#captain stede bonnet

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

Stede Bonnet sneakers

[crowleysmullet]

The beauty of Stede Bonnet

[beeesworld]

Do you fancy a fine fabric?

[stedes-incredible-library]

Hi! Same anon asking for fave lists, I’d love to hear from all the mods!

Hello! Here are some of our favourites in no particular order (mind the tags and also check the pairings!)

stuck in second gear by tediousdelusion [E], 69k nice

“I want a divorce.” Izzy’s said the words more times than once in the past eighteen years of marriage, but he means them this time. More than he ever has before, anyway. At the prow of the very expensive and very unnecessary boat parked in the driveway, Edward - Izzy’s idiot (soon-to-be-ex) husband - sighs and rolls his eyes. “Come on, Iz!” Ed shouts. He’s wearing a stupid fucking captain’s hat and has one foot propped against the rail. “The boat is an investment! And it’ll be fun.” Or, how Izzy Hands saves his marriage (and gains a boyfriend) by getting a divorce.

would you worship gravity by bitethehands [E], 60k

At precisely the seven-and-a-half hour mark, Izzy prepares the cabin for landing. Ed’s crackly voice buzzes over the loudspeaker with the announcement. He’s not thinking specifically of Finance Consultant Guy, nor of anything bar the inevitable banality of deboarding, so it genuinely catches him off-guard when a hand closes over his wrist. “Apologies for being forward, but what are you doing after this?” - Izzy is a flight attendant. Edward is a pilot. Stede is the first-class passenger who won’t stop chasing after them both.

piña coladas by faeeebaeee [E], WIP

The 80s are in full swing, and the golden decade of Nintendo Gameboys’ and Sony Walkmans’ has never looked better. In the neon jungle, Stede Bonnet, a young salaryman, meets enigmatic mechanic apprentice Edward Teach, and the pair strike up an unlikely friendship via fax machine, page beepers and gifts in the mail.

~Mod N

What Kind of Pirate Has a Friend? by @thetardigrape [E], 31k pre-canon

A story of Edward Teach and Jack Rackham, the two youngest pirates in Captain Hornigold's crew. Friendship, fucking, and fighting. Maybe some fuckery.

The Body Knows by @veeagainsttheday [M], 21k canon adjacent, magical realism, spooky vibes

Stede Bonnet thought he was finally free by faking his own death with a fuckery and leaving everything to his widow and children. He was wrong.

The World Beyond by @veeagainsttheday [E], 43k Alternate Universe

The Colorado River runs dry and sparks thirty years of Water Wars. Blackbeard is the most legendary water pirate in the desert; the Gentleman Pirate broke his heart. Now Stede is searching for the love of his life and Ed is planning his retirement. Unfortunately the remaining Cinco Gallos are still looking for Jim and the cults might be right about the biggest conspiracy theory of the last three decades...

~Mod A (I have a wildly hard time picking favorites of anything. What I've done here is pare down a selection of favorite authors, then shuffled through those for fics that truly haven't left me alone since I read them, then spun that down until I had the three that had the fewest hits. All three are by authors whose entire fandom catalogue I would recommend.)

tastes so sweet it hurts a little by florence_after_midnight [E], 8.3k

“Suits you,” Izzy says, hoping Ed hears the reverence in his voice. “You think?” Ed says, in a playful tone that makes it clear she’s not looking for reassurance but shamelessly fishing for compliments. Fair, Izzy thinks, she deserves all the praise in the world. He’s never been good with words, so he tries to put it all into the simple act of touching her. You’re the most beautiful woman in the fucking world, says the finger tracing the floral pattern of the lace. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, says his thumb running up her sternum. I’d gladly worship at your feet all day, says his left hand finding hers, lacing their fingers together and squeezing tight. or: The one where Ed buys lingerie and Izzy loses his mind about it.

take the pain, take the pleasure by @shatteredhourglass [E], 10k

“If I didn’t know better,” Ed says, hand tracing down Jack’s arm slowly, deceptively gentle, “I’d think you were fucking around with my things, Jack.” In which Ed and Izzy collectively menace the men who choose to get involved with them. Or, five times someone wasn't allowed to fuck Izzy Hands' pussy, and one time they were

everybody's got their limits (nobody's found mine) by @oopshidaisyy [E], 16k

After 153 days, killing Stede Bonnet had begun to lose its appeal. (Or: Izzy gets stuck in a time loop.)

~Mod 🐁

[internerdionality]

The unholy trio:

Bonus:

lets make a new trope: gay characters who are actually seemingly impossible to kill to the point that all of their enemies are comically frustrated. functionally immortal gay characters. being gay making you immortal. unkillable gay trope.

[soapbubbles511]

👀👀👀

[nortism]

i’ll be honest, i’m not 100% sure stede has canonically said ‘jolly good’ but he has the right energy

[mytranssnakes]

Gay people love having breakups before theyre even together, and then get together anyway

[gentlebeardschild]

art

Ed can do both but Stede's got a-

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

Stede: GASP you burned people alive, Ed? Who’d do such a thing!

Stede yesterday: /burns ship with 300 people aboard/

Stede: Mary you are cheating ON ME, STEDE, YOUR HUSBAND

Stede yesterday: /making out with Blackbeard, the infamous pirate/

Stede: Your story is absolute garbage, my illiterate crew! Not on Shakespeare’s level at all!

Also Stede: The man had a hook for a head ooh spooky

Stede: It is very important you SHARE

Also Stede: /closet full of 64466 clothes while his crew goes around in rags/

Stede: That woman selling maps by the docks is lazy

Also Stede: /hasn’t worked a day in his life/

???? I love him but girl please

[crab-boy-blues]

They are so important to me

🥹🥰🫶🏼💖👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[beeesworld]

Izzy: I think you're amazing... fascinating.

Stede: Go on.

Izzy: I've never met anyone with such a total lack of skills.

Stede: Oh.

Izzy: How you are still alive, I cannot say.

Stede: I do ask myself that question every day.

Izzy: No, I mean, I've met greater men than you. You know, better fighters, better shooters, better, uh-- Well, just better.

Stede: Alright.

Izzy: But they were all killed. And yet, here you stand.

[alasforher]

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it

[stedes-incredible-library]

hey there! thank you so much for this gem of a blog. I look forward to your posts. my fav type of fic is really tropey dubcon (think sex pollen / something made them do it / non con drug use, etc) where they both actually do want it so, even tho one always feel guilty, there’s a happy ending. do you have any recs along those lines? Thank you 💕

Hi Nonnie! You didn't specify a ship so we've included a variety. We're also not sure if you have read these before, because we started our hunt in some predictable tags (sex pollen, fuck or die, bad guys made them do it, etc). You didn't include omegaverse in your trope list, but some has been included here because heats provide a lot of fodder for this type of dubcon. The dubious-ness of the consent varies in the fics listed here so please read with care and attention to ships, summary, and tags for content. There is also our previous dub con rec list to review from back in August!

Pollen Season by Dracothelizard [E], 8k

An exploration mission Stede goes on with Roach and Lucius goes terrible wrong.

Or terribly right.

The Fucking Tea by Dracothelizard [E], 21k

Calico Jack gives Stede some aphrodisiac tea and leaves to shore with the rest of the Revenge crew, whoever can possibly help Stede with his unbridled horniness?

(It's Ed.)

Unnamed mutual noncon (Ed/Stede) by Dracothelizard [E], 686

This is a ficlet that ends before anything explicit occurs, and therefore before there's any chance to discuss and come to a true happy ending. There are a few other dubcon ficlets in this collection - sift through and proceed with attention to the chapter titles.

We Do Not Follow Maps to Buried Treasure by CartoonMayor (aka @zombee) [E], 5.6k

Stede is taking Ed on another treasure hunt to some supposed sea god's cave.

Things do not go as planned.

Let your yes be yes by emzash [E], 3.9k

Can’t we talk about this?” Stede asks, like there are any words that exist to solve this problem.

“What the fuck, no we can’t talk about it,” Ed says. “I need you. You’re here. Can we just get on with it?”

“You need me now,” Stede tells him. “But what about when your heat is over? What then?”

“You can leave me again straight after,” Ed says, refusing to let the hurt surface over the desperate need in his body. “Don’t worry Stede. I don’t expect anything else."

Do You Need Anybody by sinuous_curve [E], 4.6k

Heat catches Ed by surprise as a cramp that cuts him deep down in the pit of his belly.

Ed does not need a helping hand. Stede's offering anyway.

lord, my body has been a good friend by mtothedestiel [E], 4.6k

Stede is like a walking nest.

A Push, A Shove by LeatherCropTop [E], 25k

Stede was never particularly good at being an alpha. He thinks of himself as others always have, a worthless, incapable excuse for an alpha. After he meets Ed, that starts to change. The two of them fall in love, circling each other for days on end, but neither of them makes a move. Then Stede's behavior begins to change in a way like never before, unbeknownst to himself. The alpha instincts begin to trickle out until, like the flick of a switch, he suddenly goes feral.

Even for an alpha like Stede, turning feral is ravenous and being anywhere near them is dangerous, but the only way for a feral alpha to go back to normal is for them to mate and if the alpha doesn't mate in time, they will die. Ed isn't going to let Stede die.

who would trade that hum of night by CyborgShepard [E], 8.8k NOTE: not quite a fully happy ending, but not not

He’d thought the boy dead. Was glad for it, for a time, too. Murdering is one thing, but this — what’s happened to Spriggs now — it doesn’t sit right with Izzy.

He can imagine how he’d spluttered his thanks, wheezing up half the Atlantic like he was wringing a cloth, when Calabran’s lot fished him out of the water. He can imagine how Spriggs would’ve said it all, in that lilting, dour way. He might’ve demanded a blanket, or a berth, or water. Can imagine that he didn’t stay thankful for all too long after. 

It’s not sentiment, Izzy tells himself. 

release in sodomy (one sweet moment) by calicojackofficial [E], 3.3k NOTE: happy ending somewhat author's note reliant

The crew of the Revenge gets captured and during an interrogation attempt, Edward gets dosed with a sex pollen serum. That's not what they meant to do, so the guards lock Ed up with a bound and helpless Izzy. Izzy gets something he's always wanted but could never ask for. For as long as it lasts.

soft spot (for hard stuff) by bitethehands [E], 1.9k

“He’s much sweeter like this,” Stede is saying, even though Ed’s clearly not listening, “isn’t he?”

Ed has given him no indication of anything even marginally close to recognition in several minutes, now, because he’s been busy staring. Staring at Izzy, who so far doesn’t seem necessarily aware that Ed’s even here. It’d almost be normal, the strangeness of his being in Stede’s cabin aside. Except he’s naked and blushing from head to toe.

the promise of the joker and the fool by @thesoulundone [E], 7.1k

He's here, in a shitty little tavern, in a shitty little corner, drinking liquor that burns all the way down, stoking the fire he's already got burning in his belly. He's sitting on the other side of the table to Jack - Jack, who's got his arm slung casually around Izzy's shoulders. All Ed can think about, the persistent thudding pulse of his brain, is getting in between them.

Izzy. Izzy who's a fucking omega, revelation of the fucking year. Izzy, whose second heat aboard ship had been just as unpleasant as the first, who'd barely come out of it when they made port, whose dark-ringed eyes and stiff movement made Ed's fingers itch with the need to tear someone's throat out about it. Izzy, who's wearing a fucking collar now; shiny, good quality leather, wide and thick and cleverly made, though the craftsmanship doesn't do anything to disguise the fact that it's locked shut.

Let us know if you enjoyed this list! Did we skip your favorite tropey happily-ever-after dubcon? Chime in!

As always, please let the authors know that you enjoyed their fics with kudos and comments.

~Mod A

[meep-meep-richie]

´´ Besides a ship only has one captain. ´´