#changes in food preference

[vizthedatum]

Food aversions and radical changes in preferences, as I’m currently living it

Written around 7:33 on a plane today.

—

Regardless of what’s happening, I will aim to describe my health as holistically (in a narrative way) as I can.

For the past 2 years or so, I’ve been consciously unmasking my autism and adhd as much as possible.

I am burnt out, and I’m tired of lying to myself while performing… life.

But that’s only a part of the puzzle for me.

—

Today I’m going on a solo trip for my mental health and self fulfillment. I’m also figuring out what’s going on with my body.

—

Usually on planes, I ask for “ginger ale, no ice.” Apart from Dr. Pepper - ginger ale is one of my other comfort pop drinks. And it’s my go to drink for flying .

And besides I’ve just been perpetually nauseated and while there is no proof really that ginger ale helps that much because of its sugar content, it helps mentally.

Today, ginger ale tasted like vomit. What the actual fuck??? I tried some from another can - disgusting. (Should I collect more data? Was it just these particular cans???)

—

Earlier today, when visiting with my brother, I asked him to order things I knew I would like - I ate out of a need to nourish my body in some way (including mental nourishment).

It was easier to eat with another person - harder to eat alone it seems.

It’s been so hard to eat since the beginning of this month. And the fatigue that happens is so cyclical with it (if I don’t eat, I’m fatigued; if I do eat, I’m fatigued - really high amounts)

I just started a course of antibiotics last night (X-safe antibiotics) - and like okay? I’ve been on and off antibiotics for MOST OF MY LIFE - I know what the nausea from that feels like - this is not that. This isn’t an allergy either.

Besides I have been feeling nauseated for weeks.

I’m so sad about this because I love food. I love eating.

It’s also weird because (only using this as a comparative example) when I was with my ex-spouse, I was nauseated in a very different way (I chronically threw up nearly daily for an extended period of time due to a mix of chronic pain and overdoing recreational and medical cannabis - it was a huge problem - I was perpetually stressed and manipulated and blah blah (see my other posts).)

THIS DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THAT.

—

I can smell things so much more acutely. Almost like a cursed superpower. I’m so glad I’m masking (physical face mask!) because it limits how much I smell.

—

All the while my breasts (so conflicted about them from a trans/dysphoric perspective) and lower abdomen ache and pound. (Also in a different way than the usual period/PCOS/IC/endo way… similar, very similar, but so different)

I’m also sad because I need to re-do AND intentionally figure out my entire nutrition plan. Sigh.

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I MUST DO. And I’m trying my best to ask for help but I do *feel* like a burden even though I know I’m not. If it were my friend, I would help - so I know that this is ok.

I haven’t looked this up but is there any guidebook for newly unmasked autistics who may or may not be dealing with an unplanned X (lol sorry I know it’s obvious - I won’t get direct confirmation until later) who already have multiple pelvic and reproductive chronic health issues?!?!

*laughcry* even with all my knowledge, even with me working at an institute specifically for reproductive health, even with everything… it’s like a fucking mystery.

—

And I wish my mom was actually the type of person who could help me out, because… I fucking need a familial mentor who has gone through this to help me EMOTIONALLY. But she barely has any empathy even though I love her. And we aren’t talking. I did see her, in all her beauty, today when she dropped my brother off… we didn’t speak according to my boundaries.

—

AND OMFG THE PERSON NEXT TO ME JUST GOT COFFEE AND I CANNOT HANDLE THE SMELL

coffee

It smells so bad

I used to love the smell of coffee

—

*tries not to meltdown and visibly be a frazzled queer coded autistic on a full flight*

*goes to bathroom and breathes*

[nanmo-wakaran]

source

[goldentigerfestival]

seeing some of y'all talking about/have talked to some of y'all who have said to me how y'all feel like the dub forced (western especially) masculinity into Yuri, and

yeah.

I left that out of the actual posts themselves because it felt too opinionated for the actual posts (even though you know it's my blog I can do what I want, but I don't want people discrediting me over shit like that), but yeah.

it feels a lot to me like they wanted Yuri to be some cool masculine edgy dude instead of a silly, playful, dorky, emotional, caring man. as if his silliness and emotional side is something to shy away from and isn't "cool enough" for a main character.

it's sad to me because he's such a different person between versions - enough that if I'm interacting with someone who only knows dub Yuri, it genuinely just doesn't feel like we're even talking about the same character sometimes. I want to be talking about the same character, but since some people only know the dub, they only know what the dub made him out to be.

I've seen a variety of things - art, writing, memes, whatever - where there are times I'm genuinely able to be like... that's such a dub Yuri specific thing. like, the way he gets portrayed is something I'm able to look at and be like "that's literally something only dub Yuri would say/do". it's not the fault of people who don't know the original context, but that's why it frustrates me so much - because that's all some people can know contextually (listening to the audio alone gives you a pretty clear indication of how much tone isn't the same between versions, but obviously some people will still be missing context), and the dub changed the experience (and went out of its way to do so) completely for those people. again - not the fault of the people who played the game. it's the fault of the people who were in charge of context/tone and took advantage of that and changed things and made him literally behave differently (because there's... take what's in front of you and translate that, and then there's going out of your way to change what's right there so the context/behavior is no longer the same).

it especially shows to me in interactions with Flynn between the western and JP fandom. the way Yuri behaves interacting with him in fan created media is sometimes vastly different from my experience between both fandoms. again, it's not people's faults who don't know Yuri's original personality, but it is the dub's fault for portraying him that way.

for me it's heartbreaking to see how dub Yuri treats Flynn and how the dub itself narratively treats Flynn. I love the relationship they have in JP and I love them both as characters in JP. like I've said, sometimes I want to punch dub Yuri for the shit he says and the way he behaves. I've never felt that way about Yuri in his original context. I've felt worse for dub Flynn than JP Flynn because I feel like JP Flynn is better cared for by the narrative/characters, but god, poor dub Flynn??? jesus.

the thing is, this comes from a place of strong love for Yuri (and Flynn!) so I hate that they changed things. I always stand by media in its original, purest form, no matter where in the world that media came from. localization absolutely should fix things caused by language barriers and tweak oddly sounding things - sometimes there's no choice! but it's not there to create a newly existing piece of media. it's not there to create a new character plastered on the face of an existing character or to fulfill the loc team's opinion of what that character should be.

it can be difficult - usually impossible - for me to be experiencing JP exclusive content and trying to imagine dub Yuri in those situations (think like, the drama CDs or Rays' content). I know I'm not the only person who feels this way and is extremely bothered by it.

obviously I'm not the be all end all - I'm one person with feelings and opinions, but I just feel very strongly about this kind of thing and I want to share how wonderful of a character Yuri is in his original form. a lot of the clips I posted I posted because I love his silly or caring attitude. I could blab to you about him forever. so, I hope more people will give this man a chance and experience him the way I know him.

[puppyeared]

man ok so you know the spiciness scale on menus that show you how spicy a dish is so you can order based on your tolerance. can we have that for sauces too please

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

hate it when I say I'm allergic to a certain food and people go "so you've never had ___? I feel sooo sorry for you" thanks literally did not ask 👍

[sysig]

Old OC spotlight alert: It’s Nequam! Ft. his girlfriend Ruby (and also Papyrus for funsies lol) (Patreon)

[icewindandboringhorror]

a boye whom'st loves to attack paper balls

[shidoukanae]

Did a study of a panel i like for a manga with absolutely my favorite female character i've seen yet and thought i'd post it here too in the hopes of eventually finding fans of this series when they inevitably, like me, look for more content of this story :'D

I could gush about this funny, lovestarved, absolutely downright sympathetic and villainous lady who absolutely deserves to be family with the protag for so many hours if you let me she is literally so perfect and everything I have ever wanted from female characters before.

I've gone from going "ooooo she's such a cool antagonist who is such a funny little mystery i LOVE her" to "yeah she's kind of on the insane spectrum but tbf who wouldn't be fucked up in her situation TwT" to "i WILL cry over her and she is completely in the right for doing what she's doing and i can't believe i ever believed she wasn't the heroine she's supposed to be :'D"

[terasutetrad-ruikamishiro]

...I would like to formally apologize to Aoyagi for everything I said and felt about his cupcakes. Those seem gourmet now compared to the experience I just had with Kamikou's school lunch.

[arcaneyouth]

i'm starting to think living with 5 other people may simply be a problem

[biteapple]

? Olive has the same meow for "please come pet me while i eat" and "please come here and play with me" now, which only developed after i bought her a new toy (quickly became her new favorite) which is interesting. maybe this is a general meow for "pay attention to me" now .. she no longer really meows for being pet while she eats anymore after buying this toy for them both, for some reason, which is good (that was a REALLY bad habit of hers ive been trying to wean her off of)

[silverselfshippingchaos]

oh hey it's been a few days since I made a personal post

[busylilbee]

I finally bought a real trash can for my kitchen after 5 years of living on my own and I finally feel closer to being a Real Adult

[ficsforeren]

HELLO?!?? CONGRATULATIONS ON THE PREGNANCY!!!! i hope its going well and its not too stressful for you <3 i know pregnant women can get cravings so im wondering if you can share some pregnancy cravings that you think taste good 💖

HELLO THERE!!! I'm so sorry for the late reply, I just logged back in and checked on my messages 😭

AAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SWEET MESSAGE!!! It's definitely much better now that I'm in my fifth month of pregnancy. I don't throw up that often anymore, thank goodness.

Funny thing is, I don't think I've ever had any cravings. I've been pregnant twice now and instead of having food cravings, I just get... ten times more horny 💀 THIS IS SO TMI I'M SO SORRY

[daisyachain]

agh all my friends in the city are gone. Specifically one of my close friends is moving away, severing the link between me and distant mutual friend (her roommate) and close friend who moved away in 2021 (her sister), and my one personal friend in the group I’d been kind of hanging out with pissed me off in February and hasn’t even noticed that I haven’t talked to her since. Rip.

[citadelofswords]

ay. i should really know better than to reblog food opinion polls and suchlike, because i fucking hate food debates with every fiber of my being