#changes in food preference
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vizthedatum · 1 year ago
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Food aversions and radical changes in preferences, as I’m currently living it
Written around 7:33 on a plane today.
Regardless of what’s happening, I will aim to describe my health as holistically (in a narrative way) as I can.
For the past 2 years or so, I’ve been consciously unmasking my autism and adhd as much as possible.
I am burnt out, and I’m tired of lying to myself while performing… life.
But that’s only a part of the puzzle for me.
Today I’m going on a solo trip for my mental health and self fulfillment. I’m also figuring out what’s going on with my body.
Usually on planes, I ask for “ginger ale, no ice.” Apart from Dr. Pepper - ginger ale is one of my other comfort pop drinks. And it’s my go to drink for flying .
And besides I’ve just been perpetually nauseated and while there is no proof really that ginger ale helps that much because of its sugar content, it helps mentally.
Today, ginger ale tasted like vomit. What the actual fuck??? I tried some from another can - disgusting. (Should I collect more data? Was it just these particular cans???)
Earlier today, when visiting with my brother, I asked him to order things I knew I would like - I ate out of a need to nourish my body in some way (including mental nourishment).
It was easier to eat with another person - harder to eat alone it seems.
It’s been so hard to eat since the beginning of this month. And the fatigue that happens is so cyclical with it (if I don’t eat, I’m fatigued; if I do eat, I’m fatigued - really high amounts)
I just started a course of antibiotics last night (X-safe antibiotics) - and like okay? I’ve been on and off antibiotics for MOST OF MY LIFE - I know what the nausea from that feels like - this is not that. This isn’t an allergy either.
Besides I have been feeling nauseated for weeks.
I’m so sad about this because I love food. I love eating.
It’s also weird because (only using this as a comparative example) when I was with my ex-spouse, I was nauseated in a very different way (I chronically threw up nearly daily for an extended period of time due to a mix of chronic pain and overdoing recreational and medical cannabis - it was a huge problem - I was perpetually stressed and manipulated and blah blah (see my other posts).)
THIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THAT.
I can smell things so much more acutely. Almost like a cursed superpower. I’m so glad I’m masking (physical face mask!) because it limits how much I smell.
All the while my breasts (so conflicted about them from a trans/dysphoric perspective) and lower abdomen ache and pound. (Also in a different way than the usual period/PCOS/IC/endo way… similar, very similar, but so different)
I’m also sad because I need to re-do AND intentionally figure out my entire nutrition plan. Sigh.
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I MUST DO. And I’m trying my best to ask for help but I do *feel* like a burden even though I know I’m not. If it were my friend, I would help - so I know that this is ok.
I haven’t looked this up but is there any guidebook for newly unmasked autistics who may or may not be dealing with an unplanned X (lol sorry I know it’s obvious - I won’t get direct confirmation until later) who already have multiple pelvic and reproductive chronic health issues?!?!
*laughcry* even with all my knowledge, even with me working at an institute specifically for reproductive health, even with everything… it’s like a fucking mystery.
And I wish my mom was actually the type of person who could help me out, because… I fucking need a familial mentor who has gone through this to help me EMOTIONALLY. But she barely has any empathy even though I love her. And we aren’t talking. I did see her, in all her beauty, today when she dropped my brother off… we didn’t speak according to my boundaries.
AND OMFG THE PERSON NEXT TO ME JUST GOT COFFEE AND I CANNOT HANDLE THE SMELL
coffee
It smells so bad
I used to love the smell of coffee
*tries not to meltdown and visibly be a frazzled queer coded autistic on a full flight*
*goes to bathroom and breathes*
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kaeyachi · 3 months ago
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Have you all imagined the days where Kaeya would scream in frustration when he tries to create a Khaenri'ahn dish, but the dish just doesn't taste quite right?
How about the helpless feeling he gets when he barely remembers what ingredients go in his homeland's dishes?
And what about the cravings that have never been satisfied since he was a child because his father didn't teach him how to make them?
For an adventurous food lover... perhaps forever losing your nation's food might just be the most painful thing.
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seiwas · 2 months ago
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Hiya! I love your writing and I'm so glad to be seeing you on my dash bc I haven't in a while! For your writing revival game, can I suggest:
"Incandescent" and either Ushijima or Osamu?
hi cheesy! 🥹 this is so nice of you to say, thank you 🥹 i've been a bit on and off here and there over the past few months because work has just been so busy 🥺 but i'm glad to be back here too!! thank you for sending in a prompt 🥹
contains: established relationship, halloween outfits, miya dynamics
osamu + incandescent
there are a lot of reasons why atsumu loves you for his brother―you bring osamu food when he barely has time to eat in the shop, and you send picture updates in the group chat you have with the two of them and ma. you also give him your extra onigiri when osamu says he's had too much.
you're there for osamu in times when he can't be, and for that, he's grateful.
this time though, he thinks he might just be indebted to you.
"people're g'na ask ya to sit on me," osamu glances at your costume before staring at the mirror again. from the dining table across the room, atsumu is holding in his laugh, doing his best to keep the water in his mouth.
tonight is onigiri miya's annual halloween party, and you've managed to somehow convince osamu to dress as a burner―red incandescent light and all.
"so i will," you smile sweetly, adjusting the foam handle of your outfit. the theme for the party is: onigiri miya, and truly, what is more essential to the shop than an electric burner and its pan?
from the side of the room, you think atsumu nearly chokes.
"it'll be cute," you step towards him, reaching for the black switch along his hip, "plus, you even light up!"
in an instant, he glows red, the spiral pattern along his chest lighting up like an electric burner heating up. atsumu snorts, erupting into a fit of laughter as he slaps his knee.
"shit," he wipes a tear while holding up his phone camera, "can't wait f'ma to see this."
osamu looks at him from the mirror, deadpan, "yeah, show'er ya shitty dye job too."
because atsumu doesn’t look any better at all, dressed as none other than osamu for halloween―black long sleeves with an apron, a pair of gloves and osamu's actual work pants. the cap on top of his head rests on temporarily dyed jet black hair, but he's done it in such a haste that his blonde roots are still showing.
you laugh, never quite getting used to their antics despite being a witness to it for years. halloween with the twins is always a memory you look back on fondly, and you don't think this year will be any different at all.
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vypridae · 20 days ago
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hey btw are your fft au boys related?
they are not!! i actually had the plan to put something in regards to that in the fic at some point like.
y/n after first meeting the boys: so. like. are you two brothers, or...?
sun/moon: ew! god no. never
y/n: okay. good! because you're arguing like you're an old married couple and i've only known you for five minutes. is this a daily thing you go through or?
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floorpancakes · 3 months ago
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heart-pounding immersive bocchi cinema solo trip experience 1-page report
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nanmo-wakaran · 10 months ago
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source
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summer-fire · 3 months ago
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I know juniper is just a cat so she has no concept of the financial impact of food waste but girl I s2g if you don’t eat ya wet food
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goldentigerfestival · 6 months ago
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seeing some of y'all talking about/have talked to some of y'all who have said to me how y'all feel like the dub forced (western especially) masculinity into Yuri, and
yeah.
I left that out of the actual posts themselves because it felt too opinionated for the actual posts (even though you know it's my blog I can do what I want, but I don't want people discrediting me over shit like that), but yeah.
it feels a lot to me like they wanted Yuri to be some cool masculine edgy dude instead of a silly, playful, dorky, emotional, caring man. as if his silliness and emotional side is something to shy away from and isn't "cool enough" for a main character.
it's sad to me because he's such a different person between versions - enough that if I'm interacting with someone who only knows dub Yuri, it genuinely just doesn't feel like we're even talking about the same character sometimes. I want to be talking about the same character, but since some people only know the dub, they only know what the dub made him out to be.
I've seen a variety of things - art, writing, memes, whatever - where there are times I'm genuinely able to be like... that's such a dub Yuri specific thing. like, the way he gets portrayed is something I'm able to look at and be like "that's literally something only dub Yuri would say/do". it's not the fault of people who don't know the original context, but that's why it frustrates me so much - because that's all some people can know contextually (listening to the audio alone gives you a pretty clear indication of how much tone isn't the same between versions, but obviously some people will still be missing context), and the dub changed the experience (and went out of its way to do so) completely for those people. again - not the fault of the people who played the game. it's the fault of the people who were in charge of context/tone and took advantage of that and changed things and made him literally behave differently (because there's... take what's in front of you and translate that, and then there's going out of your way to change what's right there so the context/behavior is no longer the same).
it especially shows to me in interactions with Flynn between the western and JP fandom. the way Yuri behaves interacting with him in fan created media is sometimes vastly different from my experience between both fandoms. again, it's not people's faults who don't know Yuri's original personality, but it is the dub's fault for portraying him that way.
for me it's heartbreaking to see how dub Yuri treats Flynn and how the dub itself narratively treats Flynn. I love the relationship they have in JP and I love them both as characters in JP. like I've said, sometimes I want to punch dub Yuri for the shit he says and the way he behaves. I've never felt that way about Yuri in his original context. I've felt worse for dub Flynn than JP Flynn because I feel like JP Flynn is better cared for by the narrative/characters, but god, poor dub Flynn??? jesus.
the thing is, this comes from a place of strong love for Yuri (and Flynn!) so I hate that they changed things. I always stand by media in its original, purest form, no matter where in the world that media came from. localization absolutely should fix things caused by language barriers and tweak oddly sounding things - sometimes there's no choice! but it's not there to create a newly existing piece of media. it's not there to create a new character plastered on the face of an existing character or to fulfill the loc team's opinion of what that character should be.
it can be difficult - usually impossible - for me to be experiencing JP exclusive content and trying to imagine dub Yuri in those situations (think like, the drama CDs or Rays' content). I know I'm not the only person who feels this way and is extremely bothered by it.
obviously I'm not the be all end all - I'm one person with feelings and opinions, but I just feel very strongly about this kind of thing and I want to share how wonderful of a character Yuri is in his original form. a lot of the clips I posted I posted because I love his silly or caring attitude. I could blab to you about him forever. so, I hope more people will give this man a chance and experience him the way I know him.
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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man ok so you know the spiciness scale on menus that show you how spicy a dish is so you can order based on your tolerance. can we have that for sauces too please
#im being serious btw. the sauce to rice ratio is very important and sacred to me#whenever i eat at home i get to choose how much sauce i can have with my rice because i dont like absolutely dousing it but i still wanna b#able to taste it yanno. i dont do well with slippery/saucy foods and ive given up trying to understand it. it might be a sensory thing#i am so sorry to admit this on the soup website but i cant handle thick/chunky sauces or curry. forgive me#the worst part is that i actually can handle and even enjoy some like caldereta and congee. but its so hard to tell people ill eat this but#not that.. its embarassing because it feels like im making exceptions. which i am!! because its preference!! but alas#but anyway with the sauce scale. i was thinking it would be nice to include a scale for how much sauce you want with a dish#rather than just skirting away from a food because you feel like you cant handle the texture or feel unsure about it#sauce could be adjustable without completely changing the recipe so it would be more like a matter of quantity or serving size#also i feel like i can make cool names for the scale. like “light drizzle” to “sauceageddon”#im asian so when i eat sauce i pair it with rice and it works because the rice kind of cancels out or makes the sauce more tolerable for me#with caldereta i make it an even 50/50 because i can taste it in the rice without the texture getting in the way#but with pasta and sauce its normally 1/3 sauce because the pasta normally isnt enough to cancel it out#i also grew up with relatives making fun of my eating habits and i really really hate eating at restaurants and gatherings because of it#maybe its because they want to make sure im eating right but!! you dont have to call me out for my 1/3 portion of spaghetti sauce!! damn!!!#anyway im not sure if anyone feels the same abt this and maybe its just me. but it would be really nice to have this a normal thing#without judging ppl for their eating habits and preferences. on god#yapping#food ment#EDIT: ASKING FOR SAUCE ON THE SIDE. MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED. I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 7 months ago
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hate it when I say I'm allergic to a certain food and people go "so you've never had ___? I feel sooo sorry for you" thanks literally did not ask 👍
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sysig · 10 months ago
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Old OC spotlight alert: It’s Nequam! Ft. his girlfriend Ruby (and also Papyrus for funsies lol) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Nequam#Ruby#UT#Papyrus#He's only here because brainworms I mean an outfit swap#Considering this is his second outfit swap with one of my characters so far it might actually be the brainworms. I mean. More than obvious#Lol#He's fun to dress and fun to dress others in his clothes! That's my argument lol#Anyhow ♪ Nequam got too many doodles to fit in with the others! He was a favourite of mine for a while haha#He was retired after losing in a bloodsport comic many years ago so it's been a while since he's been around!#He looks the same to me lol#He's an original species I made at the time so he /was/ designed with my preferences and sensibilities so I guess that makes sense but hm#I kinda expected him to look a Little different lol - I'll just chalk it up to not having been around as my style grew and changed#Defaulting back to his references! Sure lol#He is still a cute lad :) I never really got into his backstory hugely but I know he's got a huge phobia of fire#His face and hands were caught in a fire that ended up killing his parents and permanently scarring and sealing his mouth shut :P#But he ended up being psychic so he could talk and move food as he needed without needing to get cut open so it just - healed like that#It sounds a little different when he speaks psychically but he's not mute! He can only make Sounds with his chest and throat#You can see I was like ''Isn't he self-conscious?? Here have a scarf'' in drawing him again haha - their species is proud so maybe not!#Ruby was designed by an artist I was a fan of and caught a request stream ages ago hehe <3 Ty as always to CuddlesandHuggles ♪#I love Ruby! She's super pretty and Nequam loves her and she loves him <3#And then there's the outfit swap lol look this time it was because Papyrus' outfit genuinely reminded me of Neq's!#Red cape/cloak/scarf - red gloves - high boots - white with gold trim! That's both of them!!#Nequam is much beefier lol and I gave him the fabric-over-the-bones look which ended up being cut through anyway lol#This species always shows off their crystals - it's uncomfortable to cover them - so there's holes all over anyway! Haha#Papyrus looks cute in whatever but hghhh he looks especially cute in a hooded cloak!!#The gloves were what really sold it for me haha - everything else was a very happy alignment but red gloves! Yes
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neverendingford · 3 months ago
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#tag talk#social anxiety is so much worse to deal with when only half of you is anxious because you never know when it'll happen#like. R is not anxious at all. she loves being around people and since we came out she's not scared anymore#but me on the other hand? being around people is a nightmare. agoraphobic for sure.#I wanted to go running again cause we woke up at six again. but the thought of going outside and being perceived? terrifying.#maybe I need to practice getting R to front. we're used to thinking of L as the defensive front but if R's sociability is the best strategy#then she would be the strongest front to present.#the problem is I've tried that and it just results in me feeling even more sullen and anxious because I feel dragged into things then.#because going out on public even with friends still makes me feel anxious and angry and generally annoyed.#ugh I'm so tired of being unpredictably two different people.#if I were just L all the time I could embrace that and find workarounds to these issues. but they hit me so unpredictably#so I don't have the reliability to trust. so my strategy is usually just 'wait until you change into someone without those problems'#because whatever issue I have can usually be fixed by the other half of me.#scared of upsetting people? turn into L. scared of socializing? turn into R. scared of doing tasks? turn into L.#it's also wild because when we're L we shift into a morning person. and R is definitely a night owl#so waking up at five am to go out and read a book on the couch is so great as L but staying up all night reading is R's sweet spot.#idk. I'm so tired of bouncing so much between these two people#and I'm beginning to suspect that we have different food preferences as well. which is.. frustrating#I wish it were as easy as going 'oh duh I'm making this up in my own head' and just stopping#like. yeah it's all in my head unfortunately that's where my sense of identity is too.
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recre8ed · 27 days ago
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@opines liked a starter call. ( witch's road verse / gravity falls crossover )
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Hakkai is greeted with an unfamiliar face when he looks up from the register at the sound of the cafe's entrance bell.
That's not an uncommon occurrence, really; while Hakkai is sure he must have served most of the locals at least once since setting up shop a few months ago, he's noticed that quite a few people tend to treat Gravity Falls as something like a rest stop on their way to bigger places. It's just that this man doesn't look like the sort of person who usually takes an interest in his storefront.
It's designed not to attract too much attention, after all. Even in a place rumored to be a hotbed of the unusual, Hakkai can never be too cautious when it comes to standing out. He's especially conscious of the threat of losing stability in a place like this, where it seems even the simplest acts of magick are amplified to proportions a powerless witch wouldn't usually be capable of.
He's already gotten a little too careless with the food and drink itself. Just yesterday he'd overheard someone comment about a mysteriously healed bruise while enjoying a cup of hot chai.
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"Ah—welcome to the White Dragon Cafe! If you need a moment to read the menu, everything we serve is listed behind me." Hakkai delivers the introduction with flawless precision, having gotten used to giving it in many towns before this one. "We're supposed to be closing soon, but it's only me working, so I don't mind accomodating a few extra minutes while you take your time."
Counting money seems like a rude thing to do in front of a customer, so Hakkai turns his attention elsewhere for the moment, electing to tidy his display case in an act of useful busywork.
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wittness · 4 months ago
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went though recovered stuff on our pro create and found these.
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we made them back in like. late 2018. crazy stuff. anywho, i think they’re kinda cool so figured i’d share them.
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lala-blahblah · 1 month ago
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i look at the state of everything and i just feel like. I'm so sorry for ever complaining about anything ever when so many people have it worse and I feel guilty but I have to use that and do something. I want to fix everything but I can't and it's easy to feel hopeless about that.... I have to remember I can at least fix some things. I cannot let apathy and hopelessness win!!! I will do what I can!!
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls
#cats#nhgnhmmm.. yommy... paper favorite food#(I do not actually let him eat paper)#ALSO I'm still working on doing the poll adventure thing I've just had a lot going on. as usual. It's actually harder than#I initially thought to regularly find time to do a quick ms paint sketch and a small writing blurb#it's like even though it doesn't take extremely long it's still one of those things that is hard to carve out a little portion of the day#to do if your day is set up in a way not conducive to portion carving#BUT .. at least I have posted many drafts#as usual.. my style of like.. post nothing for 3 weeks then randomly post 25 things at once#NO idea why my brain works that way. it just does. it's easier#even though I know it's worse in terms of like. social media#the algorithms in most places prefer consistent steady uploads over time. not jarringly wavering between absence and hyper presence#then absence again. but .. alas...#Good to clear out a few drafts once in a while anyway. And I do really want to get back to scullptures and costumes. I stopped as much for#a while due to the pandemic (can't go to the bins anymore to get new supplies for costumes and stuff) as well as my worsened#health things/lack of energy and also my chest injury (so repetitive movements with my arms such as sitting in the same#position sculpting for 4 hours or changing clothes multiple times in quick succession etc. could flare it up) but obviously#none of those things are going to get better any time soon. so I should probably just try to do it here and there anyway. It's still not#safe to go to the bins. still having muscle problems. still low energy. But I could make it work maybe. I just feel bad having gotten out#of the habit when it is really fun stuff that I enjoy. Some things just get more difficult for me over time#But even like 3 sculptures and 10 costumes a year is better than 0 of any of those things. So. eh#I'm also just trying to clear out pictures still. My spring cleaning (which I do at the start of every new year instead of actual spring)#was kind of delayed this year due to me feeling sick and everything so even late into april I'm still working on the side at like orgnazing#all of the files on my computer. deleting things and backing up whatever I want to keep. clearing out photos.#editing and drafting (and maybe one day posting) old stuff form a while ago. etc. etc.#So any progress is good progress. I suppose.#ANYWAY.... a son... he gets very excited everytime he hears anyone anywhere crinkle up a piece of paper
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