#caspian oneshot

[heliads]

Ok so I saw how you said you wanted to write for narnia in your request guidelines so, imagine if you will:

Reader and Caspian with a sort of rivals to friends to lovers. Charting the transition from "My prince" (Sarcastic) to "My prince" (playfull, joking) to eventually "MY prince" (loving). Hope this makes sense, lots of love <3

when people check the request guidelines <333 also this request was so good that i had the people vote upon it. soldier reader for the win

masterlist

You’re not sure what makes you more angry, the fact that you broke your sword or that the prince was there to see it. If it were not enough of a ruination to your day to have your blade break in half like a child’s wooden toy, if it were not enough to have to retreat through the storms of other fights and clashing metal and skulk to the background to get another, you were witnessed by the one person you detest most of all.

You should not be hating Prince Caspian. He just makes it rather easy to do so. He is the physical embodiment of this world, the crown on high, the savior of your every waking hour, all because he happened to be born into the right family at the right time. It is not his fault that he is one of the most powerful men in all of Narnia, but it is not the result of his labor, either. He is simply the prince, and there is nothing more to say on the matter.

That is quite different from you, then. You had to claw your way up through the ranks, sacrificing skin and sweat so you could eke out a win time and time again. Your trials served you well, gilding your brow with the title of captain of the guard, but it wasn’t like anything was handed to you. No, not at all. Yet, by virtue of his predestined position, Caspian technically has control over every soldier in Narnia. He outranks all of your efforts by the crown put on his head when he was just an infant.

This is the way of the world, and the way that it has always been. It makes no sense for you to hate him so fervently over something he cannot control. Caspian is an easy scapegoat, though, a figurehead for you to heap your regrets upon like laurels. It is not his fault that he was made prince. It is not his fault that you despise him for being one.

You’ve had time to grow accustomed to your life of blood and sweat, however, and today should have been no different. This morning was an amalgamation of at least a dozen different mistakes, though, and that ruined your day before it hardly even started. You woke up a little too late, you snapped at your friends then regretted it half a second later, and now you’ve gone and broken your blade, too.

It wasn’t your best weapon, at least that counts for something. Your finest sword is your most prized possession, and lies in careful hiding back in your quarters. This was merely your practice weapon, one designed to be battered and beaten all in the means of furthering the skills of you and your men.

Still, it stings to see it lying on the dusty ground of the training yard, shiny metal fragments already beginning to cloud over with grime. You sigh, signaling to your partner that you’ll have to abandon the match for now, and carefully pick up the pieces. When you stand, cradling the shards of your sword like a child, you look up and see Caspian of all people staring at you from across the training yard. Evidently he’s arrived just to see your sword fail.

Wonderful timing as always from him. You have to marvel at how he does it. You half think Caspian carefully plans his excursions into the swordsman's arenas when he believes you to be least ready to see him. You meet his gaze for a moment longer, then turn, heading back towards the rows of equipment on the far side of the yard.

You murmur at least half a dozen curses as you go, running them over your tongue like a prayer. The broken pieces of your sword can be turned into the armorer in the hopes that something will become of them, but you highly doubt that. In the meantime, you’ll have to dig up the coin to buy yourself a new sword, and risk damaging your primary weapon in the meantime. How splendid.

A voice sounds from behind you, one that makes you grit your teeth despite the soothing intonations. “You know, if you’re stabbing our own men so hard your weapon shatters, I’m afraid to see what you’ll do to our enemies.”

You grimace to yourself, then turn around to face Caspian, expression resolute. “Fear not, my prince, your men will be spared from me today. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to break swords when a battle arises.”

Caspian arches a brow, perhaps at the tone you direct towards his title. “If you speak with that much thrill over the thought of war, I’m beginning to fear that you may not be my best advisor regarding the maintenance of peace.” 

As if he’d ever listen to you long enough to consider you an advisor. The two of you snap at each other’s throats every time you get within shouting range. “Perhaps I just like a chance to fight.”

“I think I’ve noticed that,” Caspian murmurs, bemused.

It takes great strength to keep from glaring at him, strength that fails you by the second. “You’ll have to excuse me, I must go to the blacksmith for repairs.”

His face falls. “You won’t be continuing in the ring today? I had hoped to best you yet again.”

His lips quirk up as he says it, making the insult lose some of its barb, but it still makes your temper flare. “I’m afraid not. Blades are not as easily bought by soldiers as princes, I must see if I can salvage this one before going to the trouble of a purchase.”

Caspian seems half a second of self control from rolling his eyes. “There are more swords in the yard, L/N. Simply select another and we can go for a round or two.”

He gestures towards the training yard expectantly, and you feel the weight of your difference in stations come crashing down around you. Caspian will not stop asking until you fight him, that is his birthright. He does not know what it means to be disobeyed. And, as the captain of his guard, you cannot argue. This you know to be true, even if Caspian is unaware of just how he’s wielding his influence. There is nothing you can do to circumvent him.

You force your expression to go icily cold, devoid of any and all emotion. Even the anger, which was sparking through you so readily before, vanishes from your disposition. Caspian blinks in surprise at the sudden change, more so when you abruptly drop the pieces of your broken blade to the ground, where they send up a small storm of dust.

“Of course,” you say, even-syllabled, “how could I ever think to do anything else? Your word is my command, my prince.”

You pack as much loathing as possible into those syllables. Caspian flinches as if you’ve hit him, and then his confidence is gone, his eyes downcast. “If you don’t want to–” He begins in a whisper, but you’re already moving briskly towards the rows of extra blades.

“I most certainly want to,” you answer him, the borrowed blade seeming to cut into your hand despite the smooth leather grip, “you have asked, and that is all the motivation I should ever need.”

Caspian swallows hard, opens his mouth to say something, but you swing your blade at his head before he can manage it. This is utterly wrong behavior for a soldier towards a prince, but Caspian has never seemed to have a problem with your actions before, no matter how challenging. It’s as if both of your prides are so strong that they could overcome any class barrier set in your way.

Caspian barely parries your sword before it cuts into his head. Grunting with effort, he twists his weapon, forcing you to step back as he disengages, striking towards you in return. Seizing the opportunity, Caspian presses his advantage, taking a few quick steps and maneuvering the two of you further into the training yard and into the designated spaces for fighting.

Words are clearly still clinging to his tongue, begging to be spoken aloud, but this is no longer a place for conversation. It takes everything in you to counter his attacks, to spot when he’s off balance and lunge with piercing precision towards every gap in Caspian’s defense. You may hate the dark-haired prince with every fiber of your being, but you cannot deny that he is skilled. He might be the only one here capable of providing a challenge to you. You might hate him even more for that, or worse, not at all.

Caspian feints to his left, then his right. You ignore both distractions and plunge your weapon straight towards his heart. Expecting your belligerence in regards to his ploys, Caspian parries the strike and returns it with one of his own. You move to take a quick sidestep, but the ground is slick beneath your feet with mud from yesterday’s rain and you stumble. It’s the slightest of missteps, but for someone at Caspian’s level, it is enough.

He lunges forward, and you feel the shadow of the stone wall on your back before he pushes you into it. The rock is cold against your back, driving the air from your lungs. You try to force your way towards the center of the yard again, but Caspian has his sword at your throat, and any movement would lead to you cutting your own neck.

Unwilling to yield quite yet, you stay silent. You and Caspian breathe in and out, the deep gasps for air first discordant and then slowly, steadily, joining in a shared rhythm.

Caspian speaks first, you know he’s been waiting for it. “You hate me.”

You scoff. “You hate me. This is not an exclusive feeling.”

He exhales harshly, exasperated. “Stop deflecting everything onto me. We could have been friends.”

You laugh, tilting your head back to give him a better chance to slit your throat. “You are a prince. I would never have been anything but nothing to you.”

Caspian’s eyes widen. He moves away from you unsteadily, first closer than he’s ever been, then gone, halfway across the yard in what feels like just a second. You let your eyes shudder closed, exhausted from the intensity of the fight but perhaps something more as well. When you open your lids, he is gone. He had just arrived, but he is nowhere to be seen now. That could be no one’s fault but yours. He is not your friend. But. He could be so, so much more. 

Three days later, a gift arrives in your quarters. You unwrap the cloth bindings to reveal a sword nestled within the folds. You can tell at once that it has been perfectly selected for you– the heft is just right for your level of strength, the grip matches your hands exactly, and the edges are razor sharp, ideal for those slashes towards the forearms you’ve been so fond of as of late.

It comes swathed in a rich purple cloth, the sort of color you’ve only ever seen decorating Caspian’s frame as he walks with his troops or speaks to his nobles. An angrier, more bitter part of you wants to reject the gift entirely, to toss it from your room like refuse or return it back to him at once. Still, it is a fine blade, and you know that were you to just pick it up, it would feel exactly right, an extension of your arm into shining metal.

So, the sword joins the rest of your collections, and the purple linen ends up tucked away in your desk, carefully folded into a neat square of color and creases. You cannot explain why you do either, not even to yourself. 

The next time you’re called out with your regiment to guard the prince and some foreign powers on a diplomatic mission, the sword is on your belt, your hand resting on its hilt. Caspian sees and something changes in his expression; a deepening of a smile, a pleased spark in his eyes. For some reason, you cannot hate him for being proud. Not today.

He finds you later, once the crowds have dispersed and he doesn’t have to be a prince, just a man. “What a fine sword that is,” he remarks pleasantly.

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t. Don’t even.”

Caspian spreads his hands, the picture of innocence. “I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about.”

“You had better not,” you grumble.

He nods solemnly. “Of course. Just a random thought, however, it really is a nice blade. It must have been picked out by an exceedingly good swordsman. Perhaps even the best in the castle.”

You should be irritated with him for being so bothersome again. Instead, you find yourself fighting a smile. “It’s a shame, then, that the only swordsman here worth his salt is me.”

Caspian’s mouth drops comically. “That cannot be true.”

“It is,” you reply as casually as you can, “I come to you with only the best information, my prince. Only the best.”

He starts to respond, but something stops him, something that makes him smile quietly. Your stomach flips with the unsettling feeling of having missed out on a joke, but for once, you don’t entirely mind it. Instead, the two of you walk all the way back to the castle, and only when the diplomats arrive again must you be parted. It is not the worst use of your time.

Caspian finds you again two nights later. You’re on a shift guarding a section of the castle walls, which gives you an excellent view of the foreign powers riding away into the darkness. They’ve been here for days now, testing Caspian’s patience like no one else, not even you.

He joins you soon enough, exhaustedly leaning his arms up against the stone battlements. “I think I hate politics,” he murmurs into the night air.

You chuckle, the quiet sound abnormally loud in the darkness. It should make you self conscious, and it does, but not as much as it would for anyone else. The hot prick of awareness in your stomach is both doubly strong and doubly weak because you are next to Caspian; why, you cannot explain, but it is true.

“You are a prince,” you point out, “politics was always something you would have to do.”

Caspian groans. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it. That’s why I always envied you, you know. You got to carry the banner and fight the battles without any political conniving.”

You stare at him in shock. “That cannot be true. No future king could ever want to be a mere soldier.”

He laughs derisively. “As if you’ve ever been a mere soldier. Not to me,” he adds on afterthought, and you’re not sure that it was even meant for your ears, “no, not to me.”

You shake your head slowly. “But I thought you hated me. All this time, you’ve merely wanted to join me in fighting without a care?”

Caspian’s brow furrows. “Hate you? No, no. I never hated you. I never could hate you.”

He straightens up, slowly walking over to you. There is no one else on the castle wall to see you, no one below. Even still, your eyes feel like more than enough of an audience to find some reason to stop this before the pounding in your heart blocks out your ability to breathe properly.

“My prince,” you say, a warning. It doesn’t make him flinch like it used to, a blow grown familiar, worn down to the weight of a feather instead of that of a blade.

Caspian sighs, the listless air leaving him and vanishing just as quickly on the wind. “Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted this. That you’ve never thought about it.”

“I couldn’t,” you whisper, and something in you cracks in half when his face falls, “but you could.”

Caspian’s eyes dart cautiously up to you again. “Are you sure?”

Neither of you have to specify what he means for you to know. “Yes,” you breathe.

You did not anticipate this night to end with you kissing the crown prince of Narnia. That being said, you would not want to have it any other way. There may be foreign dignitaries out there plotting the end of his reign, or political turmoils present to claim most of his time, but tonight, Caspian is yours and yours alone. It makes you smile into him. It makes everything that much better.

narnia tag list: empty for now!

[padfootagain]

His Heart in Your Hands

Hi everyone! Today, we’re answering a request for my 6k event made by @jackys-stuff-blog for our dear King Caspian: “*Yikes* I need to be fast uhm... Okay, congratulations on 6k followers again, you deserve it 😊 Can I request something for king caspian with this prompt Wounded character leads to confession. Where he comes back from a journey and the reader is patches him up (she is working in the Castle) Please? Thank you 😌🥺❤️🫂 I hope it's okay like that Oh, only if you have some places for requests left”

Thank you so much for your request! I hope you like this!

Hope you all like this, tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: King Caspian x reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of blood and description of a wound, violence… our baby’s fighting!

Summary: Caspian comes back to Cair Paravel alive after a campaign against a neighbouring kingdom, but he’s still in a pretty bad shape. You’ve been worried sick about him, and even if you are but a servant, even if it’s not your place… you can’t help but look for him that night, just to make sure that he’s alright.

Word Count: 2950

Caspian’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

You knew that you shouldn’t be there, and yet, you couldn’t help your feet as they crossed the castle.

You were but a servant, after all, you ought to remain where you belonged. Which was anywhere but near the King. And yet…

… yet there you were, in front of the door of his private chamber, with some water and some clothes and bandages in your hands.

You had managed to convince your colleague to let you go in her stead; to have an excuse to offer the guards to let you pass and access the King’s private chambers. And she disapproved of your feelings towards the leader of your people, but she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand that you knew him. That you had spent long evenings with him, when you should have been cleaning and he should have been resting; talking, laughing, falling in love, one dreadful and yet irrevocable step at a time. A love that you had never confessed, knowing that he would not feel the same, knowing that this was impossible.

There had been rumours spreading while he was gone, talks of a terrible injury, the kind that could be lethal. Talks of his death, even. Of Caspian being hit by the sharp edge of a blade across the chest, of his blood staining the grass and making the cold ground fume. Of his eyes closing forever, of a last breath being drawn… And you refused to believe it. Even when people started to guess the name of the next King, you refused to give in. Something inside you knew that he was still out there, alive and breathing and that he would come home, eventually. Your friends called it delusion, denial. You preferred to call it instinct.

Still, when you had seen him, along with a large crowd gathered by the doors of Cair Paravel to welcome him back, you were worried. Everybody was. If he was smiling, Caspian was paler than you had ever seen him, his arm wrapped in a bandage, pain written all over his features despite his best efforts to hide it. Instead of the traditional banquet, the King had retired to his chambers as quickly as he could to rest, and rumours were starting again, claiming that his injury was worse than it seemed, that his life was still at stake, that a doctor was there constantly, that he had called for his advisors to decide on who would step next to the throne, just in case…

You had to make sure that none of these rumours were true, that he was fine. So, you imagined that trick with your colleague, convinced her to do it. And if she was supposed to give the bandages and the water to the guards, you had claimed that you had been told to bring them directly to the King. A royal order. No one could go against that. If Caspian failed to back up your story, you could be fired, or worse, sent in a dark cell for many years, but you didn’t care. Caspian and his injury were the only things on your mind.

You gathered your courage in a long intake of breath, and finally knocked on Caspian’s door.

His answer sounded distant, weaker than usual. Still, you obeyed the invitation, opened the door and walked in.

Caspian was lying in his bed, pillows set against the headboard so he could be half-seated. There were candles on his bedside table, and a warm fire in the hearth, and yet the room was dark, the inky sky shy of a moon and stars tonight. A half-eaten meal rested in a small tray by the bed, a book was set on the covers. And Caspian was there, buried under blankets, looking weak for the first time since you had met him.

Oh, you knew that he could be a gentle soul, you had talked about his weaknesses, he had showed you parts of his heart few had been lucky enough to glimpse at. But this was different. Somehow, over the course of the last year, ever since you had started speaking to him in private, Caspian had been a constant in your life. Once a week, you would sit together in the library, or in the gardens if the weather was gentle enough to allow it, and you would talk about yourselves, about what had happened in your lives while you were apart, about his worries, and your tasks, and he would complain about foreign dignitaries that drove him crazy, and you would laugh as you mocked some impolite lords and ladies. Every week for a year, you had been longing for these few hours spent with him, for his reassuring presence by your side, for the attentive ear he was lending to your unimportant life. And perhaps it was stupid, because again, you were but a servant, but during all these evenings you couldn’t help but believe him when he said that he cared, that he wanted to see you, that he was happy to spend time with you. It had been a regular meeting that had marked your life in such a way that you could not imagine living without it now.

And now, Caspian was lying in a bed, pale as sheets, beard a little overgrown, eyes so tired they seemed buried in their sockets, dark bags dug under his eyes. And for the first time, you thought that perhaps the rumours were true, that his life truly was endangered, that you could lose him for good…

“Y/N?”

He beamed up at you, a tiny bit of colour coming back to his cheeks for a moment, you couldn’t help but smile back.

“Your Majesty,” you bowed before walking closer, setting the water and clothes on a small table near the bed.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, but there was no resentment in his voice, more like disbelief, a tinge of awe at the sight of you.

“I came to take care of your bandages.”

“You?”

“I… I might have insisted…”

He chuckled, but quickly winced instead, hissing as his hand flew to hold his ribs. And he looked exhausted all over again.

“I apologize… broken ribs,” he explained. “Laughing is not recommended for a few more days.”

“I am sorry, I did not mean to cause you any pain. I can come back later…”

“No!”

He held out his hand, and you had no choice but to take it.

“Please, stay,” he asked, begging, and you had never seen such desperation in his eyes before. “Please…”

“Alright, I will stay.”

He pulled you closer, gently, until you would sit by his side; and he smiled at the feeling of the mattress bending slightly under your weight.

“What happened?” you asked, suddenly conscious of the quiet in the room, a silence barely disturbed by the cracking of the fire and the lulling movement of the wind.

He gave you a reassuring smile.

“I shall be healed in a few weeks, there is no need for you to worry.”

“There are rumours…”

“I am certain that they are most interesting. When is my untimely demise supposed to occur?”

He seemed relaxed despite his tiredness, and you caught yourself smiling at his joke.

“About three days ago.”

“Dear Aslan, I am back from the dead already!”

“It would seem so. You look the part, at least.”

He tried not to laugh, and you apologized as he winced.

“I have missed this.”

“My obvious disrespect toward my King?”

“You. I have missed you.”

He blinked, and you thought he needed rest, but he asked for you to stay again, just a little longer, and you couldn’t refuse.

“You did not answer. What happened?”

Caspian shrugged.

“It was a battle, I was wounded. There is nothing else to say about it.”

Slowly, you nodded, knowing that he was avoiding your question, but letting him get away with it.

“I should change your bandage. And then, I will let you rest.”

“Do I truly look so bad?” he asked with a crooked smile, but it faltered as you averted your eyes. It was your time to avoid his question.

You helped him out of his shirt, revealing the large bandage that encircled his torso and shoulder. He had another one around his arm. Both wounds were deep cut, that had been stitched by the expert hands of a doctor. Still, as you stared at the broken flesh, at the spots of blood still on his skin, at the red line crossing his chest… you realized just as lucky he was to still be breathing.

The rumours, if exaggerated, were not unfounded either…

You got to work in silence, hands shaking as you held back tears. Because you could have lost him this time, he could have never come back home, and then you would have never been able to tell him what he meant for you. That he was everything. That you loved him with a devotion you had never guessed yourself capable of. With a love you knew could never falter…

“Y/N?”

He wrapped his hand around yours, steadying your trembling fingers. You realised, then, that you were crying.

“I am fine. It is just a wound, it will heal.”

You didn’t stop him when he guided your palm to his heart, splaying your hand across his warm chest, and your heart staggered at the contact. He made you feel the organ hidden there, beating steadily, unwaveringly.

“I am fine. I am here,” he went on, tone soothing, unbelievably warm, and it made you cry even harder, breaking all of the borders to your hearts, all the walls guarding your soul.

“I was so scared,” you admitted, voice hoarse with your cries. “I am so scared…”

“There is no reason for you to worry. It will heal. I am perfectly fine. I simply need a few days of rest, and then everything will be back to normal.”

“You could have died…”

“But I did not.”

“This time. This time, you did not. What about next time?”

“Next time, I will not die either. I will come back, and you will be here to welcome me home, just as you are here now.”

He brushed your tears away with his thumb.

“Stop crying. I cannot see you in pain.”

But you didn’t calm down, and he frowned in worry.

“Y/N, what is it? What is on your mind? What has you so upset?”

Under your palm, his heart was still beating, you could feel it run across your entire body. You would have sworn your own heart was in sync with his now.

“I am sorry,” you whispered. “I cannot help it. The way… the way I feel for you. I am sorry.”

He frowned slightly at that, but there was some hope in his eyes as well.

“I think… Seeing you like this… I cannot hold it back any longer. I just… I must let it out. Even if I know that this is impossible, and that my feelings are unrequited… and perhaps you will never want to see me again but… it hurts too much to think that you could have died without knowing.”

You were bolder than you had ever believed yourself to be capable of when you reached up to touch his cheek, fingers tickled by his beard.

“I love you,” you confessed in a breath that even you could barely hear, and yet Caspian seemed to catch it loud and clear. The way his breath caught in his throat, and his heart under your palm sped up, became erratic… all these were giving him away. “I love you, Caspian. I have loved you for a long time. And… I know that I am servant, and that I will never be more than a faithful friend to you, but… I wanted to tell you, while I have the chance. Because despite being forbidden, my feelings are earnest, and that ought to mean something… If anything, it ought to be worthy of acknowledgement, at the very least…”

You were surprised to find tears in Caspian’s eyes, some that he tried to blink away, but failed to force into disappearance. Instead, he pressed your palm harder against his chest, and his heart was beating dangerously fast now. And through his gesture, he was trying to tell you something, or rather, to show you, as words were failing him now.

But you didn’t understand, and so he cleared his throat, at long last.

“I did not think that you felt this way for me.”

“I thought I was being obvious,” you replied, a painful smile on your lips. “All of my colleagues know. They have guessed. They call me a fool for it, and they are right, of course.”

“A fool?”

“You are King, and I am a servant. There is no more foolish love as this one.”

“I highly disagree. If anything… if anything, I am happy you are letting yourself yield to such foolishness.”

You frowned at his words, afraid to understand what he meant.

He looked down for a moment, looking for the right words, it seemed, and you gave him the time he needed to start speaking. Anyway, you didn’t know what to say.

“If you are opening your heart to me, then… I reckon that I should open mine as well. I… I was hoping you would come, that I would see you today. But I was worried that you would not want to see me, so I did not ask for you to come.”

You frowned at that.

“Why would I not want to see you?”

Caspian shrugged.

“I did not think that you harboured such feelings for me. I thought… I thought I was a mere friend. You have never shown any sign that there could be more…”

“You are King, there cannot be more. Despite my feelings, I am well aware that there will never be anything more between us.”

But Caspian shook his head, capturing your gaze in the blackness of his irises.

“Y/N… I am King. I am the one making the laws, I can marry whoever I want.”

He said it like it was easy. Like it would not create rumours, create tensions with other lands, like it would not infuriate the entirety of the Lords and Ladies, like the whole of Narnia would not criticize his choice. Like it merely depended on the two of you. It seemed such a foolish view of the world, naïve, too much so for such a clever man.

“The political crisis that would follow would be disastrous.”

“Why would it be? There is nothing wrong in falling in love. There is nothing wrong in marrying the woman I love either. We have never behaved in a disrespectful way, we have never crossed any line that should have remained uncrossed. There is nothing wrong with this…”

The woman I love.

His words echoed still in your ears, in your heart as well. You could not believe them… or rather, you could not believe that they were meant for you.

“Besides, there is a very easy solution to our problem.”

“Really?”

“I can dismiss you from the castle. Then you will no longer be a servant working at Cair Paravel. And then, if you want me, I can marry you.”

You stopped breathing altogether, and Caspian seemed amused by your expression. The smile that formed on his tired features was full of fondness.

“It is funny that you blame me for being blind, when you have been just as unable to see the truth as I was. I thought, too, that I was being quite obvious.”

“You cannot be meaning that.”

But he pressed your palm tighter against the skin of his chest, so you could feel even more vividly the beating of his heart against your hand, until it felt like you were touching it, like you were holding the organ itself.

He looked at you with such intensity, the entire world around you had disappeared.

“Y/N… do you not know…? Do you not know that my heart is yours? That it has always been yours? Can you not feel it?”

He gave you a gentle smile, voice barely more than a whisper and much deeper than usual, the weight of the confession making it too hard for him to breathe.

“My heart is in the palm of your hand, where it has always belonged. It has always been yours to hold in your hands.”

It was his turn to reach for your cheek, and you leaned into his touch without noticing. When he gently pulled you down, failing strengths not allowing him to lean up to meet you, you didn’t resist. Instead, you allowed him to guide you to him, until his lips and yours were but a breath away from each other.

“I love you,” he whispered, and your heart, you thought, exploded. “Can I… Can I do this? Y/N, I have been dreaming about this for so long…”

Instead of answering, of granting him permission to finally kiss you, you were the one to close the distance between your mouths, kissing him achingly, with every bit of your worry, your love, your passion, your withheld feelings poured into him through the tender gesture. And he responded with the same strength, the same unwavering desire to hold you closer, to devour you until you were one, to show you just as much he felt for you…

You kissed for a long time, forgetting about the world, the duties, the ranks and the time that passes. And in your palm, his heart was beating.

[saltwaterburns]

giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair while being 3 hours into peter pevensie edits

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

On a quiet morning, when spring and warmer weather were finally on the cusp of the Capitol, Soarynn was stumped by a question that caused her fingers to stop their memorized pattern of braiding Ceraphina's hair.

"Soarynn, how do you know when you're in love?"

Soarynn blinks once, twice, three times. She's never really thought about that before. Of course, she's thought about love, being in love, falling in love. But truly, how does one know when they're in love?

"I...I don't know darling," she admits, grabbing another blonde curl and tucking it into the braid, "I suppose you just wake up one morning and know that you're with the right person."

"Okay, but how?"

Clearly, Soarynn's answer is insufficient for the young girl who's getting to that age where everything is "so romantic." Soarynn remembers being that way when she was little, thinking it was so wonderful how every adult around her was in love. Watching adults hold hands while crossing busy streets and share warm drinks on cold nights was the ultimate tribute to being in love in her eyes.

It also didn't help that she had grown up without witnessing her own parent's love due to the unfortunate death of her mother. She's sure that Ceraphina had experienced a bit of that as well, even though she knew her mother before she passed away.

But Coriolanus and Livia were never in love.

He's admitted to that countless times since they started courting, talked about how Livia made him feel as if he were stuck in the middle of a business arrangement. It often leads Soarynn to wonder how many other couples are simply together for all the wrong reasons and if she and Coriolanus are together for the wrong ones as well.

Not that there's anything wrong with them. After that little hallway incident, he's been nothing but sweet, showering her with words of adoration, tokens of his affection, and sweet gestures that go above and beyond. He's certainly a charmer.

But sometimes she wonders about how they met, how strange it is that a nanny ended up with her employer and then she just ends up feeling strange and icky.

At least she didn't break up their marriage. That's something she constantly reminds herself of. Their marriage was broken long before she came to the Snow family.

"It's this feeling you get inside of you," Soarynn says, placing a hand over her heart, "this feeling that you simply can't live without this person and you want to do everything with them, no matter how mundane or uncomfortable. With the love of your life, everything makes sense."

Ceraphina tilts her head, "Are you in love with Daddy?"

Soarynn already knows how she feels about Coriolanus, but she doesn't always know how he feels about her.

"I care very deeply about your father," she smoothly answers, giving Ceraphina a tight-lipped smile through the mirror's reflection. Ceraphina returns it with one of her own and kicks her feet as they dangle off the vanity stool, "Is Daddy your best friend?" Soarynn raises her eyebrows, she has friends, but a best friend is something she hasn't considered.

But the more she thinks about it, the more it seems plausible. They see each other every day, they spend lots of time together, they joke and laugh with one another, he makes her happy, she feels as though she can tell him anything. They're honest with each other.

Isn't that what a best friend is?

"He is," she confirms with a more genuine smile this time, "spending time with your father makes me very happy." Ceraphina giggles and cranes her neck back so that she's looking up at Soarynn, "Good! Because I asked him last night and he said that you were his best friend!"

Soarynn's eyes widen in surprise, she's forgotten how involved the girls can get with her relationship with their father. At first, she had worried there might be jealousy. They were the only girls in his life and now there was another woman but that wasn't the case. No, the girls were elated to have Soarynn and their father together, a little too elated sometimes since they were constantly hinting at marriage.

Which sometimes worried Soarynn because she didn't want to get her own hopes up let alone the children's. Coriolanus hadn't really ever talked about getting married again and it's not like she could blame him when his last marriage had a bit of a traumatic ending.

"Well, I'm glad that we're on the same page," she says, tying up Ceraphina's hair with a ribbon, "and you look so pretty darling, this is the perfect look for the museum today." Ceraphina smiles at her reflection, admiring Soarynn's handiwork with her hair, "Thank you!"

Soarynn presses a kiss to the top of her head before Ceraphina hops off of the stool and runs out into her bedroom, leaving Soarynn alone in the bathroom with a looming question.

Does Coriolanus see her as a potential wife?

꧁ ꧂

After contemplating her relationship in the bathroom for a good five minutes, Soarynn gathered herself and her thoughts before making her way out into the girls' room and instructing them to put on their shoes so they could depart for the museum.

"I'll go get your brother's shoes on and meet you in the hallway," she tells them, waiting for nods of confirmation so she can actually trust them to do what she said. Once both girls dutifully bob their heads up and down, Soarynn slips out into the hallway and heads toward Caspian's room. But then she stops when she sees several Avoxes walking in and out of the one room that is practically off-limits.

The master bedroom. Where she sleeps almost every night.

The Avoxes appear to be carrying lots of boxes in and out of the room which puzzles Soarynn. Just this morning she woke up in the arms of her lover and he hadn't mentioned any new furniture being moved into the room. Perhaps it's something that Eudora planned out and Coriolanus simply forgot about it.

Soarynn shrugs it off and gently opens the doors to Caspian's room, finding him right where she left him, on his new bed. Caspian has slept in a crib since the day she started working for the Snows but just last week he got a brand-new bed.

A "big-boy bed."

He's been very pleased with himself and his new bed, constantly climbing in and out of it for the fun of it. Coriolanus had worried that he might try to slip out of his room in the middle of the night but Soarynn reminded him of Caspian's inability to reach the door handles and that calmed him down.

It certainly is adorable to see him so excited about his new bed and the best thing about it is that he can now fit more stuffed animals on it compared to his crib where his space was more limited.

"Lenny go museum," he says the moment he lays eyes on Soarynn. The two-year-old boy has become more and more determined to bring Lenny everywhere and Soarynn has become more and more discouraged to argue with him since it'll often end in a tantrum. And for Caspian, a tantrum is him sitting facing the wall and not talking to anyone for at least two hours.

Which is the best tantrum she's ever seen but it's still a tantrum nonetheless.

"Lenny can come to the museum darling," she reassures him, "but we've got to get your shoes on first." His eyes scan his bedroom floor and Soarynn does the same thing because she swears that she laid out his shoes earlier this morning. Unless a certain toddler moved them and can't remember where he put them.

"You wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you Cas?"

He averts his gaze, staring up at the ceiling instead and Soarynn laughs, "I'll take that as a no." That's okay, he has more shoes than he'll ever need so she just goes into the closet to find another pair. She dressed him in khaki-colored pants, a little white shirt, and a red coat to go overtop for when they're outside. Soarynn grabs a small pair of brown leather shoes, humming to herself as she undoes the tiny laces. The thing she loves about children is how cute their clothes are.

She wonders how tiny baby clothes can get.

Does Coriolanus want another baby if they get married?

She really needs to get a grip on her thoughts because this is getting out of hand. Right now, all she needs to focus on is the children.

She has to be the nanny.

꧁ ꧂

There are days when Soarynn only sees Coriolanus once. Breakfast is a promised meeting time for the entire family no matter what the day holds and Soarynn looks forward to it immensely. The girls get to talk to Coriolanus until his ears fall off and Caspian gets to be near his father which is more than enough for him. Breakfast isn't really the time for Soarynn to butt in and talk, not when she often spends the nights with Coriolanus, wrapped up in his sheets.

But today is not one of those days. Because there are days when a person keeps running into the same person over and over again, as if the universe wants them to be together. Even if Soarynn has mixed feelings about that person right now because she doesn't know if he wants to get married and have more children with her.

Which is so utterly ridiculous and she knows that but it doesn't stop her heart from beating faster and faster whenever she thinks of him. Get it together, she tells herself while carrying a sleepy Caspian on her hip, you can talk to him about it tonight. The museum had been wonderful today, a new exhibit about the ocean opened up and the girls loved every second of it. The exhibit mostly focused on different marine life and even had a real whale skeleton.

Needless to say, they were at the museum for a long time.

Caspian was already falling asleep in the car but Soarynn tried to keep him awake until they got back home so she could put him down for a proper nap. "Bed," he mumbles while nuzzling his head against her neck. Soarynn hums, brushing some of his hair out of his face, "I know sweet boy, we'll get you down for a nap."

They ran into Eudora when they got back home and she took the girls to get a snack so Soarynn could put Caspian down for a nap. Soarynn starts walking up the back staircase, her head down as she focuses on the steps when she notices a pair of black leather shoes pass by her going in the opposite direction. She immediately looks up when the scent of roses washes over her and comes face to face with a grinning Coriolanus.

Her heart might beat out of her chest, she doesn't know why she's suddenly so nervous around him, it's probably got something to do with her stupid thoughts about the future and what it holds for them.

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" He says, resting a hand on her arm. Soarynn forces a smile onto her face and nods, "Yes, yes it is. We just got back from the museum." A wave of recognition washes over his porcelain face, "Ah yes, I remember you mentioned it this morning at breakfast."

Soarynn hums but doesn't say anything else which is ironic since she's usually thrilled to run into Coriolanus in the middle of the day. He rarely ever leaves his study if he's working from home.

He furrows his eyebrows, looking her up and down in a concerned manner, "Are you feeling alright darling?"

"Mhm."

Caspian lifts his head after hearing his father's voice, "Lenny go nap."

Coriolanus gives Caspian a gentle squeeze, fixing the collar of his little coat, "Lenny isn't the only one who needs a nap." Soarynn chuckles softly, Caspian often projects his needs and wants onto Lenny, "What were you doing upstairs?" She asks, her curiosity getting the best of her. Coriolanus is a man who values routine and the only time he ever comes upstairs is if he needs to change his clothes but he appears to be wearing the same outfit he wore to breakfast this morning.

He coughs into his fist, looking down at the floor, "Just needed to grab something."

Now they're both lying.

"Alright. Well...I'll see you later then," she says softly, taking another step up. Coriolanus gives her a grunt of approval, "Yes, I was thinking we could have dinner tonight." She doesn't know if she can survive dinner with him tonight, not with her own thoughts running wild but she doesn't want to be rude or ungrateful, "That sounds wonderful," she lies.

He smiles although it doesn't reach his eyes the way a genuine smile does and leans forward to press a kiss to her cheek, "I'll see you tonight then darling."

Soarynn nods and turns to go up the rest of the stairs but she stops herself midway, unable to stop herself from asking the question that's been burning in her mind since doing Ceraphina's hair this morning, "Actually I," Coriolanus stops in his tracks, looking up at her from the first landing of steps, "Yes?"

Soarynn feels a rush of embarrassment wash over her. What a stupid thing to ask him right now, "Never mind," she says, going up the rest of the steps before he can stop her.

Soarynn scolds herself for acting so...so stupid! This morning she felt perfectly normal around Coriolanus, giddy even but now she can barely look the man in the eyes without wanting to ask him if they're ever going to get married or have children.

At least she has until tonight to get her thoughts and her act together.

Soarynn pads into Caspian's room, changing him into pajamas before tucking him into his new bed. She kisses his forehead and sings his favorite song, the meadow song, watching him drift off to sleep with Lenny in his grip. Soarynn watches him sleep for a while, enamored by the sweet boy who calls her his mother despite having no blood relation.

If Caspian considers her his mother then why should she even worry about Coriolanus wanting more children? Ceraphina, Celeste, and Caspian are more than perfect. If anything, Soarynn is selfish for wanting more children.

There, problem solved.

꧁ ꧂

"Soarynn dear, could you run this over to Coriolanus?"

Problem not solved.

Soarynn might throw up.

She just got downstairs after putting Caspian down for his nap and she was feeling much better before Eudora asked her that question. She thought she just solved her problem but just hearing his name made her feel nervous. She brushes her hair behind her ears, looking around the room to make sure that Eudora is talking to her and not someone else named Soarynn.

"Don't you want to do it?" She asks, doing her best to sound casual while stepping into the dining room. Eudora and the girls are all sitting at the table, cookies and tea in front of them although it looks like the girls are drinking apple juice from the tea cups instead of actual tea.

Eudora waves her off as if she's doing Soarynn a grand favor, "You'll be fine, just hand him this file. He asked me to go over it this morning for the upcoming Hunger Games."

Ah yes, the Hunger Games that Coriolanus has to keep running because apparently, his father created them. The night that Coriolanus told Soarynn about Lucy Gray, he also told her more about the origin of the Hunger Games and how his father and Casca Highbottom created them. It was apparently a drunk joke that was made but it turned into something much more sinister once it was written onto paper and turned in as an assignment to Dr. Gaul, one of the Head Gamemakers.

It had honestly horrified Soarynn to know that the reasoning behind twenty-four children being forced to fight to the death was due to a drunk joke but she kept those thoughts to herself. It's not like she could stop them now. Coriolanus didn't seem ecstatic about them either but as President of Panem, it was his job to see to it that they continued this pageantry.

Lucky him.

Soarynn slowly takes the file from Eudora, holding it at arm's length like it's a ticking time bomb, "I'll go give it to him," she finally says, accepting her fate. Eudora gives her a questionable look but nods, "We'll be right here dear."

"Tell Daddy we said hi," Celeste tells Soarynn who swallows and turns to walk back out of the dining room, a dark cloud looming over her once more.

She all but drags her feet down the long hallway that leads to his study, a hallway she normally skips down because it means getting to see Coriolanus. But not today.

She stops once she reaches the doors that lead to his study when she notices that they're not all the way closed. She can hear two muffled voices, male voices, one belongs to Coriolanus, and the other she can't quite place. It's terribly rude to eavesdrop but Soarynn can't help but lean in a little closer to peer inside of his study.

She can see Coriolanus sitting on the sofa by the fireplace, a glass of whiskey in his hand while he talks. She looks over at the other man and finds that it's Quintus Heavensbee, his most trusted advisor. It doesn't sound like they're talking about anything truly important, in fact, they're talking about women.

"...Perlina said it would be a nice trip but after what happened to you in Four, I just don't trust the Districts," Quintus says with a shake of his head, his back towards the doors. Coriolanus lets out a dry laugh, "I never trusted them to begin with. But after Four, the children will never go again." Soarynn agrees with him on that, the attack in District Four could've ended so badly for them. For her.

"They're leeches, filthy leeches that are desperate to get their hands on what matters most to you," Quintus tells him, "speaking of which, how are things with Soarynn?"

Her breath gets caught in her throat and she has to remind herself to breathe again while Coriolanus takes a sip of his drink, "Good, she's good, things are good. I'm taking her to dinner tonight."

Quintus nods and leans back in his chair, "I must say she looks nearly identical to Ceraphina, she could easily pass for her mother if I didn't know any better." Soarynn has to agree with that as well, she and Ceraphina share the same eye color and hair color, leading them to look like a mother-daughter duo. She certainly sees Ceraphina as her daughter, even if she shouldn't.

"Well she's more of a mother to her than Livia ever was," Coriolanus says, bitterness evident in his tone of voice, "and a better partner as well." Her heart flutters from the compliment, Soarynn has never been in a relationship before and she often wonders if she's doing enough. Coriolanus has always been one for words of praise but he could always just lie and be polite to protect her feelings.

"Could you see yourself marrying her?" Quintus asks and Soarynn nearly blacks out. It's as if the heavens above have answered her question! Now she just needs Coriolanus to answer the question and Coriolanus is the master at avoiding things he doesn't want to answer. He's an expert, in fact, diverting the topic by giving an answer completely unrelated to the question. Soarynn has called him out on it before and he's always grinned and claimed that it's a skill only the President can possess.

Coriolanus goes quiet, too quiet for her liking. Soarynn watches him think long and hard about that question, "Not tomorrow," Quintus adds, picking up on the lingering silence, "no one would blame you if you didn't want to remarry."

Coriolanus shakes his head, a determined look now on his face, "I could see myself marrying Soarynn," he answers confidently, "sooner rather than later if I'm being honest. Losing Livia taught me a valuable lesson, many lessons actually but it taught me that nothing is promised. If something were to happen to Soarynn and I missed my chance then I'd never forgive myself."

Soarynn turns around and lets out a silent scream of excitement before collecting herself and taking a few steps back as if she hasn't been listening to the conversation for the past five minutes. She raises her fist to knock on the doors and makes her presence known this time, "Coriolanus? I have something to give you from Eudora."

She listens to their conversation come to a halt and hears someone get up and shuffle towards the doors. Quintus is the one who opens them, greeting her with a kind smile, "Hello Soarynn, how are you today?" She returns his smile with one of her own, genuine this time now that she doesn't have that nagging thought in her head, "Hello Quintus, I'm absolutely wonderful."

He steps to the side so she can walk inside and she's met with a skeptical look from Coriolanus who remains seated on the sofa, "Really? Because when I saw you on the staircase you looked like you were about to be sick." Soartynn waves him off, crossing the room to hand him the file, "I'm perfectly fine," she tells him, "you shouldn't worry about me, darling." The random use of the petname brings a blush to his cheeks and Quintus chuckles, "It's the President's job to worry, isn't it Coriolanus?"

Coriolanus still seems to be in a confused daze but he quickly shakes it off, taking the file from her and adopting the more stern look she's used to seeing from him, "Yes, quite right. Thank you for bringing me the file Soarynn."

Soarynn nods and she can't help but keep going now that she doesn't have any existential dread weighing her down, "What were you two just talking about a moment ago?"

Both men answer her at the same time.

"Taxes."

"Trains."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, looking back and forth as they clear their throats in an effort to look less guilty, "Taxes and trains? What a thrilling topic." Coriolanus quickly rises to his feet, setting down his glass and the file, both long forgotten, "Yes, it's riveting stuff darling but I think I hear the children calling for you and I have much to do before tonight." He rests a hand on her back and gently guides her past Quintus towards the doors.

Soarynn innocently looks up at him from over his shoulder, "I didn't hear the children."

"You might need to get your ears checked then. I'll see you tonight," he says, kissing her temple before he gently pushes her out into the hall and shuts the doors in her face.

Soarynn crosses her arms, getting her ears checked, please.

Why can't men ever just come out and say what they mean? And they say women are complicated creatures.

꧁ ꧂

Later that day, Soarynn finds herself wondering about something else, something less important.

What is she going to wear tonight?

No matter where they go or what they do, Coriolanus and Soarynn always dress up for the occasion. Soarynn has always enjoyed dressing up for herself and no one else but now that she's in a relationship, it's an added bonus to have a grown man drooling over her.

"Would you two like to help me choose my outfit for tonight?" She asks the girls while they have an early dinner. The girls both gasp, eager to participate in the adult activity of preparing for date night. If they had their way, they'd come with Soarynn and Coriolanus but he's remained very firm that going out on dates is a two-person job.

But that doesn't stop the girls from asking to come. So Soarynn has found that them helping her get ready makes their separation much easier. And although she'd never admit it, easier for her as well.

"Yes!" Ceraphina says, bouncing in her seat, "Can we put on your makeup too?" Makeup is a bit more risky since Soarynn has found out that the girls love to use a heavy hand when applying things such as blush. "Oh, I was thinking you two might help me pick out a bag too," she adds, earning her more excited gasps. Caspian who's sitting in her lap, rests a hand on her arm, "Momma stay."

Her smile falters at his request, maybe she should stay, she and Coriolanus just went out to dinner a few nights ago. But Eudora is quick to intervene, "I thought we might watch one of your favorite films tonight children." Caspian perks up when he hears that, he loves to watch films, especially ones that feature animals. Coriolanus is pretty strict about how much television the children can watch and only permits a certain amount of time per week that they can spend in front of the large screen.

A film is a special treat.

He looks back up at Soarynn, a change of heart, "Momma go."

Soarynn and Eudora laugh at the sudden switch and Soarynn presses a kiss to his head, "Eager to get rid of me hmm?"

"Eudora, can I ask you a question?" Ceraphina asks sweetly, batting her eyelashes which causes Eudora to raise an eyebrow. Ceraphina has a habit of asking the craziest questions at the worst times, it's truly a gift. "Yes, you may dear."

"Have you ever been in love?"

Eudora lets out another laugh, a dismissive one at that, and shakes her head, "I don't believe in relationships dear, they're far too complicated for a woman of my age and status to concern myself with."

Ceraphina frowns, slouching in her seat, "You never fell in love? Ever? Not even once?"

Eudora shakes her head, sighing, "No, well...there was that one time," she mumbles the last part. Soarynn and the children lean in, eager to hear about Eudora Trinket's one love. "Who was he?" Celeste asks, "Or she?"

Eudora looks up at the ceiling dramatically, as if reliving her last moments with her lover, "We were too different," she exclaims, "I was in love with schedules, planning, telling people what to do. And he..." She looks back down at the table, grabbing her napkin and dabbing at her eyes, "He was in love with the weather."

It takes them a full ten seconds to realize who she's talking about.

"Lucky?!" Soarynn asks, unable to believe that Eudora and Lucky have ever shared a single interest let alone a conversation. The girls look as surprised as she is, even Caspian seems to be in denial. Eudora shrugs, "I like a man with a mustache, what can I say? But we were too different, we had different passions and when two people are in love, that means that they must sometimes give up their passions for one another."

She has a valid point.

Coriolanus is passionate about being President, being a leader, a beacon of stability.

But what is Soarynn passionate about?

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn pokes at her pasta, pushing it around on the plate. It's quiet in the restaurant but that's because Coriolanus bought out the entire room so they could dine privately. A man of grand gestures.

"Are you not hungry?"

She looks up from her plate, finding Coriolanus eyeing her plate of pasta, "I am," she tells him, "I just can't stop thinking about what Eudora said earlier when we were all having dinner together."

Coriolanus takes a sip of his wine before asking, "What did she say at dinner?"

Soarynn sighs, she's sure he's already aware that Eudora was in love with Lucky Flickerman at one point so she chooses to leave that part out, "She was talking about passions and now I can't stop thinking about what my passion is." She pokes at her pasta some more before setting down her fork, "My pasta is probably cold anyway," she grumbles.

Coriolanus gives her a knowing look and waves over their waiter who appears at their table within seconds, "Could you reheat this for her please?" Coriolanus asks, handing over Soarynn's plate to the eager waiter who promises to bring back an entire new plate for her.

She bites her lip, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to act ungrateful. I just can't stop thinking about it." Coriolanus reaches his hand across the table and Soarynn takes it, watching his long fingers intertwine with her shorter ones. "I'd say you're acting preoccupied, not ungrateful," he argues, squeezing her hand, "and I think it's rather obvious what your passions are darling."

She looks up at him confusedly, "It is?"

He chuckles, "Yes, it is. You're so clearly passionate about helping others. You love to lift other people up, you love to connect with those around you, making them feel at ease."

Was it that obvious?

The waiter comes back with a steaming plate of pasta and Soarynn must admit, it looks much tastier when it hasn't been sitting in front of her for ten minutes, "Thank you," she says to the man.

"Of course, Ms. Nightingale."

Soarynn catches Coriolanus staring at her empty ring finger for only a moment before he lets go of her hand, "How did you even get on the topic of passions? Are the children already diving into these deep topics at such a young age?" Soarynn softly laughs and picks up her fork again, appetite regained, "No, Ceraphina asked Eudora if she's ever been in love before."

Coriolanus leans in, already hooked, "Has she?"

Soarynn nods, wrapping several strings of pasta around her fork, "She has."

"With who?"

Soarynn takes her time bringing the pasta to her mouth, watching Coriolanus eagerly await her answer while she slowly chews and swallows, "Lucky Flickerman," she finally says once her mouth isn't full and Coriolanus is taking another sip of his wine. He almost chokes on it, covering his mouth with his own napkin while he recovers and Soarynn giggles, "We didn't believe her either," Soarynn tells him, "but apparently, she has a thing for men with mustaches."

Coriolanus laughs, a real laugh, not a practiced one that he pulls out when they're in public. A laugh that she has been given the privilege of hearing. "I don't believe it," he says, shaking his head, "Eudora has never mentioned her and Lucky before and that's not something that just slips past me." Soarynn shrugs, she's sure that quite a few things manage to slip past Coriolanus unbeknownst to him and someone's dating history certainly qualifies.

"Would it have mattered?" She asks, curious as to how Eudora was even hired in the first place. Did Eudora work for the former President? Or do Presidents hire out their own staff once they're in office?

Coriolanus gives her a confused look and she elaborates, "If you knew that she and Lucky had a former relationship would it have affected you hiring her? I know you can see everyone's files but I highly doubt that past relationships are listed."

"It wouldn't have mattered," he answers, setting down his glass of wine, "and the only information I can see about past relationships is if someone has been divorced or not." Her eyes grow bigger at the mention of divorce, something that's practically unheard of in the elite circles. Divorce is a one-way ticket to being shunned by high society. Unless there's a case of abuse or infidelity, couples stay together, happy or not.

Or your spouse can succumb to a sudden deadly illness like Livia and then you'll end up like Coriolanus.

Those thoughts bring her back to the idea of marriage and children and she just can't help herself from asking the next question, "Do you want children?"

Coriolanus freezes, the room feels much quieter now, much colder and Soarynn's worried that she's truly crossed the line this time. He clears his throat, "I would argue that I already have three perfect children," he tells her slowly. Soarynn must look crazy but she has to know if he wants children with her.

"I meant...I meant with me," she says exasperatedly, grabbing her napkin and twisting it in her hands, "if we were to get married tomorrow then would you want to have children with me?"

His face remains neutral, emotionless which means he's thinking hard about her question. Soarynn has gotten better at reading his facial expressions but he's always been so good at guarding them.

"I think it's expected for any wife to bear the children her husband gifts her," he says, scratching the back of his neck, "as for you, I would expect no less. Children are our legacy, you are your family's legacy and I am mine."

He's right, she's the last Nightingale which is a bit of a terrifying thought if she's being completely honest. She's all alone in this world, no wonder people have lots of children. "I don't mean to be so prying," she tells him, brushing her hair behind her ears nervously, "I just started thinking about it and now I can't stop."

His face softens, showing his true colors and how much he cares for her, "Darling, you could've avoided all of this if you just asked me sooner, it's not a prying thing to ask the man you're courting."

He's right. Soarynn didn't know why she was so worried when it was that easy. She nods, "I know, I just don't want to be another thing for you to worry about." Coriolanus chuckles softly, reaching back across the table and Soarynn gladly takes his hand in hers, "I worry about you regardless," he tells her, "and should we get married and have more children, I'll worry about them as well."

So he does want to marry her!

Hearing it directly instead of eavesdropping feels like a weight has been lifted off of her chest. Soarynn gives him a smile, as genuine as it gets, and squeezes his hand, "I'll hold you to that."

꧁ ꧂

꧁ Three Months Later ꧂

"And what is this for again?" Soarynn asks, looking down at an ornate vision board for an event Eudora is putting together. The older woman waves her off as if this whole thing is insignificant despite how much she's been stressing over it, "It's for after the Hunger Games dear, Corioalnus wants to throw a little party to celebrate."

Soarynn frowns, the Snows have been throwing more parties since she started working for them but this seems...odd. "Aren't we already throwing a party the day of the Reaping?"

Eudora shrugs, flipping through more pages of her binder, "The more the merrier dear, now which tablecloths do you like, the cream or the pearl?" Soarynn compares the two swatches of white fabric, nearly identical and yet too different to the trained eye. Coriolanus would simply pick the first one and move on from there but being a woman means that Soarynn actually appreciates these things.

She has a good eye for decorations and notices the smallest details.

"That's why I have you darling," he'd say whenever she'd point something out that he would've never noticed.

"This seems like a lot of white for a party celebrating the Hunger Games," she murmurs, feeling that the colors should be blood-red, not pretty white shades. "Nonsense, it's a clean slate," Eudora insists, holding up the swatches to the light, "white represents becoming new. We'll have a new Victor on our hands won't we?"

"I suppose," Soarynn replies, pointing at the cream-colored swatch, "and I like the cream one the best."

"I was thinking the same thing."

Both women smile at each other, Soarynn has found a good friend in Eudora Trinket, as well as some sort of a mother figure as well. Eudora is a beacon of reassurance, as long as she's around, they can't mess anything up.

Celeste comes running into the sitting room a second later, entirely out of breath and in a rush as she slowly comes to a stop. Soarynn and Eudora give her a glance before turning back to their work, looking at different centerpieces now that the tablecloths have been selected. Celeste tugs on Soarynn's dress and she looks down at the child, "Yes sweetheart?"

"The painting is gone," Celeste says, her blue eyes filled with vigor and conviction.

Soarynn frowns, glancing at Eudora who looks as lost as she is, "The painting?" She repeats, hoping for some clarification. Celeste nods, swaying back and forth on her heels, "Mhm, it's gone."

Without any further explanation, she runs back out of the room, leaving Soarynn and Eudora very confused as to what all of that was about. "Children are always so vague," Eudora says, clearly not as bothered by Celeste's strange behavior as Soarynn is, "Yes, yes they are," Soarynn agrees.

Forty-five minutes later, a party has been planned and a color scheme decided on. Soarynn and Eudora go their separate ways, Soarynn to the front of the house to get the children from Ceraphina's piano lesson, and Eudora to the kitchen to prepare the kitchen staff for the upcoming parties and their menus.

As Soarynn walks through the great hall, she notices something out of the corner of her eye.

Something missing.

The painting.

It's pretty fucking hard to miss too. What used to be a giant painting of the entire Snow family is now gone, with only a bare wall to show that there was once a large object taking up its space. Soarynn stops dead in her tracks, looking around to see if perhaps it was taken down for cleaning purposes but she finds no trace of it anywhere. It's pretty much impossible to hide something of that size but she's hoping it might be hiding under a rug or a table.

It was a beautiful painting in Soarynn's opinion. The children were much younger than they are now, and Livia was well and alive. But now it's gone. And it's left a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Why would Coriolanus have it removed?

Soarynn shakes her head in an effort to shake away those thoughts, she can no longer hear the incorrect piano keys being played so that means Ceraphina's lesson has come to a close. She'll have to ask Coriolanus about it later.

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn drags her fingers along the bathwater's surface, popping a few bubbles in the process.

Bathtime is often when she hits a mental wall, she's tired and ready for the day to end even if the children insist that they can easily stay up for another six hours.

She watches Celeste play with her designated "bath time mermaids" which are really just dolls that she plays with in the tub, and a soft smile graces her lips. She loves this little girl so much.

"The painting is gone," she says, catching Celeste off guard but she quickly recovers and her eyes are as wide as they've ever been, "you were right."

Celeste quickly nods, grabbing the edge of the tub, "You saw it?" She asks, her voice barely a whisper even though it's just the two of them in the bathroom right now. Soarynn hums, reaching out to brush her curls off of her forehead, "I did. Although I don't know why it was removed." She can only imagine why, nothing was wrong with the painting and how the hallway just looks empty without it.

Celeste smiles, nearly bouncing out of the tub which causes some water to splash onto the floor, "It means something's gonna happen Soarynn!"

Soarynn does not share Celeste's enthusiasm, "Like what?"

Celeste shrugs, settling back down in the tub, "I don't know," she admits, still grinning ear to ear, "but it's gotta mean something right?"

Soarnyn purses her lips while she thinks about the possibilities and a very specific one crosses her mind but she doesn't dare speak it into existence.

"I suppose it does," is all she replies with, grabbing the shampoo, "now let's wash your hair darling."

꧁ ꧂

After putting all three children to bed, Soarynn finds herself strolling the halls of the President's Mansion. She knows the place like the back of her hand now that she lives here although the children always know the best places to hide when they play hide-and-seek. She passes the massive doors that lead to the ballroom and sees several Avoxes mopping and floors, preparing for the parties they'll be hosting for the upcoming Hunger Games.

She's almost been here for a year and yet it feels like ten.

Soarynn sighs, she ought to take a walk outside since Coriolanus won't be getting home until late since he's at dinner. She'll go upstairs and get her coat.

She quietly climbs up the stairs and comes across Petunia lying in the middle of the hallway, her tail flicking back and forth while she watches Soarynn approach her, "Hello Petunia," she greets the feline who purrs in response and rolls onto her back. Soarynn chuckles, crouching down to rub her soft belly, "Have any more paintings gone missing or am I slowly losing it?" She asks, more to herself than to the cat.

Coriolanus had that painting removed on purpose. To send a message.

But what message is he trying to convey?

Soarynn stands back up, Petunia following her to the bedroom that is now as good as hers ever since Coriolanus had her move in with him. On the same day that Soarynn was spiraling about having children with Coriolanus, she had witnessed several boxes being moved in and out of his bedroom. She hadn't really paid it any mind since her mind was very preoccupied at the moment but after they returned home from dinner that night, she discovered that he had removed all of Livia's clothing and brought in Soarynn's.

It had rendered her speechless. She was more than used to going to her room whenever she was in need of clothes so to have him remove his late wife's clothing without her even mentioning it left her feeling slightly perturbed. Sure it was a sign of moving forward from her death but it was still quite a shock.

Now she fully lived in his room. She got dressed in his room, showered in his room, and slept in his room. Things were very official.

But she would be lying if she said that having a 'his and hers' closet didn't make her a little bit giddy. His side was filled with expensive tailored suits whereas her side was filled with dresses, skirts, blouses, pants, and lots of shoes. Coriolanus often liked to surprise her with a new handbag or pair of shoes. He'd leave it on the large table they had in the middle of the walk-in closet, next to the vase of fresh roses that always sat in the center.

But as she walks into the bedroom, she feels as if the pieces are slowly falling together.

The closet, the painting, the all-white color scheme for this Hunger Games party suddenly popping up on the schedule, the schedule that Eudora briefed her on at the beginning of June that she swore would not change.

Coriolanus is going to propose to her.

Soarynn feels as if the floor has been pulled out from under her.

She needs to get out, go for a walk, clear her head.

She hurries into the closet and snatches the first coat she sees and throws it on, striding out into the bedroom once again, feeling hot and flushed. Petunia meows for her attention but Soarynn's mind is so, so far away from here right now. "I'll be back soon," she mutters, pulling open the doors and slipping into the hallway. She makes her way downstairs and towards the sitting room that Eudora frequents the most. Sure enough, she's sitting at the coffee table with several folders spread out in front of her.

Soarynn clears her throat, causing Eudora to jump, "Oh! Soarynn, I thought you'd be in bed by now." Soarynn shook her head, she couldn't sleep right now if she tried. "I um, I need to run a quick errand," she tells Eudora, her voice low and hushed even though they're the only ones in the room right now, "I'll be back soon."

Eudora looks at her current attire and Soarynn can see a few questions popping up in her head right now but she asks none, "Alright dear, I'll listen out for the children." Soarynn forces a polite smile onto her lips, "Thank you, I shouldn't be too long."

Soarynn goes to the side entrance of the house where a car with a driver is always waiting, "The Capitol Cemetary please," she says to the driver as she slips into the car.

The drive is short but her mind is buzzing the entire time.

When will he propose? Do the children know?

Eudora certainly does if she's planning the damn thing. Or at least some sort of party to celebrate their engagement.

She wonders what Coriolanus is doing right now, if he's thinking of her the way she's thinking of him. She thinks of him constantly now that they're officially together but she often wonders if he does the same thing. He says he does, and he also says that the dinners he attends are very boring, filled with old men who have great influence in Panem. He says he'll introduce her to them at the Reaping party.

She can't wait.

The car slowly rolls up to the gates of the cemetery and she begins to worry when she sees that they're closed. Which is perfectly understandable considering the time of day. Ten o'clock at night.

A Peacekeeper standing by the gates approaches the car and Soaeynn can only hear a muffled conversation between him and her driver. The Peacekeeper walks to her window, peering through the tinted glass and Soarynn rolls it down, flashing him her prettiest smile, "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience," she says sweetly, "it'll only be a moment." The Peacekeeper, a man who looks to be about the same age as her swallows down a lump in his throat, "Of course ma'am."

That's all it takes for her to gain entry.

The driver rolls the partition down, looking at her through the rearview mirror, "Where to Ms. Nightingale?"

She supposes it would look less suspicious if she went to her own parent's graves, "The West Side please." It's a short drive to that side of the Cemetery and Soarynn can feel her heart pounding. If this is all going to happen, then she has to make peace with her conscious, and those who came before her.

The driver opens the door, offering her a gloved hand as she steps out, "Thank you," she says to the man, "I won't be long."

He eyes her warily, "I could accompany you if you'd like Ms. Nightingale." That just won't do. She knows he means well but Soarynn has a plan and she's sticking to it. "No need to worry about me," she assures him, "I'll be back soon." The driver doesn't look too convinced but he doesn't push it and gets back into the car. Soarynn disappears down the tree-lined path toward the other side of the Cemetery, walking past her parent's graves at a swift pace.

She'll pay them a visit later.

She finally sets her sights on what she came here for.

Livia Snow's grave.

It's just her luck that the groundskeeper is walking out of the mausoleum. Coriolanus told her that he had people clean it every week to keep it in perfect condition. Although they never truly loved each other, Livia was the mother of his children, and he'd be a fool to disrespect the dead.

Soarynn quietly approaches the large stone building, watching the groundskeeper sweep the pathway leading up to the doors that she's never entered. He perks up when he notices her, wrapped in her coat, probably a manic look in her eyes as well. "Good...good evening Ms. Nightingale," the older man says, bowing his head. Ever since she started courting Coriolanus, Soarynn's name has become well-known in the Capitol.

She's reached celebrity status and she doesn't always know how to feel about it. But tonight, she'll use it to her advantage.

"Good evening," she replies, "I don't mean to be a bother, but I was hoping to maybe have a moment alone," she nods towards the mausoleum and his eyes follow her gaze. "Oh, oh I see. The Snows are quite particular about who's allowed inside ma'am," he tells her, "only immediate family is allowed."

Soarynn wants to tell him that the entire reason she's here in the first place is because she's about to become immediate family but she withholds that information, "I understand, I'll let Coriolanus know that I wasn't allowed inside," she says with a feigned disappointed sigh. The man quickly perks up at the mention of the President, "Well you might as well go in," he says, digging into his pockets and pulling out a ring of keys, "I wouldn't want to let President Snow down."

Neither would I, she thinks to herself while he unlocks the doors that open with a heavy groan. She slowly steps inside, it's quite dark except for the small lantern above her. Soarynn sets her eyes on the casket at the very back of the building, made of dark wood with roses engraved into it. Her breaths grow shaky as she walks further inside, looking around at all the things that have been left inside as tribute.

There's a vase of roses, and she also sees several cards with children's handwriting and even a stuffed bear sitting against the steps leading up to Livia's casket. Soarynn stops when her heels touch the first step and she crouches down to pick up one of the cards. From what she can tell, it's Ceraphina's handwriting. There's a drawing on the front of the card of the entire family, it's so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. Soarynn opens the card and her eyes immediately fill with tears.

'I miss you Mommy'

Soarynn carefully sets the card back down and makes her way up the three marble steps, resting her hand on the smooth wooden top of the casket. If she were to push it off, she'd come face-to-face with Livia Snow. Windows let in the pale moonlight and Soarynn notices a framed photograph on the windowsill directly in front of the casket, a photograph of Livia and Coriolanus on their wedding day. Neither of them is smiling but it reminds Soarynn why she came here in the first place.

"I came here...I came here to talk to you," she says quietly, "I've been taking care of your children for quite some time now and there's not a day that goes by where they don't think of you."

Soarynn tries to blink away the tears but it's no use and they spill down her cheeks, "I love Coriolanus, I love him very much and I think he's going to ask me to marry him but I couldn't in good consciousness accept his proposal without coming to you first and telling you that I'll take care of your children. I'll love them like my own and protect them with my every being. And I'll...I'll make a good man out of him, out of Coriolanus. He's trying to be better, I can see it in the way he treats those around him, how he is with the children."

Is Livia Snow scowling down at her? Does she think of Soarynn as some lovesick fool? Or does she want Coriolanus to be happy again?

"I'll make him happy," she whispers, "and make sure that your children remain happy. No harm will befall them as long as I'm around, I promise."

Soarynn stands there for a few more minutes, sniffling while feeling sorry for herself. She highly doubts that Livia ever cried about an upcoming proposal but she lived such a different life than Soarynn, she married an entirely different man.

Soarynn finally gathers herself, wiping her tears and regaining her composure. "We will always keep you in our memories," she whispers before turning to walk down the steps.

Her heels echo on the marble floors and she feels a wave of relief wash over her when she steps out into the summer night. The groundskeeper gives her a curious look, "All is well Ms. Nightingale?"

Soarynn nods, already feeling much better now that she did what needed to be done, "All is well. Thank you for letting me visit."

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn stops at her parent's graves before leaving. Even in death, they're still together, and that brings her comfort knowing that not even death can keep love apart.

"It's been a while," she says, dusting off any leaves from the tops of their tombstones, "but so much has happened. I met someone, he makes me happy. He has three children, they're as sweet as can be. I think I'm going to marry him."

Saying those words out loud makes it feel very real all of a sudden.

After her father died, Soarynn learned that acceptance was the hardest part of grief. Accepting that nothing could be done differently was a hard thing to do, but it was all one could do.

"When I come back I'll bring my children," she tells her parents, kissing the tips of her fingers and touching both of their tombstones.

She means it too. She'll be back.

꧁ ꧂

The President's Mansion is silent when Soarynn returns.

Another car was already parked at the side entrance which means Coriolanus is already home. Soarynn makes her way upstairs, peeking into the children's bedrooms once more to make sure they're asleep. Caspian is curled up in his bed, Lenny wrapped in a tight grip as if he might try to slip away. The girls are both sound asleep under the canopy bed, their new nightlight shining stars onto the ceiling for them while they dream sweet dreams.

Soarynn quietly closes the doors with a soft smile on her face, a day will come when they don't sleep in the same room anymore or require bedtime stories and she's not sure that she's ready for that day yet.

When Soarynn walks into her own bedroom she finds Petunia sitting at the foot of the bed, a black sock in her mouth which means she stole it from Coriolanus. He hadn't been exactly thrilled when Petunia started sleeping in their room but Soarynn argued that if the cat couldn't stay, then neither could she.

The two had since grown a small rivalry between each other. Petunia would steal his socks and neckties and Coriolanus would steal Soarynn and her attention that was usually given to Petunia.

Heaven forbid they get a dog.

Soarynn chuckles softly as she approaches Petunia and gently reaches out to pull the sock from her mouth, “You have more toys than you know what to do with and yet you insist on taking Coryo’s socks,” Soarynn says with a shake of her head.

Petunia doesn’t seem bothered by this issue that has constantly been brought up since she was moved to this bedroom but she does let go of the sock which is progress. Sometimes it’s a bit of a battle to get her to release the socks and it often ends in both parties feeling very offended.

Soarynn doesn’t hear the shower running which means Coriolanus is probably finishing up, ready for bed which sounds wonderful right now. All she wants to do is curl up in bed with the man she's been falling in love with over the past few months.

What could be better than that?

She expects to find him hunched over the sink when she walks into the bathroom, brushing his teeth or washing his face. Although Coriolanus is as masculine as they come, he's quite rigorous with his nightly routines, ensuring that his skin is properly taken care of.

But the bathroom is empty.

The closet doors are open and Soarynn slowly approaches them, slightly stunned to find Coriolanus sitting on the bench they have in the closet right in front of the of the table. It's usually used for Soarynn to sit on when she puts her shoes on in the morning but today it's being used by Coriolanus who's holding a single white rose in his hand. Soarynn glances at the table and finds a whole bouquet sitting there for her accompanied by a card.

She didn't even notice the gift when she came to get her coat.

Coriolanus has already shed his outer layers, leaving him in a white button-up shirt and black pants which he manages to look like peak fashion. He finally looks up at her and Soarynn feels caught even though she's done nothing wrong. He looks tired, he looks like he expected her to be waiting for him when he got back and she usually is.

But not tonight. The roles have been reversed.

"Hi," she says softly, "how was dinner?"

From what Coriolanus has told her, the dinners he attends are often business-related and very boring. She still asks about them even though he rarely goes into detail about what was discussed. He gives her a look, a condescending, sharp look as if she's greatly disappointed him, "Dinner was good," he answers curtly, twisting the rose in between his fingers, "I kept thinking about coming home to you, so imagine my surprise when Eudora said that you stepped out."

Soarynn feels frozen, she feels caught, like she's done something wrong even though she hasn't. If only he knew what it's been like to live in her mind the past few hours.

"I just had to go do something," she starts but he holds his hand up, stopping her, silencing her, "You just had to go do something at ten o'clock at night?" He stands up slowly, letting the rose fall onto the floor and he takes a step towards her, Soarynn has always admired how big Coriolanus is but right now he's damn near frightening. He looms over her and looks down at her, his jaw tightening and his muscles tense, "Tell me Soarynn, do you take me for a fool?"

Soarynn is speechless. He hasn't even heard her out and he's already acting accusatory, "I don't take you for much of anything right now," she answers truthfully and it does nothing but upset him further but they can both be upset together as far as she's concerned.

"I don't speak about Livia often but she'd nev-"

Soarynn is turning on her heel before he can even finish that sentence before he can finish comparing her to his dead wife, "Well I'm not Livia," she calls back from the bathroom, "and I'm not running around behind your back being unfaithful either even though you certainly seem to have made up your mind already as to what I was doing before I got back." She watches him emerge from the closet through the mirror's reflection, he looks upset that she left him and more upset that he came home and she wasn't here to greet him.

But Soarynn is more than upset. She's pissed.

She finally turns back around to face him, some fire has been lit inside of her since visiting Livia's grave and it's about time she set some rules around here if she's going to marry this man who drives her mad. "And I will not tolerate you walking all over me," she tells him matter-of-factly, taking slow steps towards him, "I will not allow you to accuse me of being unfaithful when I have been nothing of the sort. Or do you want to revisit the last time you accused me of such things?" She asks, tilting her head up at him while they both remember how he fired her without so much as hearing her out after Festus came onto her.

A painful memory for both of them but for very different reasons.

Coriolanus is on the losing side of this battle and he's slowly realizing it but he's stubborn and arrogant at times so he won't just back down. He's not built like that, wasn't raised like that.

"Then where were you?" He asks, his hand coming up to grip her jaw, forcing her to maintain eye contact with him. Soarynn gives him a defiant look, "I was paying my respects," she tells him, "at the Cemetery." A confused look washes over his face, she's sure that he imagined the worst, her tangled up in bed with another man. Not running around the Cemetery in the middle of the night.

"The Cemetery," he repeats but this time there's no bitterness in his tone, no venom or malice. Just confusion. Soarynn nods to the best of her ability with him holding her face in his large hand, "It was long overdue and I needed to make peace with some things before I..." Her voice trails off because she can't tell him that she knows, that she's put the pieces together, "Before I fully committed myself to you," she finishes.

There, that wasn't so hard.

Coriolanus still looks confused, vexed by her wording and Soarynn places a hand on his chest, "You can ask my driver if you want," she says slowly, "he'll tell you the same thing I did."

That jolts Coriolanus out of his confusion and he clears his throat, quickly shaking his head and releasing her jaw, "I believe you," he tells her, "and you're right, you're nothing like Livia and I would do well to remember that."

Soarynn hums in agreement, she knows it'll take him some time to unlearn old habits but she's more than willing to be a patient teacher, "Yes you would. I much prefer us when we don't argue." Coriolanus lets out a breathy laugh, carding his fingers through his messy curls, unruly after a long day of work, "I do as well," he admits, "I was just, I expected you to be here when I got back so when you weren't I..."

"You thought the worst," Soarynn finishes for him, slipping her hand into his, intertwining their fingers, "and I understand why you would start to worry but in the future, talk to me before accusing me alright?"

A remorseful look grows across his handsome features, he looks so very sorry for how he just treated her, "I will, and I'm sorry," he tells her, bringing their intertwined hands up to his mouth so he can kiss the back of her hand, "I trust you Soarynn. I don't want you to think that I don't."

Soarynn could always chew him out just a little longer, just for the fun of it but she's not a masochist. And she doesn't enjoy seeing others at their lowest. "I trust you too," she says, pushing herself to her toes to press a kiss to his cheek which feels a bit rough, "and I think you need to shave."

They both laugh at her comment, Coriolanus always shaves his face at night and Soarynn appreciates a clean-shaven face compared to a rough one. The girls do as well, whenever they give Coriolanus a kiss on the cheek they make sure to let him know if he needs to grab a fresh razor blade.

"Then why don't you help me," he offers, pulling them towards the counter.

Soarynn can't hide her look of surprise, she's seen him shave before but she's never helped him do it, only watched while she did her own thing. "Are you sure?" She asks while he pulls open one of the drawers on his side of the counter, she wouldn't want to accidentally cut his handsome face.

"Of course," he says, brandishing a razor along with a bottle of what must be shaving cream, "I trust you."

Soarynn's not sure that she trusts herself with a job like this but she still shrugs off her coat and slips out of her heels, leaving her in the dress she wore today.

She leans against the counter, admiring their shared bathroom space. Before she moved in with him, this bathroom was sparse. The countertops had nothing on them aside from a bottle of cologne or a box of tissues. Now that Soarynn lives here, there are lots of feminine products for her face and hair. She has a small makeup organizer that sits on top of the counter, it has roses painted on the side of it and it holds her favorite makeup products. There's also a photo of Soarynn with the children from one of their many visits to the museum.

She likes to look at it while she does her hair. The bathroom is huge to put it plainly and Soarynn has more than enough to fill it up. There's also a built-in vanity by the shower where she often does her makeup if she doesn't feel like standing at the counter. A small vase of roses sits on the vanity counter, always fresh from Coriolanus who insists that she's as pretty as a rose.

"If I nick you then you'll only have yourself to blame," she tells him as he comes over to her side of the counter with his tools in hand. Coriolanus shrugs, "That's a risk I'm willing to take if it means you'll kiss me on the cheek more often, now hop onto the counter darling."

Soarynn eyes the counter warily, she's never sat on it before and she doesn't doubt its ability to hold her up but she does doubt her ability to keep her dress from getting shaving cream on it. "Let me take my dress off first," she murmurs, reaching behind her to pull down the zipper. She slips out of her dress without even thinking about how sensual it might look to Coriolanus who is a man who often thinks with what's between his legs rather than his head.

In only her bralette and underwear, Soarynn hops onto the counter, her legs dangling off the edge, "Where do I start?" She asks, ignoring Coriolanus and his slacked jaw while he shamelessly eyes her almost naked body, "I don't think you're finished," he teases, going to pull the strap to her bralette off of her shoulder but Soarynn slaps his hand away, "Behave yourself," she chides, "and hand me the razor."

Coriolanus does as he's told but begins unbuttoning his shirt, baring his chest to her which does unspeakable things to the mind that Soarynn desperately tries to keep pure. He smirks at how he's affected her by simply taking off his shirt and leans down to press a kiss to her lips, "Now we're even," he murmurs while kissing her. Soarynn sighs into the kiss, shaving long forgotten once his hands wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Even on the counter she's still shorter than him but she doesn't mind, especially when his hands slide down to her ass, making her whimper, "We need to focus," she says between kisses.

Coriolanus groans when her own hands come to rest on his belt, tugging at the buckle, "Focus on what?" Soarynn giggles into the kiss, over the past few months they've gotten to know every inch of each other, including their most intimate areas. Coriolanus is a man who gets off on watching his partner being pleasured which is great for Soarynn who loves when he goes down on her. He'll often wake her up by slipping under the covers and prying her legs open, pleasuring her until she cums.

"On shaving," she reminds him, finally getting his belt unbuckled and tossing it onto the floor. When it comes to shaving, both of them run a tight ship. Soarynn has always preferred to be as hairless as possible but she was pleasantly surprised when she found that Coriolanus felt the same way about himself. There was just something about a man who wasn't afraid to shave.

Her hand slips under the waistband of his pants and her fingers graze over the growing boner straining in his boxers, feeling his shudder against his touch, "You know," she says, "it's a shame that we're so traditional, waiting for marriage and all that." She palms him with her hand and he gasps into the kiss, "Yes," he grits out, "it's a real shame."

Soarynn would be lying if she said that she hadn't thought about it before, thought about Coriolanus fully taking her and making her his. But all good things come to those who wait. And Soarynn can be very patient.

꧁ ꧂

It amazes Soarynn how two people can go from being super sexual to tenderly intimate within a matter of minutes.

With the warm shower water running over her skin, she feels perfectly content with his large hands on her hips, his lips gently kissing up and down her neck while they shower off their sexual encounter from minutes before. She lets out a content sigh when his hand lays flat against her stomach and imagines what it would be like to carry a child for him, to have a baby bump and feel their child kicking against his hand.

"What're you thinking about?"

Soarynn opens her eyes, remembering where she is and who she's with, a man who is not yet her husband. "The future," she says, not entirely a lie. She's been thinking about the future a lot lately, what it holds for her, for the family that might be hers someday.

Coriolanus kisses the back of her shoulder before gently spinning her around so that the warm water runs down her back now, "The future hmm? What about the future?" Her breath catches in her throat, it makes her nervous to speak it out loud because then it might not come true.

"I just feel as though something wonderful might happen," she says, lifting her feet off the ground when he wraps his arms around her waist, spinning them around because he knows how much she loves it. His eyes twinkle with amusement and adoration, "Would it be so bad if something wonderful did happen?"

Soarynn wonders if Coriolanus can feel how fast her heart is beating from his question. They're literally chest to chest tight now, nothing between them, "No," she answers softly, "I'd like it very much for something wonderful to happen to us."

He smiles at her use of the word 'us' something she's been doing more often whether she realizes it or not. It's hard not to when she already sees them as an inseparable pair, especially with the children being so on board with their relationship.

"Me too."

She bites her bottom lip, debating on whether or not she should utter those three words that she's never said before in this context.

But after today, after their honesty and her visit to the Cemetery, she feels brave enough to say it.

"I love you."

Coriolanus goes through a range of emotions in about five seconds. From surprise to bewilderment to realization and back to adoration all within the blink of an eye. She wonders if she said it too soon, if she should quickly add that she was joking, just testing the waters.

One of his hands comes up to gently hold her face, holding her as if she's made of priceless glass, so fragile and easy to break. She used to be like that, but not anymore. She's stronger now, better, more determined.

"I love you too."

Soarynn breaks into the biggest smile she's ever worn. She's never felt this way about someone before and she doesn't think Coriolanus has either. They're still learning, still growing as people, as individuals. But she's happy to grow with him, safely by his side, loved and cherished.

Soarynn knows a lot of things but she knows one thing for absolute certain.

She's going to marry this man.

| Part 11. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

{ Part 12. }

꧁|taglist:

@lovelylove268 @strawberriicakes @kickmybark @villiansarehottest @wonderlandbound111 @melodyoflovee @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead

|꧂

[imagineanime2022]

The Variable

Caspian Keyes X GN!Reader

Word Count: 2240

Requested: Anon

Request: literally anything involving caspian idc ill read anything i just need SOMETHING WITH HIM

Warning: neglectful non existent parents, spoilers for pantheon so please watch the show if you plan to before reading this!!

A/N: I can definitely write a part 2 continuing through the series, it was just getting supper long, I got carried away.

Logorhythms had not expected you to be a problem, when you were young they expected you to grow apart having you in a part of his childhood that he was unlikely to remember would be fine but even as you started to get older you never seemed to grow apart. They had tried paying off your parents but that resulted in them running off with the money and leaving you to fend for yourself. They had then thought that it would be the perfect opportunity to have you moved halfway across the country to be placed in foster care but even they didn’t have the power for that without telling the government what they were doing.

You were placed in a care home until the age of 16 where you placed in a apartment with an assisted living allowance, during that time it only seemed to make the friendship stronger, you weren’t afraid of his Dad who on many occasion and tried to scare you away, you never headed his mother’s warnings to leave while you could, for whatever reason you stuck around. You quickly became a problem for them. Stephen never had a friend that he could fall back on. You were ruining everything but there was nothing they could do short of killing you that would get you to leave.

They had decided given your ages that there was one more thing that they could try to get you out of the picture and it came with the hire of a girlfriend, Hannah. That had always been part of the plan but now there was a bonus if she could get you both to have a fight or push you away in some way.

The day that Hannah joined the school was when you started to see that things were changing, you had been leaning against the lockers next to Caspians as he grabbed everything that he needed for the next lesson, you watched as the new girl was shown around the school. “Oh hi.” She waved eyes not moving from Caspian. “Oh no.” Nicole said as she looked between the two of you. “That’s Casper the unfriendly goth and his guard dog.” “Caspian.” He introduced himself with the correct name. “Oh like Narnia.” She joked and he nodded. You didn’t listen to what was actually said from there on, you watched her frowning, you wanted to believe that she was genuinely interested in him but your brain immediately asked why someone like her was interested in someone like him having just walked into the school. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he nudged you to start moving. “Oh, Hannah!” She called as she turned back to Nicole. “Like Montana.” He mumbled more to himself. “She seemed cool.” Caspian said as he looked back at her and you raised an eyebrow. “Cool? Is that the new word for pretty?” You asked. “Stop.” He narrowed his eyes at you while nestling his skateboard under his arm as you turned towards the next class. “Alright but ‘like Montana’ really?” You asked. “Shut up.” He couldn’t stop the smile pulling across his face as he pushed you towards the door for the next class.

The next day everything seemed to be normal, you walked into school and met Caspian at the gates. “You won’t believe what I found on that conspiracy site.” He said. “It’s too early for this.” You mumbled rubbing at your eyes trying to get yourself to wake up. “Oh come on!” He pleaded as you opened your locker. “Don’t come on me, I have no parents, the only reason I’m here is you, that should be enough.” You joked, you heard him shuffling before he pulled out your favourite snack. “What did you find?” Though it was framed as a give and take, you would have heard him out either way you’ve never been able to say no to him, not since you’ve been old enough to know what it was like to be in love with your best friend. “Someone thinks the Logorhythms faked their Dad’s death and is holding him hostage.” He explained. “Faked his death?” You asked “where would they be holding him and for what?” “I don’t know I didn’t ask but you remember there was a proposition logical problem and I solved it?” Caspian asked. “Mmm.” You hummed, closing your locker and making your way to his. “The images that they sent, it looks like her Dad is communicating the same way that AngryAngel did.” He explained “so I sent the pictures to them.” “And?” You asked. “Well nothing yet.” He answered. “Yes if you get kidnapped and imprisoned by some tech company, I will storm the building to get you back.” You dramatically declared and he rolled his eyes. “Not what I was asking.” He rolled his eyes. “Alright so what are you asking?” You asked. “What do you think?” He asked. “I think that it’s very unlikely.” You answered honestly. “But let’s be honest nothing is completely impossible… How was last night? You text and said your Dad was home.” “Ehh.” He shrugged “he ate and then he left.” “Mhm.” You hummed. “Don’t worry about it.” He dismissed your concern as he always did, walking into class, you moved to your assigned seat regrettably halfway across the room from Caspian. “Okay, everyone settle down, yesterday we were talking about Orlando’s love for Rosalind and it represents just one of the many types of love Shakespeare highlights in the play. For the next phase of our analysis, we’re going to break into groups of two, so everyone find a partner.” Your teacher said. “Guess it’s you and me.” You glanced up at a boy you recognised from class not that you cared to even know his name. “Why?” You asked. “She wants some time with your boy, without his guard dog around.” He smirked, jutting his head towards Hannah talking to Caspian, she’d pulled over a table and they seemed to be well into their discussion. “So can I sit or…” “Whatever.” You pulled your feet up into a crossed leg position on the chair leaning forward, ready to do all the work for the project since you were sure that he knew literally nothing.

“Are we still doing that movie night tomorrow?” You asked. “Oh um.” Caspian avoided looking at you and you knew the moment that he started fumbling. “You hanging out with… what’s her face?” You clicked your thumb and middle finger as if trying to remember her name, when in reality all it was doing was running around your head in circles. “Hannah.” He answered. “Don’t do that.” He muttered. “Don’t do what?” You asked. “Stop.” He was a little too smart for the games that normal people played as teens when dancing around their feelings. “Yeah, it’s fine I’ll just watch it on my own.” You finally answered. “Hey maybe we can-” “No it’s fine honestly, have fun.” You waved him off before heading off home.

The next day went as all the others did, when you got home you threw your bag onto the chair in the living room deciding to get changed and eat something before sitting down to finish the rest of the project that needed handing in. You were about an hour in before there was a knock on the door, you frowned as you opened the door to Caspian “I thought you were supposed to be with Hannah.” You said. “My parents scared her off.” He answered. “Your dad was home?” You asked. “Pushed my mum.” He answered. “She’s okay?” You asked. “Yeah.” He nodded. “And you're okay?” You moved out of the way allowing him into the house. “Yeah, he didn’t touch me.” He answered walking in. “Wait I thought you were watching that movie, it looks like your doing the project.” “Well my partner has no intention of working with me.” You explained as you walked towards the sofa where everything was spread out. “Oh yeah.” He nodded. “Look I’m-” “Don’t apologise for making other friends, just please be careful, there’s something going on here, I don’t know what it is but there is something going on.” You explained. “Is it so hard to believe that she might just be interested in me?” Caspian asked. “No it’s not, trust me it’s not but I don’t trust her.” You shrugged. “So you're jealous?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “You know you’ve had a rough evening, I’m not going to make it any worse but when you're ready to talk to me, you let me know.” You said picking up your laptop to continue with your work, he stood there for a second before disappearing out the door, your eyes cast down to your hands as you fought tears.

Over the next few days you only grew apart, your life became very monotonous, you went to school, you went home. You didn’t have any other friends so there was no one else to hang out with, instead you watched and rewatched old shows and movies. Caspian seemed happy with Hannah and you hated yourself for being angry about it, it wasn’t about you, he should be happy and you should be happy for him. You had for a long time wished that it might be you that made him that happy but it seemed like it was just not in the cards.

One afternoon you came home from school, everything seemed normal at first, that is until you walked into the living room to find Caspian hunched over your demolished laptop “I hope you're upgrading that as part of an apology.” You decided not to start a fight immediately. “Are you one of them?” He asked. “Excuse me?” You asked. “Answer the question.” He ordered, standing from where he was sitting in front of. “I don’t know what you're talking about Cas.” You answered honestly. “What’s this about, did something happen?” He looked at you for a second before looking back at your laptop. “I found these in my computer and my phone.” He explained holding up 2 small chips, you stepped closer looking at the little chip that said Logorhythms in small letters. “Okay so why did you think I had something to do with that, I still need you to sort out my tech problems.” You reminded him as you looked at the laptop in pieces on the table. “I went looking for my mum after I found this, I found her at the Civic Centre with Hannah.” He explained. “They were talking about me… About what I talked to her about.” “What you talked to Hannah about?” You asked. “Mhm.” He hummed. “So you thought that I was working with them too?” You asked. “I didn’t know what to trust.” He answered. “Well why don’t you talk to Hannah about it?” You asked. “Your mum’s not going to tell you anything but she might, especially if she’s new to all this.” “Why are you helping me, after everything that happened?” He asked. “Cas I’m not your enemy, never have been. I am, however, going to be real mad at you if you can’t fix that.” You informed him, jutting your head towards the laptop. “I can fix that.” He promised “Look I’m sorry about everything, you were right and I didn’t listen to you.” “No it’s fine I sounded like a jealous best friend, who-” You stopped yourself from talking realising that you almost outed yourself. “Who what?” He asked, he was a little too sharp for his own good and you knew that he was not going to let it go. “Don’t you have to meet up with Hannah, find out what’s going on?” You asked. “Who what?” He asked, stepping forward causing you to step back. “Can you maybe not make me say it?” You asked. “I need you to say it.” He almost pleaded, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek, thumb gently running back and forth. “Do you know what ‘it’ is?” You asked. “I have an idea.” He was so close now, you had to look up to make eye contact and his other hand had come to rest on the back of your head keeping you in place. “I’d really like to be more than friends.” You finally said and what you saw was the realist smile you had seen in a long time. “More than friends?” He asked. “Don’t make-” You were cut off by him pressing his lips to yours in an almost bruising kiss one hand dropping to your waist to keep you close. “Cas we have to find out what’s going on.” You reminded him between kisses as you tried to get him to pull back. “I will, I’ll talk to her tomorrow, I still need to fix your laptop.” He said dismissively, leaning back in. “Alright.” You pulled away placing your hand over his mouth, you could feel him smirking “you're very good at that.” “At kissing?” He asked, eyebrows raised, his voice muffled and you rolled your eyes. “You need to end things with Hannah and you need to fix that laptop, the rest is up to you.” You informed him as he pulled your hand from his mouth. “I’ll talk to Hannah tomorrow, I’ll fix your laptop tonight.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Happy?” “Happy.” You nodded.

*Part 2*

Request Here!!

[endgame-ended-me]

Pantheon s2 spoilers under the cut!!

I'm so unwell for that ending. Maddie and Caspian going thru all that pain and suffering over and over, just to see each other again. It hurts my heart <//3

And every simulation is different, has deviations, big and small, from the OG timeline.

Maybe in one simulation, they meet before shit all went down, and get to just enjoy life as the teens that they are... maybe shit doesn't even go down at all,,, but then without all that stuff happening, They'd have absolutely no reason to meet, and Mist wouldn't even exist (a world deprived of Hatsune Mistku :(((() Is there a sim where Caspian doesn't get uploaded? Where He and Maddie get to experience their future? Or maybe one where he never realizes his whole life is a lie? God,,, Maddie spent so much time creating hundreds and thousands of sims, that the possibilities might literally be endless. In conclusion Pantheon changed my brain chemistry. Stan Chanda.

[strangerfandomfiascos]

Is there anyone from the Narnia fandom who would be happy to do a beta read for me in a few days time? ❤️🌲🔦✨️ It's only a oneshot and probably won't be more than 2000 words :)

[pevensiegiigi]

Ao3: An ordinary day between Rilian and Caspian

Rilian loves the little moments his father has to dedicate to him and tell him about Narnia.

[skelemira]

Hey guys!! So I made my first foray out of undertale writing (I still will do undertale writing and commissions/requests, but I have a new current hyperfixation lol) and wrote a oneshot for Just Roll With It!!! (For anyone unfamiliar, it's a DND podcast run by Charlie Slimecicle, Grizzlyplays, Condifiction, and Bizly! It is such a good freaking podcast please go listen to it)

I got inspired by a friend to write this particular oneshot, and it's about Edyn Tidestrider flirting with Jay Ferin! It's very fluffy and very VERY gay so have fun and I hope you enjoy!

[simp2537]

Masterlist

🔥-Smut 🧨-Angst

🩹-Hurt/Comfort 🧸-Fluff

🫶🏻-Yandere

🗝️-Dark/Darkish Aleksander Morozova

Series

Moon Helios: Y/n Starkov a legendary warrior, fierce protecter and monster. Bred and broken in servitude to her saint. She knows nothing but her mission in life. To live, and die at her saint’s command. Aleksander Morozova the most powerful of the grisha, a monster. A general who has been fighting alone for hundreds of years. She hates him, he needs her. 🔥🧨🩹🧸🗝️

Series trigger warnings: Child abuse, anxiety, religious trauma, racism, manipulation, division of canon, Alina hate?, trauma, ptsd, bullying, insomnia, self-neglect, mental health issues, guilt tripping, cult theme, blood consumption, cannibalism?? Lost of murder, talks of SA in other characters, Sexual acts, future smut, predatory behavior(not from Aleks) and all other shadow and bone stuff

Act I: The Sanctuary Act l : The academy Act I : Burn Marks Act I : Where’s my epic background music Act I : Necklace for a Lifetime Act I : The Motherland Act I : A Helios is Born Act I : The Return

Act II : The Blood Helios

Series Blurs

I Have a Dream🧸🩹

Oneshots

Marking (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🔥 Touch her and die (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader) 🩹🧨 Scars (Aleksander Morozova x wife reader)🧨🩹 Tension (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)🔥

Harry Potter

Series

N/a

Oneshots

A Miracle (Mattheo Riddle x pregnant!reader) 🩹 A Fathers love (Matthe Riddle x wife!reader)🩹🧸🧨 Reunion (King!Siris Black x fem!reader)🩹🧸

John Wick

Series

Pupllis: She was a weapon from birth. Born and bred to kill for the high table. John Wick a legendary assassin who knew more fame than any. She was a gift to him, he didn’t want to keep her. As there time together passes and they learn to care for one anyone the High Table comes for them. platonic! John wick x child!fem! Reader.🩹🧨🔥🗝️🧸 (Smut is not with John but future Oc)

Chapters One

Oneshots

N/a

My Hero Academia

Series

The Final Alice: Aizawa never wanted to be a father but that plan was thrown away when he found a girl during a mission. This girl was like no child he’d ever seen before. As she grew her power and background remained a mystery. How will her life turn when she meets a charming red head with sharp teeth and an explosive blonde. platonic!Aizawa x daughter!reader, KiriBaku x fem!reader.🧨🩹🔥🧸

Help Pick A Hero Name Help Pick A Hero Name pt 2 Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven

Oneshots

N/a

Narnia

Series

From the Stars : A star fairy and the prince of the kingdom that destroyed hers. What could happen? Prince Caspian x fem!reader🧨🧨🧨🔥🩹🗝️

Sneak Peak Star Fairy Royal Bloodline Cast Act I ~ Cast

Oneshots

Yandere Prince Caspian x reader headcannons🫶🏻 Something New (King Caspian x wife reader) 🔥

Percy Jackson

Series

N/a

Oneshots

Runaway (Percy Jackson x gn!reader)🧨🧨🩹🫶🏻🗝️ Misery is the Truest way of Love (Yandere Pereabeth x gn!reader)🫶🏻🧨🗝️ Lovers Quarrel (Pereabeth x gn!reader)🧨🩹 Stage Lovers (Yandere Perceabth x male!reader) 🧨🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🗝️

Blurs

Bottom Percy 🔥

Winx Club

Series

Fairy of Monsters : Alastaria the forgotten sister of Bloom. She slowly begins to unravel her true nature, thread by thread. How will she survive the many trials of her life. Sky of Eraklyon x Oc. Dark Winx Club fix.🩹🧨🗝️

Chapters one : Advesperascit  Chapter two : Monochopsis Chapter three : Kalopsia

Oneshots

N/a

The 100

Series

Project SS: It stared as an idea. Take a dying child and infect them with the SS serum. These children would be raised in isolation, to be the future soldiers for the ark, then earth.

Most died out over time.

Not her, Not Y/n Kane. The only child of Marcus Kane and his wife Alice Kane. After her birth, born with a weak heart Alice Kane decided to give her to the scientists that were working on the project.

Forging her husband’s signature upon the document Alice Kane was sentenced to death. The deal though and Y/n Kane became the most deadly of the super soldiers.

When protecting a friend she finds herself in a cell. Then in her way to earth with the rest of the 100. How will her love continue knowing she’s just puppet to be controlled. Will she grow out of such a horrible situation and blossom with the help of her friends and loved ones. Or will she fall so deep into her created identity that there is no hope. Bellamy Blake x fem!reader.🔥🧨🩹🗝️

Sneak Peak Chapter One Chapter Two

Dead Boy Detectives

Series

Scylla: She’s a half-breed mutt and he’s a crow. She was trapped in hell for hundreds of years before she met a teenage ghost who helped her escape. They later met another boy who would soon die and join there friendship. The group created the Dead Boy Detective Agency. Later as their classes become more difficult pieces of her life before her friends is slowly revealed. What should happen when she met and falls deeply and helplessly in love with an enemy crow. 🔥🧨🩹

Sneak peek Cast Chapter One Chapter Two

Oneshots

Poly Crystal Palace x mermaid reader x Niko Sasaki🧸

Twilight

Series

Hunter : When Charlie and Renee’s relationship was breaking the pair thought it’d be a good idea for them to have another child. However they couldn’t convince another child. So instead they chose to adopt a two year old little girl with a strange mark on his wrist. Bella was four when she met her new little sister. At first she didn’t like Y/n. She was always taking her dad’s attention.

Till one day Bella cut her knee on the sidewalk while playing. The first person that ran to her when she was hurt was Y/n. From that day forth Bella and Y/n were inseparable.

When Y/n was five her parents realized their marriage wasn’t working. Then they realized how smart Y/n was. Then two men from another country came and told Renee that they wanted Y/n to go to a special school for extraordinary children. They paid Renee and she sent Y/n off when she was five.

What happens when Y/n turns fifteenth and goes home. Will how different Y/n is change her life. Will the new being in her home change her.🧸🩹🧨🗝️

Hunter Prologue: Last Defenders Chapter One : Reunited Chapter Two : Home Sweet Home

Request list/Requests are Open

[bizlybebo]

do you ever think about the fact that it’s possible drey ferin and caspian are the same/similar age.

do you ever think about the fact drey was only in his early twenties at the time of the hole in the sea.

do you ever think about the fact that he finally tasted freedom on his breath, he finally felt a hint of that acceptance and that love he never got from his family. the fact that he was finally loved not for how well he followed rules, but for being himself. the fact that he finally found his place w the black rose pirates.

do you ever think about the fact that he lost ten years of himself to the hole in the sea. ten years of his mind. ten years of his life. of the people he loved. jay was still in school playing with dolls, and by the time he saw her again, his niece had grown into a whole adult.

do you ever think about the fact that chip now is nearly the same age that drey was in the oneshot. how do you think he feels knowing chip, in the end, fell to the same thing he did; the black sea.

do you ever think about drey ferin being. yknow. a ferin. the sureshot of the ship. and not being able to use his arms anymore.

do you think about how he was SO FUCKING YOUNG DURING THE EVENTS OF THE HOLE IN THE SEA LIKE I DONT THINK YOU ARE HEARING ME HE WAS YOUNG. HE BARELY MADE IT PAST BEING A TEENAGER. HE IS NOT AN OLD MAN HES HARDLY IN HIS 30S

[heliads]

Narnia Masterlist

Prince Caspian

My Prince - Based on this request: "Reader and Caspian with a sort of rivals to friends to lovers. Transition from "My prince" (Sarcastic) to "My prince" (joking) to "MY prince" (loving)." Imagine

Lucy Pevensie

A Question of Acceptance - Based on this request: "lucy introduces her girlfriend to her family while they're still kings and queens but they're both scared that the pevensies won't be accepting?" Imagine

Peter Pevensie Masterlist

[padfootagain]

Book Lovers

Here I am with a new fanfic for my Comeback event! This was requested by @jackys-stuff-blog : “Hey Carole, welcome back sweetheart 😊 I saw your event and can I send something in too? So uhm, can I request a library au where the reader is a librarian in Cair Paravel and they have a crush on prince/king Caspian who visits the library very often (either he is doing researches or just to read books in his free time 🙈), please? Thank you 😊 (Just if you want to write it 🙈)”

This is such a cute requests jfnjneuonrune I love it!!

I hope you like what I’ve written for you here! Thank you for sending this request!

****

Pairing: Caspian x reader

Warnings: so much fluff your heart might actually melt. Bonus: a very shy Caspian.

Summary: Caspian falls head over heels for the librarian in Cair Paravel.

Word Count: 2997

You liked humming while you worked.

Whenever the library of Cair Paravel was empty, you liked filling up the empty space with a soft humming sound; a quiet one, barely audible, but that felt merry all the same.

You picked up another book, checking the title engraved in golden letters on the leathery cover, and put it on its designated right spot on the shelf. You breathed deeply the sent of parchment, leather and ink. The safest fragrance there was. Your favourite.

It was a sunny dawn, bathing the beginning of spring with warmth. You could hear some birds chirping happily outside, and the sound brought a smile to your face. You liked that time of the year; when the mornings were still cold and shy but the afternoons were warm enough to let the first flowers bloom. For now, the first rays of sunshine were waking up Narnia and all its inhabitants.

It was early still, and yet you expected for the King to arrive any minute now. It had become a habit of his, really. Whenever he was in Cair Paravel, he took an hour in the morning to come to the library to do some research about history, geography, about old myths or about the kingdoms around Narnia. Sometimes he asked for a precise book, sometimes for a general topic, but he always asked you something. It was the same scene playing over and over again: Caspian passed the wooden doors with a warm smile on his lips, looked around for a while, then came to talk with you for a while, before you would guide him to the right books or maps and he would remain there for a while longer. But then, it would be the end of dawn and the beginning of bright daylight, and he would give you another one of his warm smiles, a polite nod to silently thank you for your help, and he would stride out of the library to attend his first meeting of the day.

And you would look at him walk across the room, longing to brush this rebellious strand of hair that always escaped his bun behind his ear. You would send him your brightest grin while you bowed as he would send one last shy smile your way before closing the doors behind him, and you would pray Aslan for him not to notice the way your breathing had quickened at the sight of his soft gesture, and for him to remain oblivious of how fast your heart was beating. You would stare at the door for long minutes, looking at the space, now empty, that he used to occupy.

And you would do your best to hide that you were deeply, unconditionally, desperately, irrevocably, madly… in love with him.

It was almost comical, really. The keeper of knowledge in Cair Paravel was foolish enough to fall in love with the King. The most unreachable man there was in the entire kingdom. The only man you had absolutely no chance of being with. Comical, really…

Speaking of the devil…

You heard the wooden door open, it made a creaking noise whenever it turned on its hinges. You were thankful for the signal, as it allowed you to climb down the ladder you were perched on, before putting down the book in your hand and heading towards the door to welcome the King. He was wearing a large brown shirt and a pair of leathery pants with high brown boots. He had left the first buttons of his shirt undone, and his hair was loose, falling gracefully on each side of his face to reach his shoulders.

Aslan, he was so handsome…

He offered you this smile of his, the one you were expecting, the warm and soft kind…

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” you answered, bowing before him.

You finally noticed that he was holding a couple of books, probably the ones he had borrowed from your library the week before. But instead of giving them back to you so you could put them away, He kept on staring at you for a while, his smile a little smaller on his face as it turned into a dreamy expression.

You were so beautiful like this, bathed in the reddened light of the young dawn that came in from the large windows. He stared as you bit your lip, an apparent sign of your nervousness. He noticed the way you joined your hands in your back. He noticed the way your eyes seemed almost afraid of him. Or… not quite afraid, no… Intimated, perhaps. Yes, that was closer to this look in your eyes. Still, your gaze was inviting, as if… as if you couldn’t help but stare at him too. As if you wanted to look at him, even if you weren’t supposed to…

He finally shook himself, realizing that he had been staring at you for way too long. He cleared his throat, looking at the tip of his brown boots to hide the way he was fiercely blushing.

“I… I will simply… I might need your help later, if you don’t mind.”

Caspian silently cursed himself for stuttering like a damn fool…

“Of course! Anything you need, Your Majesty.”

He nodded, still not looking at you, before striding to the closest shelf to hide there.

He made sure you could not see him and rested his back against the rows of books, throwing his head back and letting out a long sigh as silently as he could.

His heart was pounding. He needed to calm down.

It was always the same. He came here to see you every morning, and there you were… It was always the same scene repeating itself over and over again: he would walk in to find you hurrying towards him. He would stare at your welcoming grin as you bowed before him. And he would study how dawn painted your frame this time, how it would embrace your form and paint your skin in a slightly different shade than the day before, thanks to the everchanging qualities of light… And he would find himself at a loss for words, and would have to flee before making a fool of himself. He would need some time to gather his courage again before being able to talk to you once more. And then… then he would talk with you and he would listen to your soothing voice, glancing over at your hand every once in a while, wondering how your skin would feel against his… He would pretend to be in need of your services as the Royal Librarian, when really, he simply wanted to see you. And then, after running out of excuses to stay a little longer, he would finally take his leave, walking out of the room to attend his first meeting of the day. He could never stop himself from looking at you one last time before closing the heavy doors though.

And all the while, during his entire stay at the library, he had to manage to hide the fact that he was completely, entirely, absolutely, eternally, hopelessly… in love with you.

But all of this was about to change. Because Caspian had taken a decision.

This habit of his to come early every morning to see you, under the pretence of looking for books, had been going on for months now, and it was more than time for him to finally be brave enough to tell you the truth.

He didn’t come to the library for the books it sheltered at all, but because of the pretty librarian who worked there…

But this charade had been going on for long enough. It was time for him to be brave, and to finally tell you how he felt.

Or well… not… everything, because then he would probably scare you away. But he did intend to make it clear that he wanted to court you.

Caspian tightened his hold on his books, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm his nerves. Outside, birds were chirping happily, and he took it as a good omen. If the world was happy and bright outside, why couldn’t it be the same in this library now?

At last, he walked away from the bookshelves again, and went looking for you. He forced himself to keep moving forward when he finally spotted you, making piles of books on a large wooden table, so it would be easier to organize them and put them away.

You were focused on your task, and jumped when you finally noticed Caspian approaching.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I did not mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s me… I was lost in thought.”

You exchanged a timid smile, before Caspian would hand you the books he was still tightly holding.

“Thank you for your recommendations,” he spoke with a warm, calm voice that soothed you and yet made butterflies flutter in your stomach. “These were… interesting books.”

“Did you enjoy them?”

“I did. Very much so. Thank you.”

“Anytime, Your Majesty.”

You took the books, eyes glued on his dark stare. His eyes were so brown, they looked black in the early light, and you couldn’t distinguish where his irises began and where his pupils ended. And you couldn’t find the strength to look away…

“I…”

But Caspian fell silent, and all that remained was a motionless silence bathed in orange light. The sky was turning from red to gold slowly, shades mingling, hues changing into lighter ones. You could barely breathe, didn’t dare to move. There was an expectancy hovering above the two of you, covering your frames with a heavy blanket that seemed to impend your movements and thoughts alike. Impossible to think, to react… you could only wait for Caspian to speak again.

But he opened his mouth once more and failed to summon his voice, blushing hard. He couldn’t look away. He was trapped inside your gaze and there was nothing he could do. Nor move, nor speak, nor think. It was just you bathed in this morning light…

Finally, you gathered enough strength to speak, even though your voice was shaky.

“Do you need anything, Your Majesty? Can I help you?”

The sound of your voice seemed enough to shake him out of his trance and he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. He clenched his fists.

“I… Actually, I do not require your services as a librarian this morning.”

“Oh… very well…” you mumbled, quite taken aback.

“I… I came here to… ask you if you would wish to… perhaps… take a walk with me, this morning.”

Your eyes grew round. It was only then that you seemed to notice how nervous Caspian truly was. Which was unusual for him. After all, he was King. He was used to giving speeches in front of hundreds of people, to deal calmly with the most desperate situations, to take decisions that would set the destiny of thousands…

And yet, there he was now… looking nervous and fragile in front of… you.

Why would he be nervous?

“Did I… did I do something wrong, Your Majesty?” you asked, suddenly terrified. “Am I… Are you going to throw me out of the castle?”

Because there was no other explanation, really. You couldn’t see any, at least. You knew he was kind-hearted, and if you had done something wrong, that required him to send you away, then he might feel guilty about it; hence the nervousness.

But he frowned hard in response, looking at you as if you were mad.

“What? No… no of course not. You… you have done nothing wrong, Y/N.”

“Oh… Then… I do not understand…”

He cleared his throat again, nodding slowly.

He took a step towards you, getting closer, and his heart skipped a beat at your sudden nearness.

“I would like to take a walk with you in the gardens this morning, Y/N,” Caspian repeated. “Would you like that?”

“I… but why?”

He let out a breathy chuckle, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

He reckoned there was no other way to go around all this but by speaking plainly…

He looked at you again, his gaze soft and loving.

“I would like to spend time with you. And… not as a King requiring the services of his Royal Librarian but as… you and me. Just you and me. Because… I would like to know you better. And I would like you to know me better, too.”

You stared at him in silence, suspended to his words because… surely, he couldn’t be meaning that…

You were a librarian and he was a king… you couldn’t be together. How could he ever fall in love with you?

Before your silence, Caspian guessed that he needed to be even more direct, and so he was.

“I would like to court you, Y/N.”

You blinked a couple of times.

“Court me?” you repeated, unable to fathom what his words truly implied.

“Yes. I would like to court you.”

“Oh…”

You shook yourself, summoning the strength and the focus necessary to think. You shook your head, frowning.

Caspian could feel his heart breaking in his chest…

“Of course, if you do not feel the same, then… we can always forget that this conversation happened, and we will go back to being only a king and his royal librarian…”

“But you… you are a king.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I… am quite aware of that fact,” he smiled, quite amused despite the circumstances.

“And I’m the Royal Librarian.”

“Again, I am well aware of this fact.”

“We… I am not a princess or a… a noble woman of any kind.”

He frowned hard.

“I do not care about that.”

“You should. You should marry someone of your… rank.”

You noticed the way Caspian clenched his jaw, lowering his gaze to the ground again. Slowly, he nodded.

“I would like you to answer very earnestly my next question, Y/N. Could you do that?”

“Of course.”

“Are you saying no because I am a King? Or because you feel nothing for me at all?”

He looked up once more to capture your stare in his. You swallowed hard, your palms clammy.

“Please, do not lie about this. Give me an earnest answer,” insisted Caspian.

You should have lied though. Because it was ridiculous to admit to the King that you had feelings for him. Still, you were lost in this pair of black eyes you adored, and you couldn’t tell anything but the truth.

“I am not saying no. But you are King. And I am simply a librarian.”

“If I were not the King… would you say yes? Would you let me court you?”

You took a sharp inhale, before diving…

“Yes, I would let you court me.”

Slowly, a grin spread across his handsome features. You found yourself wondering what it would feel like to run your fingers through his short beard…

“Then, please… take a walk with me.”

“But…”

“I do not care about your rank, nor do I care about mine. I only care about the way I feel for you. And… I feel… a lot for you.”

You only noticed that you had stopped breathing once your lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen.

“I have… felt this way for quite a while, to be honest,” he admitted, his cheeks and ears now crimson.

At last, you started breathing again, and it was your time to paint a bright grin on the curve of your lips.

“I feel this way as well,” you confessed in a mere whisper. “But I did not think that my feelings were reciprocated.”

His grin turned amused.

“Why do you think I spend all my mornings here?” he questioned in a quiet tone that matched perfectly yours, a soft whisper that fitted confessions.

Your grin doubled in size.

“Really? You came to see me?”

Caspian nodded, his hand slowly raising to your face so he could let his fingertips brush the edge of your jawline, then up to your cheek and cheekbone…

You could barely breathe all over again. In their wakes, his fingers left your skin on fire…

“I… I merely wanted to see you every day, that is all.”

“I… I hoped every morning that you would come… that I could see you…”

He cradled your cheek in his large, callous palm, fingertips lost now in your hair...

You saw his lips getting closer to yours, as if he was falling towards you, diving towards your mouth…

“There is one last thing that I would like to ask you,” whispered Caspian, his lips now mere centimetres from yours.

“Anything…”

“Please, don’t call me ‘Majesty’ anymore. Call me ‘Caspian’. Please… please say my name…”

You could feel his breath fanning across your lips, the air leaving your lungs colliding with the air escaping from his…

You closed your eyes, your hands reaching up to hold onto his shirt.

“Caspian…”

He reckoned he had never heard his name spoken so softly, so beautifully, so lovingly…

Before you could speak again, Caspian had closed the gap between your two mouths, and was pressing a tender kiss to your lips. You were certain you were dreaming, although, when you felt your knees weakening and Caspian wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer, you couldn’t deny that this was real.

You were kissing Caspian…

You were not certain about when one of your hands left his shirt to mess with his hair instead, but when your lips finally parted, your fingers were lost in his soft strands.

You were both breathless and slightly shaking.

You opened your eyes again, only to fall imprisoned in his gaze once more.

“So… what about we take a walk in the gardens now?” Caspian repeated his offer, a grin stuck on his lips.

You mirrored his happy gesture, nodding.

“It sounds lovely, indeed…”

[puppetmaster13u]

Which Fantasy AU Oneshot Should I work on

(Lil Info Blurbs Below the Poll Itself & Read More)

Griffin: Superbat with lil baby Dick Grayson as well. Mostly Pre-relationship. And an attempted mauling or two, don't worry, Clark is fine.  (Black Jaguar & Harpy Eagle Bruce) (Liger & Scarlet Macaw Clark) (Caracle & Hyacinth Macaw Dick)

Selkie: Brutalia with reverse robins (Selkies are seal shapeshifters) ... Talia is this close to murdering someone because Bruce with babies is adorable in her opinion (Baikal Seal Talia) (Leopard Seal Bruce) (Baikal Damian) (Caspian Duke) (Gray Tim) (Crabeater Steph) (Ribbon Jason) (Monk Cass) (Harbor Dick)

Harpy: Superbat with begrudging-at-first coparenting of the (literal) Robins. Mostly through the doing of said children.  (Crimson Rosella Clark) (Black Drongo Bruce) (Blue-Fronted Robin Dick) (Hooded Robin Cass) (Red-Capped Robin Jason) (Pink Robin Steph) (Collared Bush Robin Tim) (White Starred Robin Duke) (Olive Backed Forest Robin Damian)

Mershark: Twobats with Harvey about to have a breakdown on why Bruce keeps coming to him with all these kids he just finds, apparently?!  (Tiger Harvey) (Great White Bruce) (Thresher Shark Dick) (Hammerhead Jason) (Mako Tim) (Lemon Steph)

Wurm: Batfam with Big Boi Bruce being a social recluse & trying to be a good dad. It's also Very Hard to get a giant serpentine dragon thing to do things it doesn't wanna do

[slaymitchabernathy]

The Nanny

"Mommy, when're we gonna go to the party?"

Soarynn dabs some more powder onto her face, she can't afford to look bad tonight, "Soon sweetheart."

"Mommy, what're you wearing to the party?"

Soarynn sets her powder compact down, silver with a rose engraved onto the lid, "I'm wearing a red dress sweetheart to match your father."

"Mommy, why're we having this party?"

Soarynn pauses in her makeup routine, trying to come up with a suitable answer for Ceraphina who's seen very little of the Hunger Games so far, "We're having this party to celebrate the Victor of the Hunger Games," she explains, watching Ceraphina through the mirror's reflection, "he's coming off of a very long tour from the Districts."

Every year after the Hunger Games end and a new Victor is crowned by Coriolanus, the Victor returns home to their District where they bathe in their newfound riches and move into a beautiful house provided by the Capitol. A few months later, they embark on a Victory Tour through all Twelve Districts, paying their respects to the fallen Tributes while giving inspiring speeches about the Capitol's generosity.

This year's Victor, Beckett, has just finished his Victor Tour and arrived in the Capitol this morning for the last stop in his Tour, the President's Mansion where a huge party is being thrown for him. Having the party at the Mansion serves many purposes. It allows the public to witness the grandeur of the President's riches while also allowing them to see the Victor up close and personal. Drinks will flow and music will play and no one will remember it after five days but the Snows are required to attend as tradition demands.

The girls have been chattering about the party since Soarynn and Coriolanus got back from their honeymoon but Soarynn hasn't been able to share their enthusiasm. Not when she still remembers the last time she was around people from one of the Districts. But she can't miss the party unless she's terribly ill which she is not.

There are worse things to be forced to do but Soarynn still feels strange about the entire thing. Beckett is still a child and yet she's seen grown women lusting over him. It's a life she wouldn't wish on any child, District or not.

"Will there be cake?"

Soarynn nods, grabbing her vanilla-scented perfume, "Yes darling, there will be lots of cake and other desserts tonight." Soarynn is thankful that tonight doesn't require a sit-down dinner. There will be lots of tables with different types of foods for people to try while they mingle.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I love you."

Soarynn's lips curl up into a smile and she turns around on her vanity stool to face her eldest daughter who's been so sweet since she got back from her honeymoon, "I love you," she tells Ceraphina, holding out her arms for a hug. Ceraphina doesn't make her wait, leaping into her arms and giggling when Soarynn peppers her face with kisses, "Oh, I'm so lucky to have you," Soarynn tells her. She means it too, she's so very blessed to have three beautiful children in her life.

If only she could have another.

It's been one week since Soarynn got married to Coriolanus Snow and she's still not pregnant. Not that she expected it to happen just like that but they've had sex every single night since their wedding, sometimes in the morning as well and nothing has come of it. And it's not like Coriolanus is finishing anywhere but inside of her.

Soarynn pulls away from the hug when she feels Ceraphina doing the same and she rests her hand on her stomach, wishing for it to swell with a child, "Are you feeling sick Mommy?" Soarynn quickly shakes her head, knowing how scared the children get when either of their parents doesn't feel well. After Livia succumbed to a sudden illness, a simple cough can send them into a terrorized state.

"I'm perfectly fine darling," she assures her, "now why don't you go put on your shoes hmm? We laid them out this morning remember?" Ceraphina nods and runs out of the bathroom with the promise to put her shoes on by herself since she's so grown up now.

Soarynn still can't shake the disappointment of not being pregnant yet and mix that with having to mingle with everyone in the Capitol tonight and she just might be sick by midnight. But she doesn't have time to pity herself, not when she hears her husband enter their bedroom, his loud voice booming throughout the large room. Soarynn only catches the last half of his conversation but it sounds like an important one.

"...need to reel them in before things get out of hand Quintus. With the election coming up I can't afford any shortcomings."

Soarynn checks her appearance one more time in the vanity mirror, pleased with what she sees staring back at her. She went with her natural, everyday makeup look, but added a bit of eyeliner and red lipstick to match her red dress. Speaking of her dress, she needs to put it on before they start running late.

Just as she's about to stand up, Coriolanus walks in and his gaze immediately lands on her, dressed only in her robe and slippers, "Don't come in Quintus," he says, closing the bathroom doors behind him. Soarynn offers him a sweet smile even though she can tell he's stressed. Petunia who was lounging on the edge of the tub hops onto the floor and pads over to Coriolanus, purring up a storm while rubbing her body against her leg.

Coriolanus pays her no mind and treads into their closet and Soarynn follows right behind him. She can hear him mumbling to himself, physically in their closet, mentally still in his study. Soarynn takes her dress off the hanger, admiring the silky fabric that Tigris pulled together for her tonight. It has two thin straps holding it up and a slit that goes up her right leg, sure to drive Coriolanus mad tonight.

Soarynn slides her robe off her slender figure and carefully steps into her dress, pulling it over her hips and then slipping her arms through the straps. She's almost fully got it on but she needs help with tying it in the back.

She looks over her shoulder at Coriolanus who's also getting dressed, putting on his shoes while wearing a scowl. "Coryo?"

He doesn't seem to hear her through his own troubling thoughts so she tries again, louder this time, "Coryo?"

He looks up at her, his eyes slightly widen when he drinks in the sight of her and what she's wearing tonight, "Yes, my love?"

"Could you please help me with the back? It needs to be tied," she tells him, turning around to show him where the issue lies. Coriolanus nods, swallowing down the small lump in his throat while rising from the bench to help her. Soarynn pulls her hair over her shoulder while his large hands pull at the strings, ensuring that she doesn't flash anyone tonight, "Is this alright?" He asks, his voice husky and his lips very close to her ear. Soarynn shivers, "Perfect," she whispers, letting her hair fall back down over her back, "thank you for helping me."

She turns around to admire the suit he's wearing tonight, a deep red, perfectly matching her dress. He looks so sharp and handsome like the imposing President of Panem people know him to be. She straightens out his tie and pulls his collar down, "You look very handsome Coryo."

Coriolanus sighs and rests a hand on her back, pulling her against him, "I don't feel very handsome right now." Soarynn's lips tug down into a frown and she furrows her brows, "Why not? What's wrong?"

Coriolanus shakes his head, pressing a fake smile to his lips, "Nothing to concern yourself with darling." He kisses her forehead before she can protest and turns on his heel, "I'll see you shortly alright?" Soarynn can only nod, watching as her husband walks out of their closet, leaving her more worried and confused than she was before he came in.

Petunia strolls in, not at all affected by the humans around her or their wild emotions. She hops onto the table in the center of their closet and does a big stretch while watching Soarynn, "It must be nice to be a cat," Soarynn muses, scratching behind her ears. Petunia meows in reply, "Mommy, we're ready!"

The children's voices draw Soarynn from her clouded bubble and she shakes herself out of it, "I'll see you later Petunia."

꧁ ꧂

The Victory Party is a great success.

People are laughing, drinks are flowing, food is being eaten and Soarynn is miserable.

She fakes it very well to her credit, never letting her society smile fall as people compliment her on the party and her recent wedding. "Truly, we've never seen such a stunning bride," one woman says while sipping on a purple-colored beverage.

Caspian reaches out to touch the feathers on the woman's shoulder pads and Soarynn quickly pulls his hand down, "Thank you so much, the support we've received has been overwhelming." It's not a lie, Coriolanus and Soarynn Snow's wedding has been all there is to talk about. Every billboard, every magazine, and newsoutlet has been discussing it and giving out their opinions about the ceremony.

From the guest list to the tablecloths, everyone has an opinion.

"Such a shame you couldn't away for a more dreamy honeymoon," the woman sighs, "I heard District Four has a beautiful resort this time of year, have you been?" Soarynn feigns excitement and nods, "Yes we have. We didn't want to be too far from the children though," she easily lies, trying to forget what happened in Four.

The woman nods and doesn't push it any further which Soarynn appreciates, they discuss more light-hearted topics until the woman's drunk husband stumbles into one of the soup tables and she has to go rescue him.

Soarynn bounces Caspian up and down on her hip, he was doing just fine walking by himself but he suddenly got overwhelmed and asked to be held. Soarynn could hardly decline him, not when she herself was also feeling very overwhelmed. The girls had gone off with Coriolanus to get some cake a while ago but with a party like this, Soarynn knows they've been caught up talking with some of the guests.

She takes this moment to catch her breath, scanning the ballroom for a familiar face. It's hard to spot anyone with how dark the ballroom is for tonight's festivities. The lights have been dimmed, with only small lamps providing illumination. Sofas are scattered throughout the room while servers walk around with platters of food and drinks. There are musicians floating on what must be clouds above them and Soarynn doesn't even want to know how they're doing that.

Soarynn locks eyes with the one person she so desperately wishes to avoid so of course he gives her a smile. Soarynn returns it out of necessity but panics when Beckett starts towards her. When he gets within three feet of her, Grant steps out from the shadows, acting as a buffer between them and Soarynn is suddenly so very grateful for Grant who rarely ever steps in. He lets her handle things and she appreciates it more than he'll ever know.

"Just wanted to say hello," Beckett says, nodding towards Grant who doesn't budge, "I already spoke with your husband."

Soarynn pretends to be enamored by his words and nods, "Oh, I'm so glad you did. He can be rather hard to pin down." She would know, where the hell is he?

Beckett hums and his eyes drift to Caspian who's watching Beckett curiously, "What's his name?"

Soarynn doesn't really know how this boy has managed to go this far in life without knowing the names of the President's children but she pushes all judgment aside for the sake of polite conversation, "Caspian."

Beckett seems thoroughly amused by her answer, "Ah, so they're all the same then? Ceraphina, Celeste and now Caspian, I wouldn't expect any less from President Snow."

Caspian curls into Soarynn, resting his head on her chest, "Momma go to bed," he mumbles. Caspian is her saving grace tonight. "I think I ought to put him to bed," she tells Beckett, "but it was lovely meeting you, we hope you enjoy the party."

Soarynn goes to step to the left but Beckett follows her, "I saw your wedding," he says, a strange look in his eyes, "I've never seen a more beautiful bride." Soarynn has been complimented on her beauty countless times but it feels very different coming from Beckett, "That's very kind, thank you."

Beckett's eyes rove over her body and Soarynn is beginning to regret wearing a dress with such a high slit, it seemed like a great idea two hours ago. "Do you dance?"

Soarynn is taken aback by his question since to her knowledge, no one in the Districts is familiar with the waltz, "I do," she answers, "but not tonight, I really should get Caspian to bed."

Beckett scoffs a laugh, "Just hand him off to your bodyguard," he juts his chin towards Grant who hasn't taken his eyes off of Beckett, "he'll be fine. I want to go home being able to say that I had my hands on the new First Lady."

Before Soarynn can even formulate a response to his very rude and suggestive comment, she feels a large hand come to rest on the small of her back and the scent of roses overwhelms her, "I'm afraid you'll be returning home without such an accomplishment," Coriolanus tells Beckett, looming over all of them in an imposing manner.

Beckett clears his throat, caught in his scheme, "I meant no offense."

Coriolanus laughs, a fake laugh that Soarynn sees right through, "Of course you didn't. Now run along and enjoy your party."

Beckett scurries off into the crowd and Soarynn lets out a sigh of relief, "The fucking nerve of him," Coriolanus mutters, turning Soarynn around to face him, "are you alright darling? He didn't touch you did he?" He reaches to cup her face and she melts into his touch, "No," she assures him, "Grant made sure of that, but he was awfully persistent."

She can see a million emotions flooding through her husband's eyes but the most prominent one is anger. Anger due to someone making her uncomfortable and trying to touch her. "They're all the same in the Districts," he tells her sternly, "all filthy leeches that prey on sweet things like you."

Soarynn wants to believe that there's good in some people who live in the Districts, but how can she when she's proved wrong every time?

Maybe Coriolanus is right, maybe this is the only way to keep her loved ones safe.

"I should put Caspian to bed," is all she says in response.

His eyes search hers for any lies but she has none to tell him and he slowly nods, "Come down when you're done alright?" Soarynn really doesn't want to but she knows it's not up for debate, especially when he presses his thumb further into her temple, daring her to push back on his request. "Okay," she says sweetly, batting her eyelashes up at him, a trick that always deescalates his mood if he's angry.

And it does just that. Coriolanus visibly relaxes and gives her a quick kiss before saying goodnight to Caspian and disappearing back into the crowd.

The past week the two of them have been learning from each other and learning what they will and will not tolerate in their marriage and Soarynn has quickly learned that there's nothing Coriolanus despises more than push back. From anyone really, not just her but it especially ticks him off when she questions him.

She doesn't even mean to do it in a malicious way or in a pestering manner but Soarynn is curious by nature and Coriolanus is always quick to back up his reasoning with several facts, whether or not they're valid is beside the point.

"Let's go to bed," Soarynn says quietly to Caspian who lets out a tired sigh, "Lenny go to bed," he tells her. Soarynn nods and begins to make her way through the crowded room, smiling at any guests who look in her direction despite the very uncomfortable conversation she just had with Beckett.

She truly doesn't know where any of that came from, she's never met him before, she barely even watched his Games and yet he was so insistent on dancing with her. Perhaps it's a silent fight between men who are constantly trying to assert their dominance.

Coriolanus has always been rather possessive all things considered and he's never taken kindly to those who live in the Districts. That's why the Capitol citizens love him so much.

"Oh Soarynn, I've been looking all over for you dear," Eudora calls, quickly running over to her, "you're wanted by the dessert table, some ladies from the Gallery are just dying to talk with you about next year's upcoming theme." Soarynn's only been First Lady for a week but there's no rest for the weary and she's been pulled left and right to discuss things that have been left untouched since Livia passed away.

Soarynn's lips curl up into another fake smile, the same smile she's bestowed upon everyone tonight it seems, "Of course, let me just put Caspian to bed." Eudora looks around the room for a moment and perks up when she spots the girls who are milling around, accepting compliments left and right, "Why don't we get all the children to bed?" Eudora suggests, "It's getting rather late."

She's not wrong and the girls are already up way past their bedtime. "Good idea," Soarynn agrees, beckoning the girls over to them, "Mommy! Mommy, there was a chocolate fountain!" Celeste animatedly tells her, pointing at one of the long tables filled with different treats.

"That sounds like a dream come true for you girls," Soarynn muses, resting a hand on Celeste's head, "and speaking of dreams, it's time you girls go to bed."

Both Ceraphina and Celeste immediately begin pouting but Soarynn is on her last leg right now and gives them a knowing look, "You two have had lots of fun tonight haven't you? Staying up late is a treat," she reminds them, "now let's all go upstairs please."

Before I lose my mind, she thinks to herself once the girls give in to her request. Soarynn is thankful for Eudora who accompanies her upstairs and helps her get all the children to bed. She normally can manage it just fine but with the party right below them, things are just more difficult tonight.

Caspian goes down without a complaint, letting Soarynn kiss his head goodnight while his eyes drift shut. The girls are a different story though, still on their sugar high, jumping up and down on their bed, refusing to go down. Soarynn usually doesn't mind them being antsy before bed but she needs them to cooperate tonight, mostly because Coriolanus won't be happy if she's not downstairs soon.

"Girls," she says sternly, "I need you to lie down please."

"But we're not tired!"

"Well I am tired," she tells them, pulling back the covers, "now please get under the covers or we won't have time to read a story." That strikes a chord within the girls and they finally calm down and crawl under the covers, watching Soarynn with big eyes as she picks out an easy and short story for tonight.

She gets through the story quickly, making sure to do the voices they adore so much, and presses a kiss to each of their cheeks, "I love you both very much, have sweet dreams my darlings."

They both gaze up at her, nothing but love and adoration in their blue eyes, "Good night Mommy."

Soarynn turns off the bedside lamp and quietly pads out of the room, lingering by the doors for just a minute to actually make sure that they're asleep and not just pretending. She leaves once their breaths grow steady and she's met with Grant standing outside the doors, dutifully watching over her even in the comfort of her own home.

"Are you alright Mrs. Snow?"

Soarynn furrows her eyebrows and he shakes his head, "I was referring to the District boy approaching you."

Oh.

"I'm perfectly fine," Soarynn lies breezily, walking past him, "and I have quite a few guests to attend to."

She can tell that Grant doesn't fully believe her but it's not his job to care about her feelings, "I'll assign some Peacekeepers to stand guard outside the children's doors," he says and Soarynn nods, she feels much better knowing that the children are protected while she's busy downstairs.

"Thank you, Grant."

He still looks worried but Soarynn brushes it off, she's just tired that's all.

She's fine.

꧁ ꧂

Sometimes it feels as if the party never ends.

It's well past midnight and Soarynn just said goodbye to the last party guest. She's utterly exhausted and wants nothing more than to soak in the bathtub for a while before curling up in bed, preferably in her husband's arms.

But Coriolanus snuck away an hour after she returned from putting the children to sleep. She has no doubt that he's been discussing business all night long considering how many important men attend things like this but she wishes he wouldn't leave her alone to deal with all the guests.

She silently walks down the long hallway towards his study, figuring she'll just say goodnight now and make her way upstairs. If he wants to join her, then he knows where to find her.

When she reaches the doors to his study, she can hear several muffled voices from inside, all male and all very loud.

She softly knocks, wondering if they can even hear her over their voices but the doors open a moment later and she's looking up at a very tired-looking Quintus Heavensbee, "Good evening Mrs. Snow."

Soarynn gives him a polite nod, "Good evening Quintus. I was hoping to have a quick word with my husband before I retire for the night."

He looks back into the study and Soarynn hears a quiet conversation being had before she hears her husband's authoritative voice, "Bring her in Quintus." The trusted advisor moves to the side and Soarynn slowly walks into the study, looking around at the five men who have gathered here so late into the night. The fire is roaring and she sees several half-finished drinks sitting on the table by the sofas. They've been at it for quite some time.

Her husband's gaze is cold and calculated, a stark contrast to how it usually is when they're alone but they're not alone, they're in the company of very important men and Soarynn would do well to remember that.

"I apologize for interrupting," she says sweetly, earning her several grumbles from all the men insisting that she's not a bother at all. "Come here darling," Coriolanus calls from behind his desk, holding out a hand for her, and Soarynn can't do anything but go to him. Her hand slips into his large one and his fingers curl around it, tugging her to his side, "We heard that you were approached by the young Victor," one of the men says, his voice is weathered and warbly. He looks old.

Soarynn swallows, have they been talking about that all this time?

Coriolanus squeezes her hand, pulling Soarynn back into the present, "Yes," she answers, "yes I was."

Everyone in the room shares disgusted looks, "The nerve of him," one of them mutters, shaking his head, "he ought to be punished." Coriolanus grunts in agreement, "He mentioned putting his hands on her before I came to her rescue." It's so strange to be talked about as if she's not in the room with them.

"I think a trip to Two is exactly what needs to be done," Quintus says, resting a hand on the edge of the desk, "these people need to be reminded of who they serve, who they answer to."

Soarynn looks down at Coriolanus, his face is unreadable right now, "You're going to Two?" She asks softly, her gut churning at the thought of Coriolanus being away from her, from the children. They haven't been apart, not since Four. Coriolanus pinches the bridge of his nose, "There is a high possibility that I will be paying District Two a visit within the week," he says as if reciting from a script.

Quintus offers Soarynn a smile but she does not return it, "We were hoping you might accompany your husband if he goes, it would be just what we need to show them that the Capitol is an unshakable force."

"Yes, seeing the New First Lady by the President's side would be the perfect ploy," another man chimes in.

Soarynn feels like her head is spinning. "I um...I would have to think about it," is all she says, gripping her husband's hand even tighter to steady herself, "Ceraphina still has school and I can't just leave the children."

Everyone starts talking at once but Soarynn can't hear a word they're saying while they attempt to talk over one another, discussing possible solutions or alternatives. Soarynn pulls her hand away from Coriolanus, ignoring the look he gives her, ignoring the look they all give her as she stumbles towards the door. She can hear her name being called when she goes out into the hallway but she keeps walking until she reaches the back staircase.

Coriolanus is leaving? For how long? And why does she have to go with him?

Soarynn didn't realize she was signing up for all of this when she married Coriolanus but maybe it was written in one of the thousands of contracts she signed months ago.

If she's expected to make these appearances only for the sake of Capitol morale then was that his intention from the beginning? Did he only marry her to have a First Lady to cart around when needed?

Soarynn climbs the stairs at a rapid pace despite her heels and dress getting caught with one another. She doesn't even care about the dress or the shoes, she just wants out.

She just wants out.

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus doesn't come to bed until four o'clock in the morning when Soarynn is sound asleep. Well, she was asleep until she felt him climb into bed and pull her against him, warming her body immediately. Soarynn keeps her breaths steady while he moves around to get comfortable and remains limp when he wraps an arm around her waist, burying his face in the nape of her neck.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, pressing a gentle kiss to her tender skin, "I'm sorry for everything tonight."

Soarynn wishes she could roll over and tell him that all is forgiven but she doesn't know if it is. She needs him to apologize when they're both awake.

He can do that tomorrow morning.

Everything will be better in the morning.

꧁ ꧂

The alarm wakes the couple with a jolt. Soarynn often forgets how the day waits for no one, especially Coriolanus who is expected to treat every day like a work day, even if he threw a massive party the night before.

Coriolanus groans and his grip around her waist tightens while he kisses her shoulder, "Good morning," he mumbles.

Soarynn would never say this out loud, but she loves his voice in the morning. It's even deeper than it usually is and it's so raspy. That's probably why she enjoys morning sex the most, because his voice alone can get her off.

Soarynn doesn't know whether to give him a hard time about last night or if she should just move on and forget about it.

She decides to give him a hard time, an easy decision in her opinion.

"What was that about last night?" She asks, rolling her hips back into him. She can hear his breath hitch from her teasing actions, he's usually pent up with energy in the morning and often wakes up with a pressing problem that can be easily solved should she spread her legs for him.

"Last...last night?" He croaks out, trying to still her hips with his hand but it's no use, his cock is already hardening in his boxers and he'd rather eat glass than solve this problem on his own.

"Mhm, last night when I was spoken about as if I wasn't in the room with the rest of you," she sweetly reminds him.

Another roll of her hips miraculously jogs his memory and he lets out a quiet moan, "Oh that," he says, "yes, yes I'm so sorry about that darling. Things have just been...just been getting tense and they think it's best if I address it personally rather than from behind my desk."

Soarynn's interest is piqued and she rolls over to her stomach, teasing long forgotten as she stares into his bright blue eyes, "Coryo what's going on? You were upset before the party and you were ice cold in your study. I hardly want to be in the same room with you right now, let alone travel to District Two to show my support for you." Her words are slightly hurtful but they're truthful and he values that more than words in a pretty package.

Coriolanus looks unfairly handsome lying on his side, curls tangled and sleep still evident in his eyes. But his eyes are gentle right now, sweet and caring, looking at her as if she's the most precious thing in the world to him.

"There have been riots in Two," he says quietly, rubbing his thumb up and down the side of her hip absentmindedly, "Beckett's victory has given them hope and we can't have that. All my advisors think it's best if I go to Two to speak to the people and publically execute anyone taking part in the riots."

Soarynn shivers at his words, at how causally he mentions people being executed. She often forgets how heartless he has to be sometimes. "I didn't want you getting dragged into this," he stresses, pressing his fingers into her skin, "but when Beckett came up to you and Caspian I just...I lost control," he admits, looking down in shame, "I wanted to bring you for the sake of my pride, to show people in Two that I'll always have the last laugh. I let my pride get the best of me Soarynn, I'm sorry for everything."

Soarynn scans his blue eyes for any signs of a lie but she only finds truth and a bit of shame. "I forgive you. And I'll say it right now while we're both of sound mind and body but I'm not going with you to Two. I...I can't go to the Districts again," she whispers, painful memories flash through her mind, "even though I don't want you to go either."

Maybe in a few years, she'll gain back the courage to leave the safety of the Capitol, but not now, not when everything is still so fresh. Their marriage, the attack, the party. Soarynn knows better than to play with fire.

"Everything will be fine darling," Coriolanus assures her and he sounds so confident, so sure that everything will be fine if he leaves, "I'll tell my advisors that you can't come and that will be the end of that."

She lets out a sigh of relief, glad she won't have to leave the Capitol or the children for that matter. The holidays are right around the corner and there's so much to be done around the house. Being the official First Lady has given Soarynn access to things she couldn't dream of, including decorating the Mansion.

Soarynn leans over to press a kiss to his cheek, one he welcomes wholeheartedly while wrapping both arms around her waist and pulling her on top of him. Soarynn giggles when his lips find hers, moving in sync with one another while she rolls her hips against his in a teasing manner. He pulls away, wearing a lazy smile with his curls all tangled, "Why don't you be on top today?"

Soarynn almost falls off of him when she hears those words leave her husband's lips. Coriolanus is a man who craves control in every situation, from his children to his wife, he wants everything and everyone to do exactly as he says. Unfortunately for him, neither his children nor his wife are keen on always following his explicit rules.

To willingly let her be on top is a shock and Soarynn can't hide her expression, "Really?"

Coriolanus scoffs and his hands slide down her waist and rest on her ass, slipping his fingers under her lace panties, "Yes, really. I want to see how pretty to look sitting on my cock darling."

He has such a way with words.

Soarynn refuses to let him fluster her though and she doesn't back down from a challenge easily. Despite his past claims about her being a "pillow princess", Soarynn is sure she can manage. At least for ten minutes until she gets tired.

"Alright," she decides, lifting her hips so she can pull down his boxers far enough to take firm hold of his cock, already hard and leaking with precum. Coriolanus lets out a strangled groan from how she handles him but he's a big boy and if she can take everything he dishes to her, then he'll be just fine with what she does to him.

Soaryn has gotten well acquainted with her husband's cock over the past week, how big it feels inside of her, how it has a slight and delicious curve to it, and how he always needs to be inside of her when he finishes.

Soarynn pulls her panties to the side, seeing no point in fully undressing if she's the one in charge this morning and she teases his tip against her folds, rubbing it back and forth the same way he does it when he's on top. Coriolanus is struggling underneath her, she can tell that he's just itching to take over and do everything how he wants to do it but he holds back.

Soarynn finally lets the tip of his cock snag onto her entrance and she slowly sinks down on it, gasping at how much bigger he feels in this position. Coriolanus holds her hips gently, helping her sink down fully onto his cock and Soarynn swears that she can already see stars from how fucking deep he is inside of her. The tip of his cock is jammed against her sweet spot, making the slightest movements so very sensitive and stimulating.

"Take off your nightgown," he says breathlessly. Soarynn gives him a knowing look, if she's in charge then he's going to have to use his manners the same way she does when she's beneath him.

Coriolanus rolls his eyes but complies to her silent standards, "Take off your nightgown please my sweet darling girl who I love so very much."

Soarynn smiles and holds her chin up high, "That's better."

She pulls her nightgown over her head and tosses it to the side, baring her breasts to him while he stares up at her. "Take it slow," he advises and Soarynn is quick to squeeze her walls tightly around him, making him groan and moan, "I know," she quips, rolling her hips around to see what she likes.

Soarynn rolls her hips clockwise, then counter-clockwise, feeling how good it feels to be on top of Coriolanus who's going against everything he believes in to give her some control.

Soarynn rests a hand on his toned chest and leans forward until her hair falls over her shoulder, creating a curtain of sorts for them as she kisses him deeply, sighing when his teeth tug at her bottom lip. "You look so heavenly like this," he mumbles against her lips and she grins, "so beautiful and angelic."

Soarynn is sure that other more vulgar words could be used to describe the sight of her on top of him but she appreciates his kinder ones. Soarynn sits back up and slowly lifts her hips up before bringing them back down, gasping at how he stretches her out. Soarynn quickly finds a rhythm that suits her needs and Coriolanus is quick to sit up and wrap his arms around her waist so he can kiss her. They move in tandem with their hips, his cock drags against her walls again and again, making Soarynn whimper.

Soarynn is already growing tired but she's always had less stamina than Coriolanus who can go for hours without tiring. "Feels so good," she pants, squeezing around him, "so deep."

Coriolanus moans when she picks up the pace and one of his hands wraps around her neck, squeezing it until she feels lightheaded. Looks like he couldn't give up control for too long. Coriolanus starts pounding up into her, the sound of skin slapping and moans are all that can be heard in their bedroom. Soarynn's eyes start to roll back and she's getting closer to her peak, "Please," she whines, "please, please, please."

Coriolanus slaps her ass, "You look so perfect like this angel, stuck on my cock like the good girl you are for me hmm? Just taking whatever I give you. Wish I could keep you like this all day long."

Soarynn tries to form a proper sentence but her mind is so clouded by lust and the feeling of him inside of her that all she can do is let out a pitiful moan. Coriolanus presses sloppy kisses to her jaw, sucking on the skin while deepening his thrusts. "Cum for me Soarynn, be my good girl and cum for me." It doesn't take much more after that, Soarynn's hips are rolling like they have a mind of their own, and suddenly that wire inside of her snaps.

All she sees is white as her back arches and Coriolanus keeps fucking her. She can hear him swearing, saying more nasty things to her while he tries to reach his own peak.

Soarynn goes limp in his hold, trusting him to hold her while he fucks up into her, finally reaching his orgasm and spilling inside of her. She moans softly at the feeling of his cum getting lodged deep inside of her, just how he likes it. Soarynn rests her chin on his shoulder and simply sits there, not in a rush to start the clean-up process.

Coriolanus rubs circles on her back and whispers sweet words and compliments, rocking them back and forth. Soarynn feels so content like this which is funny because a year ago she was so focused on the kiss they shared on the train. Now he's buried deep inside of her on a quiet morning. Her eyes fall shut and she feels him slowly lay back down and pull the covers over them. They should take a shower, Ceraphina has school today and Coriolanus has work but he always makes sure to take care of her before getting out of bed.

Soarynn doesn't know how long they lie there like that, still connected. Maybe hours, maybe minutes. She's overwhelmed by the scent of roses, comforting and reassuring that all will be well so long as she has Coriolanus. He gently taps her hip and Soarynn begrudgingly lifts her head to look down at him, "What?"

He chuckles, brushing her hair out of her face, "We have to get up darling."

Soarynn pouts, she usually doesn't mind going about their routine shortly after having sex in the morning but this just feels different and she can't explain why. "I'm sore," she whines. She's not lying, she's been in a constant state of soreness since their wedding night since neither of them can get enough of the other person.

Coriolanus smirks and lifts his head to peck her lips, "You're always sore," he sweetly reminds her, "and we have to get up before the children." He, unfortunately, has a point. Soarynn grumbles before she sits up and looks down at the ungodly sight of his cock still inside of her cunt, it does something to her and makes her want to go another few rounds before leaving their bed.

Coriolanus seems to pick up on her inner thoughts and brings a hand to her clit, rubbing it with his thumb. Soarynn moans, her back arches and she ruts against him, already overstimulated, to begin with. "Coryo," she whines, trying to pull herself off of him but he's quick to pull her back down with his other hand, "I thought you liked it when I played with you darling," he says, shaking his head with false disappointment.

It had its intended effect though and Soarynn whines, "I do," she mumbles, digging her nails into her thighs, "I do like it."

Coriolanus keeps rubbing her clit and just when she thought he couldn't do anything else, he lodges a finger in her cunt, adding to the sensation of his cock still being inside of her. Soarynn almost screams from the feeling, from the now burning and aching stretch of her cunt being filled to the brim with Coriolanus Snow.

"You always take it so well," he praises, "my fingers, my cock, and now my fingers and my cock. I really did marry a little whore didn't I?"

Soarynn wants to tell him that he's wrong, that she's not a whore but he starts moving his finger inside of her and it's all too much for her. Soarynn feels a tear roll down her face and her walls start to flutter around him, a telltale sign that she's about to cum again. "I...I'm not," she croaks, unable to look away from what he's so shamelessly doing to her. Coriolanus scoffs a laugh, condescending and taunting, "You're not what doll? Not a whore? Or not taking it like you should?"

He pinches her clit and she's done for.

Soarynn cums again and this time, she feels herself shaking and she feels herself getting wetter and wetter, she might just squirt again. He'd love that, Coriolanus has been desperately trying to get her to do it again since he found out she could do it.

Soarynn folds forward, trusting him to catch her and he does, he'll always catch her.

She lays there in his hold and feels his finger slowly slip out of her cunt and hears him groan at the mess she's made, "Such a good girl," he mumbles against her head.

That's the last thing that she hears before she gives back into sleep.

꧁ ꧂

"C'mon Mommy!"

Soarynn is out of breath from climbing all the steps leading up to the Academy but Ceraphina Snow waits for no one. Her daughter is already running through the doors into the foyer of the school, looking so cute in her little uniform. "I'm coming," she calls, shouldering her purse. Today Ceraphina is presenting her family tree and Soarynn has been given the privilege of attending her presentation.

All family members are encouraged to see their children present in front of the class but due to work, Coriolanus couldn't make it. But Soarynn could and she knows how important it is to show up.

Soarynn offers a smile to anyone she passes while following Ceraphina down the hallway, she hasn't been here in years but in the past few months, it's felt like she's lived here. Maximus walks beside her, his brown hair slicked back and his face neutral as he scans the hallway, "She's been working very hard on this project," he tells her. Maximus is much more talkative than Grant is, making him the perfect fit for Ceraphina who would talk to a rock if she could.

Soarynn hums, Ceraphina hasn't stopped talking about it since they started last month. She needed photographs of all their family members and even interviewed Coriolanus to ask him questions about the Snow family lineage. Very impressive for such a young girl.

"I'm quite excited to see what she's done," Soarynn admits, really just eager to see Ceraphina interact with her classmates. Ceraphina runs into her classroom and Soarynn hears several excited shrieks from inside.

Soarynn slowly approaches the open door, peeking inside and watching as Ceraphina hugs one of her friends who has long black hair, "Today's my day for the project," she tells her friend proudly.

"Ceraphina honey, let's hang up your coat and bag remember?" Her teacher softly reminds her, resting a hand on her back. Ceraphina nods and goes over to the hooks on the wall, "My Mommy came with me today," she tells her teacher, pointing at the door. Soarynn straightens up and steps into the classroom, nodding at Mrs. McDowell whose eyes are as wide as saucers despite meeting Soarynn several times already.

Soarynn has forgotten how important she is to people now that she's married to Coriolanus.

"Madame Snow," Mrs. McDowell gushes, bowing her head in respect, "it's such an honor to have you grace our classroom this morning."

Soarynn gives the woman a kind smile, "Thank you for having me, I'm so excited to see Ceraphina's presentation." Ceraphina jumps up and down, overcome with excitement, "Can I show her my desk, Mrs. McDowell? Can I? Can I?"

Mrs. McDowell keeps her gaze on Soarynn but answers Ceraphina, "Of course, you can honey."

Ceraphina runs over and takes Soarynn's hand, dragging her into the classroom towards all of the tiny desks. Soarynn can't get enough of how tiny everything is. The desks, the children, the school supplies. It's so adorable. "This is my desk Mommy," Ceraphina proudly tells her, resting a hand on the small desk, "I keep my crayons and pencils in here."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows, very impressed, "Well aren't you fancy? Crayons and pencils?" Ceraphina giggles and pulls Soarynn towards the front of the room where there's a chalkboard along with a bookshelf tucked in the corner, "This is our class pet, Mr. Bubbles!"

Soarynn crouches down to look at the bottom shelf and is genuinely surprised to find a goldfish swimming around in a tank, "He wasn't here when we came to the open house," Soarynn murmurs, knowing she'd remember if they had a class pet. Coriolanus on the other hand, can barely remember the teacher's name.

"We got him because we were very well-behaved," Ceraphina says matter-of-factly, wearing a proud smile on her face, "and I get to feed him this week because that's my class chore." Ceraphina points at the chalkboard and Soarynn looks over to see that there's a list of class chores scrawled across the board with the students' names written under the tasks. The line leader, feeding Mr. Bubbles, turning off the lights, passing out papers.

"How responsible of all of you." Soarynn wonders where this enthusiasm for chores goes when Ceraphian returns home and doesn't want to make her bed.

More students file into the classroom and Soarynn stands by the bookshelf, simply observing her daughter while she interacts with everyone. She hugs the girls but stays far away from the boys, something Coriolanus would be proud of. One of the girls, the girl with the black hair slowly approaches Soarynn with a wary look in her eyes, "Are you Ceraphina's Mommy?"

Soarynn nods, bending down to be at eye level with the child, "I am her mother," she confirms, "what's your name?" The girl offers Soarynn a sweet smile and clasps her hands, "Diamond." How precious. Soarynn holds out her hand, "Pleased to meet you, Diamond."

Diamond gently shakes her hand, scanning Soarynn's face which leads her to worry if she covered all of the marks Coriolanus gave her properly, "You're prettier than on television," Diamond tells her.

Soarynn withholds her sigh of relief and chuckles, "Well, thank you, that's very kind."

"Alright children, let's find our seats so we can listen to the morning announcements," Mrs. McDowell says with a clap of her hands. Diamond scurries back to her desk, right next to Ceraphina's and the girls start whispering about something, their eyes flitting to Soarynn every once in a while. Soarynn grins, remembering when she was that young and amazed by everything grown-ups did.

Soarynn stands back up and listens as the intercom crackles and the announcements begin. Most of them are mundane things like what will be served for lunch and what sports will be conducting practice after school for the older children. The children to their credit, listen attentively while Mrs. McDowell passes out papers to each of them.

Once the announcements commence, Mrs. McDowell comes to stand next to Soarynn, a bright smile on her face, "Today Ceraphina will be presenting her family tree project and the First Lady has so graciously taken the time out of her very busy day to join us."

All of the children softly gasp except for Ceraphina who kicks her feet in anticipation, "Now let's give Ceraphina our full attention while she shows us her family tree." Ceraphina slides out from behind her desk, skipping to the front to stand by Soarynn, "You can sit at my desk if you want Mommy," she whispers.

Soarynn eyes the very tiny seat that has been offered up to her, "That's very generous of you darling." Ceraphina looks up expectantly at her, clearly waiting for Soarynn to sit down so she does just that. It's a bit awkward sitting in such a small chair but Soarynn manages to do it although her knees are almost pulled up to her chest. It's a good thing she wore a long dress today.

Ceraphina nods in approval and turns to the chalkboard where Mrs. McDowell is hanging a large poster of sorts. Soarynn's eyes widen when she finally sees the family tree that Ceraphina has created and it's a very big family tree.

Ceraphina turns to face the class and clears her throat, "Good morning, my name is Ceraphina Snow and today I will be showing my family tree. Family trees are important because they help us keep track of our ance..." Her voice dies off and she glances over at Mrs. McDowell who gives her an encouraging nod, "'Cause it helps us keep track of our ancestors who are people that lived before us," Ceraphina finishes with a satisfying grin.

"My family tree has three sides, my Daddy's side," she points at a handsome photograph of Coriolanus, "my Mommy's side," she points at the photograph of Soarynn, "and my other Mommy's side," she says, touching a photograph of Livia. "My other Mommy isn't here anymore but now we have a new one because she married my Daddy," she explains, looking around the room to make sure everyone is following.

"My Daddy's parents got married and then they had him," Ceraphina points even further up the tree at two smaller photos of a Crassus Snow and his wife, "then he got married to my other Mommy," she drags her finger to Livia's photograph. "Her parents got married and had her. My Mommy and Daddy got married and they had me," Ceraphina points at herself, "my little sister Celeste and my little brother Caspian."

Soarynn follows the lines all the way down to the children's photographs and can't help but notice how cute they all look.

"But then, my Mommy got sick," Ceraphina says dramatically, pulling gasps from the children who most likely don't remember Livia, "so she died and we buried her in the ground." Soarynn looks around at the children's forlorn faces and Ceraphina bounces on her toes, "But then we got a new Mommy!"

Everyone perks up at her words, "My Daddy married my new Mommy, whose parents had her," she stands on her tiptoes and points at the photographs of Glen and Cera Nightingale, "and now we're all one big family."

Diamond lets out a relieved sigh as if this is a television show and not real life, "Over here I have other members of my family even though we aren't really related," Ceraphina says with a shrug, "I have Petunia who's our cat, then Eudora who tells my Daddy what to do and where to go." Soarynn has to cover her laugh with a cough, "We also have our bodyguards who keep us safe, Maximus and Grant. And that is my family tree!"

Ceraphina does a dramatic curtsy and everyone begins clapping including Soarynn. "Well done Ceraphina," Mrs. McDowell praises, "family trees are important because not all families are the same," she explains to the class, "they come in all different sizes."

Soarynn nods along to her words, they certainly do. The Snow family seems to be quite a set of wild cards but she wouldn't have it any other way. Not when it gave her the sweet little girl in front of her.

꧁ ꧂

It's only eleven o'clock in the morning but Soarynn is already tired. She blames it on the morning sex.

She's greeted by Eudora the second she steps inside, "How was Ceraphina's family tree presentation?" Soarynn takes off her coat and hands it to the Avox waiting to take her things, "It was adorable, " she tells the older woman, "she had photos of you and Petunia."

Speaking of Petunia, a white blur trots towards Soarynn and she grins, "Why hello little lady, looks like you finally decided to wake up hmm?"

Petunia is hardly affected by Coriolanus and Soarynn's active sex life. She has a very nice, comfortable cat bed that she sleeps in while her humans roll around in the sheets and she's never been afraid to sleep in.

Petunia purrs, rubbing her body against Soarynn's boots she chose to wear today, "No one has arrived yet for the lady's luncheon," Eudora informs her as they begin walking down the great hall, "two women had to cancel last minute and the table's already been set." Soarynn nods along to her words, running through the guest list for today's lady's luncheon. While Coriolanus deals with the elite men of the Capitol, Soarynn deals with the women.

Coriolanus has it much easier in her opinion.

Men are simple creatures with simple wants and needs. Women, on the other hand, are very complicated creatures who run off of emotions and Soarynn has dealt with a lot of emotions from different women this past week. She's attended a handful of social events since becoming First Lady and she's dealt with the three same things at every single one: drama, gossip, and tears.

Soarynn does her best to remain removed from any drama or gossip as it would taint her image along with her husband's image as well and she can't have that. She also just doesn't care for the frills of the elite social life the way other women do. Soarynn would much rather be curled up in the library with her children than at some gallery staring at white canvases with a single black dot in the middle.

She's voiced these feelings to Coriolanus who's simply said that her way of thinking is a rare thing to cherish in a world of gossiping, backstabbing women who never grew out of their schoolgirl days. He certainly has a blunt way of putting things.

"Where are the children?" Soarynn asks, ignoring any new updates for today's schedule. She's anxious to have her darlings back in her hold before she has to go host this luncheon and seeing all the adorable children in Ceraphina's class has only led her to want to have at least six more children. Coriolanus shouldn't mind and Soarynn would be more than happy to endure the pregnancies.

"In the playroom dear, oh, and the results from all of your testing finally came back," Eudora tells her, steering them towards the sitting room she does most of her work in. Soarynn focuses on the file sitting on the coffee table, the file that holds all the results from the various tests she and Coriolanus had to do before getting married.

Eudora bends down and grabs the file, holding it out to Soarynn, "Go over it when you have a minute or two. There shouldn't be anything amiss."

Soarynn hums and takes the file between her fingers, fighting the urge to sit down and read all of the results between her and her husband right now but she resists the urge. She has to see the children first. "I'm going to go see the children and freshen up before lunch," she tells Eudora, already making her way out of the sitting room.

Soarynn takes the back staircase and Petunia ends up joining her in climbing up all the stairs, "I should really start taking the elevator," Soarynn mumbles to herself. Coriolanus has mentioned the elevator before but she's never used it. She can hear Celeste and Caspian from down the hallway, giggling while they play together.

The first few days of Ceraphina going to school had been an adjustment, to say the least for everyone. Celeste had lost her partner in crime and Caspian suddenly was given a lot more attention by Celeste than he was used to. Caspian prefers to play by himself, building up his blocks, playing with his stuffed animals quietly in the corner while Ceraphina and Celeste go do whatever it is that they do.

To have Ceraphina gone was like missing a limb.

Soarynn often found herself turning to say something to her eldest daughter only to realize that she was at school and not by her side. Spending every waking moment with her children was a double-edged sword it seemed. She got to cherish every moment with them, every milestone. But those milestones meant they were growing up, getting too big to need help like they used to.

But she still has time with them and she can always have more children which will mean more time with them.

At least that's what she tells herself before walking into the playroom where Celeste and Caspian are busy building a tower out of their blocks. Celeste notices Soarynn first and perks up, a giant smile growing across her face, "Mommy!"

She almost sends their tower to the ground when she stands up and runs over to Soarynn, throwing her arms around Soarynn's legs. Soarynn chuckles, resting a loving hand on top of Celeste's curls, "Hello my darling. Did you two miss me?"

Caspian remains in his spot on the floor and nods, "Yes," he says, nodding his head, "Momma come play."

Well, she can't say no to that.

Celeste beams up at her and takes notice of the file in Soarynn's hand, "What's that Mommy?"

Soarynn shakes her head, "Just some paperwork darling."

She follows Celeste back over to the tower they're building and makes herself comfortable on the floor in between the children, asking them about this very impressive tower they're building.

"A princess lives inside of the tower," Celeste tells her matter-of-factly. Caspian adds another block to the base of the tower, "Lion." Celeste nods, "And a lion lives there too, they live together and the lion protects the princess 'cause there's a witch who wants..."

Soarynn smiles fondly while Celeste continues to explain the lore of the tower. She could say whatever she wanted and Soarynn would still find herself nodding along to her words, so enamored by the sweet girl.

Soarynn's eyes, unfortunately, drift back to the file sitting on the floor and she can't help but pick it up again and open it this time, scanning over the pages. Most of it is talking about things she doesn't really care about like her height and weight, how much muscle mass Coriolanus has. She's sure he'll spend hours reading over this when she gives it to him.

She flips to the next page, scanning over all of their blood work which seems to be normal thank goodness. She's sure that the doctor could explain it better in more detail to her if she asked him to. Soarynn turns to the next page and her eyes drop to the bottom of the page where she sees three words in bold.

Fertility Test Results

Her heart starts racing and she brings a shaky finger to the page, resting it on the words that hold her entire future.

She reads the next two lines.

Coriolanus Snow - Fertile Soarynn Nightingale - Infertile

Infertile.

Infertile?

Soarynn can't stop the sharp gasp from leaving her lips while she reads those words over and over again. This can't be, there must be some mistake. There's no way that she's infertile. She's so young, she has so much life ahead of her and yet she's incapable of creating it.

They must've mistyped this, Coriolanus will be sure to fire whoever is responsible for this. Oh, Coriolanus. How will she tell him? And what if she really is infertile?

Soarynn feels as if all of her hopes and dreams have been dashed from her before she could even start thinking about them. She can't have any children. She can't get pregnant no matter how much she tries.

Soarynn blinks back tears, she can't afford to cry right now, not in front of the children who remain oblivious to her internal dilemma.

"Soarynn dear, the ladies are beginning to arrive," Eudora says, knocking on the playroom doors. Celeste looks up at Soarynn with furrowed brows, "What's wrong Mommy? Why do you look so sad?" Soarynn has forgotten how perceptive the children can be, especially Celeste who's always worn her heart on her sleeve just like Soarynn.

Soarynn presses a smile to her lips and gently pats Celeste's cheek, "Nothing's wrong darling, I'm perfectly fine," she lies. Even though she's not. She's not fine, she's devastated.

But she has things to do, people to attend to, children to take care of.

"I'm going to go downstairs and have lunch with some very important ladies and after that, we can go pick up your sister from school okay?" She might as well treat today like a normal day for the sake of the children, and her sanity.

Celeste and Caspian nod, "Will you tell us about Ceraphina's project?" Celeste asks, grabbing onto Soarynn's arm. Celeste and Caspian had been very fascinated by the family tree project and offered their help to Ceraphina several times while she politely declined their offers. Soarynn debated taking them to the presentations today but decided against it after Coriolanus said they'd probably get antsy.

"I will," Soarynn confirms, swiftly placing a kiss on top of Celeste's head before leaning over to do the same with Caspian, "I'll be back soon okay?"

After making sure the children are okay, Soarynn follows Eudora down the hall towards the grand staircase, a million thoughts running through her mind. Coriolanus had said that he’s more than happy with the children they already have but Soarynn so badly wanted to get pregnant, to carry a little baby inside of her and then give birth. She wasn’t there for when the children were babies and there’s not enough photos that can make up for that.

She wanted her own baby and she doesn’t care how bad that sounds.

“…so don’t mention that to her and are you alright dear?” Soarynn nearly runs into Eudora who looks very concerned for Soarynn’s wellbeing, “Oh, I’m fine,” Soarynn waves her off, “just a bit hungry so I suppose it’s good that we’re about to eat.”

Soarynn can tell that Eudora doesn’t believe a word she says but she doesn’t push her which is greatly appreciated. Soarynn can already hear the excited chatter from the women downstairs, it’s not every day you get invited to have lunch in the President’s Mansion.

Soarynn can’t ruin this for them, not if she values her reputation as the ever-so-kind and gracious First Lady.

No, she’ll have to push through, wait until tonight when she can tell Coriolanus the devastating news.

After all, she’s done it before and she can do it again.

꧁ ꧂

“Such a beautiful family portrait,” Mrs. Heavensbee comments as they walk down the great hall. Lunch felt like the longest lunch Soarynn had ever been to.

It was filled with surface-level conversations and to no one’s surprise, gossip and drama. Soarynn was rather quiet at lunch and she hopes that no one took offense to it.

She looks up at the large portrait that now hangs on the wall, the same wall that was occupied by the portrait that had Livia in it.

This one looks a little bit different.

Coriolanus looks tremendously handsome in his black suit with his arm wrapped around Soarynn’s waist while she wears a beautiful red dress that drapes on the floor. The children sit in front of them on a decorative bench with Petunia in Ceraphina’s lap.

Getting Coriolanus to agree to let Petunia be in the official portrait was like pulling teeth but Soarynn luckily knew his weaknesses. After a few blow jobs, he would’ve agreed to anything.

“Thank you,” she says, allowing herself a genuine smile at the compliment, “we were quite pleased with how it turned out.”

They had it done the day she and Coriolanus got back from their honeymoon. There had been lots of whining from the children who didn’t want to sit still for that long and lots of lethal glares from Coriolanus who didn’t like whining children.

Soarynn played the Peacekeeper for the afternoon, soothing over hurt feelings from both sides and they managed to get what they needed which was all that really mattered.

“Do you have any plans for more children?”

That question cuts deep into Soarynn’s heart. She can’t cry now, not when she’s so close to getting all of these women out of her house. She simply shakes her head, “We haven’t discussed it yet,” she lies, acting nonchalant, “we already have three perfect children.” That part isn’t a lie.

Mrs. Heavensbee hums, she’s the perfect fit for her husband, both of them are somewhat reserved but very passionate when they want to be. She has two children of her own, Perlina and Plutarch who are in Ceraphina’s class.

“It was wonderful having you ladies,” Soarynn says, turning to face the rest of the group.

It really wasn’t but she’ll keep that to herself.

The women shower her with compliments about today's lunch and of course, her wedding. Even though it's been over a week since she got married, Soarynn is still asked about it. She'll have to start writing thank you cards for everyone who attended, heaven knows she'll be busy with that.

She makes sure everyone is in a car and on their way out before she allows herself to feel miserable again. How can she be unable to have children? Is this some sort of genetic thing? Is there a pill that she can take to fix it?

Marrying the President means having access to every procedure, pill, and doctor in all of Panem. If there's a way to fix this, Coriolanus will find it.

At least that's what she tells herself.

꧁ ꧂

Watching Capitol children spill out of the Academy building is not Soarynn's idea of a perfect afternoon but the children always get so excited to accompany Soarynn when she goes to pick up Ceraphina. She could hardly deny them of this small joy, even if she herself wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Oh, I see her! I see her Mommy!"

Celeste jumps up and down while holding Soarynn's hand, eager to reunite with her big sister. Soarynn had given up on trying to place Ceraphina in such a large crowd of children, instead, she searched for her bodyguard Maximus who was heads above even the tallest Academy student. And sure enough, she finds him and Ceraphina is right in front of him, her hair blonde as ever.

"School," Caspian says, pointing at the building. Soarynn hums, Caspian has been more talkative lately and she couldn't be happier. She and Coriolanus had spoken with several child behaviorists who said that the reason for his quietness was due to the fact that his mother died when he was still attached to her. Livia's death hindered his speech but now that he had a constant motherly figure in his life, Soarynn, he'd start talking more and more.

The man assured the couple that Caspian would be talking just like his sisters by the time he started going to school.

"That's right darling," Soarynn nods, "one day you'll go to school with your big sisters." Celeste pulls on Soaryn's hand, "When do I get to start ballet lessons?"

Coriolanus had decided that he wanted to enroll the girls in some sort of extracurricular activity in the new year. Soarynn had suggested lots of things such as painting, and singing, but dancing was something he and the girls both agreed on. The girls were enamored by the ballerinas they saw in their beautiful costumes.

They'd start in January but Celeste struggled to understand the concept of time. She just wanted to wear the slippers and tutu.

"In January darling," Soarynn tells her, "so in about a month."

"Can we go ride Snowflake when we get home?"

"Of course, we can sweetheart."

With the riding lessons, piano lessons, and now ballet lessons, Soarynn was bound to have her hands full getting the girls from one place to another. Coriolanus had suggested they hire a nanny and Soarynn nearly suggested that he go for a long walk outside.

She was the nanny. Now she was the children's mother. They didn't need a nanny when they had her.

No matter how thin she'd be spread, she refused to look into hiring a nanny. It was out of the question.

꧁ ꧂

"Go Snowflake go!"

Soarynn chuckles while Ceraphina tries to get Snowflake to pick up the pace but he's been trained to trot inside of the paddock, not gallop. "Take it slow darling," she calls out, "you don't want to wear him out."

It's a cold day in November, one of the last ones before they step into December which means lots of holiday events to attend. But today isn't windy which makes being outside much more bearable. Soarynn had bundled herself and the children in thick, warm coats with mittens and gloves to match. She didn't want anyone getting sick before such a busy month.

She shivers when remembering the time that Ceraphina got sick from a classmate at school and gave it to Celeste and Caspian. It had been a rough week in the Snow household. Coriolanus had practically barricaded himself in his study, claiming he couldn't afford to get sick.

Soarynn had rolled her eyes when he said that, men were so dramatic when it came down to getting sick, acting as if their arms had been cut off.

"Mommy, why is the sky gray?"

Soarynn looks up at the cloudy gray sky, it's been gloomy all day, just like her mood. "It's probably going to snow darling," she says to Celeste, "or rain."

"Are we gonna have dinner with Daddy tonight?"

Soarynn shakes her head and gives Celeste a small smile, "No sweetheart, we have dinner with him on Sundays, remember?"

After asking her to marry him, Coriolanus unknowingly exposed himself to a new lifestyle and routine now that Soarynn was here to stay. That lifestyle included having dinner as a family once a week. She wasn't unrealistic, asking him to have dinner with them every night was impossible with his busy schedule but on Sunday nights, no matter how busy he was, they all had dinner together.

The children loved it. They missed having dinner with their father so to see him for breakfast and dinner was a treat as special as any. Soarynn secretly hoped that one day he might take all of Sunday off to spend it with them but she was taking it slow, baby steps were necessary with a man like Coriolanus who despises lack of control or change.

"Oh, sorry I forgot," Celeste mumbles. Soarynn feels a frown tugging her lips down and she crouches down so that she's at eye-level with Celeste, "There's no need to apologize, Celeste, it was an honest mistake."

She reaches out to hold Celeste's face in her hand, rubbing her thumb over the child's cheek, "But I was thinking that tonight we might make dinner extra special by having breakfast for dinner."

Celeste gasps, her bright blue eyes wide as saucers, "We can do that?" Soarynn laughs, she's never done it before herself but it sounds like a fun idea, something to spice things up from their normal routine. "We sure can," she answers, "we can have waffles and pancakes, and all your favorite things."

Caspain butts in after hearing about the possibility of pancakes, his favorite breakfast food, "Panacakes?" Soarynn and Celeste giggle, "Yes sweet boy, we can have pancakes."

Celeste runs over to the paddock gate and grabs onto it, "Ceraphina! We're gonna have breakfast for dinner tonight! Mommy says so!"

Ceraphina pulls on the reigns, bringing Snowflake to a halt, "Really?" She asks, her voice doubtful. Being the oldest means she's grown to expect promises to be broken, mainly by her father who struggled to keep his word while trying to put their broken family back together.

Soarynn stands back up, a determined look on her face, "Really," she nods, "it'll be fun."

Ceraphina grins, "Okay!"

Soarynn might still feel sorry for herself but she'd never let that get in the way of the children she has right now, children she won't ever take for granted.

꧁ ꧂

Everything was going great until Ceraphina and Celeste asked how they were born.

Which was something Soarynn had limited knowledge of for a number of reasons. She hadn't been working for the Snows when the girls were born and even if she was, she certainly wouldn't have been there for the birth. But that didn't stop the girls from asking more questions about giving birth which to her luck, led to questions about being pregnant.

It was like a stab to the heart.

She answered all of their questions calmly and patiently before kissing them goodnight and promising to see them tomorrow. Only when she closed the doors behind her did the tears start to form in her eyes.

It just wasn't fair, wasn't fair that she couldn't get pregnant.

Since she could remember she's always wanted to be a mother, to have a baby and raise it as her own.

But she can't. She can't and her head hurts and she's tired and all she wants in the whole wide world right now is her husband. She slips off her heels before trudging downstairs to his study. She doesn't know how she'll tell him, how she'll apologize for not being a good wife, the wife fit for a Snow.

She vowed to bear any children he'd gift to her and she already broke it.

A few tears roll down her cheeks as she finally reaches the doors that lead to his study. She raises her fist to knock but stops when she hears voices inside. He's busy, probably in a meeting. Should she knock, she'll be told that he's busy and she can't let anyone see her like this. No, she'll just wait.

She sits on the small, decorative sofa that sits right outside of his study, pressed against the wall under a portrait of his father, Crassus Xanthos Snow. She looks up at it for a moment, he looks stern, commanding, she can see where Coriolanus got it from. She wonders if this man would see her as a good fit for his son.

Probably not.

Soarynn sits there for what feels like hours, watching the moon through the large windows across from her. She should just go to bed and tell him in the morning but Soarynn can't bear to carry this burden any longer.

She's about to fall asleep when she hears the doors to his study open accompanied by several men grumbling among one another. She slowly pushes herself to her feet, in no rush to face her humiliation. One of the men finally looks in her direction and clears his throat, bowing at the waist, "Madame Snow."

Soarynn musters up a graceful smile when the other man takes notice of her as well and does the same thing, paying their respects. Quintus is the last one out and he looks more concerned than surprised to see her lingering outside her husband's study so late at night.

"Our meeting ran a bit longer," he explains, "we do hate to keep you from your husband this late into the night." Soarynn shakes her head, she doesn't even care at this point, "It's quite alright. Have a good night Quintus."

Rarely does she ever dismiss anyone in her house but she wants to be alone with Coriolanus. She doesn't need spectators.

Quintus thankfully picks up on this and nods, "Good night Madame Snow."

Soarynn watches him walk down the long hallway, chatting with the others as if there's anything left to talk about in this world before she walks into the empty study. Coriolanus is sitting by the fireplace, deep in thought from the looks of it. He merely tilts his head in her direction, "Did you leave something behind?"

Soarynn quietly closes the doors behind her, she doesn't even want the Avoxes to hear her. "It's me," she whispers.

Coriolanus finally looks over at her and his stern expression melts off immediately, "Darling, I thought you'd be in bed at this hour." Soarynn shrugs and forces herself not to cry, "I'm not," is all she says.

Coriolanus reaches a hand out, silently asking her to come to him and she does, slower than usual but she feels like she's been chained to the ground. The moment her fingers find his, he's pulling her into his lap, resting her thighs over his and wrapping an arm around her waist. It's the type of gentleness she needs right now.

Coriolanus kisses her cheek, the smell of roses lingers around him at all hours of the day, "How was your day hmm? Did Ceraphina's presentation go well?"

Soarynn thinks back to this morning, it feels like a hundred years ago. She remembers the family tree, how under Coriolanus and Livia's name were the names of their children.

There will be no names under hers.

"It was good," she whispers, watching the fire crackle with the firewood. Coriolanus gently rests a hand on her cheek, making her look at him, "Soarynn, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Soarynn gasps, the floodgates are wide open now. "I can't," she cries, tears spilling down her cheeks in an instant, "I can't and I've broken my vows."

she can see how conflicted and confused he is by her words, "You broke...you broke your vows? How? Darling, tell me what happened and we'll make it right."

Soarynn shakes her head, she's sobbing now, "We can't. We can't have children together."

She watches through tears as Coriolanus tries to understand her, "The results," she gasps, "I can't get pregnant."

Soarynn wants to die, she wants to close her eyes and never wake up. The stress of the wedding, of becoming First Lady, of being the perfect wife and mother has all crashed down on her all at once.

She can see how heartbroken he is, even if he tries to hide it. She knows how badly he would've loved for them to have more children together.

Soarynn buries her face in his shirt, staining it with her tears and mascara no doubt but she doesn't care right now. She feels him cradling her head, murmuring words that she doesn't care to hear right now.

She just wants to sleep and wake up to realize that this was all a bad dream.

It's all a bad dream.

꧁ ꧂

"...test results were negative..."

"...doctors can't do anything..."

"... she's heartbroken..."

"...could always go the surrogate route..."

꧁ ꧂

When Soarynn wakes up, she's in her bedroom.

The lights are dim and her mouth is dry.

Soarynn slowly sits up, groaning at her stiff limbs, she ought to start stretching before going to bed each night.

Soarynn looks over at her bedside table and sees a glass of water and two red pills next to it, no explanation as to what they'll do. She takes the water but not the pills.

Coriolanus isn't in bed but she can see the bathroom light is on. A meow comes from the floor and Soarynn cranes her neck to see Petunia looking up at her, tail bushy and ears perked. Soarynn pats the space next to her and Petunia expertly leaps onto the bed, immediately climbing into Soarynn's lap. She absentmindedly pets her soft fur, wondering what time it is, if Coriolanus is going to file for divorce. She vaguely remembers hearing his voice along with Eudora's but she doesn't exactly remember what they said.

"Oh, Petunia," she sighs, "I just got everything I ever wanted and now I'm back to where I started."

She hears a snort come from the bathroom and looks over to find Coriolanus standing in the doorway, shirtless, wearing only his boxers and an amused expression on his face. "If I recall, you started as a single, childless, quiet woman with no living family besides that cat," he says calmly, "have we already come full circle?"

Soarynn blushes and looks down, she was just being dramatic but he has a point, "No," she mumbles, "I have more than I could ever dream of." And she does. She has a husband who loves her, children who adore her, a beautiful home to call her own, food, water, all the clothes she could want, and then some. She's the luckiest woman in Panem and here she is throwing herself a pity party.

Coriolanus pads over to her side of the bed, gently sitting down next to her, "Darling," he reaches out and brushes some of her hair behind her ear, "I read over all the test results."

Soarynn looks up at him, eager to hear that it was wrong, that she misread something. He sighs, "The results were correct, you're infertile and can't get pregnant no matter what we do."

Her entire body deflates, she's gutted all over again. She had held onto a sliver of hope that maybe he'd find a way to fix this but not even Coriolanus Snow could help her. "Oh," she says glumly, "there's not...there's not like a surgery or a shot I could get?" She gives him a hopeful, desperate look but he can only return it with a sad smile, "My love, there's nothing we can do. I called the doctor and we went over every possible option. Anything we could remotely try would either lead to your death or the baby's death and I won't ever risk that."

Soarynn feels angry at him even though he's completely justified in his reasoning. Would she risk her life for her child's life? Absolutely. But could she handle losing her baby? No, she'd be devastated.

"I just really wanted it," she whispers, her voice breaks but as long as he's here then she'll be okay, "I just really wanted to have another baby." Coriolanus wraps an arm around her, comforting her in her lowest moments as he vowed to do, "I did too," he tells her softly, "but Soarynn, you can't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong. The doctor suspects it might be genetic, think of your own mother and what happened to her. Even she struggled to get pregnant if I recall."

Her breath catches in her throat she hadn't even thought of it like that but he's right. Perhaps the same fate fell onto her own mother but she was able to get pregnant. Except she didn't survive. Only Soarynn did, leaving her father alone and she knows that Coriolanus will be damned if he's left alone again.

Even if it means that his wife will be miserable for the rest of their lives, she knows he'll take that chance over anything else any day.

"Livia struggled too," he whispers, "she...she almost lost Ceraphina midway through the pregnancy. And my own mother died trying to give birth to my little sister. We've suffered from enough tragedy at the hands of childbirth for a lifetime darling, we have three beautiful children who are just down the hall so I think we should make the most of it, don't you?"

Soarynn sniffles, wiping away any last tears before looking up at him, "I do," she says, "I want to make the most of it, even if I'll always think about what could've been." Coriolanus hums, pressing a kiss to her temple, "I know you would've been good, a good mother to our new baby but we can't get caught in the past, trust me I know."

Soarynn nods, Coriolanus refuses to linger in the past, marrying her is a clear testament to that belief.

She leans into his hold, feeling safe and above all, loved once again despite her flaws, "I love you," she says.

He tightens his grip on her, "In sickness and in health darling, I'll always love you."

Always is such a sweet promise to make.

꧁ ꧂

꧁ One Year Later ꧂

"Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to sit down with us Madame Snow."

Soarynn smiles warmly at the interviewer, "Please, call me Soarynn."

She's gotten used to living in the spotlight, being questioned for every little thing she does but Soarynn is happy with this life she's chosen. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Alright, Soarynn, your husband just won the election, what was it like to be by his side in such a tense few months?"

Soarynn remembers the months leading up to the election, how stressed Coriolanus had been, how many meetings and interviews he conducted. He won it by a landslide but still, he had been so worried. Soarynn did what she did best, she comforted him, reassured him that he'd win, and did her best to spread her own influence amongst the people of the Capitol.

Since marrying Coriolanus, she's been adored by the Capitol, widely known as the 'Captiol's Darling' due to how many people love her.

"It was a testament to our marriage," she answers, "I vowed to stand by him no matter what, win or lose and I did. To see him do what he does best fulfills me, it fulfills our family."

The interviewer nods, "How did you come to know President Snow?"

Soarynn finds it almost strange to think back to the time when she barely knew Coriolanus, when she worked for him, and worried that she'd lose the children every day.

"I was employed by the Snow family following Livia Snow's death," she tells the woman, "Coriolanus and I got to know each other and the rest is history."

The woman hums, jotting down some notes, "If you don't mind me asking, what was your job under the Snow family? Were you an assistant to President Snow?"

Soarynn smiles, she's forgotten how many people are unaware of how she came to know the people she loves so dearly in her heart. She often wonders what her life would be like if she never applied for the position, if she never got hired, if she never let herself and her walls down around Coriolanus.

She shakes her head, she doesn't mind at all. She sits up straight and proud, knowing that she carries the Snow name and its legacy.

"I was the nanny."

| Part 14. | Final Part |

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[imagineanime2022]

The Variable *Part 3*

Caspian Keyes X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4685

Requested: @itzkatsbg @kalebell46 @twilight5139

Request: I NEED A PART 3 AND Miss ma'am we need a full series AND part three pls I'm begging

*Part 2*

Caspian was gentle when he shook you awake, he hated doing it but he wanted to leave and he wasn’t going to leave you behind, no matter how badly he wanted to get out of there. “Hey.” He said softly brushing his thumb across your face as you started to frown, an indication that you were waking up. “What’s wrong?” You asked sitting up, his arms braced on either side of you to make sure that you didn’t topple over. “We have to go.” He smiled when you didn’t question him, only stood ready to follow him anywhere. As you both made your way up the stairs towards the front door Maddie attempted to stop you both from leaving, Caspian was able to shoulder past her easily given his height but she caught your wrist before you could get too far out of the door. “Wait, Caspian wait!” She called grip on you tightening as if holding you hostage. “Maddie let me go.” You said as you looked at her. “Where are you going!?” She asked. “Somewhere that my reality doesn’t blow up every 6 hours!” Caspian answered his hand slamming down on the car roof as he turned back to her, his eyes lingering on her hand wrapped around your wrist before travelling to your face, he didn’t see any signs of distress even still he gave a look that promised he would get you away from her if you asked him too.

“It’s the same reality, you're a part of it, you're here for a reason!” Maddie argued. “A reason? The Caspian project? I didn’t ask for that.” Caspian argued. “I know.” “I didn’t want that.” Caspian continued, you reached out from where you were between them and squeezed his hand in reassurance. “No one asks to be born.” Maddie argued her hand falling from your wrist, Caspian took the opportunity to pull you towards him opening the door ushering you in to climb over the centre console to the passenger side. “Well they do now, there are probably a bunch of crazies all raising their hands to be born again into the cloud.” Caspian climbed into the car after you, pulling on his seat belt and starting the car. “What are you going to do?” Maddie asked. “Enjoy the rest of the world while it lasts, I give us a month.” Caspian answered before his hand found its way around the back of the passenger seat to reverse out of the driveway and leave. “Any idea where you're going or are we just going?” You asked. “Just going.” He answered. “Are you okay?” “Me? Fine. She had a strong grip but it was nothing to worry about.” You dismissed the worry easily but he didn’t seem convinced instead pulling over for a second to catch the wrist that you had animatedly been waving him off with. He pulled it over the centre console to look at it properly, the skin was red but otherwise seemed okay. “Satisfied?” “Mm.” He hummed letting go of your wrist and starting to drive again. “We’re going to have to get rid of the car if you're serious about no one finding you.” You said as you looked out the window. “Yeah I know.” He said “There are other ways to get around.” “Oh I know, I thought about running away a lot after my parents left.” You admitted hand drumming against your thigh. “What stopped you?” He asked. “You.” Your eyes travelled to him, he’s eyes stayed on the road but you could tell that he was listening “I felt so lonely after my parents left, I wondered why they had left me there, was it something that I did? Was it something that I could do again if given enough time? I thought about running away because if no one was around then I couldn’t be abandoned again right?” You pulled your knees up to your chest as you rested your cheek against them “but then I remembered that I was one of the only people that you had and I never wanted you to feel like that, alone and confused. So I never left and I’ve never been happier with a decision in my life.” “Thank you for staying.” Caspian said after a moment of silence. “Trust me when I say you have helped me probably more than I have helped you.” you mumbled into your knees. “I don’t think that will ever be something that we agree on.” He reached out squeezing your knee.

You eventually found somewhere to ditch the car and jumped on a train, you didn’t even know where it was going, you just knew that it would take you away from Sacramento, once we were settled in one of the carriages “you should get some sleep.” You suggested your arm moving to wrap around his shoulder pulling him to lean against you. “I-” “You haven’t slept since we left home, you need to sleep, I’ll wake you when we need to get off.” You said softly as you started running your hands through his hair. “Are you-?” “Yes I’m sure.” You said softly as you waited for him to relax, you realised that he held onto you quite protectively even when he was sleeping, his arms wrapped around your waist as he basically curled his whole 6ft form around your body. As if his body would be the tripwire that woke his brain if anyone got too close. You spent more of the train journey trying not to move even as the ache set in hoping that he would grab as much sleep as he could. He woke up long before you got to where you needed to go, you both jumped off of the train at Kansas city, it took some walking but Caspian overheard someone talking at a convent and it was an easy choice from there. A place that asked no questions and didn’t even need to know your real name. You stayed.

You both fell into a routine, Caspian got ready to teach the teens maths while you helped with cooking and cleaning and sometimes helped the kids with other stuff. You weren’t a particularly academic person in school, you could do enough to pass but you were always much better at dealing with people. In your down time you ate together, talked about all kinds of things and some of the girls even asked how you managed to get a boy your age to settle. To which you answered Caspian was special.

You were in the kitchen helping out as you did most days when someone tapped your shoulder “hey is this your boy?” One of the girls asked as she held her phone out to you, showing you an image of Caspian. He was writing something in chalk on the black board while mumbling to himself before he seemed to come back to himself and start to wipe everything away. “Mmhm.” You hum your confirmation as you turn away from her to continue what you were doing. “Is he okay?” She asked. “He’s fine,” You answered. “If you're sure.” she shrugged as she turned away from you. You bit your lip, this might be another place that you have to leave before long, that video might tell the wrong people Caspian was. You helped serve lunch before sitting down with your own, it was easy to find your boy in the crowd, he still very much dressed the same as he did before which made him stand out against everyone else. “You okay?” You asked as you sat down across from him. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered, playing with his food as he did. “I know that you probably don’t want to talk about it, so I won’t ask but I do need to know if this means that we need to leave.” You said as you started to eat. “I don’t know yet.” He answered.

“Hey, how was your first day at school?” Brother Kenneth, the man that had allowed us both to join sat next to Caspian. “I think I flunked out.” Caspian looked down at his place, he seemed upset, you assumed because he really wanted it to have worked out here. “At least you got their attention, that’s half the battle.” Kenneth argued. “You saw that?” Caspian glanced at him for a second before closing his eyes and sighing. “I’m sorry I don’t know what happened, I guess it just- Please don’t kick us out.” “And find someone else who can solve for x, I don’t think so, I just want to make sure that you're okay.” There was a hint of a joke in his tone as he looked at Caspian, there was a smile on his face and that gave you cause to relax. “Look I don’t want to sound pushy but most of the kids that come here, they just want a hot meal no questions asked but it seems like you, you're both running from something. If you tell me what it is, I can help.” “I don’t know, can you run away from yourself?” Caspian asked, your hand moved over the table gently squeezing his hand in reassurance. “What do you mean?” Kenneth asked as he looked between the both of you. “I mean I don’t know who I am, or maybe I do and that’s the problem.” Caspian leaned forward on the table, his hand twisting upwards to gently hold yours as you attempted to pull away. “The struggle to reconcile conflicting personalities is pretty much par for the course for the brothers here.” Kenneth leant back so that he could catch Caspian’s eye. “Most of us lived very different lives before we took up our vocations.” “I uh.. Saw the tattoos.” Caspians eyes moved down to the art that he was referencing. “You thought those were from prison? I was in a bad metal band.” Kenneth laughed as he twisted his wrist to show them off a little more. “Spent most of my time with a needle.” his hand rested on Caspian’s shoulder “it can seem like we are required to act one way because of society, our parents or even our own bad impulses that we don’t really have a choice.” “Do we?” Caspian asked.

“The great paradox of christian faith is that we believe in predestination, for God all moments in time are present in their immediacy, we also believe in individual free will, in other words sincere can’t know our ultimate futures we can’t know how our choices will effect them, what matters is that we still get to choose.” Kenneth explained, you watch as a small smile stretched across Caspian’s face, it was gone in a second though. “How do you know it’s the right choice?” Caspian asked. “It doesn’t matter so long as you willingly embrace it.” Kenneth answered before standing up and leaving the table. “I assume we’re staying?” You asked, a smile taking over your face when he nodded. You moved to the other side of the table sitting next to him as you finished what was left of your food.

You had been sitting eating the next day, Caspian had taken your place serving, claiming that you do it all the time and that he should do it every once in a while. You rolled your eyes, a small smile on your face as you thought about the conversation, you were startled out of your thoughts by someone sitting across from you. “You’ve been quite the thorn in our side, you know that? (Y/N)?” The man asked as he stirred the stew in the bowl. “Who are you?” You asked as your eyes travelled around the canteen and the streets, nothing that you hadn’t seen there before. “See any black SUVs, that always seems like a bad sign.” He said as he looked between you and a person you assumed was Caspian approaching behind you. “For what it’s worth I’m driving a rented Malibu. I lucked into a spot across the street. I’m Julius Pope, by the way.” “You're alone?” Caspian asked, his hand coming up to rest on the centre of your back but not sitting yet. “Just me.” He confirmed. “Look. I-if you want to run again. I’ll understand. I-I just want to talk.” Caspian stayed silent for a moment before he sat down next to you, he leaned forward on one arm the other under the table where your hands were connected your thumb gently running over the back of his hand. “That TikTok, but I deleted it, which means you must have searched all the deleted caches which means you had access to government surveillance tools and military spec facial recog. NSA?” He asked. “Caspian you do not disappoint, by the way, Cary’s okay.” He added, you didn’t like him, he added things like an afterthought used to make you both feel safer, you only hoped that Caspian realised that and didn’t get too caught in searching for answers. “He pulled through and he’s doing better, thought you might like to know.” “What are you going to do to him?” Caspian asked. “You think we’re the bad guys. I get that. Actually, no. I take that back. Even though we have psych profiles that tell us what you’re supposed to think, I don’t pretend to have any idea what this is really like for you.” Julius rattled off explanation after explanation in hopes of getting you to relax. “I don’t imagine anyone on this planet does.” Caspian looked down, you're not sure at what but when he looked up Julius smiled “he used to give me that same look. Stephen Holstrom was my best friend. You, your birth was his idea, we were given the responsibility to guide you but who were we kidding? I guess I just want to apologise to you for screwing that up, ‘cause I can’t apologise to him.” “An apology. That’s how this ends?” Caspian asked. “I don’t know how it ends. It’s up to you.” Julius explained. “Oh, now it’s up to me. Now I have free will.” Capian slumped forward as his eyes fell on Kenneth and a couple of kids across the way. “Does Brother Kennth work for you?” “Who?” Julius asked.

“Does matter. You want me to be Holstrom?” Caspian asked. “Full control of the company that I created and the power to do whatever I want with it.” “Okay.” Julius answered. “You don’t get it. The first thing I’m going to do is trash your UI program, then shut down the rest of the company and sell off the pieces.” Caspian was trying to provoke him, you could tell that much from his tone. “I-I-I used to have this catchphrase. I think I said to Stephen like a hundred times a day. I would say, ‘I work for you, Boss.’” Julius said. “Is that supposed to make you more trustworthy?” You asked. “When we were a struggling start-up, Stephen said ‘let’s pour half our profits into research’ and I said ‘you're wrong.’ A few billion dollars later, he said, ‘let’s take the company private.’ and again, I was like ‘no, you’re damn wrong.’ By the time he got around to ‘let’s fix death,’ it was ‘I work for you boss.’” He explained. “You took the company public again after Holstorm died.” Caspian said. “Because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Just like most of the people who can’t see how you see. Pay no attention to the scared, greedy bald guy behind the curtain okay? Tell me what to do.” “You are going to regret saying that.” Caspian said, a smirk taking over his face. “You’re wrong.” Julius answered, Julius stood from where we was sitting “I’ll give you some time to say goodbye-” “To who?” He asked. “Everyone-” “(Y/N)’s coming with me.” Caspian said. “Caspian-” “(Y/N) comes or I stay.” Caspian tightened his hold on your hand as you attempted to pull your hand away. “Fine.” He looked away from the both of you for a second “don’t take too long.”

Julius took you to a private jet that he said would take you to the block site in Norway where Caspian would find everything that he needed. When you got to the jet Caspian stopped “I need to make a call.” He said before leaning down to you “I should probably explain everything to Maddie.” “Mm.” You hummed in agreement as you stepped away. “Stay there.” He pointed to the stairs “where I can see you.” The conversation seemed to be heated, you heard him raise his voice but eventually he turned and walked back to where you where, helping you stand and leading you into the jet. “What happened?” You asked once you were both seated. “She told me I sound just like him.” He answered, pressing his face into your shoulder. “She didn’t mean that.” You said softly, your hands running through his hair. “She sounded like she meant it.” You felt the sentence vibrate through you as he spoke, quiet and deflated. “I know but the truth is she’s hurt, angry and scared for her dad, she’s also young, she wanted to hurt you and she knew that was the fastest most hurtful thing that she could have said.” Your fingers continued their gentle movement through his hair as the plane started.

After a 9 hour flight you were led into an office one that seemed to be preserved and your thoughts were quickly confirmed by “I upgraded the system over the years of course, that’s what he would have wanted, but I’ve never once sat in the chair. Honest.” He pulled plastic covering off of the desk, your eyes immediately drawn to the little doodle on the desk something that you had definitely seen Caspian draw before said man drew your attention. “That’s the flaw?” He asked, looking at the computer screens that had lit up. “He worked on cracking integrity until the very end. These are the conditionals he was working on when he collapsed.” There was moment of silence that followed Julius’ sentence before Caspian finally spoke. “Okay, enough with the showcase. I don’t care where he died. I wanna see where I was born.” Caspian turned on his heels reaching out to grab your hand when you made no move to follow him.

Julius led you both down to the dingy basement level, which looked a little bit like something out of a horror movie, the fact that they had managed to make something as amazing as Caspian in a place like this gave you pause. As the lights flickered on your eyes drew to every piece of machinery. Caspian attention was drawn to the bag that acted as an amniotic sack while he was growing. “Am I the only one?” “Yes, you’re the only one. First try out the gate. Cloning Stephen was the easy part, relatively speaking. Raising you to be just like him, well that took enormous effort and resources.” Julius answered. “And we still screwed up.” A new voice spoke, you heard the footsteps as Caspian put himself between you and the new threat. “Dr Karl Van Leuwen.” Julius introduced the man that had spoken. “I read the files.” Caspian then turned his attention to the woman that had walked in with Leuwen “who are you?” “Deirdre Ryan, head legal counsel and employee number five at the company.” She introduced herself. “I met Stephen when he was just a kid, not much older than you are now.” She stepped forward and Caspian stepped, your hand clasped the back of his sweater when you both heard a voice that you recognised. “No one is going to hurt you, Caspian.” Renee said softly. “I promise.” “You think I’ll trust one word that comes out of your mouth?” Caspian asked, grabbing the closest thing to him to use as a weapon.

“Whoa.” Julius moved to defuse the situation but everything stopped at the sound of yet another voice that you recognised. “No, but you can trust me. I wouldn’t let them touch either of you, even if they tried.” Cary next to join now with all the adults in a semi circle around you, it became a lot more imposing. “Oh my god.” Renee groaned as she lifted her hand to press against her temple. “Cary let’s de-esculate.” Leuwen stepped forward. “Shut up Karl.” This was starting to get a little aggressive. “Guys, we knew this would be weird. Look, there’s no avoiding that.” Julius looked at each of the adults around the room. “Weird? Weird!? This isn’t even human!” Caspian’s out burst seemed to shock them into silence and he wasn’t done. “You’re not gonna hurt me? You made me to be hurt. You planned it, you carried it out.” He pointed at Julius and Renee respectively and then threw the metal tray he had grabbed before to the floor. “Every life had pain, Stephen insisted that this was the source of his greatness, every choice we made was calculated to bring you closer to that greatness.” Leuwen explained, you frowned as you listened to them. “For what?” Caspian asked exasperatedly, “So you freak can survive death and live forever!?” “No, it’s so the world can survive us.We’re too many for the planet to support. Our carbon based bodies require the gratification of inflexible, finite matter. Freedom from these bodies, these atoms grants us freedom from scarcity, possession, decay, waste… and yes death.” Julius answered. “Do you all understand what you sound like, you're crazy. Caspian is amazing as Caspian. He doesn’t need to be Stephen, the world doesn’t need another Stephen!” You argued drawing everyone’s attention to you. “Why are you still here?” Renee asked, “I thought you were getting rid of her.”

“Touch her and you’ll regret it.” Caspian warned, reaching back to where your hand was still connected to his sweater “That thing you said before I said that, didn't I? I mean Stephen did.” They all gathered together in front of the both of you. “Yes.” Renee answered. “Alright this is what I say now mum dad, you're fired.” Caspian said. “What?” Renee asked at the same time that Cary spoke. “Caspian.” “I wanna dump my shares, then break up the company and sell it for parts.” Caspian ordered. “You can’t do that.” Deirdre was the one to step forward. “He can and he just did.” Julius shut her down. “Julius.” Deirdre warned. “Do as he says.” Julius answered. “We work for you boss.”

Finally back up in an office, one of the brighter rooms in the place, Julius was on the phone to someone talking about a man called Waxman, who was what you could only assume was an employee involved in everything that had been happening behind the scenes. Julius ordered his arrest and hung up the phone, Caspian spoke the moment he knew the line was dead, stepping back from you who was leaning against the desk across from him. “I bet you dreamed of the day you introduced this technology to the world. Ever imagine it would end like this?” “End? You think this is the end?” Julius asked. “Every system needs to be taken off like and sponged clean, none of the UI’’s would survive. “ Every one of them would survive.. If anyone were to get wiped in the system beads they may suffer some lose but they would soon resurrect at home.” “It’s the miracle of backs.” Julius explained. “People won’t allow it.” Caspian argued. “Who won’t?” Julius asked, “People, Look at them, they're rioting all over the world, they’re freaking out.” Caspian gestured towards the computer screen. “You know how many millions of people have protested against nuclear weapons since then. But toothpaste does not go back in the tube.” “this is not the end of it, every country who has an AI will protect it, hide it, and lie about it. Every government that doesn’t have one will make one up and lie about it.” “More UIs.” Caspian stood next to you face Julius. “Countless UIs” Julius confirmed. “Then we end another way because they will not be controlled.” Caspian argued. “Stephen predicted as much, which was why he wanted to be the first to crack integrity.” Julius stuffed his hands in his pockets. “So he could make them more powerful.” Caspian accused him. “Not him, one, one whose speed and power will not degrade and therefore cannot be matched.”One whose interest align with humanity. “One UI to rule them all.” Caspian mumbled more to himself. “More like you will have no others before me.” Julius corrected. “Oh sjit, Biblical.” Caspian gave him a sarcastic response. “As an organising tool for civilisation you gotta admit monotheism was a killer app.” Julius smiled. “The killer part sure.” Caspian shrugged. “No if you choose the right god.” Julius smiled. “Who did you have in mind?” Caspian asked. “You didn’t hear me. I said, ‘not if you pick the right god.’” Julius remarked and you looked between them. “Or we just wait and see how this plays out.” “What do you think?” Caspian asked, turning to you.

“I never met any of the UIs Caspian, I can’t help you make that decision, of all of the ones that you met, who do you think would make the best and most fair and impartial judge, someone who can keep the rest in line?” You posed the question, in hopes that it would help him get to the answer that he was looking for. “David.” He mumbled softly as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead before pulling out his phone. He called Maddie but he only managed to have a small conversation before they seemed to be cut off. “The network is down.” Julius informed us. “What one?” Caspian asked. “All of them.” He answered as you looked at him and frowned. “The internet is going dark everywhere, we don’t have much time.” “What do you mean?” Caspian asked. “Until the world feels ready to come back online, when the network comes back so do the UIs-” “David Kim is gone.” Caspian sid, almost as if that were the end of the conversation and the world as you knew it. “David Kim?” Julius asked. “He was the one I could see trusting to carry the responsibility.” He sounded so dejected and you reached out to squeeze his hand in reassurance. “Let’s get you working on his source code then.” Julius stood from where he was sitting to walk out of his office. “What?” Caspian asked. “We kept a copy of course, the miracle of backups.” Julius answered, turning back to look at him. “We should ask Maddie beforeyou start this.” You suggested. “I can’t get her hopes up before I figured this out.” Caspian answered as he followed Julius out. “Please just trust me.” Caspian put his hand out for you to take. “When have I ever doubted you?” You asked, taking his hand “be careful with him.” Your eyes travelled to Julius as you all settled into a walk back to Holstrom’s old office, when you got there, Caspian walked over to the desk sitting down, he started working on cracking integrity.

It was late in the evening, you had fallen asleep on the sofa in the office after Julius had finally left. Caspian took a moment to glance over at you smiling softly at the position that you had fallen asleep in, he stood from his chair and walked over gently moving you into a more comfortable position and covering you over with a blanket. He didn’t know what he did to deserve you but he was thankful that you were there.

You. The variable. The girl who stuck by him. The girl he would put all of his all into protecting no matter the cost. Caspian leant down and pressed a kiss to your forehead, he needed to make a better world for you to thrive in.

*Part 4*

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