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themusingsofthemind · 1 day ago
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It had been so long since that day.
The day the crows came, the day when all of my problems seemed to swallow me whole and take control of my life. Though i should note it was not in that order, nor was one the cause of the other.
Allow me to explain.
I had been set for a promotion, my girlfriend of three years had just proposed a year prior, and wedding planning could not have gone smoother. Not to mention I had a wonderful group of friends who understood me and my…demeanor.
I’d always been deemed “dark” or “apathetic” but my fiancée understood me in ways others couldn’t, and my friends were able to look past it and see the humor in my cutting words.
It started with a single text message.
DENIED
The promotion I had works so hard for? Given to the man I trained.
DELAYED
The wedding we had been planning? Postponed until my fiancée got back from her deployment overseas.
DISMISSED
And those friends? Ghosted me as soon as my fiancée left and wasn’t able to be a buffer.
With no fiancée here for support, no friends, and no job after I filed a complaint, I was broke and struggling to pay my bills.
Leaving me, a weeping, hiccuping, disaster of a woman sitting on our back porch with a 2/3-empty bottle of Prosecco and a half-eaten cheese tray from Walmart. I don’t know how long I was out there before they showed up.
“CAW” “CAW CAW”
A murder of crows stood in front of where I sat, staring at my mess of a self while I stared back in stupefied wonderment. Since I was young, I loved the dark and foreboding birds, and I had always remembered the mimicked voice after the day I rescued one from a clothesline.
“We…wiLl…ReTurN…ThE…faVoR…”
I laugh, a bit hysterically, and smile as kindly as I can while wiping my face. “Welcome”
The one closest to me tilts its head before cawing, and many of the murder step forward, dropping crumpled pieces of paper at my feet.
No. Not paper.
“Holy shit”
The closest one hopped closer, that same mimicked voice cawing, more clear than before,
“Crows take shiny…Human save crow…crow give human-shiny…”
And off they flew, leaving the pile of crumpled balls of green paper, emblazoned with numbers and faces. Money.
My heart leapt when the same murder left another pile the next day, and the next, and the next, until months had passed, glorious months where I didn’t have to worry about my bills or expenses, and I could talk with them if I ever needed an ear.
And when my fiancée finally came home? Our wedding went off without a hitch, the murder circling us overhead as we became wife and wife
You once saved a Crow from dying as a child. Even now that you are an adult, you still remember the Crow's words after you set it free back to its murder, "We… wiLL… RETurN… ThE… FAVor…"
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rafesslxt · 3 days ago
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unknown number
pt. 1/2
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SUMMARY: not only you are surprised when you get a drunk text from your brother that you should pick him up from a party - Topper's just as shocked as you are.
WARNINGS: Thornton!reader, brothers best friend trope, bickering, tension, quick deep talk with Topper
WORD COUNT: 1,7k
NOTE: english is not my first language | thank‘s to everyone for reading and supporting, comments and - are highly apprecaiated <3
🥥 🍋‍🟩 𓇼 ⋆。˚ 𓆝⋆。˚ 𓇼 🥭 🍍
Your body tried to make its way through the sweaty crowd dancing and drinking around you, the air thick with the scent of weed and expensive perfume. This wasn't on your agenda for tonight, getting your drunk brother out of a party, that's for sure.
"Hey sis, can u get me? I'm drunk as hell."
You weren't surprised, though. After Sarah had ditched him for John B, which was more than understandable for you but hey – Topper never wanted to listen to your advice, he seemed to try drowning the pain and hurt ego away by drinking and smoking.
The house you currently were in was familiar to you. Since Sarah's your best friend you spend a lot of time here but never during these party's, cause most of the time Rafe was the host and well - let's just say you tried to avoid any chance of being in a room with him together.
Because besides the hatred for their sister's trying to live the pogue life, Topper and Rafe had one thing more in common. They fell for the sister of their best friend. The only problem was, that Rafe never acted on his feeling. While Topper may be a complete idiot, he at least showed Sarah some kind of feelings, trying to wrap her around his fingers. But for Rafe? Bickering and hating was his way.
But Rafe apparently had a new way of drawing you into his space.
"Hey, did you see Topper?" You asked a guy which's name you could never remember no matter how often your brother tried to tell you. You just knew he often hang with them together. "No, sorry. Ask Rafe, he was with him a while ago." You instantly rolled your eyes but smiled at him and nodded in a way that was supposed to tell him 'thank you'.
You made your way further through the people until you reached the living room where you saw Rafe sitting on the couch, talking to two girls on either side of him.
Not bothering that you may interrupted something, you walked up behind him, not even caring enough to wait until he might realize you were standing behind him. "Have you seen my brother? He told me to come pick him up."
You looked down at his head which bend until it laid against the backrest, his pretty blue eyes meeting yours. Pretty ? No, you meant blue. Just blue.
"Oh If it isn't the princess of the Pogues, gracing us with her presence this night.", his voice dripped with sarcasm. "And to what do we owe this unexpected visit?" You rolled your eyes at his irritating words and crossed your arms in front of your chest. "Did you see Topper, Rafe?", you repeated.
His smile widened before he sat upright again, took a beer that was probably his from the desk, turned around and locked eyes with you again, walking around the couch towards you.
"Someone's in a grumpy mood today." he remarked, taking a sip of his beer. "Rafe If you don't-" "No need to be so uptight princess. The party just stared." You scoffed. "Well, apparently not If my brother's texting me to come pick his drunk ass up."
"Give him some time, he's trying to heal from a heartbreak. I mean I told him my sister is never hanging around for long but- well you know him. Had to try for himself."
You were slowly getting tired of the conversation and Rafe seemed to notice. "And as for where your brother is; I saw him with Kelce in the kitchen a few minutes ago. Just before you arrived, I think."
Without giving him a second more of your time, you turned around, walking towards the kitchen. Why didn't he just tell you 'Hey, Topper is in the kitchen.' ? Why does he always have to bicker with you and beat around the bush. Ugh.
Sarah always said he liked you but before Rafe Cameron actually had serious feelings for you or even anyone, hell would freeze over.
You walked into the kitchen of the Cameron's, immediately spotting your brother and Kelce, laughing loudly between some shots they were taking.
"Wow. You're really setting the bar lower and lower." You scoffed, making their heads turn towards you. "Y/n? What are you doing here? Aren't you with your little friends?" "Oh, hey pipsqueak." Kelce chuckled from behind Topper, waving at you with a drunken grin.
"Come on Topper, I don't have all night." I sighed, already about to leave the kitchen when he looked at me as If I had torn apart his favorite teddy bear apart that he hid under his bed whenever someone came over. "What the hell are you talking about?" "What the hell do you mean what the hell I'm talking about? You texted me to come pick you up because you're too drunk."
Just as he was about to answer, Rafe entered the kitchen and stood beside you. "Topper, why don't you listen to your sister and go with her, you've had enough for tonight."
Feeling betrayed, Topper was too stunned to speak, looking at Kelce for some backup. "Hey man don't get me into this." he replied to his look, throwing up his hands and spilling some of the liquid that was inside his shot glass.
"I didn't text you!" he exclaimed, reached into his pocket and searching for his phone. "Shit.. can't find it." You rolled your eyes, your patience slowly but clearly wearing off. "Topper.." "I swear I didn't!", he swore while continuing to search the insides of his few pockets. "Damn no really, where is it?", he asked himself.
"Come on man." Kelce chuckled and threw an arm around his friend, slowly guiding him outside the kitchen and towards the front door where you parked your car.
You stepped aside to let them pass, your gaze landing on Rafe who was already looking at you, licking his bottom lip before speaking. "Here." He reached into his pocket and handed you Topper's phone. "What? Why do you have my brother's phone ?", you asked him, as It didn't hit you yet what was going in.
"Thought he might need someone to pick him up before he would be a complete mess.", he chuckled, shrugging his shoulders and looking away for a short moment.
Your eyebrows shot up as the realization finally hit you."You texted me to come pick him up? Why would you do that?" He chuckled and looked down at you. " Like I said; I was worried about my friend." "Bullshit.", you called him out right away. "If you were worried about him, you would have told me where he was instead of beating around the bush."
"Just wanted some conversation." he replied simply, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes while doing so, trying not to let him get under your skin. It would only please him.
"Good night, Rafe." you smiled at him before turning around and pushing through sweaty crowd again, reaching your car where Kelce and Topper were already waiting for you.
You pressed the little button on your car key, allowing them to get in while you were still a few meters away. Kelce jumped into the back seat, and Topper settled next to you in the front.
You slid behind the wheel and closed your door, glancing over your shoulder at Topper’s friend. “Should I drive you home too?” you asked, reaching for your seatbelt and securing it right after.
“Sure thing, pipsqueak,” he grinned, his eyes heavy and his body slumping down onto the back seat. You rolled your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time in the last thirty minutes and started the engine, pulling away from the property.
A few minutes into the drive, you looked over to your right. “You’re lucky. Mom and Dad aren’t home tonight,” you smirked slowly, trying to lighten the mood since he was still your annoying brother. Annoying, but family.
A scoff escaped his lips as he stared out the window. “As if they’re ever home.” 
You sighed quietly, shrugging your shoulders. “Well, it’s still better than having to explain why you’re drunk and high.” 
“They wouldn’t understand anyway. They never do. All they do is scream and complain. They don’t care.” He turned his head toward you, studying your face. “But honestly, I don’t know which one of us they’re more disappointed in,” he chuckled.
“Yeah… Mom’s worried I’m drinking myself into a coma, while Dad is worried you’ll run off with Maybank or some other pogue.” The car fell silent for a moment before you both erupted into unexpected laughter. 
"Honestly, I don’t know which one is worse,” you giggled, gripping the wheel a little tighter as you turned onto your street. "Not sure who's setting the bar lower now, huh?" Topper smirked.
“I guess we should take him with us tonight before his parents have a heart attack,” you suggested, nodding toward Kelce, who was snoring in the back seat.
“Yeah…” he glanced at his friend and then back at you. “Thank you for picking me up, even though I didn’t text you. It’s good to know I can still count on you.” He smiled softly at you, placing his hand on your shoulder.
"No problem, Topper." you smiled back at him before turning off your car and finally parked in your garage. "Let‘s get him inside.", you grinned, eager to get out like Topper, when your phone suddenly vibrated in your purse.
Hm, probably the pogues asking If everything‘s alright after you left so quick with only telling them it‘s an 'family emergency'.
You opened your little white purse Sarah had given you on your last birthday and rummaged through it, fishing out your phone. You had a few messages from JJ and Sarah, asking you when - wait.
What was that? A message by an unknown number.
unknown number
i took the liberty of grabbing your number while I had the chance to.
was nice seeing you tonight, hot and bothered like always..
sweets dreams, angel.
xx rafe
That son of a - wait, why were you smiling together with your heart beating faster ?
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masterlist | taglist | navigation | valentines day special
tags: @supernaturaldawning @cardibre91 @aegonsslxt @juliet-017
xoxo sarah <3
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aaagustd · 2 days ago
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friends & lovers | jww (m)
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title: friends & lovers pairing: jeon wonwoo x female reader genre/rating: fluff, smut, best friends to lovers,  idiots to lovers; 18+ summary: Sometimes the love you’re searching for has been right beside you all along. Patience is the key…the right moment will present itself eventually. wc: 2.2k warnings: swearing, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill), restraints (wrist pinning), grinding/dry humping, clit stimulation, slight orgasm control, cumshots, crying, begging, soft sex, pet names, nipple play, cum play, aftercare release date: february 9th, 2025; 9:23pm est author’s note: Hello!! This was a bday gift I wrote for @beomcoups a while back. Huge shoutout to @hobeemin for beta reading it for me at the time. I’m currently moving all of my old content here, so if you’ve read this before don’t be alarmed lol. I’m the original author.
playlist: My Boo by Usher ft. Alicia Keys | Focus by NCT 127 | ‘bout you by Seventeen | Let Me Hold You by Bow Wow ft. Omarion  | Tonight I Celebrate My Love by Peabo Bryson & Roberta Flack | Candy by Baekhyun | By My Side by JUNNY | Boo’d Up by Ella Mai | Like You by Ciara & Bow Wow
masterlist | inbox | join my taglist | read on wattpad | read on ao3 | divider credit
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“People are staring at us.”
You both giggle as the carousel makes its final round, shyly peeking over your shoulders at the crowd of people watching you. Somehow, Wonwoo managed to get the ride operator to start it up with just you two on. 
Both of you hopped from seat to seat like you used to do when you were kids, and your parents had to threaten to take you home if you didn’t remain seated. Although you’re adults now, you’re still fond of the old habit.
“So, let them,” you shrug. “Maybe they’ve got eyes for the cutie on the horse.”
“Can you stop?”
Wonwoo throws his head back when he laughs and clutches his stomach, giving you a glimpse of the smile you haven’t seen in months.
Ever since he and his girlfriend broke things off, he’s been cooped up in his apartment, feeling down and not wanting to be bothered. You’re glad he accepted your offer to go to the fair and take his mind off things. He says he’s fine and looks better than he did five months ago, but you know that something’s still bothering him, and you hope that tonight you can dig deep enough to find it.
“Why would I? This is fun.” 
You both step off as the ride stops, feeling high with adrenaline. Suddenly, you feel his fingertips at your sides, and he playfully tickles you, making you shriek and squirm. 
“Wonwoo!”
On-lookers coo and clutch their chest, mainly older couples and romantics. Neither of you even notices the admiration they have in their eyes until someone grabs your attention.
“You two are such a beautiful couple. May my husband and I have a picture with you? You just remind us of our younger selves,” a lady in her golden years asks with a genuine smile.
Immediately, you begin to break the news to her, but Wonwoo interferes.
“Oh, ma’am, we’re not—”
“Sure! I’ll take it. I have long arms,” he insists, taking her phone when she hands it to him. Wonwoo throws his arm over your shoulder and holds it high enough to capture all four of you. He takes the picture but doesn’t stop there. “Now one for us.”
After returning the woman’s phone to her and her husband, he pulls his device from his pocket and takes another, but this time he brings you in a bit closer. He wraps his arm around you a little tighter and whispers in your ear as he snaps the picture.
“For new memories,” he says to you.
You release a shaky breath when you disperse, and you can’t do anything but smile and wave as the couple bids their farewells. 
You never could explain the butterflies in your stomach whenever Wonwoo would be so close to you in that way. It always seems so intimate, but you wouldn’t dare say it out loud. You know it’s only those buried feelings that are causing you to react this way and nothing you should feed into.
When you’re finally alone, you turn to him and ask, “So, what now? Are you ready to go?”
“A little bit,” he answers. 
“Well, don’t let me hold you up. I’m probably just gonna go grab something to eat until my roommate’s done fucking her boyfriend. I had fun, so thanks for coming—”
You pause when Wonwoo shakes his head.
“I said I was ready to leave here,” he informs. “Not leave you.”
“Oh, okay. So umm, where do you wanna go?”
“Aren’t you hungry?” he quizzes. “We can go grab something.”
You open your mouth to speak, but he continues.
“Or…we can meet at my place, and we can order something. You can stay over if you want.”
“Really?”
“Yup. I don’t mind,” he assures.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you—”
Your mouth shuts when he gives you a look, but your smile grows when he turns away and starts walking toward the parking lot.
Both of you get in your vehicles and drive towards his apartment, the tingling sensation still coursing through your veins. You try your best to calm yourself before you get there, but as you get out of your car, your legs are wobbly and shaky, indicating that you are far from okay.
Wonwoo turns to you as his door opens.
“Wanna shower?”
Gratefully, you sigh. “Yes, please.”
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After a shower, slices of pizza, and a couple of movies, you and Wonwoo lay awkwardly in his bed. Both of you scroll through your phones, trying to ignore the thick tension in the air. There’s something on his tongue; you can hear it. You want to ask him, but you don’t know how.
Eventually, you start to believe it’s just your nerves. You haven’t hung out like this since before his two-year-long relationship, so you figure you just need some re-adjusting. You wiggle your way towards him so you can familiarize yourself with the feeling of being so close to him.
It isn’t long before his fingers start playing in your hair, making your eyes slightly heavy. You roll over on your back so you can look at him and try to stop yourself from falling asleep so quickly.
His smile greets you and leaves you slightly curious.
“What?” you giggle.
“Nothing, I was just thinking.”
“About?”
He sighs. “I missed you. That’s all.”
When his eyes begin to wander, you follow them once they’ve set on a particular sight. It just happens to be your thighs, and you start tugging down your borrowed shirt upon the discovery.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, more to himself than anything.
You clear your throat. “Wonwoo, I’m glad you’re feeling like yourself again, but I don’t think I can be your rebound. I’m not—”
“What? No, love. It’s definitely not like that. It’s just…Fuck it.” He shifts in his spot so he can speak to you face to face, leaving you no option but to look at him, even though you’ve been avoiding eye contact since you got here. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“It’s about the breakup…why it happened,” he explains.
You blink a few times. You never knew the reason behind the split or how it happened; it wasn’t your place to ask. Now that he’s finally telling you, there’s an uneasy feeling growing inside of you.
“We broke up because we liked other people. She wasn’t over her ex, and I…”
“And you?...”
He takes a deep breath as if he’s about to lay it all on the table.
“I had to be honest with myself and admit that I’m really in love with my best friend,” he confesses.
Your eyes widen, lips ready to run a mile a minute, but he speaks before you do.
“I thought about this before, but the timing was just never right. And now…” he sighs. “I don’t know. I just feel like we’re on the same page, but then again, you’re looking at me like I’m crazy.”
“Wonwoo, I—”
“I know. You don’t feel the same.”
The disappointment in his voice gives you all the courage you need to come clean, and you do so before you can change your mind.
“I do feel the same,” you admit. “I’ve loved you since we were teenagers. I just never knew how to tell you.”
He seems a little shocked after hearing this.
“Really?” Wonwoo asks, his thumb tracing circles on your hand.
“Yeah.”
Your best friend just stares at you, not saying anything. You hold his gaze and never break eye contact. Moments go by like this, until eventually, his lips begin to hover over yours. They become more inviting the longer you lay there waiting for something to happen.
However, Wonwoo toughens up and makes the first move on your behalf. His mouth presses against yours delicately, and he lowers his body so that you can run your hands through his hair.
You envelop each other and get lost within the first shared kiss between two best friends who have been denying their love for one another for over a decade. The pit of your stomach goes into a frenzy as the butterflies rise and flutter wildly.
Dizziness clouds your mind as you’re swept away by the feeling. You’re light as a feather, so high that coming down seems impossible. 
It doesn’t help that Wonwoo’s lips have become greedier, and his desire is growing by the second. Your legs part to allow him in the space, and he takes the opportunity instantly. Your wrists get pinned above your head while he slowly begins to grind his crotch against yours.
A moan slips out, and he takes the chance to invade your mouth with his thick muscle. Your tongues begin exploring each other’s crevice, and you become drunk off his taste. You can’t get enough of him but the need for oxygen exceeds your lust-driven fantasies.
“I want you,” you say without much thought. Your breathing is labored and rough, but you still try to speak.  “I need you.”
“Fuck, same. But…”
“But what?”
Wonwoo shakes his head. “No condoms.”
His voice oozes with need, and his bulge is straining against his shorts. He’s as desperate as you are, but he’s trying to hold back.
“We’re good on this end. It’s okay,” you assure him. “Are you?...”
He nods. “Yes, of course. I haven’t since…”
“Well, can we?” you try again. “Please?”
“Okay, baby.”
Wonwoo lets go of your wrists and pulls down his shorts, letting his dick spring out freely. A small gasp escapes you when his length slaps your thigh. You lift your head to see it and instantly become mesmerized by its girth. You crave it and want it to fill every inch of you just like you’ve always fantasized about in your room alone.
“Like what you see?” He smirks when you nod and starts to run the tip up and down your slit, coating it with your arousal and secretly stimulating your throbbing clit. “Let’s see if you can take it.”
When he slowly enters you, your mind goes completely blank. You arch into him as he bottoms out, and he holds you and places kisses up your neck.
“Wonwoo,” you call, and he smiles against your skin.
“Ready for me?”
“Yes, please. I want to feel you.”
Wonwoo’s movements start strong, and he makes sure to hold you in place while he thrusts into you, preventing you from flying off the bed. You cry his name over and over with each powerful snap of his hips.
He lifts your shirt and exposes your breasts to his greedy mouth, taking his time with each stiffened peak and making your eyes roll back from the multiple sources of pleasure you’re receiving. 
The coil inside you tightens until it can no longer stand the pressure, and you blurt out a warning to inform Wonwoo of your orgasm.
“Wonwoo, I’m so close!”
“Me too, baby,” he moans in your ear. You run your nails down his sweaty back to ground yourself because it feels like your soul will leave your body any minute. Wonwoo goes deeper and deeper until you can no longer stand the build-up growing inside of you. “Come for me, sweetheart.”
And on his command, your body gives in, and the pleasure takes over you. Tears roll down your cheeks, but Wonwoo kisses you before the salty droplets can reach your trembling lips. Your entire body is set aflame by the heat coursing through you. The intense feeling leaves you a panting mess beneath Wonwoo, and you just lay there as he fucks you through the rest of your orgasm until he finally reaches his release.
“Fuck, where can I?”
“Anywhere you want,” you answer. “I don’t mind.”
He can only nod as he pulls out and paints your stomach with his warm cum. Wonwoo uses the tip to smear his arousal and spell his name on your skin, making you giggle and slap his arm.
“You’re nasty,” you tell him.
“Anywhere you want… I don’t mind,” he mocks but still leans down to kiss you. 
You pout when he pulls away and disappears into his bathroom for about a minute. When he returns, you’re grateful to see him with a warm washcloth and a new shirt for you. He cleans you up and helps you change before he turns out the lights and joins you in bed. Neither of you say anything at first, but eventually, he can’t hold his tongue anymore.
“I really am in love with you. I would have never done this had you not asked. You’re more than a rebound—”
“I know that, Wonwoo. We’re good, okay?”
You turn on your side so you can hug him, and he nestles in your embrace.
“So, are we keeping this a secret or…?”
You release a breath before you answer, absentmindedly playing in his brown locks. You think about your answer for a moment, and then you reply.
“As much as I want to keep you all to myself… I’ve waited all my life to call you my boyfriend.”
“So what does that mean?” he asks shyly.
“It means…” You tilt his head so he can look at you. “If anyone asks, I’ll tell them the truth.”
Wonwoo smirks at you and returns to his position buried in your chest. He whispers as he drifts into his slumber.
“That’s my girl.”
And you couldn’t agree more.
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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 3 days ago
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When You Call Them Clingy| Hyungline Pt3
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Hyungline x Gn!Reader
(i was supposed to release this yesterday but things came up im sor sorry its late but here you go!!! idk how i feel about this :/)
Bangchan
The night air was cool as you walked into the dimly lit bar, Felix by your side, his expression a mixture of concern and forced cheer. You had told Chan that you had plans- and wouldn’t lie to him- and that meant actually going through with your impulsive decision to make plans.
So, here you were, out with Felix, pretending that the weight in your chest wasn’t getting heavier with every minute that passed.
Felix had noticed, of course. He always did. “Are you sure you’re up for this?” he asked, voice soft. "Maybe you can-"
You forced a smile, waving him off. “Yeah, of course. I need a distraction.”
But the more you drank, the more you realized it wasn’t a distraction at all. Every sip burned, and every moment you weren’t thinking about Chan consciously was just a moment your subconscious filled with the memory of his face. His voice. The way he had shut you out completely after you made such a careless comment.
Meanwhile, across town, Chan sat in the corner of him an Jeongin’s apartment, drink in hand, gaze distant. Jisung had been invited over as well to have a few drinks and relax, since Chan also felt uneasy with the excuse he had made. Both boys sensed that something was off, but neither of them asked, just quietly sipping their drinks.
Until finally they couldn't take it anymore.
“You good, hyung?” Jisung finally asked, watching Chan down another shot.
Chan huffed a quiet laugh, rubbing his face. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Jeongin raised a brow. “You sure about that?”
Chan didn’t answer. He just stared at the ice in his glass, swirling it absentmindedly. The alcohol was dulling the ache in his chest, but only slightly. He had been pushing himself to stop thinking about you, to accept that you needed space, but it wasn’t working.
Not when his mind kept replaying the way you had looked at him before you left. The way your voice had sounded too quiet when you said goodnight.
The way it had sounded angry when you called him clingy.
Did he really do too much? What if-
Then his phone vibrated.
Felix.
Chan frowned, answering quickly. “Lix?”
“Hyung,” Felix said, exhaling sharply. “I need you to come get Y/N.”
Chan sat up immediately. “Who? You're with Y/N?" 
Was Y/N originally planning to hang out with Lix?...I thought they had just made an excuse-
Felix hesitated, his voice tight. “Y/Ns…not doing great- won't let me help-" Chris struggled to hear over the noise of the bar.  "-keeps pushing me away, saying they don’t want me to be ‘clingy'- out of -mind and refuses to- help them- get home.”
Chan felt the words like a slap to the face. His chest constricted, at the thought of you being drunk out of your mind.
“I’ll be there in ten,” he said, already grabbing his jacket. “Send me the location.” He stood up abruptly and wobbled slightly.
Jisung and Jeongin exchanged a look before quickly standing as well. “We’re coming with you,” Jeongin said firmly. "I'll drive, you drank more than either of us."
(For legal purposes disclaimer: y'all do NOT drink and drive. it's dangerous and can have serious repercussions. always try your best to have a sober friend around as well, in case of emergency)
Jeongin snatched Chris's key's and they all hopped into the car.
You tended to worry him when you were drunk, and he wasn't sure what to expect.
The drive felt agonizingly long. The alcohol still buzzed faintly in Chan’s system, but the moment he heard Felix’s voice and heard that you were in trouble - or causing trouble maybe -he sobered up fast. His heart pounded against his ribs as worry gnawed at his insides.
The second they stepped into the bar, his eyes scanned the room until he found you. And his breath caught in his throat.
You were sitting at a table, arms crossed tightly over your chest, brows furrowed as Felix spoke to you softly as he patted your back. But it was clear you weren’t listening. Your eyes were glassy, and your lips were pursed like you were trying not to cry as you shook your head, then slamming it onto the table like an angry toddler.
Felix noticed them first, exhaling in relief. “Thank God,” he muttered.
Chan wasted no time. He was at your side in an instant, crouching down so he was at eye level. “Y/N.”
Your head snapped toward him, and for a moment, your expression flickered with something so raw, so vulnerable, that it made his chest ache. But then your lips wobbled, and you hiccuped, looking away. “Go away.”
Chan’s jaw tightened. “Not happening, baby. Come on, let’s get you home.”
You shook your head stubbornly. “No.”
"You're being a pain, Y/N-ie. To Felix of all people do you want to upset him?"
Chan glanced at Felix, who gave him a knowing look. Felix wasn’t upset- he understood. It wasn’t that you didn’t want help. You just didn’t want it from anyone who wasn’t Chan.
You still stubbornly shook your head so Chan looked at Jisung who nodded.
Jisung sighed, mocking anger and crossing his arms. “Y/N you're being difficult, we can do it the easy way or the hard way. Or do you want to make us upset and disappointed?”
The moment Jisung spoke, you immediately nodded, causing a chuckle from the boys. "Okay, I'll listen."
The boys had long since known Jisung was your first bias, and that was often used for leverage in situations like these, when you're brain was too fogged to do much other that realize you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of someone you admired. 
Carefully, Chan reached out, his fingers grazing your wrist. “Y/N,” he murmured, softer now. “Ready now?”
At that, your whole body seemed to deflate. Your lips trembled, and your eyes welled up with tears. “I was mean to you,” you whispered.
Chan exhaled softly, still caressing your wrist. “I know.”
“I didn’t mean it.” You whimpered.
“I know,” he said again, this time even softer.
Your face crumpled. “I’m sorry.”
Chan sighed, his chest tightening unbearably. “Let’s get you home, yeah?”
This time, you didn’t fight him. You let him help you up, let him guide you out of the bar, his arm steady around your waist. The moment you were outside, the cool air hit you, and your steps wobbled. Chan adjusted his grip, holding you closer.
“I miss you,” you mumbled into his shoulder. Wiping your snot on him.
Chan swallowed hard. “I’m right here.” He noticed your were wiping your nose on him and he rolled his eyes lovingly. "You need a tissue?"
“You were mad,” you said, your voice tiny.
“I was hurt,” he corrected gently. “But I wasn’t mad.” He helped you get into the back seat of the car. "Sometimes, we just have to learn to handle our emotions a bit better. After some thought, I know we both could have reacted in better ways. I should have told you how I felt, and you should have told me how you felt. I know you were upset and didn't mean it, but it doesn't take away any of the hurt Y/N. I 'cling' to you because I'm deeply in love with you.
Your fingers clutched at his sleeve. “Are you leaving me?” You said looking up at him with wide eyes.
Chan paused buckling you in. His eyes widened as he turned to look at your face fully. “What?”
“You’re not gonna leave me, right?” you whispered, your voice thick with tears. “I feel so bad, Chris. I don’t want you to go.”
Chan exhaled slowly. He wanted to be frustrated with you- wanted to tell you how much you had hurt him, how dismissing his care had stung. But looking at you now, your face scrunched up in guilt, your body trembling slightly from the alcohol and the weight of your emotions…he just couldn’t.
Instead, he finished buckling you in and slid next to you and pulled you into him, his head resting atop your head. “I’m not leaving you,” he murmured. “You’re stuck with me, okay?”
You sniffled against his chest. “Promise?”
His grip tightened. “Promise.”
Jisung and Jeongin exchanged a glance but said nothing. Felix let out a quiet sigh of relief as he climbed in the back with you two.
"You're not clingy." You said quietly on the ride back. "I was upset but you're not clingy."
Chan hmmed in acknowledgement, petting your hair.
You scooted closer to him, burying yourself into him even more.
"Can I be clingy though?" You muttered sleepily, eyes fluttering to a close.
"That's all I want." He murmured quietly, kissing the top of your head.
"I love you." 
"I love you."
As Chan held you close, feeling the tension in your body slowly begin to ease, he knew one thing for certain: no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere. And so he squeezed you a bit tighter, clung to you.
And as you drifted off into sleep you realized- 
How could you ever think you didn't want this?
——————————————————————————
Minho
The moment you got home, you regretted running away. The sinking feeling in your stomach wouldn’t let up, and your mind kept replaying the scene over and over. The way Minho looked at you- shocked, maybe even a little hurt- made you feel even worse.
You curled up on your bed, hugging your knees to your chest, guilt weighing you down like a stone. He deserved to be heard. You had made a mess of things, and now, if you wanted to fix it, you had to be the one to take the first step.
The next morning, you gathered your courage and went back to his apartment. Your heart pounded as you stood in front of his door, staring at the keypad, remembering how easily you had let yourself in the night before. This time, you knocked.
A moment later, the door opened, revealing a very tired-looking Minho. His hair was disheveled, his eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn’t slept much. When he saw you, his lips parted slightly, surprise flickering across his face before he stepped aside wordlessly to let you in.
You hesitated for a moment but stepped inside, greeted by the familiar scent of his apartment. The cats lounged around lazily, their tails flicking as they acknowledged your presence. The silence between you and Minho stretched, thick with unspoken words.
You turned to face him, gathering every ounce of courage you had. “I’m sorry.”
Minho’s brows furrowed slightly, his lips pressing into a thin line. “For what exactly?”
“For everything.” You exhaled shakily. “For calling you clingy when you were just being sweet, for lashing out at you because I was feeling insecure. And for last night- for not even giving you a chance to explain.”
Minho sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You really hurt me, Y/N.”
“I know.” Your voice cracked. “And I hate that I did. I-” You swallowed. “I saw you with her and I just- jumped to the worst conclusion....”
He studied you for a moment, arms crossed, his gaze softer now but still guarded. "So...that is what you thought." He said quietly.
You blinked and nodded. "I...know you wouldn't though. I was emotional and I...don't..." You swallowed, trying to blink back tears.
Minho sighed and crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorframe to the living room. “You should’ve asked instead of assuming.”
“I should have.” You nodded. “Who...was she?” You asked quietly, feeling your face burn from embarrassment of still being wary.
He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “My old neighbor. I asked her to watch the cats.”
Your eyes widened. “What?”
He let out a small sigh, then motioned for you to sit on the couch. You followed hesitantly, your heart still racing.
“I was planning something for us,” he admitted. “A trip. I wanted it to be a surprise, but I needed someone to take care of the cats while we were gone.”
Your breath hitched. “A trip?”
Minho nodded, his expression unreadable, but his jaw twitching. “Yeah. Because I love you, and I wanted to spend time with you. But then you called me clingy and started avoiding me, and I thought…maybe you didn’t want that.”
Guilt surged through you so strongly it made your chest ache. “Minho…”
He met your gaze, something raw in his eyes. “I know that I was the first one to...shut down or...seek space; but you were the one pulling away. I was just trying to hold on. And forget what you said...”
Tears pricked at your eyes. “I didn't mean that Minho. I know nothing can take those words back, but I truly truly didn't mean it.” you whispered.
"I don't..." Minho sighed. "I don't act...this way with others. I don't really like all the mushy stuff but with you...it's different. Its like...I have to do all that stuff because I love you so much that it physically pains me not to show you just how much you mean..."
"Min..."
"So when you said that it made me think maybe you didn't want my love. That maybe...it was a burden to you."
"It's not!" You shout, making Minho jump slightly. "It's not at all. If anything I'm the burden for making things so difficult."
"You'll never be a burden to me Y/N. You just need to tell me when things are getting too hard so I can adjust my love language during those times. So we can avoid things like this, hm?" He lifted your face to look at him, slowly rubbing his thumb over your cheek. You nodded.
"You can be such a pain when your irritated you know, that?" He teased, his eyes narrowing.
"I was scared that I showed you I don’t deserve how much you love me. And that...you...”
Minho sighed before leaning forward, cupping your cheek gently, as he crashed his lips into your to shut you up.
“You can be scared, but don’t shut me out. Let me be scared with you if you are. And for the record you have nothing to be scared for. I'm clingy remember? What makes you think I'll let you go?"
A tear slipped down your cheek, and he wiped it away with his thumb. “I love you, Y/N. Even when you’re being a pain.”
A small, watery laugh left your lips. “I love you too."
He smirked slightly. “So, you ready for the trip?”
You blinked. “You still want to go?”
Minho scoffed. “Of course. I planned everything. It’d be a waste not to.”
"Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise." He said wiggling his eyebrows. "A very special surprise."
You pouted. "But I wanna know-"
He shushed you again with his lips, pushing you back onto the couch, and Dori's napping spot much to cat's dismay.
His hand entwined with yours, for a split second he played with your ring finger.
"You'll know soon enough, jagiya." He mumbled against your lips, his hand falling from yours to wrap around you waste as he lay on top of you. "But I missed you so let me just be with you in this moment."
He pulled you into his arms, his embrace warm and familiar, as he cuddled into you, and told you about everything that had happened recently; and for the first time in weeks, everything felt right again.
——————————————————————————
Changbin
You barely had time to process before you were rushing outside.
He was turned away from you completely. Your stomach dropped, and your hands instinctively reached out for him. "Changbin, wait!"
But he didn’t even try to continue walk away. Instead, his shoulders shook. His breath came out ragged, and when he turned back to you, his eyes were glossy, brimmed with unshed tears.
Your breath caught in your throat. "Bin...?"
You ran up to him and you started apologizing. 
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to steal your proposal or anything. I just wanted to apologize for snapping and calling you clingy-"
He let out a broken laugh, tears threatening to teeter over the edge, running a hand through his hair before looking at you with an expression so raw, so utterly vulnerable, that it made your chest pound. "You really think I’m upset because of that?"
Your brows furrowed. "Aren’t you? I- I took this from you. I ruined everything. I was so horrible-"
He cut you off with a shake of his head. "No, Y/N. God, no." He took in a shaking breath.
And then the first tear slipped down his cheek. Followed by the next, then the next.
Your heart clenched painfully at the sight, and you stepped closer, unsure if you should reach for him. He was crying. You had made him cry. And the thought of it made your own tears start to well in your eyes.
"Binnie, I-"
"You really don’t get it, do you?" His voice wavered. "I’m not crying because I’m upset. I’m crying because I love you so much that it makes me hurt to think about how you blamed yourself for all of this. That you thought the way to make it up to me was by planning your own proposal."
He let out another unsteady breath, wiping at his face roughly. "I don’t care about the proposal going wrong. I don’t care that you were overwhelmed or that we fought. I don't care enough about any of that to want an apology. I thought I did but being here I don't. I care that you thought for even a second that I would want you to feel this kind of guilt. I care that you thought I wouldn’t love you just as much, even after everything."
The weight of his words crashed into you all at once.
Tears slipped freely down your cheeks now, your throat tightening so much it was hard to breathe. "But I- I hurt you. I said awful things, I-"
"Yes, but seeing this-" He gestured towards your home. "I know you didn't mean it. We all say things when we're upset."
"But I do it so much-" You cried out.
"And I still love you, Y/N," he interrupted softly, stepping forward this time. "I still want to marry you. I still want every version of forever with you, no matter how messy it gets. I didn’t propose tonight because I thought it had to be perfect. I proposed tonight because I was ready. And I still am."
Your lips trembled, a sob catching in your throat as you reached for him, hands shaking when they met his chest. "Bin..."
He exhaled shakily, his hands coming up to cup your face. His thumbs brushed away your tears, his gaze searching yours as if to make sure you understood. "Don’t ever think that a bad night, a bad fight, or a bad moment could ever change the way I feel about you."
Your tears fell harder now, and a broken laugh slipped from your lips. "You’re supposed to be mad at me, and make me grovel and apologize 1000 times; not saying the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard."
He chuckled wetly, pulling you against him, his arms wrapping securely around you. " While I think that would be a sight to see I forgave you the moment everything happened. And I appreciate the apology Y/N-ie, I really do. But I could never stay mad at you. Not when I know how much you love me back."
You buried your face in his chest, clutching onto him like he was your lifeline. "I do. I love you so much, Binnie. And I’m so sorry."
He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your head. "I know. I know, baby. We can move past now."
For a long moment, you just stood there, wrapped up in each other, breathing in the warmth and comfort that only he could provide. And then, in the softest whisper, he murmured against your hair:
"Marry me, Y/N?"
You pulled back slightly, blinking up at him through tear-soaked lashes. "You...You’re still asking? Even after all of this?"
His smile was small but so full of love it nearly took your breath away. "I wanted to hear you say yes."
A watery laugh bubbled out of you, and you nodded, gripping his shirt tightly. "Yes. Yes, of course, I’ll marry you."
He pulled the ring out of his jacket pocket and placed it on your finger, disregarding the box somewhere on the pavement.
And then his lips were on yours, warm and insistent, tasting of salt and relief and love. So much love.
 It was filled with every emotion under the sun, everything you could ever want and need.
And it made you pull him closer, cling to him a little more.
It wasn’t a perfect proposal.
But it was yours
Which made it absolutely perfect in the end.
——————————————————————————
Hyunjin
Hyunjin practically sprinted from your apartment, his heart hammering against his ribs. The cold air bit at his skin, but the chill was nothing compared to the ice creeping up his spine.
Where could you have gone?
He checked the usual spots first. The small park you liked to sit at when you needed air, the café down the street where you drowned your bad moods in sweet drinks, even the bus stop in case you had the ridiculous idea of running away from your problems altogether.
But you weren’t at any of them.
Panic fully bloomed in his chest. He couldn’t lose you—not like this. His mind was already spinning in worst-case scenarios, every single possibility sharpening his anxiety into something unbearable. He pulled out his phone and called again. Straight to voicemail.
“Come on, Y/N, pick up,” he muttered, frustration and worry bleeding into his voice.
Then, a thought struck him.
He quickly searched up convenience stores near your apartment. 
You tended to like to stress snack, and if you had wandered off, there could be a good chance you wandered into a place filled with snacks.
He tried calling again; even though he was sure you wouldn't answer becuase it seems your phone was off. 
But much to his surprise there was an answer.
"Hello?"
Hyunjin didn't recognize the voice, but it sounded like an older gentleman.
"Who is this? Why do you have Y/N's phone?"
"Oh, I see. Their phone died, so I'm charging it."
The man had given Hyunjin the address of the store and he took off in that direction, his long legs eating up the distance, barely noticing the way his breath came out in sharp puffs. And then, as he rounded the last corner, he saw you.
Sitting by the window, a snack in your hand, your eyes lost in thought.
Relief hit him so hard he nearly staggered. His chest rose and fell as he tried to compose himself, to shake off the raw terror that had gripped him just moments before.
You were okay.
But God, he wasn’t.
The door chimed as he stepped inside. You looked up, startled, and your eyes went wide as they met his.
“Hyunjin-”
Before you could finish, he was in front of you, his hands cupping your face, looking at you all around his warmth enveloping you entirely. His brows were drawn together, his eyes dark and searching.
“Do you have any idea how scared I was?” he said, voice tight. “I came back and you were gone. Your phone was off. I thought-” He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “I thought something happened to you. Why are you even at a store this far from your home?”
Guilt curled deep in your gut. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just- I tried going after you and then my phone died, and I had taken a wrong turn and-”
Hyunjin let out a breath that was almost a laugh, but it was too shaky, too broken. He pulled back just enough to look at you properly, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones.
“You don’t get to disappear on me like that,” he murmured. “Not after what you said. Not after the way you made me feel.”
Your stomach twisted. “Hyunjin, I-”
“No, let me talk.” His voice was soft, but firm. “You hurt me, Y/N. You made me feel like I was too much, like the way I love you is suffocating.”
Your lips parted, a lump forming in your throat.
“But that’s just how I am,” he continued, his fingers tightening slightly against your skin. “When I care, I care with everything. I don’t know how to be any other way.” His voice cracked. “And for a second, you made me feel like that wasn’t enough. Or maybe…too much.”
Tears pricked at your eyes. “Hyunjin, I never meant to make you feel like that.”
He searched your face, his own emotions laid bare. “Then why did you say it?”
"I was upset. But after some thought..." You swallowed, forcing yourself to confront the truth. “I think I don't like change. And being cared for this much is new to me. So, I was irritated, and I used it as an excuse to say something I had been thinking. Because I think I'm scared,” you admitted. “Scared that if I let myself lean into it too much, I’d get used to it. That I’d get used to you being there, and then one day maybe you wouldn’t be, so I shouldn't let myself get used to it."
Hyunjin stood there blinking.
“I thought pushing you away would make it hurt less if that ever happened, And after today I realized that I was wrong. And I'm sorry.” you continued, voice shaking. “I'm sorry all I did was hurt you instead of expressing how I felt. Whether about the rough days or anxiety for the future. There are no excuses...”
A heavy silence stretched between you before he finally spoke.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly. “Not unless you tell me to. And even then, I’d probably still find a way to stay and cling to.”
A nervous laugh bubbled up in your throat.
"I mean it, Y/N. More than I've meant anything before." He sighed. "I wanted you to grovel and I was going to be all dramatic and everything but...I guess you just make me way too soft don't you?" He kissed your forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to cling to you. Even if you tell me not too."
You let out a full laugh now. “You’re persistent.”
“And you’re impossible,” he murmured, brushing a tear from your cheek. “But you’re mine. Right?”
You nodded, fresh guilt and love swelling in your chest. “I am. And I know I already said sorry but I really am. I’m so, so sorry, Hyunjin. For what I said, for making you feel like you weren’t enough. You are. You always have been.”
Hyunjin studied you for a moment before his lips quirked up just slightly. “You’re lucky I’m weak for you.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” you promised. “Whatever you want.”
His eyes sparkled mischievously. “Anything?”
You hesitated. “Yes?”
A full grin broke across his face. “Then you owe me unlimited cuddles for a week.”
You let out a relieved laugh, nodding. “Deal.”
And just like that, Hyunjin pulled you into his arms, burying his face into your shoulder, holding you like he never wanted to let go.
Because he didn’t.
——————————————————————————
@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee @shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin @whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun @ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael @skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads @jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld @kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9 @minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg @leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon @night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz @rockstarkkami @emilyywhyy
@suckerforv @nyang3racha @ashleylly @darling-imobsessed @changbinismymuscledaddy @artist2181 @minniesverse @monbrigh @20staaa @aeri-skzver @noannah @skysole @chanssmiles @depressedarlling
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andromeda-collective · 2 days ago
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i have multiple and im going to mention all of them but im starting with THIS FUCKER HERE (blade from honkai star rail) AND I HAVE A VERY STUPID REASON FOR IT
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there was an minigame thing with a character named march 7th (dont ask) and there were little events you could encounter throughout it and one of them was that you had to choose between a red and blue pill (or the third option of giving a nonanswer) and since my choice didnt matter at all i went with the red pill because i know that the matrix is a transfem allegory and i also hc march as transfem but then another character made a little comment that blade would ALSO pick the red pill which completely makes sense for his character but since i was still on the transfem allegory mindset i had the thought of "wait does this make blade transfem??" so shes transfem to me now 👍
estrogen would NOT save her. not even REMOTELY. he's a suicidal immortal who physically cannot die because of a ritual his old friend-with-romantic-implications tried who he now wants dead more than anything else. hes basically possessed by evil plants that revive him every time he dies and he goes fucking feral. hes a mass murderer with a bounty of over 8 billion. nothing can save him. but transitioning might make her miserable life slightly more manageable? plus i mean.. throwing your old name away and being a new person? obviously a metaphor for being trans /j
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boothill! this is slightly for shipping reasons (turning a het ship wlw for funzies) but mostly projecting my gender-nonconforming transness onto the only southern disabled character i know of. are we different kinds of southern? yes. are we different kinds of disabled? also yes. do i care? absolutely not. (also because butch southern women make the world go round)
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also sampo because the idea that this fuck is a cisgender ANYTHING is laughable. this is a nonbinary transfem boymoding for shits and giggles who randomly switches to the girl voice when talking to someone JUST to fuck with them because nobody else would believe them and the person would think theyre losing it. typical masked fool stuff. gaslight gatekeep girlboss.
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and then from genshin impact: zhongli. who has CANONICALLY used shapeshifting to become a woman. and has likely done so on more than one occasion. this guy is CANONICALLY GENDERFLUID WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT. and you can obviously be genderfluid and transfem at the same time so why the hell not :D
most other characters i hc as transfem i dont have much of a reason for, but im gonna list them anyways cause hell yeah
argenti (hsr) - she can have a little estrogen as a treat
dr. ratio (hsr) - no reason i just think it could work
sunday (hsr) - something something religious-trauma-and-giving-into-what-you-once-believed-to-be-sinful
diluc (genshin) - fanfiction on ao3 changed my brain chemistry
kazuha (genshin) - also no reason i just think it fits
sebastian solace (a game on roblox called pressure) - im gonna be honest with you op, i just like putting this fucker in situations. and i would love to see the struggle of medically transitioning when you've been forcibly had your body and dna altered to the point of no longer being human. even ignoring for a few seconds the thought that maybe hrt wouldnt have the same effect (or any effect at all) due to the experiments, how could you will yourself to alter yourself medically in any way after the horrific trauma you've experienced? its between fucking with your already fucked up body or having the dysphoria kill you from the inside out. i am rotating her in my mind even harder now.
p.ai.nter (from same game) on the other hand? a lot simpler. make the ai with guns a girl. also just a funny idea: you know that "put eyelashes on it to make it obvious that its a girl" thing? yeah. painter doing that.
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^ TELL ME SHE WOULDNT.
i would apologize for the essay but you did say i was legally required to share so this is your fault /lh
anyways i hope you enjoyed the women
If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.
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agirlwithglam · 3 days ago
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☆.。.: hygiene tips 🧴🧼
hiii! these are all the best hygiene tips that i've gathered from different sources over the years, not everything is 100% necessary to be consistent with, but its certainly good to apply them once in a while. lets begin! 🎀
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LIPS:
taking care of your lips is exceptionally important, especially cus no one wants crusty dusty lips. ♡ use a lipscrub/ exfoliator maybe 1-3 times a week, as many times you need tbh.- diy recipe: sugar, coconut/oil, oil/vaseline, and honey. theres tons more recipes online in case you don't have all the ingredients ♡ apply! a! lip mask! before! bed! this ALWAYS helps me so much! especially since when i wake up i usually get crusty lips! ♡ apply vaseline through out the day so your lips always stay hydrated and soft. ♡ always carry a hydrating lip balm with you. this isnt a huge necessity, but its good to have one on hand in case your lips get dry <3 ♡ DO NOT LICK YOUR LIPS! you may think that it hydrates your lips and makes them less crack-y but licking your lips can actually make them a lot more dryer because your saliva contains enzymes that break down the skin on your lips which can lead to irritation and chapped lips ♡ drink water!! girl i'm not just saying that. go take a sip right now. drinking water is one of THE best things you can do for your lips as it hydrates them!
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MOUTH/ TEETH:
ALWAYS brush your teeth, AT LEAST twice a day, obviously. ♡ did you know that most of the smelly bad breath is usually from your tongue? you can get rid of the bacteria that collects while you sleep by using a tongue scraper to get it off OR you can also simply use your toothbrush as an alternative and just brush down on your tongue. ♡ flossing! ♡ also, remember to change your toothbrush every couple months or whenever you start to notice fraying of the bristles.
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NAILS:
take care of your nails girlie! they don't always have to be painted and expertly shaped, but its good to keep them clean. ♡ for a good clean/ washing, use warm water and mild soap to wash ur nails and scrub your nails gently with a soft brush (kinda like a toothbrush but don't use urs bc that would be nastyy lol) ♡ and remember to also take care of your cuticles- (its at the very bottom of your nail). push back your cuticles with either a cuticle pusher, or you could just do it with your nails, but NEVER cut them as that could cause an infection. pushing back your cuticles helps to create a cleaner nail plate, prevents hangnails, keeps the skin around your nail smoother, makes your nails appear longer and neater by removing dead skin cells, and more! also, apply cuticle oil/ lotion to keep it hydrated.
painting your nails: i LOVE painting my nails, who doesn't? here are some tips to get the best result when doing it. 1) clean your nails 2) shape your nails (using a nail filer) to the desired shape- almond, round, square, oval, silleto, etc. 3) apply base coat - (protects nails from staining + helps polish stay) 4) apply the nail polish! the best part right? you may want to do 1-3 coats of this to make sure the color is really there and not translucent. 5) apply top coat - makes it look glossy + lasts longer tada! we're done ! <3 i recomend listening to music/ subliminals or watching a movie or talking to a friend during this if u get bored. but honestly, sitting alone, painting your nails, soft music in the background and just getting lost in your thoughts and imagination is such a VIBE.
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LASHES
♡ use castor oil or vitamin E on ur eyelashes before bed to make them grow thicker and longer! ♡ avoid pulling or tugging your eyelashes or rubbing to hardly ♡ you can apply vaseline to your lashes, but make sure that its only on the tips and not the roots of it as that can make ur lashes fall out
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EARS:
when you're cleaning the inside, do NOT use a q-tip, you may think you're doing something, but it just pushes the wax more in. ♡ instead, in the shower/ after the shower, with your towel and GENTLY wipe the inside- don't apply too much pressure tho! ♡ also it's important to wipe around the ear as well- where the creases meet ur hair. there can be lots of dirt/ dust that collects so once in a while in the shower or with water, just wipe around that ear a bit- again, be careful!! ♡ lastly, also clean the outer bit of your ear, the earlobe- above & around the inside hole. again be gentle, your ear is a sensitive organ, and just use water to wipe around it carefully.
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BMAC - if you'd like to support me!
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fujoshirat · 2 days ago
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1A Big Three as Hallmark Christmas Movies! ⊹ ࣪ ˖͙͘͡★ Warning: Infinite cringe (movies that your mom will definitely probably want to watch) A/N: thought of this this morning and had to write it down before I forgot it (I miss Christmas :()
⊹ ࣪ ˖͙͘͡★
🎄Zuzu (Izuku Midoriya) – “Home for the Holidays” You swore you’d never come back to this tiny town, but here you are—back for Christmas, only to find that your childhood best friend, Izuku Midoriya, is now… ridiculously attractive? And somehow, your nosy family and meddling townsfolk are determined to push you two together. But wait—what’s this? Old misunderstandings, heartfelt confessions, and the town’s annual Christmas Festival (which you have to help organize: damn you, rotten aunties!) all stand in the way between leaving for good. Can love really find its way home?
“Izuku, you don’t have to kiss me just ‘cause of the mistletoe.”
“I know, but I want to.”
"But-! What about-"
"It was never her, Y/N, it was always you."
——————————————————————————————————
🎄 Kats (Katsuki Bakugou) – “A Sugar Cookie Christmas” Katsuki Bakugou never planned to be a single dad, and he sure as hell doesn’t have time for love. Between raising his adorably feisty daughter and settling into this tiny, Christmas-loving town (at least it’s safe for Mahoro), he’s got no patience for romance. Enter you: his too-cheerful, too-sweet, and way too nosy neighbor. His daughter takes a liking to you immediately (betrayal!), and despite his best efforts, Katsuki finds himself getting wrapped up in late-night cocoa dates, reluctant holiday cookie decorating (babysitting, he swears!), and… feelings?! No way. He doesn’t do feelings anymore. (Spoiler: he totally does.)
“You don’t have to do everything alone anymore. Our neighbors are willing to help!”
“I’ve been doing everything alone for years, I’m used to it.”
“Then, at least let me help you, you’re not alone anymore.”
——————————————————————————————————
🎄 Shou (Shouto Todoroki) – “Christmas on the Farm” Living a quiet life on your family’s Christmas tree farm was all you ever wanted. After graduating college with a bachelor’s degree in business, it’s time for you to give back to your parents for supporting you!—until a very expensive suit and a very familiar man answers the door for your neighbor (apparently his mother!). Your sweet, slightly awkward new neighbor, Shouto Todoroki, is actually the heir to the rich asshole trying to bulldoze your farm? And to make matters worse, his dad definitely sees you as nothing more than an inconvenience. But Shouto? Not on his watch. Cue dramatic standoffs, angsty fireside talks, slow-burn romance, and a passionate last-minute “I won’t let my father take this away from you” speech under the twinkling Christmas lights.
“Shouto I-! I can’t believe you just gave up your inheritance like that!”
“It was the easiest decision I’ve ever made, Y/N, and I don’t regret it at all since it’s for you.”
“Oh Shouto…”
“Merry Christmas, my love.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖͙͘͡★
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concretejunglefm · 3 days ago
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I'm not ready to let you forget me (part 4).
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*edit credit goes to the lovely @defuckingthrone-dot-com
You told your friends you want me dead And said that I did everythin' wrong And you're not wrong
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An anon request for lovers to enemies -> playlist, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.
Summary: It’s been two years since Noah cheated on you, abruptly ending your relationship. However, the universe seems to have a peculiar sense of humor in its plan to reunite you.
Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader.
CW: Mentions of cheating, Noah can be an overall asshole and a tad bit of angst. Unwanted touching/groping/kissing, implied further S/A (male victim) via intoxication and mentions use of GHB. Please remember to take care of yourselves and be safe.
WC: 3.9k.
Dividers: Silent-stories.
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The next day is your final full day here. By Monday morning, your trip would end, and you’d return to your usual mundane life. Instead of embracing the time you had left, you spent it sulking, wallowing in self-pity over the sting of betrayal you felt from Noah and the rest, but especially Sloan.
You never imagined your best friend would pull you back towards the guy she knew had shattered your heart.
When she tried to talk to you through your hotel room door that morning, you ignored her and hid until later that afternoon, after finishing off the bottles in your hotel room minibar.
As you exit your room, you catch Folio standing at the door to his room beside yours. You consider not disturbing him and trying to slip past, but you have no reason to be upset with him. Besides, his boyish grin always made you have a softer spot for him.
You clear your throat before speaking. “How did the show go?” Their festival performance was today, and while you knew Sloan would be there, probably stageside with how close she and Jolly had gotten over the weekend, you decided to ignore her invitation: “When you’re ready to stop being mad at everyone, you can join me at the festival.”
You weren’t mad at everyone; just Sloan, Noah, Jolly, and maybe even Nicholas with his recent behavior and invitations to both of you. Folio, as well as Matt, was probably the only one you hadn’t yet found a reason to be mad at.
“Crushed it, obviously,” he says with such pride that it makes you laugh. “Can’t do a show without crushing.” His response shouldn’t surprise you; he always took pride in his performances and his ability to improve with each one. “We were planning to go to one of the escape rooms later. You should join us.”
“Oh, I don’t—“
“Come on. It’s your last night here, right? You really want to spend it wallowing in your room?”
“Well I planned to do it down at the bar, actually.” You laugh. “Besides, I really don't think it's a good idea seeing Noah right now. I imagine him and his ex performing today made them pretty cosy, especially after the other night.” You roll your eyes at the thought and do your best trying not to appear irritated by it. You fail.
“About that…” There’s a near guilty expression on Folio’s face which causes your eyebrows to narrow.
“Yes?”
“It's not what you think. She wasn't… that wasn’t... Noah was with me the whole night.”
You scoff and shake your head. “You don't have to defend him Folio, he’s a big boy.” It almost doesn't surprise you that Noah would rope one of his friends into lying for him, into defending him when he was in the wrong.
“I’m not! We were together the whole night. The banging and the moaning you heard, that was us. He said it would be funny and I stupidly agreed.”
“Oh…” The tension in your body fades as the irritation you felt before now slowly dissipates with nowhere for it to be aimed. You'd have gladly held it over Noah for the rest of time, but if it hadn't been true, how can you?
“Like I say, I really think you should consider joining us today. It’ll be fun.” 
It's the last thing he leaves you with before slipping into his own hotel room and you actually find yourself considering it. 
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You caved, and as soon as you enter the escape room, Sloan greets you with a usual sarcastic remark, breaking the pout you had been wearing and forming a smile. 
You couldn’t stay mad at her, and you hoped none of this was intentional. However, you knew you needed to talk to her sooner rather than later to prevent yourself from overthinking it.
“Ladies first,” Jolly says, gesturing towards the open door of the escape room.
Stepping inside, you find it to be a replica of a music studio, fitting for a band that had just finished a show.
Turning back towards the door, instead of seeing Sloan or anyone else enter, Noah follows and you catch Sloan’s apologetic expression as she mouths an ‘I’m sorry’ to you.
At that moment, the door closes, and your eyes widen in realization.
Crossing over to the door, you try to open it despite hearing the distinct click of the latch locking into place. “Sloan, this isn’t funny,” you call through the door, but her muffled response only adds to your frustration.
“You both really need to talk.”
You shoot a glance at Noah, your eyes narrowing. “Was this your idea?”
He chuckles and holds up his hands. “Don’t blame me. I had no idea they were going to do this. I didn’t even think you’d want to come after last night.”
“I didn’t,” you grumble, almost angry with Folio for tricking you into coming.
While Noah sits in a nearby chair, you start searching the room for clues or any way to escape.
Your brief search yields to nothing, and you grow more frustrated with Noah for not helping you. “Are you really just going to sit there and not help?”
“Why should I? I thought you worked better alone anyway,” he retorts.
You scoff. He really chose his moments to be difficult. Trying to ignore him, you resume your search, but come to a halt as the familiar chords of ‘Just Pretend’ start playing. Out of all the props in the room, he had to pick up the guitar and see if it could work.
It makes you roll your eyes to hear that song. Even though you've been avoiding the band for the past two years, you've heard it thanks to TikTok and the millions of girls who’ve been obsessed with calling it ‘the perfect love song’. It’s far from a love song, and you don’t delude yourself into thinking it could be about you. But right now, as you hear the change in lyrics, you can’t help but wonder if it could be.
Stepping towards where he’s sitting, you lower yourself slowly onto the edge of the near by chair and listen. He’s completely engrossed in the song, but his voice sounds a lot more broken and raw than it ever does when he sings it live.
Sloan had said that you both needed to talk, and maybe she’s right.
When the song ends, you take a moment to gather your thoughts before breaking the silence. “Folio told me that what happened the other night is ‘not what I think.’” You pause, your gaze settling on Noah, who avoids meeting yours. “He said you were with him all night and that she wasn’t there.”
“Yeah, well, Folio needs to mind his own business.”
“He’s only looking out for you,” you say, feeling the need to defend him. You know it was coming from a place of care for both you and Noah. “Why did you act like you were with her?”
Noah shrugs. “Thought it would be funny.”
“No, I don’t buy it,” you say.
Sighing, he finally resigns himself, if only slightly. “I thought it would make you talk to me. Even if it meant you were angry, you’d at least stop ignoring me.”
“And you couldn’t think of a better way to do that?”
“What can I say, I’m an asshole,” he admits, his voice devoid of gloating. He sounds defeated, as if he’s accepted being tarnished with that label.
“You weren’t always like that,” you say, your voice softer. Your fingers twitch, itching to reach for him but hesitant to offer him any form of comfort beyond your words. “And you didn’t have to become an asshole to get me to talk to you.”
“Really?” His gaze finally meets yours. “Because you ignored me every chance you had.” He slides forward towards the end of his seat, pushing down and onto the floor, coming onto his knees in front of you, reaching for your hand. 
Every other time he tried to reach for you during this trip, you pulled away, refusing to give him even a chance to get close. But this time, you let him take your hand in his own. 
“Call me an asshole all you want. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Just never stop telling me those things. I hated these last two years without you, and I can’t go back to not hearing your voice ever again.”
This time, he’s down on his knees in front of you, and it’s not because of any request or attempt to humiliate him. There’s a genuine apology written across his face, and you hear it in his voice—the way he grows soft, almost desperate to not let you go again.
As much as you want to forgive him, to let him back in, even at a distance, you can’t shake the memories of what happened. Between him ghosting you, the pictures and videos of him and his ex, and the sound of her voice in his room the other night, it pains you to even consider letting any of that go unaddressed. But the thought of asking about it makes your throat tighten.
“What happened?” You finally choke out and his head, which he had lowered to rest against your lap, finally raises and he looks up at you. “With… her. What happened? You went on tour with her and then you ghosted me.” 
You sound more emotional than you mean to and you force a laugh trying to push the urge to cry back down because you’ll be damned if you sit here crying to your ex, over him, in some stupid escape room.
Noah doesn’t answer, instead he pulls himself back away from you, his head lowered, chin tucked against his chest as he slides back onto the chair, avoiding looking at you.
“God, if you cheated on me could you atleast have the balls to admit it.”
“I don’t know.” He mumbles.
“That’s such a poor excuse.”
“I don’t know.” He says it more firmly and finally lifts his head to look across at you. “We were all out. I had something to drink and the next thing I remember I was waking up in her bed.”
You can’t help the scoff you let out, shaking your head because it feels like he's using every cliche and excuse right now. “So you got drunk and hooked up with your ex? Then felt too ashamed to even tell me so you ghosted me?” Your voice slowly rises a few octaves, despite you not meaning for it to. You’re angry and upset and you can’t hold it back.
“It wasn’t like that.” He starts and you continue shaking your head, pushing up out of the chair as you begin to pace the small room, looking back over at Noah.
“Then what’s it like, Noah, huh? Because right now it sounds like you’re just a coward who cheated and couldn’t own up to it.”
“I don’t know, okay? I don’t remember what happened. I don’t know how I ended up there with her, but I did.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s trying to hold himself back from becoming too upset and you see the shimmer of wetness in his eyes.
“Noah?” You move back over to the chair you were sitting in and lower yourself onto the edge reaching for him. 
The moment you do, he’s quick to use the front of his shirt to wipe away the tears which start rolling down his cheeks. 
“You really don’t remember?” You ask, your voice soft as you tentatively reach out to him, laying your hand over his and he silently shakes his head in response.
“She sent me a video.” His voice breaks a little and he clears his throat. “I can guess from there what happened. She threatened to send it to you if I didn't break up with you and get back together with her.”
“And that’s why you ghosted me?”
“That and I was ashamed.” He forces a laugh and it makes your heart break, witnessing this side of him, the side which was often reserved away from everyone, including you.
“Noah did she…” You trail off as he shakes his head in response to your words before shrugging.
“I don’t…” 
You nod and take his hand in your own, raising it towards your mouth as your turn and press a gentle kiss against his palm. You don’t need to press him anymore, you understand.
Whatever happened inside the room must've satisfied Sloan enough to have the door unlocked, because you hear the click a few moments later before seeing it open and your best friend walk in as if she was your savior.
In some ways, maybe she is.
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Back at the hotel, Noah retreats to his room, and you can see the dark circles forming around his eyes. After today’s physically and emotionally taxing events, including the escape room, you didn’t object to him needing some alone time. 
While everyone else disperses, Nicholas surprises you with a knock on your door.
“There’s something you need to see,” he says.
You invite him in and watch as he pulls out his phone and steps towards you. He scrolls and taps on the screen until he’s satisfied with what he finds.
“What’s this?” you ask, taking the phone and looking down to see a video open and paused on the screen.
“What really happened,” Nicholas says. “Noah hasn’t seen the full video. Matt managed to get the full thing after talking to a few guys who were there that night.”
Moving across the room towards the bed, you settle on the edge as you take a breath and press play.
You hear the same giggle, the same high-pitched, dragging-out “Nowah” that makes your skin crawl. You really don’t want to watch this, especially when she comes into view. It makes your stomach turn and bile rise up your throat. Why do you want to watch your boyfriend making out with another girl, especially the ex he ghosted you for?
Except that isn’t what starts playing out on the screen in front of you. Noah, who looks barely conscious, is being grabbed and groped by the same girl. Her chest is pressed to his face as she giggles, acting like he’s the one behind the actions when he’s merely a puppet for her amusement.
You want to look away, to turn it off. In your mind, you’ve seen enough, but you can’t stop. The phone trembles in your hands as you watch the rest of the video.
Her fingers rake through his hair, tugging up his heavy head and cooing something almost unintelligible against his lips. Noah speaks enough for you to catch a faint word—your name. It leaves his lips and tightens your chest. Did he think it was you? Did he want it to be? Was he calling out for you? Regardless, your name is quickly dismissed by his ex, who says, “She’s not here right now, baby, but don’t worry, I’ll help you forget all about her.” The moment her lips meet his in a forced kiss, you push the phone back, shaking your head.
“I-I can’t, I’ve seen enough.” You can piece together the same puzzle that Noah did.
In his mind, he believed he had cheated, but the reality was he had been gaslit, shown only the edited version of the video where his ex was all over him and then kissing him. Waking up beside her the next morning made him reach an easy conclusion.
You want to vomit; the thought of everything that happened makes your stomach churn, and it hurts your chest not only for what you saw but also for Noah. The thought of him being burdened by this, holding onto something he thought he needed to be ashamed of and how you treated him, suddenly makes you feel guilty. You shouldn’t have been so hasty to block him, to try to cut him out of your life. What if every spam account he watched you from was his way of trying to reach out? What if he had been trying, but you just pushed him away, driving him further back every time?
“I can see why you haven’t shown him. How long have you had this?” When you look at Nicholas, you can see the struggle in his eyes at trying to keep this from his best friend.
“A few months,” he confesses, twisting his mouth. It’s as if you can see the guilt gnawing at him. “I don’t know if showing him would make things worse.”
“Definitely worse.” You whisper. You knew beneath the hardened cocky exterior was a softer heart, one Noah tried to protect and failing to do so always opened up a possibility for him diving off the deep end.
“Have you spoken to her?” When the question leaves your lips you shake your head, dismissing it yourself. “Sorry, that was dumb, of course you wouldn't.”
“We’ve tried. She refuses to get back to any of us, even her team have now told us to ‘stop harassing her’.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “She's here you know, at the hotel.”
At those words it's like you see red and suddenly every ounce of logic you have dissipates and you’re carrying yourself from your hotel room and downstairs, walking throughout the hotel as if you'll miraculously bump into his ex in the hallway or casino.
On your way, you pick up the addition of Folio and Matt, followed by Sloan and Jolly. Sloan tries to reason with you, but Folio urges you on, as if you’ll start a fight with her.
“What are you going to say to her?” Sloan asks, trying to pull you out of your rage filled trance.
“Nice to meet you. I’m the girl whose life you ruined, just like Noah’s.” You make a vague gesture, causing Jolly to chuckle. You hear a thump from his direction, indicating that Sloan hit him in response.
“You really can’t think confronting her here is a good idea.”
“Why not? She keeps hiding behind her team and everyone else. Better to catch her when she least expects it.”
“I thought you didn’t care about him.” Sloan’s voice is softer this time, and it stops you in your tracks.
You had said that, tried to act nonchalant about him, but now you’re ready to dive headfirst into his battle for what? Because you still cared?
You didn’t have time to debate Sloan’s question, and that all slips away when you catch a familiar face.
Noah’s ex.
She’s surrounded by a small crowd of people you can only assume are part of her crew. You quickly pull away from your group and head towards her, calling out to her.
You don’t know what you expected when you come face to face with her, that somehow you’ll spew everything you’ve been thinking about and holding in since he ghosted you for her, but now you’re left silent as you stand before her.
She’s beautiful, and you were never blind to that or envious of it, but now you see that there’s a distinct sneer at the corner of her lips, as if she’s looking down on you rather than at you.
Just as one of her crew approaches to gesture you to move away, you sidestep them and come towards her.
“I know what you did.”
She lets out a laugh, looking around as if appalled by such an odd accusation from a stranger. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Noah,” your eyes meet hers, and you notice the dimming of her gaze. The cocky facade she maintains slightly falters. “I know what you did.”
As she prepares to respond, her eyes divert behind you, and you hear your name being called.
Following her gaze, they fall on Noah, who is coaxing you away. His face remains as sunken as before. Since his confession, he has lost all of his composure, and you can’t help but wonder if it’s due to the exhaustion of holding onto it or if he has finally stopped pretending to be someone he’s not around you.
“No, she needs to acknowledge what she did.” You insist, turning back to face her.
“What I did was merely have some fun.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.
“That’s what you call fun?!” You feel a hand on your shoulder as Nicholas steps up to you, attempting to calm you down as your voice rises.
“A few drops of GHB to relax him. He was so tense that night.” She glances past you in Noah’s direction, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “He passed out before any real fun could occur, though.” Her mouth curls into a pout, and you feel an instant urge to lunge at her, but Nick’s hand restrains you.
“So, what you’re implying is that nothing happened?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Apart from the video your little friends apparently got ahold of, no.”
“So, you put him in your bed to make him believe he cheated? Why? Because did wanted him back?”
“I didn’t make him believe anything; he came to that conclusion on his own. It sounds like a guilty conscience to me.”
Your hand twitches, and you feel Nick move down and grasp at your wrist, as if silently preventing you from lashing out at her.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She attempts to move forward and pass you, and Nick pulls you back, out of the way, as you turn to look over at Noah.
This moment should be filled with joy as you both reunite, victorious over the evil that once plagued you. Yet, instead of embracing each other, you find yourself standing there, staring at Noah, an apologetic look etched on your face.
You had known she was manipulative, but you never imagined she would resort to such extreme measures, framing Noah for cheating while making him believe the worst had happened to him.
The way Noah looked at you was a mix of shame and disappointment. You had never lashed out at anyone the way you had her, never had to be restrained and pulled away from a potential fight. You didn’t even think you had the skills to fight beyond the occasional hair-pulling and slapping. But you had been ready then. It was all thanks to Nicholas’s presence, which prevented you from confronting her in the hotel’s public space.
Imagine how that would've looked. Another story for her to spin in her favor.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, unable to lift your gaze from the floor. Shame washes over you, not just for your actions but also for not being able to bear the disappointment in Noah's eyes for much longer.
You had always prided yourself on being level-headed, but around Noah, everything changed. Whether it was his behavior or your own emotions getting the better of you, the intensity of your feelings for him surpassed anything you had ever experienced with anyone else.
“Noah, please,” you take a step towards him, reaching out to him. But instead of embracing you, he turns away, it's his turn to walk away now, and shaking his head, he retreats from you, leaving.
When you look over to your best friend, Sloan, she offers you a comforting expression before moving in. Your lips tremble as you whisper, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She gently shushes you, pulling you into her arms. It feels so familiar now, after her months of comforting you. She doesn’t even hold the cruelty of your words from the previous night against you.
You don’t deserve her, and maybe on some level, you don’t deserve Noah either.
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tagged: @fadingangelwisp @deathblacksmoke @geminigirlfromfinland @fuck1ng-queen @xxkittenkissesxx @lacy1986 @ichoosetenderomens @chey-h @blade-dressed-in-red @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @halfalgorithmhafdeity @dominuslunae @tosoundlessdarkistare @annthepenguin @samanthasgone @littlebear423 @aprosiacperson @flowery-mess @nyriastark @blackgirlmagicforever
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theyluvpeach · 13 hours ago
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chasing you.
you avoid him. he catches you. dealer!reader x client!chris blurb <3
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He's starting to think he's the problem. Those are words Chris never thought would form in his brain—But here he is, trying to figure out why hasn't seen you all week.
It doesn't make any sense. You're always around campus, yet when he's actively looking for you, you're nowhere to be seen. Chris doesn't even want to talk to you. He just wants to give you your shit back so Matt will stop bothering him about it.
Even though he's your friend—And he was the one to even invite you to the party in the first place—He has to return your heels cause apparently, Matt has better shit to do then chase you around all day.
He's been all around campus looking for you. If you're not at the campus cafe, he's gonna launch your heels at Matt's head.
Matt is so lucky you're here.
You're in the corner at a booth with tons of books and your computer in front of you. You're not your usual neon colored self. There's no star clips in your hair. You don't have on an overly tight top. No flared jeans. You're unrecognizable.
He can see the fear settle in your eyes as he walks up to you. So, you were avoiding him.
"Chris." The tension in your voice is quite frankly, insane. That night, after leaving you in his room, all he did was talk to Matt about what to do with you and then passed out on the couch after the party was over. What could he have done in that time?
"Kid, I know you were shitfaced last week, but I can't believe you forgot all about your stuff." You blink at him multiple times. "What?"
He shoves your heels and tights that are stuffed in them to you, "Y'know? All this?"
You slowly take them, your face lighting up. "Oh... Oh!"
"Huh?" He's confused. You were all gloomy just a second ago, and now you look like a kid on Christmas morning.
"Mh....I thought we fucked, if I'm being completely honest." He watches you tuck your heels away into your bag. "This reminded me we didn't, thanks."
Chris, for once in his life, is speechless. You were avoiding him because you thought you guys fucked. Honestly, he'll take this over you being all over Aiden. He wonders if you remember that... he's not gonna bring it up.
Huh. This is probably how the girls he sleeps with feel after they wake up alone in the morning.
"Nah, I don' fuck my brothers friends." You tilt your head at him, annoyingly, and raise your eyebrow. "Michelle."
"Doesn't count."
"Brittany."
"Also doesn't count."
"Vivi—"
"You friends with all the girls I fuck or somethin'?" You laugh, loudly. Bringing attention to yourself, but you don't care. You're definitely back to your usual self. "Some of them. They're wondering why I'm hanging around Mr. Community Dick."
Chris rolls his eyes. "Matt deserves that title."
"Eh, you guys are tied." You smile at him. And he gets that feeling in his chest again. The one that makes him feel like he's dying. When you start looking at him like he's crazy makes him remember that you guys are having a conversation and process that's he's staring at you.
He awkwardly coughs. "Whatcha' got all these books for anyway?" You groan, resting your forehead on the table. "Ecology."
He blinks.
"Plants." You sit up, resting your head in your hands, "Its the study of how living organisms interact with their physical environment—"
"We get it. You're smart. Trust."
"Well—" You flush at the compliment. Maybe not pissing you off gets him places. "That's just the definition!"
He eyes the stacks of books at your table. "You got a test, or are you just a nerd?"
You scoff. "I'm not a nerd. We have a test, and since my teacher writes questions like she hasn't talked to a human being in years, I'm doing some light reading."
"Light reading?" He teases. "Whatever." He checks his phone as you roll your eyes, well shit.
He spent way more time talking to you than he thought he would. He's gonna be late to the class he promised Nate he'd go to for the first time in forever.
"Gotta go," He says, beginning to walk backward towards the exit, "Don't drink so much next time, alright, kid? Not tryna chase you around again."
"I would've remembered eventually!"
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tags 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚: @inspiredangel @whore4mattsturniolo @domizzzsstuff @sosasturns @drewswife
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bf-rally · 1 month ago
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theme progress...
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nabaath-areng · 5 months ago
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 2 days ago
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god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek
#just me rambling again#guys. guys i have been just barely scraping by for what feels like so long it's genuinely so overwhelming and confusing and just very#unsettling for me to be having good feelings especially like.. big ones#i kind of feel like im dying ?? not actually physically but my entire brain just really doesn't know what to do#ive got some rational anxieties but also a lot of really stupid small ones just that are so all over my brain#and the cause feels so stupid. ok cool so ur falling for one of ur friends. happens. ok so same friend VERY OBVIOUSLY likes you too. ok ok#a little weirder but something that has happened before#but there's just so much in mybrain anxious abt stuff (ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds a lot the past week(#idk i just feel like somehow it's not fair to them??#like. being with me or me trying to maybe be with them feels like... im taking away something from them or from their life#even tho we literally talked last night abt dates we really really wish we could go on#and how we obviously would just work well together we're compatible in basically every way#it also would be low pressure not heavy commitment because at the end of the summer we're both planning to move for college things#and she's looking at colleges in New York and nyc and im looking at colleges in oregon or Washington#so yeah.. literally across the entire country from each other#but that almost scares me more bc i have the it will come back hozier type of attachment issues where it's so so difficult for me to ever#let go of things once ive latched on (everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it or whatever) and i really don't want to leave my#claw marks in them bc like. god i really would adore having a thing for however many months we have but im so goddamn scared#that im either not going to be able to let go or one of us is going to detach well before we leave bc thats a reasonable emotional response#and thatll be it's own hell#but also#im 18 almost 19 (and i will make clear that they're in the year below me which also makes me feel really bad but that's a whole other can o#worms there) and its been a long while since ive just. let myself LIVE. ive been the shell of a man for months now. maybe another#stupid and wonderful and beautiful and terrible teenage romance wouldnt be the end of the world.#hell i was so convinced i would never ever ever not be in love with my more recent ex girlfriend and i still love her as a person but im#definitely not still in love with her and our splitting hurt but it was something that i was able to cope with and grow through#idk im rambling a lot longer than i have in a while i just have a lot of feelings right now.#i want to kiss them (again and more) i want to go to a stupid drive in movie and go to museums together and a picnic and all the shit that#we talked about last night and we both love in similar ways and feel our feelings really big and unapologetically#idk i have so much to say but running out of tags on here. double date maybe on friday ? we'll see what happens i guess.
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puffpawstries · 6 months ago
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I was drawing lil idea for how Honnos phone case would look like and then added a cute lil cat keychain charm and then had my brain explode getting the thought of them getting another one for Ichimatsu so him and her can have matching ones? Even cuter while still friends cause when Honno found out he was also a cat person when they first met she knew that he'd sure to must like cat theme stuff right? So seeing cute cat charms was a MUST GET FOR ICHI NOW.
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michameinmicha · 5 months ago
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I moved almost all my stuff and so far it went really well!
We still need to put the closet back together and some shelves but all the furniture and boxes are here now (except bed and desk which i will buy new ones soon)
My friends are so wonderful and carried all my heavy boxes upstairs (theyre very strong wtf)
I havent arranged most of it yet, its all just randomly in my room, but that only makes sense after we put the closet together and see where it fits...
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todayisafridaynight · 5 months ago
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plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned
can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3
mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear
#snap chats#originally i wrote 'funniest character alive' and then remembered. HAH im so funny //throws up//#all my fave charas know how to do is get crazy on planes over men they love its disgusting#utterly hilarious cause after making the last post i went on twitter and they mentioned ANOTHER plane scene i throw up over#diff franchise so not important it is just SIMPLY funny how coincidences work and further confirming I Have A Type#BUT NO BACK TO MINE IT'S STILL SO FUCKIN FUNNY I HAVE TO REWATCH IT#i have to replay it .... all of y3 ...#if anyone remembers my friend from college and how we used to stream she asked me if we could stream#and i was like 'girl i havent streamed in Fuck Ever huh' and yk what maybe i'll stream y3 with her#at the very least ill stream y3 for myself ... legend mode .....#ive beaten y3 legend mode one (1) time and it was the worst experience of my life because if its not shadow the hedgehog#i am not good at the game i am playing !!!!!!!!!!! it'll be funny tho#i remember wanting to do a y3 drinking run but i told myself id stop drinking so i simply think. i will substitute drinking for hot sauce#its an idea im ironing out and i also have to like. properly set up a twitch- or maybe ill stream through youtube#ive always liked youtube streaming more ... at least as a viewer#these are all details for plans i will not be enacting literally any time soon can i stay on topic#the topic being i love mine. i love that plane scene forever the casual Whats Goin On Here :)#and he is the embodiment of :) in that scene casue :] is gen friendly but :) has an underlying aura of Im Going To Kill You#thats him in that scene. and i love him. for the third time. im ending this post now forever and always stan mine#if and whenever y3k comes out i cant wait to see !! but i personally believe that's well and away from us at this point#not impossible since they did mention it but yk. i dont think itll happen within the next year or two#maybe next five or ten realistically. if that jVLAEKJVLAEKJ ok bye fr now
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jinxofthedesert · 11 months ago
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I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.
Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.
But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.
To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.
I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.
But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.
#personal#me#had to make a post. it's been eating at me since I ended it#you feel so fucking guilty but know it was the right decision.#i feel happier and lighter#its weird cause I've met my closet friends on here who are so incredible and supportive and respectful and I am in return#so to have one spiral into....that....was hard. and hard to realize despite my stomach aching day after day trying to tell me that#this was a shit situation and I deserved better#if someone makes you feel like shit and makes you believe you deserve to feel that way: leave#just leave#block them#life is to damn short to share it with people who will only make it worse and and make you feel bad as a person#i have more self respect than that#and sometimes it's hard to tell cause I want peeps to get along and have a good time when I care for them#i like making peeps happy. it brings me joy. and I tend to do it naturally without thinking.#so it's hard to sometimes see when it's not healthy#i pray for anyone in a relationship/friendship like this#know you are worth it and no one has the right to make you feel like that.#when someone doesn't respect that you have a life and can't be there 24/7 and take it Personally when you can't....like no#I've had so many friendships on here that respect your time and realize messaging comes second maybe even third or fourth#and it sucks when the opposite happens and it just gets worse and worse.#And them using 'i used to be a therapist so I know you better then yourself' should never be an excuse for them putting you down EVER.
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