#chef Merlin

[futurepastme]

I'm all for the "hates killing animals" Merlin (and that can still be true), but a conversation at work today made me realize that Merlin is a peasant and I don't remember cannon enough but if he's not also a farmer (even if a small one) he's definitely had to kill and prepare animals to eat before, either just for himself and his mom or to help people around in Ealdor.

Now, consider Arthur and the rest of the knights of Camelot. Before Arthur started to knight common men, they were all nobles. They were taught how to hunt, of course, but they never really needed to prepare the game they'd caught before, they all had servants and cooks to do that. They had learned how to hunt for sport and that was it.

All that to present the concept that: Before Merlin came to Camelot, Arthur and the knights (reminder: not our knights, the noble ones that Uther approved of and were already there before cannon started) had to survive quests mostly with the rations they took with them, only turning to hunting as a last resort because they all suck at preparing their catch.

They'll either skin them wrong, losing a lot of meat in the process or will simply be bad at cooking it, most times burning it a little. And the flavour, of course, sucks.

Arthur, I think, would be the only one to be half decent at that because I like to believe Uther would like to have him ready for any outcome, but he was the prince and nobody would dare to ask him to cook for them and we're talking about a before-Merlin Arthur, so I don't believe he would volunteer because at this point he's a prat.

Then comes Merlin, the idiot that was recently awarded the position as Arthur's servant. And the knights all know that Merlin is useless because Arthur's been complaining about him since day one.

Now the bumbling fool is following them to some mission somewhere and they have no hopes that he'll be of any use at all. That won't stop them to order Merlin around like the inferior peasant that he is, though.

But then.

Then they get delayed and have to hunt for food.

And of course Merlin is in charge of cooking it, because now that they have a servant there, there's no way any of those nobles will get their hands dirty with such an inferior task such as cooking.

They catch an animal (any animal, honestly. I don't care, from a mouse to a bear, it's up to you) and promptly shove it towards Merlin with no hopes of a good meal, but with the assurance that at least this time it would be bad because of a servant and they all would be allowed to complain about it with no reservations.

Then Merlin sits there by the fire, with a barely sharp enough knife and whatever animal they had caught, and seamlessly and smoothly skins the thing.

It takes him no time at all and there are no chunks of meat missing. Clumsy, idiot and useless Merlin had perfectly skinned the creature in a matter of seconds, like it was the easiest thing in the world, and had not damaged neither the meat nor the pelt.

They all kind of stop what they are doing to watch Merlin as he starts to cook the perfectly skinned meat. They stare as the boy seems to put green plants on it and some type of powders he had in his satchel, befuddled and confused.

And when they finally get to eat it, by the gods, if it isn't the best thing they have ever eaten outside of Camelot.

Slowly, the rumors of Merlin's skills start to spread amongst the knights and soon enough all of them are dying to try it.

In a matter of weeks all knights of Camelot agree that if you happened to end up in some type of quest with the prince, you're the luckiest bastard to ever live, not because of the honour to fight along the prince, but for the chance to eat a meal prepared by Merlin.

By the sixth month of Merlin tagging along with Arthur, the rations they bring to quests and such become the last resort food or maybe just side dishes, because if Merlin is at the party then hunting is mandatory, for every knight of Camelot loves Merlin's food. (Arthur is chef Merlin's number one fan, btw)

[mr-merlin]

"I think that a lot of sorcerers are in the... charcoal business."

[cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu]

Me at smutty merthur: ooohhh noice, looking good you two yaasss get it boiiisss 😘

Me at pining, slow asf burn, touch-starved, 30 pages in and they finally kiss before they start pining again merthur: OMFG Asdfghjkl!? 😳 DID YA'LL SEE THAT TOUCH ON THE HAND?? OR THAT SMALL BUT TOTALLY SIGNIFICANT KISS!!? ON THE CHEEK!?! 😭😳

[pandalikeelf]

hands of arthur pendragon

[merlinmylove]

I always find it so funny (in a heartbreaking way) when Arthur says “why didn’t you tell me?”

like dude ??

Merlin’s entire existence is outlawed

he was born a crime

how could he have, especially if Uther was still alive?

I understand Arthur feels betrayed and hurt because Merlin didn’t trust him but cmon let’s look at the show

Merlin has been sent to the stocks and the dungeons for being late with breakfast and missing laundry — what would the punishment be if he told the Crown Prince he was a traitor to the kingdom? Banishment, death, or worse? And what if Uther found out?

I don’t think Arthur would’ve killed Merlin, but he would’ve sent him away or hated himself for harbouring a sorcerer — he’s now a hypocrite for putting one person above the law while his father burns druid children

Gaius would’ve been hanged by association, and his mother killed for having concealed a dragonlord (let alone giving birth to another one)

Gwen was arrested twice on suspicion of sorcery, and Uther ordered her pyre built — the only reason she didn’t burn is because 1.Morgana spoke in her favour and, 2. Another sorcerer took the blame

(I love arthur so much but why does he never consider the fact that the love of his life and future queen, was almost innocently executed twice because there is no way of confirming she didn’t use magic — because how does one prove a negative?)

And I doubt Gwen is the first and only person to be falsely accused of sorcery, but she’s the one of few who had friends in high places who were willing to defy the King in order to save her life

If a Kings word is law then why even bother with a trial?

We’ve seen several times that Witchfinders or Druid catchers can steal people (probably citizens from other kingdoms) and earn a living by selling them to the King of Camelot

(and i don’t belive for a second every one of them had magic or were druids. Besides, the whole court now believes the witchfinder to be a fraud, so why does no one think about the future people accused of magic — how does one prove it?)

Mordred was hunted throughout the kingdom for a week simply for being born a druid (neither the King nor Arthur had any way of knowing if he actually had magic, he was simply guilty for existing within the borders of Camelot)

(Arthur risked everything in order to save the little druid boy — i wish this was spoken about more in the show but alas. Also, Gaius mentioned that Uther drowned several children — why does no one in the show discuss this? Does Arthur not know?

We know he feels immense guilt and grief over the raid in the druid camp he led and he did atone for it. I love Bradley’s acting in that scene, his voice breaks as he accepts the reality of what he has been apart of

Merlin saw all this. He lived all of it. How could he have told Arthur he had magic and expected a good outcome? He wanted to, multiple times — but the risk of banishment was too great.

But what about after Arthur is King? How could Merlin tell Arthur he has magic after Uther dies from magic, Morgana has gone mad from magic, and Aggrevaine betrayed him? Merlin could not bring himself to add more betrayal and heartbreak onto Arthur

I adore when fanfic discusses these aspects of the show and actually talks in detail about the horror Uther caused for over 20 years

Make Arthur think for himself and come to terms with what his father did, and also what his own legacy now is

Make Mordred, Morgana, Gaius, and Merlin talk about the horrors of the purge, and the the fear of living under Uthers rule

Make Gwen speak of what she experienced when she, and her father, were wrongly accused of a crime they didn’t commit — they were going to burn innocently, just like those children Uther killed

By Uthers logic Magic corrupts. It is a power one seeks out and must be studied. It is an evil — if that is the case then why did he allow Gaius to remain at court, and privately attend the king and his children? Surely Gaius would be corrupted by now…unless magic does not always corrupt…

I want Arthur to ask himself these questions— why was Gaius (the Kings friend) allowed to stay alive if he simply promised not to use magic again? Why were those innocent druid children not given the same choice?

Arthur asks himself several times if Magic is always evil, or if it can be used for good — and some times it’s almost successful, but in the end it’s like a catch 22 — Arthur sees (mostly) magic being used for evil so therefore it must be evil

I don’t want Merlin to be angry with Arthur or to have a screaming match with him — but I do love when Merlin passively aggressively sets the record straight

The canon answer he gives is “you would’ve chopped my head off” is perfect in my opinion because YES death always a possibility

Especially if Uther found out

(i don’t think Merlin is entirely blameless of course, he could’ve tried harder to sow the seed of doubt in arthur’s mind that maybe magic is not always evil — like after morgause or when arthur requested magic to heal his father, or when magic saves gwens life)

(if only merlin was braver, if only gaius was bolder, if only aggrevaine didn’t betray him, if only gwen spoke up, if only if only if only)

i love these boys so much and i love the angst and arthur’s heartbreak is so painful and merlin’s guilt is all-consuming

thank god for fanfic lol

but anyways this is my rant because i’m bored at my family christmas dinner so

[clockspur]

Invite Villagers?

Nah, son- we bring our guys in through folk horror rituals, now.

[rosemarytales]

tbh I think the venn diagram of merthur shippers and "boyfriend material" by alexis hall fans should be a circle, it's merthur fanfic in spirit

[dragonwhisper23]

Maybe we should follow up with this molly character Artfight attack for captain-hawkeagle

[imm0rtal-idi0t]

This is the scene in s1e1 where Merlin walks in on Morgana getting changed, according to the book.

“Merlin could see her elegant silhouette and had to fight to drag his eyes from it so he could get out of there.”

HAD TO FIGHT TO DRAG HIS EYES FROM IT *shakes you violently*

(From The Magic Begins official Merlin BBC book)

[dandelion-blues]

Tales of Arcadia One-shot

A Precious Youngling

Also, on Ao3

Jim cooked and spiced a meal as much to perfection as much he could make it with the materials he had available on this cross-country trip to New Jersey. It should have smelled divine, especially when he hasn't eaten much today, but instead, it smelled unimaginably gross like moldy trash was thrown in and burnt, but no trash actually smelt good now to Jim.

Ugh, Jim hated this. He was supposed to be a chef, and now he couldn't even taste what he was making. Heck, he could barely stand to be in the vicinity when he was cooking, but he wanted to surprise his girlfriend, Claire. In any case, he did it. He just hoped it tasted alright.

Jim carefully picked up the dish that he made using an extra pan that he brought with him as the plate, being careful not to stumble with his longer legs since he's been doing an awful lot of that and made his way towards Claire.

He was greeted by friendly smiles and a sense of community that he didn't feel before when he was just human. Jim didn't know if it was the fact that he was a troll now (or well half), or that he helped save them from their greatest enemy, or most likely a combination of the two, but trolls were a lot more accepting of Jim now. In fact, they were more than accommodating and would even go out of their way to help him out in some way whether that was by giving him pointers or even hunting for forks (his favorite and practically only food he likes to eat now). It was really nice, as it was weird.

Jim was just at his ends wit with the trolls dancing around him and being so nice. Like he was suddenly so different. He was though, he wasn't human anymore. He didn’t even look or act like a human anymore. He just wanted them to act normal around him, not like he was made of glass.

Jim just wished he knew why there was a sudden change. Was it because he looked like a troll now? Did they really dislike him that much because he was a human? He wasn't even a proper troll though, his mentality seemed to switch at random, one moment he was acting like he used to then the next his troll instincts took over and he was growling at something. It was just so tiresome; he didn't understand any of this. He didn't even want to mention his looks. The few times he glimpsed himself in a reflective surface, his appearance had him scrambling back. He just couldn't bring himself to look at himself anymore.

Jim shook his head. He was going to spend this night with his girlfriend and not worry about his problems right now.

Luckily, despite not being able to taste the food that he made, Claire loved it, and she said it tasted amazing. The buzzing in his mind finally fully calmed down, and he was able to just relax with his girlfriend. They hung out all day (night whatever, since sunlight kills trolls. Will kill him). They talked for hours and dueled and he just got to enjoy being in Claire’s company. However, Claire started to yawn. The dark blue of the night started to lighten, indicating that the day was about to begin, and their new sleep schedule of sleeping in the daytime was about to begin.

“I’m so glad that we finally just got to relax and hang out today,” Claire said, stretching, “But now I’m going to pass out.” Claire smiles at him, her brown eyes filled with affection.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Jim nodded in affirmation but was still feeling restless.

“Also, don’t stay up too long,” Claire scolded, “You need your sleep too, even if you need less.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jim saluted.

Claire chuckles. Then grabs his hands in hers and looks lovingly into his eyes, “I love you, Jim.”

Jim gets a soft smile on his face, “I love you too. And have a good ni- sleep, Claire.” Jim rubs the back of his neck awkwardly at his slip-up.

“I will,” and pulls Jim down to give him a soft kiss and walks away.

Jim sighs happily, all his worries from earlier gone. However, as the morning ticks closer and more and more trolls are starting to hide away in the dark. Jim is once again left to his own thoughts and makes sure that everyone gets hidden away before the sun comes out.

However, before he could spiral into thinking about, well everything, a tall orange troll came up to him. His tan horns framed his mossy colored hair, “Now Trollhunter, I know it’s your duty to protect us, but a youngling such as yourself needs rest too. Why don’t you go to your guardian Blinkous and get some rest now.”

Jim is bewildered but says, “No it’s alright, I’m simply doing rounds to make sure everyone gets in the dark safely.”

The troll has this stern look in his eyes, “Now Trollhunter, a youngling like yourself needs more sleep than us older trolls, and it’s dangerous to still be out when the sunlight is approaching us quickly.”

Jim raises his hands up placating, “I know, I know. However, as a Trollhunter I need to make sure everyone is safe. Besides, I handled Gunmar, I can handle a little sunburn if it comes to it.” Jim tries to joke about the concern by stating that he can handle himself.

However, this doesn’t work as the large troll gasps in horror, “I know younglings are reckless, but not this! I am taking you to your guardian right this instant. There will be no risking your life, young troll.”

“W-what?!” Jim shrieks as the troll picks Jim up like a sack of potatoes and carries him over his shoulders. Jim tries fighting back, but the troll's grip remains strong. Jim eventually gives up, his face burning lavender. Jim’s grateful, though, that most trolls are already inside and are not seeing this embarrassment of Jim’s defeat. A few minutes later, after going across the whole camp, the troll finds the cave that Blinky was in and plops Jim gently down in the cave like he was handling a teddy bear. Jim sighs with relief and proceeds to flop down on the floor, covering his face in embarrassment, not even looking at Blinky.

“Tell your youngling that playing in the sun is no joke. His life is more important than patrolling around the camp when dawn is approaching.” The troll demands of Blinky.

Jim sputtered and shouted out a muffled “Hey!” with his covered face.

However, Jim gets cut off when the larger troll says, “Hush, the adults are talking now.” The troll continues with a glare at Blinky “I expect that our young Trollhunter will know the dangers of the sun when I see him next Blinkous Galadrigal.”

Blinky, bewildered by the whole encounter, concedes, “Of course, Heilad.”

The orange troll then huffs and leaves.

“Well, what is this I hear about playing in the sun, Master Jim?” Blinky says sternly but secretly smiles since Jim can’t see Blinky.

Jim mutters something incorrigible.

“What was that?” Blinky raises his eyebrow.

Jim sighs and uncovers his face, and glares at his mentor, his dad, “I was just going on patrols to make sure everyone was inside and protected from the sun, and just made a joke that since I beat Gunmar I could handle a little sunburn, and then that troll just dragged me here!”

Blinky six eyes go large, “Jim going in the sunlight would kill you! I know that you haven’t been a troll for that long, but it would be much worse than a sunburn.The sun is completely deadly to us!” Then Blinky starts to catastrophize and mutters to himself, “Oh dear, I’ve failed you as your troll guardian in informing you about what you need to know as a troll! I know that I’ve been busy as the leader, but that’s no excuse. I need-”

“Blinky!” Jim shouts. Blinky stops pacing and muttering. Jim breathes out, “I know the sunlight is dangerous to trolls. The first night when I became a troll, I burned myself.”

Blinky takes a moment to process what Jim says, then shouts, “YOU WHAT?!”

Blinky goes over to Jim, who is still on the ground, and frantically looks over him to see if he has any injuries. Once again, infinitely thankful that the armor wasn’t permanently stuck on his son and that now he was dressed in a shirt and shorts.

“Blinky,” Jim tries to get his dad’s attention, but Blinky is too focused on looking at his son for his injury.

“Blinky!” Again nothing.

“DAD!” Jim yells.

Blinky looks startled at his son, as Jim waves frantically at him. Except Blinky zeroes in on Jim’s hand, and specifically the darker splotch on Jim’s left hand.

“Your hand!” Blinky shouts and grabs Jim’s hand and inspects it.

“It’s fine, it barely hurt.” Jim says, looking away.

Jim thinks about that interaction with that troll earlier, Heilad? Then asks out loud, "Why are the trolls treating me so differently now? I can't be that different, can I?!" Then Jim growls and yells, "I'm still me!" And his free hand flings to his mouth, horrified that he growled at his mentor and father figure, and his ears subconsciously droop down.

Blinky looks wide-eyed at Jim and squeezes his hand assured that the hand wasn’t impairing and hurting Jim and reassures him, "Oh Master Jim. Yes, you will always be you. The trolls just now see how truly young you've always been, and younglings like yourself are a precious commodity since Gumm-Gumms have stolen our young, so the trolls are simply treating you like they would any other youngling and are worried for you."

Then Blinky continues, "But Jim, even if you are now half-troll, you still have your heart. A heart far better than mine. You're still a sensational chef. A wondrous friend. The most prodigious Trollhunter." Blinky smiles, his speech growing sincerity with every word and gently grabs Jim's other hand from his face with his left lower arm, and his other lower arm still holds Jim's other hand. Then Blinky forces Jim to look in his eyes with his upper arm by holding Jim's face. "A magnificent son. You may not be fully human anymore, and you may not be fully troll, but you will always be Master Jim to me, and no growls or angry outbursts will stop you from being you, or me from loving my son."

Jim burst into tears, needing to hear those comforting words from Blinky, from his dad.

"Oh, master Jim, it's alright, come here." And Blinky takes Jim in his arms and hugs and comforts him.

Jim cries and cries and eventually a high pitch whine escapes him when he thinks of all the horrible things that have just piled up after he turned into a half-troll, and he whimpers, not liking the new sounds that escape him and keens for his dad. Jim's scared and vulnerable and oh so new to his troll instincts that he doesn't know what to do.

Luckily, Blinky and Jim were already settled on the soft moss-filled ground because as soon after Jim began sobbing, Blinky knew that Jim would want to be held and comforted in his dad's embrace.

"Oh son," Blinky whispers to himself, his heart breaking at Jim's desperate keen, and takes Jim up in his arms cradling him close to his own hearthstone (what would be considered the troll equivalent to a heart) and murmurs sweet reassurances to Jim in both English and Trollish, and runs his fingers through Jim hair to calm him down. Jim holds tightly onto Blinky's suspender strap and sinks into Blinky's hold.

Eventually, Jim's crying subsides, and while his breath still hitches, he looks up into Blinky's six eyes with his sky blues and whispers, "I'm s-sorry." Jim clings shakily on Blinky's suspender and buries his face into his father's torso.

Blinky whispers, "There's nothing to be sorry for," and Jim seems to relax a little, his breath calming down as Blinky continues to card his fingers through Jim's hair and holds Jim. Jim smiles into Blinky’s chest, and mumbles, “Thanks.” Jim’s eyes droop, exhausted from crying and the long day, and falls asleep, feeling warm and protected in his father’s embrace.

Blinky smiles sadly at Jim and states, "I wish I could take away your fears and worries." Blinky sighs, "Even when I said before, "fear is but the precursor of valor.' Your valor, your valor exceeds anyone's, and I am so proud of you, and you can rest, you were victorious. You fought valiantly! I am just so proud to call you my son, and you deserve to have peace and rest as much, if not more than the rest of us. Even if it means telling a certain wizard to take a hike, I'll do my best to ensure your happiness, my son, and I'll always be here for you." Blinky promises.

Notes:

Just wanted to have this out fully on Tumblr. Enjoy!

Next TOA One-shot

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

MR HADES................WHAT ARE WE

Bonus:

[eliounora]

gwen: why haven't you fallen under the spell of the witch who seems to enchant only men? merlin:

[mr-merlin]

Now go get on with whatever you're meant to be doing.

[kateis-cakeis]

You know, I loved how Merlin was such a lil bitch towards Mordred, and while talking about him in S5Ep11.

It's so perfect, we need more of this Merlin in fanfic, like he's so scary! He's so scary and powerful just with words alone! It's wonderful, it's so good. This is the Merlin we should all aspire to write :P

(For the record I'm very very very very very very very very biased here, so goddamn biased, because I genuinely find S5 Merlin to be the hottest version of him, and I'm aroace :P)

[netflixofficial]

in the year of our lord 2023 I have somehow landed on swifty merthur edit tiktok and honestly? valid

[mindlessfandomindulgence]

is there anything better than a new Merlin fic in the year 2023