#case lawyers

[ariaste]

Me: [sees everyone talking about how Assad Zaman was "literally" coming up with RPF about himself and Eric Bogosian in an interview]

Me: ah, fandom's doing its little "interpret an innocent comment in Some Kind Of Way" thing again, let's go find the video and do our own critical thinking about what was actually said here--

Assad: What would happen if I said-- [words that cannot be interpreted as anything but RPF fanfic]

Me:

Me: ok fandom gets a pass on this one actually

[stormjay0]

I haven’t belly laughed at a YouTube video in a long time but CHRIST was the Cleo/Doc case hilarious

[noodles-and-tea]

…another.

[clownowo]

I think that if Miles Edgeworth were to ever have a Tumblr blog it would be entirely Steel Samurai based with a carefully organized tagging system. He posts lengthy formally worded analysis about Steel Samurai and nothing else. He doesn't check his notes. He does check his asks, because they're kind of like emails. He has anon asks and dms turned off. Someone sends an ask about his interests outside of Steel Samurai and he immediately blocks them. He doesn't have pronouns or a name to be called by in his bio. The only hint about Edgeworth's personal life is that when he refers to the death of Jack Hammer or the conviction of Matt Engarde he only refers to Phoenix as "that man".

Maya definitely has a tumblr and it has a canon Pink Princess url. She actually hoarded a bunch of Pink Princess urls long before the character was officially announced because she knew she needed to have them. Her tumblr header is "the real pink princess ask sal manella". Her pinned post has these

[ID: Two blinkie banners. The first has a lesbian flag background and says "Pink Princess is canonically gay." The second is light pink and says "PinkSteel shippers dni". End ID] (thank you @princess-of-purple-prose)

Maya follows him and sends Edgeworth asks periodically. He thinks she's a wonderful conversationalist. He has no idea of her identity. Maya is fully aware he's Edgeworth.

[kqluckity]

skiz: doc killed cleo's emotional support pig. on purpose, to cause her distress.

joe: yeah, but have you considered that he's a big man child? have you considered that maybe that was the only way he could share his pain with others? that he can't express his emotions well. on account of him being a grown baby?

[noyzinerd]

Sterek Rival Lawyers AU

It's A (Court) Date

Imagine, high-class, Ivy League, hot-shot, attorney Derek comes back from New York to the family firm to take over as partners with his sister after his parents decide to step down. He may not be on the level of his mother yet, but he's cut his teeth against Wall Street wolves and ruthless white-collar sharks. Derek's more than proved himself, so he just can't fathom these small criminal court cases his family is making him take "before he's truly ready" to be a part of the family business.

Enter in his first case. Right out the gate, the state assigned defense is, not only late to court, but also arrives in a flurry of limbs and papers, tripping all over himself, and profusely apologizing to the room as a whole. "Sorry! Sorry! Car trouble!"

The guy is out of breath, tie crooked and hair a mess. It makes Derek wrinkle his nose at the unprofessionalism and the blatant disrespect to everyone's valuable time.

The presiding judge, the Honorable Ms. Lydia Martin, only sighs a heavy sigh, as if this sight is nothing new, and says "Mr. Stilinski, I suggest you don't let it happen again."

Derek is honestly getting annoyed by how easy this is going to be. He could've been doing literally anything else right about now rather than being here going against a common rent-a-lawyer with some Podunk community-college degree. The opening statement for the defense is laughably inept. Full of nervous stuttering, backtracking, running tangents, and babbling. He's still apologizing, trying to assure the jury that he's just having an off-day today.

It's embarrassing to watch.

Nonetheless, Derek goes through the motions, practiced and poised. Examines all the evidence, presenting times and dates, prior arrest records, the works.

During this time, Mr. Stilinski is frantically (and VERY LOUDLY) flitting through a cartoonishly large stack of papers and whispering to his client. Derek has to fight to grit his teeth through his presentation.

Finally, it's time for Mr. Stilinski to cross-examine Derek's client and, unbeknownst to him, the beginning of Derek's long, long spiral of madness for the rest of his career.

"Judge Martin, I would like to move to have this case thrown out."

"Oh?" asks Judge Martin. For some reason, there's an amused smirk, almost fond, tugging at her lips "On what grounds?"

A giddy, almost manic, grin takes over the defense attorney's face just then. "On the grounds that the prosecution's client is full of bullshit."

The judge rolls her eyes and an exasperated "Stiles," slips from her lips, seemingly against her will. (Derek's not really surprised by the familiarity between the two of them. With how often state-assigned lawyers are called to the courtroom on small cases, it wouldn't be too big of a leap to suggest they might be chummy.)

"Respectfully, of course." Mr. Stilinski--er Stiles?--winks back at her.

"Objection. Your honor, this is ridiculous."

"Overruled. Make your point, Stilinski."

"Mr. Davis says he saw my client at 12:30 P.M., on August 4th, attempting to take his back-right hubcap outside his apartment. Mr. Davis' apartment complex at that time, on that particular day, would have cast a huge shadow over the back lot as evidenced by the gaudy sundial-art-installation outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, my client's picture, when taken in for questioning, has a sunburn on the entire right side of his face. This would corroborate Mr. Lyle's story of walking home alone, down the upper, unshaded side of Elmore Street, during one of the hottest days of the year, for an hour straight. Also, the fact that Mr. Davis has no realistic idea how long it would actually take a person to steal a hubcap should be evidence enough."

"Uh-huh. And this wouldn't happen to be something you've ever had any expertise in, would it, counsel?"

"I plead the 5th."

And just like that, Derek's case is thrown out so quick, he's still reeling about it all the way home.

For the next two years, this becomes Derek's life. This man, this Stiles Stilinski, keeps showing up like a whirlwind and absolutely puts him in his paces.

Stiles, as he insists Derek call him, is a powerhouse. Relentless and unstoppable. That mouth can filibuster for literal hours (which, for those unfamiliar, is when someone legally cannot be forced to give up their time on the floor as long as they can keep talking), that brain quick as a whip, with a hunger for research, a mastery of the English language svelte enough to trip up even the most well-rehearsed lie, and an attention to detail like nothing Derek has ever witnessed before. It's like he knows every law inside and out. Lives it. Breathes it. It's like he had been raised on the law his whole life. Not only that, it's like Stiles enjoys it. Every case is a new game to get excited about.

All of it makes Derek's blood boil.

However, it's not always about losing to Stiles all the time, because, honestly, that might be less humiliating.

In truth, when faced against Stiles, Derek's bound to win about 60% of the time. Out of that 60%, only 5% of those wins actually feel earned. As for the other 55%?

He knows Stiles is letting him win.

Derek can't prove it, but he knows the asshole is holding back on purpose nearly half the time. Knowing that Stiles could have beaten him if he wanted to, but didn't, is somehow more frustrating than just losing.

He hates Stiles.

He hates that the guy is so chipper and playful all the damn time. He hates that Stiles could probably work at any firm he wanted, could make enough money to get a decent car that doesn't shit out all the time, could buy a proper-fitting suit, but instead CHOOSES to stay here "watching out for the little guy", as he so put it.

He hates that facing Stiles in court is the most challenged, the most motivated he's ever felt in his entire life. He hates that Stiles brings out in him the spark of passion and drive Derek had long thought had died. He hates that Stiles always tries to banter with him during recess or whenever they have to exchange evidence.

He hates finding out that Stiles only loses cases on purpose when his endless amounts of research points to the defendant actually being guilty of horrendous crimes, because Stiles is a good fucking person.

He hates Stiles' constant teasing and he hates that Stiles is somehow able to bring Derek down to his childish level to tease back. He hates how much he looks forward to court-dates with Stiles now. He hates being invited out by Stiles over and over to grab a bite together after a long day, as if Stiles hasn't been wiping the floor with him on this case for the last month. He hates it even more that he always accepts and that now they have their own designated booth at the diner across the street. Derek's so unbelievably frustrated, it makes him want to bite Stiles at the neck just to hear that smartass mouth squeal.

"Hey, I ever tell you I was thinking of quitting before you arrived?" Stiles asks one night as they're walking to their cars.

Derek's head immediately snaps to him at that. "What?"

Stiles smiles distantly at the thought. "Oh, yeah. Things had started feeling like being trapped in a cubicle, y'know? There wasn't any challenge in it anymore."

"What made you stay?"

"Well...you did. You were the first, serious competition I'd faced in a while. It wasn't a matter of winning just to win, anymore. Going against you always reminded me of the reason why it was important for me to win. It gave me stakes, because now there was an actual chance I could lose and an innocent person could go to jail. You, I don't know, kinda reignited my passion for fighting the good fight, I guess."

Derek can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest. He wants to say 'You did the same for me!' He wants to tell Stiles that he didn't think his life could ever be this fun or happy or messy or chaotic or exhilarating or challenging or fulfilling before coming to Beacon Hills.

But just as Derek goes to open his mouth to sing Stiles' praises, he instead finds himself roughly shoving him up against the Camaro and biting hungrily at that mouth and tongue that's been the bane of his existence. There's a surprised little squeak that Derek quickly swallows up, but it isn't long before they're both tearing at each others' clothes and fucking each other dirty in the backseat of Derek's car.

What's crazy is, after they get together, nothing in their careers really changes. The only difference is now they get to fuck each others' brains out after an intense battle in court (and the sound Stiles makes when Derek bites him is exactly what he always imagined it would sound like). They still face against each other on opposite sides in court. They still give it everything they got, no conceding even if they are dating now. Not to mention, Derek wouldn't dream of tempting Stiles over to his firm. Not when he knows Stiles is at his best staying where he's at.

The day Derek's family finally decides it's time for him to take over the firm with Laura is the best day of his and Stiles' lives.

Not only does Derek tell them he's declining, he hires Stiles as his attorney to negotiate terms against his entire family of well-seasoned lawyers.

The entire month-long negotiation results in Derek, not saying a single word, but absolutely beaming as he watches his boyfriend run circles around his mother, his father, his uncle, and both of his sisters on contracts. It's so unbelievably hot, they're banging on whatever flat surface they can get their hands on every time they leave the boardroom. There's even one very memorable blowjob in the empty hall outside the boardroom when Stiles somehow manages to get Peter to agree to a (most likely illegal) clause dictating the firm will pay Stiles a finder's fee for any pro-bono case Stiles takes on outside of Beacon Hills that strikes his fancy.

And, no one says it, but they all know Derek definitely, 100%, dragged his own firm through this negotiation just to show off how incredible Stiles is to his family and preen about it.

--

Fast-forward, Derek is going to be in the audience for the first time for one of Stiles' cases.

While waiting in the hall, Derek sees a familiar face from his New York days. The prosecution has hired the eighth best lawyer money can get, Jackson Whittemore. He's sporting a Rolex, sunglasses indoors, and the face of someone who thinks he's above literally every other person in town.

Well, at least until he sees Derek.

For some reason, Jackson seems to think Derek is all the way out in the middle of nowhere to 'watch a master at work' (which...well...is technically true...).

As Derek goes to sit in the audience, Jackson tells him in passing, "This'll be over so fast, probably won't even get a chance to learn the other guy's name."

Derek chuckles and says back, "Ooh, buddy, you have no idea."

Before Jackson can think more on that, a whirlwind of limbs and papers suddenly hurls through the doors.

Derek sits back, gets comfy, and waits eagerly for the show to begin.

My first moodboard. Hope you enjoy. AU based on a discussion with @casually-eat-my-soul (I suggest checking out their version). This was kind of like a divergence from that (the brain juices just started flowing).

[neurotic-sinkhole]

as someone who has worked in courtrooms and actively is in law school i. i just have to talk about the cleo v doc case.

i finally got around to watching doc's entire POV after being too busy. i saw clips over and over again that were just calling my name. and oh boy did the full vid not dissapoint. my mouth was wide open the whole time in both shock and laughter. surprisingly, some of the proceedings of the court were accurate to typical US court proceedings!

here's a list of events and actions that stood out to me for their questionable realism:

- skizz's opening line was pretty accurate to how most plaintiff/prosecutions begin -"your honor, opposing council, members of the jury"

- most courts don't let you... submit evidence in opening statements but i love the hustle skizz!!

- honestly skizz's entire opening statement would have had a jury on his side

- but no jury? this would be a jury case

- honestly joe's baby defense i could see playing out in court

- joe really held up the batshit defense arguments stereotype and i love that for us 🧡

- arguing in opening to have the case dismissed... baby that time has passed. not even discovery can save you now

- i get the feeling neither joe nor doc knew the plaintiff was going to call witnesses which is not only major illegal but also so fucking funny

- this is the type of questioning a proffessor would show what leading a witness looks like

- literally during both of joes cross' i was crying it was so funny

- also ren's "i cannot recall" yeah!! that's good.

- should have brought up husband status

- skizz. please. it is not "disposition". beef did not give you a "disposition". it's "deposition". please. i'm crying.

- really good relevance objection! and skizz didn't say "relevency" so +3000 lawyer points!

- the judge firing missles at both councils is a feature i think the lower courts should implement

- DEFENSE DIDNT GET TO PRESENT A SINGLE WITNESS???

- like they had no case. the witnesses are your case. they didn't begin their case to even rest it. help?

- no experts testified but i think if D did get a witness they could've had an expert testify to either doc's baby or insane status and that would have really helped.

- joe's mens rhea argument in closing was SO GOOD. like that really was the glove moment of this trial.

anyways i'll be thinking about this for 1000 years.

[sapphickitii]

do yall ever think abt thalassa giving trucy her bracelet. because i think abt thalassa giving trucy her bracelet

[bet-on-me-13]

Two-Face is a Liminal

So! Harvey Dent was splashed in the face with pure Acid, strong enough to instantly melt and burn off half of his Face.

He definitely nearly died from that, if not from the Blood Loss then from the Infections and Chemical Poisoning that you would expect. Now, since he didn't actually die he didn't become a Ghost, but multiple factors led to Harvey becoming a Liminal.

He was born in Gotham, a city with a very high Ecto Level, his attack was one filled with many extremely powerful emotions, and near death experiences tend to draw Ectoplasm to the location.

It makes sense doesn't it?

The sudden Split Personality, that's his Traumatized Ghost Side and his Barely hanging oon Human Side conflicting. It got so bad he developed DID.

His Obsession with the Coin is his Literal Ghostly Obsession. In Life he was always preaching about how "Crime always pays, its fate" so now he relies on Fate to make decisions.

Harvey Dent is a Liminal Human, parading around as a Villain in Gotham.

Imagine his surprise when Danny shows up at his Base, asking for a Lawyer? Apparently he needs help with a Legal Case of some sort.

What are these, Anti Ecto Acts?

[yusakiiiii]

Watching Doc’s latest video and Joe’s fantastic job at being a lawyer, I was inspired to write a Haiku about the situation. I commented this on Doc’s video but would also like to share it here.

Doc’s a big baby.

That is my defence for him.

That’s all your highness.

[calamity-jam]

Is it possible to be divorced without being married

[doydoune]

the worst day of their lives so far, but the night is quiet

[forecast0ctopus]

arthur (sopping wet, very confused, framed for murder) and merlin (probably having a heart attack, also very confused, got a law degree at some point?)

follow up to this because i just think its fun

[static-scribblez]

Apparently this is a universal experience for almost every Will Wood fan on this app

[theredcuyo]

My philosophy teacher asked what we do in our free time

I said play videogames, he asked if You could get into philosophical thought on that i said yes

He asked how, i brought up some stuff about persona, Akechi and Akira's thesis and antithesis, the reality (Like the ideal of Plato), accepting your true self as per p4 and the concept of death and memories from p3

He said we'll have a chat about more of that later, because he wants to know how much of it you get on your free will and how much the game tells you

This just to say how you definitely write a philosophical essay on the homosexual tension between Akira and Akechi alone and that's beutiful

[wheatormeat]

When the attorneys are ace or something like that