#chakra yoga classes

[rumi-nations]

Closing the Year with the Chakras

Friends! It’s been a while. But what better topic to return on than picking up a series of themed classes focused on the chakras? At the end of the year, I like to devote the last 7 weeks of the year to calibrating the chakras. Here’s a high level guide to what that looks like this year. Class 1: Root Chakra (Muladhara) Theme: Grounding and stability Opening (5 min): Seated meditation with a…

[art-of-self-healing]

Embrace Wellness with Yoga, Pranayama, and Energy Healing

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[shapingholisticjourneys]

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[selenastrongfitness]

INTRODUCTION TO KUNDALINI YOGA

Kundalini yoga is a form of yoga that involves chanting, singing, breathing exercises, and repetitive poses.

Its purpose is to activate your Kundalini energy, or shakti. This is a spiritual energy that’s believed to be located at the base of your spine.

As Kundalini yoga awakens this energy, it’s believed to enhance your awareness and help you move past your ego. Sometimes, the practice is also called “yoga of awareness.”

This class will run 90 Mins at a discounted, introductory rate with tradition tea and social to follow.

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[yourcentre]

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[beefscrap]

Another OC + the gang request

His name is Psilo, he’s a mind reader, except instead of reading minds, he can hear the sounds mushrooms make. He attends the same academy that the gang go to, and he is essentially the “hippie” of the class, he’s super chill, using his green thumb to grow different mushrooms and plants, and he believes that partaking in calm activities such as meditating, gardening, basket weaving, painting, and necklace making can help a dragon “open their chakras” so to speak. He also sculpts and fires clay smoking pipes for dragons if they so wish to, and he grows a kind of herb that helps him calm his mind/nerves. He has all sorts of silk dyed tapestries in his room that he tie dyes, makes his own incense, and holds yoga sessions every other day.

I’m BEGGING you BEGGING you to tell me you made a ‘fan’ oc for my AU. I’ll explode because that would mean I officially achieved two fan ocs for my au. Oh my god I’d feel like I won a million dollars

(TOTALLY FINE if he isn’t but I’m making sure just in case.. If it’s just an oc you’ve used in several places THATS FINE and I still loved this)

Anywaysssc this is just awesome. We need a dragon like Psilo in the gang. Fun fact: when their personalities were already all set in stone i realized there was extra negativity than I wanted/expected. I learned to go out of my way to make lighthearted moments. Especially with humor since I didn’t want a lotta cynical comedy

[theladybrownstarot]

📜SPIRIT GUIDE'S🔎 MESSAGES FOR YOU♡

Pick a card reading~

♡ Hi everyone ! I'm brown back with an another reading about your spirit guide's messages for you all. ♡ So choose a pile(s) you feel more drawn to and take what resonates. ♡ Do support Me by a like/Comment/reblog/follow to get more !

Let's begin with it ~

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

🔎📜Pile 1.

✒️the time has come to manifest your vision into reality ~

♡ Hi pile 1 ! your spirit guides are saying that start planning things and if you have planned anything or took decision regarding anything then implement it now and be confident firstly in you by knowing who you are and what you want ? then to your implementation . Bring out some new ideas and creativity in your daily life and work .

♡ Your guides are trying to connect with you and other thing is that they want you to look after them or consult someone so they can transfer you the important message through any reader or when you are calm in a space completely . Some of you are going to really be psychic or your guides want you to develope your psychic potential and start a blog or something similar and to start connecting with spirituality more .

♡ Your personality is changing or you are making or observing some changes in yourself so let it be pile 1 because little transformation is therefor something good .

♡ Do what you believe in most and see yourself glowing up by your passion . Leave up everything for this thing pile 1 just go for it The time has come to shine . You are having a yes as your answer for any question .

🔎📜Pile 2 .

✒️You are your greatest treasure my child ~

♡ Hi pile 2 ! your spirit guides are saying that start valuing yourself and loving yourself more because i think you don't do self love or if you are doing then you are lacking , pile 2 you really don't know that how attractive and beautiful you are ! Start to not criticise yourself , surrounding and little things in life instead start everything once again and let yourself glow ~

♡ Start taking care of your diet which will do good for your physical and mental well being . Start becoming patient and go slow or choose your speed for your life that is appropriate so you don't go harsh on yourself . Go to yoga classes or start mediating and leave that mobile device at home baby ~ Get some plants , have some sunlight and be around nature so you can strong your heart chakra .

♡ Start becoming passionate for yourself pile 2 really start making plans for your self development dearie . Do what you love and sway your body on its rhythm watching yourself go high for that you need to work on yourself .

♡ The divine has recognised your hard-work and is now going to reward in its own way . You are attracting abundance , prosperity and love . The goddess of love is giving her love to you so starting worshipping her . From my side its mata lakshmi the consort of creator of world shri hari .

🔎📜Pile 3 .

✒️Go and leave rest on us ~

♡ Hi pile 3 ! Your spirit guides are saying that if you have travel related things in your work or work related to travel then go because it will provide you with many benefits . Do not wait for opportunities instead start doing work so they come to you so don't be lazy.

♡ Do not be confused between two things pile 3 don't be because you have the answers already just weight the things according to your situation and needs . Start focusing on what's important with practical decision not emotional or in relation to people that they will get hurt .

♡ Someone is coming or has entered in your life pile 3 really . This person maybe is your soulmate or i see that you are doing a lot of self care and start to do some charity for collecting good karma ! if this person is your soulmate then this person is very loving and supporting who will give you their full attention.

♡ Do not be afraid because that path made for you is very beautiful at the end just follow it and leave everything up-to universe by surrendering . You are having lot of weird things appearing which maybe a sign or message from universe in your dreams or reality do don't ignore.

The end of the pac ~

[viii-the-strength]

Weekly reading!

This time I thought about making it pick a pile style. I felt very tuned in when I was shuffling and getting the cards so I chose them for all the groups at the same time and then looked and read them. That means that each group has no repeated cards. Sadly I had to rewrite some parts because the app worked terribly and I was writing everything in a draft. Next time I'll definitely do it in the notes or a doc.

This is the first time I do this so I am improvising and going with the flow, I don't know if next week I will do it like this or not. I still used the cards as always though, tarot and then A Yogic Path (chakra, ayurveda and yoga).

Here are my other readings!

To pick a pile please take a deep breath first and tune in with yourself. Please don't do it in a rush, in class, your job, etc. If you are curious save it for later when you can truly connect with your highest self. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. When you open them don't think too much about it and pick a crystal. You can pick more than one. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Journal about how the reading made you feel.

Now let's take a look!! (alt: 1 red jasper 2 tiger eye 3 clear quartz)

Pile 1

Cards: 9 of Swords reversed, XXI The World, Ace of Pentacles, 2 of Pentacles. Ajna reversed, Vata, Pranayama reversed.

You recovered from hardship or accepted something hard, a truth or a situation. You could have accepted help too, a hard thing to do sometimes.

Either way after the difficult times you are having your moment. The World is a beautiful card, the last one of the major arcana. You completed the journey and feel fulfilled. Maybe you finally got recognition.

Now another adventure begins, the ace of pentacles indicates that that beginning is about money. It could be a new business, some investments or maybe just abundance and monetary security. Perhaps the hardships mentioned before were related to money too.

Remember you can balance your work life and personal life though, don't prioritize your job because you had a hard time with money. Trust the abundance of your life right now. It doesn't mean don't be careful with your money, just put you and your wellbeing first.

Don't doubt your intuition, when something doesn't feel right keep it in mind. "Before making a decision, tune into your body. What is it telling you?" Pick your body cues. The more you practice this the more align you will be with your third eye chakra and intuition.

The Vata card is asking you to let your ideas flourish, but remember to also anchor them with action, so visions can manifest into reality. Don't leave your ideas just in your mind. (If you have any ideas related to business or money remember the Ace of Pentacles, now it's the time).

"Whenever things seem to be moving too quickly for words, come back to your breath". Remember to take pranayama out of the mat too, our breath is always there to support us. This reminds me of the 2 of Pentacles, find the balance. If you don't practice yoga I recommend looking for some pranayama videos!

Pile 2

Cards: XIII Death, Knight of Swords reversed, 3 of Swords reversed, King of Wands reversed. Manipura reversed, Kapha reversed, Niyamas.

Death is scary but it means evolution and metamorphosis. A loss is an opportunity to change but it is normal to feel sad and grief the past.

You can overcome this though. Seek help if you need to, you don't have to go through a hard time alone. Take time to process the situation.

You may feel like there's a weird atmosphere around you this week or that there's something wrong with you. A lack of harmony, volatility, rudeness...

Your solar plexus chakra may be blocked, making you feel unsure about what you really want. "Take some time apart from others, especially those who are trying to direct your path, and figure out who you are outside of everyone else." This ties with the King of Wands reversed and that weird atmosphere I talked about. You need some distance. "You need to unlearn all that you learnt", go to new places, try new things. Remember the Death card? This is a new you.

The Kapha card in reverse makes me think that maybe you needed this change. Perhaps you got too comfortable where you were. "Try something out of the box. See bigger dreams for yourself. Let go of habits that are no longer serving you, such as emotional eating or looking back into the past. Replace refined carbs, sugar, and dairy with bitter vegetables, tart fruit, and rich spices. It's time to shed your old skin and reemerge as your highest self and fullest expression".

I will leave you now with the Niyamas page (alt after the pic). Beautiful transformational energy in this group.

[Alt: NIYAMAS. Eight stages of yoga: laws of personal observance. You are beginning to reap the rewards of the inner transformational work you have done. This is just the beginning of a life-long practice of personal observance. Tune into what your soul needs at this moment. Are there toxins in your body and mind that need sauca, purity? Are you experiencing contentment, santosa, for all the blessings you have been given? Are you using your tapas, disciplined energy, to take you toward your Dharma, divine purpose? Continue the practice of svadhyaya, self-study. There is always more that you'll find when you open up the pathway to your true spirit. Take some extra time for yourself each day to practice isvara pranidhana, the celebration and contemplation of spirit.]

Pile 3

Cards: III The Empress, XVIII The Moon, 4 of Wands reversed, King of Swords, 8 of Swords reversed. Anahata reversed, Tamas reversed, Asana reversed.

First I have to say that I don't like reading The Moon as the opposite of The Sun. I don't think it is a card about melancholy, anguish and insecurity (at least when it's not reversed). To me it is about tapping into your intuition and seeing what you didn't before. Also you got one more card because they just came out like that jsjsj. Okay now we can get into your reading group 3!!

I think right now you are being asked to step into your feminine energy (this energy lives within everyone regardless of gender, also I may add that I do not like the "divine feminine" bs). You can flow with creativity, accomplish your goals, go into a time of abundance. But for that you need to be more in touch with the femininity in yourself.

The Moon is also a very feminine card, but this one is more about intuition and spirituality. Maybe this is what you need; understanding your intent, realising the cycles and patterns within your life, self-study. See the path that was hidden once.

This can bring a bit of self-doubt or gloom though. Sometimes things are easier when we are unaware. The 4 of Wands is also about family so with it being reversed it makes me think that perhaps you can discover something about your family that makes you look at them differently. It can also just be that you live away from them and miss them. Maybe they also are not spiritual or even are against spiritual practices (tarot, wicca, yoga, astrology....)?

The King of Swords may be asking you for a bit of structure and self-discipline in your life. This goes hand in hand with tamas and asana in reverse, but we will see that late

The 8 of swords is about being caught up in your own insecurities. Maybe it was your family making you insecure, you went through a heartbreak, or it was a moment of self-doubt but you are beginning to heal. Take a stand and be strong.

I'm really getting spiritual awakening from this pile. But first you have to work through some emotional blockages, let's see what the anahata reverse has for you (alt after the pic):

[Alt: Anahata. Heart chakra. Reverse. A heartbreak is holding you back from your truth, and the time has come to forgive. Your heart carries an intelligence, and when you close your heart, you are not able to operate as your full self. To follow your path, it is essential to heal the old wounds of the heart. Repeat the mantra, "Please forgive me. I forgive you. I thank you. I love you." Repeat these words using the names of every person who needs love, forgiveness, and gratitude. Each heartbreak carries a divine spiritual lesson, and you can hold onto the lesson while letting go of the pain. Honor the soul contract for what it taught you, and pave the way open for your heart to love again. Practice tantric eye-gazing and meditating on the heart-space, and spend time in green nature.]

This block explains why you may feel stuck, hence why tamas reversed is here: "You seem not to have the energy that you used to and feel like the fire within you has been put out [...] My dear, you have been in the cocoon for too long, and you've forgotten you have wings. Create movement and novelty in your life. Practice sun salutations upon waking, take long walks in nature, clean up your house. Let go of all tamasic foods those that are packaged, fried, or full of sugar and refined flour. It takes effort to get the wheels moving at first, but once you make that push, you'll be in effortless flow, kriya".

Following this it is obvious you are asked to take it to the mat too. "The mind has been in control for far too long and it will never answer the questions of your soul's calling. To talk to the spirit, you must talk to its home, the body. The solutions are not outside of yourself, they're in this very temple you abide in. Through movement and breath, you create space between the inhales and the exhales to discover your truth. The mind will tell you stories until the end of time-the body cannot. If it's been a while since you've done an asana, yoga practice, consider this is a request from the spirit reminding you to come back home to yourself".

If you do not practice yoga consider starting or continuing with a physical activity you like, but I think it is better if it is mindful (like pilates, tai chi, even running).

I hope it was useful!!! Don't forget to keep coming to this lecture during the week. Please let me know if it resonated 🩷 I hope this served you in any way.

[rumi-nations]

Balancing Manipura (or Solar Plexus) Chakra

Balancing Manipura (or Solar Plexus) Chakra

I’ve heard energy workers talk about the solar plexus chakra (or Manipura) as the furnace of the body. Think of it as a wheel in the middle of your body, a bit above your belly navel, and governing the fire elements in your spirit. Balancing Manipura – which translates to “city of jewels” from Sanskrit – usually works best in conjunction with the two lower chakras (root and sacral). There are so…

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

See I disagree, I think meghan *thinks* her target audience is quiet luxury but its not. That's Kates in a way. People get a lot of inspiration from her regarding that. She's more of the yoga mom that drinks bone broth and swears by a full body infra sauce 3 times a week. She gets her chakras adjusted bi-weekly and loves a good vegan dish. She'll try any new fitness trend (including wearable items, shoes and clothing). She's far more closely reflects a San Fran early stage start up chasing large amounts of money and an eternal life span. She's appealing to the 30-40 year olds who have new tech money and don't mind spending it on adventurous shit that seems mars level weird to even New Yorkers.

So yes this merch thing worked for her, but she should have been leaving a therapy session or self defense class or even a pottery class. No body who can purchase an Hermes scarf is doing that because of meghan or her outfit, but I would bet if she wore a new work out set from Lululemon she'd get traction.

This is a very good take. And I agree she should be going to a class or a spa or something more song those lines.

[darkfeminineguru]

2023 Glow-Up (Dark Feminine Edition)

Create a manifestation routine and follow it. Start small (e.g., scripting before bed) and work your way up to meditating and experimenting with different ways to manifest.

Create daily gratitude lists to put yourself in a high vibration. Do this in the morning or at night.

Do something creative once in a while!

Compliment yourself in the mirror every morning while getting ready for the day.

Do one Shadow Work prompt a day. Don’t be ashamed if you start crying, that’s a good sign that emotions are being unrepressed.

Listen to YouTube affirmations every day.

Do a guided confidence meditation.

Pick up a hobby you did as a child and reconnect to your inner child.

Listen to manifestation music while getting ready. I’d recommend Throat Chakra by Peachkka for those starting the Dark Feminine journey.

Create a list of all your friends and rate their energy out of 10. Cut off those below 7. You need to surround yourself with people whose energy you enjoy.

Block those people who have shown any form of red flags.

Read more books. Any genre.

Write down a list of activities that don’t require you going on your phone, and do them every day. Notice how productive you are!

Join a dance and / or a yoga class.

[crazycatsiren]

Chakras - What they really are

(I managed to salvage this post written by @rue-cimon from an old deactivated account. I copied it down here because this was too good a post to lose.)

Chakra literally means "wheel" or "circle" in Sanskrit. The concept of chakras originates from Hinduism in ancient India. These are focal points used in a variety of ancient meditation or yoga practices. These practices are collectively called "tantra".

Although the concept is frequently found in early traditions of Hinduism and are often mentioned in the Vedas, beliefs around chakras differ between various Indian religions. Buddhist texts consistently mention 5 chakras, whereas Hindu texts and sources speak of 6 or 7 chakras.

Early Sanskrit texts speak of them both as meditative visualizations combining flowers and mantras and as physical entities in the body. Within kundalini yoga, various breath exercises, visualizations, mudras, kriyas, and mantras are focused on manipulating the flow of subtle energy through chakras.

Chakras are also present in Ayurvedic traditions.

The belief behind chakras is that human life simultaneously exists in two parallel dimensions, one is the physical body and the other is psychological, emotional, mind, non physical (the subtle body).

The aforementioned subtle body is energy, while the physical body is mass. The psyche or mind plane corresponds to and interacts with the body plane, and the belief holds that the body and the mind mutually affect each other. The subtle body consists of energy channels connected by nodes of psychic energy called chakras.

The chakras - in Hindu and Buddhist texts - are said to be arranged in a column along the spinal cord, from its base to the top of the head, connected by vertical channels. Tantric traditions strive to awaken, master, and energize these chakras through yoga and often with the help of a teacher.

The esoteric traditions in Buddhism generally teach four chakras. In some early Buddhist sources, these chakras are termed as manipura (navel), anahata (heart), vishuddha (throat), and ushnisha kamala (crown). However, a system of five chakras is common among classes of tantra in Tibetan Buddhism. These five chakras are basal, abdominal, heart, throat, and crown, and each chakra corresponds with an element, a Buddha, and a bija mantra.

The more common and most studied chakra system incorporates six major chakras along with a seventh center generally not regarded as a chakra.

The chakras are traditionally considered meditation aids. The yogi starts from lower chakras and progresses to the highest chakra located in the crown of the head, in the journey of spiritual ascent.

In the Hindu kundalini and Buddhist candali traditions, the chakras are pierced by a dormant energy residing near or in the lowest chakra. in Hindu texts she is known as Kundalini, while in Buddhist texts she is called Candali or Tummo.

Some terms and definitions:

Tantra: Esoteric traditions in Hinduism and Buddhism that developed in India mainly during the middle of the 1st millennium CE. The term tantra, in the Indian traditions, also means text, theory, system, method, instrument, technique, or practice. A key feature of these traditions is the use of mantras.

Kundalini yoga: A type of yoga focused on channeling energy through the chakras.

Mudra: A symbolic or ritual gesture or pose in Hinduism, Jainism, and Buddhism. Mudras have meaning in many forms of Indian dance and yoga. In hatha yoga, mudras are used in conjunction with pranayama (yogic breathing exercises), generally while in a seated posture, to stimulate different parts of the body involved with breathing and to affect the flow of prana and is associated with consciousness in the body. Mudras are also used in tantric practices.

Kriya: Practice within a yoga discipline meant to achieve a specific result. The Yoga Sutra of Patanjali defines three types of kriya, namely asceticism, study, and devotion. Such yoga is called kriya yoga. Kriya is a Sanskrit word that literally means "to do" or "to work".

Mantra: A sacred utterance, a sound, a syllable, word, or phonemes, or group of words in Sanskrit, Pali, and other languages. They hold spiritual and religious significance. At its simplest, the word "om" serves as a mantra. It is believed to be the first sound which was originated on earth. It creates a reverberation in the body which helps the body and mind to be calm. In more sophisticated forms, mantras are melodic phrases with spiritual interpretations such as a human longing for truth, reality, light, immortality, peace, love, knowledge, and action. Not all mantras have literal meanings but rather are simply uplifting.

Ayurveda: An alternative medicine system with historical roots in ancient India.

[venusinsilk]

Journal Prompts - 2024

I wanted to share these journal prompts with you, the tumblr girls. I hope these prompts help you look within yourself.

Journal Prompts:

Root Chakra (Muladhara):

What aspects of my life need more stability and grounding?

How can I strengthen my sense of security and foundation?

What financial goals or intentions do I want to manifest?

In what ways can I create a stronger connection to the earth and nature?

What habits or beliefs no longer serve my sense of stability?

Sacral Chakra (Svadhisthana):

What brings me joy and creativity, and how can I incorporate more of it into my life?

In what areas of my life can I cultivate a healthier sense of pleasure and passion?

How can I better nurture and express my emotions?

What creative projects or hobbies do I want to explore or develop?

What relationships or connections do I want to strengthen or create?

Solar Plexus Chakra (Manipura):

What are my core values and how can I honor them in my daily life?

In what areas can I boost my confidence and self-esteem?

What personal and professional goals do I want to achieve?

How can I embrace and express my personal power more fully?

What activities or practices can help me maintain a healthy sense of self-worth?

Heart Chakra (Anahata):

What relationships do I want to nurture or heal in my life?

How can I cultivate more love and compassion for myself and others?

What acts of kindness or service do I want to incorporate into my routine?

How can I open myself up to receiving and giving love more freely?

In what ways can I bring more harmony and balance into my relationships?

Throat Chakra (Vishuddha):

What truths do I need to express more authentically in my life?

In what ways can I improve my communication skills?

What creative pursuits or projects do I want to share with the world?

How can I align my actions with my words more effectively?

What conversations or expressions have been left unsaid that need attention?

Third Eye Chakra (Ajna):

What insights or intuitive messages am I receiving that I need to pay attention to?

How can I enhance my connection to my inner wisdom and intuition?

What limiting beliefs or perceptions do I need to release?

How can I cultivate a deeper sense of clarity and insight in my life?

In what ways can I trust my inner guidance more fully?

Crown Chakra (Sahasrara):

What spiritual practices or connections do I want to deepen?

How can I cultivate a greater sense of connection to the divine or higher self?

What beliefs or thought patterns no longer align with my spiritual growth?

In what ways can I invite more mindfulness and presence into my daily life?

What experiences or knowledge do I seek to expand my spiritual understanding?

----------------------------------------

I went to a yoga class a couple weeks ago that focused on setting intentions for 2024. In this class, the instructor shared 1 prompt from each of the Chakras listed with the prompts above. After telling us the prompt, we wrote a quick response. After 7 of these, we were asked to pick one word from each written response.

We wrote down these words and left them visible on our mats. She guided us through a Vinyasa flow for each Chakra, in which we focused on the corresponding word we wrote.

After class, she emailed us more prompts. I'm still journaling through these 2 weeks later. They are very in depth and some of the questions stumped me. It's ok to not have answers right away. I left a blank page and moved on, and I intend to go back and finish more. I've already made small changes to my lifestyle based on answers I wrote. I hope these serve you well!

[yourcentre]

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[darklydeliciousdesires]

Everything Zen - A Bishop Losa/Reader Short.

A short funny idea that came to me this morning. No smut, just the suggestion of such. Enjoy!

Words - 540

Warnings - None!

You knew you shouldn’t have done it. Your inner voice screamed at you that he wasn’t going to take it seriously. Any of it. Well, getting a massage and lying in a hot tub naked as the way he was born while sipping a very cold beer, he liked that part, but this, the meditative yoga class at the mindfulness retreat you talked him into? No.  

“Now, let my voice guide you into your space of relaxation,” the softly spoken woman leading the class instructed.

He can’t help himself. “She’s gonna guide me back to my couch? Nice!”  

“Obispo,” you warn, opening your eye, seeing him grinning widely, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.  

“Allow your mind to clear of all thoughts, find your place of calm, let the Zen in.”

“Who’s Zen? What if I don’t want to let them in? I don’t know them, they ain’t coming in.”

The instructor continues. “Focus on your chakras, pull the energy into these sacred spaces within.”

Bishop snorts softly. “I don’t have those, just a void where I put steak and tacos.”

Despite yourself, you can’t help but snort suddenly at that one, your mouth twitching as you attempt to bite back your smile.  

“Let the spirits guide you to a place of calm.”

“Oh, cool. She's got bourbon? I’ll take one, that’ll make me calm.”

“Will you stop it!” you hiss, drawing a few disparaging stares as you chide your highly amused husband.  

“Let the quiet of the room pulse waves of calm through your aura.”

“I think I need a pneumatic drill to get through my aura.”  

Opening one eye, you look to your right, giving him what he’s come to coin as the wifey death glare, shaking your head. “I will beat you with your own shoes. Be quiet!”

“Now, now, sweetheart,” he whispers. “That isn’t very peace and love, is it?”  

“Let the scents of the incense guide you into relaxation.”

“That ain’t incense. That’s feet.”  

You hear another snort, opening your eyes to see a woman turn around and look at your husband, trying to keep her hysterics in at his observations. Turning your head, you see a few other people attempting not to crack, too. Oh, lord. He doesn’t need any further encouragement.  

“And now we take leave of voice and focus on the inner centre of calm. That includes the handsome gentleman at the back who is cracking wise, if he could please so refrain from further observances.”  

Half the room turns to look at Bishop as they laugh. He grins widely, shrugging.  

“Sorry, baby. I’ll rein in it a little.” He winks at her, the instructor blushing a little before she continues to focus, your husband actually behaving himself. That is, until the yoga poses begin.  

“And now into downward facing dog.”

He hums a chuckle immediately. “My dog don’t downward face.”

You sigh, knowing it was too good to be true, for him to behave for the entire hour. “What does your dog do, pray tell?”

“My dog takes his wife back to our room, bends her over, and fucks her from behind until she screams.”

Naughty husband or not, you’ve never rolled up a yoga mat so fast in all your life.  

[morethansalad]

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