#carmy is allowed to feel how he does AND SO IS CLAIRE

[yannaryartside]

First of all, thank you so much for such a detailed answer.

I really think some scenes may not make sense in a medical context, the injection to the kid, for example, but are used to highlight Claire's attitude towards her patients. Other blogs have talked about this scene as a parallel to her relationship with Carmy, because she liked her to distract him from the pain as she did with the kid/

HOWEVER

Regarding the allergy thing, I am betting that is a flag they planted so people could suspect the grenade that relationship was the whole time. When you said:

"But my BIGGEST red flag in all this was that- normal doctors are not morbidly fascinated with death and disease. There is NOTHING even remotely romantic about that; most of us are so burnt out by it." the way other doctors would be concerned about an attitude like Claire's got me thinking of something...

On top of that, she does seem fascinated by people in pain or in crisis; there is this scene in Pop when she says, "Michael was fun, he would say things on fire," which was a dialogue way out of character for a medical professional. She also mentioned being used to being around sad and drunk people, and that made me think she saw Carmy as another drunk, sad person for her to fix or another patient in crisis for her to medicate (with kisses and a pleasing attitude).

It is concerning how much the show used Claire's profession to make the audience think she is this angel on earth and also keep raising red flags after another. We never see her being nice to other people who are not her patients, dysfunctional friends, or even more dysfunctional Berzattos.

It reminded me of this psychology professor who warned us that in movies, you are not supposed to make a narcissist look like a hero because, at that point, the audience will be caught in the manipulation too far to reverse it.

They even went to the extent of forcing the audience into her pov in s3, as we are supposed to root for her because she is caring for people while heartbroken, the Faks come and tell her she is the one to take care of Carmen (because she also takes such good care of her patients) and then. THEN they thought the flashback of her talking about almost killing her patient for an allergy. I still see posts of pro Claire people that say that scene was to make her look human, and I was like "I am sorry, do you want us to feel bad because she can read and almost killed someone?" They put a magic trick there to make us follow her as a doctor just to tell us she may be rather dangerous for others in her position. That she presents herself as competent when she knows she is not. I, for what is worth, really didn't see regret on her face while telling that story.

THE LACK OF EMPHATY, the ROMATICIZING THE PAIN IN OTHERS. You explained that so well I am so glad I was not imagining shit.

It screams that Claire enjoys being around dysfunctional people so she can feel good by attempting to fix them and receiving love and loyalty in return. She even created a whole romantic relationship based in that and I am supposed to feel bad for her. No, I don't trust this woman and Carmy now thinks she is at peace and what he needs and everybody keeps telling him to return to her.

It is almost like (metaphorically) Carmy has set himself on fire (his mental illness) and now he is gonna go directly to a person (Claire) who cannot even apply the right treatment for him, because she is indeed incompetent and lacks the empathy to actually help him and feel for his issues, and will allow him to continue to burn as long as she feels needed by him.

Sorry to vent, that took a dark turn. But the more I think about this subject, the more unnerving it becomes. Thank you @sydneysrissotto. tagging @whenmemorydies @brokenwinebox and @thoughtfulchaos773

I'm waiting for my residency match, so while I wait, let me tell you that being a doctor doesn't look anything at all like how they've shown Claire. I wish the showrunners did some research.

[coachbeards]

remembering how people attacked claire for not being more supportive during carmy's breakdown just. "she's a doctor she should know what to do" y'all she is a person first and she has emotions too btw !

[chefkids]

Feel like it’s impossible to continue to ship them after that cold open with Carmy thinking about her at 5am. If he’s in love with Sydney he doesn’t know it - and I don’t think that’s even a thing. I don’t see how they come back from that.

Claire is not Carmy's future. She's "Wednesday".

Being in denial about feelings and trying to repress them is definitely a thing. And if there's one thing Carmy has ever consistently done is be in denial and suppress. Like he did with Mikey, the NYC Chef trauma, his mother's alcoholism, Sydney when she quit etc. Part II was all about Carmy using Claire to avoid the restaurant/Sydney, even when we saw him being riddled with panic attacks every time he was with Claire. He was trying to make Claire his present/future but every time it kept pulling him back to his past. Part III was all Carmy trying to mentally rewrite his relationship with Claire and conveniently ignoring all the weird times and the panic attacks. Carmy does not think about happy times with Claire to feel happy. He thinks about them to stay in his cold pit of despair and to keep himself from moving on and accepting amusement or enjoyment in his life again. He's addicted to thinking about Claire like he's addicted to cigarettes. Both were not good for him and "a waste of time", and he "quit" both of them but he continues to think about them all the time because he is a self-destructive person.

That long scene with Claire that he thought of at 5 am established several things. Primarily that Carmy is still in "Wednesday", both the literal day that it took place but as a concept. He's stuck in the past with Claire. Frozen in time. He says he used to love Wednesday's as a kid, just like he used to love Claire. Now Sydney is just trying to get past Wednesday, while Carmy tries to avoid thinking about his legacy and the future.

His least favorite day is Sunday because the restaurant is closed and he has nothing to do and he can't turn off the "buzz" at night. Conveniently the only day he doesn't see Sydney. And it's also what Sydney lied about in order to get him to give her a job at The Beef. Then after thinking of Sunday's, Claire noticed his heart was beating really fast, in a seemingly calm situation. Buzzing one might even say.

Then they talk about his hand scar from grabbing a hot pot. He really grabbed it and it's really deep, but he wasn't paying attention. In the very first episode when Sydney arrives, he's arguing with Richie and grabs a really hot pot and burns his hand. Syd is a hot pot that he hasn't been paying attention to and that is going to leave a very deep scar on him once she leaves him.

Claire tells him a story about the girl who came into the ER on the 4th of July with a bunch of cuts, and that she almost killed her by not paying attention to her chart, but when she woke up from surgery she didn't even feel pain because it hurt so much that it didn't hurt at all yet. Then in that same episode Carmy cuts his hand and Sydney walks by, then she cuts her hand after telling him he is not communicating or paying attention. A small cut to the many that he has been adding to his relationship with Sydney. That scene remembering Claire was about how he is hurting people and himself but can't stop because he doesn't feel it yet, because he is frozen in the past, and despite his denial, he still can't "turn off" the buzz of Sydney from his head.

In Apologies after Sydney left him when he realized he was thinking about her while making a dish and starting to allow amusement/enjoyment back in his life by asking Syd to come to Ever, he went back into the fridge to distract himself by thinking about Claire again the same way he did when he was trapped in the fridge, to try to turn off the "buzzing" from Sydney.

Natalie had a similar early morning blue light flashback about her own unresolved issues, thinking about Marcus's mom's funeral and Donna. But by the end of the season we see that she has made peace with her past and Donna and has moved forward with being a mother.

How does Carmy move on from a Claire obsessed season? He faces her reality and what his relationship was her was actually like, not just a highlight reel. He might feel guilt but does he actually want to even be with her again? Doesn't seem like she does based on her conversation with the Fak's.

How does the show establish his feelings for Sydney have always been there? He actually explains to Syd why he wanted her as his partner at the end of Part I, why he was avoiding her/why he thought he could make his feelings for her go away by being with Claire in Part II, and why he was not letting Claire go in Part III and not letting himself feel amusement or enjoyment with her. The same way he explained why he wanted to build a restaurant with Mikey, why he avoided grieving him, and how he accepted the reality of the situation at the end of the end of Part I at al anon and the same way he opened up to her under the table to her in Part II. He is capable of using his words when he really wants to. Losing Claire might have put him in a funk, but if he loses Sydney? Everyone around him is going to be painfully aware of how much she actually means to him compared to Claire. Cause that guy could barely stay alive after she quit the first time. Mikey and Sydney are the only two people Carmy has ever made plans with for the future.

[yannaryartside]

YOU KNOW WHAT? RICHIE WAS RIGHT

SYDNEY IS THE GOOD THING CARMY CANNOT ACCEPT.

Richie was right that Carmen could not accept a good thing that was happening in his life. But the good thing is not Claire, it is Sydney. And they made this clear to the audience in the scene right before. Here:

thank you to @thoughtfulchaos773 for making this gifs for me and the video below!

When Carmy starts talking about not being built for relationships (in other words, closing himself to be loved), Sydney is the first one to exit his vicinity, to leave the Bear, the space Carmy created to deal with his trauma, the place Sydney had repeatedly chosen to stay in in order to help him. She leaves first and promises to come back after having a moment. Claire is only the second one to leave. And that's important.

Long post bellow, very Sydcarmy and very anti claire bear warning

PART 1: WHAT CARMY DOESNT WANT TO SEE.

For the longest time, I did not understand wtf Carmy thinks he feels about Syd. He seems completely comfortable having her as an emotional anchor, even subconsciously, he definitely wants to impress her, and she is the base of his creativity, his muse.

But he would only be confronted by her impact on his mind and heart in the most enormous distress for him. And there have been plenty of them. Big ones and subtle ones.

when he texted her right before opening Michael suicide letter. this is for me the biggest one and they barely knew each other then.

when she calms him down of a panic attack (that was consistent of family and Claire flashbacks)

she calms him down from a panic attack again indoors, right after he tries to calm himself thinking about Claire and his sister.

when she made him laugh at the sauce he thought was dusty

when she made him laugh after confessing his brother was an alcoholic

when he needed her and screamed his name while stuck in the freezer

But besides that? he really doesn't seem to want to meditate too much on why this happens, why only she can affect him this way. After the panic attack in 2x09 he talks to Sydney about how "Claire is so great it scares the shit out of him" and the I thought...'so Claire is great that she gives you panic attacks. But Sydney can make you get out of the panic attacks?"

It definitely seems that subconsciously, there is an "ingredient" in Sydney that Claire doesn't have, but what if that is the ingredient Carmy is most afraid of?

PART 2; WHAT IS THE LOVE THAT SYD OFFERS, AND WHY CARMY CANNOT OPEN HIMSELF TO RECEIVE IT

This is not to discourage my fellow sydcarmies; quite the opposite. I want to present here my ultimate sydcarmy theory: Carmy is afraid of true love, a love that requires getting to know someone, the love that allows you to accept your flaws and feel supported to grow and get better. For someone to truly love you, they have to see you, and Carmy is terrified to be seen and even more terrified of being seen by someone he loves.

In other words, he cannot receive love from a person that truly knows him because he still believes that at his core, he is defective and unworthy of love as his true self.

And who installed that belief in him?

Claire's love does not require true understanding or connection; we have seen countless scenes of them interacting, and their relationship is still superficial at best. Claire is a 'noncharacter," and therefore, nothing but her profession is something the audience or Carmy ever learned about; if anything, it seems that what they most love is each other's company. Claire even encouraged Carmy to act like someone else in the frat party. There is even moments when Claire seems to guide Carmy to say things she wants to hear, indicating she really doesn't care about what he wants, or that she genuinely believes that at the end he will always want what she wants, which is very problematic on his own

I really believe that what Carmy likes about Claire's love is the fact that whenever he is with her he doesn't have to acknowledge all the things that don't work whitin him because she acts like anesthesia and distraction towards it, she makes him ignore how uncomfortable he feels around strangers by forcing him to go with her flow, she tells him to "never apologize" while also presenting herself as the solution for his trust issues "nothing is keeping track of shoes" followed by "I know" from her. She is also that validation to the insecure teen Carmy who had a crush on her.

in the book Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse it reads

But there is something about Claire that still triggers Carmy's panic attacks, he even has a hight heart rate talking to her in 3x10 (I kinda love the double meaning that his heart rate is hight because he is "in love" while it is also related to his anxiety, wich is an indication of his brain that something is not right). But Carmy could never admit it, he could never recognize the ways Claire has manipulated him, because the reward of his complacency is feeling loved while also not being seen.

And then there is the love that Syd gives

I am loved even when I stumble. That's all s3 was for. For Sydney to love Carmy even when he stumbles, he probably will be able to see that eventually, but he will have to accept a love that can see who he is, the good, the bad, and the future. Someone who believes in him enough for him to do so too.

[rose-of-red-lake]

I feel like the Bear is exploring how some people just aren't cut out to have "normie" romantic relationships, particularly people in obsessive, meticulous, high stakes, high pressure jobs.

Carmy started a relationship at the same time as he started a restaurant. Uncle Jimmy was right to say "uh oh:" the result is a disaster, where he ultimately decides he can't juggle both, and chooses his restaurant people (ie Syd). I was happy with this decision because hell yeah, Syd does deserve his full focus. She is busting her ass and he is out here going to parties? The injustice.

But I learned that other viewers didn't like this decision. They saw it as "unhealthy" that Carmy thinks he doesn't deserve a life outside the kitchen, and that it's a personal flaw if he can't find time for both. They want him to end the series with Claire because it would mean he's freed himself of restaurant stress.

But honestly, they are naive if they think it's that simple. Good writing (in a prestige drama) wouldn't make this choice easy, and there would be consequences. Carmy would be written to be abandoning his work family, and possibly even his sense of identity, if he made that choice. It is realistic too, considering the systemic pressures of the workers in that industry. The pressures force harsh decisions because multiple people are depending on you. In his talks with fine dining restaurant workers and chefs, Storer said they consistently said their personal lives were in shambles because the restaurant consumed them. There was no world outside of it. And ultimately, Carmy chose the restaurant. He chose Syd, not Claire.

So the demands of the job and the pressure of high-stakes business decisions really don't allow for intimate relationships. I don't think this is all on Carmy for being unable to handle it.

However, I would think that any fleeting moments of non-work, relaxing, unwinding that MIGHT happen...would happen between people who "get it."

Like calls to like.

So, maybe we will see Syd and Carmy actually execute that ask out that almost happened by the lockers?

The consequences might be harsh there too, but at least we would get some juicy workplace drama🍿

[moments-on-film]

Moments on Film: Carmy and Sydney’s Michelin Star Talk

This is another one of my favorite scenes between Carmen and Sydney. It’s in S2E2, and they are at his apartment, working on the new menu.

Sydney asks Carmy about the moment he got the 3 Michelin stars call when was the CDC at the restaurant in New York, the highest honor for any restaurant in the world.

What struck me about this scene, apart from the playful banter into this moment, was how Carmy immediately gushes out his answer after Sydney asks him this question. She’s genuinely interested and, literally, a little star struck, and he in turn seems like he’s so unburdened to finally be able to talk to someone about this major moment in his life.

We know that when Carmy was the CDC at Eleven Madison Park, he was horribly abused on a daily basis by his boss, the Executive Chef. Carmy had the completely arduous task of leading the kitchen while under extreme duress, and to such a degree that he was able to retain the highest honor in his industry. The stress of it all we know, made him physically sick, everyday. We also know at this time, Michael wasn’t speaking to him, and it’s unlikely his family understood what he was going through in this moment. He was going through monumental highs and lows, without any support, and completely alone.

He probably has never had the chance to process it or think about it, let alone talk about it.

When Carmy comes home for Christmas in the flashback of S2E6, we see almost everyone, and especially his mom, give him guff and make fun of him for being a “big time chef….too fancy for us.” Carmy was in Copenhagen at the time and not in New York yet, but he’s going through exciting, transformative, life changing moments which no one in his family bothers to ask about or talk to him about. It must have been incredibly painful to not only not be able to share and talk about it, but to be made fun of for it, instead of being told, “good job”, which, as he shares in S1E8, was one thing he wanted to hear from his brother, so badly.

Sydney asks him about his experience because she genuinely wants to listen to him speak about this moment. She doesn’t just ask what it was like, she asks him, “how did it feel?” He immediately pours out his answer in such a way that made me think, my gosh, probably no one has ever asked him about it before. It’s terribly sad that until now no one has cared enough to show interest, and it must have made him feel so lonely to not be able to express himself or what this moment meant to him.

Now Sydney is here though, and she allows him the space in this moment to be vulnerable and heard. His answer perhaps isn’t what she thought it would be, but it’s honest.

Sydney understands the high level of the restaurants where Carmy has worked and what he has achieved professionally, and she admires him for it. She also understands on a much deeper level because he unknowingly fed her while he was the CDC in New York and she was his guest. Sydney’s eaten Carmy’s 3 Michelin star award winning food, and it was the best meal she’s ever had. He just doesn’t know it yet.

In S1E2, when the staff is cleaning the kitchen and Carmy mentions Noma, Marcus says “Noma’s the shit, huh?” Both Carmy and Sydney say “the best”, at the exact same time.

In terms of being understood, this contrasts starkly with Carmy’s conversation with Claire in another kitchen—the kitchen of the party house in S2E5. She mentions he was in France, he gently corrects her and says Copenhagen. She says, “go to Noma?”, he says, “worked at Noma.” Claire says, “I heard it’s alright” and he responds with “it’s pretty good”. This exchange stuck out to me when I first heard it. Is she sarcastically joking about Noma being just “alright”, or does she not know about its exceptional reputation? Either way she doesn’t ask Carmy any questions about it and then changes the subject.

After Carmy tells Sydney about his Michelin star call and the moment that immediately followed when he had to prepare to serve the U.N. Security Council, his face holds onto the memory of the moment and you can see it felt so good for him to express himself and talk about it. He probably hasn’t thought about it in a long time. He looks reflective and dare I say, proud. He then looks at Sydney, and they smile at each other. It’s quick, but he looks so grateful to her for allowing him to talk about this moment and also that she really, truly listened.

It’s these sweet little moments between the two of them that really make an impact because in these moments, they allow each other to share experiences that only a few people in the world would actually understand. Just like their sign language, the way they understand each other creates a form of communication and expression that is just between them.

I don’t think she realizes it, but Sydney asking Carmy this question, and by genuinely listening to and caring about his answer, she fed and nourished a part of him that had been starved for so long, just like he fed her.

©️moments-on-film 2023

[outmakingmoonshine]

I wrote this in the tags on this post by @sydcarmyfan pointing out that Carmy has touched all of Syd’s tattoos and they asked me to make a post about it, it's kinda long so I've put it under a cut.

Like the above post mentions the placement of Carmy's hands on Syd's back in 2x03 puts them directly over the broken wishbone, the three of swords tattoos and the anchovies

If the hand placement is deliberate then it specifically places his hands directly over the tattoos that relate to him/their love story the most. The broken wishbone, he’s fulfilling her wish/dream by making her his partner in The Bear and kinda breaking it by being “shitty”, there's something in there about "wishing on a star" too... and the three of swords which the SydCarmy meta writers have written about much better than I can. (And also the anchovies tattoo but I have no idea what that's related to yet, although Carmy does have a fish tattoo so that's how it relates until I know more lol.) This touch on these two specific tattoos happens in a scene which is arguably the start of him breaking her heart and her wish…it's the first time she sees him after he ditched her at Kasama and after he tried to avoid Claire but caved to her hounding him on the phone so whether Syd's aware of Claire yet or not, the wall has already been torn down and the ball's already in motion. It’s also when he starts to ditch working with her on their joint wish/dream, kinda breaking her "wish" of working on it with him.

It's worth noting that the point of a wishbone is to break it so this might not have a negative connotation and could just relate to him being so focused on getting that wish for her while...on the other hand..literally..he’s breaking her heart while trying.

@sydcarmyfan pointed out when Carmy placed his hand on Syd's back in 2x02 he also touched her other two tattoos, which was during a scene/montage when they were both more comfortable and relaxed around each other, being more open about their personal lives, history, family etc, and those other two tattoos seem more related to Syd’s family life/history. The car with mom on the license plate and the c’est pas grave tattoos. So the themes of the tattoos he touched in each scene also relate to the themes of their dynamic within that scene.

The car is obviously about her mum and maybe something to do with driving to Sheridan Road? Idk yet but my theory on the c’est pas grave tattoo (which translates to “it’s not serious/it doesn’t matter/nevermind”) is it relates to whatever reason Syd feels like she needs to hide or ignore her feelings like they “don’t matter” or they’re “not serious” to anyone else but her…or maybe she doesn’t even allow herself to take them seriously and that’s why she just swallows her disappointment and internalizes and suppresses her feelings all the time.

I don’t think Syd’s ever really been emotionally nurtured because the version we see now of Emmanuel as the devoted father telling stories of her mother lovingly doesn’t really add up. If he was that loving devoted father making her smile and laugh so animatedly while she was growing up why is she so emotionally avoidant now? There’s a weird distance in their relationship like she has a huge wall up when she's around him, even more than around when she's around Carmy or Marcus tbh. He obviously knows her better, he raised her so he can see through her and confront her about more things but she still never really lets him in and he never seems willing to push enough. I get the feeling he wasn’t really there for her as a kid and he learnt to be a decent father too late. I also get a vibe from him like he feels kinda guilty about something / has regrets / kinda feels like he failed her. Idk he seems to walk on eggshells around her imo like he's very careful what he says to her and how he words things with her. He definitely feels the distance between them and it bothers him more than it bothers her. You can tell he tries to connect with her, but she’s always the one who’s resistant.

My theory is the distance is because he became an alcoholic after her mom died because he couldn't cope with losing her. Maybe Syd spent most of her childhood feeling neglected and alone, like no one cared about her and what she wanted or needed so she learnt to suppress her emotions and now she just keeps following that pattern because she doesn’t know any different. By the time Emmanuel got sober it was too late, she'd already learned this toxic way to cope with all the feelings of loneliness and rejection. And she's still so wounded by his neglect that she only gives him a surface level relationship now.

She’s also lowkey disrespectful to him in some ways or she just lacks the respect you would expect her character to have for a father who is clearly trying and we know Syd isn’t a disrespectful person. Definitely not to be disrespecting her only living parent and kinda dismissing him the way she does for no reason. So I think there’s something important we don’t know about their dynamic.

I also think this could be why she cut Carmy off from asking about her dad in 2x02 because he already said something like “at least he was there for you” and I don't think she wanted to explain that maybe he actually wasn’t.

There’s a reason that the main point of Emmanuel's only scene and dialogue inside the restaurant in 2x10 was to reveal that he doesn't drink and I don't think it was just to highlight the contrast between him and Donna because it would've made more sense to have donna show up as a drunken mess outside The Bear if they wanted that contrast so badly but she seemed sober when talking to Pete.

(Here's where I insert my headcanon that Emmanuel & Donna have already met at al-anon meetings and he’s been integral in her recovery so far, probably not even realizing they are future in-laws.)

I think Carmy's gonna find out Syd had a very similar childhood to him but she was actually going through it all alone. While he FELT alone she really WAS alone dealing with an alcoholic parent with no siblings to understand or to just share the emotional and psychological burden with and all he's been doing is dumping pressure on her that she didn’t really ask for...but she wont tell him directly that she crumbles under pressure, she tried to tell him a story to let him know she crumbles under pressure with the Sheridan story in 1x05 and again with the pasta/Ragù story in 2x02 but he consistently keeps leaving her alone to fend for herself with a major workload when the whole reason she came to The Beef was to work WITH him and spend time WITH him. That’s what Syd values, that’s what makes her happy. Quality time and food are her love languages, these things are the way to her heart and this anxious white man is bending over backwards trying to make her happy BY AVOIDING HER TO WORK ON HIMSELF SO HE CAN BE ENOUGH TO MAKE HER HAPPY😭😭 He's trying but he's so clueless and Syd won't give him a clue!

[freedelusionshere]

Syd is staying at The Bear

Started thinking about this after getting into a meta discussion with @gingergofastboatsmojito, but I would really love it if Syd chose to stay at The Bear and turn down Chef Adam entirely for sensible business reasons in addition to the fact that she has deep feelings for what she built with Carmen?

Her dad constantly puts pressure on her about the financial side of things and finding a good partner. I think this is a reference to Sheridan Road and maybe someone not holding her down in the past when she tried to have her own business, and it blew up in her face.

The show makes it clear that Syd does understand how to run a business right out of the gate but has avoided saying exactly what happened with Sheridan Road up until this point, and that has to be intentional. Some thoughts:

She writes that whole huge business plan for The Beef and hands it to Carmy in S1 and it has charts and numbers and everything. Carmy has never done this himself but does understand how to make the kitchen run like it's been run at other fine dining places he's had an open door to work at. That becomes very clear in S2 when he buys $11K worth of Dystopian Butter (LOL) like he's Chef David or something.

Carmy is bad with money and operations. Syd and Sugar are not, but Carmy wants to be in control, so Syd is starting to not trust that he's going to be a good partner. Then, what does she do? She goes around in S2 and talks to other owners and chefs and does her research and they all tell her their horror stories and give her advice. She is thinking about all this stuff in the background when Carmy ditches for Claire, which leads up to S3.

Carmy, after losing it in the walk-in in the S2 finale, is terrified because they finished the service just fine without him, and he knows Syd has every reason to leave him now. His pivot is to tell her that he will get her the Michelin star and offers her a partnership, but of course he has to be creatively in control because he's retained stars (never won them). But really, this is all about impressing Syd and also competing with her, and it mirrors the story Syd's dad tells her about her mother in S2 when they got a flat tire, and he was fumbling around trying to pretend he knows what he's doing while her mother just got out of the car and changed the damn tire.

Syd avoids signing the agreement, because she doesn't want to read what is in it. She's already got one foot out the door mentally and is afraid it will give her a reason to stay, and she knows these people are sincere and cares about them. The same people that repeatedly bring it up and try to get her to sign it, but things are starting to get too real real, and it's triggering all her shit about Sheridan Road all over again. Chef Adam approaches her to poach her from The Bear and it gives her an out that promises the financial stability and promises of the control she's always wanted. But at what cost?

With all of these things taken as a whole, Syd has access to Nat and Pete, who can help her run numbers, she can figure out who the backers are, Richie worked around people who worked closely with Chef Adam who she has now been introduced to. She can look at the timeline Chef Adam is presenting, and the show has told us that Syd should know Chef Adam is "off" (he's applying way too much pressure already) and will turn him down. But it also would be great if Syd makes Carm have to counter-offer, to give her more creative control, hash out their differences, etc.

Also, Syd can present her own business plan to someone like, say, Chef Terry, for The Bear, and possibly secure financial support for The Bear when Cicero's money goes sideways (and make Carmy fall in love with her even more than he is already). This allows Syd resolution to her past so she can move forward with Carmy as her partner, do the family style with the cola ribs and risotto like they originally planned, and fend off stuff like Chef Adam trying to poach their staff in S4 for his fine dining underworld nightmare restaurant.

[wtchrinthesky]

Summer, Highland Falls

Relationship: Sydney Adamu/Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto

Rating: Unrated, but the constant use of "fuck" might bump it up to Mature

Additional Characters: Natalie "Sugar" Berzatto, Richard "Richie" Jerimovich

Words: ~2.5k

Tags: Hospital Setting, Friends to Lovers (open to interpretation tbh), Songfic (kind of)

Summary: Sydney and Carmy wait to meet Baby Bear.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!

Expletives are the only thing on Carmen’s mind when he gets the call from Pete that Baby Bear has been welcomed into the world. Rochelle Alexandra, after he and Sugar’s grandmother and Pete’s mom. 3:13am, 8 pounds, 11 ounces. 

Carmy wants to die when he walks into the waiting room. The hospital is warm, almost stifling. Natalie is still recovering, and visitors aren’t technically allowed until eight, relays the gentle woman in scrubs that looks like Claire until he blinks extra hard. He feels a ball of concrete drop in his gut when he meets the scalps of Tina, Neil, Theo, Richie, Sydney, their noses all buried in their phones. Pete had mentioned that Donna was there, too, which made Carmy extra want to die, but the feeling settles the slightest bit in his mother’s absence. He feels guilty for the relief. 

He does not want to be here. 

As the stiff pleather cushion exhales from the weight of his body when he sits, his right foot starts bouncing against linoleum, his fingers worry his cupid’s bow like bricks very shittily falling into place. The Faks are the first (and only) to greet him, boisterous as ever, to which he reciprocates with a nod and a small “hey.” He can’t peel his eyes away from the dove-with-olive-branch pattern on Sydney’s scarf. He wants to kick himself, run for the hills, maybe go and give the third rail of the L a real big hug. He wants to be anywhere other than here. 

He has to be here. He owes it to Nat. He gets that feeling at the nape of his neck, cool and foreboding, the very same that made him observe Mikey’s funeral from the driver's seat of his car. He can’t watch both death and birth from the sidelines. It’s unfair, plain and simple.

Carmy screws his eyes shut and takes a breath, letting the smell of hand sanitizer and the sound of monitors beeping in the distance grab hold of him and yank him toward something more grounding. His eyes open to stare at the fabric wrapped around his chef de cuisine’s braids. It helps. He fucking sucks. God, he sucks. He feels guilty all over again for something he’s not sure of. Familiar voices get distant as they meander out of glass sliding doors for a cigarette. He’d join if he wasn’t absolutely sure he’d book it as soon as his shoes hit concrete.

Somebody coughs. He sits across from his penance, beautiful, wrapped in silk and down-packed pine green polyester. Linoleum walkways split them apart like the Red Sea, a testament to his obsession for perfection. He wants so badly to get a star, to get three, to scoop Michelin galaxies from the fucking skies if it means she’s happy. If it means she’s inspired, if it means she won’t leave. It’s all for her, and that makes things infinitely worse, knowing all he’s done was push her away and make her feel small. 

The consequences of his own actions taunt him, because he loves her, and she does not deserve that. She does not deserve the pollution he brings with everything he does, she does not deserve to be tainted. Barolo Chinato splashes across marble. The setting is ironic considering how fucking sick of himself he is. 

Sydney is running. Sydney is scared, and when she gets scared, she trips over her own feet fleeing. 

The sound of her father’s CPAP machine always made her feel like a coward. Maybe– no, she is definitely one, because even now she’s running. Is there a difference between feeling disrespected and being a quitter? The answer should be obvious, you’re not quitting if it’s out of self preservation, but she always has to make things infinitely more complicated. She digs herself into a hole and then gets mad because she didn’t think she’d need a ladder. Carmy is the same way, she thinks, and gets pissed all over again because he’s been such a dick lately. Like, seriously, she can only pretend to know what’s crawled up his ass and died. She wants to grab him by the ears and shake his head around like a jar of loose pennies. She’s running because she’s scared. Scared of him, i.e., how she feels about him. Scared of what will happen if she stays. Scared of her suspicions being right, that this is more than it really is. 

This is the thing, baby. 

Sydney doesn’t remember her mother very well, but often finds herself looking to her for guidance. It’s innate. The misty words of a lullaby, the only proof Mom ever existed beyond, well, Sydney’s own existence and Polaroids of her smiling face, ring in her mind: Will you carry the word of love with you? Will you ride the great white bird in together?

She constantly has to ask herself if every little thing she does, every choice she makes, are actions of love. The fact that she’s at this hospital at five forty seven in the fucking morning is definitely an action of love. Though, to be honest, it wasn’t like she was sleeping anyways, and newborn babies are kind of the cutest things ever, so it’s not like she’s turning down that opportunity. She has to face the music sometime. 

Her shoe scuffs across white tile and nudges Carmen’s own bouncing foot, willing it to stop. Is this an action of love? He looks up like she’s God and he’s a man that’s lost his faith. He’s always got these big, sad puppy eyes, like he’s surprised that people want shit to do with him. He never looks at her with vitriol, even when he’s over her shoulder during service telling her she’s too fucking slow. Even when he’s blowing up like one of those vinegar and baking soda volcanoes, all red-faced and flailing arms. He doesn’t always look at her soft, but he never looks at her hateful.

Right now, he looks at her like she’s the only thing in the world. It makes her gut tighten, the bile inside it curdle because it’s making it so hard to run. Maybe she wants to stay. Maybe it’d be self-sabotage. Maybe it’d make her a better person in the end. She can’t help wondering if Carmen’s confession under the table was entirely truthful. Sydney doesn’t know if he’s even capable of the truth, considering he’s been lying to himself since he left New York. 

A realization in the form of what feels like her heart growing three sizes just about knocks her off her metaphorical feet, bringing them to a halting stop. She cares about Carmen. Of course she cares about him, she’s cared about him since Eleven Madison Park, but like, she actually fucking cares. She wants to pour all the golden light from deep inside her to her palms and press it into his chest. She wants to free him from his burdens, or at the very least, offer him two extra hands to hold it all. She’ll forgive him over and over again, and it’d be like breathing. She wants to tell him the truth. 

That everything she does with him in mind is an action of love, even if it’s leaving.

“Uh,” She fumbles out instead, in an embarrassing excuse of a peace offering. “I’m doing the Mini. Do you have any ideas about sports organizations involving octagons?” 

Carmen blinks once. Another time. He’s completely thrown for a loop. He’d expected her to just quietly apologize and look back down at her phone. Sydney can tell from his face, once again disbelieving that someone’s making an active effort to talk to him.

“... What?”

“That’s the clue. Sports organization with an octagon.” Her jacket rustles when she shrugs and it’s music to his ears. Carmy sits back and interlocks his hands in his lap after rubbing his brow in thought, like the crossword was life or death. He reels his mind for any sports logos that are shaped like an octagon, and he thinks of ADT for some fucking reason, which is not at all related unless you count home security as a sport. 

Sydney waits for his answer. She’s so patient, and he doesn’t deserve it. If he was her, he would’ve bolted out of the Beef the second he saw his own face. 

“UFC.” He blurts, and a jazzy jingle plays quietly from her phone, and she smiles. He could have a coronary right now and die happy. 

“Nice.” Sydney praises quietly, her foot drawing back across the aisle to hook around the leg of her chair. It’d be insanely childish to play footsie with her, but it’s all Carmen wants to do if it means she’ll smile again and he gets to know it’s his fault. That he’s done the world a good service for once. He refrains, unworthy. 

Once the initial silence has broken, the next one that falls is horrid, so Sydney keeps the conversation going– for her own sake. She shifts, wincing briefly from the ass pain thanks to cheap hospital seats. 

“Uh, what– what do you think Nat’s kid is gonna call you?” 

Carmen was so caught up in the joy of Sydney’s presence that he entirely forgot the reason they were here in the first place. He picks at the dry flesh around a fingernail, growing afraid on his sister’s behalf. She’d called him one night in tears. I don’t know if I can do this, Carmy. Like, I don’t know if I can be a mom.

He didn’t know what to say. When someone is scared, and you don’t know what to say, it’s a good rule of thumb to tell them it’s gonna be alright, you’re gonna be alright, even if you feel like you’re lying. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Sugar wouldn’t be a good mom. There was not a doubt in his mind she’d be a good mom– Hell, she mothered him when Donna failed to. But the fact that he’d turned out how he did made his stomach churn. It wasn’t Nat’s fault, and he feels like a dick that his uncertainty even implied that. It was just… a lot of pressure.  

“Probably just.. Uncle Carmy.” He shrugs, finding solace in the space between Sydney’s eyebrows, which wrinkle when she furrows them in incredulity. Her cheeks dimple to accommodate a correspondent, disbelieving smile.  

“Not even, like, anything fun?” It was so easy to fall into banter with Carmen, even if the right thing to do was be furious at him for how he’d been acting these past few months. She’ll find time to pace in her apartment and scream into her hands about it later. 

Carmen makes a face like he’s being interrogated for a crime he didn’t commit.

“I– I don’t know. Maybe Uncle Bear. Maybe.” 

“Mmh.” Sydney nods and pushes her lips to the side, the digital pattern game she’d occupied herself with now abandoned in her lap. “I don’t even know if I’ll get to be an aunt. I just hope, like, the kid doesn’t say my name wrong, and then I’m stuck as, like.. Bibby for the rest of my life.”

“That’s..” Carmy lets out a soft breath of a chuckle. “I– I mean, okay.”

Syd sits up better and leans toward him briefly, her face almost accused. “What?! Don’t laugh, it’s a genuine concern to have!” 

She can’t help laughing, either. Maybe because it really is silly. Maybe because Carmen is contagious, sticking to her brain like beautiful Tuscan algae to the bottom of a pool. Sydney doesn’t think she ever wants to scrub it off. She’s sick in the head, she ultimately decides. 

Eight A.M. finally rolls around and the Bear's inner circle walk in a cluster down the halls of the maternity ward to Natalie’s room. Tina and Sydney chat quietly, the Faks loudly, both harboring excitement at the new addition to the family. Richie is quiet for once in his fucking life, hasn’t regarded Carmy the entire time he’d been there, aside from brief sidelong glances. He jolts when Richie’s shoulder bumps into his, barely playful. Still mad, but out of love. 

“You nervous, cousin?” He mumbles, perhaps out of respect to new, sleeping mothers. Anyone who knew him could tell he was thinking about the last time he walked down this corridor. 

Carmen shrugs because it’s the safe thing to do, running his fingers across closed lips. His eyes glitter when Sydney rolls her head back in laughter at something stupid Neil had said. “I mean– I dunno. It’s weird, ‘cause it’s like.. Real. Now. I guess.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Richie nods, unable to restrain himself from tickling Carmen’s face with the “It’s a girl!” teddy he’d bought in the hospital gift shop. Carmy bats it away, muttering “fuck off,” even if he’s smiling. 

He knows the anger won’t go forgotten, and that doesn’t upset him because Richie has a right. But they’re happy for Natalie, and that feeling seems to permeate throughout the entire hospital, full to bursting as his sister says his name and dubs him "Uncle Carmy" like he'd hoped. Doubt completely goes out the window when she asks him if he wants to hold the baby first, fixes his arms to support her head. Sydney briefly peeks over his shoulder, face contorting like she’s hurt by how adorable Baby Bear is. 

“Holy shit,” Carmen mutters, as a newborn fist grasps his finger. Her fingernails are so small, he thinks. Do not fucking drop her, for the love of God, he thinks next. He’s sure his worry is palpable, because Nat takes her back within seconds and sets her in the warmed bassinet beside the hospital bed. 

“She looks like a ham.” Sydney coos endearingly, her grin nearly face-splitting as she curls a finger in front of the baby’s sleeping face. “What color are her eyes?”

“Blue, but I think they’re gonna get darker like Pete’s.” Natalie relays softly, squeezing the hand of her husband. 

The conversation melts in Carmen’s ears, distant and muddled. It’s pleasant, for once. He doesn’t know the last time he’s felt this good, and he finds himself staring at Syd’s profile while she speaks. He doesn’t know if the resentment will return once the little welcoming party ends. He hopes that it doesn’t, not out of worth for Sydney’s care, but a yearning for it. Morning light pours through the room filled with sweet words and laughter, swathing the only important thing in Carmy’s life with rays of sunshine. It pools on her face like honey, and her eyes crinkle when she turns back to meet his gaze. Carmen doesn’t know if it’ll get better. 

All he knows is he needs her. 

[ambeauty]

thots on Claire

Something about the Claire/Faks scene made me think of Claire in a new light. When Neil is explaining how much Carmy does care about Claire to her. She says “it’s done.” It kinda shocked me. She’s clearly annoyed by this situation and anyone would be. She really doesn’t seem convinced of anything they are saying to her. She also said that Neil had texted her this several times. So the Faks have been running interference between CarmyClaire this whole time and mostly twisting Carmy’s exact words when he does speak about her…

He does think about her everyday. He said that, but what we know from his thoughts, it’s not always in a longing kind of way but more in a guilt ridden way imo. But never enough to make him take that leap and call/text her. At this point it’s been at least a month or two. Which is a long time to go without speaking to someone you supposedly loved and think about everyday. Does he miss her? Even if you embarrassed yourself or unintentionally hurt them. I wonder if Claire is truly done with the Berzatto shenanigans?

Based on the poll results, most people would not entertain the thought of being interested in an ex again based on these actions. Claire feels rejected. She’s allowed to feel hurt because from her perspective everyone told her that they were meant to be together or that they would be good together and in a moment of weakness, he confessed to thinking it was a waste of time. That stings because she had just confessed that she loved him. Albeit over voicemail but still. Her feelings are valid.

A Carmy and Claire confrontation is ahead and let’s just say worst case scenario Carmy wants to try to be with her again, would she even be open to dealing with all of that again???

[gingerylangylang1979]

Reddit and Twitter need this most but I won’t, because reasons

I have said before I don’t think ALL the Camry and Sydney hate is racially motivated but PLENTY of it is. It’s Richonne 2.0. This isn’t new to me.

There is the outright racist coded comments like claiming Sydney has to be a lesbian, has to be asexual, looks like Kendrick Lamar (yes, it was said), along with the inability to ever empathize with her character.

But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about unconscious bias with people who don’t get that they feel the way they do because Sydney is black. So anyone reading this may want to take a moment and honestly examine what I’m saying.

Unconscious bias is, for example, the thing that leads doctors, sometimes even black ones, to presume that black people don’t feel pain in the same way whites do. It’s not necessarily malicious intentional action or obvious hatred towards us. It’s subtle perceptions that change how one views the nature and capabilities of black people while still being able to be friends with them, respect certain qualities about them, and maybe even at times be allies. But there is always something different in perception that is so invisible that you aren’t aware of it.

I've seen it in white people, strangers and acquaintances, making assumptions about what I’m into or should be, what my education and earnings are, and who I should be friends and lovers with. It’s the thinking we can always handle anything and not be burdened. It’s what is happening a lot with Sydney, especially with Carmy.

People are allowed to not like the ship. They don’t have to. I’m not going to assume everyone who doesn’t is racist. But for anyone who doesn’t I think it would be beneficial to examine a few things.

Viewing the first scene between them, how would you interpret Carmy’s taken aback, entranced, nervous reaction to seeing her? To me it obviously says attraction and surprise. If there is another explanation I’ve never heard it. People just gloss over that interaction and I think it’s a tell. It shows that people may not be able to see him showing signs of attraction to her because she doesn’t look like who you would expect him to be attracted to.

2. How would you explain the way Carmy is constantly looking at Sydney closely like he doesn’t look at anyone else? When we see her from his perspective she if glowy or hazy or out of focus. We don’t see that with any other characters he interacts with aside from that finale flashback with Mikey. He doesn’t look at Sugar like that. Syd is the only one who gets special framing. If you’ve never noticed, why?

3. If you think Syd could be a lesbian or asexual, why her and not for instance Tina, or others on the crew? Sex isn’t referenced a lot so why is it not being referenced with her any different than it not being referenced with others? Often people assume a woman who dresses tomboyish is just that. Why can’t that just be her style? I have plenty of women friends that are straight and sexual with a similar style.

4. Could you imagine the scenes with Syd and Carmy if a man was in Sydney’s place? What would you think of the vibe?

5. Could you see Ayo in the Claire role?

6. Could you see Jeremy and Ayo playing love interests in a totally different show?

7. If Molly Gordon plays Syd could you better picture her with Carmy?

8. When you see a dark skinned black woman in a couple with a white man IRL does it make you especially take notice or feel it’s a bit off?

9. Does the thought of Sydney and Carmy kissing or being intimate make you have an extreme reaction like eeew or gross? Maybe not so extreme does it make you feel awkward to think about it?

10. Do you often compare their relationship to siblings?

11. Can you recognize the Syd isn’t into Marcus romantically and has other options?

12. Can you only envision Sydney alone and not needing romance because her career is all she needs?

13. Do you think maybe Carmy could find her attractive if she looked more glamorous?

14. Could you more easily see Carmy into Syd if she was played by Zendaya or someone that looks similar?

15. Have you never seen a couple that looks like Syd and Carmy?

16. if you saw the Emmy magazine photo shoot did you not perceive the touchy pose with Ayo and Jeremy as sexually suggestive and think it’s an impossibility?

17. How do you think Clairs would react if she saw all of their interactions?

18. Is it easy to view Sydney as having complex motivations and emotions at the same time? Can you possibly see that she’s jealous of Claire because she distracted Carmy from business AND because she has feelings for Carmy? Is it possible to think she can view Carmy as a boss, mentor, and someone she is attracted too and that’s hard to process?

All of these things may not apply to your perception but if any do realize these are very common examples of how unconscious bias plays out when thinking of black women, especially in storytelling. This is a lot of what has historically been seen with similar ships and IRL mixed couples. That’s not to discount the numerous white man, white woman ships that people don’t like, but these things are consistently present with black women and white men presented in the media and celebrity couples. There is always more scrutiny with these pairings.

You may not have a context to understand that. You may have never been questioned in this way. You may be angered to think it’s possible this is a role in how you are viewing things, but it’s the truth based on lived experience and observation. It’s worth examining.

I’m not here to be hostile, I’m just trying to voice in a gentle way what so many here already know and you may not be aware of or ready to think about.

I’m not going to argue with anybody about it but any intelligent, respectful dialogue is welcome and encouraged.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[neenerisms]

enough rambles has gotten me to this point and the time has passed. the bear s4 wishlist right now.

(quick note these all dont have to happen in the same plot LMAO. its more of a "if at least ONE of these things happen, i'll be happy!" thing)

i'm starting this out on a rough foot: carmy and syd argument. it has to happen. i was serious about that when i said in a previous post. in each other's faces and everything. i need us circling back to the s1 vibes right now.

add on: this argument needs to be what prompts syd to leave. i need that whole crew seeing carmy as a bad guy for a few days. white boy loss!

more richie lore. more berzatto lore. more syd lore. all three. in terms of berzatto lore i'd fucking kill to know about their dad tbh. richie lore? i need to know how he got so close to the berzattos. there's obviously something going on in his family to why he's never seen with them. syd lore? ohhh so much shit i wanna know. her family! the catering! little backstory on her tats! storer don't even give me the fucking season if i don't get a syd centric episode.

i also really want a mikey centric episode too!! i understand that he's supposed to haunt the narrative, but i really want to see something about him rather than it just being "oh shit! mikey! anyways—".

marcus/syd/luca trio friendship. look, i have a lot that i want but i need this at the most. getting a scene where they all cook and shittalk carmy is something that will get me through the day.

i can feel the tomato that's about to be tossed at me, but carmy has to apologize to claire. the way i see it, he has three main people he needs to apologize to: her, richie (no, the one he did in ep 1 does not count. it was half-assed and he's more worried about the fact he did it rather than fixing the problem.) and syd. in my mind, i don't think he's ever going to get the balls to apologize to the other two if he doesn't apologize to her first. (or it might be flipped to where he cant apologize to her until he learns how to apologize to those two, but i'd prefer the former to be honest!)

rough foot p2: imo the bear can't come out in one piece. whether it's because of a bad review, jimmy running out of money as a whole so it can't get it funded anymore or, i semi remember someone saying burn it down. (which? i'd weirdly like??? i'd be devastated as fuck if that happened but also...i'm really interested to see the comeback from that.) i just need a wakeup call for carmy for the overall state of the kitchen. (also because i just DON'T see the show ending with it being like "and they did fine dining forever!" it just feels disappointing to end it that way, especially if the sandwich window is apparently doing way better than the restaurant itself...take us back to the roots!! or something!!)

the bear's timeline is so fucking confusing to the point i don't know what's the current date in the show right now (i've been assuming somewhere in between july-august?) so this one is less than likely to happen but i want them to go to some kind of award thing so bad...james beard or something else i don't fucking care, just give me the group in formal wear please. (extra points if this the only time they're bonding after a while!)

i'm not really into shipping culture like that w/ this show (aka idc who gets with who as long as they're happy.) BUT sydcarmies should at least be allowed a win with the way carmy apologizes to syd. i really want it to be somewhere personal and i hope it includes well—food. drop the collaborative dish while they talk in syd's apartment, thank you. (cause it's gonna leave a sour taste in my mouth if they're uncomfortably distant for life.)

lastly, don't give me anymore copenhagen flashbacks. don't get me wrong, i love seeing carmy happy but every time i read kitchen confidential, (which is mostly set in nyc) i just think "i wonder if carmy went through the same shit". more nyc carmy please if we're going to get flashbacks on past culinary experiences! it doesn't even have to be about fields, but i really wanna see what happened in other places carmy visited.

i feel like that's all in my head for now? feel free to elaborate on these, it's just me spitting out random shit that's been in my head. (i might make a hc list soon? is that something people want????)

[brzatto]

Hello again! Since I started watching season 2 of the bear I've been building up some thoughts regarding the overarching plot and characterisation. I haven't been able to share my ramblings with anyone else, so I hope it's ok to share them with you. It's been a while since I've been this disappointed by the direction a show has taken. :(

I mentioned before on one of your posts that I saw Carmy as asexual, or at least not seeking a physical or romantic relationship with women. In season 1 I was so happy that Sydney was kept as a colleague/friend, which carries into season 2. I was legitimately hopeful to get just one show where the main character doesn't have a contrived romance storyline. I feel they always just derail the main plot for meaningless character interactions with terrible dialogue, with male and female characters never being allowed to just be friends. When Claire was introduced I audibly GROANED. Manic pixie dream girl has entered the chat.

The scene in episode 6 where Richie and Mikey are saying how in love Carmy is with Claire, how amazing she is, how hot she is—it felt like they were trying to convince me and not Carmy. You and others have said before how Claire just exists to be a love interest, and every scene with her does nothing except try (desperately) to solidify that. I feel like I'm being repeatedly beaten with a bat that has "Claire is nice so you should like her" written on it. The scene where Richie is legitimately upset that he messed up the generator and is worried Carmy will dismiss him—why was Claire laughing at that? I thought she was meant to be nice? That's what every character keeps telling me... Every scene with her drags, every character that mentions her name suddenly causes the scene to shift to focusing on Claire. It's like Claire is the centre of the universe and is pulling in and crushing everything with her gravitational pull.

When Carmy kissed Claire in episode 5 it made me lose hope for his characterisation. It was like I was instead watching JAW's character from Shameless. All nuance thrown out the window for a rushed relationship with no chemistry. His journey to heal from his traumas and come to terms with Mikey's death sidelined to make way for boring shot reverse shot talking scenes with Claire. Carmy doing restaurant business? Nah, let's watch him and Claire have some boring dialogue during a car journey.

Hater mode activated: Claire as a character is boring, shallow, and only added because "hur dur boy must like girl". Despite what her character was supposedly introduced for, I think her introduction just caused season 2 to waste time on meaningless fluff that actively made other characters worse by association.

I have 3 episodes left to watch but I'm feeling pretty low about this season. I shouldn't have expected an asexual main character because I just set myself up for disappointment, but the bear really had me thinking it wouldn't do something this lame. I'm still carmrichie for life though, your fics are keeping me hanging on. Sorry for such a long and depressing ramble in your inbox. ❤️

P.S. The scene with Richie and Mikey confronting Carmy in episode 6 really gave me vibes of Carmy being closeted and feeling pressured about his friendship with a girl (similar to what you previously said about the monologue in s1e8). I also got vibes of Richie trying to hide his own insecurities with women by being vulgar in this scene.

hi! <3

if i’m being honest i agree about everything :/ and i hate saying that this show’s disappointed me because all of my friends know just how much this show means to me and the steel grip it’s had on my brain for the past year since the first season first came out… i feel like i’m partially the problem because my expectations were probably too high + the shift between s1 and s2 was very drastic and i’m honestly not a huge fan of change either. i’m not sure exactly what i expected from s2 but the demo and remodeling of the beef felt very rushed to me… like the restaurant was undergoing very significant changes but all of that felt like it was put on the backburner in favor of focusing on the characters. and obviously a show will focus more on individual character storylines than settings (and i actually did really enjoy some of the growth we got for our side characters, sydney marcus tina and richie’s episodes were all amazing and i loved that sugar’s presence was much more prominent this season) but like you said the claire plotline with carmy felt very out of place and ooc… it just felt extremely weird for carmy’s character to make this jump from s1 where we see all the emotional trauma he still suffers from being so attached to mikey, how he uses the beef as a distraction for his grief but obviously those two things are deeply intertwined for him and by obsessing over the beef day and night carmy still remains entrenched in mikey by extension—there’s still so much about carmy’s trauma in relation to mikey that’s been left unaddressed and imo he still largely lacks closure and i was expecting that to be fleshed out properly in s2 but instead he spent all of it being infatuated with a girl we were introduced to for the very first time this season.

can i say something actually. ik the creators and both jaw and ayo have all said that there won’t be any romance between carmy and sydney but i feel like they actually will be endgame and the creators are just trying to throw fans off so they won’t expect it LMAO or at the very least the way the writers have set up the storyline leaves it open as an option if they do change their minds and decide to go that route eventually. i’ve said before that i don’t ship them but i think there is a genuine and undeniable bond between carmy and sydney, although i enjoy their relationship platonically their dynamic and relationship has waaayy more depth than whatever carmy and claire are supposed to have going on… and i hate disliking female characters for being bland and stale because 9 times out of 10 it’s never their fault that they’re written that way, but seeing how realistic, grounded and likable our other female characters are (sydney, natalie, tina) it feels like there’s less of an excuse for her to be that way. she feels like a generic self insert pulled out of a x reader fanfic 😭 i immediately got the romantic vibe from her and carmy even from the season trailer but seeing what we’ve been told about carmy’s character i was sincerely hoping that i was misinterpreting it and she was just his cousin or something lmfsodoajaoaj and it felt so cheap and tacky for them to pull the “actually she’s his estranged childhood friend and he’s always had a crush on her!” card in e6. i also agree with what you said about that conversation sounding like carmy being closeted while richie and mikey tease him… also was kind of put off by the way they were talking about her tbh especially considering the fact she’s supposed to be carmy’s age and we know they’re both significantly older? i’ve also actually never considered interpreting it as richie overcompensating in that scene since he was still with tiff at the time (who i actually loved… i have my beef with carmy and claire but i would stand by tiff and richie until the end of time actually) but now that you mention it i think that makes sense too… much to think about

i can’t remember if i’ve said this before in another post but i also really disliked how love triangley they framed all of sydney’s interactions with carmy in relation to claire… i understood the purpose of other characters instilling this seed of doubt in her about her partnership with carmy and whether or not she was capable of trusting him, really trusting him, but i feel like there were multiple moments of unnecessary tension between the three of them and like you said, i’m so tired of contrived romance subplots in shows where there’s a female and male lead. i love carmy and sydney as individual characters but the possibility of their relationship being romantic just genuinely does not compute with me in my brain… that being said though it genuinely was very wild to me that everyone involved in the show made it clear on multiple occasions that there was no intention of sydney and carmy’s relationship going in that direction, just for them to introduce some random white girl this season just to give carmy a love interest. like? this season was longer than the first one and they still weren’t able to flesh out carmy and claire’s relationship and dynamic the way they did with him and sydney in s1, they felt so incredibly rushed and it was ABSURD to me when carmy openly admitted to liking and even loving her because those are things that feel like they should be so monumental for someone like him, who is supposed to be emotionally traumatized and romantically inexperienced—it was honestly strange to me hearing him tell even richie that he loved him and you know how i feel about them so. anyways you pretty much summed up my feelings towards claire and her plotline perfectly, and i genuinely wish that weren’t the case but i feel like that plays a part in why i find myself so incapable of rewatching this season t_t and i know objectively the point of the plotline was to show that carmy actually isn’t at a place in his life where he’s capable of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship/balancing it with his work but it still just felt strange to derail from the whole grief theme/mikey plotline for that when i was expecting them to delve even deeper into that this season instead.

i’m assuming you’ve finished the season since sending me this—just in case you haven’t i’ll refrain from talking about anything else that might spoil you but i will say that the one thing they absolutely did correct this season was e7. i’ve been dying for a richie centric episode and that gave me everything i could’ve asked for, it was so so gratifying seeing richie find his niche like that and i’m so excited to see what else the series has in store for him. this season wasn’t all bad but i was admittedly disappointed by a few things—nevertheless all that being said i did actually genuinely enjoy how the season ended and where it left off; that felt a lot more like s1 to me and i’m eager to see how they’ll pick things back up between carmy and richie specifically next season… hopefully s2 is just a product of middle child syndrome and s3 will blow us out of the water

[etherealising]

All I can think about is Carmy being at work after the events of this chapter completely dazed because he just lost his virginity to the woman he’s loved longer than he’s even known what the word love means so how is he supposed to focus on anything other than they way it felt to be with her.

Also! He hasn’t kissed anyone since kissing her basically half a lifetime ago!?!? I’m shocked but also believe it. I feel like Carmy just doesn’t think anyone else is worth giving time or attention to (and maybe taking away from his self imposed misery) which makes him giving all of it to Baby so much sweeter, but does make me wonder how the thing with Claire happens when in the years since high school he hasn’t shown any kind of romantic interest or desire for anyone other than Baby.

it really wasn’t his best day in the kitchen that’s for sure. like he was just playing their time together on a loop in his head montage style like when the wife dies at the beginning of a movie.

yeah believe it! i kind of played into the whole ‘“i’ve never had a girlfriend” line from season 1 at the al-anon meeting and ran with it lol. he definitely doesn’t think anyone else is worth the time/effort and not in like a rude or cocky way, but he doesn’t think he can set aside his flaws and allow another person to know/learn him the way baby does.

sorry to this woman! but claire’s the easy option, she’s safe. there’s not that much history between them and because of that there aren’t many expectations. in a way he can pretend with claire as opposed to baby who knows him like the back of her hand.

[imliterallyjustablackgirl]

I'm fascinated about how the both of them will react to Marcus's attempt at dating Syd, mostly about FF night. I like Marcus but I genuinly think that Syd being the only girl + being a black woman made him think that this allowed him to explode like that. TO YELL AT her like that( because his boss Carmy and Richie does it) instead of it being seen has she is coming back in the Bear because she has faith in the vision, it is seen has throught his eyes as it is an ok behavior because she" came back", HIS boss aka Carmy coming to interfere and showing it isn't ok seems to be the only reason he left Syd alone in a sense, I feel like Marcus wouldnt have focused on anything else because of how unheard he felt. Despite feeling shut down, Syd was clearly overwhealmed and busy. Isn't it fascinating that from all the boys above technically Richie is the only one who didn't yell at Syd that night. How even more interesting is the fact that Marcus yelled at Syd, Carmy reassured her, then Carmy complains about the fishes and process to eventually get stuck in the Freezer where he yells FOR Syd ( special mention of Connor 👀 saying "Jesus" ) and THEN Richie helps her. All her boys failed her to some degree.

- Marcus being her friend first failed her by seemingly be so consommed by his ego he thought that Syd was ignoring her because of earlier, instead of she has alot on her plate and this isn't helping or it is FAMILY & FRIEND night so her head is in the game.

- Carmen couldn't be a reliable partner at the moment, the past caught to him.

I genuinly think someone correct me if I am wrong but before Carmen's go in the kitchen he is at CLAIRE'S table, speaks w Nat about Donna (+the toilet) then he hears from someone that " why are you/is it so slow " ( at first I thought he was having an auditory hallucinations, because the voice seemed like his old boss's and since he has been hallucinating him..) then he goes to Syd about the fishes being cold, to refire it. I wonder if this scene and time frame : Claire --> toilet ---> fishes cold --> Syd didnt mean anything. My theory is the complain he felt as if going at his gf's table was a waste of his time, "every second counts", the time he spent with Claire.. the fishes wouldnt have gotten cold but he can't be angry at himself because he already is and now he is aware of Donna, of his past , of Claire and how much Syd has been handling in her own in a sense. He was at the same table he promised of not letting her fall before , INFRONT of the kitchen attending to his gf (orange - almost sépia colors in the scene referencing the past) before he goes BACK to the blue- ish frantic element where Syd is, hidden.

Carmy Berzatto vs Richie Jerimovich

Isn’t it interesting that every time Carmy calls out for Sydney, Syd and Richie are talking to each?

We have seen lots of discussion of how Carmy, Marcus and Syd are in a love triangle, but with how season 2 ended, I think we may have another triangle and this will be extra spicy.

We will probably see Syd rely on Richie more next season and this will piss Carmy off.

What do you think of Richie and Syd getting close and how will Carmy react? We saw Carmy being extra when Marcus and Connor spoke to Syd so imagine how he will react when it is Richie.