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marie-swriting · 2 years ago

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Trust You - Stiles Stilinski

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Summary : Your trust issues are getting worse as they start ruining your relationship with Stiles.

Warnings : hurt/comfort, angst, trust issues, mention of cheating parent, bad relationship with parents, self-sabotage, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 3.5k

French Version

Song inspiration : Emails I Can't Send by Sabrina Carpenter

‘Sorry, I’ll have to cancel tonight, I’m so tired because of lacrosse.’

You reread Stiles’ message at least three times before answering him with a simple ‘don’t worry, get some rest’. Even if your message seems insignificant, but your insecurities hide behind it.

Everytime Stiles can’t hang out with you because something comes up, a small voice comes talking to you just to scare you : ‘He doesn’t love you. He’s still in love with Lydia. He went to meet her. Or maybe he’s with Malia. Either way, he’s not with you. He cancelled to see another girl and spend the night with her because you’re not good enough.’. And lately, Stiles has cancelled a lot of dates, giving that small voice more strength. You’re struggling to not listen to it, but it can be convincing. You think Stiles would never hurt you, he’s loyal, but your fear is bigger than your trust.

That night, instead of being in your boyfriend’s reassuring embrace, you don’t sleep. You lay in your bed, hugging a pillow and letting tears wetting your cheeks. When your alarm rings, the idea of lying to your parents about being sick is really tempting for about a second, but you don’t want to stay in this house that hasn’t been a home for a week now. You need to leave, so you get out of bed and get ready for school.

When you arrive at Beacon Hills High, Stiles comes to you in an instant. He apologises again before taking you in his arms. You try to not show anything even if this small voice comes back in your head : ‘He’s probably not really sorry for looking elsewhere. He’s going to leave you for Lydia soon.’. You shake your head to chase it away unsuccessfully. During the morning, you stay silent and Stiles starts to worry. He noticed since the second you arrived something was wrong, but he is sure something’s up when lunch break comes. Indeed, you eat quickly and leave right after, pretending you have an assignment to do ; Stiles understands something's wrong with you even though he doesn't know what or why. In fact, you left when Lydia talked about what happened when she was at Stiles’, the day before. You felt a lump in your throat and you needed to be away from Lydia and Stiles. You ran away to the bathroom to cry freely. Your mind keeps torturing you, the voice was right : he wants to leave you for Lydia. He lied to you. You cry until the bell rings.

For the remainder of the day, Stiles tries to talk to you, in vain. You avoid him while your sadness slowly turns into anger. Though, Stiles is stubborn so he proposes to drive you home. For a moment, you want to refuse, but you need to confront him so you accept. You quickly send a message to your mom, telling her she doesn’t need to come pick you up. On the way home, you’re lost in your thoughts, trying to find the best way to talk to Stiles. As for him, Stiles drives nervously. When he parks in front of your home, you finally decide to not talk to him, wanting to avoid a new argument. You’re about to leave the Jeep when he holds you back. You look at him, fearing what he might say. Maybe the voice was right : you’re not good enough, he wants someone else, he’s already found someone else.

“Y/N, what’s the matter ?” He genuinely asks.

“Nothing.” You lie, making his eyes roll.

“I know you, there’s something wrong.”

You look at him for a second, weighing pros and cons before choosing to confront him.

“Why did you cancel last night ?”

“I told you, I was tired because of lacrosse.”

“You could have come to my place anyway. It’s not like we were gonna party. You know, if you wanted to be somewhere else or hang out with someone else, you could just have told me.”

“What are you talking about ? After school, I went home and slept.” He wants to know, frowning.

“Really ? So why didn’t you tell me you saw Lydia ?” You retort, crossing your arms on your chest.

“She just came for a few minutes, she needed to pick up something.”

“What thing ?”

“A book for school.”

“You couldn’t have given it to her today ?”

“She needed it to do her homework for today.”

“You could’ve told me.”

“Y/N, she stayed five minutes. I don’t need to tell you everything I’m doing.” He defends himself and you laugh humorlessly.

“You cancelled our night and Lydia came to your place, I think I have the right to know.”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of it ? It was for school.”

“I’m not making a big deal, but you lied to me.” You insist, pointing at him with your finger.

“I didn’t lie to you, when she left I went straight to bed because I was tired.”

“And when were you gonna tell me she came to your place ?”

“I didn’t think it was that important. Honestly, Y/N, why are you always so tense whenever Lydia comes up ?” He questions and you try to keep a neutral face.

“I just don’t like the way she’s glued to you.”

“She’s not glued to me.”

“Yes, she is, but how could you notice ? You’re too busy admiring her to notice it.”

“What are you even talking about ?”

“I’m just saying you’re really close to Lydia and almost every time you’ve cancelled it has been to see her.” You explain and Stiles runs his hand over his face, frustrated.

“She’s a friend.”

“Before you wanted more.”

“Yeah ‘before’, like you said. Why do you always mention the feelings I had for her ? Nothing ever happened and nothing will ever happen with her.” Stiles affirms.

“You should keep that in mind and tell her as well.”

“Y/N, honestly, I don’t see the problem.”

“I’m just stating a fact : Lydia is always glued to you so admit it.”

“Admit what ?” He demands, annoyed.

“You know what.”

“No, really I don’t.”

“Don’t take me for a fool, Stiles.” You order, dryly.

“What are you accusing me of ?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything.”

“Yet it feels like it. And it’s not the first time you do that. Everytime we argue, you mention Lydia, or even Malia, even when they don’t have anything to do with it.”

“What are you insinuating ? I’m annoying ? I’m overreacting ?” You snap, on the defensive.

“I’m just saying I feel like you’re accusing me of being too close to Lydia even though I didn’t do anything.”

“But you’d want to.”

“Honestly, at that point, yeah, like that I’d know what you’re accusing me of.”

As soon as Stiles says his sentence, his eyes open wide as he realises what he just said. Your eyes get teary but you’re holding them back.

“Y/N, I-” He tries to say but you cut him off.

“Fuck you.”

You take your bag and leave the Jeep before slamming the car door and running to your home. Stiles hesitates for a second to follow you but decides to not do anything, knowing you won’t listen to him. You go to your room and lock yourself in. Angry tears run down your cheeks while you’re trying not to scream. You’ve already argued with Stiles before. Several times. Too many times, even. But he never went that far. All of this because you pushed him over the edge, but he did admit that if he could, he’d go to Lydia. You throw yourself on your bed, take your pillow and you yell in it. You let all your rage leave your body while your sobs become stronger and stronger. You keep telling yourself you’ve ruined everything because of your insecurities, you let them talk so much that you’ve ended up pushing Stiles in Lydia’s arms. You ruined everything because you have trust issues. It seems like you haven’t been able to give your trust for the past two years. After crying for an hour, you start breathing slowly to calm down. When you finally have a normal heart rate again, your bedroom’s door opens, letting you see your dad.

“We need to talk, Y/N”, your dad starts but you don’t answer, “You can’t keep ignoring me, Y/N, please.”

“Not today, I don’t have the strength.” You sigh standing up from your bed.

“No, it can’t wait anymore, we need to talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to say. Leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you.” You try to push him away, but he doesn’t move.

“Too bad, because we’re gonna talk.”

Understanding he’s not going to let go, you pass by him and leave your room.

“Come back here.” Your dad orders behind you.

“No.”

“For how long are you going to stay mad at me ?”

“‘Til the day you’ll be able to change the past.” You scream while walking to the living room.

“God, Y/N, even your mom forgave me.”

“And she shouldn’t have”, you explode, looking your dad in the eyes, “If it were me, I would have never forgiven you as quickly. Or at all.”

“Please, I don’t like to see my little girl angry at me.”

Your dad tries to softly put his hand on your cheek but you step back. You see the hurt in his eyes but you don’t care.

“Maybe you should’ve thought about it before destroying our family in one selfish night and I forbid you from calling me ‘your little girl’.”

“That night was a mistake. I regret it.”

“Is that the truth or a lie, like the time you pretended you were sleeping so you missed our family night ?” You interrogate, pretending to be clueless.

“Y/N, I’m sincerely sorry for the way I lied.”

“Don’t say sorry now, it’s too late.”

“Please, I’m trying to take a step towards you.” He begs, making you angrier.

“I don’t care. The fact is you let us down for some woman ! Because of what you did, mom was in the depth of despair. You made her suffer and you hurt me too. I don’t trust you anymore.”

“I know and I’ll spend the rest of my life resenting myself for it.”

“So you can understand why I don’t want to forgive you. You don’t know what it feels like to see the person you looked up to destroy the confidence you had. Now I can’t even look at you !” You retort, feeling the tears coming back and your dad looks down, ashamed.

“At least, tell me what I can do to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to do. I wish there was but you can’t do anything. You tore our family apart and I hate you for it. You talked about respect, fidelity and it didn’t stop you from betraying mom.”

You’re panting because of your anger. You take a second to try and calm yourself down before adding with a harsh tone “You disgust me. You’re such a dipshit.”

“You can be angry but I forbid you from talking to me like that !”

At the same time your dad reprimands you, you hear someone knocking on the door. You’re breathing quickly while you’re walking to the entrance. You turn back to your dad one last time “I don’t give a fuck.”

As you open the door, you find Stiles. You look at him and suddenly your tears roll down your cheeks. He smiles at you awkwardly, not knowing what to do because of what he just heard.

“Can we leave, please ?”

He hears your broken voice, Stiles doesn’t waste a second before taking your hand and walking you to his Jeep. Your dad follows you, ordering you to come back. As a response, you flip him the bird while Stiles starts his car.

You drive in silence. Your anger towards your genitor cools down, but you still feel a pain in your chest because of your discussion. You never would have thought you’d say those kind of awful things to your dad, but you also never would have thought he’d hurt you, both you and your mom. You try to wipe your cheeks but they become wet again a second later.

After driving for thirty minutes, Stiles pulls over next to a park. He looks at you with sympathy, trying to find a way to start the conversation. You take several breaths before looking at him.

“Wanna talk about it ?” Stiles questions with a soft voice.

“There’s not a lot to say”, you sniff, “I guess you heard everything.”

“Just when you insulted him.” He confirms while he offers you a tissue.

“He deserved it.”

You take the tissue and wipe away your tears before blowing your nose.

“Why did you come to my place ?” You start again.

“I… I wanted to apologise. I shouldn’t have said I wanted to be with Lydia. First of all because it’s not true, but also because I hurt you. I feel bad because I caused you pain.”

“You don’t have to apologise, Stiles.” You state with a small voice.

“Of course I do ! I was being mean when I said that.” he retorts, mad at himself.

“I pushed you over the edge. I’m always trying to find you flaws to turn them against you, even though you did nothing wrong. I hurt you because I can’t trust. It’s my fault if you said that.”

“You didn’t force me to say it.”

“I made you mad to force you to admit something that isn’t true. I’m sorry for always blaming you of cheating on me with Lydia. I know you’re honest, but I can’t help but be afraid.” You admit, ashamed.

“You feel threatened by Lydia ?” He asks, trying to understand.

“If it wasn’t her, it’d be Malia and if it wasn’t her, it’d be another one. I… I’m just so afraid you’re going to look elsewhere.”

“Does it have something to do with what I heard ?”

As a response, you nod. You stay silent for a second, wondering if you should talk to him about it. Finally, you tell yourself you’ve probably already ruined everything so it’s better to admit it.

“My dad cheated on my mom two years ago. She discovered it a few months after that and then, she broke up with my dad. When I learned the truth, I had so much hatred towards him.”, you inform and you feel the tears coming back, “I never would have thought he’d do something like that. But I think the worst part was watching my mom when she learned about it. She didn’t leave her bed for a week, she was almost eating nothing. I tried to take care of her as much as I could. Never I’d thought I’d see my mom like that. When she started feeling better, we moved here. She wanted to be as far away from my dad as she could and honestly, I wanted the same.”

“Your dad came back to see you ?”

“No, my mom forgave him”, you explain, rolling your eyes, “They got back together four months ago. When she told me, I got so mad. How could she act as if nothing happened when he hurt her that much ? When he hurt us that much ? He came back home a week ago and since then, it’s been tense. I try to avoid him as much as I can, but he absolutely wants to talk to me and you saw how it generally ends up.”, you say with a fake laugh, “Anyway, that’s why I’m always afraid. Since his betrayal… I can’t have faith in people anymore.”, you admit while looking at your hands, “At least, until I met you. And even if I do, it’s not 100%. I’m always afraid you’ll hurt me, like he did. My parents were so in love and my dad was so respectful towards my mom, I never would have imagined he could cheat on her and now, I’m scared the same thing will happen to me.” You unveil looking at him, hoping he’ll understand. “And I know you gave me zero reason to doubt you, but my dad also gave my mom zero reason to doubt him and it didn’t stop him. I know I’m villainising you, trying to make up love affairs, but I can’t help it. Because of my dad, I can’t help but imagine the worst. I know I’ve always been the cause of our fights and because of that, I hurt you a lot but I swear to you, I don’t want to hurt you and even less ruin our relationship, but I can’t do it differently. I feel like I can’t love right and I hate that.” You cry.

Stiles cups your face, trying to wipe away your new tears. You close your eyes when you feel his touch, liking your closeness.

“Y/N, it’s okay.” He mutters and you break the embrace.

“No, it’s not.”, you affirm, “I’m ruining our relationship because of my stupid fears, my relationship with my dad isn’t going to be fixed soon and even my relationship with my mom is not for the better now and I have so much anger in me.”

“It’s normal, you’re hurt. You have the right to be angry.” Stiles assures you and you shake your head.

“But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life angry, especially if I end up hurting you because of it. And also, I’m not only mad at my dad, but also at myself.”

“Why ?”

“Even if my dad fucked up, I still love him. Earlier I told him I hated him to hurt him, but I didn’t mean it. I wish I could, but I can’t and at the same time, I can’t forgive him.” You sob.

“We’re talking about your dad, it’s okay to be mad at him and still love him.”

“Do you think I should pardon him ? After all, my mom did it and he asked for forgiveness several times.”

“I can’t make that decision for you. Do it only if you feel the need. Your dad betrayed you, he has no right to force you if you don’t want to do it. Your mom made that choice, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same.”

“But what if it was the solution to move on and finally be able to fully trust you ?”

“I think you should work on yourself first to know if you need to forgive him or if you can trust again without it.”

“But what about us ?” You whisper, fearing his response.

“We’ll do what you want. I… I’d understand if you want to break up with me to focus on your family problems.” He states, even if the idea of being away from you scares him.

“I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you, Stiles. Right now, you’re the person I trust the most, even if it doesn’t look like it. I don’t want to do it alone, I need you next to me.”

“Alright, I’ll stay then.” Stiles smiles, wiping a tear from your cheek. “But from now on, I want you to talk with me. I don’t want you to stay alone, torturing yourself by imagining the worst. When you feel like it’s becoming too much, come talk to me, okay ?”

“Okay. Thank you Stiles. Not only for listening to me, but also for not giving up on me, despite everything I put you through.”

“You’re worth it.” He affirms and you look at him with tenderness in his eyes.

“And I’m really sorry for everything I said.”

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you.”

You throw yourself in Stiles’ arms, needing his comfort. When he holds you tighter, you finally let go of a sigh and your shoulders relax a bit, as if every tension from your body were gone. Stiles strokes your back, hoping to calm you down a little bit more. You hide your head in the crook of his neck, wanting to feel his presence. Even if it was nerve wracking, you know now you needed to talk to him about your dad and your fears. Talking to him about it allowed you to realise your trust in him has become a little bit stronger. Now, you’re sure Stiles would never hurt you. He knew how to be patient and didn’t give up on you, even if you gave him every reason to. You’re grateful for having him next to you. You know, one day, you’ll trust him entirely.

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{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

#Spotify #marie swriting in english #teen wolf x you #teen wolf x y/n #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf one shot #teen wolf #stiles stilinski imagine #stiles stilinski x y/n #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x you #stiles stilinski angst #marie swriting with music #marie swriting with sabrina carpenter #marie swriting with eics

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bingwriterxo · 1 year ago

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the shakespeare exhibit - part 2

pairing: tara carpenter x reader

summary: in which you and tara go on your first date

warnings: none

word count: 1600+

author's note: more museum tara :D i am begging someone to take me on a shakespeare in the park date

previous part | next part

“Shakespeare in the park?” Tara asked as she stared at the outdoor stage, a few actors in costume bustling around and getting ready before the play started. Who would willingly choose to be in one of these things? she thought. She looked at you, her eyebrows furrowed. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you said, shrugging. You shoved your hands into your back pockets and tilted your head at her. “What, not into it?”

“Well, when you said you wanted to plan the first date, this definitely wasn’t what I was expecting,” she admitted, glancing at the surrounding bleachers. It was surprisingly crowded, and she tensed at the thought of anyone she knew seeing her there. Then again, who the hell do I know that likes Shakespeare? Her attention shifted back to you, a small smile on her face. I can only deal with one Shakespeare nerd.

You chuckled and hung your head. “I’m sure this isn’t what you’re used to.”

She looped her arm through yours, pressing herself into you a bit. “It’s not, but I can dig it.”

“You don’t have to lie, Tara,” you said. “I know you don’t like this stuff.”

“I mean, no, I really don’t, but you do, so it’s fine.”

You shook your head and bit back a smile as you looked at her. “We’re not actually doing this for the date, by the way.”

“Oh, thank god!” Shit, did I just say that out loud? She looked up at you sheepishly, but you were simply staring back at her with a soft grin, no offense or annoyance on your face. “I--sorry.”

“It’s cool.” You started to lead her away from the park, her arm still looped through yours. “Trust me, even I’m not nerdy enough for Shakespeare in the park.”

“Are you sure about that?” she asked. “Because the guy at the front knew you by name.”

Pink spread across your cheeks. “That’s…not important.” You turned to her, mischief in your eyes and a teasing smirk pulling at your lips. “Besides, I just wanted to see what you’d do if I brought you here, and, apparently, you’re enough of a simp to go along with it.”

Tara’s mouth dropped open, her eyes wide in disbelief. “What? I’m not a simp!”

You laughed and bumped your shoulder against hers. Butterflies sprang up like vultures in Tara’s stomach at the action. “Two seconds ago, you were literally agreeing to sit through a random Shakespeare play, and we both know you don’t like Shakespeare.”

“So? That doesn’t mean I’m a simp!”

“Tara, you told me yourself that you only watch She’s the Man for Amanda Bynes and 10 Things I Hate About You for Julia Stiles, and those are two of the most iconic modern renditions of Shakespeare.” You pulled your arm away from hers and instead wrapped it around her shoulders, bringing her closer to you. “So, the very fact that you were willing to watch an actual Shakespeare play is quite telling about your simpness.”

Damn it. She got me. “Whatever,” she huffed, her arm slipping beneath the backpack that you were wearing and sliding to hang around your waist. Her fingers drummed against a belt loop of your pants. “What are we actually doing, then?”

You pointed ahead of you. “Why don’t you take a look for yourself?”

Tara glanced forward, her eyebrows knitted together until she realized what you were talking about. The two of you were walking toward a park where there was a large projector screen set up, The Babadook title showing ominously on the front of it. There were a few other couples sprawled out on the grass, though not many, and the grin that spread across her face couldn’t be held back even if she tried.

"The Babadook in the park sounds much better than Shakespeare in the park,” she said, and you laughed.

“I thought this might be more up your alley.” You unraveled yourself from her and slipped away, just enough so that you could intertwine your fingers with her own. “Plus, I might’ve gotten a little hint about your favorite movie from your friend Mindy in my Romanticism course,” you confessed.

Mindy?! “You know Mindy?” she asked.

You nodded. “We’ve done a few projects together.” You wormed your way out of your backpack and tossed it onto the grass. “And then I guess you must’ve talked about me because she told me she knew about our upcoming date literally the day after you and I met,” you said, your voice light.

Tara could feel herself blush up to her ears. I’m going to kill her. “Shut up,” she muttered.

You kneeled down and unzipped your bag, pulling a blanket out of it. “Don’t be embarrassed,” you said, glancing back at her with a stupidly-adorable smile. Stop being so damn cute, she thought. “It’s endearing.”

She groaned and ran a hand down her face. “Shut up, please!”

“Okay, okay,” you conceded, unfolding the blanket and trying to lay it down flat on the grass. “I’ll stop if you help me with this.”

“Oh! Right. Coming.” She hurried to the other end of the blanket and grabbed it, helping you set it down in the right way. Once it was finally flat, after many failed attempts--“we’re not very good at this, are we?” you giggled at one point, to which Tara simply wanted to melt into a puddle--she flopped down ungraciously with a sigh. “That was a lot of work,” she huffed.

You chuckled as you sat beside her. “Good thing we get to do nothing except be scared for the next hour and a half.” You reached for your bag and Tara watched as you turned it upside down, a mountain of different candy falling out of it. “And also, of course, eat snacks.”

She gasped. “You got Twizzlers!”

“Well, duh. They’re the best movie snack.”

Tara looked up at you, internally cringing at the fact that she knew she had the cheesiest, shit-eating grin on her face, though she couldn’t help it as she thought, Fuck, this girl is perfect.

* * *

“I don’t understand how that could be one of your favorite movies,” you said as you walked along the sidewalk, Tara’s hand in your own. You shivered. “That shit gave me the heebie-jeebies.”

Tara chuckled. “The heebie-jeebies? Seriously?” she teased.

You turned to her, a faux-offended frown on your face. “I swear, Tar, I’m literally going to see the Babadook in my nightmares tonight, and I’m gonna blame it on you.”

Tara could feel her knees practically buckle beneath her as the nickname rolled off your tongue, but she knew she had to keep playing into the bit. “Hey!” She raised her freehand in surrender. “You chose to take us to see this movie. You can only blame yourself.”

You huffed. “Well, trust me when I say that I never would’ve watched that if you weren’t a horror movie fanatic.”

She hummed and leaned against you. “Looks like I’m not the only simp here, huh?”

“I hate it here,” you mumbled jokingly. You glanced at her. “Maybe I should just leave you out here instead of walking you home.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

You smiled. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.”

Tara giggled. “I’ve got you wrapped around my finger.”

“Woah, now. I don’t know if I’d go that far. I mean, let’s not forget the Shakespeare in the park--”

“Never talk about Shakespeare in the park again,” she interrupted. “Ever.” She thought for a second; then, “And don’t you dare tell Mindy I was willing to watch it.” I’d never hear the end of it from her.

“I’ll agree to that on one condition,” you said as Tara slowed to a stop, her apartment building looming ahead. As much as she was tempted to invite you inside, she could see the light on in the living room and knew that Sam was waiting for her—and, if not just Sam, then all of her friends.

She turned to you, your hands clasped between your bodies. “And that is?”

“A second date?” you asked shyly, and Tara squeezed your hand softly, a giggle falling from her lips.

“I didn’t even think that was a question,” she said.

Your eyes lit up and you stood a little straighter at her response, a grin blossoming on your face. “Oh, good!” You fumbled with her hand for a minute before saying, “Well, I’ll text you then.”

This fool… She bit her bottom lip. Guess I’ll have to do it myself.

Just before you could pull away, Tara gripped your hand a little harder and pulled you toward her, sighing into you when your lips met. You squeaked in surprise but quickly kissed back, your other hand rising to cup her jaw softly.

It was a chaste kiss--you were just outside on the street, after all--and Tara wanted nothing more than to deepen it, but she didn’t complain when you pulled away, knowing that there would be others.

“Okay,” you murmured, your eyes still trained on her lips. “I’ll text you.” You leaned in again, kissed her quickly, and then pulled away entirely. “Bye, Tar.”

She giggled. “Bye, Y/N.”

bonus: when tara slipped through the front door of her apartment, she wasn’t surprised to see everyone in the living room, expectant looks on all of their faces.

“so, how did it go--” sam began before being interrupted by mindy.

“i saw you gay fuckers kissing down there,” she said, grinning. anika slapped her lightly on the arm, and mindy huffed. “what?! i did!”

tara shook her head, a soft smile on her face. “i hate you, minds.”

#tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #tara x reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna x reader #scream 5 #scream 6 #museum tara

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