying to move away but ending up whining as his clothed cock grazes against your hardened muscles again. his cute nipples being tortured and groped by your hands, the delicate helix of his ears being assaulted by your wet kisses and licks. any time your hot breath spoke into his ears of how he was such a precious little thing, just like a bunny in heat, he would try to wiggle away. shaking his head with a weak sniffle, his mind churning into a mush as all he could do was to pathetically fuck his cock into your thigh, letting out a soft mewl everytime you buck your leg up to meet his shy excuse of thrusts, jumping in place

elf bf whose minds and body starts to feel weird. the room feeling stifling and your touch making his own skin heat up too much. who tries to tell you that he was feeling ‘odd’ and concerned, yet only to harshly thrust his hips back into your own arousal. eyes widening, a shudder running down his spine at the feeling. still clothed and hidden like his own but good grief, it just felt… so huge since he was sure your human dick couldn’t possibly be much bigger than his own. but no, it got him gulping down the saliva in his mouth

elf bf who bounces himself experimentally onto your own hardened, covered dick, feeling his balls brush against where he guesses is the tip of your strap. his earlier cute whines growing in volume as your torture of his sensitive spots grow worse, groping, squeezing, calling him too eager to get fucked, making him dumb and airheaded. the constant tugs to his chest, the words you spat into his mind so lovingly and the small actions of your hips thrusting up to meet his own weaker excuse of grinding

elf bf who’s voice grow more and more breathier, who finally loses it as he throws himself back against your chest, his head on your shoulder as he let out a wail of “h-hoowt!! t-too ahgg♡︎ haah anhg t-too hoounwt...♥︎!” as he cums into his pants, dirtying the material as a single glob or two of his sweet transparent arousal oozes out through the linen. the dark patch growing into a considerable size, his body racked with twitches and jolts as he cums untouched on your lap. precious little thing getting drunk on the feeling of sex and physical pleasure so much till the point he disregards all of his traditions, bending himself over onto the bed, his hand reaching back to tug you forward by the belt with a desperate whine and a cute blown wide pupils and twitching ears♡︎

⇨ meludir, lindir, legolas, maglor, mairon + whoever you like

[teambyler]

My video "A LAWYER'S EVIDENCE that Mike and Will become a romantic pair in Stranger Things" is out!

Many of you have followed me ( @teambyler ) or read my essays analyzing Byler (I've linked some of the most-shared ones below). I am actually also a LAWYER who has a YouTube channel called RONALD OFF THE RECORD, and I just released my big video on Byler! (I also have another YouTube channel with 45K subscribers that I mention in the video)

I'm prepared to put my professional reputation as a lawyer on the line to comment on a piece of science fiction, because goddammit this is important to me! It is not "delusional" to think Will and Mike will become a couple, and there is nothing wrong with you if want it to happen! This is a video essay I've been planning for at least SIX MONTHS, and I put a lot of work into it. Please share, and please leave comments. Enjoy! =D

0:00 Why this video 1:38 Hate for Byler on the internet 10:16 Case for Mileven 15:21 Case for Byler: Starting premises 17:56 If Will were a girl… 25:30 The evidence! 29:05 EXHIBIT A: The Snow Ball 31:34 B: Mike's reactions to El and Will being upset 34:21 C: Season 3 ending montage 39:16 D: Airport reunion 47:51 E: Rink-O-Mania argument 51:28 F: Heteronormativity, audience expectations 58:25 G: Throwing away the letter 59:55 H: 2nd heart-to-heart scene 1:05:43 I: Mike can't say he loves El 1:13:27 J: Platonic reunion 1:15:12 K: Will's role convincing Mike to say "I love you" 1:20:08 L: Effect of the "love confession" on El 1:39:54 M: The Painting Lie 1:43:22 Honorable mentions 1:45:27 Non-diegetic evidence 2:01:23 Actor statements 2:07:01 Season 5 information 2:10:34 NOT how you write an unrequited love story 2:16:07 Why Byler SHOULD happen (queerbaiting, etc.) 2:28:21 A more powerful story 2:35:45 A personal note

I'm now making this my new pinned post, so I'll list a few of my posts here for people to check out.

ADDITIONS: -28:00 On "We should normalize same-sex friends being affectionate, they don't have to be gay," I should have been clearer. HOMOPHOBIA is the reason for that stigma. Straight friends feeling like they can be affectionate in our society HAS to include normalizing LGBT+ people. -1:16:55 I should've said this more clearly: Will reminded Mike that who HE is, HIS unique qualities, make him worthy of love and make El love him, not dumb luck. And Will of course could convey that because Will loves the actual nerd MIke and everything he is. -1:17:06 Mike making El "not feel like a mistake" doesn't fit El, because she says that Mike looks at her "like I'm a monster, too". Nor did she "push you away because she was afraid of losing you". That's Will, not El. Mike felt love because Will was describing himself. -1:52:36 I forgot to mention that, in the original Nina opera, Nina's lover is ALIVE and DOES return. The Duffers changed the story so that Nina's lover does NOT return, to further suggest Mike won't return! -2:35:22 I'm kicking myself for not being more specific about Mike and Will being heroes in more than one way: I think the theme of bullying from s1 will return, with Will (and also Mike) having to face bullying for being boyfriends in Hawkins.

EDIT: I hit 1000 subs, only to discover THIS VIDEO CANNOT BE MONETIZED. ='( I think I put over 100 hours of work in this video, and this isn't sustainable for me unless I get support. This also means I can't make public videos with the same quality -- using show clips and music makes a stronger impact. I've considered deleting and reposting an edit, but that would losing all the wonderful comments and CUTTING OUT THE LAST SCENE. ='( ='( ='( NO. FUCKING. WAY.

So this is what'll happen: future videos NOT use clips and music to the same extent, except versions I post on my Patreon. And I need Patrons because I don't make money as a social-justice lawyer, and rely on that plus YouTube ads. Here's the Patreon link! (Any future video will be clipped, with the full version on Patreon) https://www.patreon.com/c/theruleslawyer

Some other @teambyler posts:

Mike was saying "I love you" to Will

Questions to ask if ever you have Byler doubt

How the Duffers have set Will up to have a happy ending in Season 5

The most heartbreaking way Byler can culminate (and how I predict it will) (I know this is less likely than an "escape from Camazotz" possession scenario, but I still want this to happen =D )

How the Duffers likely will make the general audience AWARE of Byler and CHEER for Byler

-teambyler

[cherrygirlfriend]

─── YOU'VE GOT MAIL .ᐟ

...or reader going to a football game.

★ pairing.ᐟ frat!rafe x nerd!reader

★ summary.ᐟ rafe cameron is the golden boy of kildare university; certified frat boy, captain of the football team, relentless party animal with lines of girls to sleep with.

reader couldn't be more different; while she has the best grades in the whole school, she suffers from social anxiety disorder, and her social life is limited to her three best friends and the cat she secretly snuck into her dorm room.

both of them decide to join the anonymous chatroom for their campus, and start talking to one another, a friendship starting to form between the two; but neither of them know how different the other is.

★ author's note.ᐟ and we’re back!! hi hi hi. sorry for no new part last week, i was busy as hell. ANYWAY we’re finally meeting reader’s friends !! also guess who managed to finish three different fics today… whew.

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

for the next two weeks, not a day went by that you didn't talk to MalachiConstant; the screen time on your phone almost having doubled. most of the time it was just surface-level stuff; talking about your days, about your interests... but at night, it... changed. it became genuine. real. like you were sitting under the stars together, talking about things that actually mattered.

MalachiConstant: y'know MalachiConstant: sometimes i kinda worry that i'm disappointing everyone around me

YOU: how come?

MalachiConstant: idk MalachiConstant: i feel like i'm fucking shit up all the time MalachiConstant: like i'm a screw up and disappoint everyone

YOU: well, i don't know if it helps, but.. YOU: you haven't disappointed me :).

MalachiConstant: knocking on wood

now, you were sitting with your friends at lunch, occasionally glancing down at your phone screen as if beckoning for the stranger to message you, your lips pursed in thought as the group around you kept chatting, wondering why the boy hadn't texted you all day.

"hey, everything okay?" one of your friends, zainab, asked, looking at you with widened eyes, startling you out of your little reverie. you turned to the girl sitting next to you, feigning a small smile, "yeah, everything's okay."

"she's being ghoooosteed." vivian teased you, causing you to roll your eyes.

"ghosted? by who?" emilia asked with excitement, vivian's statement clearly having piqued both her and zainab's interest.

"it's no one."

"she's lying." vivian grinned, drinking some of her iced latte, "she met someone on that website i recommended. kildareuchats. she told me they've been talking for a few weeks now."

"viv, i told you not to say anything." you groaned, hiding your face in your hand, feeling your cheeks warming up, your next words coming out in an awkward mutter, "only reason i told you was because you saw me text him in the first place..."

"whatever. the important thing is," vivian grinned widely, "our friend here thinks that he's a member of the football team."

"how do you figure that?" zainab asked, and you threw your hands up in slight frustration, "well, i don't know it for sure!" you said, "but he keeps talking about how he has practice, and... he does know a lot about football."

"hot. you're e-dating a football player. who would've thought?" emilia snorted, making you throw a singular fry her way. "i'm pretty sure they have a game tonight."

"oooh, we should go support your boyfriend." zainab squeezed your shoulder and you could feel your face turn warm with embarrassment, "we're not going. and he's not my boyfriend..."

"i can't believe i let you three talk me into this..." you grumbled under your breath, pulling your coat closer to your body, feeling the chilly autumn air in your bones as you sat on the bleachers, watching the game you understood nothing about; when you were younger, your father tried to get you into sports, but most of the time you simply snuck in a book so you wouldn't actually have to focus on it.

"don't try to play pretend." vivian nudged your shoulder and drank out of her slushie, "we all know you're dying to see your cyber-boyfriend."

"again, he's not my boyfriend."

"but you wish he was. bet you've already made him in the sims, and you two have a brood of pixel-kids."

"i don't even know what he looks like."

"well, if it is someone from the football team, he's gotta be at least semi-attractive. have you seen their group picture?" emilia snorted, "everyone is somewhere between seven and ten."

"it's definitely not thornton." vivian snorted, "dude has the emotional capacity of a slinky."

"viv, you do know that that's a dig on yourself?" you raised your brows, "don't think any of us forgot what happened between you two."

"jokes on you." the pink-haired girl stuck her tongue out at you, "i've already forgotten all about it."

"that's what happens when you spike your slushie with vodka."

"don't act like you could focus on this shit sober. besides, this is not about who i've slept with. this is about who you're dying to sleep with." vivian winked and took another sip of her slushie.

"well," you pursed your lips in thought, "he's in a fraternity."'

"that does narrow it a little bit..." zainab mumbled, "maybe maybank? i mean, you did have a crush on him for like, the entirety of freshman year."

"it wasn't a crush!" you held your hands up, "it was... a mere fascination. he had nice hair."

"ah, yes. you were having wet dreams about his hair." vivian snorted, and you smacked her forearm, pursing your lips into a pout as you looked at the field, "how about... mason? he's got that whole broody, mysterious smart guy vibe going for him. he definitely reads vonnegut."

"dodge is a pretty valid option. though, i don't know if chatrooms are his style." emilia tsked, "what about the captain? cameron?"

that suggestion caused vivian to snort and smack the other girl's shoulder, "rafe cameron? yeah, he definitely isn't the type to do that. i think his longest relationship was when a girl accidentally fell asleep in his bed after they hooked up, and he was too drunk to kick her out."

your eyes went to number 9, the name 'cameron' written above his number, making you shake your head and look away before you spoke quietly, "this is stupid. i don't need to know who he is. i don't want to know who he is." vivian wrapped her arm around your shoulder, tugging you close in a comforting gesture; you knew there was truth to your words, but you also knew that the reason you didn't want to know the identity of MalachiConstant was that you knew he'd be disappointed to know who you truly are. to know, that the girl he'd called witty and funny several times actually couldn't tell a joke without stuttering.

after the football game ended with your team winning, the four of you were making your way away from the field, only to hear someone calling out behind you

"viv! vivian, wait up!"

you turned your head to look at who was so eager to talk to your friend, a small snort leaving your lips, nudging vivian's side, "viv, it's your slinky." your friend looked at you with furrowed brows, following your line of sight to topper, the girl letting out an exasperated groan, "is it too late to hide?"

"hey, viv." topper gave the girl a lopsided grin that he surely thought was charming, his face slightly red from the game, "you came."

"most of the school came." vivian gave the boy a narrow, feigned smile before taking another slurp out of her slushie, "whatcha want, thornton?"

"well," the blonde scratched the back of his head while emilia, zainab and you grinned at one another, a strange contrast to the unamused expression on the pink-haired girl's face, "we're having a party, at our frat house. you should come if you feel like it."

"i'll think about it."

"you can bring your friends." topper glanced at the three of you briefly before his focus was fully on vivian once again, "hope to see you there."

"maybe." vivian said, turning around and continuing to walk away, the three of you following behind her, trying your best to control your laughter, "don't say a thing." she warned.

"come on, you've gotta come with me." vivian pouted, spinning around in your office chair, "i can't go alone, z doesn't do parties and em has an essay to finish."

"you know i don't do parties either." you mumbled, absentmindedly stroking angel's soft fur while shopping online for a birthday gift for vivian, "i think i'd suffer a stroke if i even tried to go to a frat party, of all things."

"please! i can't go alone, because then i'll end up hooking up with topper again."

"then just don't go."

"but then i'll have fomo! you know i love parties, i live for-"

YOU HAVE RECEIVED A MESSAGE ON KILDAREUCHATS FROM MalachiConstant. CLICK HERE TO OPEN.

you tuned out everything vivian was saying, instantly clicking the pop-up.

MalachiConstant: whatcha up to?

YOU: nothing much. YOU: trying to stop this annoying wasp from buzzing in my ear

MalachiConstant: a... wasp?

YOU: my friend. YOU: she's trying to get me to go to a party with her. YOU: it's essentially a babysitting gig, though.

MalachiConstant: one party won't hurt you MalachiConstant: wallflower

YOU: how do you know? YOU: what if i have a stroke the moment i step foot into that place?

MalachiConstant: c'mon MalachiConstant: what do you have to lose?

YOU: my dignity.

MalachiConstant: ah, yes. the dignified grandma. MalachiConstant: hey, if the party sucks you can just stand in some corner and send me messages MalachiConstant: might not answer immediately cause i also have a party

YOU: oooh, another frat party?

MalachiConstant: you know me so well MalachiConstant: i dare you to go, poe girl

YOU: this isn't elementary school.

MalachiConstant: i triple-dog dare you

you pursed your lips in thought, looking to vivian and narrowing your eyes at the girl, a pleading look on her face. you groaned, shaking your head in defeat and rolling your eyes, "fine, i'll come with you. but i have nothing to wear."

"don't worry." vivian jumped up from her seat with a victorious smile, ruffling your hair, "you're lucky i'm your fairy slut-mother. with piles and piles of slutty dresses and skirts. i'll go get us something to wear!"

you watched as the girl made her way out of your dorm, her long hair bouncing along with her "nothing too slutty!" you called out after her, before turning back to your computer.

YOU: if i die, i'm blaming you.

TAGLIST: @yktayy9669 @tinythebunni @dywho @melalsworld @akobx @samwinchesterisawhore @st8rkey @jjasmiineee @ltristessedureratoujours @a-lovers-card @uselessnewt @lunaleah @letstryagaintomorrow @cinnamqnnlatte @papapoy @kay133sposts @wtfisastiles @butterfly1c @emmiesummers @melodyyybubbles @toomanywhitelies @littl3loveydovey @scne-vampire @alwaysmaybank @mysticbby2009 @luna443 @drewstarkeyswife-7 @flowerluvr

[bodybaggage]

Monthly Phantom Check Up

Frostbite, Danny’s overly enthusiastic yeti doctor, shows up at the Watchtower for a surprise check-up, and things get awkward fast.

———

The Watchtower was in chaos. It wasn’t a typical day of chaos—no alien invasions or time-traveling villains—but something far more uncomfortable. Frostbite, Danny Phantom’s towering Yeti doctor and self-proclaimed “Master of Ghost Medicine,” had arrived unannounced. His massive, fur-covered frame loomed in the main meeting room as he carefully unpacked a series of glowing, intimidating medical instruments.

Superman leaned over to Wonder Woman, voice low. “Is this... normal?”

Wonder Woman’s brow furrowed in thought. “I don’t think this falls under the usual protocol for supernatural beings.”

Across the room, Danny Phantom stood in all his half-dead glory—or rather, slouched in defeat, wearing a hoodie that seemed far too large for his ghostly frame. He was clearly trying to shrink away from the entire situation, one pale hand covering his face in mortification.

“Frostbite,” Danny hissed in a hushed whisper, “you couldn’t have waited until we got back to the Ghost Zone?”

Frostbite beamed, oblivious to Danny’s pleading. “Nonsense, Great One! Your health is of utmost importance, and I detected a slight imbalance in your ectoplasmic core. It must be addressed immediately!”

Batman stood against the wall, eyes narrowing as he watched the scene unfold. “Ectoplasmic core?”

Frostbite nodded solemnly as he began to prepare an absurdly long, glowing probe. “Indeed, Batman. The Great One is half-ghost, and thus, his core requires regular maintenance. There are many nuances to his biology that need tending to.”

Danny groaned. “Oh, Ancients, kill me now…”

The Justice League—gathered for what they thought was going to be a strategy meeting—could only look on in awkward silence. Aquaman coughed and pretended to adjust his trident. Green Lantern pulled up a holographic projection of the solar system, which he stared at intensely despite not needing to. Flash, of course, was barely containing his laughter, lips twitching every time Frostbite said something ridiculous.

“Now,” Frostbite continued, holding up a glowing vial of something green and gooey, “the first concern is the ectoplasm imbalance. Too much exposure to the Ghost Zone can cause buildup, which leads to... ah, let’s say, irregularities.”

Superman cleared his throat. “Irregularities?”

Frostbite nodded gravely. “Yes. In the human digestive system, it might be compared to... indigestion. But in ghosts, it manifests as random phasing, ectoplasmic leakage, and occasional transformation into a much more terrifying version of oneself.”

Superman blinked. “That sounds... worse than indigestion.”

“Oh, much worse!” Frostbite said brightly, not catching the sarcasm. “Especially during ghost puberty. It’s when the ghost’s core is developing at its most volatile stage.”

Danny’s entire face turned bright red. “Frostbite! Seriously?!”

“Ghost... puberty?” Batman echoed, voice laced with what could only be described as grim fascination.

“Indeed!” Frostbite said, now fully in doctor mode. “The Great One is well past that stage, but it’s important to note that ghost puberty can last several decades for some. Phantom’s transformations would have been wildly unpredictable for years, often triggered by emotional stress or large quantities of fast food.”

Flash actually lost it at that, letting out a snort and quickly covering his mouth. “Sorry, sorry! Just—did you say fast food?”

Danny rubbed his temples. “Yes. I went through my ‘ghost puberty’ eating burgers and stressing about math tests. Can we move on?”

Frostbite chuckled warmly. “Ah, yes. The human world does have its unique challenges for the Great One. Now, the next matter—”

“There’s more?” Danny wailed, half considering flying straight through the floor and never coming back.

“Oh, yes!” Frostbite said with far too much enthusiasm. He turned to the League. “His dual nature also means his ghost half sometimes conflicts with his human immune system. It’s a fascinating process! For example, Danny can phase through objects, but if he catches a human cold, it throws his phasing abilities off and he might accidentally phase into a wall and get stuck.”

The room went silent.

Batman stared at Danny. “You’ve... phased into a wall?”

Danny gritted his teeth, wishing for the sweet release of invisibility. “I was twelve, okay? And yes, I got stuck. It was fine.”

“Mostly fine,” Frostbite corrected, waving around a spectral thermometer. “There was that one time we had to extract you from a particularly thick brick wall in Amity Park. Took several hours.”

Wonder Woman, who had remained silent up until this point, exchanged a concerned glance with Superman. “Is this something we should... prepare for?”

Danny shot them both an exasperated look. “No. I’m not going to phase into the Watchtower’s walls. Probably.”

“Unless his ectoplasmic levels are low,” Frostbite added cheerfully. “Which is why this check-up is vital!”

As Frostbite pulled out what looked suspiciously like a ghost-themed blood pressure cuff, Danny gave up. “I’m going to die—again.”

Flash wiped away a tear of laughter, his shoulders still shaking. “This is the best day of my life. I didn’t know ghost puberty was a thing.”

“I’ll send you my research papers,” Frostbite said kindly. “There’s a great deal of fascinating biology involved!”

Danny, ignoring everyone, shot a glare at Batman, who was watching all this with far too much interest. “Don’t even think about adding this to my file.”

Batman didn’t respond, though his fingers twitched ever so slightly toward his utility belt.

Frostbite, oblivious to the ongoing awkwardness, finished prepping his tools. “Now, Great One, if you could just sit still. This next part involves extracting ectoplasmic residue from your pores—”

“I’m phasing through the floor,” Danny muttered, promptly sinking halfway through the Watchtower’s pristine floor, only his head remaining visible. “See you guys never.”

The Justice League stood in stunned silence as Frostbite packed away his tools with a serene smile.

“Very well,” Frostbite said. “I’ll schedule the next check-up for next month. Goodbye, Justice League!”

And with that, the massive Yeti doctor vanished through a portal, leaving the League standing there, trying to make sense of what they had just witnessed.

Superman finally turned to Danny, whose head was still poking out of the floor.

“Danny... you okay?”

Danny didn’t respond, choosing instead to fully disappear beneath the floor.

Flash wheezed. “I love that kid.”

[hello-eden]

 Surprise Reflection

Red robin feels like he has been hit by a truck. He has no idea why he feels like this. He knows for a fact he was drugged and not hit over the head but there are more important things to worry about.

He wakes up tied to a chair with both rope and handcuffs. it's going to take a minute to get out. He looks around at his captors who make it very obvious that his initial guess of cult is correct.

There's a summoning Circle in the middle of the room that they're working on. He has no idea what there's summoning. No one's turned around to look at him and started villain monologuing to tell him. He sees two other people tied up and he recognizes them. 

Red hood and spoiler in gear, which is an unexpected surprise he thought they were off tonight. Hood is still conked out but spoiler is awake and gagged. He wonders if she bit one of the cultists or if she tried Nightwings favorite tactic to be as annoying as possible. 

He's busy trying to unravel the rope silently all the sudden he hears chanting. That is the worst thing to happen at this moment. He has basically zero backup as hood is incapacitated and spoiler is just as tied up as him.

Red robin tries to is yelling at the cultist trying to figure out what's going on or at least distracting them with the fact he's awake but they don't seem to hear him.

A being appeared in a blinding flash of white light. There is an unsettling feeling in the air that seemed to emerge with them.

Their eyes glowing such a bright green that you could barely make out the shapes of their face. Their hair seems to come down to their hips alternating from black to white. Their body forming itself right in front of their eyes turning into something not quite human but trying to be. the being turned to survey the room from the cultist to the heroes trying to stop whatever ritual this was.

“ WHO DARES” the being said, sounding as if they've been insulted.

“ Oh great being of chaos and Power, we have come before you to ask for a boon ” one of the cult members came forward to say.

“what is this boon you wish for” The being asks clearly not wanting to be here.

 “if the mighty one would will it we would be most grateful to have the ones known as the Justice League destroyed”

 The Being stopped for a moment as if trying to figure out what the cult leader had just said.

“Is this a fu*king cult”

That stopped everyone in their tracks. 

“I would not call it a cult, I would call it a group created to promote your greatness.” the cult member says trying to save the situation.  

“ That's a cult,“ The Beings seem to start laughing as they realize who had summoned them. ”is this seriously what's going on. who the hell even is this Justice League that you've decided they need to be destroyed.”

“ They are people who promote the destruction of ourselves and have been working too stop the spread of your greatness.”

“ Your majesty,”  Red Robin says, hoping to swing this one there way as it's obvious whatever this thing it is not exactly fond of Cults. “We are Protectors of the place that these people have been trying to destroy.”

 “Are you trying to make me go against Heroes” The Being said, even without a clear look at their face you could tell they're in disbelief.

“You Dare,” The anger in their voice makes it very clear they are dangerous ”I am created from one of Realm's Greatest protectors. you dare try and make me destroy Heroes. I will enjoy giving you to the nightmare dimension”

Another bright light appeared though this time instead of just being inside the circle it covered the entire room. This time the light was a ombre of green and blue. Once the light dispersed all of the cult members seemed to have disappeared.

In the center of the room where the summoning Circle originally was stands a girl. her eyes are the same bright green with white hair but this time with a human face. A familiar face. She's wearing jeans with a constellation hoodie and matching Converse.

“apologies for the inconvenience I do quite hate when I'm summoned” The girl disappears just as she finishes speaking. 

It took Red Robin a while to realize what was confusing him but the second she left he realized. She had Damian's face. From the shape of his nose and the resemblance to Bruce even down to the bright Lazarus green eyes. She was a mirror image and he had no idea what that meant for them.

[valdevia]

Very funny that tumblr is having discourse about whether my art is misinformation or not, after I've been posting it all over the internet for years without any controversy. So let's talk about it!

I know people arguing are a vocal minority, but I'm not going to dismiss anyone's concerns. It's an actually interesting topic that I really consider, and it touches some important issues in society. So here's my (rambly) two cents.

My art is meant to misdirect, in some way. Photomanipulation and the tone I typically use are meant to briefly confuse the person reading it into thinking they're hearing a real story, at least for a few seconds.

The Intended Experience™

In this sense, I feel like my art can be misinformation! And it's not only people who don't think critically about things like "how come I never heard about mermaids being real before?".

So, no disrespect to anyone that fell for one of my pieces! My work plays with reality, so if you fell for it for more than a minute, it just means my tone and style worked a little too well for you! And there are legitimate reasons to be confused when you see something online, too. For example, there are people who can have trouble telling real and fictional things apart. When you post something that goes out to a million people, you'll get one million different reactions.

That's why I always take care to make it really clear, outside the main piece and snippet of text, that my art is no more than fiction. There are tags, the tone of my account, even my profile picture is meant to reinforce this. I also have a website which, in part, is meant to capture the clicks of people to wonder if my stuff is real and google it, so they can find a real source that's clearly an art website. You can try googling "mycelium infection 1806" or "pupillosarcoma" to see how my website tends to appear first.

If I get this comment I know I've done something believable!

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that my art wholly constitutes misinformation. What we need to understand is that misinformation is not the same as disinformation. Misinformation is just incorrect information. It's your grandma seeing a little bit of a found footage movie on TV and thinking it really happened. She might be spooked, but nobody is harmed. Disinformation is false information that's purposefully crafted and spread in order to cause harm, division, or further a political view.

Now I ask you: what real world harm does my art create? The worst that can happen is that a tiny percentage of those that see it get a little scared thinking a weird bug is real, or that mushrooms really grow on faces, or that scientists have released millions of trilobites into the oceans. Is that really that bad?

Anyway, that's my take on the topic! I'm obviously biased, but this being my style, I do put a lot of thought into it and I'm always open to people's opinions! (Just don't scream at random people on the replies or you'll get blocked!)

[suiana]

girl. imagine yandere! otome isekai reverse harem and isekai'd reader. except isekai'd reader is chronically online and has no sense of shame.

basically reader isekai'd into the evil villain/villainess's body and was in the middle of getting shit talked by some nobles for something the og villain/villainess did in the novel.

"they're such scum... why are they even-"

"erm, what the sigma? I'll have you know I'm super awesome sauce and can rizz up livvy dunne."

the people are all flabbergasted. what were you talking about? did you finally go mad as well?

"p-pardon?"

"stupid locals. none of you get me like freakbob does."

"???"

and obviously, like every other otome isekai, your new behavior gets the attention of the male leads. they've caught wind that you've changed and they had to see it for themselves. what?? the crazy villain/villainess is no longer plotting?!

...

wrong, you're still plotting. just not plotting evil acts for their attention anymore.

"i wonder if i learn how to control the pigeons could i make them shit on people's heads?"

"excuse me?"

but of course they're enchanted by your... eccentric behavior. so what? they're literally the stereotypical male leads. the cold duke of the north with black hair and red eyes, the powerful mage of the high tower, the crazy mad dog crown prince, and the knight no one really cares for.

you know what actually would be crazy though? if they didn't act like the stereotypical male leads. yeah, that's right. the cold duke isn't actually cold and is a huge puppydog. the powerful mage isn't all knowledgeable and only knows how to use one spell that's super overpowered. the knight is loved by everyone. the crown prince is still crazy though.

anyway not important. you go through the same events as the og villain/villainess with them but because you're acting so different. they develop vastly different opinions of you. oh. maybe you're just a silly guy and not the crazy villain/villainess they thought you were. cool.

however one thing they have in common is the fact that they are all madly in love with you. yeah. that's right. they all fell for you. sure, you say weird things sometimes and clearly don't care about the plot but-

"my dear, shall we visit the garden? it will be a change of scenery from the library-"

"what? are you saying I'm not smart enough? I'll have you know that i graduated top of my class of mogger academy in ohio and became the top sigma wolf."

"i-"

"you're giving such beta energy right now😒"

yeah, they can't understand you. at all. but that's okay! you're still so cute and they just absolutely love you! ever since you stopped being the weird evil villain/villainess you actually became likeable! wow! maybe the genre of this novel will shift to a cheesy romance novel?

there's only one problem!

you don't really love them back!

"darling do you want to marry me?"

"you ask me that one more time and I'm cutting your dick off."

ugh... this is so hard...

oh! maybe they'll band together to keep you with them! it's 4 people against one. how will you ever win? they'll definitely get you this time and you won't be able to escape. and they'll finally get the love that they so desperately crave from you.

[dior-luxury]

Pretending You Didn't Know Their Birthday Was Today

( ✧ ) ────── boyfriend stories . fluff/drama - no prns .

- [𝐜𝐡.] deuce . ruggie . jade . floyd . epel

- [𝐩:𝐬] Mild emotional distress . Romantic themes . Light teasing/pranks .

Note: This is such a mean prank to do on them guys (ﾉД`) But yk me, I LOVEEE writing drama (; ω ; ).

Deuce Spade

At first, Deuce tried not to take it personally.

You had been acting totally normal all day—sweet, attentive, just like always—but… that was the thing. Just normal. Not a single “Happy Birthday” from you. Not a cupcake, not a “Hey, wanna do something later?” Nothing. And at breakfast, when Ace loudly tossed Deuce a small box and yelled “Happy birthday, dumbass!”, you just… smiled politely and went back to your juice.

He told himself you probably had something planned. That maybe you were just being subtle. But as the hours passed, his confidence started to crumble.

By mid-afternoon, he couldn’t even focus in class. Every time he looked your way, his stomach did this weird, anxious twist. Maybe you were mad at him? Maybe he’d forgotten something important? No… your smile didn’t look fake. You laughed at his jokes. You walked to class with him like usual. But still—nothing.

By the time lunch rolled around, he couldn’t take it anymore.

You were sitting together under a shady tree in the courtyard, sharing fries from a bag. He stared down at his lap, fingers fidgeting, his voice awkward and small.

“H-Hey… um… did you… maybe forget what today is?”

You blinked at him, biting into a fry. “Hmm? Oh… is something happening today?”

The color drained from his face.

“…O-Oh. No. Never mind. I just thought—no, forget it,” he said, trying to hide the flash of hurt in his eyes. His posture stiffened, clearly trying to pretend like he didn’t care, but it was so obvious he did.

And that’s when you pulled out the surprise.

From your bag, you retrieved a small, neatly wrapped box and set it in his lap. “You’re so easy to mess with, Deuce. Happy Birthday, baby.”

He stared at it. Then at you. Then back at it.

“…You knew?!”

You giggled as he turned bright red, torn between relief, embarrassment, and this ridiculously bashful happiness. “Of course I knew. You really thought I’d forget my favorite person’s birthday?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, still stunned. “I… I thought I messed something up. Man, you’re evil for that,” he said with a pout, even though he looked like he wanted to hug you and never let go.

Later that night, you surprised him again with a little party in Ramshackle with his closest friends and a handmade cake. And as he sat beside you, eating your lopsided but delicious creation, he leaned close and whispered in your ear:

“You scared the hell outta me today. But… that just makes this even better. Thanks, babe.”

Ruggie Bucchi

Ruggie had been dropping hints for weeks.

Not because he expected much—he never really did on his birthday—but because the idea of you remembering something special about him… it made his chest feel warm.

So when his birthday finally came around, and you—the one person he thought would for sure say something—didn’t, he didn’t know how to take it.

The sun had barely risen when he bounced into your dorm with a grin. “Mornin’, babe! Sleep well?”

You nodded, still wrapped in a blanket burrito. “Mmhm. Wanna grab breakfast in the cafeteria?”

“…That’s it?” he asked, his brow furrowing.

You looked at him, head tilted. “What?”

“Nothin’, nothin’,” he said with a wave of his hand, brushing it off with a chuckle. “Just thought maybe you had somethin’ special planned for today. Like… a surprise churro. Y’know. For, uh… no reason at all.”

You blinked innocently. “Why would I do that?”

“…No reason,” he muttered, a little too fast.

As the day went on, he kept waiting for something. A “Happy Birthday!” A present. A note in his bag. Anything. But there was nothing.

At some point, he began to seriously wonder if you just… didn’t care.

That stung more than he wanted to admit.

By evening, he sulked into his dorm, only to find you waiting inside with a bright grin, his favorite snacks on the bed, and a banner that read Happy Birthday, Hyena Boy!

He froze in the doorway. “Wh-What the—?! You knew?!”

You laughed, pulling him into a hug. “Of course I did, silly. You’ve been hinting at it all month. I just wanted to mess with you a little.”

“Jeez, and here I thought I was bein’ subtle…” He rubbed his temples, a smile cracking through his flustered expression. “You little sneak. I almost cried in the middle of laundry duty.”

“Aww, don’t worry. You can cry now—in happiness!”

“Pfft, yeah right,” he scoffed, turning away dramatically… only to spin around and tackle-hug you onto the bed. “Okay, maybe just a little happy cry. Maybe. Don’t look too closely.”

That night, as you both lounged on the bed sharing snacks and laughter, he kissed your cheek and mumbled, “No one’s ever done something like this for me before… Thank you, babe. Seriously.”

And just like that, all the teasing in the world couldn’t hide how much he really appreciated it.

Jade Leech

Jade is not the type to let his emotions slip so easily.

So when the morning of his birthday came and you greeted him with your usual serene smile and a sweet "Good morning, Jade~," he returned it effortlessly—mask flawless, voice calm. But the second you walked away without even a hint of birthday acknowledgment, he blinked once… and a curious smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

How… intriguing.

He didn’t say anything. Not then. Not at lunch, either, when you asked if he wanted to go herb-hunting later like it was any other day. Not even when you kissed his cheek in the hallway and said “See you after class!”

But every time you looked away, he was watching you. Observing you in the same way a predator watches prey, fascinated and a little amused. The wheels in his mind were turning.

You had to know, didn’t you?

…Or did you forget?

He couldn’t quite tell. You weren’t nervous. You weren’t acting strange. No subtle glances, no hidden smiles. Your performance was suspiciously perfect—which only made this more entertaining for him.

By the time evening fell, Jade accompanied you into the Mostro Lounge for "a quick drink," following along with that same soft smile on his face. You chatted like always, sat in your usual booth, sipping tea. Nothing seemed different.

Until the lights dimmed.

And Azul’s voice came over the mic—“Happy Birthday to Jade Leech”—and a cake was brought out, decorated with ocean-themed shells and pearls, your handwriting proudly scrawled across the fondant.

And that’s when Jade laughed.

Not a quiet chuckle. A genuine laugh, melodic and laced with amusement. He turned to you with sharp but delighted eyes.

“Oh my. So you did remember.”

You gave him an innocent blink. “What? Of course I remembered. I was just having fun watching you squirm a little.”

He placed a hand over his chest, mock-wounded. “Me? Squirm? Dearest, I was merely observing your fascinating acting skills. Though I must admit… I nearly believed you forgot.”

You smirked. “Then the plan worked.”

Jade leaned in closer, his voice a silky whisper near your ear. “You’re quite the mischievous little eel, aren’t you? I might have to return the favor someday…”

And though he wore that ever-pleasant smile the rest of the night, you could tell—underneath it, Jade was thrilled. Not just because you remembered, but because you played his game so well.

Floyd Leech

Floyd was hyped for his birthday.

He didn’t say it out loud, but everyone could tell. He was unusually bouncy that morning—tossing students over his shoulder with more enthusiasm than usual, humming a weird little tune while walking to class. Even Azul was keeping a safe distance.

So when he spotted you coming down the hallway, his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

“Shrimpyyyy~!!” he beamed, immediately throwing his long arms around you in a tight squeeze. “Guess what day it isss?”

You blinked, looking puzzled. “Umm… Tuesday?”

He froze.

You tilted your head. “Why? Is something happening today?”

His arms slowly dropped away. His smile faltered. “…You serious?”

You gave him your most convincing innocent look. “Did I miss something?”

“…You serious?!”

Now he looked genuinely offended—like someone had just told him there were no snacks left in the vending machine. “You forgot my birthday? My own girlfriend?! What kinda low-tide tragedy is this?!”

He slumped dramatically over your shoulder like a dying fish. “Shrimpy doesn’t love me anymoreee~ I’m gonna cry…”

“Floyd—”

“No, no, don’t talk to me! I’m gonna go sulk and punch a wall or something…”

And off he went, dramatically dragging his feet down the hall.

…Only for you to text him twenty minutes later with “Emergency in the Lounge. Come quick.”

He came stomping in like a storm cloud, pout still fresh on his face—until the moment he saw the room.

Balloons. Streamers. A giant cake shaped like a sea turtle. And you, standing in the center with a party horn in your mouth, grinning.

“Happy birthday, big guy~”

His mouth opened. Then closed.

“…You LIAR!” he laughed, bolting forward and sweeping you off the ground in a bone-crushing hug. “You tricked me, shrimpy! That was so mean!”

“You deserved it,” you giggled, arms wrapped around his neck. “I had to keep you on your toes somehow.”

Floyd nuzzled into your hair, tail practically wagging. “I was this close to crying real tears! You’re lucky you’re cute.”

He spent the rest of the night showing off to everyone, dragging you around and introducing you like you were the best gift of all. And before bed, he curled up beside you with a satisfied little sigh.

“You’re lucky I love ya, shrimpy. Next year, I’m pranking you. Hardcore.”

Epel Felmier

Epel didn’t like to make a big fuss over his birthday.

He wasn’t the type to announce it to the world, parade around the dorm, or demand gifts. Still… he was kind of hoping you’d remember. Just a simple “Happy birthday” from you would’ve meant everything. He didn’t want something fancy—just… you.

So when the day arrived and you didn’t say anything, he tried to play it cool.

Tried.

“‘Mornin’, sugar~!” he greeted with a bright grin, brushing his hair behind his ear the way you liked.

“Mornin’, Epel!” you chirped back casually, linking your arm with his as you both walked down the hall.

He waited. One second. Two.

Nothing.

“…Anything special goin’ on today?” he asked, trying to act nonchalant.

You blinked. “Uhh, I don’t think so. It’s Tuesday. Why?”

He felt his heart sink a little.

“…No reason,” he mumbled, gaze flicking away. “Just… felt like today was s’posed to be important or somethin’.”

You tilted your head. “Did I forget a test?”

Epel forced a smile. “Nah, nah… forget it.”

But he didn’t forget it.

All day, he kept sneaking glances at you, silently hoping you were just pulling his leg. Maybe you'd jump out with a cake or tackle-hug him and yell, “Surprise!” But each hour that passed without so much as a cupcake made that hope dim a little more.

He tried to laugh it off with his friends. “Guess I ain’t worth rememberin’, huh?” he joked, but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

By the time the sun dipped behind the walls of NRC, he had retreated to his room, lying face-down on his bed, arms folded beneath his head.

“…It’s fine,” he muttered to himself. “Ain’t a big deal. Birthdays’re for kids anyway. I ain’t soft.”

But just as he was wallowing in his disappointment, there was a knock at his door.

“…Epel?” your voice called softly from the other side. “Can you come with me for a sec?”

He rolled over, groaning a little. “Not really in the mood, darlin’.”

“Please?”

He sighed. “Fine…”

You led him outside Ramshackle—under the stars—into the courtyard where the fountain glowed soft gold. And that’s when he saw it.

Fairy lights strung up between trees. A little picnic blanket with two slices of apple pie and warm cider. A small, wrapped box sitting atop a folded note with his name written in your handwriting.

“…You didn’t forget,” he whispered.

You turned to him with a gentle smile, a flicker of mischief in your eyes. “Course not. I just wanted to see your pouty face. You’re so cute when you sulk.”

He gawked at you, cheeks burning red. “Y-you—! Ugh, I oughta put you over my shoulder and shake the mischief outta you!”

You laughed and took his hands, pulling him toward the little setup. “Happy birthday, Epel. I love you.”

The tension melted from his shoulders all at once. He dropped down beside you, arms wrapping tight around your waist as he buried his face into your shoulder.

“Dang it… You really got me,” he muttered, voice muffled. “Thought you forgot. Thought I didn’t matter…”

“You matter to me every single day,” you whispered back. “Today’s just an excuse to prove it.”

And under the starlight, as you fed him a bite of pie and leaned on his shoulder, Epel couldn’t stop grinning. He might not be the kind to shout it from the rooftops, but tonight—he felt special. Loved. Yours.

“…Next year, I’m gettin’ ya back for this, y’know,” he said with a playful smirk. “Hard.”

[illyrianslut]

Spymaster's mate - Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel is away on business for the Night Court, but Y/N needs satisfaction while he is gone. He senses through the bond what his mate is needing and winnows home.

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Smut, overstimulation, breeding kink, spanking, masturbation. I think that's it..

Author's Note: I don't write smut a lot, so please be kind xD Ao3 Link

Masterlist | Ao3

You had known it was going to be another long lonely night at home without Azriel to keep you company, but that didn’t make coming home to your empty town home any easier. It had been a rainy, dreary day in Velaris but you’d made the best of it deciding to visit Feyre and Nyx at Feyre’s shop surprising them with treats from their favorite bakery.

Even after spending time with you little nephew the ache of missing your mate consumed you once you were alone. Of course you understood that Azriel’s job as Spymaster for the Night Court was an important one, and one that often stole him away from you for days at a time, it didn’t ever take away the ache of being away from him or not knowing if he is safe.

Throwing your things in a pile beside the door, you enter your home and make your way to the kitchen to begin making something for dinner. Much to your surprise, there is a bouquet of flowers sitting on the table, a card with your name on it is sitting beside it.

You look around your home, feeling that your mate isn’t there causing you to wonder how the flowers got into your -locked- home. The note was clearly written in Azriel’s handwriting, confusing you further. You give a small tug on the mating bond you share with him, but can tell instantly that his walls are up and there is no chance of you getting through to him.

Y/N,

I wanted to apologize for leaving you home alone for so long. You know how it kills me to be away from you. Rhysand needs me to stay here longer, I can explain more when I get home. I am so sorry for being away my love, I will be home as soon as time allows. I love you, Az.

A disappointed sigh leaves your lips, it wasn’t the first time his job kept him away longer than anticipated, and surely wouldn’t be the last. You know not to take it to heart, but that doesn’t take away the sting of missing him.

You give up on the idea of dinner, just wanting the day to be over. Sleep sounds much nicer anyway. You give the flowers a quick sniff and smile, he had always known your favorite flowers to get. But you’d still rather your mate be home than have flowers.

Tomorrow would be one week since you saw him, one week since you felt his calming pretense, and felt him inside you. Your core aches at the thought of your last morning before he left, as always he made sure to satisfy you fully before leaving. You get to your bedroom and throw on one of his shirts and crawl into bed, still thinking about that morning.

He had woken you with his lips wrapped around your clit, and hands on your hips to hold you in place while he devoured you.

You move your fingers to your needy cunt, and begin rubbing slow circles on your clit, remembering the feel of your mate.

“Az.” You moan running your fingers through his hair, hips bucking to meet his tongue that is currently lapping at your entrance as though it’s his last meal.

“Good morning my beautiful girl.” He says, moving to slide a finger inside you. “How many times shall I make you come for me this morning?” He questions, adding another finger.

You can’t help but sigh deeply at the memory of his fingers inside you, tossing your head back moving your fingers faster.

You hum in response to his question, but can’t find any words as pleasure is coursing through your body. He begins sucking on your swollen clit, making a knot form in your stomach. “I’m gonna cum.” You clasp a hand over your mouth to hold back the moan rising in your throat. But he stops, taking away the pleasure he’d been giving so freely moments before.

“Don’t you dare hide those beautiful moans from me, princess.” He pulls your hand away from your mouth and holds it with his free hand, then goes back to lapping at your core. “You come for me, baby girl. Come all over my face.” His words are your undoing, your release hitting you all at once. Your legs clench around his shoulders and you let go, cumming on his tongue as he keeps licking, and pumping his fingers inside you quickly.

A tug is sent from the other side of the bond, a satisfied grin plasters itself on your face knowing that Azriel can feel the please you’re giving yourself. You drop what little shield was left to you, letting him in fully, letting him feel the orgasm you’re close to giving yourself.

“Please, I need more.” You beg him, not feeling fully satisfied, needing his cock inside you.

Your body can’t help but respond to his deep, lust filled voice. “Az please, I need your cock inside me. I need you to fill my pussy.” Your voice comes out in a desperate whine while you take in the assault on your nipples.

“Beg for it, Princess.” He commands, placing rough kisses up your body, sucking once he gets to your swollen nipple. “Beg for my cock if you want it so bad.” His hand reaches up to play with your other nipple.

“Good girl.” He praises you, lining his beautifully long cock up with your desperate cunt.

He doesn’t take but a moment before pushing his entire length inside you, earning a lust filled moan from both of you.

A brief rustle beside you brings you back to reality. You can’t help but startle seeing a dark figure in the corner of your bedroom, but once you recognize the shadows of your mate you continue flicking your fingers over your clit.

“You dirty little slut.” Azriel growls, stalking over to the bed and gripping your ankles to pull you to meet him.

You laugh excitedly, knowing that you’re in trouble, but also knowing the punishment will be well worth it. “What did I do?” You ask innocently, eyes raking down the man before you. His cock bulging through his leathers, wings fluttering as they always did when lust overtook him, and his eye narrowed on you.

“You know exactly what you did.” He leans down, grabbing the hand that had just been rubbing your clit and pulled you to a sitting position. His lips are close to yours, but instead of kissing you he lifts your hand to his mouth and sucks on the two fingers covered in your wetness. “Take off the shirt.” He commands, leaving no room for argument.

You do as your told, and toss the shirt you’d taken from his dresser across the room. He stood above you not breaking eye contact, he loved to hold the power over you in the bedroom, to be in control. “Get your ass in the air.” Another command, causing your needy cunt to clench looking for something to fill it.

You turn yourself around so that your ass is in the air, and shake it for him. A hard smack lands on your left cheek, a moan from you as you savor the punishment. “Please Az, I need your dick inside me.” You beg, wishing more than anything that cock was filling you up like it had before he left.

He sucks gently at your collarbone, sure to leave a nice purple bruise after he’s done. His hips pull out of you teasingly slow before he shoves his cock back into you so hard your body pushes up. He repeats his thrust again and again, earning pleasure filled cries from you. “That’s right pretty girl, take my cock like a good fucking girl.”

You clench around his cock at his words, digging your fingers into his shoulder. “Good girl, clench that pussy around my dick. That’s right, take it just like that.” Another thrust into your aching pussy.

Smack. Your right cheek stings as he slaps it bringing you back to him. “Dirty slut, distracting me from my work.” One more slap to your left cheek and he pulls away, a whine leaving your lips. “Take my dick out, and if you’re a good girl maybe I’ll fuck you.”

You sit up quickly, facing him on the bed and begin undoing the leathers between you and his cock. A satisfied hum comes from him at your eagerness, earning you a soft caress on the cheek. As soon as you’ve undone his leathers and hauled them down you take in the beauty that is his length. Pre cum is spilling out of the tip, you lick your lips before getting to your knees in front of him, licking his entire length.

He groans your name, and puts a fist in your hair tugging at the roots. You open your mouth wide to fit him inside, and dip down to take as much as you could, using your hand to pump the remaining length. “Fuck, just like that princess.” He praises, keeping his grip in your hair while guiding you in sucking his cock.

A glance up at him shows you his eyes closed tightly, and lips parted slightly as his soft moans fill the room. You use your free hand to cup his balls and he stiffens immediately, eyes shooting open to look down at you. “You are my good girl, aren’t you?” He grabs both sides of your head and thrusts into your mouth several times, making your eyes fill with tears, and gag as his entire length is shoved down your throat. Just when you think you aren’t able to take more he stops, and pulls you up gently. “Aren’t you?”

You nod, wiping at the tears that had filled your eyes from the face fuck, and reach behind him to run a gently finger across the base of his wings. “Do you think you deserve my dick?” He questions, shuddering at your touch.

“Yes baby.” Your words sound like a plea. You can’t help but grind against his cock, needing the friction, your dripping pussy aching for relief.

He leans down to your shoulder placing an all too gently kiss there before wrapping his arms under your ass and picking you up. Instinctively you wrap your legs around him, and lull your head to the side as he sucks at the soft skin.

Before you know it, your back has hit the wall, and he crashes his lips to yours. “You are my good little girl.” He lines his tip up with your entrance and without another word, thrusts into you. “Who got your pussy so wet angel?” He asks, pulling out and thrusting back in quickly, his balls slapping against you while he fucks up into you.

“You did Az, my pussy is soaked only for you.” You moan, taking his cock up inside you, grinding as much as you can to create more friction on your clit.

He hold you up with one arm, still fucking you when he reaches between you and uses his thumb to rub circles on your clit. A red hot ball begins to form in your stomach, lewd sounds leaving your mouth as you try to form words around the ecstasy that you’re feeling.

“I’m g-gonna.” You try to get out, but just as the orgasm is about to take over you he pulls out and sets you on wobbling legs. “Az-” You beg, looking up, legs shaking as you’re unable to hold yourself up at the let down from you ruined orgasm.

“Not yet you’re not.” He drags you over to the bed, holding you up as your body comes down from the disappointment. “You’re coming on my mouth first, sweet girl.” He tells you, laying you down and kneeling before you.

His cock is being fisted in his hand as he pushes you down and pulls you to the edge of the bed. “You don’t cum until I tell you to. Is that understood?” His mouth is hovering over your soaked pussy, but he refuses to give you pleasure until you acknowledge his words.

“Yes baby.” You confirm, hips rolling looking for any sign of satisfaction.

He leans in and immediately starts lapping at your soaking cunt “You’re so beautiful.” He says into you, sucking and slurping sending lightning bolts of pleasure rushing through you. Your ruined orgasm coming back, full force.

As though he senses the oncoming orgasm, he tears his hand away from his cock so he can put two fingers inside you, pumping quickly while he continues sucking on your clit. The pleasure is about to burst out of you, and you know you need to ask before you come. “Please let me cum.” You beg, hips bucking to meet his finger thrusts.

“Come for me princess.” With those words you come undone, your pleasure fulled moans filling the room, mixed with the slurping of your pussy in Azriel’s mouth. “Mmm, good fucking girl.” He praises, as your body convulses, letting the orgasm run through you.

You moan his name and a string of curse words, running your fingers through his hair. “Now it’s my turn, and I’m going to cum in that little pussy of yours.” Another wave of pleasure consumes you as he lay over you and thrusts inside before letting you come down from your first orgasm.

He fills you so completely, stretching your cunt to the limits filling you with the most beautiful feeling. His large hand finds your throat, and squeezes just enough to send more pleasure through you, his pace quickening as he fucks into you harder.

You reach back and play with his wings, and close your eyes enjoying the feeling of his hand around your throat. “I’m gonna cum in your pussy and fill you with my seed. You little fucking whore.” His thrusts are becoming sloppy, he releases his grip on your throat and hold himself over you continuing to pump into you.

Your second orgasm burst out of you when he took your nipple in his mouth, the sensation overtaking you. You knew he was close, and the stimulation was becoming too much for you to bare, “Please cum inside me, I want you to put a babe in me, Az.” You knew the words would be his undoing, he’d been attempting to get you with child for years.

Just like that his weight was on top of you in the most loving way and you felt his cum filling you up. Your name continuing to fall off his lips as he kept thrusting to push his seed further inside. As he finished his hips pressed into you, creating an overstimulated cry leave your lips.

As he realized what caused the cry, he began grinding against you harder, a devious grin spreading across his lips. You try to push his weight off you, feeling another unwelcome orgasm creeping up inside you “Az it’s too much.” You beg, your hips betraying you and grinding into his.

The orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks, another cry escaping out of you. “You have one more in you, I know it.” He slides down your body, and holds your hips in place while he attaches his lips to your exposed cunt again.

“Azriel!” You cry out, the overstimulation crashing into you, tears falling from your eyes and your cunt clenching trying to hold back an orgasm.

He nips at your bundle of nerves and that is your undoing, your final orgasm leaving your body like an exorcism. Cries of pleasure and pain fill the room as your cunt aches from overuse. “That’s my good girl” Azriel walks away for only a moment before coming back with a warm cloth.

He kneels before you, as your body is trying to regulate itself. “I’m going to clean you now princess, and you need to let me.” He instructs, you can’t do anything but nod as your adrenaline lowers. As he gently wipes at your dripping and aching pussy you want to pull away, but he holds you there getting every drop off you.

You can’t move in the aftershock of your orgasms, so he wraps his strong arms around you and brings you to the head of the bed, tucking you in. “Come love.” He whispers, pulling you close to him, letting you rest your head on his check.

“You were so good for me, you’re such a good girl.” He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, brushing a few stray hairs from your face. “And who knows maybe I will have finally put a babe in you.” He smiles lovingly at you, and you can’t help but swell with love also at the idea of carrying his child.