#chores*

[karda]

day 3 of my vacation . 7 days left. i fear a sense of dread is taking over me

[goldensunset]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[seenthisepisode]

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

[miraclemaya]

MADOKA - “I’m thinking I’ll order a beef udon bowl, since Sayaka-chan told me that they make those really good here. What about you, Homura-chan?”

CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - Food needs can be met with an expenditure of 1.23% of total magic. Proceed?

GRIEF SYNDROME [Trivial: Success] - MAGICAL GIRLS THAT IGNORE FOOD ARE OFTEN MORE PRONE TO GRIEF ACCUMULATION. MY ARMS WILL ALWAYS BE WAITING FOR YOU, HOMURA, BUT IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE HAPPY UNTIL THAT DAY. BESIDES, MADOKA WANTS TO EAT WITH YOU. DISAPPOINTING HER WILL FILL YOUR SOUL GEM WITH A HALF A GRIEF SEED WORTH OF DESPAIR.

TEA WITH MAMI-SAN [Legendary: Success] - Sayaka says the beef bowl is good? Maybe go for that. She knows Madoka’s tastes better than anyone — and if Madoka likes something, you will certainly like it too.

“I will have the same as you, Madoka.”

“I’m not feeling very hungry.”

[CALL AND RESPONSE - Medium 10] Come up with an order on your own

CALL AND RESPONSE - [Medium: Failure] - You’ve eaten here before, you’re pretty sure. Was it Loop 32… no, Loop 12..? No, wait, it was on the first Friday of Loop 68. No… that’s not right. You’ve never eaten here before. In a stunning display of incompetence, you have taken Madoka on a date to a restaurant that you have never experienced before.

THE ANGEL - It’s okay, Homura-chan! I don’t mind if you haven’t eaten here before. Remember what real me said, Sayaka thinks this place is good! And even if it’s not perfect, that’s okay, just spending time with you makes me happy.

THE CRAVEN MASSES - Sayaka has raised her blade against Madoka 16 times before. You should leave this restaurant and kill her. It would only take-

FALLING SAND [Trivial: Success] - 1528 seconds on average.

CONSERVATION OF ENERGY - It can be cut down to 1243 seconds with an expenditure of 2.7% of total magic pool.

THE CRAVEN MASSES - Exactly. Do it in front of her family and make it bloody. Kyoko would likely try and stop you, but even she isn’t immune to bullets. And if Mami comes for revenge, well, you know the exact words you could say that would destroy her, don’t you?

THE ANGEL - A-Ah, I think that’s a bit of an extreme reaction, Homura-chan!

HUMAN SHELL - Your heart rate is increasing. Stop that. You have absolute control over your flesh. Act like it.

MOE INSTINCT - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT ARE WE GOING TO ORDER MADOKA IS GOING TO LAUGH AT US

WITCH’S NIGHT - Is… is this a trap? Walpurgis may be defeated, but you know that the stage witch never truly ceases its show. Perhaps this restaurant is a part of the stage?

MADOKA - “Um, are you okay, Homura-chan?”

MOE INSTINCT - OH GOD SHE HATES US

“I’m going to kill myself.”

“I’m so sorry. Would killing myself make you feel more comfortable?”

Isn’t there anything else you can say?

YOU - Isn’t there anything else you can say?

THE DEVIL - Come on, Homura. It’s high time you do it. Really, this is just another in the long, long chain of failures that make up your life. The only way to fix it is to kill yourself.

CLOCKWORK PRECISION - Target: Located on right ring finger. Target is not moving. Chance to hit: High. Plan: Retrieve pistol. Aim pistol at ring. Pull trigger.

THE ANGEL - Oh my god, please do not do that!

"I am going to kill myself."

"I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."

"I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"

There. There has to be better options than this.

YOU - There. There has to be better options than this.

MOE INSTINCT - I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE. THE ONLY RECOURSE IS IMMEDIATE SUICIDE. THAT’S THE ONLY WAY MADOKA WILL LOVE YOU AGAIN.

"I am going to kill myself."

"I'm so sorry, I'll kill myself if it makes you feel better."

"I'm so sorry. Should I kill myself?"

YOU - “I’m going to kill myself.”

MADOKA - Madoka’s face twists, her eyebrows raising slightly in shock. Whatever response she was expecting, it was clearly not this.

GRIEF SYNDROME [Challenging: Success] - IF MADOKA WAS A MAGICAL GIRL, HER SOUL GEM WOULD FILL BY A QUARTER HEARING YOU SPEAK THOSE WORDS. THAT WAS CRUEL, HOMURA.

MOE INSTINCT - WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

MADOKA - “I’m so sorry, Homura-chan. Please don’t do that. I… I really care about you and so does everyone else.” Madoka’s eyes fill with tears as she speaks. She hugs you.

DAMAGED MORALE -4

CALL AND RESPONSE [Trivial: Success] - Quick, tell her you were making an edgy joke that didn’t land. You’ve gotten away with that before, you’re pretty sure.

SPACE-TIME MASSACRE - Twelve quarter shifts left and two up from your current space-time position, and there’s a Japan that it’s actually illegal to not commit suicide in.

FALLING SAND - You’ve been seated for 5 minutes and 32.5 seconds already and still have not ordered. Mami has requested your presence at her apartment in 3.4 hours from now.

TEA WITH MAMI-SAN - She wants to help you find a hobby. She’s really worried about you, you know.

STRINGS OF FATE - You can feel Madoka’s heart beat in sync with yours as she holds you. Everything will be alright, as long as you follow the beat.

THE ANGEL - Yeah! It’s okay Homura-chan. Just explain what’s been going on and Madoka will understand. And then order something, it’s important to eat a full meal!

YOU - “Ah, sorry Madoka. I was… overwhelmed with choice, and my… brain spit out the first thing it thought. I am not planning on killing myself.”

MADOKA - “Um, I think we should probably talk about this more, Homura-chan….”

CALL AND RESPONSE - Ask her a question to change the topic. It’s worked in three different loops, it should work here.

RATIONALITY COMPLEX [Trival: Success] - Ask her if she wants to try anything else and then order that for yourself. This will accomplish your goal of deciding on what to order, as well as showing Madoka that her desires are important to you.

YOU - “Is there anything else you’d like to try, Madoka? We can share our dishes.”

MADOKA - “Uh, okay Homura-chan. Maybe get some tempura?”

Order 10000 yen worth of tempura

Order 1000 yen worth of tempura

Order 100 yen worth of tempura

YOU - “Excuse me waiter, give me 10000 yen worth of tempura.”

HUMAN SHELL - Calories and magic are just two different types of fuel. Feed me and control me.

THE ANGEL - T-that’s probably too much, Homura-chan. Maybe you can sneak some into your cool shield, though!

MADOKA - Madoka doesn’t say anything, but her eyes do bulge out slightly. She gives you a gentle pat on the shoulder and smiles at you.

HEALED MORALE +1

RATIONALITY COMPLEX - Displays of wealth like this can broadcast value to potential mates. This will increase your value in Madoka’s eyes, furthering along one of your goals.

THE ANGEL - I think you should just focus on enjoying the food, Homura-chan. Take a break, everything is okay.

Thank you.

Why don’t you hate me?

YOU - Why don’t you hate me?

THE ANGEL - Because I care about you, Homura-chan! And besides, you hate yourself far too much already.

Thank you.

THE ANGEL - You’re welcome! Now, please, enjoy your meal with real Madoka. She loves you a lot too, you know.

[lost-in-russia]

"Yeah, but I don't think he's gonna transition"

[pangur-and-grim]

this is how I walk around my house

[dapper-lil-arts]

Can we talk about the kind of woman Applejack attracts.

[teddybeartoji]

sitting on toji's lap and carding your fingers through his hair while he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. you tease him for the few gray strands you spot and his grumbles reverberate through your whole body, his arms wrapping around you a little tighter in a half-assed attempt of shutting you up. when all you do is laugh, he sinks his teeth into your sensitive skin and smirks to himself at your overly dramatic 'OWWWWWWW!'.

"keep on talking, doll. this is what you get." ignoring the way you squirm on his lap, he rests his head on your shoulder again and gives you another squeeze, silently asking you to keep playing with his hair.

"mean."

at your comment, he gives your side a gentle pinch and marvels at the sound of your laughter.

"i was only kidding, you know."

he hums, letting you know that he's listening to you.

"i really like it." you twirl a strand between your fingers, eyes set on the gray strand of hair. "i love it actually."

he mumbles something inaudibly.

"is this how you communicate now?"

you feel his lips curl into a faint smile against your neck.

a hum.

you click your tongue playfully and give his roots the weakest tug ever. "i really do love it, though. i think they make you look even sexier."

"yer ridiculous."

"stop being so fussy and take the compliment, stupid."

a grumble.

he wonders whether you know how giddy you make him feel. it's a stupid word, especially for a man his age, but it's the only one that he can think of whenever he tries to make sense of what he's feeling. he won't say it out loud, but he really does hope he can show it to you; to return the favour by loving you as ardenly as he can because that's what you deserve.

[pikslasrce]

im ngl that scene in the lighthouse when hes trying to jerk off to the idea of a hot mermaid but keeps getting distracted by unsightly visions symbolizing his guilty conscience and descent into insanity is so real like. it really is like that sometimes

[puttingwingsonwords]

Dracula scrambling around the castle pretending to be his own servants is so important in showing that aside from being a super powerful evil vampire-sorcerer he is also a huge loser

[satsuha]

finally trying my hand at a khura'inese outfit for apollo... i definitely wanted to give him the spare coat in dhurke's office but i might redesign it later

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[cuppajj]

What if the ancients also corrupted and became beasts, and it's one great cycle of futility?

some info on the beast ancients:

Saint Vanilla Cookie, after deducing that the horrors and cruelty of the world are caused by the darkness in cookies' dough, formed a messiah complex. Believing he is the only one who can save Earthbread, his extreme compassion for the happiness of cookies has made him an angel of death; though he believes he is purifying those he touches, he believes their cries of pain from their disintegrating bodies are simply a part of the healing process. He has brought his willing followers to salvation, and seeks to do the same for all of cookiekind.

Midnight Lily Cookie became the new monarch of the Faerie Kingdom after the death of Elder Faerie Cookie. When she turned to the path of darkness, her fiercely loyal subjects followed with her, sworn to protect her at all costs. While she holds no ambitions for conquest, she has vowed to assert the influence of her kingdom across Beast Yeast on her own terms, and to put an end to the false enchantress who shares her being.

Dragonberry Cookie reinstated herself as the monarch of her kingdom, keeping the royal family under her thumb and influence. Her passion for strength and combat drew her attention to the Red Dragon, whose power became her obsession. Now, she seeks to know how to become a great beast herself, and will do anything to achieve it; even keeping the Red Dragon shackled underneath the castle as it’s studied day in and day out.

Frigid Cacao Cookie learned to tame the Licorice Sea that had threatened his kingdom for eons; however, something of either his design or an external force led to the entire Cacao Kingdom freezing over. Cacao sat idly by as this happened, unmoving from his great throne with his head slouched and eyes unreadable. He has resigned himself to extreme solitude, but the swirling black ocean does his bidding in his favor.

Celestial Cheese Cookie never moved on from the truth. In fact, she chose to build everything from the ground up. How wonderful! She can bring her grand design to Earthbread itself, sharing her brilliance with all of cookiekind. Of course forging a new empire will come with resistance, but she is well prepared. For the devout, they will be graciously rewarded; the dissenters will become decorations. With the ability to summon as many arms as she needs, she can turn anything to gold with a simple touch.

With five new Beasts loose on earthbread, the fight to save it has become much, much harder…

[zorobae]

[megueggu]

pet her! for @pup_hime ✨

[verawhisk]

patience is a druidic virtue