#cause i dont really get a paycheck

[savage-rhi]

First: HONEY DON'T FEEL BAD FOR CRITIQUING THERAPISTS AND THE WAY SHITS RUN! WE NEED TO HEAR THAT! I'm in mental health, and there are some REAL nasty pieces of work in the field who like preying on patients' vulnerability, and they're damn good at manipulating the systems and social dynamics!

Second, everyone should check this out. It brings up so many good points and considerations to make when seeking therapy or another mental health related service.

[dzozef]

depression so bad it got my dad who doesnt believe in mental health telling me that i should go back to therapy

[heyitslapis]

its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on

Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit

[gothboyboogie]

hmm 2

[this-hopeless-war]

i haven't been online so here's some headcanons idk if i've posted before im eepy

(tw talking about sh, kinda dark so don't read if that's triggering, that part will be at the end and separated so you can easily skip it)

Ace fucking loves snow

Dallas has shitty vision but he doesn't want nor can he afford glasses (and let's be honest, he'd break em within a day)

When Pony turned 15 Soda started teaching him about cars and etc, when pony was 16 he got a job at the DX 

Due to them working together Pony started to like Steve more

Darry hates when it rains because it means he can't do his roofing gig and he'll come home stressed/grumpy over missing a day of his paycheck

Dally can go a scary long time without sleep, he'll be up for 2 days straight and still be socializing and shit

Dally and Two-Bit once had a drinking contest that didn't end well for anyone involved 

Two-Bit took high school drama (thinking about this is genuinely how I get through the day at school)

During the week Pony was gone, Soda vented to Steve a lot, they honestly grew a lot closer

The first time he was alone after Pony and Johnny got back, Steve cried from relief

⬇️warning here's where talk of sh starts (also added some resources at the end if you read them then feel distress😨)

Steve has had issues with sh (OUGH I love him)

And because of it being in an environment where mental health isn't really talked about at all or very understood, he doesn't really know that sh is, like, an actual thing, he just considers it a way to take out emotion when fighting isn't doing it

And no one ever really acknowledged it (they can see scars on his arm)

Though i'm toying around with headcanons for a bit in my head where (TW) he relapses at the back of the DX after a REALLY bad night where his dad said and did some not-so-handy-dandy things and Soda walks in (Spoiler alert: Steve gets a hug and cries but Soda doesn't cause he thinks he should be tough abt it or something, when he gets home he does though)

After that Steve is at the Curtis's even more and Soda even goes over to the Randle's a couple times cause when Steve is feeling really horrible he calls him up

I also have vague ideas for a bit with Evie

Where she, like, does smt abt it cause she's worried and he's always dodged questions

not 100% sure how it'll work yet though

This is a post of a list of hotlines for the USA, if you found this triggering or are in distress in general please message/call one

⬆️There are help lines everywhere, please done hesitate to search up the numbers for your country and call/text them

And here's just some websites or apps that can help you in times of distress

Have a handy dandy day!

[pumpkinsy0]

I NEED MORE WELDING CURLY CONTENT

ok welder curly exist in the context that him and pony live together and r adults, let that b known!!!

•curly has sooooo many burn marks, pony always scolds him for not being more careful. he comes home and says “if we wanna keep having matching scars u gotta come down to the shop w me”

•since roofers and welders r part of construction, curly thought he had a one way ticket to getting closer w darry and in a way????he is???? darry doesnt mind construction talk but hes not passionate about it, meanwhile curly is passionate about welding so he goes on and on about it, darry is warming up to curly so he lets him

•ponys heard about all the things welding can do to ur body, and he FORCES curly to buy more gear, if not for his safety at least for ponys sake. curly gets teased about it at his work and curly says “its for the missus”

•YKNOW WHAT RLLY FASCINATES CURLY ABOUT THE JOB?? the colors on the metal when hes done w his work, he doesnt talk about it cause he thinks that sounds way too corny so when ppl ask, he just says hes in it for the fire aspect of the job, which isnt wrong, he totally is

•he makes the dumbest fucking faces under his mask, thats when u know hes in the zone, it kinda looks like the fuck boy face, pony knows about it and thinks its the funniest thing ever, bc he does it when sometbing is even remotely CLOSE to welding, like putting ketchup on his food, like dude what r u DOING

•curly is making BANK, like for a good long while hes making more than pony and he makes it KNOWN!!! curlys paycheck is used for necessities like rent, food, yada yada yada so when pony acts up curly will loudly say “what r u doin using MY _____”

•pony joked and called welding “metal sewing” and curly didnt talk to him the rest of the night

•curlys set fire to his clothes MULTIPLE times without even knowing it, he just thought he was warming up cause it was hot in his uniform but nope, his clothes were on fire and for that reason he wears the ugliest clothes he has to work

•as attractive as pony thinks curly looks in his uniform he cant exactly tell him apart from everyone else, pony had to go over curlys place to give him his lunch he left over and ended up being late to his next destination cause he couldnt find the mf. after that day pony took curlys mask and gave it a lil design tweak so he KNEW he was talking to curly

•”my hands look like this is so his can look like THAT” “will u shut the fuck up already”

•hes REALLY good at his job btw, i mean that, hes one of the bosses favs bc of his work and attitude

•curlys accidentally blinded a couple insects bc they were right near him when he was welding and he aint shoo them away, he does them a favor and just kills em, they will notttt survive in the wild😭

•curly loves making decorations for the house, he does it to save money AND impress pony (and others too ig🙄🙄), so far hes made a flower, wall hooks, a dragon wall sculpture, just a simple pice of metal w his and ponys name melted into it (that was his first tume testing out welding) and a wine rack (for a friend’s wife)

•as much as he likes it, i dont think its something he could do for the rest of his life, he would like to live a decently healthy life believe it or not

[emgene]

maybe an enhypen reaction to their s/o being a clumsy person?

i’m such a clumsy person so…😂

alsooo i’ve followed you for a really long time, probably a little bit after i started my account and i just love your fics! my favorite i think is the enhypen reaction to them wanting their s/o to wear their clothes but they’re oblivious. ahhh i just thought it was soooo cute and i also want to make a reaction like that. it’s adorable!! i’m also very oblivious to those sort of things hahaha 🤪 so anyways i just want you to know that your a fantastical writer and you’re amazing!! 💕💕 i hope you have an awesome day/night because you only deserve the best ^^

HIHI sorry for this being so extremely late!! school was a wreck and then familial problems ensued, but whatever! thank you so much for your love and support, it means so much to me!! Love you!! <3

Enhypen With a Clumsy S/O

warnings: not edited, jay is dramatic, riki mentions you possibly falling into a pond... i dont think i swore?

Jungwon is constantly worried about you. He's always watching your every move. You keep him on his toes, he swears someday you're going to end up in the hospital 'cause you tripped over your own damn feet. He says that half of his paycheck is spent on bandages for you.

Heeseung finds it hilarious. He makes fun of you, too. You'll trip and for the next hour you'll hear him going "WHOOP-" and pretend to fall. You'll leave for work and he'll say, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Literally!"

You, sweetheart, are the reason that Jay will start greying early. You give him so much stress, he swears he'll go into cardiac arrest. He threatens to put you in a bubble, or wrap you in bubble wrap. It looks like he has children because everything is baby-proofed. Jay carries around a first-aid kit specifically for you.

Honestly Jake doesn't really realize how clumsy you are until he sees on the bruises on your legs. He questions you about it and you end up listing what each bruise is from. The table, the stairs, the wall... Only then does he notice just how frequently you tend to get hurt. He jokes around about having to get one of those leash backpacks for you.

Sunghoon is more... bewildered and amused than worried? You'll smack your head on an open cabinet door and he'll just sigh and chuckle before going to check on you. He likes to say that if it weren't for him and his "incredible" nursing skills, you would've irreparably injured yourself already.

Sunoo says you are the entertainment in his life. He almost makes you getting hurt into a game. "How many times will Y/N get hurt today?". He does this thing where, if he has to put a bandage on you, he'll let you put one on him in solidarity. Is it a waste of bandages? Yes. Does he care? Not really.

Ni-Ki... he causes many of your injuries. He doesn't mean to! He just forgets that you don't usually catch yourself when he "bumps" into you. He teases you a lot, just like Heeseung, if not more. You'll go to the park or something and he points out everything you could hurt yourself on. "Hey you could fall into that bush! or slip on the gravel! or get hit in the head by a soccer ball! Or-" "Riki..." "maybe someone will push you into the pond!" "RIKI!"

[deceptive-daydreams]

Rockstar!Eddie x Reader Blurb

So this originated from this post by @uglypastels but I just wanted to start organizing my stuff because I'm def writing more and I need to have the lore and shit all in one place which is why I'm posting it here.

Basically, this is rockstar!eddie having this urgent need to spoil you, he tells you to quit your job because it's stressing you out so bad and he has the means to take care of you but you refuse. Lots of fluff, Eddie is a sweetie pie with a huge heart even after his band takes off

i can see like early on in the relationship you haven't moved in with him yet and still live in a little apartment in a shitty part of town and he swears you are the one like has never felt this way about anyone before but he really tries to refrain from suffocating you with his love because he doesn't wanna scare you away. As the relationship grows he hangs out at your apartment in the evenings when you come home from work exhausted and he just loves on you and gets you takeout cause you're so tired and life has just been stressing you out with all the bills and living paycheck to paycheck. He knows that struggle all too well from his upbringing and he can't stand seeing you suffer that way cause you're his baby and you deserve to be spoiled and treated like royalty.

You've been to his house before however you dont get to go over there a lot because of how much you're working but lets just say its fucking nice. It's not super big but its so homey and also screams eddie with the metal posters everywhere and guitars and such. He even has a little pool and a hot tub that you never get to enjoy with him because of how busy you are. He can't take it anymore, he feels like you're so beyond overworked and he will not have it.

One night you're laying in your bed with him complaining about work and all the bullshit thats been happening lately and hes just playing with your fingers, putting his rings on yours and then back on his, just back and forth fidgeting cause hes nervous to ask his question. As you're wrapping up a story from another shitty work situation you're like "that's so fucked up, right!? i've been keeping an eye out for a new job though so hopefully-" and he cuts you off cause no, you won't be getting a new job that will only stress you out, not if he can help it. "Move in with me." he says suddenly. You just turn to look at him like he's insane and before you can protest he's like "no, I'm serious. Move in with me. Let me take care of you, I can't watch you do this anymore." He's super sincere about it and his eyes are all big and pleading. You go on to tell him that you can't do that, you need to make it on your own and it lowkey turns into a fight. You're telling him that you're not going to rely on a man for your wellbeing and saying stuff like "do you think that lowly of me?!" and this is not how it was supposed to go, he just genuinely wants to see you happy and doing all the things you want to do that you never have time for because you're working.

He cups your cheeks in his hands and is like "baby, I think so highly of you, I just wanna give you the world. Please let me. Let me give you all the things I never imagined I'd ever be able to." You still get defensive about it cause he's not just asking you to move in, he's asking you to quit your job and basically run away from your current life which....that's not so bad cause your current life is shit but its also so scary because its the only normal you know so how could you just up and leave it?? You turn him down and let him know that you just can't and he respects your boundaries so after that he leaves it. He still hates how miserable you are but he still wants to be there for you as much as he can. It fucking sucks cause when your car starts acting up he just wants to take it in and get it fixed cause there would literally be no financial burden on him but for you, it would cost like months of rent. To work around it, he says he'll fix it cause he has so much experience with cars and even works on his own all the time. He has it towed to his house where he can use all his tools and stuff in his garage and while he could secretly just take it in somewhere to have it fixed, he doesn't want to upset you if you found out cause he knows you would try to pay him back and he knows you'd find a way to see how much it costs and it would just add to your stress. He doesn't mind doing it himself anyway, its therapeutic so he has it up and running again in a few days.

He loves that you're so independent but it doesn't change that he just wants to shower you with everything you could ever deserve. One day he waits for you at your apartment to come home from work, he has a key and everything and he's setting up a little after work dinner date, nothing too crazy but he brought over an expensive wine for you to try and he can't cook for shit but he's trying to learn so he makes spaghetti and meatballs for you. When you step in the door, he's all excited and running toward the door to greet you, the room actually smells really good and he even threw together some garlic bread and he's super proud of himself and he's excited to see your reaction. Only when he sees you, he stops dead in his tracks because there are tears and mascara streaming down your face and you have one of those frowns that you get when you're trying not to cry but the tears are stinging your eyes. He gathers that you cried all the way home and are trying to hold it together in front of him. He just rushes over and scoops you up to hold you on the couch in his lap and you can't contain the tears anymore, you just start sobbing into his chest while he rubs your back and soothes you. "I've got you, I'm right here." He doesn't even ask for an explanation, he's just there for you and he hopes that when you're ready, you'll tell him but if not, that's okay too.

You're still full on crying, snot and all when you pull back to tell him through a wobbling voice and sniffles "I-I can't do it anymore." And he has an idea of what you're referring to but he just nods with sympathy in his eyes. "Life sucks s-so bad. Don't wanna do it anymore." You would be hiccupping and getting yourself really worked up like almost not breathing. He would shush you gently and cradle your jaw in his hand, the tears slipping down into his hand and say "Baby, you need to breathe, okay? Gonna make yourself sick." and he would help you with little breathing exercises to kinda calm your nervous system. It would work a little but you're still super upset. He sparks an idea and if you yell at him again then so be it cause he just wants his baby to enjoy life and not come home crying more often than not. He would pull your head into his chest again and just whisper "Come live with me. Please. You can quit this job, find something new that you actually like." He tries to reason with you because he knows from last time that you would absolutely not just up and leave without any plans to help pay for things even though he won't allow it. "Eddie, I can't do that to you, I don't know how long it'll take me to find something decent." You would tell him sadly although its a much different reaction than last time because it sounds like you might be on board in some way if you could work things out how you needed. "Sweets, I can't watch you do this anymore. I'd much rather you quit and take some time to find something you actually love than stay here and be sad every day. Come stay with me, you don't even have to get rid of your apartment if you don't want to but just come stay with me and decompress. Let me spoil you a little bit while you figure it out. That's all I want." He sounds so genuine and is talking so softly its making you melt.

Eventually you work out a little deal where you'll stay at his house and search for work in the area. You use up the remaining money you have to keep paying rent on your apartment that you don't even use anymore. Secretly Eddie goes to the leasing office and pays off like a year's worth of rent and gives you your money back. "What this for?" you would ask as you looked at job listings while lounging around at his kitchen counter. He'd just shrug and kiss your cheek. "Don't worry about it." But you will most definitely worry about it. You get heated again and finally pull the information out of him and he admits that he got your money back and paid off a year for your apartment so you wouldn't have to give it up should you decide you don't want to stay with him permanently. It's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for you but you come at it raging because he shouldn't have to do this. You're trying to argue with him but he just grabs your hands calmly and is like "Listen. I had nothing growing up, I lived in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere." You're not really sure why he's going into this, you knew this from all the late night talks where you'd just lay in bed when neither of you could sleep. "I always had to decide if I wanted to eat or if I wanted to keep the lights on. And I'll be damned if I let you go through that or anything similar to that. I don't wanna spend my money on fancy designer shit or brand new cars. I want to spend it on you and making you comfortable and happy because now I can. I never thought I'd be able to do that for someone but I can now and you're my girl. Let me take care of you in the ways I never even dreamed I'd be able to take care of someone." You start crying again because what the fuck no one has ever been so sweet in your entire life and you're like what did I do to deserve this???

He's there wiping the tears away and nudging his nose against yours. You still don't want to give in but he's so damn sweet and he's being so vulnerable with you, this is something so personal to him. "I'm still getting a job and paying my half." You choke out. He just agrees because it'll make you happy but little do you know that whenever you give him any money he puts it aside in its own account for you. You end up working at a little flower shop and its beautiful, you get to be creative and you aren't stressed beyond your limits every single day. He visually sees that you're happier and you have this glow to you. One day you're both on his couch after he came home from a recording session and you worked late at the flower shop because you'd been working on some arrangements for a big event. You're both so tired and snuggly just watching some stupid movie while snacking. He's got you in between his legs and his thumb is stroking your hip, you both forget about the movie and just start talking about endless things. It comes up that you'd like to start your own little business some day, possibly your own flower shop that also sells cute little things from other small businesses (like soaps, art, etc.). Maybe even have a little coffee bar in it. He sees the way your eyes light up and he just smiles so softly down at you. He puts you both in a position where you're sitting criss cross in front of him and he's doing the same in front of you. "Let's do it then." he says like its the most obvious thing in the world. You scoff cause you don't have even a fraction of the money saved to start a business.

He pulls up a banking app on his phone and starts tapping his fingers away before setting the phone in your hands. You look at it all confused and he's just staring at you all dopey and cute but you have no idea why. He blurts out "It's yours. Every penny you've given me to cover bills. I put it away for you." You gasp when you realize how much money has built up in the account. You want to scream at him but you also know that he didn't do it against his will, he did it because he wanted to, he never does anything he doesn't want to. He's super stubborn even when it comes to his record label trying to tell him what to do. Again, the waterworks start and you collapse into him. He starts telling you "I know you don't like that I do things like this but you're my girl and I can't help it." He would press a kiss to the top of your head and you would pull back to look up at him and just grab him by his shirt so you could kiss him with so much emotion. That night you just make love to each other for hours, you can't keep your hands off each other. You don't know it but he's also planning on buying you a ring really soon and he's going to buy the one that he's seen you stare out when you've been out with him. It's a simple ring that's more dainty than anything and it doesn't even cost a lot, he just sees the way your eyes grow every time you pass that same shop and see it in the window and he knows that he's going to get it for you.

After that night you have less trouble letting him do things for you. Obviously you avoid it if you can but you don't scold him every time he slides his credit card over to pay for things or when you find out he's paid off a loan you had taken out a long time ago for that time you went to cosmetology school a few years ago that didn't end up working out. Suddenly the balance is zero and when you call to clear it up they tell you its been paid off. You make sure to give him the best head of his life but then also complain a little because you feel guilty that he took care of it. He shushes you by shoving his face in between your legs.

~end~

[star--nymph]

sorry to bother you but templars dont get paid? i thought carver joined the templars in da2 in part for money, i dont remember the lore too much but if you have source of that?? cause thats wild gosh if it wasnt bad enough to have them addicted to lyrium

Oh, hey! It's not a bother at all. Admittedly when I wrote that post it was a bit off the cuff (in my defense it was like 10pm and I was super tired) and I was basing it off what Cullen said during his romance scene, "Templars are not supposed to carry such things [coin], our faith should see us through".

Now this could be that what he's referring to is 'luck' here but it could also be that they aren't allowed to take anything, including coin. While there's no insistences templars taking a vow of poverty that we know of, we can at least infer from canon that they aren't encourage to keep much.

But you're right, there is mention though I couldn't find Carver saying it was for money--he explicitly says in Legacy he joined to get out of Hawke's shadow and be his own person. That doesn't mean that the line doesn't exist, of course, just that I couldn't find it (and personally I've only ever had Carver become a Grey Warden). That said in DA2, we get Keran say that he sends his paycheck back to his family and if he is expelled from Templars, there's a quest in Act 2 about his family's debt.

With that and the fact that templars can pay for services in the Blooming Rose (unless there is some kind of deal with templars get in for free, which I doubt), we know there is some pay. How much it is, we don't know.

There is also the mention that if a templar gets married, they have to show proof that their spouse can support themselves (according to David Gaider and the DA Wiki).

We're not really told if this is an insistence only found in Kirkwall or in DA2 either. There's, in fact, a lot we don't know about Templars, so we can only make assumptions. My assumptions it is that Templars, at least in Kirkwall and Ferelden, make little to no money--probably enough to send back to their families--and are encouraged to rely entirely on the Templars for resources. Cullen in particular doesn't seem to have kept much, so if he did have a paycheck, I have to assume it was sent over to his siblings in South Reach.

I saw someone say they're probably paid in lyrium and I mean, given what we know, I wouldn't say that's far from the truth either. Faith and lyrium is what sustains most of them.

But please don't take my word for it entirely. DA Lore is a big puzzle that's ever changing and probably also depends on the region. For all we know, Templars in Orlais could be making BANK.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I didn’t let my friend bring their partner to social events?

We are all in our 30s and all trans/NB/queer. My friend (B) and I have known each other nearly 20 years, and over those years they’ve had a rough dating history. They’ve had several emotionally and mentally abusive or neglectful partners, further details about that I won’t give here. I’ve met most of them and they’ve always disliked me for various reasons (usually they were just jealous of the place I held in their life).

Recently though, B seems to have found someone who makes them happy (we’ll call them T) and T treats them better than their previous partners. Which is great! I’m happy for B. But I find T insufferable.

Granted, I don’t have to see T very often, but when I do its always uncomfortable.

The first time I met T they trauma dumped immediately. In the first half hour I knew all about their horrible family but couldn’t tell you any hobby or interest they had. We were in a very public place and I didn’t feel it was the most appropriate topic to get to know someone, but I tried to relate with my own stories all the same. However, T always had to “one up” every story I told. it felt like a “whose childhood was worse” competition.

The second time we all hung out T ignored me completely, really only hanging around and talking to B. Since it was B’s birthday I didn’t really mind at all. Plus, we were at a beercade so everyone was kinda off doing their own thing. But even when we all sat down they just kinda threw looks my way but didnt say a word to me.

But most recently I had hosted a halloween party (it was only 8 folks so tiny party) where B and T both showed up. When T asked me how work was going I started with what I felt was a normal “Ah yeah, it sucks but—” and before I could say anything else they spoke over me to say

“Yeah you’ve mentioned you hate your job every time I’ve seen you so thats sort of my only impression of you :/ ”

(a possibly important side note: B and T are both doing things that they enjoy but have to hustle a bit to make ends meet whereas I have a full time retail job through which i have insurance so leaving isnt as easy for me since I have more tied up in my job than just a paycheck)

This really pissed me off, as not only is being interrupted a huge pet peeve, but there are aspects of my job I enjoy. I just never got to talk about them because the conversation would either divert or we would just stop talking altogether. Also the way they came across felt pretty judgmental.

T then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking about everything from the movie to the snacks with therapy speak and trauma processing. (ex: I think I’m locked into this movie because it might’ve been a safe haven for me during my childhood and I just dont remember watching it but I can feel its importance to me) And only ever to B, never engaging with anyone else.

(another note: they are not the only one at the party with anxiety. two of my other friends have severe social anxiety and while maybe a little awkward were still able to hold casual conversations. no one was a stranger to anyone at the party)

This also meant that I didn’t get to spend any time with B during the party either, which was a shame cause I see them so rarely.

I understand that trauma processing is important and its great if you have someone in your life that can help you. It does not need to happen every where all the time. And I’m worried that B might be getting taken advantage of like they have in the past (in the sense that they have to do all the emotional legwork in the relationship and get very little of that effort back).

I’m tired of catering to this attitude and I don’t enjoy being around them, so I no longer want to involve them in group events I host.

would that make me an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[nrc-therapist]

How did I get dragged into this for a second time?

goodbye, xoxo <-lol I'm back

haha I might actually be a masochist, I left school and escaped being a therapist, but no I'm back

anywho, do tell me your troubles and I'll..be there

^(my abilities aren't much, I'm a knock-off therapist. a therapist from spell-mart, if you will)

NOW WITH A SOUNDPROOF OFFICE!

AND NOW OFFICIALLY GETTING PAID WOOOOO!!!

ask game!! oc lore doc

now, be mindful of what you say:

don't be an asshole (no homophobia/racism/etc)

no nsfw, I'm not here to read smut, but innuendos or sexual jokes are okay

even if you are allowed to reclaim some slurs, I ask you dont use them since 1) I don't know if you really can reclaim them and 2) people might get uncomfortable from them

dealing with heavier subjects is okay, but don't overdo it. otherwise I will have to take drastic measures (blocking)

keep in mind, I have to get tutoring from housewarden rosehearts for some classes, so I can't be active all the time CAUSE I HAVE FUCKING TUTORING CLASSES-

flirting/bickering/etc with Mid is okay, but remember that both Mid AND the person behind her are minors/has actual feelings

please inform me if calling you things like "love, sweetie, honey, etc" makes you uncomfortable since I use them quite often

yes, simping about questionable ppl is something we can address

if an overblot is happening...fml call me over

VICE HOUSEWARDEN HUNT ISNT ALLOWED IN MY OFFICE!! this was never here

by the way you can pay for my silence<3 or maybe I should start a magicfans where I talk about things I hear in my office and give you life updates-

btw guys if you ever see crowley, do tell him that I need my paycheck-

about the therapist:

info post

so uhh, I'm mid. or midnight, that works too. a third year at ignihyde, who led a revolution against crowley..twice. I go by any pronouns, and I am in fact one of them queers

dawn

you can add emojis to be a specific anon

current anons: 🚨, mom iss.,🍋, 🗝, 🍮, 🐭, 🐀, 🕷, 🔏, $, 🍂, 🦊, 🦚🏹, 🥯, 🫀🧪, 💐, 🚩, 🐯, gossip girl, 🕑, 🦋

and if you want to see more of me ooc my blog is @idkanametoputhere !! i write twst fantics there every now and then! plus I also run @idk-group for my oc's

Happy I could help!

[razmazaniya]

actually idgaf. i feel better temporarily but here's the text from my uber melodramatic breakdown about self sacrifice / "therapist friend"ing / emotional burnout from discord + me fixing it. for the jirai gang. under the . under the Cut , if you will.

ᓚᘏᗢ 🩷⠀ ━─ breakdown below

trigger warning just in general this sucks

• ───────────────── •

Turns out i as an alter greatly overextend myself socially and emotionally and compensate for my lack of deep vulnerable moments or true security that i constantly try to provide others by gathering egotistical praises about my personality or ability or how nice and good i am at serving and caring for others and the bottling up has turned into repression so i have been having panic attacks and breakdowns and lashing out and psychosis during my antispychotic medication and not knowing why and dismissing it but all along it was ... Giving out way more than i get back (i do it to myself mostly)

Being the new best friend who makes life so much better and always tracks and is fun and sincerely loving for like 8 people all within 4 hours everyday can make your head spin until you dont even know what YOU really want or who YOU are or what YOUR memories are because nothing nothing nothing matters only other people perfect friend best friend best boyfriend best husband housewife best daughter best son best employee. And then you forget everything. But your body doesnt. If you can maintain your composure and comfort and make jokes and compliment and work and fawn and stay quiet and apologize sit stay roll over come don't get upset when they bite you Defend them anyway loyal dog. And the drugs dont get you. And you sleep enough. And you eat. And you drink water. Because you think youre just your body. Your nervous system starts to kill you and breakdown. You start to go insane a little bit at a time. And people will watch. And frown and pat you and say oh oh im here for you. Im listening. You dont even know whats wrong, and if you do, youre not allowed to say. Its bad to say. Its probably not even true. Its just a selfish feeling. You have cluster b, dont you? Youre just being self centered again. Everyone does enough for you. This is enough. Maybe you need a break. Its probably a lie. Nothing is wrong. Youre just so good you overperform! Youre unable to take a break. You always have to be doing something. You have an episode. You take a 10 minute break. You come back. You never address the root cause. You leave for a few hours to do something you like for yourself. You worry about all the time youre missing with others. You come back. Everythings on fire and youre not in service mode. Youre scared and feel like it's your fault for not being there. Everyone says it's not. But just because they say it doesn't mean you couldn't have made things better or they're not all accustomed to your presence. That they all need you. Because you made them like this by always being nice unconditionally. You don't have a life anymore. It's for a bunch of other people. Your work and paycheck and time and energy and career and where you live and where you go are all gonna be for everyone else in your life and you're gonna say it makes you happy because you really do sincerely love other people and you love to be the perfect person and love to be devoted and WANTED. And you're gonna forget who you are because you never knew them. And be happy where you are. And you will have little moments of true vulnerability and that will be enough to go right back to the way you were for the next three weeks at minimum. Just one person you truly open up to and trust and some praise and validation and reassurance from everyone else that doesn't really mean anything like an OCD compulsion calmed down only to flare right back up again. Cus you were raised to be like this and now you're choosing to lean into it. Maybe it's all you know how to do to get people to love you. Something will always be wrong. And you will keep getting over the same thing every hour of the day until you die ♡

giggling. Im actively doing it all again. The endless passion for being kind and wanting to be the new best friend and make someone happy and not be the reason they feel disappointed or alone. Acting the most for them so that they have no doubt you adore them and everything they do. So they dont feel like you. Im actively insecure and need to cry for irrational reasons (i still cannot cry anymore. My expression is always blank / neutral when im upset these days). [redacted details for privacy].

The little things.

Spinning a little again. It wasn't me that realized this.

I panicked so hard that I texted [my partner]. Mentally bawling and wailing and clinging. One person. Another adult who tends to be direct and will respond if i call out when i think they're not or ask more. Good judgment. Kind to me. Always kind to me. In love with me but not blind. They help me clarify everything. I broke down and told them everything about what my mom has done and said and the events of when i attacked her. And Vanny [DID regressed alter] switched in because im. Emotional. And she started to talk about ...

"I think Joy has an anxiety problem... everyday... he kind of freaks liks a panic attack. And the psychosis is worse for him. He takes all the trauma. Hes responsible for all of us, and for a lot of other actual people, too. Is it hard, are you tired?" And she kept thinking and staring and talking and she dug it right out of me. Exactly whats wrong with me. "No shit. Dipshit. Bullshit. You're not evil or selfish; you're exhausted. You're a genuinely nice person. No wonder you're burnt out; look at what happens every day of your life with every single person and thing in it!" Every little thing

I didn't even know. I never address it. I push through it and I forget.

I did this all to myself and others and its all my fault for making myself a martyr but im a little angry somehow. That no one paid attention or thought about it or cared as much as i cared and if they did they didn't show it the way i show it they didn't push the way i push.

And that's selfish and stupid. I set the bar into the sky basically heaven for myself. No one else will reach it. I cant be angry they didnt (i never expected anyone to, but somehow im still upset). Theyre too exhausted to give me that attention or push hard, and im not complaining, im not letting everyone know, im actively hiding it. Why would anyone push? Why would anyone try as hard for me as i do for them when i convince everyone i don't need it and eventually stop showing that i'm distressed at all?

That no one. Overanalyzes as much as me and is constantly looking for things like this. When i always am

Ridiculous. Nothing to be upset about. I did that.

I'll get over it. I got a little suicidal but Vanny touched me and said no and it will pass and then everything will be alright again. Knowing i act out sometimes. And you guys are my friends and i'm not angry at anyone i was/am just lashing out. I always. Get over it. I'm a bit tired of getting over it But The Way The World Works really doesn't care how tired you are and crashing out as cathartic as it is always has an awful aftermath and i'm already unstable. So no. I'm keeping my composure again and not truly forever ruining my life or relationships (again. Something i think of multiple times a day and never do.) Mature and thoughtful and thinking long-term. Again. I wonder if I will die like this always keeping it together overall even if I crash occasionally. Or if one day I will snap and do something really drastic and end up in prison or dead from it and if I will take anyone down with me. Ok anyway

Sorry for making an ass of myself. That was all very delirious and intense and kind of rude. I apologize and I'm . Gonna take a xanax

Ok we're fine

I was given dopamine

ᓚᘏᗢ 🩷⠀ ━─ end transcript

[our-transgender-experiences]

I think I might be a trans boy or nonbinary / trans guy but I feel so guilty over it

I’m an only child, and I always heard growing up that she was happy to have a daughter of her own after the mysogyny and abuse she experienced earlier in life. I was in Girl Scouts, had exactly one girl cousin ✨just my age✨, had “girl’s days” with her, all that stuff. I was kinda indirectly taught that boys were just inherently gross and terrible and had no personality and that I was special which I know is wrong but still an endless knot to de-internalize

Like I guess she could find someone else like my cousin to bond with but that would just confirm that I failed

For my dad, I’m concerned he will be confused by my gender expression

and as a Very Socially Inept Something the thought of changing my routine and how I act in public feels overwhelming

I hear all manner of horror stories from the few trans kids at school that haven’t left the state about what their family is like

And my extended family is very very conservative so there’s no way it would’nt cause a mess anyway

And life is so expensive and bleak now I can’t see myself anywhere in the future as it is let alone with five other expensive things that would feel comfortable on one paycheck assuming it’s not 100% illegal or burnt/flooded to nothing in the next year

Sorry for the long depressing anon I just can’t erase these thoughts completely and I need help

🍁

you dont need to apologise, and, that sounds like a really hard situation to be in, but its not over yet, i know that things are getting worse but theres still hope, your family might not be accepting, but they might not be forever. Don't feel guilty for being who you are, and not who they want you to be.

[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[alaydabug2]

I freaking HATE being the "Good smart kid"

I used to love it and be proud

But I HATE it now

Context:

I'm the youngest (and only girl) of four siblings

All my brothers are significantly older than me

Like 5, 10 and 13 years

The thing is they're very booksmart

Key word

BOOKsmart

But they don't apply themselves and even try

2 of them were in gifted and beta but they dropped out and didn't care

1 (who has a genius IQ) ended up doing drugs and stealing and ended up in prison

One knocked 2 girls up (one baby mama being legit cray cray) and is a dead beat to both kids

1 nearly dropped out of highschool and us 19 married to a 28 year old with 3 kids (who only really seems to be there for his paycheck)

Well (minus when I was younger) I am the "good child"

I behave do well and apply myself in school

Just got into gifted and starting out freshman year with all honors classes and in beta

I LOVE learning and stuff

But the pressure is getting to be a LOT

Im known by my classmates for being the smart kid and they only really talk to me and include me for awnsers on stuff

They get mad when I try to just help and guide them instead of flat out giving the awnsers

With my parents I'm their "last hope" cause the other three screwed up

I've always been known as the happy little girl and so I don't like crying in front of them because I don't want to worry them

Especially about stupid like this

And I've always done well in school

SO MUCH SO that when I get any sort of grade below a 90 they ask me "are you ok do you need help"

And it makes me feel like I'm not doing good enough (even though they are objectively GOOD GRADES)

Even if they don't say anything when I see anything below a 90 I feel really dissappin in myself

Yeah those jokes about "Oh I did so bad on a test I got a 88"

Yeah that's me

Then furthermore

I just had to miss 2 weeks of the first weeks of school from surgery

And when I got all my makeup work I just had a breakdown because it was SO MUCH to do

First week of high-school EVER in honors

That's a lot

I had a full on BREAKDOWN cause I was stressed out and I didn't want to miss that much school

My mama got upset with me because I was having a freak out (cause I don't usually act like that)

It's not my parents are bad

Not at all whatsoever and love them so so so much

But I feel like I'm not allowed to mess up or get a bad grade now and again because I've always been known for the smart good happy girl

I feel like I can't stray from that in being afraid of dissappinting them and myself

The bar I set myself is so high cause I want to do something with my life because my brothers just dont

I feel like I need to make up for what they didn't do with the potential they had

I don't want them to be sad when I'm lonely at school cause I have friends (I guess)

But I'm not really included in the planning they do (like homecoming) and I don't want to ask to join cause I don't want to be needy and annoying

I'm sure they'd be fine if I did ask but I don't feel like I know them enough to do thay and I don't want to be weird

And when my mama asked me today if they did include me unlike my other school where I just sat and watched I just told her they dud cause I didn't want her to be sad

I literally don't know what's wrong with me

Ik they don't HAVE to be my friend and include me in everything

Thats why I don't ask

Cause they literally DONT have to

I don't want them to feel obligated to either

Cause I've been on that and of the aisle too

And being stuck around someone you don't like but pretend to tk not hurt their feelings sucks

But at the same time.... I just really miss my best friend

I just want to know why I can never get good friends who include me in things and listen

They're either toxic or I'm the pitty friend

Am I really that annoying

But then when I act "normal" and I'm more quiet I just still....

I feel like they don't like me

I've HEARS some of these girls talk about saying others are annoying thay I thought were friends and didn't want to hurt the others feelings

I always get scared I'm that friend

I'd stay by myself but

I CRAVE companionship

Ik some of you are happy to be on your own

But I'm not that

But I'm starting to think feeling lonely is just my best option at this point

I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about it

I don't want tk worry my parents

I'm not gonna go around asking my friends "am I annoying"

By bsf lives an hour away

I just... don't know what to do about anything anymore

[honeybeewhereartthee]

PINK KKOMAS 180

- pink kkoma world -

Your currently buying BBQ from the Niki of soul mate au. Their bbq are so delicious you wonder if they have special sauce put in it.

As you enjoy your alone time. Your kinda sad that you can't buy another stick of bbq cause your allowance won't let you, that damn emperor won't even give you money again cause you don't come home for like few months.

Saying how a rebellious fae like you is not meant to get allowance to begin with.

That boss of yours is not paying you either cause NN did something again in another au.

Blob seems to spend some of your money in some streamer a few days ago too. Blob is innocent and is your favorite child. He can use all your money.

Ai said his paycheck won't arrive till next month. He use his last month to buy some stuff too.

Your taru-nii is nowhere to be seen, just how amazing of his!

While your wondering how your going to feed yourself for another day and eating the last meat, enjoying till the taste run out. Someone put a plate full of bbq in front of you.

Bee: mc do you wanna eat with me? (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

MC:...

MC, in shock: did hanii enter a CEO era without me knowing?! ฅ(๑*д*๑)ฅ!!

Bee, embarrassed: w-well.. something like that. So do you want to share bbq with me? I can't really finish all of them.( • ̀ω•́ )✧

As he said that Niki and others have come and out more plate of mountain of food in the table.

Niki: enjoy!( • ̀ω•́ )✧

MC: (*≧艸≦) sir are you single, do you wanna marry me?

Bee, laughs: no I'm married.

Mc: ( ᴗ_ᴗ̩̩ ) aww. The rich CEO hanii is taken.

Bee: (*´∇｀*) that's right. And I don't want to cheat on my spouse. Who I will feed well with delicious dish they want. So they won't have to be hungry and mop around with one stick of bbq.

MC: ( ᴗ ̫ ᴗ ) eheh. Your spouse is so lucky.

Bee: (⁎ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈⁎) you better start eating or the food won't taste as good as it's warm.

MC: oh... Aren't they for your spouse?

Bee:...

Bee, annoyed: I thought your playing around. Did you actually forget I am your spouse ??(｀ﾛ´)

MC, laughs: no.

Bee: that sound like a lie. Who did you flirt with to forget I'm your spouse? Do I need to [ beep ] and [ beep ] some whores around you again?( ｰ̀ н ｰ́ )

MC: hanii is really easy to tease. （ ᴖ ̫ᴖ ） so cute.

Bee: (っ◞‸◟c) you better be teasing or it won't end well with. Other people. 😊

MC: who knows.

Bee:...ಠ_ಠ mc your really gutsy. Maybe I should treat other kkoma instead. hmmp.

MC, in tears cause food will be gone: NAUURR. HANII DONT DO THIS TO MEEE....

Bee, smiles: who knows. Should I or should I not? ( ◠‿◠ )

This little...

Bee then proceed to spoon feed you a bbq as you pout at him. He smiles at you: enough teasing. Let's just enjoy the date ok?

MC:....*nom

MC: hanii looks extra cool just now.

Bee: I'm always cool mc. (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)