#cause i fucking forget to post here
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MEENKRI MEGA POST
#kind of#cause i fucking forget to post here#though i used to be like mainly ocs and overwatch on this account#man who knows now im old and i do elderly shit#meenkri#homestuck#kankri#meenah
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Just because you don't love yourself it doesn't mean I will stop loving you.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#for some reason i wrote a dif caption on all socmed#i like them all#u know me and my poetry and shuake i cant stop coming up w lines so oh well collect them all#twt tumblr and bsky#twt and tumblr are similar#oh right i have never told ppl i have either of those here#tumblr is my true home so i forget#anw enjoy my tablet pen is dying and replacement is 350 euros cause its a wacom display tablet from 2013-17 and yeah. fuck me :)#cant even say i will do comms to pay for a new one cause its maddening to draw on it rn#idk how i managed to draw this one - passion for shuake ig#ok thats too much rambling even for me oops#its been a bad week lots of expenses for someone who quit her job to do a post grad on my savings lol#im getting better though
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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every time I come back home I experience new mental illnesses -_-
#its not even bad rn it's been nice#there's just so much horrible stuff underneath it all though and i think i just can't handle it#i think im just grieving my entire life every time I come here#and I've been just having these thoughts i guess intrusive thoughts about everyone dying tragically for the laste few days and it's#NOT FUCKING HELPING#idk it's nice we're all nice and both is happening but there's always some new info dropped on me that they just.#expect me to process by myself and i just end up crying at night all the time cause like what am i supposed to do#yeah sorry for venting again i was getting a bit better at not doing tht but i neeed it rn ToT#k i think i just need to go to sleep and maybe ill forget everything tomorrow or something idk#vent#vent post
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I don't think it'll happen dude
#i thought this was posted here but ig not#i forget when i made it already. these days i black out and art just spawns.#the bubbling is a mess cause it was improvised but the comic still tickles me#this is actually a decent summary of their dynamic. rufus is so fucking insufferable#sableheart#oc: PT#oc: rufus#wildeart
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sorry for the lighting but i feel like you can still tell what’s going on and it’s not like a portfolio picture so yay ya yay stuff from school now that it’s properly started :) we were doing self portraits inspired by books from the library and mine was a collection of sci fi movie posters which is something i’ve never done before :]
#obligatory personal stuff doesn’t get as much interaction but luckily i’m posting for ME!!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!#artists on tumblr#sci fi art#and those will be my two tags for today :)#hoping to take a break from assignment and do a proper slimepompurin later today like i said i wanted to#not that i’ve ever been good at doing things ive said i want to do#cause i also want to print my ballot and do laundry#we did a little walk around look at other peoples work in their sketchbooks and write them sticky notes and i got six fucking sticky notes#everyone in the class had 3 each#like logically if everyone was at a sketchbook each time and didn’t double up the most you should get is three#i got six i was so overwhelmed but they were so nice#like i had to take anxiety meds but in a good way if u know what i mean#did wonders for my imposter syndrome i feel so much better#taking an illustration course btw!!! i’ve said that on my main but not here so if you look at my mess of tags you get that bit of lore#i’m an international student :) very scary but very excited i already feel good about it unless i forget to take meds in which case it feels#like i’m dying#medicated though!! i feel so excited i’ve always wanted to go to art school#and i did Not Like the US#so i’m in the Uk now and there aren’t guns everywhere and they know how to make stall doors properly thank god#more comfortable pissing here then i am in my home town#partially cause it’s illegal for me to do that in my home town
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so magical that yakuza 1 and shadow the hedgehog came out the same year........ 2005 the best year for sega honestly.....
#snap chats#AND DAYS APART TOO IN JAPAN (rgg1 dec. 8 while shadow was dec. 15)#the gap is significantly wider for US releases but thats not important.....#japanese kids were winning on christmas i swear#'snap why are you bringing this up' isnt it obvious. i am playing shadow the hedgedhog#and i keep thinking about daigo playing shadow and then later down the line just talking to mine bout it cause he can be a lil sillay#i hope he had dreams where he and shadow got to be besties. and by Him And Shadow i mean he dreams himself as sonic#because obligatory Same VA Joke Is Obligatory IF WE CAN GET ONE (1) W FROM RCS VOICING DAIGO. LET IT BE THAT AT LEAST.#for me..... let it slide for me..... yes ik it was jason griffith voicing sonic (and shadow) back then but let it slide this once..#i refuse to acknowledge modern shadow. unless it's from that one uhhh fuck what was the cartoon called#its on netflix Point Is the one time shadow was actually like his old self girl i sobbed. too bad sonic was a dipshit though#a soul for a soul ig.... i think its ok just this once....#im getting so off topic but this is how i inflict my other interests upon you lot#i trap you into reading a post vaguely about rgg and then i make it about something else :)#look at my pfp you fool. i legally have to talk about shadow the hedgehog like once a month ok let me have this#while im here. like /i/ know this game is nine years long but sometimes i forget HOW long#326 endings and for what. because they love me thats why.#fym 'revenge at last' is only ending 11 that seems like the third route or so you'd take (only black doom missions)#ok ive talked long enough. anyway bye im gonna uhhhh god idk.... i keep getting distracted#i started watching kagerou while my sister was playing mysims the other day but i got too engrossed by her playing to continue#mysims was like. A White Whale of sorts in my house for a while since it was one of like five games my sis actually played#and it was her fave but one day 1.) we lost it 2.) our wii stopped working. since that day she's blamed me for losing it#WELL then i found it and i got the wii u working SO all that can stop now 👁️👁️ ok ive fr gone on too long#unfortunately i cant talk about EVERYTHING i want to lest i just turn this into a general games blog. but i wont i prommy#for now. bye fr i think my sis just got home actually LMAO
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my biggest online impact is being mentioned in a r34 comment
#if I keep making bad posts someone will throw something at my head and I’ll forget jimmothy ring ever existed#i cannot stop thinking about it#funny but Do Not Perceive me in such a way#this only makes sense if you follow the other account#in reality my biggest impact is just my youtube account I guess#but this is funnier#does the artist who drew that know#was that the intent#did I cause that image or did they come up with it on their own#commenter. I know you’re here. well. probably not Here But You Are Nearby. in my backyard.#You summoned me#for those who do not know what the actual fuck im talking about#don’t worry it has nothing to do with jimmy
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why theo’s actions in season 6 make the most sense if he’s in love with liam: a theo raeken meta
so this is my explanation for why i strongly believe that theo is in love with liam for at least the entirety of 6B, if not longer, and why his character arc makes the most sense if that is the case.
so obviously, throughout season 5, theo did not care about anyone from the mccall pack. he pretended to so that he could manipulate them, but he didn’t genuinely care about any of them. when tara drags him into hell, they all stand by and watch, so they don’t exactly part on great terms. when liam brings theo back in 6A, he’s very clearly been changed by his experiences in the skinwalker prison, and acts very differently than he had previously. he initially reacts with violence, but pretty quickly stops and even lets malia beat him up, showing that he feels some remorse for his actions, or at least feels that he still deserves to be punished for them.
theo’s actions right after he comes back are motivated solely out of a desire to stay alive, they only brought him back because they thought he could help, so he assumes that as soon as he couldn’t help they would just send him back, which is why he makes them break the sword. and after that, he doesn’t want to go back on his word and risk them just killing him anyways, so he helps them. however, this is when his actions begin to go beyond purely self serving.
the reason why he initially sticks with liam is because there’s literally no one else there, so it’s purely for the sake of survival. he even says “i’m on your side as long as it helps me” and straight up says that he would abandon liam to be taken/killed if it meant saving himself. however, he fairly quickly does the exact opposite, even after liam says that he would use theo as bait. theo fights the ghost riders alongside liam, and then makes sure that liam is out of harms way and risks his own life to protect him, “being the bait,” as he tells liam. you could argue that this is because theo thought liam had a better chance at saving the others, but their plan from the start was just to distract the ghost riders, so it would make more sense for it to be him trying to protect liam.
so the question is, why does he care? liam hasn’t demonstrated much of an interest in protecting him aside from saying that theo was his responsibility, even admitting that he wouldn’t protect theo or try to save him, and theo didn’t show much of an interest in protecting anyone else, but theo throws himself in the line of fire pretty quickly to protect liam. he even specifically says “i did all of this to keep you from being taken” when liam tells him about his plan to go into the wild hunt, flat out admitting that his actions were motivated solely by a desire to protect liam. if it was a platonic motivation or some sense of guilt, it would have made much more sense for him to be trying to protect scott or stiles, who he’d more directly hurt in season 5, but instead he’s focused on liam. therefore, it makes more sense for it to be romantically motivated, even if theo doesn’t fully understand his feelings at that point.
in 6B, his feelings become even more evident. logically, there wasn’t really a reason for theo to stay in beacon hills. he had a car, he could have skipped town and gone far away from everyone else, but he didn’t. the question is, why did he stay? you might say that it was because of scott, that he was angling for forgiveness or a pack, but he never really expresses any interest in forgiveness or becoming a part of the pack. and more importantly, he spends at least 80% of his screen time in 6B with liam. from the moment liam brings theo back from hell, theo pretty much attaches himself to liam, and almost every single significant scene theo has in season 6 is with liam. he has more scenes with liam than with any other character, and he seems to have a particular fixation on helping/protecting liam in 6B.
so why is that the case? if he was doing any of this for scott, it would have been much more evident, but he doesn’t seem to care much about getting scott’s forgiveness or becoming part of the pack. he also doesn’t show this level of dedication to any of the other pack members, at least until the end. if theo was doing any of this out of a sense of guilt or to seek forgiveness/redemption, he would have focused on scott or even malia, but likely not liam. therefore, this particular fixation on liam makes the most sense if theo had started developing feelings for liam after liam saved him from the skinwalker prison and broke the sword, and fell in love with him sometime before/during 6B. theo is a self-admitted survivalist, and him constantly risking his life and safety just to protect liam makes significantly more sense if there were romantic feelings involved.
#fun fact i wrote this like 6 months ago i just kept forgetting to post it#so yeah everyone who liked that post here it is#this is written like a fucking essay cause i have problems#but yeah enjoy#teen wolf#teen wolf meta#theo raeken#theo raeken meta
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I wonder if people are posting AI generated fanfic... that would be fucking shitty if that became The Norm.
#youll always know i wrote a thing#cause every few paragraphs i forget a word#and that word is you to decide#definitely not because my brain moves faster than my fingies#me aitting here putting fucking hours of my free time into a single chapter#and some person puts a prompt into chatgbt and it spits out a fully fledged story in 10 seconds that they post
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🦐...
#making another bullshit post because i dont have anyone to talk to and talking in the tags is comforting as fuck for some reason#so here we go. hi gang dave here how are we doing tonight#sparkle off its thurday forget who you are yk how it goes#im so tired man ive had such a long week its been good but so fucking long you know like holy shit stuff just all the time#had a choir performance which was pretty badass#ive gotten further in rereading homestuck just watched me and my bro hug it out which was great#stridercest nation rise up#went to the dentist showed him my sick ass wisdom tooth necklace and he loved it and he took a billion pictures#gonna go to a new therapy support group thing try it out see how it goes maybe ill like it maybe i wont#these are just kind of life updates cause idk its weird to have shit happen and then just never talk about it to anyone really#been drawing a lot lately its nothing super cool but im having fun with it#i watched trolls 3 again tonight what a fucking fantastic movie cinema is alive and well#branch reminds me of karkat so much and its hilarious like thats just the same guy#i tried making hummus tonight but fucked it up it was too sour but no big ill try again another time#idk i think thats all ive got to say. thanks for tuning in see you next time
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Literally only I could get upset when getting a kinda cool uquiz result lmao
#smol has a quick vent#yes its that bugbear thing. look they sound cool and all but not in a way I could be even if I was cool#I am far more shallow than I thought it seems cause like. I like forests and stuff right. Find them comforting and also big fan of the#horror trope There's Something In The Woods. but if u assign me green and brown colour palette and some forest-y bullshit im mad lmao#yes that's my Gothic-wannabe-ass complaining but it's also like. In what universe am i formidable. When do I face adversaries#literally said my vice is cowardice and it's like 'u take on adversaries and have an indomitable spirit' no. I'm sorry I tricked you???#into thinking im something noble?? It's literally Not That Deep but here we are lmaoooo basically I uh#I don't know if I like myself? I'm trying to. But I don't. I don't know how much is 'me' and how much is 'fixable'#at what point do I change so much im not me anymore? When do I become someone worthy of being 'me'#which makes the Old Me unworthy. So that makes Current Me unworthy. How much is an act and how much is me#I would like to be comfortable existing but im not. There's a version I'd like to be that is unattainable#and results like that are equally unattainable if not moreso. And I don't wanna be that#it's also petty personal bias like really? A fuckin druid? great.#(an aside this reminds me of a time an ex-friend said I gave off druid-y faerielike vibes with the fuckin flowing white dress and the#flowers in the hair like boo. no. boring. Give me dark Gothic roses and frills and leather and corsets and a powerful beauty and elegance#like I like the fae stuff sometimes the changeling idea hits a little close but im not some boring elf fuck you)#basically this is like 60% of Virgo answers on those old The Signs As posts (I miss those) and I was mad them and im mad now lol#it's also meant im being a little bitch in. well not friend group. it's a public server which is easy to forget sometimes#so yeah sorry gamersssss i will shut up and continue to play as halfelf rogues cause im BASIC
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#gonna ramble in the tags because my brain sucks and if i put this in my own personal discord server im gonna see it all the time#so id rather throw it here and forget about it and have it drowned out by various fandom posts and other posts i simply find neat#existential anxiety is an absolute fucking bitch and i hate that it randomly haunts me often for no reason#i have however figured out that its exacerbated by stress and feeling a lack of control over my life#cause one day im gonna be old and close my eyes for the last time and thats it#i wont wake up in a new life and forget this one i wont be in a number of fictional universes i enjoy#i wont even wake up in an afterlife#hell even if there is on (i believe there is) i wont see it cause i have aphantasia#i see absolute sweet fuck all in my head! even my dreams tend to be kinda fuzzy and tunnel visioned!#im nearly 30 and as a kid i oculd never conceive of life beyond my teens and as a teen i couldnt imagine my 20s#and now im turning 29 this year ive temporarily moved halfway across the world to be with my fiance of 8 years in an attempt to make this#move permanent and... ive done nothing truly significant#i wanted to work in languages as a teen primarily because i loved hetalia at the time and it sparked my desire to truly understand history#and culture and communication and finally connect with people#it really should have been obvious to the career coach lady that i was autistic seriosuly how the fuck did it go unnoticed by everyone#except my mother and she didnt even support me properly!#youd think that this anxiety would propel me into doing the things i want to do which rn is photography#but nope! all it does is make me scared to sleep because what if thats the last time i close my eyes and i dont know it?!#so now im here occasionally publishing my silly tiktok videos#doing my best to not backhand mil or shake my fiance because they talk like a baby sometimes and that sets off various buttons with me#for reasons i havent fully figured out yet#i have so many friends and interests and the family i still speak to is lovely and supportive#though lets not get into nanny getting old and knowing that itll be time to say goodbye to her though hopefully not for another decade#but yeah. my brain sucks i cant afford to go back to therapy rn because im unemplyed#the job hunt sucks cause canadas job market is somehow worse than englands and i cant even get financial support here cause temp resident#and every so often my brain just throws this existential bullshit at me for no reason#im gonna go do the souless job search now#and set this to not be reblogged because frankly no one needs to be inflicted with this in their head
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hey we all have bad feelings, it's the actions we do with those feelings that matters. i know i'm just so random stranger but a word of advice: talking with someone you trust about what you're experiencing and minimizing the amount of harm (no matter how small) that you put back into the world can go a long way in taking control of a bad time
comfort check
lounging in an ouch position?
haven't taken a deep breath lately?
hungry? thirsty?
need to use the toilet?
too much sensory input?
this is your reminder to get comfortable! go do what you need to do!
#after i responded last night i had a thought and looked back at what other things you were posting#and it mostly was rejecting self-care/self-maintenance posts#which idk about them but i'm someone who has so many issues that i made a side called fucking-relax about them#ive been suicidal since i was like 12 years old and attempted when i was 19 and am still here at 25 cause pure spite kept me going#if ive learned anything; its that taking care of myself and surroundings is sometimes the only thing left btwn me and giving in#also some bitches (me) forgets to eat and shit so this reminder helps in other ways lolol#staying uncomfortably rarely resolves anything. but you can handle a lot more stuff when youve got your basic needs met
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it is dangerous to promote unverified fundraisers! marryum-aljabill/Murryum Al Jabill/Marryum Al Jabill is a scammer. they previously linked to a known scam paypal account, and then edited their paypal link out of their post once people caught on
what's more, the only pictures posted on their gogetfunding link are taken from these three articles
https://www.timesofisrael.com/uk-charities-urge-government-to-welcome-gazans-with-family-ties-in-britain/ https://www.channelnewsasia.com/world/israel-hamas-war-gaza-talks-truce-ramadan-mossad-netanyahu-4184131 https://dppa.un.org/en/un-chief-calls-israel-to-spare-civilians-more-suffering-gaza
https://www.tumblr.com/justforyouu/753745959576535040/this-is-a-scam-this-user-has-not-been-vetted-by?source=share
would you mind deleting their scam from your blog, or clearly labeling it as a scam so it doesn't spread to others?
please familiarize yourself with the posts of some current scammers while they are still under these usernames: fancystudentyouth, smwitais, glitteryfesthaks, tacofriends, millicah, mallycahs-blog, holiyfarrtfatuma, nuttydestinieallli, dutfullydeepdreamlland, beatriceegiveer, nako700, marryum-aljabill, kawaiipeachpainter, burningvoidbird, chieffurygiver
i really recommend looking at their pinned posts in order to better recognize scams, not just using this list as a blocklist, because once they are terminated they each will immediately remake their scams under a new username
I literally didn't know.
I don't have the energy, time, or knowledge to verify every single gofundme and donation link. So I am no longer going to reblog any of them unless it's a master post of them.
If I get any asks about sharing donation links, I'm sorry. I'm not going to and will delete the asks because I literally can not verify it. Again, at this point I'm only going to reblog long master posts of verified donation links.
#ask#thanks for letting me know#i had to wait a day before answering cause when I got this ask I was going to kneejerk react and honestly im positive#you are only trying to help even if I read it as aggressive. thansk for the links#this is still important to share#but im so fucking tired#and to anyone reading these tags who want to try or does these scams#shame on you and fuck you. how DARE you try to use peoples tragedies for your own profit#as for the master post I reblogged once#ill try to find it again and pin it unless I find a newer one#anything about palestine/gaza/the genocide is just under the palestine tag#palestine#and to make it clear. of course I think its important to donate and/or just help where you can#but i am out of my depth here#honestly I just want to start just sharing stuff about their food and culture whenever I come across posts like that#especially since most posts I find about palestine is more and more tragedy and the horrors they are facing#its feeling like they are only being viewed as their tragedy#lets not forget they also have lifes and things to share too that are important to keep alive#this will also be under the palestine tag
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“‘I’d have broken you. It might have cost me hundreds but I’ve got them, and the police always back my sort against yours. You don’t know. We’d have got you into quod, for blackmail, after which— I’d have blown out my brains.’
‘Killed yourself? Death’
‘I should have known by that time that I loved you.’”
^one of many parts of maurice that actually make me want to jump off a cliff
#skimming through it to find good quotes for my project#but like fuuuuckk#the moment maurice realizes the class system is preventing him from actually pursuing fulfilling relationships#and conforming to societal expectations of a middle class straight man is killing him#im mad most of the lines from this part were cut from the movie#cause in the movie hes like 'you fucking poor person i hate you and i would gladly kill you .... actually nevermind lets forget about it'#but here its more like#'listen alec maybe i would have gotten you arrested but then i would have realized i actually love you because im stupid'#loses that little bit of nuance#my post#maurice
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