#choose understanding

[laceyislucid]

[feralchaton]

I left an area because of this and then the entire state.

My husband had previously been married, multiple times, we're different ages and while things probably could have been handled better; I was not the "conniving whore" as was said while I stood on-line at a local grocery store.

I wasn't the thunder-thighed slut either or nasty little bitch/slut/skank...

I was never the person who was encircled, spit on, with fingers pointed in my face, as someone's 'fellow church goers' cast glares, and slurs, and barred my way from seeing my husband's son at his 4th birthday party. He carried him to me and then they dispersed. I had been waiting by our car, anyway, because I was worried about being disrespectful, and wouldn't have gone if not requested. Besides a year had passed...This was in front of children and their aged 20-50ish family. Two women spoke about it, apologized for people's behavior, and after that day spoke with me, like I was a human being, for the first time in a year.

Two.

There were over forty people in attendance at the party. I wrote a letter to the pastor of their church about the treatment. He sent a letter back that he didn't see or hear anything, sorry I'm overly sensitive, and completed it with some emptily quoted biblical slut shaming. Case closed! I was 24 at the time.

School events, sport events, birthdays. Memories of years spent supporting and smiling for children who asked me to be there while most other adults in the area spoke about me behind my back or said things to my face and/or ostracized me. Solely because one person was hurt and decided this was the best course of action.

I withstood living in this environment for half of my eleven years in that state; the other half in a different town but nearby for obvious reasons. I became reclusive, stopped going out to do regular errands until we changed towns and didn't start feeling better until there was significant distance.

It does happen. Some people seem to enjoy an excuse to go along with cruelty. We can listen and still form our own opinions. We can hear what someone is saying and not participate because we usually never have an entire story. No matter what, we can always choose to be kind.

How to spot a smear campaign:

Victims’s “crimes” will be enlarged, and even if they’re small missteps, they will be treated as if only the worst person on the planet would do such a thing

Accusations against the victim will always be a reach, aka, they did ‘this little thing’ but it actually means they’re a racist/murderer/genocide supporter/fascist/have blood on their hands, even when the person’s actions never conformed to those crimes

All and any actions of the victims will be misenterpreted in the worst possible way, anything the person does will be taken as an offense and intentions will be read as hostile and manipulative, regardless of how clear they are

All victim’s actions will be taken out of context; ie, victim said something cruel to someone, but they take out the context of the victim being abused, threatened, tortured, forced into defense mode and finally attacking out of desperation to defend themselves and get free

The victim will commonly get provoked into giving a bad reaction, (anyone gets defensive if they’re accused of the crimes they never did, or simply triggering insults until they snap), and the reaction will become the new ‘proof’ that the victim is in fact, evil and guilty

A lot of pressure will be put on you to react 'correctly’ to the smear campaign; if you don’t accept to demonize this person at once, you’re getting scrutinized, shamed for your lack of morality, told that you support all these horrid things and that you are just as despicable

You will notice a trend of people ganging together based on their demonization of the victim; they will set a standard where you’re accepted and welcome if only you also will demonize and hate this person, and if you don’t, you’re blocked, cast out, and accused of causing harm

It will feel very easy to accept to demonize this person, and going against it will feel risky, like going against the grain, doubting the word of the many and risking being demonized yourself.

The smear campaign continues all the way until the victim is chased out of the community and denied a voice, even if the victim commits no further crimes, awful things will be said about them, their past 'misdeeds’ continually brought up, until the victim is commonly believed to be worthless, and becomes completely isolated, scared of society and alone

There will be no limit to what is considered okay to do to the victim of a smear campaign; even if the victim is accused of minor bad behaviour, it will become okay to threaten, insult, shout slurs, trigger, provoke, humiliate, manipulate, and repeat any kind of abusive behaviour to the victim, all because 'they’re bad so they deserve it’.

People leading the smear campaign will switch between being 'extremely grossed out and enraged’ to showing absolute joy and satisfaction when they find a new reason to demonize and smear the victim. People truly horrified of someone’s actions do not get a leap of joy when a new disaster happens, they’re not beside themselves to abuse the perpetrator all over again.

It will never, ever be acceptable to show any mercy to the victim. Forgiveness is out of the question, trying to understand them is out of the question. Even reading or listening to what this person is saying will be banned and forbidden, unless it’s for humiliating purposes. They will be shown as absolutely irredeemable, and associating yourself with them as evil and unforgivable. You will be instructed to block or unfollow or report the person based on what you’re told, without any significant proof.

Do not fall for smear campaigns. If a large amount of people all agree that a person is the worst, but their story is exaggerated, out of context, sounds fictional, and doesn’t show any proof, and the people switch from being enraged to eager, doubt it. Participating in a smear campaign will help the abusers isolate and abuse someone, and you do not want to be a part of it. They will also smear anyone who stands up to their abuse, so you’re helping the abusers to create a place where pointing out abuse gets you cast out of the community.

[daftmooncretin]

iwtv fandom constantly arguing about who the real bad guy is when shit hits the fan like oh its lestats fault or armands or actually louis is the real villain!! IRRELEVANT. disregard. the reason everything always goes to shit in this show is because unfortunately louis and lestat do match eachothers freak and the resonant harmony of their freakiness sends pure unfiltered wavelengths of suffering to every single characters vampire brainstem and ruins their lives. in this business we call it the invisible chord.

[dumblr]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

[catmask]

i think im going to give up on naming my mascot and just call it 'the creature' or critter forever now. like, giving it a different name than my own feels completely wrong, but calling it by my own name feels wrong too, its like the bite sized version of me and my personality so its not ALL of me, but its also not NOT me. the critter

[stuckinapril]

Part of growing up for me will probably be accepting that some relationships are truly irreparable and that it’s best to just let them go and start all over again with someone new over trying to repair the old

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[lemonsharkgirlfriend]

everyone's joking about a lesbian love triangle being the focus of rhaenyra/alicent/mysaria's stories in hotd s3 but that will literally be what happens when mysaria acts to uphold and support the image of rhaenyra as queen (or rhaenyra's duty) and alicent is kept prisoner (or a hidden but unavoidable reminder of rhaenyra's love). and so the love triangle will serve to represent rhaenyra's internal conflict between love and duty

[winterrbluess]

JJK spoilers

This chapter....THIS chapter has me sobbing a bucket like Yuji, he is so precious. His growth has astonished me so much. His introspection and the ability to step in other's shoes and sympathise with them (even Sukuna) is his greatest strength. His whole fight was to bring Megumi back, to save one person atleast and now not only he grew out of his cog mentality but is leaving the choice in Megumi's hands that it's fine if he wants to give up. For the first time someone tells Megumi it's fine to give up and not wanting to fight anymore or get stronger or fulfill any space or role. Yuji giving Megumi the agency to deal with his loss and trauma, to choose for himself...grieve and just end it all. It's so tragic yet beautiful with how Yuji is always there for Megumi and vice versa. And Megumi's monologue about wanting to enjoy the domesticity of life..God it's heartbreaking how he just wanted to...exist, to live like a 16 year old, safe and surrounded by his loved ones without the burden of being strongest in future on his shoulder.

This panel is so bittersweet...with it being directly parallel to Gojo one but with such stark contrast..Yuji is there for Megumi only..not an ally, not the strongest sorcerer of future but his friend.

[conceiteddemon]

Been playing Tears of the Kingdom

[deerspherestudios]

Does Mycheal know that humans live shorter than him?

He does! Has been long aware of it, actually!

[cuntylouis]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.07 "I Could Not Prevent It"

[hiyyihrts]

“For how long have you had feelings for him?”… Lord the way they keep making Eloise this non-observant clueless friend to everyone is crazy to me… especially continuously with Pen (and now Cressida also). She never fathomed that Pen could want to participate in ton events, want to be married, want to have even the bare minimum opportunity to be entertained by a man, and yet anytime Pen goes against anything Eloise always talked about she’s so surprised?? Maybe if you talked with your friends instead of at them we wouldn’t be running into this situation continuously El…

[lainalit]

Feyre: You have every comfort and yet it is not enough?

Court of Nightmare Women: