newtranslation

[newtranslation]

was i supposed to remember something? was i supposed to do something? now that febuary 4th is here, i feel somewhat queer, i suppose i have to make decisions but i can't think about hardly any in this condition. i have no visions for the future, i cant even sum up today, i just worked first ventures, got trench foot, and tried to pray my invalidity away.

[newtranslation]

to hold your glowing body once more, we can be together a big sun, radiating light and warmth, together we are alive and bright, you stoke my stinking soul with life, we could be making solar flares, our red hot hands can join and you can eventually leave and i'll eclipse and until we join again, you're all i'll ever think about and miss

[newtranslation]

you don't want me and i don't want you i just want a revolving stand in until i can have somebody new. what i dont understand is how i've fucked up again because it turns out i still don't want casual sex, i dont want any of it. i want to be a better climber, i want to be a better snowboarder, i want to be something, not be with someone. but i want to fuck, but there's no point. there's never any point. i need to let my hair grow out. i need to let my desires die. i meed to abandon the idea of fucking for fun, and i need to abandon the idea that anyone worth wanting, wants me back

[newtranslation]

was really high on k and watched alien romulus with ryland and buddy lol bizarro experience, i live for the odd things out

[newtranslation]

we starve under the raging sunset and try to feast with our eyes. we are hungry for that infernal passion, waiting to hold each other, but pausing to ourselves. the moment can not break into two when each stares as one. eventually there will be a sunrise where i awake with you in my arms and a sunset where you go to bed in them. until then i gaze alone, and i gaze at you, gazing alone.

[newtranslation]

rent is due soon, i want to go home, i want to just cuddle ewith diana and eat good food

we'll see if i make it to 12 pm

[newtranslation]

1/25/2025

it's a yeast infection, of course it is. i am so dumb, i just nam moi a di da phat to buddha that it goes away quickly. also my vagina hates being alive but i still try and use her lol. i dont like anyone and everyone doesnt like me hehe

[newtranslation]

1/23/2025

i want tew make banana bread later today, the princess bride was pretty good, i didnt remember it at all

this vaginal thing is really bothering me

i hate that everything i bought online except for the bib actually is just not quite right but i'm not returning any of it lol

we need to do litter, water, and dishes before work right now

[newtranslation]

undefeated champion of best sister and person on earth, first day of actual sleep in forever, i have car, i have diana, now i just need this upper lip zit, mild illness and vaginal issue to leave

[newtranslation]

okay i dont think i have uti, i just think we went way too hard, i think i have tearing and i dont know what's up with my discharge, i think i'm gonna give it one more day

i need to do laundry, go to post office, make banana bread, maybe vaccuum, do teeth whitening strips, organize diana's things, and make lunch or dinner, whichever comes to mind first

[newtranslation]

chastise the land you crawl upon, tread not lightly but with all seriousness, up on two, down on four and becomjng one when you lay on the ground, eyes closed, body reposed, if you're underwater, a breath hold. if you float, chest exposed, rippling in the clear cold. and should you sink sometimes it's in soft snow, and if you're dragged it's by the river's flow.

[newtranslation]

i sometimes forget about the raw power i hold. life has been too good, my inner god does not stir, i am happier being human. i healed myself, i complained it into existence, my spite is fertilizer for the supreme joy of being me.

[newtranslation]

the in and out is so crazy right now, i don't know if i'll get the food anytime soon, it's so crazy i think there's like twenty people in front of me. i love my stream of consciousness lmaoooo consciencenezz. i mourn the foul end this will all come to. but i am trying to have fun, or at least some semblance of it. men are all boring and they don't say anything worth listening to and they are all the same. intensely the same, just like i am the same as every other woman and person. but theyre worse. but worst of all is me, unlucky, unforgiving, with a scary selfish streak. someday i hope to meet with someone who can share in how i feel and not say stupid stuff to me all the time and we can also have sex that's good and not gross and sad

[newtranslation]

had sex, getting me car back, sisters come tomorrow, can maybe pick up mail? i have no clue i don't think so haha

i think i may be sick again but i refuse to acknowledge such a thing

oh em gee!!!! i will have a fabulous next couple of days

[newtranslation]

i am not sorry at all, i had a terrible fucking end to my day but at least i got to catch up with hugo!!! also there will more trivia but there will not be more times when i need to be by myself bc of all the stupid shit that happened. i was so mad at everyone last night and the last thing i needed to do was hang out with those chuckleheads doing trivia even though i had been so excited for it, they fucking killed that excitement accidentally

[newtranslation]

1/14/2025

went to work, boarded for the first time back on my ankle, made fried rice, watched starship troopers, ate mint ice cream, got to watch one more episode of inuyasha. i am the happiest camper

[newtranslation]

omg did arms and legs and a lil bit of core and got in donner lake and made flan and painted a little and sent texts and drew at the ice skating rink and got tipsy and watched inuyasha, i had a very full and fulfilling day nice!