#censoring because again i dont want anyone to find me not because i dont like the ship i love them

[evenmorebeetles]

I am so so tired of people watching stuff where the gay ship obviously isn't going to be canon, staking their entire life and well-being on it becoming canon, and then, when it inevitably does not become canon, crying queerbait and attacking other ships and screaming like they've been done an awful injustice and claiming that the entire media was shit the entire time. Like y'all. Must we do this literally every time a show ends.

[pa-pa-plasma]

apparently people are fucking stupid, so yes, even if tumblr is being extremely annoying about One Piece, even if you hate One Piece, even if One Piece killed your grandma, stop writing entire paragraphs about that & tagging it as #One Piece #One Piece Live Action #OPLA #OP #Luffy One Piece #Zoro One Piece etc etc because I've seen multiple posts that have like 20 tags like that & none of them are commentary.

this isn't just about One Piece though! I've seen this in other fandoms, which is why the main post doesn't mention OP by name. This annoyance has just culminated with OP for me. People have lost their fandom manners, this isn't just me trying to shove an anime down your throat. literally block the tag if you hate it, use mobile or any of the 100 tutorials on how to block the jolly roger in the corner, just stop being an asshole about it because 1: the fans & Oda didn't do this, Netflix did, & 2: I can guarantee that assholeishness & entitlement is not unique to the One Piece tag, as I have literally seen multiple times.

anyways, ahem

IF YOU TAG YOUR HATE POSTS IN ORDER TO PUT THEM IN THE MAIN TAG, NO MATTER THE REASON, I WILL KILL YOU PERSONALLY. DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

that is all.

I can't believe I have to say this in the year 2023 but if you are going to make a post that is a full paragraph of you saying how much you hate something

don't tag it.

don't put that shit. in the main tag. where people go to see the thing they like. or I will

Kill

you personally

if you don't like the thing, block the tag & don't follow blogs who do like it. That is all.

[stelladess]

So instead of doing something fun I wake up to finding out more bs from Yostar Korea, I will explain below but first, reminder, please write in about this to Yostar and Hypergryph (again, unlikely HG had anything to do with this but their silence on this matter is still extremely disappointing) info@yo-star.com info@yo-star.com press@yo-star.com press@yo-star.com cs@hypergryph.com cs@hypergryph.com

They did not take down an artist´s work this time for extremely flimsy reasons and call not hating women a divisive position that divides people and then go on about how Arknights strives to be apolitical. Or have the social media manager liking on the official AK Korea twitter account art of Jessica being tortured. This time it was a bit less severe, they censored Jessica the Liberated in game artwork.

For those unaware there is a conspiracy theory in South Korea about there being a wide spread thing of femenists in video games hiding hand signs that imply small dicks in gacha games specificallly to harass men. Because of this many gacha games will censor any hand gesture that can even remotely resemble such when publishing in Korea, this is very common and done by many gacha games. Which like, is part of the problem. They are catering to sexist pigs which then helps cultivate an audience of said sexist pigs who they need to keep placating. And quite frankly, the people who make these games, artists, writers, etc. Deserve to be treated better then to have their work censored or removed to appease sexists. Because I love Arknights and it means a lot to me it really hurts seeing the people making it have their work be disrespected like this by the publisher, and it hurts seeing the studio being silent about this. I strongly suggest completely boycotting originite packs and similar things, make clear on any survey for the game that actions such as this make you NOT want to spend money on the game, WRITE to both Yostar and Hypergryph and explain you do NOT want to support a game that bends over to the whims of sexist pigs. I want to be able to say that I did *something* about this. Arknights is the gacha game I have spent the most money in, but I have a hard time justifying doing so anymore if this situation continues, which I am going to tell Yostar and Hypergryph, and I think anyone reading this should do so as well, also I think you should tell other people to tell them that as well. Yostar needs to issue a full apology and put back all the artworks they took down or censored to the way they were, and unless that or HG cutting off their partnership with Yostar happens, or at the very least strongly condemns these actions, I am gonna stop buying any more packs for the game. I do however suggest you go support artists harmed by such practices, im sure other people know of more but the only one I know of from the top of my head is here: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/16826909 For Arknights ones, for other games i also know at least of Vellmori for Limbus Company who was also targetted by incels. EDIT: had written poll instead of survey by accident

EDIT: Previously suggested boycotting Jessica banner, this was a pretty silly suggestion made in anger when not thinking clearly. The important thing is to refuse to give any MONEY. Pull all you want. Just dont spend ANY money.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

why people care about your opinion when u are a tae anti is beyond me. Jkkrs are already seen bad and now we have u and mrs-monaghan to make it all worst (and the fact that somehow both of u have a platform and a bunch of fans who listens to whatever u have to say, wow). In the end, you r setting jkkrs up. You probably will say that u dont care about what people say and think and blablablabla, which is worrying. How can someone not care about being seen as an anti of a person that their fav loves very much? U dont like to be put in a box, but there is a name to people in this fandom that behaves like u, yk? Its called being a solo (or akgae, considering your hate towards tae), and thats what u are.

Hi anon,

I'll answer you and hopefully this answers a lot of past, present, and future people who will want me to meditate on my behavior, change, repent (lol).

I'll use my terms since I don't use the other ones. Also, let's break this up into parts to clear some stuff up:

why people care about your opinion when u are a tae anti is beyond me.

People don't really care about my opinion, though. They really don't and I don't write for people, I write for me. You have no idea the number of people that have me blocked. I am blocked and unfollowed everytime I don't write an ot7 love and peace post, for disliking Tae, for saying Jimin doesn't want to perform Tony Montana, for saying Jimin was sabotaged, for agreeing with some pjm stuff, for not loving Jungkook like I love Jimin, for saying Jikook has had breakups, for loving Jimin too much.

So yeah, people don't care about my opinion. But now I'm wondering...if you don't care about my opinion, why haven't you blocked me and why are you in my inbox?

Jkkrs are already seen bad and now we have u and @mrs-monaghan to make it all worst (and the fact that somehow both of u have a platform and a bunch of fans who listens to whatever u have to say, wow).

Again, I don't have a bunch of fans. And also, don't you dare say that Shaz is making it worse. She has never said anything bad about any member. I even asked her publicly what her opinion on Tae was and this is what she said:

So yap all you want, but there is nothing to criticize her about. If you are there reading her posts, well that's on you. Block her too?

But also, we don't speak for all Jikookers. If you don't like what we say, open your own blog so people scrutinize your every word. You will find how exhausting it is...but not gonna lie, it's fun.

In the end, you r setting jkkrs up. You probably will say that u dont care about what people say and think and blablablabla, which is worrying. How can someone not care about being seen as an anti of a person that their fav loves very much?

I don't care because I'm not going to do something just because Jimin does it. I'm my own person with my own opinions and ideas. Caring about what people say is for someone who is a teenager or someone insecure. But I'm an adult who has gone through some serious stuff in life and I do what I want. People in fandoms move and think in herds. I'm past all that. So yeah, I don't care about setting jkkrs up either. If you want to defend jkkrs or anyone, set up your own blog and fill it up with happiness and butterflies and you will see how hard it is because that's not how real life works. Unless you censor yourself so much that it's no longer you really speaking.

U dont like to be put in a box, but there is a name to people in this fandom that behaves like u, yk? Its called being a solo (or akgae, considering your hate towards tae), and thats what u are

Well, I don't care about this fandom so call me whatever you want. I call myself someone who thinks for having eyes and ears to notice what is pretty obvious, an adult, or simply someone who dislikes someone else. Don't pretend that you love every person you have met in your life, anon. Why should I love all the members in BTS if I don't even like some of my family members? Also, Tae is not the only member I don't vibe with. And I don't even hate Tae. I hate his very obvious behavior.

If I really wanted to hate Tae, I would post all the asks in my inbox of people who agree with my observations. But I try and try not to. But in the end, I do what I want so I end up posting the tamer ones.

So I've addressed your message. If you have a problem with Shaz, go to her but also don't hide under the anonymous button.

And if you have a problem with me, block me. And let me tell you one more thing....

I really don't care.

Thanks for stopping by and thank you for sharing.

[youngpettyqueen]

finished Killing Time today! my edition of the book is the original uncensored version from 1985, and the review is under the cut!

for those who dont know about Killing Time: Killing Time is a 1985 Star Trek: TOS novel written by Della Van Hise, and its famous for having been called back, censored, and re-printed because it was too explicitly gay between Kirk and Spock. I acquired my copy through the power of eBay!

ive heard differing accounts of just how much was censored- ive seen some people say there were over 50 changes, and some people say only 2 pages were changed- so im not sure exactly how much was changed. it would definitely be interesting to compare my copy with later editions. but without further ado, here's my review:

first of all, I loved this book. I loved the story, it kept me hooked all the way through, and I had a very fun time with it. I was thoroughly fascinated by this new universe that was made, the Alliance in place of the Federation, Captain Spock and Ensign Kirk, the much darker and angstier backstories, all of it! it made for some fascinating character study into Kirk and Spock- ESPECIALLY Spock- and Bones. seeing these character im so familiar with, be the same characters they've always been, but like... a bit to the left, and aware of it, made for a fascinating read

the Romulan POV chapters were always a treat, and I loved to see my beloved Romulan Commander again- named Thea in this novel. I also loved Sarela, and the insight she offered into the Romulan Empire, particular her arranged marriage and how she felt about that. Thea being the Praetor was FUN, thoroughly enjoyed seeing her in full command, and how it all fell out from under her in the end. you cant help but feel for her- this was never her plan, but she had to carry it out- and in the end she gets nothing that she wants, no matter how hard she tries to get it. I loved the chemistry between her and Sarela, would love to read more about that duo, they were truly a force to be reckoned with

this novel had two awesome characters who I just adored- Jerry Richardson and S'Parva. Jerry was funny, and sweet, and had a lot of heart. S'Parva was also super funny, and I loved how Van Hise paid so much attention to how a canine woman would operate within Starfleet/the Alliance, and how she would emote and dress, etc. so much thought was put into both these characters, and I find myself wanting for more of both of them. especially S'Parva, who had a fun thing with Christine?? yuri, in my Star Trek novel?? talk to me about S'Parva/Christine come play in my sandbox with me

but to get to what im sure most people want to know: this book is romantic as hell. now, let me be clear: Kirk and Spock are not explicitly romantically involved in this novel. there are, however, several parallels between Kirk and Spock and other romantic dynamics within the text, and their relationship is the driving force of the story. this is very much a "I would know you in any universe, in any timeline" story. it is very difficult for me personally to read their dynamic in this novel as anything but romantic. its touching, its heartbreaking, parts of this book made me want to shriek into a pillow, parts of this book had me physically rolling in my bed. however you interpret the love between Kirk and Spock, it is undeniably the heart of this book

overall, a very good book. it treats the characters with love and respect, and its a good time to read. if youre a Spirk shipper, you will eat well with this one. and if youre not, doesnt matter, you'll have so much fun with the story and the dynamics and the heart. I would highly recommend this book to any TOS fan if you can get your hands on an original edition. I cant speak to the later version, I havent read it, so if anyone wants to talk about that, feel free! the only context I have is for the original uncensored version, which you can either hunt down on eBay, or get really lucky while thrifting

[myflamingredbobsled]

i watched the entirety of he/llu/va boss (censoring so the piranhas dont get me) yesterday w friend and wife mainly so i can get more clarity for when its main series comes out next month.

Viv & brandon are such cowardly writers and creatives. Viv is too stuck in her millennial deviantart fanfic writer mentality and brandon still thinks hes writing for middleschoolers who arent allowed to watch tv unsupervised. Just no evolution from either party. Just feels like the show is made to make each other laugh, and not in a charming way either, especially considering its content.

The humor, while claiming to be "edgy," or "daring," never wants to show its teeth. A lot of things are pulled back, or censored, or not pushed or exaggerated enough to be funny. I can understand that its probably precautionary due to how trigger happy youtube is about that kinda thing, but I feel like a lot of this comes from how unconfident they are with writing in this style, despite it being the main thing they write actively. Its predictable, boring, and done better & funnier through other indie projects even.

The show very much shows its inspirations on its sleeve and not much else. The most i can call it is "eye candy," and thats me trying reallly hard to find something nice to say about it. Theres a lot of obvious writing flaws or misses present in the show. I think it would benefit from a 3rd writer to balance out the dynamic. Obviously, i dont expect professional tier writing, and what theyve accomplished so far is impressive. Thats all anyone says about the project. And i think that says a lot.

All the characters are the same, aside from overt gimmicks. It feels like theyre fans writing preexisting, more complicated characters. Again, very much not confident in what theyre trying to do. Because of this, the characters are not engaging & the emotional aspects fall flat. I dont even really remember most of what happened in it a day later. Just very very lame.

[destinygoldenstar]

Golden Analyzes 2002 Nominees “Ice Age”

*Have Seen Prior*

Starting off the 2002 Oscar Nominees, we’re going in alphabetical order.

We JUST have to watch the first one for this. We don���t have to watch any of the atrocious sequels. THANK GOD.

I’ve seen all the movies. I’m pretty indifferent to their existence. But in terms of objective quality, the sequels are quite shit. BUT the first one I remember being fine.

And I am predicting of the five we have to watch, this one will be the weakest. I mean, when competition is Lilo & Stitch, Spirit, Spirited Away, & Treasure Planet… yeah.

And by the way, unlike last year, I have seen ALL five of these movies before. (My GF hasn’t seen the two spirit movies)

Let’s get going…

Reaction:

Bold is my GF’s words

“I like how the streaming service title screen has the squirrel front and center, which makes me think Scratt is the main character.”

“Oh look it’s the main character!”

“I was always confused why he’d want to put the nut in the ground. Don’t they do that in the spring?” “It’s Ice Age. THERE IS NO SPRING.”

“That’s not how ice works”

“He has nature itself targeting him. Op, you broke our land, now you suffer eternally… Ice Age is secretly hell.”

“They never see him either. He must be a god.”

*You can play extinction later!* “So they’re playing dead?” “That didn’t look like they were playing dead that looked like they were swimming in… not gonna say.”

*Animal falls off the cliff and dies* “How did that get past the censors?!” “Died of stupidity.” “How did that get scripted and animated and no one said ‘hey maybe this implies something and we shouldn’t have it’”

“Oh yeah I forgot about this” “I always feel so bad for Sid. His family abandoned him and does not love him. They came back in the fourth movie just to drop off his grandma cause they didn’t want her either. It’s so messed up.”

*Isnt there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?* *Nope* “That’s depressing.”

“I survived Shrek. I watch Total Drama. It’s grosser than this. I can manage.”

”He’s just like me.”

“Kicks him off.” “😂”

“This is literally just Shrek again.” “Yep.” “Im not saying they’re ripoffs.” “Yeah, considering they get another guy and a baby and theres no women.” “😂 There’s no women?!”

“Oh, Manfred? I thought it was Manny for the longest time. I didn’t know he had a full name.”

“These humans models do not hold up.”

” I just feel so bad for Sid. His family abandoned him. They tied his hands and feet and barricaded the cave door and covered their tracks so he couldn’t find them- THAT IS MESSED UP!!” “…I was just focusing on how he wasn’t even covered by the rain.”

*Scratt Appears* ”Oh hey it’s the main character.”

“Nature HAS to actively be against him. This is secretly Hell. Ice Age takes place in hell.”

*Jumps off the waterfall* “…they’re both dead.”

”They also tame wolves, I don’t think these humans are the good guys. Don’t hurt animals.”

“Because we’re so much more complex and capable of doing whatever, we tend to make a lot of bad choices. Cats for example don’t have existential crises. They just want to roam around and nap.”

“I’m sorry, we’re you expecting me to jump off a cliff?!”

*you’re an embarrassment to nature, you know that?* “😂”

*You two are a bit of an odd couple* *There is no us* “😂 This movie is these three forming a polycule. That’s it. That’s the plot.”

“I just realized how many fat jokes they make with Manny.” “He’s a mammoth. He’s supposed to be that size.”

”Oh this is hell right here.” “Yep.” “Ice Age is hell.”

“This is me with babies. Everyday.”

“…I think I would die if that happened to me.”

“We always quote ‘the last melon’ in our house. All the time.”

“I thought dodo birds were a seventeenth century thing.”

*dodo casually dies* “WHY ARE THRY SO CALM ABOUT THAT?! A DUDE DIED!!”

“This is how the dodos went extinct.”

*unison* “The last melon.” “The last melon.” “😂 I’m sorry I had to.”

*Dodo bites Manny* “I DONT REMEMBER THAT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!” “What?” “The flipping bird went up his anus!” “…he bit his tail. What are you talking about?” “Didnt show it!”

“And then he smashes it.” *smashes it* “Yep.”

“Actually, that was the best thing he could’ve done with that melon.”

”A tree is better than you Sid. A TREE is better than you Sid.”

”Hey look it’s the main character!”

“They CAN see him. Who would’ve thought? Or is it ‘Huh, this invisible force is wrestling my face!’”

“Thats how I sleep.”

“Ooh the eyes.”

“…what?????”

” I don’t like how those lady sloths look…”

“🫣” “WHAT?!” “Excuse me, what?!” “You want to make babies with a guy you just met?!”

*You just keep marinating and I’ll be right back* “🫣” “MARINATING?!” “I don’t want to be here anymore…”

*It’s hard to find a family guy* “THIS HAS TO STOP. How many movies are gonna break me?!”

”Two bros chilling in the hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay.”

“Just breaks his neck and kills him.” “Yeah.”

“Wait is he actually gonna kill him?!”

*I don’t eat junk food* “OOOOOOOHHHHH” “That’s actually a great roast.”

“Why is there a gizzard in the Ice Age?”

*I don’t care who started it I’ll finish it!* “Me and my family in a nutshell.”

“Hey look it’s the main character!”

“If that’s all it takes to cause an avalanche of that size…”

“Oh it’s a museum… a museum of corpses.”

“Uuuuuuhhhh… what??? It’s the Ice Age. Excuse me?”

“Reminds me of something from Ninjago Season 5.”

“Hey look it’s the main character!”

“That looks painful! Grinding your nails on the ice… UGH…”

“Hey look its the main character!”

“That doesn’t look like tag. That looks like something else. And I don’t want to finish that suggestive sentence.”

“Why is that the best scene in this entire movie?”

“I think they completely forget about this in the sequels and never bring it up again. It’s part of the canon that Manny had a wife and kid that were killed.”

“How is there snow if there’s hot lava? It’s hell. There’s no other way. Ice Age is hell.”

“Three bros chilling in the lava, five feet apart cause they’re not gay.”

*Why don’t you make it realistic?* “Why are there so many fat jokes in this movie? My gosh.”

*Hey lovebirds* “😂Come on…”

“Oh god it’s moving. It’s coming to wreck havoc on us all!”

“Hey look it’s the main character!”

“It’s an acorn. How does that work?”

“I think he just killed all of them…”

“Uh… I think that tigers dead since he can’t get out of there.”

“OH… that’s actually a brutal death. We all talk about how gruesome Disney Villain deaths are, but never anything else…”

“…you know that if there weren’t any more sequels, Diego would’ve stayed dead. This was so fitting to end off his story.”

“You just see a giant mammoth holding your baby and you’re just like ‘okay’.”

*I got nine lives* “Yeah, sure. I like you and I wish you were dead.”

*Global Warming* “Yeah! We’re in hell!!”

“Hey look! It’s the main character!”

“I’m sorry, WHAT? Two thousand years?! How’d he even get in ice? What?!”

“How long does this take? How does he not DIE?”

“Okay, I can get it when it was ice, but ROCK-it’s a cartoon, what am I saying?”

“And that’s your confirmation. Ice Age takes place in hell.”

“I can’t believe the main character was barely in the movie. SMH.”

Review:

Ice Age The Movie’s main setting is HELL and I will not be convinced otherwise. This is THE TRUTH BEHIND ICE AGE.

BUT HEY, THSTS JUST A THEORY-

During this movie, me and my GF made these two running jokes. One was that the movie took place in hell, and that the main character was Scratt. Because the main streaming service page where we watched this heavily advertised THE SQUIRREL as the main character. It was funny.

Idk why this squirrel is even in the movie, he serves absolutely zero purpose or relevance to the story at all, but you know what? He is epic and that’s all that matters.

Ice Age is known NOW as the franchise that won’t die, and I’ll bet in ten years it’ll give The Land Before Time a run for its money.

Btw, if you want my opinions on the sequels: I stopped after Collision Course and didn’t see anything after that. And all the sequels are atrocious dumpster fires that add NO value.

Can we go back to the days when this was just one solid film?

Subjectively, as someone who hates babies, I am naturally bias against this movie. I’m kinda half joking. But other than that, this movie is just a very simple story about these three animals trying to get a human baby home, and along the way becoming a polycule-I mean found family.

That’s all it needed to be.

And without all the irritating characters from the sequels, the movie can focus solely on its meme worthy comedy and it’s central characters.

The comedy’s kinda a mixed bag for me personally. You can tell Shrek had some inspiration. It’s that way for a lot of movies. Some bits are memes for a reason. Others kinda had me scratching my head.

“Yeah! Global Warming! We’re all gonna die!! We’re in hell!!”

There’s A LOT more jokes about DEATH than I remembered.

I mean, I never actively cringed at anything like I thought I would, so that’s impressive.

I also think this found family dynamic works. It helps that the movie takes its time to explore all three of these guys and their distinct personalities. I totally buy that they’d bond the way they did.

Diego’s probably my favorite character in the movie. I mean if you don’t count the ironic side of things (SCRATT ALL DAY BABY). I think his redemption was very natural and well built up to, and his sacrifice was decently touching.

If there weren’t any sequels, you know he would’ve stayed dead.

Or not. Kids movie. Idk.

Sid just very casually has this really F’d up backstory and family life and it drove my GF insane a couple of times.

At least in this movie, while he’s not a top tier comic relief character, he was never awful or irritating. I can use those adjectives for a bunch of other comic reliefs.

There really isn’t too much to say about a movie as simple as this. With other movies, there’s more of a psychological thing to talk about in either it’s theming or characters. But this movie’s simplicity is just that blatant. Not saying it’s a bad thing.

And the animation is… well… it’s 2002, whatcha gonna do?

The animation is the ONLY thing that is superior in the sequels. In this first movie these are some very blocky models and some really bland backgrounds. The humans do NOT look right.

The scene where they animate the cave art to tell Manny’s backstory is the highlight of the movie for a reason. At least for me.

Very well done scene where the art style and animation tells the story. No dialogue. No words. You see it and you understand it.

It’s nice when a kids movie respects the kids and understands they can pick this sort of stuff up for themselves. Kids aren’t stupid.

It’s BAFFLING to me that the sequels completely forget about this very vital backstory of Manny’s and never being it up again. BUT I DIGRESS.

What? Is taking death seriously crossing a line? Don’t wanna make the kids sad. That’s not the brain rotting mush you want in sequels.

This first movie is actually a lot darker when you think about it for more than five seconds.

The story is about these starving sabor tooth’s that want to eat a human baby, and then the mother of that baby falls to her death to save him. We witness the dodo’s extinction. And quite possibly one of the most underrated villain deaths in an animated movie in terms of gruesomeness. Like DEAR GOD…

It’s not very chill.

But I appreciate a movie that doesn’t shy away from death as a concept. Again, respectful to the kids who shouldn’t be treated like morons.

I really appreciate this movie’s existence and what it’s done. And I feel SO BAD for Blue Sky.

BUT WHAT ABOUT SCRATT?! THINK OF SCRATT!!

Anyway, continuing with 2002, Lilo & Stitch is our next movie.

#shrek#shrek 1#animation#best animated film#animated movies#dreamworks#dreamworks animation#movie review#movies#reactions#film review

[cheezburgerrr]

Sometimes i think to myself maybe i should’ve never left home when i did and i always wonder what that would’ve looked like and im still curious but i know i wouldnt have so many things like i would’ve never met my partner and all of this i wouldn’t be moving to another state at the end of the year but like

what would’ve been the good parts in staying. i would still have a mother i guess but i mean she’s a horrible person so its good i dont gave her in my life but i guess i still miss her because i miss the presence of a “mother” even though a lot of the time she wasn’t one but the times she was it was really nice but it was always soured whenever i remembered and thought about how she would treat me regularly

just feeling lonely tonight and it sucks that i’ll never truly have a mother ever again and i mean i know my partners mother is there for me and i even call her mum but i just kind of hate the idea of family and her actually replacing my mother. its really weird. i have a really weird relationship with family anyway because its like i dont miss having a family per se but i do at the same times but i find it offputting and jarring to do “family things” like having a family dinner or board game/movie night because we never did those things growing up we would eat in our rooms by ourselves and i just grew up really independent and. i wish i didnt sometimes because i feel like now that im in a relationship im too dependent on my partner and i feel like im not really a person anymore without him

but i know i am because i can function without him but i hate functioning without him i just feel sluggish and like everything is in slow mo and im on autopilot and sometimes i just wish i could go back to my old life because i dont want to be an adult i just wish i was a kid again even though i was being abused i dont know i blocked a lot of it out so i dont even know anymore. maybe it was ok. i dont remember anything about my childhood all i know is i had a dog at one point when i was 3 and then we had to get rid of her because we moved house and we moved houses like a lot when i was a young kid and i still dont know why but we never got any other pets and i wasnt allowed to hang out with our neighbours kids so i had no friends growing up and one time i invited one of the neighbours kids to my house and we played and my mum got really mad at me when she got home (after she left because my grandma told my mum and she forced the other girl to go home) and told me that i would get r*ped i dont know why she said that i was only 8 years old

i hate thinking about my childhood but im not having a very good night and ill be sad if this gets flagged or taken down because im talking but i dont really know how tumblr works and what posts get taken down so im just going to censor some things because im writing these posts for myself while my counsellor is away because i dont remember what i want to talk about a lot and there are some important things i should talk about that i forget about and i think she would probably want to know about this

if anyone out there that isn’t me who is actually reading this i hope you are having a good day or night and thank you for reading everything i have to say. i hope you’re doing well i’m going to try and go to bed now and i hope i can sleep ok

i love you make sure you drink water and know that there is someone out there who cares about you

[lillybean730]

re that last post if you're curious:

i used to run a discord server when i was like 15/16 for people who were anti-m*a*p (censoring bc i dont want this showing up in those places), which in theory is a good thing to be but in practice it was a lot of angry pre-teens/teenagers with trauma and/or a need to find an acceptable target to harass. there was very messy drama almost every day, and i was dealing with an illness that made me drop out of high school so i wasn't in the best place to moderate it. (plus i was - and still am - an under-socialized dog with limited experience in talking to people)

if you're curious as to why i started the server my reason was partly because i wanted a tumblr mutual at the time to be my friend and somehow i thought this was a good idea. (<- stupid) anyway that person ended up being the subject of The Callout for following some l*li blogs or something idr the specifics. i was referenced as the owner of the server she was in and they mentioned some of the other past incidents that happened there. i wasn't named though bc they thought i was incompetent and not malicious or something along those lines i forget how it was phrased. they were right tho and i ended up giving the server to someone else. idk if it even still exists.

i haven't thought about it in years and i don't think anyone from that time even still follows me but i figured i could talk about it while i waited for my meds to kick in. btw this is why i refuse to own or moderate a server ever again. im not built for it and i dont like it.

[angelicpersonals]

Asexuality, Autism, Friendship, Rant

So tell me something am I crazy or does this smell like acephobia? Being told "Kinks are inherently sexual" when you explain your kinks are not and you dont feel any sexual attraction or desire period. Being told "Well I used to think I was asexual but I was just traumatized" constantly in a convo (felt like they were trying to convince me I wasn't. Same convo)

Being told I'm "vanilla" and "boring" or comparing me to a child's maturity for my kinks and sexuality. (again same convo)

Told me they "Walk on eggshells" and that they have to "suppress themselves" JUST because I don't want to listen to peoples s*x life or see full nudity NSFW content.

Literally why do a**holes like this

act like s*x is the ONLY topic in the world to talk about and is some personality trait rather than an act people do for pleasure / fun / love?

Act like ONE person not wanting that overly explicit TMI sh*t in DMS or in the servers THEY RUN means they are being oppressed? Like you don't know how it is having to FIGHT for the right to your boundaries EVERY DAY, JUST because you're asexual and people unsolicited try to force you into things that violate your boundaries then turn you into the bad guy for having them.. when people try to CHANGE your sexuality or erase it because THEY dont think you are because THEY decided this thing or that is sexual and refuse to listen to how its different for YOU. You who should know yourself better than anyone else.

What AM I fine with 1. Tasteful nudity in my servers this mean privates covered like BG3 censors.

2. Sexual jokes in my servers

3. Semi-NSFW jokes in Dms

4. talks about sexuality, even if it might include some talk about s*x if its for the purpose of helping someone figure themselves out ill allow it without a fuss. 5. NSFW Fanfictions

What I AM NOT fine with:

Privates in my servers or my DMS

Talk about someones s*x life in my dms or servers

Explicit talk that goes into TMI territory in my servers or dms where they talk about positions and crap they want to try or find interesting. I dont need to hear that, I dont want to know I have no need to know and its weird to try to talk about that with a friend you know for less than a year.

Other separate issues with the same friend:

Same friend: "I have autistic friends" Then proceeds to always assume sh*t, misunderstand me constantly, get upset at how I communicate, gets upset at me being "childish", patronizing, constantly acting like im a child or "too innocent for the world" Then the same friend: Makes me work my a** off for their trust because they never give a chance and are always looking for flaw, insist im out to get them by assuming im always trying to harm them over the tiniest and stupidest bullsh*t. Like reblogs.

THE SAME FRIEND: Gets in fights all the time, gets kicked from the GC turns on me angry at me for having to kick them when I had more people than I can count on both hands coming to me telling me they felt uncomfortable with the friend. (not the first time I got the complaints) friend assumes they are all out to get them. Same friend: turns and blames their actions on me publicly in that GC before they were kicked when they did it unprovoked after I went to them to just vent / advice, almost harming my friendships.

Honestly im feeling like...

Its hard to be around someone who is so quick to always snap (never apologizes for it either), comes off acephobic and makes me uncomfortable over my own sexuality, comes off inflammatory. Its tiring, draining, and exhausting like an energy vampire.

Once more incident and im honestly breaking it off because i've been patient and understanding as much as I can be. Nothing changes and crap keeps happening over and over again. I don't need yet another toxic person after I took 3 years wiping out the toxicity from my life after 20 years of pure NONSTOP sh*t from birth thanks.

[scrollypoly]

Okay trying this again. I finished reading that document, and im going to try and go over my thoughts and hit all my points again.

This is all just for the main callout being shared, though i have been sent more i am going to read later on. All my knowledge of this is from this document.

EDIT: not seeing the document anymore so im just gonna put a link so anyone can access it and understand why im saying these things about it.

EDIT (march 25): Alex has made a response to this document here

1. The document is a mess, but it does have some points that have credibility and real concern. Im going to hit those first so that no one misses them.

TL;DR: Alex has had inappropriate interactions and relationships with some users in discord servers, some of which are minors. This includes threatening suicide, sharing sexual photos without consent, and having inappropriate parasocial relationships with various users. Alex is shown to be struggling with their mental health greatly and i believe their patterns of that mental health struggle has lead to them seeking comfort and positive interactions from other users, despite the relationship they have to these users as a creator.

If you just wanted to know what the callout was for, there ya go! I read the whole thing and that is a summary of the main credible points of concern that i read. Now im going to go into the messier parts of this document under the cut

2. My trust in this document is unfortunately skewed to not trusting it. The bulk of the first part is centered around the authors romantic relationship with Alex, and what i gleaned from that is really just. Alex is struggling a lot with their (gonna use neutral pronouns because i dont know which ones they would prefer, so if someone lets me know otherwise ill change it) mental health, and that is what lead to the events of that relationship. I understand that struggle greatly, especially with the struggle to break the cycle and find professional help. I honestly really dislike this first part, both parties sounded complicit in the issues of the relationship, from miscommunication to boundary issues. I also do not agree with starting off such a long callout post with your relationship issues, unless it comes down to smth that can be an actual threat to others. A callout post should be for warning others of a dangerous or malicious individual, not for talking about how bad your relationship was, and it tarnishes the credibility of the document by showing immediate reason for a negative bias towards the subject. I dont say this to condemn or fault the author, truly i know what that feels like to be in such a relationship with those struggles and be hurt from it. Something of this intent though just isnt the place.

3. I hate, hate, hate how screenshots are used in callouts and this is exactly why. Almost all of these screenshots are unhelpful; they are either one single message, don't relate to where their postition is in the document, do not support what is being told or shown in the document, or are just unrelated or extraneous to the information we're given. Ive already seen a few people talk about how these screenshots were edited, and while i do think theyre not edited and truthful, i can see where those users are coming from. If you use screenshots in a callout, they need context and more information and actually useful information. Literally, pictures that are presented as evidence are entirely blocked out and censored; why even bother with showing them as evidence?? Some of these dont support your claims and honestly even refute some of your claims.

4. I still believe that this document is transphobic. I dont care about what Alex has said, and honestly i dont really care if they said it was a joke either, as their talk in these screenshots is wishy washy and appeasing at times, and it honestly doesnt matter how Alex identifies. Most of the screenshots that show Alex engaging with their gender identity and presentation have no sexual content or implications in them at all. It is literally just a person engaging in transfeminine clothing and outlets and it is being called predatory. There are a select few near the very end that are sexual in nature and content, but i cannot connect the sexual behavior that is shown to the entirety of Alex's transfeminine experience. Calling transfeminine people, even people that just appear transfeminine and might not be, predatory for simply dressing femininely and engaging with identifying as female is shit behavior to do. You can call Alex out for valid concerns and inappropriate behavior without calling into question the validity of their trans identity and experiences, and maligning their transfeminine idenity. Do that instead of perpetuating transmisogynistic rhetoric.

5. So much of this document is just. Not good. I was honestly about to call the whole thing as bullshit for a bit, because the actual harmful actions are at the very end of a very long document, and there was finally some credible evidence alongside it. If anyone wants to read it for their self, just be prepared for that. But yes, this callout is here for a reason, and shows that some pretty shitty actions had been committed. And, of course, there are other documents and posts now circulating as well. As far as i know rn, Alex has not made a statement. I don't have a Twitter, so that skews my view as well.

Basically. Idk what else to say really. Support those who were hurt by Alex's actions, give the benefit of the doubt to any victims that come out. But also just. Read the information being given, please. Have some responsibility and integrity for the information you spread, and dont just mindlessly share callout posts like this. Know what youre talking about before you reblog callout posts about anybody

Ok, with the whole thing about alex kister rn . . . Begging yall to actually read that callout for once, cuz im only halfway through it rn but it reeks of transmisogynistic bullshit. Especially after what happened to so many transfemmes on this site

[flame-cat]

ok one person liked the post so here is

Raz' Mind

the inside of what looks like a massive oversized aquato dome, piled high with bags of all kinds. the floor is damp and the height of the ceiling makes you feel like an ant. hectic and cluttered.

the first time you see raz is immediately, running around sorting bags to go to certain places in his mind. upon reading the labels, they belong to various people raz cares about- lili, the interns, his family, the psychonauts. there are none belonging to raz himself that he carries. when you find one that has his name on it, he quickly throws it against an ever-growing pile stuck against a wall. the pile looks like its barely holding back a cracked brick wall that is leaking water. when asked about it, raz says he will "get to it later." you can see why- the stack he carries is at least three times as tall as him, and five times as heavy by the way he struggles with it.

if you offer to help, he'll say "really? you dont have to, ive got it handled." if you insist, he'll be extremely grateful, showing you a small pile you can start on. its not as hard as it looks, especially with multiple people. there are many shortcuts you can take as you flit around out of the tent into other areas- layouts of all of the places raz has been. its all surface-level and nothing seems wrong. the only caveat is the lack of other people.

the "raz" pile shudders ominously.

once you go through a pile, raz will thank you and give you an item- the item varies based on how many piles youve gone through. each time you sort through a pile, you need to go back to raz and ask to help again. each time he will thank you profusely, still leaving most of the work for himself. however, once a pile is sorted, another will quickly take its place; a never-ending litany of responsibilities and distractions that raz has to deal with all by himself. there is no end in sight. when asked, raz will say hed rather do this than... and trail off as he glances at his own pile.

if you try to go through the pile labelled as his, he'll quickly stop you, shouting that he can take care of that himself later. if you insist, he will be extremely nervous but say you can if you really want to- before youre suddenly accosted by enemies! hes been holding the censors, doubts, regrets, bad moods, panic attacks, and judgements back so they won't attack you, but this stressor has finally let them all out.

once you clear them out, a leak will spring in the pile. then another, and another. the tent is flooding, and raz is desperately trying to plug the holes. at this point he will finally try getting you to leave, because you "dont need to deal with this." the only sure way to move forward is to take one of the bags in the pile and open it. once opened, youre transferred inside, and you get to see whats really going on in here.

Bag #1: the Beginning

the first bag is the memory of when raz decided to run away. you enter in complete darkness, the only light coming from underneath the tent flap in front of you. you hear muffled arguing. if you go out, you see raz and his dad arguing, mr. aquato holding up a flyer. you hear the argument play out, finishing when Augustus rips apart the flyer, saying "youre no son of mine." raz looks stricken and then runs off into a tent, presumably his own.

if you follow him, you see the inside of his tent. raz quietly tells you how much that rejection hurt him, how he tried to just forget about it and move forward. he shifts aside the entrance flap of the tent and shows you a slideshow of himself alone on the road, desperately searching for the camp and eventually making his way inside.

"i made great new friends. i saved the world. i proved him wrong. he even said he was proud of me. so... why do i still...?"

he closes the entrance, and plunged into darkness, you emerge from the bag.

Bag #2: Pressure

the second bag is more of a rapid-fire collection of scenes. it begins in the rebraining room with ford. hes telling raz hes the only one who can do this. raz looks conflicted for a moment before nodding.

the scene shifts, and now we're outside of the asylum with lili. the building begins shuddering and falling apart. a giant piece falls, rushing forwards to crush the preteens-

raz falls through the darkness into the meat circus. his dad is there, much larger, and the room is flooding. if you go up the ladder, a massive chopping knife almost cleaves you in half, wielded by ollie's massive monster dad. he swings downwards again, the knife obscures your vision-

raz opens his eyes in loboto's laboratory in the rhombus of ruin. the water is climbing, hes still strapped down, and no one else is able to help. the camera zooms out, out, out. hes alone in here. the camera goes up, and you emerge from the water...

now youre in trumans grotto. truman is telling raz that he cant tell anyone about maligula. the scenes only alteration are the puppet strings truman holds tied to raz. the boy nods. the camera turns, going behind truman, and he turns into...

ford cruller, this time at green needle gulch. once more telling raz he's the only one who can help him.

raz turns and sees the deluge. he runs into the forest, narrowly dodging water and heavy objects. raz's voice cuts through the cacophany:

"i know it doesnt matter now, but..."

a hand reaches towards him from a cyclone, yanks him in, hes drowning, hes...

the scene fades to black. raz's voice, again, hesitant and small:

"... i was really scared."

and out of the bag you go.

Bag #3: Judgement

the third bag is small and short. raz is sitting alone in a void, curled up, knees tucked close to his body. he looks very small. in the background are voices, all things hes heard before.

"... only problem was YOU..."

"... wouldnt have FOUND you..."

"... betrayed the family..."

if approached, raz says this:

"i have to be better."

and out you go.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hi! This is my first time requesting so I dont know if this is correct but headcanons of the brothers if the MC asks if they have eaten human meat before?? You can ignore this if your uncomfortable with this, have a great day! :))

I only don't write certain triggering things like sewerslide, self ouchie and forced devils tango - I know these are very non serious ways to censor these sensative topics but I would like to avoid triggering anyone

I know some people just shut down just by hearing it or seeing the word and it's really unfortunate

So yes, I'll take your request!

Warning: food, blood, gore-ish?, eating, teeth, human consumption, hallucinations and angst

It was dinner; you were having a fatty steak with garlic bread and a creamy seasoned sauce that the meat was cooked in and chewy dough balls filled cheese. The brothers wanted a meat dish and it was your turn to cook so you got human world ingredients to give everyone what they wanted.

You weren't sure what was eating at you. For the past few days stress as been at an all time high! You've become irrationality emotional to every situation which didn't help as you were experiencing mini hallucinations and continuous tricks on the eyes.

You hoped cooking and getting your mind off whatever was happening around you would help but it seems to be a futile attempt.

You set the table, making sure to add extra vegetables for asmo and levi. As soon as dinner was announced all the boys came trampling through the halls to reach the table first, Beel beating them by already being at the door. He was waiting there feeling himself drool whilst you cooked. Once everyone was seated you smiled, taking your seat and began to eat.

Your appitete diminished the more you chew. Finding it to be unfufilling. Your stomach felt like a void and the food only made that feeling more present. You poked at your food with a growing frown.

You heard a fleshy squelch.your eyes flickering up to see Satan; his sharp teeth sinking into the steak. He easily ripped it apart letting any sauce from the meat drip down his chin. For most of the demons it was medium rare; blood mixing in with the sauce. You could still see pink on the inside. When he bit into it it looked so soft with left over blood forming at the bite.

It was so fleshy. For a moment the steak slice turned into an arm. Just a slice of human flesh; his fangs ripping into it as if it was nothing. Apart of your arm ached just from the sight.

You shook your head, rapidly blinking. You hesitantly looked back up and it faded back to normal. These kind of hallucinations were popping up more often; you were terrified. It was putting you off food because you couldn't stop seeing it as something disgusting.

Asmo raised his voice, a sound of a knife stabbing down on a plate following it. You looked to see he stabbed the space between Beels fingers as he tried to steal a dough ball. But that didn't stop him, curling a finger around it and quickly detracted his hand. His brother huffed chomping down his vegetables.

Your eyes couldn't leave Beels figure; it was as if you had to see what he was doing.

Once again your eyes focused on the teeth. Beels fangs were the biggest out of Everyone meanwhile Satan's were long and thin. Levi's teeth reminded you of a shark. Mammons were like a cat with the focus on his top fangs. Asmo's teeth were the most human, reminding you of a vampire. Lucifers teeth were like Satan's but not as long. Belphegor was similar to his twin brother.

Your tongue poked along your smooth teeth. A few bumps here and there and the little prick from your canines. It was nothing compared to them.

Time seemed to freeze as his teeth sank into the ball. It squished with the juices from the cheese and the sauce forming on the flesh- flesh? It wasn't flesh. No it was dough. You held back a scream when you saw an eye replace the dough ball. You immediately snapped away your gaze.

"(Y/N), You haven't been eating."

All of them looked at you. Noticing how little was eaten on your plate. You could see the concern on their faces but your brain slowed. The words leaving your mouth before you even realized it.

"Have any of you eaten a human before?"

The air became thick. It made you choke, a knot forming in your throat as you stared at your plate. Waiting for their answer. Hoping they'll answer. Why aren't they saying anything?!

"That's an unpleasant question, what's prompted this?"

You wanted to say you weren't sure but then memories flashed before your eyes. The threats you've gotten from Beel, asmo telling you're delicious after nipping your skin, mammons stomach suddenly growling after hiding his head in your skin. This what has been bothering you.

You were frightened - no terrified you were going to end up on this table. Striped and ready on a silver platter for them to dig in. Would they do it whilst your alive? Desiring to feel you squirm between their teeth or would they be merciful? Killing and cooking you. A Morbid part of you wished they made you into a good meal if they did that; to not let your body go to waste and mean nothing other than something to tear into.

You felt sick. Your stomach churning the more you thought but you couldn't shut off your brain.

"Just.....curious, you're demons afterall so I thought it would make sense."

All of them were uncomfortable. They knew what they've done in the past and some in the more recent times. But what is recent and past to beings who've forgotten time? Where procrastination could last centuries and no one would bat an eye. What was hundreds years for humans could feel like a week to them.

"I'm going to tell them-" Belphie piped in but immediately got shut down by his brothers.

"don't ya dare even utter another word, you can't frighten them like this-!"

"Are you crazy?! They're never going to want to be around me again!"

"Don't be disgusting, this shouldn't even be a topic we talk about right now!"

"Keep your damn mouth shut."

"You'll frighten them, they already look unwell."

"That's enough, all of you, you're not doing anything to soothe-"

"Would you eat me?!" You suddenly stood up, looking at all of them with an expression of fear and determination.

They just stared at you absolutely stunned by your question.

"No way! We wouldn't do such a thing to you! We care too much about ya to do something like!"

"so if I didn't mean anything would you eat me? Atleast give me some comfort and tell me you'd kill me before you did it-!"

But none of them could give you that comfort. They knew they eat it with their prey still crying and thrashing for their lives.

"You don't need to worry about such a thing, you're going to experience no harm from us or anyone in the Devildom, we've made sure of it."

You shook your head. "Just answer my questions! If you're innocent then you'll just be able to say no! So do it! Say no!"

"We've all eaten a human but since the exchange program was planned we were banned from doing it - we've lost the taste for human flesh or... atleast I have."

His eyes skimmed over his brothers faces, lingering on the ones he knows still hunger for it.

"I think I need to take a break from here....…just need to get away-"

Your voice trailed off, your vision becoming fuzzy. Their faces contorted and stretched into monstrous beings. You stumbled back before your eyes rolled back, your body falling to the floor.

"(Y/N)-!!!"

When you finally woke up you weren't in the house of lamentation. Simeon crouched beside you, placing a damp towel on your cheek. You whined at the cold feeling; it made your burning skin sting.

you weren't sure how or when you got here. The angel helped you slowly lay down, caressing your skin.

"It's okay, Solomon will be back soon, Diavolo said it'll be best you go back home for a little while, don't worry I'll be sure to visit."

You nodded, your head feeling like a sack of bricks balancing on your neck. You let your eyes close as Simon kept brushing the towel on your exposed skin. Humming an unfamiliar tune.

[floralcalaveraa]

MEET THE MUSE

Rules: Answer in-character. Repost, don’t reblog.

► NAME ➭ He waves around proudly at the imaginary crowd his mind conjured, assuming a performance that one would put up when live on camera for an interview. Typical Guzma, thinking that he is all that, but he is not. “Hey y’all~” He says with a chipper, sing-song voice to continue convincing ... the dashboard? “Clean the wax outta yur ears; I’m only gonna say this once and I expect chu to say the WHOLE fucking thing when you call me. It’s Guzma Kehlani Kaliko- I’m joking.” The emotion in his performance stops abruptly at the end and he acts like normal again. But then again ... when was he ever normal? His voice is modest now. “Just keep it up to Guzma.”

► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ Guzma doesn’t hold back on widening his eyes upon registering the question and emphasizes the reality of his words when he curls a curl on his finger and bats his eyes, pretending a coy nature. “Yeah~ So if anyone out there single too and you want a good sex, come on down; my number is-” And then a convenient beep censors the sound of his voice because Guzma is doing too much.

► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ “Hmm, I’m aight right now. Is not like ... I’m going through anythin ...” He asks himself, looking at the sky for an answer. “Or am I?”

► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭ “Who isn’t? I know I am. Like, when’s a rich white guy gonna give me all his money ya know? Those fucking billionaires don’t know how to spend it, like, give me your money I’ll show you.”

► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ All that talk from earlier? That magic disappears. Guzma falls silent for a moment, but tries to salvage his enthusiasm from earlier. “Weeeeeeeeeeeell ... they never married to begin with? Yeah, very telling of their relationship, ya know?” ‘I don’t want them to ever marry. That is not love, I wouldn’t attend to it should it ever happen.’

NINE FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ “In. This. Stupid. Region. Called. ALOLA!” Each word came with a jumping stomp to the ground, like if this tantrum would make the region he chanted out loud crumble in his stomps.

► HAIR COLOR ➭ He grabs a strand of his hair, stretches it out, and watches it recoil back to its original curly condition, feeling a bit shy to divulge. “It’s ... it was my daddy’s hair color. I didn’t like that. So I colored it to look like my mami’s ...”

► EYE COLOR ➭ “A stupid fucking grey. Can you believe that? Not even the universe wants me to own anythin’ gold like damn give me a fucking break.”

► BIRTHDAY ➭ “...” He remains silent, connecting the dots about this scheming universe. “Y’know, this life really doesn’t want me to be first in anything; July 2nd.”

► MOOD ➭ “Now that I made that realization, I’m feelin’ pissed.” Guzma says with a relative ‘ :-) ’ expression and relaxed voice.

► GENDER ➭ “A guy, wish I was a God though or somethin ...” A hand grabs his chin lightly, but pensively. “Or a bug ...”

► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “OOOh summer’s are sexy! Ya feel me?”

► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “I know I’m gonna sound like a cheesy old white lady but like, watching the sunset be kinda romantic tho-”

ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ “I either hate or love the people in my life. Never in between-”

► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “Oh that’s fucking cute, yeah. It only exists to the right people though, not bitches like me.”

► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ Who ended his confidence? This question. It’s going to make him mention Her name. Her. And that scares him. Madam Prez. He sinks into his chair in shame. “I ... I’m the one that messes up.”

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “Yeah, I’m a real heartbreaker~” But his pride ends when he is left at the thought of the  loneliness that comes after break-ups.

► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ “... Yeah.” It is brief, in fear that entertaining it more would make him reveal the reasons why. After all, he wouldn’t want to bad-mouth Lusamine, no matter how vile she was to traumatize love for him.

► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ “No because then they’ll smell my b.o ya know?”

► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ “Not that I know of ... I don’t know-”

► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ “I guess ... I know that there were times I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying ‘I love you’ to someone ...”

CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ “Lust hell yeah 😎” Love.

► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ “I don’t give a fuck I just crave a refreshing drink right now; all this talking and answerin’ invasive, personal, intimate, scar-opening questions to a complete stranger has my throat all dried up like yo sex life.” Giving drawn out answers does nothing to help.

► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ “I have my stinky siblings at Po Town. Sure they can be annoyin’ as fuck eatin’ my food, wasting water, stanking up the bathroom, wasting money, leaving the house messy, and all that, but I wouldn’t want them any other way.”

► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ “Aw c’mon! Both are sexy! ... Aight, the one that will end with me gettin’ laid- ...” He sighs. “Aight, the one that would get me to know my companion better.”

► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ “I like to feel dramatic in the night. Like, ‘staring out from the window, musing about yo regrets and desires while seeing nobody but chu outside thinking about yo life’ kind of dramatic.”

HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ “Apparently not cuz my parent’s ain’t find me yet haha!”

► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ “’Falling up the stairs’ sounds like some Loony Toons shit if I’m honest- Just imagine, you falling down the stairs, but then rewind it to make it look like you fell upward. Lol.”

► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ A hand grabs at his chest, at his heart, as he yells at the top of his lungs, “GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY!!” Stability. Love. Healing. Those he had to let go in fear of having them punished by Lusamine. Honor. Respect. Freedom. And in truth, money, to support his family.

PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ “Oh I love both; a smile in someone that doesn’t do it often though. And eyes, those that are gold, blue, or green are pretty ...”

► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ “Ain’t nobody gonna beat me and my 6′9″ ass. ‘Sides, I love my shorties anyways.”

► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “Attraction. Not askin’ anyone to be smart in order for me to like chu-”

► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “I only get casual hook-ups, night-stands ... C’mon, just look at me-”

FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ “Talkin’ bout the one in Po Town? Yup.” He nods proudly, not acknowledging his biological one.

► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “Baby, I got a fucked up life-”

► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “Yeah. Best decision I ever made or else I wouldn’t find the real family I have now.”

► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “I kicked my own ass out before my daddy did.”

FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “Ooh that Plumeria, I can’t stand her! Her big butt be hogging up the whole sofa when we watchin’ t.v! Do you understand how irritatin’ that is?!” Seconds after this ‘wrath’, he bursts into laughter.

► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “No because they are talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, sexy friends.”

► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “Oh come on don’t make me pick n choose- Plumeria and Gemali (his Golisopod) has been my longest, how about that?”

► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “Oooo it’s just me, myself, and I baby- Ain’t nobody gonna understand my twisted mind better than I.” Can be deciphered by Plumeria or Lusamine.

tagged by: @obliviouskind​ wrow cryus, having a spot for love .. u know cyrus if u say josefina’s name 3 times she will appear easy as that

tagging: @maxskulline​ , @akuromatico​ , @kyohansha​ (me🤝erik: making you do this twice. BUT OKAY SRSLY U DONT HAVE TO ONLY IF U WANT-) , @unovasgambler​ , @theprxfessorpair​ (hemlock!) , @draconscious​ , @littlesilverplatinum​​  (me🤝myself, hand-gripping my other hand: making you Erik do this twice.)

[classicaltrashical]

Okay I'm not pro-bakugou, but I'm not an asshole that's going to sh*t on you for liking him, but here are some reasons on why I really dont understand people shipping BakuDeku or liking Bakugou Katsuki in general. Not hating on you just stating some canon facts. By the way I tried to censor myself but I just stopped because I got so frustrated with the amount of abuse that Bakugou got away with in just the first few chapters of the manga.

1. Bakugou is abusive towards Izuku both physically and emotionally.

1. The first freaking page of the manga starts out with Bakugou punching Izuku (while probably using his quirk).

2. Page 12 of the first chapter Bakugou slams his hands onto Izuku's desk and uses his explosion to the point it blasts Izuku out of his desk.

- Also note Izuku's body language he is trying to be as small as possible because he already is acclimated to this treatment. He is also seen trying to be as small as possible.

3. Page 15 Bakugou destroys Izuku's notebook (destruction of property).

4. Page 16 Bakugou burns Izuku's shoulder. From the looks of this and Bakugou's attitude towards Izuku this appears to in some way be a common occurrence. Because obviously this is NOT the first time he burned Izuku.

5. Page 17 Bakugou tells Izuku and I quote from the VIZ My Hero Academia Volume 1 10th Printing September 2019 "You wanna be a hero so bad? I've got a timesaving idea for you. If you think you'll have a quirk in your next life... go take a swan dive off the roof!!" After this Bakugou makes small explosions on his palm in a threatening way and Izuku left in the classroom shaking in fear. Even his friends tell him that he went too far.

6. Of course you have the name Deku. Which when used in the context that Bakugou does in the anime means Defenseless Izuku and also uses it as the abbreviation of Dekunobou which roughly translates to "good for nothing."

7. In the flashback of Izuku and Bakugou after getting praised by their principal(?) Bakugou basically grabs Izuku by the collar of his uniform and shoved up against the wall all because Bakugou was jealous and mad that he was not the first and only student to go to U.A. from their middle school and mad because he thought Izuku was hiding his quirk all this time.

2. Izuku is still traumatized.

1. I've hinted at this above, but I don't think I would allow someone with a quirk that makes them sweat a nitroglycerin-like substance to put their smoldering hand on me. Seriously just that scene makes it clear that Bakugou has used his quirk to either frighten Izuku or to injure Izuku.

2. When going in for the entrance exam on page 2 of the third chapter Izuku is shown to turn away from Bakugou and appears to be even more nervous then before.

3. Izuku also thinks to himself about how he has to "stop flinching instinctively." Guys he flinches away from just hearing and/or seeing Bakugou. If you think this can become a healthy and stable relationship......??? Also a few pages after when everyone is gathering around their assigned testing locations someone says "he flinches at the slightest touch" after Iida grabs his shoulder.

- If you think that is freaking natural someone watching that unfold already freaking knows it's not f u c k i n g natural for some to be terrified of another person grabbing their shoulder when they even see the person performing the act. Startled perhaps, but not the way Izuku flinched. Once again in this scene (and like most throughout the first volume) Izuku tries to make himself smaller than he already is by tucking his chin towards his chest and looking away from Iida (who by the way is trying to meet Izuku's eye.) Izuku is so used to being physically abused by his peers that he flinches on contact.

4. Before entering the 1-A classroom for the first time Izuku prays that neither Bakugou or Iida would be in the same class and depicts Bakugou in a pretty demonic way.

5. After the meeting with the principal(?) Izuku instinctively raises his arms to try and block any explosions near his face.

6. After Izuku uses OFA through one finger in Aizawa's assessment test Bakugou is furious and when Izuku sees his barreling towards him he screams in fear. And guys this must be the first time someone has actually STOPPED Bakugou from tormenting Izuku because the look on Bakugou's face is pure shock. Meaning in the years (probably near a fucking decade) nobody has stopped anyone from bullying Izuku. Like that says it all, doesn't matter if you're pro-Bakugou or not Bakugou traumatized Izuku because his abuse and torment went from when they were just little kids after finding out Izuku was quirkless to right after the Sludge Monster.

Do I need to continue into Volume 2 with the whole Bakugou versus Izuku fight? But I will say this...

Izuku has started to heal.

As the manga and anime continue Izuku stops flinching everytime someone calls his name or touches him. He stops raising his arms to block a blow that won't come. He stops trying to sink in on himself. I think the best comparison of this is when Izuku first "raises" his hand in the first chapter to the one during Ectoplasm's math lesson where he stands up confidently and gives an answer.

But healing doesn't erase the past. Healing mentally doesn't erase physical scars (once again it is pretty obvious that Bakugou used his quirk on Izuku.)

Not to mention Bakugou has yet to confront what he did to Izuku. Hell he hasn't even changed much. The only change he did was not always call people somewhat derogatory names instead of their actual name. Don't give me that shit of "well he was kidnapped and felt guilty over All Might's retirement." That's just making a fucking excuse about why he should be forgiven. Was he held against his will for almost a fucking decade? No it was a handful of days and who got him out? Shockingly, but sadly not shockingly the one he decided to torment for years. Don't give me that shit about how apparently being a kid gets you out of trouble. Sure some of it was when he was a kid, but want to know something people age. Hell by the time he told Izuku to kill himself he would have been 14 and most likely almost 15. Which means he should have fucking known better! The only actual excuse I will allow to somewhat slide is the fact that as mentioned AIZAWA SHOTA WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST ADULT TO STOP BAKUGOU FROM HARMING IZUKU! Meaning every fucking adult that saw the way Bakugou acted didn't do jack shit which meant he was raised in a toxic system for years being told what he was doing wasn't something worth being punished for. But still Bakugou should have known better.

The fact that Izuku idolizes Bakugou shows how toxic even this "friendship" is. He is literally idolizing his abuser. And yeah Bakugou is an abuser sure he can be called a bully and a tormentor but he is an abuser. "A person who treats another person or animal with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly"- the fucking Oxford definition of abuser. I mean repeatedly throughout the series Izuku talks about how he has come to view Bakugou as an image of victory.

You want a character to be dating his past abuser? You really want that? I don't give a shit if you write a "they have a talk about their past" before they start dating in your story.

The fact that Bakugou's abuse and the trauma it did to Izuku hasn't been talked about yet in canon is also something that angers me a bit (hopefully Horikoshi has something planned for this). Because it's obvious from their fight during finals and their fight after the provisional license exam that they need to at least talk about it. And then get them both into fucking therapy because yikes they both need it.

And I do not fully agree with Bakugou being forced out of the Hero Course (as some people do), but at least some temporary removal. Mainly put him on probation for a while. Because I believe there are rules in Hero Society that prohibit even middle schoolers from using their quirks against someone(? Right these exist?)

Also if you think for one fucking second that Bakugou did not abuse Izuku and having them in a relationship is not toxic go read the manga and watch the anime both from the beginning because you are missing some cues.

I know that this is was supposed to be about why I don't see how people can ship this and it turned into a rant. I never really care about what other people ship but just think about this. I wrote this mainly because I have seen some people around saying that anti-bakugous overexaggerate and say that Bakugou want not an abuser when ah clearly he is. Like I could go onnnnnnnnn about how much damage Bakugou did to Izuku. We aren't exaggerating you just need to go back to the beginning and see how shitty Bakugou treated Izuku.

If you want to make an argument about how Bakugou is a good guy and how he has learned and changed and it's all good now come @ me I have volumes 1-23 and the other manga chapters on stand by and my Hulu is up and ready.

Not actually looking for an argument but I could have made this post longer but it's now almost 8am I haven't slept a wink and I'm tired.

[mikkaeus]

fics across fandoms that i have reread >2 times that are >40k words:

(as you can maybe tell i am currently drowning in nostalgia) ((ok this is long as shit and no one’s gonna read it but does anyone remember the destiel fic a room of one’s own???))

merthur: lost count, would still reread: the student prince, the wasting game lost count but would probably not reread to the end now: pianos are made for falling, we are all diamonds lost count how many times i attempted to finish this series but always stalled before the end because it’s 1.3 million words and i always had to read it from the start each time: loaded march. i think i made it to like.. 700k the last and final time.

hp: here’s the pencil, make it work (drarry, ~4x), if them’s the rules (lost count. harry & tom riddle (platonic). the only wip here & the only one without a main romantic pairing. i’ve kept up with this for 6 years now. 200k words, stalled at 41/83 chapters that started in 2011, updated a little over a year ago. if it an update comes out ill cry)

johnlock: saving sherlock holmes (lost count), nature and nurture (~3x)

mdzs (exception: these are all n=2 and 20-40k mainly bc newer fandom + active author community on twitter resulting in it being easy to find many excellent fics, so im more inclined to cut down my tbr than reread): the montreal trip (sxx), attempting the impossible (wwx&jc), hunters seeking solid ground (wangxian)

honorary ments for extremely memorable fics: - a room of one’s own (destiel... the last time i read this would be nearly 6 years ago jesus. why do i remember so much of it. the wings. the car. the frolicking bunnies. cas lowering his blood pressure too much and nearly passing out. weapons grade denial and miscommunication. it really had it all.) - stop my heart by wowoashley (taek00k) (don’t ask. though if anyone knows/remembers the drama im all ears bc i remember one time i got super obsessed with trying to figure out what happened w/this author but now ive forgotten again) - fucking beijing (i cant remember the actual title) (merthur. i am still in love with this. all-time favourite under 20k.) - alone in the water (johnlock. was this the first time i ever cried reading fic???) - that one sterek fic where stiles is a broke college student and he makes meals in tupperwares for derek for $$. (i actually read quite a few sterek fics in like 2014 but none of them made that much of an impression on me) - codename MONSTER (chanba3k (EXO). eternal wip i believe. this was in 2017? i was so enamoured with this universe that i offered to beta (another fic) for the author so theyd write faster. that’s when i found out that perfectionism combined with a lack of imagination does not mix very well with beta-ing.

(censored the kpop ones bc i dont want to draw the attention of rabid fourteen year olds)