#carmy needs a reset

[unladyboss]

THE FOOD AT SYDNEY'S PARTY: FOREVER EPISODE. SEASON 3 THE BEAR

The food at Sydney's party looked amazing

Truth be told in my opinion, better than any of the restaurant food

Everyone was having fun.

Food bringing people together was a big topic of conversation thought the show.

Sydney nailed it with Chef Terry. CARMY wasn't there to see THAT THAT was what it was all about

He needed to see that and learn THAT LESSON.

That's why we gotta go through this AGAIN with him in part two. Like groundhog day till he gets the lesson.

Meanwhile party with your MAN DEM Sydney!

CARMY missed it. Omg if he was there and being great he and Sydney might have been all over each other, during and after the party.

I'm so upset Carmy is being a mess!

[alisonsfics]

team building

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: when natalie suggested a day of team building, carmy wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a wasting a day in the kitchen. he knew it would piss richie off though, which made it so much easier to agree. and he knew he’d get to spend more quality time with you.

word count: 2.4k

Things had been off at the restaurant. After a less-than-spectacular review from a food critic came out about the Bear, everybody had been on edge. Richie and Carmy were arguing all the time. Not important arguments, but just bickering about nonsense.

So, Sugar came in one day and suggested a team building day as a reset for everyone. Carmy had thought she was joking. Any time not spent in the kitchen felt like wasted time to him.

The only reason that Carmy ended up agreeing was because he knew how much it would annoy Richie.

That was how you all found yourself at a local park on a chilly Chicago morning.

You were one of the first ones to show up because your alarm went off earlier than you had meant for it to. You crossed your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up.

You headed towards Sugar, Syd, and Marcus, who were sitting and chatting at a picnic table.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Sydney joked, seeing the tired look in your eyes. You smiled to yourself at her joke before giving her a quick hug.

She patted the seat next to her, and you quickly sat down. You crossed your arms on the table and leaned your head down. “Wake me up when everyone gets here,” you mumbled before closing your eyes.

“Okay, honey,” Natalie said, giving you a sweet smile.

Fifteen minutes later, Carmy pulled into the parking lot. He quickly flipped down his sun visor and checked his appearance in the mirror.

Knowing that he’d be seeing you, he fixed his hair, pushing some of the loose strands out of his face.

He carefully juggled the trays of coffee that he bought for everyone as he walked into the park. He spotted Natalie, who waved him over.

His eyes instantly landed on you. As he neared the table, he noticed that you hadn’t moved. “Is she sleeping?” He mouthed, looking at Sugar. She mouthed “yes” and nodded.

He quickly nodded, trying to be as silent as possible. Sydney scooted over, so that Carmy could sit between the two of you. It wasn’t an accident that Natalie and Marcus didn’t offer him a seat on the other side of the table. The whole team had been trying to facilitate the two of you getting together for months.

Carmy carefully set down the trays of coffee, desperately trying to not wake you up. He adored you, and everyone knew it.

He handed cups of coffee to Sydney, Natalie, and Marcus. His elbow accidentally bumped into your side. You slowly picked your head up from the table, a sleepy look on your face.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” he said, apologetically. You nodded, giving him a soft smile once you saw him. He handed you a cup of coffee as an apology.

“Thank you,” you said softly as you took a sip.

“Of course,” he said, willing to do anything to make you smile like that. You leaned your head over onto his shoulder, and he thought was gonna burst.

Sugar immediately had a smirk on her face when she noticed Carmy’s giddy smile. Carmy ignored her teasing and tried to pretend the love he had for you wasn’t obvious to everyone around him.

“Not enough sleep?” He whispered to you, letting his arm wrap around your shoulder. “Mhmm,” you quietly hummed, nestling yourself into his side.

“You guys want to come help me set something up?” Sugar asked Sydney and Marcus. The three of them quickly got up to leave but not before winking at Carmy.

After months of it, Carmy had come to expect their matchmaking antics.

“Y’know, I bet Nat would let you skip this if you need to get some sleep,” Carmy said, looking down at you. You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s fine, Carmy. I’m just a little sleepy.” You said.

A shiver ran down your spine from the chilly air. “You’re freezing. Here, drink some of your coffee.” He said, using his free hand to give you the cup.

You sat up, leaning away from Carmy and quickly stretching. You took the cup out of his hand and took a few sips. “You take such good care of me.” You said, smiling at him over the lid of your cup.

He returned your sweet smile. “You’d do the same for me.” He replied simply.

He noticed how your hands were slightly shaking as you shivered. He slid his denim jacket off his arms and wrapped it warmly around your shoulders.

Carmy’s cologne, which coated the jacket, filled all your senses. “Thank you,” you said, softly. Everything about Carmy made you feel like you were a teenager again.

“Am I interrupting some flirting?” You both heard Richie’s loud voice as he walked up to the both of you.

“Take some coffee and shut the fuck up,” Carmy countered. It was a little too early for Carmy to want to deal with the incessant teasing about your relationship, or lack there of. Richie held his hands up in surrender and grabbed a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, Richie,” you said. Your sunny disposition was a direct contrast to Carmy’s current attitude toward Richie. Carmy didn’t want Richie to embarrass him in front of him.

“Good morning, sweetheart. It’s nice to see that someone’s in a good mood.” Richie said, directing a joking glare at Carmy.

“Call me sweetheart again, and I’ll hit you.” You warned, leaning your head back on Carmy’s shoulder. Carmy chuckled at your threat. “Point taken, won’t happen again,” Richie said simply.

Richie had learned not to push your buttons the same way he did to Carmy. He gave your hand a quick squeeze, which you took as a valid apology.

“Carmy, can we borrow your girl for a second?” Sydney called out to him. A giggle slipped out of your lips, while Carmy groaned. “Oh, for fucks sake,” he mumbled to himself. Before he could argue, you jumped up from your seat. “Coming,” you yelled, walking towards them.

“Come on, cousin, you gotta quit with the fucking jokes,” Carmy said to Richie after you were out of earshot.

Richie walked closer to him and took a seat beside him. “When are you gonna tell her how you feel?” Richie asked him, his tone very serious.

“You know I can’t. We work together.” Carmy said, simply. He hadn’t given the idea much thought. Sure, Carmy was basically head over heels for you, but he wouldn’t allow himself to even fantasize about the possibility. “She cares about you, Carm. Like really cares about you. That shit is special.” Richie told him.

“Boys, get over here.” Sugar yelled, in a motherly fashion.

Carmy and Richie immediately headed to join the others, knowing not to argue with her.

The two of them became hesitant when they realized they were walking towards a Twister mat. “Oh, come on, Nat,” Carmy started to protest.

“No buts, you are playing this game.” She told him, crossing her arms.

The five of you: you, Carmy, Sydney, Marcus, and Richie, all kicked your shoes off while Natalie grabbed the spinner.

It started off pretty mundane. “Right foot, red,” Natalie called out.

Richie “accidentally” slipped and fell, getting himself eliminated. But, you all knew that he just wanted to stop playing as soon as possible. He went to sit next to Sugar and laughed at the four of you as you struggled.

You and Carmy ended up face-to-face, only separated by a few inches. You giggled at Carmy trying to keep his hair out of his face.

Marcus got distracted by looking at you both swooning. His foot slipped, and he fell into the grass.

Natalie called out the next movement, which got you and Carmy separated enough, so you both could think straight.

Carmy ended up facing a different direction, but you could see Sydney’s face. She wiggled her eyebrows and looked between you and Carmy.

“Stop it,” you mouthed at her, trying to stop her teasing. An impossible goal.

She raised her eyebrows at you, challenging you. You didn’t know what she was going to do, but you didn’t think it boded well for you. You followed her gaze to the green circle her hand was currently resting on. She slid her hand to the side and pretended to slip.

“Oh, whoops,” she sarcastically whispered to you. With Sydney out, that left just you and Carmy. And all your friends watching.

Carmy couldn’t see it, but you watched Sydney join Natalie and move the spinner to the color she wanted. Natalie called it out, “right foot, blue, Carmy,”.

Not knowing about the secret plot, Carmy innocently followed the directions, putting you both in an awkward situation. Richie was the first to realize how unfortunate the position was, chuckling to himself.

You were currently in a downward dog position, and Carmy had his hands on either side of yours. Due to the recent “spin,” his chest was leaning against your back, and his hips were pressed forward against your ass.

Carmy tried to keep as much distance between the two of you as he could. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, but he was kind of stuck.

“There’s kids at this park, come on, Berzatto,” Richie teased. Everyone realized what he was implying and started chuckling.

Carmy’s face was bright red, and he was beyond embarrassed. The humor wasn’t lost on you, but you were more amused than Carmy was at the situation.

“Team bonding, Natalie? I think we’re getting a little more than that.” Richie joked again. You started laughing and trying desperately to not slip and fall. As you were laughing, your whole body shook…against Carmy.

Behind you, you heard a small groan from Carmy that only you could hear. Everyone was also unaware of how he was biting down on his lip. Carmy was trying to think of anything that wasn’t how close he was to you right now.

He normally had a million thoughts racing around his head, but right now there was only one.

Completely distracted, his foot slipped. He fell on top of you, sending you both crashing towards the ground.

He shifted his weight, so he wasn’t leaning all his weight on you. “Oh shit, sorry. Are you okay? You good?” He anxiously asked you. He moved his hand to cradle the back of your head, making sure it didn’t start bleeding when you bumped it on the ground.

“I’ll go grab some ice.” Sydney said, the others following her to give you both some privacy.

“Carmy, I’m fine. It was just a bump.” You assured him. It didn’t get rid of the worried look in his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. I should have been more careful.” He apologized. You could see the guilt in his eyes.

“I’m okay, I promise,” you tried unsuccessfully to convince him.

He moved his hand from the back of your head to brush a piece of hair behind your ear.

You grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards you, pressing a soft kiss against the bottom of his palm. It was a silent way of trying to calm Carmy down and assure him everything was fine.

“Besides, who else gets to say they’ve had the one and only Carmen Berzatto on top of them like this.” You teased him, gesturing at how he was still hovering above you.

He easily could have sat up and helped you up. It would’ve been even easier now that you’d pointed it out.

He stayed where he was.

If he moved any closer, his whole body would be pressed against yours. His lips were only millimeters away from yours, which made it so much harder for him to not kiss you.

“Wait…what?” He asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

You gave him a look that let him know that he already knew the answer.

“Are we just going to play this game forever? Where we dance around actually telling each other how we feel? You can’t possibly have any doubts that this is mutual. Our friends haven’t been teasing us about flirting for no reason. And you weren’t exactly subtle when you were practically thrusting your hips into my ass.” You explained.

For a second, you could see the gears turning in his head.

Then, he kissed you.

It was rushed but not short. Your arms naturally found their way around his neck. You both smiled into the kiss, grateful that it was finally happening.

Subconsciously, you both knew this day would come, but recently you’d been doubting it.

As Sydney dug through the cooler, Richie noticed you both over her shoulder.

“Oh my god. Cousin finally fucking went for it.” He exclaimed to himself. The rest of the group followed his gaze to see what he was talking about.

When they laid eyes on you and Carmy, all their jaws dropped.

“God, you’re wonderful,” Carmy mumbled against your lips. You both got distracted when your friends starting cheering for you. You could see the embarrassment on Carmy’s cheeks when he realized they were cheering for you both.

Richie even decided to whistle at you, which looked very strange to onlookers.

“Kinda forgot they were here,” Carmy whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

He bashfully stood up and helped pull you to your feet.

As you both walked back towards the picnic tables, you didn’t know what to do as they all stared at the two of you. Carmy grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, earning another cheer from Sugar and Sydney.

The two girls quickly pulled you both into a hug. “It’s about damn time,” Sydney told you, causing you to giggle.

“Now the bet can finally end,” Marcus added. After a second of silence, you and Carmy turned to look at him. “The bet?” You both asked in unison.

Instead of responding, Sydney, Marcus, and Natalie all handed Richie twenty bucks.

“We got bored watching you two pine over each other, so we started a bet. The three of us thought it would happen months ago, but Richie was in it for the long haul.” Sydney explained.

“You all had too much confidence in cousin’s confidence. I knew it would take him forever to finally fess up.” Richie said, smiling as he stuffed the money in his pocket.

“It wasn’t even me. It was all her.” Carmy said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. There wasn’t much of a reaction. “I’m sure they’re really shocked by that Carmy.” You said, sarcastically.

Carmy just chuckled and kissed your forehead.

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[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n and I welcome you to a part five. Five? I genuinely wasn't expecting this to turn into a series but look at us. Love this story to bits. But it wouldn't be here without all of you so thank you and enjoy!✨🤍

warning: shouting, swearing, fighting, mental health issues, panic attacks, past trauma.

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That day, Carmen had waited for you to show up, and the restaurant was decked out. Well, deked out in that shit hold meant a clean tablecloth, a couple of candles that he had found in the basement, and a nice warm meal he had made—the one you loved the most, the one that always, without fail, brought a smile to your face. Because right next to the fear of failing Mikey was the fear of failing you. He knew that he hadn't been himself. There was so much in his head that, at times, Carmy felt that there was someone there talking back at him. But then you would show up—or not even that. When the images from the past were crushing him, all Carmy needed was to see you. That was all, and suddenly he could breathe again. No one was screaming around him or at him.

"You're jittering like a little bitch", Richie had stepped out for a smoke when he found Carmen nearly bouncing like an atom from side to side in the back alley, as if he was trying to create friction for an explanation. The kid was a mess. Always a mess. But then he would go home or you would show up, and it's like a reset button would be pressed. "Fuck off", Carmen hissed at him, pulling out his phone for what felt like a million times and quickly glancing down the street. "What's going on, Carm?" Richie's voice was almost soothing. As if he had given up on the shit he usually did. As if he felt that this might be lethal. Might change something. Might lead to some absolute chaos.

Carmy let out a frustrated sigh, "She's not here... Should have been here thirty minutes ago... She... she should", running his hand through his hair in hopes of pushing the messy curls away from his face, Carmen pressed the call ID once more. "Your girl?", Richie asked, and Carmen just nodded. Cursing once the line went dead. His hand ran over his chest. You'd always tell him to take a deep breath and then exhale in three. A shiver ran down his back as he could almost just make out your voice telling him that.

Richie's video pierced the silence, "Has she been okay?", had Carmen always wanted to punch Richie, or was this a sensation that only bloomed now? Was he trying to tell Carmy that he had missed something? That he missed something, but Richie didn't. "No, she has not fucked been okay, okay?", Carmen spat, moving to walk again, shaking his hands as the light needles started to pinch the very tips. "She's been upset; she wakes up screaming; she pukes most nights; she...", he blurred you. And now all he could see was you. You all pale by the toilet. You holding back tears. You pushing him away only to hold onto him so tight that Carmy could barely breathe. The spark that Carmen loved so much within you was fading. You weren't you, and he just let that be. Let you self-sabotage.

"One day", you had told him the first time you had woken up screaming, drenched in sweat, "I'll tell you, just not now". And what ripped at Carmy the most was that those dreams had stopped. Not immediately, but they did, and you slept through the night perfectly. And you had told him that it was because he was there holding you. Because you felt safe. Carmy made someone feel safe, and now... you didn't? You were screaming again.

"Fuck", Carmen barked, kicking the trash can, clenching his first up so that he wouldn't yank it over. "I called her", and Carmy almost missed that because Richie's voice was barely a whisper. "What?", Carmen turned to him, stepping closer. Richie throws his cigarette to the ground. "That night after the... when she cut her hand... I just", the man admitted, and for the first time, Carmy was seeing emotions that he hadn't seen before in his face. "Richie, what the fuck are you talking about?", Carmy said, still confused, "I called her because I..", Richie stopped, running his hand over his mouth, "I called her a burden from New York and told some pretty shit...", "You fucking what?", now Carmy was all up in Richie's face, and the sheer anger in his blue eyes...

"I called to apologize, cousin", "Have you been giving her shit this whole time?", Carmen was a step away from ripping at Richie's shirt. Because fuck, does it all make sense now? "Carmy", Richie pleaded, "Have you been giving her shit, you son of a bitch?", now his fingers were gripping the material of the beef shirt, wanking at it and ripping the fabric apart. Shouting shit. Carmen didn't even understand himself until his knuckles came in contact with the cold wall, and he realized he had missed Richie's face.

Carmen was calling your phone over and over again as he made his way back. He ignored the street signs and the red stop lights. They could all fuck themselves. You were going to be there. You were. You didn't make it to the restaurant because you got lost in unpacking. Yeah, that's what it was. And you... And he was going to apologize. Crowl to you if he had to. How did he manage to miss Richie giving you shit and eating at you? Carmy left his car half on the street as he ran towards the door. Skipping every other step as he rushed to your floor. Heart beat faster and faster with every step as the number of doors changed.

Carmen wasn't sure what he was truly expecting, but it sure wasn't to see Claire sitting in the living room, flipping through some of your art books. Carmen had to blink a couple of times because this couldn't be true, right? She smiled at him the moment her eyes landed on Carmen, but he only looked at her as if she was a dead body walking. "What... why are you here?", Carmen stuttered, shaking his head as Claire stepped closer to him. "I wanted to surprise you. You didn't answer any of my calls and..."

But he doesn't even let her finish as he turns away from her shouting, "Y/N, Y/N!" Carmen yanked the bedroom door open, nearly tripping over one of his shoes that was thrown across the room. It was a mess. The drawer that held your day-to-day clothes was empty. The hoodie—his hoodie—that you had worn when Carmy left a couple of hours ago was thrown to the floor carelessly. "Fuck no, Y/N!", Carmen rushed to the bathroom, but there was nothing there. A messy sink opened up cabinets.

"What did you say? What did you say?", he turned back around because he could feel Claire following him all of this time. "Carmen, she moved out. Didn't you know?", she said in such a soft voice that made Carmen want to vomit. "Moved... What? What? No...", his brain felt like it was overheating. You can't be moving out. No, you wouldn't. You...

"Your roommate", Claire said, and Carmy had lost the last piece of coolness he had. "What fucking roommate, Claire?", he barked out, making the woman step back slightly. "What roommate? That was my fucking girlfriend", he spat out. Claire looked at him with big eyes. Eyes that were almost glistening with tears but that didn't pull a single string in Carmy's heart. His world was crumbling there and then. Right at this moment. It was slipping through his fingers.

"I'll love you forever", Carmy had whispered one night. You were pressed against his naked chest, running your fingers over his tattoos. You hadn't been talking for some time. The comforting silence was more than enough. Your naked frame was so close to his that it felt like you were seeping into his skin, and Carmy never wanted that feeling to fade. "You don't believe in forevers", you muttered, pressing a light kiss to his chest before your eyes met his, and Carmen needed to do a double inhale because the share beauty of you was so raw, so real, so here, so his, and so unimaginably gorgeous, right here in his arms. He had managed to find you. Someone who understood. Someone who was okay with his shit. Someone who saw him whole and didn't turn away. Someone willing to embrace him even with all the trauma and scars that were still hurting. "I believe in a forever with you", Carmy had whispered, and the way your eyes had sparked. Carmy had never seen eyes shine so brightly before, and he had ignited them. He only hoped that you saw the way you were healing him too.

"Fuck", Carmen said, nearly collapsing to the floor when the ringing sound faded, and he could hear something on the other end. "Thank you, thank you; Where are you?", he muttered, starting to pace once again. But there was no answer. Carmy pulled the phone away from his ear, watching the seconds running on his screen. You had answered; he wasn't imagining it. "Y/N, baby, where are you?", Carmy begged. He had no right to; he knew that, but he still did.

"The other girlfriend didn't pick up her phone this time?", you asked so bitterly that the blood in Carmy's body had frozen as he fell silent. "There's no other...", Carmy barely whispered, and you let out a bitter laugh while still sniffing. "She walked into our home, Carmen, OUR home! Shinning like a fucking Christmas tree", the words felt like venom. Stinging. Poisonous. Raw. Your breathing was uneven.

"I'm not...", he rasped out once more, not sure how or what to say when someone honked in the background of your call, "Are you fucking driving? Get out of the car! Stop the car", he raised his voice instantly. You were going to die. Crash the car. Drive into someone. Not stop in time. Like Mikey, you were going to rip the last good thing out of him and leave him alone in this shity world. But it's like you weren't even listening to him. "I saw the messages", a cry left your lips, "You fucking shit". Carmen fell numb at that. His eyes raised to meet a lost-looking Claire, who was still there, standing a handful of steps away from him.

"How long, huh? Was I not good enough?", your voice pierced Carmy's mind. Now. Only now did he realize how this looked. What he's been doing What he's been putting you through because he was selfish. A selfie piece of shit because he was holding onto something. Like a kid too scared to give up a pacifier. "Speak, you fucking ass, own up to it", you said in a loud voice. He could feel your pain now. Almos heard every single tear that was slipping down your cheeks. "She's the only good fucking thing from my past, okay? My family—all of them loved her; she—everyone wanted her. She made me feel stable like it's... but... but I'm not", Carmen didn't get to finish his words as the most painful sob rang out. Somehow even more painful than the night he held you in the bathroom. Just that night, he didn't know what had caused it; now it was him. All of this was on him.

"Fuck you, Camen, fuck you", you crocked out. "No, listen, let me..." he pleaded, but you were having none of it. "Be happy with her then. Fucking thrive!", you spat with an angry rasp, yelling at someone for cutting in front of you, leaving Carmy to cringe at the thought of you crashing the car once more. "No, listen, you're not listening", he tried much softer now. He wasn't sure what to do. How was he going to find you? Should he go to his car? Drive around? Make a false call to the police? What the fuck was he supposed to do?

"No, you fucking listen! I gave you everything. I gave up everything for you fucking...", another sob slipped past your lisp, and Carmen could hear the car speeding up with every word you said, "I did everything for you, and you do this after everything? You have no heart, you asshole!". Carmen felt tears slipping down his cheeks; his throat was tight, and his chest heavy. But he was fighting every single thought that was telling him this was it. He couldn't. He didn't know how to function without you. You were the thing holding him together. He couldn't...

"I love you; come back, yeah? We will figure this out", he pleaded again, gripping the phone so tightly in his hand and ripping at the roots of his hair with the other. The silence fell for a moment. For a moment, a flicker of hope ignited. You heard him, yeah. You will be back soon. Carmen will explain it all. He will make it better. He will save this. He will get you back. You will be there, and his heart won't explode. "Fuck you! Now you can get rid of your New York burden forever", the words washed over him like a wave. Like a wave, you weren't expecting to crash over you. Like something had wrapped itself around your leg and yanked you under. "No, Y/N, no, hey", Carmen said, but the line went dead. The beeping filled his ears. And for a second, Carmen thought that was the monitor telling him, well, pal, your heart just stopped. You've died. In approximately less than a minute, your body won't have enough oxygen. Your brain will die, and you will be gone.

With shaky hands, Carmy dialed your number again and again and again and again, and it went straight to your voicemail. "No, fuck", he tried once more, hoping and praying to whatever god he believed in. You couldn't walk away. He needed you. He couldn't do this without you. "Pick up, pick the fucking...Fuck", Carmen yelled, throwing the phone at the wall. Screaming at the top of his lungs as he watches the light pieces scattered across the floor.

"Carmy", his name, made him want to vomit as he turned his head to the side. "Get the fuck out", he roared, pointing his finger to the door. "Carmen, baby", Claire pleaded, daring to step closer but regretting that decision straight away when Carmy's hands gripped her upper arm painfully tight. "Im not your fucking baby!", he roared, making her shiver. He wasn't seen clearly. He wasn't seeing at all. Solid colors only. The drumming in his ears was so painful that he wanted to rip his head open and make it stop. "Carm", Claire pleaded, trying to touch his cheek, but he stopped her palm midway before shoving her close to the door. "Get the fuck out, or I throw you out the window".

Carmen doesn't remember when or how she left. The static in the room was driving him insane. He walked aimlessly around the apartment. He choked for air. He shouted your name. He shouted for help. Clawing with his fingers at his throat because he couldn't... there was no air. Nothing. He hit his head a couple of times with his hands, aimlessly turning around and searching. Searching for you. But you weren't here. You will not be here. Never will be here. He wasn't sure how long he trashed the place, throwing things around.

Carmy only remembered popping two pills in his mouth. He remembered digging through the drawers. Looking for any piece of clothing that belonged to you. He remembered crawling into bed still fully clothed, shoes on, jacket on. Pressing your shirt closer to his chest, breathing in the scent of you. Shutting his eyes as tightly as possible, trying to imagine you here. You're just in the bathroom. You will come back soon. You will lie beside him. You will go back to bed. He could sleep now. He would not be alone. He was alone.

"Look at me", he gripped your chin firmly, "Say it again and fucking mean it". You were trembling. Jittering to get away. To push back, but that only earned you a firmer grip. "I'm no one. Will never be enough", you whispered, trying to hold onto his wrist so he wouldn't shatter your neck. "And?", he shook your whole body with the yank of his hand. There were going to be bruises tomorrow. "And I should be thankful that you are here with me and that you spare me your time", you muttered, a sickly smirk spreading across his face. "Exactly, you worthless piece of shit."

Your body jerked up only to be met by the firm press of someone's palm pushing into your chest, making you let out a scream in return. A scream that was met with touche down your back and a feeling of a warm embrace. A calm heartbeat. Steady. Familiar. You felt stuffy and warm. Sticky from the sweat your shirt was soaked in. Clinging to your body. Feeling like the hands that gripped you in your sleep. You quickly moved to pull at it, trying to free yourself from that dirty feeling. To let your body be free. Scratch that uncomfortable, sick feeling. You dropped the damp material away, clenching your fingers at the still-lingering sweat there that you wanted off.

Then you remembered the feeling of someone's hands that still lingered, jerking away and nearly falling from the bed. Only to be met with the same arms holding onto you. And you let them guide you into that same warmth. Your damp skin presses against the soft skin. "You're in Copenhagen, not London", the voice said. That deep, calm, soothing voice rang in your ear, and your fingers instantly curled around the biceps. Before moving to graze his side, holding, savoring, and grounding, "I've got you, bunny".

The air was much crisper here. Mornings so much calmer. No one cursed in the streets. No one shouted. Everyone, even the people you didn't know, greeted you with a quick hello as they passed you with their bikes. Your mind was as scrambled, if not more so, as the day you came here. How you managed to find, sit, and navigate your way here was beyond you. Because you weren't here. Mentally, you felt dead. Drained to the point where you cried for the first 48 hours here. Then sleep for approximately the same time. Nothing made sense anymore. The gaping, black, bleeding hole in your chest ached without any signs of stopping anytime soon.

"Hi", you muttered, stepping into the much warmer building and enveloping in the smells that made your stomach growl. The guy in front of you smiled, "At the back, you know it", he pointed towards the back room. "Thank you, Chris", you smiled at him softly, tugging at your scarf as you walked past the front desk. The kitchen was silent. Someone was humming, and you could hear a light tune of music coming from someone's headphones.

The blue eyes caught your gaze almost immediately. Dropping a piece of dough onto the table before whipping his hand on his apron. "Finish up in here, chefs. I'll be back in a few", his voice was firm. But so much calmer. Straight. Strong but calm. Maybe it was his self-esteem that made every sound that came out of his mouth undeniably soothing.

"Hey, bunny", Luca said, his hands wrapped around you, with you two still standing in the middle of the kitchen. You buried your face in his chest. Breathing in his cologne. "Hi, do you have a minute?", you tilted your head up at him. Sometimes you forgot the height difference between the two of you. The way he towed over you. If you wanted to reach his shoulders, you would have to stand on your tippy toes. It's hard to imagine that, at some point, you used to be higher than him. Until puberty hit and the roles were reversed. "For you always", he said with a light kiss on your forehead as he guided you out the back.

That's what it was. Luca was the polar opposite of Carmen. Where Carmen's anxiety only edged you, Luca was a wall of steel, calm, and inner peace. Making a perfect shelter for your anxiety and fears. "Did you manage to sleep at all after I left?", Luca asked, handing you a freshly baked rabarberhorn that you didn't even notice him picking up as you walked out. Tears welled in your eyes as you held on to the still-warm baked good.

"Hey, what's this all about, huh?", Luca tilted your head up softly at the sight of the tears, pulling the little outdoor chair you had sat on closer to him. "You're too fucking good to me", you muttered, watching his strong gaze. Luca let out a sigh, leaning closer to you, "I promised to always be there, didn't I?", "You could just walk away and trick me and...", his palm cupped your cheek. "We went over this many times. I'm not them, and you're worth it," he said as you leaned in and pressed your forehead against his. Letting the fog in your brain ease up slowly. Luca ordered you to eat up shortly, muttering something about how he added extra rhubarb and marzipan just for you and that you shouldn't tell anyone about that because he might get a line of unhappy customers.

Luca lit up a cigarette, offering it to you after a couple of drags. "Did he call?", the question stiffened your bones, but you knew that, in a way, you still owed him a full story of what happened. I mean, you just showed up at his house, snot running down your nose, eyes as red as if you were smoking weed for the past week." Called, texted, left voicemails, sent an email, even", you let a warm inhaler ripple through your system. Welcoming the sensation before puffing out a cloud of smoke. "I didn't reply to any of it", you chuckled lightly, "yet I tell myself that I don't care, but I... I stop and shiver constantly at the thought of something happening to him. I would be the one to blame if he..."

Luka shook his head, taking the cigarette from your fingers. "A, it's good that you haven't, and B, you wouldn't be". You wanted to argue back, but the look in Luca's eyes was clear enough. He wouldn't back away until you agreed, so you dropped it. "Well, if not that, then I feel guilty for leaving Sydney and Marcus there; I care about them", you picked at the side of the pastry, not lifting your gaze up. "Don't write me off as a dick, bunny but..,", Luca muttered, "You care about them, Carmy included, but who cares about you?"

You wanted to argue about that, but you stopped mid-sentence. There was truth in his voice. Those people were mostly strangers. You weren't meeting up with them. You didn't even have their number, now that you thought about it. Chicago was a ghost town for you. Unfamiliar and cold. They all probably haven't even noticed that you were gone. Was Carmy with Claire now? Maybe she moved in... but in a week?

You stood up quickly, dropping the rabarberhorn on your chair as you motioned for Luca to push his chair further away before you set on his lap, hiding your tears in the crook of his neck. You felt him shaking his head, but he held back on the words that were lingering at the tip of his tongue. Luca's fingers quickly brushed through your hair as he held you close. Just like he had been for the past week.

"Did you tell him about Ezra?", now this question tore through your body as if someone had come up and started skinning you there and then. You knew that Luca was smart. You know that from what you told him, he was putting the dots together. You shook your head just as another wave of tears rolled down your cheeks, and you clenched Luca's blue shirt between your fingers. "Why, bun? That's some serious shit you...", but you cut him off midway, "Because Carmen was staring to remind me of him".

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @nishinoyahhh @thewulf @shewasthelimit @chatitajens @azxulaa @hidingfromtex @randomhoex @hopplessdreamer @lostinheavensworld @jackierose902109 @gallaghrh @gabbycoady13 @harrysmatcha @lady-bellyn @lovejoyenjoyer @infinitelycharmed23 @royalestrellas @hanula18 @thoughtfulmoonchild911 @buckys-winter-child there's so many of you here now, my little heart is so happy 🥺🥺🥺

[berzatoe]

I Can See You

Warnings: swearing, smoking, smut, fingering, oral (M receiving), p in v, cream pie, breeding kink, spanking, dom!carmy, sub!reader, lots of dirty talk, Carmy is mean.

Pairings: Carmen Berzatto x F!reader

Synopsis: reader is a new hire at the bear set to replace sydney while she goes abroad, and she and carmen do not get along. On a particularly stressful night, they find a great way to sort out their differences.

Authors note: okay I was listening to Taylor’s song “I can see you” and this came to mind so here. There’s not enough Carmy smut out there so I am contributing. ALSO ACCEPTING REQUEST RN SO PLEASE SEND!!!

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

—————————

The clock was ticking. A few minutes to open and so far, everything that could go wrong, had gone wrong.

When you agreed to fill in as Sous for sydney while she went abroad to study in Copenhagen, you didn’t realize what you were getting yourself into.

Night after night, you had anxiety levels in that kitchen similar to those of someone being hunted by wild animals.

That’s why they call it the bear— the thought occurred to you the first rush you worked. Richie and Carmen had almost killed each other, Tina nearly walked out, you were down an oven and the damn fridge was broken. It felt like you were running for your life as you tried to gain control of that kitchen.

“Chef, I said hands.” His firm voice cut through your thoughts.

“Yes, chef.” you followed his voice and took his place mixing as he began chopping vegetables. His biceps flexed with the heavy rhythm of the knife coming down against the board, veins swelling with tension, knuckles growing white.

He was another problem. He was the essence of the bear. You two butted heads like no other. Ever since sydney hired you to take her place for her leave, he’d been at your throat, hungry for your blood.

You were an ingenue of sorts at a prestigious chef school, and went on to work in one of his competing restaurants in New York at a very young age. You had come in with confidence of your abilities, and had different ways of doing things than Carmy. He couldn’t quite accept it, and you knew he didn’t respect you just yet.

But you craved his approval, for some reason. Something about Carmy made you thirst for his praise. You were constantly showing him new dishes you wanted on the menu to only be turned down. You two would easily get in screaming matches over wether to dice or mince, which spices to add, how long to cook, until you were out of breath and both needed a smoke break.

It didn’t help that he was so goddamn handsome. Watching him work, watching him be impassioned by his work, in command of his staff, it set something off in you. Even when he was screaming at you, there would be a glint in his eye, a vein popping in his neck, or a tone he took that would have you clenching your thighs together.

Now, you stood next to him staring at his strong arms and hands cutting vegetables, falling apart because you’re so stressed and all you can think about is those hands around your throat.

“Chef! What the hell!!” carmy shouted

You’d somehow poured the entire stock pot of sauce all over the oven.

You were stood there just staring at it emptily, trying to understand how it had happened.

“What were you thinking?!” Carmy yelled again.

“I can make more! I’ll get right on it, Chef.”

“We are fucking opening in exactly one minute, chef, we needed that sauce. We NEEDED THAT FUCKING SAUCE.”

“It was only half of the batch, the other one is still there.” You pointed toward the other pot, still heating. Then Carmen let out a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose as your eyes widened.

The second timer for it immediately went off, meaning it had reset. The alarm rang through the kitchen like a death siren. The sauce was cooking for twice as long as it was supposed to.

“Yup, looks like you burnt that sauce. Congratu-fucking-lations. We can’t open. Are you incompetent chef? Are you stupid?”

The words hurt. “I was going to take care of that sauce before you called for hands!”

“This is the 5th thing you’ve fucked up this morning. You’re ruining my open.”

“If you ever listened to me, I swear I have a more efficient way to do this where we don’t need to call hands and everybody has a set job—“

“This isn’t your restaurant, chef.” He cut you off with a cold stare to match his words, eyes piercing into your soul.

You huffed and spun around, scared if you stayed everyone would see you cry. You ran to the back, out the door, and sat against the brick wall of the alleyway. You rolled your head into your hands, trying to collect yourself.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Richie’s voice rung out. He stood leant up against the fence, smoking.

“Oh god,” you sniffed, looking up and quickly wiping tears away. You didn’t answer, instead, you reached out your hand, silently asking for a smoke.

Richie obliged and continued, “you know, Carmy is really hard on you, huh?”

You stayed quiet, taking a long drag and looking off to the city as you exhaled.

“He has a really hard time with people. He’s not like me. And I think he’s really threatened by you, cuz you’re so good. He had to be a control freak and work for it, but you’re just good.”

You pondered this for a moment, “you really think that?”

“Uh, yeah sweetheart. You’re a natural. He has to at least believe he’s in control or else he’d go apeshit. Also, I think he sort of has a thing for you, so it affects his focus… or whatever…”

You paused. You never thought of the possibility that it could be mutual. That he’d lose focus looking at you the way you so often did with him. But he had just been such an asshole, and you were angry, and god, you wanted to make him pay.

“Richie, I don’t think that could be true. He doesn’t like me. He’s so mean to me.”

Richie just chuckled and then put the cigarette the two of you had been sharing out.

“I know the kid. Get back in there, make him think he’s in charge, and do your thing, little miss sunshine.” Richie smiled and squeezed your shoulders. That was his nickname for you, because of your general sunny disposition. It had changed the place a lot.

The rest of your shift until close, you did what Richie suggested. You made Carmen think he was in charge. You followed orders with a smile and a “yes, chef”, you trailed after him and cleaned up his messes without him noticing, and soon enough the two of you were doing a successful close, allowing the rest of the staff to go home early.

Through the night, you’d also found a way to combat how distracted Carmy could make you. Richie’s intel had allowed you to flip the tables on him. Instead of focusing on how worked up he got you, you started focusing on how worked up you could get him.

You’d always stare at him for just a second too long after saying “yes, chef”, you’d squeeze pass him, intentionally pushing your body close to his. You’d find opportunities to bend over in front of him, stretch out, let your hand linger on his too long when he handed you something. Anything to be close, any chance you got. You were doing your best to see if what Richie had said held any truth to it.

You’d almost given up, you thought for sure something would happen, but the two of you had wrapped things up and were turning down the lights in the restaurant as you got ready to leave.

Carmy had been suspiciously quiet since everyone went home and you were beginning to feel awkward in the silence.

You were standing in front of your locker, grabbing your bag, when Carmy turned around and said, “Wanna tell me what the fuck was up with you tonight?”

You swallowed and turned around to face him, “I don’t know what you mean.”

He took a step closer to you, “I think you do.”

He walked the small distance between your lockers until he was flush against you. He leaned forward until you were cheek to cheek, his lips to your ear as he whispered, “you think you could ruin my open, then tease me like a desperate little whore the whole fucking shift, and get away with it?”

His words went straight to your pussy. Your heart was beating faster than it had ever before, here you were; finally caught by the wild beast hunting you down. He’d fallen for your bait. You smirked.

He lifted his head from your neck where he was planting kisses, seeing the grin on your face. He gripped your jaw with a firm hand, forcing you to look at him.

“Oh, you’re proud of yourself, hmm?” His hand trailed down and came to rest at your collar bones. You moaned in response.

He knew what you wanted. His hand closed around your neck and you smiled again.

Carmen closed his lips around yours. It was unexpected, and even though his hand was rough against your neck, the kiss was slow and gentle. It felt almost nervous, hesitant maybe, and that just made you even more desperate for him. You let out a whimper, begging him to give your more, and his tongue licked into your mouth as his other hand came up to squeeze your breast.

After that he went feral. Pushing up against you, clutching onto your throat, licking roughly and desperately into your mouth, grinding his hard cock against your heat.

He came back up for air, staring at you for a moment, searching your eyes for any regret, hesitancy, anything but what he found; which was pure, eager, lust.

He trailed kisses down your neck and chest and latched onto your nipple as he quickly began pushing down your pants. His calloused hands slowly began teasing the soft delicate skin of your thighs, rubbing soft circles so close to your core.

You whined, and in response he let out a light teasing chuckle as he pushed his hand pass your folds, immediately landing his thumb right against your clit.

Your body convulsed at this, and he loved it. He studied your face, looking for every reaction and using them as cues as he began circling his thumb against your clit.

“Yeah?” He breathed, clearly enjoying it too, “is this what you wanted? Hmm? You’re so fucking wet for me. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you wanted me to touch you?”

Any nervousness you had detected in Carmy before was long gone. He was in control. You were letting him be in control, again, and he was about to ravish you for it.

“Answer me.” His thumb stopped and he tightened his grip around your neck.

“I’ve wanted you since-“ he began rubbing your clit again.

“Since- my first shift- I-“ his ring finger poked at your entrance.

“I-I can never stop thinking about you and-“ his finger fully entered you now and you instantly clenched around it.

“And- I always fantasize about you fucking me which is why i can’t do any of my work right!” You spit out quickly as his finger began pushing in and out of you. At this, he curled it up to meet your spongey spot deep within and you let out a yelp.

“Oh poor baby” he said as he slowed his movements, adding another finger and thrusting them in and out at a torturous pace. Your back was still pressed up against the lockers and the sting of the metal carving into your skin heightened all of your sensations.

“Stupid little slut can’t do her job because she wants to fuck her boss so bad, is that it?” He thrusts his finger into you hard.

“Please” you begged.

“Please what? What do you want?”

“Go faster, I’m so close!”

He instantly removed his fingers from your and you felt the emptiness like a hole.

You went to complain before he clamped a hand around your mouth, “Don’t say a thing. You’re lucky I even gave you my fingers after the shit you pulled tonight, baby. You think you can tell me what to do? You think that’s how this is gonna work? I would just let you cum and then give you my cock and make you cum again?” He laughed.

His eyes were dark and full of want, his cock was hard and it was so painfully evident through his pants. It looked so big and you couldn’t get your mind off of it.

He noticed you staring and began undoing his belt. “Get on your knees.”

You gulped and froze.

He put a hand on your shoulder, pushing you down until you were kneeling, “I said, get. On. Your. Knees.”

He finished undoing his pants and you were face to face with his long, hard, thick cock.

“Be a good girl and suck it, baby” he said. You started towards him before he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you back.

“What do you say when I ask you to do something, darling?” His tone was condescending, but you answered nonetheless.

“Yes, chef.”

He groaned and rolled his head back, “yeah, that’s right, good fuckin’ girl” pushing your head back towards his cock as an invitation. You accepted.

You were brutal with your movements, sucking and licking and pushing him as deep as you could get him. He was anything but shy with letting you know how much he enjoyed it, his grip tightening around your hair and pulling and pushing ever so slightly, his hips unintentionally bucking up, forcing his cock down the back of your throat.

And the sounds he was making, oh, they could only be from your dreams. He was unraveling at the seams and whimpering like a dog when you reached your hand up to cup his balls and lightly massage them, he pushed your head so far down you couldn’t breathe.

“Oh my fucking go-d” he said before pulling you off him with a “pop” and staring at your fucked-out face.

Blown out eyes stared back up at him, saliva coating swollen lips, mascara smudged and running, hair a mess. He was proud of himself, and the sight turned him on to no end. He knew if he let you continue he’d cum. However, you were relentless and as soon as he let up on your hair, you dove back down.

“Okay baby, that’s enough.” He said, tearing you away again.

“Why?” You asked genuinely, and it made his heart flutter.

“Cuz if you don’t stop, you’re gonna make m’cum. Can’t do that yet. Wanna do it deep, deep inside ya’… if that’s okay?” He whispered gently, cupping your face and wiping your cheeks.

“Please, god please.” You cried, nodding your head. He grabbed your hand and helped you up, leading you to his office.

There, carmy turned you around and placed, gentle, sweet kisses along your shoulder before whispering, “are you sure this is okay?”

To which, you nodded desperately. But that wasn’t enough for him.

“I need you to say it, honey. I need you to say that you want this. That you want me to fuck you right here on this desk, and fill you up with my cum.”

“I want you Carmy, I want you so bad.”

“Say it.”

“I want you to fuck me on this desk and fill me up with your cum.” You whined, slightly embarrassed, pussy swollen and begging to be fucked.

He pushed you down until you were bending over the desk, chest flush against it. He got a good look at how much you truly wanted him.

“Jesus Christ, prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen” he said, roughly spreading you.

“So fucking wet and tight too, could feel you squeezing my fingers earlier.” He spit into his hand and cupped your pussy with it, rubbing the spit down and over your folds.

You felt the tip of his cock tease your hole, slowly making little circles, just barely entering. At this point, you were so ready for him this actually felt mean. You needed relief and he knew it, he saw it, saw your clit throbbing and your legs shaking, body blushing all over. You beginning to make a sound you’ve never heard yourself make before.

He starts to softly comfort you but you know he’s proud of himself, with a smirk on his face as he does it, “ssshhh-sshhh… it’s okay, baby. I know, I know, it’s a lot. I just wanna make sure I don’t hurt you so I’m gonna start real slow, okay? Know you need me. Gonna take good care of you, promise” he slowly starts to inch himself in, and you have to admit, his size surprised you. You were glad for his patience.

When he finally burrows himself all the way within you, you both let out a moan in-sync at the new feeling. Both taking a second to adjust, you tighten and release your walls, making him groan.

“So. Fucking. Tight.” He says between thrusts as he begins, setting a good pace.

Once Carmen is finally fucking you, finally moving within you, taking you raw, you feel free. You let go of all the stress from the restaurant and let him drill it out of you, and you’re sure you’re serving the same purpose for him.

“S’good… so fucking good…” carmen is saying as he fucks you, pace picking up, getting more rough by the second. The praise makes you melt, you squeeze him again and revel in the loud moan you get out of it.

He grabs another fistful of your hair and pulls your head back, making your back arch and the position hit so much deeper. He leans over your body and reaches down to rub your clit with the hand not on your head. It makes you tremble under him.

“Doing s’well for me baby… knew this was all you wanted…. All I could ever think about too… taking you back here… fucking you hard and good just to shut you up… emptying my load deep inside you… leaving you to work the rest of your shift all filled up with me… you’ve been such a little tease every day since you got here… giving me those looks across the kitchen, wearing those little outfits in on your days off, pushing my buttons just to get a rise out of me… I’ve wanted this for so long, pretty baby. You’re so fucking pretty”

You cry out at his drunken confession. It gets you so worked up, you’re almost there, and you can tell he is too.

“Carmy…” you whine, feeling him so deep, hitting that spot every single time without pause, working you up and up and up.

“Yes, baby?”

“Cum inside of me, please. I want it all. Want you to fill me up. M’sclose too. Please please please, fill me up Carmy.” You’re practically in tears and it does something to Carmy. He hears you.

He quickens his pace, getting sloppier, rougher, more sporadic, the two of you making noises like animals, and soon he takes a hand and slaps it down across your ass, causing a loud thwack, as you scream in euphoria. He does it one more time, hard enough to leave a welt, before spilling his seed deep, deep inside of your pussy.

As he pumps his seed into you, again and again, you feel that coil come undone and are seeing stars before you know it, panting and moaning and sweating as Carmy holds you in his arms and snaps his hips back into you occasionally.

He’s collapsed over you on the desk, the two of you exhausted and decompressing. He places a few kisses against your cheek before standing up and pulling himself out, groaning again at the sight. He sees your welted ass, pussy red and swollen, knees shaking, body rising up and down from being out of breath and he instinctively pulls your dead weight into his office chair and runs to get you a water.

You decide that you and Carmy have found an incredible, healthy way to work out your differences in the kitchen.

[sydcarmyfan]

A book, a white coat, and a donut: Sydney’s gifts in s2 and the men behind them

In s2, Syd received 3 gifts: 1. A book from her dad. 2. A white coat from Carmy. 3. Marcus named a donut “Sydney’s donut”. Each gift is thoughtful, but I find Syd’s different reaction to each gift interesting.

When Marcus informs Syd and Carmy that he created a donut and called it after Syd, Syd quickly turns to Carmy to tell him that they need to workshop the name. However, with Carmy’s gift, she becomes emotional and puts it on a few minutes later. With the book that her dad gave her, Sydney carries it with her to Kasama which implies that she wants to discuss with Carmy on their inspiration/reset date, but Carmy never shows up. Later on, we see Syd bring up Coach K, but the man is too preoccupied to notice that she wants to discuss Coach K and the book with him. Carmy sweetie, do you smell what Syd is cooking? By the time he realizes that she has a book that she’s drawing inspiration from, Syd just plays it off as if it is just another book she is just reading.

Out of the three gifts, only 2 are the most important to her. When her partner is AWOL, the book guides her and gives her the necessary information to lead the crew to victory later on. The coat makes her look sharp as she leads the crew. Not all heroes wear capes, some wear a Thom Browne coat. Although calling a donut after Syd is a nice compliment, it doesn’t really add much (Sorry Marcus). I’m saying all of this to say that Syd’s reactions to the gifts tell us that her dad and Carmy are very important to her and she values their gifts more than anything else.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The new beginning

First of all: I have all my hopes put on this baby. She's the new beginning, she's the reset.

My headcanon is that her name is Gean or Jean or Jane. Maybe Gina, which would be the Italian version. Will explain why later on, if I'm right.

Second of all: She's the living proof that with love, you can go from this:

to this:

I expect the same thing for Carmy. That he can mend every damaged or broken relationship he is into. That he's given all the chances he needs. That he can redeem himself in a heartbreakingly beautiful way, like his mother did.

And that the new Berzattos are a testament to that. That they don't repeat the family history. And that the "Wild Cherry" and Sugar, which in Italian tradition is called: "Dame di Visciola" (Lady of the sour cherry) are the new Matriarch and the firstborn of a whole new and healthy lineage. Nothing like the ones who came before them. That will be the best way to honor them.

To make Dame di Visciola, you have to take fresh wild cherries, put them in a large glass jar, add sugar, and wait for the magic to happen in the sun.

And this magic, I hope affects everyone around them, whoever comes close. Carmy, Sydney, Emmanuel, Richie, Eva, etc... I want a new beginning and that baby, IMO, is the sign that I'm getting it.

Whatever happened so far, is no more.

It's a brand new day now:

Third of all: The Groundhog day ended when she was born.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[sluttyhenley]

Tag Game: First 10 Lines Challenge

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able to and see if there are any patterns!

Tagged by @starrybouquet - thank you!! 💖

bluebirds singing a song masters of the air, buck/bucky/marge

Marge was puttering around in the kitchen; she felt like she’d been there all day. Avoiding John Egan, though she wouldn’t admit that unless pressed. Gale had to go into the office to put out a fire. He made it sound like a literal fire and now there was no buffer between her and John, no one to smooth out John’s increasingly obvious discomfort with her.

nothing but blue skies from now on masters of the air, buck/bucky/marge

Marge pulled back the curtains and looked out the window to see clouds piling up outside, dark and heavy with the promise of rain. A storm was brewing. She grimaced. John was supposed to arrive a couple of hours ago; instead, he had gotten stuck somewhere around Douglas when the storm hit, and now it was rolling their way. With the weather growing worse, they had no idea when he would arrive.

can't tell your best buddy (that you love him) top gun: maverick, rooster/phoenix

Phoenix is tipsy and her feet hurt. She’s been out all night, one of those mandatory fun, social events with the other officers in her squadron, but it had been fun. It had been fun and she had dressed up. She’s wearing one of the most impractical pairs of shoes she owns, and she’s definitely regretting that choice now.

come monday, it'll be alright top gun: maverick, gen

Missiles fire all around her. Bob is in her ear, watching her back, a second pair of eyes. Adrenaline floods her veins but still she doesn’t panic. They can all get home. Nothing about her training could have ever really prepared her for what it is to be in an actual firefight against enemy pilots.

you rattle my brain top gun: maverick, rooster/phoenix

The thing about Natasha Trace, callsign Phoenix, is that she’s really difficult to ignore. The first time he sees her walk into a room, Rooster can’t seem to stop the way his entire focus zeroes in on her.

been around a time or two top gun: maverick, maverick/phoenix

Phoenix was puttering around her apartment downtown, thinking about dinner. It was late and the sun had dropped below the horizon long ago. She couldn’t even get off the air station before sunset. She opened her refrigerator door and contemplated ordering in.

put a hold on my heart top gun: maverick, rooster/phoenix

Rooster didn’t call her when he got back stateside, and it shouldn’t even matter. It’s just that, she told him she was recalled back to TOPGUN. She thought maybe he’d say something. It hurts. She wishes it didn’t, wishes she was mad at him. And she is; the anger is there, too, but it’s mostly hurt.

made a lot of mistakes in my mind the bear, sydney/carmy

The restaurant is practically empty now. There’s only a handful of the staff left, and the streets are almost quiet in the aftermath of their soft opening. Sydney can’t stop the list running through her head. It’s a loop: things done, things in process, things still needing to get done.

my heart is working overtime 9-1-1, buck/eddie

Eddie has been going on dates. So many dates and not a single one of them has felt right. Hen and Chim are starting to tease him about being too picky. Bobby keeps reassuring him it just takes time. Buck doesn’t say much of anything at all.

tomorrow and tomorrow edge of tomorrow, bill/rita

“Yes? What do you want?” Rita Vrataski doesn’t remember him. Of course she doesn’t. This is his reset. Not hers.

first line, first paragraph, whatever

one thing about me is i will drop the reader in the middle of a scenario. but i'll establish pretty quickly what pov i'm working in too so i mean, i guess there's that? also. first paragraphs my absolute beloathed. every one of these was reworked over and over and over and over before posting

tagging (no pressure as always!): @redbelles, @ladywaffles, @reachingforaspark, @lannisterdaddyissues, @katetylers and uhh idk anyone else who sees this and wants to do it

[mskinkyafro]

Thoughts on SydCarmy Relarionship Post S3

So, I actually enjoyed S3. It’s more akin to S1 imo. It’s a very nuance season. Unlike previously, there’s so much chaos in our face, it’s solved for the day and reset. Whereas, the entire time I watched this season, I felt this deliberate uneasiness as we see the unraveling of the restaurant and also relationships. It’s like a close lid pot boiling and at the end we’re seeing the water boil over, flames burning higher.

We start with how Carmy apologizes to Syd but his actions didn��t follow at all. Yeah, he was more focus on the restaurant and instead of her doing everything, now it was his takeover.

And watching his obsessive, iron fist type of way in the kitchen along with the draining routine of coddling his tantrums, it hints at what I said before about those two relationship in both lens of it as platonic and even more if it were ever to grow into anything romantic.

I feel like Syd’s perception of Carmy has burst. Not just as this prodigal chef that she looked up to. But really a seeing him and his flaws. This tortured genius by his own accord. And the sloppy ,disorderly ,and toxic way to get a star is slowly becoming something she doesn’t want. Or shall I say, the way she wants it.

I would even take a step further and say it’s not so much about the star. But she wants to be recognized. She wants to be uplifted in the way Carmy has. And the way she’s been cut out of that when it has been majority of her dedication to get the base, the heart of the place to where it was. Meanwhile Carmy has been the Brain to navigating it through its new identity, it’s not working.

I think for Carmy, he’s gonna be too late to realize how he messed up and truly see Syd for who she is. Which in turn feel like, he’s been holding her back. And further self loathe himself.

But something within will have to make him not just give up, but be better and stick with it. In the same way, he cut out smoking he’s gonna have to work that much harder to be better in his relationships especially Syd.

As for potential of romance. I realistic feel like the writers and actors didn’t plan for it and don’t want it to be a thing. Boo 🍅🍅 but if they were to do it, we are only in like phase one in the development for it to be canon. Bc imo Sycarm porential would be a final season/last episode thing.

Like we need these two to go on without one another yet still realize what they neglect about the other and when they inevitable come back, be better than ever.

Also I find it very telling and intentional to keep them so distant this season which played into how S4 will be an inevitable broken partnership. But will find themselves back once grown and healed.

[saltnsugarbear]

do you remember winding your arm around my shoulder

summary: you and Natalie go to a haunted house during one of her nights off from The Bear!

title from: "Haunted House" by Florence and the Machine

word count: 0.6k

content warnings: haunted house themes, talks of sperm donors, nothing hardcore another fluffy day in the books

side note: sugar is my wife btw I hope she doesn't seem out of character, I just think this is how a haunted house with her would go (I think she's so strong and brave but when she's with her partner she can let that go!)

divider by @strangergraphics

Natalie screams behind you and is quick to hide her face behind your shoulder. The grip she has on your hand is tight as she huddles against you.

Your stomach tugs at the fear in her voice, and you're quick to press your nose to her hair.

"It's okay. Look, Sug' just a yard decoration.." You whisper softly, coaxing her away from your shoulder.

Nat presses her cheek against your shoulder as she looks at the prop in front of you.

"See, look, it needs to be reset.." You guide her hand to your belt loops so she still has a hold on you. With both hands free, you reach around and collapse the stand that had popped into place to hold up the skeleton that popped out at the both of you.

"'S motion activated, come this way.." You lead her to the side where the door is, tucking her behind you to avoid setting of the decoration again.

Sugar huffs behind you, tugging on your hand to draw the both of you out of the room.

"Don't know why I agreed t'this... Hate haunted houses.. Scare the baby out of me..." Sugar's griping makes you huff through your nose.

"Not gonna scare the baby out of you, hon." You rub your thumb along her knuckles as you walk into the next room.

"Give me grey hair, at least..." She glances warily at the props along the walls.

"Such a baby.." You snicker, giving her a quick kiss to her temple. You're quick to drag her through the door out, making a bee line for all of the doors that led to the exit. Every time a scare actor peeked out, you waved them off, tucking Sugar close to you until you're outside.

The exhale she lets out is heavy, bringing herself into your side and wrapping her arm around your back.

"Won't do a haunted house next year, baby. Don't think we'd be able to with little Eloise and everythin'." You tell her, leading the way to the parking lot.

"I ever tell you about the time Mikey tricked me and Carm into going to a haunted house?" Sugar looks at you, eyelids heavy as she let's you lead her to the car.

"Mmm, don't think so.." You tell her, digging through your pockets for your keys.

"Well, Carmy was like.. nine.." You use the key fob to unlock the car, letting Sugar continue her story as you help her in. She's recounts to you how Mikey had convinced his siblings to join him in going to a haunted house, promising them pillowcases of candy if they joined him.

You let her tell you some of the other antics Mikey and Richie pulled her and Carmy into on the way home. A couple minutes away from your home she trails off, musing over her own thoughts as you reverse into your driveway.

"I'm glad Pete agreed to be our donor.." She says, turning her head to look at you when you park.

"Yeah?" You lean your head against the headrest, studying her face as she nods.

"Yeah... Really wanted a family with you. 'S like I'm carrying your baby still, though.." Sugar rubs at her small baby bump softly.

"'S good, since he's my brother kind of like you are." You smile at her as she rolls her eyes.

"You know what I mean... Still get all the best parts of you..." She blinks sleepily at you.

"Okay, mama, let's get you inside.." You give her a quick kiss as you unbuckle your seatbelt and slip out the drivers seat.

As you hold Sugar's hand to help her balance when she slips out of her seat she pauses, looking at you softly.

"What?" You ask her softly.

"Nothing.. Just thinking about how much I love you.." She whispers.

You fell your heart warm at her words, giving her a soft smile.

"Love you too, Sug'." You say, punctuating your words with a kiss to her cheek. "Love you so, so much."

[unladyboss]

A RESET IS COMING. PART TWO THE BEAR SEASON 3. GROUNDHOG DAY

MOST LIKELY in part two

Like groundhog day

You can tell by the way Carmy was reading the new review and then looked up at the train, which in this show starts a time loop over.

In groundhog day the guy was trying to change different aspects of the situation to get a good outcome

Not realizing he had to become a good version of himself with the help and support of friends and family

On this 'day' (this season)he pushed everyone away, but let Faks run wild and thoughts of Claire be forefront in his mind. He thought being a better version of himself meant quitting cigarettes. But he was thinking if them every 10 seconds. So only the BEEF was making money. Only the past was getting any attention. Bad move

He missed the biggest lesson, where his friends (not the Faks) and family at SYDNEY'S party showed that it's them coming together getting it together is THE POINT.

Living is the point.

The new review is not the point

So I think the next part will see Carmy resolving everything he needs to resolve. Including Claire.

[carmenized-onions]

reading this chapter was truly an emotional journey for me - i wrote a page of notes while reading that are completely incoherent but i will recount here anyway

firstly, of course chip is a pun girly we have known this forever, but every time she makes a joke i laugh out loud like yes you are so funny

my next focus was him forgetting to turn his location off - i hear the black dog by taylor swift playing in the background. i need this girl and this boy to realise that neither of them hate eachother because this cat and mouse game is getting on my nerves (in the best way no offence to you author)

wondering why i wasn’t invited on the richie carmen road trip - mainly because i want to hear their conversations and secondly because it would be the perfect opportunity for a tag team

as soon as i read the bit about the chance that they would interact being low i thought ,,,, ooo this will be disproved by our favourite author extraordinaire and i was right!

random request but can we have a christmas / holiday themed chapter i just want to see all the presents chip gives out i love her

also enjoying the use of kitchen as a verb when talking about richie being bad at kitchen - it’s giving ken’s job being beach in the barbie movie

thankful that you gave us some sydney/chip moments and some richie/sydney/chip moments plus some marcus later as i don’t know if i could have handled this chapter without seeing my babies having a sliver of joy for at least a couple of lines

i could be completely off base with this but was the reference to cherries when chip talks about carmen doing her prep an intentional callback to her favourite ice cream flavour? i could be majorly reading into it but if im right you are a genius and if im not you are still a genius without even knowing it

the knife tattoo being the hand she focuses on is a metaphor a mother figure english teacher should explain to me, but i am too tired to fully comprehend the meaning of this right now

sorry but who puts their wedding cake in an uber, creds to marcus for saving the day my small boy

i can’t even explain the neil fak moment but it is so fucking classic for him to misread a situation SO SEVERELY, i wish this was an actual scene because i need to physically see the facial expressions

and then we get to uncle lee. i had to put my phone down when carmen said his name, genuinely i let out a singular clap. we have never seen chip like this and i don’t know if we ever will again. this interaction consolidated the chip being a sponsor theory for me as it is so clear that she cannot stand the way people talk about drugs and addiction - especially regarding mikey

a callback to the italians loving their unions, you love to see it

i wrote very minimal notes on the carmy chip interaction at the end of the scene as there is really nothing for me to comment on except for how beautifully you wrote it. it is so peaceful but so angry i don’t know how you manage to do this every time. such a great reveal (despite the theories) as it did feel like a suprise to me still!!!

amazing work once again, i am sorry if this is completely incoherent i dont know how else to say this hahha

I DID GET THIS ASK!! I just took ten years to get to it, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE LOVE!! It's all coherent dw let's fuckin LOCK IN!!!

list format let's fucking go

I remember when I first read this (the pun thing) it really had me kicking my feet because it just sounds like-- Like when a girl will laugh at fucking anything someone she has a crush on says. everyone be honest do you have a crush on tony? I'm moving the keep reading down so everyone legally has to answer.

AND THE LIST RESETS BUT IF I SIMPLY JUST PRESS ENTER ITS LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED

I'm not a huge taylor girl but I will put it on in the background as I write the rest of this answer lets fuckin goo. These two really needed the under the counter talk we were TIRED

LMAO So many people wanted to come to that road trip-- You all dodged a bullet. Also so did I. because i didn't want to have to figure out how it would've gone. that sounds like so much work and i just wanted to have cute wedding time. sometimes we do time skips because we just want to have cute wedding time and no one admits this

of course it'd be disproved!! and

SHHHHHH you babies always be making requests, I DONT PUT GUNS IN THE FIRST ACT FOR NOTHING YOU KNOW ME!! but SHHHH!!!

he SUCKS at kitchen! Sometimes I use terms as verbs because it seems like how kitchens do things and i want everyone to think i know what it's like to work in service and i'm NOT just googling it and asking my bartending/server/linecook friends how it is. that's definitely NOT what's happening

ive said it a million times, who really cares about this carmen guy in this carmen fic. it's all about literally everyone else.

100% it's a call back! I reference cherries honestly more than i could ever expect. it's the flavour of the series now.

The knife tattoo thing though that was just me and my thing with hands. i have a thing with hands. so canonically tony also has a thing with hands. she just thought he was hot. but also about referencing it twice i did think-- or i guess wrote it-- i just think it's interesting how Carmen put his hand on her mouth and then ran that same hand through his scalp. just think thats interesting. just. thats something huh? or this could mean nothing

YOU'D BE SURPRISED I'VE HEARD HORROR STORIES OF PEOPLE HAVING THEIR CAKES DELIVERED BY UBER THINKING IT'LL BE SAFER THAN GETTING IT THEMSELVES AND THEY EAT SHIT ON THE WAY OVER

I wish so deeply I was a writer or director on the bear and could film this man. MATTY!! MATTY ARE YOU OUT THERE!!? HIRE ME BABY PLEASE?!?!?! I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR IT AND EVERYTHING COME ON!

Putting the phone down I think I've heard is one of the highest honours one can achieve? I've been told. AND A CLAP!? Let's fucking go. I won. I won boys! I can't think of a moment in which we will ever see Chip get this particularly hyphy-- Not to say she won't get mad in the future, but this was a very specific type of mad. genuinely if this wedding wasn't a lovely wedding it would've been so over.

The Union Italians scene was so much longer in the original version in my brain-- But I condensed it upon writing because it didn't really add much. But it was essentially gonna be Tony tired and then while ordering they look at her and go "wait,,, have you taken a break?" :( "no" "WHAT??? KNOW YOUR FUCKING RIGHTS!!!!"

This makes me so happy that I nailed that feeling, I was worried honestly that it was too peaceful? But that peaceful sort of like tempered anger is exactly what I was trying to go for. Like we're trying to problem solve and it's all kind of funny but I am still so mad.

AND ONCE AGAIN I THANK YOU FOR YOUR THOUGHTS I EAT EM FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER LOVE YOU!! I hope you love the next chapter it's a fucking DOOZY that I honestly think is going to throw everyone for a fucking loop. I'm so excited to see immediate reactions as they come through.

[clamped-jaws]

Chapter One. CAKE IS A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND

pairings: sydney adamu x fem!baker!reader

summary: after being ditched by carmy (once again), sydney takes time to roam around the city for inspiration and soon comes across a small cafe with a burning desire to please the underbelly of chicago.

warnings: cursing, mention of syd having a tiny (barely there) crush on carmy but won’t outwardly say it, lowkey food porn?? ***mention of possible over-eating/indulging (this takes place during s2, ep3 so yeah), unedited and kinda fast paced.

a/n: this is part one in a future series i’m working on, so hopefully you guys like it because this is my first ever actual project on here and it’s my baby and yeah.

word count: 2.2k

[back to masterlist]

It had been about thirty minutes though really it was more like hours into perusing the underground food belly of Chicago when Sydney realized she would have to go at this “mission” of sorts, alone.

Feeling the need to take matters into her own hands as the chill air received from the vent above felt as though it would be the only thing keeping her going and grounded in reality. As her leg bounced up and down at a bordering neurotic pace, Sydney couldn’t help but relive what she already felt to be true.

Carmy wasn’t coming — bailing had become a new quirk of his, leaving her high and dry, subjecting her to yet another one of his stupid plans that she had gone along with because why? She hadn’t really known, maybe it was because he seemed so sincere. Or perhaps it was because she knew no matter what he did she’d agree to it in full lacing herself with her new uniform; a pressure-filled smile that kept in the slowly yet simmering ill temper and a dash of limerence ready to escape. And how could she not, Carmen Berzatto was the best, he’d always be the best. How could she fault him for that?

In its simplest terms, she couldn’t.

It took a lot for her to rationalize it in that way though. Setting her phone down on the table she let out a heavy sigh before covering her head with her hands. Stupid, she was stupid. At least, that’s what she’d tell herself as she recounted the number of meals she had devoured over and over. In fact, it was up to the point where if you asked her what ingredients resided within a simple ravioli with a stuffed ricotta spinach filling (though that wasn’t exactly hard to place), she could tell you forwards, backwards, alphabetical and add replacements to make it that much more because that’s what she’s made for. But it still wasn’t enough, she still hadn’t gotten that spark in her brain, that hard reset that gifted her new recipes that would soon become muscle memory that she’d take back to—

Her phone buzzes. She checks and it takes everything in her to not roll her eyes. It’s him, of course it is.

Everything alright chef?

It takes everything inside not to completely shut down and curse him out. Takes everything to hold it together, knowing that something about Carmen was off and she couldn’t place it even when rereading messages from hours prior. How he’s more evasive and less active in the moment — she’d begun to become more of an afterthought than an actual friend and hell at least a coworker. He’s full of shit I’m sorries and it works every time. She knows this. And still, she manages.

Another respective bubble of… floods through only for it to fall flat. She can feel herself shutting down again, biting her lip anxiously as a what could have been message disappears like static.

All good Chef.

And the worst of it is, he won’t even give a pitiful thumbs up much less have read receipts. Fuck him.

Before she even has time to click off and put her phone back in its place faced down and away it happens. Distraction breeds chaos and perhaps Sydney needed that right about now. And in what better way than with you, you and your apron full of hand printed flour and pinned up hair, a few curls lightly framing your face.

You smile, the way most workers do when they come face to face with a customer who’s clearly in the middle of something. Awkward yet sensible, but you make it work. “Everything okay with your meal?” It’s only then Sydney notices you and along with it, the plate of food she hadn’t touched since she first received it, one bite and handful of notes. Your face drops slightly.

“Shit, you’re not like a food critic are you? ‘Cause if so this place is totally not ready for that, I mean not that the food isn’t good I just — I didn’t even know you guys did cafe’s and totally didn’t mean to cuss in front of your either.” You take a deep breath, trying to relieve your moment of sporadic nerves, slowly earning more attention than you wanted making Sydney in turn feel sort of embarrassed? If you could even call it that at least for a moment before she started waving her hands slightly. “Sorry—”

“N-no, I’m not a critic sorry. I um…” She paused, putting her phone down with a shallow breath trying to think of a way to put what she had been feeling into words before actually saying it. “I’m actually just taking down notes for um…well I — we — my partner and I own a restaurant, it’s going to be a restaurant. Y’know, The Beef… of Chicagoland… that’s us.” It’s awkward and mouthy but the response gives you a bit more confidence again as your standard company approved smile is back in full as you nod away.

“Oh! Yeah I’ve heard about that place, it’s shut down thought right?” Your brow quirks a bit before straightening out your apron now noticing the stains.

“Well um… as of right now yes but it won’t be for long. We’re remodeling it actually.” Sydney answers, nodding along with her words, mirroring the way you had done. “M’just trying to get a bit more…”

“Ideas.” You both say at the same time.

“Yes exactly.” Sydney motions before looking down at her food, it had clicked for her what she had ended up ordering. Some sort of half eaten caprese croissant that wasn’t much to rave about and a now lukewarm blueberry coffee. “Um…”

“Is there anything else I can get you?” You rush out, feeling around for your notepad and fishing out a pencil from your side pocket you hold onto it tight.

“Well…” Sydney began before looking up at you then back at the food. She felt kind of bad, her mind hadn’t fully been set regarding this whole taste testing thing and having already stricken you with so much anxiety in one fell swoop she knew she had to do something, even if it meant out of pity. “Yeah, can I get the uh, matcha cake with blueberries and icing please?”

“Sure thing!” You perked up before turning a heel and heading towards the back.

“Oh and a water!” Sydney called out earning a nod from you in return. The girl sighed, putting her head in her hands and shaking a bit. “Focus Syd.” She muttered before lifting back up to hear the sound of plates clicking against themselves.

You placed the dessert down and it looked delicious, to say the least. A perfectly made sponge cake, a vibrant yet cooling green topped with deep blue fruit coated on and around the place, and a lightly drizzled white frosting. The smell of it practically hit Sydney like a bus before she quickly took a bite almost as a means of appeasing the woman in front of her for not completely finishing her previous meal. And when a piece of it finally hits her tongue, the cake practically melts in her mouth and the tanginess of the berries popping in her mouth, mixing in with the sweet icing. Holy shit. It was like heaven, she couldn’t even do a description justice and even thought it was just cake, it felt more like love than anything else she possibly could’ve chosen to eat here.

She hadn’t even realized she closed her eyes much less moaned after the bite.

“Holy shit.” Sydney vocalized before muttering it again. When she opens her eyes again it takes everything in her not to go in for another bite and you giggle, causing her attention back onto you.

“Sorry I just—now I wish you were a food critic.”

“Me too.” Sydney lets out, covering her mouth slightly. “Props to the chef.”

“Why thank you.” You say with a nerdish half bow. “Had to make up for the croissant. I felt bad… we’re understaffed at the moment so not everything is as fresh. Minus the cake of course.”

“Of course.” Sydney mimics. “How did you make it?”

“Oh that’s a trade secret I’m afraid, only family and friends have the recipe.” You say, her face falters before you come in quick with a laugh. “I’m just kidding.” She laughs along with you, though it’s a lot shorter.

You both exchanged names and once again thorough apologies to one another. No one else had been in the shop at this time, your usual customers being early birds and those of the older generation who’d gotten lost on the way to bingo. Which resulted in her being able to talk to you more. Mostly about the Beef, now learning its new title. The Bear. And her reason for being here in the first place rather than working on her restaurant. And you smile back, taking in each word and finding somewhat comfort in it.

You in return, told her about how technically, you owned this place and were in a situation just like her though. You hadn’t had a business partner much less enough experience to be at this all alone but you made it work. You loved the job and liked to bake just as much, if not more. And hearing that, gave her confidence. Almost as if some divine grace that told her if she wanted to she could.

And boy did she want to.

And at that point Sydney gets a look at you, a real one. You were a bit taller than her, that much she could tell even after you sat down and you smelled like baked goods. Which seems more obvious than it sounds but for some reason it made sense. You play with your hair when speaking or nervous which could explain the mini strands splayed at your ears rather than in your tightly kept bun. You were sweet enough, from what she could gather, almost too sweet. It felt fake and foreign although perhaps it had been genuine. The people who worked at The Beef/Bear hadn’t been like that at all much less the majority of the Chicago population, but it had been nice. Refreshing even.

She also noted you a bit naive seeing as you were the only person around running things and found a way to talk to the only customer around rather than watch for new ones at the door but still. Not to mention bit of course you were also pretty, like really pretty.

It was about twenty five minutes into the conversation when you snapped back into reality. The chime of the front door bell rang out and you both shifted to see what or rather who it was. An older couple and what looked to be their grandson walking through the door with semi-smiles as they took in deep breaths. “Excuse us… are you open?” One of them asked.

“Yes sorry!” You spoke before getting up, pushing a hair strand back and straightening out your apron once more. “I will be right with you sir.” You walk away before Sydney can get a word out resulting in a stiff smile at the people who came in.

She watches you still, how you interact with the couple and their now confirmed grandson. You make them smile, laugh in fact before bringing out two freshly baked muffins and a cup of earl gray. It was clear now you were a baker rather than any other sort of chef.

And when you’re done, you come back over to Sydney practically gliding over and with a wink, she follows your gaze. You place a little black book in front of her, and walk away once more, disappearing towards the back. And when she looks down she remembers, mentally punching herself, hard. The check. She had almost forgotten it was part of your job to make people comfortable. And when she opens it she isn’t surprised by the low pricing of mostly everything besides the coffee. Pulling out cash rather than her card that’s when she notices something at the bottom of her portion of the receipt.

In case you want to keep talking. Business Inquiries only of course, X. — Y/N.

Sydney gulped slightly at the sight of your number right beneath the note, eyes semi-widened as she looks towards the back of the cafe where you had conveniently disappeared too. Nothing, it was almost as if the cafe was runned by its customers now, as if you had been a ghost she had conjured into her mind to make up for the lack of Carmy. Weird.

She took it of course, ripped the check somewhat in half and stuffed her things back into her bag and in one swift move pulled out a twenty dollar bill. A tip, more so for good conversation with a pretty girl than the food. She wondered how awkward would it be to wait for you to come back and say thank you. Was this even something you say thank you too? She hadn’t known, your bluntness left her stunned more so than she’d like to admit. Rising from her chair she decided against it, completely ignoring the feeling of a small buzz coming from her phone against her thigh.

It’s only when she’s out of the cafe she feels and actually acknowledges the sensation. Fishing out her phone she sees it.

Stop by The Beef.

Want to show you something.

For you though, the chime of the bell against the door was all but enough to know Sydney had left. You wait about two minutes before heading over to her table.

You smile, opening the check book to see half the receipt gone. She’d taken it and left a pretty tip too. Clutching the book you rush it over to the register and nod towards the last bit of customers you had at the corner table, softly humming as you go.

clampedjaws © 2024.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Pete & Nat, the role models

I've been wanting to meta a lil bit about Pete for sooooo long, I have soooo many good things to say about this guy.

And soooo many complaints for Storer, as well, because instead of introducing new and annoying characters like Computer and giving more airtime to Fak's brother, I don't even remember his name... Pete's character should have been better exploited last season. Especially considering that he became a new dad of THE NEW BEGINNING.

That baby reset the timer of the whole story, which we saw on screen a couple of eps later.

This is how Pete was introduced to us:

That magazine was right next to Pete's computer the first time we saw him in S1's Hands (01x02) when Carmy apologized over the phone, for having sent him to UC.

Pete is enough. No low self-esteem issues, no drama, no trauma. He's centered, stable, and most importantly: He's Nat's rock.

He's a casual guy (tennis shoes on the cover symbology), a "report maker" (name of the magazine) even though he's a lawyer. "Report makers" are reliable and organized, even borderline boring sometimes, they are certainly not daredevils, they are anal and collected. That's their profile, Pete's fits it perfectly.

Not all lawyers are "reliable". He is, because he's the report-maker type. IMO Symbolically speaking that magazine stealing the focal point of the frame for a second is probably telling us that about the character.

So, he is "enough." Yet Sugar married him and started a family with him with this flawed mindset that is nothing but her trauma response:

More about her here:

So, my point is that you don't have to be squeaky clean and your mental health does not have to be pristine for a loving relationship you enter into to work out, not necessarily. This does not mean that Carmy doesn't have to do his part of the work to get better for Syd, which he does and is doing:

OR that Syd doesn't have to clean her side of the street too, which she does:

It means that no, you don't necessarily have to be A-OK to allow yourself to love someone and be loved by that person as long as you choose each other and help each other to do the work, that work will be individual and it will be joint and you will always need help and there is no "right time" to start but ironically enough there is such a thing as too late.

Pete & Nat prove that they are doing it together, it's certainly not easy for them, especially for Natalie, but they are succeeding at it.

IT CAN BE DONE. it's not a utopia or even a bad idea. It can work out, sometimes it doesn't sure, but it can.

Bonus track: Pete may play cupid for Sydcarmy, I am positive Sugar will so it's not crazy he will too by proxy and here's why I have this hunch ↓

THE BEEF STEW

Fingers crossed like pretzels rn.🤞

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[unladyboss]

CARMY'S MENU WITH SYDNEY IN MIND: GRAPEFRUIT ETC: THE BEAR SEASON 3

One of the menu items Carmy said he wanted was this grapefruit, pureed cauliflower, swiss chard dish. It pans to Sydney when he says it

If you think back, it's actually a modified version of a dish he and Sydney were working on together at his apartment.

The dish that made him tell her it was almost perfect

The dish that gave him the courage to suggest that they need to go out and TRY SOME THINGS

The dish that made him say they need a reset

But most importantly, the dish that gave an intimate moment between them.

They shared a spit cup.

I would NEVER

But Sydney and Carmy shared that spit cup, got each other water and just took care of each other in that moment.

I'm sure the intimacy of the experience is what made Carmy want to add it to the new menu.

Sydney always on his mind.

[carmenized-onions]

okay so I’ve def been lurking for a while which is honestly criminal bc ur writing is what I look forward to after work and I have so many thoughts and feelings to share. firstly im mad at myself for not picking up on chip and what that meant until a couple paragraphs before it’s revealed in the latest chapter like I feel embarrassed I could not figure it out despite just watching an episode of shameless (can u tell I love jaw??) where frank is trying to get Al anon chips. anyways secondly I feel as though we as a community have brushed over Carmy’s immediate response to check on chip after the whole banging head scene which idk was just a cultural reset for me truly hit differently. ALSO as another avid re reader of this series chapter 5 has me in a chokehold!! he just causally says he wants to take chip out one day?? i would pass away. cannot wait to read the next chapter after work it is honestly the highlight of my day to sit down and read whatever ur beautiful mind has cooked up. much love and remember to drink ur water!!

Nothing warms my heart more than a lurker coming out of lurk mode, I'm grateful.

DON'T BE MAD AT YOURSELF I'M GLAD I GOT YOU!! Pranked! Thematic set up = pranked!!

I really need to watch Shameless, not for JAW in particular but I feel like I just missed out on a cultural reset.

WE AS A COMMUNITY LMAOO, I love awkward sweet moments like that-- Of trying to be doting and sweet but being too forward about it so it just ends up being a complete mess. That's Chip every moment of every day tbh.

Chapter 5 is always a good chapter to go back to when the new ones feel too heavy honestly. They're having so much fun over there. I wish that was us. It could be but that motherfucker is PLAYING!!

Thank you so much for saying so I HOPE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS AGAIN WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER COMES OUT IN A COUPLE HOURS BUT NO PRESSURE!!! All my love in return, I'm so glad to be a fun thing to read after a long ass work day hehehe