#cause you might have seen it on my fusion blog

[system-of-a-feather]

is there anything you wish youd known about DID-specific therapy before you started? sorry if thats weird or vague, i just finally have a therapist that treats DID and im both nervous and relieved about it, so i guess im just wondering if you have advice as someone who has made so much progress with your own DID

God yeah there is a lot honestly. Like there are a lot of general rules of thumb that I've seen get mentioned here that I can say are usually really good things I found to be mostly true in my experience like

Persecutors are frequently demonized and they can be INCREDIBLY hard to work with, but they are incredibly important, often are parts that are capable of having the most growth and tend to add the most to the system once you figure out a good way to communicate and work with them; that said, don't push anything you aren't capable of handling, if they are being too much, safety first; just remember that they're probably some of the best allies you can have should you make things work with them; there is little stronger bonds - both between parts and as a whole - formed when you can befriend and trust someone / the part of you that you've always hated / avoided. Loving persecutors is self love and self love is important for healing

While keeping track of your parts can be helpful, try not to obsess and fixate on trying to find all the parts and figure out when and where everyone came from. It can become overwhelming (especially if you have a lot of parts), you might find parts and things you aren't ready to deal with if you try to look too hard, and it can take away from the important processing, bonding, communication, and present issues you might be facing as a whole

Its okay to relapse on maladaptive behaviors, especially if it keeps you safe and/or from relapsing or starting potentially more risky / dangerous / harmful maladaptive behaviors. Two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress so try not to be hard on yourself. Struggling and fumbling is part of recovery, you aren't bad, or wrong, or uniquely "broken" or anything for struggling through recovery. Recovery is just fucking hard and engaging with it at all is a really amazing and powerful thing.

Integration =/= Fusion. Integration is just improving and increasing the communication, connectivity, and fluidity of information and coordination of parts. Integration is inherent in any form of DID treatment.

On top of that, I think some of the ones I don't see talked about as much would be...

Splitting, while often assumed to be a negative thing and a result of trauma (true and sometimes!), can be very healing when you look at it from a larger lens. This isn't to say that you should want to split or seek to make new alters as a coping mechanism, because I'd probably say in most situations that is probably not healthy. This is more so saying that if your brain wants to / needs to / does split, its okay to just let it happen. Trying to actively prevent splits can cause a lot of emotional / trauma overwhelm and risk crisis states and honestly, sometimes its easier to deal with two (or more) contained and stable parts than it is to deal with one complex and unstable part. Likewise, sometimes it is easier to be two (or more) contained stable parts than it is to exist as one complex and unstable part. Splitting sometimes - and often is - a mechanism to maintain stability and keep life for all parts within a relative "window of tolerance" that you can function in. Splitting isn't a moral failure or a recovery failure or anything special. Splitting is just part of the journey of recovery and a lot of people split after they start recovery cause it can be a pretty hard thing to go through. You aren't alone if this happens and it is just part of the process and journey.

Similar to that and something that we've been talking on this blog a lot and trying to spread...

Fusion does not have to be a final thing. Fusion does not have to be a huge and notable event. Fusion can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours, to a few months, to forever depending on what works for you. If a fusion isn't working for you or isn't sticking, your brain will likely re-split and if it doesn't, you can always actively try to undo it and we've done it multiple times pretty successfully. Fusion ALSO isn't anything special, it's something that just happens. Fusion and splitting are two sides of the same coin and really aren't anything as permanent or anything that carries any inherent value to it beyond what it means to you as an individual / whole.

And probably one of the things that I was the most astonished by

You don't actually have to process all your trauma to be at a place with your DID where you are considered to be "in remission" or to even reach functional multiplicity / final fusion. A lot of the meat of DID-focused therapy and recovery and improvement to life is not as much in the trauma processing as much as it is in the stabilization period; that is just to say, the main meat of growth, recovery, and improvement is found by working with your parts to establish an internal support system, internal trust with one another, and deeply getting to know each of the parts. Of course, trauma processing will happen along the way, but you can get EXTREMELY far with recovery simplly by focusing on the stability of the system, how you each support and communicate and coordinate with one another, and dealing with the trauma topics that come up in the immediate present. A good way to think about it is that the stabilization period is essentially creating a strong foundation and a strong base so that you feel secure and confident navigating basic day to day life with a lot of internal love and support and the trust that you and your parts can support eachother through a SHIT ton of stuff. If you can develop an internal relationship with your parts and your system that is very strong and built on trust and care, then dealing with trauma and adversities become WAY easier. Thus it can be a lot easier to postpone any heavy trauma processing that is not actively relevant and actively necessary to help improve internal relationships until AFTER you have a stronger and more secure realtionship with your parts. Thus I would suggest focusing on the present issues, the things parts are feeling and experiencing in the moment, and addressing those rather than trying to uncover every secret and trauma that you may or may not remember. If the trauma is something you are ready to deal with and it's relevant, your brain will bring it up when the time is right. Trust your brain thats protected you thus far and kept you alive thus far to let you know things when you are ready to know it, but also don't be afraid to ask parts for help if it does share more than you are ready. That's just to say - Don't Dig for information you don't want to know, but if something comes up that you don't feel equipt to deal with, its completely okay to seek internal or external help to try leave it behind. Again, especially early on, the focus should be on stabilization rather than trauma processing.

And just a little small one about online spaces and what not, but try not to worry too much abotu whether your experiences with the disorder align with others, or if you look "fake" or what not. A lot of recovery will look like things people who don't know better would think is "impossible with DID" and online spaces tend to be a place where a false image of what things "should" look like is kind of developed. Whatever you experience is what you experience and is inherently a real and true experience. Don't try to force yourself to fit into the expectation and boxes of others as it will often slow down your progress.

[fangirltothefullest]

[cyraspace01]

Debunking Certain Myths About Plurality

Edit: We'd like to thank @altercourses for correcting some of our misinformation and providing sources, and since then have corrected some things, we are very sorry for the misinformation.

1. Every system has a headspace/innerworld

Nope! Actually, it's quite normal not to. When you find a professional who specializes in helping patients with DID & OSDD function, they actually have practices for creating or finding your headspace. This can be done with a professional, or by yourself with caution. And also, headspaces and innerworlds aren't special to those who are plural, anyone can have one. It's just more common for us so our headmates have places they can go when they aren't fronting.

2. Every system is medically recognized as overt or covert

Yes...But no. Overt and covert labels can be very harmful actually, and aren't use by professionals, they were mostly picked up by the community. That isn't to say they are wrong or bad, but medical professionals do not see a system to be overt or covert, very obvious, or not obvious, it's not that simple to them.

But these labels have been seen to be helpful or interesting by the community, and in that, there is no harm.

3. OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A are medical labels

Actually...No. OSDD-1B and OSDD-1A are not medical labels or terms, in fact, these two aren't even in the DSM, they were later named and found by the OSDD community to differentiate different ways of osdd presenting. As you know, OSDD means Other Specified Dissociative Disorder, otherwise known as a dissociative disorder that may not catch all the symptoms of DID but is pretty close. It is a catch-all. Although the DSM does not ever state OSDD-1A or OSDD-1B, the DSM does give 4 examples of what OSDD can look like. Two of the 4 are what have been named.

So, no, it is not necessary to think or say you have OSDD-1B or 1A, If these labels and distinctions make you feel comfortable go ahead, but others should know, these really aren't important to anyone but the OSDD haver themselves.

The DSM itself.

4. DID & what counts as amnesia

You do not need to have full blackouts like media says to qualify for DID, these things actually aren't as common as they may sound amongst DID havers. Here's a great video about what dissociative amnesia can look like if you think you experience it.

Edit; I had quite the misinformation here, there has been a wonderful reblog you can find on my blog made my @/altercourses please go read it they corrected and made some very important points I would not like to copy and discredit to them!

5. Only certain traumas can result in having DID/OSDD (sexual abuse, physical)

Well...No. That isn't true and the DSM does not inherently ever state that those are the only way an unstable sense of self with parts can exist. The only thing it ever states is if it is long-term childhood abuse, that could cause this disorder to happen. Long-term abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, can come from natural disasters, troubles at birth, etc.

6. You can't be aware of being a system on your own

Ah...You see, making this claim doesn't really make sense to me. That's like saying people with psychosis can't be aware that they are experiencing a delusion, or people who feel depressed for a long amount of time cannot recognize that they have chronic depression. While the popular claim of people do not realize that they might have DID or OSDD until they are well into adulthood or in their 30s is not false, It's fairly common and normal to suspect yourself of having a disorder even if others don't suspect it first, you know yourself better before anyone else does, and just because DID/OSDD is supposed to be hidden from everyone not just including but especially for the host, it's very possible.

7. You always know who's fronting or who you are

Perhaps this is true in some people, that's totally cool! But it's normal and perfectly fine to be blurry or not be able to put names or labels to yourself sometimes. It doesn't need to be this way, let's erase the stigma of this. The Rings System has some great videos on this.

8. Fusion and integration are the same

We must look at what integration and fusion actually mean. Integration means bringing down the dissociative barriers and things that separate the system, making it easier to work together and bring everyone closer together, but this has nothing to do with becoming one! Just improving communication and functioning together. It can sometimes even seem like you are on the same wavelength, which is good.

This often gets mistaken with fusion. A lot of people with plurality say they do not want to integrate, because they mistake integration for fusion! Fusion is actually what you're thinking of. Fusion is the practice of bringing all parts and fragments together to make the failed self at childhood, a whole one person.

While some systems find that fusion, or just merging some parts together is their goal, other systems work towards integration and communication instead, and the professional you're working with should have a positive mindset on both if you work with one.

It's very normal for systems to want to be more distinct or work on themselves separately, or work on getting along as a collective instead of wanting to be one.

9. Endogenic systems are an excuse for hardcore, or no double, "kinnies"

System ≠ kinning. We are not the same, of course, you can be both, but being a system is different. No system I have ever met has not been alright with seeing someone similar to them, or the fictives I know have no issue with seeing another fictive of their source, and if they do, they usually handle it respectively. You are talking about a specific person or a very small amount of people here, and I promise you all plural people don't operate that way, although I do not doubt that it does look like a fine line to the average person.

Also, kinnie can be very offensive to otherkin and therian people, please, let us not use this term regarding those people, or systems.

I tried to list sources for some of my most important claims, but if you want sources for other things, or you believe something is wrong, do not be afraid to correct us on it or send us an ask!

As always,

The (White) Sakura System 🌸

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey Steph, really adore your blog. I saw your ask about s3 and s4 John and his anger. do you have any pics that deal with that? I think his anger is caused by his jealousy. he loves Sherlock and is deeply insecure about S's love for him. I'd love to find some fics that actually deal with all of that. thank you. x

Hey Nonny!!

I DO!!! Been waiting for another ask to finally get this list up and out! Hope you find something you enjoy on this one! <3

ANGRY / CRANKY JOHN

See also:

Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2 

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3 

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4 

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

And, Usually, He's the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) –  “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John's bedroom is now a research library. It's not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They're friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it's not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It'll be fine.

Those Days by StillWaters1 (T, 2,663 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD / Sensory Attacks, Caring Sherlock) – If Sherlock had danger nights, then these were John's danger days.

Extraordinary by ardenteurophile (T, 2,739 w., 7 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Romance, Second Person POV Sherlock, Pre-Slash) – Sherlock tries to understand his preoccupation with one Doctor John Watson - the one case he can never solve.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company' by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It's a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w., 1 Ch. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John's conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn't seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can't tell what's real and what's not. How will Sherlock react?

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

This Year by DiscordantWords (T, 6,283 w., 2 Ch. || TEH Divergence / No Mary, New Year’s Eve, John’s A Mess, Jealous John, Awkward Conversations, Trapped in a Closet, Estranged After Return, John POV, Semi-Reunion, Angry John, First Kiss, Reconciliation, Clueless Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Last year, Sherlock Holmes showed up at the Landmark with a fake moustache and a bad French accent and threw John's entire life into disarray with two words: "Not dead." This year, there are more surprises in store.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,' Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.' And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5, 798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalize Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn't count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 28,347 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF / Pre-S3 Divergence, BAMF John, Anger, Fighting, Sex, Bed Sharing, Stalking, Case Fic, John’s Past, Introspection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Mythology, Darkness) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. Sherlock finds that coming back is not enough to fix all of the damage that he caused by leaving. A post Reichenbach, post reunion re-discovery fic.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets,  Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love,  Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock, John Separated From His Child) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[fatherofmachine]

All righty,  I’m gonna talk about Finch’s injury at EXTENSIVE length in this post,  so.  If you’re at all squeamish about medical stuff  &/ or spinal injuries  & the like,  you might want to avoid reading.  I’m NOT AT ALL certified to diagnose physical injuries,  so MOST of this comes from what Person Of Interest has PROVIDED,  obviously,  & these links: 1  2  3  4  &   5. If ANYONE ELSE has sources ( or even better ones,  but these ones seem pretty thorough  & Good ),  feel free to send some my way  & if I’ve gotten anything WRONG here or misunderstood  any of the information I’ve used,  please do let me know.       PERSONAL BLOGS,  LIKING  &  COMMENTING IS A-OK,  BUT                 PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG.

Harold has had THREE SURGERIES after the ferry bombing ;  a 2-level posterolateral fusion,  a lumbar spinal fusion  &  a laminectomy,  a surgery to attempt to alleviate the pain caused by his damaged sciatic nerve.

These are his x-rays from 1x04 ( Cura Te Ipsum )  & it’s VERY CLEAR to me that the injury is focused at the C3,  C4  & C5 vertebrae.  ( In regards to how the pain works,  it’s either pain,  numbness  &/ or a  “pins  & needles”  feeling  &  I’m ASSUMING that it can fluctuate between all three. The pain can be a dull ache or either a BURNING or cold type of pain,  for your reference.  With spinal injuries,  this kind of pain is called NERVE PAIN,  which is usually  considerably different than ordinary pain.  When I mention  “pain”  &/ or  “uncomfortable sensations”,  that’s what I’m referring to. ) With what we’ve been given  / what we’ve seen,  his disabilities regarding the C3,  C4  & C5 vertebrae include:

1. Limited range of motion,  as C3 enables side to side movements of the head.  This also causes his sometimes RIGID-LOOKING POSTURE. 2. Pain  / or pins  & needles feeling in the diaphragm ( which causes breathing issues.  This indicates that when Finch gets winded,  it’s not because he’s out of shape or something  ). This would also mean he’d have either painful sensations or the tingling sensations ( maybe even numbness ?? ) in his chest when the breathing issues arise. 3.  Some sort of paralysis in his legs  & personally,  I would also say he’d have some issues with his hands sometimes.  With the addition of the C5 vertebrae,  there’s a chance of paralysis ( or the uncomfortable sensations ) in the wrists as well.  This is also where the PAIN comes in.  With all fore-mentioned vertebrae,  pain,  tingling or numb sensations would be in the shoulders  & shoulder blades,  the collarbone,  upper arms,  hands  & the neck.  The neck sensations can often cause headaches as well.  All of this can also be directed to one side of the body,  which would be Finch’s LEFT side. 4. (  this bit of info is something MOST of you don’t need  to know but I gotta write it down anyway ) Because male sexual function depends on BOTH voluntary & involuntary motor control, most spinal injuries cause men to often struggle with getting or retaining erections ( which doesn’t mean COMPLETELY ALWAYS, but it’s likely an issue sometimes ).  

& Because he’s very obviously had a 2-level posterolateral fusion  ( which is what the bright white lines in-between the vertebrae are in the right side of the picture are ; they’re screws ), that has largely aided in his regained ability to walk  & it lessened the chronic pain to a manageable level ( along with a different  fusion surgery,  which I’ll get to shortly ).  

As mentioned in a previous post I reblogged earlier ( this one ), Finch very likely had a sciatic nerve injury as well,  as it’s mentioned once we wakes up right after the accident that he’s suffered an injury to his lower back ( which would probably be the left side of his lumbo-sacral spine,  so both of these are intertwined  & that’s what causes the limp.  In this case,  it’s likely that he might’ve had some sort of lumbar spinal fusion as well as the fore-mentioned C3,  C4  & C5 2-level fusion,  which would also be a BIG deal with aiding him to be able to walk again ).  SO,  WHAT THAT MEANS IS:

1. He has WEAKNESS of knee flexation ( bending ). 2. Weakness of foot movements,  which can be inability to turn the foot inwards  &/ or difficulty bending the foot downward. 3. POSSIBLY some difficulty in keeping his legs / feet close together. I would assume it’s not impossible,  but because of gradual discomfort,  he can’t do it for very long. 4. “Foot drop” ( Finch’s left foot specifically ),  because the muscles that lift the foot are weak.  This is associated with a paralytic type of limp. 5. Decreased sensation,  numbness or tingling at the top of the foot  &/  or the outer upper or lower leg ( which,  in Finch’s case,  would be the lower leg ).

6. Limited hip movement.  Can move them forward  &  backward (  albeit with a limit ),  but any other direction either causes PAIN  or his body simply halts  the attempted movement completely.

AN UPDATE ( thanks to discussing it with @anurbanlcgend​​ ),  RE:  MENTION OF SCIATIC NERVE INJURY ( 4 / 8 / 2020 ):

The ONLY surgery Harold ever considered  purely to alleviate any kind of pain was a laminectomy,  because his initial lumbar spinal injury caused a rare  case of lumbar spinal stenosis (  which is usually a result of aging,  but in rare cases can emerge after a spinal injury ).  HOWEVER,  because of the events shown in the episode RAM ( 3x16 ) where he was forced  onto his feet before he was SUPPOSED to,  he did so before that surgery had entirely healed.  Thus,  it messed up that particular nerve  &  likely cemented a small amount of paralysis within his left leg (  which is why,  for example,  if he has to climb over anything for some reason,  Harold has to physically move his left leg with his own hands  to get his leg over like,  a railing ).  Having to do this also  basically made the surgery kind of pointless.

SCARS:

Aside from his emotions attached to them,  the general sensory feeling of someone touching closer to like,  his mid back gives him this twisting / uncomfortable / dread-like  feeling in his gut  & a skin-crawly feeling especially but he has that twisting feeling of dread if any of them are touched tbh (  which means,  it’s gonna take him a long time  to allow touching ).

1. Harold's surgery scars are VERY prominent,  especially  the spinal one.  It starts at the upper part of his neck  &  goes down the middle of his back  &  the indentation that it leaves is pretty significant.

2. His hip scar is relatively prominent as well,  but it's a little more FADED than the one on his back  &  has less  of an indentation.  That one goes from the left side of his lower back  &  curls around  &  stops just short of his hip bone.

3. The shrapnel scars those effect / change the texture of his skin  &   they start at at his left hip in the front & rise to reach the bottom half of his side.

4. He ALSO has the original blunt force trauma scars which are at the back of his neck  &  lower back ( & the lower back one stretches on into his left side ),  underneath  the surgical scars.  They look like slightly raised,  considerably large  &  thin WELTS now  &  they are slightly discolored.

[dreamersleeps]

Hey, have been reading your blog and it is the kind of goldmine I’d brave the dangers of the Klondike for. It is SO GOOD. But I’m also curious on your thoughts on Endeavor playing god, but not understanding the science behind his creations? He seems to think Shouto has an Icyhot Quirk when it’s more likely Shouto is a Chimera. He has two phenotypes, thus one side can only use Icy and the other can only use Fire. Shouto like has TWO Quirks instead of a combination of both. And Enji seems to think Touya inherited Rei’s constitution, yet that might not be the case as according to the Singularity Theory, humans’ Quirks are evolving at a faster pace than the body can keep up with. So Touya might not even HAVE his mother’s constitution but Endeavor just THINKS he does. Also, there is his rivalry with All Might that is completely one-sided. Allmight as All For One which is the Quirk of not a single person but more eight Quirks in one. Endeavor thinks he’s going up against a single man when in reality he’s facing eight men in one.

Hello! First of all I’d like to give a huge apology for how late my response is. Due to the start of the spring semester and some other unexpected life events, this took way longer than expected. 

Thank you so much for your kind comments! 😩💕 It really did put a huge smile on my face and it made my day! It makes me feel very giddy~ When I first started posting on Tumblr, I wasn’t expecting people to actually like or even read the stuff I was writing about or send messages to my inbox since most of my posts kind of make me look like the guy in this meme here: 

I very much appreciate all the comments and asks I receive in my inbox, so thank you for sending yours in. 

Anyways, I’d like to address this from the beginning but, unfortunately when it comes to quirks and how they work, I’m not too sure if I will be able to answer your questions properly. For example I am aware of the Quirk Singularity Theory but I don’t know if I have a good enough understanding of it to form a response I am confident in.. That being said, I will try to answer your other questions and comments the best I can. 

Endeavor Playing God

So, what are my thoughts on Endeavor playing god, but not understanding the science behind his creations? Back when we had the Touya reveal and we got more information about the Todoroki household from the perspective of Todoroki Enji, there were a lot of differing thoughts and opinions about the flashbacks that were floating around Tumblr. I think if I were to give a simple answer to your question, I’d say it was Endeavor’s youth and stubbornness. Looking back at Chapter 291, we can see that Endeavor looks quite young in the flashbacks with Touya, but I’m going to attempt to do the math. 

Seeing that we know that Fuyumi is currently 23, and that Dabi is older than her (I suck at guessing ages) and I’m guessing here that he’s going to be four years or older, since quirks normally manifest around four years of age. That being stated the youngest age Dabi may be currently is 27? Maybe 26.

Keep in mind that I may be off with the “math” I’m doing here but let’s guestimate Dabi’s age as being 26 or 27. Endeavor is currently 46 years old so that means he was 19 or 20 years old when he had Touya. For comparison, Natsuo is currently 19 years old as well. 

At that young of an age, he already had his eyes set on wanting to surpass All Might. His hero name, Endeavor, summarizes his career pretty well: an attempt to achieve a goal. 

With the hellflame quirk he has, and the wealth and power that came with his family name, he really was given a position to act as a “god.” For the sake of his ambitions, Touya, Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shouto were born, as his “creations.” 

Touya’s “Weak Constitution” and Shouto’s Quirk 

I’m not going to say that his youth was the main factor for why things happened the way they did because the answer is more complex, but I do think that a combination of his youth and stubbornness fueled Endeavor’s recklessness. He essentially bought his marriage with Rei in order to pass down some sort of combination of the hellflame quirk and Rei’s ice quirk to his children. I think when it comes to the question of whether he understood the science behind what he was doing, I think I can confidently say that he didn’t know in the beginning, or at least it was not something he really looked in to. I think he just saw it as hellflame + ice quirk = child with both quirks as we kind of see in the panel below. 

As you state, Endeavor does see the combination of the two quirks as one. We can see below that he refers to it as, “the ideal quirk.” 

I think that it is also important to point out that Endeavor was, I guess you could say, content when Touya was born even though he only had the hellflame quirk. From the first panel, Endeavor states, “the fire power he possessed was greater  than my own.” 

He continues to say, “He didn’t have a way to overcome the inescapable downside of overheating but... I nevertheless sought to raise the boy to be a hero.” 

That was until it was revealed that Touya’s body could not handle the extreme heat which came with the hellflame quirk. This is when Endeavor began to refer to Touya’s “weakness” as inheriting Rei’s weak constitution. 

Now, the Quirk Singularity Theory and just the genetic science behind quirks has always been kind of difficult for me to wrap my mind around so because of that I do not think that I will be able to give an opinion on it that I would be confident in. However, @/redphlox has a post which has some opinions that I agree with that have to do with Endeavor’s belief that Touya had “a weak constitution and Shouto’s quirk. I will link it here. 

As for Shouto’s quirk, unless the actual meaning and its nuances was lost in translation, his quirk is referred to as “Half-Cold Half Hot” in the English official translation which I think further reinforces the idea that it is not really a singular quirk but a combination of two separate quirks. I agree that Shouto is most likely a Chimera. 

According to Britannica, a chimera is: 

In genetics, an organism or tissue that contains at least two different sets of DNA, most often originating from the fusion of a many different zygotes. 

The term is derived from the chimera of Greek mythology: a fire-breathing monster that was part lion, part goat, and part dragon. 

As seen below we can see the white hair, gray eye and ice quirk on his right side (our left) that he inherited from his mother Rei, and then on his left side (our right), the red hair, teal blue eye and hellflame quirk he inherited from his father Enji. He can only use his ice quirk on his right side and his fire quirk on his right side. 

Shouto’s appearance reminds me of a particular tortoiseshell cat named Venus from a while back. You may have seen her back when photos of her went viral. Tortoiseshell cats are usually chimeras, however Venus was nicknamed the “Chimera Kitten” or “Chimera Cat” even though it is most likely that the chimera mutation isn’t the cause behind her unique (and cute!) appearance. 

Another definition of a chimera is: 

“A chimera... is a composite individual that was made up of cells from at least two different original embryos. If they fuse together early enough, they will become a single organism whose genetic input is from two completely different individuals. In a mosaic, there’s only one individual and it just happens to have different genetic components active in its cells. A chimera would be a much more unusual and unlikely event. - Columbia University Professor of Genetics and Development Virginia Papaioannaou 

The image above depicts Venus the cat however the original source of the photo is unknown. 

Considering that in real life, a chimera is an individual made up of cells from at least two different embryos I think we could kind of apply that sort of argument to Shouto although this is all speculation. To our knowledge, the other Todoroki children were born with only one of their parents’ quirks while Shouto was born with both. 

On Shouto’s fan wiki page, it states: 

If he overuses one element without utilizing the other, then his own body temperature will suffer; the ice half will cause frostbite and the fire half will cause heatstroke, Until his bodily limit is reached however, neither has any visible effect on his body. Shouto can easily negate his weakness by alternating between ice and fire. 

Endeavor had been training Shouto to use his fireside and I think he mostly saw the ice quirk as something that could be used for temperature regulation however, as you suggest Shouto has two separate quirks, both equally strong in their own right. If he used his ice quirk too much, he may have to rely on the hellflame quirk to regulate his body temperature. Both quirks have very high potential on their own and with the aid of the other. 

Anyways going back to the Chimera stuff, I think that although the movie, Heroes Rising isn’t canon, I do think that the inclusion of the villain, Kon Chojuro going by the name of “Chimera” with the quirk of the same name was interesting. He also fits the second definition of the Greek mythological chimera that we had above. 

Even more interesting was that it was with the team of Tenya, Kirishima, Asui and Shouto that took Chimera on, with Shouto making the last blow using his ice quirk. He takes his ice quirk to the extreme and we see his body covered in ice (frostbite?) as a result before he passes out. 

All Might and Endeavor’s One-Sided Rivalry 

Whenever I write about this particular character I feel that I must include a little note like this but everything you see above is not an excuse for what Endeavor has done but a little exploration in to the complexity that is Todoroki Enji. I personally think that he is a very interesting character to look in to.

As you mention, the rivalry between Endeavor and All Might was completely one-sided. I think a large part behind it had to do with their differing ideas of what it means to be a hero. It is from All Might where we tended to see the more ideal-focused concepts of a hero. He was the symbol of peace, the light of hope and an inspiration for children and people all across Japan. In simple terms, a hero is someone who saves, kind of like how we saw Midoriya throughout most of the series. 

As for Endeavor, he fits more in the role of the concept of a hero being an occupation. He had a hard time trying to figure out how to portray himself to the public after All Might retires and even asks him for some advice of what it means to be the number one. Endeavor wanted to be the number one because that meant he is the strongest man/person in Japan. He was constantly training and he was so focused on wanting to achieve his goal that if he was not able to then he wanted to make sure that his own blood would surpass All Might. For him, simple terms a hero meant someone who surpasses and wins. This is kind of like how we saw Bakugo throughout most of the series until recently. 

(I’m not going to go too deep in to this as many other blogs have written amazing analysis and meta posts on Tumblr already but the adults they are often compared to Midoriya and Bakugo’s storylines have been slowly changing to incorporate both saving and winning in to what it means to be a hero.) 

With this one-sided rivalry came Endeavor’s recklessness. I do not think that before and early stages after Touya was born that he really considered the science behind his “creation.” However as soon as it was revealed that Touya could easily get harmed by his quirk, Endeavor definitely should have recognized the consequences of his actions. 

As his hero name suggests, one of his main goals and purposes of being a hero was to accomplish his greatest endeavor, to surpass All Might, which he calls his “eternal goal.” There is an implication here that at the age of 19 Endeavor already believed that there was a good chance that he may not be able to surpass All Might with his own quirk and strength. That is why he sought out a Quirk marriage. 

“Because Toya had more potential than me... I placed my ambitions on his shoulders.” 

Endeavor has a bias towards his own quirk as he wanted an heir with his quirk and blood to become number one. Fuyumi was born and she had inherited Rei’s ice quirk but unless we get some sort of explanation, I think we can assume that Endeavor did not bother trying to training her. I think the same can be said about Natsuo. 

Then Shouto was born and this changed a lot of things. It seems that there was a highly likely chance that Endeavor either greatly diminished his focus on or halted Touya’s training and turned his attention towards Shouto. After all, he was born with what Endeavor believed to be “the ideal quirk.” He probably saw more potential in Shouto carrying his legacy than he did in Touya to become number one. It is likely that it was during this time that Touya “perished” in the fire. 

Now that Endeavor had lost Touya, he was only left with Shouto. Driven by grief and desperation he put everything he had now onto Shouto. Looking back to Chapter 252, Endeavor tells Natsuo:

“Believe it or not... I was never trying to neglect any of you. But... all I could do was blame others and dodge responsibility.” 

His actions and the past state otherwise however if we take his word, then I kind of visualize a man who was aware of the consequences and hurt caused by his actions and cruelty but had refused to actually acknowledge it: whether it was because he was afraid to confront reality, a mix of his stubbornness and desperation, the desire to become number one surpassing every other desire or a combination of all of this.

I always got a feeling from his character that he was someone who chose to believe that “the end would justify the means” as he “lost more” if that makes sense. “Everything that happened could not be all in vain” (although I’d like to point out that acting in this way is very selfish of him) which is why he continued to keep his eyes on the horizon at his goal instead of towards his family. 

As you state, Endeavor was going up against All Might, the carrier of the One for All quirk, and yes, it is interesting that kind of like All for One, it is the carrier of multiple quirks. One of the main differences between how the two quirks function is that one has the ability to pass on quirks and power while the other is the ability to take other quirks and powers. Unfortunately, unless the secret of AFO and OFA come to be known to the public, Endeavor would have never known what he was truly up against and in a nihilistic view, one can say that everything he was and did ended in vain. 

Although I would argue otherwise as this implies the assumption that the birth and existence of the Todoroki children would then had also been “in vain.” This is not true. This would imply that they would only be an extension of his legacy. We see the struggle to separate ones’ identity from their parent and their “destiny” through the contrasting stories of Shouto and Touya. 

In the end, Endeavor did become the number one hero although it was not in the way he envisioned it to be: it was given to him as he was the next in line as the number two hero due to All Might’s retirement. He didn’t win the position by surpassing All Might hence the embarrassment and anger he may have felt when the news was announced. Now that he is (ehhh maybe was? considering where we are in the manga) the number one hero, it seems like that everything he’s been doing and thinking keeps going back to the thought of “because I am the number one hero.” The position he worked hard for, trained hard for and hurt his family for across the decades of his life, forfeited to him by the previous symbol of peace. 

I always return back to the High End vs Endeavor fight whenever I talk about him but that is because there are great symbolic and narrative points that are made during it. Again, it is what establishes him as the number one hero but this is also where he acknowledges the past (however to what extent is debatable). 

I remember when the episode first came out back in 2020, anime watchers were going crazy. It felt like with some viewers, they focused more on the action than the narrative that was taking place. The reason why Endeavor flies so high and captures the hearts and support of the people of Japan in BNHA and a wide majority of us, the watching audience, is so that we can feel the blow later on when he plummets down. Even when I was watching it, I couldn’t help getting goosebumps while listening to the ost and seeing the way the manga panels were interpreted and animated. 

While I had been reading the chapters which I did first, I did not even really care about what was going on. I just kind of brushed Endeavor off to the side at the time. However when I was watching it I even got a little emotional, although I’d like to blame that on the fact that I had just finished a really difficult semester and watching the episodes felt like a cathartic release of stress (hahaha). It was only afterwards I went back to actually re-read and look at what was going on in the manga.  

I hope that I gave the answers, thoughts and opinions that you were looking for. Again, huge apology for answering your questions and comments really late. Thank you @thewilderstorm for sending your thoughts in, I truly appreciate it and loved responding to them!

[overthinkingkdrama]

Hi! So, I’ve just recently gotten into K-Dramas, and... I have a small issue, and that is though I LOVE them in the beginning, by the end they always disappoint me? Like, they start lighthearted and fun, and then by the end suddenly everyone’s in mortal peril, and I don’t care? Or they start all fantasy, and then it’s all about the romance in the end? So... Could you possibly recommend me ones that are good, or tone consistent, throughout? Please?

Hi! Thanks for dropping by for recs. These are some of my favorite asks. I just love going back through my watch list and finding dramas that fit a given criteria. It gets more fun the more dramas I've seen.

The thing about Kdramas that makes them a uniquely sticky beast is that many of them are live-shot week to week, at least for part of their run, and often the scripts are not fully written before filming begins. Popular Kdramas will also occasionally receive extensions which can cause further pacing and plot issues and (sometimes) cause a story to sputter out entirely. With the increasing prevalence of entirely preproduced dramas there's been an increase in overall drama quality and consistency in past years. That being said, Kdramas are still a decidedly mixed bag in terms of overall production quality. So it pays to either drop things with extreme prejudice if you stop enjoying them and watch widely, or to have a good drama filter friend (like me!) to give you vetted recs. As a genre a lot of the more "classic" feeling dramas have a tendency to start really light hearted and then swing super dramatic in the latter half. That's something I occasionally like, but lucky for you not all dramas are like that!

Your ask doesn't really tell me what genre of Kdrama most appeals to you, so I went through my list and tried to find you wide a variety of dramas that I think of as being well-paced and tonally consistent throughout. I've also tried to limit myself to dramas that I rated highly on MDL, although my primary criteria was "good and tonally consistent" so this list of dramas is kinda all over the map. But then, so are my tastes. Also, I kinda got the impression from your ask that you're not a fan of the uber-melodramatic side of kdramas and you want something a little more restrained and less soapy, so I tried to steer away from those more makjang dramas but did not entirely succeed, lol. I gave a couple sentences of description so you can more readily narrow down what you're interested in, and if you would like a more thorough review of the dramas some of these have full reviews on my blog which I went ahead linked where they exist.

Age of Youth: A well written slice-of-life ensemble drama about a group of 5 college age women who end up boarding together. There are a couple moments of high drama/trauma toward the end of the show that might be a turn off. But other than the finale the tone is consistent. 9/10 

Arang and the Magistrate: A dark fantasy fusion sageuk with a romance. I included this drama because it does a good job of developing the creepy worldbuilding and fantasy throughout. Though at points it can be a bit slow and the special effects are hella cheesy. 8/10

Argon: A tight, journalism driven suspense drama. Not always my genre but I found it very engaging, and at eight episodes it does not overstay its welcome. 8/10

Be Melodramatic: Another female-centric slice-of-life ensemble drama, though with an emphasis on fourth wall breaking comedy and clever dialogue. Very funny and heartfelt.  8.5/10

Cheese in the Trap: Maybe a controversial inclusion, but I very much enjoyed this drama. A slice-of-life college romance with psychological thriller elements. Some critics felt that the drama focused too heavily on the second male lead in the later half of the story, but YMMV. 8.5/10

Coffee Prince: Classic cross-dressing romance and still probably the best of its kind. A wonderfully nuanced and progressive handling of the subject matter, even after 13 years. Deals with serious subjects but doesn't go too melo with it. 8.5/10

Children of Nobody: My best of 2019, a dark psychological thriller about a child psychiatrist and a police detective who have to confront gray morality while attempting to track down a serial killer who only targets unrepentant child abusers. 9.5/10

Ex-Girlfriend Club: On the lighter side, a friends-to-lovers type romantic comedy about the writer of an autobiographical webtoon who has to figure out a way to get along with a group of his ex-girlfriends to make a movie based on his work. Only 12 episodes. 8.5/10

Go Back Couple: Also only 12 episodes (these shorter dramas tend to be better paced I find) a time-slip drama about a divorced couple who get the chance to relive their twenties and end up realizing they still have feelings for each other. This drama is both very funny and it had me bawling on multiple occasions. 9.5/10

Healer: A favorite of a lot of drama fans, this is an action-focused romance about an awkward soft boy with a secret identity as a highly skilled errand boy to criminals and an intrepid tabloid reporter who is his biggest fan. This drama is pretty tropey, but it's fun and the romance is great. 8.5/10

Hello Monster (aka I Remember You): A police procedural with a background love line about a criminal profiler looking for his lost brother and a detective looking for her father's murderer. One of my personal favorites. 10/10

Hit the Top (aka The Best Hit): A time-slip fish-out-of-water comedy about a 90s pop star who winds up in modern day Seoul and ends up befriending his biological son and meets old friends who his disappearance left in the lurch. 9/10

Incomplete Life (aka Misaeng): A realistic office drama that gave me real world work anxiety, focusing on a failed Go player who winds up an intern at a highly competitive shipping company and has to find a way to earn his keep even without the background and college education of his coworkers. Unbelievably well done ensemble drama. 9/10

Just Between Lovers: A romantic melodrama about two people whose lives were irrevocably changed by a tragic mall collapse that nearly killed them as children, meeting again as adults and finding comfort and healing in each other. A rough sit at times, but a wonderful love story with incredible acting. 9/10

Just Dance: High school, slice-of-life, drama about a dance club in a technical high school and a group of working class kids who reluctantly become involved in this club and befriend each other. Only 8 episodes (or 16 thirty minute episodes, depending on how you recon it.) 8.5/10

Life on Mars: Remake of the British show of the same name, this is a surreal time-slip police drama, about a forensics expert who gets shot in the head and wakes up in 1988. Or does he? He could also be dying on an operating table. It's hard to tell. Dark, suspenseful and trippy. 9/10

Matrimonial Chaos: An off-beat comedy about two dysfunctional couples who become inescapably mixed up in each others lives. One that's having a hard time getting divorced and another that's having a hard time getting married, and all the messy weird emotions that go along with that. This is another one of those, makes you laugh/makes you cry throughout dramas I have an affinity for. 9/10

Moment of Eighteen: A heartfelt high school drama about a straightforward but awkward loner who is forced to transfer to a new school, immediately earns the ire of a powerful student and experiences first love. Not my usual thing, but very well written with complex and likeable characters. 8/10

Mother: A cold and socially isolated woman becomes a temporary teacher and upon discovering one of her students is being severely abused and neglected, decides to pose as the child's mother and go on the run with her. Like Children of Nobody, this can be a bit of a rough watch because of the subject matter but it is very well done. 9.5/10

My Mister: A healing, human drama about a structural engineer in his 40s and a debt-ridden young woman in her 20s who end up crossing paths and saving each other from a miserable existence. My current all time favorite drama. Cannot say enough good things about it. Practically perfect in every way. 10/10

One Spring Night: A very restrained and naturalistic slow-burn romance about a woman who is about to get married and suddenly begins to question her relationship and a single father who had given up on love who find themselves irresistibly drawn to one another. 9/10

Prison Playbook: An ensemble slice-of-life drama centered on prisoners and correctional officers in their day to day lives. I find the actual het romances in this drama totally useless, but it's a large and talented cast playing a variety of lovable characters. 8/10

Psychopath Diary: Recent fave. A screwball black comedy about a mild mannered pushover who loses his memory and finds a diary that convinces him he's a psychopathic murderer, which gives him a huge boost of confidence from his new found identity, much to the chagrin of those around him and the actual owner of the diary himself. 8.5/10

Queen In Hyun's Man: A drama about a Joseon scholar who time travels to modern day Seoul and meets an actress who just landed a part playing the queen he served in the past. This one might be on the border line of too dramatic or tonally inconsistent, but it's got one of the most pitch perfect finales in Kdramas and the 45 min episodes keep it a snappy watch that doesn't drag or meander too much. 8/10

Reply 1988: A late 80s nostalgia drama about a group of families who all live off the same alley. Lovely family drama, comedy with a variety of romances. Long ass episodes especially later in the run, but I have rewatched the whole thing and I loved every minute of this show. 9.5/10

Save Me: A dark drama about a young woman who finds herself forced into a dangerous cult by her family, and is desperate to escape, and a group of 4 local young men who try to help her. One of the more unique and well done OCN thrillers. 9/10

School 2013: High school ensemble drama that launched a whole bunch of careers. In general I avoid school dramas (I know there have been three on this list so far, but those are like the only three, lol) but this show got me so invested in all these students and teachers. Also the two male leads are so shippable. 9.5/10

Secret Love Affair: A romantic melodrama about a piano prodigy from an underprivileged background who catches the eye of a married older woman and the two fall into a passionate affair. This drama involves cheating (obviously) but it's beautifully filmed and written and the music is to die for. 9.5/10

Signal: This is a supernatural crime thriller and a perennial favorite in the Kdrama community. An imbittered criminal profiler finds an antique police radio which allows him to speak with a police detective 15 years in the past, and uses this to crack cold cases and try to prevent brutal crimes from ever happening. 9/10

Six Flying Dragons: This one is a bit different from the others on the list, first of all because it's a more traditional historical drama, and secondly because it 50 episodes long. But it is so, so very good. And if you're looking for overall consistency in terms of storytelling and tone this drama has it in spades. 9/10

SKY Castle: A unique melodrama about a group of affluent competitive mothers who will go to any lengths to get they're children into the best medical schools, and a mysterious school coordinator with shady motives who gets brought in as a ringer to give them an edge. This show is kind of hard to sell but very entertaining and watchable. 7.5/10

Stranger (aka Secret Forest): The story of a stalwart prosecutor who, due to a childhood trauma is unable to feel the full spectrum of emotions, works with a bighearted police detective to root out corruption around a series of murders. This one’s rather cerebral and requires your full attention but the leads are amazing and there's a second season coming out this year I'm very much looking forward to! 9/10

The Nokdu Flower: Another sageuk drama about the latter years of the Joseon Dynasty surrounding three people who fall on different sides during the Donghak Peasant rebellion. Incredibly well written and involving historical drama. If you're not sure you're ready to commit to something like Six Flying Dragons, I think this would be another good entry point into the genre. The acting is amazing. 9/10

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes: A romantic melodrama and psychological thriller about a dangerous enigmatic young man on the cusp of becoming either a human being or a monster. He becomes involved in a fraught relationship with the sister of a police detective at the same time her protective older brother begins to focus on him as the prime suspect for a murder. High key moody and tragic if you're into that kind of thing (I am). 9/10

Touch Your Heart: On the complete other end of the drama spectrum, this show is pure unadulterated fluff, which managed to keep me giggling and swooning throughout the run, even though it's typically not my thing. An actress joins a law office as research for a role and falls for the ace attorney she's assisting. 8.5/10

WATCHER: Another OCN thriller about three different people with shady motivations who are connected to the same murder case and become involve in a corruption task force looking into dirty cops. One of those "trust nobody, everyone's a suspect" dramas with lovely complex characters and a fully engaging plot. 8.5/10

Sorry that got so out of hand! This is what happens when you don't give me a little more direction I guess. These are all dramas I quite enjoyed and I believe you will find something in there that will suit your fancy. This is a pretty accurate cross section of my tastes.

Happy watching!

Jona

[strawberryfieldsforever-xx]

Blog Post #4

Here we go!

       This movie takes place 2 years after the  finale of the tv show Steven Universe's 5th season. Steven is now 16 years old and has a neck. He, along with the Crystal Gems - Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet - sing "Happily Ever After" to celebrate their new life. Immediately after, the antagonist gem named Spinel lands her space injector into the Earth and lets everyone know her intentions of killing the Earth, along with Steven. Using a scythe-looking weapon called the "Rejuvenator", Spinel poofs Amethyst, Pearl and Garnet to their gemstone form. Her attacks on Steven deactivate his gem powers but his physical human form is unharmed. He manages to poof Spinel shortly after.

       Steven turns to his father, Greg, for help. After the gems regenerate their bodies, they discover that their memories have been wiped. Pearl takes the role as Greg's servant and Spinel take the role of Steven's entertaining best friend. Then, Steven turns to Bismuth, Period and Lapis for help.  Bismuth is able to identify Spinel's scythe as the "Rejuvenator", which was used in gem history to wipe out the memories of rebel gems, essentially turning them back to their initial, obedient  form.

       Spinel suggests that the way to restore their memory is to reenact the events in their pasts. This inspires Steven to try to reenact the first fusion of Ruby ​​and Sapphire. An accident happens due to Spinel's actions, which risks the life of Ruby. Sapphire saves Ruby, resulting in them fusing into Garnet, but her memories haven't come back yet.

       After successfully restoring Amethyst's  memory, Peridot  discovers that Spinel's drill is injecting the Earth with a chemical that would kill every living thing on the planet and that attempting  to remove the syringe will only speed up the process.

       Attempting to bring back Pearl's memory, Steven takes her to Sadie Killer and the Suspects concert, hoping their rebel-themed music would bring back her core memories. However, Pearl insists that she will serve Greg as long as he exists. This sparks an idea. Steven fuses with his father, which causes Pearl to finally regain her memories. Spinel runs away from the situation.

       Steven follows Spinel to a deserted garden in space and listens to Spinel's story: When Pink Diamond decided to preserve Earth against the plans to turn it into a gem colony, she tricked Spinel to play a waiting game and abandoned her. Spinel obediently and hopefully waited there for 6,000 years before learning that Pink Diamond was gone, and Steven made peace between gems and humans. Steven comforts her, telling her that Pink Diamond was unwise in leaving Spinel, because it deeply hurt her. He manages to convince Spinel to stop the drill.

       They both return to Beach City. Spinel turns off the drill. When Steven began to turn his attention to other people, she accused him of using her only to stop the drill. Spinel turns on the drill again. Steven confronts her and she engages him in a battle. During the fight, Steven realizes that the reason he hasn't regained his powers yet is because he is clinging onto his desire for "happily ever after", which made him resistant to the change and growth. Embracing this truth, he regains his gem powers . He manages to comfort an angry Spinel, making her realize she is indeed hurt but she has a chance to make a change, and turns off the drill.

       After, the Diamonds suddenly arrive and announces that they plan to live with Steven on Earth. They see the destructive aftermath of the whole drill situation and are disgusted. Steven takes this opportunity to introduce Spinel to them. The Diamonds quickly take a liking to her, bonding over their love for Pink Diamond. After the Diamonds and Spinel go back to their palace home, Steven and his friends start working together to rebuild Beach City. Finally, Steven, Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet and Greg end the movie in a Broadway-style performance.

_

       The Crystal Gems sing “Here We Are In The Future” at the start of the movie.

       Spinel, the antagonist, unleashes her weapon after landing on planet Earth.

       Pearl, originally a servant for Pink Diamond, is rebooted to her initial form and memories. Here, she is singing a song.

       A rejuvenated Spinel recalls her memory of being abandoned by Pink Diamond in the royal garden, thus regaining her memories

       After realizing the only thing holding back his powers is his mental resistance to change, Steven regains his gem powers.

       The movie comes to a conclusion as the Crystal Gems end it with a fabulous Broadway-style performance.

_

1. What life lessons can be learned from the movie?

Change is not bad. Change can be good in your life. Change is the only thing permanent in this life, so we might as well expect and embrace it.

Rash actions, such as murdering the child of the one who abandoned you and his home planet, will not help with the emotional pain you feel.

2. What part of the story told by the movie was the most powerful? Why?

The part where Spinel shares her experience of being abandoned by someone she deeply loves. That part really resonated with me because deep down I feel that way, and that feeling is quite emotionally painful.

3. Who was your favorite character in the movie? Why?

My favorite character was Garnet, the gem fusion of Ruby and Sapphire. That's because she's adorable, a strong leader, a loving family member, and a great supporter to her family and friends. I admire her. She is calm, cool and collected. She is very secure in her relationship. In fact, she IS an embodiment of love between Ruby and Sapphire. I imagine love being the reason for your existence, and being reminded of that strong love everyday, makes living so enjoyable. She absolutely loves herself, and I hope I'll get to that place in the near future.

4. Did anything that happened in the movie remind you of something that has occurred in your own life or that you have seen occur to others?

As per question 3, when Spinel was abandoned by Pink Diamond for 6000 years and when she finally found out what had happened, she changed from innocent and happy to vengeful and miserable. I feel like that is very similar to what I've gone through. 

_

That is all <3

[l-ii-zz]

A follower shared me their theories about the Snowdrop AU:

As I said, far too few characters. Plus, well ... I honestly don’t want a restricted character count to cut me off when I get on a lengthy question, but don’t worry. It’s only four to five questions. 

 On to the response to your response. I want to share a few theories I’ve made about your AU with you. So “Agnus Dei” ... correct me if I’m wrong here but isn’t Chalice’s son called “Agnus”? I thought I’d seen that in a prior post featuring him. If so, I remember the “myth” of where the angels came from in this excellent AU, and if I also recall that post right it was said that he wasn’t there due to ... not being able to ascend through a heroic act ... but - and please, all I’m looking for is an acknowledgment of my theories on what clues I’ve been gathering up, nothing more, nothing less, a simple “spoilers” and I’ll just grin and wait to see - that doesn’t mean his soul couldn’t have simply “hung out” in limbo until he got reincarnated into two ... cups ... Why two?

 Well ... Firstly, the fusion of both brothers looks quite similar to that of Agnus’s design, what first struck me as suspicious when after I figured “Agnus Dei” out. Secondly, on the note of “Agnus Dei”, Agnus translates as “Lamb” in Latin, and as the demon had asked “Agnus Dei will fall today, right?”, this makes me think that “Lamb of God” is something so much more than just something like the Calix Animi (is that spelt correctly?) is, a name for a person more than power ... but that might just be me reaching. 

 And now onto Ace, as how can I forget about her? The picture of Bendy and Ace staring at one another, their similar features. Either coincidental or reincarnation, whichever. Either way though, Ace cracked and she had gone ... gone? Again, either way ... Now history looks as if it’s repeating itself and Bendy’s beginning to go through what she went through, but here’s something I have to ask, and honestly why I bring Ace up in the first place.

 You can’t tell me about the “red scythe tailed demon” because of spoilers, but ... the demon gets into contact with Bendy at some point as according to the post where we see only the tail and the demon’s telling Bendy “no”, so I’m going to make a prediction because honestly this is a fun AU for all the angst and suspense it’s giving, but here it goes and again, I’m only looking for an acknowledgement on my theories, nothing more and nothing less. 

So. After Bendy’s nightmares begin getting to him and his cracks get worse, the demon contacts him, makes Bendy a deal, but this deal has Bendy being taken away, why he asked if he could say goodbye to his friends only to get denied. The brothers are going to go (try) save Bendy as he saved them, and what corrupted Ace to the point she went up into literal flames and fought Agnus is going to go down with Bendy as he fights not only the brothers but himself in trying to regain control of himself and assumably whatever the power of the “ace in the hole” is, considering Bendy’s recollection of the War of the Three Worlds and how he said that Heaven and Earth won with an ace in the hole at their side, too ... 

- @cmoon-rabbit4

I wanted to shared this here in my blog ‘cause it’s so interesting to read and i think that other people who’s interested in the au would love to read this as well. However, and by obvious reasons, i can’t tell if these theories are wrong or right. But still, theories are always welcome and a joy to read!

Thanks for sharing your theories with me! And i’m glad that you’re enjoying the au’s plot as well! <3

[system-of-a-feather]

On topic of moon knight, I tried to searched it first but can't seems to find the answer....so I decided to ask you I hope you don't mind.

What do you think when people especially singlets ship the alters in both romantic and/or sexual way? Since Marc x Steven is gaining more attention after Eps 5.

I heard that dating between alters are actually a thing but I kinda want to know your thought.

Man, I'mma out myself, but I fucking ship Marc X Steven. I'm not a mega stan over it cause like, I don't really get uber into ships anymore, but if you know my personal blog I will sip that tea if I see art or text posts on it. It's beautiful, hilarious, I love it man. It's a quality ship.

And with that being said, for the most part I have absolutely no issue with it obviously. Dating between alters is actually relatively common and I think it often reflects either A) self love or B) a need / comfort in having someone care for you which is commonly something you don't really get in lives that end up with someone developing DID.

All sorts of elaborate relationships can form between parts, like if it can happen between two people, it can happen between two parts. How that dynamic works in practice is obviously going to be different when you share the same body, but I personally find that building very human, very personal relationships between parts is a very helpful and very key aspect of learning to live healthily and happily with the disorder - both in terms of going towards final fusion AND functional multiplicity.

I think some might say that doing so much increase differentiation and division between parts or make it harder to fuse due to this or that and thus it isn't conducive to final fusion, but as a system that is like 98% likely going towards final fusion, its done us a lot.

Either way, we've had like... two formal relationships and one "its complicated" in the past - with one of the formal relationships ending up in amicable break up (that was me and Aderis from waaay back when we were teens) and being on two years strong. .... and ironically, the ones that are two years strong actually are hilariously like Marc and Steven now that I'm thinking about it. Both of those parts are relatively private of their personal / internal lives and while they don't mind us talking about it, out of respect I'm not gonna call names, but I do find that a large reason I like Marc and Steven XD Reminds me of my "parents" as we jokingly call them.

Honestly though, all sorts of dynamics between parts can form and so "This is my husband Marc and his boyfriend Steven" is like 10/10.

With that being said, I do have to give a small caveat that I *do* have a bit of a problem with people sexualizing the disorder ('uwu the local unhinged man'; like, can we not call mentally ill people unhinged thanks) or making it into something a lot more weird than it like.... actually is. I haven't seen too much of that specifically about Marc X Steven, though I'm sure its there (I don't like, run around in the tags) because people just are *like that* with systems sometimes

A few additional loose details and thought though:

It is absolutely not selfcest or whatever. I get why some might think that, but no.

IF they were established to believe they were literal brothers / identify as literal brothers, a case could be made that it might be weird in terms of 'incest'; however even then there is a case that it isn't on the account that being brothers in terms of DID is a lot more of an 'identifying' than 'literally brothers'. This isn't applicable anyways to Marc X Steven since they aren't thought to be / established to see themselves as literal siblings.

TLDR: I not only am fine with it, but I like Marc X Steven and I don't mind singlets liking it too; just as long as they aren't being weird about it or sexualizing a disorder based on childhood trauma.

[lovinitkpop]

Brown Sugar and Honey

This one is about a new girl group at SM. You could say EXO sister group there may be a love line put in it who really knows. I mean I know but then again I might not know. Heads up I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes after rereading it over and over I can’t deal with it.

Oh the reason I came up with this title is because the main OC is black and DO KyungSoo looks damn sexy and handsome when his skin is dark and tan and NOT WHITE WASHED!!!!! STOP THE WHITE WASHING!!!!!!!!

If there is a love line then it will be my first Kyungsoo series. Hope you like it but if you don’t guess what I don’t give two shits leave my blog then. Anyways enjoy bye.

Warnings: Fluffy, Angst, Language, Bullying, Stupid, May not make senses, Brain frat, May not have smut, Trigger, Suicide talk, Racism, Blood, etc.

Pairing: OC x DO Kyungsoo

Chapter 40

December 4, 2019

Renesmee walks around the setting smiles. “Rai this perfect thank you so much.” She’s says turning in a circle.

Rai nods handing off some equipment to the staff. “Can you breathe in that outfit?” He asks looking at Renesmee.

“Yeah I’m fine, as long as no one knows it’s me.” Renesmee replies tilting her head pushing her hair back.

“I’m shocked that you can hide your face still.” Rai says as he looks around making sure everything is ready.  “So who did you get for the guy?”

“Déshì said he got his cousin to do it.” Renesmee says pulling off her mask smiling. “Yeah so I’m good plus the staff doesn’t even care nor do they know.”

“Hello Nessie right?”

Renesmee turns around looking up. “Hi you must be Déshì cousin?” She says bowing to him and he bows back.

“Yes and I’ve been informed about everything.” The male says smiling at her. “My name is Lei.”

Rai looks back the staff then Renesmee. “It looks like everything is ready, all windows are blacked out.” He says nodding walking around. “And staff is gone just us.”

He adds as the staff leaves the building. Lei smiles tilting his head. “I think what you’re doing is great.” He says and she nods.

“Thank you.” Renesmee replies. “I should go get changed, Rai will help you.” She speaks before walking off.

Once everything was set they get started filming for the day. “Okay you two let’s get started.” Rai says and they both nod getting ready.

“Music!”

“And action!”

As the day starts Renesmee and Lei spend majority of the morning filming the video. Lei sits there as they take a small break. Renesmee yawns laying on the floor.

“Nice contacts by the way.” Lei says looking over at her. Renesmee rolls over looking at him.

“Thank you.” She says smiling and he tilts his head humming.

“He was right.” Lei says and Renesmee sits up looking at him.

“What?”

Renesmee asks and Lei just smiles shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it just something Déshì told me.” Lei says and she just nods.

“Okay we need to change outfits and contacts.” Rai says walking back over and Renesmee jumps up. “The first four takes were great.”

“That’s good so I can take off the straitjacket?” She asks and Rai nods helping her take off the jacket. “I wonder could I get this is black?”

“I swear you are so weird.” Rai says putting the jacket to the side.

“No I’m the devil.” She replies smiling as she jumps around. “Okay let’s get this day over with.”

“Let’s start from the beginning in this outfit then change again.” Rai says as Renesmee walks back over getting into place. “Lei you can relax for a while before we bring you back in.”

Renesmee sits in the floor on her knees. Rai gets the camera set. He nods getting the music ready. “Okay and action!”

December 10, 2019

Rosalie walks next to Renesmee as they look around. “Friday is the grand opening are you ready?” She asks looking back at her phone.

Renesmee hums as she checks out the café. “Yeah everything looks amazing, I’m so happy they got everything done in time.” She smiles seeing all the little decorations.

“Thank you again for all your help.”

“Anything for my precious little flower.” Rosalie says looking up from her phone. “So let’s go we can go eat now.”

Renesmee nods pulling her hood back up putting her shades on. “I love the cold.” Renesmee says running outside pulling her mask up.

Rosalie shakes her head watching her as she pulls her keys out. She unlocks the car walking over as Renesmee dances around. Renesmee smiles seeing all the snow.

“Get in the car.”

Renesmee giggles running over getting into the car. They head into town looking for something for eat. “What do you want for Christmas?” Renesmee asks pulling out her phone.

“What?”

“What do you want for Christmas I’ll get you anything?” She asks again looking up some clothes.

“You don’t have to get me anything sweetie.” Rosalie says shaking her head. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

“Staying home watching movies.” She replies going through her pictures. “But until then I’m very busy.”

Once they finish eating they head to SM Entertainmnet. “So again no one knows I’m the hidden angel.” Renesmee says pulling her phone out her pocket. “Oh thanks for lunch.”

“No problem and I know that already.” Rosalie replies looking over at her. “So how far are you on the letters?”

Renesmee sighs looking out the window. “Must we talk about this?” She says pushing her hair back.

“Yes.”

“I’ve done some of the letters if that’s what you want to know.” Renesmee speaks as she leans back in her seat closing her eyes.

“And the book?”

“Ugh look I’m doing it okay, I promise I’m working on it.” Renesmee answers causing Rosalie to just laugh watching her. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why is it every time I ask you anything about your relationship you shut down?” Rosalie asks as she stops at the light.

“I don’t know okay, I’m being honest with you.” Renesmee starts off looking at her lap as she sits there. “I love him I swear, when I’m with I’m happy and my brain isn’t running wild.”

“I can relax, plus I can actually sleep without waking up screaming.” She goes on running her fingers through her hair. “But that’s the problem I feel like everything is going too well; nothing ever works for me.”

“I’m just siting here waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Why do you think something bad always happens to you?” Rosalie asks pressing the gas once the light turns green.

“Because that is my life, kiddnapped twice plus I lost my memory; nothing good happens to me or for me.”

“Why do you think I did all this as hidden figure.”

“I guess I understand, but I promise things will get better.” Rosalie says ruffling Renesmee hair.

Renesmee whines closing her eyes and Rosalie just smiles. Rosalie pulls up to the company and parks the car turning it off. They both get out and look around before heading inside.

“Come on let’s go.” Renesmee says running up to the doors.

“What’s the rush?” Rosalie asks following behind her.

Renesmee stops in her track hearing her mom. She stands there thinking for a minute. “I don’t know.” Renesmee says looking at Rosalie.

“Then stop running.” Rosalie says as she starts walking again.

Renesmee hums following her as she looks at her phone. “Oh here they are.” Renesmee speaks as they turn the corner seeing the other girls.

They both head into the practice room looking around. “Okay where have you been?” Li Jie asks seeing them walk in.

“With her.” Renesmee says pointing to her mom.

Li Jie nods seeing her and Rosalie just smiles. “Ah Rosalie how are you today?” Jie looks away thinking and Renesmee hums watching him.

“Relax Jie I’m not mad anymore, besides I’m here to drop her off.” Rosalie pulling her phone out. “So what are they doing today?”

Jie hums looking back at her tilting his head. “Practice then going over tomorrow schedule.” He answers as he checks his phone.

“Yeah we have a signing thing tomorrow and a photoshoot.” Xiaoling says as she sits on the floor stretching.

“Unnie and I have a MV to film next week with Ten and Taeyong.” Moka says nodding and Renesmee hums.

“Oh that’s right heh I completely forgot about that.” Renesmee says putting her bag down. “I’m glad I’m off Friday.”

“How?” Chaoxing asks looking back at her.

“Remember twice a week I see the doctor.” Renesmee replies sliding next to Roxay as she sits in the floor. “I went Monday now I go Friday.”

“What did they say?” Roach asks looking at Renesmee.

“Well Monday for some reason my iron was low so they gave me some iron in fusions and a shot for my back.”

“That sounds painful.” Sora says drinking from her tumblr.

“Not really the shot did help with my back pain.”

“Okay I’ll pick you Friday morning, I have some paperwork to do before going back to work.” Rosalie says looking at her file and Renesmee looks back at her.

“Okay let me know when you’re done, bye.” Renesmee says as her mother walks out the room.

December 13, 2019

Renesmee stands in her office on the 4th floor looking out the window. “Are you sure you want to go out there alone?” Déshì asks seeing the crowd of people and press.

“Yeah my face and body is hidden so I’m good.” Renesmee says as she fixes her mask. “Besides if one of you go out there everyone will know I’m the Hidden Angel, I mean look at all the press.”

“She’s right everyone knows the Hidden Angel is an SM idol and Nessie has been seen with all of us in pubic.” Rosalie says folding her arms looking out the window as well. “Just be careful.”

Renesmee nods before walking out heading to the lobby going outside. As she makes her way to the front doors security stands there waiting for her.

“Are you ready ma’am?” One guard asks as she makes her way over.

“Yes let’s go.” Renesmee nods and they open the door. The guards walk Renesmee outside standing by her as the camera start snapping away.

One of the assistance runs out making his way over to Renesmee. “Hello everyone.” He start speaking holding a mic. “We really weren’t expecting a grand opening like this.”

Renesmee looks around watching everyone. “Here’s the star of the hour to say a few words; and officially open Safe Heaven my boss the Hidden Angel!”

Renesmee takes the mic bowing her head. She looks back at the crowd thinking. “Hi hehe, thank you for everyone who came to the opening of Safe Heaven a completely free and safe place for anyone to get help.” She starts speaking disguising her voice.

“There are too many deaths in this world most of them caused from depression; so I bought this place giving everyone who wants to or need to get help for free.”

“I know it may seem unreal but it’s true, some people can’t afford to seek help or don’t trust some to ask for help.” Renesmee says nodding her head looking through her mask. “It doesn’t matter if you’re famous or just a school kid anyone can come here.”

“The only thing you pay for is the café or cafeteria food; but everything else is free here.”

“I’m paying these people and the bills of this building out my pocket; everything is in confidence here unless you give word that it’s okay to give your information out.”

The guards look around checking out everything as she talks. Renesmee hums looking at all the cameras. “So please no matter who you are please use this service seek help; all it takes is one step to start a journey in staying alive or helping someone find help.”

“I know a lot of you came to see if I would reveal myself not yet I’m sorry; but to all my fellow idols out there please.”

“I know it hard and we can’t always ignore the comments and stuff so please if you really wanna stay with your friends come here and talk or relax get rid of the stress.”

Renesmee looks back at her assistant leaning over whispering in his ear. “Now I know this building is big so my lovely assistant Sungmin will explain the many kind of rooms here for people seeking help.”

Renesmee smiles even though no one can see. “Again thank you all for coming out and remember you always have an angel to talk to, bye.” She waves before bowing walking back inside.

Two guards follow behind her as the other two stay with Sungmin. He starts talking after Renesmee gives him the mic back. She makes her way up to her office.

Renesmee waves the guards off as she enters the elevator. They bow walking off making sure everything is good. Once she makes it to her office she hums hearing her phone go off.

“I say you handled that very well.” Rai says smiling at her. “I’ll have my people upload the video first so no one can twist your words.” He adds and Renesmee nods walking over to her desk.

“Now I hired Sungmin for a reason.” Rosalie speaks up looking up from her phone. “You still stay with the group, you can’t always be here.”

“Plus I won’t let you push yourself that far.”

“Yes ma’am I understand.” Renesmee replies grabbing her phone. “I’m going to go I have other I need to do, plus I promised the girls I would cook.”

“Have fun with that, oh and your doctor said your blood work came back.” Her mother speaks up again.

“And?”

Renesmee hums as she starts changing outfits. “You could have waited till we left.” Déshì says looking away and Rai smirks turning away.

“Your iron level is back up so you are good.” Rosalie says looking over at Renesmee.

“Yay.” Renesmee says as she finishes putting her pants on. She grabs her hat and mask putting them on before grabbing her phone and bag. “Bye thank you guys.”

Renesmee quickly runs towards the back staircase making her exit. As Renesmee makes her way to her car her phone starts ringing again. “Hello how my I help you?” She says getting into her car tossing her bag to the side.

“Why didn’t you pick up the first time?” Jongin whines and she just shakes her head as she starts her car. “Answer me.”

“I was busy you big baby.” Renesmee says pulling out onto the street. “What was with the weird text?” She asks turning the corner opting to head to the company.

“One I’m not a baby and two that was a hint.” Jongin responds and Renesmee laughing picturing the pout on his face.

“You’re pouting aren’t you?” She questions biting her tongue.

Jongin hums looking at his phone. “What no I’m not why would I be pouting?” He speaks his voice shaking.

“Cause you’re a baby.” She says giggling as she drives.

Jongin sighs and she just laughs. “Stop being mean to me.” Jongin whines causing Renesmee to laugh again.

“Okay alright tell me already.” Renesmee says stopping at a light. “What hint, hint about what?”

“That I wanna start working on my solo and want your help.” Jongin says and Renesmee smirks shaking her head.

“Okay where are you now?” She asks looking out the window as she pulls up to a small café.

“Right now I’m heading to the company to practice.” He replies and she nods turning the car. “Where are you?” He asks and Renesmee smiles getting out the car.

“I stopped at a near by café to get me some sweets before heading to the company.” Renesmee says as she opens the door walking inside.

“Oh get me something.”

“Like what?”

“Small cake you pick and an ice coffee, I could use some energy right now.”

“Ew gross but okay see you when I get there.”

[eirikrjs]

How is it that the central aspect of the MT franchise is so overlooked compared to Pokemon or Digimon, seemingly both within the fandom and internally at Atlus?

I was talking about this with @joshquixote​ a bit, who mentioned this relevant quote from Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri from November 1999:

http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2040095,00.html

Tajiri: It’s interesting, because in Japan, everybody goes for Pikachu. In the U.S., the characters Ash [Satoshi in Japan] and Pikachu are grouped together. American kids seem to like that. In America there are more products sold with Ash and Pikachu together, not just Pikachu alone. I think Americans actually understand the concept of Pokemon better than the Japanese. The Japanese focus on Pikachu, but what I think is important is the human aspect–you need Ash. 

Basically, because Pokemon was initially just a monster collecting/trading game in Japan, Pikachu was perceived as being an individual PKMN; in the US, we got absolutely blitzed by a marketing bonanza for the series’ launch that heavily included Ash (particularly the anime), so the two were seen as inseparable. You know, in 1999. It’s probably different now, almost 20 years later.

There’s undoubtedly a split in perception between the US and Japan for Shin Megami Tensei’s demons, too. Here are some random thoughts about the topic (including those from a discussion with @sorenblr):

Japanese fans are naturally privy to every MT/SMT novel, game, book, anime, interview, etc. ever released while the English-speaking world has access to a fraction, much of that fraction from fan translations. The average JP SMT fan just has a better understanding of the series’ context and content than their non-JP counterparts. (If you are reading this blog, chances are that you aren’t a casual SMT fan, so this might not apply to you.)

SMT features more Japanese demons than those from any other single region. It doesn’t mean the average Japanese person will know every single one, but they might still claim affinity with them in ways a Western player won’t. Ame no Uzume, Tenaga, and Waira are not household names here. A fair number know Amaterasu, but as a wolf.

Related to that, Japan’s religious systems of Shinto and Buddhism ensure that the average person there will be more familiar with polytheism than our monotheistic culture, including comparisons to Hindu deities imported to Japan through Buddhism; in the West we are most familiar with polytheism through Greek and Norse myths and only the Norse are well-repped in SMT (moreover, the famous names are generally high-level, which many players may never access). A good 75% (honestly, just a number I’m throwing out there) of any given SMT compendium has little significance to the average Western player.

Building off that, monotheism and Euro folklore figure in plenty (25% is still 100+ demons in recent games) and will probably be the most-recognized overall by Western SMT players. Angels, Fallen demons, Jack Frost, fairies, and Alice come to mind for this category. 

In a personal example that intersects of all the elements discussed so far, I read so many passionate defenses of Amemiya’s angel designs in SMT4, but I can’t remember a single one about the similarly bizarre looks for SMT4′s Japanese demons like Michizane, Koga Saburo, or Yamato Takeru. The interest or awareness for JP demons just isn’t correspondent among the English-speaking fanbase.

The lack of regularly introduced demons doesn’t help; the lack of new faces may cause the average player’s eyes to gloss over the old. Seeing Patrimpas for the third or fourth time isn’t going to ingratiate him further (or at all) in the hearts of players.

Some demons have become memes, for better or worse. Awareness of YHVH is high, as antagonistic depictions of him are rare; sometimes SMT is called the series “where you kill the Christian God,” which is amusing to me. Then there’s Mara, of whom only a small minority of non-JP SMT players seem to know his actual significance. And like Mara, some demons are able to coast by merely from their appearances alone, esp. “cuties” like Alice, Moh Shuvuu, Jacks, and Decarabia.

Other demons are remembered if they have exceptional utility. Daisoujou is popular in Nocturne not because he’s a mummified monk but for having essentially unlimited healing at a relatively low level, as are the other Fiends for their exceptional resistances. There’s probably disappointment when the same demon isn’t broken from game to game.

Demon mechanics probably don’t agree with a lot of people, either, lending them the effect of negative conditioning. Complaints about demon negotiation and even fusion are common. Even though fusion is easier with manual skill selection, demons still require a level of micromanagement that may be too much for some. Demons are also meant to be expendable in ways that say, Pokemon, aren’t.

Speaking of things that are expendable, expectations of what “monsters” are from other RPG series likely affect attitudes towards SMT’s demons. Plenty of RPG series use names of mythological beings for its disposable mobs, to the point that it’s unusual when they don’t. Worse, SMT doesn’t do a great job of informing people that there may be something more to its demons. Even as a “monster collecting” series, SMT probably come out too late in the US after the likes of Pokemon, Digimon, or Monster Rancher to have much impact with its traditional formula.

Demons/personas will also forever be overshadowed by human characters. This is to be expected as they are the focus of the narrative. People like me who really don’t give a damn about the humans are squarely in the minority.

Finally, and this is likely isn’t as relevant now, but there’s how Atlus USA initially marketed Nocturne. It didn’t get anything near a Pokemon Red/Blue campaign, but it did get this fascinating print ad. Here’s a snippet:

“The RPG for the GTA generation.” “Dark and gritty.” “Controversy.” “Mature.” “Post-apocalyptic.” I mean, it’s all accurate, and then there’s the “over 100 different demons” as a caption for an image of Dante, the Geralt of 2004. Dark, mature armageddon + lots of demons to collect. But really, I’m not implying they made any mistakes here; these are the limits of marketing. Calling it “Religions Battle 200X” and describing it as “a granular exercise in the representation of myth” doesn’t make for enticing ad copy.

This answer was difficult to write; ultimately, the exact reasons why the demons are overlooked are entirely subjective, but I think the common patterns have been identified here. Against all odds, the value of myth in SMT is something the individual player needs to discover for themselves. Look no further than my own example, as when I first played Nocturne in 2004 pre-myth I found it boring, then a year later post-myth it transformed into one of my most engaging game experiences ever.

I think SMT’s biggest fault re:demons is that it doesn’t provide them enough in-game context for the Western audience; they’re plopped into a modern setting and they want to kill you, or they look like Sarutahiko and they want to bland you to death. To get the most out of it, SMT basically requires you have outside knowledge of myth and religion, which is a lot to ask for a general audience. Unfortunately, I don’t see demon awareness improving anytime soon.

[nickgerlich]

I Want To Be Elected

There are only a little more than six weeks remaining before mid-term elections. There are many important seats up for grabs, not to mention governorships. Candidates and their marketing teams are going all out, not just distributing yard signs, but now speaking to us through social media.

But it’s not like the candidate adverts we see on Facebook and Instagram are  blasted out to the entire universe. No, they are paid placements, and they are placed with extreme precision based on user profiling. Believe it or not, your music preferences, the stores you frequent, the sports teams you support, TV shows you watch, and more are now being used as predictors.

We can thank Meta, owner of Facebook and Instagram, for making all of these data points available. It’s called “Detailed Targeting,” and more likely than not, your habits as a consumer, be it music, restaurants, sports, whatever, are reflections of where you stand politically.

To be fair, Meta did ban targeting based on interests in social issues, causes, or specific politicians. Apparently, all the other little bread crumbs we leave behind tell everything that the candidates want—and need—to know.

Thus, a conservative candidate will likely be interested in those who love NASCAR, hunting, listening to Ted Nugent and Joe Rogan, and dining at Chick-fil-A. Liberal candidates will seek out those with very different tastes, like craft breweries, progressive menus, EVs, and maybe some jazz fusion. Instead of shotgun advertising, this is audience-of-one.

It is interesting to note that the candidates and their marketing people do not see these ads so much as a way to sway voters across the aisle, but rather to reinforce established practices, and also to help raise funds for their campaigns. I would go so far as to say they might just grab the Undecided vote, though, or those in the middle.

Here in Texas, we are facing a showdown between incumbent Republican Governor Greg Abbott and his Democratic foe, Beto O’Rourke. I have not seen one ad for Abbott, but  have seen quite a few for O’Rourke. I guess the interests and so forth that Meta can glean from my posts and any other information I have revealed tell them I would be likely to vote for O’Rourke, as well as chip in a few bucks. Abbott, apparently, has given up on me.

There is always a danger when you rely on profiling, because you might just get it wrong. I’ll leave it at that.

But I do give O’Rourke credit for a very creative grassroots fundraising campaign, in which he asks for a measly $3-$5. He’s clearly positioning himself as an “everyman” candidate, and you don’t have to be rich to donate. He’ll take your money. Or, as I was kidding with someone a few months ago, they should have hit me with “Buy Beto A Beer.”

You might be wondering how all of the information is collected. Every time you check in at a place, you have most certainly announced your pleasure with it. Every music video you post or share does likewise. Your travels, the foods you eat, your vehicle, the books you read…all are indicators. And remember when you logged in to Spotify (or some other site) using Facebook? Yeah, you implicitly allowed to cross-sharing all of your data. Your playlists just became common knowledge over at Meta.

It is almost cliche anymore, but the truth has never been clearer: If you aren’t paying for the product (meaning social media), then you are the product. Teams of data miners are working overtime to figure out everything they can about you.

And if they can convince you to vote for their candidate, as well as send money, they will have done their job. Don’t want to be profiled? Be careful what you post anywhere. Or, just go back to listening to the radio and getting all of your news from the paper. And in a little more than six weeks, it will all be behind us.

Dr “Vote For Me“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[hopefulfestivaltastemaker]

July 18, 2021

My weekly roundup of things I am up to. Topics include upzoning, energy forecasts, advertising and overall consumption, and road damage.

Efficacy of Upzoning

This week it was suggested that I watch this video, which is critical of the wave of upzoning policies going on now to deal with high housing costs. The coverage of issues around upzoning is fairly comprehensive. Some points I would agree with, some I would disagree with, but overall it makes the anti-upzoning case as well as anything else I have seen in a compact form.

I would point to this video as a challenge for the YIMBY movement and other upzoning advocates. Do you have credible responses to the issues raised here? The main points, as I see them, are aesthetic preference for low density as expressed through prices, externalities of density such as traffic and crime (crime is not addressed in this particular video, but it is in some of his other videos and is observed to correlate with density), and whether prices will actually respond to upzoning as hoped (here I think the facts are against him but not entirely). It may be morally satisfying to derisively refer to all opponents as NIMBYs, but this does not address substantive issues, nor does it win hearts and minds.

I have a challenge for advocates of zoning as well. Zoning is arguably the most extensive form of central planning in the United States, and some economists have estimated that it costs the US economy trillions of dollars per year. The cost has been estimated in the hundreds of thousands of dollars for a typical single family lot. Given this, are all forms of zoning really worth the cost, and are there less heavy-handed ways to achieve goals such as preservation of low-density neighborhoods?

Energy Forecast

Coming right after the BP Statistical Review of World Energy, the IEA has a forecast of energy demand for next two years. They expect that by 2022, coal will not only make up the big drop in 2020, but also the smaller drop in 2019 to set a new record. Natural gas should set a new record this year. Nuclear power will grow in 2021 and 2022 but not have made up the 2020 drop by then. Wind and solar will be the big growers, constituting almost half of new supply in 2021 and more than half in 2022.

It should be crystal clear now, if it wasn’t already, that renewable energy is mostly augmenting the fossil fuel energy supply, rather than replacing it (see e.g. York, among other researchers, for an illustration of this effect). This is not an anti-renewable argument. I am also a (partial) believer in the argument of Ayres and Warr that usable energy is a primary driver of economic growth, so the growth of renewables should be very good for the economy. If we can achieve breakthroughs in next generation nuclear fission or fusion, that would also be very good for the economy. This is analogous to energy efficiency and the rebound effect. There needs to be deliberate policy, such as carbon pricing, to take emissions out of the system; deployment alone will not do so effectively.

That takes us to a new paper by Avarez and Rossi-Hansberg, which I found through John Cochrane’s blog, which models the effect of carbon pricing and finds it will mostly delay, rather than actually reduce, overall emissions. I find this surprising and rather distressing. There are two points that Cochrane makes about the paper to understand why this might be the case.

First, since fossil fuel reserves are finite (at least at a given price point and technology level), reducing consumption today will increase reserves tomorrow, thus lowering price and stimulating consumption.

Second, fossil fuels and other forms of energy, particularly renewables, are substitutable but not infinitely so. Coal is generally baseload power, natural gas is dispatchable, and wind and solar are variable sources. The latter can be turned into baseload or dispatchable power with batteries, but only at major cost. Unlike fossil fuels, wind and solar cannot be used directly for aviation, cement, steel, and many other industries. This is an important point to keep in mind when you read a “solar is cheaper than coal” article and wonder why coal use still goes up.

Lest you think the above is an anti-carbon pricing argument, keep in mind that the two points apply to any policy that deliberately reduces fossil fuel usage, including pipeline opposition, clean energy standards, etc.

If we believe that future society will be wealthier and more technologically advanced than present society, something that I still think will be the case but wouldn’t take for granted, then delaying emissions may still be worth it because future society will more easily be able to mitigate and adapt to the consequences of global warming.

Effectiveness of Advertising in Stimulating Consumption

One of the common criticisms of modern economies, and of capitalism in general, is that they require constant growth to be viable. However, in wealthy countries (and increasingly in most countries), most people now have their basic needs easily fulfilled. Therefore, we need marketing to stimulate the desire for consumption and maintain growth.

There are a number of issues in this argument that can be interrogated, but I’ll look specifically at this idea that advertising increases overall consumption.

The idea at least seems superficially plausible. I’m sure it can be traced into the misty recesses of deep time, but the hypothesis that advertising increases overall consumption was most notably expounded in John Kenneth Galbraith’s 1967 book The New Industrial State, which is a far-reaching critique of what he saw as an economy managed by large corporations. It would seem obvious that advertising at least increases consumption of the good being advertised; otherwise, what is the point of doing it? Increased consumption comes with a range of environmental impacts, and for this reason the possible effect of advertising has come to the attention of some environmentalists; see this blog post for a typical example.

It doesn’t seem, though, that evidence since Galbraith’s book has backed up this hypothesis. This book chapter finds that advertising does in fact increase demand for the good being advertised, but not overall consumption, so advertising comes at the expense of rival goods. A couple of studies specifically dealing with alcohol (this and this) and tobacco (this and this) find that advertising increases consumption of a particular brand but not overall consumption; these results are relevant when we consider policy proposals to regulate advertising of these goods of dubious social value. The Montreal Economic Institute, a free market think tank, has this brochure arguing against the hypothesis.

I wouldn’t consider the above evidence to be conclusive, but I wonder what evidence can be marshaled to support the idea that adversing stimulates overall consumption. I haven’t seen anything compelling yet.

Road Damage

When vehicles travel over a road, they inflict wear and tear, which has a cost. Larger vehicles inflict more damage. How much more? It turns out this question is not as well settled as I would have expected.

Based on two main sources, I put together the following plot.

Both sources rely on the rule of thumb that road damage is proportional to the fourth power of axle weight, a result that was found in the AASHO Road Test in the 1950s. In addition to being old, it seems that road damage depends on a variety of factors, such as tire condition, the type of pavement, climate, and others. The ratio of damage of a typical semi truck to a typical passenger car has been given at 9600 or in the 300s. The Road Test also didn’t examine vehicles with weight comparable to bicycles, so while we expect those to be low, the reported numbers aren’t very meaningful.

These figures become especially relevant when we consider road maintenance and who should pay for it. The overall governmental budget, including federal, state, and local, for road repair worked out to $572 per capita in 2018. If the above figures are correct, or even if the lower figures of Bradley and Thiam are correct, then the trucking industry should pay most of this bill. Road damage can also be incorporated into development fees.

Road damage has often been given as a reason to disfavor cars and favor active transportation. However, if the numbers in the True Cost analysis are to be believed, then trucking is responsible for 99% of road damage, which by the Urban Institute analysis would leave less than $6/capita/year for cars (some road damage will also have non-vehicle causes, such as water freezing in cracks). This is too trivial a sum to have a meaningful impact on development patterns except for freight mode.

[franeridart]

Anon said: I love your cartoon mice! You could make a series out of them!

I could!! I’d love to!!!!!! If you guys would be interested in me posting more of the original/cartoonish animals-and-still-life stuff I doodle I wouldn’t mind sharing at all!!!

@notanerd579​ said: hey! i’ve been a fan of yours for quite a while and i’ve had your post notifs on for some time. lately i noticed how quiet you’ve been so i looked up your page, and i somehow was no longer following you? i don’t know what happened, but i wanna make sure u know in case it’s happened to any of your other followers

Answering this publicly cause it seemed like you wanted me to, thank you so much! Both for following me again and for being worried it might have happened to someone else!! I hope not ;;;; 

Anon said: your iidayama fusion... love him so much

Ohhhhhhhhhhh I’m glad, I loved that one concept probably the most out of every other one!

Anon said: Ahhh i love your art style so much!!!! Thank for all the good Kiribaku stuff my dude!!!❤❤

No anon thank you!!!!! 💕💕💕

Anon said: So, I’m just wondering what makes u ship Seromina? My friend only said that their shipped because there the only last two in the Bakusquad, ( Kiribaku, Kamijirou )

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oh, okay! Actually I have no clue if that’s why other people ship them? It might be? It might also be that them being the last two out of the group made people consider the ship and then start actually enjoy the possibility of it? I don’t know! Personally SeroMina is one of the ships I’ve been shipping the longest (I’ve been on it since before starting to like kamijirou, actually!) and one of the only three ships in bnha I have a seriously hard time breaking up and shipping around (the other two being ochadeku and bakushima) so I’m reasonably sure my ending up liking them was an independent thought process and it wasn’t guided by shipping other things? But it’s been so long that I can’t really say why I first considered them as a possibility, so who knows, really! Might be, might not!

The reason why I’m still shipping it right now is that I find them highly compatible, that their interactions in canon give me life, and that I just find them extremely visually pleasing - I think I have a very specific way of shipping them? In my head? I have this story about them, or... an ideal way in which I like to think they might happen, and it makes me very happy and makes me feel very warm and it’s just, it’s ideal? To me, the possibility of Sero and Ashido ending up together would make for an ideal lovestory and relationship, it just gives me the fuzzies haha it’s like, you know, they’re very very good friends, and to me that’s the most solid base to start a relationship, and they’re comfortable with one another which is wonderful. They’re the same type of silly and extra and rowdy which is fun, and I’m very very stuck on the fact that when Ashido was talking about her future agency she just assumed Sero would be in it - she wants him in her future??? how cute is that!! he wasn’t the only one she mentioned so I’m not saying it’s “canon proof” or whatever, I just like that out of the squad the only one she assumed would be with her in the future is Sero, it’s soft I like it. And I like how she’s by canon called bright and shining and eyecatching and Sero’s by canon called plain, I like the possibilities in that, the feelings in that, but especially I like the idea of bright shining wonderful Ashido with her love for everything romantic and always in search of her own shining love story one day looking at Sero and realizing that she doesn’t want anyone else!! because he makes her laugh! he makes her happy! he makes her feel like she’s perfect the way she is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! with her loud laugh and childish sense of humor and overly-bright fashion sense, and I love love love the idea of Sero thinking her completely out of his league and never thinking anything could ever happen between them but like, not in a sad pining sort of way? more in a “she’s ideal and I know she’s out of my league so I’m not putting any thought in it but she ideal”, only for Ashido!!! to confess!!!!!!! To HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just thinking about it makes me feel all warm inside I’m talking too much okay I know I just love them So Much Hori please don’t pair them off with someone else I’ll cry a river

Anon said: Have you seen the newest BNHA chapter??

THIS WAS ABOUT THE KAMIJIROU ONE HELL YEAH I READ THE KAMIJIROU CHAPTER HOLY H E C K

Anon said: Kiribaku, am I right?

you’re So Right, anon

Anon said: first off, i LIVE for your art, it always makes me so happy to see the boys!! also i am impressed with the way you made sero's elbows look anatomically correct he is a Good boy but man is he hard to draw and u did that

THANK YOU!!!! I actually spent a whole lot of time trying to figure out a way to draw his elbows that made sense to me and most times I still struggle with it a lot but I’m super happy to hear the way I go about it makes sense to you!!

Anon said: I was just wondering if you were still into Haikyuu?

Hell yeah! Both following the new anime season and still following the manga!

Anon said: Blue, grey, cinnamon, periwinkle, mauve, blush, indigo, fuchsia, lavender, saffron, plum, sage, viridian, burgundy. Colors taken from mk-58

...............................anon I’m sorry I have no clue what this is about orz

Anon said: Hey there! I love your art so much! Would you ever consider drawing Genos from One Punch Man? He’s my friend’s favorite character and she would totally love it. If not, that’s ok whatever you’re comfortable with :)

Ahhhh I’m sorry anon but I don’t really make a habit of drawing OPM stuff ): I’m glad you like my style, though! Thank you!!

Anon said: IS THIS WHERE YOU'VE BEEN HIDING MY DEAR~?? I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR YOOOOOOOOU~~~~~~~

I also don’t know what THIS is about!!!! is this a song I’m supposed to know because I feel like it is but it’s been weeks and my brain just isn’t cooperating!!!

Anon said: Not a question but I NEED you to know that your bokuroteru tattoo au comic gave me the biggest motivation to start writing again (albeit for bnha, instead of haikyuu) because it's just sooo good!! Their interaction, the way bokuro seem confident and comfortable even tho they're actually lame dorks who blush a lot, the way teru confessed to the two guys, their kisses //// just gahhh everything about your comic gave me the dokis. You're an inspiration

I’m so so so happy to hear that oh my god!!! (TTATT) the fact that that comic can still make people feel stuff means so much to me holy heck I’m gonna cry ;;;;;;;;;;;;;; 💕💕💕💕💕💕

Anon said: CAN WE HAVE MORE AKANE?? PLEASE I LOVE THAT CHILD TO DEATH!!!! I'm new to the blog so Idk if this would be a request but...I just really want some Akane...

I do wanna draw more of her!!!!!!!!! I just don’t have any ideas at all!!!!!!! I hope inspo will come back to me soon ;; meanwhile thank you so much for being interested in my little rude bean TT^TT

Anon said:  !!! i just scrolled through my dash and saw some icon set post that had a a character i didn't recognize, but the image in the middle was familiar, and i realized it was your art ;; so i 1) was proud of myself for recognizing your style immediately and 2) asked op to take the post down since there was no credit and the image was edited. hope you have a lovely day! i got your back 💞

Thank you so much for looking out for me, anon!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕 you’re the best and I appreciate you A LOT

Anon said: OH MY GOD YOU DREW GALO AND LIO I JUST WATCHED PROMARE TODAY AND I THOUGHT "THEY LOOK FAMILIAR"

I have so many more ideas for those two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not sure WHY I’m not drawing more, honestly!!!!! my hands lately haven’t been very cooperative orz

Anon said: Ok so Idk if I lowkey offended u with my last ask so IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME IT WAS A JOKE

NOT OFFENDED SORRY FOR THE WAY I WORDED THE ANSWER seriously I’m really sorry I was just kind of already beating myself up over the fact that I haven’t been posting enough so the answer ended up sounding like that because in my brain I was like yeah fran where IS the stuff!!!!! so, yeah. It was more on me than on you, I’m really sorry for that ;;

[the-original-bookworm]

Merlin Rec list part 1

dreams for wings and wanderers

Dragons are feared and mistrusted throughout Albion, and there are very few of them left in Camelot, for Uther’s long campaign against magic also included hunting down all the dragons in the wild. Now, Camelot is recovering from the invasion of Cenred and Morgause's army. Prince Arthur is the one in charge, and Merlin finds out that his secret regular visits to the covert haven't been very secret at all. There's a great deal of manly bonding with the Knights, inquisitive dragons being inquisitive, and a record-breaking number of near-death experiences for Merlin. And this is before he gets his very own dragon. (A Merlin/Temeraire fusion.)

-little long, but extremely interesting concept. Loved the bond between Merlin and the dragons.

merlinfic: job orientation

In the not so distant future, Merlin builds a tower. That's not suspicious at all.

-short, post! Magic reveal, there is a prequel but I like this one better, love Merlin’s obliviousness. Both Arthur and Merlin felt very on point with characters, they acted exactly like themselves if that makes sense.

Touch Me (Not)

In which Merlin is reluctantly pure, Arthur is unfairly tempting, and the Great Dragon sits back with popcorn to watch.

-smut does happen. Basically Merlin thinks he can’t have sex cause he has to be “pure” for destiny to work. This doesn’t really have much of anything to do with any timeline in the series, it feels like you could stick it in between the scenes of the show and it just WORKS. Kinda short, one-shot type of thing

In Love with my Radio

Merlin listens to the radio, Arthur stalks Merlin, Morgana lives to create chaos in Arthur's life, and then everyone goes to McDonalds! Also love happens.

From the kmm prompt: Arthur has an anonymous blog/lj/twitter where he posts about his life, and Merlin follows it RELIGIOUSLY. Arthur starts posting about how he's stalking this amazingly hot guy...

-ok. This is just. HILARIOUS. And Merlin is so oblivious. Decent sized fic, there are some add on’s I would call them? Like one shots of the story continued. It’s an AU. And I just love it.

Pining for the Moon

First, there is the rage, like nothing Arthur has ever known. It’s hot, hotter than anything, hotter than the kitchen ovens and the blacksmith’s forge and dragon’s breath. It fills him to the brim and carries on, washing over him in waves that scald, and, as Arthur looks around him at the carnage, the man at its centre, he has no idea how he is ever meant to let go of it.

“I can explain,” Merlin says, his eyes still blazing as he kneels there, charred by the fires he lit, blood on his hands. So much blood. “Arthur, sire, please, I can explain.”

First, there is the rage, and then there is a knife at Merlin’s throat.

-this is. Wow. I gotta say, this is a really heavy fic. I usually go for more fluff, good plot line but happy endings type thing. This was completely not that, tho there is a happy ending. Arthur actually kills Merlin for being a sorcerer only regrets it so much and Merlin was actually - well no spoilers but there is a happy ending. Read it, but be warned it’s heavy.

Damsel in a Phone Booth

it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au (merthur)

-so, short and sweet, a good story, good fluff after the “pining for the moon” fic.

Sort of a Tourniquet

Arthur gives Merlin a plastic ring as a joke. But what nobody knows is how much Merlin really likes wearing it. Modern AU with lots of pining.

-sweet, pure fluff. The pining almost hurt me. It’s an AU, and I wanted to kill Merlin a few times, but good story.

Evil Overlord, Inc. Official Website

Merlin is a recent graduate with a double doctorate in metaphysics and physics. Arthur is a low-level paper pusher with a desk in the sub-basement of MI5. They live in a world with ridiculous laws and restrictions against anyone who might be supernatural in any way, shape, or design.

Merlin has huge debts looming over this head, a few quid left in his bank account, and no job prospects. Arthur is pushing thirty, in a dead-end job with no chances of promotion to fieldwork agent, and is thoroughly bored with his life.

One ill-advised Craigslist advert, five pushy mates, one nosy all-knowing sister, and a hacked email account later, Merlin and Arthur take the world by storm.

(Or, more precisely, they take over the world.)

-love love l0ve love. Even in an AU, Arthur can’t stand not running everything. Must read.

The History of Two Conversations (On Paper)

This is a very useful spell, Merlin wrote. He formed the letters carefully, small so he could write more later, if he needed to, and did not at all wonder if he was going to get in trouble or be cursed or something for writing in the margins of an ancient spell book.

He told the book (in case it had an opinion on the matter), "I am just imparting my knowledge to future generations. I'm sure they will find my comments helpful."

The book made no reply, so Merlin decided it was fine and leaned over the tome again adding, You can clean almost anything with it, even though in this book it refers to badgers alone. Don't believe that for a second. Just yesterday I cleaned out the extraordinarily vile bottom of Arthur's miscellaneous chest using this spell and it worked a treat. He thought for a moment before finishing, One downside: Leaves an odd sulphurous odour after use. Better not to use on clothing and/or self.

-so completely recommend, Arthur finds Merlin’s magic book with merlin’s handwriting in it. Wish we could have seen Arthur’s thoughts but that’s my only complaint

Radioman

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

-ok so this is a series, EXTREMELY long. I gotta admit I haven’t finished it yet but everything I read has been downright amazing.

The Crown of the Summer Court

The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."

-right, so I am not only recommending this fic, I recommend any and all Merlin fics written by the author. She is downright AMAZING. Like, one of the best fics I’ve read amazing. Maybe THE best.

Three Tasks

Arthur is the Royal Arbiter for Suitable Suitors' Disputes. He (and his trusty companion, the golden-dragon-tasselled hat) alone can determine who is fit to woo royal servants and other assorted courtiers in Uther's court.

(In light of the sentence above, the following may not appear to be a truthful statement, but: not as cracky as that makes it sound. Really.)

This time: Arthur arbitrates a dispute (with heretofore unforeseen wisdom); Merlin observes.

-weird concept, but very good. I could really imagine being in Arthur’s head, it sounded just like him. And it kinda humanizes Uther, which is really hard to do.

The Pendragon Guide to How Not to Date

Modern day student AU. Still set in Britain. Morgana sends Arthur on some blind dates that don’t go quite according to plan

-warning. Smut. Liked it, was more fluff then plot, but seriously adorable

The student prince

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

This story was inspired by the thought of Prince William of Wales (and indeed the current Max von Hapsburg) studying at the University of St Andrews; it is also, as the title suggests, at least a little inspired by the operetta 'The Student Prince'.

-so I don’t really go for modern day royalty much, but this was really good. There is a plot, though it revolves mostly around the merthur romance. Reads like a romance novel.

Two Weeks Notice

Arthur is a prattish Executive VP of the Pendragon Corporation with a disturbingly non-ironic love of Demotivational posters. Merlin is a tree-hugging barista with a "magic" tongue. Morgana's a peeping Tom and her breasts have superpowers. Gwen and Lancelot get married. Owain is the company bicycle. Arthur attempts to steal Merlin's affections from Will through epic DDR combat. Merlin gets drunk a lot. There is a pillow fight, and a helicopter ride, and rooftop confessions, and Arthur decides Merlin really is his destiny, whether he likes it or not.

-it’s like if you took the Merlin story and set it in modern times. Like, almost exactly. There are plot differences of course but it just feels like Merlin. well, if it was ‘stop killing the planet’ instead of ‘stop killing sorcerers’ and Arthur was prince of a company instead of a kingdom.

Harmonia Mundiais

Music has always been the centre of Merlin’s reality, and the idea of silence is unimaginable. But when Camelot is deafening, Arthur is distracting and the dragon is utterly unhelpful, will his gift turn out to be a blessing or a curse?

-the ultimate concept , takes the music instead of magic idea and makes it music is magic, like literally. Amazing. It does do this thing where Merlin gives off this kind of innocent thought process? It’s not a bad thing, it just gives this idea that Merlin prioritizes this music in his head and on a subconscious level he can’t understand how others can’t hear it, though he knows they just don’t.

Stars Above, Stones Below

After the disastrous end of his betrothal to Gwen and the regret of his offer to Princess Mithian, Arthur swears off finding a wife until he's ready to wed. When Merlin offers himself to Arthur as bedmate, Arthur suggests they hand-fast in secret for a single year of mutual pleasure without obligation. As their year together unfolds, and secrets and betrayals unravel around them, Arthur and Merlin learn there is no such thing as uncomplicated pleasure. Everything they thought they knew can change in the span of a single year.

-smuuuuuut happens. Magic reveal is good, lobe how it handled the Gwen banishment thing

send me any awesome merthur fics not on the list!