#cat's random posts

[cathumanthing2]

34: *to the baritones* “The melody, like you’ve always wanted"(band)

35: “If I mess up, he hits me. If you mess up, I hit you. If he messes up, you hit him.” (band)

I've started asking my friends for these quotes

List of things my orchestra, chorus, and band teachers have said:

"I need your bows to be infused with the power of christmas and stretch out" (orchestra 1)

"i guess I'll be practicing all week instead of doing homework" "atta girl, you got your priorities straight!" (band)

"it needs to sound like 'ho ho ho' not 'ho ho those damn kids keep takin my cookies'" (orchestra 1)

"you're making it sound like the wrong sleigh! its 'sleigh ride', not" *plays the chord from psycho* (orchestra 1)

"dont drink and run, kids" (orchestra 1)

*mewing* (chorus)

"you guys are so zesty" (chorus)

"it sounds like if you took a box of ornaments and just dumped it all over the tree then threw the tinsel on and then it catches fire and your house burns down" (orchestra 1)

"thats a good mama" (chorus)

*weird voice* "i have flower" (orchestra 1)

"YES, ill let you take my job today" (orchestra 2)

"if you're gonna fart... pose" *strikes some weird pose* (band 2)

"you're supposed to do *makes petting motion* kittyyy kittyyy, pet it gently, not *fucking WHACKS the invisible kitten* animal abuse" (orchestra 1)

"yes, im evil and made this warmup to make you smack yourselves in the face" (chorus)

"i want you to burp so loud and long that even your dad is impressed" (band 2)

"i guess we're teaching sign language now" (orchestra 1)

*steals people's sheet music* "im doing you a favor" (band)

*day before long weekend* "you did so good that im giving you Monday off of school" *collective groaning noises at an overused joke* (band)

*chases oboist around the band room* (band)

"who do you think it is?" *calls on kid with hand raised* kid: "is it-" "its not [name2]" (chorus)

"i need you to pretend you're throwing up" (chorus)

"i cant believe im saying this but... percussion, can you perhaps be louder?" (band)

"I have a funny story...my dad died and when my mom got married again she didn't invite me to her wedding." (orchestra 2) (NOTE: i never had this teacher, i joined orchestra the year after she retired)

"do you know how hard it is to make frosty the snowman sound like frosty the snowman instead of frosty the big wet sad puddle?" (orchestra 1)

"We will accept bribery" (chorus)

"guys, will you PLEASE stop hitting kittens" (orchestra 1)

*at a baritone who has his arm resting on the back [name]s chair* "[name2], i dont think [name] wants to go on a date with you" random kid: "yeah, [name2] is like 'hey, wanna go to the movies and put our hands in the popcorn bucket at the same time'"

SO. thats what i have so far. this is FAR from a complete list. the band 2 is for an extra band where the teacher isnt the same one or one of the ones for band, and orchestra 1 and orchestra 2 are completely different and numbered based on when i joined. 1 is after school and not really a school orchestra, and 2 is a school orchestra.

bonus: things they say a lot

"snailed it!" "open up your vowels, sopranos" "you SLAYED" "does anyone have any hot tea?" (chorus)

"SHAPE IT" "less talking more rocking/less conversing more rehearsing" "lets go! *loud clap*" (orchestra 1)

[insert dad jokes here] (band)

[theidlespoon]

writer culture is creating a sunshine character and then making them go through so much trauma that they're unrecognisable

[arafelartist]

My beautiful cat, Flower, looking fancy and content.

[martinsorbit]

I love the headcanon of the DCA having access to the internet and also being able to connect to your phone like a Bluetooth device. Imagine being in your shift and getting a notification on your phone saying " 'v2DCA_FAZCo2023' would like to share a file," you open it and it's just some shit like this

It happens daily and they stare at you to see your reaction to the funny thing they sent.

[xyumichux]

Found this screenshot of jazz and prowl and thought it looked familiar lol 🤔

[rookflower]

[3liza]

i have another pet tip, for all pets not just dogs: take them to the vet young and/or soon after you adopt them, BEFORE something is wrong with them. either book a basic wellness appt for checks (no shots or procedures) or just ask the vet if it's ok if you drop by with the pet either on leash or in a carrier and just get as far as the waiting room or outside the clinic if they're still doing COVID airlock protocols or busy. plan for this to take several hours. let the pet approach the vet office entrance and hear/see/smell the waiting room, windows into the room, the door, all the spots around the door, etc. engage positively with them if they're feeling interested, soothe them if they're nervous, and give high value treats if possible. maybe assign a super S tier treat JUST for the vet (bacon, shrimp, stinkiest cheese, whatever). feeding them can short circuit their anxiety loops (not all the time for every animal, but as a general guideline). even a single positive exposure to the vet office environment will help next time you bring them in. a treat jackpot for every time they act brave and explore further is a great technique

vet visits aren't just more pleasant when the pet is not freaking out, they're safer for the vet and safer for the pet, not just because animals injure themselves and humans when scared, but also because it's a lot harder to examine a panicky cat or aggressive dog. if your pet is sick and you bring it to the vet and the vet needs four techs just to restrain it to take a temperature, that vet is not going to be able to get a good observation of the symptoms. they won't be able to get a baseline blood pressure or heart rate. panic alone can kill small animals like rabbits and birds.

when you meet the nurse or tech or vet at an appointment, pass them some of the special treats and ask them to feed some to the animal if the animal is willing to take them and it doesn't interfere with the appointment. vets are usually able to spare a couple seconds to do this to make the visit easier and the next visit even easier. i did this for my dog and he thinks the vets are his best friends even though he's had multiple surgeries, vaccinations, exams where he was nervous or uncomfortable, etc.

not all animals can be acclimated to the vet but most can. in an emergency it can make a huge difference whether your pet is a behavior case when you bring them in to the office or not, which is not the vet's fault but a factor of animal behavior. you can plan for it and make it easier on yourself!

edit: buying a muzzle in your dog's size and getting him used to it is an even bigger bonus tip. vets will love you for this. even good dogs sometimes need a muzzle. pain and fear do weird things to animal behavior

[something-something-peaceful]

Oh boy time for a recipe that’ll probably be thrown into the forgotten depths

Chocolate lemon cupcakes

Chocolate cupcakes

* 1 cup (130g) all-purpose flour

* 1 cup (207g) sugar

* 6 tbsp (43g) unsweetened cocoa powder

* 1 tsp baking soda

* 1/2 tsp salt

* 1 large egg

* 1/2 cup (120ml) buttermilk

* 1/2 cup (120ml) vegetable oil (I used a majority of olive oil and used about 1/4 cup vegetable oil, I didn’t specify any better because fuck you and I don’t wanna)

* 1 tsp vanilla extract

* 1cup (120ml) hot coffee

Lemon Curd:

* 4 large eggs

* 1 cup granulated sugar

* 1/2 cup lemon juice fresh squeezed, from one large lemon

* 1 Tbsp lemon zest from one large lemon

* 6 Tbsp unsalted butter cubed

Frosting

* 1 cup (240 ml) heavy cream, cold

* 2 tablespoons (16 g) powdered sugar

* 1 teaspoon (3 g) cornstarch

* 1 teaspoon (2.5 ml) vanilla extract

For the cupcakes

1. Preheat oven to 300°F (148°C) and prepare a cupcake pan with liners.


2. Add the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt to a large mixing bowl and combine. Set aside.

3. Add the egg, milk, vegetable oil and vanilla extract to another medium sized bowl and whisk together to combine.

4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until well combined.

5. Add the water to the batter and mix until well combined. The batter will be very thin.

6. Fill the cupcake liners about half way and bake for 18-23 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs. (I have a shitty oven so I added ten more minutes to the bake time after I checked if it was fully cooked, just start off with 5 minute increments, if you want to be more cautious) 


7. Remove the cupcakes from oven and allow to cool for 2 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack to finish cooling.

Lemon Curd:

* Place eggs and sugar into a small pot, whisk to combine. Add lemon juice, zest, and butter. Cook over medium-low heat whisking constantly until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon.


* Transfer to a glass bowl and lay plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Chill for 1 hours to almost set. 


Frosting

1. Chill the Bowl and Whisk: Begin by chilling your mixing bowl and whisk (or whisk attachment) in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. This helps the cream whip up faster and increases volume.

2. Combine Dry Ingredients: Mix powdered sugar and cornstarch in a small bowl. This ensures even distribution of the cornstarch in the whipped cream.

3. Whip the Cream: Pour the cold heavy cream into the chilled bowl. Using an electric mixer, start whipping the cream at a low speed, gradually increasing to medium-high as it thickens.

4. Add Sugar and Cornstarch: Once the cream starts forming soft peaks, gradually add the sugar and cornstarch mixture, continuing to whip.

5. Add Vanilla Extract: As the mixture thickens to stiff peaks, add the vanilla extract and continue to whip until well incorporated and the cream holds stiff peaks. (Probably make the frosting after the cupcakes have fully set)

Assembly

1. Remove the core of the cupcakes with a knife or a cupcake corer, you need a hole

2. Put almost solid curd in the center of the cupcakes, preferably with a piping tip.

3. Let curd set fully in the cupcakes for 1 hour more

4. Pipe on frosting, and serve

**note that this is posted on the same day is was baked, I can’t say how well the whipped cream frosting will hold up.

**a large cookie scoop helps with filling the cupcake liners. I used 2 scoops of the largest one I had

**normally you’re supposed to fluff your flour, but I was worried it would be too liquidy so I just scooped the flour from the container, like a heathen.

** I know I should half the recipe for the lemon curd, because there was a little left and it was overflowing out of the cupcakes a little, but it could be the fact the cupcake holes weren’t big enough. It wasn’t that much plus, you could mix the cake that’s left over from the removal of the middles with it, so idk.

I suppose I should put a useless story like all other blogs.

It was my possible step brother’s birthday and there was a mix up with the 2 cakes. Instead of chocolate raspberry and vanilla lemon cake, the bakery mixed up the flavors and reversed it. And me being weird I kinda liked it. So here’s a recipe that basically makes that cake. Why are these so long? Like that story was simple and easy. You could easily just say “my mom made this a lot when I was a kid.” Like I’m pretty good at writing a whole essay about something that doesn’t matter, evidence and an explanation, everything you could need. Would anyone even read this? It’s a recipe on tumblr, if I posted this on Pinterest maybe but even then most people I know don’t like citrus and chocolate. I offered some cupcakes to my grandma but I actively left out that the custard is lemon flavored, because I knew she’d make a virtual face at it. I want to show my creations but I can’t do that when no one is willing to try it. My mom was easy to convince because sugar. This is long because that’s the whole joke, for this whole piece about a simple story to be far too long when people just want the recipe. Would this bit even work? It’s all at the end, not at the beginning like every other blog does but I understand how frustrating that shit is. And like since I’m dragging it out it’ll only be more of a nuisance to the people wanting to see the recipe. Should I just half the lemon curd recipe? Do people even read the notes about the recipe? I sure don’t also. I also should’ve put proportions sizes but I don’t wanna put effort in remembering or counting. 8+6+1…. Uhhhh 15 cupcakes that I made. How likely is it that government secrets are put in these long bullshit paragraphs? I hope I get some criticism on this recipe there was a fair amount of research and rewriting. I forgot the name for cupcake liners btw, I had to ask my mom what they were called so that was a little awkward because I was making some more notes on the recipe while doing so. I wonder how I’m going to transport those cupcakes, I mean my grandma’s house isn’t that far of a walk but also it’s kinda hot and I don’t have any boxes also it’s night. Is this paragraph long enough that the joke gets hammered in? I don’t think it’s long enough but I could be wrong, I suppose I should write some more nonsense to add to the word count. Anbdndjdjelskxnjskwjsjzjksnsbsjkwksbhsjsksnsbsjkwndnzjsknwnsjsksks. Space. Ajkdndjoelndkkpl high ndkskskskndjjdksksnnsjsk. I got my cats some new toys recently, they’re touch activated and they make noises and move around. Of course I think they primarily like them because of the cat nip. I think I’m going to stop writing this, I’m getting bored and I don’t have much to say rn.………………………………………………………………………………………… I hope I don’t explode after this…………………………………….. my phone is spacing out this out weirdly, idk what that’s about…………………………………………………………………..do you think aliens are real?………………………………………are ghosts real?……………………………………………………………………. How do food bloggers end these anyways? I’ve never read the paragraphs but they have to at some point, right? ……………………………………………………………………..I think half the reason why food bloggers have such long paragraphs is because we’re encouraged to make a whole essay whenever we’re writing something. I know I am…………………………I’m probably wrong……………………. It probably forces more ads onto the screen at once………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………… I know it doesn’t matter but I wonder how the tumblr algorithm works, like do they prefer to show longer or shorter posts? Of course it could be our decreasing attention spans. I like spam, it’s not that bad, of course I’m probably a couple of sprinkles of salt away from death……………..I’m tired……………………… I think it’s time to stop typing, I think my space button is starting to die.

[zerohirrotries]

Sonic IDW comics background character appreciation post!

Seeing characters with such designs even with only a single page role is incredible. Love all the details into these forgettable characters!

[kat-in-a-trashcan]

”Its not that you can’t touch things, you just can’t feel them”

When a ghost touches something, is it like touching something with gloves on. Knowing that you are holding something while never feeling the texture or the softness. The feeling of being one layer away but never being able to make it go away.

[delulumclarenfan]

cat cafe owner!oscar piastri moodboard

[cathumanthing2]

Because I'm curious and also paranoid:

Im asking because my anxious ass started worrying about what would happen if a school shooting happened during lunch - at my school, lunch means a whole grade of kids, about 350 kids or so, are in the same room. I want to know if its normal for schools to not give kids a plan for if this happens during lunch.

Please reblog for a larger sample size

[hello-eeveev]

thanks to critrole recap shorts for furthering my "essek is cat-coded" agenda <3

[boyshutup]

this my birthday post - another loop around the sun and we stay experimenting with our art

[mistydelights]

He is here to tell you to enjoy things, but not to eat trees

[bucket-of-amethyst]

so did you pet the Jellie

Did you?

(thank u @mcyt-cats bringing this to us 🙏)