#carlos needs a hug

[1heartfanfics]

Carlos has PTSD after 4x04 part 2.

~spoilers~

"Dude," Nancy said, reaching over to nudge T.K. as she pulled the ambulance into the bay of the station.

"Huh?" T.K. asked, looking up from his phone. "What?" he asked when Nancy didn't say anything. She finished parking and then nodded her toward something. Confused, T.K. looked over to where she was gesturing.

"Shit," he muttered, realizing what she'd been trying to tell him.

Carlos was sitting at the table in the stations dining area. What was he doing here?

Despite insisting that T.K. go back to work, he knew that Carlos struggled while he was gone. Especially after dark. Most nights T.K. would come home to find Carlos anxiously pacing the apartment or bouncing his legs nervously at the kitchen counter, unshed tears welling in his eyes.

But Carlos barely went anywhere these days, even with T.K. Aside from his weekly therapy sessions and the occasional walk around the block with T.K. he just stayed at the apartment. He certainly hadn't driven himself anywhere since everything happened.

"Is that Carlos?" Tommy asked, poking her head up from the back of the rig as Nancy finished parking.

"Yes," Nancy answered when T.K. didn't say anything. His thoughts were racing, trying to think of what might have happened that was bad enough for Carlos to come here.

"Is everything okay?" Tommy glanced back and forth between T.K. and Nancy, trying to figure out what was going on.

T.K. hadn't really told anyone how bad things were. Carlos hadn't wanted people to know. Nancy was the only one who had some idea, because she was the person T.K. worked most closely with, and she'd always been able to tell when T.K. was lying.

"I don't know..." Nancy trailed off, both of them watching as T.K. hopped down out of the rig, heading quickly over to Carlos.

Judd was sitting at the table opposite Carlos, while his Dad leaned back against the counter. They both looked over at T.K. as he approached, their faces asking 'what's going on?'.

Carlos was staring down at his hands in his lap, one leg bouncing quickly. But T.K. knew that wasn't what they were concerned about. He knew they were looking at the dark circles under Carlos's eyes and how gaunt his face looked from the weight he'd lost, unable to eat much most days.

"Hey Carlos, your boy's here," Judd said, as T.K. got close.

Carlos's head snapped up, turning to look at T.K. as he walked toward the table. He fumbled over himself to scoot the chair back and stand.

"T.K.?" Carlos's voice shook, and T.K. knew he was close to tears.

"Baby," T.K. said softly, reaching out toward Carlos as he closed the distance between them.

As T.K. grabbed Carlos's shoulder to pull him into a hug Carlos let out a sob. He immediately pressed himself against T.K., arms circling tightly around his back, face pressed into his shoulder.

"Okay, okay. I've got you baby," T.K. murmured in Carlos's ear, keeping one arm wrapped tightly around Carlos's waist while the other hand moved to tangle in Carlos's curls, something that always helped calm him down.

Judd and Owen were both watching, looking at T.K. with confusion and concern written on their faces. 'Is he okay?' Owen mouthed. T.K. just shook his head. He'd have to explain later.

"C'mon love, let's go upstairs," T.K. said, pulling Carlos away from him slightly. He kept one arm wrapped around his waist, leading him through the kitchen and up the stairs to their bunks with a hand on his hip.

When they stepped into the bunkroom, Marjan, Paul, and Mateo all looked up from where they'd been chatting on Marjan's bunk. Their expression quickly changed from excited to worried when they saw Carlos pressed against T.K.'s side, crying into his shoulder.

Marjan opened her mouth to say something, but quickly stopped when T.K. gave a quick shake of his head. Then he silently led Carlos over to his bunk, helping him sit down at the edge of the bed.

Hushed voices came from the other side of the bunkroom as T.K.'s colleagues spoke. Carlos jumped, eyes going wide as he looked around the room.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, just look at me alright? Eyes on me," T.K. said, crouching down in front of Carlos and taking both hands in his.

Out of the corner of his eye, T.K. saw the three firefighters leaving the bunkroom. Mateo caught his eye for just a second as he pulled the door shut behind them. T.K. wondered what Nancy had told him, because unlike everyone else he seemed to have a look of understanding.

"Breathe baby, you're safe here," T.K. said, turning his full attention back to Carlos. He took in a slow, deep breath, modeling for Carlos to follow.

"Hey there," T.K. said once Carlos had taken a few good slow breaths. He moved from his crouched position in front of Carlos to sit next to him on the bed.

"I-I'm sorry, for coming here, I just-" Carlos started shakily.

"Baby don't. You are always welcome here," T.K. cut him off, reaching over to cup Carlos's cheek in his hand, turning his face toward him. "Always," he said again, ducking his head to meet Carlos's eyes.

"I just needed to see you," Carlos whispered, tears starting to spill down his cheeks again.

"I'm right here," T.K. said. He took Carlos's face in both of his hands, swiping the tears away with his thumbs as they fell. Carlos leaned forward to press his forehead to T.K.'s.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, until T.K. pulled away. He silently maneuvered them so T.K. was leaned back against the wall behind his bunk with Carlos curled up against his chest.

The bunkroom door opened, and his Dad peaked his head in. Thankfully Carlos didn't notice, but T.K. shook his head. Silently asking his Dad not to come in. Owen nodded in understanding, but he lingered in the doorway. T.K. gave a small shrug and a wince. They'd talk later. For now he just needed to take care of Carlos.

[abusivelittlebunny]

Daddy's perfect little machine

[inrockstarfashion]

I just want to be domestic with him.

I want to wake up and make him coffee. I want to be cooking breakfast and see him stumbling into the kitchen with crazy bed head, all bleary eyed, and hug me from behind before kissing the side of my head. I want to hug him and kiss his cheek. I want to lay on top of him and draw random shapes on his chest while we watch TV. I want him to lay on top of me while I run my fingers through his hair and trace the features on his face.

I just want to be soft with him.

Ciao!

[combiezombine]

it's been one of those nights of staring at the ceiling wondering why I'm alive

[dear-viv]

The pain, the love, the vulnerability in their eyes.

They need a hug so badly 😭

[leclercskiesahead]

Ahhhhhhhhh this photo

[just-an-enby-lemon]

My brain is unable to produce anything but angst.

Like I had this cute fluff idea of Carlos being a Ford fanboy and moving to Nightvale inspired by his favorite scientist going to study Gravity Falls in the 70s/80s. All mostly based on the fact Carlos moved to Nightvale the same year Mabel and Dipper went spend the summer at Gravity Falls.

And it was cute. It was mostly Carlos sending fan letters/reports and Ford reading them and deciding - thanks to Mabel - to answer and making a friend he didn't had a complicated past with (and had a similar love for science).

But them my brain went "Ford would fully assume Cecil was like Bill, right?" I mean from Ford's view there's a paranormal guy who imidiatly is into the scientist? Clearly manipulation.

And at first it was still fine. Maybe Ford helped Carlos own inicial distrust of Cecil. But my brain kept going. To the point it decided that maybe what makes Stan and Ford visit Nighvale after the Weirdmagedon is the news that Carlos is not being cautelos and instead is dating Cecil.

So at this point it was still just a funny au with Ford thinking Cecil is some type of evil charming eldrish god that'll end the world while Cecil is just bonding with Stan and super trying to impress his bf friends.

But finally my brain went: "okay but what about after Ford realizes that Cecil is just an overly dramatic paranormal guy and truly just loves Carlos?". And I realized that while of course Ford would be happy for his friend and relived about the world he would feel even more as if Bill was his fault. Here is Carlos just getting a sweet guy and maybe he was the only one that couldn't see the difference.

And now I need someone to write it and give Ford a hug.

[holeodemony]

Laughing crying choking on my tears why am I constantly haunted by the thoughts of all these tragic little gay men I just want then to be okay for once yet terrible things always happen why they just need to be in each others arms and in my arms I need to comfort them why because they're tragic little gay men and they're stuck in my head and consuming my every waking thought and I'm not okay because they're not okay.

[alexturntable]

carlossainz55 🥶 Cold baths are not my thing

[1heartfanfics]

Carlos PTSD fic as promised. *S4 spoilers*

-Set right after Carlos is held hostage and almost killed in S4E4 "Abandoned"-

"Hey baby," T.K. said as he stepped inside their loft.

Carlos, who was sitting on one end of the couch, gave T.K. a forced smile, but didn't respond.

"How are you?" T.K. asked, even though he already knew the answer. Carlos shrugged.

Sighing, T.K. took off his coat and his shoes, setting his bag down on the floor before joining Carlos on the couch. Carlos was staring down at his lap, looking small somehow.

"Hey," T.K. said, ducking his head to try and meet his lovers eyes. When he was unsuccessful, he reached out to touch Carlos's cheek, gently turning his face toward his own.

"Hey," Carlos whispered back, eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"Oh baby," T.K. sighed, his heart hurting, "Rough day?" he asked.

"No. That's the stupid thing," Carlos said, turning away from T.K. The tears had started to slip down his cheeks, but he sounded frustrated.

"What do you mean baby?" T.K. asked, confused.

"I had a good day. I took a walk and ate two whole meals and did some laundry. Like a normal person. But then it got dark and you were just a little bit late and now I'm fucking crying," Carlos explained, letting out a sound that was something between a forced laugh and a sob.

"You can have good days that aren't all good," T.K. told him, taking one of Carlos's hands in his.

"I just feel so stupid," Carlos said, swiping angrily at the tears on his face.

"Hey," T.K. said softly, "Be kind to yourself. Recovery isn't linear, and it looks different for everyone. You are entitled to feel however it is you feel whenever you feel it," he continued.

Carlos sighed, slumping back into the corner of the couch. He looked so small again, all of the anger and frustration seeming to have left him, replaced by exhaustion.

"Why don't we go to bed?" T.K. suggested, feeling pretty tired himself after a long day on shift.

But this was apparently the wrong thing to say as Carlos sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide as he gripped T.K.'s hand more tightly.

"Okay, hey, it's alright. We'll just put on a movie and lay down out here okay?" T.K. amended.

Carlos nodded, relaxing again. He shifted to let T.K. squeeze in behind him then maneuver them so they were both laying down, Carlos leaned back against T.K.'s chest. T.K. quickly turned something on the tv, then wrapped his arms around Carlos, holding him tightly. Carlos fell asleep to the sound of T.K.'s heart beating.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

T.K. woke up with a start, feeling like not much time had passed since he'd fallen asleep. He realized the weight against his chest was missing and forced his eyes open to see Carlos sitting on the floor in front of the couch. His knees were pulled to his chest, slumped forward with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth.

"Carlos, baby?" T.K. asked, rubbing his eyes to try and wake up as he scooted closer to his boyfriend.

He quickly realized, Carlos was hyperventilating, breath coming in short gasps that caused his shoulders to hitch. Shit, panic attack. That woke T.K. up. He quickly got up off the couch, sliding their coffee table out of the way so he could sit on the floor in front of Carlos.

"Hey, I'm gonna touch you okay?" T.K. made sure to let Carlos know before reaching out to grab both of his hands. Carlos still startled for a second before relaxing slightly into the touch when he realized it was just T.K. When he looked up, T.K. could see the fear in his eyes.

"I can't- br-breath," Carlos gasped, one hand fumbling to grab at T.K.'s shirt.

"I know love, but it's gonna be okay," T.K. said, voice steady. He moved Carlos's hand, which had found a fistful of his t-shirt, to rest over his heart. "Feel that?" he asked.

Carlos nodded slightly, but his chest continued to hitch with labored breaths, tears streaming down his face. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut.

"Eyes on me baby, just focus on my heart beating," T.K. said softly. Carlos opened his eyes, locking them with T.K.'s. He managed to take in one good breath full of air, but then lurched forward with a sob, which took away all of his air again.

"Fuck- Tyler I-" Carlos cried.

"Hey, Carlos, look at me," T.K. said, "I know you're scared but I promise you're safe, I've got you. But we gotta get your breathing slowed down baby."

One of Carlos's hands still pressed firmly over T.K.'s heart, which was beating strong and steady. T.K. moved his other hand to hold Carlos's cheek, rubbing his thumb gently to dry the tears that continued to fall.

"Focus on my heartbeat, and breath with me," T.K. said, starting to take slow, exaggerated breaths for Carlos to follow. He knew that if Carlos stayed worked up like this for too long he'd make himself sick.

Slowly but surely, Carlos breaths became less erratic. The steady stream of tears had stopped and his breathing returned more or less to normal.

"There we go, you're doing good baby, just keep breathing," T.K. said, continuing to demonstrate the slow, measured breaths. But then his breath suddenly hitched, facing turning pale in the dim light of the hall lamp.

T.K. was already reaching for the trash can next to the couch when Carlos said, "I'm gonna be sick-". It was in his lap just in time for him to pitch forward and throw up into the bin.

"Easy babe, I've got you. Just get it up," T.K. soothed, moving to sit beside Carlos so he could rub his back as he coughed and spit into the bin. Apparently he hadn't gotten calmed down quickly enough. Being anxious and panicked had always turned Carlos's stomach.

A moment later Carlos slumped against T.K.'s side, head on his shoulder, obviously spent. Between the panic attack and the vomiting he had to be exhausted. T.K. gave Carlos a few minutes to breath, then silently helped him up off the floor, leading him up the stairs to their bedroom. They laid down together, Carlos's head resting on T.K.'s chest, so he could feel and hear his heart beating.

"You're safe here with me," T.K. whispered, running his fingers through Carlos's hair. That always calmed him down. He only hoped that Carlos could sleep through the rest of the night.

[void-king-art]

[guardian-angle22]

911 Lone Star | TK Strand’s affectionate head ~plonk~

↳ for @ladytessa74

[hail-hawk-eye]

TARLOS ANGSTY SMUT FIC:

"It Doesn't Have to be Perfect"

Summary:

It was their anniversary and TK was more than prepared to celebrate it with his boyfriend. He was looking forward to their celebratory events tonight. It had to be perfect for him. For Carlos.

So, why was this feeling slowly nestling in his mind starting to tell him otherwise?

----------------

My first Tarlos fic AND my first time writing smut, so I hope everyone enjoys it. Feel free to leave comments after reading it I'd love to hear what everyone thinks!

[tailoredshirt]

Carlos just sat down in that hospital chair and held vigil for a man who had broken up with him months ago. He didn’t question it. Nobody questioned it. Of course he’s the only one who sits in TK’s room instead of the waiting area. Of course he’s the one the nurses deliver news to and let into the room first when TK wakes up. They might as well have been married for all that nobody around them wondered, even once, why he was there or what he was feeling.

They knew! He knew! The hospital janitor knew! Them being broken up meant nothing. A temporary inconvenience, a blip in the radar.

Carlos belonged at TK’s bedside, now and always.

[loxenask]

And thats how I sold my soul to the gas station, thanks ladies and gentlemans

Jacky

[carlos-in-glasses]

Following my post about Carlos' shoulders when he's feeling sexy vs scared, I would like to present:

TK's hands when he's feeling sexy:

And TK's hands when he's feeling cute as a button: