#its not a persona in the sense im acting differently than i actually do. its a glove that fits very natuarlly

[catmask]

i think im going to give up on naming my mascot and just call it 'the creature' or critter forever now. like, giving it a different name than my own feels completely wrong, but calling it by my own name feels wrong too, its like the bite sized version of me and my personality so its not ALL of me, but its also not NOT me. the critter

[soggyriceee]

I Can't Hurt You ~ Ghost NSFW

[ mentions of gunshot wounds, anxiety, trauma and sex. plz like and lmk if there angsty type of stories interest anyone, have a good day <3 ]

It had been 6 weeks since you'd been shot. Once in the leg, once in the arm. For days you had thought you'd lose your arm and leg. All you could really remember was Simon yelling your name while blood covered his hands. Your blood. But, the base surgeons were some of the best and you were at home almost fully recovered. Your husband, Simon Riley, the man who unfortunately was leading that mission you'd suffered injury from, was always by your side. He was on e for giving you your space so having him everywhere you were at was new. But you loved it because the more you saw him and how caring he was towards literally only you, it made your heart flutter.

Ghost was a whole war criminal, why would he spend his time going to the store, getting flowers, cards, clothes gifts, all that stuff? Because he was so deeply in love with you, it was like his money and time quite literally belonged to you. He spent hours trying to learn to cook for you since you were glued to the bed.

" Tell me if it needs more salt." He demanded, towering over you as your sims started a house fire on your laptop screen. " Its good baby please stop bothering me now." You laughed, wiping some of the homemade pasta sauce from your lip. As much as he did annoy you, you couldn't ask him to really leave you alone.

He wasn't stupid, he knew that the whole happy persona you put on in front of him was fake. You were trying to act tough and brave for him. Independence was something you both had and in your eyes alone, it was embarrassing to be the first in the relationship to need help. Consistent help. Ghost was good at reassuring to you that he did not see you as weak, he actually saw you as brave, strong. " You survived two gun shot wounds at once lovie.. that makes you stronger than me." He whispered to her as you quietly sobbed in the hospital bed a few weeks back.

And this injury definitely caused some small bumps for you both. For example.. sex. It wasn't that it was different, it literally was not happening. Despite you being able to move almost all on your own, stairs were still a bit hard, he wouldn't touch you unless it was to help you. And as much as you loved how gentle and genuinely kind and caring he was for you, you needed a bit more. " Simon.." You'd whisper in his ear when it was close to your given bedtime. By Simon. "Yes my love? Do you need anything?" He asked, looking away from the news on your guys TV.

You moved to sit on his lap, struggling to raise your injured leg a bit. But you made it onto his lap successfully and with mi animal pain. But he sensed it immediately. " Lovie.." You shushed him and placed your arms around his neck. " I appreciate all the care you've been giving me.. but I need a bit more." You spoke softly, eyeing his lips. You began to move in but you could tell he began to panic, jolting his head back and hitting the bed frame. You looked up at him, your chest feeling like it just got shot this time. " I-i can't.. Im sorry." He had took you off his lap before standing and walking out the room and rubbing the back of his head.

It had been about a week since that encounter. It hurt you, and you definitely cried about it after. He ended up sleeping on the couch that night, but still coming every 30 to check on you, even when you were asleep. Neither of you really spoke about it. And you could assume thats what made the relationship more awkward now. While yes he did sleep in the bed again, and he was still taking care of you, the conversations were small and minimal. " He won't touch me Soap.. I don't know what to do. We used to have sex almost every day at least twice a day." You spoke into your phone as you looked up " How to Get My Husband To Have Sex With Me After Gunshot Wound". Almost no good articles came up. I mean, who really goes through this?

" Im sure he'll come around. I mean, he did see you literally almost die in his arms. You mean a lot to him and I think he's just terrified of hurting you more." He said through the speaker. He was on base, doing paperwork for the next mission. Another you and Ghost would be sitting out on. " Its been almost three months. Im practically healed... it just sucks because I feel like a..like a disease. He won't touch me in any way other than to help me. Even when I dont need it." You sighed.

Simon had gone to the store, grabbing you ice cream you had mentioned to yourself you wanted to get at some point and your positive other things to go along with it. Despite that awkward encounter he was still there to make you feel better. " He hasn't really said anything to me but you know how he is. Try talking to him again. I have to go, Price is calling." He said before hanging up abruptly. You sighed and looked around. You needed to get up and do.. something.

You moved your laptop to the side and began to stand. A minor pain stabbed your injured leg, causing a whimper of pain to leave your lips. As you opened the bedroom door, you heard Simon return into the house. " Lovie? Im home with that ice cream you wanted." He yelled from downstairs. You moved towards the stairs, gripping the handles and moving slowly. As your uninjured leg hit the bottom stair, your injured one again gave your a little trouble. "Shit" You squeaked, gripping the handle more. " Lovie?" He walked over swiftly to the stairs, dropping the ice cream and spoon that was in his hands. " What are you doing?! If you wanted to come down you should've waited for me to carry you down." He began to approach you but your hand hit his chest, stopping him. " I-i can do it mys-self." You grunted. Finally, your injured leg was on the same step as you. " You can't thats why your face is scrunched up in pain just let me help-" " GO AWAY! I dont need you here every two seconds simply just to help me. You won't do so much as cuddle with me let alone have sex with me. Im not made of glass im a human im your wife for crying out loud but you treat me l-like im not. leave me alone!" You screamed at him, tears welling in your eyes.

His face looked hurt, but also surprised. " L-lovie I just-" You cut him off by turning away, moving back up the stairs. He wanted to help you, but you had made it clear you wanted him to back off. You made it back up the one step and walked into the bedroom, slamming the door. You moved onto the bed, holding one out of the 10 stuffed animals Simon bought you and silently, again, cried into it. You felt bad, but at the same time you didn't. You were able to tell him finally how you felt. You heard his boots at the door, no matter how hard he tried to keep quiet. And he just stayed there. Listening to you cry but feeling too scared to say, or do anything.

The next morning you woke up and Simon wasn't there to wake you this time. You rubbed your eyes as the sun peaked into the room. " Simon..?" You asked, your voice a bit hoarse. You looked around and noticed a rectangular, long box at the end of the bed. You reached over and grabbed it.

Your right, ive been too overbearing. I'm sorry lovie..

You opened the box and inside was a cute lingerie set. It was with and pink, a little bow in the center of the bra. Your cheeks turned a bright red as you read the second note inside.

I hope you like it. I hope I see you in it soon <3

Just as you finished reading, Simon walked in the room. In his hands was a tray full of French toast, coffee and fruit. His eyes met yours, his big puppy eyes. " Oh I was.. expecting you to still be asleep." He chuckled softly, placing your breakfast on the night stand. " Im sorry for y-" For the first time in almost three months his lips touched yours. You gasped into the kiss, your heart going a 100 miles per hour. His hands snaked around your waist, pulling you up into him.

His lips yearned for yours. He slowly sat next to you, keeping your lips connected. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him just as passionately back. He broke away, sighing. " Dont apologize. You were right. And plus.." He right hand snaked up to your cheek, cupping it. " I've missed touching you like this." He whispered. His lips landed on yours again, this time a bit more passionately. You moaned into the kiss, a signal to him that you felt good. His free hand moved up your body, slowly. You had nothing on but his hoodie and some underwear. His favorite outfit of yours.

" Is this okay?" He asked against your lips. You nodded, smiling softly. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt genuinely happy. He smiled and gently pushed you down on the bed, fixing you a bit so that your head was on the pillow. He hovered over you but you could tell he was still nervous as ever. " You can touch me anywhere.. Simon. Im not hurt anymore." You said softly, looking into his worried eyes. " I know but.. w-what if I get too aggressive-" You took his hand from beside your head and smiled. " How about this. If im hurting, ill call out.. "strawberries." Then you'll know to stop." You suggested, smiling up at him still. He pursed his lips but nodded.

He leaned down, attaching his lips to your again. This time, with lust and desperation. You could tell how much you both missed each others touch. Your hands slid under his black hoodie, tracing every ab until you got to the top. He hummed at your soft fingers against his skin, breaking away from the kiss. He moved down to your neck, gently sucking your skin. His right hand slowly, like criminally slow, slid up your thigh, gripping it every now and then.

Your eyes fluttered closed, your bottom lip trapped under your top teeth. Small, quiet whimpers left your lips every time he'd suck your neck. He left behind big and small marks, red and purple mix. He pushed himself off your body a bit, smiling at his work. " You look beautiful my love.." He whispered. You blushed and looked down. You saw the tent in his sweats, his Calvin Klein boxers peaking through at the top. His hand gripped your chin, gently moving your head to look up at him. " Don't be shy." He smirked. His hand that was still on your thigh was now at your wet core, It was throbbing for him at this point. Desperate.

" Awh.. your so wet.. show me how deprived you are from my touch baby.." He whispered, his thumb moving in small circles exactly at your swollen clit. Your body jerked up, a small moan leaving your lips. You watched his hands, only turning you on more. He watched you, his eyes not telling you what he was feeling. You felt embarrassed and began to slowly cover your face. He growled and grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head. " What did I tell you? Dont be shy.. I dont wanna have to stop you from cumming baby.. especially if you deserve it." He said, slowly moving his eyes down your body.

You shook your head, grinding your hips against him more. " Awh baby your so fucking cute when you get desperate like this." He sighed. You felt his thumb stop moving and instead, two of his fingers pulling your soaked panties down for you. He tossed them off the bed, licking his lips at your exposed pussy. " Fuck.. I wish you'd yelled at me sooner my love.. its gonna be so hard trying to hold back." He said before pulling off his hoodie. He tossed it away, before grabbing your knees, spreading them apart.

Yes this was your husband, but after being celibate for three months, you were nervous. And he felt it. He looked at you from through your legs, smiling. " Let me take care of you.. you deserve it baby." He smiled, kissing your inner thigh. He kissed down, surely leaving marks on your thighs, before finally reaching your dripping pussy again. He kissed it, earning a desperate whine from you. He chuckled before sliding his tongue through your folds, a gasp coming from you.

He slowly spread your legs more far apart. " Am I hurting you?" He asked, looking at your injured leg. " No.. remember ill say strawberry if you do." You said, patting his head gently. He smiled and nodded before turning his attention back to your pussy. It was on full display for him. He placed his hands on your hips, moving you onto his tongue. His tongue immediately went to your aching clit, sucking it ever so gently. You let out a satisfied whimper, your eyes again fluttering closed. He worked his tongue on your clit, sucking it, kissing it. His hands definitely started to make bruises on your skin but you were happy with that. Because it felt like normal. Like the sex you both used to have.

" O-oh Simon~' You'd whimper below him, gripping his brown hair. Your knees tried to connect but he gently, still worried about hurting you, kept them apart. " Don't close your legs until im done with you." He said, his lips glossy with your juices. It was such a hot sight to see. it felt like you guys were teenagers all over. Horny and desperate. His lips went back to working on your pussy, sucking your clit perfectly. " Because you had been deprived of your regular orgasms, you felt this one building fast. And it was surely gonna hit hard.

Your legs began to shake and you began to let out pathetic, desperate whimpers. " Sim-Simon I f-feel it.. shit." You cried out, gripping his hair and the sheets. He only moved his tongue faster, pulling you onto his face more. He was desperate. You could tell. He even began to moan against your pussy, looking up at you. " Thats it baby.. feel good for me. You deserve it." He said against your pussy, his middle and ring finger sliding in to help his tongue out. " Cum on my fucking face." he growled, moving his fingers faster.

His tongue moved with his fingers and quickly, you felt your body release its high. Your whole body began to shake, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. He whimpered quietly as he devoured every last drop of your cum. " Fuck baby.." He whimpered against your pussy as your body still jerked from the intensity of your orgasm. He moved his lips slowly against your pussy, sighing. He eventually sat up, his lips, nose and chin completely covered in your juices.

" You did amazing my love. Im so proud." He said, smiling down at you. You were out of breath, your eyes still shut. You felt him kiss your neck before your lips. " Do you want to continue baby? I can take care of myself. I want you to feel rested-" You pulled him down by the collar, your lips smashing onto his. He moaned into the kiss, smiling. " Yes.. I want to continue." You said after pulling away from him.

He kissed your cheeks before standing from the bed, pulling his pants down. His dick was huge. But, after three months of nothing, not even self pleasure, his dick looked..bigger. You had to admit, it made you a bit nervous. You watched as he pulled his boxers down, his whole body exposed in front of you. You quickly felt your clit throbbing all over as your eyes looked at every part of his body. " Are you positive you want this my love?" He asked, crawling back on the bed with you. He hovered over you, looking at your naked body as well.

" I swear Simon.. this is what I want." You said, looking up at him. He nodded before placing a soft but passionate kiss on your lips again. You kissed back as you felt him position himself at your entrance. " Just.. take my hand. And squeeze as hard as you want if it hurts." You nodded up at him. Despite how sex deprived you both were, how desperate, he still was patient and careful with you. He didn't want to do anything other than take care of you. " Okay.." He breathed out. Slowly, you felt him push into you. By the time his tip was in, you had already felt how thick he really was. He continued until he felt your hand grip him hard. He stopped.

" A..are you okay?" He breathed out, looking into your eyes. He was a little more than halfway in you by now and he felt like he could cum just off that alone. " I just.. need to get u-used to the feeling." You said, your other hand gripping his forearm. He nodded, kissing your cheek, then ear then neck. You loved his caring and gentle side. If you weren't injured, he'd probably be a bit less gentle, but still respectful of your needs.

" You can keep going." You smiled up at him after a minuet or so. " Are you positive?" He asked, moving his lips away from your breasts, again leaving behind more red and purple marks. You nodded and slowly, he pushed the rest of himself in. You both let out a gasp, his balls hitting the bottom of your ass as he went all the way in. " Fuck." He groaned before moving his hips back and forth slowly. With each thrust, a whimper left your lips. His head fell in the crook of your neck, slowly his hips picking up the pace.

You didnt have to ask for anything. He could read your body and what it was that you needed easily. You wanted him to go faster? He was already doing it before you moved your lips to ask. Your nails dug into his back, his hips now slamming into yours. " Yes Simon! y-your fucking me so well." You moaned, both of you not caring if your neighbors heard your moans. His hand slipped around your neck, his eyes hooded. " Yea? I am baby? Is my dick making you go.. fucking crazy?" He moaned, his free hand on your hip.

You whimpered and nodded, your body jolting up with each thrust of his. " U-Use your words..lemme hear that pretty voice." He whispered into your ear, slamming his hips into yours. You couldn't feel any pain. It was like all you needed was him fucking you silly. " I-i'm crazy..Im crazy for y...your dick Simon." You whimpered, barely able to make out words. He chuckled and kept his hand on your neck, moving at the same consistent pace.

Above you, his eyes were closed, squeezed shut matter of fact. His thrusts began to become a bit inconsistent, signaling to you he was close. " Baby.. I-ive missed this.. this pussy so much.. your gonna make..me fill you up." He groaned, his grip on you tightening. "Your gonna take.. all my cum to. Every..last..drop." He said, slamming his hips into yours with every word. You felt your stomach start to cramp and your legs shake. Both of you slowly became louder with your moans, your hands resting on his chest.

You could feel his arms wrap around your waist, hugging you as his body rested on top of you. His thrusts got sloppy, and he at this point, was a whimpering mess. " Oh baby.. im gonna..im gonna cum." he mumbled into your boobs. You tried to tell him the same but you again, felt your high wash over you. Your whole body froze, your vision weirdly went white for a quick 5 seconds. You didnt even realize Simon slamming into you fast, chasing his high. "F-fuck!" You felt his warm cum shoot into you, his body jerking as he tried to stay on top of you. But he failed, collapsing on top of you.

" s-shit.. Simon." you moaned, closing your eyes. His chest rose and fell fast, holding you tight as his cum slowly seeped out of you. He gently pushed himself back into you, wanting all of his cum stuffed into you. " I know baby.." he said, his voice tired.

both of you stayed like this for about 10 minuets. he eventually pulled out, watching your body react. " Are you hurt?" He asked, finally realizing his grip on your hips left finger marks. You smiled and shook your head. " I feel the best ive felt in three months baby.. thank you." You whispered, smiling up at him. He nodded before sliding off the bed. " I know.. I said I wanted to see you in this but. You looked beautiful and sexy regardless." He smiled before placing the box on the floor. You sat up, stretching.

" Lets shower and eat breakfast. We can go shopping. I want today tp be everything you want." He said as he lifted you up bridal style, carrying you to the bathroom. " I love you Simon.." You whispered, watching him as he carried you. He smiled and kissed your nose. " I love you more my love.. ill love you no matter what."

the end

[dreamsy990]

some pretty rough and bad sketches for some designs for a persona au? i also doodled a couple others but they need more cleanups than these guys do. which granted they still need a lot of cleanup. uhhhh notes under the cut for some stuff

i have the least to say about trucy. um i think her design needs the least touchups and thats only partially because drawing her was really easy with her canon design already being somewhat within the realm of persona designs. her arcana is the magician (obviously) and her persona is hermes !! idk why but it felt very fitting for her immediately. idk it might be a combination of both epics take on hermes being very silly and trucy acting as a sort of messenger sometimes to give people fake evidence. its ok guys it wasnt her fault shes literally a kid. honestly shes the only one ive decided on a persona for dfvgfedf. as for role in the party i think shed be garbage with physical stuff but have a very high magic stat because. magician !! as for what magic uhhh ill put a hesitant curse or wind. she could be either of those really.

athena i think would be the navigator. i just think it makes sense for her with her whole thing being about psychology and the general nature of palaces it seems fitting shed have that role. but while i think shed fill a similar role to futaba in being a navigator i think she would absolutely still be a party member because i cant imagine athena NOT being a party member. let the girl kill!!! i think shed mostly do physical damage and her magic type would be psychic obviously. i realize this is a haru ass build but whatever. also her arcana is strength. i considered some others but like come on shes strength. also while i was trying to come up with a persona for her i briefly realized i could just. take a pre existing persona and change their arcana TO strength instead of just working with personas that are already strength. and i was thinking of maybe giving her aphrodite? because i COMPLETELY forgot sex was a thing and was like "yeah aphrodite is about love and emotion and athenas got a lot of emphasis placed on her ability to hear others emotions and shes a psychologist so thats fitting also i cant give her athena as a persona obviously and ares isnt too fitting for her either but i remember hearing aphrodite at one point did have some association to war like athena and ares? and i was like YES aphrodite is a great choice. then i remembered the sex part and was like oh hm maybe not? but i might give her aphrodite anyways i just hope people like. get the actual reason why i think she should have aphrodite and dont just assume things. unfortunately i hate her design soooo much here i need to redo it or find some good inspiration

and nahyuta hasnt actually changed uh. much at all since my initial sketches for this au like a year ago. his arcana is the hierophant and his persona is uh. i havent actually decided yet sorry. lmk if yall have any good ideas though!! i do have a rough idea for his moveset, because i think he should have bless magic (because of course, maybe you could mix in some curse too for funsies but im worried about stepping on akechis toes too much with nahyuta dfvbgfd) obviously, and i think he could also be support. i dont think hed be much of a healer but have things like stat buffs and debuffs instead? so things like matarukaja and elec break for example. also for a vague concept of his role in the story, i think he might have a similar role to akechi, albeit probably not a villain really? my idea is that hed be working on his own in the metaverse, and eventually joins the main party because they share similar goals and its safer to work with others in the metaverse anyways. but hes probably slow to actually become part of the group in terms of like. being friends with them fbfrerfg. thats also why his design is sort of different in color palette from everyone else? all the others very mainly feature black in their designs while hes mostly white and gold. i think itd be cool for him to get a costume change at some point to fit in with them better, maybe make his scarf black? idk. also completely accidental but in my rough apollo sketches i gave him a similarish scarf and i think thats a funny similarity. i think nahyuta and apollo would hate each others guts. idk im trying to make designs cohesive like again you cant see it here but i tried to have trucy and apollo share a lot of design elements and i accidentally gave apollo and nahyuta similar scarfs and all the gang has black on their designs etc etc. im trying to make connections but im not all that good at character design so. its a struggle. but we stay silly.

ok thats it ummmmmm. idk. im bad at art but i hopeee you like them.

[kaiserkisser]

so- i wanted to specify what i meant about the concept of dazais actual personality clashing with his masks in mam- i think the main example i can think of is dazai and genuinely liking/caring about the gang, where his first year act allowed him to unconsciously accept caring for them (in his own special way), since mori’s become more involved in the story we’ve seen quite a few moments of dazai seemingly forcing himself to act like or think that they don’t matter to him and he doesn’t care about them. i think there’s also a major element of cognitive dissonance in both canon dazai and mam!dazai where both act like they don’t have emotions or care about people when they very clearly do to some extent even if it’s not in a normal way.

on my other point of guilt- i don’t think it’s really guilt for an action- not for pomfrey, not for pansy’s arm, not for manipulating the people around him- but rather if anything it’s for the fact that he exists and feels as though he just passively brings misfortune to people around him. i think he could be responding to being directly reminded of this by mori and his new mission. more than guilt whatsoever though, i think the self destructive behaviors would more-so come from the fact that the previous year at hogwarts, dazai had a task, but after winter break, he is the task. while the positive environment would have helped him to feel more like a person, the actual mission given directly makes him a tool instead of an agent and would influence him to be even more self destructive. this is just my read on it though- and i could very well be interpreting it completely wrong!

- fable

wait yeah that actually does make sense like in the first year even though he did keep saying he hated emotions and shit, he did allow himself to care for them in his own way, but then after that cursed convo with mori, i think he's passively trying to pull away of sorts?? or like not show to anyone that he actually cares for them because then he knows that will become something that mori or anyone else can use as a weapon against him? and yes, agreed, both versions of dazai pretend that they dont care for whatever reasons, hiding that they actually do, that they're human in a way too

again, i think u do have a point, and agree with the 'he is the task now', his mission right now is to lean into the demon student persona rn if im not wrong (i very much may be bc ill have to jog my memory) and its unlike first year when he had to merely retrieve one of the wizarding worlds important artifact thingys. this time he is his mission. he needs to act like yhe demon student everyone believes he is, and in mori's eyes it should be easy enough for someone like him, and dazai knows that, and that puts pressure on him bc of how he thinks the wizarding world is pretty different from yokohama and the pm. and the demon student is supposed to be uncaring. since he has to lean into that image, he has to be uncaring, or attempt or pretend to be. leading to his self-destructive tendencies. but he tries to do this in a subtle way i think so that the gang doesnt suspect

I honestly have no idea whatsoever where im going with this or even if im going anywhere bc my thoughts r scrambled 😭😭😭 but your interpretation is pretty interesting and has valid points! thank u for rambling and sharing ur thoughts with me omg <3

[starwell-tarot]

hello i have a question if its ok! how do you think mars conjuct venus synastry would translate in a professional relationship? like mentor/student kind where the mentor is the mars

ive seen that in friendship it can work just the two will prob feel the attraction and the mars might get slightly irritated if the venus person has smn else in their lifes so im wondering about what would happen in a relationship that wont allow this

Hello, yes! Astrology questions are okay but please take everything with a grain of salt since I am totally not a professional, I'll just be speaking out of personal experience and the studies I've done so far!

Yes, Mars conjunct Venus synastry can work in platonic ways too, but there will be 'something' a little off or different about the chemistry between those two nevertheless. It's somewhat of an idealism. Even if the Mars person and Venus person are both not interested in dating each other, at the back of their minds they will know they are ideal for each other in some way.

That's one part of it. There is more, so allow me to slowly build up to it by explaining the Mars - Venus dynamic generally.

Stereotypically, they say that the Mars person is more 'masculine' (in the idea that they are more bold, aggressive and chase after the Venus) and the Venus person is more 'feminine' (in the idea that they are more passive and give in to the Mars person). However, I'll present you with a slightly different perspective: Venus is what a person offers in a relationship, Mars is what a person is looking for in a relationship in order to settle down. It makes sense this way too, if you really wanna hold on to the whole Mars chase Venus thing, that what the 'woman' (Venus) offers makes the 'man' (Mars) wanna settle with her. Therefore, it's the Venus person that sets off the Mars person. The Venus person motivates Mars.

Because of this, in a student - teacher situation I've mostly seen Venus be the teacher and Mars be the student. It's actually much more natural like that, in my opinion. The calm of Venus and gentle support drives Mars to learn, to act. I've seen this be very favorable and Venus breathed life back into Mars and got them moving every time they'd need it.

However the situation you're explaining is quite the opposite, where Mars is the teacher and Venus is the student. Now, I'm not saying it's not going to work, because it's still a nice synastry. It signifies mutual respect and the possibility of coming to speak "the same language" if you get what I mean. Finding the middle ground of their beings to a point where their personalities start speaking a language the two invented and they can intuitively understand each other. That will exist no matter who the mentor is.

But with Mars as the mentor there might be problems with the aggression. Mars might be too imposing or quite the contrary, afraid of doing or saying anything too harsh because they're afraid not to hurt Venus. Must figure out the right way and moments to be strict/lenient. Mars should not be impatient with Venus and celebrate their wins. Mars should not be afraid of telling Venus when they do something wrong, but gently not with aggression. Overall, the Mars person needs to be patient, gentle, supportive and forgiving - embrace a more guiding persona rather than a domineering one.

When it comes to Venus however, I feel Venus will really strive to be a perfect student. Listen very well, silently take in all the information and process it and figure out the best way to use it. It's almost like a teacher's pet situation and Venus will do everything in their power to make Mars feel proud of them. Because of this, Venus needs to watch out in terms of respecting their own boundaries and not over-compromising. Should be careful to not do things just to please Mars or because they're afraid of Mars and their disappointment or anger. In some other cases, if Mars steps over Venus' personality and sensitivity way too long, I feel it could turn into a love-hate relationship. (Something along the lines of Venus secretly hating Mars and just people pleasing them.)

Gotta make sure both people have both respect for each other and also for themselves.

When it comes to a teaching situation like this, Mars and Venus is not really... Ideal to look at though. I'd personally look at Mercury, as it represents intelligence more thoroughly. Does the intelligence type of the Mars person match the intelligence type of the Venus person? If not, some adjustments might be needed, teaching should be approached in a way that is more easy to understand by Venus.

You can also look at Pluto, since it is a generational planet and can signify growing up with very different mentalities. Maybe that can help fill in the gaps, too.

----

So far, I've only experienced being the Mars in this synastry so like I said, this is mostly speculation based off of the material I read and situations I've seen.

Feel free to add to this or prove me wrong! This is just my information. Other aspects in the chart can make great differences 😁

Let me know if this was clear or helped you out. Have a great day!

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

watched the playthrough. thoughts and spoilers:

ryuji is really sweet but the game does him so dirty. for real

also funny how ryuji's persona progression was pirate (ok makes sense) >> the monkey king (i suppose it works thematically?) >> diego (mr worldwide?)

i shouldnt judge personal progression based on pokemon evolution but it is silly to me. just a bit. like makoto's was a bike that became a transformer that went back to being a cooler bike...haru's was a lady -> skull lady -> big dress lady

i wish ann's persona fit didn't. look. like that...i get why it could be justified narratively but like. come on

makoto is crazy useful gameplay wise but an absolute shit driver narratively

it's so funny how every single big bad here can be traced back to the biggest bad, a bald man with a political agenda

actually how most of the bad people from behind the scenes are just old rich men. accurate i suppose

also funny is how akechi is depicted as ultra handsome but he's just a cookie cutter anime twink

the protag is also a cookie cutter anime twink but because he wears glasses he just looks normal. superman clark kent type physics

he doesn't even need those glasses. what's the point

the gameplay itself was fun to watch. it was overstimulating in its excess of anime and sometimes bewildering in its mechanics but the music was good and i like the menu ui design

the romance options piss me off. why does the protag have the option to romance his teacher and not ryuji. sigh

poor haru. her confidant line involves her admitting she may or may not have a crush on the protag and the options essentially boil down to 'i want you' to 'die'...is there not a nicer way to let her down please

i love futaba she is just like. me. i want nothing but the best for her she is like a sister tome. also her splash art is so cute

the voice acting is really good. like i was watching with the english dub but the voice acting is really very good, especially akechi's va

they never explain how a phone app suddenly started letting people into the mind palace system. was igor busy typing out java on his thinkpad. did development get outsourced

akechi???

also i dont understand how exactly shido's support team somehow manipulated the metaverse to make everyone forget about the phantom thieves...there was some stuff about a god in there and a big cup but i think i blanked out during this part. or maybe they had nothing to do with it and im just jumping the gum

mona gets three fakeouts about his death so everyone has to feel sad about him three different times. ryuji gets one fakeout and they all beat him up in the street can we give this boy some justice

i like how p5royal gives the protag back his annoying ass toxic boyfriend but also a mentally ill girlfriend yayyy <33 diversity win your polycule is fucked up

mona only just finds out he can turn into things other than a bus in literally the last arc before they all lose their powers for forever, further proving his status as the most useless player on the team

i like how the last confrontation with dr maruki involves just slugging him as hard as you can

dr maruki's hair looks way darker to me in the anime cutscenes than in the game

'me and my emotional support toxic tulpa situationship boyfriend'

i finally understand why i kept seeing heartwrenching yaoi fanart every february second now with themes around departure death betrayal and guns etc

the ending is very sweet. though im a little confused on why they had to take separate cars to get to the train station so they wouldn't get tailed...who is tailing you? and why?

akechi???????????????

fuck that cat

tl;dr: it was fun. i am now sick in the head

watching a persona 5 playthrough

[batwhimpix]

An Interview with Former Takarazuka Top Star Asumi Rio: The Laidback Personality Behind the Handsome Face

(Translated by me 8/19/2021)

While still a member of the Takarazuka Revue, Asumi Rio was known for her sensitive acting which digs deep into the heart of each role, her crystal-clear vocals, and her captivating stage presence. As the top star of Flower Troupe, she gained an immense level of popularity. Now, it has been one year since her retirement from the company. She has expanded her repertoire from stage to screen, and continues to showcase new sides to her talent. In her first name-bearing variety program, the Hulu Original "Asumi Rio's Atelier," Asumi-san learns new tips and techniques to "step up" both her lifestyle and her design sense. Totally different from her intense onstage aura, this program offers a chance to get to know Asumi-san's soft and relaxed offstage persona.

It's been a year and a half since you left the Takarazuka Revue. How would you describe that period of time for you, Asumi-san?

When I was in the Revue, because I had managed to enter the world of Takarazuka, which was my absolute favorite place, I felt strongly that I didn't want to have any regrets. So I was very motivated to work as hard as I could to polish my craft. I was completely lost in it, but within that, I always had my fans cheering me on, and the guidance of so many around me. In the last year and a half, I've realized all over again just how precious a thing that was.

Until I left, my only experience was on the stage, so stepping into the world on screen for the first time, a lot of totally new forms of expression were expected from me, and I felt a lot of anxiety. Parting from Takarazuka and living as just one individual human, every day is full of challenges. But that said, every day now is also rich with new experiences and new possibilities, so I've come to face that with a lot of gratitude.

While you were in Takarazuka, there was a very clear image, that of a perfect "otokoyaku," to aspire to. Now that you don't have that anymore, what kind of actress are you aiming to become?

There are a lot of qualities I have now precisely because I was an otokoyaku, and I think it's probably okay for me to just embrace that. As top [abbrev. "top star", the starring otokoyaku actress in each troupe], I was in a position where I had to lead the troupe, watch over and guide all the other actresses, and shape each production as the lead actress. I think I've picked up a lot of grit through that experience, and even as a woman, I think having a bit of a masculine edge in your lifestyle and how you deal with things can be a positive, right?

Even when I was playing otokoyaku roles, moreso than aiming for a particular ideal, I came at each role separately, like, this time I'm playing this kind of man, next time I'm playing this kind of man. It was like a gradual broadening of my horizons. Now I'm simply adding female roles to that roster, so it's kind of like the scope of roles available to me has doubled. When it comes to my outward appearance, as my hair grows out and I transition toward a more feminine look, I've been having all kinds of new discoveries, like, "Oh, this kind of styling makes me feel like this." Within my drama roles as well, I like those discoveries like, if I do it like this, won't it be interesting, or if I do this, I can get viewers to say, "Oh!" I want to keep digging to find those little moments where I can really surprise people within each role.

Since your retirement from Takarazuka, what overall on-set experience sticks out the most in your memory?

I think that has to be the first show I had the opportunity to take part in, "Ochoyan" [NHK serialized telenovella]. Until I was on that set, I always thought that the stage was the most incredible place in the world. I would never find anywhere else where every member is so unified in their vision, where everyone has so much pride in their troupe and so much love for the production they're building together, as in Takarazuka. Even now, I still think Takarazuka is a very special place, and my love for it hasn't changed.

But on the set of "Ochoyan," like Takarazuka, there were so many staff working to create this thing, who truly loved the work and brought all kinds of skills to the table to bring it to life. Among the cast as well, the atmosphere during recording, where all of us in the Tsurugame Family Theater [the name of the theater company employing main character Takei Chiyo as well as Asumi-san's character Takamine Ruriko] really did feel like a family, wasn't that different from Takarazuka at all. On the contrary, because our time together was limited just to the recording of this show, it felt like everyone valued that time all the more. Being on a set like that was a huge experience for me.

In Takarazuka, you had a very hectic schedule. As soon as one production closed you were already thinking about the next. I'm sure your lifestyle has changed in a big way since then. What kind of feelings do you have about that?

I retired and moved here to Tokyo right around the start of the pandemic. During the lockdown, when I was in my house all day, I realized how long the day really is. Suddenly it was up to me to decide how to spend all this time in the day. I could use it to rest or, if I had some area I was struggling with, I could use it for training too. I had a renewed realization that depending on my own feelings, I could choose to change myself in any number of ways.

These days, how do you find yourself spending the majority of your time?

These days, I'm doing a lot of types of work I'm totally new to, and working on sets with people I've only just met, so I'm still in a place where I spend a lot of time nervous. When I'm on a set I haven't gotten used to yet, my antenna is going in all different directions, so after I get home I try to relax as much as possible. In order to fully refresh myself and go into work the next day in high spirits and ready to face whatever comes, I've been making a conscious effort to be kind to myself.

What activities allow you to refresh your batteries the most?

Zoning out, and eating delicious food.

On "Asumi Rio's Atelier," you gave steaming rice in a donabe [TN: earthenware pot traditionally used to steam rice, supposedly more delicious than steaming in a rice cooker] a try for the first time, but what kinds of things do you eat most often?

As long as it tastes good, I'll happily eat anything. I like vegetables, meat, fish, and I love carbs, too. Ideally, I want to eat a good balance of a lot of different things.

Speaking of that program, how were the topics for each episode decided? Were you able to make requests?

For "Atelier" we had the general framework that I would be trying different activities I was interested in from the onset, so basically they asked me, "What kind of things are you interested in? What do you want to try?" And then...Yeah, first I had about 30, then we added about 30 more, so in total about 60, ideas that we pitched. The program staff wanted to include as many of my requests as they could, so actually, within each episode there are probably three or four different ones. In addition to that, there's an interview in each episode that relates back to that episode's theme. I enjoyed the chance to reflect on my Takarazuka era and memories from my childhood.

On the topic of your Takarazuka era, in your first interview for us, you said, "I wasn't necessarily aiming to become top star." But within the system of Takarazuka, to climb all the way to top star, you must have been aware of something within yourself that made you want to aim higher?

Let's see...Ever since I was an underclassman, I had a strong drive to improve as an otokoyaku. I wanted people to find my performance interesting, and I wanted to be seen as a necessary part of the production. I wanted to act a lot, and I wanted to sing a lot of songs that I love. I wanted to bathe in the spotlight, and I was happy when I got to wear more gorgeous costumes. If I really think back on those feelings now, first in the shinjinkouen junior performances featuring only actresses who have been with the company seven years or less, and then in performances at the smaller Bow Hall theater next to the Takarazuka Grand Theater, inevitably I started aiming for the lead roles that would allow me to stand on stage for the longest every time.

Somewhere along that road, when I was told I was being transferred from the troupe I was first inducted into, Moon Troupe, to Flower Troupe, this feeling that I had wanted to be the Moon Troupe's successor welled to the surface. And since that's the same as saying, "I wanted to be the top star of Moon Troupe," that was the first time I became aware of that goal. Every troupe in Takarazuka has its own character, though, so after my transfer, I was desperate to hurry up and become an otokoyaku befitting Flower Troupe first...

So as you worked to further your artistic development, there at the zenith was top star.

If you were to ask my underclassman self, the Top-sans are unbelievably incredible performers, and the more shinjinkouens you experience, the more closely you come to understanding just how incredible they are. Then as you spend more years with the company and find yourself in a position where you're working directly under the Top-san, you realize how much work they're really doing, and...The more you know, the more you lose the ability to say something like "I want to be the top star" carelessly.

And yet, you bore the heavy responsibility of a top star for five-and-a-half years. It's hard to imagine from your usual laidback attitude, but when it comes to your art, you're incredibly diligent and strong-willed. That gap is captivating.

When it comes to theater, I'm very picky. I mean, I'm way too stubborn for one thing. Especially in productions where I'm playing the lead role, I always have really strong feelings about how I want to perform things, and I'm not in a position where I can hesitate to convey that. It's important to listen to the opinions of various other people too, but when it comes down to it, if I have a clear idea of the direction I want things to proceed and direct things with that in mind, it makes things easier for everyone else, so I always tried to communicate my thoughts clearly and directly. If I'm delivering consistently good work, there's a persuasive power to that. Not only do the underclassmen naturally follow along, but the staff listen and respond to my requests as well.

But when you're making this kind of production, you do have to be pretty strict. But then, the real me is more of a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, or more like, I don't want to be disliked. I didn't want the younger underclassmen to feel like I was unapproachable or like they couldn't talk to me because I was the top star. I wanted them to think of me like family. So outside matters relating to work, I tried to give off as relaxed a vibe as possible. Definitely, I think there was quite a gap between "on" and "off" for me.

Are there a lot of differences between "Asumi Rio the otokoyaku" and "Asumi Rio the actress?" How about between your stage name persona and your private self under your birth name?

I've lived under my stage name for so much longer than my birth name that I feel like, at this point, the parts of myself that belong to my real name are few and far between. I do have the feeling that, in some respect, I've grown up together with my stage name. In essence, while I was in Takarazuka, I didn't worry too much about creating a separate persona. Thanks to the kindness of my fans and the environment I was in, I felt like I could leave my otokoyaku persona on the stage and stay pretty close to my natural self everywhere else. I guess the only thing is, when I'm alone in my house, I revert to goblin mode. (laughs wryly) Like I'll have trouble getting myself to go take a bath, or I really should clean but my back hurts, etc., etc.

By contrast, now that I've graduated from being an otokoyaku, a lot of the things I'm doing as an actress are total firsts for me, so I think I feel more discomfort with my presentation now than I did then. There are times when I get really nervous, and then I get disappointed in myself for feeling that way. Like, until just a little while ago, I was in a position where I was responsible for keeping everyone's morale up. I would get up on that stage like, "It's alright, just leave it to me," so what am I all anxious for now? I often think about how much I still have to learn, and how badly I want to hurry up and learn it so I can show the results of my efforts.

Is there a particular ideal you're currently pursuing? What kind of actress do you want to become, and what kind of woman?

Since leaving Takarazuka, I've had a lot more opportunity to meet all kinds of new people. On every set I've been on, each of the actresses I meet has their own unique aura, and seeing their acting up close, I'm blown away by each of them. Among the staff as well, there are so many different kinds of professionals of all ages, and I often find myself inspired by their work ethic and lifestyle. I'd like to continue to enrich my life by learning from the amazing people I meet and experiencing many new things, and work to become a more fully rounded human being.

*Bracketed notes not marked "TN" (Translator's Note) were present in the original article.

[akookminsupporter]

i have a real bone to pick with the idea that jk is the "straightest member" in bts because as far as i see, the one i (a lesbian) read the most as gay is actually jungkook?? like, i know we only see a small part of their life and i do have some doubts, but to me thats like. the only way i can read him as??? from what i can see of the persona he chooses to share with us, i think he's actually very similar to me, and so when i see him act i can totally see my own experience of being in the closet. i totally see myself in the way hes overenthusiastic in his recommandation of lgbt artists, or when he is faced with anything lgbt related (see : the imagine dragon speech). i can see myself when i see his evolution from over the years as an overcompensating masculine person in a sense, to his softer and "feminine" side being more often showed these days. i can see myself in his rejection of certain societal norms, where i can sense a certain. anger (for lack of a better word) stemming from the way he (as all of society is) was forced to conform in his early days, and how he uses those to both express himself and reject pressure.

now i know i am not stating my case very well here, and i know im not giving enough examples, but thats mostly because 1. i am very tired right now and i have trouble synthetizing my thoughts into words, 2. this is getting very long and 3. english is not my first language and i already have trouble finding the words to best portray what i mean (btw, if you think sometimes what i write kinda lacks nuance, i can see that too, im sorry, its because of language limitations). BUT. i do feel very strongly about this because i genuinely can see myself in him and in the way he acts and it makes me feel really comforted, in a way artists who are actually out cannot make me feel because even though i do love and relate to them, there is still something in them that feels foreign to me as someone who's mostly in the closet.

side note, kinda related but kinda not : another way i can see myself in jungkook (before i say it i wanna precise i dont say hes that way, im just talking about what im observing) is through my autism?? like, i can really see myself in the way he often rocks his body, or the way he maintains eye contact to an uncomfortable degree, or the way hes an hyperempath, or the way he has very sensitive senses, or the way he tends to really focus on something he likes for a certain period of time. i dont think these characteristics makes him autistic or wtv, im just glad to see someone who's really famous and acts like me, and its also really comforting to see someone being considered incredibly cool in spite of (or, in this case, because of) certain traits that i was (and still am) personally bullied for :'))

i think the main point im making thru this ask is jungkook relatable king hahaha

anyways i love your blog!! pls dont listen to the hate comments :))))

“Jungkook relatable king.” He is!

Honestly I find it funny when Anons apologise for their English, when their English is very good, better than mine!

Anon, your ask makes sense. And I agree with you. I'm glad you can relate to Jungkook. I'm glad you find similarities between you and him and that makes you feel good.

It makes me very sad to read that you have been bullied for something you can't control, people can be extremely ignorant in this world.

I personally like to read the opinion of people from the LGTBIQ community on kookmin because I feel they have a different or maybe more accurate perspective on all of this, so thank you Anon!

I'm really glad that you like the blog, but the one who should be thanking you is me, because you are the ones who are sustaining this blog with the asks you send me.

And don't worry about sending long messages! Have you seen how much I write sometimes?😂

And don't worry, I don't pay attention to the haters. I sincerely hope you don't either.

[ot3]

Late on the whole 'why do you follow me' but you literally give off some of the most (unintentional) batshit intimidating vibes on this site. Its great, refreshing even. Finding a big functional adult creator who interacts w their audience in a candid way/cuts the BS is a very novel thing for me and. man idk. tumblruser OT3 is this cool orb on my shelf I ponder sometimes.

On the one hand I DEEPLY admire your work and persona. Very much so. but on the other, there's nothing i'd want less than to to interact with you beyond this very shallow, very fun social convention you've set up here with these asks. Like. Like i'd definitely come to you for some personal sage wisdom (which is pretty weird, idk you) but then you interact with my posts on occasion and then i feel like. Blindsided. This should be a one way street. Am i making sense.

well im glad at least someone thinks im functional because let me tell you not very high up on the list of words i used to describe myself i am sort of in shambles right now on most levels. but also i feel like in general i think this ask is less flattering than you intended it to be.

as much as its good to understand that you don't really know people online i think it's also kind of not great to assume that they have a social media persona either. like this is not a persona this is just my Personality. i'm just like this. if i was going to construct some idealized or curated social media presence it would not look like this at all. i would much rather come off as someone who is distinctly less emotionally volatile and stop getting mad about petty fandom stuff that doesn't matter. but unfortunately i can't do that even when i try so it's all more or less what it says on the tin.

i really do appreciate the admiration, don't get me wrong, it's genuinely heartening to know people look up to me in any way. but i don't think there's ever a way to tell a person 'the way you behave makes me not want to interact with you the way id interact with a normal person' that doesn't feel kind of weird to receive.

like, i dont know theres always this strange back and forth where half the people Online are like 'if you want to be friends with people online start acting like youre already friends!' and the other half are like 'avoid overfamiliarity with internet strangers because theyre not your friends and you mean nothing to them' and i think the much happier medium is to treat internet strangers not like friend and not like a completely different species but just as a peer you haven't really engaged with yet. like. it absolutely SHOULD be a two way street that's what Online is for. if i was only interested in output and didn't want any input i just wouldn't reply to anybody.

it's a little weird to hear 'i would ask you for advice but i don't want to actually have a regular interaction with you.' i'm not sitting here in some zoo enclosure that other people are coming up to, we're both just sort of wandering around the mall and bumping into each other occasionally. like i'm not trying to sit here and soapbox at the greater tumblr population it just comes off like that because im wordy and opinionated but for the most part i just say whatever comes to mind and engage in any discussion that feels fun or interesting to me.

the sort of conception you have of me seems to be way more tactical or hierarchical and structured than what im actually doing and i guess that's something i'm a bit sensitive about, personally. for some reason for a not insignificant amount of people have seemed to get the impression that i am somehow manipulative or strategically inauthentic in my social interactions and it's caused a lot of problems for me. but like i just like talking about things online really and it can be kind of alienating to hear stuff like this. if that makes any sense

[definitelynotcesia]

good eve! submission to my loml abt my theories that i shook off of my brain. pls this is only for cesia because i accidentally said too many things here hehe.

warning: whatever i said here are just merely theories and they might be wrong so read with utmost discretion.

it's been a while since i have even heard from you

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads, but I

Watch us go 'round and 'round each time

here,, i looked at this as if i am either taehyun or yn. but lets say this is more likely to be yn because she's the one who knows and is aware of everything that's happening. yn has this sofi the bitch situation right?and knowing yn she might think that she should stop this rekindled connection with taehyun since yea sofi but this verse gives me the hope that our yn will keep this connection going this time?? like she would have this yea fuck it let's keep this yn x taehyun conversation instead of sunny x taehyun (since sofi is pretending to be sunny now. eww) situation. i think yn would keep this connection again even though she knows the consequences of this action. so if this is right, there might be some yn x taehyun subtle landian blessings. i am keeping my fingers crossed for this one.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mmm, yeah)

I say, "I heard, oh

That you've been out and about with some other girl"

Some other girl

He says, "What you heard is true, but I

Can't stop thinking 'bout you and I"

pls im very intrigueed because yn nd taehyun recently had a conversation abt this right? him and sofi. like the last update was about taehyun and sofi's relationship and how yn was talking about it. but pls bear in mind that taehyun implied that yn was secretly hoping right? right??? so this is where "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking 'bout you and I" makes really sense for me because taehyun admitted that there is something abt sofi nd him (because sofi is pretending to be sunny eww again) but he knows that the connection between him and yn is what keeps him up at night. he cant help but think abt what he and yn has. he feels something. something that he could not pin out. yes mr. kang keep on thinking. so maybe,,, he'll start comparing yn to the past sunny (yn's persona) to the present sunny which is none other than the pretentious sofi. And maybe yn isn't the only one secretly hoping at this point. *winks*

but then,,, an insider told me that this song might be a spoiler for the whole story instead of a chapter (insider kind of suspicious tho). so i started looking at it in a bigger setting (sorry im still going.).

so style is generally accepted to be taylor swift's song about harry styles (nothing is confirmed here but miss swift,,, i can feel it.). but that's not the entire point here. i would just like to give u guys a background about the song. the song has been analyzed and interpreted for many times now and there are many similarities as well as differences. like how the song kinds of tells us about a relationship and they know that it will not work out at the first place but they insisted on doing it. there are other analysis that says that this song is about two lovers that weren't just synching as if time wasn't agreeing their way. others says that this one is about being uncertain about a relationship. all of the analysis ive mentioned are yes,, you've guessed it - are my points on how style is related to helpline or how it spoils the whole series...?

So first point/connection. we know at the very beginning of helpline and the interaction between taehyun and yn (as herself) it was just yn that likes taehyun because taehyun alr likes sunny at this point. flashbacks of the secondhand embarrassment brought to u by yn and beomgyu. so she alr sees this relationship with tyun as hopeless because he likes the persona that she created, the exact same persona that she was scared to reveal. it was upon taehyun's support and the daycare as well that made yn feel positive about this. reference #1: style is about knowing that things wont really work out and would just end up badly but you still did it anyway.

second, reference #2: style is about a relationship that is not synching up. "Well it's basically kind of one of those relationships that's always a bit off. I talk about in another song on the record, a crooked love, which is kind of like never quite synced up right..." taylor mentioned this during her promotion for the 1989 album. so notice how whenever the relationship between taehyun and sunny is at its highest, suddenly there are conflicts arising. this might be just cesia's writing technique but notice the lyrics!!! "and when we go crashing down, we come back every time". the first crash was when taehyun likes sunny instead of yn. but yn is sunny! and that ladies and gents is the firt come back. the second crash was the allegations abt who might be the real sunny and the first come back mi amigos is taehyun's reassurance to sunny aka yn. the latest crash and the most annoying of all is sofi and i am still hoping for the next come back that might happen real soon.

reference #3: "When I wrote this next song I was thinking about how we have these kind of fashion staples that never quite, we never quite throw them out of our closet, right? No one's going to be like, why are you wearing a little black dress, no on wears that, that was so two years ago. Everybody has that perfect little black dress or for a guy that great white t-shirt that fits you perfect. You may not necessarily wear them all the time, but they're always there in the back of your closet in case you need to go to your old standby, that classic thing that always works. I was thinking about that, and I then I was thinking about how there are feelings like that, how there are trends that never go out of style and how there are feelings that never go out of style. Do you see where I'm going with this?" the feeling that taehyun that he's not throwing or neglecting was how he felt connected to sunny in a very intimate way. like i think that was what he was looking for in sofi, yes the pretentious sofi. he was looking for that kind of connection. the safeness and the realness of taehyun and sunny towards each other. notice how the connection was only visible when he was talking or with yn (the real sunny). because the connection between him and sunny cannot be faked. no matter how hard sofi tries to pretend and act the connection is just nowhere to be found.

i dont have enough time to concluded this now but i hope this makes sense to cesia klshdjkgshjjhahj

the loml being the yn protection squad™ leader and founder that she is,,,,

these are actually very very interesting theories you have written here babe. i think some theories quiet matched to what i had in mind tbh, sort of almost but not quite ?? (if the grammar is right,,, wtf). i'm interested in your other theories though akbskdhsn why does this feel like a research oral defense or smth

you really placed so much effort in dissecting the song omg i already told you this but i'm telling you once again,,, you make me cry so hard wtf :< i just love you sm, my soulmate :<<

ps: all of this may have started from here

[lightblueterracota]

hey, about your hermitshipping post, i wanted to weigh in: im of the opinion that people shouldn't do it (it's complicated though)

i actually agree with viewing hermitcraft through a roleplaying lens. there's a lot of character work involved, much like the stuff that doc and ren are doing, helsknight/evil x, plus the fact that anything we see onscreen is something they've chosen to share (so their persona isn't 100% indicative of their irl self). i think it's a gray area for shipping here (all within boundaries of course) and from what i've seen, the hermits have been neutral-positive about the topic for the most part.

the issue is that the people who vehemently defend hermitshipping are usually self described "anti antis" or "proshippers". there are other posts out there that explain why these labels and mentality are so harmful better than i can. bottom line is, a lot of my discomfort comes from the culture surrounding shipping, and the people terminally online trying to justify gross or triggering behavior (in general, not just within this fandom). i try my best to steer clear of it, just block and move on, yknow?

in general though.. shipping real people is just weird to me? in vintagebeef's latest episode he mentioned his wife and like. stuff like that just cements the fact that these are real people and it's strange seeing people take this stuff super seriously.

so that's my take, i hope it made sense. i'll acknowledge the gray area but it still makes me uncomfy, so i filter block and move on

hi there! thanks for taking the time to send in your thoughts, i’m very open and friendly to discussion!!!! i understand and agree with what you say too about fandom culture tbh. i feel like with way social interactions and content consuming works in our current age with the internet, the way we consume media nowadays has become extremely warped. i’ve seen a lot of really well articulated posts describing why those certain fandom “titles” of anti-anti and proship and all that are really harmful and i completely agree that there really is some irredeemable behavior, a lot of justification of some very bizarre and not okay things under the guise of “fandom culture” in general, not even just for mcyters.

i think it all comes down to how one is able to draw the line between a content creator and well… their content! and how to separate them and then when to acknowledge it’s one of the same and not. for me in particular when i look at hermitcraft, i always thought it was very roleplay esque, similar to how actors take on roles in movies as they act out their really fun lore and stories, and as such i look at their minecraft activities as completely separate from what they actually do as people! of any fun pairings i do see in hermitcraft, i absolutely do not see it beyond the realm of minecraft and their characters of them being fun creatures and supernatural beings and things like that. ( personally i love doc’s lore of him being part creeper. that’s so cool )

(also i didn’t know vintagebeef had a wife and kids that’s really cool! i learned recently that impulse has also a wife and kids and some nephews & nieces too, which was really cool and surprising to hear because imo he sounds so young! but anyway.)

it makes me think about for example ren and doc! both of those have joked about rendoc and encouraged it, all within the realm of their storyline lores and stuff. but irl ren has his own girlfriend and doc is also in a relationship & has a baby, and that’s super fun to hear & is completely separated from whatever minecraft activities. especially in a fantasy type of world that i think minecraft is, esp this season will all the lore, it can be really fun to imagine with! but also just really cementing that i don’t see these youtubers in hermitcraft roleplayer servers really any different from an actor taking on a role in a movie ! of course i think these youtubers are also completely entitled to say “hey, i make this content, so please treat my content as such” when they ask for fandoms Not to be shipping and stuff, which i think is completely understandable since youtube content creation IS a bit more personal!

of course that’s my interpretation tho. some people disagree and think that these hermit characters are one and the same with the people making the content (which i can understand, but also it is obvious they tailor their content to BE presented a certain way!). i think the fact that a lot of people have a lot of difficulty finding that line of interpretation and acting on it peacefully is really lost within fandom spaces due to… internet? new age? a variety of reasons probably. so that’s why i’m curious to hear how other people think of it! the thing is, i don’t really think there IS a universal answer for where that line is between content creation and its creator, because literally everyone is different.

thanks for sharing your two cents, i completely agree with you :) i find irl shipping to be pretty invasive and disrespectful of said irl relationships you and i both mentioned, so as such i avoid it. but for me, i don’t see hermitcraft server as irl, but rather it’s roleplaying a lore storyline as these youtubers create their own characters. so while yeah it is a persona made by them, it’s still a fictional and fabricated persona so i don’t really see it as the same as Shipping Them as Content Creators. unfortunately, that causes a lot of rifts between people, & i do wish people could have normal discussions about these kind of things without needing a million disclaimers asking for peace and civility.

[vivdunye]

present day, present time

and you don't seem to understand

fabled adages of science

so i was watching the snyder cut of justice league the other morning, i couldn't really begin to tell you why other than i needed 4 hours of background noise . but i tuned in at one point when the fictional super Israeli, wonder woman, narrated a scene explaining an alien technology "that was so advanced that it almost seemed like sorcery", and wouldn't yknow, that's a real concept actually, i recognized it immediately as clark's third law:

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

it's perhaps the most well known and oft quoted of the three, but i always felt like arthur c. clark's first 2 laws don't ever get quite enough love . i've been thinking heavily about the first law lately:

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

i've been thinking about it in relation to this one quote from wernher von braun that i always liked:

Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of our spiritual existence after death.

many people are afraid of death; of ceasing the awareness of life, because they don't know what will happen to themselves after, where do they go if anywhere? it's much more nebulous in the secular sense if you haven't a construct for the afterlife already . i've been thinking about death more and more often lately to a worrying degree . however, scientific thought for all its clinical detachment from all things spiritual has strangely enough always felt like the perfect module for contemplating the metaphysical . so i decided to do some research .

i want to recall right now thomas edison's first intended use for the phonograph . edison had originally envisioned the phonograph primarily as a means of preserving the voices of loved ones after death . he later went on to try and develop a "ghost box" or "spiritphone" . this device would allow humans to communicate directly with the dead . he was unsuccessful .

if hauntology has taught us anything, we technically do have ghost boxes now, but maybe not in the way edison intended or even predicted . we carry them everywhere and can check them anytime, channeling messages through them constantly . we actively become digital ghosts, online we are both present and absent . the present implodes with the past, we've over-documented everything so now we can experience an instant nostalgia . today's future becomes archaic, we live in the archive to try and remember what the future once was .

'haunted' and 'futuristic' become one and the same .

by this token i'm reminded also by transhumanism . as the technological singularity fast approaches, as progress charges forward at a constantly increasing speed, current estimates posit the 2040s as the point in which technological improvements will occur at a constantly self-replicating rate . in the time between now and then, transhumanism and the eventual merging of human consciousness with machinery are theorized outcomes of technological progress . one day we might be able to leave the shackles of our human bodies and transcend our physical forms as a joined digital consciousness .

and in relation to this i also think now of clark's second law

The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

through the wired

this is the stage on which the anime Serial Experiments Lain is set . a story, that while constructed on the patchwork of fiction, is nevertheless symbolic of certain phenomena based in reality .

also i apologize if it wasn't apparent that this post was going to be about Lain . im lainposting boys

the first few episodes exist to misdirect the viewer right from the beginning . and only by returning to these episodes having thought through the rest of the show, does their purpose become clear . the first episode, aptly titled "Layer 01: Weird" , is meant to show us exactly one thing, that lain is fucking weird . we can't tell what she's thinking, we can't tell what she's doing, and that's exactly how everyone around her feels . lain is totally and completely disconnected, she doesn't keep up with current events at school, she doesn't communicate with her family, near as we can tell she has no actual interests besides her stuffed animals and totally phasing out of reality. the inciting incident of the series happens when someone tries to make a connection with lain, and that person happens to be dead...

or at least there body is dead, their consciousness seems to have escaped into the wired . lain's decision to pursue this connection is what lead's her to ask her father for a new navi (the series' name for a personal computer) and that's all that really happens in this episode . coming back to it from later episodes we know that lain is probably thinking a lot throughout this episode . the decision to not entreat us to any of her thoughts is intentional, it is to make us feel distant from her as viewers, the same way that the world around her is distant . as lain forms connections throughout the series, so too, will we form a connection with her .

we do not know how much time has passed since then and the second episode, but whatever has happened lain has already developed a significant presence in the wired . this episode is tricky in its presentation as it doesn't make us privy to which things lain is lying about and which things she's honest about . in it we have lain talking to someone on her navi, she types sporadically in an encrypted language, and someone who looks just like her appears late one night in a night club downtown . while lain won't admit it to her classmates it's apparent at the end of the episode that it was her at the club all along . the key to understanding her actions throughout the episode is to realize she is trying to keep her existence in the wired and her existence in reality as separate entities . the realization she has by the end of the episode, which she uses to terrify a gunmen into suicide is that there is no escape from the wired, no matter where you are you are always connected .

made in the late-90s, Lain was quite ahead of its time . it predicted not only how in the early 2000s the internet would be regarded as a separate world where anonymity and personas reigned—it also predicted how the internet would eventually and inevitably overlap with the real world, once people in the real world realized that the internet is the real world . people have a tendency to see one part of themselves as their "true selves", whereas the parts they show to others are personas, they think of these things as separate when in reality a person is an amalgamation of all of their personas . lain tries to change her personas by dressing and acting differently from when she's in the wired-mode and in normal-mode, but she doesn't realize how people have been doing this way before the wired existed . her classmates are all 15 but they all pass for adults when they've dolled up and hit the club . if the characters in the show seem a bit young for their attitudes then you may not have met enough tech-savvy teenagers before . the purpose of this episode is to ultimately to prove to lain that the so-called real world and the wired are merely two layers of one reality, which couldn't be more true of the world today .

let there be light300pMTK. .

in mythology, psyche was the mortal princess who fell in love with and, eventually, married the god cupid; in religion and classical philosophy, psyche came to mean the human soul, and in the modern, literate world, it retains that meaning as the human spirit; in freudian analysis, psyche refers to the totality of the human mind: the id, ego and superego .

every meaning of psyche is distinctly human: a human princess who achieves godhood, the soul or mind of an individual . if previous episodes introduced the blurring of the real world with the wired, then episode three; "Layer 03: Psyche" is the episode that starts to blur human identity online and offline . one doesn’t even have to venture into the wired to ask what is human .

by this point we know that lain is definitely up to something . at this stage it's hard to tell what, but all we get are little glimpses into her actions . she still seems to be hiding a lot from the world around her and from the viewer in turn . ironically, lain's blank-faced silence and response to the questions of those around her it's own incrimination . when a police officer tells her to speak up (regarding the gunman's suicide) even if she had nothing to do with it, he doesn't realize she's being silent precisely because she does have something to do with it . but her deer-in-the-headlights persona gets her out of it .

the lain of the wired and the lain of reality are slowly starting to mesh into one whole . it remains difficult to interpret the physical existence of "other lain" so to speak, and the show refuses to outright show her playing that character . at the least, we do get to see lain access the wired in all its chaotic glory and she does begin to take an active interest in expanding her knowledge as she learns about and installs the "Psyche drive", a computer circuit that lain procures in hopes of it enhancing her computer's processing power . on the smaller scale, when lain applies the psyche processor to her navi, she is installing a spirit or soul, an animating element, to her machine . notably, the psyche does not replace the main processor; psyche augments the main processor, interpreting the data that flows through it . the soul is not simply the brain, it is an elevated consciousness or meta-self. by this point in the series lines become blurred and the lains begin to merge (hehe) . all of this is set against the backdrop of lain trying to decide if she should remain in the physical world or fully integrate in the wired . she hears one voice telling her that death feels amazing, and god exists in the wired, that there is nothing left for lain in this world . however, lain begins to establish a connection with her classmate alice, saying her name out loud and commiting it to memory for the first time, alice asks why her friends are not more shaken up after watching someone shoot himself in the head the previous day . it's almost as though lain is clinging to alice as an excuse to stay in the physical world out of fear for changing over . this all sets the seeds for what eventually grows throughout the series .

i want to recall the final meaning of the word “psyche". that the word also meant “butterfly,” which is how the greeks imagined the soul to appear . no doubt the symbolism of a creature that begins as one thing and transforms into another is not lost on us here .

every event serves to emphasize the existence of one's own personal reality, and as individuals from all others, we desire a place to belong . however that too is an egotistical concept . in order for there to be a mutual understanding, it is necessary to recognize here and now, like the brain synapses, we are all—in a logical yet chaotic manner—connected .

each is seperate—yet they are one . by connecting, humanity gains first awareness of its function as a seed . and by connecting a human no longer remains a mere endpoint, a "terminus", but becomes a junction to another point, having won the right to continue itself . in a sense, the ability to connect is the ability to continue . this not only applies to the connection of axial coordinates but temporal coordinates as well . therefore, at the time when a conscious, intentional connection is made, surely the dead will rise from there intended place, appearing at the time coordinate of the connection's origin .

in that moment, the realization will dawn that the time in which we inhabit our physical bodies is but the starting point of the connection, and the very meaning of possessing a physical body might be questioned .

we recognize we are connected .

serialize thyself .

[violentviolette]

You’ve reblogged a few posts about lack of/shaky sense of self before and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind explaining how that manifests? I understand that npd/aspd often means you’re wearing “masks” or changing aspects of personality to appeal to people but I can’t really visualize how that works/feels?

so, disclaimer that this is really something thats gonna be different for everyone depending on ur other disorders and just general personal life kinda things but i can def try and explain how it manifests for me personally

for me my lack of self is due mostly to my childhood abuse and then exacerbated by my bipolar disorder, though my aspd and npd also play smaller parts

growing up my parents had very specific ideas of who my brother and i were/should be and how we should act and would constantly gaslight us about our own feelings. if i was upset and tried to comunicate that i got told that no i wasnt upset i was actually feeling x (usually negative and willfully malicious) emotion and heres why i shouldnt be feeling that. if i tried to speak up about not liking something that my parents felt i should then i got told no, i did actually like that and heres why they know more about what i actually want than i do. my mom was constantly telling me that since she gave birth to me she knew me better than myself so i should listen to her about who i was and what i liked and didnt like. so this lead to me never actually being able to trust my own feelings, i didnt know who i was growing up because everytime i tried to figure myself out i got told i was wrong, but i also knew i wasnt the person everyone around me was saying i was. so its just the feeling of not being able to trust ur own emotions. do i really like that thing or do i just think i do because someone else said i did? and those kinda feelings

then when my bipolar disorder began to manifest i had severe manic dilusions and so my sense of reality became very very loose and shakey which only exacerbated my detatchement from myself as like, a concept? i wasnt “me” as a pre-teen, i was always something else. a monster, a demon, a god, anything that explained why i felt so unbelievably wrong all the time. my brain was trying to rationalize why i felt so disconnected from myself and others. why i felt so different and like i just couldnt relate to anyone around me

after i got groomed and sexually abused i started having the abuse response to please people to get them to stay happy with me and not abandon me, and since this was also when i think my cd/aspd symptoms began to really be exacerbated i started using masks to please people and give them what they wanted to avoid punishment. so i still wasnt retaining any true sense of self i was just slipping into different personas based on what i felt the other person would respond best to. tho i was never able to maintain these masks for long and would always eventually devolve and break down into anger and lash out

i still struggle with masking, and esp in situations where im around strangers or people i dont know well i mask hard and am a very different person because i just dont feel safe enough to be myself. but as i got older and really starting being introspective about who i wanted to be and what my behavior really was it became easier to find a more stable sense of self and now i mostly know who i am lol at the very least i have a mostly stable and consistent personality that doesnt change drastically for other people

[n-ugg]

I didn't expect to get tagged but here we are. As you all will be able to tell in a bit, I am a massive Quackity fan

Thank you for tagging me @skeetlehands!

who is your favourite member on the smp?

Look, I love them all but these have a special place in my heart.

Quackity, Slimecicle (I am fully aware he just joined but I still love him), Schlatt, Tubbo, Eret, AweSamdude, and Ponk.

They're just great in and out of character and just have comforting vibes.

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

I gotten in during the Pogtopia era since it took me a while to get access to the streams.

I mainly gotten in with the Sad-ist War animatics along with me trying to catch up on Quackity's VODS. Just someone that I was already familiar with being an easier shift into story and learning others through him

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching everyone interact with other and just seeing the plot progress in real time. Its literally just dnd but with extra steps but I enjoy it so much

The improv that they all do is amazing and how everyone have different approaches to their characters makes my writer's side so happy with dissecting everything.

What piece of cursed lore is your favourite

That Wilbur canonically fucked a fish and Philza canonically fucked a Samasung fridge and just seeing the fanbase try to change into something that will at least make a bit more sense.

Im included in this, I basically joined the side that has Sally being a mermaid shapeshifting pirate. Mainly because of pirate Fundy

Who is your favorite duo on the smp

Slimecicle and Ranboo: They're the same person but in different fonts, you can convince me otherwise

Schlatt and Quackity: They managed to be super funny together with all of the jokes and balanced with making a very realistic abusive relationship work. It was always fun seeing them flirt with each other for a joke then get hit with whiplash when canon comes in to remind me that this isnt healthy

Tubbo and Tommy: They're two dumbasses who share the same braincell but then they constantly lose it and Tubbo mainly has custody of it

Wilbur and Schlatt: I just enjoy seeing Schlatt messing with Wilbur and occasionally flirts with him to get Wilbur more pissed off

Who are your comfort streamers

Quackity and Slimecicle are comfort streamers

Eret, Fundy, and AweSamdude are my comfort people (meaning I dont watch them as much but I find comfort in their presence. And the other two are also under this category)

Who is your favorite character

Quackity due to how complex his character is and yet how it looks so simple

Schlatt because is just a villian who knows how to play the game without getting caught

Tubbo, watching him trying to be hopeful with everything destroy around him and he just slowly become used to everything going wrong

AweSamdude because he is just trying his best to be a father figure others and I just got family issues

Who do you think the best actor(s) on the smp

Imma skip over the ones that we all already said and get into the ones that dont get enough praise

Quackity: Just how he managed to make his character seem so basic but in reality its really complex. And just seeing the shift from him being a chaotic force of nature to being a serious character that is trying his best to reach something that has been hanging over his head is just *chefs kiss* and he always delivers amazing lines on the spot.

BadBoyHalo: He is doing great right now, even though he is a bit rusty with starting he still manages to get into character and stay in character the entire time. When slowly easing in, you can tell its a bit forced but once he finds his footing, he knows how to deliver his lines.

AweSamdude: His entire bit where he was getting rescued from the egg fucking hurt. How he sounded weak from the entire thing and tired to where he just wanted to rest was so well. And I know he can act more energetic when he was accidentally dragged into playing a cop during Quackity's and Bad's date

Fundy: You guys need to give him more praise for his acting because he is fucking amazing at it. The little touches to how he voice when speaks is so good along with his body language in game. He knows what he's fucking doing and I love him for that. And when he snapped, it made complete sense if you payed attention to his character

I didnt add Ranboo because he's automatically at the top section due to him being a dnd player. Same goes to Slimecicle even though he hasnt acted yet. I dont make the rules. You play dnd, you know how to act

What are your favorite quotes

I dont have favorite quotes, just dialog heavy scenes.

Before Doomsday, Quackity going to take his horse far away from L'Manberg, it being the one thing he cares about. It was just so good

The entire Schlatt and Quackity argument in front of the white house

The meeting between Schlatt and Quackity with Schlatt yelling out to him in a taunting way to where Tommy and Quackity are trying to figure out what happened to the tnt. I constantly rewatch it to feel the adrinaline pumping to feel something

Wilbur's slow descend into insanity and talking to Tommy. Just showing his paranoia and fears consuming him, him projecting his fears into Tommy as an attempt of manipulation, and his hero complex shift into villian one

Schlatt's winning speech of him projecting it as something that was bound to happen no matter what. The amount of charisma and confidence that was in his voice as I was watching Tommy hiding underground in fear was just a perfect scene

Tommy's argument with Dream when everyone is protecting Tommy. Its the small details of Tommy taunting Dream to kill him, knowing he wont no matter what. Him telling everyone to protect Tubbo and everyone listening without hesitation.

The debate that Quackity and Dream had for like 11 or 14 minutes. All of that was completely unprompted unscripted, it was just so satisfying seeing someone stand up against Dream for the first time and actually beating him. Sure it was in a verble conflict but it still counts as a defeat

Be honest, who do you simp for? (Ayo if anyone says Tommy or Tubbo I will🗡)

Schlatt, Quackity, and Slimecicle

Its pretty obvious, I dont really try to hide it

Whats your favorite stream

Uhhhh I dont exactly have one so none I guess

Whats your least favorite streams

Im sorry, but all of the Jackbox stream. You need a specific group of people to play together in order to actually make it funny and keeping the energy throughout the entire thing.

After a bit later, everyone has a tendency of pandering to the audience and repeat jokes. They managed to beat jokes to the ground faster than Tiktok AND Twitter.

Dont get me started with DreamTeam being in there. They're funny in thier own rights but the shipping jokes get so unfunny so quick and they dont know how bounce off of others well. The only exception to this is when Quackity, Velvet, and Ant were playing with Sapnap and Dream. And thats because they decided to mess with the straight white guys into accidently saying offensive shit and seeing those two suffer with trying tiptoe around was so amusing

Whats something about the smp fandom thay makes you sad

This doesnt get me sad, just frustrated and its mostly towards dsmptok and dsmptwt but sometimes this fandom doesnt fucking know how to analyze characters. Like when everyone jumped on Tubbo on being the bad guy when he was a kid trying to use old tatics that knows that worked before and stand up for himself

How when one person decides to do something that they believe is right, everyone just throws the term villian arc around

When one person does one good thing the suddenly everyone accepts into them being good and not ever looking into it.

For fucks sakes, I saw people keep saying that Quackity was turning into Dream or Wilbur and I just sat there being confused on how they conntected those dots that were in different books.

Its so frustrating to read through. But here on dsmpblr, you guys actually understand character analysis, are able to critique them and able to love whoever you enjoy.

Another thing is how this fanbase really puts everyone on a pedestal or objectify them. Just completely forgetting that they're human and treat the streamer as a character. Like, yeah they're playing up a persona whenever they're making content but theres a difference and you shouldn't hold them up like that.

You cant use the argument of "They're young, they dont know any better", when I first entered my first fandom (I was like 11/12), I fully understood that theres a boundary between me and the creator. What they are on screen is a persona but they're still human and I should treat them as such. Its just something that bugs me and its unnerving to see whenever people start getting wierd about it

Final bit is just how the twitch chat acts. They all force the streamer to follow the 'main' plot of it being Tommy or Techno or whoever the fandom chooses to have a favorite, completely ignoring the fact that they are their own character. No one wants to meta game because where is the fun in that but the fucking chat gets so annoying when the streamer goes against fanfavorite of the week. It drains the fun of it being multiple pov's and different characters.

When Slimecicle was barely starting stream I saw so many people spam "Go with Ranboo" and not let him even get into lore first. I hated that I knew it was coming but it was still so fucking frustrating seeing them try to boss him around. Please just let people live outside of the 'main' plot, not everything revolves around your favorites. Now shut the fuck up and let them play

What about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

The people that create art, animatics, theories, playlist, or write oneshots

All of you creators are great and deserve so much more respect then what the fandom gives you because jesus fucking christ they're all so fucking rude. You guys are the ones that are carrying this fandom on your backs and I fucking respect yall for that

________________

Time for da spead: @nixavia @dambette404 and @mocha-is-lost yall dont need to join.....unless😳😳😳

[constablegoo]

@astralglam​​​​ filed a report .

mint: does your muse view themself as virtuous & moral? what do these words mean to them?

OHOHO. hey hi ily. this is, of course, one of odo’s deepest ongoing battles, and the moment he stops questioning it is the moment he becomes a founder.

the founders grant themselves god status.  GOD!  status. they just reach out and pluck it. Within their range of power, the founders become unquestionably Just and Virtuous and Moral, their Word becomes Law, it becomes “the way things are” and “fact” and they create their own reality stemming from thousands of years of intense xenophobia. they’re above it all. gods don’t make mistakes, right? sure, maybe changelings were hunted and feared ages ago but they still fear it, and that drive for Order and Control over the galaxy is now encoded into their genes and they place a companion structure into the genes of every other species they control, subjugating them to the founders’ own cozy position as Gods, or-- ‘gods’. the founder (i rly don’t like saying “female” founder so she’s THE Founder. she speaks for the link.) makes it quite clear on many occasions that the founders are not here to negotiate. they fully intend to control EVERYTHING at any cost. it is absolutely  chilling  when she cuts garak down with: “they’re dead. you’re dead. cardassia is dead.” and draws the line between the dominion and everyone else miles deep into the sand.

that same genetic coding is one of the first semi-concrete things odo comes to understand about himself and, horribly, he’s landed into conditions under the occupation that very easily could have taken advantage of a less meticulous or stubborn changeling. no, odo says initially (and incorrectly), i am not bajoran** and i am not cardassian and i stand apart from either side of this conflict and so i am bound to PURE Virtue and Morality because of it. he can’t be bribed or bought or won over, and he won’t allow for anything less than a kind of incorruptibility. this effectively wins him allies (and enemies) on both sides, however -- that’s just not how the universe works. the truth of it is that no matter how much he tells himself he is not a part of their regime, his working with the cardassians makes him a collaborator in that he has then recognized their authority and ultimately upheld their legitimacy, even if he never agreed with the cause, even if he was also on some level a casualty of it. at some point when he moves past ‘contract’ investigation and begins to work permanently, he falls into the trap of thinking Order is the same thing as Justice... huge yikes. in that moment he becomes a true and apathetic villain, but he’s subsequently haunted by the resulting execution of innocents. it shakes something up in him. years pass and he still wonders, what other mistakes has he made? what other less direct consequences of his ‘neutral’ arbitration exist? he (and everyone around him) has to live without really knowing, and it’s a constant reminder to him of the power he holds and it informs his understanding of what Real (and imperfect) Justice Means.

**sidenote but later in s7 he introduces himself as ‘from bajor’ and AAAAAA. its good. very good. yeah, you’re bajoran, odo. he gets it now.

Mirror odo is really the ultimate example of an odo having taken those instincts to extremes in an environment that rewarded him for them -- there is no guilt there, and even a sadistic kind of pleasure in it. i’d argue that gaia!odo is another, less extreme example of an odo who’s been alone too long and lost sight of things when he single-mindedly (and against kira’s wishes) chooses her (one person) over 8000. like holy shit? NOT ok? uhhuhhhhfff. anyway. very fortunately, neither of these are OUR odo, but act as great foils to reflect on the worst (bastard cop) qualities or potential qualities of our goo pushed to highly visible extremes, which star trek just loves to do all the time.

but regular/prime odo isnt exactly a rule-follower, either. throughout his life, he frequently takes things into his own hands, uses his abilities to his advantage, spies, wiretaps, eavesdrops, and yes, harasses [quark] sometimes -- he develops his own set of values and personal rules and follows them; even starfleet comes in wary of him and how he operates and hes on thin ice. but because of possibly his most redeeming quality, odo is able to adapt those self-ordained values toward something increasingly honest: for how rigid he can be in personality, he is HIGHLY influenced by the world around him,  listens hard  to what his friends and allies have to say and adapts that feedback; this allows him to evolve and grow and take important matters to heart. he becomes more flexible and better able to hold onto what’s really most important after locking into a decision, because above all else, he is passionately committed to doing the Right Thing. he PLEADS with himself in things past, “your job is to find the truth, not obtain convictions.” by his tendency to push back against what is laid down as ‘law’ (something he becomes more and more aware of and effective at doing) as not always being good or right, or necessarily even creating Order (the thing he’s driven genetically to want), he prepares himself to challenge the most deadly voice of authority -- that of his own people.

so... yes and no. odo’s role and persona as ‘your average security chief’ might dictate that he be virtuous and moral, but he so obviously can’t fit the same exact mold as others in his position -- he has these insane abilities and this mind-consuming nature and it requires he tread with extra care, but he also has a potential for more adaptive, more nuanced morality. he has to build up his own definitions to the words, constantly examine and tease and test them, or else he risks straying too far from what he really wants to achieve -- harmony, honest justice. he has to accept that he’s a part of the system he operates in (not, in fact, alone or isolated! something he actually wants), and know that he is not exempt from making the wrong choice, just like anybody else.

carnation: what is your muse’s relationship with their gender? how do they express or not express this relationship?

ODO AND GENDER!!! i love odo and gender. let’s take this one step at a time. he starts out as an amorphous glob -- he has no gender. there’s no basis for assignment, no culture of difference, and all the goos are goo. odo takes on the shape of the first living thing he sees / the thing he sees most frequently: dr mora. he adopts an image of masculinity from mora and he adopts the hair. that’s about it, and it’s pretty much arbitrary. (maybe the hair is simple enough for his skills, too?) the next people odo meets are also these very masculine, military, cardassian leaders, so again -- this is all he knows! this is neutrality. i imagine it takes him some time to work out what the differences in gender are, and sex, and orientation, romantic vs sexual stuff, all of that. it’s all got cultural baggage he knows nothing about and does not experience, and he’s also dealing with multiple, clashing cultures to boot. since he doesnt have any strong inherent leaning, he simply opts out. he/him becomes his default because thats where he started, thats what he’s been able to successfully present and how people know him, and, terrifyingly, under cardassian rule, it probably offered a bit of safety, too, which was obviously something he needed at the time.

way way way way way down the line in season seven, odo asks kira to (paraphrasing) look at me. what do you see? [i see you.] but this is NOT me, this is only a shape ive assumed in order to fit in. she says, yes, i know that. but this is who you have chosen to be. “a man. a good and honest man.” (i knowww shes not really talking abt gender here BUT) its hard as a trans person not to read the metaphor. he’s chosen to express SOMETHING. he’s chosen something other than what he was given (neutrality) and although he doesnt personally buy into what ‘masculinity’ “should be” (ie the ferengi, smh) / would certainly not argue he doesnt feel non-binary, this is how he has presented all his life, its how hes been treated, and it is what he has chosen to adhere to. there’s a choice in that, kira’s right, and now it reflects something about him.

parallel this, i’ll mention the “female” founder again bc of course there is no discernable reason for her to have a gender -- other than to appeal (im not talking sexually here although there’s,, obviously weird shit happening with the link... yike) to odo in the sense that until that point odo has lived with “gendered” individuals and, i think importantly, kira is with them when they first meet. i think its safe to say the founder saw her, figured she was a friend/ally to odo or at least familiar to him, and took her general representation to appeal as a friend/ally.

otherwise... why, honestly? the founder’s got NO love of humanoids lmao why would she bother.

anyway i’d like to see odo experiment a bit. because when hes safe, he can!! aside from his own doubts and insecurities about shapeshifting, at some point he really has no reason not to, at least a little bit. really, it should just be another thing to practice, much like becoming a convincing rock or a leaf, its just that there are other significances in the cultures around him. i’d just like to see him loosen up a little. have fun. grow ur hair out a bit, odo, why are u still looking like ur terrible dad.

[2jaeh]

Cigarette - csy

[ cigarette - offonoff prompt #16 ]

- Seungyoun is in a troubled relationship until he meets his neighbor who is willing to bring back a part of himself. -

 ANGST ; FLUFF

I would I would be your light and I would I would shine you brighter Oh I wish I be your last Smoke up a glimpse of heaven

You heard  a crash for the third time on this summer night, your neighbors slipping into their usual arguments. Groaning, you turned up the volume on your earphones and tried to continue sketching the vase of flowers you had been working on for hours now.

Every night since you had moved into this apartment block a few months ago, your neighbors would be quarreling over God knows what. They were a young couple who you'd seen only once when you were taking the trash out one night.

You remember the look on both of their faces when you stepped outside. It seemed that they were in the middle of another argument but the disheveled guy sent you a sweet smile while his girlfriend scowled and pulled him back into the apartment building.

You wondered why were they together if all they ever did was fight. How could you end up hating someone you once fell in love with ?

Shaking your head you returned back to your sketch and nodded your head to the beat, finally feeling a sense of comfort when your favorite artist sang out his sweet words.

"Get out!" You heard her scream followed by their balcony door sliding open and slammed shut.

You were not one for meddling in other people's business, but you felt an urgency to check if whoever was out there was okay, and not planning to do anything risky.

Slipping your phone into your back pocket you made your way to your balcony and sure enough your neighbor was there, leaning over the railing exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

His black hair fell over his face as he took another drag from his cigarette and stretched his arms above his head, exposing a tattooed gun on his side.

"Uhm is everything okay ?" You managed to say unsure if it was loud enough for him to hear.

He turned to face you and the similar smile he had given you before graced his face despite his tired eyes.

"Im sorry about that, you weren't sleeping were you ?" He scratched the back of his head.

"I was drawing actually and I got a bit afraid when I heard someone come out to the balcony" you chuckled shyly.

He took another pull of his cigarette and flicked it over the railing.

"H-hey that's dangerous" Your eyes widened and peered over the railing hoping nobody was walking around at this time.

The boy chuckled and raised his hands in defense.

"It's a force of habit and my mind is not all that together right now"

"If a stray cat eats it I hope you know it's all your fault"

"whoa that got deep" He giggled and held out his hand, " Im Cho Seungyoun."

You took his hand in yours and his cold slender fingers caressed yours, making you pull away and immediately felt flustered.

"Oh im y/n" You pressed your lips together and stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jacket.

Seungyoun stared at you, studying your reaction to him before you both heard a noise emitting from his apartment.

"I have to go. Sorry about the noise it was nice meeting you" he nodded as the bright smile disappeared from his face and retreated into his apartment.

You had no idea why you sympathized with him not knowing their story, not knowing how he probably had a different persona which was now hidden by the ups and downs of a toxic relationship.

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Seungyoun sat in the campus studio wrapping up his segment on their fairly popular radio show. Even though he had his notes  and handled the show pretty well, it was evident that his mind was elsewhere.

He thought back to the little exchange that happened on his balcony just over two weeks ago.   It was brief, but he had not felt a sense of calmness like that in a long time. The way she freaked out about the cigarette bud or the fact that she was worried about the severity of his fight that she checked up on him without even knowing who he was.

"okay everybody this last one's called Breathe by Lauv, not sure why it's been stuck in my head all day but I think it's a good track to kick off the weekend" he spoke into the mic, switching on the song and began packing up.

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You removed your earphones and frowned as you heard a now familiar voice blare out of the lecture room speakers and one of your favorite songs filled the entire room.

'did he hear the music coming from my apartment ?' you furrowed your brows and slumped into your chair. For the past week in order to get you through a project you played your music out loud in order to drown out the neighbors and get yourself focused.

You shook your head getting rid of any speculations involving Seungyoun knowing he obviously had his plate full with his own issues to even bother about someone he had met for a few minutes one night.

You plugged in your earphones and made your way downtown to meet a friend at your favorite indie street.

"Yohan!" You waved as the tall dark haired boy handed you an iced latte.

"record store ?" Yohan pointed over to one of your frequent spots and you nodded happily as the two of you made your way over.

The record store was fairly empty as usual so the owner allowed you to play whatever you liked on the jukebox while you browsed through the store.

You chose an upbeat song by Hyukoh and danced around crazily with Yohan as you two discussed the humorous covers of early 80s albums.

The doorbell of the store snapped the two of you out of your teasing session and you realized Seungyoun had walked through the front door.

"Hey y/n" he smiled sweetly surprised to find you in one of his frequent spots and approached the two of you. He looked so much better up close and relaxed. You could finally see life in his eyes as he grinned from ear to ear and you had to admit that it made you happy that he was happy.

"Oh hey Seungyoun, I didn't know you visited this area" You replied as Yohan cleared his throat next to you, making it known that he felt left out.

"This is my friend Yohan and Yohan this is my neighbor Seungyoun" you added.

"The noisy one ?" Yohan asked and you responded by nudging him in his side

"ow!" he whined before catching the hint.  

"Yes Im the noisy neighbor" Seungyoun sighed his eyes drifting to yours and bit down on his lip

"Do you want to hang out ? I kinda owe you for being the only one to check up on me."

You looked up at Yohan who you know was more than happy to leave you since he was probably going on a date later on.

"Yes you may take the annoying one out, I have stuff to do" Yohan teased and ruffled your hair before making his way out of the store.

You muttered a curse word under your breath and neatened your hair when you suddenly felt another hand moving the strands away from your face. Seungyoun pulled his hand away when he realized his actions had startled you both and gestured for you to lead the way out of the store.

He had no idea why he did that. He didn't know how to act around her. Why was he intrigued ? Why was he comfortable around a stranger ?

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The two of you talked about your majors and you learned that Seungyoun was studying music which was a job you always admired. Even though you had a passion for music your love for art overpowered and since you happened to have a talent in it,  it was the one that stuck.

Once you reached your apartment block you noticed Seungyoun go quiet for a while and you assumed this was now the end of your session with him.

"Do you want to hang out at my place ? I can order us food" He finally said facing you. His eyes were eager and although he knew how bold the question was, he was hoping for a positive outcome.

"Will your girlfriend be okay with it ?" You said in a low voice.

"We parted ways a few days ago and this is my apartment, so she doesn't really have anything here" He explained as the distasteful emotions began making its way back.

"Well sure we can hang" You smiled brightly and watched as his eyes lit up like a kid.

Seungyoun led you into his apartment and you marveled at the stack of records he had laying around as well as interesting album art he had up on his walls. It seemed warm and inviting, unlike the arguments that bounced off its frame every night.

Seungyoun cleared a spot on the floor in front of the coffee table and brought over a bottle of soju and two shot glasses.

"I'll order fried chicken is that okay ?" he quirked his brow taking a seat and opened up the delivery app.

"Chicken sounds good" you gave him a thumbs up as he chuckled at your corny gesture and placed the order.

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Time became non existent as Seungyoun listened carefully to you explaining the meanings behind the artwork of his favorite albums. He paid attention to the details, making sure to ask questions in order to see the passion that radiated from your eyes as you spoke. It made him feel as if you two were meant to cross paths.

That night you had come to the rescue he was in debate on whether he should pack up his life here and just move to another city. It will fix everything he thought. Him and Yuna can start fresh and maybe rekindle whatever was left of their sour relationship.

But for once he felt as if his home was actually his home. It felt warm and sentimental. It didn't remind him about the endless fights about him quitting his music to get a real job, or to be like the next perfect guy Yuna had met at med school - it reminded him of himself and it will now remind him of you.

"Thank you y/n" He whispered, throwing his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"for ?" You quizzed, watching a small grin spread across his face.

"Just allowing me to be myself again"

"I want to thank you too" You sighed and mimicked his position.

"me ?" he frowned and looked over in confusion.

"Yeah well nobody really listens to me or lets me talk about what im actually interested in so this was really refreshing for me, so thank you Seungyoun" You mused and nudged him playfully.

The two of you basked in each others company in silence not needing a conversation in order to feel comfortable until you fell asleep - probably the most blissful sleep both of you had in months.