#center of it. they were cut off. and i am fine with that because i really do not think there was another way. you can't have another season

[eastgaysian]

Hey, I wasn't sure if I should say so or not in case it would be upsetting to you, but since you brought up the idea of a survey I thought I'd say that I have lost a parent & like you the current season of Succession has had a cathartic effect on me. I've also seen one person on twt say that's the case for them too, so I'm willing to bet a lot of ppl who've lost a parent feels similarly and like... Regardless of if it's a "good" season or not, I think media that helps me process my grief is a positive thing, it has value, or what have you. Obv it's fine for ppl to dislike the season, & ofc I don't wish others could exp that kind of loss, but like 🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes things don't resonate with you until you've experienced smth, & sometimes that happens when you're 0-10, sometimes when you're 50-60

yeah, i started noticing a gap in reactions after connor's wedding between people saying 'that felt far too much like my own experience with a parent/family member dying' and people who acknowledged the skillful execution of the episode but didn't seem to personally connect to it (which generated a couple takes on logan's death and the perceived indignity of it that rubbed me the wrong way, lol). on the one hand my continued posting about the Discourse is because it's aggravating to me, like why is the hot topic of fan discussion 'is the show we're all watching even good?' ??? but on the other, it's genuinely just confusing to me and i'm trying to understand what i'm missing. the minor criticisms that people have cited as the root cause of their dissatisfaction don't add up to me. they feel much more like things that are only noticeable/irritating if you already have some fundamental issue or disconnect with the season.

and i think it really is that this is a season about grief and only about grief, there's no space for anything else. the emotional arcs in other seasons were usually related but distinct - you could focus in on what you liked in particular, whether that was kendall's mental breakdown, roman's freudian mess, shiv's struggle to be taken seriously as a woman, shiv and tom's failmarriage, tom and greg's weirdness, and there'd be enough material for you to chew on and have a good time without worrying all that much about everything else (although i do think being able to understand how all of these connect improves your experience of the show immensely, but i digress).

s4 is about grief. everyone is reacting to logan's death in different ways, but it all comes back to grief. if you're interested in talking about grief, there's so much to explore. if you don't find that engaging, then you're out of luck. it's fine to not find that engaging because you wanted something else out of the season/show, but that doesn't make the season objectively bad or subject to flaws that weren't already present throughout the rest of the show. and yeah, based on my reaction and the reactions of other people i've seen who have that personal experience with death, i think it's a really spectacular depiction of loss and grief that handles all the complex emotions involved with more thought and care than i've seen in other media. it would not be as accurate or impactful a depiction of grief if time and space was spent on something completely unrelated.

i don't think you need to have lost a close family member to connect to the storyline, but i also don't think you can understand what it's like until it happens in your own life. it fucked me up badly when my aunt died in middle school because she had been a major part of my childhood, but the degree to which my dad dying fundamentally altered my life is just incomparable to anything else. you really cannot experience grief as a concept or thought experiment, a person's death is real and permanent in a way nothing else really is. which sounds obvious but it's just true

[latenightdaydreams]

Please do part 2 of Mechanic Konig. I'm begging you!!! Your writing is AMAZING! I have to reread your writing every day because I can't get over it 😩

Thank you!!! I'll be writing a lot more this week, so there will be more! I finally made a part 2!!! I hope you enjoy!!🥰

Mechanic!König x Reader Part 2 (fem)

MDNI🔞

Part 1 here! 🚗

Master List!

>cw: fem/afab, pregnancy, p in v, oral

1.4k word count

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You sit in your car holding your newest ultrasound pictures. You made a last-minute appointment to see the doctor assuming you might have the flu, but being a few days late on your cycle the doctor asked for you to take a pregnancy test. Once it came back positive you were sent to the women’s health center for an ultrasound. You’ve been celibate for almost a whole year, other than your random hook up with that mechanic… You let out a long sigh before driving off.

You pull up in front of his shop, putting the ultrasound photos in your purse before stepping out of the car. Walking up to the open garage door, it’s almost like déjà vu. There König is wearing a white shirt and jeans, covered in oil. He looks up and meets your gaze for a split second before he looks down, realizing who he just saw, his head snaps back up.

“Y/n?” König speaks softly as if surprised to actually see you again. The last few weeks you’re all he has been able to think about. He’s been waiting for you to call or show back up and now here you are. His eyes drift down your body, taking in how amazing you look, and back to your eyes.

“Hi, König.” You walk closer into the garage. “Are you busy right now?”

“No,” he gently shakes his head. He closes the hood of the car he was working on and grabs a rag to clean his hands off. “Do you want to go to my car?”

Yes, you think to yourself, but you came here to talk. “No, I think we should talk.”

König tilts his head when you say no. He drops the dirty rag on the bench behind him and he looks at your cleavage again before back to your eyes.

“Is your car running okay?”

“Yes, its fine.”

“So, what is it?” He leans back as his blue eyes keep glossing over your body. All he can think about is how good you felt and looked naked in the back of his car.

“Um, so, I went to the doctors today.” The word doctor piquing his interest. “And she did a few tests on me…” You stall nervously not knowing how to tell him. What if he reacts poorly?

“Are you pregnant?” König asks, hurrying your story along.

“I am,” you nod softly, “I have ultrasound photos.”

“You do?” He perks up. “How far along are you?”

“11 weeks,” you go into your bag and pull out the ultrasound photos.

König quickly steps forward and grabs them from you.  His eyes glued to the image of a tiny fetus shown on the ultrasounds.  He studies every photo, a flood of emotions rushing through him at this moment. He can’t believe he actually got you pregnant.

“I came to be responsible and tell you. I don’t know what I’m going to do-” he cuts you off.

“I said that I would support the both of you and I meant it.” His eyes meet yours. “I have a big house, I make great money, and you’ll never have to work again Schatzi. You can just focus on raising our baby.”

You don’t say anything as you stand there taking in what he has said. Supporting a whole family is a huge responsibility. You don’t even know him, could you really build a life with him?  

“You laid down with me, you let me get you pregnant. Please, let me take care of you. Both of you.” He reaches a hand out and gently caresses your upper arm. His eyes showing genuine intent as they fall to your stomach even though you aren’t even close to showing yet.

“We don’t even know each other…”

“We will learn,” He looks back down at the ultrasound photos in his hand. “Please.”

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König runs his large hands over your swollen stomach, softly holding it as his eyes watch your growing breast bouncing. Your nipples have darkened and areolas enlarged. You’ve even been gaining weight, making your thighs and ass bigger. Your changing body is a beautiful sight to behold and it’s changing all because of him. Small moans of pleasure leaving his lips as he watching you eagerly bounce on his cock. Since you entered your second trimester, your hormones have been all over the place making you extremely horny. König is loving every second of it.

“König,” you whimper his name out as you feel yourself getting ready to reach your third orgasm.

“Ja, Liebing, there you go, let it out.”

He moves one of his hands down and begins to rub your sensitive clit with his thumb. He moves in slow focused circles making your legs begin to tremble. You slow down and lean forward slightly, letting out loud moans as your velvety walls flutter around his cock. König takes deep breaths and tries to focus his mind to not cum yet, he knows you aren’t done. Once he feels your body relax, he moves his hand away from your clit.

He gently lifts your body and leans back, grabbing a pillow and putting it under your head before laying you down gently. His eyes roam down your body as he bends down to lick your nipples, softly sucking on them as he feels your fingers comb through his short hair. He lines his cock up with your entrance and pushes himself back into you, mouth still latched to your breast.

“Oh yes, please.” You push his head away so he can sit up. “Fuck me harder.”

König nods his head as his hands wrap around your thick thighs, he pulls your legs apart and back making sure to be careful with your baby bump. König can’t believe how beautiful you look; how tight your cunt feels. He can’t believe how he got so lucky with you.

Your eyes trace the shape of his muscular body, seeing how his muscles flex under the light sheen of sweat covering his body. Your hands gripping the bedsheets as he fills your small cunt completely. You feel euphoric burst of pleasure every time he thrust forward; you clench down on him. König lets out a loud moan in response.

“Meine Liebe, I’m going to cum.” König’s voice cracks as he doesn’t slow his motion. His toes curling and eyes fluttering.

“No, please don’t stop, I’m not done yet.” You pant, feeling your next orgasm just beginning to build.

“Es tut mir Leid,” König chokes out as his hands drop your legs and move up to your full breast and squeezes them. His motion slows as his cock throbs inside of you.

Once he finishes, he pulls out and drops to his stomach, placing his head between your legs. He begins to lick your clit, his tongue flicking back and forth causing you to squirm and moan softly. One hand rest on you stomach as the other pushes two fingers into your cunt full of his cum. Curling his fingers up, he begins to finger you, quickly moving his arm. He tastes the mixture of your creamy cunt and his salty seamen.

“Right there, please don’t stop.” You moan in a whiney tone; König loves to hear it.

He doesn’t stop as his lips wrap around your swollen clit and sucks. His fingers rubbing against your g-spot rapidly as your back arches. Listening to you moan out his name as your squeeze his head between your plump thighs he lets out a satisfied groan into your cunt. Finally, you orgasm, he licks long laps up and down your pussy before pulling his fingers out.

He looks up and smiled at you as you lay there catching your breath. He has an air of arrogance about him, being able to make you cum so many times.

“I’m going to go clean up Liebling, I’ll be back with a towel to clean you too.” König leans in and kisses your belly before standing from the bed and going to the bathroom,

Once he was all clean, he grabbed a towel and began to walk back to you in the bedroom. Once there he sees you fast asleep, cuddling the blanket. König can’t help but to smile. He leaves the towel at the edge of the bed and tries to cover you the best he can without waking you up.

König decides to get dressed and goes to the nursery to continue painting, what he was doing before you ask to be fucked. He opens up the can of paint and pours some in the tray. Getting the roller covered in paint, he begins to cover the last white wall in the room with a pale pink color.

[gold-dustwomxn]

mystified

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

fair warning, future chapters will include discussions of abuse and other heavy topics. each part will contain its own warnings please read them! eventual smut

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

cw: small interaction with a scary man, smoking weed

fluff fluff and more fluff, a little angst. protective ellie makes an appearance

inhale, exhale. grunts and bodies slamming against gym mats could be heard outside the big double doors of ‘miller’s defense studio.’ news of women being attacked at night had been circulating quite loudly in your sleepy town. dad says you should attend the free session, be able to defend yourself if anything happens. only problem was half the town was in here and you fucking hated being around large groups of people. you had your pepper spray keychain on you at all times, did you really need to learn how to fight? yeah, probably.

one of the many annoying things about being in such a small town is knowing everyone. at least your best friend dina and her boyfriend jesse were here to soften the blow of all of this chaos.

sat on the sidelines, you observe everyone attempting to show off sloppy, embarrassing ‘defense’ moves. jesse spots you and obnoxiously yells your name across the gym. rolling your eyes, you make your way over to him and dina.

“hey, ___ you’re late and you’re not gonna like what I have to tell you,” he smiles nervously. darting your eyes from him to dina, you eye them warily, regretting coming here even more now. “well? spit it out jesse.”

“jesus ok. well since you’re so late, there’s no one else for you to pair up with-“ you cut him off, “oh? that’s fine I’ll just watch then.” him and dina look at each other before she looks at you cautiously. “well, the only other person who doesn’t have a partner is the instructor for today.” you squint your eyes towards the front of the room trying to make out who it is, and oh fuck no, it’s ellie. the girl you’ve had a crush on for quite some time.

“ha, no fucking way. you guys can just teach me later. I am not making a fool of myself in front of her and the whole fucking town. you know I hate being the center of attention and she’s gonna demonstrate on me to teach everyone!” you turn your body attempting to walk away.

dina grabs your forearms softly trying to chill you out with her witchy, calming demeanor. because seriously how is she able to do that with just her touch? “you’re gonna be fine, ___. just breathe. no one else knows what they’re doing either, that’s why we’re here. you’re not gonna look like a fool,” she nods at you slowly, “plus, jesse already told her you’d be her partner.” she gives you an apologetic smile.

“ugh. why can’t you be her partner jesse? she’s your best friend.” dina grabs jesse’s arm and nuzzles into his side with a gross, love drunk smile. “because, I wanna be with my man. sorry, babe but you can do this. you can shamelessly use this as an excuse to be close to her anyway” she wiggles her eyebrows.

“oh my god,” you scoff and roll your eyes, “you guys seriously suck.”

an ear piercing whistle startles you, nearly making you jump out of your skin, and the room goes quiet. “good morning everyone, I’m ellie. welcome to miller’s defense studio. today, I’m going to be teaching you guys basic self defense techniques. learning self defense is more than how to prevent an attacker from overpowering you, but also about keeping a clear and calm head in the face of danger and how to gain the upper hand..”

her introduction speech fades from your ears as you observe her confident demeanor. dressed only in a simple white wife-beater tank and sweatpants, she still stands tall with a commanding presence. her hair sits in a low bun at the back of her neck, tattoo on full display while her toned arms move animatedly as she speaks.

you blink a few times snapping out of it as dina taps your shoulder and looks at you. “what?” she nods her head at ellie who is looking at you, waiting for you to join her at the front. your eyes widen briefly, “oh fuck.” you mutter under your breath.

you quickly walk up to her in embarrassment and she smirks at you as if she knows something that you don’t. she puts her hand on your hip and leans to turn on the bluetooth speaker behind you. “hey ___” she whispers in your ear. goosebumps travel down your body. fuck, this is gonna be a long day.

after some basic blocking and hitting techniques, ellie decides to teach everyone how to throw an attacker over your shoulder. many cry of “what if they’re taller or heavier?” blah blah, doesn’t matter. next thing you know, ellie turns and steps away from you, grabs your arm, squatting and lifts your hips against her ass before pulling your arm forward, rolling you off her hips onto the floor, wind knocked out of you, hand now around your throat. you lay there stunned, out of breath as ellie’s face hovers close to yours. you take a small glance at her lips before looking up into her eyes and she smirks, also out of breath. fuck, you were caught.

with everyone now practicing the technique, she grabs your hand and pulls you up. “you okay? didn’t go too rough on you?” she places her hands on her hips and looks you up and down so quickly that you could’ve easily missed it if you weren’t paying close attention.

you laugh “no, no, I’m fine. that was pretty crazy. when did you learn how to do all of this shit? I mean, I knew joel had this place obviously but I didn’t know you were involved in it.”

“hm.. well, when joel adopted me I had some.. anger issues, getting into fights all the time. he eventually gave up on trying to ‘change my ways’ and decided to train me how to fight properly so I wouldn’t hurt myself.. tricked me into taking out my aggression elsewhere, so I guess he ended up changing me anyway..” she chuckles “but, yeah I don’t teach or join in on the classes, I do it on my own time. joel’s been booked up so he convinced me to do this for him.” she scratches the back of her neck sheepishly and blushes. you wonder if it’s because she told you something personal or it’s because it’s her first time teaching.

“well.. I wouldn’t have guessed this was your first time. you really know how to command a room. you’re a natural,” you smile at her shyly. “dunno know if I really feel prepared to come up against an attacker though, maybe you could teach me some more.” you mentally pat yourself on the back for your brave attempt at flirting.

she laughs, “oh yeah?” moving closer to you. you look at her briefly before looking away. “mhm!” is what you come up with. jesus christ. she laughs again and nods. “alright, I guess I can make an exception for you and give you some free lessons. I’m gonna go do the closing speech or whatever the fuck joel wanted me to do..” she looks somewhere behind you and her eyes widen. you follow her line of sight and see dina and jesse look away abruptly. okay, suspicious.

as everyone is packing up their belongings, you make your way over to jesse and dina. dina smirks at you, “so?”

“so what..?” you furrow your brows. “how’d it go up there?” before you can respond, ellie comes over and greets you guys. “ellie! ___ and jesse are coming over tonight, you wanna come smoke and chill?” she looks at you as she answers “yeah, sure” she shrugs and then looks over at dina and jesse, “just text me and let me know.”

as you walk to dina’s house, the cold bitter air of winter sends a chill down your spine. all of a sudden you hear a car pulling up next to you and a window rolling down. the sound of a man’s voice has your adrenaline pumping. walking away quickly, you put your phone to your ear and pretend that you’re talking to someone “hey! you think you can help me with some directions? my phone is dead and I’m lost.” your heart is racing and you click off the safety on your pepper spray. another car comes to a screeching halt behind you. a slam of a car door and quick footsteps has you looking back in fear.

ellie comes into your line of sight and puts you behind her, looking at the man with a challenging gaze “is there a fucking problem here?” you hear a flicking sound and look down, eyes widening when you see a switchblade in her hand. he skids off and she manages to take a picture of his plates, putting the switchblade in her back pocket before turning to you. she gently grabs your shoulders and looks at you in concern. “you okay? what happened?” she looks down at your hands and you hadn’t realized until now that you’re shaking. “c’mon.” she grabs your hand and leads you to her car, opening the passenger door for you.

“why are you walking around by yourself? jesus, ___ you could’ve been..” she looks away from you, cutting herself off and shakes her head, clenching her jaw. “I would’ve picked you up.” she starts the car, and pulls away from the curb.

“I know! fuck. dina lives so close I thought- yeah it wasn’t smart knowing what’s been happening.” she turns her head to look at you briefly, her gaze softening. “just text me or something next time okay? I don’t want you walking around by yourself, I’ll pick you up.” you nod and take a deep breath. “thanks for the save,” you laugh, trying to soften the mood. she, however does not laugh which makes you even more nervous. great, you think, I pissed her off. she glances at you, noticing your nervous fidgeting. she briefly squeezes your hand “it’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe” she gives you a small smile. you feel butterflies in your stomach. the rollercoaster of emotions from fear to anxiety and now to the feelings ellie is giving you are a lot.

“I’m gonna stop back home to show joel the pics of the plates and tell him what happened so he can take it to the authorities or whatever. I don’t really wanna be the one talking to the cops. you want me to drop you off at dina’s first?” she glances at you. “no, it’s cool I’ll come with you.”

ellie’s house can be described as old and rustic. outdated wood paneling lining the walls, decor and photos that give it a country feel, the cozy smell and crackling sound of the lit fireplace flooding your senses.

joel greets you warmly. small town means he’s seen you grow up, being friendly with your parents. his demeanor is rough around the edges with a don’t fuck with me attitude, but also very polite and caring. you now realize how similar ellie is to him.

as ellie explains the fucked up situation which occurred minutes ago, your phone vibrates in your pocket.

dina🤍: dont kill me pls but I have to cancel tonight. my mom found out im failing stats and she’s on the fuckin warpath. ill make it up to u promise xx

me: fuccck i’m at ellies rn she saved me from some shit i’ll tell u ab it later but now i’m nervous help🥲 sorry ab ur mom i’ll pray for ur soul

you lock your phone and put it back in your pocket. the internal panic of now having to be alone with ellie settles deep in your gut.

ellie walks over to you “alright, joel said he’s gonna deal with it. you all set to go?”

“did dina text you? check your phone.”

you watch ellie’s eyes glide across her screen and it gives you a moment to ogle over how fucking attractive she is. her long lashes, sharp jawline and freckles more pronounced due to the soft glow from her phone emitting against the low lighting of the room. she looks up at you with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “uhh fuck, well, do you want me to take you home?.. or we can hang out here if you want.” she looks away from you.

“yeah, I’m down to hang” you smile at her. she gives a small smile back and blushes. alright, maybe she feels the same way I do. “okay cool, you wanna smoke and watch a movie?”

smoke hazes around ellie’s dim lit room and the movie in the background is long forgotten. you’re laughing so fucking hard with tears in your eyes, and you don’t know if it’s because you’re so high or if ellie is really that funny. “you really decked your foster sibling in the face because he borrowed your savage starlight comic ellie?” she scoffs and throws a pillow at you. “he did not borrow it.. he stole that shit and thought he could get away with it. can’t let people fuck around with you like that in the system. makes you an easy target” she takes another drag of the joint.

“uh-huh,” you grab the joint and take a hit “well, clearly these kids learned not to fuck with the big, bad aggressive ellie huh?” she laughs and rolls her eyes “oh my god, shut up, ___.”

ellie thinks about how she likes that you’re not taking pity on her for her fucked up childhood, and how it’s so easy to talk to you. it feels natural opening up to you, not being able to do that with other people, not even jesse. it makes her like you even more.

you groan as you try to peel your heavy, post high eyes open feeling warmth around you, inhaling a scent filled with clean laundry and a hint of woodsy cologne. you open your eyes and see a sleeping ellie, mouth slightly parted, breathing slowly. your eyes widen, realizing your head is on her chest and her arm is wrapped around you. you glance over at her clock that reads 3:54am. fuck, you don’t even remember falling asleep. you move slightly trying not to wake ellie to text your mom saying that you fell asleep at dina’s. ellie stirs and groans, pulling you closer to her. fuck it. you don’t know if this will ever happen again. you close your eyes and drift back to sleep.

[oneforthemunny]

YAY MY FIRST TIME DOING THIS GAME!!!

Rockstar!eddie, rehab, angst (because I have been think of this concept all day)

starting the day off strong with some angst! tw bc it does mention drug abuse and some darker kinda themes.

"Eddie Munson," Eddie looked up from the guitar he'd been strumming towards the nurse- no, the holistic helper at the door. They didn't use words like that here, not at this rehab.

"You have a visitor here." She nodded, giving a soft smile.

Eddie set the guitar down, tucking the pick back between the strings, following the woman down the long hallway of the center. The music room was where he spent most of his time these days. He'd tried hiking and the spa once he'd finished detox, but always came back there- his own oasis in his own personal hell.

"We're going to go back to your room for this meeting, if that's alright with you, Eddie." The nurse smiled gently.

"Fine with me." Eddie grumbled, his shoulders feeling heavier and heavier with each passing step.

Ninety days, it's what he agreed to. He felt better after twenty, but he'd finish it out- for you, for your girls, his family that he'd fucked selfishly. His stomach turned at the thought.

"And, there's no limit on this visit today." The nurse stopped before she opened the door. "So no need to feel pressured to rush."

Eddie's brows furrowed. It was Gareth, maybe Jeff, he knew it was. They were the only ones who came to visit him anyways. Still, he grumbled in response, turning the knob to his room. It was nice, a private suite that felt more like a hotel room than the prison cell it'd become.

"Hey, man, didn't know you were coming by today. I've been working on some stuf-" Eddie's breath hitched, falling flat in the air when he turned.

It felt nearly like a mirage, like he might have been dreaming, hallucinating that you were here. Here, on his bed, sitting too rigidly to be comfortable, arms wrapped around yourself.

"Working on stuff?" You hummed, eyes barely meeting his and he didn't miss the way you swallowed. "What kind of stuff?"

"Y-You're here?" Eddie croaked, shutting the door with a harsh snap. "Wha-What are you doin' here, baby?" Every bit of his being screamed to hug you, hands tingling and twitching- itching to feel you, to hold you.

You shifted uncomfortably, finger running over your ring finger out of habit. Eddie nearly threw up when he saw you'd gone without your ring, he wondered how long ago you'd stopped wearing it.

"Um, Gareth came by the other day to see the girls." Your eyes cut to Eddie at the mention of them, how his face nearly crumbled at the thought. "He told me you'd been doing much better. Told me you were scared straight."

"Yeah." Eddie nodded. He was frozen, unable to move, so he stood in the doorway. "I am. I-I..." There was a million things Eddie wanted to say. He wanted to drop to his knees, beg for your forgiveness, for mercy, for anything.

"He," Your voice cracked, turning your head politely to the side to compose yourself. So prim and proper, Eddie's heart leapt at the action- he'd missed it so fucking much.

"He also brought me your letter." Your lip wobbled at the mention, pressing them tightly together to keep yourself from bursting into tears. Ten pages, front to back, with scribbling, tear soaked, inked ramblings about his feelings- poured his heart out onto those pages. Everything he'd ever wanted to say in his entire life, there on those pages, his whole bleeding heart.

"He did." Eddie sounded relieved, shoulders slumping, rounding with the weight of everything he'd kept in for so long.

You nodded slowly, watching him carefully from your own perch. "The girls made you some things." Your voice shook with your hands when you reached in your bag, piles of drawing and scribbles they'd made for Eddie.

Eddie looked at the colorful papers, just a glimpse in your hand, choking on a sob that was tearing mercilessly through his chest. "I, um, I didn't bring them today." You barely met Eddie's eyes, hand smoothing over the construction paper. "I didn't think you'd want them to see you like this."

"No," Eddie shook his head, tears falling down his stubbled cheeks. "No, I-I don't. Thank you."

The air was thick between the two of you, an unsure uncomfortable feeling that left you both on ease. Eddie finally sobbed when your hand brushed his, passing the drawings to him.

"I'm-I'm so sorry." Eddie broke, teeth gritted, trying to swallow back his own cries, hand holding yours tightly. "I don't-I don't know why I-I fucking did that. Why I did it to you, a-and to the girls, and fuck- I don't know why-" Eddie's sobs choked his words.

You knew you shouldn't have, that you should have stood strong, colder and meaner. Your mind screamed at you to stop, but you couldn't- not when your own heart was shattering all over again. So you held him, arms wrapped around his torso, body moving towards his in that familiar way. Your puzzle piece, you two fit so well. His arms hugging you tightly, nearly crushing you into his chest like he wanted you to fuse to him. Eddie's face pressed to your head, wetting your scalp with his tears, nose rubbing into your skin babbling apologies over and over again, promises that he would keep, that you hoped he would.

[lvrsparadise]

'JEALOUS' - M.S

Synopsis - She's always liked him.

Warnings! - Profanity, kissing, reader being jealous, Matt n reader being cute, fluff

A/N - Okay. I want to kms because I had originally written out something so beautiful for this. And then I accidently deleted something, and I forgot that if I press control z it ERASES THE WHOLE DAMN THING! So, this is a re-write. Enjoy!

Work was so tiring. I got cut from the floor at 7 instead of 9, when I was supposed to get off, because I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. And not to mention the weird drunk creep who kept asking my co-workers and I, very uncomfortable questions. I sigh as I clock out of the system and grabbing my stuff before saying bye to my co-workers.

I walk out the back to my car. I open the driver door and throw my stuff in the passenger seat. I just sit there and recollect myself before I put the key in the ignition, turning on the car.

Thee drive back to my house was quiet. I didn't have the radio on, I didn't have the windows down. I wasn't even on the phone with anybody. Today was that stressful.

'I'm going to have to ask my maneger for more hours next shift.'

I pull into my driveway and grab my stuff, turning off the car and walking to my front door. I open it and am immediately bombarded by my puppy, Sam, and my cat Mr. Murray.

I set my stuff down on the couch before walking upstairs to my room. I get undressed and hop in the shower. After my very refreshing shower, I throw on some comfier clothes - a pair of pink and black plaid pajama pants, a white tank top, and one of Matt's hoodies he left over.

I flop on my bed with a sigh. I sit up and open my phone, opening my messages app before clicking on Matt's contact. Matt is my brother's best friend. Well, actually, Chris is my brother's best friend, but I learned that they're a package deal. Get one, get all.

1 ring. 2 rings.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

I breathe out a small sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

"Hey. Yeah, no everything's fine. I've just had a stressful day and I was wondering if we could go for like a drive or something?"

"Yeah, no that's fine. I'll be over in 10."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Always."

That's the last thing I hear before the line goes dead. Knowing he's going to be here in less than 10 minutes, I slip on my converse and head downstairs.

I love on and play with Sam and Mr. Murray for about 5 or 6 minutes before I hear a car pull in my driveway. I instantly recognize it as Matt's car. I grab my wallet, just in case, my keys, and my phone, placing all of them in the pocket of the hoodie. I hear a knock at my door and Sam barks. I yell out his name to get him to stop barking as I open the door.

There he is. Looking perfect as ever. Even in sweats and a hoodie. He's wearing that damn smile. One I return gratefully.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I close my door behind me as I walk out, locking it as well before I walk over to the passenger side of the car. I get in and so does Matt. He pulls out of my driveway and starts driving around with no destination.

"How was your day? Why was it stressful?" He turns is head towards me as we're at a red light.

"Well, I got cut from the floor early because we were dead, and I had no tables. I made barely $40 in tips. I also had to work with that one girl I told you about. She made the day ten times worse. And this morning, Sam thought it would be nice to wake me up with a surprise next to my bed." I rest my elbow on the center console, resting my chin on my hand as I look out the window.

"Yikes." I hear him say as the light finally turns green and we start driving again.

"What about you? Anything fun happen?"

"Chris almost like, broke the ceiling in the warehouse."

"How in the hell?"

"I have no idea; I wasn't around when it happened. But Nick was and he kept making jokes about it reminding Chris that he did it. It was hilarious." He chuckles quietly.

"I bet."

"Oh shit."

"Hmm?" I turn my head towards him, his gaze switching between the road and the dashboard behind the steering wheel.

"I'm almost out of gas. I think I have enough to get us to that 7-11." He jerks his chin towards a 7-11 that's not too far. It's dark out, not many cars are on the road, the gas station seems empty.

He pulls into the gas station, pulling up to a gas pump. He turns the car off after rolling down the windows a little bit. He gets out and walks over to the pump, which is next to me because for some reason, the gas tank is on the right side of his car instead of the left. So, as he fills the tank up, he's also leaning on my window, talking to me.

"Did anything interesting happen in your day though?"

"Um, let's see. Oh, there was this older gentleman who tipped me $25 for being the best server he's had. He was celebrating his anniversary, but he said that his wife had passed away a few years ago. So, every year on their anniversary, he goes out and gets himself a meal. It was so sweet, it almost made me cry."

"Wow. That does sound swe-"

He's cut off by a girl walking up to him, looking to be around our ages, maybe a year or so older. She's talking with hi and flirting with him. I feel my blood run cold with jealousy at the realization she's flirting. Matt's hand is like holding onto the window, his hand partially in the car. I take advantage of that and I somewhat intwine our fingers, my own mindlessly playing with his.

Either she can't see me through the somewhat tinted windows, or is openly ignoring my presence, she asks him out to dinner. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine back. I hear him say 'Oh, I can't sorry. My girl is in the car' and my heart skips a beat. Multiple beats actually.

He finishes filling most of his tank and pays before walking over to the driver's side as quick as he can speed walk without running. He turns the car on at lightning speed. He starts to drive off to my house.

The drive is silent. Other than the really quiet hum f whatever is on the radio, there is not a peep coming from either of us.

About halfway through the drive back to my house, he reaches his right hand over the center console and grabs my left hand, interlocking our hands before resting them on his thigh. My chest is filled with butterflies. My head is empty. I feel my face heat up as I turn to look out the window next to me.

We pull up to my house. As soon as he puts the car in park, I'm out the car and making a b-line for my front door, unlocking it in record time. I didn't realize Matt was hot on my heels until I turn to close the front door, his hand stopping it. I sigh in defeat knowing I won't win. He pushes the door open and then walks in, closing it behind him.

"Were you jealous?"

"What? I have no Idea what you're talking about Matt." I place my wallet and keys on a table I have next to the door for that reason. Of course, I was jealous, but I would never admit it out loud. Especially to the guy I was getting jealous about.

He shakes his head and crosses his arms "Wrong. Were you jealous?"

I roll my eyes slightly "Matt- I don't get why you're asking me this. It would be the same if it were me-"

"No, it wouldn't."

"Wha-"

"A guy touches you? Jealous. A guy flirts with you? Jealous. Takes you on a date? Kisses you? I'm jealous. I'm jealous as hell. How have you not known? I'm not very secretive about it at all. Now I'm going to ask you one last time. Were you jealous?" His voice, despite being stern and angry, it still is soft and kind.

I sigh in defeat, crossing my own arms, mirroring his pose. "Yeah. I was. I was very jealous."

There is nothing said after that. And there doesn't need to be. Next thing I know, I'm being softly pinned against the wall and Matt's hands are on me. One on my cheek and the other on my waist. I try to look at the hand on my waist but the hand on my face makes me look into his eyes. He doesn't say much, but words aren't necessary right now. He leans in and kisses me.

The kiss is soft, tender, sweet, and everything a hopeless romantic like myself could ever want. I entangle my hands in his hair, closing whatever space was between us.

After what felt like hours, but was really 20 seconds, we pull back for air. Both of us are panting.

"I'm taking you out Friday. 6:00. I pick you up, with flowers, take you to dinner, then I take you to a 7:00 movie, then we walk on the beach before I take you back home and kiss you goodnight. How does that sound?"

Although my eyes are still closed, I hear the smile in his voice, and at his words I can't hold back a smile of my own. I open my eyes and look into his beautiful blue ones that look like they're the ocean. I swear I get lost in them for a few seconds before replying.

"That sounds perfect."

I don't have a taglist for the Sturniolos!

If you want to be in it, all you have to do is ask! <3

I love all of y'all!

[im00flynn]

Hero of the day

Summary: You attempted to stop Miles from causing more anomalies in other dimensions by preventing his Canon event. while you do so, you get sent to another dimension and learn some things you didn't know before.

Warnings: Sort of Yandere, Angst, maybe some fluff. Red text = Earth 42 Miles

You knew as soon as Miles stepped into the machine to send him home, it was a bad sign.

All the spidermen came after him, preventing him from causing more anomalies.

"Miles Stop!" You yell out to him as you manage to end up inside with him.

before you could say anything else to back him out of his plan, you get sent to another dimension.

you hit the roof of an apartment building alongside Miles. As you get up from your spot, you realize something is wrong.

this place is different from your original dimension.

"[Name], Why did you follow me?" Miles questions you.

"I wanted to stop you from making a mistake you'd regret." You tell him while still wondering whether or not this place is your dimension.

"It's fine, let's just go to my place and protect my dad." He says as he takes your hand and swings away.

-------------------------------------------------------

After a while, you make it to his apartment. As you make your way into his room, you notice his room looks off.

'something is definitely wrong.' You think to yourself.

as you look around his room, Miles tells you that nobody else is home and that it's alright to look around the rest of the apartment.

Just as you're about to enter the kitchen, the front door opens, and in comes someone who you thought was dead.

Uncle Aaron.

"[Name], long time no see." He says to you while pulling you into a hug.

"Hey, it's um.. good to see you too.." You respond with an awkward smile.

you both separate from the hug, and he asks you, "Where's Miles?"

as soon as he said that Miles came in and freezes right in his tracks.

"Uncle Aaron," he says to himself in disbelief.

"Miles, when did you take out your braids?" he questions while holding out his hand for him to shake.

Miles shakes his hand but then pulls him into a hug.

it was a nice moment to see, but you were still on edge about all of this.

"C'mon, he gotta go. we got business to take care of," Uncle Aaron tells him while walking towards the front door.

"What about -" Miles asks before getting suddenly cut off by his uncle, "her too."

you both follow him to the roof of the apartment complex, while up there, you look around, and something catches your eye.

it's a mural of you. You're dead in this dimension.

"Miles.." You call out while still looking at the mural.

he comes over to you and looks to where you're looking and gasps, "Does this mean we're -" Before he can respond, he glitches.

Uncle Aaron looks over at the two of you, then to the mural with a stone cold, dead expression.

Before you could question anything else you feel a prick in your neck and suddenly you feel weak and tired, before you lose consciousness you see a somewhat familiar mask staring at you while holding your body in a loving matter. then you're unconscious.

-------------------------------------------------------

You later wake up, and you notice you're no longer on the roof but on a couch in what looks like a living room.

you look around to see Miles tied to a punching bag in the center of the room, with Uncle Aaron working on something in the corner of the room

you try to go over to Miles to untie him, but you don't get that far as you look down to see that you're chained to the couch.

The chain moving must have caught his uncle's attention because, when you look back up, he's staring right at you.

"What the hell is this? why am I chained to the couch?" You question him, but while you do so, you feel eyes staring at you from behind you.

you look behind you, look up the ceiling beams, and see the mask you saw before you lost consciousness.

the figure jumps down and slowly makes its ways to you, your eyes stare in shock, and you start to feel anxious.

The figure stops right in front of you and slowly rests its hand on your cheek.

"You're really here." The masked figure says to you while he begins stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Who...who are you?" You question while your heart starts to race.

Before he answers, his mask retracts to reveal his face to you, leaving your eyes to go wide and stare at him with disbelief.

"I'm Miles Morales, I'm glad to see you again, amor." He tells you before he goes to plant a kiss on your forehead

"Miles, please just let me go. I don't belong here and I need to go home." You tell him with pleading eyes.

he shakes his head and tisks, "Mami, don't you understand? you're not safe without me being there for you, I already lost my [Name], and I'm not going to lose another." He explains to you.

You look into his eyes with tears threatening to spill out, Miles takes note of this and pulls you into a hug.

"Don't worry princesa, If you stay here I'll protect you from any harm, okay mami?" he tells you.

you don't know what overcomes you, but you nod and accept his offer, and you hug him tighter

he's pleased when you accept his offer, and he places a kiss on the top of your head and then rests his forehead against yours.

"I'll protect you from any harm, mi amor."

A/N: I apologize if this was cringe or poorly written. if you have something you'd like me to write, feel free to request me to write it!

[sleepanonymous]

I was just gonna reblog the original "hey look I am toe-to-toe with this tiny ass stage" post I made, but I have a Mother Token face reveal + marriage proposal video to share with you all below the cut 👇

So some good news first, my ears are fine. Zeal & Ardor got a little loud near the end but, I had no ringing or tinnitus and no noticeable hearing loss. I had watched some videos of Zeal & Ardor and Gaerea on the East Coast from earlier on this tour, and the videos seemed fucking loud 🤷‍♀️ Not complaining, it was still great.

Backing up a few hours: my original plan was to get to the venue around 2-2:30 pm. I started getting ready around 1 pm, thinking that should give me enough time (venue was a 4 minute walk from my hotel). Turns out faking a '90s-style blow-out with a flat iron takes 3 times longer than just straightening your hair 🤷‍♀️ Who would have guessed? Anyway, after that and makeup and having a mini crisis about my outfit, I ended up going to the venue around 4 pm; 2 hours before doors. I must have PTSD from Sleep Token or something because I was expecting a full line but I ended up being #9.

Two Sleep Token girlies got in line behind me, but I was too shy to try talking to them really until later on. One of them, plus about three or four people in front of me, had a VIP meet/greet with Gaerea. About an hour before doors, a rep for that band came out and collected the people with those tickets and got shirt sizes and all that and I figured "okay, cool, he's gonna bring them into the venue an hour early." NOPE. Senhor Vocalist just fuckin waltzes out two minutes later to meet everyone. Like, I can't explain it because I haven't seen his face before but I recognized him instantly by his shoulders (then later by his tattoos). I made really fucking awkward eye contact with him and then decided the only safe place to look was the railing outside the venue. Anyway he greeted everyone really quick, then walked back inside for a minute, came back with the guitarist, and then the rest of the band joined them after another moment. Then the band just walked off with the VIPers and those fans didn't come back until doors already opened.

After the ID/ticket check, we lined up on the opposite side of the venue and I ended up at #5 in line (after letting the remaining Sleep Token girlie cut me, since she went in to use the restroom). They let us in right at 6 pm and I was the second one to the stage, standing right next to the first guy in line at center stage, which was literally only 2 feet tall btw. I had looked up photos of the venue online and it's literally worse (or better depending on personal perspective) in person.

The first band, Zetra, played us about an hour's worth of Mortiis music between doors and their set, which quite literally is DnD dungeon music. 10/10 do recommend, very vibes, much atmosphere. The duo themselves were amazing, and I realized after the fact that Sleep Token's manager plus Lyns (Espera) follow them so 👀

Halfway through Zetra's set, I realized the guy next to me was taking photos, so I worked up the courage to film two of their songs. I felt super awkward about it because I was three feet away from the guitarist. Afterward, he came out in a jumpsuit after the set to help break down, but was still in full corpse paint and had his hair stuffed into a baseball cap. He chatted with the front row a tiny bit as he worked and he’s super nice and funny 🥹

Right before Gaerea went on, a girl with a media badge squeezed in between me and the other guy at center stage for the first two songs. I'm still trying to find her social media because she got tons of great shots and some footage. Meanwhile, me on the other hand, got three and a half chaotic videos that consist mostly of Senhor Vocalist's groin 😭 Like, ISTG Senhor, I'm not trying to film your crotch, its just that I cannot hold my phone any higher (would literally be shoved in his face) or lower (I wouldn't be able to see my phone screen) 😭😭 About 75% of the time this happened I would panic and film the guitarists and bassist or the drummer. Aaand then the video below happened 🤩

I guess we are legally married now 🤷‍♀️ idk I don't make the rules. Anyway, hi, that's me, making major heart eyes for like 3 frames. You can also see the Sleep Token girlies right behind me. In my search for the media girl's profile, I actually found one of their TikToks instead: thecottagecorehore

Even though I was in the front row (I keep wanting to say barricade but there was no barricade lol) it got really hot between Gaerea and Zeal & Ardor. Like I was regretting wearing a turtleneck sweater (Yeah that was my panic outfit, black turtleneck + 90’s hair + ripped skinny jeans + platform oxford shoes because I am insane). It didn't cool down either, half the guys around me plus Zeal & Ardor were drenched in sweat halfway through. Didn't affect their stage presence at all though; Manuel is actually very smiley/giggly and it made everything a million times better. Actually, the fake setlist gives you a pretty good idea of the vibes:

Wake of a Nation Götterdämmerung So yeah this is a fake setlist And if you're reading it and we will play some songs you like it Thanks for coming to the show ☠️WOW NEAT☠️ We like to call the song To My Ilk Turbo Milk Do you like our joke Encore Garbage Thanks Phoenix Love Zeal and Ardor Clawing Out

Vessel should take notes 😂 I appreciate Sleep Token being upfront about the Teeth of God setlist and not trying to hide it from the fans on the barricade, but imagine if we got something like : "Oh bugger, this is a fake setlist. Cheers!"

Also Manuel's water bottle sticker says Defend Equality 🖤

I uploaded a few videos to YouTube already. Depending on my data usage, I might upload a few more at the end of the month/next month.

[celaenaeiln]

Damian: Richard! He won't give me the remote!

Tim: It's my turn! You had it last time!

Damian: You said that last time too!!

Tim: And I meant it!

Damian: Richard!

Tim: Dick!

Dick: *on the comms* please. I'm not even done patrolling yet.

----

Dick: *having a serious conversation with Bruce*

Tim: *running in* Dick he scratched me!

Damian: *running in after* Richard, he's lying, I barely even touched him!

Tim: You literally dug your nails into my skin! Look!

Damian: There's nothing there!

Dick: Bruce-

Bruce: I need to catch an uber.

Dick: I checked your schedule, you don't even have anywhere you need to go-

-----

*on a cruise*

Jason: so you decided to go with the purple one?

Dick: Well, it's not really purple, it's wine-colored and while I was in korea, did you know they have palette matching shops?

Jason: wait, really?

Dick: Yea, so you go into the place and they try several different colors against your skin to see which one would suit you best and then they try different shades. Since I have a warm skin tone they gave me a bunch of suggestions to try so I'm trying them out.

Jason: huh. Looks good.

Dick: Thanks! I'll-

*sounds of screaming and yelling*

Dick: What's going on?

Jason: I don't know, probably kids just having fun. So what were you saying?

Dick: um..oh! That I'll send you-

Frat Guy 1: *running by talking to his friend* -dude I still can't believe I'm going to see it! I thought this cruise would be so boring since most of us couldn't be here!

Frat Guy 2: I know right?! Who thought we'd see people getting arrested in the middle of an ocean?!!!

Dick: ..arrested?

Frat Guy 2: *still talking* who even happens to just own a sword in the first place?!

Frat Guy 1: WICKED!!

Dick: ....jay, I'm not mishearing that right?

Jason: Mishearing what?

Dick: He said sword. He said sword.

Jason: I didn't hear anything.

Dick: *running after the frat guys to find a crowd of people with Tim and Damian in the center and cruise ship officers*

Damian: -UNHAND ME YOU HEATHENS, OR I WILL TRULY SHOW YOU HOW I USE THE SWORD-

Tim: Officers, I promise these nunchucks were used as decoration. They were just in the swimming pool by chance. I have no idea what's going on or even why I just happened to have them but I promise that-Dick! Tell them it's all a misunderstanding! If it wasn't for Damian, none of this would've happened!

Damian: *whipping his head around* RICHARD! TELL THESE PEASANTS TO RELEASE ME AT ONCE AND TAKE THEIR HANDS OFF MY MOTHER'S SWORD-

Dick: Oh my god what happened???

Officers: Sir, are these kids yours?

Dick: what happened??

Officers: We recieve reports of two assailants attacking each other with prohibited weapons. We will be taking them into custody.

Dick: wait, wait, what? I'm sure it's a misunderstanding, there's no way, they're jsut kids-

Officers: Sir, as their legal guardian or parent, you have to come with us.

Dick: I-Jay, can you-

Dick: *turning to see Jason filming with the biggest grin on his face* Jason.

Jason: what??? You're telling me to stop filming this comedy goldmine? Roy's gonna love this so much.

Dick: Put. Down. The. Camera. And come over and help me.

Jason: Fine, fine. *muttering under his breath* hehehe I still have the spy cam to capture all of this on heheheheheeee.

-----

Dick: *Waking at at 2 am bc of a call* hello?

Tim: DICK HE STABBED ME!

Dick: what?

Tim: HE STABBED ME! DAMIAN STABBED ME!

Dick: damian? Damian stabbed you? But aren't you in New York? He's supposed to be in Gotham.

Tim: *screeching* WELL HE ISN'T ANYMORE!!!!!

Damian: *muffled* Richard he's lying! He cut himself in a kitchen knife because he thought he could cook! He's just blaming me because he wants attention!

Tim: Go away! Dick!

Damian: *mumbled* Richard!

Dick: *already dressing tiredly* yup. i'm on my way.

[slutforsilverfoxes]

This song came on my shuffle while I was cleaning so therefore I am not responsible for this heinous crack 🙃 But also, sorry in advance 💀

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gn!BAU!reader established relationship (+ a feature by two of the BAU hooligans)

__________

“We really couldn’t fly into a closer airport?” you grumble under your breath, forehead pressed against the cool window of the Tahoe as a seemingly endless expanse of cornfield flies by in a blur.

Hotch uses the rearview mirror to glance at your sour face, raising a single eyebrow in challenge. “And where, pray tell, is this closer airport you speak of? Hiding amongst the corn?”

“Hiding amongst the corn?” you mimic in a childish tone, and he grunts in response although the corner of his mouth twitches with mirth.

“It was almost better when you two were keeping things under wraps,” Derek chimes in from the passenger seat. His long legs allowed him to claim shotgun while you and Emily were relegated to the back. Dave, JJ, Garcia, and Spence were in the vehicle behind you, much to Penelope’s chagrin about being thwarted from “napping on my sturdy hunk of Derek,” as she had so eloquently put it.

“To be fair, you chose to ride with us,” Aaron comes to your defense, and you pipe up with a vindicated, “Yeah! Thanks, babe.” You lean forward to press a kiss to his cheek and he frowns at you, pulling a pouty, “What?” from you in return.

“Sit back and put your seatbelt on,” he chides gruffly, and you can hear the unspoken brat that would’ve been sure to follow if you were alone.

“Fine,” you huff in feigned annoyance, settling into your seat and clicking your seatbelt in place.

The car is silent for a few minutes save from the wind whipping past, then you lean towards the center console and ask, “Can we at least listen to music?”

Emily perks up at that, pulling her head from the case file in her lap. “Music would be good.”

“Here, Derek,” you offer, sliding your phone towards him. “It’s unlocked so you can queue songs. But if I see you swiping anywhere else, I swear to god-”

“Chill, Y/N,” he laughs out. “Ain’t no way I’m risking burning my retinas with a nude from our boss man.”

“Morgan,” your boyfriend sighs like an exasperated parent while you tease, “Only cause he’s too hot to look at.”

“Please just put some music on,” Aaron groans after your comment, and you can see the back of his neck flushed red through the gap between the seat and headrest.

“Alright, alright,” Derek finally relents, plugging in your phone and then turning to smile at you when he spots a playlist titled AH🖤. “Now that’s pretty cute,” he admits, and you return his grin with a bashful one of your own.

Then your smile morphs into a horrified gasp when his thumb hovers over the playlist, the world seeming to move in slow motion as his finger makes contact with the screen.

Corpse’s gravelly voice instructing the listener to Choke me like you hate me, but you love me blares through the speakers as you shriek in surprise. Hotch jams his palm into the volume knob, mercifully cutting off the music before the next line can assault everyone’s ears.

The car is plunged into silence once more as your face flushes under the delighted scrutiny of one Derek Morgan. Emily, to her credit, remains unfazed (mostly because she’s the recipient of your lascivious texts about Aaron).

“We’re never talking about this again,” you whisper, mortified, unwilling to meet Aaron’s gaze in the rearview mirror. You’re so paying for this when you get to the hotel tonight.

“On the contrary,” Derek counters in an almost giddy fashion, “I just figured out how we’re going to pass the time until we reach the precinct. So, Y/N, are you the choker or the chokee?”

You collapse on yourself, head in your hands as you wail, “I wanna die,” while your boyfriend quietly mumbles, “I’m resigning when we get back to Quantico.”

—————

A/N: For those of you wondering… yes, this song is on my Hotch playlist 🥵

AH tags 🖤 @gothwifehotchner @iyv-ray24 @mrs-ssa-hotch @criminalskies

[tofu-bento-box]

pov: you show up to your curse of strahd session and this is the DM’s screen

this took forever (30+ hours) so now everyone has to tell me how cool i am and show their friends. i still need to finish off the edges and add the center fold, but at least the design’s done.

process below the cut!

materials talk first. the skull is done in micron pen, with the solid areas being filled in with various black markers. the colors and large black areas are done with acrylic paint. this is all being put on a cheap trifold board. maybe it would have ripped less if it wasn’t two years old, but it worked out fine in the end

anyway i cut the cardboard for this WAY too big at the start of the project, so it was banished to the corner of my room for over a year. i don’t even have pictures of it. anyway i had to cut the thing into pieces and then tape it back together

those finished crescent moons were originally above the horns. not anymore bucko

next step: cover almost the entire thing with painter’s tape. draw the design you’ll be masking. cut away and remove half the tape (while praying the cheap trifold board doesn’t rip)

and then paint it. paint it again because you’re using cheap paints and bright colors. peel the rest of the tape off (more praying). and then paint the newly uncovered areas black. give up on doing a second coat because it’s been twenty hours already

there. not hard at all. can you feel my eye twitching through the screen

fyi if you’ve made it this far, i don’t regularly post art. you can follow me because i’m super cool and funny, but this is not an art account

[projectbluearcadia]

Happy Birthday, Lucifer! '24

NSFW Lucifer x F!MC Spice Rating - 4/4 HOLY F*CK THAT'S HOT

[ Scenario: It's Lucifer's birthday, and you've decided to give him some special stress relief as his present. ]

---

Winner, winner, girlie dinner: As of 6/5 13:15, the vote was for Lucifer to dominate the shit out of you and use you as his stress ball with 28.7% of the votes. 6% higher (roughly 17 people) than the vote to spoil him.  That being said, Lucifer may still be spoiled in a week or so because it was such a close contest for a while... --- To those who fear my masochistic tastes, I kept it relatively vanilla. Mostly. With that said, CW: Spanking (open hand); Orgasm denial; Overstimulation; Creampie; Ripping clothing(?) ---

Also, this was supposed to be gender-neutral. But I ended up making it centered towards female genitalia again because I am a whore for details. To male-identifying individuals who either do not want their muffin used for sex or only possess the fabled cucumber,

I am very sorry. > ~ <

---

Wordcount: 3972 (Don't worry; it's mostly sex.)

smutty notes (consult if you haven’t read my smut before.)

“Lucifer?” you say softly as you knock on his door frame. He’s too busy mumbling under his breath, his hair disheveled and the muscles in his left cheek twitching with annoyance. His room is a disaster area, his belongings scattered on the floor as he tromps his way across his bedroom, shoving things around in his wardrobe. “Luci? Honey, hello? What’s the matter?”

“Oh…” Lucifer finally glances at you, his face softening a little. “MC. Hi. Hello. What do you want? Don’t look at the mess.” Difficult, but okay. 

“Are you looking for something?” 

“No,” he says, a little too sharply before he stubbornly looks away. Did the poor baby lose his necklace again? Honestly… I thought I already told him not to worry about it. 

“Then why are you so worked up when Diavolo and I made sure you could take today off? You know we’re not letting you forget your birthday exists again.” You fold your arms, and Lucifer stares at his fireplace before he kneels and starts raking the ashes restlessly. 

“I’m not worked up,” he grumbles. 

“Lucifer, you’re not going to gain anything by lying to me. Come on; what’s the matter?” You crouch next to him, stopping his hand from raking, and he looks at you. “Remember, I can help you, but I can only help you out if you tell me what you’re looking for.” 

Lucifer is silent for a long, awkward several moments. Then:

“My necklace. I don’t know how, because I made sure that I always drape it on the skeleton’s hand, but I’ve looked everywhere.” Lucifer’s eyes shine. “As if it wasn’t bad enough that Diavolo has been frosty with me, my brothers have been trying to hog you all to themselves, and now I’m losing my sanity. I swear I put it on the skeleton. I always put it there, and now it’s gone.” 

You let out a low groan. Yeah. Being secretive was a mistake; this idiot would have been too absorbed in work anyway to realize we were talking about his birthday.

“Lucifer, you’re not going crazy. We can look for it later. I just want you to enjoy your birthday today, okay? That’s your only job today. Enjoy your birthday. I even have a nice surprise for you tonight. Now, how about we go downstairs and get some breakfast in you? I cut some Princess Poison Apples.” 

“...fine,” he mumbles, though it seems as if he’s still hovering in a sea of annoyance and worry as he stands and follows you into the dining room to find what you made for him, even as you dart to the corner, where you put one of his favorite cursed records into a gramophone and start it playing.

It fills up the silence left by his brothers currently taking care of his work at R.A.D. A part of you feels bad for having him share breakfast with you alone, but as the morning goes on, some of his stress seems to dissolve. You smile to yourself, arrogantly believing that he’d start to wind down by evening. 

Unfortunately, that evening, you find out that the reason Lucifer couldn’t find his necklace that morning was because Mammon nicked it. Not because he was going to pawn it; instead, he had it enchanted by a sorceress so that it would let out an alarming cry—so that was why Belphie was recording you screaming! Bitch!—when Lucifer overworked himself. It really is a thoughtful gift, which is the only reason you’re able to stop Lucifer from hanging Mammon from the ceiling. 

Lucifer calms down at your behest, but it becomes quite clear to you that he majorly bottled up his stress throughout the past few days. A part of you feels guilty, since you’ve been so busy trying to help throw this party for Lucifer that he must have felt left out. Even if he seemed like he enjoyed most of the day… 

You find yourself changing your plan for the night; you were originally going to shower him with praise and pleasure the shit out of him, but you think he needs to let off some steam. He’ll probably like it if you told him to mark you up after he spent several days feeling jealous and maybe even irritated with you.

“Use me like your stress ball.” 

“...what?” Lucifer asks, confused as he closes the door behind you, locking it, the door briefly glowing blue before returning to normal. “MC, I could never do that to you…” His words trail off as he watches you slide your shirt off, then your pants, his eyes lingering on every inch of your lingerie-clad body. “Is that part of my present tonight?” 

You saunter up to Lucifer, laying your fingers on the back of his neck, rubbing his cheek as you reply, “Part of it, yes.”

“You were wearing that… all day?” It seems as if he’s just as annoyed as he is excited by that fact as you nod your head. “Just how do you think something like that is acceptable…? You couldn’t have told me earlier? I’ve wanted to touch you all day, but I didn’t because you put so much thought and effort into celebrating with me.” 

“Oh, honey…” You kiss his cheek, only for him to snatch up your lips like a hungry wolf. He kisses you, his tongue smashing up against yours, quickly overpowering you and claiming your mouth like it’s his first time doing so. You moan as you break for air, softly panting. “Dominate the shit out of me; let out all of that stress.” 

“Are you sure you want to give me a blank check like that?” Lucifer asks softly, almost dangerously, and you get yourself close to his ear to whisper:

“It’s your birthday present, Lucifer. Do things to me that you wouldn’t normally dare ask for. I’ll tell you if I don’t want it.” 

Those words snap whatever tether is keeping him in check. 

In the next instant, he has you pinned against the wall, both your wrists in one hand and clamped high above your head. His other hand is busy feeling your body up and down as he smashes his lips back over yours, a startled grunt leaving your mouth as he does so. His fingers drag just under your skimpy underwear, teasing you sweetly with the offer of getting closer to your sensitive spots.

When he breaks from you again, your chest heaves for breath, saliva dropping from your mouth as he moves away. Dammit, not that look… have mercy, you find yourself thinking as Lucifer fucks you with his eyes, his mind undoubtedly racing with all the possibilities of all the different ways he can wreck you.

“Do you… have any idea how much it gets under my skin when I ask you for the smallest amount of time, and you refuse me?” 

“Well, I—”

“No.” he growls, pressing his index finger firmly over your swollen lips. “I already know what you’re going to say. You’re going to say it was for my surprise, but I hated it. I don’t like being ignored. I don’t like not getting what I want. You’re all mine, so why did I have to watch you go off and do things with my brothers? Things I want to do with you?” 

“We can do those—” you try to say, but Lucifer puts his gloved finger in your mouth. Then another, stroking your tongue, and the taste of leather fills your mouth. 

“We can, and we will,” he whispered darkly. “But that doesn’t mean you’re getting off the hook. I think you deserve a punishment. A punishment that will ensure you won’t do that to me again.” 

An eager moan slips out of your mouth, and Lucifer starts to gently thrust his fingers back and forth, as if giving you a taste of what he’s going to do to you later. His knee finds its way between your legs, grinding into your core. You close your eyes, grinding back, and he stops. 

“Do you think you’re allowed to cum?” Lucifer chuckles, nipping your ear, making you almost bite his fingers in surprise. “Guess again. I’m the only one who can give you permission, and you don’t have it. Now suck my fingers before I stuff your mouth full with something much less pleasant.” Like what? Like rope? Like a gag? You don’t mean your cock, do you? Lucifer, I will suck all of them, and I will fucking relish it when it puts that happy look on your face. 

“Hn..gmh…” you groan onto his fingers as you wrap your tongue around them, hollowing out your cheeks. Lucifer hums with approval, dragging his lips down your neck with open-mouthed kisses. His teeth scrape you as he starts to suck on the skin. Muffled noises, some startled and others needy, leave your throat as he attacks your sensitive spots. This was the right choice, you think as he leans away, his tongue darting out briefly over his lower lip.

He takes his saliva-coated fingers out of your mouth before he pulls closer to you, those fingers dragging up your exposed belly and leaving a wet streak across the skin. You shiver as his lips ghost over yours, not giving you the kiss you desire. 

“Lucifer,” you whisper desperately, and his lips pass over yours to place a kiss on your cheek instead. 

“That’s better,” he softly purrs, his palm smoothing back downwards, so temptingly that you shake, trying to get him to get him to touch lower, but he denies you. “But it’s not enough.” Lucifer finally releases your wrists from his hand, and you hear his own wrist crack as he rotates the joint slowly.

He takes his tie off, unbuttoning his waistcoat before he grabs you by the waist, and the next thing you know, he has you up in the air. Then he has you slung over his shoulder, one hand tightly squeezing one ass-cheek as he carries you away from the wall. 

Startled, you yelp and struggle a little as all the blood goes rushing to your head, only for Lucifer’s hand to playfully slap your buttocks.  

“Kick me again,” he softly growls, “and I won’t show mercy.” 

Mentally, you make a note to kick him again later as he walks over to his bed and roughly flops you onto it, his bedsprings making a quiet but petty complaint in response. You expect him to crawl on top of you, or at the very least sit on the bed, but he remains standing, raking his hand through his hair as a loose strand gets in his eyes. 

“Fondle yourself,” he demands, his fingers tapping impatiently on his tricep as he folds his arms. “No, MC. Don’t take it off. That’s my privilege.” His domineering figure towers over your exposed, pathetic one, and you find yourself biting your lip in anticipation as you trace your fingers over your breasts, toying shyly with your nipples over your underwear. You mewl and gasp with need, aching for his fingers instead as you drag one hand down your stomach, down into your panties. 

“Lucifer, please,” you whisper desperately as you rub and stroke yourself with a fervor that grows by the second. Watch me more. “I want you… I want you to fuck me.” 

You tilt your head back, getting so into Lucifer watching you while lewd gasps and cries pour out of your lips that you’re already starting to lose it. You can feel your insides begging you, and how can you possibly deny yourself?

Lucifer, however, is perfectly fine denying you as he snaps up the hand under your underwear, stopping you from coming undone. Bastard! Bastard! You think, feeling whiny and defeated as he scolds you. 

“I thought I told you…” he rumbles against your ear, “that you need my permission to cum.” You wriggle under him, shivering and aching for any kind of stimulation, only for Lucifer to press his weight down on you. You wheeze, patting his shoulder, and he gives you an apologetic look as he picks himself back up, kissing your forehead. “Sometimes I forget that you’re weaker than me.” He smirks at you imperiously, and you’re about to fire something back before he kisses you again. “Now… you tried to disobey me.” You feel your insides jolt as Lucifer smirks. 

“Ah!” you cry out as he flips you onto your stomach, his hands lingering on your thighs before his body leaves you cold and wanting. 

“On your hands and knees,” he orders so calmly that it sends a chill down your spine. Or maybe that was just his finger, tracing down over your vertebrae, dropping off at the tailbone. Is it going to be doggy-style today? Is he going to do what I think he’s going to do?

Just as you manage to work yourself onto your hands and knees, he spreads your thighs further apart until you’re almost unbalanced. He takes a tight hold of the crotch of your underwear. He pulls, pressure building against the front as it digs into your clit, and you almost howl. 

…RIP!

Lucifer chortles, and you can hear him covering his mouth as you gasp and mewl at the sudden loss of the fabric as it makes a barely audible wet sound against the floor. You can feel how excited his heart is even through his gloves. The gloves which disappear in a matter of seconds as hot, damp skin meets your thigh. 

“What a naughty girl,” he murmurs, and his nails graze up your thigh. Up. Up. Up. 

“Mmm…mmm…” Slurp. Your mouth falls open, startled as Lucifer’s fingers easily slip inside you. One, two, three, in quick succession. Rubbing against your soaking wet walls as your legs tremble, desperately trying to keep yourself from slumping into a frog-like position. “Hgn… Luci—AGH!” His fingers curl, hard, right before he takes them back out again and brings them in front of your face. Dripping wet, just like you. Is he going to make me lick them???

“Were you looking forward to your punishment that much?” 

“Y-Yes…” you gasp out, and Lucifer drags his hand—and your fluids—down your lips, down your neck to give your breast a tender squeeze. And, a moment after that hand leaves, a loud, fleshy slap hits your ears, taking your breath away. “Ugh!” 

“Say you’re sorry,” he growls impatiently, his breathing getting irregular as you hear him snap his buttons open. (Evidently, someone’s finally getting sweaty in all that clothing.) His hand comes down on your ass again, harder than before, and you gasp with the impact. 

“I-I’m sor—” SLAP! “—RY!” Your head drops as your arms quiver. You hear a zipper, and almost instinctively buck your hips, needy. Lucifer’s response is another hard swat in the same spot, making tears bubble up in your eyes. 

“Louder,” he rasps through his teeth. He’s going fucking feral. Let me see his face. Please let me see it!  

“I’m sorry!” you wail, and you almost scream at the next slap. 

“Good girl,” his voice shudders, and just as your strength leaves your limbs with his praise, he has you on your back again, his beautiful chest in full view as he guides his swollen cock inside you, rosy and leaking a milky white. His expression beautifully crumples as he digs his fingers into your thighs, squeezing his eyes shut with his veins sharply standing out in his neck. Restraining himself, you realize, from just slamming into you. 

Of course, that thought goes out the window as you hook your legs around his waist and shove him closer. His crimson eyes dance with his lust before he thrusts into you harder, his pace picking up until you can’t follow it anymore. 

“Ugh! Oh! Ah! More!” you chant like a bird, and Lucifer rewards you by groaning right in your fucking ear. Like the sound of his cock getting slurped at by your sopping wet entrance wasn’t dirty enough, he just had to add that into the mix. 

“You’re the perfect… ghh… fit. I’m almost getting stuck from you clenching so hard. Do you need my cock inside you that badly that you won’t let me back out?” he whispers dirtily, teasingly pulling out by an inch before hitting your favorite spot harder. 

“AGH!” you gasp out, gripping Lucifer’s upper back, and he bites your collar with a moan. 

“Just… like that.” His lips trail down to the top of your breast, his hips working at you furiously, his bed now actively whining at the force of his thrusts. 

“Lucifer!” you cry out, your orgasm winding up further and further as he grinds onto your poor clit while he fucks you.  

“Say my name again,” he scrapes out, leaving another hickey on your chest. 

“Lucifer!” you wail. “Please! I’m going to—”

“Cum, now.” he growls, and that’s all it takes to set you off, scratching his back hard as Lucifer clenches his teeth, his expression focused on his task of finding his own release. It doesn’t take him long as you babble nonsense with stars in your vision, falling apart on Lucifer’s cock. 

Sense just barely returns to you when you notice Lucifer pulled himself out and came on your stomach, some of his hot semen soaking into what was left of your lingerie. A flicker of disappointment hits you, and apparently it shows, because Lucifer asks you, panting, what’s bothering you. 

“...you didn’t have to pull out,” you mumble, feeling your face warm as Lucifer’s eyes widen, and shortly afterwards, dance with new fire. His softening member revives itself, twitching with a new excitement.

“Is that so?” he grinds out, a hint of playfulness flitting into his voice. “You want me to cum inside you?” He leans closer, his grin almost manic. “Be careful what you wish for.” 

“Why? I’m not tired yet.” 

“No,” he says, “I mean that I might breed you.” 

Fuck! 

“Try it,” you dare, and Lucifer chuckles, rubbing your cheek with his thumb.  

“That’s cute, honey, but you don’t have that kind of stamina.” 

A stunted retort leaves your mouth as Lucifer thrusts himself back inside your noisy pussy, his breath feathering like torn fabric. It’s as you shake your stiff fingers, which have been curled into his back muscles for a hot minute, that you realize one of your fingertips is wet. 

“...Lucifer, you’re bleeding.” 

“Am I now? Are you trying to chicken out on me? On my birthday?” 

“No, but—” 

Slap! The sound of Lucifer’s balls hitting your skin as he offers you a deep thrust that sends your brain spinning. 

“Since when,” 

“AH! Oh!” 

“has that ever stopped me? I can’t even feel it, so you’d better make sure you tear into my back nice and hard for round two. Understand?” As you stupidly nod your head, you’re left wondering if he had been holding out on you the first time, because he’s even more energetic like the first time was just a warm-up. 

“AGH! AHN!” you screech, and drool starts to spill out of your mouth. He’s brutally nursing your clitoris with his thumb as his length pounds into you, as if it wasn’t enough that he was already doing a great job of giving you the friction you wanted. He shifts your hips up, hitting your g-spot harder as he plows into you. His brows scrunch together with his pleasure, his pace faltering as you squeeze him harder. 

“Ugh… Fucking hell, MC,” he groans, dipping his head. 

“What?” you ask, though your voice sounds wildly distorted like someone was playing with the frequency knobs on a mixing console. 

“I need… to do this right after you orgasm a lot more often… so you don’t fall asleep on me.” 

“I don’t always…!” you protest before your voice breaks as a jolt of pleasure ripples through your lower body. Lucifer lets out a fragmented chuckle, his flushed skin seeming to ripple before your eyes from his wild pulse. 

“What was that? I couldn’t… hear you,” he mocks, hammering you harder than ever as your mind slips further and further from your grasp. “Come… on, say it louder for me… your cunt is too noisy.”

You stopped listening, because the moment he said ‘Come’, your brain fogged over, expecting that to be an order. This time, your orgasm was more laborious to work up, but it destroyed all sense of self as it washed over you in wave after wave of pure, unadulterated ecstasy. 

And Lucifer is working you through it, now openly moaning as he furiously pleasures you, stroking and circling your sensitive little bud like it's his purpose in life. 

“You know, that wasn’t permission,” he purrs, biting the shell of your ear as you just barely manage to touch base with earth again. And now you’re screaming even louder because he’s overstimulating you, beaming like a lunatic. Sadist! Bully! you cry inside your head, but it’s too good for him to stop. You’re making all kinds of pretty faces for him, after all, and you’re enjoying yourself plenty, now aren’t you? How many orgasms are you going to show him tonight, hm?

It takes you a long moment to realize he came, and holy shit your insides are full of his semen. The thought almost sends you into a wild fit of arousal by itself without the warmth of his release reminding you of the fact. 

Lucifer simpers down at you, sweat dripping down his nude body as he flips his messy hair back out of his face, his chest lightly heaving with the exertion of his actions. 

“Happy?” he asks, his crimson eyes flickering with mischief as you pant, and you almost say ‘yes’ before you remember the whole point was to give him a present. 

“It’s your birthday, silly,” you croak, and he laughs a little to himself. 

“Yes, I am very happy, MC,” he replies, kissing you slowly and sweetly. “But it’s not my birthday if you didn’t like it.” 

“Of course I liked it, but was that even enough for you???” 

“It was enough. Ignore it,” he soothes. “It’ll go down again.” 

“Lucifer…” you groan. 

“You’re exhausted, darling; rest. You can wake me up with your mouth if you really feel that strongly about it.” Lucifer flops down next to you, squishing your tired body in his arms as contentment radiates off him. Well… if nothing else, I think he’s significantly less stressed right now, so goal accomplished? 

“You’re so sweaty,” you chuckle as your face rubs against his chest, and he laughs delightfully back.

“I’ll clean you up, and then I’ll get a shower,” he promises, kissing your cheekbone before relinquishing his hold on you. It isn’t what you meant, but he’s already pulling his trousers back on and making his way—shirtless—to the main bath across the hall.

He can be such a big dumb-dumb sometimes, you think with a little smile before he comes back, a faintly steaming rag in hand. He delicately—finally—takes off your lingerie before he wipes you down, saving the splattering of his seed for last. He finishes, about to leave to take his shower, only for you to grab hold of his arm like an overly affectionate cat. 

“Cuddle,” you demand. 

“I thought I was sweaty?” 

“And I didn’t say that was a bad thing. Get back here.” Lucifer smirks.

“As you wish,” he replies as he re-joins you on the bed, getting himself comfortable. “How about a bath together tomorrow morning? I promise I’ll behave.” 

“Sounds fine to me,” you reply, kissing him, full-well knowing you wouldn’t behave yourself. “I love you, Lucifer. Happy birthday.” 

“I love you too,” he whispers as your conscious mind fades, and you slowly lose the battle to sleep, nestled in each other’s arms. 

[delta-lethonomia]

ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:

It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.

(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)

"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!

The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.

And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.

G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME

Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.

And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.

And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.

Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.

Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.

"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.

Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.

Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.

(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)

So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"

"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna

etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.

Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)

Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.

Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?

What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?

In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.

BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.

"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3

Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."

Astarion disapproves (-5)

He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)

"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3

And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!

Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.

"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3

If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.

But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!

It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.

... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?

CONCLUSION

People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.

It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.

Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao

TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol

[mixterglacia]

CONTENT WARING: Vivziepop/Stolitz Critical below the cut.

TL;DR- This episode was inconsistent to put it politely. I will not continue such niceties below the cut. You've been warned.

I'm going to start with the good. The jokes with Satan and his...therapist?? are delightful, and considering how awful this episode was, I will take it.

The bit where the rest of the imps are tormenting Stolas felt so good, but I'm aware we're meant to sympathize with poor wittle owl boi can do no wrong uwu. So that missed by a mile.

While it wasn't consistent, this episode had some stunning animation. Kudos to the team, especially those working on the shot where Stolas is lifting his cape in the song. That and the slow turns were beautiful.

Alright let's rip into this.

If the second half of this episode existed in a vacuum, it might have hit its mark. But it doesn't. This is TOTAL tonal whiplash. Completely unearned and obnoxious. Once again, we have the biggest helluverse problem:

I don't want to put in the effort to earn my drama. I am relying on the fandom to fill in the blanks so they cry.

The song is horrendously demeaning and bad. He's belittling him because he's in a place where Blitz can't fight back. You can't convince me that I should go from the tone at the start of the song to the end.

GOD i hate these two. there is nothing appealing left. They are a hollow, pathetic shell of what we were promised. this is "messy" in the way a dumpster is. This isn't some artsy spill of candy. This is trash with glitter poured all over it.

Suddenly we're getting Blitz's "truwe" feelings all dumped on us in the span of a single musical number. This is TERRIBLE. You have been so stingy with any level of development on his end that this feels like a car getting t-boned at an intersection. I guess "self indulgent" is code for "I didn't want to put in effort, i just wanted my OTP." Which is fine in a fandom sense, but this is a SHOW. You have to actually make us believe they feel like that. You have FAILED, and you're still trying to give yourself the prize? Man, you are deluded.

This was total dogshit. This was a rushed attempt to get Stolas in Blitz's house/bed. This was nothing short of MORE woobification of this dumbass owl. HE DID THIS TO HIMSELF. IF ANYTHING, THIS IS A SLAP ON THE WRIST.

He's a privileged piece of shit that is so babied by the writers that even his PUNISHMENT is nothing. So he's banished, but only for a hundred years, which is nothing to an immortal. If you're trying to bring him down to be on par with the imps, you've failed.

He's still going to get his job back in the future. He's still going to have money in the future. He's still going to have power in the future. If anything, you should have had the punishment make him be an imp for those years.

But no. You're so obsessed with him that you've centered the whole plot around HIM. Not I.M.P, not Blitz.

HIM.

This show has become so derailed at this point. Each episode is (somewhat) fine on their own, but you can't sit there and tell me they have any level of consistency. I keep thinking they're going to hit their stride, and they keep failing to do so. This is pathetic.

I'm very close to giving up on this series. Even analyzing it has become a chore. You aren't fun to watch, or make fun of. You're just mediocre.

I so desperately want these shows to have better writing. I want them to have quality and be successful at the same time. But currently we only have the latter and I fear that will wane in time if Vivienne doesn't get her head out of her ass and put in the effort I know her to be capable of. You can't keep coasting off of your pilot fans forever. I implore you to have someone work on the tone and consistency of the helluverse in the future.

Somehow Helluva makes Hotel look like high art, and that's a shame. When it was only the pilots, I truly adored Helluva. It had wonderful characters and great humor.

But here we are.

[corroded-hellfire]

i can’t stop thinking about as you wish 😩💘 what would eddie have thought of reader on their very first meeting? did he instantly start to have feelings or was it more so when he realised how much the boys liked her and how she treated eddie? my brain is rotting in the best way

big love to you xxxxxx

I am so glad you asked this because I have often thought about these two meeting! I hope you enjoy 💕

Words: 2.7k

[As You Wish masterlist]

This was it. 126 Thorn Court. The address that your sister scrawled on the paper in the indecipherable scribbling that she calls handwriting. A friend of a friend needed a steady babysitter, so your sister sent it through the grapevine the other way that her little sister has always been great with kids. 

You hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information from your sister, who in turn said she hadn’t gotten much from her friend either. All you knew was the address that was held in your hand, the name that was written beneath it—Brittany Munson—and that the kids were two boys, four and six years old. The whole time leading up to this moment you hadn’t been nervous, but sitting here parked in front of the house in your used gold car, the job interview nerves are kicking in. 

Taking a deep breath, you push the car door open and climb out. As you make your way up to the front door, a strange wave of nerves comes over you. It’s almost a pleasant tingle, like first date nerves, making you let out a confused chuckle. Smoothing your hands down your body, you take one last look down at your outfit of a flowy black skirt and a white t-shirt tucked into it. Assessing that it looks fine, you raise your hand and knock on the blue door. The faint sound of little feet running around meets your ears before a heavier gate approaches the door. When it swings open, you’re not prepared for the sight before you.

A man who can only be described as beautiful stands there, dark curls cascading down to his shoulders, and the prettiest brown eyes you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s tall with a thin frame. Skinny, but toned muscles peeking from underneath his Metallica tee. Had you been asked before what your type was, you wouldn’t have had an answer; your crushes had always been on varied types of guys. But suddenly, you’re realizing this man is exactly your type. Who could possibly be more attractive than him?

You’re so busy taking him in that you don’t realize that he’s doing the same to you. It could’ve been five seconds or five hours, when a little boy comes running over and attaches himself to the man’s leg. This breaks the both of you out of your trance, though neither of you realized the other was in one too. 

“Hi,” the man says, his pretty pink lips curving into a smile. A smile that nearly knocks the breath from you.

“Hi. I’m um, I’m here for…” you start, but are cut off by the little boy.

“You’re pretty!”

“Oh,” you say with a chuckle. “Well, thank you. You’re a handsome little boy, yourself.” He grins proudly, looking from you to his dad. 

“Babysitter, yeah?” the man asks. 

“Yes! That’s me.” You hold your hand out and introduce yourself. His hand slides into yours, rough calluses brushing against your soft skin. The warmth of his hand envelops yours and you’re pretty sure an electric spark travels up your arm at the contact. 

“I’m Eddie. This is Luke.” Eddie, your brain repeats.

“Hi!” Luke says, grinning up at you. 

“Hi,” you say, giving him a smile in return.

“Go get your brother, please,” Eddie tells his son. Luke nods and runs off somewhere in the house. “Please, come in. We’re really glad you could come by and meet us and the kids.” 

“Oh, of course,” you say, stepping inside the house. Eddie closes the door behind you, and you take the opportunity to look around. Directly to your right is the living room of the one-story house. The couch and loveseat look plush and comfy, both facing a dark wood entertainment center that holds a television. The walls are deep navy blue with a few paintings and photo frames scattered along the surfaces. Eddie steps up beside you and you’re once again struck by his beauty.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says, gesturing towards the couch. “I’ll just go get my wife and we’ll be right back.”

Ugh. Right. He had a wife. And they have kids. That’s why you’re here, after all. But it doesn’t stop you from watching Eddie’s ass as he heads down the hallway. Stop it, you try and scold yourself. This man might be your new boss. He’s probably happily married and content with his life. He doesn’t need some teenager—even if you’d only be one for two more weeks—coming in and fawning all over him. 

As you take a seat on the couch, Luke comes running into the room, a smile identical to his father’s plastered on his lips. In fact, Luke is pretty much a shrunken version of Eddie. Except for the eyes, you notice. Luke has bright blue eyes that he must get from his mother. Another boy follows in behind Luke, a little taller and with hair a few shades lighter brown than his little brother’s. He has the same warm brown eyes as his father, but his hair only has a slight curl. 

“This is Ryan,” Luke says, poking his brother in the arm. “He’s shy sometimes.”

“That’s okay,” you tell Ryan. “I can be shy sometimes, too. Especially when I meet someone new.” 

“Told you she was pretty,” Luke says to his brother, making you giggle.

A beautiful blonde woman walks into the room, Eddie right behind her. The first thought as your eyes land on her is that she could be an actress with how pretty she is. Her heart shaped face is accentuated by long blonde hair that has a bit of a wave to it. Luke’s blue eyes are identical to hers, the mother’s framed by dark lashes and immaculate makeup. She’s a good number of inches shorter than Eddie, with a small frame and curves that any woman would kill for. Watching her as she takes a seat on the loveseat, you subconsciously start to fidget in your seat, fingers tugging on the hem of your skirt. 

“So,” the woman says, crossing one leg over the other. Her gaze settles on you and it’s eerily absent of any warmth. Eddie sits next to her, perched on the edge of his seat. He rests his elbows on his knees as he leans forward, hands clasped together. “You’re a babysitter?” the wife asks.

“Um,” Eddie says before you can say anything. “This is Brittany, my wife.” She flashes you a tight lipped, strained smile and you introduce yourself.

“And uh, yes, I’m a babysitter. I’ve been watching kids since I was fourteen,” you say.

“Which was what, two years ago?” Brittany asks, tilting her head. You can tell it wasn’t meant to be mean, it just seems to be the way she speaks. 

“No,” you say, shifting in your seat. “I’ll be twenty in a couple of weeks.”

“Are you in school?” Eddie asks, a friendly smile on his face.

“I am,” you say. 

“What’re you studying?” he asks.

“Undeclared,” you say, wrinkling up your nose. “Just doing general courses still because I can’t decide what I want to major in.”

“Well, we’ll need you Monday through Friday after school,” Brittany says, jarring both you and Eddie out of the conversation you were having.

“O-Okay,” you say, nodding your head. “All my classes are early, so that’s not a problem.”

“Would you be okay with picking them up from school?” Eddie asks, leaning back on the couch. Ryan walks over and climbs in his father’s lap. Eddie grins and tugs the little boy closer to his chest, letting him get comfortable. 

“Of course,” you answer. 

“I go to preschool,” Luke tells you, proudly. He plops himself down on the couch next to you, his little legs swinging over the ledge. 

“Luke, hush, the adults are talking,” Brittany says. Luke’s face falls and he slinks down in his seat. No wonder Ryan hasn’t opened his mouth, you think to yourself. 

Brittany continues to ask you questions, Eddie popping in every now and then to ask some himself. It’s nothing you didn’t expect–you would be thorough with someone who would potentially be spending so much time with your children as well. Though, there are a few questions from Brittany that have you wondering what they have to do with the job. Do you have a boyfriend? How often do you drink? Are you a sorority girl? You notice Eddie seems to be a little perplexed by the questions as well, confusion furrowing his brow every once in a while. 

“Well,” Brittany says, slapping her palms down on her thighs. “We’re in a bind and you seem competent. Can you start on Monday?” 

“Yeah, I can.” Her abruptness is a little alerting, but you’re keying into that this is just the way she is.

“Do you want to spend some time with the boys first?” Eddie asks, shifting Ryan in his lap.

“I would love to,” you say. “Is it okay if I play a game with you, Ryan?”

The little boy peeks up at his dad who gives him an encouraging nod. He slowly slides out of Eddie’s lap and begins to fidget with his fingers.

“What’s your favorite game?” you ask. 

“Trouble,” Ryan says, voice quiet. 

“Yeah? That’s one of my favorites too. Do you like that game too, Luke?” You turn to the younger boy to be met with a bright smile.

“Yes!”

“Perfect! Should we go play?”

“Yeah,” Luke stands up and takes your hand. “I’ll show you where it is.”

He leads you down the hall to a closet that’s situated between two bedrooms; the kids’ rooms, you assume. Luke is hardly able to reach the doorknob, never mind the game that’s on one of the top shelves. You grab the box, pulling it down, and once you turn around you see that Ryan has followed you down the hallway as well.

“Where should we play, Ryan?” you ask him. 

“The kitchen table?” Ryan asks, voice still soft.

“That sounds good to me.”

“Kitchen is this way!” Luke calls, running down the hall. Ryan walks with you as you follow the four-year-old. Luke’s already sitting at the green kitchen table, ready and raring to go, when you step into the room. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Eddie asks, coming into the kitchen behind you.

“Oh no, I’m okay, thanks,” you reply. 

Brittany comes into the kitchen and Luke looks between the two of his parents.

“Daddy! Mom! D’ya wanna play?” Luke asks. 

“Can’t, baby. I’m busy,” Brittany says. She grabs a bottle of water and shuffles out of the kitchen. Luke juts out his lower lip and turns to his father.

“Sure,” Eddie says, smile lighting up his face. Luke instantly mirrors him, a gleeful look about him as he begins to take pieces out of the game box.

You sit across the table from Eddie, in between the two boys. It’s decided you’ll be the red pieces as Luke explains the rules of the game—which you already know, but let him discuss anyway. 

Ryan goes first, and the game play begins around the table. Despite him being the most excited, Luke seems to have the worst luck as he can’t get his pieces free from home. He becomes more and more frustrated as the game goes on, eventually thick angry tears tumble out of his eyes. 

“Hey,” you say with a frown. “What’s going on?”

Luke rubs at his eye, nodding at the game board. “Can’t move.”                                                                                                                

“Aw, Luke. It can be super frustrating when things aren’t going our way, I know. Do you want to take a quick break so you can calm down? We won’t skip your turn.” Luke nods, his curls bobbing up and down with his head. “Sometimes it helps if I wash my face and take a few deep breaths. But not at the same time or you’ll get water up your nose!”

Luke giggles and a smile curls on your lips. 

“M’kay,” Luke says as he slides out of his chair. When you face forward again in your seat, Eddie’s looking at you with a small smile playing over his handsome features. 

“W-Was that okay?” you ask, suddenly nervous you overstepped in some way.

“That was great,” Eddie says with a chuckle. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a potential tantrum thwarted off so quickly.”

His praise makes you blush, ducking your head down shyly. A look at the game board has you remembering that Ryan is winning—and sitting right next to you.

“And you, little mister,” you say, grinning over at the boy. “How’d you get so good at this game? They teach you this in school?”

Ryan’s smile warms your heart, feeling like you’re finally breaking through to him. 

“Noooo,” he says. “I’m just good at it.”

“Yes, you are!”

“Ryan’s my little hard worker,” Eddie says, moving some hair out of his son’s eyes. “He puts his mind to something, and he does it better than anyone.”

“I believe that,” you say. 

Luke jogs back into the room, hopping back on his chair.

“Feeling better?” you ask, and he gives you two thumbs up. 

Ryan ends up winning the game, but Luke comes in second, beating you and Eddie. It may have been because the two of you let him, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. By the time you’re getting ready to leave, Ryan is talking up a storm, telling you about his teacher and his friends and every little thing his mind can think of. 

“Can I give you a hug?” Ryan asks when it’s time for you to go. You try to blame the sudden pressure of tears behind your eyes on hormones, but you’re pretty sure it’s not even that time of month. 

“Of course,” you say, bending down. Ryan throws his arms around your neck, and you squeeze him in return. Luke is right behind him, wanting his own chance to give you a hug goodbye. “I’ll see you guys on Monday, okay?” 

“I’ll walk you to the door,” Eddie offers. You hadn’t seen Brittany since she left the kitchen earlier—and that’s fine by you. She’s clearly your least favorite person in the family. Eddie had written down all the information you’d need and given it to you, so you were officially ready for your first day on Monday. 

“They’re really great kids,” you tell Eddie.

“Thanks,” he says and the proud look in his eyes has you practically swooning. It really isn’t fair how attractive this man is. How attractive your boss is, you realize. “Is there anything else you need before Monday?”

You shake your head as Eddie reaches for the doorknob. “Don’t think so.”

“Well, if you think of anything, you’ve got my number,” Eddie says, gesturing to the piece of paper in your hand. He has yours as well, stuck on the fridge with a magnet. 

“I guess I’ll see you on Monday,” you say.

“Yeah.” Eddie slips his hands into his pockets as he leans against the open door. “You know, I’m really glad we found you. We needed a babysitter, and I was kinda resigned to having to settle for someone. But you seem perfect. F-For the job.”

Cheeks warming, you give him a bashful smile. “Thank you,” you say.

“I should be thanking you. I have to admit I’ll have more peace of mind knowing you’re watching the boys.”

“I promise you they’re in good hands,” you say, reluctantly turning for the door. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Munson.” 

Eddie’s silently glad that you’ve turned away at that moment, so you don’t catch the hitch in his breath. There’s no way he can deal with you calling him that all the time.

“Call me Eddie,” he says, forcing his tone to be casual. 

“Okay. See you on Monday, Eddie.”

“See you Monday, sweetheart.”

Keeping your composure until you get into your car is harder than it should be. But once you’re buckled in and you see that Eddie had closed the front door behind you, you let out a squeal and throw your head back against the headrest. 

“Holy shit,” you say to yourself. “He called me sweetheart. This man is going to be the death of me.”

[oneforthemunny]

certified lover boy |modern!eddie munson x reader|

prompt: max tells eddie he's a simp for you, and maybe he is. no, he most definitely is.

contains: language, mentions of drugs, modern!eddie and reader, mentions to mature themes 18+

"Baby, you just tell me what you want, and I'll pick it up, alright?" Eddie cooed into the screen of his phone, eyes flicking from you back to the road. One hand gripped the iPhone, the other held the wheel of the mustang, cruising down the backroads of Hawkins.

Max snarled her nose in disgust, eyes cutting over to Eddie. "Ok. I think I want pizza. Do you want me to order it and get it delivered?" Your voice carried through the car's speakers, the shuffling of whatever task you were doing in the background.

"If that's what you want to do." Eddie replied sweetly. "Or we can go out."

"I don't think I want to go out." You sighed. "I'll order it. I think I just want pizza and maybe to smoke a teeny tiny blunt. Is that ok?"

Eddie snorted. "That's fine with me. I have some papers with me."

"Will you roll it for me?" You asked sweetly. The sweetest Max had ever heard you speak. She wondered if you knew she was in the car.

"I always do, baby." Eddie purred lowly back at you, giving you a dazzling, dimpled smile. Max gagged silently, dramatically over Eddie's shoulder but he ignored her. "I gotta drop Red off, and then I'll be over."

"Ok," You hummed. "You want your usual?"

"Please?" Eddie grinned. "I'll Venmo you for it."

"I got it, Ed." You snorted lightly. "My treat. You just bring the weed."

Eddie rolled his eyes playfully. "Ok, I'll see you soon. Bye, baby."

"Bye." You chirped.

Eddie's eyes flicked towards the screen. "Love you." He added.

You smiled through the screen. "Love you." You replied before the call ended.

Eddie pocketed his phone, Max's face disgusted, nose twisted up in repulsion. "You're down bad, Munson." She scoffed, shaking her head.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "What?" He shrugged, she gave him a pointed look. "Oh, I'm down bad because I'm in love?"

"Ew!"

"What?" Eddie threw his hand out.

Max shook her head. "You're just... I don't know, it's gross." She shuddered. "You're all simpy for her."

"Simpy?" Eddie gawked.

"Yeah, you're a total fucking simp. It's gross." Max laughed.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I am not a simp." He grumbled, defensive and a little huffy. He felt his phone ding in the center console, your name popping up followed by a string of emojis.

Max gave him a pointed look. "Really?" She asked sarcastically. "Really you're not?"

"Shut up." Eddie huffed, turning his phone over so she couldn't see the screen anymore. "Y'know, make fun of me all you want, but one day you're gonna be in love too-"

"-Oh, God, Eddie, please stop. 'M gonna be sick-"

"-I see the way you look at Sinclair. You think he won't make a move on you one day and you won't be the same way?" Eddie challenged.

Max blushed deep, the red on her cheeks nearly matching her hair. "Shut up. Me and Lucas are just friends you freak." She huffed.

Eddie snorted. "Right." He looked over at her playfully.

Max's eyes narrowed at him, blistering glare that Eddie just rolled his eyes at, he was used to it. "Whatever," She huffed, when Eddie pulled into the gravel drive of her trailer. "I'll never be a simp like you Munson." She declared smugly, reaching for the door handle.

"Right, you keep telling yourself that." Eddie snorted. "You just worry about selling that shit, you got me? We gotta settle up with Rick this Saturday."

"I got it." Max rolled her eyes, patting her backpack full of weed. "I'll have it sold by tomorrow. Going to a party tomorrow."

Eddie nodded. "You need a ride?"

"No," Max blushed, pausing for a moment. "Lucas is taking me."

Eddie barked out a laugh, clapping his hands together. "Oh really? Lover boy's gonna take you?"

Max huffed. "Shut up. We're just friends." She slammed the door to his Mustang. Eddie rolled down the window. "You go enjoy your pizza."

"Oh, I will." Eddie grinned, pushing the gear stick back.

"You're getting weak in the knees, Munson!" Max called from the steps. "Stand up, you fuckin' simp!"

Eddie laughed, shaking his head before pulling out of the driveway. If only she knew, Eddie grinned to himself, looking down at his phone. His heart rate picked up at your little message, 'on it's way. see you soon drive safe :)' so minimal- it had no business making his head spin the way it did, foot pressing further on the gas.

Probably for the best Max didn't know how in deep he was with you, she'd tease him relentlessly if she did. But how could he not be? You were perfect, Eddie was sure of it.

The way you always smiled so wide when you saw him, even when you had a bad day, your eyes lit up, grin crinkling up to your eyes. You’d hug him tight, muttering a quiet, “Hi, baby,” that always left him floating.

He’d bury his face in your neck, inhaling your scent deep. Your skin, your perfume- fuck, you smelled so good, intoxicating to him. He’d secretly spray your perfume, the pink, slender bottle on your nightstand, all over his clothes before he’d leave, pressing his nose to his collar when he wanted a whiff of you. Carrying you with him through the sweet scent of your perfume.

Or the way you’d hold his hand when you two would walk through the mall, lazily bumping hips while he carried the bags- he always insisted on carrying the bags. You’d drag him into Sephora or Aerie, and he’d just stand there with the basket, letting you pile it up and not complaining once.

He loved it the most when you’d go try things on. When he got to see you come out, spinning around and examining your body in the clothes. He had an excuse to gawk at you openly. You’d get frustrated when he’d tell you that you should get everything you tried on, that you looked good in anything you tried on.

He like it when you’d stop and smell candles, holding the open jar out towards him, giggling when he’d wrinkle his nose in displeasure at the scent. “No?” You’d raise your brows playfully, he’d shake his head.

He‘d get positively smitten when you’d sit at the Hideout with him, recording and snapping pictures on your phone of him and the boys to post later. Filming TikToks and hoping they’d go viral. One did, once, they’d gained some traction off of it and he was so thankful for you. Smiling proudly when you reported the video’s growth, and it spreading even wider across your face when the boys cheered you on for it.

He loved how funny you were, even when you didn’t mean to be. Pulling faces that left him shaking with laughter, or snarky comments that he couldn’t help but grin at. You were mean when you wanted to be, a little hedgehog with a prickly exterior and a soft underbelly. You were protective of him, he knew that. Saw it when you’d snap and sneer at the waitress who got too flirty, eyes daggers that scared her off. Just as venomous, if not worse, when some guy flirted with you at a party. Sending him retreating with his tail tucked between his legs, your hand on Eddie’s leg or wrapped around him, touching him somehow to show your claim. You usually would kiss him deep, trailing down his neck and sucking a deep bruise into the porcelain skin of his neck. It was more PDA than you usually would give, but with him, you didn’t care- it drove him wild in the best way.

He was glad Max or anyone else wasn’t around to see how soft he got around you. Especially in the intimacy of your relationship, when the two of you were alone. He’d lay on top of you, head in your chest, smothering himself into your breasts while you played with his hair. Twisting and twirling the ringlets around your finger, pressing kisses to his head while he laid there, letting himself be babied by you. He never expected you to be so caring and sweet like that, it had taken a while for that side to come through, but once you showed him a tiny shred of it, he was hooked for life.

Eddie liked how sweet you were then, but nothing compared to how sweet you were to him when he was between your legs, lapping at your cunt like it was his lifeline. Like his only purpose in life was to please you, and he was convinced it was. Your voice would lilt, nasally and high- nearing a whine. You’d sing his praises, back arched and writing while he devoured you. You were so sweet, tasted so sweet, sounded so sweet. To hell with what anyone else thought about you, Eddie knew you were sweet, his sweet girl.

And you knew him too, the Eddie that the world didn’t see- or he tried not to let see. The sweet, dedicated, lovestruck boy who bended to your whim. Who would do anything and everything for you, did everything for you. Eddie Munson, the simp- no, the certified lover boy. Your certified sweet lover boy.

[bio1]

Here a treat for Halloween, my complete fanfic in one post. Hope you enjoy this Earthspark horror themed story and thanks to @billy-jay-kisses-robots for co-writing and spell checking.

Let use begin

Act 1

Despite how close to midnight it was, the sound of footsteps could still be heard throughout the dugout. A combination of caffeine and late night movie watching was keeping Twitch Malto wide awake, while the rest of her terran siblings dozed off peacefully. In her defense, if Robbie didn’t want her drinking his energy drinks, he should have kept them hidden better. And the password to her father’s Netflix account should have been more secure than ‘bumblebee123’.

Though the entirety of the terrans had all stayed up to binge as many horror movies as they could think of (with the exception of Jawbreaker, who had his eyes closed the entire time out of fear), only Twitch was still awake. As she paced nervously up and down the dugout, she looked over her sleeping siblings one by one. Thrash was in his alt mode, somehow completely upside down. His engine was repeatedly reving up and stalling in a cycle, as if he was snoring. Jawbreaker was laying facedown on the floor, a comically small teddy bear perched carefully on top of his head. Hashtag, who had tried staying up later herself by watching youtube, had eventually fallen asleep as well, her phone autoplaying what sounded like Russian dashcam crash footage. And Nightshade… Hm, actually, she didn’t see Nightshade anywhere. Not that she was really paying attention, however. Her mind was too busy replaying everything she had seen earlier in the night over and over.

The kids had essentially gone to the horror section on Netflix and watched as many movies as they could before they got tired. From goofier horror comedies like "Critters" to things genuinely terrifying thrillers like "Halloween", and some striking and odd balance of the two like "Scream". What really got to her, however, was John Carpenter's "The Thing", and not just because of what happened to those poor sled dogs. That awful, morphing monster, the way it ripped the research team apart, really stuck with her. Possibly because it reminded her of a few of Mandroid’s own creations she had to fight before, especially that bear mutant from mother’s day.

She was so caught up in her own head that she didn’t even notice Fluffy Ears right in front of her. Twitch ended up tripping right over the family’s pet cow, who decided it would be a good idea to sleep in the middle of the dugout’s hallway. She managed to catch herself mid fall by switching into her alt mode just before hitting the ground. The sleepy calf roused her head, looked at the little red drone hovering directly in front of her, gave her a quick lick, and fell back asleep. The whole ordeal was quiet enough not to wake anyone else, but it did catch the attention of Nightshade, who poked their head out from around a corner near their lab.

“Oh, Twitch, I didn’t know you were still up.” They smiled. “Is everything alright? You look nervous.”

“How can you tell that if I’m in my alt mode?”

“Well, you’re shaking. Pretty violently.”

She hadn’t even realized that, but they were right. She even accidentally bumped into Fluffy Ears pretty hard. Startled, Twitch switched back into her normal mode and tried profusely apologizing to the calf. Fluffy Ears didn’t seem to mind, and got up from her spot to start aimlessly wandering around the dugout.

“I’m, uh, I’m fine, Nightshade. What are you doing over there, anyway?” Twitch attempted to change the subject, making her way over to Nightshade’s lab. At the very least, this might be a fun distraction. Nightshade’s bright green optics lit up at this, clearly excited to show someone their work.

"I am so glad you asked." They tugged on their sibling's arm and pulled them into their lab. On a table in the center was a large, ominous looking metal contraption.

"Wait, isn't that-" Twitch began, before getting cut off.

"The reverse beartrap from Saw, yes!" Nightshade beamed, proudly holding it up. "The movies we watched tonight weren't particularly the type I enjoy, but I did appreciate some of the creative inventions a few of them displayed." They looked over to see Twitch with a completely horrified expression on her face. "Oh, are you wondering if it works? I am too. This is just a prototype I whipped up based on how it was explained in the film. I was actually just about to test it-" They reached under the table and pulled out a full pumpkin. Nightshade extended their arms and eagerly gestured for Twitch to take the gourd. "Since you're up, would you like to do the honors?"

"... Actually, I was wondering why you built a torture device in the first place." She finally responded, nervously looking it over. "I mean, you've built some crazy stuff in the past, but this is, uh, kind of disturbing, Nightshade."

Nightshade looked somewhat disappointed at this, shaking their head a bit. "You've got the wrong idea! A torture device implies that the victim is meant to survive."

Nightshade set the trap down and activated it themselves. Within seconds, it ripped the pumpkin open, its guts splattering messily onto the floor.

"A person wouldn't have survived that." They added, clearly happy the machine worked as intended.

Twitch flinched and stood back, her eyes growing to the size of dinner plates.

"Twitch?" Nightshade asked, concerned. "What is-oh. I get it. Don't worry, it was never my intention to use this on any living being. I just like challenging myself, and building this seemed like it would be an interesting experiment." They began scooping the guts off the concrete floor. "The thought of this device ever being used for its original purpose… that's something I wouldn't even have wished for on Mandroid." They muse. Noticing their sister was still silent, Nightshade approached her, a worried look forming on their features.

"Are you sure you're alright? You didn't think I was really going to-" Twitch interrupted them.

"No! Oh, no, I know you wouldn't, Shady. I'm just kind of on edge tonight, I guess. Probably shouldn't have stolen Robbie's energy drinks." She attempted to brush off their concern as convincingly as she could.

"You probably shouldn't have! Caffeine can worsen the hyperactive aspects of ADHD after all." They agreed, patting her on the shoulder.

"...You think I have ADHD?"

Before Nightshade could respond, a massive crunch boomed out from above them.

"What was that!?" Twitch flew out in search of the cacophony. Nightshade, trying their best to keep up with her, tiptoed as softly as they could to prevent waking the others. They found Twitch looking through the camera screens in the main room of the dugout. There was nothing unusual on live feed, just a few autumn leaves blowing past the cameras Nightshade has placed around the ranch.

"Should we-" Nightshade began, getting cut off again.

"Check it out? Yes, obviously!" She seemed a little too excited to see what was out there. Perhaps she was just looking for an excuse to feel useful, or burn off some of her energy.

Without a second of hesitation, she switched to her alt mode and flew outside, wildly darting around the sky above the dugout. Twitch changed back into bot mode as she landed on the barn's roof. With the moonlight nearly hidden behind a thick layer of clouds, it was almost pitch black outside. Nightshade caught up with their energetic sister, surprised to see her standing still as a statue.

"Twitch! There is nothing out here but the nocturnal wildlife. Perhaps it was a raccoon who made that sound." Nightshade reasoned.

Twitch responded in a shaky tone. "Nightshade, what kind of raccoon could make a noise that loud?"

"...One with rabies?"

"Wait! Listen for a moment." She hushed, falling silent again.

Nightshade listened for something out there to satisfy their sister's paranoia. "I hear nothing Twitch."

"Exactly, Nightshade! There's nothing! No crickets chirping, none of the cows are making any sound, there aren't even moths near the lights!" She exclaimed frantically.

"Oh goodness, you're right. Now that is odd. The only time it's ever perfectly quiet outside is when there is something…dangerous around."

Nightshade glared in front of them, attempting to make out the source of the eerie calmness.

"That tree… wasn't there before." They noted, their voice shaky as they pointed ahead.

Twitch turned to see what her sibling was referring to. In the middle of the forest, several hundred meters away from the barn, a massively tall, crooked tree stood high above the rest. It only had three twisted branches, growing out of its spindly stalk in such a way to vaguely resemble a humanoid figure with bending limbs. One branch in the middle rounded out at the end to form the "head" of this horrific plant.

"Ok, so that certainly wasn't a raccoon then." Nightshade commented. Their sister began switching into her alt mode, before the younger green bot grabbed hold of her. "Twitch, wait! Going out to investigate… whatever that is right away probably isn't a good idea. We should at least think this through first."

Twitch struggled in their grip for a second before shaking herself off, but didn't immediately fly out like she wanted to. "What's the hold up? You seriously want to just head in and call it a night?" She snapped at them.

"No, of course not. I just think we shouldn't do it alone." They added, remaining calm.

"And give that tree-thing a chance to move in first? I don't think so." Twitch shifted and took off into the sky. Reluctantly, Nightshade changed into their alt mode as well, flying directly in front of her to block her path.

"Twitch! What's gotten into you?" They asked frantically. Thankfully for them, Twitch did stop in her tracks. "You clearly aren't doing well tonight. Whatever's got you troubled, I'm here for you, and so is the rest of the family."

"We obviously have bigger issues than my anxiety to deal with right now!" She shouted. "Things like… that are just more proof I haven't been doing enough to keep us safe."

"Is that what this is about? Twitch, this isn't your fault-" she cut them off.

"Well it'll be both of our faults if that tree monster gets its dirty roots on the others because we were busy screwing around here!"

Nightshade wasn't sure how to respond. Twitch’s panicked tone and expression made it clear how stressed and out of it she was. But how were they supposed to comfort her? This entire situation was making it hard for even them to think, especially with that giant tree staring at them-

Wait, the tree was staring at them?

Nightshade slowly turned their head to get a better look, and to their horror, the tall head of the ominous tree had sprouted a pair of huge, glowing eyes.

“We need to go back inside, now!” They grabbed Twitch's arm with their talons, dragging their sister behind them. Almost involuntarily, the younger mech let out an owlish screech as they dived back into the dugout from the entrance in the barn's roof.

Switching back into their alt mode, Nightshade rushed over to the console displaying the security cameras’ feeds. They displayed nothing but static, oddly enough. Nightshade, frustrated and confused, frantically tried fixing the console, but nothing seemed to be working.

After a few moments, Twitch quietly approached her sibling, meekly tapping them on the shoulder. “Shady, I need to tell you something…”

“I'm not mad at you, Twitch. Just, I need to focus right now-”

“That's not what an owl sounds like.” She continued.

Nightshade stopped what they were working on and turned to face her. “...I'm sorry?”

“I've been meaning to say this ever since you got your alt mode, but that owl screech you do isn't actually what owls sound like. The noise you make is more like an eagle or a hawk.”

Nightshade just sort of stared at her, not sure what to say.

“Oh.” Was all they could think of as a response.

“Wait, why would you bring that up now?”

“I'm sorry! I'm scared! I can't even really think straight, it feels like my brain is shutting down…” She grabbed onto her head and shook it, as if trying to forcefully wake herself up.

Nightshade tried to go back to fixing the camera system, but found that their own mind felt somewhat fuzzy as well. They've repaired similar errors on this exact console plenty of times before. Yet for some reason, the solution just wasn't coming to them now.

“It had eyes, didn't it? That's what those were, in the tree, I mean. Huge eyes.” Twitch finally spoke, her usually energetic voice noticeably slowed. “Do you think… that was something Ghost made?”

“I can't imagine what use they would have with a giant, monstrous tree.” Nightshade answered, putting down the wires they were fiddling with. “We should alert the others.”

“...Right.” their sister responded. She glided over to the nearest Malto sibling, that being Hashtag. The large purple bot was still peacefully dozing off with her phone now playing, of all things, Wendigoon’s conspiracy theory iceberg. As if this whole situation wasn't ominous enough.

Twitch gently nudged the larger Terran’s shoulder. “Hashtag? Get up, something happened.”

No response. She was completely out of it.

“H-hashtag?” Twitch shook her sister a little more forcefully now.

She still didn't stir.

“HASHTAG! WAKE UP!” Twitch yelled as loudly as possible, but this didn't do much besides startle the already well-awake Nightshade.

The smaller red bot, frustrated at this point, switched into her alt mode and fired a laser several inches from her sleeping sister. This also accomplished nothing.

“Twitch! What on earth are you doing?” Nightshade called out frantically.

“I wasn't going to hit her! I… I couldn't think of anything else, I thought that would work.” She admitted, her voice shaky.

Twitch flew over to Thrash and Jawbreaker, shouting their names and firing controlled lasers inches from their bodies in a reckless attempt to wake them. The brothers were similarly out cold, however, and nothing she did had any effect on them.

“You need to stop that! If you miss and hit them…” Nightshade began, stopping themselves off as they watched the red drone revert to her bot mode, a defeated and exhausted expression washing over her face. Her large yellow optics seemed to almost wobble in place, a streaking, cold light emanating from them. Nightshade got the impression that if Cybertronians were physically capable of shedding tears, she'd be sobbing right now.

“What's going on, Shady?” She barely managed to speak, nearly choking on every word.

Seeing their usually cheerful, energic sister in such a miserable state was utterly heartbreaking for Nightshade. It wasn't her fault, but Twitch seemed to truly believe whatever misfortune her family had fallen upon somehow could have been prevented by her.

Nightshade, not being the best at emotional support, tried to go for a more practical way of comforting her. “They… they aren't dead.” The younger Terran informed her. Walking over to Jawbreaker, Nightshade gently pried his eyelids apart to reveal intact, glowing optics. They weren't responding to any stimuli, but the fact that they were on was proof that the bots were in some kind of comatose state.

“How did you…” Twitch started speaking, but seemingly lost the strength to continue partway through her question.

“How did I know?” Nightshade presumptively finished for her. “I've installed vital trackers in all of us. If any of us were to go offline, I would get an alert.” They informed her.

“Oh, that's good. Thank you.” She seemed a little relieved, before realizing the full consequences of what her sibling just admitted. “Wait, I don't remember… when did you install those?”

“That's not really something we need to worry about now…” Nightshade mumbled, not expecting her to question their actions.

“...Nightshade, how many… things have you added to us?” She lowered her gaze a bit, inquisitively. Before questioning them further, her optics lit up, having remembered something.

“I just realized, we never saw Fluffy Ears!” She blurted out frantically. Twitch began zooming around the dugout in her alt mode, looking for the baby cow.

Nightshade gave a sigh of relief that her line of questioning was over for now, and joined her in the search.

“Where was she last?” They called out, looking around their lab while Twitch scanned the dugout’s hall.

“I… I don't know, she just sort of wandered off-Oh!” Twitch flew over to a far corner of the room.

“I found her! What are you doing over here, silly cow…” Twitch nudged the calf, who seemed to be fast asleep, resting her head on her flank. Fluffy Ears didn't stir, however.

“...Fluffy Ears?” Twitch was significantly more worried as she spoke this time, her voice getting louder. The calf didn't respond.

Nightshade looked over their sister's shoulders, noting that, thankfully, the little cow was still breathing.

“That's odd, very odd… whatever happened to our siblings seems to be affecting her as well.” Nightshade leaned down and gently stroked Fluffy Ears head, mostly in an attempt to steady themselves down. This entire situation wasn't making any sense, and that scared them. They needed to remain calm, however, if only to reassure Twitch.

The smaller bot looked to her sibling for answers.

“...Do you think it's gotten to everyone in the house?”

“Are you referring to whatever has put everyone here to sleep?” Nightshade attempted to clarify.

“Yeah, I mean, if it got to Fluffy Ears… Mom, Dad, Robbie, and Mo are also organic.”

“That's a good point, actually.” Nightshade pondered. They didn't even think of that. “Are we dealing with some kind of virus that affects both organics and bots? Does such a thing even exist?”

“Forget virus, it's obviously coming from that messed up tree outside.”

“The tree? That can't be right. How could it even…” Nightshade was at a complete loss.

“Seriously, Nightshade? This thing shows up, and suddenly, all of our family is out cold. That can't be a coincidence.” She was exasperated.

“I agree it's strange, but there shouldn't be any way a plant could incapacitate both organics and Cybertronians by just… I don't even know…” Their head was starting to throb, like a migraine. Trying to think critically was physically hurting them.

The two siblings just stood there, feeling their own bodies growing weaker with every passing second. It was a sensation similar to being sedated. A feeling they probably would have given into, had Twitch not noticed a strange black tendril poking out of a nearby vent.

“Is that a rat?” Twitch asked groggily. Wouldn't be the first time a rat got into the dugout. But said rats usually weren't so long. And slithering…

“Nightshade! Get down!” Twitch jumped and pushed her sibling down to the ground, just before a huge tendril swung at their head. The tendril instead hit the monitors Nightshade had attempted to fix. A single whack caused not only all the monitors to shatter, but the concrete wall behind them to violently crack.

Nightshade's optics widened with horror. There was no question about it. If that tendril had hit them instead, their head would have been knocked clean off.

The tendril dove for the pair of them, seeming to know exactly where they were despite not having eyes. They both moved to opposite sides, barely avoiding getting stabbed. As it pulled out of the small hole it burrowed into the floor, the tendril opened up for a second, briefly revealing a crimson reptilian eye that scanned the room before closing again.

Nightshade, in an effort to get out of the way, bumped into the table they had placed the reverse bear trap onto earlier. It fell into their lap with a clattering thud. An idea came to them, and they armed the trap to go off again.

“Twitch, take this and have it dive for you again! When it gets close, have it aim for the trap! I think it only keeps its eyes open for a few seconds at a time!”

“Twitch, take this and have it dive for you again! When it gets close, have it aim for the trap! I think it only keeps its eyes open for a few seconds at a time!”

Twitch, being the faster of the two even in her groggy state, agreed with a nod and flew past the tendril, the trap in her grasp. It took the bait and launched itself directly towards her, where it got the last several feet of its body caught in the trap’s mechanisms.

The tendril squirmed and rattled as the reverse beartrap’s countdown ticked. After a few agonizingly long seconds, it finally went off. Just as it had with the pumpkin earlier in the night, it absolutely ripped its prey apart with ease. Shards of metal and some kind of fleshy material flew to all corners of the dugout.

The worst part wasn't the sight of the impact, however, it was the dreadful noise it made. Whatever the tendril was attached to screamed in pain as its appendage was destroyed. It had a cry like a nuclear siren, low, loud, and ear-piercing. It felt like something you were never meant to hear, and simply perceiving was a sign that you as the listener were at death’s door.

What remained of the tendril receded back through the vents, leaking a runny black liquid with an odd, iridescent shimmer. A few of the larger chunks that had been ripped open were still slightly animate, curling where they lay like a dying spider.

Nightshade cautiously approached what appeared to be the eye of the tendril, or atleast what was left of it.

It was a translucent, jelly-like red substance with an awful black slit for a pupil that had sort of melted into the iris due to its injury. Said pupil shuddered in place one last time as Nightshade got closer, almost as if it could still perceive the bot somehow.

“Nightshade! Are you alright right!?” Twitch said, sounding out of breath despite not actually having lungs.

“Yes, I'm just a bit scratched up. It's nothing but a bit of polish won't get out.”

Without saying anything else, Nightshade grabbed and chugged down one of the energy drinks that their sister left out. “I know I said earlier that us drinking these was probably a bad idea, but I think they might help.” Their sister nervously fiddled with the can’s lid before managing to get it open for herself.

Nightshade scooped up what's left of the otherworldly tendril and brought it back to their lab.

Pausing to consider their next move, Nightshade eventually settled on attaching the still pulsating fleshy bits to a battery hooked up to a light bulb. After a few seconds, the light dimmed before going out completely. The battery was instantly dead.

“It appears you were right after all. Whatever this thing is, it emits some kind of field that drains energy from anything it's near.” Nightshade concluded.

“So that's what makes us feel so exhausted?” Twitch looked very concerned, her optics darting between Nightshade and her unconscious siblings.

“More than likely, yes. And you might have already guessed this, but I assume it's also keeping all our organic family members asleep. My current theory is that this is a hunting tactic.”

Twitch knew immediately what they were getting at. “Sleeping prey can't fight back.”

“Exactly.” Nightshade confirmed. “The fact that we were previously awake is most likely the only reason why we aren't currently unconscious.”

An uneasy silence filled the dugout. The siblings stood in place, the air around them cold and heavy with tension. Without saying a word, both of them knew what the other was thinking: that monster would be back any moment, and they couldn't keep up the energy to fight it back for long. It was a terrible calm before the storm, a feeling reminiscent of succumbing to hypothermia. An overwhelming, intoxicating urge to close your eyes and drift into a sleep you were well aware you'd never wake up from.

And at this moment, every light in the dugout switched off.

Act 2

The Terran siblings' optics were the only source of light in the now otherwise pitch black dugout. After the dreadful clicking of the lights switching off, the room was now eerily quiet once again.

“We didn't kill it.” Nightshade finally broke the silence, stating the obvious.

“No, you didn't.”

A voice replied, taunting the young bot. Well, perhaps calling it a voice would be too generous. Whatever responded spoke in a manner similar to rusted nails scratching at granite. Its pitch and tone managed to fluctuate in a manner that just barely could be recognizable as words. It was a sound that shouldn't be possible, as if scrap metal could somehow speak. It went beyond uncanny. Hearing something that otherworldly felt downright violating.

“What clever children you are, deducing my traits so quickly.

Most don't last long enough to find that out.”

Whatever monitors still remained attached flickered on, although they broadcasted nothing but static. When their adversary spoke again, the static shifted in time with its voice.

“My, such a colorful collection. So bright and shiny, sturdy with youthful vigor. Small you might be, but your remains will a part of something far bigger than you could ever dream.”

Twitch, with all her remaining energy, was not having any of this cryptic nonsense. She stormed up to the monitors and put her face meter inches from the screen in a confrontational manner.

“Get away from my family, NOW!” She boomed, slamming her foot onto the concrete floor.

The dying power on the monitor only showed one thing, the white enormous eye of their torturer.

“Oh my child, it's far too late for that.”

Twitch stepped back, trying her absolute best now to show how terrified she truly was. Too late for what? What was this thing implying?

“You're bluffing! You haven't gotten to them yet!” Nightshade answered back for her. “Now how about you save us all time and tell us what you want!”

Twitch wasn't sure what her sibling was getting at. Did they want to give into this thing's demands? And how could they know that their family hadn't been harmed yet?

“If you're already awake, I thought we might as well have a little fun.”

It was pretty obvious the creature was trying to be creepy, but neither of them knew whether or not it fully understood the context of what it just implied.

The dugout was completely silent and nearly pitch black, the abyss around them only just illuminated from both of the bots’ glowing optics.

“Nightshade! What do we do?! Our family is out there with that… that thing! I don't even know which way the exit is anymore, it's too dark…”

“There’s no reason for alarm, the dugout has a backup generator in the barn.” Nightshade tried their absolute best to remain calm for her, despite the gravity of the situation weighing on their mind as well.

“I'll go check on everyone in the house. In the meanwhile, you can start up the generator.”

“Wait, shouldn't that be the other way around? I can actually fit in the house, and you would know how the generator works.”

“Because I can grab everyone in one trip. It would take too long for you to back and forth. Plus, turning it on is rather simple.”

“Nightshade, I've seen the things you make, and none of them are simple.”

“It's literally just a red button labeled ‘generator’.”

“Nevermind, I should be able to handle that.”

Both of the bots carefully exited the dugout. With neither spotting the monster, Nightshade and Twitch split up, their goals both in sight.

Twitch approached the generator, optics darting around herself in paranoia.

“It's okay, Twitch. Just a few more steps.” The red bot assured herself, voice still shaky.

She stood in front of the machine, just barely out of arms’ reach. A chill ran down her metallic spine. Thoughts of what occurred earlier in the night ran through her mind. She kept imagining that if she pushed the button, something would come to remove her head from her shoulders.

“Twitch! HURRY!”

The loud voice booming from the doorway startled the poor bot. It was Nightshade, already back with their human family in tow. They were peacefully sleeping, blissfully unaware of the danger around them. Nightshade dashed into the bunker, leaving Twitch to finish her task.

With a deep sigh, she pushed the red button, the lights around her flickering on. Twitch turned back to join their sibling before stopping dead in her tracks. Something was pushing itself through a gap in the barn wall. A black, pulsating mass with gray armor grew larger as more of its amorphous form forced its way into the room. Five huge tendrils sprouted from a central metal lump. It almost looked like…

“A hand.” She breathed, the terrifying realization overcoming her.

A monsterous hand, almost bigger than her entire body.

She drew out her swords as the hand flexed its grotesque fingers.

The monster, noticing her presence, immediately lunged at her. She barely had enough time to dodge or before the gnarled fingers could ensnare her. The hand instead grabbed hold of a solid wooden support beam directly behind her. Smaller tendrils unwind themselves from the fingers joints, constricting the beam completely until the pressure caused it to cave in. An entire, solid cylinder of wood, crushed by a single movement into dust. The hand, realizing it has missed it's intended target, reared around with gelatinous eyes protruding from its finger joints, searching for Twitch.

“Hold still.”

“How about no!” She yelled before jabbing her blade into its wrist. The palm of the hand writhed in pain, fingers bending backwards as it struggled to pull the foreign object out. The wrist was almost jammed like a metal rod between two gears.

Twitch grabbed the handle of the embedded sword and twisted it clockwise, separating the hand from its wrist. A spray of oily fluid landed on her optics, muddling her vision. The hand writhed in pain for a moment, finally curling up on itself.

A distant sound of pain could be heard, but Twitch felt like she had no time to celebrate as she went to join her family. The young bot slammed the vault door shut as soon as she made it to the bunker, not wanting to take any more chances. Nightshade has laid the siblings’ organic family into individual sleeping quarters.

“Twitch, are you alright?” Nightshade asked, concerned. Their sibling’s face was drenched in the black, oily blood of their adversary.

“Yeah, I just had my hands full.” she responded confidently. Though her words had the cadence of a joke, Nightshade didn't seem to pick up on it.

“Seriously, what happened?” They prodded further.

“That monster tried to crush me. Sort of like this.” Twitch crushed one of the emptied energy drink cans as a demonstration.

“But it doesn't know who they're messing with, and I manage to cut their hand off.” She smiled proudly, but residual unease from the near death encounter still hung to her tone. This bravado was an attempt to force her mood to improve, and it wasn't entirely working.

“Here, to wipe the oil off.” Nightshade handed her a large cloth.

“Oh, thanks.” She cleaned her face up, before looking down at the now dirtied rag. “Wait, isn't this Robbie's shirt?”

“Yes. I borrowed some spare clothing from all of the family and store it here, in case of emergencies.”

“Borrowed? He told me he couldn't find this shirt for months….” She held out the soaked t-shirt in front of her, rancid oily blood dripping onto the floor.

“Emergency preparedness is more important than a diverse wardrobe.” Nightshade took the soiled garment and threw it into a basket. “That'll come off in the laundry. Probably.”

In the corner of Nightshade’s sensitive optics, they picked up some movement on the now activated surviving monitor. The pair raced over to see what it was. Out of the darkness of the forest above, something jumped into fame. The figure startled Nightshade badly enough that they fell to the floor. After recovering from the near spark attack herself, Twitch realized what it was.

“Oh, it's just a deer.” She gave a sigh of relief.

Nightshade got a good giggle from the pair of them getting so startled by a cute little buck. Twitch had mentioned she cut off the monster's hand, right? Surely, it wasn't coming back…

Gazing at the screen, something reached out and snatched the poor animal. Their monitor��s audio played a sickening crack the moment after. It was the unmistakable noise of snapping bone.

The culprit emerged from the woods, towering above even the tallest of trees. In one gnarled hand, it carried the limp body of the deer, whose neck was now bent at an unnatural angle, clearly dead.

The other hand was missing, leaving a stub of black tentrals.

It was clear this wasn't some kind of wooden monster they had thought of earlier. This was far more alien.

This monster appeared to be wearing the outer armor of a Cybertronian, held together by mangled tendrils and rusted metal sheets. Its abdomen, neck, and joints were made of thick, wiry tentacles twisted together like ropes of licorice. Long, clawed fingers clutched onto the ragdolled deer. Its face, seemingly normal at first glance, appeared to have enormous spotlights for optics, surrounded by deep black rings. It was as if it had carved holes in whatever unfortunate mech’s face it was using to fit its massive eyes.

The abomination was mostly gray, with any remaining colors on its shell muted and drained. It reminded Nightshade when they learned from Bumblebee. When a Cybertronian dies as a result of having their spark extinguished, their body will lose its color. All that's left behind is a gray, empty shell.

The monster lifted the deer so that it was held directly in front of its ghastly face. Instead of simply opening its mouth, it split its own jaw completely in half. Row upon row of sharp yellowed greeted their prey, before sinking into the buck’s head. It antlers sloughed off and fell to the forest floor. The poor deer's head barely gave any resistance to the creature’s bite, getting chomped away easily as a stalk of celery.

Twitch immediately felt sick, the urge to vomit filling her despite not even having a stomach.

Nightshade starred, wide-eyed with morbid curiosity, unawall to tear away their gaze.

With one of its clawed fingers, it easily gutted and flayed the remainder of the deer with the precision of a surgeon. It swallowed each limb whole, not even stopping to back a breather between each bite. The deer's torso was impaled on the tallest tree around, seemingly leaving it for later.

Full enough for now, the metallic corpse leaned over, resting its damaged arm on the forest floor. Slowly but surely, the severed tendrils twisted and grew, sprouting forward from the site of the injury. Soon enough, it had a brand new hand, identical to the original.

All of the damage the siblings had inflicted on the creature was undone in a moment.

“This isn't happening…” Twitch’s voice was barely a whisper, her entire body fighting back the urge to retch.

“A Valiant attempt, little one, But not good enough.”

The creature's unnatural voice made the static on the monitor worse as it spoke. How it had heard her from so far away was a complete mystery.

The thing bent forward to show its back, smaller tendrils poking out of the monster's armor. They wriggled and writhed, pulling themselves from the beast's back. Falling out from the cracks in the metal, two smaller creatures collided on the ground before standing up. They superficially resembled Cybertronian protoforms, but were differentiated by the claws and soulless eyes of the original monster.

“Go get me the green one. The red one is yours… consider it a treat.”

It pointed towards the camera at the base of the tree. The pawn-like monsters listened, immediately making their way towards the barn.

“I'll be seeing you shortly, Maltos.”

It bowed at the camera, before walking backwards out of site, into the woods.

“We are sooooo screwed.” Twitch mumbled, once the whole ordeal had concluded. “How did it find that tiny little camera? And when did it learn our family's name?”

“Don't worry, we, um…” Nightshade’s usually calm demeanor was shaking, the panic getting to them as well. … ‘“We should be safe here.” They placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly, metal clicking as they touched. Twitch immediately swatted their hand away, turning in place to face them.

“Safe?” Her optics went wide, sparking with a furocity Nightshade had only seen a few times before. “Safe?! You just saw that thing make more of itself, Nightshade! We are anything BUT safe right now!”

They knew she was right, and that their reassurance was an empty gesture she had easily seen through.

“I’m sick of this.”

She drew out both of her swords.

Nightshade looked visibly shaken from Twitch's outburst, justified as it might be. If they could cry, they would be tearing up.

“Twitch, I-”

Twitch cut them off again.

“I'm going out there to defend what I love!”

Even though Twitch was running off fumes, she would fight an army if it meant keeping their family safe.

Nightshade rubs their optics before putting a hand on her shoulder once again.

“Not by yourself. I'm coming with you.” Nightshade informed her with an uncharacteristically stirred tone.

“You need to stay here, with them.” She pleaded. “I've got more training than you. I can handle this.”

“With all due respect, there isn't a chance you'd survive going head to head alone with our advisory here. I doubt even Optimus could take that monster down by himself. I get why you want to me stay back, but we won't be of any use without each other.” They leaned in, giving Twitch a big bear hug.

“We're doing this together,” said Nightshade.

After a moment of hesitation, Twitch nodded firmly.

“Together.” she replied, hugging them back.

They made sure everything was secured before drinking what was left of the energy drinks in hopes of staving off the creature's parasitic exhaustion. Venturing out of the dugout, they double checked to guarantee the door was locked behind them.

The bots stuck close by to one another, Twitch leading slightly ahead. Just as Nightshade got an arm's length away from their sister, something jumped on their shoulders and wrapped its arms around their neck.

It was one of the odd gray things the creature had produced. The thing was about Twitch’s size, only barely taller than the average human. Nightshade was able to pull their assailant off them, slamming it against the dirt.

Cracks formed on the monster's armor, its left leg was bent in the opposite direction.

This seemingly didn't slow it down, however, as with a high pitch grunt it snapped its leg back in place before charging at the green mech.

“NIGHTSHADE! Go high, I'm going low!” Twitch changed her hand into a blaster before taking aim and firing. The laser shot hit the monster's bad leg, blasting it off from the knee down.

As the creature stumbled, Nightshade’s talons struck against its face. This almost completely destroyed one of its eyes, leaving a deep gash. They knock it back with a powerful upcut to its jaw, sending half of its pointy teeth into the air.

As it fell backwards, Twitch raised one of her blades. She sent an aggressive slash on its shoulder. The sword moves in a round arc, cutting its torso in two like a knife through warm butter.

Both halves of the body fell down. Horrifically, even though all the monstrosity had left was a single arm, it continued to drag itself towards them. The thing seems either unaware or unbothered by the fact that its insides were being scrapped across the ground as it moved.

Nightshade backed up a good distance from their pursuer before running back at it, full sprint. With one solid kick, they sent its head flying over the house.

“Goal!” Nightshade cheered, twisting around to check on Twitch. Their little joke seemed to have worked at lightening some of the tension, and she smiled back at him widely. “That was incredible, Nightshade!”

As the small monster's corpse finally fell still, the siblings celebrated by high-fiving each other.

Their victory was short-lived, however, as an enormous hand rapidly grabbed Twitch from around the house. Nightshade ran after it, coming to stand in front of the Goliath.

“Let me go!” Twitch demanded, taking a shot at the thing’s chest, leaving nothing but a small burn mark. It retaliated by squeezing her tighter. With its other hand, it picked up her swords before tossing them away into the woods.

“You! After all this… chaos! What more do you want?” Nightshade yelled as loud as their vocal processor would allow.

The creature flexed its long neck towards the ground, gargantuan eyes boring holes into Nightshade's very being.

“It appears your human masters didn't raise you with any manners, child. But for future reference, it's not considered polite to ask such questions before being given a proper introduction.”

It gave a devilish, cocky smirk. The sickeningly smug expression of a creature who knew it had already won. It was just toying with its prey now, watching them squirm and suffer for its own amusement.

“You may call me Exquisite Corpse. I've seen how smart you are, I assume you can guess how I earned such a title.”

Nightshade wasn't even sure how to respond. This thing's manner of speech was infuriatingly civilized, clearly in an attempt to further provoke them.

“As for your question, I am after you in particular, little owl.”

“Me?!” They blurted in response. “And what makes you think I'm going to go along with this?” Nightshade challenged, trying not to let their confusion and fear show.

The haughty grin on Exquisite Corpse’s face never faltered.

“Oh, I suspected resistance from you, child. There's a good reason I made my powers known to you from the start.”

It leaned in even closer, its massive face just inches from Nightshade. Bits of blood and refuge from the deer it had previously consumed clung to its metal fangs.

“You know what I'm capable of. You know what I could do to not only her,”

It shook Twitch around in its hand, causing the red bot to yelp in shock and discomfort.

“But to your entire clan if I wanted. So now that you're aware of what's at stake, I don't think you'll put up any more struggle when I tell you to come with me.”

“Don't even think about it, Nightshade!” Twitch barked.

“I didn't say you could talk, fly!”

It screeched, pressing its claws against her even further. Twitch's body creaked as she tried not to scream from the pain. It was clear that if Exquisite Corpse's grip got any tighter, those claws would rip right through her.

“Stop!” Nightshade begged. “Please, just put her down…”

“Oh, I'll do a lot more than that. Do as I say, and your entire family will get left out of this unfortunate little affair.”

It leaned its empty hand in front of the bot.

“How does that sound, owl?”

The lights in Nightshade's optics streaked, making their vision go blurry. Tensing up, they reluctantly grabbed a finger of the giant hand back, shaking it.

“I accept your terms.” they solemnly said, biting their lip in anguish.

“I knew you were smart. Very good.”

It tossed Twitch to the ground, the minion pawns standing behind her with baited breath, held back only by their obedience to their master like a dog on a leash.

Exquisite Corpse gently picked up the owl, exhaling a deep purplish smoke in their face. Nightshade immediately felt more tired than they ever had in their life. As their body went limp for exhaustion, they heard one final exchange from the monster to its servants.

“She's all yours.”

As they walked off towards the woods, the last thing Nightshade could process was Twitch's voice, violently screaming out for their sibling to help her.

Act 3

The cold, metallic clicking of leaking rainwater rose Nightshade from their unconsciousness. They managed to pry their optics open, the young bot's vision blurred from exhaustion and their injuries. Nightshade silently prayed to whatever might be listening that all this had just been some sort of horror movie induced nightmare. That when they got up, they’d find themselves awake in the cozy dugout, surrounded by their siblings. That they could go on and have another fun, peaceful day with those they loved.

But they were met with no such luck. They were lying on an unfamiliar rusted floor, faint light leaking in from a hole above them. Scattered drops of fresh rain pattered down, keeping the air around them cool. It was a sound they usually quite enjoyed, under happier circumstances. With no idea where they were, however, it only brought them a further sense of alienation.

As they tried to gather their thoughts, a voice they had gotten to know far too well over the past few hours made itself heard.

“Rise and shine~”

The voice called from a pitch black doorway, only the speaker's white eyes indicating someone was there. Nightshade tried to change forms, but residual weakness kept them barely able to move. Honestly, they were surprised still able to move at all, being so drained of-

“Energy” it said.

“You need it to survive like all things do. It will not be good if you're too weak to stand.”

Its eyes narrowed to pin pricks of light.

“Lucky for us, it seems like your kind is able to process organics. Looks like we have something in common.” A wheezy laugh escaped the beast’s mouth.

“Unlike your inferior kin.”

It tossed a plastic-wrapped packet into Nightshade's cell.

“Is this Jerky?” they mumbled, looking over the bag with bleary optics.

“Better than rats, I suppose. Or do your animalistic instincts crave raw vermin?” It tilts its head.

“How would you know my body can process organic material?” Nightshade questioned, weakly.

“You and your sister seem to process those caffeinated liquids just fine. Besides, I can't see it being possible for a techno-organic species to survive solely off of polluted water.” It leaned its metallic face closer, its nightmarish grin now barely visible in the pale light. “You mean to tell me that in the year or so you’ve existed, you never bothered trying any food?” Its smile somehow grew wider.

Nightshade cut the side of the packet, pulling out one strip of dry meat. They placed it in their mouth and chewed a bit. It was pretty good, surprisingly. Under different circumstances, they'd be excited to try out other human foods. After swallowing it, they still felt off, like there was a hollow feeling in them that the small piece of nourishment slightly filled.

The beast spoke once more.

“I will return when you recover your strength. Until then, stay here.” It taunted, knowing damn well they weren't going anywhere.

It shut the thick metal door behind it with a cold clank. Alone and in the dark again, the green bot pulled out another piece of jerky.

“I hope Twitch is ok.”

---

Sharp claws rendered the air next to Twitch, the red bot barely managing to dodge the swipe by a hair. She reared in for a punch to its face, but was instead met with a monstrous knee to the abdomen. She failed to stop her battered fame from involuntarily folding up like a lawn chair from the pain. Orange, shaky optics stared down the approaching behemoth as it made its way to the barnside.

Twitch managed to activate the fans on her circular wings, blowing the monster back as it lunged directly towards her. The thing yelped as it was knocked backwards, but didn't remain stunned for long.

With her processor still hazy and her movements sluggish, Twitch knew this wouldn't be an even fight. She'd need to end it quickly, because there was no way her stamina would keep up for long.

As the husk made its way towards her once again, Twitch used what little remaining energy she had to back herself up into the garage. She frantically slammed her fist down on the button used to close the garage's metal door, hoping it would buy her a little more time. As the husk lunged at her again, she raised her arm, with just enough space between them to take a clear shot.

In less than a second, her laser blew a hole directly into the monster's head, sending it flying backwards. The garage door slammed shut right as its body was about half way through the exit, moving quickly enough to bisect the creature horizontally. The thing’s lower half laid on the garage floor, legs violently jerking one last time before going still.

After a moment's hesitation, she carefully moved to get a better look at the split torso. Oily black ooze and wiry threads leaked from the opened wound. Inside were tightly wrapped threads, somewhat resembling muscles, clinging tightly to shiny silver bones. The red bot hesitantly nudged the tattered mass with her foot. Satisfied when it didn't move, she let out a sigh of relief.

She decided to inspect the garage doors, wondering how they had closed so fast. It appeared that Nightshade had added some sort of speed adjuster, currently set onto “Turbo”.

“Nightshade’s going to get one of us killed these days, if they keep messing with electronics like this.” She mumbled. “Oh no, Nightshade!” Twitch's mind was flooded with thoughts of the monstrosity dragging away her sibling. Panic surged through her circuits, making her trace the room in circles, cradling her head in her hands. If she could barely take one of its minions, she wouldn't stand a chance against the creature alone. That's when her optics landed on a car battery and jumper cables.

“What would Nightshade do…” Twitch pondered aloud, gazing over the batteries with inquisitive optics.

_ _ _

Nightshade had just barely regained the strength to stand when their host decided to return.

“Please, follow me, honored guest.” It gestured, holding a slender hand behind itself. Not seeing any other viable options, Nightshade did as they were told.

As the young bot trailed behind their captor, it became apparent to them that they didn't even reach past the monster's knee in height. Wherever they were, the quiet halls of this place were clearly designed to be occupied by beings of immense stature.

Nightshade decided now would be as good a time as any to ask the burning question on their processor. “Are you going to kill me?”

“Blissfully foolish little thing. If I planned to kill you, why would I have kept you alive this long?” Seemingly just to taunt Nightshade, it dragged its claws against the stone walls, leaving shallow marks and a grating noise as they continued.

“I don't know. You could have plenty of reasons. That's why I asked.”

The monster looked back at Nightshade incredulously, only to be met with a sincere expression from the green bot. It was genuinely a little surprised at how curious their captive was. If anything, they seemed just as interested in the logistics of this operation as they did their own fate.

“I want you to join me… Nightshade.” The thing’s smile grew to enormous proportions, only to fade as they realized Nightshade gave no visible reaction to having their name used.

“Aren't you curious how I knew your name?” It tried to sound intimidating, but the bot just continued to stare at them with a wide eyed, yet steady expression.

“I just assumed you overheard my sister referring to me as such.” They answered. “Is that not the case?”

“Uh, no, I… Nevermind.” It seemed embarrassed of all things, not getting to use its usual mindgames. “Scrap, I lost my train of thought. Where was I?”

“You mentioned you wanted me to join you in something?”

“Oh, right, thanks.” It coughed awkwardly. “Ahem. Anyway, my kind has a unique way to produce more of our species. It all starts with a small injection.”

Its tongue formed into a sharp, needle-like point. Nightshade's optics went wide, nervously taking a step back.

“Your body will undergo a beautiful transformation. You'll be stretched, strained, melted. Your insides will dissolve and reform into divine fibrous threads, while keeping your outer casing mostly in tack.” Having regained its sinister mojo, it leaned in menacingly.

“And most importantly, you will be able to spread your variation of life to all that you see. Your unique biology, I believe it's called your alt mode… it's the perfect blend of organic and inorganic material.”

It gestures to the room in front of them.

Inside, dozens of stasis pods filled with an odd silver liquid Thing against the walls, each with a glowing ball of light in their chests.

Nightshade peered in, before being struck with dreadful recognition. “No, those aren't-”

“Oh, but they are! Protoforms, just for us. You can think of them as our new family.” It laughed, a sound like metal scraping against itself.

“Your techoraganic DNA will make them perfect hybrids between you and I.”

“And why was I chosen for this?” Again, Nightshade’s tone, while clearly uncomfortable, also was bizarrely curious given the circumstances.

The monster scratched at its eye socket, as if it was getting bored.

“Your alt mode, little owl. Strong, swift, and capable of flight. None of your kin can compare in potential.”

“And why can't you just make your army on your own?”

Their bright-eyed, inquisitive questioning seemed genuinely rooted in fascination with this process, which was almost annoying to their captor. It sighed, and begrudgingly answered.

“My body is beyond repair, as you may have noticed. Its previous occupant was gravely injured when I took their place. I was going to just scavenge for more parts… but upon picking up signs of unique, *living* biomechanical parts nearby… Well, that gave me a better idea.”

The two of them continued their walk, finally ending up in an enormous room.

Trashed control panels for an unidentifiable drive and gnarled viscera littered the floor. The foul stench of copper and rot emanated from a tub in the dead center. The beast pushed a reluctant Nightshade towards it.

The scared bot hesitantly peered over the vessel, only to be greeted by a viscous red liquid.

Nightshade nearly gagged upon recognizing the horrific sight in front of them, stumbling backwards away from the blood. Their captor, apathetic towards their discomfort, grabbed the young bot with a single clawed hand.

“But before we comment, I will need approval from a higher power.”

It dipped its free hand into the blood, and began to paint a sigil on the wall.

It licks its filthy hand clean before hovering a clawed finger over Nightshade's face.

“I require one last ingredient to achieve communication.”

Nightshade tried to squirm away to break free as the point of the monster's claw made contact with their cheek. Searing hot pain engulfed their entire face.

The young bot desperately tried to hold in their screams, not wanting to give their tormentor the satisfaction. Having never experienced anything like this, anything this unbearably horrible, how very, they gave in, screeching at the awful sensation. The whole ordeal lasted only a moment, and the monster revealed to them a luminous green liquid on its finger tip.

For a second, Nightshade was confused in its origin. Realization dawned on them as they felt the liquid trickle onto their chest.

“I'm bleeding.” They stated, their tone cold and grim from shock.

“A nice pretty green.” It laughed, mixing Nightshade’s blood into the sigil.

Nightshade watched in helpless horror as the blood twisted and moved upon contact, changing colors until eight white, luminous eyes took form.

_ _ _

Twitch shakily touched the two ends of the jumper cables together, watching with wide optics as they sparked at the contact. The jolt nearly scared the sprockets out of her, but she managed to take a deep breath to steady herself again. She stood over her unconscious younger sister, attaching the cables with an uncertain hum. A zap of energy filled the air before the car battery made a “pop” and went stone dead.

Twitch clutched her fists tightly, heat welling up in her face as her desperate attempt to wake Hashtag failed. She felt her knees go weak, and a strong urge to curl up into a ball and cry. Before she could give in, a faint whirring noise caught her attention. It was Hashtag's optics, groggily prying themselves open.

“Twitch? What's going on-”

With her energy revived by hope, Twitch rushed in to give her sister one of her famous bear hugs.

“Uh, good morning to you too.” Hashtag said awkwardly, patting her on the back.

Twitch grabbed her sister's hand, desperately tugging it as she tried to pull the larger bot up.

“We need to go, now! Something horrible took Nightshade and-”

“Whoa, slow down, Twitch. I just woke up.” Hashtag stood up, feeling the odd cables attached to her neck.

“I didn't go to sleep with these on, right?” She questioned.

“There's a giant monster keeping everyone asleep! I had to jumpstart you awake with that.”

Hashtag narrowed her optics incredulously.

“Giant… monster?” She parroted back.

“Yeah, the thing is probably twice the size of Mr Prime!” Twitch was practically dragging Hashtag outside at this point. ���It sent creatures to attack us. But me and Nightshade destroyed one and I took care of another myself.”

Now outside, Hashtag didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

“Really?” Hashtag rhetorically asked. She thought this had to be some kind of poorly planned joke.

“Yes, really!” The smaller answered, frustrated that she wasn't being taken seriously. “Look, its remains are over here-”

The bisected upper half of the monster was gone, only leaving a puddle of oily blood by the opening of the garage.

Before Hashtag could react, her sister let go of her arm, frantically looking around the building’s exterior for any signs of the missing body.

Hashtag did her best to keep up with her, eventually finding Twitch directly behind the barn, seemingly frozen in place.

“Hey, what's wrong? You're acting-”

The upper half of the creature that Twitch fought previously cut Hashtag off. The two sisters watched in stunned silence as what should have been a corpse pulled parts of the other slain monstrosity into itself. Threads from its wound skewered and pulled scattered limbs, bones, and plating together to reconstruct itself. The final result took the form of a metallic homunculus centaur.

“So that's what you were talking about.” Was all Hashtag could say before the beast spotted the pair, instantly lunging for them.

They both were barely able to dodge the strike, causing the centaur’s arm to slash at a nearby bench, slicing it in two. After realizing it had missed, it started galloping on clawed legs in another loop before heading towards Twitch. She didn't have time to get up before it was upon her. Its front legs, the former arms of its lower half, held Twitch down as it prepared for a devastating swipe.

Hashtag took a moment to recover, before her optics lit up. She was right next to the family grill’s propane tank.

She ripped it out and triumphantly held it above her head.

“Hey, freak!”

The thing turned around just in time to have the tank smash its face in. Twitch scrambled free as it loosened its grip. She zipped away as the monster's head weakly turned to face her, its jaw hanging on by a few sinews.

She aimed her blaster at the propane tank.

“Yippee kayak other buckets.” Hashtag didn't get the Brooklyn 99 reference.

The tank exploded into a huge fireball. Chunks of the creature’s flesh and limbs flew all over the place. The sisters didn't have much time to celebrate before panic set back in.

“That thing must be doing something horrible to Nightshade!” Twitch belated frantically.

“Twitch, I mean…” Hashtag loosely kicked one of the detached parts. “It looks pretty dead to me.”

“No, a much bigger one got them!”

“Oh…wait, I've got Nightshade's signal! We can track them!” Hashtag said cheerfully.

“Wait, what?”

“What do you mean, what? Did Nightshade not tell you about those tracking implants they put in us? I can follow them.”

Twitch decided this wasn't the time to question that. She picked up her swords and gave her sister a solid nod.

“Let's get ‘em, Hashtag.”

_____

The bloody figure in the mural was similar to the monster’s minions, except for the enormous horns and eight spider-like eyes. Nightshade looked towards the thing to see a snarl replaced its grin.

His captors began, furious. “Where is SHE! I must speak with her you-”

“How rude of you to yell at your superior. Besides, she is busy at the moment. You should know that better than anyone… leach.”

The painting could somehow move, as if each brush stroke independently changed on their own.

“If you're asking to start your own colony, then the answer is still no. Even if she was here to allow it.”

“Why not? This one has the potential to bring a new generation into being. Plus, I have the strength and knowledge to lead the way to greatness.”

It pushed Nightshade forward like it was showing their teacher its homework, with a tinge desperation is in its voice.

“For one, you think you're anything special because you fused to a cybertronian body? Any brain dead husk could do that. Second, you are considered on line for execution for abandoning your duty and attempting to start a hive. Third, my lady wouldn't like to see this poor child be subject to your will.

So I suggest you just save us all the trouble of hunting you down, and end your life before we can.”

It finished with a scrap-eating smile.

“Leach.”

The beast's eyes narrowed, it's expression morphing into pure anger.

“You ugly son of a-” A barrage of swears and curses that Nightshade only heard in the movie came out of its mouth. Some of them were for languages they couldn't even begin to understand.

This gave Nightshade the chance to sneak away while it was distracted. When they were sufficiently far enough, they ran down what they thought was the outside door. They were met with a control panel that required a code to progress. Completely over this scrap, Nightshade just ripped the panel off.

After a bit of fiddling with the wiring, the door swung open. Nightshade sprinted into the cool night. They looked behind them to see their captor had apparently kept them in a crashed alien ship.

“Look, they're over there!”

A wonderfully familiar voice rang out of the forest. Not a moment later, Nightshade recognized the bright headlights of Hashtag’s alt mode, with Twitch, curiously, riding on her back.

“Hashtag! You're awake! Twitch, did you-”

Of course, they were interrupted by Twitch ramming into them for a hug. Nightshade awkwardly patted their sister on the back.

“Woah! Were you in there, Nightshade?” The largest of the siblings eagerly drove up the entrance of the downed ship. She was knocked backwards as the monster reared its head out of the entrance.

“YOU!” It bellowed, fangs bared. It reached towards Nightshade with feverish rage, clearly infuriated that it had been cheated.

Hashtag, still in her alt mode, took the initiative to drive at the monster's leg at full speed. Having taken it by surprise, it was off balance enough that she managed to cleanly snap its calf from its thigh. The leg went flying, and the monster screeched in pain.

“Wow, that actually worked?” She seemed genuinely surprised.

Twitch grabbed Nightshade and the satellite of Hashtag's alt mode, attempting to yank the two forward. “It's not going to stay down for long! We need to get out of here!”

“Aw, really? I mean, we took out its leg, right? That's gotta be enough. Can't I atleast get to check out the spaceship?” Hashtag pleaded.

The monster screamed again, rearing up to charge at them on its three remaining legs. “INSOLENT CHILDREN! I'LL WEAR YOUR CADAVERS AS NECKLACES WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!”

“...Nevermind, I want to go home now.”

With Hashtag having the most energy of the siblings (and being the largest), she stuck to her alt mode with the other two on the roof of her van, racing through the woods with the alien on their tail. Having removed its leg had slowed it down, but not enough that out running it would be easy.

Twitch was using what little strength she had to fire lasers back at their pursuer, to little avail.

“Hey, I probably should have asked this earlier, but where are we going?” Hashtag's radio called out.

Nightshade glared daggers through the window of their sister’s alt mode. “What?! Hashtag, you're the one driving! Are we just headed in a random direction?”

“I panicked! This is terrifying! Just be grateful I'm not leaking oil or anything!”

Before Nightshade could respond, they heard the familiar chugging of a train. Sure enough, just up ahead was one of the unmanned Ghost trains. Finally, a fighting chance.

“Is that a train?” Twitch took a moment's break to look behind her. A flash of recognition in her optics told Nightshade she had just gotten the same idea they did.

“Hashtag! Can you control the-” She began, but it seems her sister was also on the same wavelength. Using her remote hacking abilities, she had the cybernetic train slow down, allowing her to drive across the track. “Hold on, I'm going to make a hard left!”

The monster, clearly not giving it the human made locomotive a second thought, turned around to continue its chase. The nanosecond it stepped foot on the tracks, Hashtag had the train pull forward at max speed, obliterating its remaining hind leg. With a hellish roar, their pursuer fell to the ground, where Hashtag preemptively ran its torso over and over again with the train until she was satisfied.

“I saw that in a movie once, it's called double tapping. You don't stop until you know it's dead.” She chimed, seemingly happy with the results.

Shifting back to bot mode, all three siblings cautiously approached the slain beheatmoth, its nightmarish body splayed in half. Oily guts coated the tracks and train, leaving a thick smell of burned rubber and iron in the air.

“...I think I'm going to pass out.” Twitch fell to her knees, exhausted, clutching her forehead. Both Nightshade and Hashtag ran to her side, picking her up by the shoulders.

“Woah, hey, Twitch, you're good, you're good. That was the main monster, right, Nightshade?” Hashtag's big blue optics glittered with hope in their sibling's direction, waiting for a positive response.

“Well… yes and no. From what I saw, this creature is part of some alien society with others if it's kind. However, it seems its… higher ups, for lack of a better term, don't have much interest in coming to earth.”

“So… it's working alone, right? We're done?” Twitch pulled herself up, gaining a bit of balance.

“For now. This is something we'll have to discuss with Optimus Prime and Megatron.”

“Oh man, Optimus… are we going to get in trouble for destroying this train?” Hashtag worriedly looked over the damaged Ghost train. Unsurprisingly, repeatedly ramminging it into a giant alien had done a significant amount of damage.

“I think they'll understand.” Nightshade reassured her.

“Are we… we need to check up on the others at home.” Twitch began hovering back to the direction of the family house, still determined as ever to keep her loved ones safe.

A giant claw smacked her out of the sky without a moment's notice, breaking both her wing and the eerie silence of the forest.

It wasn't dead. Not completely, anyway.

The monster's head and shoulder were still loosely held onto its right arm by a few mangled tendrils, allowing the wounded creature to drag itself slowly across the grass.

“Nightshade, we aren't done. Please, listen to me. I can promise you-”

Nightshade noticed a glowing orb hanging on to the lower part of its neck, appearing to be some sort of power cell.

They walked over as the creature continued its monologue. It seemed to believe the green bot was considering its offer.

Nightshade stomped on the power cell repeatedly, until it exploded into a pile of azure sludge. As they had predicted, all life signs from the creature faded, and its tendrils loosened their grip on its body completely.

“I am so tired of that thing.” They sneered, unusually bitter. Their facial expression softened as they turned back to their injured sister. “Are you alright, Twitch?”

“Ugh, I'm… yeah, I'll just need to get this fixed.” She confirmed, shaking her loosened wing to test its durability.

Hashtag transformed, honking her van’s horn. “Ok, you guys need to tell me everything on the way back. I'm so confused right now. Hop on already!”

---FIN—