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sorry for killing and maiming your reality tv poster boy btw he accidentally landed in a headlock with me and i snapped his neck like a twig sorryyyyy
#total drama#td courtney#td duncan#duncney#certified user t4tduncney moment#total drama action#total drama courtney#total drama duncan#tdi#tda#ignore where he’s looking
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An absolute rockstar!!
Englewood || 08/30/2024
#i fall to my knees whenever he's doing that thing with his eyebrows in the first pic i want to WEEP 😭😭#this tumblr user is a certified tummy truther#I shan't elaborate more#ANYWAY#had to include that third pic cuz ALEX WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??#(you are so cool please sir)#the two of them!!!#the duo over#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#alex ryan#unreal unearth tour#englewood#colorado
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sara birthday- teenage shenanigans ensue
#i am so happy just to be able to draw something for a characters birthday#i am so lucky that i had nothing going on yesterday bc i did have an attempt one drawing#but it came out ugly so i scrapped it goodbye#anyways :p#yttd#kgs#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#sara chidouin#yttd sara#joe tazuna#yttd joe#also certified munch joe is the best thing ive ever come up with#truly the best of tumblr user cccotard#ranmaru#ranmaru kageyama#ranmaru yttd#kanna yttd#kanna kizuichi
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This website needs more anhane content, I believe
Anhane save me . . . Save me Anhane . . .
#anhane is my otp#favorite pjsk ship of all time#this user is a certified anhane shipper#heart emoji#anhane#kohane azusawa#azusawa kohane#an shiraishi#shiraishi an#toya aoyagi#akito shinonome#mizuki akiyama#vbs#vbs kohane#vbs an#vbs akito#vbs toya#n25 mizuki#pjsk fanart#prsk fa#project sekai#pjsk#prsk art#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#hpurplicious art#hpurplicious
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Feel free to express your opinion on this post or make your own poll if you believe this one is not controversial enough
#you know what to do#(push those buttons)#käärijä#tumblr polls#i hope there is no typo in the titles ugh#edit: certified no typo post (thank you tumblr user katinkulta 🧡)
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aegon ii & criston cole / on fathers and sons
#this is inspired by user jackedup180 criston aegon musings 10/10#when your father doesn’t like you and your mother doesn’t like you and the guy paid to be your dad doesn’t like you etc etc#also might try to make an aegon aemond post bc the way the both of them simultaneously have a cain complex.. insane#aegon ii targaryen#aegon ii#criston cole#hotd#guava.txt#web weaving#not an aegonperson but i am a certified sunfyregirl so i think it’s bleeding through#also if anyone knows where the father was i good quote comes from let me know so i can credit 🙏
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i LOVE characters who are like i am NOT taking a disciple EVER i’m a lone wolf i travel free and unrestrained and when my knowledge dies with me the world will be all the more peaceful for it. ignore the kid that means nothing. and then they look at their hand and see they’ve somehow acquired a World’s Best Shifu mug and they’re like aw beans
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NO. NO. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME BLUEPOCH. NO.
(ignore the absolutely deplorable dogwater angle this happens in) oh my god. my heart hurts.
greta's workplace bestie and her workplace son talking about her..... bluepoch you know you could that breaking into my house and beating me with a lead pipe would hurt less than this
#reverse 1999#semmelweis#marcus#greta hofmann#certified storm moments#im hoping series of dusks gives us more insight on semmelweis' and hofmann's friendship or else im sending biting horseflies to the#bluepoch headquarters. i need to know if they had a situationship (^^^this user is delusional)
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@/angelsrightnow on twitter reposted your madohomu comic without credit or permission just a heads up
thank you for telling me! they added a link a little while ago, but yeah🚬
#certified twt user moment#im glad its just a shitpost tho#a few more people let me know as well so thanks
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lol, so I'm gonna be an admin for the website/blog my prof runs and I just met with my colleague so she could give me an intro and..... it's so much like having a tumblr....... I had to hold back SO HARD not to keep saying "oh, I know this, it's like tumblr" as she was explaining to me how to customize the page and how to edit posts and how to tag and add read more links and everything 💀💀💀whenever she said, "okay, this one is complicated" my head went like....... I learnt this aged 14 in the middle of the night when I wanted to make my blog look cool......... I got this......
who knew that being on this hellsite for more than a decade could give me some sort of useful work qualification?
#simon.out.#academic shitposting#certified user of a shitty lil blog-like website goes ~professional~ <3
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if i won the lottery, i wouldn't tell anyone. but there'd be signs...
#the lottery#starboy.exe#yes this is a 'the lottery' by shirley jackson joke. hope you enjoy#this is a certified tumblr user @dogboymutual classic
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Could u draw courtney doing duncan’s eyeliner? Or duncan doing courtney’s eyeliner? I’d like to think that one of them is an absolute pro at eyeliner and the other one can’t make a decent wing to save their life
sorry it’s just a shitty sketch but here !!!!! (tumblr ruined the quality what the fuck)
courtney’s the pro because she’s a great at everything she does and duncan is Duncan from total drama. buhh hh
i don’t disagree that duncan wears eyeliner but i feel like he’s the type of man to think that makeup neatly applied is too “feminine” so when he wears it he just smears it around his eyes 💀
#td duncan#td courtney#duncney#certified user t4tduncney moment#total drama#noo this looks bad wha. sorrrey
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~~~Chapter 4 - Updated Tuesdays - Also on Ao3~~~
The Lars' speeder pulls up to Ben's cave with a recognizable whine. The jedi-in-exile looks up from idly watching the sand pile up from the wind blowing it in, curious about the visit. It's probably Beru, come to chat, or possibly Owen, come to make stilted small talk because all farmers knew that you kept in touch with everyone out here whether you liked each other or not. As a matter of practicality.
Either way, visitors were… nice.
Ben pushes himself up and moves toward the door to say hello. He doesn't get halfway before Owen is running inside and shoving a bundle of miniature chosen one at him.
"Here!" the man exclaims, dropping a shoulder bag on the floor, "We need you to watch Luke. The Roshan homestead is getting shot up by raiders and they need help! We can't take him with, damnit, time to pull your weight, wizard!"
Obi-Wan looks down at the eleven month old boy with a dawning sense of panic. Luke has the temerity to frown thoughtfully up at him, little forehead squinching up exactly like a fussy Anakin.
The jedi master swallows like he's been handed a live bomb. "Owen I-, I shouldn't-"
There's no reply. Ben looks up from the baby to explain that he can not, should not be trusted with the protection of children. Ever again. Or adults! He is a magnet for lethal levels of misfortune for beings of all ages. Guarding from afar is one thing, but Owen cannot expect-
Owen is gone.
He finishes the half complete walk to the entryway arch, and watches the speeder fling up a trail of sand and dust as it drives away.
"Blast," he curses, covering his mouth and watching it race for the horizon.
This is… not supposed to happen.
"Please, come back," he begs the dust cloud.
Owen does not. He is left holding the fate of the galaxy in his hands. Again.
His bloody, weathered hands.
"Bplbpbpplllll?" asks Luke, creating spit bubbles that go sliding off the side of his fat chin.
Obi-Wan takes a moment to get a grip on himself, eyes closed and face tilted up at the ceiling. Deep breaths. Luke is… not his father. He is just a cherubic little swaddle of pudgy baby. And he’s only going to be responsible for the child a few hours. Perhaps an afternoon. Overnight at a stretch. Unless the worst should happen and one or both of the Lars���
"This is a terrible idea," Obi-Wan states, forlorn. "I'm no good with children, you must understand."
"MnnpaH," the little one declares, then starts to make an angry face.
Obi-Wan shushes him automatically, tilting the bundle upright and patting his tiny back. "I'm going to need you to not listen to a word I say, alright? I've the wit of a brick when it comes to younglings."
"Mnnnpahpahpssss," Luke says, mood turning for the better at the discovery of 'sssss'. "Pahsss paasssss sssss!"
The jedi can't help the tight grin that tugs at his mouth. "See? Two minutes with me and you're already hissing like that horrible zabrak. I'm a terrible influence."
"Ssssuuussssuuuu Ssssshoooo. Heeee! Hsssss!"
"Come now, stop impersonating a sith lord," Obi-Wan insists, bending over carefully to pick up the shoulder bag Owen had dropped so unceremoniously. "Let's see if your papa has left you any toys, hmm?"
"Tee?!?" exclaims Luke.
"Toh ees. Toooyys." Ben repeats for him.
"Teys?!"
He snorts, "Better! You're rather good at this for being zero years old."
"GeeEeeeeEEE!" the baby squeals in delight, legs kicking in excitement.
Lunch time comes and an attempt is made to introduce Luke to black melon. Ben gives him a small sliver of rind to gum on. Luke sticks it in his mouth, makes a face, and then spits it up onto the stone floor.
“Really? Wasting food are we? Well. More for me then,” he replies to that, leaving the baby to his bantha milk and eating the rest of the melon himself.
Cleaning the spit in the middle of the floor turns into a mild tidying, which then becomes sweeping all the sand out of the cave. He has a broom of desert grasses bound to a long, gnarled bit of root. It’s more flexible than necessary, but it does the job.
The sand invades every nook and cranny of his house, as it does every day, beginning as soon as he finishes sweeping it all out. It especially likes to pile up in front of the raised bit of rock he sleeps on, and the wall by his food crate. It simply can’t be left to pile up, or it would bury the cave floor within a few days.
So he sweeps out the area by his bed, and sweeps out the corner by the wall.
Obi-Wan sweeps and sweeps and sweeps.
The rusk-rusk-rusk of the grasses on the stone floor as he works is almost meditative when combined with the faint creek of the root that makes up the handle.
Wait…
“Luke?”
He turns a circle, looking for the child.
“Luke? Sweetheart, where have you gone?”
There is a dreadful lack of baby in the middle of the floor, right where there was definitely supposed to be one.
“Luke Skywalker! Luke!”
When you are not connecting with the force, it is a great deal harder to find other people.
“Where did-!” Obi-Wan exclaims, hustling toward the nearest exit. “Where are- where are you?”
The front door and its window holes open to an empty spread of desert and stone, a bit of scrublands off to one side that surely couldn't hide a tooka nevermind an infant.
“How did-” he turns to go check the back door, heart thudding in his chest, “you’re barely crawling yet! How could you have even gotten this far??”
There is no precocious infant belly crawling to freedom behind his cave, either.
Dizzy. He feels dizzy. He's lost the chosen one. The chosen two? The second chosen… person. Baby.
Failed. Again.
Would the force even bring them a third chosen if he failed the first two this badly?
“Luke,” he calls out, struggling to breathe. “Please, don't go. Please, don't-”
“Gahhh?”
He spins around, wheezing, to find big blue eyes peeking out at him from under a spare cloak. Obi-Wan leans a hand on the wall and covers his eyes.
“Gahhh???” Luke asks again, chewing on the fabric.
Obi-Wan points at him, scowling. “So you are your father's son! Nearly giving me a heart attack over nothing!”
The baby looks at him dumbly for a moment, then his little face scrunches up in dire offense.
‘Oh…’ he thinks, ‘drat.’
Crocodile tears come pouring down, a serial offense in the desert.
“No, no, I didn't mean that, please don't cry-” he tries, shuffling over to unbury Luke from the dark brown cloak. “Come now, it's alright, everything is- it's fine. You're nothing like Anakin, I promise.”
He pulls the trailing edge of fabric from damp fingers, and the tears only work themselves up into operatic screams.
“I’m sorry, truly, that was unkind of me,” Obi-Wan offers, holding the child close and bouncing him a little.
Nevermind Luke's tears, the jedi finds himself sweating. The dizziness of distress has faded, only to be replaced with a feeling of weakness. His arms tremble in the aftermath of adrenaline, a complete divergence from the man he used to be. Something, admittedly, of an adrenaline junkie.
Luke's feeble infant upset is… it is a lot. All things considered, Obi-Wan decides sitting down is the better way to go.
“My dear, I know you're upset but you can't be gumming on dirty cloaks and hiding from your caretakers.”
That solid worldly advice does… absolutely nothing.
“I'm sorry I yelled. The yelling was the terrible part, wasn't it?”
Apologies are equally useless.
Obi-Wan tries patting his back, soft little thumps and the occasional circle. It seems to be helping…
…he looks down, and finds that Luke has discovered that this cloak tastes just as good as that cloak.
The jedi master makes a face of true dismay as sobbing turns into whiney hiccups.
“You're going to start screaming again if I take that away, aren't you?”
Luke hiccups extra hard. It's a sign.
“Yes, of course. Why did I even ask.”
Luke makes a face, just then. An odd face. A satisfied face. Obi-Wan is immediately suspicious.
A sniff test near the low back confirms his suspicions.
It's been a good while since Obi-Wan has had to change diapers. Since a long lost era where he was just a knight, and had served for a time in one of the youngling creches.
He manages.
Fresh drawers as needed, a bottle of bantha milk to settle, and half the afternoon is gone. Neither Owen nor Beru have graced his door, both suns are still up, and he wants nothing more in all the stars than a nap.
“You're going to escape if I go to sleep, aren't you?”
The response is a yawn, so perfectly timed it could only be a trap.
It is not a trap. The little menace curls up on the pelts of Obi-Wan's bed, and dozes right off. The jedi watches it happen, then turns away with a sigh.
“Your father used to call your mother an angel. I rather think you might consider taking after her. A delightful woman,” his voice grows thin, “a very good person.”
Obi-Wan lets his eyes close as he tips his head up toward the ceiling. There’s no reply, of course. He doesn’t expect one either.
“She would have adored you. Chaos and all.”
Luke snores quietly, a little bubble of snot building on his nose.
The nap lasts long enough for Obi-Wan to collect his thoughts, if nothing else.
“Mplbbb?” Luke asks in a sleepy voice a half hour later, pushing himself up into a sit in the usual manner of a pudgy uncoordinated infant.
“Mplbbb, indeed my young friend. Feeling rested?”
Luke stares. Blinks. Stares some more.
Then tries to escape the cave.
“Ohhhh, no. None of that. Out there is hot and windy and terribly dry. You'll bake.”
Ungrateful for the advice, his charge tries to escape four more times, and Obi-Wan's back begins to complain about all the up and down. The heavy lifting. The hip carries and the odd way it makes him stand.
“Ooof. I sound like pebbles in a jar. Goodness. Let's do something on the floor shall we? Do you like shadow puppets? What about a sock puppet? I do have a spare pair of socks.”
As it turns out, a playmate who can levitate things and make funny voices seems to be all Luke needs to have a great time. The jedi-in-exile ends up making a whole stage production with floating toys, giving each one a different characterization. That the plot mostly consists of a grumpy red rancor with a snobby core accent and anger issues, and a dashing blue fish who just wants a good cup of tea, arguing about donuts and going on a quest across the dunes for baked goods is… pure coincidence.
Okay, so he isn't the most creative individual.
Obi-Wan and Luke have a grand time, all things considered. When night falls with no sign of parental relief, they curl up on his pelts together. He decides to risk a doze, rather than risk being exhausted tomorrow.
With a warm little bundle on his chest, the jedi sleeps better than he has in… quite a while, actually. What irony, that it is Anakin's son who soothes the nightmares born of his father.
When Owen shows up the next morning -thank the force no worse for the wear- Obi-Wan packs up the distractions and diapers and puts Luke back into the arms he belongs in.
It is such a relief.
Luke stares back at him over Owen’s shoulder. Too-blue eyes watching him stay behind as they walk back to the speeder, brows furrowed with an innocent sort of confusion.
“Bii?”
Obi-Wan waves. He smiles. Luke frowns. They go.
The jedi turns away from the dust cloud and heads back inside his cave, where it is quiet, and calm, and there is no destiny awaiting him. No duties to fail, and nothing to mess up.
Nothing to gain and no one to lose.
#obi-wan kenobi isn't forklift certified#obi wan kenobi#Kenobi#luke skywalker#obiwankenobi#baby luke skywalker#baby jedi#skywalker family#tatooine#owen lars#beru whitesun#post tcw#the clone wars#obimaul#star wars#rebels#Star wars rebels#fanfiction#writers on tumblr#ao3#dumpsterfire#desert metaphors#bad parenting#babysitting force users#the force#Star wars au#Skywalker#inundation
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Sweetgrub Tavern
Welcome mediocre bards, bugs, ghouls, werewolves, as well as everyone else, to my blog! Grubhumor. (A rebranding of the original blog name, TheMillipedesLaw, as you can tell that I've deleted everyyyy post except a select few.)
You may call me Osian, Maxie, or Vesp! Maxie is short for Maximillian, and Vesp is short for Vespasian. Your sweet, buggy tavern host, that may or may not have a couple brain problems. I am genderfluid, but you may use He/They/It with me, as well as bug themed neopronouns such as Grub/Grubself, Beetle/Beetleself, or Moth/Mothself!
I post: Art, rambles, random writing.. Actually, I'll post just about whatever I want. I've learned the hard way that too much focus will just make a person burn out.
I enjoy: Animals, bugs, writing, drawing, Lego Monkie Kid, Five Nights at Freddy's, Minecraft, Hollow Knight, Gravity Falls, Viva Pinata, Rise of the TMNT, and so much more!
I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want to be involved with: Racists, Zionists, Proshippers/Darkshippers, Non-Traumagenic Systems, Anti-Therian, Anti-Otherkin, Anti-Agere, CGL/DDLG/MDLB, Radfems, Radqueers, Pro-Para, or lgbtq+ exclusionists.
#digital art#artists on tumblr#oc#five nights at freddys#minecraft#original character#intro post#blog retheme#blog rebrand#introductory post#lego monkie kid#gravity falls#hollow knight#viva piñata#rottmnt#actually disabled#chronically ill#etc etc lol#this user is a certified nerd
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ball guy scares me sometimes but i like their pronouns
#ball guy#pokemon#pokémon#pocketmonsters#bulbagarden#bulbalisia#pokemon masters#certified they/them user
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I’ve never felt more kinship with a celebrity than knowing Oliver Stark probably used canva to make that post
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