#chronic nightmare disorder

[redd956]

Ever since I was 5, I've been plagued by horrific detailed nightmares every time I sleep.

Due to having nightmare disorder for so long and early, I'm unable to properly lucid dream and free myself from the cycle of horror

My nightmares are too strong and varied for medication

My twentieth birthday approaches; twenty years survived not properly eating, sleeping, or existing.

And that's okay. I'm content. I know shouldn't be, but why stop a good thing.

I didn't have internet access a lot growing up. When I tried to see how other people were doing with my disorder, I was devastated to find people with less severe variants of nightmare disorder were at wits end, writing their goodbyes in posts.

What is torture?

Is what I'm going through? What I've always gone through? What I've always known?

There is no recovery for me, and that never hurt me until I've found the dead who gave up at biweekly nightmares with periodic versions of the disorder.

I get no breaks.

Ever.

Yet I'm content. Maybe it's because I know I'll never recover.

[dezertvideogames]

I love the Metro video game series and have read the first book.

It probably wasn't intended, but I relate severely to Artyom. I have chronic nightmare disorder. It's made sleep more than a struggle. The book descriptions of nightmares, recurring nightmares, and many nightmares with an ongoing storyline and understanding that one isn't exactly in the real world right now has made me feel seen.

It was probably never intended, but I love Artyom.

[beanghostprincess]

Now that I've been talking about Sabo's eye... I wish I knew how to draw to show you but-- I have a very specific view when it comes to Sabo's design.

I think he shouldn't have an eye, for starters. He should have a very fucked up scar and no eye at all. He wears a glass eye sometimes but it's funny to him to just... Not wear it at all. Also, Koala finds it disgusting and creepy the way he jokes about it but Luffy loves every second of it.

Not to mention that the scar isn't only on his face but pretty much all half of his body. But already knew that.

The thing is- I really, really, really liked him with that missing tooth when he was a kid. I loved it. He was adorable. And I think that he should get into a fight and lose the same tooth so Luffy goes "Oh! You look like when we were little!" and Sabo decides to ignore the thought of getting another tooth because it makes Luffy happy and also it looks cool. So now he has a missing tooth and he looks hotter.

So, yeah, missing eye. Missing tooth. Scars all over his body. AND! He can't hear from one ear. Right ear? It's alright. Perfect hearing. The left one, though? A fucking mess. And he often uses that as an excuse to say he isn't hearing things he refuses to hear, like, idk, Koala telling him to do his work.

His leg is also a bit too messed up and sometimes he has difficulty walking. Which isn't a problem anymore when he eats the Mera Mera fruit, but it still bothers him. So the metal pipe is mostly to beat the shit out of people but also to walk. It's just that nobody knows that bit.

Also, random outfits I found on pinterest that I imagine Sabo wearing because my mind has no limits:

[somelonelywordmonger]

Me, with chronic pain, chronic illness, chronic fatigue, pda autism, ADHD, depression, anxiety, several disruptive parasomnias, and am also queer: "This is Fine™"

Me, with all of the above and watching the X-Men films in chronological order: "My mutation is strong AF!"

[spookietrex]

I don't mean to be so mean. My head just isn't a nice place to be.

[alphacrone]

"health is the most important thing" they'll say and then get mad at you for relying on medication

[dirt-grub]

Yea I didn’t rly acknowledge it continuing off that post you need to be normal about people who do drugs recreationally as well as addicts especially if you’re a self proclaimed leftist

[thyroiddiseasediaries]

The nightmares are the worst part.

I can’t explain why.

But sleep should be one of the only safe havens we have from this life.

So when that gets corrupted and you’re exhausted but afraid to sleep and be trapped in a living hell you can’t shake when you wake up?

I’m not gonna lie, it makes you want to die.

I need a break, I need rest. But instead I’m on Instagram at 4am because I’m trying to shake the feeling of being trapped in an Alice in Wonderland hellscape where everything around me serves only to torment me.

It’s completely out of my control, and I wake up in a cold sweat, afraid to close my eyes again.

But I’m in pain, and exhausted.

So I have no choice, I have to try to sleep.

Wish me luck on my next attempt.

🖤

[redd956]

Having nightmare disorder, there was no bigger twist of the knife, then discovering other people have it in intervals as well as have sporadic nightmares throughout a month.

They can be plagued by nightmares for a month or two, and then it's gone for another month, then it comes back.

I have had nightmares, vivid, violent, and eldritch beyond my compression since I was five, every single night.

You're telling me there's people out there who have nightmares a few times a week throughout a month, and then they get a break.

[pplatonic]

Unfortunately I have to turn off asks because random strangers keep sending me charity/donation solicitations which spiral my moral OCD and paranoia/delusional thinking. So if you want to talk to me just DM me instead (discord is an option too, send me your usernames in DMs if you prefer that.)

[queer-boo-radley]

Having chronic nightmares as an adult is so fucking stupid and embarrassing like hey baby wanna come spend the night and get woken up by me screaming my goddamn head off because I dreamt everyone I love abandoned me to get my throat ripped out by a monster? You can be the big spoon!

[the-silent-hashira]

having PMDD is probably the worst thing i can think of that i have because everything else will be FINE and then i spend a week wondering why reality is so wonky and why i cant sleep and im reminded afab bodies are literally just. fucking SHIT

[spearmint333]

2 DAYS IN A ROW 😭😭😭😭 it’s 5:55am and I just reflexively punched everything off my fucking nightstand as I woke up bro 😭 istg I’m so fucking sick of this shit.

Also there was a cool dreams that felt like an scp type deal, a big cave that appears on coastlines with walls full of huge randomized human teeth and gums, nobody knows how far it goes and it doesn’t seem to follow any geographical limits from the outside world. From outside u can’t even see the interior very well, and if u enter it u are stuck in another dimension of infinite teeth tunnels. From an outside perspective once someone enters the tunnel they forget that person ever existed along with the existence of the tunnel. Kinda cool lol

[mushroomwillow]

I’ve decided to drop out of school. It makes me angry that I am but I just can’t keep up. Between work and having a 4yo it’s just too much. On top of whatever is going on with my body. Still not diagnosed with anything specific. The best my dr can figure out so far is literally nightmare disorder.

I’m on an 02 sensor rn for two nights to figure out if it’s some sort of sleep apnea. I’ve already had a ton of bloodwork done and I’m on heart meds.

My pain and extremely vivid and nightmarish dreams are exhausting. My high work load is exhausting. What energy I do have I try and spend on my daughter and my fiance.

I do enjoy school, I’ve liked my classes, but I just can’t keep up and I’m angry about it.

[deliciousbelieverobject]

Something that happened when I got CRPS (and idk if other people with CRPS experience this but I do) is that I started having nightmares every single night. My fear response is so heightened now that I can't get one night of peaceful sleep. It's been years at this point and medication hasn't done much to help since I have the most vivid dreams in the morning and it's usually worn off by then. The thing that I hate the most about it is that I'm extremely irritable when I first wake up and sometimes accidentally take it out on the people around me (luckily they're extremely understanding but it's just sooo not me and I hate myself so much when it happens.) But It's like, I have several physical disabilities and I'm in constant intense pain and I neeeeeeeed to be able to sleep!! Also if anyone has any tips that helped them out with this kind of thing, I'm all ears. I'm honestly so desperate at this point. (Added physically disabled tag bc it stems from and heavily affects my physical disabilities.)

shout out to everyone with a sleep disorder or condition that affects the quality and quantity of sleep. i think it's incredibly unfair to be denied even the comfort of rest