#chicago food porn

[fatty-food]

Chicago pizza (via Instagram)

[lustingfood]

Chicago Deep Dish (x)

[eatallthecalories]

[thatssocheezy]

Some More Sus Chicago Pizza

Steven sent me this shot of some pies he got when he was in Chicago....I think they way they are sliced with tell you more than you need to know....

[ultradude13]

Which style of pizza is your favorite?

[brian4rmthe6]

[icleanedthisplate]

Apolonia ‘Classics’ Tasting Menu (Yellowtail Crudo, Roasted Mussel Toast, Fiorentini al Sugo, Mediterranean Branzino, The Pistachio). Apolonia. Chicago, Illinois. 10.1.2023.

NOTE TO SELF: The crudo and the pistachio ice cream are worth coming back for, but none of the other dishes did much for me. That black pepper gastrique gave the tune a dynamic flavor and the slice of grape made it refreshing. I could have eaten it for hours. The chili butter on the toast had a nice flavor, but the toast had the texture of stale bread. The pasta was decent, but I have a low ceiling for pasta right now. The fish itself was good, but marinated olives, dill, and fennel is not a flavor profile I'm into. The ice cream and the little vanilla cake it rode in on are a contender for best dessert of the year.

Currently the only October meal I've had.

[lifeofloon]

Always love some Rance's Chicago Pizza! And to get the LB food scene week deal, makes it even better.

Stuffed crust deep dish is the way to go here, and being a deep dish fan, it's consistently the best I've had in the region. The house salad was refreshing and the newly returned bacon artichoke dip is a sinful pleasure. What a great way to spend a leisurely lunch.

[the-lost-get-loud]

[answer2jeff]

' treat me tonight '

a/n: this is (debatably) some of the best smut i've ever written but i'm still new to the field ! give ya girl some suggestions if desired.

song : i know we could be so happy baby.

warnings : fluffy smut, fem!reader, oral (fem receiving), piv sex (unprotected), both reader and carmen have a bit of a praise kink, brief hairpulling, the "L-word," established relationship, gets a little rough towards the end, back scratching, porn with no real plot. not proofread

word count: 2.6k+

MDNI : i am not responsible for your media consumption.

NSFW under the cut — last warning!

"Try it," Carmen cupped your jaw as he lifted the wooden spoonful of creamy, tomato soup to your mouth, thumbing your bottom lip gently so you could carefully swallow every last bit. He enjoyed feeding you, if he was being totally honest. Even if this had been upon your request. Making his girl happy with what he did best was nothing short of a blessing to him.

"Mmm," you hummed in amusement, swallowing before smiling contently and nodding your head. "'S great, Carmy. Fuckin' delicious."

Long days at work dealing with insensitive clientele and immature coworkers seemed to be so easily remedied by Carmen's cooking. You weren't sure if it was because it was him catering to you and loving you the one way he always knew how, or if the food was just that fucking amazing. Maybe a little bit if both.

"Yeah? Alright," he chuckled a bit, grabbing the ladle beside the pot and scooping the simple, yet beautifully crafted tomato soup into a ceramic bowl. He seemed to know exactly how you liked it, despite him asking you if you enjoyed it every. single. time.

You accepted the bowl with a sickly sweet smile on your face, giving Carmen a kiss on his clean shaven cheek to thank him for his gesture before hoisting yourself up onto the kitchen counter. Carmen just stood with his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned against the dining table, candidly watching you enjoy the warm bowl of soup

"So," you slurped some of the soup as you paused, "I'm thinkin' of giving Syd that top we found the other day."

Thrifting had become of recent liking to you anD Carmen. Just shopping and mooching around Chicago in search of vintage pieces. Mostly to actually wear, but partly to collect or regift to fellow friends. Last time you two had a day off, you found a beautiful vintage button down. A white base with downward blue stripes with a finely stitched breast pocket containing a 'V' pattern. The cuffs were cinched perfectly. It was a little baggy, too, which you knew Sydney would love.

"Ooh, yeah. I, uh, I really liked that. I think she'd really love it," Carmen nodded, "You gonna get 'er somethin' else with it? Like, to pair with it? Or just the shirt?"

"I was gonna ask you to help me with that, actually," you pointed a finger to Carmen, turning away for just a moment to gently place the empty bowl and spoon into the kitchen sink.

Carmen always thought you had a good eye for other people's tastes. Not just in fashion. The world seemed unpredictable to Carmy. But you made it look so easy, so loving to just know what people wanted. He always wished he had that kind of understanding for people. But for now, he'd admire such a trait you had.

"Hm?"

"I remember she mentioned something about having all these cool tops n' jackets and such, but, like—hardly any nice pants other than those fuckin' jeans she loves."

"Mhm," he stepped closer to you and planted his hands on your shoulders. But you soon reached for them and planted them on your hips, earning a little upward curl of his lip.

"I know you loved those nice jeans like they were your babies 'till you had to sell them," you frowned, entangling your fingers in his messy, blonde curls while your other hand rested on the back of his neck.

"Fuck, I know. Really wish I didn't have to," he tried to let out a breathy laugh to compensate for the genuine disappointment.

Fuck, did he love those pants. Pants were the one piece of fashion Carmen didn't have to second guess himself on. From jeans to slacks, he knew how to pair every possible fabric. And he never knew how to flatter the upper half of his body, so he always wore those dammed white t-shirts.

Not that you were complaining.

Especially right now, the t-shirt highlighting his broad shoulders and exposing his thick arms plastered with sentimental tattoos you always loved. You began to run your hands up and down the exposed skin. He glanced down at your patterned touch, flattered.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, I need you to help me look for a nice pair of jeans for Sydney. Can y'do that for me, hun?"

Carmen nodded rapidly, his eyes drifting from your lips and back into your eyes. His thumbs rubbed intricate little circles of adoration into your thighs.

"Yeah, baby," he smiled. "This weekend, maybe? I can take a couple hours," tilting his head, he held your chin to pull your face just inches away from his own. Something about your tendencies to make the ones you loved happy with little surprises just warmed him.

"Mhm. That works," you sighed, planting a soft kiss on his lips before wrapping your arms around his neck.

Carmens immediate suggestion just struck something in you. Months ago, he would've thrown excuse after excuse (although valid) as to when he couldn't be available, but never when he could. You felt proud of him.

"You're so good to me, Carmen."

"Yeah?"

He was learning. He was loving.

"Mhm," you barred your bottom lip behind your teeth, giving Carmen's arms a squeeze. He exhaled sharply and wondered where this could've been going.

You drove him a little crazier than he ever liked to admit. A delicate hand reached away from your hip and up to your face. He thumbed your bottom lip, the reflection of the kitchen light shining against your mouth that was glossy with a mix of both of your salivas. Carmen gazed at you in awe, a little embarrassed when he realized how long he'd been staring.

"I—" he shrugged, struggling to find the words, "I'd do it all for you, baby."

Whispering back as he began to cave in, he leaned into your neck and placing an opened mouth kiss on the skin. The smell of your perfume and the natural scent of your body was so familiar to him. It distracted him enough to let his hands roam up and down your torso before repeating that same motion on your thighs.

"Want you t.." you swallowed, your eyes shutting harshly when when he sucked a bruising hickey onto your skin.

"Want me to what, sweet girl?" Carmen mumbled, the butterflies in your stomach raging when his teeth grazed against the spot. You gently anchored your hand into his hair and pulled him away from your neck so you could see him again.

"Want you to treat me tonight," you whispered as your hands travled up to his shoulders.

He wished you could be more specific. But with your pretty eyes, your kiss-swollen lips, your thighs spread against the cold marble counter as they spilled out of your cotton shorts, how could he tease you any longer?

"That I can do."

—

Carmens body seemed to loosen up and relax as his rough hand slid down lower on your back to grab at the waistband of your shorts. You practically melted to his touch. He kissed you again, smiling against your lips as you giggled into the kiss once he slid your shorts down to your ankles. You nodded when he pulled away, ensuring him that he was on the right track.

"Need you t'spread, baby," his hand pried between your soft thighs.

"O—okay," You bit the inside of your cheek as you slowly spread your legs apart. The wet spot of arousal in the middle of your panties was completely in view now. Feeling Carmen's eyes drifting downward, you accidentally drew your knees closer together again.

"Hey," Carmen whispered while he looked into your eyes for an answer, despite your gaze being glued to the floor.

"You okay? We don't have to do thi—"

"No, no," you shook your head, "I want to. Just..not used to it. That's all."

It was true. You'd only tried oral about twice. And it went great, you couldn't deny. But you still struggled to literally open yourself up to him. You just needed a little encouragement.

"You don't have to hide, baby. You look—you are beautiful," he kissed your forehead, "so, so beautiful. Okay?"

Finally feeling some reassurance, you tried again. You spread your legs once again and let Carmen peel your soaked panties down your legs to where your shorts had been. He gave you one last look to see if you were ready, to which you happily nodded.

In the sweetest gesture, Carmen removed his own t-shirt so you wouldn't be alone. He unbuttoned his jeans and tossed them somewhere near the dining table, being left in just his boxers that outlined his slowly hardening cock.

"Thank you," you chuckled.

"Of course."

Carmen began trailing kisses from your neck down to your shoulder blade. His hands gently lifted your tank top over your head before cupping one of your breasts, his fingertips playing with your hard nipple as he kissed you one last time. He sank down to his knees, hooking your calves over his shoulders. You scooted a little closer to the edge of the counter to give him the best access to your throbbing cunt.

"Yep. Right here, baby."

He had you exactly where he wanted you.

You finally looked down at him after avoiding direct eye contact for the past few minutes. His blue eyes fully encapsulated you. He looked gorgeous between your thighs. Especially when he sucked little hickeys that wouldn't actually last against your inner thighs that made you squirm.

"You look pretty like this, bear," your hand reached to brush a loose curl out of his face. The flush that colored his pale cheeks was cute.

"You think so?" Carmen grinned. He relished in the feeling of having such gentle yet everlasting control. In his own kitchen, his beautiful girl in his hands, her thighs around his head, fully willing and wanting to let him take every part of her he could ever imagine.

You were nothing short of perfect to him.

Not wanting to waste any more time, and without preamble, he licked a bold stripe from your entrance to your swollen clit. Your breath hitched in your throat when his grip on your thighs tightened. He started to create a sense of rhythm, roughly sucking on the sensitive mound of nerve endings before soothing it with kitten licks and flat-tongued strides.

Your hand tugged at a handful of his curls. He groaned at the sensation, swirling his tongue around you to feel every fucking inch of your pussy.

"Fuck, Carmy..."

"You got the prettiest pussy, baby. So good and wet for me," he mumbled against you, his eyes still remaining closed. He needed to focus, or else he might fall apart at the sight of pure, filthy pleasure on your pretty face.

"Shut up—" you protested.

Your thighs began to shake as your head reeled back. Carmen hesitated for a moment, wiggling his fingers around anxiously before pulling his mouth away from your vulva and ever so carefully slipping in 2 large fingers.

A long, drawn out moan escaped your mouth the moment he curled his fingers upward into your g-spot. The idea of staying quiet was out of the fucking question. Oh, and now that Carmen's tongue was back on you? Forget it.

"Oh my fucking g—fuck!" you smacked your hand over your mouth, your other hand still entangled in your lovers hair. Pulling and tugging and earning the sexiest groans you'd ever heard in your life.

The sound of your voice slowly raising in pitch was enough for Carmen to change his pace. He inched himself even closer, and at an otherworldly speed flicked his tongue repeatedly against your clit. Over. And over. And over again. But his fingers slowed down to avoid overstimulating you. He needed this to last. Blissfully.

The knot in your stomach that indicated your teeter against your orgasm taunted you.

"Carm, I'm—" you took a short breath moaning incohereant babbles along the lines of 'so fuckin' good, just like that, baby' until you blurted, "I'm probably not gonna last any longer..'S too much."

You'd grown so desperate to cum that your hips ground back and forth, the tip of Carmens tongue perfectly brushing against your sensitive clit while he used the hand that was once fucking you to squeeze the fat of your breast. With his other hand, he reached down to palm his throbbing cock through the thin fabric of his boxers. He pulled his erection out from the cloth and stroked himself slowly, the final moan of "fuck," shortly followed by your name before he harshly sucked on your clit once more, was enough to throw you over the edge.

"Oh, fuck, Carmy!"

After the last couple minutes of him practically making out with your pussy, your body finally allowed itself to release, your legs shaking vigourisly as you tried desparately to catch your breath. You could literally feel a pulse-like sensation on your clit from the orgasm.

It was dirty, filthy; cumming on Carmen's pretty face right on top of his kitchen counter.

But fuck, was it hot.

—

"You think you got another one left in there for me, baby?" Carmen cooed, wrapping your legs around his hips and drawing you in so close that your breasts were pressed against his bare chest. He peppered kisses along your jaw until he resided on your lips, his tongue slipping in to create a sloppy, passionate mess of a kiss.

His clothed hard-on pressed against your clit, which was nearly fully recovered, lacking the overwhelming sensitivity it had just a couple minutes ago.

"Maybe you should find out," you teased against his ear, nipping at the skin of his neck right underneath. You gently pressed your hand against his chest, backing him up just the slightest bit so you could slip his pre-cum soaked boxers with ease.

Without another thought, Carmen carefully lined himself up with your pussy. The head of his dick passed between your folds to build anticipation. Your hands gripped his shoulders, slippery with sweat, once he finally began to push his raw cock into your hole, your arousal serving as a perfect lubricant.

"Fuck," he rasped as he watched his cock disappear into your pussy in awe "so fuckin' tight for me. So pretty n' perfect."

The two of you hardly waited to allow every thrust and slap of skin against skin get messy and rough. With Carmen desperately needing to cum and you anxiously needing to feel him inside of you, there wasn't much consideration for a slow fuck.

"Fuck me, Carmen."

With that, Carmen dug his hands into your hips and pulled several inches out of you before slamming back in. You somehow moaned louder every time. His face contorted to pure, ravenous pleasure and lust as moan and groan after groan writhed from his throat. Your nails clawed at his back, earning a "shit," and his teeth sinking into your shoulder as you ground back and forth against him to achieve the perfect thrusting angle.

"I love you," he whimpered, fucking whimpered his adoration for you. He was completely pussy drunk, his thrusts turning fast and short unlike they were when they started out.

Those words made your heart pound in your head. Sure, you'd exchanged 'I love you's' during the last year or so of your relationship, but you couldn't recall a time it was said during rough-kitchen-counter-sex.

"I love you so fuckin' much, Carm," you sobbed in a fit of utter horniness and overwhelming sense of pleasure, feeling Carmen's thick cock and squeezing your warm, gummy walls around him.

"I'm gonna cum, angel, I—"

"I know, baby. Go ahead. W-want you to fill me up."

Almost as if the universe had been working specifically in your favor, you managed to reach your orgasm just seconds before he did. Every drop of your arousal went down his thigh, while his cum perfectly filled up your cunt. He pulled out slowly watching the white and sticky semen drip down your hole.

"Was that your idea of me 'treating you' tonight?"

[thecapricunt1616]

Patchouli - (C.B. oneshot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): Carmen would stumble in - long after you’d fallen asleep, albeit cursing himself for not being home earlier before you’d fallen asleep to your true crime shows, so you’d kneel at his feet as you usually did, and untie his sneakers for him, before gently coaxing him out of the shoes like the earth-ridden angel you were since his back was fucking aching after his near 16 hour day. He would silently slink into the bathroom, take a quick shower - just enough to scrub off the dirt, sweat, and kitchen smell from the day. Before he’d carefully pad to bed and do whatever he could to assure you felt oh so good to start off your solo-weekend together.

♡ Summary: carm is a munch. What else do you need to know?

♡ W/C: 1300

♡ Posted Date: 4/20/24 (blaze it)

♡ A/N: pure porn lol (prequel to Peonies)

♡ Warnings for BTC: smut. Pussy eating ass smut. this is fully unedited because I’m a lazy sack of shit we die like men.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

Carmy was nothing short of addicted to the taste of your pussy.

Like - he nearly found it embarrassing for Christ’s sake. He would get hard thinking about it, Jesus, his fucking mouth watered.

He’d tried the best food in the whole world- the most talented chefs would nearly beg for him to taste their art - but nothing was more decadent than your homemade liquor on his tongue.

He worked extra late on Friday evenings, since it was the busiest night at the restaurant. Date nights, birthday celebrations, any celebration- really that was big enough to warrant going to one of the only Michelin star restaurants in Chicago usually happened Fridays.

Carmen would stumble in - long after you’d fallen asleep, albeit cursing himself for not being home earlier before you’d fallen asleep to your true crime shows, so you’d kneel at his feet as you usually did, and untie his sneakers for him, before gently coaxing him out of the shoes like the earth-ridden angel you were since his back was fucking aching after his near 16 hour day.

He would silently slink into the bathroom, take a quick shower - just enough to scrub off the dirt, sweat, and kitchen smell from the day. Before he’d carefully pad to bed and do whatever he could to assure you felt oh so good to start off your solo-weekend together.

Carmy would come into the bedroom, damp, dripping curls from his shower, and ever so gently crawl between your sleeping supple, thick thighs. He felt welcome. As if you were asking him- no. Begging him- to devour your sweet silky luscious heat as soon as he’d got through the door.

This was coming home, at least to him- his true home was between your thighs, sucking and lapping at your folds until the both of you were sore. When you’d whine about it in the morning, he’d kindly make up for it and place the gentlest, most filthy kisses to your mound and nether lips, whispering sweet sorrys to your cunt and ‘promising to be gentler with her next time’ - he never was.

He hummed gently, dragging his heavy, knife calloused fingers over your clit. Your hips inadvertently jerked into his hand, it was only natural.

There would be times he would just simply lay there after an orgasm of yours, in a filthy, horny trance, thrusting his expert fingers oh so carefully into your seeping (embarrassingly wet) and over sensitive hole - slow and light due to the muscle being so so overused, almost achingly so - before taking them out and spreading the digits to see how sticky and messy you were.

“mmm someone was playin’ with herself before I got home?” He said, just barely a whisper.

He pressed his lips to yours, before gently taking the right one into his mouth and sucking the overly sensitive flesh between his lips. His tattooed hands gently rub over your thighs, squeezing the skin, hard enough to leave bruises, and his eyes fluttering shut, every stress of the day melting away. It was as if the man had an oral fucking fixation with your clit, with your folds. The way he’d suck and flick and kiss them - it was like he was playing a goddamn game.

He eagerly spread your lips with his ring and middle finger admiring how wet you were. “Absolutely - how dirty mmm? My filthy little girl” he he whispered, tonguing the wetness over your weeping hole and holding back a moan at your sweet, musky flavor.

Carmy relished in the way your core clenched around nothing, and the sweetest most gentle whimper fell from your lips. “Shhhh” he cooed, placing a kiss to your clit that made your thigh twitch

“I’m takin care’f ya’ - don’worry” he said softly, licking a hot wet stripe from the curve of your ass to the very top of your slit, flicking his tongue over your clit in the way that made you shiver.

Even in your sleep, you widened your legs for him to give better access to the delicious sensation that was lapping up the moisture that was starting to drip and tickle. It wasn’t long until you were roused, a small sleepy smirk coming to your lips.

“Mmmm thanks Bear” you muttered, lazily finding his curls and gently pushing them off his forehead. He reached his hand up to your stomach, palm up to you, lightly wiggling his fingers on your flesh. Allthough you refused to open your eyes, you felt the action and knew what he wanted.

You found his hand easily, lacing your fingers together and pulling his hand to your lips, kissing each knuckle as he kissed and sucked your folds. As he nudged your clit with his nose you gasped lightly, looking down at him in the dim light.

“Yes- like that baby- feels good, work ok lovey?” You gently tug his curls and he looked up at you, lustblown eyes and a wet nose he looked like a puppy this way.

“Mm. Ok. Marcus f’got a huge cake order. Kinda’a mess” he muttered before sticking out his tongue, slack jawed and adorable, slobbering over your pussy like a man starved.

You nearly giggled at the action but couldn’t as a moan passed your lips you couldn’t hold in if you tried. “Such a good puppy” you moaned quietly “so good t’me Carmy, I fuckin love you” you gasped, thighs nearly smushing his cheeks as he nipped at the sensitive flesh

“That’s new” he hummed, kissing your clit as he reached down with his other hand and slipped 2 fingers easily in your dripping entrance. Your back arched off the bed, electricity shooting through your thighs and abdomen, core clenching around his fingers, nearly sucking him in.

“Cus’y so good bear. Such a good boy” you praised, gasping as he starts flicking his tongue over your clit “shhh-ahh! Mmm! Thas’it. Thaaaatsit” you slurred, the coil in your stomach heating up and threatening to snap- and soon.

He moans into your clit, the vibration causing your hips to jerk and he leans his strong forearm around your luscious hips. “Still” he mumbled the order, thrusting his tongue into your hole.

“Jesus fuck! Don’t fuckin st- ohhhh” you let out nothing short out of a pornographic film like wanton desperate filthy moan

“Cmon, cum f’me pretty girl” he urged gently, replacing his tongue with his fingers and nuzzling your clit with his nose like a man starved as he sucked and nibbled your folds.

You whined, squeezing the hand you were still holding tightly. “N-now-nnnmmmmhhh” your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami, the aftershock being the strongest part. His lightest touch was causing you to jerk and twitch under him at the overstimulation.

“Shhhh angel. Relax. Relax” he coaxed, rubbing over your stomach with a light touch. “Such a sweet girl. My sweet girl” he caressed your thighs with a sweet touch for a few minutes, pressing gentle kisses to your skin before getting up.

You’d inevitably whine and beg him to come back, your core feeling cold and neglected without his presence. “Time f’sleep gorgeous.” He’d gently pet your hair, pulling you into his chest.

“I want French toast for breakfast.” You muttered softly, nuzzling into his chest, smiling to yourself at his tickly chest fuzz.

“Ye?’ We got bacon too, went shoppin’ fore I came home” he muttered into the skin of your neck tiredly.

Now that he’d fulfilled his daylong craving- he was exhausted and ready to sleep as soon as he could.

“The best boyfriend. Can I wake you up t’morrow with my mouth?” You asked, gently rubbing your hand over his half hard bulge.

“Please. Y’never gotta ask princess”

Fin

[fatty-food]

Chicago style deep dish pizza (via Instagram)

[fastboatsmojito]

I’m poison either way - 18+ ☾⋆｡✩

Chef Luca x Fem! Reader one-shot

|AN: long ass list of cws MY FAULT it gets intense, obviously inspired by ‘imgonnagetyouback’ by TS. Lost my mind one million times while writing this. Enjoy <33 also thinking about making this a series so we can see him being your boss if anyone wants that 🫶🏼

|WC: 5.9k

|CW: Smut BTC!!! Some Angst, Exes to Lovers but worse freakier, Friends with benefits relationship with Carm mentioned, Porn With a lot of Plot, Eventual nasty dirty filthy smut, Luca gets kinda mean, almost public? fingering, orgasm denial - just momentarily, oral (fem receiving), mentions of past relationships, a splash of drinking, names used -all for reader; slut, bunny, ‘my girl’, etc. some jealousy from Luca and a little accidental Carm Slander SORRY

You hadn’t seen him in over a year. It felt like longer. The memories of nights spent surrounded by each other’s warmth echoing in your head. You missed him, but you cared about him too much to tell him that.

Last time you saw him you were getting on a plane. You didn’t want to leave him but you didn’t have a choice.

You wanted to ask if he’d come with you. He would’ve. You never did, fear of abandonment and rejection covering your rational thinking in a thick, gray, fog.

You left him with a just out of reach promise of forever and five words.

“I love you, I’m sorry.”

—————-

You only left to go back to Chicago for family matters, knowing once you got back you’d get sucked into everything again and have to stay.

Once you got back you met Carm who provided you with a job and soon after, the closest friends you’d ever had.

Over the past few months the lines of your relationship started to blur.

You didn’t mean for it to happen, long nights in the restaurant ending with some stress-relieving back alley make outs, and eventually his office with one of his hands over your mouth while the other was drifting under your apron.

It was a little messy, sure, but It was also fun. Casual. You ignored the pangs of guilt you felt every time he called you ‘my girl’ even if he didn’t mean it.

You might’ve closed your eyes a few times and imagined it was Luca groaning and breathing your name instead, but who was counting.

And now you were going back to Denmark. Well, kind of. You weren’t going back for Luca, though when Syd first suggested it he was all you could think of.

You were going for work, to ‘better yourself and your work’ in the words of Carm.

More likely you were going because they already bought the ticket and Marcus wanted to stay with his mom.

It’s a big enough country, there’s no way you’ll bump into him. Right?

You were both so close. You almost had it- the kind of love people tell stories about. It was all yours, you were the happiest you’d ever been, and then it was gone. You held the weapon that stabbed right through your chest, severing the life of the only real love you ever had.

It didn’t matter anyway, you haven’t spoken since you left. Surely he’s moved on by now, God knows you were pretending you did. Even if he hadn’t, there’s a high chance he hated you. You knew it wasn’t like him to hold a grudge but he had every right to.

As you said goodbye to everyone Carm reassured you that he had no hold over you.

“Y’should have some fun, get out there. Dont hold back.” He muttered, patting your back like he always did as he hugged you.

“Thanks, Carm. See you in a few weeks.”

—————————

You texted Syd as soon as you stepped off the plane, leftover anxiety from the flight still in your stomach mixing with the newfound nostalgia of the city.

:In Denmark! Still just as beautiful as I remember it, maybe even more. Hope you’re having a good one, call me when you get off <3

You walked around the city you still knew like the back of your hand to grab some food before heading to your temporary home. Deciding to exasperate the nostalgia, you went to one of your old favorite brunch spots.

As soon as you walked in you were met with the sweet smells you dreamed about in Chicago. You ordered your old usual and sat down, memories of sitting here with Luca and your shared friends watering your eyes as someone called your name, pulling you out of it.

“Is that you?” A familiar voice called from behind you, turning around to find Mai, one of said shared friends waving at you.

She looked just as cute as she was before you left, coily red hair flowing just over her shoulders. Always adorned in the coolest jacket you’ve ever seen and a bright smile.

“I haven’t seen you in so long!” She exclaimed, walking up to hug you.

“Mai! I missed you.” Her hugs were always the sweetest, her bubbly personality floating off of her and engulfing everyone around her in a warm light.

“I missed you more! How are you? How’s Chicago?” You reluctantly pulled away, order numbers suddenly being called.

“Come sit with me, we can catch up.” You said, grinning as she walked with you to grab your orders before sitting down.

You told her everything. She always had a way of pulling things out of people, compassion and understanding leaking from her pores. You talked about your family, Luca, your new job, your ‘fun!’ thing with Carm, all of it.

“That’s.. intense!” She giggled, grabbing a sip of her coffee.

“In a good way?” You joked with a quirked eyebrow.

“As long as you’re happy.” She replied, grabbing one of your hands with both of her own.

You looked down at that, not sure if you were or weren’t. You had friends, a job you enjoyed, good sex without any attachment, you lived in your favorite city and were currently sitting in the second, but something was missing. Someone was missing.

“Speaking of being happy,” she added, grounding you back out of your head.

“there’s a party downtown tonight, everyone will be there. You should come with me!” You thought for a second, remembering what Carm had said earlier and what you promised yourself. ‘Don’t hold back.’

“Sounds great!”

——————

Mai was meeting you there and the party wasn’t for a few hours so you went to go check out where you’d be staying and get ready.

You double checked the location from Carm once got to the dock, obviously you were staying on a boat. Sick. Once you found the right one you were pleasantly surprised. It was cozy, which was perfect since it was just you.

You accidentally unpacked rather quickly, throwing clothes around as you searched for something to wear to the party. A few distraught moments later you found it.

Thank god you decided against the voice in your head telling you it was ridiculous to pack such a showy dress for a work trip. It was perfect, the little black dress of dreams, comfortable material that fit you just right.

You still had a while until you really had to get ready so you took a nice long shower and tried to organize a bit before starting on your makeup.

You looked incredible and you knew it. You were close to sending a few pictures to Carm but decided against it, instead sending them to Syd, excited to tell her all about your night later.

:attached; 3 photos. Going to a party with an old friend! Detes to come 💓

You grabbed your bag and necessities before texting Mai that you were on the way.

———————

You knew you were at the right place when you found yourself surrounded by a bunch of hot people smoking.

“Over here!” Mai’s soft voice cut through the crowd, waving you towards her and a few others. You grinned as you walked over, greeting her with a hug.

“You look gorgeous, Mai.” You caught up with the everyone else, two of your other old friends, all sharing new important details of your lives as you waited to go inside.

Once you were all in Mai went to grab some drinks as you continued chatting, laughing about something you can’t remember suddenly, hearing an eerily familiar voice from somewhere in the sea of people behind you.

Your stomach dropped, goosebumps forming on your warmed skin. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Hey! Sorry I’m late I spilled somethin’ on my shirt and had to change it real quick-“

He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw you, smile slowly fading, standing in front of the three of you wordless.

Your mouth was dry, lump in the back of your throat forming right along with the water in your eyes just at the sight of him. He stared into you as you did him, quickly blinking to make sure he was real.

“Luca, you came!” Called Mai from behind you. Shots in hand as she walked up to all of you, her hand on your shoulder breaking you out of the trance of eye contact you were stuck in.

“Why’re you guys so quiet? Let’s have some-“ She looked at Luca and then back at you, realization of your earlier conversation just hitting her.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry guys. Is this too weird?” You were looking at the ground, closing your eyes for a second hoping the ground would open and swallow you up.

“No it’s- I mean as long as you’re okay with it,” He gestured towards you, giving you a shy smile when you looked up. “it’s not weird.”

He was being nice. Of course he was being nice. You knew he would, but a part of you wanted him to be mean. To tell you to fuck off and get your own friends, to tell you how shitty you were for leaving.

You nodded and spared the same smile, “All good.”

All good? Jesus, you could hardly believe you were still standing. The sight of him in that tight button-up enough to knock you out even without the skin dissolving pain of remembering what you had.

You shook it off, assuming he wanted to ignore it as much as you did. Mai handed each of you a shot, four glasses clinking together before being downed along with your anxiety.

Mai and the others went off to dance, leaving you and Luca to stand there, awkwardly smiling at each other.

“You look great, y’know.” He nodded to you, hands placed over each other, thumb stroking over the tattooed pepper on his other hand. A nervous habit of his you used to look for, always placing his hands in yours.

You looked up from his hands to give him a real smile this time, “You too.”

Shit.

——————-

The soft low lighting and the sounds of music and people talking over each other filled your senses, Mai dragged you away from the pit in your stomach like she always did to dance with her.

“You okay?” She whisper-yelled in front of you. Her hands were on your shoulders, moving you with her to the music.

“I’m okay.” You nodded, and she tilted her head at you, wordlessly urging you to continue.

“It’s just-“ you sighed before continuing, “I missed him, of course, and I want to talk to him but- this isn’t exactly the place for that. I don’t wanna ruin his night.”

She grabbed your hands and led you back to the table, where Luca was talking with one of your shared his other friends.

She whispered something in his ear, before taking his friend to dance leaving you two alone once again. His arms were crossed as he stood, looking around for something.

Was he leaving? If anything you should be the one leaving, he should be having fun.

“I can leave if you-“ He turned back to you and shook his head, moving to ask for your hand with his own.

“No just- come with me.” You instinctively took his hand as soon as it was out to you, reflexes of forgotten parties he led you to and from etched into your muscle memory.

His hand was warm and steady as always over your smaller, shaky one as he guided you out, leading you out into the quiet of an alley you’re sure you’ve seen before.

He didn’t let go of your hand, standing in front of you with an expression you couldn’t quite place.

“Mai told me you wanted to talk to me, and I thought that was a good idea. Been a while.” You nodded as he spoke, noticing his thumb start mindlessly stroking your thumb like he always did to calm you down.

“Yeah it’s- that’s my fault. I should’ve reached out, I’m sorry. I wanted to but-“

You paused, trying to keep your words coherent as the feeling of his hand still over yours was making the heart in your chest, still engraved with his name, beat faster.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.”

He squeezed your hand at that and gave you an apologetic smile. God. Why did he have to be so nice to you?

“I could’ve called too, y’know. It’s not all your fault, I just wanted you to be happy.”

He squeezed your hand again, three times.

Fuck.

Tears forming in your eyes once again, unable to be held back this time, your voice wavering.

“Luca, I really missed you. I’m so sorry.”

He said your name like he always did when you were crying, full of all the love he had.

He took your other hand in his and pulled you in, covering you in warmth and the comfortingly familiar smell of his cologne as you sobbed into him.

“I missed you too. It’s okay, baby.” He whispered into your hair like a promise. The name slipped out, you were sure he didn’t notice but you did. He was smoothing a hand over your hair as the other held you against him.

You stayed like that for a while, just leaning into him. Someone cleared their throat behind you and you reluctantly pulled away, hand still in his.

“You guys coming back in?” Mai was standing at the door, smiling softly as you wiped the tears away.

You looked at Luca, who looked at you before nodding, bringing you back in with him.

————

The light and sounds reentering your senses were gentle now, beckoning you to relax into them instead of suffocating you.

You were dancing with Mai again, really leaning into it and having fun now. You still missed him, just being in the same room was never enough, but you were okay now knowing he didn’t hate you.

He was being dragged by your other friends to dance with them behind you, eyes locked on the back of your head and the way you were moving your hips. Your eyes were closed as you moved, not registering Mai tell you she was getting a drink until you smelled his cologne right behind you.

“Hey.” He muttered close to your ear, hand hovering over your waist. Always a gentleman.

“Luca!” You turned and smiled at him, throwing your arms around his neck to dance with you.

“Havin’ fun?” He leaned down to ask, hands still hovering before you placed them on your waist.

“I am.” You beamed, “are you?”

He smiled down at you, squeezing your waist for just a second.

“I am-“ He paused, smile suddenly fading as you moved your heated hair off of your neck.

You gave Luca a confused look until you looked down where he was staring.

Shit.

You were giving him an accidental direct look at the mark you told Carm not to leave. He never listened. This wasn’t his fault though, this was all you.

Luca dropped his hands and walked away, gently moving past an oblivious Mai, who knew something was wrong as soon as she saw you.

“Shit.”

———————

You told Mai what happened, trying to stop yourself from following him out. You should’ve told him about Carm sooner but you didn’t think it was that important, you weren’t dating anyone.

“Alright, it’s okay. I’ll go talk to him.” She said, setting her drink down.

“No, wait- I think I need to go. It’s on me, let me handle it.”

She nodded and gave you a supportive smile as you walked back out.

It wasn’t as cold as Chicago but it was much cooler than inside. You looked around for a while, collecting annoyed glances from everyone you asked about seeing him.

You eventually found him back in the alley you were standing together in almost an hour ago, sitting against a wall.

“Luca.” You said softly as you walked up to him, “I’m sorry just- let me explain.” He didn’t move or say anything, looking at the ground as his moved one of his hands over the other.

And you did. You stood there explaining everything, from the day you met Carm to the day you left. He didn’t say anything, quick glances at you as you explained not giving you any hints to his thoughts.

“I should’ve told you earlier, I just didn’t think you’d really care. I haven’t dated anyone since you, I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t have danced with you if I had a boyfriend.”

You stopped, waiting with an apology written all over your face as he thought.

He got up after a few more drawn out seconds, shaking his head.

“It’s been over a year. You’re allowed to do whatever you want, if Carm’s who you want then that’s just fine. I’m happy for you.” He muttered, hand touching your shoulder for just a second before turning to go back in.

“Luca wait-“ You said, grabbing one of his hands. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you- I don’t want Carm, I want you.”

He turned back to you, removing his hand from yours.

“You left me.”

“But I didn’t want to. Luca, I wanted you to come with me.” He shook his head again, closing his eyes for a moment.

“You never asked-“ You interrupted him without thinking.

“I thought you’d say no. I didn’t want to drag you away from this place, you love it here.” He looked into your eyes, tears threatening to fall from his own.

“I love- I loved you.” He muttered, voice wavering, before walking back in.

Fuck.

———————

When you walked back in he was sitting down, you were about to walk up to talk to him again when someone else got there first.

A girl? She was placing a hand on his shoulder and laughing. Great.

You sighed and walked back to Mai, ignoring the burning feeling in your chest.

“You good?” She gave you a sweet smile and beckoned you closer.

You shook your head and glanced over at Luca and whoever he was laughing with.

“It’s okay though, I probably deserve it.”

She shrugged and shook her head.

“He hasn’t dated anyone since you left, I don’t think it’ll go anywhere.”

Really? You assumed he wasn’t dating anyone at the moment when he showed up alone, but the whole time? Maybe you had a chance. You felt eyes on you and looked back at Luca glancing at you before turning away again. Maybe.

You decided you might as well still have a good time instead of feeling sorry for yourself all night, dancing with Mai and whoever else was around you.

After a while your feet were getting tired and the only person you could place was Mai, talking to the girl she whispered to you about a few moments earlier.

You teased her for having a crush before taking her hand and guiding her towards her, giving them an opener before you left to ‘go to the bathroom.’ Giving them some room and dancing on your own.

You went to get some water since it was getting late, running into someone on your way to the table, spilling your glass all over them.

“Shit sorry-“ You looked up to see Luca, shirt now wet and sticking to his skin.

He looked down at the spill and up at you. “It’s fine. I’ll go get some paper towels.”

You stopped him.

“No, let me. Come on.” You grabbed his hand and guided him to the bathroom, figuring a hand dryer would do the job quicker.

You brought him in and he leaned against the sink, starting to unbutton his shirt.

“Sorry I didn’t see you, I just thought I dropped something and-“ You tried not to stare at the now shirtless man in front of you. He interrupted your apology.

“It’s really okay. It’s just water, no big deal.”

You looked at him then, letting go of the button for the dryer so he could hear you.

“Jesus, Luca, would you just tell me to fuck off.”

He looked at you like you were trying to explain astrophysics in the club bathroom.

“What?”

“Just-“ You rubbed your hands over your face, thinking about what you were about to say.

“Just be fucking mean to me for a second. You’re too nice. I left you, and then came back and danced on you with a hickey on my neck from someone else, and then I spilled water on you to make it worse. Call me a bitch, tell me I’m fucking stupid, I don’t care, just please. Don’t be so nice.”

He blinked and looked around, trying to process what you were saying.

“You want me to be mean to you?”

“Yes! God please, say anything, just don’t tell me that it’s okay.”

He turned the dryer back on himself then, drying it slowly as he sat quietly, thinking. It was torture, standing there waiting for him to call you selfish for needing that. But he never did. The dryer stopped after what felt like forever and he sat his shirt down, getting up to lock the door before towering over you.

“You really fucked me up. For a while, I thought I was going to marry you. I would’ve. But you left.” You nodded, listening. Breath faltering at the confession as he kept walking towards you, one more step and you were against a wall.

“What you did was awful. Leaving wasn’t enough for you, you didn’t even talk to me. And then you show up here and it all comes back, the feelings and memories and shit I was just starting to get over, everything. I think I might just have you for a second and you tell me you’ve been fucking my old friend.”

You were so close now, noses practically touching as you tried to catch your breath under him.

“I didn’t know you knew-“ He stopped you, putting a hand over your mouth.

“Let me finish.” He leaned over, mouth right over your ear, leaving goosebumps on your skin as his deep voice drove you crazy.

“You’re fucking horrible for me. And y’know what’s worse? I still want you. Even now, while you beg me to be mean to you, I want you. Like you never even left, I think about you all the time. I think about you at work, when I’m with friends, at home, in my sleep, Every second you’re on my mind. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted. You like that though, don’t you?”

Your eyes were closed, focusing on controlling your breathing as the warmth between your legs grew. Hearing his voice so close to you again, his cologne almost drowning you, arms boxing you in, it was all so much.

“Don’t you?” He repeated, moving his hand from your mouth to your jaw, opening your eyes to look at him.

You nodded and he kissed you. Moving his hands to your waist and telling you to jump, picking you up so you were between him and the wall. He was kissing you quick, sloppy mouths sliding against each other as you moved your hands all over him.

He pulled away, looking at your kiss-swollen lips. “d’you want this?”

You nodded your head again, trying to pull him impossibly closer to you, “Please.”

He moved to kiss your neck, biting the spot Carm left a few days before, making you shiver.

“‘s he good? Fuck you better than I did?” He was groaning into your skin as you tried to grind your hips into his.

You shook your head quickly, “No.” You whined, jealousy in his voice turning you on further.

“No?” He moved the hand not keeping you up to the hem of your dress, waiting for your nod before continuing. He pulled your dress up just over your hips to feel how soaked you were. “He get you this wet?” He was right next to your ear again, groaning when you tried to push down against his fingers.

“No. Just you.” You said between gasps. Thick fingers finding your clit through the drenched material and leaving light circles there.

“You like it when I’m mean to you, baby?” There was that name again. He had a lot for you, all of them making you need him even more.

You nodded and he removed his hand suddenly, grabbing your jaw with his slick fingers. “Words.”

“Yes.” You sighed at the loss before he moved his fingers back,

“There’s my girl.” You moaned at the nickname as he pulled your underwear to the side, running his fingers up and down your slick as you clenched around nothing.

“You miss these fingers?” He breathed into your skin as he sunk two into you suddenly, stretching you out as your mouth dropped open.

“Missed all ‘f you.”

“Yeah? Carm not fucking you enough, then?” He moved his thumb to your clit as he curled his fingers in and out of you, watching you struggle to respond.

You shook your head, “He’s just- he’s busy a lot.” You stuttered through choked moans.

“Doesn’t make enough time for you, does he? Poor thing.” You cried out as he repeatedly hit that spot inside of you that always made you think of him as he kept his thumb on your clit.

“Fuck, Luca-“

“I know, bunny. You’re so close, aren’t you? That’s too bad.” He whispered the last part, pulling his hand away from you just as the tension in your stomach was about to snap.

“Wh- But-“ He interrupted your whines, whispering in your ear once more as you protested.

“Sluts don’t get to cum.”

You gasped, surprised at the filth coming out of his mouth. He put you down gently, snapping your underwear back into place before pulling your dress back down.

He grabbed his shirt, putting it on quickly before grabbing your hand and unlocking the door, leading you out with the hand still covered in you.

—————

You followed him out, cool air cooling your fiery skin. He walked you to his car, opening the door for you and making sure you were buckled in before closing it.

He got in, glancing at your clenched thighs before starting the car. “You wanna go to mine or d’you want me to drop you off?”

“Yours, please.” He smirked when you tried to close your thighs even more after he placed a hand right where your dress stops.

Every red light had you glaring over at him, you hated how hot he was right now, shirt left open enough to see one of his chest tattoos, hair messy from your hands. He looked good enough to eat, and you had to stop yourself from touching him every chance you got.

You eventually made it to his apartment without moving your hand to his pants and distracting him from the road. Thank god. He got out first and opened your door, hand out to you. He still lived where he always had, grateful he hadn’t moved so you knew how to get to his door quickly.

You made it into the elevator, practically jogging the way there. Slick from his fingers still pooling between your thighs, almost dripping down your leg. As soon as the door closed you were pushed against the wall. He enveloped your body in his own, kissing you with fervor as his hands moved over your ass and thighs.

The door opened and if there had been people standing there they might’ve called security at the messy sight out you. He grabbed your hand and rushed you to his door, unlocking it and immediately pulling you in before kicking it shut.

You were against the door. Hands moving to take his shirt off as he picked you up again, mouths still connecting as he brought you to his room. Throbbing dick hard against your thigh, you were nearly drooling when he laid you down on the bed.

He leaned down over you and put your legs around his waist.

“I want you in my mouth.” You moaned into his mouth, pulling him into you with your legs.

“Fuck- yeah? You want my dick to fill that pretty little mouth of yours?” He punctuated with a kiss to your forehead.

“Please.” He moved to take off his pants, standing up as you sat on your knees.

“I wanna see you cum on my mouth first. ‘s that okay pretty girl?”

You nodded eagerly, “yes.”

“Look at you using your words.” He moved you to lay down again, hands gripping your waist as you squirmed when he started kissing down your body.

His mouth stopped next to your ear, hand pushing your dress up. “You like being good for me, don’t you?” He kissed right under it, lifting your dress up to expose your chest.

“I knew it.” He breathed, looking down at your uncovered tits as he licked his lips.

“Could see your nipples through your dress as soon as we stepped outside. Dirty girl.”

You let out a moan as his fingers brushed over them, moving back and forth over the hardened nubs.

He moved down, kissing his way to your chest and lifting your head up to remove your dress, leaving you shivering under his stare. He laid over you, staring hungrily down at you for what felt like forever.

“Luca, please.” He glanced back up at your face, need painting your every feature.

“What’d you need from me, pretty girl? Talk to me.”

“Touch me. Please.” He gave in, leaning down to lick over each of your nipples, hands grabbing the unoccupied breast as he moved.

He kissed, licked, bit at every inch of your skin, drawing the prettiest whines out of you as you tried to rub your thighs together for relief. He got to your thighs, spreading your legs open around his head.

“You’re fucking soaked. You want me that bad, baby?” He said, tongue tracing over the innermost part of your thigh next to the hem of your underwear. You could hardly breathe now let alone think but you knew he wanted answers.

“Need you so bad, Luc’”

At that, he licked a slow, featherlight stripe up your clothed cunt. You could cry. You couldn’t remember the last time you were so horny. It wasn’t enough and he knew it, continuing to give light kitten licks over you. You were really crying then, tears mindlessly falling over your face from the lack of stimulation.

“‘re you crying, sweet girl? Just tell me what you need, baby.”

“More, please, need your mouth on me.”

“Yeah? You want me to put my mouth on your pretty pussy?”

Fuck, did he always sound like this?

“Please, please, please.” You were almost sobbing, memories of being together like this before you left hitting you.

“I got you, baby.” He pulled the drenched fabric off of you, tossing it with your dress on the floor.

The cool air hitting the wet warmth almost had you moaning out already as he gazed down at you. He brought two fingers up to run through your folds, spreading you out all for him. You couldn’t hold back the noises coming out of you and you didn’t care anymore.

His name falling repeatedly from your lips like you were asking for his forgiveness as he attached his mouth to you.

“Luca- fuck,” you started a sentence you had no intention of finishing as he practically made out with your aching cunt.

“You think about me when he fucked you?” He murmured against you, tongue lapping every drop of juice that he drug out of you.

“Wh-“ You had to think for a second before you understood what he was asking - thoughts that weren’t Luca and how his tongue felt on you pushed out of your mind.

“Yes- most times, actually. I-“ You struggled to get through your sentence, moaning out at every lick or suck over your clit. “-I tried not to but it- I couldn’t stop it.”

He groaned at your confession, pushing his hips into the mattress as he continued lapping at you. One of his hands moved up to grab at your tits while the other moved with his tongue, sinking two of his fingers into you.

“Shit,” You cried out when he curled his fingers just right.

“You’re so fucking good to me, Luca. So good.” You grabbed a fistful of his hair as he sped his fingers up, bringing his mouth away for just a second to spit on your clit before sucking it back into his mouth.

“I’m so close, baby, please.”

He moved away for a second to lightly bite at your thigh while his fingers continued, moving in and out of you at a mind-numbing pace.

“Gonna cum all over my mouth and fingers, pretty girl?” He gave you a quick kiss, tongue slipping over your own to let you taste yourself before moving back down, letting his mouth suck around your clit once more.

Praises and moans falling from your lips as your eyes were shut tight, all you could hear were his soft groans into your cunt and the wet smacking sounds from his fingers moving in and out of you.

He moaned your name into you, voice vibrating as you clenched around his fingers, tension in your stomach finally snapping as you finally came all over him.

He moved his thumb to take the place of his tongue as his fingers kept working you through it. He was back at your ear as his pace continued.

“Just like that. Good girl, coming all over my fingers like I told you to.”

“I got you, baby, it’s okay. Feels good, huh?”

“Missed you and this perfect pussy so bad.”

His fingers slowed as you started squirming away from overstimulation, he gave one last rub at your clit, your legs shaking before he stopped.

“So pretty like this, just for me.” You opened your eyes to him next to you, gently stroking your check with his thumb.

“You okay?” He moved stray strands of hair out of your face,

“‘m okay.” You reassured him, leaning into his touch and kissing his hand.

You reached over to feel him through his boxers, finding a wet spot.

“Did you-“

“Yeah,” He shrugged, face reddening.

“You sounded really hot. Missed you.”

You grinned at him, leaning over for a kiss.

“I missed you too.”

He took your hand in his, running his thumb over your own.

“Luca?” You wondered if he meant everything he said, he usually did, but you had to make sure.

He hummed, leaning down at you.

“Did you mean all of that?”

He moved so you were laying your head on his chest while he stroked your hair.

“Well,” He paused to think, “I don’t really think you’re horrible for me but I do think about you all the time. And.. I did want to marry you. Still do, if you’d let me.” He punctuated with a kiss to the top of your head.

“Really?”

“Really.”

Shit.

——————————

BFFBHFFNFBBSHDJRBDHRBFD

[storiesbyrhi]

Angel of the First Degree - Chapter 15: Christmas

Eddie Munson x Chubby!Reader 3605 words Series Masterlist

Warnings: Anxiety; fatphobia including internalised; drug use; bullying; body issues; discussion of body function and fluids; period shame/stigma; disclosure of sexual assault (chapter 2); disordered eating and thoughts of food; shitty/abusive/critical parents; porn magazines; smut; reference to suicide (specifically Virginia Woolf’s); no beta; grief/mourning; verbal fighting; meat (turkey)... for the vegans; warnings updated each chapter

Synopsis: When Eddie Munson finds you in the midst of a panic attack, it is the beginning of something. A fic featuring body and sex positivity, Eddie in a dress, soft small moments, scary big truths, and all the usual special feelings you’d expect from one of my stories.

Chapter Summary: It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Author's Note: We also continue with our little peppering of glimpses into Eddie’s masterplan. Bonus: We find out what's in the Garfield mug.

“The roads are awful,” you tried to argue.

It was just under a week until Christmas, and from where you sat on the bed, you could see snow falling outside. Forest Hills had already become a depressing version of a winter wonderland.

“I’m taking Wayne’s truck. He got chains put on.”

Eddie continued to shove things into his duffle bag, not bothering to face you as he spoke.

“Why can’t they at least meet you halfway?”

Eddie held back a smirk. “It’s not the same as me driving over to someone’s house to sell them a few joints. Not your friendly neighbourhood drug dealer. They’re a supplier, you know?”

“Okay but doesn’t that make them dangerous?”

“That’s why you’re not coming,”

“Eddie,” you whined, but the pitch is sad and he heard it.

Eddie stopped packing and sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s one night, angel. I’ll be in and out there. I promise if there was a different way of getting the product, I’d do that. But no Rick means I gotta fend for myself, and I want it done before Christmas, ‘kay?”

He felt like shit for lying to you, but there was no other cover story. Eddie had spent hours thinking about it, but all alternatives made no sense. Driving to Chicago to buy a few months’ worth of drugs got him to the city without you.

Eddie had added flourishes to the story to make it seem more real. People suffered through the holidays; weed was a saving grace he could charge a premium for. People partied through the holidays; coke and party drugs at holiday rates. Supply and demand.

It was hard for you to come up with a valid enough reason for him not to go. The income generated from the product would be supporting you after all. Regardless, you felt sick knowing Eddie would be alone on the icy roads for so long, and you were terrified at the thought of who he’d be meeting in the Windy City.

When Eddie kissed you goodbye, he held your face in his hands and studied it. “I love you,” he said softly while his expression was set in a hard frown.

“I love you too. Be safe.”

Once he was gone, you went back to bed with the hopes of sleeping through the subsequent forty-eight hours.

At the wheel of Wayne’s truck, Eddie had Hawkins in his rearview mirror, and a list of addresses and times riding shotgun.

…

It came as a surprise to you that you had, in fact, not met all the different sides of Eddie. As Christmas Eve Day dawned, your boyfriend was running on adrenaline, black coffee, and a questionable amount of sugar.

You sat at the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of milky tea, watching him measure out herbs and spices. At first, he was explaining the recipe to you. Quickly it descended into Eddie muttering something about oven hot spots and internal turkey temperatures. It would have been funny if he didn’t look so unhinged.

When Wayne came home from his night shift, he froze in the doorway at the sight of Eddie in the kitchen.

“Jesus. This shit starts earlier every year,” he said.

“Yeah. Yeah. And every year I get closer to the perfect fuckin’ bird, don’t I? Huh? Yeah?”

“Alright. Calm down. Don’t get your turkey in a twist… If this is happening, I’m taking the bed for a couple’a hours,”

“Yeah, ‘kay. Don’t mind the wet patches,” Eddie replied with a dumbass smile.

You closed your eyes and felt your cheeks heat.

Wayne made a noise of extreme discontent, grabbed the blanket hung over his fold-up bed, and disappeared into the bedroom.

“Why did you have to say that?” you whined.

Eddie cackled and returned to his precious Christmas Eve roast. “After you eat this, you’ll let me say whatever I fucking want.”

When his prized bird was safely on its way to cooked perfection, you joined Eddie to help prepare the sides. Mashed potatoes and peas. Gravy and cranberry sauce. Most of it was store-bought mixes because Eddie had spent so much on the bird. You didn’t care at all. With the trailer smelling of food and pine, and a small collection of gifts under the tree, it was shaping up to be a kind of beautiful Christmas.

When Wayne emerged from the bedroom, it was late afternoon. Dinner was well on its way to being cooked, and Eddie was sitting on the floor in front of the oven. He’d let you bake gingerbread on the condition that he watched the oven to ensure his turkey wasn’t affected.

“If anything, my cookies are gonna smell like it!”

“Lucky them!”

Wayne took his usual position in the single armchair in the corner of the room. He’d put on a record then relaxed in for the night.

“We don’t always get Christmas Eve together,” Eddie explained. “He asked for it off this year,”

“That’s good,”

“For you,” he added. You had joined Eddie on the floor next to the oven, and looked over at him when he said it. “My first Christmas with him was awesome. I mean, all things considered. Reckon he wants yours to be too.”

It felt good in that way that hurts.

When your cookies were out and cooled, you and Eddie sat at the little table against the wall and began to decorate. Your first three were gingerbread replicas of you, Eddie, and Wayne. You glanced over at Eddie’s plate. He had bitten limbs off his men and eaten them happily.

“They fought valiantly,” he told you.

“Who was the war against?”

“Christian fundamentalists,” Eddie replied, not missing a beat.

“Jesus,” you laughed.

“Nah, he’s actually on the other side.”

You watched him for a few more moments, lost in his own little storyline of broken soldiers and religious zealots. Truly, there was nobody else like Eddie.

After gingerbread men and spiked eggnog, the Christmas crackers were brought out. You won against both Eddie and Wayne, wearing a pink and a blue paper hat on your head. Wayne won against Eddie, leaving Eddie to pout and smell the gunpowder sticks left in the halved crackers.

“Like sparklers,” he told you, inhaling dramatically.

Wayne unraveled the tiny piece of paper in his hands and sighed. “Why did Santa’s helper go to the doctor?” You and Eddie shrugged. “Because he had low elf esteem.”

Eddie snorted. “Alright, gimme one?” You handed him one of yours. “Ahhh, ‘kay… What’s the best Christmas present in the world? … A broken drum… You just can’t beat it,”

“We should save that for Gareth. Okay, mine says… What do you get when you cross Santa with a vampire?”

“Frostbite,” Eddie answered immediately.

“Yeah,”

“That’s my favourite Christmas joke,”

“You have a favourite Christmas joke?”

“Yeah. That and: what do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells,”

“That’s bad,” you said but laughed anyway.

“Wayne has a photographic memory for shitty jokes,” Eddie told you, pointing up at his uncle.

“What did one snowman say to the other snowman? … Can you smell carrot?”

And it went on like that until the oven timer binged and Eddie screamed so loud beside you that it hurt your ears.

“Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck. Yes. Yes, this is it. I’ve done it. I’m a god. I’m a culinary god. The best goddamn chef in all of Indiana.”

You and Wayne stood and watched Eddie pull the turkey out of the oven. He’d done the math and timed all the sides perfectly. He began to mumble to himself (although you were beginning to suspect he was actually talking to the turkey) and put things on serving plates.

“Guess we better set the table,” Wayne said.

The small table against the wall was pulled out and a third folded chair was fetched from somewhere in the trailer. You set out three plates and lots of cutlery. The table wasn’t big enough to put everything on, so Eddie arranged a buffet on the kitchen bench where you each could serve yourself from.

“Looks good, kid,” Wayne offered when you were all at the table.

Eddie took a swig from his can of beer. “Thanks,”

“Really good,” you added. Eddie smiled at you. For a split second, less than even, you saw something in his expression. “What?”

He chewed his lip. “I just… It’s good to see you excited about food,” he said softly. Only months earlier, it would have been a risky thing to say. Not anymore.

You smiled back at him.

“We eating? Or…” Wayne hesitated. “You wanna say grace or something?”

Eddie snorted. “Grace?” They pulled faces at each other, then Eddie conceded. “How ‘bout… Here’s to… graduating, having a hot girlfriend, and a perfectly cooked turkey.”

Wayne shook his head but held his drink up anyway. In unison, the three of you said cheers.

…

Christmas dessert was bags of candy and the final dregs of eggnog. You and Eddie were laying side by side on the floor under the tree, looking up at the twinkling lights.

“What time you start tomorrow?” Eddie asked Wayne.

“Early.”

You hadn’t thought about the fact that so many people work on Christmas Day. You had been living a life of privilege with your parents, one that included holidays off.

“Let’s do presents tonight then,” you suggested.

“Good idea,” Eddie agreed, sitting up and pulling Wayne’s haul out.

A couple of records, novelty socks, and a book of gift vouchers Eddie and you had made that entitled Wayne to things like ‘get out of your turn to vacuum,’ ‘one night alone in the trailer,’ and ‘get out of jail free.’ He laughed at it and Eddie made a comment about how it was probably going to come back and bite you on the asses.

“Your turn, angel,”

“We agreed one thing each,” you whined when Eddie pulled out multiple gifts.

“This one’s from him, so that doesn’t count. And also I was born to break the rules baaaaaa-beeeee,” he replied, his big brown eyes jellifying you. 

Wayne’s present to you was a gift card to Build-A-Bear. “I know it’s a bit of a cop-out, but… you know… you’re always happy when you get back from that place.” The gift card was the type you could only buy in-store. The picture of Wayne Munson in that rainbow vomit of a room was somehow even stranger than Eddie in one. You wondered if Kasey had served him.

Eddie had bought you two books, and much like the one you received for your birthday, one was suspiciously aligned with what you would have had to read if enrolled at college. The other was about how modern sociological ideologies can shape the supposed objective understanding of ancient art and literature, therefore ancient culture. Eddie got the gist of it but winced when he flicked open to a random page and tried to read the academic writing. He knew you’d love it.

After the two books, he handed over a final gift. After all the birthday presents and other things he’d given you, you wondered what there could be left for Eddie to wrap.

“Oh, fuck. Hang on,” Eddie exclaimed, jumping up and running to the bedroom, returning with Hellfire. “You might need him for this.”

Unwrapping the small box, your heart melted and you giggled at the cuteness. It was a small replica of Eddie’s pick necklace obviously meant for Hellfire. When you put it on him, it sat perfectly around the cow’s neck. Eddie had used his miniature figurine equipment to make it for you, pulling apart old jewellery in the process.

“Now he really matches you,” you said holding him up, beaming.

“Actually, he matches you. There’s more in the box.”

With Hellfire next to you, you picked the box up again and moved a piece of tissue paper. You hadn’t noticed when Eddie stopped wearing his necklace. Now, it was in the box, offered to you in an act of devotion. It was a promise that he was yours, completely and entirely. And, you were his, adorned with his trademark.

“Eddie,” you started.

He knew that tone. It was the one that voiced shaky thoughts of inadequacy.

“Before you do the whole routine,” Eddie interrupted, waving an accusing finger at you but still wearing a soft smile. “Don’t be a grinch.”

You breathed out, then nodded. The weight of the chain and pick was nothing, but still, it felt like a grounding force weighted with love.

Honestly, you didn’t know where to go from that, didn’t know how to process what the gift symbolised, so instead you picked up your Christmas present to Eddie.

“Well, I stuck to the one thing rule…” you teased.

There was a strange little store in Hawkins, barely a hole in the wall. It sold candles and incense and glittery rocks. Not long after Eddie had passed ownership of the ruby ring to you, you had seen another like it in the store. It probably wasn’t a real fancy ruby, but the red stone was genuine. The ring was less dainty than yours, but you were drawn to it every time you passed by the store.

The woman who worked there reminded you of Stevie Nicks, always in lace and hand knitted things. She had watched you come and go from her store, always lamenting over the red garnet ring. “What does it mean to you?” she asked one day.

You felt embarrassed to be so seen, but she was kind. When you told her about Eddie and showed her the stolen ruby ring, she smiled, saying, “Red garnets are gemstones full of love.” After she told you about how scientists were making synthetic garnets but without the earth energy or characterising imperfections, you moved aside so she could help a group of teenagers.

The group was vaguely familiar, maybe they had been Juniors that year. On top of the usual anxiety you felt whenever groups of kids were nearby, you sensed something else. The girls in the group were asking lots of questions about things on one side of the store, while the boys huddled together on the other. Doing your best to stay off their radar, you slowly made your way to where you could spy better. They were lining their pockets with small trinkets and crystals.

The woman had been so gentle with you, never making you feel bad for not buying whenever you stopped by. You imagined it was hard to own a business like hers in a town like Hawkins. Besides, you thought, there were rules about shoplifting. Eddie had told you he never used his five-finger discount anywhere where the owner was also the person at the register. Honour among thieves.

The kids in the store didn’t get the memo and it filled you with a dash of bravery. You quickly moved to the closed door and knocked over a stack of books that sat neatly by it. Everyone in the store looked to see what the commotion was.

“Sorry,” you said. “I’ll pick them up. You guys can pay for the stuff you’re getting while I do it. I’ll be quick.”

The boys all looked at each other. “What stuff?” one tried.

You began to slowly rebuild the book tower.

“Guess I should get baskets so customers don’t have to put things in their pockets,” the woman said, leaving the girls to go stand in the boys’ personal space.

They dumped all the things out onto the counter, legging it out the door just as you opened it wide. “Fucking bitches!” and “Freaks!” were thrown in as they left.

“Did they break anything?” you asked, walking over to help the woman put things back in their rightful homes. 

“Thankfully not. I normally just let them leave with it all,”

“Why?”

“Apparently confronting people makes myself a target, according to the Chief. S’not been the same since Hopper died…”

“I’m sorry,”

“Not your bad to apologise for. Anyway, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

You thought on it… “I did. It was the right thing to do.”

The woman looked at you, almost through you. She had that otherworldliness to her gaze that Eddie sometimes got. People like them saw the universe differently.

When she offered you the ring as a reward for stepping in, you declined. As you did the next time you were there and she offered, and the third. The fourth time you sighed.

“This ring stopped being mine the minute you walked in here,” she said. “I think it’s meant for your boyfriend.”

Sitting on the floor cross-legged, Eddie mirroring your position, you knew that the witchy woman was right all along.

“Just one is one more than I need,” Eddie said, tearing into the small gift. The wrapping paper gave way to the small velvet box. “Oh my gawwwd.” It was a new voice for him. “Baaaaabe. Honey bunny. Cupcake. You shouldn’t have.” He hadn’t even opened the box. “I do. I will be your wife.” But then he opened the box and his impersonation of bouncy fiancé girl dropped. His eyebrows knitted together.

“You don’t like it?” you said more than asked before you could stop yourself.

“No, no, I love it. It’s just too much,”

“Oh. No. It’s not…” You went to say more but didn’t really know how to begin to justify something so small to someone so big.

Thankfully, Eddie shut up and accepted it, putting the ring on and staring at it. You knew him well enough to know he was holding back tears. His eyes glossed over and he scrunched his nose up like a rabbit. When he was ready, he looked back up at you.

“I love you,” he said so seriously. There were so many things going through his mind. A masterplan with so many moving parts he felt tired all the time. It was coming together though, and he was so close to the reveal.

“I love you too,” you replied, voice shaky.

Wayne waited a few moments before breaking up the intense gaze-off you and Eddie were in. He cleared his throat. “I’ll put this here for safe keepin’,” he said, standing and reaching up to a shelf of his mugs to put the book of vouchers in it. As he angled the Garfield mug, he heard a sound. You watched Wayne pull the mug down and peer inside. “What the hell?”

“You would not fucking believe how long I’ve been waiting for you to find that!” Eddie said, loud and proud, shooting up and clapping his hands.

Wayne fished out the object and held it up. It was a human tooth. “Jesus. Is this real?”

“Ah-huh,” Eddie answered, cackling. You and Wayne both waited for him to explain. “You remember when one of my wisdom teeth was coming in?”

“Do I bloody remem- Yes, Eddie, I do. Bitched and moaned about it day and night but wouldn’t go see anybody ‘bout it,”

“Yeah, well, you know Hacksaw Henry? Got him to pull out the back tooth so the new one could just come in. Worked a treat.”

It was hard to tell who was more horrified.

“You did what?” Wayne nearly yelled.

“Hacksaw Henry?” The name told you a lot but you needed to know more.

Eddie laughed again. “That’s been in there for almost two years,”

“Hells bells, you’re going to be the death of me,” Wayne said, flopping back down on his armchair and throwing the tooth across the room to Eddie.

“No, seriously, Hacksaw Henry?”

“He’s from the other side of the park. Watches too much T.V. and reads these weird medical journals. He’s Forest Hill’s resident quote unquote doctor,” Eddie told you while examining his old molar, remembering the day it was pulled from his jaw.

“You let him pull a healthy tooth?”

“Nah; I paid him to pull it. ‘Sides, the tooth wasn’t perfectly healthy. When the wisdom one started to break through, this one started to rot. See?” he explained, handing the tooth down to you.

You could see what he was talking about, but all in all, it still seemed like an insane thing to do.

“Cheaper than an actual dentist. Hurt like a bitch, but heard getting your wisdom teeth out does too. Skulled a six pack before to calm my jangled nerves… And voila…” Eddie added. “Honestly thought you’d find it sooner, old man… Guess Garfield isn’t your favourite?”

“You know those are the special ones,” Wayne said, pointing to that particular shelf of mugs.

“Can I keep this?” you asked, still studying the tooth.

Eddie looked at you and grinned wide. He loved that you wanted it. That you’d asked for it. He would have pulled all his teeth to give you a complete set if you’d use that soft voice again.

“Consider it your final present. Merry Christmas, babe.”

Forest Hills was loud and lit up with Christmas cheer. Once you and Eddie had retired to bed that night, you held each other under the covers.

“It’s weird we both went with jewellery,” he said, finishing the sentence with a kiss on your forehead.

“Great minds?”

“Great minds,” he agreed.

The stretch between Christmas and New Years was a strange liminal time for most people. As you and Eddie drifted to sleep, bruises from his lips leaving a trail from your neck to your underwear, your two great minds thought of that in-between space and what it meant for you both.

Next Chapter: Fireworks

End Note: RIP at Wayne sitting there while you and Eddie get all lovey dovey over a tooth lmaoooo. Also, If you’ve seen the episode of Bob’s Burgers where Bob starts talking to the bird and falling in love and shit, that’s the energy we were channeling here.

Fic Taglist: @ajeff855 @b-barnes04 @eddie-munson-is-a-sweetheart have you changed your URL? @nerd-squad-headquarters @word-wytch @harrys-tittie @munsonsmel0dy @sidthedollface2 @eddiethesexy @bardicfrustration @orpheusredux @munsonsgirl71 @a-time-for-wolvess @eddieswifu @rosaline-black @thegirlwhohides @emotionaldreamer @e0509 @briasnow-blog @kiyastrf94 @erinsingalong @rainylana @thescarletangelsstuff @mrsdollardog @tayhar811 @chickennug90 @b-irock @nana90azevedo @eddiemunson95 @akiratoro420

Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooo-expressooo-blog @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @lacrymosa-24

[ultradude13]

Four types of pizza, by region

[chaiisms]

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE PROMPT LIST - PART 1.

prompts taken directly from the transcript of the musical - please go support starkid and their work! this list covers the first two songs of the musical and the surrounding scenes.

PROLOGUE.

" Help! Somebody help me please! "

" Wait’ll you get a load of this mess. "

" I leave Chicago cuz of the blood and guts, and what do you know? They got ‘em here too. "

" That’s not all. Killer left a little love note for us. Penned in his victim’s blood. "

" We’re a little out of our depth! "

" Jesus… How the hell did this happen?"

HIGH SCHOOL IS KILLING ME.

" The nightmare started there but now has spread. "

" Someone comes for me, I'm unprepared. "

" You can’t cut through all the tension. "

" It’s a hell on earth you know, "

" It’s a cruel and unusual brutality, "

" I'm so fucking dead! "

" I was up so late last night, "

" And I can survive it for only so long! "

" And I’m just realizing, I’ve never introduced myself. "

" We’re friends. Aren’t we? "

" I don’t know. Are we? "

" I got left behind this morning. Bus driver’s a fucking asshole. "

" Please. Don’t you wanna help me out? "

DETENTION.

" That little snitch! "

" I don’t need this kind of attention. "

" So you don’t want to be bullied? "

" No! I want to be invisible. "

" Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bowtie? "

" Ugh. I’d rather starve to death. "

" You’re, like, famous! "

" This outfit is a tapestry of my trauma. It is designed to provoke as little teasing a possible. "

" Huh. I didn’t know you were funny. "

" I can’t let him see me talking to you! "

" Who are you running from? "

LITERAL MONSTER.

" You’re not him you’re a loser, "

" It’s best to drop and play dead, "

" You better leave your hopes behind, "

" No one's gonna stop him, "

" You better hope you're out of sight "

" Never look in the eye, "

" He's a literal monster! "

" I swear to god he has fangs, "

" No one to blame if there's no accuser. "

" I've gotta get to remedial algebra. "

" Meaning I’ve gotta walk through this hallway. And I don’t need you stinkin’ it up. "

" Well, there’s a difference between intent and impact. "

" I think for this hallway infraction, I’m gonna have to issue a Flick-It Ticket. "

" Sorry. I’m fresh outta your favorite food. "

" She’s, like, uh… a total two-bagger! "

" Nobody, and I mean nobody, talks that way… about [muse name]. "

" You don’t know me very well, do you? "

" I know behind closed doors, repressed chicks are the biggest freaks. "

" Watch some porn, you'll see. "

" Don't call me that. "

" I'm the reason you run and hide. "

" You all look disappointed, "

" So keep on judging me, "

" That comes with infamy, "

" You can watch as I rise! "

" I will claim what is mine. "

STEPH, MAYOR LAUTER AND MISS TESSBURGER.

" This is politics, learn to multitask! "

" We are within the margin of error, and you are doing everything you can to fuck things up! "

" It's like you don't care about this campaign at all. "

" Next time you're going to cheat, do it like a [surname] and don't get caught. "

" I'd like to have an intelligent conversation, if you don't mind. In other words, shut up. "

" There's nothing you can threaten me with. "

" I'll be careful with it. I'll carefully smash it with this hammer. "

" Not even you would do something this evil... "

" It'd be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. "

" I don’t care if you have to lie, cheat, steal, or shock-of-all-shocks: read a book for once in your life. "

more to come!r