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angelwings-crossbowstrings · 9 months

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Series Masterlist

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Chapter 10

Warnings: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SA. Please venture forth with caution. Other warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; panic attacks; allusions to previous SA

You rushed into your cell, getting into a physical altercation with the sheet over the door when you became tangled in your haste. Tossing your clothes into the corner, you scrambled up to your top bunk and sat against the wall with your knees pulled to your chest.

Carol stood by the small table, simply blinking. “I thought you were gonna shower.”

You were too shaken to produce a logical response. “I, um, changed my mind. I’ll…I’ll do it in the morning.” Had you looked at your roommate, you would have seen the clear skepticism in her expression.

“Are you okay?” She queried.

“Um, yeah. Yeah.” You answered with zero confidence. You were honestly the furthest thing from okay. Daryl had just said your name while pleasuring himself. But why? He had rejected your attempts to do what you were purchased for, assuring you that he didn’t see you like that. You had never lost that feeling of dreaded expectation, convinced that he was biding his time. Did this mean you were right? Was he waiting for you to be alone and vulnerable?

A rapping of knuckles against the bars on the other side of the sheet that provided the thinnest layer of security for you startled you from your thoughts. You could no more than watch as Carol approached the doorway.

“Daryl. Hey, I’m glad you’re here. I need to talk to you. Why are you wet?”

Your breaths came faster, your heart pounding in your ears. No, Carol was safe. Carol had promised.

“Grabbed a shower. This yers?”

Your eyes were the size of saucers when Carol took the towel and looked back at you, eyeing you suspiciously for the briefest of moments. Then smiling Carol was back, accepting the colorful towel. You realized he probably thought it was hers because of her penchant for flowers.

“Yes, I must’ve dropped it when I was gonna take a shower earlier, but remembered that I needed to…do something…else.”

Ouch. That was horrible. And obviously hard to believe since Daryl was looking at her with that arched eyebrow.

“Y’alrigh’?”

“I’m fine, Daryl. Just tired.” Carol folded the towel neatly and let it drape over her arm.

“What’d ya need ta talk ‘bout?”

“You know, it can wait. I need to get to bed and you need to get to…well, probably not sleeping because you’re you.”

“Whatever.” He scoffed, clearly not upset, and started away from the doorway.

“Night, Daryl.”

“Mhm, night.”

Carol smiled until the sheet fell closed and then promptly chucked the towel at your head. “Changed your mind?!” She whisper-yelled.

“I didn’t know! I…I didn’t hear the water at first!” You retorted at the same level. You had already started to cry, confused and embarrassed and on top of it all, scared. You couldn’t tell anyone what you had seen. Something was keeping Daryl from acting on his desires, a fact for which you weren’t sure you were relieved or disappointed.

She had no idea why you were so upset when she climbed up into the bunk with you and pulled you into her side. “It’s okay.” She smoothed her hand over your hair and let you sniffle and quietly sob. “Did you see anything?”

Fuck. She just had to ask. You didn’t want to lie to her; never wanted to lie to her. Maybe just an omission would do? “I saw…scars.” The woman holding you flinched. She knew about them. Of course she did. They were close friends. “They look like mine.” You added softly.

“Y/N, I can’t tell you about those. It’s not my story to tell. I can tell you that you shouldn’t mention them.” You sat back, watching her with red-rimmed eyes. “It’s a touchy subject for him. If he wants you to know, he’ll tell you.”

You nodded, feeling worse than you had initially, but at least it was over now. Carol patted your cheek and climbed down so you could slide under your blanket and get some rest.

Neither of you were aware of the stealthy hunter that had been listening just outside the cell.

Daryl had no idea how he was going to handle you that day. You had seen him in the shower. Claimed to only have seen his scars, which was bad enough, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what else you saw but was left to wonder what you may have heard.

His anxiety was eating him alive at that point. Maybe he could just say no for the day. Then Carol would be asking why. Maybe he should just tell her? No! If he could see the little devil on his shoulder, he’d punch the bastard. He could say he was sick. No, that wouldn’t be smart. Not after the flu fiasco. He’d just put everyone on edge. Maybe he could—

“Hi.”

Fuck. He hadn’t heard you approaching. This whole situation really had him thrown off. “Yer early.” He commented gruffly, hoping you’d go away and give him just a little bit longer to figure out something. He didn’t turn around, he couldn’t look at you. Not yet.

“I’m…uh…I’m sorry.” You said in such a tiny voice that even he felt like shit. “I was, um, helping Carol with breakfast and, um, well, I didn’t have anything else to do, so I thought that m-maybe I could just go work on what you showed me yesterday until you were ready.” He could hear you moving around but then you stilled. “You, uh, you left this with me yesterday.” He knew he’d left the knife. He had wanted you to have it, something to make you feel safe. But he couldn’t just say that, could he?

God, he was in over his head. Why the fuck didn’t Carol just let him stay away from you?

He glanced over his shoulder to your petite hand, carefully holding the blade with the hilt toward him. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t have a chance to ask.

“I didn’t, um, well…I wasn’t sure if you’d have me, uh, use it again today. So… I- I cleaned it for you.”

Why did that small gesture make his chest ache? Idiot, she’s bein’ nice. Girl still thinks ya bought her fer ya ta fuck n’ lock away. Daryl cleared his throat. “Nah, s’yers. Don’ need it no more. Got others.” Hopefully you took that as him being anything but nice.

“Wow, th-thank you, Sir.” He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, counting down in his head. “I mean, I mean Daryl! I’m sorry.” You squeaked before he could even get to seven. Jesus, you sounded so afraid of him.

He grunted, crossing his arms. Yep, that’s gon’ help her not be scared. “Le’s go, then.” He walked away toward the fences, not hearing your quick footfalls for a few moments. You tended to stay behind him, which he was grateful for and at the fences, you would be in front of him and clearing out walkers. That was also helpful. He was too concerned with safety to focus on anything else.

When he stopped, he nearly flinched out of his skin when you actually came to stand beside him. Peripherally, he could see your big doe eyes shining up at him. “Same as yesterday?” You asked quietly.

“Mhm.” When you walked ahead, he exhaled. Jesus, he needed a cigarette. He kept his eyes on you while pulling the pack from his vest pocket. From the feel of it, he’d need to make a run soon if he wanted more. There was probably a list of supplies that others needed, so he could take care of that while he was at it.

He flicked the lighter to life and inhaled while the end of the smoke ignited, the first dregs of nicotine soothing his frazzled nerves. Christ, he’d never experienced this kind of inner turmoil over a woman before. Any sexual encounters he’d had before were no strings attached and usually only happened as a distraction while Merle was off getting high or getting fucked himself.

“Again.” He ordered with smoke billowing from his mouth, blowing the remainder out once you moved to the next walker. You were off that day, your movements languid and uncoordinated when compared to the day before. The reason was obvious but you weren’t aware that he knew. Still, you pressed on each time he urged. You were pertinacious, he’d give you that.

Until you came face to face with a corpse that appeared to be recently turned. Daryl straightened, on alert while you drove the blade home. He figured you’d have difficulty retracting the weapon from a skull that wasn’t soft with decomposition.

“It’s stuck.” You turned to him for instruction, taking your eyes off the undead trying to get at you. A second was all it took for rotting fingers to find purchase in your tresses, yanking you against the fence.

“Shit!” His cigarette fell, forgotten, his knife in hand. You were screaming, teeth clicking in your ear as another walker locked a fist in your hair. You released the knife in flight response, reaching behind your head for only a moment before Daryl was grabbing both of your wrists to pull them away from the jaws that would have easily taken a finger or two. He sliced through the fingers holding you and pulled you away from danger.

Though you had stopped screaming, your sobs continued. The archer held you against him with one arm and pulled your knife free with his other hand, allowing the dead bastard to fall. He let the weapon clatter to the ground. He could come back for it later. “Y’alrigh’? Ya bit?”

Your hands were fisted tightly in his vest, your knuckles white. There were no visible marks, but it would be a good idea to let Hershel look you over anyway.

“C’mon. I gotcha.” He never made you let go even after he scooped you up. Carol was running toward him and met him halfway to the prison.

“Daryl, what happened?!” She was petting your hair and whispering softly while keeping up with the archer’s pace.

“Couple walkers grabbed her. Don’ think she’s bit but doc should look at her anyway.” He kept his blue eyes on the door, avoiding the bundle in his arms.

“Yeah, good idea.” Carol continued to try and calm you. “You’re okay. Daryl’s got you and I’m right here. You’re okay. Try to catch your breath.” When you didn’t, his friend looked to him. “She’s gonna hyperventilate if we don’t calm her down.”

Fuck. He stopped just outside the prison, still not looking down. “Y/N. Can ya feel me breathin’?” An almost imperceptible nod against his chest. “Wantcha ta try n’ match mine.” You struggled as he began to move, stepping inside once Carol opened the door. You still trembled but your panicked breaths were slowing.

“That’s it.” Carol encouraged. “Keep trying to breathe like Daryl. Steady in and out.” She placed a hand on Daryl’s shoulder and squeezed then ran ahead, calling for the veterinarian.

Daryl was approaching the cell block when you looked up at him, face red and cheeks wet. “I’m…I’m sorry, Daryl.”

Your apology befogged the archer. “Wha’ the hell fer?”

Your lip began to quiver just as he risked a glance at you. Shit.

“I…I m-m-messed up tr-training.”

The archer’s eyes softened. It would have been impossible to prevent it. “We all have close calls.” He explained, his tone almost gentle. “I fell down a ravine once n’ stabbed myself with my own bolt.” Carol was at the cell door waiting when he came walking through. “Jus’ gotta keep yer guard up, okay?”

You nodded, finally releasing his vest to wipe at your mess of a face. Daryl placed you on the table for Hershel and stepped back next to Carol.

“I’ll stay with her.” She said, not taking her eyes off of you. “I think Rick found some people today and brought them back. Think he may need a hand?” Daryl hummed but stayed rooted to the spot he occupied. “She’ll be fine, Pookie.” The point of her elbow found his ribs, resulting in a scowl aimed in her direction. “Go on.”

He couldn’t stay. Carol knew that too. You were likely to need to be undressed. Daryl turned and made his way out. “Lemme know.” He said without stopping, hearing Carol’s dismissive ‘mhm’ before he rounded the corner.

Hershel had declared you to be in better health than you had been when you first arrived. You’d gained a little weight. Your hair wasn’t as dull. Your skin wasn’t as dry. In his opinion, your time spent there had done wonders. No injuries from the day’s disaster, aside from the emotional distress. He had recommended a light sedative and rest for the remainder of the day, but you insisted that you had more to learn, hopped off the table, and went to find Daryl.

It was early evening, plenty of daylight left for more time at the fence. You were nervously wringing your hands as you searched outside without luck, venturing to areas you’d never been without Carol. Even in the daytime, the empty sections made your skin crawl.

There was a stretch of concrete around one side that dipped into a wide alley of sorts. Carol would take you there sometimes to work on laundry when your anxiety was at distressing levels. It was unlikely you’d find Daryl there but it made sense that if Carol would bring you there for solitude, maybe the archer would visit for the same reason.

You rounded the corner, looking over your shoulder to see if anyone you were familiar with was outside. You felt on edge going out of sight without someone escorting you. When you walked right into someone, you thought it was Daryl for the briefest of moments.

“I’m so sorry!” You looked up to lock eyes with a man you had never seen before. “I didn’t… I-I’m sorry. I should—” You started to turn. Your heart was thundering behind your ribs.

“Oh, hey, hey, hey!” The man placed a large hand on your shoulder and squeezed, the pressure uncomfortable, bordering on painful. “What’s your hurry, princess?” Your mouth moved but you couldn’t make your voice work. “Hey, Marvin, c’mere!”

“Who’s this?” The second man asked, reaching toward you to twirl a strand of your hair around his finger while the first led you further into the alley. “She’s awfully pretty, Lonny.”

“She sure is.” Lonny’s hand left your shoulder to wrap around your waist, pulling you along beside him. “What’s your name, doll?” You didn’t answer. You pressed the heels of your shoes into the concrete, trying to slow the journey or make him lose his grip.

“Lonny and I are new here.”

“Mhm. That, we are.”

“Came in with a group today. Maybe you could give us the official welcome celebration.”

“I need, um, I need to get back. Daryl. He’s gonna be looking for me.” You lied, hoping they had met the archer. You were nearly certain no one would fuck with you if they thought Daryl might come in search.

“Daryl. Daryl. Which one was that, Marv?”

“The guy who asked us how many people we killed?”

A hand wandered down your side and then under your shirt, roughly caressing the skin below your ribs. You made a distressed noise in the back of your throat, struggling in earnest to get away. Both men chuckled at your efforts.

“Nah, I think it may have been mister crossbow.”

“You know, it’s funny. We got in here on a technicality.” You managed to slip out of their grasp, not waiting a single second before running toward the corner.

“Help! Carol!” She had promised. She promised. “Hel—”

Something slammed into you from behind, sending you tumbling to the ground. You caught yourself on your palms, feeling the sting of the unforgiving concrete. Marvin crawled up to press you down with the weight of his body, laughing when you began to sob.

“Y’see, we never killed any of them girls.” He licked the shell of your ear, the sound alone making your stomach turn. “We did what we wanted and then left ‘em for the dead to enjoy.”

“Get her pants off.” Lonny ordered. You could hear the shuffle of clothing, the frictional drag of a zipper. You kicked and shouted; tried crawling away when you had no time to get to your feet.

“Keep her still!”

Your hair was tugged harshly before your face was slammed against the ground. White hot pain permeated through your skull before a blissful numbness. Time seemed to pass in clouded fragments, pieces missing that left the events incomplete. The feel of fabric sliding down your legs. Muted voices and laughter. Pain, dulled but consistent.

A brief reprieve of just nothing.

Your eyes peeled open slowly, the pain registering before your vision gave you anything but a blurry mess of colors. There was a wet burn between your legs, which were bare and being scraped by the rough texture of the concrete. You managed a whine and pulled your hands up beside your head, clawing at the ground to try and drag yourself away from the rough digits scratching against your inner walls.

“Don’t fuck it up too much, man.”

“Looks like someone already did that.”

The sob that broke from your lips was accompanied by a wrecked version of ‘ow.’ There was blood below your face, you could feel its stickiness on your skin; the way your tears carved through it.

Carol had promised. You were meant to be safe now. The fight drained from you, your training hooked and pulled to the forefront of your addled brain. Your body didn’t belong to you. Let them use you. That’s what you were made for; that was your purpose.

You closed your eyes.

“Ya got less than one goddamn second ta move away from her ‘fore I put a bolt in yer brain.”

Your eyes snapped open, your lips parting to breathe out one word.

“Daryl.”

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cumikering · 1 year

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Possessive best friend Soap x reader 2

2.1k | fluff, violence How you met Soap (Part 1) (Part 3)

You and Johnny went to the same secondary school in a small town in Northern Scotland. You grew up watching the group of boys at the canteen, garish with their jokes and booming laughter, the one with the mohawk the most prominent.

In sixth year, you shared the same class and finally got to know his name – John Mactavish, or Johnny for short. Like the typical teenager, he was boisterous with his pals, often getting chalks chucked at him by yelling teachers when his pranks interrupted classes.

You, on the other hand, were quiet and studious. For your 16th birthday, in an attempt to make more friends, your mum coerced you into baking something for the class. You did so begrudgingly with your minimal baking skills, showing up the next day at school with two huge Tupperwares.

“Oi, are those brownies?” a voice called as you took your seat. It was Johnny, nodding at the Tupperwares on your table.

“Yes,” you confirmed, taken aback that he was talking to you.

He hopped off the table and approached you with a grin. “May I please have some?” He couldn’t contain his excitement - he loved brownies.

“Sure,” you said, avoiding his piercing blue eyes. “I’m sharing them with everyone actually. It’s um- my birthday.”

“Oh, is it? Happy birthday to you!” He took the seat in front of you.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, cracking open a Tupperware.

The delicious smell hit him right in the face and he didn’t waste another second before grabbing a piece. He groaned as he savoured the first bite.

“Steamin’ bloody Jesus, it’s pure dead brilliant,” he declared with wide eyes.

You laughed at his eagerness, only now looking up to meet his eyes.

“Can I please have more?” he deadpanned.

You nodded.

“Thank you!” he took another piece. “Oi, everyone! It’s my pal’s birthday. Come wish ‘em and get some mad brownies!”

Your gazes locked for a moment longer before your classmates gathered with their wishes. He gave you a playful smile, the smile you eventually came to discover was almost a permanent embellishment on his face.

Johnny had noticed you early into the school year. You were one of the few who always listened to teachers during lessons and only spoke when you were spoken to. Not his favourite kind of student to befriend if he was honest, but he was glad to have assisted you that day. Your grateful smile was all the reward he needed.

He started talking to you after that. With his signature grin, he pestered you about baking more for him, sometimes asked you to join his table during recess. You started smiling more and made good friends for yourself too. You flourished that year, finally coming out of your shell.

Joining Special Forces was all Johnny could talk about ever since befriending you, including his (silly) failed attempts to join by lying about his age. When the SAS finally accepted him at 18, as he’d generously shouted from your porch one afternoon, he kicked the door of your room open with the biggest smile. Despite the twist in your stomach, you couldn’t be prouder of him.

In the sea of recruits, Johnny stood out even without his mohawk. He had grown taller and much buffer, also successfully grew a decent stubble the past year (even that he had to shave it all off). He looked dashing in his snug, creaseless uniform.

John Mactavish was a boy no more.

Sending him off was bittersweet. He was stepping off into a completely different world, leaving you behind. When he pulled you into a tight embrace, you wished him the best with your entire heart, accepting it as the end of your friendship.

Johnny didn’t think the same at all. While his friends came and go, you were the one who stood the test of time and remained in his life throughout the years. He always found the time to send you letters and silly doodles torn off his journal – you kept them all in a shoebox under your bed. In return, you sent him care packages filled with your baked goods and Irn Bru, his favourite fizzy.

It was hard not to fall for you when you were always there for him every step of the way, watching each other grow up. You were his home away from home. The few times a year he did visit, his attraction towards only strengthen with each passing minute.

After you graduated uni, you thought you were crazy when you moved to Hereford where his base was. Sure, it was a bigger city with better opportunities, but there were other cities to move to. But you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore - you wanted to be closer to him. Johnny was thrilled to bits the news, taking you everywhere he knew, making sure you settled right in.

One evening as you headed to one of his favourite pubs, a police officer shot an unsavoury comment about you as you passed his patrol car. You shrugged it off, not wanting to cause a scene despite pulling your jacket tighter around yourself. It didn’t go unnoticed by Johnny who picked up his pace to the pub before slipping away as you looked through the menu.

“Oi, you!” he challenged when he rounded the corner, his growl rumbling through the street as he stalked towards the officer.

He jumped, straightening up from the side of his car before turning to the voice.

He got right up to the taller man’s face. “Aye, you. Get tae fuck!”

One step back and his fist made contact with the officer’s face. He thudded onto the bonnet of his sedan.

Johnny blinked at the limp body, not expecting him to get knocked out cold from a singular punch. Before he slid off onto the ground, he grabbed him by the collar and chucked him into the backseat of his own vehicle.

His mindless stunt didn’t come with no consequences. He almost got disciplinary action, but was lucky the officer didn’t press charges due to embarrassment. You were none the wiser, thinking he simply went to the loo because he came back minutes after with an easy smile.

Months went by and despite spending a lot of time together, you started to lose hope of Johnny seeing you romantically. If any, resentment ripened in you from how oblivious he was. Inspired by some of your co-workers’ success, you tried online dating instead in hopes of finding someone who would return your feelings.

The first time Johnny heard the series of Tinder pings off your phone, his brows furrowed. He looked up from his journal to you giggling at your phone.

“Wha’ the fuck was that?”

“Hmm?” You hummed as your typing continued.

“Who are ye talking to?” he pressed on.

You were too distracted to notice the edge in his voice. “Oh, it’s a bloke from Tinder,” you chirped, still not looking up from the screen.

“Tinder?” He scoffed. “Since when did you get that desperate?”

Your smiled dropped. The remark hit too close to home. You weren’t desperate; you felt like a fool for waiting around for someone so long. When you finally looked up, he was back on his journal, his unsmiling face resting on his hand.

Trust Johnny to make insensitive comments and take jokes too far, and of course, trust him to be the fucking idiot who would be blind to his sins. You didn’t have the energy to explain yourself to someone who didn’t want to listen, so you let him be. And that was how the crack sneaked up between the two of you. The quieter you remained, the more he pestered you, which in turn made you withdraw more.

Knowing how much fun you had on these dates, even when none were fruitful, prodded the back of his mind. Johnny didn’t like it one bit when you spent weekends with anyone else but him, feeling replaced by these vague men he knew couldn’t compare to him. It only took one good date for some man to take you away.

But by God, John Mactavish was a fucking idiot with unchecked anger and a crippling fear of rejection who didn’t know how to articulate his feelings. So of course he started demanding you to tell him who you were meeting and where. For safety purposes, he said. He was right though: you’ve heard of the horror stories of dates gone wrong. You told him if he was in town, and your other friends if he wasn’t.

One day, you saw someone one too many times for his jealousy to spark again. He wasn’t supposed to stick his nose up in your business, but it was too easy despite the modest information you gave him. A trip to the tech department later, the poor bloke’s life record was at his disposal within a few minutes. It turned out the man in question was a petty scammer who sported multiple fake names in his swindling endeavour.

Johnny smirked at the discovery. “Jack-fuckin-pot.”

In the middle of your next date, Johnny waltzed into the pub.

“Hey, you. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh, hi.” You eyed him sideways. He knew you’d be there. “Ah, Nathan, this is my friend, Johnny.”

He nodded at your date who offered a hand instead. His smile was too smug for Johnny’s liking, so he grabbed his hand far firmer than necessary - the near invisible wince satisfied him.

“Nice to meet ya, pal. Please don’t mind me. I’m waiting for a friend.” He plopped down next to you.

Nathan didn’t miss a beat. “If I’m honest, I’d rather not be interrupted on my date.”

It seemed like Johnny struck a nerve with the handshake. He wanted to bark out a laugh, but mustered an innocent smile instead. Keep going…

“Terribly sorry, mate, but he should be here soon. Hope you don’t mind.” He turned to you. “Remember Theo, the coppa? He just got a lead on a local scammer.”

You chuckled. “That seems like sensitive information. Don’t think you should be telling me.”

“Yeah, no, but I feel you need to know since the guy’s operates on Tinder.”

“Sorry, mate, I do mind. Would appreciate it if you could just find your own table,” Nathan interjected, the smile gone.

“Assertive lad, I respect that.” He nodded, pushing himself off his seat. “Sorry to bother. Guess I’ll just meet him elsewhere then.” He looked at Nathan dead in the eye. “Anyway, the bastard’s called Randy Wilson, so if you ever catch him, run the other way.”

He caught the twitch of the bloke’s eye.

Johnny left out the front door and rounded the place, leaning against the wall opposite the back door. Within 10 minutes, exactly like he’d predicted, the door swung open.

“Oi, Nathan!” He uncrossed his arms, stomping towards your date with a smirk. “Any chance you know where I can find Randy fuckin’ Wilson? He owes me two dozen broken ribs.”

The asshole couldn’t hide his terror at the sight of the hulking Scot, smugness long gone as he held his arms up to no avail.

“Ugh, saw the bloke out the back door.” Johnny grimaced as he pulled out the seat in front of you.

“Not surprised,” you replied dryly. “Seems like you really peeved him. A muppet for leaving me to pay for his drinks though.”

Johnny paid for the bastard’s part of the tab before walking you home.

“Oh, Johnny? You’re not meeting fucking Theo, are you? He lives on the other end of the city.” You gave him the side eye, an amused smile on your lips. “I know you were dead bored and just love to annoy me.”

He turned to you with a shit eating grin.

“Can’t be mad at you though.” You huffed. “Guess Nathan is the jealous, alpha male kind of guy after all. He’s hot and he knows it. Probably controlling if we ever get serious. Wouldn’t have known if you didn’t show.” You shrugged. “Oh well, guess I dodged a bullet. But you’re not crashing any of my dates anymore, okay?” You poked the middle of his chest.

Little did you know, Johnny started looking into every guy you were seeing ever since – Randy was too much of a close call. Thankfully, he never had to intervene because no one lasted more than two dates, but most importantly no one was dodgy.

Except for one other bastard.

Feedback and constructive criticism are welcomed

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#call of duty #cod #cod mw2 #soap cod #cod fanfic #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #cod mwii #johnny soap mactavish #soap #possessive soap #soap mactavish #cod fanart #call of duty mw2

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hunter-sylvester · 1 month

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The quiet sexual assault symbolism in Metal Lords.

[TW] Discussion of SA, SA aftermath, and SA symbolism.

Every time I've written about these scenes I've felt like I had to hold back. But fuck it, right? I was inspired by this ask to actually share a bit more of my thoughts on the topic.

I can't overstate that I don't think any of this was intentional. I don't believe the scene was ever supposed display any more explicit SA, I think it's all purely accidental. Which, if you ask me, tends to be where the best emotional representation happens.

There's two scenes that unintentionally mirror the typical portrayal of sexual assault and its emotional aftermath. The scene where Skip attacks Hunter, cutting a chunk of his hair off. And the following scene where Hunter shaves the side of his head in his bedroom.

How many times have we seen female characters cut their hair after an abusive relationship or after being assaulted? And how many of us, regardless of gender, have done the same? Hacking away at our hair with blunt scissors and tears in our eyes. Standing over the bathroom sink trying to somehow cut out the memory.

And we know the likely "why" to the typical post-trauma haircut. It's looking in the mirror and seeing something other than the person that endured the trauma. It's taking back control over our bodies.

Before the attack even happens, Hunter's been slowly losing the control that he at least thought he had. Control over himself, his surroundings, and not to mention: Kevin. Kevin's pursuit of Emily creates an important crack in Hunter's perception of their relationship. And is evidence of the lack of control he really has over it.

Everything about the attack screams accidental SA metaphor. He's ambushed by several guys, overpowered, "gagged." A piece of him is taken, only to be discarded. Because it was never about the thing that's taken, only that it's violently ripped away. And afterwards he's left writhing on the floor. Eyes wide in disbelief. Trying to process what just happened to him.

That scene in isolation already has this theme thoroughly woven into it, but I think it's really hammered home in the one that follows.

Of course, Kevin is there with him. The person he feels most comfortable around. The person he needs now more than ever.

Not only does Hunter directly call Skip's coach a rapist before lamenting that when Skip & his friends come back they'll "ass-rape" him. (Again, I don't think that's a literal accusation, but the fact that that's where his mind went in at the very least notable.)

More importantly: he blames himself.

Kevin justly points out that Hunter didn't "get them suspended." They got themselves suspended by attacking Hunter. But he pushes back. Pointing out that he flicked Skip in the face first.

Let's not let it slide how much of a batshit escalation Skip's actions are. Even if we take everything entirely at face value, Skip is fucking unhinged. As most bullies are.

The fact that Hunter flicked Skip in the face in no way justifies him literally hacking off a chuck of Hunter's hair. But the fact that Hunter tries to justify it as being his fault brings it that much closer to the SA symbolism. It's painfully common for us to assume we must have done something to warrant the abuse we face. That we made the fatal mistake that led to it all, rather than it being a decision made by our attackers.

Obviously, at face value, Hunter shaving the side of his head is a logical way to deal with a chunk of his hair being cut off. It's that or cutting all of his hair off. Part of me feels like that's what Skip would have been hoping for. So choosing the shaved side instead feels like a subtle(ish) "fuck you" in and of itself. It's Hunter reclaiming his hair.

It's also that step towards regaining control. It's destruction on Hunter's own terms. (cough see the fucking jacket post cough) (and for that matter my other haircut post)

It's removing Skips fingerprints in favor of the scratch-marks of Hunter's own nails. Because by fuck is the stinging those leave preferable over the dull aching memory of Skip's hands on him.

For a split second we see him realize even a sliver of the impact of it all. When he's no longer able to distract himself by focusing purely on the act of shaving his head, he can't ignore what's directly staring back at him. That he's not the same as he was anymore. He's a different Hunter from the one that woke up that morning. He's been defiled. Destroyed. Partly by his own hand. Which doesn't exactly dull the sting of it but it at least makes it his. At least he has ownership over his damage. At least some of it's on his terms.

Of course the thing he turns to to snap himself out of this is to seek Kevin's approval.

A plea, perhaps. Tell me I'm not as broken as I feel. Tell me I'm not completely destroyed. Tell me I'm going to come out the other end of this. Tell me you still love me.

(I'm aware this scene is played relatively lighthearted, and that I'm in fact insane. Water is also wet.)

I think that's all I have on this for now. Might add more later idk

#hunterposts #hunterwriteswords #cw sa mention #cw sa implied #tw sa mention #sa tw #sa mention #metal lords #hunter sylvester #skip hoffman #idk why it's “quiet” I just thought it sounded good tbh #metallords #character analysis

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sturniololoco · 7 months

Text

Can’t hate you pt 3

Sturniolo Little Sister (SLS) X Nathan Doe

Warnings: Cussing, hitting, mentions of SA later in the series(and no, it was not Nate), etc.

ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .° ᡣ𐭩

SLS/N’s POV

I was sitting alone in my room, alone, in the dark, mindlessly scrolling on my phone when I got a notification.

Nicholas Sturniolo just posted 12 new photos

I clicked on the tab, then scrolled through the pictures, laughing at a few, especially at the one with Chris and I.

But then so got to the bottom, looking at the last three posts.

Nate and I side by side smiling, Nate and I back to back with a sweet tea, then a blurry shot of my chucking my sweet tea in his face.

The picture was too blurry to make out the anger and hatred I felt in that moment, and I was glad.

I scrolled down to check the comments:

Omg the last one 😂. 104 ❤️

aww! 47 ❤️

Oh my gosh I totally ship Nate and SLS/N!!! 1254 ❤️

I felt my face go red at the last one. Slamming my phone down onto the comforter, I sighed leaning my head back on the pillows.

Just before I stood to go take a shower, I saw the headlight pull into the drive way through my window.

The sound of the door opening and the boys talking filled the house. It sounded like they were now sitting on the couch talking.

But then the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs caught my attention.

it was probably Nick coming to scold me. Or thank me for the good shot.

But when the door was flung open, a sweet tea covered Nate walked in, closing the door behind him.

“Wow, knock much?” I asked him, nonchalantly going back to my phone to hide my red cheeks.

His shirt was soaking wet, making it stick to his toned stomach.

What is wrong with me?

“I’ll start knocking when you fix your attitude.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

I rolled my eyes, still trying to hide my cherry red face from him.

“What is your problem?”

I wish I had another sweet tea to throw at him. instead I slammed my phone into the bed and stood up, getting close to his face.

I was no longer blushing. I was mad.

“What is my problem? Are you serious? My problem is the fact that you show up here, expecting everything to go back to the way it was. But you need to understand that it won’t, not after what you did.” I say, tears of anger welling up in my eyes, only to over flow into my face.

Nate’s face drops as he looks down at me, his arms still crossed over his chest.

“You can’t still be mad about what happened senior year?” He says, his tone no longer mad, but questioning.

I look at him, dead in the eyes. I don’t say a word, know if I speak, I’ll break.

I give him a stern nod, tears pooling over my eyes.

“SLS/N… I-I’m sorry…” he starts, reaching out to touch my arm.

I take a step back before going around him, saying,

“I don’t think sorry is gonna cut it this time.”

After leaving my own room, I went to Nicks and showered in there, throwing on a fresh love suit that he got from Chris.

I walked downstairs with wet hair to see the boys sitting in the couch watching a movie and eating pizza.

After grabbing a piece, I sit next to Nick, who just so happens to be sitting the furthest away from Nate.

I can feel his eyes on me the whole time, not even watching the movie, but I don’t dare look up.

It’s not worth the risk of him thinking I care about him again.

“we’re going to bed” Chris says, standing up from his spot on the couch.

Nate stands and follows him, as he’s sharing a room with him. There door closes as Matt stands, saying that he’s going to bed as well.

Eventually it’s just Nick and I, sitting in silence, that is until he speaks.

“So, uh, what happened with the sweet tea catastrophe?” Nick asked giving me a goofy smile.

I can’t help but laugh, that picture was hilarious.

Nick is the only person who knows what happens with us in high school. He knows why I don’t trust him.

After explaining what happens, and complimenting him on his camera work, he says,

“I think you should give him a shot.”

I whip my head around to stare at him, giving him crazy eyes.

“Woah, don’t break ya neck on me! I’m just saying, I can see the way he looks at you. And I know you blush almost every time he talks to you.”

I try to stutter out an explanation, but I can’t think of one.

I hadn’t been blushing! Had I?

“I-well…okay, maybe, but still. I cant let myself get sucked back into him. Not after what happens last time.” I say, feeling the tears well up in my eyes at the memory.

he gives me a small, sympathetic smile before saying,

“listen, I know you’re scared and upset, and you have every right to be. But take into account that it was high school, we were all dumb back then, some of us still are.”

I think about his words, carefully. I may not trust Nate, but I can see where he’s coming from.

“At least try? That’s all I’m asking.” Nick pleads, grabbing my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

I look up at him.

“I’ll give him one more second chance.” I say.

Nick smiles, pulling me into a hug, and that’s how we fell asleep.

“Sis, wake up. We gotta go film a car video for tomorrow.” Matt said, petting my hair til I woke up.

I sat up quickly, forgetting where I was. Checking my surroundings, I quickly found out that I was still on the couch but a pillow replaced Nick.

I quickly walked up to my room to get read, already knowing my hair was a mess.

The car was kinda tight with 5 people in it, but we managed. Nick and Nate were in the back, leaning over me, who was sitting on the car floor behind the center console, to get into view.

The topic of today’s video was memories with Nate and growing up with him in Boston.

Per usual, everyone was acting silly and joking around, but I stay r rather quiet.

Yes, I had many good memories with Nate, we used to be best duo in Somerville.

Until he changed that, so now the bad memories overpowered the good ones.

“You and Nate used to be really close before we moved, what stories do you got sis?” Nick said, poking me in the back.

I turned slightly to look at him. He gave me a knowing look back.

“I’ll give him one more second chance.”

I sighed, knowing he was right, I should give him one more second chance.

“I-um… yeah, we used to ride bikes and stuff around our neighborhood.” I said, my face turning red as soon as the words leave my mouth.

I mentally face planed myself for sounding so awkward.

“Wow. BORING! I remember…” Chris said making the car laugh, my red face finally sinking back into my skin.

The I felt a singular finger rub up and down my arm. But this time it wasn’t Nick.

Just as my face went back to its fire truck shade of red, my phone buzzed.

I opens it to see Nate had texted me. For the first time in months.

we need to talk. Tonight

We made it home from the car video with little fuss. We grabbed dinner from Canes on the way home, but this time, I told my brothers my order.

After excusing myself from the living room, I made my way up to my room to shower.

But before I could turn the water on, there was a knock on my door.

And this time, I knew who it was.

Maybe a little smut next chapter 🤫

@idkwhosnyla @babypat08 @eyelessdemon00 @christopherowensturniolo @sturnsxx @freshloveforthefit @matty443355 @sleepysturnss @emeraldgreenbeautiesstu @sunsetsturniolos @hoesturniolo @x4nd3rsukz @chr1sgirl4life @sstvrnioloo @sturns-posts @chrisstopherfilmed @kylasrealityx @zoeysturnioloooooo @comet235 @islaasblog @sturnioloblogs @defnotayonna @mattsleftnipple03 @thematthewlover @mattsaq @idkhowtosleep

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nathan doe smut #nathan doe #nathan doe x reader #sturniolo sister x reader #sturniolo sister

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devilat-thedoor · 1 year

Text

Hands to Yourself Pt5

🤍Oh Babes🤍

Only gonna preface this one by saying sorry & pls forgive me💖 P.S. HAPPY FUCKING STARCATCHER DAY🤍🤍🤍🤍

Part 4

Word Count: 11.4k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: (TRIGGER WARNING! mentions of SA)18+ Minors DNI, a lot of angst and sadness in this part. some fluff, a lil smut. Unprotected Sex, Fighting(verbal & physical). i don’t know, there’s probably more that i’m missing.

And if I ever catch the ones who hurt you, I’m hoping that God looks away this time…

The overhead light illuminated the kitchen as someone flicked the switch. Sage looked up in horror, yanking her hands from Jake like a kid caught in the cookie jar. Jake was taking several steps from her, trying to speak to you. You stared blankly, Odessa’s voice was ringing in your ears as well, but you couldn’t pick up on any of the words. It felt like you were in a fever dream.

Blinking away the tears, your anger came back in full force. “I’ll fucking end you!” You picked up the wine bottle from the island and set your sights on Sage. Just as you reeled your arm back to throw the bottle, someone behind you snatched it from your hand. “You stupid fucking bitch.” You spat the words at her as you lunged across the kitchen towards her. Balling your hand up, you threw a jab, catching her cheek. She brought her hands up to shield her face from your attack. When you went to land another hit, your knuckles connected with her nose before a pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders, locking your arms at your side. You flailed and kicked, “Let go of me! LET GO!” You screamed at whoever was holding onto you. Josh.

His soft, even voice broke through the cloud of rage, “Y/N, calm down for a second…”

You wriggled out of his grip, turning to face him. “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!” You shoved Josh’s chest and whipped your attention back around to Sage. She tried to tuck herself behind Sam to hide but when he saw your face, he stepped aside, giving you full access to her. “You’re a fucking snake!” You picked up the closest thing on the island, a glass, and chucked it at her. She ducked away just in time, the cup colliding with the wall and shattering.

She held her hands up, a pleading tone in her voice. “He wanted it! It wasn’t just me, Y/N!”

Your face twisted in disgust as you inched closer to her, “He wanted it?” Your eyes flashed to Jake, his eyes wide as he opened his mouth to speak. You didn’t give him the chance. “I don't know what kind of shit goes on in that convoluted mind of yours…” Your face was mere centimeters from hers as you spit your venom soaked words at her, “You fucking took advantage of him!” Your palm cracked across her face, the sound echoing through the room. Everyone stared in stunned silence as you grabbed her hair, dragging her through the kitchen and into the living room. “Get the fuck out of my house.” Shoving the back of her head, you released her hair. “Sage, I swear to god, if I ever see your face again… Stay away from me and stay the fuck away from Jake.”

She turned to look at you as she walked backwards towards the front hallway, blood dripping from her nose and the corner of her mouth. “It won’t be much longer before he realizes he doesn’t want you…” The threat left her mouth with an evil smirk as she slipped through the front door, closing it behind her.

When you turned back around, you were met with a slew of cautious faces. Nobody made a sound, afraid of what you might do. Your breath was leaving your lungs in angry huffs as you pushed past the crowded doorway and back into the kitchen. “Where is Jake?” You half yelled when he wasn’t in the spot he had previously been in.

Odessa’s hand landed on your shoulder. “Babe, hey. Take a breath for-” You cut her off, ripping your body from her touch.

“If one more of you tell me to fucking relax, I-” You paused, taking a deep breath, “Get the fuck out.” Your finger shot in the direction of the door as you shouted at the group. “All of you get out of my fucking house. Please.” None of them made a move, except for Josh. He came up, placing his hand on your back in what was meant to be a soothing manner, but it only fueled your anger more. You pulled away from him, slamming your fist into the refrigerator door. “FUCK!” You didn’t give anybody else the chance to say anything as you stormed out of the kitchen.

Heading for your bedroom in search of your boyfriend, you stopped when you noticed the bathroom door cracked, a glimmer of light seeping through the small opening. You stepped closer, hearing a quiet sob. Pushing through the door, you found Jake. He was in a heap on the floor in front of the toilet, his body shaking with ragged cries and unsteady breaths. You shut the door behind you and dropped to the floor beside him. “Jake, baby…” You tugged on his arm, pulling him up from the cold tiles. “Honey, look at me, please. Are you okay?” Using your hoodie sleeve, you wiped the vomit from the corner of his mouth.

His bloodshot eyes were full of sorrow, matching the rest of his tear-soaked face. “I’m so- I’m so sorry.” His words choked out through hiccups and cries. You felt your own tears begin to fall at the state he was in. “I didn’t-... You have to-” You cupped his face as he struggled to say what he wanted to, wiping away his tears as they flowed. “Y/N…” Your name ripped from his throat in the form of a sob. It was the most heart wrenching sound you’d ever heard.

“Jake, no…” You pulled him against you, holding him tight to your chest. He tucked his knees into his chest and curled into you, so vulnerable and childlike. You knew the alcohol in his system was amplifying his emotions, but you’d never seen him like this. The pain you felt multiplied with every whimper he made. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Jacob. Do you hear me?” You brushed your hands over his hair, wanting nothing more than to comfort and console him. This was your fault. You let her into your lives. Into your relationship. You fucked up and Jake had paid the price for it. When you heard his breathing start to even out, you spoke in the softest voice, “Baby, can I take you to bed, please?” His eyes were half shut as he looked up at you, giving a nod. You stood up, helping Jake to his feet with you. You kept a grip on his waist as you led him out of the bathroom, surprised to find that everyone had really left upon your request.

Pushing your bedroom door open, you shuffled Jake inside and sat him on the edge of the bed. “Can I take these off of you, Jake?” You gestured to his swim trunks. He mumbled an approval, lifting from the bed and allowing you to pull the swimsuit down his legs. “Just stand here for a second longer, baby.” You went to his dresser to grab a pair of boxers and returned, helping him put them on. “Get into bed, Jakey.” You peeled the duvet back and he slipped in, nestling against the pillows and closing his eyes. You pulled the blanket over him and turned to leave the room and clean up the mess in the kitchen.

Jake’s hand caught your wrist in a loose grasp. “Please don’t leave me.” His voice was so dejected. “I can’t lose you…” He trailed off, quiet snores leaving his mouth as it hung open.

You chewed on your trembling lip, as the tears began streaming down your face. He thinks you’re mad at him? You watched his face as he slept, silently crying to yourself. Crawling into bed behind him, you snuck one arm under his neck and draped the other around his torso, resting your palm flat on his chest. Right over his steadily beating heart. You pressed your lips to his back, letting them linger there for a bit. You knew he was in a deep slumber. Nothing was going to wake him until the morning, but you still whispered to him, “You’ll never lose me, Jake.”

________________________________________________

The morning came fast. Unsure of what time you had fallen asleep, you awoke with a slight pounding in your head. Your hand slid over the bed, reaching for your boyfriend out of habit, only to find you were alone. You sat up to check the time on your phone, but it wasn’t in its usual spot on your nightstand. Remembering that it never came to bed with you, the memories from the night before flooded your brain like a tsunami. Your feet were dragging you from the bed and out of the room before your brain could comprehend the movements. Where is he? Stepping into the hallway, you opened your mouth to call his name but closed it as your ears caught the soft notes of the acoustic strings floating through the air. You followed the sound to the spare bedroom where the door sat opened. Lingering in the doorway, you watched Jake, sat in the dark burgundy, tufted leather chair, picking out a somber melody on his guitar.

The floor creaked beneath you, alerting him of your presence. He looked up at you, “Hey…” His tone was low, as though he was scared. You noticed his eyes first, still red, still carrying that same sad look.. He pulled his lips in and looked down at his fingers, resting on the strings. You took a few steps forward, wanting nothing more than to hold him but when his face turned back to you, it halted you in your tracks. His expression was pained as a tear slid down his cheek, dripping from his chin and onto the guitar. “I thought she was you.” He kept his voice quiet, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand. “I was too drunk… I swear I didn’t know. I would’ve never-”

“Jake,” You took the acoustic from his hand and laid it on the floor as you knelt in front of him. “That’s the point. You were drunk. Baby, I am not mad at you… You did nothing wrong.” You held his hands in yours as you spoke. “Do you understand me?”

He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I can’t stop picturing your face when you came into the kitchen. The hurt… Betrayal.” He took a shaky breath, “It made me sick… The thought that I caused it.”

Grabbing his face, you forced his attention back to you. “Baby, look at me. I need you to really hear what I’m about to say.” You waited for his eyes to connect with yours and spoke in a calming voice, “You did not cause me any hurt, Jake. She took advantage of you.” You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name, but you continued, “You were drunk and she used that to her convenience. What she did was assault. Do you understand that?”

Jake leaned into your touch, his eyes falling shut for a moment. “I should’ve known better. I did know better.” His tone was becoming slightly frantic. “It didn’t feel right. I knew something was wrong. If I would’ve just trusted my gut, this wouldn’t have happened.” He pulled away, flopping back into the chair with a huff.

“Jacob enough!” Your outburst startled him and you quickly regained your composure, bringing your voice back down, “Stop blaming yourself. You’re the victim here, Jake..” Grabbing his hand again, you hauled him out of the chair and wrapped your arms around him. “This is my fault. I led her straight into our lives. I let her manipulate me and feed me her bullshit lies. I gave her exactly what she wanted and you wound up being collateral damage. I’m so sorry, baby. I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how sorry I am.”

He let his arms circle your back, holding you to him as he placed a kiss to the top of your head. “There was know way to tell what kind of person she was gonna turn out to be…” You chewed on your lip as he spoke into your hair, “It’s over now. She’s out of our lives and you made sure of that last night from what Josh told me.”

You looked up at him then, your brows knitted together. “You talked to Josh? When?”

“This morning. I went to get a drink of water and saw the shattered glass on the kitchen floor.” His hand rubbed mindlessly up and down your back, “I started to remember a little of everything… Called Josh to fill in the blanks while I cleaned up the glass. He said that you dragged her out of the house by her hair after I went to the bathroom.”

Thinking back on the scene, you remembered her parting words, ‘It won’t be much longer…’ An unsettling feeling arose in your chest as you pictured the sinister smile on her face. You laid your head on his chest, allowing the sound of his heart to soothe your anxiety “I don’t think she’ll let go that easily, Jake…”

______________________________________________________

It had been a couple weeks since the day of the cookout. Things were starting to feel normal again. The remaining days of your week off were spent mostly alone, in the house, with Jake. Josh popped in once or twice to check on his twin, but neither you or Jake had the energy or patience to be social. When you went back to work, the days seemed shorter. Business was great, but you weren’t as short staffed as you had been and it was a huge relief. It was about 10:30 on a Wednesday morning in mid July and you were on your way to the garage to get the truck and start your work day. As you pulled your car into its spot in the alleyway, your phone pinged with a notification. You shut the engine off and grabbed the phone from the cupholder, seeing the little pink camera icon.

Instagram: New Message Request

Unhooking your seatbelt, you clicked on the notification and waited for it to load. You began gathering your things to get out of the car as the thumbnail for a video appeared on the screen. You looked at the username at the top of the page, not recognizing it, and stepped out, closing the driver side door and hitting the button to lock the car. Tapping on the thumbnail you stood and watched. The video had no sound and it was dark, you couldn’t make out anything aside from shadows. Assuming it was some kind of joke, you made a move to click out of it but something stopped you as your finger went to slide out of the app. There was a flash of something that caught your eye. A face. Your face. You pulled the phone closer to your eyes to watch, searching for a hint of what this was. The pixelation proved that the video was taken from afar and zoomed in to capture the moment. You were asleep, laying on someone. The camera panned over the person beneath you. Jake? The blurry lens played a cruel trick as the camera drifted upwards to show the mess of matted curls. Josh. “What the hell?” You whispered to yourself as whoever was operating the video zoomed out, revealing that they were on the outside of a window looking in at you and Josh. From the new point of view, you could see your limp body draped over Josh’s, your head on his bare chest and a blanket pulled over the two of you. A mirror image of how you and Jake had slept on the couch together just a few weeks ago. Then it was over, the 40 second video restarting and playing on a loop. When you closed the video to reveal the message thread, there was a text. ‘One isn’t enough… You had to have all three? What will Jake say?’ Your thoughts were swimming, trying to process what this was. One isn’t enough? Why did that sound familiar? A chill creeped through your body. You knew this had to be the same person who sent Jake that picture of you and Sam. You were terrified at the thought that there was somebody out there, watching you from a distance. But what scared you even more is that you had no recollection of the night this video had been taken. You didn’t have an innocent story to explain this one to Jake. What will he say?

Closing Instagram, you opened your phone up to find Ally’s contact info. There was no way you would be able to focus on the truck today with this happening. She picked up on the third ring, “Hello? Y/N?”

“Ally, I know it’s your day off, but is there any way you can run the truck today?” She was the only person you trusted enough to handle your business when you were sick or, in this case, had an emergency. “I’ll give you Friday off, I just- Something personal came up that needs my attention.”

You could hear her yawn on her end, “Yeah, that’s no problem. Can you give me like 20 minutes to throw some clothes on and I’ll meet you at the garage?”

“Okay, yeah. Great. Thank you so much, Ally. I’ll see you soon.” You hung up the phone, breathing out a sigh of relief. Small problem handled… You stared down at the phone in your hand, contemplating whether to bite the bullet and call Jake or wait until you got home to talk about it in person. Before you could make a decision, your ringtone sounded, causing you to jump. There was his name, as if just thinking about him had manifested him. You stared at it, anxiety coursing through your body, wondering if he had gotten the same message. If he was calling to tear into you about the video. Your hands shook as you pressed the green button and brought the phone to your ear. “Hello?” Your voice came out almost too quietly and you cleared your throat, repeating the greeting, “Hello? Jake?”

“Hey, love.” His tone was light and sweet, catching you off guard. “I’m sorry I overslept this morning. I didn’t get the chance to kiss you goodbye.” When you didn’t say anything, he continued the one sided conversation. “Uhhh. Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for having a fresh pot of coffee ready for me and see if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight?” You were picking at the skin on your lip, too lost in your own head to hear what he was saying. His voice came through louder, “Y/N, Are you there?”

You blinked, giving your head a slight shake to clear it, “Yeah, I’m here. I’m sorry, baby. What were you saying?”

“Uh. I- I was asking if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight…Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Umm…Actually, I’m gonna be back home in like, a half hour.” Your mouth felt dry as you spoke, “I’m just waiting on Ally to get here.”

You could hear the concern in Jake’s voice, “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”

The situation was starting to make you feel sick. “N-No. I got a- We just need to talk, that’s all.”

“Talk about what, Y/N?”

Ally was pulling in then, putting her car in park beside yours. “Jake, Ally just got here, I’ll see you at home. I love you.” He didn’t get the chance to respond before you hung up the phone. Shoving the device into your back pocket, you greeted Ally, “I’m so sorry for this being last minute, but I appreciate you more than you know.” You fumbled with your keys, struggling to remove the ring that held the keys for the garage and the truck.

She waved you off, “Girl, It’s no problem at all. Is everything okay?”

Finally pulling the loop free, you placed the keys in her palm with a heavy sigh. “I’m not entirely sure, honestly.” You gave a tight smile, “If there are any issues today, just give me a call. I’ll have my phone on me. Just make it an early day and I’ll meet you back here at four to get the keys and lock up, okay?” She gave a nod of understanding. “Thank you so much for this, Ally, really.” You gave a final wave as you got back into your car and pulled out of the space.

______________________________________________________

Entering the house felt odd. It was eerily quiet. You left your keys on the hook and slipped your shoes off to walk into the living room. Jake was sitting on the edge of the couch, chewing on his fingernails while his legs bounced rapidly. He was on edge. His demeanor, a stark contrast to the sweetness he’d had on the phone with you. Maybe he was just as anxious as you were? But you weren’t sure how his mood would shift once he learned about the message you got. You approached him slowly. “Jake…”

His head shot up, but his body moved faster. He was standing in front of you in a flash, holding your shoulders. “What’s going on? Did something happen to you? Was it her? Did Sa-”

You threw your hands up with a cringe, stopping him from saying her name. “Can we sit down, please. I need to show you something.”

“Yeah, okay.” He pulled you to the couch, allowing you to take a seat before he followed suit. “What is it?”

Studying him for a moment as his foot tapped on the floor, you wondered what had happened between the time you’d gotten off the phone with him to now. You could tell he was growing impatient with your hesitation. “That message that you got a few weeks ago… from the random Instagram account…” Opening up the thread on your phone, you handed it to him, “I got one this morning.” You didn’t elaborate any further, just let him watch for himself.

He clicked the play button and you watched his expressions morph as the video progressed. Confusion. Apprehension. Realization. He watched the loop play over and over for what felt like an eternity. When he finally pushed it out of the way, he saw the message that came with it. “What the fuck is this, Y/N?”

His tone had you nervous as you stammered for something to say. “I don’t know. It’s just- I-“

“You don’t know? Why were you with my brother like that, Y/N?” The growing volume of his voice made you flinch. “Did you sleep with him?”

Your eyes blew wide. How could he think that? “Jacob…” You felt like you were going to pass out.

When you didn’t answer his question, he asked it again. “Did you fuck Josh?!”

“NO JAKE!” You raised your voice right back at him but he wasn’t phased. “Why would you even ask me that?” He trusted you. Didn’t he? “Jake, I didn’t sleep with your brother! With either of them, for fucks sake.”

“Then tell me what’s going on here,” He shoved the phone back into your hands, “Because this is painting a pretty fucking specific picture.”

Unshed tears burned in the corners of your eyes, “I don’t know, Jake. I don’t remember this. I-“

He cut you off, standing up to pace the living room. “You don’t remember? So you don’t even know if you slept with him or not?” You’d never seen him blow up like this. Not at you. He never directed his anger at you, never yelled at you, even when you deserved it.

You felt so small, intimidated by his booming voice and accusations. But still, you stood your ground “I would never, Jake. You know that. You know me!” Your tears were flowing freely now as you stood to meet him. “I would never even dream of cheating on you, I told you that! I don’t want anybody but you!”

The look on his face was one you could’ve gone your whole life without seeing ever again. The same look he had when he was in pieces on the bathroom floor that night. The anger had dissipated from his tone, carrying a heavy sadness now. His next words cut you like a blade. “You don’t want anybody else, but you wanted her… You fucked her. Brought her into our bed…” It was a low blow and he knew it, but he still put the cherry on top, “I’m not enough for you, am I?”

He was already backing away from you, towards the door. “Baby, please…” You were crying hard, chasing after him. “Jake, don’t leave. Please.” You couldn’t get a response out of him, he wouldn’t even look at you as he put his shoes on and pulled the door open. “I love you…” The last three words hung in the air as he slammed the heavy door shut in your face, leaving you to clean up the mess you’d made of your relationship. Why is this happening…

You sunk to the floor, staring at the door. The wall he put up between the two of you. A barrier to protect himself from you. From the hurt that you keep causing him. You buried your head in your hands, sobbing in the cold silence of your home. He just left. He wouldn’t hear you out. You couldn’t blame him, though. This was so much worse than the photo he’d received of you and his little brother. At least you could explain that one. But this? You went back to the couch to get your phone. You sat, watching the video loop play, trying to find any kind of context that may be there. Nothing. You called Jake, ready to beg him to just come back home. Come back to you. He wouldn’t answer, but you kept trying. Call after call, text after text. After an hour, you gave up and called Josh, maybe he would have some kind of insight on the video. No answer. So you texted him.

You 12:42pm: need to talk to you. something happened, Jake left and he won’t answer my calls

His response came almost immediately.

Joshy 12:44pm: He’s here

You 12:45pm: at your house? i’m coming now.

You rushed to put your shoes on and head out the door when another text came through.

Joshy 12:47pm: don’t come. he needs to cool down.

You hit the phone icon at the top of the screen, calling Josh’s number again only to be met with the voicemail. He stopped returning your texts. There was nothing you could do. If you went to Josh’s, you ran the risk of pushing Jake further away from you. The thought was terrifying. You trudged mindlessly through the house, doing little tasks to keep your mind busy, until there was nothing left. So you sat, planted on the couch, staring into space while time ticked by. Only snapping out of your trance when your phone pinged on the cushion beside you. A text from Ally, letting you know she was on her way back to the garage. Almost 4 hours had gone by since Jake walked out the door. You hauled yourself off of the couch to go meet Ally. The only motivation being that he might be here by the time you got back…

________________________________________________

7:56pm. He’s not coming home.

You called him when you’d gotten back from the garage. No answer. Called again before your shower at 6pm. Nothing. You sat on the edge of your bed, on Jake’s side, and clicked his contact. Just one more try. You listened as it rang, willing him to answer. To just hear his voice, to know that he’s okay, that he’s safe, that was all you needed. But the voicemail was all there was.

You grabbed Jake’s pillow, hugging it to you as you slid down to the carpeted floor. Pressing your face to the soft fabric, you breathed in, inhaling the lingering scent of him. Hot tears spilled over your lashes and onto the pillow. You were beginning to lose hope that he’d come back to you. Maybe this was a fuck up you couldn’t make up for. Laying on the floor, curled into the fetal position, you cried into the pillow. Your chest was on fire with your ragged breathing, eyes swollen and bloodshot. You let everything out until there was nothing left. Until your body gave in to the dismal exhaustion and you eventually passed out.

“Y/N…” His voice echoed in your head. You could feel his touch, his hand so gentle on your back, in your dream. “Baby, wake up.” The words were so clear, so warm, as if he was here. Like he never left. Your body shook, startling you. Your eyes snapped open to see Jake, kneeling in front of you. It’s not a dream… He’s here. He came home. “Why are you on the floor, love?”

You sat up, throwing your body into his, hugging him, holding him. You needed to be sure this was real, not some sick joke your mind was playing on you. “You came back.” You whispered the words into his shirt, clinging to him as though he’d float away if you let go. And you still weren’t entirely sure that he wouldn’t. “I didn’t think you’d come home… back to me.”

He pressed his lips together, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “Come sit with me, we need to talk.” He stood up, taking your hand in his and led you out into the living room. You didn’t open your mouth to speak, afraid that you might upset him again. He sat you on the couch and retreated to the kitchen. Your nerves were causing your hands to shake and you rubbed them up and down your legs to make it stop. “Here, my love.” Jake’s return startled you, but what caught you even more off guard was his soft tone. The use of your pet name. A complete 180 from the last time he’d spoken to you, just hours ago.

You blinked up at him as he held a glass of wine out to you. You were cautious as you took the glass from his hand, unsure of what was about to unfold. You dropped your eyes to floor, “Jake, I-”

He cut you off, sitting down beside you, “No. Me first.” He took a long drink from his glass. “I acted like an ass this morning. I’m sorry, Y/N, you didn’t deserve that.” You chewed the inside of your cheek, listening to him. “I got freaked out when you said that you were coming home and we needed to talk. I didn’t know what to expect. While I waited for you to get here, I got a weird message and then you came in and showed me that video and I didn’t know what to think.”

You looked at him then, placing your glass on the coffee table. “Jake, I can’t offer an explanation for that video. I may not remember it, but I know in my heart that I did not cheat on you. I didn’t sleep with Josh.” You took a deep, shaky breath, “I know how bad it looks…But If you don’t have trust for me then-“

“No, I do trust you.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards him. “And I know you didn’t sleep with him, he told me.” You allowed yourself to lean into his side and hear him out, “I went straight to his place when I left, told him about the video. I described it to him without having the actual thing to show him and he knew exactly what I was talking about.”

“He knew about the video?”

“Not the video, just the night in question.” He rubbed his thumb over your palm as he continued, “It was earlier this year. When you thought the house was haunted.” He said it with a chuckle. You thought back, remembering little details about that night.

Late March. The winter chill was finally gone, letting the light warmth of spring blanket the atmosphere. Jake left early in the morning with Sam. They had flown home for a few days to do an appearance at one of the local radio stations in their hometown. You were used to being home and sleeping alone, as much as Jake was on tour, so the two nights by yourself were nothing. You crawled into bed that night, calling your boyfriend to tell him goodnight, before laying your head on the pillow and passing out. Something had woken you, but you weren’t sure what it was. You leaned over to check the time on your phone. It was after 12am. You decided to get up to use the bathroom before you tried to go back to sleep. On your way back to bed, you passed the spare bedroom, Jake’s study. You stopped when you heard what sounded like papers being shuffled around. Peeking through the crack in the door, you couldn’t make anything out in the darkness. As you gripped the knob to push the door open further, you were startled by the sound of shattering glass, causing you to run back to your room, slamming the door shut and locking it. You picked your phone up and called Jake and tucked yourself in the far corner of the bed, furthest from the door.

“Baby…?” His voice was groggy and sleep ridden. You’d woken him up.

“Jake? Something is happening in the house.”

He was more alert after hearing your frantic tone. “What do you mean? Are you okay?”

“I think our house is haunted, Jake. There’s a ghost!” You stared at the door, realizing how ridiculous you sounded.

You heard him groan through the phone, “Y/N… You woke me up in the middle of the night because you think there’s a ghost in the house?” He paused, waiting for you to respond, but you stayed quiet. “Okay, my love… Why- What happened…” He patiently listened to you tell him what you’d heard. “Do you hear anything else?”

You chewed on your lip for a moment, quietly listening for any sound. “No…” You stood up from the bed and tiptoed to the door, “I’m gonna go look.”

Now Jake’s tone was frantic, “Be careful! Someone could’ve broken in.”

You stopped in your tracks, “Don’t say that, Jake! I’m here by myself!” Your hands were shaking. “I didn’t even think of that… What if there’s someone out there?!”

“Baby, just stay in the room, I’m gonna call Josh to come check on everything.”

“Okay…”

You stood in the middle of the room, waiting for him to call you back. A text came instead. ‘On the phone with Josh. he’s on his way.’

Fourteen minutes had gone by. You were chewing on your fingernails when you heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

“Y/N? It’s me.” You pulled the door open to find Josh. “I don’t think there’s anybody here…” He was rubbing his eyes, clearly sleepy, and still on the phone with his twin.

“Did you check the spare bedroom?”

He turned in the direction of the room and started down the hallway. You followed and watched as he pushed the door open and flicked the light on, revealing one of the crystal whiskey glasses, in pieces, on the floor in front of the liquor cabinet that sat below a window. Josh bent down to pick up the chunks of glass, examining them. “It must’ve just been sitting too close to the edge.” He gave a shrug, tossing the pieces into the small trash can by the chair. “There’s nobody here, Y/N. And no ghosts either…” He ushered you out of the room and walked you back to your own bedroom, speaking into the phone. “Yeah, man. There’s nobody here, the doors are locked.”

You looked up at Josh, “I don’t wanna stay here… Not by myself.”

He rubbed his hand over his face, listening to his brother talk on the other end. “Yeah… I can… Okay… See you tomorrow.” You stared at him as he hung up the phone, a questioning look on your face. “Jake wants me to take you back to my place. He’s gonna catch the first flight back in the morning. You nodded in compliance, happy to get out of your creepy home. When you got back to Josh’s, he’d made you a bed on the couch and you fell asleep almost instantly and Jake was there by the time you woke up in the morning.”

“But I slept on the couch by myself, Josh was in his bed all night…” You looked up at Jake then, “You were there in the morning, you know-.”

He held his hand to stop you, “I know, love.” He kissed the top of your head before divulging the story that Josh had told him. “He said he woke up to you in a fit, having some kind of nightmare? I don’t know… But he tried to wake you up and you just clung to him, whispering my name. You thought he was me. So he let you believe it and just stayed with you until you calmed down and fell back asleep. Once he knew you were out, he got up and went back to his room.”

Your face twisted in confusion, “No… It wasn’t a nightmare.” You shook your head, the pieces falling back together. “No, I remember waking up on his couch. I don’t know what woke me up, but I just remember feeling like I was being watched. I don’t know… I- I don’t remember Josh coming out of his room.” You sat up, turning to face your boyfriend. “Jake, somebody was watching me. Someone has been watching me.” You dropped your head into your hands, scratching your nails over your prickling scalp. “You said you got a message…” Recalling his statement from earlier in the conversation, you picked your head up to look at him. “What was it?”

He set his own glass down, fishing his phone out of his pocket. “It came from some text app number, I can only assume it’s the same person sending the Instagram messages.” He held the device out to you. “I wasn’t sure what it meant. But since you got that video, I guess…” He trailed off, as you took the phone.

You looked at his face before turning your attention to the screen. The green text bubble was taunting you as you scanned the message. ‘Don’t let her act innocent. She’s keeping secrets from you.’ You huffed an exasperated sigh, “Secrets? What secrets?”

“Baby…” Jake’s tone was cautious, as though he was afraid to say what he was thinking. “Do you think this is Sage?”

You sat back against the couch, pondering the idea. Why hadn’t you thought of that? “No.” You shook your head, staring at the floor, “We just met her like a month and a half ago, Jake… I wouldn’t put this past her at this point, but it just doesn’t make sense.” Picking your glass up, you downed the whole thing, letting it wash away as much of your anxiety as it could. “That video is from March. How have I not noticed somebody fucking stalking me?” Your breathing started to pick up and Jake could sense the impending panic attack.

He moved to kneel on the floor in front of you, taking your face in his hands. “Look at me.” He kept his voice soft and calm, “We’ll figure this all out, my love. I promise you.” You leaned into his touch, the feeling that you’d been craving since he left you in the front hallway this morning. “I don’t care what kind of pictures or videos or fucking texts we get… My trust in you will not falter. Not again.” You allowed him to pull your lips to his, kissing you gently. You melted into him, sliding off the couch and into his lap. He held you so carefully, like you were made of gold. When he broke away from your lips, he brushed his nose against yours, “I love you more than anything in this life and the next.” He pressed his lips to your forehead and you closed your eyes, holding onto the feeling of him. As though you may never have this again. “You wanna take a hot bath?” You nodded but didn’t make a move to get up. “Go run the water, I’m gonna refill our glasses.” You pecked his lips one last time before following his instruction.

You stood in the guest bathroom, waiting for the tub to fill up. Jake came in with the two glasses, half full, and the bottle tucked under his arm. He set the bottle and both glasses on the floor beside the bathtub. “Come here, pretty girl.” You let him take the bottom hem of your shirt and pull it over your head before sliding your shorts and panties down your legs. “Get in.” He held your hand for balance as you stepped into the steaming water. He waited for you to sit down, removing his own clothes, and climbed in behind you. You settled between his legs, laying back against his chest.

You let the hot water melt away the stress and anxiety from the day. You knew that whatever was happening wasn’t over, but right now, all you wanted was to relax and be with Jake. Your sweet, warm, beautiful boy. “Can I have my wine, please?” He gently pushed you forward so he could lean out of the tub to retrieve the glasses. “Thank you, baby.”

He wrapped his arm around your stomach to pull you back against him. “You’re welcome, love.” He kissed your hair as his hand stayed planted on your abdomen.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while until the water started to lose some of its warmth. “Jake?” You said his name so quietly, you almost thought he didn’t hear you.

“Yes, my love?” He spoke into your neck, nuzzling his nose against you.

“If you ever leave me like that again…” You paused, fighting back the tears that threatened to fill your eyes. “It’s gonna have to be for good, Jake…” You took a shuddering breath, prompting him to lift his face from your neck, his body tense. “The look you gave me. Like you were disgusted with me.” You cringed thinking back on it, “ The feeling in my chest when you walked out that door… I don’t ever want to feel that again.” Your lip trembled as the first tear slid down your cheek.

Jake shifted behind you, “Y/N, I never had any intention of leaving you…” He turned your body so you were facing him in the water. “I know I said things that I can’t take back, baby. I know that.” He cupped your face, wiping your tears away, “I needed to step away from the situation and calm down. Sure, there was a better way to handle it, but I-.” He paused, his panic evident in the way his breathing picked up. “You have to know that I would never leave you, Y/N. There is nobody else for me.” His eyes searched yours, looking for any sign that you believed him. “Baby, please tell me you know that.”

His pleading eyes softened you and you pulled him into an embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I know, Jake. I just- We’ve never had trouble communicating before, you can’t just walk out on me like that.” He pulled you onto his lap, holding you tightly as he nodded in understanding. “I just want things to go back to how they were before I met her…” You dropped your head as you whispered, a shiver coursing through your body.

“They will, my love. I’ll make sure of it.” He kissed your cheek, “Let’s get you out of here and into something warm.” You stood up and let him wrap a towel around you before leading you down the hall to your bedroom. You dried your body off and let your hair out of its bun. Jake dug through his dresser to find clothes. “Do you want shorts, or just a t-.” When he turned to face you, you were already in bed, tucked beneath the duvet. “Did you even put underwear on?”

You gave him an innocent smile as you shook your head. “Come to bed, Jakey.” He flicked the overhead light off and turned the lamp on his nightstand on. You watched as he pulled the towel from his body and climbed into bed with you. “I just wanna be close to you.” You rolled into him, resting your head on his chest and tangling your legs with his. After a few quiet moments, you felt Jake shift, his erection leaving a prominent tent in the comforter. You let out a quiet giggle and moved your leg, letting your knee nudge his cock. “We can’t just cuddle without interruption?” You raised your eyebrow as you looked at him.

He pushed your body off his, moving to lay on top of you. “Your beautiful naked body is draped over me. What do you expect, love?” You could feel him pressing into your hip and you moved your legs apart, letting him settle between them. Jake placed a warm kiss on your collarbone and you grasped his shoulders..

“Jake…” You waited for him to lift his head to meet your eyes. “Go slow, lover. Let’s just be in the moment together, please.” You pushed his hair behind his ear to get a better view of his face. “It’s been awhile since we really took our time with one another, baby.”

“Anything you want, my sweet girl.” He captured your lips in a kiss full of passion. Your hands circled his neck, fingers weaving into the hair at the nape. His right hand stayed planted on the mattress, holding his weight above you while his left traveled down your body, exploring the terrain. He pulled away from the kiss, “I don’t think there’s ever been a more perfect body than this.” You had your days of doubt and insecurity about your body, but the way Jake worshiped every inch of you, every imperfection, it made all the bad thoughts leave your mind on a one way train. “These soft, plump lips when you pout at me.” He caught your bottom lip between his fingers before giving you a quick peck. “This scar on your shoulder,” He pointed at the small, fading mark, “from when you insisted on riding that mechanical bull…” Another peck to the scar. “Don’t get me started on these…” He moved to your breasts, placing a peck to the swell of one before dragging his tongue over your nipple. You hummed as you watched him work his way down, listing off the things he adored about you. “Your skin is softest here,” The back of his fingers grazed over your tummy, right below your naval. “I could use this spot as a pillow for the rest of my days and every sleep would be fulfilling.” A kiss to your belly. “These legs…” He pulled your leg up, running his fingers down the length of it, “They could make a train stop on a dime.” A trail of kisses down your thigh until he settled between, inches from your core. He reached for your hand and you let your fingers intertwine with his. “Your hands might be my favorite. Only second to your heart.” His lips brushed your fingertips for a moment. “When I come home from a tour, or even just after a bad day, the second your hands wrap around me…” His eyes met yours, “You put them right here,” He pointed to his chest, “Right over my heart. And I can feel every ounce of stress melt away from me. Only your hands have the power to do that, Y/N.” He held your stare for a few more seconds before dropping his eyes to your center. “And this…” He paused, running his finger through your arousal. “God, she gets so wet for me.” His finger passed over your clit so lightly.

“Hmm. Only for you, baby.” Your back arched off of the bed. His hand was still locked with yours and you squeezed it just as his tongue lapped at your pussy. He stuck to your request to go slow, drawing tiny circles over your clit with the tip of his tongue. You rested your head against the pillows, relishing in the feeling. His free hand dipped low, sinking one finger into you and you let out a gasp. Jake looked up at you through his dark lashes, watching as you began to squirm. The sight before him had his dick throbbing. He wanted nothing more than to devour you until you were a dripping mess beneath him, but he also wanted to take his time, savor the moment with you. Because you were right, it had been awhile. And now he was realizing how many of the little details about you he was missing. The way you fought to keep your face relaxed, rolling your head from side to side. He curled his finger, waiting for the inevitable whimper to leave your mouth. There it was. The sound came in the form of his name, drawn out into a pitched whine. He couldn’t help himself from grinding into the mattress. You looked down at him and found his eyes already on your own. Sitting up slightly, you pulled his hand, prompting him to stop and crawl up your body. He laid his chest over yours as you pulled his lips to yours, tasting yourself on them. The kiss was soft. Instead of fighting for dominance, your tongues worked in tune with each other, flowing together in a seamless rhythm. You drew your legs apart, making space for Jake to fit between them and he backed out of the kiss, searching your face. He gave you a look, silently asking for permission and you nodded. “I want it, Jake. Please.” He reconnected your lips, using it as a distraction while he reached between your bodies to grab himself, guiding his cock to your entrance. When he began pushing into you, your mouth dropped open, taking in a deep breath. You stared at the ceiling, feeling him stretch you slowly and he took the opportunity to leave wet kisses over your jaw and down your throat. Once he finally bottomed out, you both sighed in unison. He slid out a bit before he started rolling his hips. There was no rush in the way he moved and you could feel every part of him. Every fine detail of his cock as it filled you over and over. “Oh Jake…” Your moans were quiet, made up of breathy whines and sighs.

“How does it feel, love?” His nose brushed against your cheek and you wrapped your legs around him, giving him the angle to push deeper. “Hmm. I love the way you fit around me. Can’t ever get enough of you, Y/N.” He let his forehead rest on yours, his breath fanning over your face. Your hands went to his back, holding him as though he may float away. Jake found a steady rhythm with his thrusts, each stroke grazing over the most delicious spot inside of you.

Your eyes rolled as your legs tightened around him. “So good, baby. Feels so good when you love me like this.” The tension was building in your stomach, growing with every movement he made. He could feel you clenching him. The way your pussy gripped him, luring him closer to his climax. “We’re almost there, Jakey. I can feel it.” Your nails dug into his shoulders as the threads of your orgasm started to burst. “I love you…” His eyes caught yours as you said it. Those three words uttered from your mouth was it for him. His mouth landed on yours, hungrily eating up your moans as his hips began to falter. A groan roared from deep in his chest and you could feel the vibration of it against your body. The final seam ripped and your orgasm came crashing down around you, flooding your brain and dulling all of your senses. The only thought left in your mind was Jake. You grasped at his skin, drawing him as close as you could get him, but it still wasn’t enough. It would never be close enough.

He buried his face into your neck, hips staggering as he spilled into you, filling you with his warm release. “F-fuck, baby…I fucking love you.” The words were muffled against your skin, but you heard him loud and clear. His body went limp atop of yours, forcing all of his weight onto you. Your hands caressed his back, aiding him in his descent.

When his chest had finally stopped heaving, he made a move to pull out of you, but you kept your legs around him. “Not yet, baby. Just stay for a little longer.” He halted, propping himself on his elbows to look down at you, his gaze full of adoration and the purest of love. You reached up to push the hair from his sweat drenched face and cupped his cheeks. “My beautiful boy.” He turned his head to kiss your palm and you could’ve sworn you felt your heart grow bigger. “My Jake.” You whispered just as his lips brushed yours.

You laid there for a while. Just existing together was enough for you and him both. At some point Jake had finally pulled out of you, but he didn’t move. He stayed sprawled over you, completely spent, his body blanketing yours until he started to doze. You dragged your fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp and lulling him to sleep. When you heard his soft snores echoing throughout the room, you kissed the top of his head, and allowed sleep to consume you as well.

_______________________________________________________

You awoke the next morning, still bathed in Jake’s warmth as his limbs tangled with yours. Rubbing your hands over your eyes, you unraveled yourself from your boyfriend to stretch your muscles. Your back arched as your hands reached above your head, smoothing out the tension from your night’s rest. A satisfied hum vibrated from your mouth as you turned on your side to look at Jake. He looked so serene. His face relaxed, lips parted as his breath escaped. You brought your finger to his nose, unable to resist, and traced along the bridge. Starting between his eyebrows, your fingers glided down to the very tip. His tongue shot out to lick his dry lips as his brow furrowed. Suppressing the giggle that threatened to rise from your throat, you did it again, watching him stir. “Jakey, baby…” Your tone was light and sweet, “Wake up, Jake.” You poked his cheek.

He grabbed your hand with a groan, pulling it away from his face without opening his eyes. “What do you need, love?” His raspy morning voice always sent butterflies askew in your stomach.

You sat up and tossed your leg over him, straddling his waist. “Let’s go get breakfast.” He peeled his eyes open, allowing them to adjust to the sunlight streaming through the curtains, and placed his hands on your thighs. “I wanna go to that coffee shop that we met at. The one in the city.”

A smile graced his features, “We haven’t been there in so long.” Jake let his fingers interlock with yours as he stared up at you above him, admiring how beautiful you looked in the mornings. Wild, knotted hair and bright eyes, your skin glowing in the warm sunlight. His eyes traveled down your naked body to where you sat on him, the duvet pooling at your hips, “You better get up now or we won’t be going anywhere today, my love.” He shifted beneath you and you could feel his morning erection press into your ass cheek.

Looking down at him, a smirk tugging at your lip, you scooted backwards. “Maybe we can spare a little time.” You leaned forward to adjust your position before settling back down, his cock nestled between your folds. You began rolling your hips, gliding your wetness over his length. “What do you think, lover?” Your pace quickened for a few seconds, only to slow down again.

“Oh shit.” Jake’s hand went to your hips, trying to make you move faster. “Baby, don’t torture me.” His eyes were pleading for you to let him in.

You just flashed him your smile and pulled his hands from your body, pinning them above his head. “It’s not torture, Jacob.” Your breasts were hovering in his face as you leaned over him. “Don’t touch. Just enjoy the ride, baby.” He lifted his head to press his lips to your hardened nipple and you sat back up, resuming your position on top of him. “Can you do that for me? Keep your hands to yourself and I’ll make it so easy for you.” You resumed your grinding before he could answer. Jake relaxed, letting you take care of him, trusting your words to make it easy. He kept his hands in place, grasping at the pillows as you sped up. Your clit brushed over his tip and you both shivered from the contact. He was so hard, the thick vein protruding from the bottom of his cock adding the sweetest bit of pressure.

His hips jutted, sending a shockwave through your body. It flipped a switch and you planted your hands on his chest, slipping against him at a mind blowing pace. Jake fought with himself, struggling to keep his hands off of you, “Jesus, Y/N.” He was a panting mess, his legs kicking against the mattress behind you. “Please don’t stop…” His words sounded strangled, squeezing through his tight throat. You set your sights on the approaching climax, working hard to make sure you and Jake came together. Just as that familiar burn began to spread in your tummy, you heard a voice echo through your home, calling out to Jake. Your eyes went wide as you started to slow your movements. “Don’t you fucking stop, don’t you dare.” The urgency in his tone matched with the pleading look on his face drove you mad. The same voice called his name again but you tuned it out as you sped up. Your pooling arousal allowed you to slide effortlessly over his length and the bed rocked under your bodies from the rapid movements. Throwing your head back, you placed your hands on his thighs behind you, winding your hips in a circle and Jake was done for. He shuddered beneath you, grunting out a slew of curses as ropes of cum shot out to paint his abdomen. “That’s it, baby. S-So good.” His eyes were screwed shut as he murmured the praise. If you weren’t completely overcome by your own orgasm, you would’ve heard the knocking on your bedroom door. Your legs clamped around him as convulsions ripped through you.

You dropped your hands to either side of Jake’s head, breathing heavily, when the knocks sounded again. “Are you guys fucking done in there?” Josh yelled through the door, a hint of laughter in his tone. You covered your mouth to hide a giggle and rolled off of your boyfriend. Jake grumbled as he got up, using his towel from the night before to wipe himself off, and pulled a pair of boxers on. You yanked the comforter over yourself to hide your naked body just as he pulled the door open, revealing Josh with his shit-eating grin. “I must say, I’m glad to see you’ve made up. Splendid!”

Jake rolled his eyes at his twin, “Why are you here, Josh?”

Josh feigned a look of hurt. “Well, if you’d answer your damn phone.” He lifted his hand, holding a notebook in front of Jake’s face and waved it. “I had some ideas this morning. Lyrics, possible concepts. Wanted you to take a look.” He shoved the book into his brother’s chest, prompting him to grab it.

He forced the book back at Josh, “I can’t right now. We have breakfast plans.” Jake gestured between you and him, his focus never leaving Josh.

You watched as they bickered back and forth, allowing it to go on for a couple minutes until you couldn’t take it anymore. “Okay, children…” They both turned to you in unison and you smiled, loving the moments when they were perfectly in sync. “I will go and get breakfast for all of us. You two can stay here and work out whatever this is.” You didn’t give either of them a chance to say anything, “No go away so I can get dressed.” Jake pushed the door shut in Josh’s face, but you heard him holler a ‘Thanks, mama.’ through the barrier as you rose from the bed.

“I could’ve made him leave, Y/N” He walked over to you, pouting his lip. “I wanted to go to the cafe, just the two of us.” You pulled your panties on, listening to him make his argument, and then went to the closet. He followed you, lingering in the doorway.

You put on a pair of black leggings and pulled a plain white, cropped tee from its hanger, turning to Jake. “I’ll be back in less than an hour, baby.” His hands found your waist, drawing you closer to him. You placed your hand over his chest before giving him a quick peck, “You know Josh doesn’t come to you unless he’s onto something really good.”

His eyes fell shut as he soaked your words up, nodding in understanding. “You don’t always have to be right about everything.” Jake slid his hands over your ass, giving it a playful squeeze. “Okay, but don’t take too long.” He left one more soft kiss to your lips before letting you move past him and out of the bedroom.

_____________________________________________________

You parked your car by the curb, grabbing a few quarters to throw in the meter. Jake had texted you on your drive into the city to let you know that Danny and Sam would be coming to your home as well. When you got out of the car, you sent him a response, asking for a list of everyone’s drink and food orders. After tossing the change into the parking meter, earning you 30 minutes, you walked the half block towards the coffee shop. It was crowded inside the cafe, busier than usual for 10 am on a Thursday. You stepped up to the line, reading over the text that held the order requests before switching apps to occupy your time. When the barista called you up, you read everything off the list, finishing with your own items and giving her your debit card. She took it with a smile, swiping it down the side of the card reader and handed it back to you. You pulled a $20 bill from your wallet and stuffed it into the tip jar as you moved to the other end of the counter to wait for your name to be called. Just as you unlocked your phone to text Jake, letting him know you’d be back soon, something caught your attention. You looked up into the mess of people littering the small area, your eyes landing on a curtain of brown hair, shielding a face that was turned down, staring at a phone screen. You squinted, trying to be sure it was who thought. But when she lifted her head, her eyes instantly landing on you, it wasn’t her face you were looking at. It was her shirt. Jake’s shirt. You would recognize the black, acid washed garment anywhere, it was one of a kind. Slowly your eyes traveled up to her face, a deer in headlights expression plastered there. A barista called your name then, causing you to look away from her and when you turned back, she was weaving through the sea of customers and out the door. You grabbed the cup holder and bags that held your order and rushed out the door, ready to confront her for stealing from your home, from your boyfriend. But when you hit the sidewalk, whipping your head in both directions, she was just gone.

Your palms were sweating with fury the whole drive home. When you tramped through the front door, Jake instantly knew something was off. He came up, taking the loaded cup holder from your hands, “What happened, Y/N?” He followed you into the kitchen, where his brother all stood around the island. “Are you okay?” He placed the drinks down and turned you to face him.

“I fucking saw her.” Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as your temper grew. “That snake bitch stole your shirt Jake! She fucking took it from our bedroom floor and she’s wearing it.” You didn’t need to say her name, he knew who you were referring to.

He rubbed his hand up and down your arms in a soothing manner, willing you to relax. “What do you mean, love? What shirt?” He kept his voice calm despite the sick feeling in his chest. You described the shirt to him.

“I was wearing it that night. When we-” You paused, knowing the guys were listening to your entire conversation. “When I woke up and went into the bedroom the next morning, it was gone. I dug through every piece of clothing in that room.” Taking a deep breath, you huffed the air out of your lungs, “She was in the coffee shop… Wearing it like it fucking belonged to her. She had no fucking right.” You didn’t realize you were shaking until Jake wrapped you in his arms, tucking you against him. He whispered into your hair, little things that he knew would calm you.

When Sammy opened his mouth to speak from behind you, your head snapped to look at him. “She really is obsessed with you…” You waited for him to elaborate but he was completely clueless.

Jake was the one to push, “What are you talking about, Sam?”

His little brother shrugged, “I thought the way she threw herself at you in Atlanta was a little odd, but she’s really coming into stalker territory.”

You looked from Sam to Jake, brows furrowed. Atlanta? He hadn’t been in Atlanta since March? “Jake, what is he talking about?”

He was just as puzzled as you were, trying to put pieces together. “I never met her in Atlanta, Sam. I didn’t know who she was until Odessa introduced her at the bar two months ago?”

“Yes you did.” Now Sam was the one confused, “When we were down there to work with that producer that label tried to pair us with. Odessa drove down to visit Danny and brought Sage with her.” He paused, sipping his coffee. “We were at that western themed bar and she kept trying to buy you drinks and hang on you.” You could see Jake’s gears turning, the memory settling into place. “After she was all over Y/N at the bar and then me at the cookout…I don’t know. I chalked it up to her just enjoying attention… But now…” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“The blonde? At the cowboy bar with Odessa… The blonde girl was Sage?” Jake looked at Danny for confirmation and he gave a gentle nod. “How did I not connect those dots? I can’t even remember seeing her face that night.”

Josh chimed in, “Probably because you were worried about Y/N that whole weekend.” He flicked his eyes to you, an apologetic look on his face.

You looked up at Jake, remembering that time, “I was supposed to make the trip down with Dess, but my dad got sick… I had to drive home.” A sickening feeling started to ripple through your insides. “Jake, she’s-” Your voice shook as you fought back the nausea working its way up your esophagus.

He knew what you were thinking as his brothers all stared at you, trying to draw their own conclusions. “Baby, no. You don’t think-.”

“It’s all been her.”

🤍Taglist🤍

@ohgodthefeeling-gvf @gvfpal @takenbythemadness @objectsinspvce @mybussyinchrist @wetkleenex-gvf @myleftsock @everyglowinthetwilightknows @ppoutine @sinarainbows @aintthatapity @anythingforjtk @alwaysonthemend @ohyoufancyhuh @montenegroisr @gvf23 @ageofbajabule

#jake kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #gvf #greta van fleet #jake gvf #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka #gvf fic #hands to yourself #sinsofstardust

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blueberrybladelemonade · 5 months

Text

My Heart Cries for You, Will You Answer?

Summary: With your home needing to be repaired you find yourself needing a place to stay for a few days. Your friends couldn't help you so when Peppino offered that you could stay on his couch you were nothing short of being grateful. Although when you're together neither of you know what to call that feeling in your stomach when you're with each other. Must be something you ate.

Contains: Fluff, Uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, Cleaning out of boredom, Alcohol, Slight Angst, Domestic fluff, Tipsy Noisette, Oh look you're both in debt now, Oh, this isn't the couch...and that isn't your pillow.

Your lips became a fine line as you continued this dreaded conversation. A stale odor permeated the room, forcing you to cover your nose with your shirt collar intermittently.

"Yeah." You reply into the phone, a pit forming in your stomach.

Once more your eyes flick to the ceiling where a sizable hole had formed along with a ring of moisture surrounding it. Bits of drywall littered the floor, soaked to a paste. In your peripheral a fat drop of water plinked to the floor.

It started earlier with your water randomly cutting off for just a moment as you showered. Seconds later the water had returned to it's normal pressure, though not before you heard a distinct grinding and pop. Then there was no water at all.

Which brought your current predicament; On the phone at 8pm standing in one of many haphazardly cleaned puddles, to get not only your ceiling repaired from the damage, but also the plumbing, not to mention the floor was-"

"Yes I'm still here." You say a bit too quickly, beginning to pace the border of the room. As you listen to the person drone on, deducing the estimated total you feel yourself sweat. This was before anyone even came out, what if it's even higher? Any drywall that had been soaked would need to be cut out and from the hole above you, there was going to be a lot.

Your phone almost drops from your hand as you were finally given an amount. "How much?!" You ask again in horror, legs feeling weak. Hearing the estimated price repeated you stoop to the floor. Despite feeling like you were hitting rock bottom, someone clearly had a pickaxe.

Not only were you going to have a huge bill after the repairs -you dreaded how much more overtime you'd be working. Would you need to get a second job?- but you'd have to find somewhere else to stay for a few days until the repairs were finished.

You're told briefly you'll receive another call to confirm when the water restoration crew could come in and begin. As you exchange your home details and a time to call back tomorrow you nearly slip in another puddle.

"Thank you." You mutter, regaining your balance. As the call ended you felt the urge to chuck your phone and scream. Instead you remain rooted in place, staring into the space as you attempt to calm your racing thoughts.

After what feels like hours you heave out a long deep sigh and force yourself to return to where you had set the mop and bucket.

You had to stay somewhere else for a bit, that was the first step. Despite it being necessary you still felt uncomfortable at having to possibly burden someone else with your request. The phone felt heavy in your hand as you unlocked it and scrolled through your contacts, stopping on the bright pink image.

You decided you would ask your friends first

Would she be awake right now? Probably, if you were being honest. Noisette sometimes stayed awake until 1am doing God knows what.

"Y/N?" You hear Noisette's voice say something you can't make out to someone. "Are you ok"?

You briefly explain to her about your evening before dropping the question if you could stay at their house for a couple days.

Silence filled the line before Noisette interrupted it and told you to wait. You could make out Noisette talking in a low voice to who you assumed was The Noise.

"Sorry Y/N." Noisette cut back to you, "Theo is practicing for his audition and he said we would be too distracting". You knew that was a code word for "loud and obnoxious".

"You can ask Red? I know she was sick earlier this week but I'm not sure if she's over it or not." She added.

Red was the nickname of your other friend and she was your backup option if you couldn't stay with Noisette. She was sort of eccentric and really needed to stay away from what ever caffeine she always drank but she did mean well.

"Yeah I guess I can ask her. Thank you Hazel, have a good night". You keep the disappointment from your voice and hang up. As you scroll up to your 'C' contacts and find Red's picture, you pause as you consider Noisette's words. On the other hand, getting a cold might be a small price to pay even if you'd rather not get sick at all.

You shrug and click the call button. The phone rings three, then four times and you begin to wonder if Red would pick up at all. On the fifth ring you hear a small whine a sort of rustling.

"Dude it's almost nine are you ok?" You could hear Red's voice cracking, as if struggling to speak. As you once again recount the events you sigh, popping your question as you make your way to the living room to grab the floor cleaner.

"I would say yes but I'm still getting over a cold and trust me, you do not want to get this shit. Sorry Y/N". Red replies, to which you thank her, tell her to feel better, and tell her good night.

I guess a motel it is. You grumble and set your phone onto the counter. Now left with your thoughts, you reenter the water soaked room and survey the damage. Wordlessly you grab the mop and begin to soak and wring the mess into the bucket, at least what you could to lessen any more damage.

* * * * *

You sit in the furthest corner of the pizzeria, away from everything. On occasion you'd glance over at Peppino as he worked, debating if you should order something but you weren't hungry.

If you just stayed frozen in this booth you wouldn't have to worry about your home repair problem, right? You sink further into the booth. There wasn't a motel or anywhere to stay for miles but at this point you might have to just suck it up. Or could you just stay here? How did forever soun-

"You ok-a Y/N"? The voice snaps you out of your thoughts. As you turn your head you look up you meet Peppino's concerned gaze. "You look outta it".

"Oh, yeah. I'm ok." You lie, giving him a weak smile. While you appreciated him asking you didn't want to burden him with your current dilemma.

You momentarily regret living so far away from everyone else you knew that you could ask for help.

"You don't-a sound like it." You watch as he takes a seat across from you, the corners of his lips turned down.

"My home is having a plumbing issue, I'm just trying to figure out where to stay for a few days but I'm probably gonna just stay in a hotel." You could feel yourself grimace despite attempting to remain nonchalant.

Peppino remained silent, looking down at the table before occasionally back to you. "How bad-a is it"?

"The ceiling caved in from the water." You avert your gaze to look at the wall and force a chuckle out. "Apparently the studs in the walls conveniently trap water and also prevent airflow. Pretty much anything soaked has to get ripped out. Mold and all that".

You look back over at Peppino, eyes widened slightly as you explained everything from your evening. "It's kinda bad but everything will get fixed...soon".

You weren't sure what else to say as Peppino quirked an eyebrow and looked back towards the kitchen counter at Gustavo. He was currently pulling out a fresh pizza before replacing it with one that needed to be cooked.

"You could-a stay at my house, if-a you want?" Peppino suggested, still looking across the room. You blink, shocked at his suggestion and shake your head. "No, thank you Peppino but I couldn't. I don't want to bother you with something like that". A flutter in your stomach had you shifting in your seat, maybe that was a sign you needed to eat even if you didn't feel like it.

At that Peppino's attention was back on you, his eyes fixing you with an incredulous look. "Nonsense Y/N. It'd be better than-a staying at a motel." He urged.

He wasn't wrong. Despite that, you simply stared blankly at him. You wanted to reply but the words were stuck in your throat. Instead you'd open your mouth but close it again.

"I'll-a see you after work." Peppino slid out from the booth, getting back to his feet. "Come back here around-a six. And bring your-a things with you".

* * * * *

"Here we are." Peppino unlocked the door and pushed it open, a pleasantly cool gust of air greeting you as you stepped inside. Beyond the doorway lead to the living room where a couch was against the wall. On the opposite side was a TV standing atop a small entertainment center. Aside from those, a few picture frames or shelves were dispersed on the walls.

"You can-a have the couch and you can put your things in the closet over-a there..." Your eyes followed to where Peppino gestured, off to one end of the room was a thin door.

You throw your arms around him in a hug and murmuring a soft "Thank you".

Tentatively he wrapped his arms around you, melting into your touch. Peppino couldn't recall the last time someone had actually hugged him, you were the first person in a long time.

"Oh! -Sorry!" He stepped back, realizing you had loosened your grip, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"The bathroom is-a down the hall to the right. You can put your bags in-a that closet".

Peppino gave you a small tour of his home, explaining where everything was along with a quip or two as you both talked idly. Feeling he had given you a sufficient rundown, Peppino left you to put your things away and get settled while he walked to the bathroom to get a shower then get ready for bed.

As the water began to run you cringed briefly, remembering the sound yours made before the disaster. Shaking your head dismissively you sorted through what you would need for your own shower. Pulling out a bag you opened it to confirm the contents. Nodding to yourself you set it neatly to the side, zipping the suitcase back up.

As you turned your attention back to the couch you pause and look back to your bag before deciding to pull out your pillow too.

* * * * *

You rolled over onto your right side, pulling the blanket up to your chin and curling in on yourself. As much as you could anyways. A moment passed before you turned over again, onto your left. Seconds ticked by. With a huff you moved to lay on your back frowning up at the ceiling fan.

Hours had passed and you had barely slept. You would nod off only to snap wide awake again, suddenly uncomfortable with your current position. As you squinted through the dimly lit room you could barely decipher the time. Sighing, you tossed over onto your side again, putting your head beneath the pillow.

Your eyes snap open as music began to blare, yanking you out of your half conscious state. At least you think it was music. Was that the radio? You listen to where the muffled sound was coming from, realizing that it must be Peppino's alarm.

A minute passes by. Then another. The last song had ended and a new one had begun to play, another indecipherable rock song.

What if he was late for work? Should you go in there and wake him up? You debate with yourself to let Peppino sleep in but you knew he worked today. You didn't want to see him panic and rush around because he overslept. Especially if you could prevent that.

Tiredly you get to your feet, stretching your sore back. You wouldn't have guessed Peppino was a heavy sleeper, especially with how easily startled he was. With a groan you shuffle your way towards his bedroom, slowly able to make out the lyrics the closer you got.

Don't scream about. Don't think aloud.

"Peppino?" You lightly tap on the door. No response. You purse your lips, mentally debating if you should knock louder. Instead you slowly turn the doorknob and push the door open with a creak. If his alarm wasn't waking him that wasn't going to work.

Turn your head now, baby, just spit me out.

You squint as you step through the threshold, taking in his sleeping form. He was dead asleep, somehow, face down in the pillow. You turn your attention to the nightstand where the music continued to play.

Why follow me to higher grou-

After pressing pushing the snooze button your hand drops down by your side. Your gaze falls downward only to gasp and take a tiny step back as Peppino's tired eyes met your own.

You shot him incredulous look. "But you wake up to that"? "I was awake." He mumbled, face turned but partially still buried into the pillow. "I liked that-a song". "Oh". Was all you could reply with as Peppino began to sit up in bed. He scratched the back of his neck. "Did you sleep ok"?

"I slept great!" You lied. It wasn't as if Peppino could make the couch more comfortable. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. Besides, it was just going to be couple days of sleeping there. You could handle it. You avert your gaze as you realized Peppino wasn't wearing a shirt. "Sorry, I just didn't want you to be late." You fidget with the sleeve of your shirt. "I'm going to go now." You say, awkwardly hitching your thumb towards the door.

"Have a good day!" You call from the couch as Peppino grabs his hat, making his way towards the door. He glances at you and nods. "You too. If there's any-a problems call me, ok"?

You nod, "I will. And thank you again for letting me stay here". He paused and looked over his shoulder, giving you a smile. "You're welcome Y/N".

As the door clicked shut you were left alone. You wondered what to do with yourself since it's not like you had anywhere to be today. That and you didn't particularly feel like going anywhere. It was still early in the morning, a brief glance at the clock read a quarter past six. You click your tongue and pull the pillow into your lap. There's no way you'd be able to go back to sleep right now. Maybe tonight you would be able to get a more proper rest. At least you hoped you would.

Maybe there was something interesting on. You reach for the remote and the TV flashed to life. You idly click through the channels, pausing on occasion to see what was going on. Click. Click. Oh that's some medical procedure. Click. That's the news. Click. Animals. Sure let's go with that.

For the time being your attention is glued to the channel, watching as a countdown starts and displays a number six on the screen. With a narration playing over a snapping turtle, sitting in the water luring a small fish to it with its tongue. You watch curiously as it snaps it's mouth shut, eating the fish. Interesting.

As the credits start to roll you glance towards the clock. You purse your lips, contemplating if you want to sit and watch another episode or find something else to do.

An idea forms as you notice a thin trail of dust along the table and you get to your feet

It was in the laundry room right? Or maybe you assumed it would be. You grin at seeing you assumed correctly, pulling out a small hand-held duster and set it beside you before opening the drawer beside you.

You set the cleaner and sponge on the counter and took the duster with you into the living room, beginning to run it along the furniture tops. Every so often you'd glance back at the TV. Currently there was a platypus on screen, it's hind leg displayed as a way it can inject venom.

Having finished dusting you grab the sponge and cleaners, toting them with you to the bathroom. You spray some of the cleaner into the sink, watching the white foam bubble before swiping it and the counter clean.

As you turn your attention to the mirror you gently wipe at the the smudges and feel the panel shift slightly. Curious, you feel for the corner that stuck out and nudge the panel open. The cabinet swings open and you're greeted with a large assortment of different medications. For a moment you simply stare at the bottles, some more full than others, some with faded labels versus a few with newer ones.

The door clicks shut again, feeling as if you had seen something you weren't supposed to. You gathered up the cleaning supplies and flicked the light switch off. As you put everything away you recall the panic attack Peppino had last year.

* * * * *

Lightning flashed followed closely by a clap of thunder, making you jump. You almost let out a shout before realizing the person that appeared beside you was Gustavo.

"Y/N can you stay with him real quick? I'll be right back".

Glancing back towards the kitchen door you give a tentative nod. "Uh, yeah sure". Before he could walk off you asked, "What's going on?"

A look of hesitation flashed across Gustavo's features, as if he was internally debating something.

"Sometimes he has episodes like this. Please just make sure he's ok." He replied quickly. You watch as Gustavo dashes off and around the counter, disappearing before you could press further.

White light lit up the room for a fraction of a second before another loud boom echoed throughout the pizzeria.

Slowly, you made your way through the swing door, only poking your head into the room. "Peppino?" You called out his name received no response. The only sound you could discern was your own breathing and the rain pounding against the windows and roof outside. Behind you the door squeaked and swung shut as you stepped into the back room to search for Peppino.

The worried expression on your face faded when you found him -sitting on the floor by the sink- but quickly returned when you took in his current state.

Shallow shaky breaths left his mouth as Peppino tightened his grasp on his sleeves in a desperate attempt to control his quivering. Another clap of thunder caused Peppino to yelp, pulling his legs up to his chest. His chest tightened even more, feeling a burning prickle in his eyes.

Unsure of what else to do, you stooped before him, gingerly running a hand down his arm. "It's ok Peppino, you're ok." You whisper as you continue to trail your hand soothingly up and down.

"Hey, look at me. Please”.

Peppino hesitated before lifting his gaze to you. Both his arms wrapped around you suddenly, pulling you to him. A feeling of safety washed over him as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. After a moment you felt a dampness pool there where his head was.

One hand continued rubbing his back while your other cradled his head to your neck. "M sorry." He breathed.

"Don't be, you can't control it. It's ok." You switch to circular motions and shush him gently. "You're safe. Just take deep breaths. Repeat after me." You draw in a deep breath. After a moment you feel Peppino draw in a shaky breath.

"Now breath out". His grip on you loosened slightly as he exhaled.

You weren't sure how long you remained like this. By the time you heard the door squeak open, the storm had grown quieter with the thunder rumbling further away. A dark silhouette was making slow -almost cautious- steps to you. In your peripheral you could make out Gustavo's features in the dim light.

Peppino's movements were sluggish. You watch from the counter seat as Gustavo ushered Peppino into a booth, urging him take a seat. You watch as Gustavo leans down to whisper something and motioned in your direction. Peppino remained still but you could see his mouth moving as he stared vacantly across the table. Gustavo nods and pats him on the shoulder, turning around and making his way over to you.

Instead of you however, Gustavo holds the door open to the backroom, gesturing you to follow him. As the closes behind you, you open your mouth to ask the question that had been burning in your mind. You manage to get out the first breath but Gustavo interrupted you.

"Do you know what PTSD is?" Gustavo murmured. You tilt your head curiously and give a nod. "I think so".

* * * * *

You never pressed Peppino about that day. As you looked back at the cabinet, you wondered how often Peppino had anxiety attacks or how often his PTSD was triggered. You frown as another thought crossed your mind. How often was he alone when he had to suffer through these episodes?

You snapped upright as your phone screamed at you. With a jolt you take your phone out of your pocket. "Noisette" was flashing across the screen. You swipe to answer and groan and you're immediately assaulted with questions.

"Y/N! Are you ok? You never replied back to me yesterday! Did you find somewhere to stay? You're not sleeping in an alley are you?"!

Oh. You vaguely recalled going through your phone messages last night but never replied. "Sorry Hazel, I had a lot going on and forgot to text back. No I'm staying at Peppino's".

You raised an eyebrow at the sudden silence from Noisette. "His pizzeria?" She finally asked.

"No Hazel," you sigh, "His house".

A shriek filled your ear and you yank the phone further away. At least you think it was a shriek, it might've been a cackle. You roll your eyes and bring the phone close again as Noisette composes herself.

"You're still going to be going out with us, right? You're not going to be too busy are you"?

You furrow your eyebrows, exhaling sharply as you hear her giggle to herself again. You briefly regretted telling her where you were staying. There was no doubt Noisette was going to bring this up at dinner, making it a bigger deal than it was.

"Yes, I'm still going to go out with you guys." You snap, fidgeting with a stray thread on your shirt. "I'm literally just sitting here on the couch. Alone".

"Ok Y/N! I'll pick you up from Peppino's house then!" Noisette replied cheerily, knowing she had successfully riled you up. "See you tomorrow"!

You exchanged goodbyes and hung up, setting the phone on the TV stand. "Ugh!" You let out a sound between a groan and sigh, glaring as you put the cleaning supplies away. Why is Hazel so immature? You grumble, wiping off the sweat that had formed on your neck.

A heavy click echos from the door, making you blink awake and turn your head towards the sound as it's pushed open. You must've fallen asleep, you muse, rubbing your eyes, giving Peppino a lazy wave as he steps through the front door.

"Welcome back." You stretch, wincing as a jolt of pain went up your neck.

"Ciao. How-a was your day Y/N"?

"It was ok," you shrug " I just sat here..." You trailed off watching as Peppino peeled his tank top off and over his head. "Scusi?" It was in that moment it occurred to you that you had stopped talking and were staring at Peppino without realizing it.

Well now you realized it, mainly because he was looking back at you with a raised eyebrow. Your eyes darted away, finding interest at the wall shelf. "I just dusted and wiped off a couple counters earlier".

"You...cleaned?" He quirked an eyebrow. "You didn't have to..."

You offer a small smile, peering at him from the corner of your vision. "I thought it was the least I could do since I'm staying here for now. Then I just watched TV for a bit." You toss your head towards the screen and look back up at Peppino, "How was work"?

"Just-a the usual. Noise didn't show up today, so there's a that." He replied with a shrug, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch. You hear him let out a soft sigh as he unwinds from the day.

A sudden pang of hunger digs at you, making you finally realize you hadn't eaten all day.

"Do you want take-out? I know a good place around here?" You ask, already having your phone in hand looking up the restaurant's phone number. Peppino tilted his head, peering at you curiously.

"Don't worry, I'll pay." you add on before he could protest. "Can you write down your address though"?

"It's on-a the fridge, actually." He replied meekly, watching you walk to the kitchen out of sight. You duck your head back into the room, "Is there anything specific you want"?

Despite shaking his head you could hear him mumble out "Lo Mein" before being greeted by a voice on the phone.

"Hi, I'd like to place an order. For delivery." Peppino watched as you returned with a strip of paper and walked passed him, towards the bathroom. "Can I get a large order of Lo Mein, Pepper Steak, an order of Rangoons..." Your voice trailed off and became unintelligible as the bathroom door closed.

"Grazie..." Peppino mumbled.

Empty cartons had been set on the coffee table, long forgotten, as Peppino remained on the couch with you. Finding nothing of interest on the TV it turned into background noise as you both talked idly. The glow of the television screen was the only thing illuminating the otherwise dark living room. Outside, a thin long trail of moonlight cut between the drawn curtains from the window.

"Do you get lonely?" You ask, sinking low into the cushion as you scold yourself for asking something like that. Your knee was brushing against his now and had been for some time. Peppino hadn't seemed to notice and you had been too comfortable to be bothered by it.

Peppino shrugged. "Sometimes. Gus comes by every-a now and-a again".Minutes passed and you worried if you had made him uncomfortable with the question before an exhale caught your attention. "I don't-a really talk to many-a people." He turns his head to face you and you meet his gaze. "I'm not-a that great to be around. I have a lot of problems. One you know-a about".

"That's ok. I mean-" you shake your head at your choice of words. "I mean that I don't mind being there for you, when it happens".

Peppino stares at you blankly. "I like being around you." You continue, grateful that the dark of the room hid the fact your face was starting to heat up at realizing what you had just said.

Your mouth had parted again to say something to back-pedal but stopped as Peppino suddenly rose to his feet. "Anyways, I'ma go to bed, it's getting-a late." He swipes the empty containers from the table, carrying them to the trash. "Goodnight Y/N".

You remain silent, puzzled as you watch Peppino disappear towards his room.

* * * * *

You peer out looking out from beyond the bathroom. From the window you could partially see that the sky had begun to be painted in shades of pink and oranges.

Your hand came down to smooth out the creases of your shirt, inspecting your outfit a final time in the mirror. For tonight you had opted for a button up shirt and a simple pair of dress pants. You feel your phone vibrate, looking over the text that had flashed across the screen. With a nod to yourself, you flicked off the light switch and made your way out of the bathroom.

"Alright, Noisette is here, I'll be back later!" You call out on your way to the front door, giving Peppino a wave as your free hand reaches for the doorknob. Peppino glanced up in your direction, his eyes widening before he fumbled with the remote in his hand, giving a tiny yelp and catching it before it clattered to the floor. You pause and arch an eyebrow, "Are you ok"?

“Ye-yeah! These are slippery!” he held the remote in the air with a chuckle, his face reddening from what you assumed was embarrassment.

Peppino watched you pull the front door open blinking as if remembering you were still there. "Have a good time Y/N!" He calls back to you and you smile in reply, "Thank you".

As the door clicks shut Peppino collapsed back down onto the couch with a deep sigh, sinking low. Silence followed, feeling strangely sudden and almost deafening. Peppino hadn't realized how silent his home was. How empty it felt.

As he stared absently at the wall he let his mind wander. You had only been here two days but your idle chatter and laughter made his home feel less empty.

Do you get lonely?

His eyes flicked over towards the clock on the wall. He couldn't help but wonder who you would talk to tonight. Were you just hanging out with Noisette and Red? Or were you meeting others, too? Did you have someone you were interested in? The thought took him by surprise and he felt a flutter in his chest. Peppino

knew a decent bit about you throughout the year and he couldn't recall any time where you mentioned liking anyone, let alone dating them.

If you were seeing anyone you would be staying at their house, not his, Peppino reasoned to himself, somewhat proudly. There was that feeling in his chest again.

As quickly as the thought crossed his mind Peppino suppressed it. Even if you were interested in someone it wouldn't be him, of all people. He found himself thinking, corners of his lips turned down. He had a laundry list of issues that, when all added together, was essentially a giant sign saying "Stay away".

You seen Peppino that day, for one. When that bad thunderstorm rolled in that evening. You had stopped by for a pizza but as the downpour grew heavier you decided to wait it out, staying in the pizzeria. For the most part you sat at the counter carrying on a conversation between him and Gustavo as they cleaned for the night.

Then a particularly loud explosion of noise filled his ears. Beyond that, Peppino hadn't recalled much afterwards. What he did remember is your voice, your touch, and how you let him pull you into a hug and he cried into your neck. Peppino wished you hadn't seen him during that episode, seeing a part of the broken mess that he was.

On the other hand, you didn't shy away from talking with him after the fact. Peppino knew it wasn't out of pity, you were genuinely a good friend.

With a sigh Peppino decided to grab a glass from the cabinet. Friends. That was all you both were, right? There was no reason you would you bother with someone like him as anything more. Despite thinking this, Peppino still was fond of the days you would visit him at the pizzeria.

While he worked you'd sit at the counter, even after you had finished your food. He enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you. The feeling was at least mutual, as far as he could tell. You'd always take the time to stay at the counter and chat with him even if you didn't order anything.

Did he leave the stove on? Peppino wiped the sweat on palms on his pant leg, glancing at the appliance. No it was off, he confirmed, pouring water into the cup.

* * * * *

Peppino shook his head at the nearby booth, watching as you and your friends joked and talked. He pulled the garlic knots from the oven, setting them onto the counter before pouring a mixture of melted butter and herbs onto the warm bread. Gustavo shuffled them onto a larger plate beside the cheese sticks before hoisting it upwards and towards your table.

"Red?" Noisette chuckles, poking Red in the ribs, earning a hiss from her. "How do you say your name again"?

Red's ears twitched backwards and she rolled her eyes. "For the last time, it's pronounced 'Kay-dr- "

"Oh look!" Noisette smiled, cutting off Red mid word, as Gustavo set down a platter of mozzarella sticks and garlic knots. "Thanks Gustavo"! Red glared at Noisette, letting out an exasperated sigh. She shoved a cheese stick into her mouth. "Thanbs Gus." Red grumbled between bites.

Your friends chatter faded into the background, Peppino watched you scoot out of the booth and make your way to the counter. He looked away, busying himself with sliding another pizza into the oven.

"Mind if I sit here instead?" You ask. Peppino glances over his shoulder with a smile, "Not at all. What's-a wrong? Are they-a too loud for you"?

"Eh kinda. Noisette's annoying Red, nothing new." You shrug, taking a seat. "Anything

Peppino looked over your shoulder to your friends who had taken an interest in you two. He watched as Red leant towards Noisette, never tearing her gaze away from your direction. She uttered something with a smirk and Noisette mirrored it seconds later.

"Well..." he trailed off, grabbing a ball of dough and working it into a thin circle. "I'ma going to the next-a town over this weekend".

"Oh? What are you doing there"? Your eyes lit up.

He tilts his head towards you hesitantly. "Do you want-a come"?

* * * * *

Without much thought he pulled out his phone and went to his photos. There was a picture of you both, behind you two looked to be a large pasture with the sky hinting it was close to sunset.

He thought back fondly on that weekend road trip. You both sat in the car talking and laughing, occasionally performing a very tone deaf duet as familiar songs played on the radio. Even if neither of you could sing too well it was still fun.

You had made shopping for just groceries or otherwise mundane items enjoyable.

As Peppino made his way to the bathroom a small smile formed. You would visit his restaurant alone and often. On occasion you'd visit and share something you cooked the night before with him and Gustavo. There were dozens of times you'd sit at the counter keeping him company and being a small light in his otherwise monotonous day.

Occasionally his thoughts would drift to you and he'd imagine how nice it might be, to be your boyfriend. He blinked as that thought came up again. Admittedly since you had been staying here those passing thoughts came up more frequently.

Peppino had considered telling you how he had felt on numerous occasions, only to come up with why one day or another wasn't a good time. As Peppino caught his reflection in the mirror, reality came back down onto him, pulling him from his daydream. He suddenly became aware of how snug his clothes fit around his mid section as he shifted to reach at the medicine cabinet. Peppino's hand fell back to his side as he took in the reflection that stared back at him.

Nothing about him said "boyfriend material". Those days had passed him long ago. Peppino had hair, once. He took that for granted and now was stuck with a very thin comb over. That came with age but he hated how his medication also had hair loss as a symptom. Not to mention his weight. As the cabinet swung open his eyes scanned for a particular bottle, glowering slightly as he continued to nitpick himself.

Middle aged, fat, balding, Peppino mused, as if going through a checklist of rehearsed flaws. With a shake to the bottle a small pill fell into his hand and he popped it into his mouth, taking it with a swig of water.

That was just the surface. What you obviously seen for yourself. He wondered what your 'type' was before dismissing it, it wasn't him. You dealt with his anxiety attacks and PTSD episodes on occasion but you were free to avoid him after at any point. You wouldn't want to deal with his PTSD, anxiety, and his night terrors.

* * * * *

A thoughtful hum escaped your lips, the chemical sting of nail polish and cleaner subtly stinging your nose.

You glance away from the TV as keys jingled, seeing Peppino dressed you perked up. "Going somewhere?"

"I'm just-a going to the store to get-a few things." He hitches a thumb towards the door.

"Can you pick something up for me? I'll give you the money".

"Why don't you come with-a me? You need to leave the house".

"Huh"?

"It's not-a good to stay inside like this. Come with-a me." Peppino urged, taking his hand off the doorknob.

"But you're about to leave, I don't want you to wait on me".

"I can wait for you to get-a dressed. Come on mia cara".

You stop and turn back at Peppino, watching him stiffen. "What'd you say"?

"T-that I'd wait-a for you to get dressed?" He repeated, shifting his weight to the other foot.

"I heard that, no I mean the last part you said"?

"Oh! Sorry-a Y/N! It means 'friend'" he replied quickly. You give him a dubious squint as a pale shade of pink dusted his cheeks. It must be the lighting you reassure yourself. "Oh ok!" Your brightened, "I'll be ready in a few minutes mia cara"!

"It would-a be mio caro in your-a case, actually..." He trailed off, watching you root through your bag for a set of clothes, mentally berating himself for saying anything.

You made a mental note to look up a few Italian phrases and nicknames later. Maybe Peppino would find the gesture thoughtful.

Your thoughts were cut short by Noisette as she drew back with an excited squeal. "Oh let's do silver for each other nail, Y/N"! Your mouth had barely parted before Noisette disappeared into another part of the house. Very faintly you heard bottles and glass clinked together as she rummaged through her cabinets.

"Can you both shut up!" Noise yells from down the hall. "I'm rehearsing in here"! Before you could retort there was an equally loud shout once more from the opposite end of the house.

"No, you shut up! We're leaving soon anyways!" Noisette huffs. Her smile returning brightly as she takes a seat in front of you.

Noisette continued her shouting match with Theo while your mind idly went back to replaying this morning.

"How many do you need?" You asked in mock exasperation, setting what you deem an inordinate amount of tomatoes into the cart.

Peppino smirked, crossing something off his list. "It's not really-a that many when you cook them".

A jar he hadn't placed in the cart caught his attention. You watch as Peppino picked it out of the cart, the corners of his lips pulled down as he held up the glass container towards you, "Why-a do you need-a this?"

"For uh...pasta?" You reply.

"Mio dios Y/N, no." You're about to protest but Peppino cuts you off, "I'm-a making REAL sauce. Don't-a eat this".

As he puts it back on the shelf Peppino turns his attention back to the opposite wall. You purse your lips, watching as he grabs a can, turning it over to inspect the label. Slowly your hand makes it way back to where the jar was.

"Don't-a you dare." Peppino mutters, shooting you a sideways glare. You hold your arms up in defeat, giving him a nervous chuckle.

"Oh these look great Hazel!" You exclaim, smiling down at your newly polished nails then back to her. You wonder if Peppino would notice them. Blinking, you stare down at your hands quizzically. You doubt it, why would he look at your hands?

A cough interrupts you both, when you turn towards the sounds you see The Noise standing in the hall doorway, arms crossed and shoulder propped against the frame. He was dressed in a simple button up and shorts. Dark circles were under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping well.

"Ready to go"? He gaze meets yours although you knew he was talking to Noisette. "Stay outta trouble, I'll pick you guys up at nine".

* * * * *

A cool burst of air greeted you as you entered the restaurant. As you approached the hostess you replied "two". She squinted at her list for a moment before calling over a man to seat you both. He led us through the restaurant and to a large booth in one of the back corners, leaving menus on the table before flashing us a warm smile and saying he’d be back to take our orders in a minute."What are we gonna drink Y/N"?

"Nah, I'm not in the mood to drink." Before you could ignore her protests a particularly colorful drink caught your eye. Watching as it was carried passed your booth and Noisette's eyes fixated on it as well. You smirk at each other, having the same thought. "

Actually, I'll have one drink".

Your waiter came back after giving you both a little time to peruse the menus and he gathered your orders before hurrying off again. "So how gross is his house?" Noisette asked, looking at you expectantly.

You shake your head "Its not? He cleans and its relatively tidy". Noisette drew her head back, "Really? I'm surprised considering...well look at him".

You cross your arms and lean back into your seat. "And what's that supposed to mean"? You glare at her hand as it waves you off dismissively and Noisette offers you a smile, a slight gleam to it. "I was just joking Y/N, but it's cute how you defend him".

Crap. You walked into that one.

As your drinks arrived you squint across the restaurant towards entrance. You give a thoughtful hum, "Where's Red?" was all you mumbled before taking another pull from your drink.

"She texted me saying something came up and had to back out." Noisette shrugged. You quirk an eyebrow. Of course she did, how typical. The snarky reply you had ready was interrupted with an yawn.

Maybe staying home would've been better you think. Wait, you didn't even have a home at the moment. You were staying at Peppino's.

You find yourself wondering what he was doing right now. You shake your head, he was probably getting a shower right now before going to bed.

She leans closer across the table.

"So what have you been doing at his house?" She asks, eyebrows waggling suggestively. You flick her forehead as she leans across the table, earning a yelp from her as she recoils. You scoff at her reaction, as if this doesn't happen nearly everytime you drink together.

"Well, not much. Stressing out over my house and just watching TV." You pause thoughtfully and then grin, "We went grocery shopping earlier today and we're cooking together tomorrow though".

"Oh how romantic! When are you guys finally going to start dating"?

Your eyes snap towards her. "Excuse me? What, because we went grocery shopping"? Noisette rolls her eyes in response. "He wouldn't let just anyone room with him, for one. Think Y/N, think. Haven't you ever seen the way he looks at you"? You rack your brain but come up blank. Was this a trick question? Any time you showed up at his pizzeria you never noticed anything particular about Peppino.

You'd watch him busy himself with making pizzas or garlic knots mostly. For what it was worth, he didn't ignore you though. You both would talk and laugh whenever you'd opt to sit at the counter.

Though you couldn't recall any particular way he looked at you that stood out. There were the occasional get togethers you and your friends would have. Peppino showed up to most of them and when he did you'd both wind up near each other.

"How does...he look at me?" Your hands were fidgeting with each other and you had no idea when that had started. She grins widely, "Like he's helplessly falling in love with you". You choked and nearly spilled your drink. Wheezing for breath as your face flared red, Noisette bent forward, eyeing you with a wide, cheshire grin. Her voice dropped to a low sweet voice, "And I think you feel the same".

Swallowing hard, you fiddled with the straw in your cocktail, “In love?" You sputtered, "Who said anything about- Hazel, shut up. That -that's completely ridiculous".

With a start, you realized you had downed the last of your beverage. Fine, one more drink. You suddenly needed another one, futilely hoping the alcohol would burn out the memory of what Noisette just said. One more drink. Two would be your limit.

Noisette considered you momentarily before a knowing smirk spread across her face. She simply shrugged at you, looking over your shoulder as your server brought your appetizer. "Your entrées will be out in just moment".

You cleared your throat, catching your server's attention before he left. "I'll have an Iceberg in radioactive water." You blurt out.

Noisette wrinkles her nose at you, grabbing the drink menu. "What even is that?" You give a non-committal shrug. It was the first drink your eyes fell onto. "I'll have one too!" She chimes in, to which your server jolts something down and disappears through the group of tables. You cast Noisette a sideways glance, "Don't even start." You warn with a chill.

Unfortunately Noisette took your warning as more of a suggestion, one she gladly ignored. As Noisette drank, she proceeded to grow increasingly obnoxious. You popped the fork into your mouth, biting down on the potato with more force than necessary. You were currently contemplating if you could get away with murder. How many people might witness me wring her neck?

"So you're telling me if you both got a hotel you wouldn't feel anything"?

How many people are in here? You look over Noisette's shoulder, scanning across the room. "We're basically doing that now Hazel." You reply, craning your head to continue counting. "It's just, instead of a bed, I'm sleeping on the couch. What am I supposed to feel exactly? Back pain"? Maybe twenty eight?

"People don't invest their time and attention into someone they're not interested in. He took you into his home." She continued, eyelids drooping. "And stop playing dumb, you're bad at it".

You drop your voice low and serious, eyes narrowing at her, "Hazel, he's just being nice. He's a good friend. That's it." You ground out the last part, shoving another bite of food into your mouth.

But did you want to be more?

Noisette tilted her head at you, suddenly going quiet, looking you over.

"What?" You growl.

"Your face is so red right now".

Your nostrils flared and your lips became a fine line. "I wonder why?" You replied sarcastically, "It can't possibly be because you've not shut up over me liking Peppino for half an hour"! You slap a hand over your mouth with wide eyes. Shut up. Shut up right now. No more drinking.

You were cutting yourself off after this. No more drinks. Noisette blinked and pursed her lips, watching you duck your head low.

If you had bothered to look up you would've seen her face plastered with a massive shit eating grin and then you might've actually killed her with your spoon.

Noisette was currently laying across your lap giggling up at you. "I mean with all the dough he messes with I bet he gives great back massages! And with how tense you are...! It's a perfect match"! She poked your cheek to punctuate her sentence, your jaw remaining tensed.

Sighing, you tried to banish the thought Noisette just put into your head, opting instead to watch buildings and trees blur past the window from the backseat of Noise's car. Actually no, that was a bad idea. You look away before your bout of nausea worsened. The alcohol had finally kicked in as you were nearly done eating and you wanted nothing more but to lay down.

"Babe, Y/N's uncomfortable, not tense." Noise interjects, shooting you an apologetic look from the rear view mirror. "Stop trying to play matchmaker".

"Oh come on Theo! Last night you literally said 'If those two don't get together after this I'm burning down Y/Ns house!' When I told you Y/N was staying with Peppino"!

Your eyes widen before transforming into a glare. Why my house?" You snap, ignoring that this was probably an exaggeration. Probably.

"Er...so you stay at his house longer?" Noise ducks his head and averts his gaze, suddenly and intently focused on the road.

"Oh yeah! Y/N admitted she liked him!" Noisette babbled, yelping as you jabbed her in the ribs. You let out a long drawn out sigh, relieved to see a familiar house come into view.

As the car stops in the driveway you hastily unbuckle your seat belt, moving Noisette off your legs. “Good luck with that.” you told The Noise under your breath, glancing down at his girlfriend. With a low snort you hastily pushed open the car door and got out.

"Have a good night Y/N." He replied stiffly. "Bye Y/N!" Noisette shouts from the open window. "I hope you get lucky! Stay hydrated"!

Feeling the night air cool your warming face you reply with a raised arm, flipping her off as continuing your walk towards the front door. "I know I'm number one!" Noisette cackles. "Babe stay in your seat!" Noise whines, tugging at her sleeve, coaxing her to sit down. "Theo, Y/N needs that advice"!

His eyelids droop at her. "I don't think Y/N does. Anyways, here's some advice; buckle yourself in so we can go home before I install the goddamn child lock again".

Your eyes fixate on the lock and key as you concentrate, hearing the car drive off.

You weren't incredibly drunk, you still were able to focus on everything around you -in your opinion. But you felt much more bubbly -unless Hazel continued to bother you- and like your movements were still relatively fluid.

You yelp as your foot collides with the end table. Before you could tumble to the floor you braced the nearby wall and straightened yourself. A short giggle escaped your lips at how ridiculous faceplanting into the rug would have been. As quick as your smile appeared it faded as you recalled Noisette's endless teasing. Maybe if you were lucky she'd forget what you said earlier.

You step into the bathroom and are met with humid air and the exhaust fan above running.

The mirror had condensation on it still. You wiped the moisture from it with your hand and brought your face close to the reflection. A lopsided grin tugged at your lips as you swayed your head side to side, stopping with a cringe as a dull throb shot through your skull.

Shoot. You needed to go get your night clothes too.

Peppino heard you across the house as you opened the bathroom door, footsteps growing fainter. After a moment he heard the door squeak open and shut again.

As he strained to listen, eventually he heard the shower turn on. A sharp knock made him jolt, for a brief moment he wondered if you fell. He contemplated what to do if you did fall in there but felt relieved as minutes ticked by and he hadn't heard any sounds of distress.

Hopefully you had fun tonight, Peppino found himself thinking, moving to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. He was sure you'd tell him about it in the morning.

Peppino jumped as his door burst open and you stumbled into his room, leaning over the edge of his bed. "Merda! What-a are you doing?" He asked horrified, your eyes were slightly glazed but still held a look of awareness to them. You looked as if you were teetering on the line of consciousness and about to fall into a hard sleep. "I miss my bed." you whine, "Sleeping on the couch hurts my back". Peppino sat up with a start as you abruptly faceplant and sink into the sheets beside him.

Despite not smelling the alcohol -you must've brushed your teeth- he could tell you were inebriated at this point. That explained a lot, actually.

"Fine. You can-a sleep here. Just tonight". You grab Peppino's wrist as he moves to sit up and get out of the bed. "Stay." You mumble.

"W-what?"

" 's not comfy on...couch".

"I'll-a be fine Y/N." he replied more sternly attempting to pry your fingers off his wrist. In response your hand found grip on his arm and weakly tugged him. "Y/N." Peppino turned, looking down at you. "Let-a go. There's not-a enough space for both of us." He tried to dissuade you, only to be met with another whine.

"Yes there is". You pull him towards you, causing him to stagger onto the bed as you scooted to the opposite side. You shoot him a smug smile as you proved him wrong.

Peppino shook his head and grumbled and was about to protest, only to be met with your closed eyes and a soft smile. Your grip had loosened and Peppino debated darting from the room. As he attempted to move away once more you let out a huff, weakly pulling his arm towards you again.

"Stay." You mumbled almost incoherently.

With a defeated sigh Peppino grabbed a pillow from beneath him, setting it between you both. The pillow bumped your face but there was no indication you even realized it did, instead continuing to cling to his arm.

Peppino stared up into the darkness. He could feel your breath with each exhale now that you turned over onto your side. Whenever you fell into a deeper sleep he would slide out of the bed. There wasn't a doubt in his mind if you woke up in the morning, in bed with him, you were going to be horrified. Or disgusted.

He scooted an inch towards the side, his hand coming into contact with the edge of the bed. As luck would have it, you inched your way to his side, the pillow separating you both overturned.

With your other arm, it found it's way across his body. Peppino clenched his jaw and tensed for several seconds as you tugged yourself closer, using his shoulder as a head rest.

Peppino released his grip from the mattress, only to fidget with the fabric instead. He felt weak, his chest was beginning to burn and constrict. With you this close he could smell the soap you used to wash with, it was sweet, like some sort of fruit.

This wasn't the time to think about what you smelled like!

He had to stay awake so he could get out of the damned bed. This wasn't right. You had come in here in a drunken stupor and wanted to sleep in a bed to be more comfortable. Peppino couldn't fault you for that, sleeping on his couch was uncomfortable.

But why did you decide to come in here in the first place? Why did-

Your breath tickled the side of his face and Peppino mused how might it actually might be nice to- Wait, no. He dismissed the wayward thought that crept into his mind.

The air felt heavy and the long stretch of silence was deafening. Your close proximity had his heart racing to the point he could hear it in his own ears. Was it loud enough that you could hear it too?

"Mm. Stay." You mumble, your breath so close to his ear made him shudder.

You nudge your face deeper into the pillow, drawing in a deep breath. You hadn't slept this well in days, right now you finally felt so warm and comfortable. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you began to be pulled back into sleep.

As you turn more onto your side you feel the arm at your back pull you closer. Vaguely recalling last night and how nice it was nice of Peppino to let you sleep in his bed. Your consciousness wavered in and out as the familiar and pleasant scent soothed you.

Wait.

As you began to drift back into consciousness, piece by piece, it came to your attention that there was something off about the pillow your cheek was resting against.

Your eyes snap open and are met with Peppino's face inches from your own, peacefully snoring. An icy heat washed over you as you realized you fell asleep on him. As you put the rest of the pieces from last night together you forget how to breathe. You remember for some reason you insisted he stay here and didn't want him to sleep on the couch.

And now you had woken up pressed against his body with his arm slung around you. You jerk away, nearly falling out of the bed. Just as abruptly Peppino snaps awake and upright with a jolt. You flinch as he rushes out of the bed with a yell, "Che cazzo! I told-a you this was a bad idea!" A look of horror flashed across his face before turning deranged. "We didn't do anything Y/N I swear! This was-a bad idea! I fell asleep! Ho fatto una cazzata".

You force the urge to panic down as Peppino rambled, unable to understand what he was now saying. Nothing happened, you knew that. Regardless this was your fault. You clung to his arm and wouldn't let him go despite his protests.

You let out a small sigh and clear your throat, catching his attention. "I know. I know. I was buzzed but I still remember everything. I was just...surprised".

Peppino remained rooted in place in the corner of the room, watching intently as you get out of bed. His chest seized and he swallowed hard, taking a tiny step back into the corner.

You smile awkwardly over to him. "Well with that out of the way..." You say as calmly as you could, you shift your weight to the other foot, turning your head from him to hide your face as you feel it grow increasingly hotter, " 'M gonna go get breakfast."

As you left his room Peppino covered his face with his hands. He let out an exasperated sigh, splaying his fingers to confirm you had left the room. "Scoparsi".

Why were you so calm? Why weren't you angry? Peppino's thoughts raced but instead he ran his hands through the hair on either side of his head before shuffling out of his room.

Breakfast was uncomfortable and silent. After today you could go back home. But you almost felt upset at the thought. There were some downsides to staying here -namely sleeping on the couch- but it was nice. You enjoyed Peppino's company, even if he was now avoiding even eye contact with you.

You hope the feeling is mutual and you didn't just ruin your friendship because of your stupid stunt last night.

"When are the repairs done"? Peppino asked suddenly, still not looking up at you. Instead he was finding a particular interest at the egg on his plate, poking at it with his fork.

With nothing else to talk about you check you phone, not seeing any missed calls or texts.

Oh...as if today couldn't start off worse. You flip through your phone and stare at a text from a number you didn't recognize. You never called to confirm your appointment. Heh. You look to Peppino nervously. It must've slipped you mind.

Peppino quirks an eyebrow and finally meets your gaze as he waits for your reply.

"Uh...I never confirmed the appointment." Your voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes widened, mouth slightly open. "How-a do you forget that?" He snapped.

"I don't know! I never seen the notification for the text"!

"Oh Mio dios Y/N! Didn't you think to call-a if you hadn't heard anything back the next day-a?" He didn't look angry, just shocked. At least there was that? You assure yourself with this small detail.

"I had a lot going on!" You whine, "I forgot to call and confirm the next day when came to your pizzeria. Then I came here!" You called over your shoulder, Peppino's eyes followed you as you raced across the room, phone in hand as you frantically called back the company that was supposed to be repairing your home.

After this morning Peppino didn't think it best to be near you and had tried to make himself scarce. Despite this, he still asked if you had wanted to learn how to make pasta sauce but from scratch.

As you worked silently you idly felt for the spoon but your hand closed around Peppino's instead as he attempted to grab it too. Both of you froze. From your peripheral Peppino was staring straight ahead at the wall.

His hand was warm, you noticed. Slightly rough -and also clammy. Probably from washing the dishes. It felt almost natural with how his hand fit into your own.

Peppino clearing his throat brought you out of your thoughts and you drew your hand back with a small "sorry".

"Did Noisette paint-a your nails last night"?

"Yeah," you replied stiffly, "Before we went to dinner we did each other's nails".

You noticed he had stopped cutting the vegetables and seemed to be contemplating the pile. Peppino exhaled and small noise escapes his lips. You watch him pause as if about to say something, but closes his mouth again. A tiny near inaudible growl bubbled in his throat. You watch him become visibly frustrated with himself for being unable to come up with what he had wanted to say.

"What is it?" You ask, watching as his mouth clicks shut once again, becoming a thin line as he furrows his eyebrows. "Can't say." Peppino shakes his head.

"Can't say...what?" You ask. Peppino instead picked up a slice of tomato between his fingers before setting it down before repeating the gesture with another piece. Unsure if you should urge him to speak or not, you opt to remain silent. Peppino glanced your way out of the corner of his eye.

"Pino?" Your shoulders raise as you cringe at the nickname you blurted out.

Peppino bows his head and you watch as he shuts his eyes. "I know this isn't-a what you want to hear..." he trails off as he turns to face you, but didn’t quite meet you gaze. Your stomach clenched uncomfortably as Peppino slowly looked up at you and you seen how serious his expression was. You also felt anxiousness radiating from him.

"About this morning..." he let out a shaky breath.

Oh. You mentally brace yourself, knowing he was going to likely tell you that he doesn't want you in his home anymore. That this morning wa-

"I-a understand if you don't-a feel the same but you deserved to know. I-a like you Y/N." He said, the last part barely above a whisper. "I-a enjoy being around you. I want to wake up next to you. Every morning".

Now it was your turn to stare dumbly at him, trying to find words. Any words to say to that. Noisette's words from last night rang in your head. "Like he's helplessly falling in love with you".

"And you feel the same".

You're snapped out of your thoughts as he clears his throat again, watching as he shifts his weight in the stifling silence before turning back towards the counter. He rubbed the back of his neck "We should-a get Noisette to take you home." The words began to tumble out of him quicker "I'ma sure they can make an exception for a day or-a two? Then you don't-a have to see me again, how's that-a so-"

"No".

His words died on his tongue and he blinked, peering at you curiously as you stepped closer to him.

You gently cradled one of his cheeks in your hand and pressed a kiss to the other. "Nn...?" His whole body tensed, his eyes growing round and unblinking. You spotted some of that redness creeping back into his skin.

As you started to pull away and take a step back however, one of his hands shot out and snagged you around the waist. Pulling you back to him, he nuzzled his nose to yours as he murmured, “You missed".

Peppino hadn't waste any more time and before you knew it his lips were against yours without warning. Your eyes blink shut and a flare of heat shoots up your spine as his lips molded against your own. It felt as if he was almost pleading silently "Let me be yours". You both melt into the kiss, your hands reaching up to tenderly cup Peppino's face.

You let out a soft whine as he pulls away, his forehead was pressed against your own. Your eyes slowly opened to gaze into his, searching for something to say. Instead you find yourself burying your head into Peppino's shoulder.

Just as you're about to move away, Peppino pulled you back towards himself, taking hold of your of your wrists, bringing both your hands up to cup behind his neck.

He moved his arms down to instead snake around you waist, hugging you tightly against him as he bowed his head next to my ear. His breath was warm, making me shiver slightly as he whispered, "Do you want to try this-a morning again"?

You tilt your head back meeting his gaze. Peppino's eyes stared at you intensely and darkened with at best you could say was hunger but otherwise you couldn’t put a name to it. Smiling shyly up at him, you nod softly only to yelp as you feel your feet leave the floor. As he scooped you into his arms Peppino made his way towards the door to his room, taking you inside, door quietly shutting behind him.

* * * * *

Peppino's arm draped over your waist from behind, pulling you close as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply. Then he sighed and his whole body began to relax once more against you. You shift, adjusting your leg before intertwining it with his.

He felt so warm. So comforting. You could feel his heartbeat against your back, your hearts beating in sync.

You brushed a stray strand of hair that clung to your face with sweat before twisting around in Peppino's hold, laying your head against his bare chest. " 'nn more minute,” he muttered, squeezing you tighter before dipping his head to plant a kiss against your forehead. His grip was warm and soothing.

You didn't ever want to let him go, wanting to enjoy this feeling as long as you could. "If you want, you can-a stay here as long as you like." He mumbled, burying his face into the side of your neck, placing a kiss there.

"Pino..." You trail off. "I do have to go home at some point." You reply, attempting to respond further only managing to give out a small groan as he nipped at your throat.

"Will you come back?" Peppino asked softly, propping himself up on one arm, looking down at you hopefully. "You could always-a live with me".

"Would it really be okay with you if I moved in?" You ask. Peppino let out a short laugh, "Of course it-a would be mia cara. But no rush, you can-a think about it".

You fall silent, you wanted to wake up like this, in his arms, forever.

"You wouldn't have to sleep-a on the couch anymore." He whispered into your ear, "You can-a sleep with-a your sweet Pino".

You hitch your chin, eyes flicking up to meet his. There were still the repairs you needed to have done to your home and if you really were going to live here, you had a lot of details to sort out. Instead you gently bite the inside of your cheek. One step at a time. You grin at Peppino, mentally agreeing with your decision. "I'd love to".

You squeak as Peppino abruptly yanked you back into his embrace. In the next moment you were tilting your head upwards as he hovered over you. His throat emitted an impatient whimper as he gently pressed his weight down onto you.

One of Peppino's hands found yours and wove your fingers together. Even if you couldn't stay in bed forever, maybe Peppino was right. Just a few more minutes. You slowly reached your free hand up, softly tracing your fingers over his jaw before clasping at the nape of his neck, gently tugging his head down to meet his lips with your own.

🫐Whew this was definitely the longest fic I've written and I'm particularly proud of how it turned out. I hope everyone that got to this part enjoyed the read :>

🍋Did you catch the references to the t h i n g s? (The show that was playing on TV was The Most Extreme from animal planet (when the channel was still good lol) anyone remember it? x) 💜

Once again, thank y'all for the support of my little fic blog, y'all are awesome and I wish everyone a great day!

#pizza tower #peppino x reader #pizza tower x reader #peppino #peppino spaghetti #pizza tower fanfic #🫐bladezfics

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