#chaos med rambles

[justabunchofdragons]

explanations of what they all do under the cut! (information from this website) no option for no opinion because you have to have an opinion (<- my decree as pollmaster)

musculoskeletal system - mechanical support, posture and locomotion

cardiovascular system - transportation of oxygen, nutrients and hormones throughout the body and elimination of cellular metabolic waste

respiratory system - exchange of oxygen and carbon-dioxide between the body and air, acid-base balance regulation, phonation (the production of sound and speech through vocal cords).

nervous system - initiation and regulation of vital body functions, sensation and body movements.

digestive system - mechanical and chemical degradation of food with purpose of absorbing into the body and using as energy.

urinary system - filtration of blood and eliminating unnecessary compounds and waste by producing and excreting urine.

endocrine system - production of hormones in order to regulate a wide variety of bodily functions (e.g. menstrual cycle, sugar levels, etc)

lymphatic system - draining of excess tissue fluid, immune defence of the body.

reproductive system - production of reproductive cells and contribution towards the reproduction process.

integumentary system - physical protection of the body surface, sensory reception, vitamin synthesis.

[spextronaut]

I can’t decide if House getting dicked down would make him better or make him worse but it would definitely do something to him

[chaos-has-theories]

it's mom friend day :) everyone go drink some water

[moltengoldveins]

This is the first ever drawing to be made in space, by Alexei Leonov, titled ‘orbital sunrise’, plus the version he made once he got back to earth :

Leonov narrowly escaped death during his spacewalk. His suit expanded so rapidly in the vacuum of space he couldn’t re-enter the airlock. He had to open a hole in his suit to let out some pressure and shrink the suit enough to fit back inside - he nearly died in the attempt. The first thing he did once he was safe inside his craft was to sketch that piece.

The computers that sent us to the moon were made by lacemakers - the circuits had to be sewn by hand. Old women were the only ones skilled enough to do it. Bra makers made the space suits, too. They couldn’t use seam allowances or pins, and they were working with 20< different layers of fabric, all different thicknesses and textures. Their margin for error was less than 1/32 of an inch. Everything the astronauts wore was handmade.

Neil Armstrong had to land the Apollo 11 manually - the planned landing zone turned out to be a crater, and the computers couldn’t process quite quickly enough. He had 25 seconds of fuel left when they hit dirt. The first ever moon landing was handmade.

We taught the Mars rovers to sing ‘happy birthday’ to themselves. Opportunity served for fifteen years, far long than we’d ever thought it would last on the hard surface of Mars. When Opportunity went dark, its last message was an update on its power reserves and its failing light receptors. In other words, “My battery is low, and it’s getting dark.” We tried hundreds of times to prompt a response, and when we couldn’t reach her, we broadcasted Billie Holiday’s “I’ll Be Seeing You” to her.

…. I don’t. I can’t. Just. We talk a big smack, “the heavens declare the glory of God” or whatever, but do we ever really believe it? Do we sit and look at the sheer freaking awe of the infinity of space? The things it reveals about human nature? The little details that pull our deepest hopes and joys out of us and paint them across the headlines? The farther we get from home the more human we become, seemingly just to spite the disconnect. The greater the distance between us and the little floating jewel we call home, the easier it is to see the image of God in us. I don’t even know how to freaking say this, but if we are made in Gods image then that’s gotta mean something other than “we got two hands two feet and a dumb nose.” It’s gotta be deeper. It’s gotta be what makes us human, all the way down past our bones. And when we reach up and touch the heavens, that Humanity tends to get real easy to see, doesn’t it? Funny, that. I feel like I’m getting sucked into an orbit mentally, going round and round and round. We are a mirror of God’s image, the heavens declare the glory of God, space in all its infinite vastness is a magnifier for our humanity, just by sheer contrast. Humans, God, Space, Humans, God, Space, Humans, God-

You know, old churches during the medieval period believed the first person to be buried in a new cemetery would be trapped forever? They’d become a psychopomp, a guide for the rest of the souls who rested there, protecting them as they passed on and guarding their bodies as they decayed. So, instead of resigning a person to that fate, they’d kill an old guard dog, and they’d bury it first. That’s where the story of the ‘Church Grim’ came from: every cemetery had its own guardian spirit.

You know, the first animal to orbit the planet was also the first thing to ever die in space? Her name was Laika. She was a good dog.

Gotta love that sensation when you get like, eight new interesting science facts four new songs three new longfics two weird conversations and a Really Dope Line Of Dialogue all in a two week period and you’re like ……. This will become a story. I can feel it. They all went in the same mental pot on the back burner of my brain I can feel it simmering I just haven’t unlocked the lid yet. This is like holding a bucket of mixed kitchen cleaning supplies and watching it, Knowing it made chloroform and Waiting

[joenotexotic99]

Hey friend, I’m a new fan of band of brothers and have been reading many of works and I’m greatly enjoying them❤️ and was wondering if you could write headcanons of doc roe and speirs finding out there gf has surgical scars on her chest/stomach? I had a heart operation when I was a baby that left 2 scars. One horizontal acoss my stomach and one vertical on my chest and stomach. I would so appreciate it:) ofc take your time and feel free to add any other characters if you’d like. I hope you have a nice day:)

A/n you are beautiful anon <3 thank you for the request. Sorry for being inactive. Writing is sorta a side thing and I stopped because things got hectic and I never got back onto the wagon. Thanks for the patience

Warnings: medical talk and scars n'stuff, fluff, possibly poor writing, blood (nothing crazy,) language

<3

Masterlist

Eugene roe

-He honestly has seen so many scars in his life that he didn't really think much when you showed him. But he understands that you are not by any means just another trooper, you are far more than that. As you explained their origin, Eugene sat patiently and listened to you. Nothing but adoration and care in his eyes. You weren't scared that he would judge; you knew roe, it's just you don't openly share you have them. Roe placed his hand on your head and kissed you before bringing you into his arms

“You're the most beautiful person I have ever seen, thank you for sharing”

Ronald Speirs

-It was an accident when he saw. You were changing and he walked in. This was early in the relationship and you weren't quite ready to share. As you were quick to frantically hide the scars, speirs simply watched you. You apologized and rambled on about how you got them and how he was never supposed to see them like this and if he wants to leave that's ok. You kept rambling nervously. Ron walked over to kiss you so you could stop.

“Don't ever hide your scars from me again, they're nothing to be ashamed of”

“So you're not going to leave me?”

“I'd be a fool to leave you”

Richard Winters

-You were a medic. It was in Carentan. You had gotten a tear in your uniform, luckily you had a spare. You and Winters had been dating since Camp Mackall, yet time was not something you had to see each other naked. You were in the jury-rigged med bay changing. As you lifted your shirt, Winters, oh so perfectly timed, walked in. His eyes immediately caught a view of your scars. At first, his facial expression was surprise, then confusion, then worry. But before you could let this man's thoughts get the best of him, you explained their origin. Winters stepped closer and took you into his embrace, you could hear his steady heartbeat.

"These scars... why didn't you tell me?"

"They've been there since I was a baby. I didn't want you to worry.”

“You don't have to hide anything from me, I'm here till the end”

Babe Heffron

-German artillery rained down onto the Ardennes Forest. Chaos was everywhere as people ran for shelter and trees collapsed. A part of a tree happened to impale you, it wasn't severe but it needed to be tended to. When things quieted down you seeked out Roe. You found him with Babe. You and Babe Heffron had grown close over the past few months, sharing fleeting moments of warmth and connection. Both of them saw you then the blood. Roe went to his kit, Babe had a slight panic attack. You told Babe that it looked worse than it was. Eugene confirmed it after he told you to remove your shirt. That's when babe saw the scars. His eyes widened with concern and curiosity. Before he could voice his worries, you offered an explanation. Babe accepted it and when Eugene left after patching you up Babe went to your side.

“you know, you fucking awesome with those.”

“So I'm not a freak?”

"Sweetheart, you are the most drop dead gorgeous person I have ever seen”

David Webster

-It was Holland, during a rare quiet night. You and Webster have grown closer and closer ever since Toccoa.You both took a walk near the edge of the village, the conversation turned personal. The air was crisp, and you felt comfortable enough to share more of yourself with him. You lifted your shirt to show him. Like with roe you were nervous but you knew him and trusted him. His eyes widened in surprise, and he reached out gently, his fingers tracing the lines with curiosity.

"Where did these come from? Are you okay?"

"I've had them since I was a baby. Surgery.”

"You're incredible, you know that?"

[milkywayhou]

You've Got Email (König x OC: Medical Student!Snow) PART III

Summary: When the Colonel from some Private Military Corporation group accidentally send KorTac's secret file via email to a random civilian girl and now they develop some weird relationship.

or

Snow now overthinking about how fucked up her situation can be

TWs: Slow burn (not really), Implies stalking behavior. I just wrote this for fun.

Words Count: 1.9k (The email contain 1.3+ words while the rest was Snow's 4Chan post)

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/13/23 at 01:38 am

Subject: A late night conspiracy ramble…

Hey!

Once again it’s a late night and these weary med student brain cells are firing off all kinds of…interesting theories and connections, to say the least.

For example, okay hear me out, but what if Big Pharma is actually run by ancient shape-shifting lizard people from the center of the hollow earth who feed on human adrenal gland fluid harvested during rituals conducted at Bohemian Grove, and they started the pharmaceutical industry just to get us all addicted to medication so we’re docile little cash cows?!

I know, I know, it’s utterly ridiculous…buuuuut it would explain a few things haha! Anyways, somehow my winding thought process led me back to pondering your own doubtless intriguing backstory, oh mysterious Colonel.

You’ve given mysterious snippets here and there, but never a straight history lesson, you sly dog. Care to unravel some of those shadows for this thirsty student? Like how’d you get into this line of work anyway?

Maybe share something to take my mind off lizard people conspiracies before this insomnia kills me. You’ve got me curious now!

Conspiracizing but also bedridden,

Snow

----

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/13/23 at 02:01 am

Subject: RE: A late night conspiracy ramble…

You’ve a vivid imagination, to be sure. As for my own history…it’s nothing so fanciful, I’m afraid.

I grew up isolated, with only books as company. Social skills proved…challenging. The bullying was constant. All I wanted was to disappear into the quiet of nature, far from the incessant noise inside my head.

By 17 I was desperate to escape, and the military offered just that. I dreamed of being a sniper – controlling chaos from afar through calm precision. But my frame and restlessness didn’t suit remaining still for long. They saw potential elsewhere. They assigned as an insertion specialist instead. It was difficult, but taught discipline. In time I learned to turn noise into focus, chaos into strategy.

Now I protect others as I wished to be protected then. It brings…solace, of a kind. Purpose, where once was only turmoil.

Get some rest, Snow. Sweet dreams.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/13/23 at 02:14 am

Subject: RE: RE: A late night conspiracy ramble…

I see.

Thank you for sharing that with me. I can’t imagine how difficult those experiences must have been, but I’m grateful you found your calling in spite of them. It takes real strength of character to turn trauma into purpose like that.

Also, I should say the bullying says far more about their weakness of spirit than anything about you. Their loss, as it brought you to where you’re meant to be – helping people in your own way. I can’t help but smile thinking of a tiny bookworm König dreaming of sniping lizards in the woods! Well, you may not be in the trees anymore but it seems your aim is truer than ever.

Thinking on childhoods, mine wasn’t all sunshine either as an awkward kid. Let’s just say blending in was…challenging, to put it lightly. Between moving a lot after my parents split and living with various relatives, school was an escape into study. Seemed the safest route to gain some footing and make the family proud, at least. Kept me busy avoiding the realities outside books for a while too, I suppose. Somehow I suspect lonely bookworm me and you may have gotten along splendidly if our paths crossed back then!

Anyways, not sure where I’m going with this aside from reflecting our younger selves may have found solace in one another, strange as that sounds now in these roles. At least we’ve come into our own in the end, in our own ways. Small favors and all that.

Just a light note before sleep – rest well, König!

Your friend,

Snow

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 08:27 pm

Subject: Essay Woes and Cadaver Flashbacks

Ugh,

My apologies for this incoherent word vomit you’re about to endure. I’m approximately 5-7 days into an all-nighter essay crunch and my last two brain cells are DANCING.

This final assignment is killing me dead but at least after it’s over I can finally be done with med school! *insert jubilant celebration emoji* Of course that’s if I don’t starve to death first living off instant ramen. I’m positively wasting away without a decent meal. At this rate they’ll be teaching anatomy lectures using my lifeless body.

Whoever invents a magic food delivery service that beams freshly cooked meals directly to overworked students is getting a freaking Nobel Prize. A girl can dream, right? At this point I’d kill a man for a good pizza. *hideshypotheticalmurderweaponbehindback*

Anyways, in my spiral of delirium my thoughts keep wandering back to that fateful day months ago when I randomly received your classified KorTac email out of nowhere. Still bewildered how you even had my address to begin with…were you watching me, Colonel? *pretends to be frightened but is secretlyflattered*

Getting that file was kinda scary at first, not gonna lie. Reminded me of the first time we received our cadavers – that creepy feeling of being watched even after leaving the lab. Is that what it’s like being you, always paranoid someone has intel on you? :)

Anyways, enough gibbering – just wanted to share my pain and also wonder again how our wacky email friendship began! Stay safe out there in whatever shady places your work takes you. And send help – I mean, good luck with all the classified stuff!

Tired and Hangry,

Snow

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 08:40 pm

Subject: WHAT DID YOU DO

KÖNIG I SWEAR TO GOD

I LITERALLY JUST GOT A DELIVERY AT MY DOOR. IT WAS PIZZA AND IT WAS ALREADY PAID FOR

DUDE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T HACK INTO MY LOCATION OR SOME SHIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE??

I’M FREAKING OUT A LITTLE NOT GONNA LIE. I KNOW YOU HAVE ACCESS TO SHADY TECH BUT PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T TRACK ME DOWN

I was joking in my last email! Sort of! Please say this was all just a coincidence. I don’t need some extra secret stalker on top of everything else ;____;

Explain yourself soldier man!!! My paranoia can only be quelled with answers.

Sending mildly panicked regards,

Snow

----

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/28/23 at 09:12 pm

Subject: RE: WHAT DID YOU DO

Snow,

I assure you, any capabilities related to surveillance are reserved strictly for operations.

As for your delivery, consider it a small kindness from one overworked soul to another. Now eat, regain strength, and get back to that essay. You’ve proven quite resourceful in pulling secrets from shadows. But some mysteries deserve to remain.

Worry not and carry on with your studies.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 09:25 pm

Subject: Spill. Everything. Now.

I appreciate the pizza bailout, don’t get me wrong. But my paranoia has now reached DEFCON 1 levels and it WILL NOT stand down until I get some answers. So spill. Just how much do you actually know about me? Do you have my address on file somewhere? Photos? Socials? Pet peeves? Middle name??

I understand need-to-know for operations, but this is need-to-know for my own peace of mind. Please assuage these frazzled med student nerves and assure me you’re not some mysterious stalker Colonel (unless that’s just part of your charm). I’ll even send new Luna's pics in return! Consider it a debriefing – you give, you get. Otherwise the wheels will keep spinning in my head…

Sincerely (and only mildly obsessively),

Snow

----------

>>Anonymous

05/29/23(Mon)22:37:10 No:132926391

Colonel Stalker Dude is freaking me out

Image: [Confused pepe scratching head.jpg 230kb, 400x400]

>Be me, a totally tired out and broke student

>Remember getting those shady files months ago

>Thought Colonel dude was cool and weird pen pal

>Even started to like him after long talks

>But NOW he knows my address???

>WTF how long has he been watching me

>On one hand it’s creepy AF but kinda flattering a high rank dude cares

>Other hand I don't want a secret stalker or to get disappeared

>Free food is nice but feeling stalked is not cash money

>Used to have bit of crush but now I'm skeeved TBH

>What do? Can't go to cops cuz questions. No close friends/fam

>Too broke to move or change info

>Maybe he’s just lonely but also maybe he climbs in my window ;____;

>What if he takes my organs in the night like some human harvester?!

>Only protection is my cat Luna and she's useless in a fight ;_;

>Try to be positive and asking him how much he know

>Currently waiting for his replied while I was writing this post

>Anons pls help, should I keep talking to possible stalker man?

Don’t want my organs harvested but also don’t wanna waste a free food connection

Very conflicted and slightly paranoid this girl is in DIRE need of advice

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)22:45:19 No:132926405: >>132926391(OP)#

Sounds like a thriller romance novel lol! He probs just cares in his own intense way. Keep talking but be safe, maybe feel him out more? Could be nnothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:16:08 No:132926439: >>132926405#

IKR it does sound like a book! But what if it’s a prequel to a snuff film?! I’ll try to subtly find out wtf he knows without pissing him off…

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:37:12 No:132926502: >>132926391(OP)#

LOL girl chill no one climbin in ur windows. He prolly just admires ur spirit. Keep lines of comms open, set boundaries if needed but relax!

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:45:01 No:13292623: >>132926502#

You’re right, I do overthink! I’ll calm my farm. Thank u stranger, maybe he’s just a bored soldier man and not a psycho (´。＿。｀)

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)00:25:31 No:13292684: >>132926391(OP)#

Change ur info anyway, maybe he won’t go to ur new stuff. And get some locks/alarms jfc. Play it safe.

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)00:42:44 No:13292692: >>13292684#

Can’t change anything, I used my student email! And too broke for moves or upgrades, these loans gotta last :’( but self defense is a must, thanks!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:28:19 No:132922735: >>132926391(OP)#

Send Luna pics. Also tell col u feel weird, set ground rules like no stalking. Maybe he just wants friendship. Be safe!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:46:31 No:132922757: >>132922735#

[sleepy_Luna.jpg 1,3mb 1000x1000] You’re so right, communication is key. I’ll lay it all out clearly and see how it goes. Thx fren <3

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:59:36 No:132922805: >>132926391(OP)#

Maybe he liiiiikes you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) whatever happens keep us posted! We’re invested now lol

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:08:55 No:132922822: >>132922805#

omggg don't say that!! Now I'll be paranoid AND flustered X_X But I definitely will update y'all, this is quite the melodrama unfolding

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:15:36 No:132922811: >>132926391(OP)#

Girlll tell that stalker if he wants a piece he gonna have to pay your tuition first! Then maybe you’ll reconsider the organ harvesting. Gotta respect your worth sis 💅

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:23:12 No:132922834: >>132922811#

Omg you genius!!! If he’s really interested he can sponsor my broke ass med student life lol. Alleviate my debt and he gets unlimited Luna pics, win-win!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)03:01:46 No:132922839: >>132926391(OP)#

Lmao girl you been reading too many thrillers! Military guys have ways of finding people, changing email won’t do shit. Just ask him wtf is up like a normal person

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)03:39:44 No:132922926: >>132922839#

Ugh you make a good point, confronting is smarter than hiding. But what if he locks me in a dungeon for being nosy?! I have no one to turn to if I disappear ;-;

------

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/30/24 at 03:45am

Subject: RE: Spill. Everything. Now.

Snow,

Let’s just say I know more than you think. But rest assured, your privacy and safety remain my priority here.

As for debriefs, some questions are best left unanswered, even between…friends. Maintaining mystique has its place too, no?

Focus on your studies. I’ll focus on ensuring no more interruptions are needed.

Now get some rest. You’ve an early lab tomorrow if I’m not mistaken.

Sweet dreams.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/30/23 at 03:47am

Subject: DUDE.

HOW.

----

This one was short because I've been busy with other stuff hahah. It sure took some twisted turn hmmM? or maybe poor Snow just over reacted ;)

Also love, comment and reblogged are really appreciate! 💖

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter twenty four

close to home | chapter twenty four

plot: Daryl finds out that the reader set off, while the reader regrets her decision while she finds disaster on the road at every turn

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 1,116 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd A/N: thank you for reading!!!

Daryl sighed with relief when he saw Michonne through the bushes and made his way toward her. Noah was on his trail, seeing all the unasked questions on her face. She led him and Noah into the church, where everyone was asking questions at once. 

Daryl explained what happened and how Noah knew Beth. He explained what happened to Carol and how the hospital worked. That both Carol and Beth were now slaves there and that they needed to help them. 

He didn’t notice you weren’t there in the chaos of explaining everything to Rick, and when he looked around, Rick noticed. 

“I gotta talk to you,” Rick said, “About (Y/N).”

Daryl looked around the room again as his heart sped up. He didn’t see the damn cat, either. “What about her?”

“She’s gone,”

His mouth went dry, and his head swooned. “Whatta ya mean she gone?” He yelled. 

Rick rubbed his head and took a step back, “Abraham. They wanted to leave. I needed their help. Glenn made a deal. They’re on their way to D.C.”

“What?” Daryl asked. 

“She went with them. She couldn’t part from Maggie. She told me… she asked me to tell you she was sorry and knew you would understand.”

“I don’t!” Daryl yelled, grabbing his crossbow and heading towards the door. 

“Where are you going?”

“To find her! Bring ‘em back,” Daryl said. 

“Daryl…” Rick caught up with the archer and grabbed his arm. “They left this morning. I have a map of what route they’re taking. Once we figure out Beth and Carol, we’re going after them.”

***

thirteen hours earlier

You were sitting on the bus by yourself, your arms crossed and your legs propped up on the backrest of the seat in front of you. Tora was lying next to you, sleeping soundly, and your bag kept bumping into your feet. 

Your side was hurting, but it was better this morning. With all the pain meds getting you through the worst, you were sure it would get better now. It still ached, but you’d managed to perfectly fine this morning. And Rick made sure you took enough of the medkit to see yourself through. You cried when you said goodbye to him and Carl, and thanked them endlessly for letting you be a part of the family. 

It was hot in the bus, and being locked in here with people who hadn’t bathed in who knows how long didn’t help. And being so heartbroken over leaving the rest of your family only made things worse. You didn’t know what happened to Daryl and Carol. They could be dead for all you knew; you had to live with it now. You could only hope and pray that they’re okay and will be leaving to follow you soon. 

As much as you hated leaving everyone and how much you longed for your best friend already, you didn’t regret it. Being with Maggie, with Glenn, they were your family in a way that nobody else was. She was your blood, and he was basically a brother now. You couldn’t have let them go. So you didn’t regret your decision. It just really sucked that it was basically made for you. 

You ignored the group as they talked. You weren’t interested in hearing Eugene ramble on about how he will save the world. What he said didn’t make sense anyway. And you certainly didn’t care about listening to Rosita talk about haircuts. 

You just wanted to sulk in the back of the bus and wish that things were different. 

You rolled your eyes when you heard Eugene ramble on about the Human Genome Project and then closed them to hopefully get some sleep. 

Some sort of explosion up front made you jump, and the bus shifted dramatically as Abraham tried to get control of the vehicle. You grabbed the seat tightly and looked ahead, just in time to watch Abraham hit a car, and then you were airborne. 

Your head smacked against the side of the bus as it landed, and you yelled in pain. Your vision was blurry as you tried to sit up. There was broken glass and smoke filling the air, and you stumbled as you tried to get up.

Tora was meowing in anger, and you looked for her, wincing, and finally found her. The bag landed on her, and she was all tangled up but seemed okay for the most part. You heard Abraham calling for Eugene, and Glenn came to check on you. Once he saw you were okay, he gave your arm a squeeze and then went to help Abraham. 

You quickly knelt down and put Tora in the bag. You could hear the walkers assembling outside; the last thing you needed was for her to bolt. Slinging the bag on your back, you grabbed your scattered weapons and walked towards the door. Eugene and Tara had already made their way out. 

Maggie yelled at you to stand back and let them handle it that you were still healing, but you ignored her and worked to kill a walker and then some. 

When they finally dropped, you knelt on the ground and breathed heavily. Tora was meowing in the bag, and you let her out. 

“Are you okay?” Maggie asked. 

You nodded and looked over when Abraham started yelling--again. You rolled your eyes and grabbed the water Maggie offered you. 

There was nothing you wanted more than to sit down, but the group wanted to keep moving, so you didn’t complain. 

***

You reached a small town a few hours after sunset and found a library to hold up in for the night. You were more than happy to see where you would be staying and couldn’t wait to lie down and sleep for the night. 

But there were things to do first, and you all worked together to get the place in tip-top shape. Before long, the place was decent enough, and you sat down to drink toilet water and eat the little rations you had left. 

Tora curled up near your legs and stared up at you with her big eyes, and you felt a wide range of emotions. You would miss seeing Carl give her love and attention and then watch her offer affection to anyone who would give her food. 

You reached down and gave her pets behind the ear and then her belly. Then you finally laid down and slept.

[strayharmony943]

Hewo, I'm back at it with the scenarios and maybe questions, who knows. Quick reminder that y'all don't have to respond but it's appreciated if you do :)

1: Question #1

Does your bug have a crush on anyone? Or do they already have someone.

2: question #2

Bug's birthday? {This has been asked millions of times but hey why not a refresher?}

3: Scenario #1 Mafia au. (I'm horrible at writing so please, bear with me on all of these.)

Azren has been relatively quiet lately. Unlike his normal quiet.... He's been avoiding your bug and everyone else, only appearing in emergencys or meetings....

But, While your bug was heading to their room for the night. They hear rustling from Azren's, and deciding to check in on him...Once they enter they see Azren looking for something, and hear him mumble a lot of stuff.

"No no no, where is it, why now!? I-i need them...." Azren mutters, unaware of your bugs presence.

Your bug: "Uh..... Azren, what are you doing?"

Azren nearly jumps but responds "O-oh...my bipolar medication........I-i need it... o-otherwise bad t-things h- happen..."

°{Some info on Mafia Azren. When his bipolar first appeared, was when calamity was forcibly removed from Azren's body, causing the empty space in his mind to be filled with an alternate conscience... The doctor's convinced Azren that if he didn't take his meds, horrible things will happen to those he cares for. But the meds only suppressed Azren's Magic and a little of the separate conscience. [causing him to never discover what he's able to do until now I guess.] The separate conscience is the more quiet side. But there's a third which is the insane one. (The one the bugs first meet.) So. Yeah traumatizing my OC's is neat :3}° please don't mind my lore rambling.

[I don't have anymore cuz my brain isn't working]

Tags-

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii

@insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow

@rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf

@littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943

@proxdragon @tiefling-chaos

@threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry

@lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @not-5-rats

@astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin

@megapugman @reefhastoomanyaccs @kaydenskiwi @greaysharkboi @itzscribz

@blingzyya @atonalasmr

[ricky-tiki-tah]

Ego Headcanons: The Cranky Crew

The Crank House is home to most of Ethan Nestor’s egos, The Cranky Crew.

Mad Mike(he/him): ally. Outgoing and good with kids. Older twin brother to Heapass. Constantly smells sweet. Uses his power to keep the Crank House supplied with ADHD meds. Surprisingly very responsible. - Powers: can conjure up both ice cream and any drug.

Heapass(he/him): aro gnc. Talks in third person. Friends with Yancy. The younger twin brother of Mike, later the unofficial younger brother of all the Cranks. Likes watching Mrs T’s animated stories. - Powers: always “knows a guy”.

Mrs Thompson(she/her): ally. Grandmother and parental figure to the Cranks. A part time novel writer. Fingers are always stained with typewriter ink. Enjoys sitting and having morning coffee with Father E - Powers: anything she writes becomes an animation.

Father Ethan(he/him): ally. Originally started as a religious figure, later morphing into a father figure. Is the Dad ego. Keeps the house running with Mrs T and is always willing to listen to the others. - Powers: a calming presence.

Blank(he/they): nonbinary aroace. Depressed anxious glitchy boy. Eyes drip black ink similar to how The Host’s drips blood. In a relationship with Eef. - Powers: can teleport through screens.

Postman(he/him): questioning ally. Is a mailman. Doesn’t live in Crank House. Knows many self defense techniques. Really only talks to Father E and Blank. - Powers: very fast/strong.

Neil Neilson(he/him): unlabeled. Rambles a lot. Runs a radio show. Not altogether there. Loves and shares an apartment with Athiel. - Powers: super jumps.

Unus Mori(he/they/any): agender aroace. Is the embodiment of Death aka The Grim Reaper. His shadow morphs between normal and the classic reaper with a scythe. A goofy guy but can be serious. Chaos besties with Leak. Not usually seen without Annus(QPR? Idk). - Powers: Death

Athiel(Xe/Xem): unlabeled. Alien cousin of Peevles. Loves and shares an apartment with Neil. - Powers: unknown.

Bernice(she/they): demigirl lesbian. “I’m just a California gurl”. Loves Alice. Gamer girl. Older sister of the Cranks. - Powers: none.

Alice Valentine(she/her): trans lesbian. Confident girly. Loves dancing. Loves Bernice. Is the older sister of Gothan. - Powers: entrancing voice.

Gothan(he/him): gnc gay. Younger sibling of Alice. In love with Elliot(e-boy from UA). Goth softy. - Powers: undetermined.

Melon Man(he/it): unlabled (no one knows). Feral lil guy. Rambles a lot. Always smells like watermelons. Follows Challenge McGee around to help and watch. - Powers: strong.

Gongoozler(it/it’s): agender aroace. A siren. Contrary to popular belief, it has legs. It enjoys spending time with Merthan in the pool. Can breath underwater. - Powers: glowing eyes and enchanting voice lure it’s victims.

Merthan(he/him): ace. A merman. Spends most of his time with Gooz. Has an aquarium like room in the house and many water tunnels. - Powers: can talk to sea life.

Maidgameplays(any pronouns): genderfluid pan. Nicknamed May. Takes care of the house. Makes good coffee. Always smells fresh. - Powers: cleans like Mary Poppins.

Security Eef(he/him): pan. Doesn’t need sleep. Runs security. In a relationship with Blank. Very jumpy. - Powers: technokinesis.

Challenge McGee-Allen(he/him): ally. Can and will turn anything into a challenge. Happy to have Mel join him in challenges. - Powers: indestructible.

Yale Nestor(they/them): nonbinary aroace. Y/N, the District Attorney in WKM since Ethan was the cameraman for nearly the entire thing. My OC(?). Friends with Heapass. - Powers: teleports through mirrors.

The Cranky Crew are open to questions :)

[justabunchofdragons]

ok new intro post :) hi im chaos im a 1st year med student in the uk and a lover of many things like nature and also poetry and also copper. fascinating stuff.

current interests: whitepine, house md, d20 (mismag, fantasy high), embroidery, scrapbooking, poetry (theoretically)

if u need anything trigger tagged shoot me an ask and i'll endeavour to do my best with it! i'd rly rly appreciate if mutuals tagged unreality posts :')

@siriusstudies is my more 'professional' studyblr and @chaosstudiesmed is for random thoughts and observations abt med school + cool medical stuff in general so that i don't bore or ick anyone out on here! sjkfjfg

@repressionmd - house md blog!!

@chaos--crafting - (inactive) mineblr

@augustsattic - (SO INACTIVE) writing + poetry blog

@chaostakesphotos - photography blog!

---

& headmate blogs because its only fair :) most of these blogs are inactive but if anyone shows up here's quick navigation to their little houses

@quiteafewdragons - my husband tom <3 (he/they/ae)

@coppercellar - my partner tracker !! (it/rot)

@gunmetal-bones - our resident knight clem <3 (they/any?)

@tulipsandnarcissus - cohost? amethyst (any/all)

@drinkingwithcupid - the chalice cluster (collective they/xe)

[slenderofthejoker]

Fun facts with mod!

(Some will just be reiterating already mentioned things and some will be new, this is just a fun excuse to ramble)

They/them will be used for clarity

WILDCARD

-Wc is mentally in their early 40's and physical age is unknown (Just 'old' (Younger then Pink and likely older then Dahlia, they just have weird aging) despite how they act they are older then they seem.

How Wc acts is partially an act and not completely authentic.

Wc is 9ft tall without heels (9'6" with their usual heeled boots or other heeled footwear. They like wearing heels, especially the stompy platform kind that makes them weigh a ton to make stepping on people hurt more.)

-Wc knows how to use technology and (used to) have a phone and uses things like reminders and sticky notes and color coordinated flash cards to help them keep on task and remember things that they would forget others.

-They have reminders in place to take their meds and HEAVILY relied on the internet and their note systems to do things like cook and care for the other suits growing up. (Without those reminders to keep them on track they are….chaos in the kitchen and need very specific and direct instructions (Wildcard was asked to wash the veggies and was going to wash them with soap until it was clarified to NOT)

-Wildcard was forced to be masc growing up and transitioned to become trans masc early into life and continued their transition even after being free of their parents.

Wildcard is comfortable with their transition and has taken it to be something that is their choice instead and is now a trans masc pangender bundle of chaos who's learning to be truly happy in their own skin.

-Wildcard is Aroace (Indifferent possibly cupio romantic and apothisexual) and cupio/grayplatonic (Generally open to friendship and allyship but doesn't experience platonic attraction very often, its very hit or miss) and demi-queerplatonic

-Wildcard's teeth are like a sharks, constantly growing more and more in rows to replace them and keep them constantly sharp (Wildcard will eat them like hard candy or in teeth soup to regain the lost calcium) They will also offer to make teeth soup those close to them (…..generally this is declined, the other suits and their platonic partner all refuse to eat it. It's basically just a normal stew but with the addition of teeth)

-Wc collects cards, dice and other related thing and knows many tricks with them. They can play most cards games and can make card towers (when they have the patience they will zone out for hours making one then forget about it and leave them in inconvenient places) they can also perform a few magic tricks with cards and coins as well as slight of hand to pickpocket.

-Wc has literal folders on each of their siblings and all their siblings crimes and whatnot, has no intention of revealing this to others but will use it to make PowerPoints to lecture them on occasion (…they are very long and very detailed (if a bit all chaotic) powerpoints and you can not escape till its over)

-Wildcard requires enrichment in the form of chew toys (or people when they allow it (most don't because their teeth are deadly sharp and they will forget their own strength when zoned out) bone crushing hugs and affection (Wildcard is sensory seeking) playing cards can be used as an intimidation tactic and a way to keep their hands busy, running around, parkour and laser pointers are also helpful (warning do not use laser pointer anywhere enclosed or by other people, Wc WILL go through walls and people to get the laser.)

-Caffeine knocks wildcard out, give them a cup of anything caffeinated and expected them conked out somewhere like an oversized cat in half an hour. (Most of the time it will be odd and outright uncomfortable looking places or on an unlucky person that has become a bed/living plush to wildcards death grip (warning accidental asphyxiation may occur))

-Mod does not know HOW Wildcard managed to make friends, but they did…somehow (also they made friends (outside Splendorpoet) before Pink did which is even stranger/funnier)

-Wildcard will eat just about anything (or anyone….unless they are a close friend/sibling/partner or considered off limits for being close to one of the previous mentioned)

-Wildcard often paints his nails and is working on getting a full sleeve of tattoos of those important to them (….Hearts, Splenderpoet and Antonia's have yet to be added) Wildcard has debated getting piercings but never chosen to get any. They have also started to wear makeup more casually now.

-Wildcard will mope and become very depressed on occasion when they think they're really upset any of their siblings (or Pink) or when they learn something they deem 'horrific)

-is equal parts ridiculously smart and observant and oblivious dumbass

-Doesn't celebrate their own birthday so known of the suits actually know WHEN Wildcard's birthday is.

-Loves raven and used to have a pet one when they were a child. Also loves cats, but cats generally HATE Wc. They will claw and scratch and hiss and generally attack Wildcard (Wildcard will gladly accept having their face clawed to death as they coo at how cute the cat is, they are undeterred)

-Is generally very loud, does TRY to remember to be quieter around those more noise sensitive (Pink HAS kicked luck out on a few occasion's they've visited for being too loud and stressing others out telling them to run or go for a hunt in eir territory or SOMETHING to get the energy out and to come back after they're calmer.) is working on their volume control.

-Can do formal dancing and play (….the piano I think?) but generally prefers to not, but on occasion will get a whim to try to dance with whoever's closest (CAN formal dance like a walt but will do it more fast paced for the fun of it and will dip and spin and keep the dance partner on their toes (…and keep them from falling which has almost happened on many occasions)

-Wildcard is not allowed to be around Dahlia or the little dears without supervision (mostly for being loud and the swearing), as well as with others children….it is debatable if their parent(s)/guardian(s) will allow Wildcard around them mostly because Wildcard can be a lot for some (Wildcard is very protective of children and will do anything to make sure they're safe! Doesn't mean they're…good with them, they try their best.)

-Wildcard is like if a dog was a cat.

[skylarkking]

Now that I'm not stoned out of my mind from pain meds (for now) I believe I can share an AU of mine with some clarity and cohesiveness and also with a shameless OC x Optimus idea. It takes place in TFP BUT with changes to the lore for more depth. Infodump rambles under cut.

Basically wth the whole lore thing you have your original 13 primes but they aren't called that. Instead they are called the 13 Knights of Primus.

Basically the 13 Knights were servants of Primus during the beginning of time and they were responsible for maintaining Primus's relic, that relic being Cybertron itself. Primus granted the 13 Knights the ability to create in order to maintain Cybertron. However, Megatronus would discover that they also had the ability to destroy.

When this revelation was discovered, Primus's counterpart Unicron would emerge from his realm to investigate. Since Primus is the creator God and Unicron was the destroyer God, Unicron saw the Knights as a threat to his domain. After all, how dare the Creator make something that could destroy? It was an insult and a violation of their pact to keep eachother balanced (Primus creating things that Unicron can destroy and Unicron destroying things so that Primus could create).

In Unicron's fit of rage over the betrayal of his trust he too violated the pact by creating the 13 Heralds of Unicron. These heralds were counterparts to the Knights and they would become guardians of Unicron's relic (that being Earth). However the Knights would discover the Heralds and a battle between them would shake the cosmos in a way that would alter the very fabric of reality.

Each Knight that fell a Herald would follow. The amount of death and chaos from it would cause Megatronus to go mad from grief, resulting in him accidently killing Solus during an outburst where he pleaded for peace between the Knights and Heralds.

Solus's spark would become the Allspark and her body The Well of Allsparks, a permanent reminder of the tragedy.

This would trigger a series of events that would result in Megatronus being killed by one of the other Knights and becoming known as "The fallen." However, it would also cause a Herald to rebel against his brothers and sisters, earning him the title of "The Risen."

The Risen would actually stop the conflict by killing the other Heralds on his own. This of course angered Unicron so violently that Unicron attacked Primus's relic directly just to spite Primus, the remaining Knights, and The Risen.

Working together they would banish Unicron back into his realm and force him to go into a deep sleep. But not without a cost.

Since the Heralds were directly connected to Unicron just like the Knights were with Primus, The Risen would end up perishing in the calamity. However, his spark would not be destroyed.

Instead, it would end up returning to Cybertron after drifting among the stars for eons. Similar to how Optimus in the series is the reincarnation of the 13th original prime (in this AU the 13th Knight) The Risen would also be reincarnated.

Fast forward to pre-war Cybertron, The Risen would be reincarnated into a rather.... unique individual. I have yet to give him a name but I am leaning towards Emersus.

Emersus was mad in the eyes of the High Caste because of his rebellious and chaotic nature (blame the Herald heritage lol). He would often say things and do things that would purposefully expose the High Caste's corruotion and manipulation. They would perform Empurata on him, but that only made things WAAAAY worse. His "madness" would become even more voletile.

He would end up killing an Elite Guard member (at the time, the cybertronian version of a cop), and he would end up being sentenced to the Pits. He would climb up the ranks and meet Megatron, known at the time as Megatronus. The pair would duke it out and end up in a draw with both warriors exhausted and badly wounded.

After getting patched up Megatronus would speak to Emersus to find out more about him. Emersus would tell his story to Megatronus where he found out that they shared rhe same views of the High Caste and its corruption.

Emersus would befriend Megatronus and the pair would become a tag team in the arena. After some time Megatronus would introduce Emersus to Orion.

To say Emersus would go from IDW Whirl level energy to a flustered mess would be an understatement. Emersus wasn't sure what he felt for the archivist, but it was something.

That feeling would continue to grow the more the pair interacted with eachother. He kept the feeling in check for the most part and hide it deep inside himself, something he would end up regretting.

After another run in with the Elite Guard, Emersus would be put to trial and found to be guilty of an absorbent amount of crimes, most of which he didn't even commit. They would then banish him from Cybertron and launch him into space in a stasis cell.

That cell would drift through space and eventually crash in the artic circle on earth. Emersus's frame would fly out of the pod and bury itself in the deep snow and ice.

Fast forward millions of years, Emersus would be discovered by human scientists which then leads to a rather hilarious interaction between them and agent Fowler.

Basically the scientists were exploring an ice cave when they saw the one optic mech frozen solid with his head staring at them. Of course he couldn't see them as he was in stasis lock, but imagine you turn around in a dimly lit ice cave and you see a frozen one eye bot just staring back at you.

To say the scientists got quite the scare would be an understatement. Of course this discovery would send agent Fowler out and then the Autobots.

Ratchet would discover that Emersus was still alive somehow and the bots would manage to break him out of the ice. When Emersus was brought back to the base to thaw and hopefully be revived Optimus would stay close by.

The others didn't understand why their Prime (oh yeah, forgot to mention that those who inherit the matrix are still called Primes but that's after it was passed down a few times and the matrix is essentially the keystone to Cybertron but i digress) was acting this way and it wasn't until Ratchet brought it up that Optimus told them of their history.

Of course Emersus would do what Emersus does best and scare the slag out of the Autobots. He would shoot up from the medical berth screaming "NO! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME! ITS A LIE!" thinking he was still back on Cybertron. He would then stiffen up with shocks of electricity and fall to the floor like a sack of hammers.

After everyone had calmed down from the rather terrifying outburst, Ratchet would run some diagnostics on Emersus and explain that, due to the long term deep freeze, a lot of Emersus's body and processor was badly damaged. Ratchet could try to fix what he could, but it would most likely only delay the inevitable.

Optimus being Optimus would ask Ratchet to try his best as Emersus was a close friend to him. Ratchet would successfully get Emersus fixed as best as possible and Emersus would eventually wake up again.

At first Emersus was confused and delirious from everything he had endured, but would snap out of it when he saw Optimus. Of course Optimus looked different from when he was Orion, but Emersus still remembered him.

The series would then kick off and Emersus would be the chaotic inventor (think Cyberverse's version of Wheeljack but with ✨️murder✨️ energy).

As the series goes on and approaches the episodes with Unicron, Emersus would begin to get nightmares that would progressively get worse until the episodes with unicron would cause him to stop recharging due to the intensity. These nightmares however were not nightmares at all, but instead were visions being sent to him by his old master.

Unicron would eventually capture Emersus to convert him back to his Herald and, because a mutual friend was in dire need, Optimus and Megatron would team up to save Emersus.

They would delve into the core of earth and find where Unicron was attempting to use his ancient relic to return to that domain.

Emersus however would be the obstacle in their way, taking on a twisted and horrifying form influenced entirely by Unicron. The pair would fight against their friend and Optimus would be the one to snap him out of it.

After severing the connection between the relic, Unicron, and Emersus, Optimus would revert to his pre prime state and Emersus would lose a ton of memory, so much so that he doesn't even remember Optimus at all.

Since he couldn't remember Optimus but remembered Megatron, he would follow him and Optimus out of there. The story would go through the usual timeline with the Orion Pax arc and Emersus would would follow alongside.

Of course Orion remembered Emersus and was confused as to why Emersus couldn't remember him. Megatron would use both of their ignorance to his advantage. Emersus became a sort of body guard while Orion became the archivist.

The pair would actually grow close yet again and the vehicons would gossip about how much calmer Emersus was around Orion. Megatron didn't like that his body guard was distracted and he forbeyed him from going near Orion.

This caused Orion to begin his suspicions that something wasn't right. When Orion found out the truth he immediately went to tell Emersus. The pair would work together to escape and Orion would be restored to Optimus.

Since then the pair would be even closer than before, but it would become rocky when Emersus rediscovers his true heritage again. He would become isolated and distant, often locking himself in his workshop to "prevent a monster from doing damage."

At this point Optimus would finally convince Emersus to at least allow him in. Emersus would break down for the first time in millions of years. Optimus being the cinnamon roll bean he is manages to calm Emersus down and the pair confess feelings.

Fast forward through the episodes and we come to the Omega Lock arc and Emersus is forced to surrender himself to Megatron along with the relics and keys. Emersus would be kept prisoner for the duration of the season 3 episodes involving Darkmount and would end up falling into a deep depression. In fact, it was so deep that his workings began to give up on functioning despite Knockout's best efforts to prevent it.

Emersus would have a mental breakdown similar to The Fallen that would result in him lashing out violently towards Megatron. Thw pair would be locked in what would seem like a mever ending duel ultil Ultra Magnus would enter and stop the whole thing. Or rather, he'd delay it since he was no match for Megatron and a pissed off Emersus. Look he doesn't like his death matches interrupted okay?

Anyway, resume fight and Emersus would end up losing after his body started to malfunction. But just as he was going to be deactivated BAM! In comes an upgraded Optimus and all hell breaks loose.

Emersus would end up going into stasis lock again and wake up in the new base with Ratchet and Optimus not far from him. It's then that Ratchet expresses his concern for Emersus's wellbeing as this second stasis lock almost killed him.

Emersus being the stubborn aft he is brushes it off. Speaking of stubborn afts, let's explain Ultra Magnus's dynamic with him.

Emersus does not like Ultra Magnus on the same level that IDW's Whirl hates him. In fact, Emersus almost beat the slag out of him when he commented how "an Empurata shouldn't be clinging to a Prime." It was such an angry outburst that it took Bulkhead, Bumblebee, AND Smokescreen to hold him back.

Thankfully the trio were able to cool his circuits and, after storming off muttering curses, Optimus would explain that Emersus and him were Conjunx Endura and that he needed to be more respectful.

Ultra Magnus would begrudgingly agree to not be an aft to Emersus and they would eventually learn to get along (kinda like how Wheeljack did).

Jump through the episodes and when we get to Ratchet getting kidnapped by Soundwave the duty of medic and inventor would land on Emersus and Raphael until they could rescue him.

When the final battle occurs, Emersus would unleash a pent up fury on the Decepticons alongside the other Autobots. When Megatron fell and Cybertron's lights were restored, Emersus would have one last stasis lock before dying in Optimus's arms.

They would meet again in the realm of the Prime's and that's how the story ends. I might write it, might not, but hey, if you've read this far then thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol.

[lilacs-world]

I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

[sarahhelpimsinking]

Warm heart even warmer hands pt 1

So it’s 12 am at my cabin 😝  and I ran out of books and my google docs work without internet so here, also I know nothing about how the actual law works or injury’s so here’s this steaming pile of twilight crap this Takes place in new moon 😚✌️ also this is literally just me like the description and what not and also all my fics the characters from Alaska because I am ( I posted this days after I wrote it)

I’m running, fast. The branches are ripping at my arms scratching me, I’m gasping for air, damn I knew skipping PE was going to come back and  bite me in the ass. I don’t know where my friend had gone I hope she was all right, I could hear him behind me catching up. I was weaving between trees blood dripping down my face. HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME his hand gripped my shoulder and I had no other defenses so I whipped around and launched my self at him, he grunted and we hit the ground rolling and fists hitting skin, my glasses fell off in the chaos.  He was a full grown man with a knife and I was a scared unfit girl. We were about the same weight though, his fist cought my head and my ear rang I brought my fist up and hit him in the nose,blood poured, he somehow got me on my back and was now sneering at me I screamed before a slap to the face cut me off. He leaned in close, his breath smelled foul “stupid bitch” fight or flight was in hyper drive now, i craned my neck up and slammed my head so hard into his that pain splintered my vision. He screamed and rolled off blood pouring from both of our faces,

I rolled up as fast as I could my vision blurry and shaky, not having my glasses made this much worse and I tried to make another run for it. He must have gotten up and his knife made contact with my arm, I let out a sound between a yelp and a scream but I just grabbed my arm and sped up. I was now running faster then I ever have in my life adrenaline keeping me going. I made it to the edge of the forest that leads to la push beach close to sam uleys house. He was still behind me I screamed SAM and made a sharp turn in the sand up the little road to his house. As I was booking it up the road I saw people on the porch but I couldn’t make it out without my glasses on, they saw me and I screamed HELP as the man reached me again, he launched himself at me and I fought like hell both of us grunting in pain he slammed my hand Into the ground and I bit the shit out of his arm and elbowed his stomach, he only got in another punch before a buff native boy pulled him off me more surrounded us and beat the hell out of him and knocked him out. I was swiftly picked up by one of them, which was no easy feat I was 250 pounds and 5’8. My vision was going in and out and I could hear them talking to me. All I could mutter was  “holy shit” that last hit had my head swimming, I was set on a couch I think, I looked up and woman was crouching next to me talking, she had scars all over her face but even those couldn’t dampen her soft beauty, Emily I think her name was I met her once awhile ago, it was like my ears were filled with cotton, they were ringing. I closed my eyes for a bit and the ringing stopped. She was no longer in front of me but beside me with a med kit, I looked at her and her eyes were wide with concern “ are you okay?” She asked.“no I said scratchily “not really” Sam now reappeared with a bunch of the boys “ok, y/n Right? I nodded “ what happened ” I swallowed panickedly suddenly aware of what just happened I opened my mouth and just started rambling “ I was just at my friends house and we were walking through the woods messing around, and this guy just showed up out of know where acting bat shit craz, he launched himself at me and my friend ran to get help.” I said on the verge of tears started to hyperventilate with reopened panic. I felt Emily hand on my arm rubbing small circles on my skin soothingly. Sam looked at me anger and simpithy in his gaze “ we called the police they should be here soon but do you feel like you have any broken bone or anything really wrong?” I shook my head “me head just hurts I said in a strained voice, the lights were dancing infront of my eyes and I couldn’t see clearly. One of the boys I think his name was Jacob, Bella talks of him constantly asked “ how far away is your friends house we should go check on her” I looked up and tried to think “ uh it’s close to the gas station like a mile away from it” then I shook my head “ I’m sorry I can’t remember the address” alright we will go and check up on her” Emily then shooed the boys out and tried to tend to my wounds while cooing at me softly, I really liked her, she smelled like cinnamon and a fire place. When I heard sirens I stood up at her protest and tried to walk to the door but it was more like limping all the adrenaline had worn off and now I was hurting.. badly. I pushed open the screen door and saw Charlie I immediately pushed my self into his arms crying, he hugged me tight. Charlie was a fimaliar face in all of this

and I couldn’t help but cling to him, I’m friends with Bella swan his daughter and he’s also my dads bestfriend. He loaded me up in his cruiser and raced me to the hospital. 

The next couple hours were a blur, I had a very severe concussion a sprained wrist and a large gash on my head and arm. Luckily they weren’t very deep. They kept me over night, my friend that was with me, Mary, was alright just shaken up. She had called the police when she made it back to her house. 

I was taken home the following morning and boy was I glad, I was so bored and the nurse had bad vibes. My mom and dad were hysterical hugging me and crying and just felt so detached like it hadn’t really happened, I knew I would have to deal with this new trauma sometime but not now. I know this is so shallow but after I came to my senses as I was lying there in the hospital bed all I could think about was how bad I must have looked and how GOOD all those la push boys looked, it’s mortifying to think about the state I must have been in, well that I’m in I still hadn’t been able to shower and I was in a hospital gown. Eventually my mom and dad took me home, my mom was hovering and I guess that’s to be expected, I took a shower and brushed my hair and changed into pajama pants and i put on my favorite maroon hoodie, my glasses had broke when it all went down, so I had my backup old pair which wasn’t my full prescription but better then nothing. My head of curly hair was a total and absolute mess when I looked in the mirror before my shower, in fact all of me was, my hair was matted with blood and my forehead had a deep cut and bruises were blooming along my skin. I was able to have today to rest but tomorrow I had to go in for my statement but that’s for another day today I was going to pass out in my own bed and sleep for the next 15 hours.

[sieadaitgr]

personal post, cw for newly disabled rambling, if that makes sense. over the last year-and-bit, my mobility has become more restricted. We dont know yet the cause, and are just working on a process of elimination. so far i can at least do the Dr. House "it's not lupus" meme but beyond that? no idea.

While i am not (yet?) at the point of needing a wheelchair, i have become cane dependant when walking distances, especially on harder surfaces like concrete. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few more years my med team recommends also incorporating a chair into my routine (if i continue on my current decline).

i've also lost a lot of my general strength. My job (and general life skills) have often revolved around my physical abilities to lift, move, and be on my feet, so these changes have been a bit of an emotional toll.

so i don't feel as alone in these changes, i decided to make Ji Chao-Xing an ambulatory wheelchair user. i might make her a cane as well. art and dolls have been my way to process emotions and thoughts for a long time. this time it's just very on the nose.

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - april 17, 2024

Idk how y'all deal with how compact everything is on tumblr's mobile site. I just tried it for the first time, and it felt cramped. I'm also fussy about change, so it's more about my hang-ups than something actually being wrong.

Languid, lounging day. Bedroom window was open, so I stayed in bed for an extra few hours, playing on my phone. (Took meds and ate before going to bed this morning, so I am still being mildly responsible.) Moscow was in the window, enjoying the view. The neighborhood livestock made a lot of sounds today, mostly some lamb or kid lamenting frequently. Donkey has been heard but not much today.

Sinuses are draining again, as "seasonal sneezonals" come 'round. I've mentioned being careful about blowing my nose, with the dried stuff being mixed with scabs. Somehow, I loosened something deeper today. Not a bleeder that couldn't be stopped (what I usually call a nosebleed), but certainly bloody and raw from inside my sinuses. If it's not dripping onto my face, I don't usually worry about it.

Dad made something with strong herbs tonight. Not gross or burning like his usual "bad smell" dishes. (Mexican and Indian spices are too strong for my nose. I take a calculated risk with my taquito indulgences, where it smells stronger than it tastes.) Probably some sort of Italian ravioli thing; I didn't look at the package. I'd probably eat it on another occasion. I'm just sensitive tonight.

My sister called, and it seems my younger nephew is graduating high school this year. Dad is thinking about going out to see everyone, but he planned for me to stay behind. The idea of a cross-country trip didn't seem ~as~ scary as it has in the past, but I know I'm not chill enough for my sister's family's chaos. They're wild and loud, and there's a lot of people. Besides, it's my nephew's time to shine; I need a more chill atmosphere.

Speaking of, I talked with LL-K some more about her wedding plans. We talked about snacks and some accommodations. I mentioned preferring not to touch my food when I eat, or needing to wipe my hands and how I wash my hands to self-soothe. "Elizabeth, I would obviously let you in the house to wash your hands!" she said, seeing how I was starting to spiral. I also had to ramble about bananas for a bit, because I just really love them.

I'm also really grateful her older brother is neurodivergent. She's already planned some things with him in mind, and she's said I've helped her gain better insight. It's always good to feel valued. <3