#which of course is only making me more upset

[lilreidgirl]

Bored

Summary: Your husband, Spencer, changed after getting out of prison and you finally snap

Warnings: Inspired HEAVILY by "bored" by billie eilish (my wife!!), kinda toxic relationship? and kinda toxic Spencer?, sex mentioned so MDNI(18+), not wanting sex but still having it mentioned, arguing mentioned, crying, let me know if i forgot anything!, English is not my first language, NOT PROOF READ

WC: ~1.4k

A/N: This is so bad, I just made it cause i love Billie, Spencer and angst, perfect combo BUT this is also my first angst fic so yayy!!!!

You knew it would be hard, Spencer getting out of prison and all, but you never expected this much of a change in your life. We all like to think that we aren’t extremely dependent on our relationships and that our state of mind doesn’t depend on them, but that’s not true.

Ever since he had gotten out of that horrid place, the cage they locked him in for something he didn’t do, the tortures walls he found himself to be for 3 traumatizing months, he had been different. That’s of course what one would expect, but you were hoping that with a bit of help and a lot of love, he would be alright. He wasn’t.

It started off with simple things, not wanting to touch you at all which you understood and naturally respected, staying longer at work, not being interested in what you had to say and not saying much himself either. It broke your heart seeing this empty and numb version of him, because that hollow person was supposed to be your husband.

It’s not like you didn’t try and help him get out of the dark place he was so obviously in. You have it your all, trying to get him to talk to you about what he’d been feeling, trying to make him feel some joy and normalcy but nothing worked. You were getting used to it. You were getting bored.

It was yet another night where you sat home alone, you wondered where he was, wondered if he was truly “working late” like he had so curtly informed you over text. Your mind couldn’t help but drift to all the possible things he could be doing instead of being here -- at home with his wife. God, it was unfair. You knew it was wrong to think such a thing after everything he had gone through, but couldn’t he see how you were struggling with him? How you needed him just as much as he refused to admit he needed you?

Finally as the hands on the clock showed 11:23 P.M., the door opened and Spencer walked in. His hair was unruly and a scowl that nowadays seemed to be permanent was present on his face. The tie, that you had tried to help him put on that morning but he had slapped away, hung loosely around his neck, laying unorderly on his button up shirt.

“Hi,” you said, cringing at the meekness and eagerness in your voice. Truth was this was probably the only conversation you guys were going to have for hours based on past events, so who could blame you?

“Hey,” he responded as he turned around to put his bag and shoes to rest next to the now closed door.

“How was your day?” you asked, trying to keep it simple as to not “scare him away”.

“Good.” Gosh you could roll your eyes at the bleakness of his unflavored answer.

“And how are you?” You tried again, hoping for more this time as you put the book you were reading down and unconsciously leaned towards him.

“I´m fine.” The smile on your face felt as faked as ever now, the corners of your mouth willing themselves remarkably to stay up.

“You, um- you promised you’d come home on time tonight, I made your favorite meal,” you hoped your tone didn’t sound accusatory -- the last thing you wanted was to make him upset. “It’s not like I’m in control of that.” The slight venom in his words made you almost physically flinch. He sighed exhaustedly before reluctantly muttering a small, “Sorry.”

“You going to bed?” he asked. You knew what that meant. Basically all the interactions between the two of you were short “hello´s”, heated arguments, and sex. He quite clearly wanted this short “hello” to turn into the third option. As painful as it is to admit, you were inclined to accept, to shut your mouth and go to bed. But you knew that if you did, it would be taking one step further into this dull life and marriage that now stood before your very eyes.

“No.” You shook your head as a small repeating of your response. “No? C´mon, I’ve had a long day,” he sighed again, tilting his head as he spoke, his frustration already to be seen on his face.

“I´m tired. And I just don’t want to.” You had by then made your decision; you were going to stand your ground.

“Just this once?” It was a weird thing to hear coming from his mouth, the one that had not so long ago, asked you again and again and again if you were “alright with this” and “sure”?

“It’s already been more than once, Spencer,” you couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth -- they lay before you in a tense silence.

“What?” You couldn’t say what he was feeling at that moment, his tone directing your thoughts to a variety of different emotions -- none of which were positive.

“It’s nothing-,“ you started but quickly got cut off. “No, no, it’s not ´nothing`. You’re saying… you’ve slept with me multiple times when you didn’t want to?” His hazel eyes stared at you, the familiar comfort you had once known in them gone – you tried to convince yourself it was just the dim light of the living room but at the back of your mind you knew it wasn’t.

“I…” you didn’t know what to say, all thoughts leaving your brain as he looked at you in horror. All but one; he cared. “W- Why?” He studied you intently, taking in the way your body slightly curled in on itself when his voice seemed to raise. God, he really didn’t mean to.

“Well… I just thought if I could at least give you this whenever you wanted… you wouldn’t leave. It’s not like we do much else together – that and fighting.” You admitted as you felt tears prick up in your eyes. He motionlessly stood in shock -- you could almost hear how loud his thoughts were from where you were sitting on the couch.

“…But I can’t do it anymore,” you murmured when the silence that took over the room got too much for you to bear, “I can’t keep giving you every piece of me while you…” you trailed off, feeling a gnawing feeling settle in your chest, a feeling of wrongdoing. He was struggling, you shouldn’t be doing this.

“I’m honestly getting bored of trying to get you to acknowledge me.” You watched with solemn eyes as his long legs took rushed strides so that he ended up by your side. He bent his legs, squatting down in front of you. That fear from before was still in his expression but now accompanied regret.

“I… I’m so sorry,” His hands came up to cup your face, as he tried to figure out how to word the immense amount of emotions coursing through him.

“I’m sorry, baby, I- I never meant to hurt you… I know I haven’t been in a good headspace lately. I’m going to try, okay? I’m so sorry.” He pulled you towards his chest and you immediately accepted the gesture, burying your face in his messy shirt as you started to sob.

“I just-,” you sputtered between sniffles and sobs, “I wish- I wish you would love me like you used to, love me just for being me.”

“I do, I do, I really do,” he tried to reassure you, his voice breaking. “I’ve been a mess and I’ve been mean, but I love you just as much as I did before. No, more. I love you. I love you so damn much.”

The rest of the night consisted of him repeating that phrase, that truth as he cradled you against his chest, and talking about the ways things had been, how they should be in the future – can be – will be. And as you woke up, opening your tired eyes and turning to the side, your eyes met him – your husband.

And for the first time in months, that brought a bright smile to your face.

[penkura]

Christmas Cookies

Summary: Sanji and your daughter Angel make this year's Christmas cookies and her wish makes him grateful for his life.

Note: Ahh this should be considered part of my fanfic 'knowing' and the two pieces I wrote that followed it, but don't worry, it's only the names for Sanji’s kids. :)

“So you’re going to help daddy make the Christmas cookies this year, right, Angel??”

“Yeah!!”

The little grin your Four-year-old daughter gives nearly kills Sanji every time, he still can’t believe she exists and that she’s yours, with her blonde hair tied into two little pigtails and her blue eyes shining bright at the thought of baking with him. He’s anxiously waited for this day ever since she was born, and now that she’s old enough, she can help him make and decorate cookies this year.

He’s so excited to share this with her and for Angel to enjoy more than just eating the cookies and icing.

“Is Sora gonna help?”

“He’s still a bit a too small, sweetheart, but we can make one just for him, okay?”

“Okay!”

It’s just Sanji and Angel on board that morning, everyone else has gone into town to stock up on supplies and you’d taken your one-year-old son Sora with you so he could have some time off the ship too. Sanji decided that was the perfect time to make the cookies with Angel and keep them from Luffy at first, knowing your captain.

Angel is excited herself, she’s ready to help make the dough and cut out the cookies, bake and decorate them, she has a plan in her own little head about what to do. She wanted to help last year and Sanji was prepared to let her, but she came down with the flu and was so upset about the fact she couldn’t help make the cookies that she didn’t even eat any of them. This year she’s perfectly fine and happy to help.

She listens to every instruction Sanji gives her on what to add and when, how much, and Angel is happy to do all the stirring until the ingredients really turn into dough. Sanji knew she’d be annoyed and impatiently to wait for the dough to chill, so he prepared some the night before once you’d gotten Angel and Sora to bed, and pulled out the second batch so she could cut out the shapes she wanted and he could put them in the oven right away.

Angel grabs one right away once the first batch of cookies are out of the oven, making Sanji grab her hand in return to stop her.

“Hey now! Wait for them to cool, sweetheart!”

“But daddy, I want one!” her little whine and pout make Sanji sigh, but he still shakes his head.

“I don’t want you to burn yourself, Angel. Let them cool down, then you can decorate them, okay?”

“Okay…”

Once the cookies are called down, Angel snatches up a few of the people shaped ones, going to work after Sanji gives her the icing she wants to use. He goes back to removing cookies from the oven and adding another sheet in, stepping outside to have a quick cigarette before going back to check on the cookies and your daughter. When he tries to look at what she’s doing, Angel almost throws herself on the table and pouts, trying to hide her work. It makes Sanji laugh before he pats her head.

“What are you working on, Angel?”

The pout stays on her face as she thinks, eventually sitting back in her seat and moving her arms out of the way so he can see.

“I made us…but I wanted show you and mommy…”

Sanji feels his heart swelling at that, and he just has to look, Angel starts pointing at each one and telling him which one is which person in her family.

“This one’s you and this one’s mommy,” of course he figured that, the one with yellow hair covering one eye and another with your hair color, “And this one is me, this one is Sora!”

It makes him so happy to see the way Angel has decorated her cookies, with the four of you and even the rest of your crewmates. There’s one with a little straw hat, another with three swords, one that she tried to make a long nose on, one with orange hair, she really tried to make one holding a book, one with blue hair, and another with an afro. She did make sure to grab one of the reindeer cookies and give it a pink and blue hat, and did her best to make one look like Jinbei.

Sanji still can’t believe how lucky he is, to have you and your kids and the rest of your crewmates as his family, while he hugs Angel close and kisses her head. He tells her he’s so proud of her and she did so well, she’s very talented at decorating cookies! She makes him so grateful that his life has turned out the way it has, having you as his wife and now your children, he and Reiju are on good terms and speaking, he still can’t believe that. Everything is better than he ever could have hoped or prayed for, he’s still beyond thankful you met that day at the Baratie and changed everything for him.

He almost missed the one with pink hair that has to be Reiju, before he notices one more that confuses him.

“Who’s this last one supposed to be, Angel?”

“Oh!” she grins at him before saying, “That’s the baby sister I want!”

Sanji nearly passes out hearing that, but doesn’t bring it up to you for a few weeks more, wondering if Angel forgot about it or not. He doesn’t even want you to think about another baby until Sora is at least three, so when he does bring it up and you laugh it off, he’s not worried you’re keeping something from him.

He just prays that Angel doesn’t get upset if she gets a little brother again.

[shiny-jr]

Dear author, I’m so sorry that someone plagiarised your work especially since you work so hard on your stories 💔😞

We want to help the plagiarised book get taken down so can you please share the link?

If enough people report, the fanfiction site admins will finally listen and take down the plagiarised book, instead of the plagiarism claim being buried.

I hope this issue gets resolved quickly and I hope you have a better day.

UPDATE! Based on this and that and also this.

Thank you, anon. I appreciate your words, but as I stated in one of my previous posts, Wattpad reports are finicky. I believe at this point, we're at day thirteen of dealing with this plagiarizer and day four of it being public and yet despite it all, the plagiarizer has still yet to budge.

So, I thought I'd give another update and give the information we discovered in our findings. As to what we know is copied and from who. Keep in mind, one of these four copies stories has already been taken down and done with. I'll specify which in a moment.

Before I proceed, if you happen to be one of the original writers mentioned in this post and you want your portion removed from this post for whatever reason, let me know. I do not want to upset anyone, except the plagiarizer. At this point in time, I care little for their feelings on the matter when they've had plenty of time to make things right.

The plagiarizer: Kristynaka1

FIRST.

Obviously, the first story that was discovered was mine, with all the information linked in the posts at the very top. I was made aware of this by the inbox from a kind reader. Ever since then, I've been dealing with this plagiarizer.

My mutuals and I found it weird that somehow, the plagiarizer had relatively good grammar with few mistakes in the story. Yet every little note or message they sent, had many spelling mistakes and was sometimes difficult to read. It was inconsistent and strange, and we couldn't make sense of it until we had a theory which some readers in the comments here have already suggested. We theorize that the plagiarizer began to use AI.

Of course, we can't prove this but how else would a user who can't format and type proper messages be able to write whole paragraphs that are actually legible and understandable?

ChatGPT was available to the public sometime in 2022. Before 2022, many of their "stories" were copy and pastes from Tumblr. After 2022, there were differences in the copied stories that made it harder to find the original story and connect it to the original writer. Differences in writing that I doubt the plagiarizer wrote themselves if we go by their messages like:

So yeah. Onto the evidence.

SECOND.

After a few days, one of my mutuals began to suggest searching for the origins of other stories as they doubted any of the posts belonged to the plagiarizer. Low and behold, we found three others. The first of which belonged to @monst and their post. Just by comparing the first paragraph was enough to confirm that.

I won't go into too much detail as the links pretty much say all you need when you actually look at the evidence.

THIRD.

Not even an hour later, we found the second copied story from that oneshot book. Thankfully, there were only two stories there, so there aren't any more copied parts from that series they claim is theirs. The original is @ppsycho and their post. This one again looks like a direct copy, even the image is the same.

FOURTH.

This is the one that was already deleted, thankfully. So there is not many good screenshots I can present, except one before it was gone. So the original writer is @mint-yooxgi and their post.

Here is the only screenshot I have of the wattpad version, just to showcase that it did in fact exist, and it was copied.

So yeah, that's everything for now. If you check out the plagiarizer's profile and recognize the other stories I did not name, please let me know. We thought we found one of them on Quotev, but it wasn't.

Please continue commenting discouragements and reporting the account!

I think I'll leave this off with something I typed last night in a chat:

In whatever way this ends, know that it will end badly for the plagiarizer. They can choose to ignore, but that won't make everything go away. People will remember, I will remember. If they go radio silent and try to forget everything but keep the stories up, comments will still be there. If they try to delete the comments, new comments will just be made. The comments will serve as warnings to others that might stumble across their account, and it will immediately make them click off the account or story because no one wants to read a plagiarized story. The account we see now will just be empty of real readers, so it will remain a miserable little place where each comment will serve as a reminder as to why plagiarism is bad.

Even if they do decide to delete and make another account yet again, whether they decide to copy the same stories they did before or pick entirely new writers to prey upon, it doesn't matter. Readers will either recognize them from before or new readers will notice the plagiarism taking place. It doesn't matter what they do. They will be found and dealt with in some way, shape, or form.

I hope those two or so years of small internet fame were worth it while they lasted.

[bonbonly]

not sure which driver would fit this (maybe carlos or max?) but something about them degrading you so much to the point he buys nipple clamps that connect to a chain. so he treats you like a dog, pulling on your chain to make you move—and each time he does, your nipples harden even more, slick dripping down your pussy……… ohh my god

bon's thoughts (18+) i'm putting this in the boss!lewis x secretary!reader universe because that's all i can see right now

you've been pretty upset the whole month having to deal with lewis edging you and never letting you cum, so you plan an entire thing where you're going to get your payback. your vibrators are all broken with the amount of times you've had to cum in the middle of the night in your apartment after every day of an excruciating day at work where lewis was torturing you like crazy.

so one day during your lunch break, lewis passes by the break room to get a cup of coffee only to instead see you bouncing on another intern's dick, screaming in ecstasy as you stare at lewis the entire time saying "fuck, i'm cumming, i'm cumming!"

and he's biting the inside of his cheek, nodding his head at you. ok, if you wanted to be office slut he'd let you be the office slut. he calls you to his office later in the day, and you walk in adjusting your pencil skirt and stretching your arms, "oh it feels good to have someone's cum dripping down my thighs. so much better when i get to cum too!"

"sit your ass down before i have you fired," lewis rolls his eyes and you smirk at him. he'd never fire you, he has way too much fun with you, "take off your clothes, now."

"but it's the middle of the work day? i have work to get back to, which you gave me remember?" you scoff, and he shakes his head at your attitude,

"run that mouth of yours one more time and i'll buy a ball gag to match this..." he pauses, pulling out a box from his drawer and he holds up nipple clamps. you gasp out loud, standing up,

"nuh uh, i'm not wearing that. lewis, it's bad enough that i have to sit down on a vibrating cock every day when i work, not this...." you cross your arms, pouting at him and he stands up to walk over to where you stand,

"first of all, it's mr. hamilton, you keep forgetting that i'm your boss, not your boyfriend. second of all, this isn't a request, love," he grabs your blouse, ripping the buttons off of you before unclasping your bra and tossing it onto his chair. you struggle against his arms, mainly because it's fun to see him get more pissed at you for being disobedient and he flips you onto your stomach which causes you to moan at the feeling of the cold table pressed against your tits, "you're such a slut, honestly, who even let you into the workforce?"

he giggles under his breath, tugging your skirt and panties down before dragging you down to the ground. he rolls your nipples between his thumbs, loving the way you're gasping and squirming under his touch before reaching out and grabbing the nipple clamps and placing them on you.

"finally, god, you always make this so much harder on yourself," and he sits back down behind his desk, tugging the chain that connects the clamps towards him and you moan out loud, rubbing your thighs together for some friction, "of course you're into this. your brain's just empty at this point with the amount of times i didn't let you cum so now you're into sick shit like this to get you off, right?"

you can't even process his words because you want to feel him inside you, and every time he tugs at the clamps harder, calling you a dirty whore, you're whining about how you want him to fuck you, you want to feel his cum coating your walls. that's enough for him to toss you onto his lap, letting you straddle him. he places the chain in his mouth, biting down into the metal and occasionally jerking his head back to let the clamps pinch your nipples a little more harder than before and when he slides his aching cock inside you, you're letting out a wanton moan that echoes through the entire office. you're sure everyone can hear you. and probably can now see you because lewis at his desk presses a button to let the blinds unveil the sin he's committing. he wants the entire place to know that you're his, and only his.

"this is what you wanted? you wanted to get fucked? you wanted me to fuck your brains out until you're just another dumb whore to take my cum, yeah? you're doing all this just so you can cum, yeah you're gonna cum," his hips snap against yours in a brutal pace, and you're crying at how intense this feels. you scream out loud as his thumb rubs harsh circles on your sensitive nub, and you're cumming around his cock for the first time, feeling like you're on cloud nine. he took his words to heart though, because he's still fucking you, his grip on you tightening, "i'm going to make you cum again and again until you're begging me to stop, oh fuck, you're going to regret riding that intern love."

you don't know how many times you've cum, and you're pleading with him telling him that you can't take it anymore but he flips you onto your stomach and starts rutting into you once more. you glance out the window of the door to see the intern just staring at you with wide eyes and he walks away, his cheeks turning red.

"i thought you wanted to cum? you spent all this time whining and crying about how i never let you cum! and now that i'm letting you, you're telling me to stop? make up your mind. unless you're too fucked out that your dumb brain can't think properly, is that it sweetheart? is my cock too much for you?" he laughs in your ear, and you're wailing out loud as you cum for another time, squirting all over his desk as he smacks your ass for making such a big mess. he wraps his hand around you to tug at your clamps and you whine out loud.

he takes you home with him that night, refusing to let you take those clamps off. "we're far from done, love. don't forget that."

[shuggymaniac]

Someone pointed out to this picture saying that Shanks and Buggy already know where the “One Piece” is since they were there when the route was figured out…

Which made me wonder why did they already go after if they were there… and of course with this song stuck in my head lately…

I thought of a new story idea!!!

—-

In the day of Roger’s execution, after Buggy ran away from Shanks instead of standing still Shanks ran after Buggy and did his best to convince him why they shouldn’t go after the “One Piece” just yet, which eventually Buggy agrees because deep down he doesn’t want to be alone without Shanks.

So they have this discussion on what they should do next, during that time they find out that the marines released the wanted posters for what’s left of the Roger’s pirates and Buggy was not of one of them but Shanks was.

With a heavy heart they come to the conclusion that Buggy needs to stay hidden because if Shanks sailed into the sea his bounty would be higher than those new pirates, and also because Buggy is way better navigator than Shanks. He could redraw the map for the “One Piece” with his eyes closed if he wanted to.

After securing ways to keep in contact without fear of the marines, they go on their separate ways. They talk every few months, giving each other updates of how found new friends and crewmate for their future crew.

Shanks’s crew already knew about Buggy and Shanks still being in contact and all, and they swore to secrecy. Buggy on the other hand took a different approach. The bluenette had trust issues so he already told a hand full of his crew about him and Shanks, adding to it his plan on staying low key so the marines won’t notice them, that they have to commit pity crimes so that they would be seen as just regular small pirates.

Cabaji, Mohji and Richie know and agreed to play along, pretending that they were just some cowardice pirates who follow their captain blindly. When Alvida and Mr.3 join they don’t know anything because Buggy didn’t trust them yet and with how Mr.3 reacted when Buggy got beat up by Mihawk and Crocodile assured him that he made the right choice on not telling them.

And they continue making this acts of Buggy hating him whenever they are seen in Public so that don’t discover them.

In their private lives, Shanks and Buggy already courted one another and confessed their feelings. At some point they meet up in an unknown island just so they can hold a small wedding for them, with their most trust crew mates as witnesses.

When Shanks lost his hand Buggy rushed to him alone so he can nurse him back to health, which the red hair would never say because it would upset Buggy but it was his best days since his it was the longest time his husband stayed with him.

When Buggy met Luffy in orange island he fought Shanks and yelled at him about how his “Special boy” caused him to be stranded at sea without most of his body parts.

When Buggy told Shanks that he will borrow money from crocodile, Shanks tried to talk him out of it, because Buggy already has enough money from selling weapons in the black market in an anonymous name, and that Shanks can give him if he wants more. But Buggy disagrees convincing him that it was a good plan to make not only marines but other pirates to think that he was just a small fry pirate.

At some point Buggy and Shanks needed some high secret documents from the marines, so Buggy orchestrated an act to get captured and sent there so he can steal those documents, because getting out of “impel down” was easier than getting in.

I think I can milk this idea if I rewatch one piece again, I just need to remember Buggy and Shanks’s episodes.

[heyitslapis]

its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on

Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit

[bogkeep]

doodles from this morning

[mellotronmkll]

I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.

[icewindandboringhorror]

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[resonabilis-echo]

.

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I really miss doing art and I think at this point I've mostly recovered from being overworked with my diploma, I wish I had a desk* so I could draw without having to hold my laptop on my lap and completely busting my spine and knees and wrists

*I do have a desk that belongs to me but my brother keeps occupying it, and if I leave the room for literally more than five minutes while my laptop is on said desk, he will remove it and put his own laptop on the desk

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[the-bluestreak-cat]

I think it’s the seasonal darkness but this dental stuff feels like the last straw