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#cant for the life of me figure out why im in hell
probablyreal · 4 months
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reminder to speak ur mind as soon as u want and can especially if its about smth u wanna change cuz its gonna come out eventually and sure sometimes its better later but sometimes its also better to do it as early as possible
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sick-as-a-dog · 1 year
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#just the thought of him not loving me the same way and amount i love him makes me want to slice myself up#ill only stop cutting when i cant feel anything anymore not pain not love just emptiness#just want to be with master but dont want to make him stressed out because im too dependent and reliant on him#why cant i just feel my emotions the right way or a normal amount or at least less strong? why am i like this?#why cant i love like a human and why must that shit be so complicated? why am i so feralminded?#and why cant i feel my loves separately? should i even? or am i not understanding it right? why do i feel everything wrong?#why must i love him like a wild animal loves its lifelong mate? but also like how that animal loves the taste of prey and hungers for it?#like a dog loves its master and feels the unending loyalty and unconditional love overtake remaining wolflike instinct#like a best friend i also wish to do stereotypical romantic and domestic things with and so much more#i want to be bound to him in any way possible marriage and collars and microchips and blood pacts and marking and such#but im so scared he wont want that anymore i want to stop feeling i need to completely stop feeling and worrying but i cant#even when im emotionally numb i still feel that canine love for him even if just a glimmer#i wish i knew what he thinks love is and what hes comfortable with and how he felt and experienced love and if he still loves me like#he did before he came out as aro....im scared to bring up how calling himself aro and me his exception actually hurts and idk if i should#tbh him saying hes aro yet says he loves me feels like when a close friend keeps saying they dont have any friends while youre right there#like my existence makes his identity a lie or a betrayal to him i cant shake the gross feeling that hes forcing himself to stay for my sake#....hell am i even his exception anymore? what did he mean by same amount but not the same? what changed? did anything actually change?#wish i could figure out what love is and how to feel it right..esp dont understand romantic or queerplatonic or anything its all confusing#i want to take on the world with him and stop being an emotional wreck so we can fuck anyone together like we swore to#i just want to live the rest of my life by his side and i want to experience all we can together#picnics and movies and living together and sharing a nest and....idk i just want to be with him forever and hope he still feels the same#it would literally kill me if he ever left or fell out of love i think i would lose whats left of my mind and end up bleeding myself dry#i want us to be together forever and never ever stop being mates but i cant help but be terrified and confused and hurt
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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On one hand my one sister is Big Stupid and pregnant again, which I wouldn't care as much about if this wasn't the fourth kid with the fourth shitty fucking father who will do nothing but cause even MORE pain and suffering to my sister's life, and on the other hand my other sister keeps sending me apartment ads which is very sweet because she ALSO just had a baby (in August and also her situation is stable, I'm very proud she managed to pull off what she did considering where she's come from. Her boys, especially Older Nephew were SO excited for the baby and I love listening to Older Nephew talk about his sister, it's so heartening to see him so happy and excited. Something tells me my other sisters 3 girls won't be nearly as impressed, especially not Oldest Niece and it's gotten to a point where I feel somewhat compelled to try and mentor this poor kid but I don't know SHIT about kids and don't want to let this poor kid down like everyone else has, she deserves better than that).
Granted my whole life I've preferred Apartment Sister to Making Poor Life Choices sister but also recently Making Dumb Choices has made some serious improvements to her life, very impressive ones too, so it's just disappointing to watch her backslide especially into the same bullshit she's been doing since she was 18 and is now 32. But at least I'm not the only one apartment hunting 😂😂 her efforts are super appreciated given that she just moved herself as well, plus having a fresh baby (very cute baby too). Now with any luck my OTHER sibling will get her shit together hopefully before we're on child number six with father number six with all the same fucking personality flaws and mental health problems not one of these men take even remotely seriously because that's exhausting to me let alone my damn sister.
#winters ramblings#its very sweet that my oldest sister keeps sending apartment ads sometimes im reminded that they care in strange ways#but i like to keep that in the noggin for bad mental health days so if i feel like everyone hates me i can remind myself thats not true#now if only my OTHER older sister would stop making the worlds SHITTIEST choices and grow up thatd be great#i cant imagine doing the same shit at 32 as i did at 18 and bringing a CHILD into my stuoid fantasy thats utterly detached#from ANY known reality. she wants what my oldest sister has i guarantee it but oldest sister GOT that way#because she did the WORK to get there. went to therapy figured out how to make better dating choices for her and her kids#and now shes engaged to an AMAZING dude who loves the hell out of her and her kids. my other sister isnt gunna find that#with her present situation and it pisses me the hell off that we need a FOURTH kid to suffer through her fucking bullshit#before she MIGHT learn getting pregnant with bullshit dudes kids isnt gunna turn them into prince charming#prince charming doesnt exist and CHILDREN won't make him appear either. hard work and looking for men that DONT SUCK#is the way to go. getting therapy is the way to go. or at least SOMETHING self improvement that isnt a self improvement cult#because at this point i would not out it past her to decide to improve her life but do so in the most toxic way possible because it seems#she does not have the emotional skills and tools to do better. which is EXHAUSTING to watch. i love her i do#but oh my GOD how MANY times do you have to make the SAME mistake over THIRTEEN YEARS before you learn?!?!!!?!#and to drag FOUR children into your nonsense fantasy where It Works Out This Time. it WON'T WORK OUT#this man shes back together with for four seconds is a fucking tool who cant even pay his rent and keeo the shit in the apartment#he list that MY SISTER HELPED HIM GET. this man isnt even willing to take care of HIMSELF because he 'doesnt care' W H Y have a kid#with shit like that. itll do nothing but cause that kid pain let alone the three existing kids and i don't know why i seemed to have put#more thought into hakf this shit than she has. im nit kidding when i say ive out INFINITELY more thought into getting a DOG#or another cat than she put into having ANY of her going to be four kids and im baffled that people do that#because CHILDREN arent a joke theyre WHOLE PEOPLE who deserve better than what shes going to give them#like my oldest niece got shipped to her grandparents for being too much to handke like 7 months ago and youre adding a FOURTH??#unbelievably irresponsible and also an amazing way to tell my niece shes replacable and when the going gets tough SHE gets going#no 13 year old should EVER have to deal with this shit. which is why i feel kinda compelled to step in#but i dont have OR want kids i just see this poor girl struggling and appayfeel for her more than anyone else does#like thats not 100% true i KNOW my sister loves her kids but on the flipside shes totally fine to fuck this kid up#in all KINDS of ways i know shes not intending to but fuck. YOU chose this kid how DARE you ship her out when she gets too much#AND THEN CHOOSE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE LIKE THAT WONT BE DETRIMENTAL TO LITERALLY EVERYONE
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heliophaestus · 1 year
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#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#sorry for like. personalposting on the personal post website i guess but i am going to snap#my laptop is broken. the play is in a week and i feel SO unprepared but even worse i feel like everyone else is too. only three broadcasts#left but i want to do more but that requires having enough time to write and film and edit all the segments i want to (some of which are#kind of not feasible). oh yeah and this one asshole quit the fucking play a day ago. shouldve seen that coming because she was shit talking#it the whole time and not showing up to any rehearsals at all. my bad on that one. calc quiz tomorrow i havent studied for in the least#and an english project which i would LIKE to do but so much other shit is happening it just feels like an extra burden#and lss still has not replied to me about my national lifeguard certification since telling me they hadnt received my sfa#which means i cant hand in the proper documentation for WORK. who has been emailing me nonstop to remind me to get it in#not to mention the general stress of managing a play that can feasibly spur hate crimes bc its about queerness#and i have musicfest on friday. FUCKK i forgot about that i guess im just going to niagara for a day to play songs i still havent fully lea#ned which is gonna be hell since i just got my braces tightened today. also why the fuck does the osap application just have. a full quiz#in the middle of it#ugh at least when the play is over ill have a bit less to worry about. i love it so much but it is taking years off my life#reading this back uhh. yeah hm. ignore most of this im just a bit overwhelmed and have to get it out !!#there is still more to worry about beyond this in terms of upcoming finances and feeling the need to work for money as much as i can since#my dad has been unemployed for half a year now. which means im giving up my summer for the sake of working subminimum wage#it sucks but at least once i figure out more of my payments stuff for next year i can stop tearing my nonexistent hair out over it#okk thats all for now i think. man im tired
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victorianbatman · 3 months
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More ATLA/LOK Incorrect quotes
GN reader, unless stated otherwise
Bolin, propping his feet on the table: So, I heard you like bad boys?
Y/n: What? No.
Bolin, taking his feet off the table: Oh thank God, that felt terrible.
-
Lin: Whats this?
Y/n, hugging her: Affection.
Lin: Disgusting.
Lin:…
Lin: Do it again.
-
Bolin: Wow, your legs look amazing in those pants!
Y/n: You should see me without them.
Bolin: Without.. legs?
-
Sokka: What did you make for Y/n?
Zuko, staring at the burnt food: Regret.
-
Korra, holding kettle: Coffee or tea?
Y/n: Tea.
Korra: Wrong! Its coffee.
-
Bolin, talking about y/n: My crush isn’t picking up on any of my hints.
Mako: What hints have you given them?
Bolin: I think about them.. a lot.
Bolin: And sometimes I think about talking to them.
-
Y/n: Mako?
Mako: What?
Y/n: Are you asleep?
Mako: Who the fuck did you think said ‘what’?
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Y/n, waking up: Am I dead?
[Sees Asami next to them]
Y/n: Is this heaven?
Korra, bangs on door: Open up, fuckers its me Korra
Y/n, tearing up: I always knew I’d end up in hell.
-
Lin: Having trouble figuring out who knows Korra the best?
Asami: Its me!
Bolin: Its me!
Mako: Its me!
Y/n:..
Y/n: It’s probably not me.
-
Y/n: Time for plan G.
Mako: Wait- don’t you mean plan B?
Y/n: No we did plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over C because of some technical difficulties.
Asami: What about plan D?
Y/n: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Bolin: And plan E?
Y/n: Im hoping not to use it, I die in plan E.
Korra: I like plan E.
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Y/n: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?
Mako: Well, what do you do?
Y/n: I die? Pfft- What kinda question..
-
Y/n: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and it died.
Y/n: Then I started thinking. It was just trying to get food.
Y/n: Like, what if I went to the fridge to get something to eat and it slammed the door on me and broke my neck?
Y/n: Howw would I feel?
Mako: Are you ok?
-
Bolin: What does ‘take out’ mean?
Mako: Food.
Asami: Dating.
Korra: Murder.
Y/n: IT COULD MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A FUCKING COWARD!
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Korra: You’re a little obsessed with yourself aren’t you?
Y/n: Well if im not who else is gonna be?
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[Y/n, throws bread at turtleducks]
Y/n: Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble, I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget.
-
Y/n: You’re the love of my life, I’d do anything for you.
Asami: I want you to take care of yourself and get enough sleep.
Y/n: Absolutely not.
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Asami: My boyfriend is too tall to kiss, what should I do?
Korra: Punch him in the gut, then when he leans down kiss him.
Bolin: Tackle him
Y/n: Dump him, be with me.
Lin, passing by: Kick him in the shin.
Mako: Please don’t do any of those.
-
[Korra, sneaks into house at 2 am]
Mako, turns in swivel chair: Care to explain where you were?
Korra: Uhh.. I was out with Y/n.
Y/n, also turns around in another swivel chair: Care to- [chair wont stop turning] Mako- I cant stop the chair-
-
Bolin, after making Y/n mad: You wont hit me, I have witnesses.
Y/n: Mako. Asami. Turn around.
[Both Mako and Asmai turn around]
Bolin, scared: M-Mako? Asami?
-
Y/n: So whats Zukos type?
Sokka: Y/c eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humour, turtleduck lover.
Y/n: Damn, sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends though.
Sokka: Did I mention oblivious?
Y/n: Yeah why?
Sokka: Just making sure.
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sohnric · 9 months
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sweet like candy – e. sohn
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pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader
genre: summer au, strangers to something more ?? fluff, suggestive. very much stargazing by the neighbourgood and fantasize by the boyz capsuled into a fic. eric is a simp and a hopeless romantic because i said so. a girl romanticizes sharing a lollipop (its me im girl)
warnings: alcohol, maybe some minimal swearing, a heated make out session that hints onto a hookup (no smut mentioned!). the use of a cheesy nickname babydoll (dont @ me or i will deactivate), reader has hair long enough for a claw clip
word count: 6.9k
a/n: almost cried while trying to name this fic somebody send help. Also this doesn't feel like my best work its kinda rushed imo but 🤠 yolo
part of the @deoboyznet summer on you event! cant believe i made it on time
a summer tradition of renting out a cabin every year invented by a couple of friends takes a turn for eric when a new addition to the circle brings him to his knees - in other words, he never knew tequila could taste so sweet.
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If anyone ever asked Eric Sohn if he believed in love at first sight, he would, without a doubt, say yes. 
What was the proof he had? Well, absolutely nothing. All he ever knew about love at first sight was from romance movies he watched during lonely nights with his roommate Juyeon, never having the experience of the whole world stopping and zooming in on one particular person, taking his breath away– but to put it simply, Eric Sohn is a true romantic. Call him cheesy if you want– he wouldn’t like it, but he also wouldn’t disagree. 
On one summer afternoon, though, his world tilts in its axis– the moment comes, and he is finally able to test out his theory.
You walk out of the passenger’s side of a red 2008 Toyota Auris, hair put up into a claw clip, jean shorts showing off your long legs and a pearl white button-up opened and lazily thrown over your outfit, and suddenly, Eric Sohn finds his knees buckling and his palms sweating with affection. He was aware that Juyeon’s girlfriend was bringing her best friend to tag along to their little summer retreat (more like a trip to a cabin in the middle of the woods), but he sure as hell didn’t expect the stranger to make him feel this type of way. 
Sure, it might just be him being incredibly attracted to you. But with how fast his heart was beating when you smiled at everyone after introducing yourself to the group, he was sure he was slowly, but surely falling for you. And he was falling hard.
He feels like the world is moving in slow motion as he watches the group go and unload the car– you and your best friend Yeri were the last ones to arrive– and what wakes him up from the haze is when he watches you struggle to carry a cooler out of the trunk into the cabin, his legs dragging him closer to the vehicle and near to your body.
Now is his time to shine. “Let me help!” he hurries out, sneakers crunching on the gravel. His hands firmly grab onto the handle of the blue cooler, muscles flexing under the weight (making him wonder why you would willingly want to carry the thing and not ask him or any of the guys for help in the first place), and when your eyes look up at come in contact with his, he presses a smile to his lips. “I’m Eric, by the way.”
“Ah,” you gasp, a grateful expression breezing over your features, “thanks. I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Eric hums, watching your every move. Your figure walks over to the front of the car, your head popping in close to the window to look inside, and when a satisfied look overtakes your features, Eric finds himself asking. “Is that everything?”
“Yeah,” you nod, “we can head inside, I think.”
The boy tries hard to keep his cool, he really does. But with how he’s trailing behind you like a lost puppy, attempting to find a topic that would engage him in a conversation with you, he feels like a boy that is just experiencing a crush for the first time in his life. Everything about you is enchanting– and sure, you could say he was just painfully attracted to you and this had nothing to do with love– but he was also convinced that if you asked him to jump off the Empire State Building, he would do it without giving it a second thought (which is kind of worrying, but again– it says a lot). 
You open the door to the cabin for him, and he finds himself speechless at the action. Once your eyes meet again and you offer him another subtle smile, he finds himself gasping at the sentence that comes out of your mouth.
“Hey! We’re matching, kinda,” you note, pointing towards his outfit.
And you’re right– Eric didn’t even notice at first, too enchanted with your sheer existence– but you two were indeed wearing the same thing. Jean shorts, and a white button-up– in your case, thrown over a white tank top, in Eric’s, closed (although he did leave it a bit open at the top, revealing his tanned skin). Suddenly, the boy is glad he’s wearing a red cap to cover up his hair, since he foolishly thinks the hat provides him enough shade in the face to not reveal his burning cheeks as he utters out a weak response.
“It looks so much better on you, though.”
With that, he walks into the cabin– escaping the situation, not really paying a single thought to chivalry and letting you go through the door first– and as he reaches the crowd of people in the kitchen, he prays for all high sources to find him, get to him and wipe his brain clean of all thoughts, because
even though you are basically matching (and he does think you look so much better in the outfit than he does), all he can think about is just how much more he’d like your outfit if the white button-up enveloping your body was the one he’s wearing right now instead.
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The next time Eric finds courage to talk to you is when it seems like you’re not finding it to talk to anyone else yourself– the big group is currently sitting around a fire, marshmallows and sausages slowly burning in the blazing flames– and while everyone around was either talking to each other or singing along to the songs Jacob was playing on the guitar, you were sitting alone in the middle of two commotions: Chanhee and Changmin arguing about something seemingly important, and Yeri and Juyeon making out right in front of everyone’s eyes. 
And Eric was supposed to listen to Sunwoo talk about his latest heartbreak– how the man still gets no girls despite having such an objectively handsome face, Eric truly doesn’t know– but the topic of the conversation was too boring for him to engage with it. That, and he was also painfully aware of your every move– you didn’t even move much– and word– you weren’t talking to anybody– and that was slowly driving him insane.
You looked a little out of place. Eric supposes it was because you didn’t really know anyone here– except from your best friend and her awfully sappy boyfriend– but even though it was logical and a little expected for you to be a bit excluded in such a foreign circle, the man took it as his mission to make you feel as welcome and as included as he physically could.
Completely ignoring Sunwoo’s blabbering (like he was doing for the last few minutes anyway), Eric confidently (and a bit shakily– hands sweating and breath hitching in his throat) walks to the other side of the bonfire, from where he’s been watching your stone expression through the flames, and sits down in the small place between you and Changmin. Changmin wasn’t even facing you, too engrossed in the debate he was having with Chanhee, and so it was Eric’s job to wobble his bottom into the place, efficiently making the older boy move away with a light elbow jab sent into his lower back.
“Hi,” he clears his throat, “are you having fun?” he asks, but mentally curses at himself right as the question escapes his mouth– does she look like she's having fun? Of course she doesn't, you stupid idiot.
You smile at the question, though, nodding. “Yeah,” you hum, “having lots of fun listening to your friends argue and my friends making out next to my ear.”
“You seemed like it too, y’know,” Eric laughs, “they’re always like this, by the way. They’ll forget about the fight in the morning.”
“Oh, that could never be me,” you sigh, shaking your head at the sentiment.
“No?”
“No,” you shrug, “I get too petty. If we have a fight, I’m not speaking to you for at least two weeks.”
Eric finds himself laughing at your comment. “I’ll remember that for future reference.”
Straightening your back and looking at your companion– as if you were going to call him out on his subtle hint of there being any future meeting between the two of you– you suddenly gasp and swiftly turn towards the bonfire, an honest mourn escaping your lips.
“Oh fuck!” you curse under your breath as your hand reaches towards a stick that’s had its end in the flame, the device efficiently resting against a rock in a position where you didn’t have to pay any attention to the snack you were cooking– more like burning– for yourself. With a quick move for the stick, you pull the tip of it out of the scorching red of the bonfire and look at it in an examining way, as if the result would be different and the marshmallow would unburn itself if you stared at it long enough. “I completely forgot about this!”
Eric takes a glance at the burnt piece of fluff, letting out a laugh at the black marshmallow in front of your face. “That’s not how you make a good s’more,” he notes, poking fun at your annoyed face.
“Oh, no shit, Sherlock…” you mutter under your breath, but your face looks a bit sad to see the piece go to waste. “I don’t know why I even tried, I’m bad at this stuff.”
There comes his moment, Eric thinks. “Well, you’re lucky, ‘cause you just met an expert at making s’mores.”
“Does a thing like that even exist?” you chuckle, rolling your eyes at the male in disbelief. 
“Of course it does! You’re looking at one now,” he grins, leaning over you to take a brand new marshmallow out of the bag to your right– sandwiched between your thigh and the couple in love– before he reaches over to your hand and takes the roasting stick out of your hand, slides the white fluffy cloud through the sharp tip and hovers it above the flame.
“The key is to hold it above the flame, and not in the flame,” Eric chuckles as he looks at you from the corner of his eye, watching your expression change.
“Oh, but I thought the key is to burn the thing,” you ironically gasp, shaking your head at his teasing. “Where did you even learn all of this?”
“I grew up in the States,” Eric hums, “they would deport me if I didn’t know how to make s’mores.”
The comment gets a giggle out of you– a sound Eric almost folds at and falls into the open fire (thankfully, he held his composure– he doesn’t think 3rd degree burns would suit his look) – and it takes everything in him to not scream like a teenage girl at the thought of making you laugh. Yes, that’s how down bad you managed to get the male.
“Do you have a special recipe?”
“Just the basic one,” he shrugs, turning the skewer in his hand to make the marshmallow equally glazed on each side, “I will make it extra good for you, though.”
“I thought a master always does their best?” you tease, watching as the boy crumbles under your gaze.
“Not always. I don’t like to put effort into things that aren’t worth it,” Eric hums as he takes the marshmallow out of the burning fire, examining it, and after deeming it worthy, taking the skewer and holding it up in between his knees. The male takes a graham cracker and tears it in half, before adding chocolate to one of the sides. After he’s done, he carefully places the golden fluff ball onto the cracker and closes it, offering the sweet sandwich to you with a subtle smile.
“For you,” he winks as he turns back towards the fire, putting another marshmallow onto the stick to make himself a s’more as well (and also mentally kicking himself at the sudden burst of courage). He hears you take a bite out of the snack, his knee bouncing up and down nervously as he awaits the verdict.
“Man,” you hum, “this is so good.”
“Told you,” he says, “if there’s something I’m confident in, it’s making s’mores.”
“That’s a very unuseful skill to have,” you note, but continue to eat. The comment has him chuckle and shrug.
“Well, I used it now, so I’d argue it’s actually very useful.”
A hum cuts out of your throat at this, finishing the s’more he made for you with a satisfied sigh. “Is this how you got girls back in the States?” you ask, making the male choke on his spit.
Eric was too young to get girls when he learned how to make the greatest s’mores. He went camping with his dad and his older sister and he burned a couple before he got it right. He was in middle school and before what the kids call a glow-up these days (back in the days, you just called it overcoming puberty), but still– he decides to test the waters with another lazy, half-assed flirty comment. “Only the pretty ones.”
He hears a chuckle out of you– a reaction he decides to not pay much attention to or overthink, for he doesn’t really remember what a good reaction to flirting is anymore– but then, you sigh and nod. “Well, I give your s’more a 5 star review, so I’d find that believable.”
The comment has Eric press his tongue into the inside of his cheek, battling a victorious smile that wants to oh so desperately appear on his lips. Turning his attention fully to you, he looks at you with confidence coating his insides– it only grows when he notices you staring at the side of his face, the flame of the fire twinkling in your eye and making your features sharper and twice as attractive to the poor boy. 
His eyes scan you over for a few seconds before he notices a glimmer of something on the side of your lip– a chocolate stain that has him cautiously lean in and swipe a thumb over the sweetness, not even thinking twice before smoothing his finger over your skin. 
“You had a little… something there,” he hums as he licks the chocolate off his thumb. Your eyes still trained on him force him to avert his gaze back to the fire– for it was unbearable, as if sparks were flying and burning his skin, everything about the interaction making goosebumps appear over his body; even though he felt hot in his cheeks and not at all cold– when the sight of his marshmallow in flames suddenly comes to him, startling him awake.
Hurriedly dragging out the burnt snack out of the fire, he hears you chuckle at him from the side– so much for not ruining the moment. (It’s okay, though. As long as you’re entertained.)
“I thought you were a master at s’mores,” you poke fun at him, “got distracted?”
Meeting eyes with you, Eric shrugs, a lazy grin settling to his lips. “I guess you could say that.”
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The night progresses quickly– with Sunwoo getting so drunk he borrows Jacob’s guitar and clumsily strums the strings, freestyle rapping about the most random topics with flushed cheeks and eyes dramatically glued to the fire; Hyunjae wanting to have a competition of who can jump over the flames and Sangyeon having to stop his drunk friend with the force of his own body– and Eric finds his eyes lacking the candy he’s been occupying himself with the whole evening. You disappeared somewhere into the house a few minutes ago, and although he didn’t want to be clingy, he walked up to the cabin with a nervous pep in his step– that’s it, he just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Eric walks through the doorway, having his body immediately be met with the joined common room slash kitchen area. The cabin is kind of small (too small for the amount of people currently occupying it) and kind of old, but it’s a tradition to rent it every year during the summer, so no one ever questioned the decision or made the move to rent out a bigger one, no matter the growing friend group.
Your figure finally appears in the dimly lit kitchen area, your back turned to the doorway. Standing at the kitchen sink, it seems like you were doing the dishes– tons of plates used to carry grilled meat and sausages dumped carelessly into the sink, forgotten in a minute and leaving the last remains of food dry up on them and get hard to scrape off, a couple of glasses and mugs with their ears broken off from their age waiting with coffee stains at the bottom– and Eric immediately feels his heart fall down to his stomach, because why would one do the dishes in the middle of the night? Those usually get left there until the morning, when the least hungover person will take mercy on the rest and take care of them. Were you feeling excluded from the conversation? Did you feel bored? 
“What are you doing here so alone?” he asks, making you turn your head over your shoulder and smile at him– a stone falling off his heart at the action– before you shrug at him.
“Washing the dishes,” you say, as if it wasn’t clear already.
“I see that,” Eric chuckles, “what I meant to say was, why are you washing the dishes in the first place?”
“Well, somebody’s gotta do it.” 
Eric huffs– and he doesn’t even know why he’s so defensive about it. “That someone didn’t have to be you, y’know.”
He’s standing next to you now– your eyes meeting as you stare at the boy for a heartbeat– a smile spreading on your face at his furrowed brows. The action has him visibly relax, watching as you shrug and get back to the dish washing. “I just wanted some alone time for a bit,” you muse, “outside was getting too loud for a second, I’m not used to crowds.”
“Ah… once Sunwoo drinks, he can’t shut up, so I kinda get that it was starting to feel insufferable,” Eric notes, nodding at you in acknowledgement before the realization hits him. “Wait– you said you wanted to be alone, so I should probably-”
You halt him with a soft laugh– the one Eric finds his heart liking a little too much, with how it jumps up and down and makes all of him feel warm inside– a soapy hand reaching out in his direction. “It’s okay, you can stay,” you muse, “I enjoy your company.”
“O-okay,” Eric stutters– so much for the smooth lines he had prepared in his head before coming in here, all of them flying out of his head straight out of the window– and to not seem so silly, he gets his hands occupied and reaches for the clean dishes you started stacking on the counter next to the sink, deciding to dry them and put them away. The kitchen falls into a comfortable silence that only gets broken by an occasional scream landing through the walls from outside, and Eric can’t help but indulge himself in the domesticity of the act.
He can almost imagine you two washing the dishes like this in your shared apartment after you two cook dinner together and eat it in your cozy living room. That scenario sounds almost too good for the boy, having warmth slowly ooze into his cheeks, and that, he finds to be the hint that he should probably stop thinking about you in that way now or else he’ll get too distracted and break the glasses he is currently putting away. (God forbid– there were not enough of them for the entire friend group in the first place.)
“Are you having a good time, though?” Eric finds himself asking through his weird delirium.
You smile– oh god you smile, you should stop doing that if you want him to survive the night– and nod at the boy, calmness overtaking your aura and slipping into his cracks as well. “I am. It’s nice meeting new people and everyone’s very nice,” you say.
“That’s good to hear. How long have you and Yeri been friends?”
“A couple of years,” you note, “we met during high school. We always dreamt of moving away to college and living together at dorms or something, so it’s… it’s nice that it worked out for us,” you say, having Eric nod at your words with a sweet smile.
“That’s great to hear,” he muses, “I met Juyeon and Sunwoo in my freshman year of college, and the rest just… came along after a while.”
“Your friend group is pretty big,” you point out, having the boy shrug.
“I guess so,” Eric mumbles, never really thinking of it this way– in his eyes, this was normal. This was how he operated, how he lived. A lot of people around him, always close– one would think such a large friend group wouldn’t be as close with each other, but it’s quite the opposite in his case, he thinks. Maybe he was just blessed.
“How do you do that?” you sigh, shaking your head in disbelief.
“I dunno,” he snickers, “guess you could say I’m quite the social butterfly.”
“I can see that,” you laugh. Eric watches you, his hands now empty of any dish– he’s been drying them quicker than you manage to clean (and rightfully so, the food is stuck on there) – he starts noticing the details of your sheer presence. How you have a slight smile playing with your lips even when your eyes are glued to the sink, how your hair slightly slips out of the claw clip and frames your face, how close you’re standing– his eyes slip towards your hands, noticing the water running down your forearms and dangerously close to the sleeves of your shirt.
Acting on reflex, mostly, the boy reaches towards your sleeves and gently tugs them up, the contact of your skin that he initiates and should realistically be prepared for making the tips of his fingers tingle, the action having you stop in your movements and glance up at him through your eyelashes– a sight he wishes he could engrave into the back of his eyelids so he could stare at it forever and always.
“Thank you,” you hum, voice barely louder than a whisper when he retracts away from you, taking his previous stance against the kitchen counter.
Eric hangs his head low for a second, clearing his throat to ease his own tension. Now is your turn to start up the conversation, a casual question falling off your lips as you get back to washing the last remains of dishes. “Yeri said you come here often?” 
The boy nods enthusiastically to your sentence. “We do. We started in freshman year, because Juyeon was going to this exchange program to Paris for a couple of months, so we threw him a goodbye party. Then he came back, so we threw a welcome back party here. And then we celebrated Younghoon hyung’s birthday here, and it kind of stuck, I guess? We go here at least once a year during summer.”
“That’s a nice tradition to have,” you sigh, turning the faucet off as you finish rinsing off the last dish– a big bowl that Sangyeon used to marinate the meat a few hours ago.
“It is,” Eric nods, smiling fondly at the sentiment. He reaches for the bowl and dries it with the now damp rag (there were a lot of dishes to dry, after all), and moves to put it back to its place under the sink. With your figure still in its previous spot, the boy puts away the towel onto the kitchen counter and gently grabs your waist with his free hand, moving you away a few inches to the left. He crouches and opens the cabinet under the sink and puts the bowl into the pyramid of other ones, straightening his back when he goes back into a standing position, catching you staring at him from above, watching his every move. Your body is leaning against the counter, having Eric mirror your stance only a few inches away from you before speaking up again. 
“You’re welcome to join us when we come back next time.”
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The time reads 3AM– or at least that’s what his circadian rhythm tells him, because he doesn't bother to check as he twists and turns in the bed, too hot and too alert to fall asleep– when Eric decides to walk down the steep stairs and try to get some fresh air. The cabin is hot inside, but he still takes his lost button-up that he had thrown over one of the kitchen chairs and puts it on before he makes his way outside, knowing that the forest will make his bones get cold with the crisp breeze. 
He opens the door and moves to sit on the little patio– the silence of outside is overwhelming even after the cabin has quieted down and everyone has gone to sleep (each one on a different level of tipsy ranging from completely chill Sangyeon to doesn’t know where he is Sunwoo– with Eric somewhere in the middle of the spectrum). His legs drag a little tiredly as he scans his surroundings– god forbid there’s a bear out waiting for him– when the sight of a figure sitting on the floor takes him by surprise, their head already turned to him after hearing the sound of the door opening. 
“What are you doing here?” he asks as he walks over to you, noticing your frame dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, hinting that you at least tried to get some sleep before coming out here, just like he has.
“Couldn’t sleep,” you shrug, confirming his suspicions.
“Same here,” the man sighs, “mind if I sit with you?”
“You’re welcome to join me,” you smile at him, patting the floor next to you and watching as Eric crouches down before taking a seat on the wood, ignoring the sunbeds and old rattan chairs situated all over the patio. (If you’re on the floor, he’s on the floor– it’s as simple as that.)
You’re holding a lollipop in between your fingers, your other hand occupied with a half-empty bottle of tequila that was previously passed around the circle at the bonfire. Eric raises his brows at the sight, having you shamefully avert your gaze from him.
“I thought it would be a waste to not finish this,” you say, snickering, “and I also… kind of hoped that it would put me to sleep…”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures?” 
“I guess you could say that,” you laugh. Taking a sip from the bottle, you gulp the alcohol down before putting the lollipop inside of your mouth, sucking on it and licking your lips after. This is not the way you’re supposed to drink tequila, but Eric figures that gathering salt and a lime would be too much work anyways.
“Are you really using that lollipop as a chaser?” he giggles, making you hum.
“Yeah,” you stare at him, a grin overtaking your features, “this girl taught me to do that at a party last year. It’s not as good as literally anything else, but it gets the job done. Wanna try?” you ask, offering him the sweetness on the stick and the bottle.
The truth is, you were only a bit tipsy when the group slowly started to scatter into their beds. Eric didn’t drink as much either– only enough to make him laugh at everything that was said and make his staring at you twice as obvious as it was before– so he thinks he can take some more. As you said, it would be a shame if the bottle went to waste– and also, something about the idea of drinking with you alone on the patio was making his hopeless heart hammer against his chest in dangerous measures.
“Sure,” he agrees, taking the bottle first. The boy takes a sip, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat, and when he moves the dark brown glass away from his lips, he is met with the image of you leaning closer to him, offering him the lollipop. His hand instinctively grabs the plastic stick, thinking you’re letting go of it, when he’s met with the feeling of your flesh under his fingertips. You put the lollipop against his lips, making him open up on instinct and suck on the strawberry flavored candy, a million different sensations (all unrelated to the alcohol) swimming through his brain– you’re so close, you smell so good, he’s holding your hand, he’s sucking on the lollipop you previously had in between your lips and it’s driving him crazy– before you take the candy out from between his lips and put it back into your mouth, tongue swirling around the sweet ball. 
The lollipop had an aftertaste of tequila on it, but it was enough to chase down the faint bitterness– Eric finds himself wanting to taste more of the sweet strawberry, but foolishly desiring to get the sensation off your lips instead. His eyes stay locked with yours throughout the whole exchange, sparks flying in between the two of you even though the bonfire has long gone out, his fingers lazily dropping from the candy.
“How was it?” you ask, voice barely louder than a whisper– goosebumps appearing all over Eric’s skin when he swears your eyes flicker to his lips for a split second. 
“Good,” he admits. It’s silly how he feels so breathless at the action.
The sound of the wind playing with the leaves of the forest is the only thing accompanying you two. It’s as if you two were thinking of the same thing when you pull out the lollipop out of your mouth and offer it back to Eric, watching with utmost interest as the boy leans closer to capture it in between his lips, never breaking eye contact. The action feels a little too electrifying to him, a little too intimate, but he can't stop– can't even imagine wanting to.
Taking a sip of the tequila, but not chasing it down with the candy, you speak up again, lazy eyes practically glued to him. “This would be a perfect moment for a kiss…” you mumble, licking your bottom lip for a split second before biting down on it.
“Are you flirting with me?” Eric foolishly asks, tone of voice a bit weak, a little unsure, the candy still in his mouth, making his words come out a little jambled.
“Mhm,” you nod, grinning to yourself– Eric wonders how much of your behavior and how much of his raging heartbeat is due to the effect of alcohol in both of your veins.
His fingers pull at yours as he takes the candy out of his mouth, voice dropping as he answers you. “Then we probably shouldn’t waste the moment.”
Even though the intentions are clear, the boy can’t bring himself to make the first move– he’s completely enchanted with your presence, staring at you with tension in his shoulders and eyes trained onto your face, watching and examining it for any shift or change. Focused on the way you move, he thinks you must have realized you were going to have to be the one to take the first step– your lazily smile before you lean closer, impossibly close– making Eric’s eyes flutter shut with anticipation, your breath fanning his face making goosebumps appear all over his body.
When your lips finally touch his, he feels like he’s being kissed for the first time again, with the amount of fuzziness in his stomach and buzzing in his ears. He regains his composure quite quickly, though, as he positions his head in a way that makes you two even closer to each other, lips pressing firmer against yours now. His hand instinctively reaches out to hold your jaw, fingertips glazing the soft skin under them, your lips retracting only to go in for more. 
Blindly placing the bottle onto the floor next to your bodies, you peck his lips and sigh into the kiss. “Damn, you’re good at this…”
“We’re only getting started,” he muses, making you chuckle. 
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhm,” he nods, watching as you once again lean in and suck on his upper lip, making his eyes flutter close again. A weight appears over him as you shift in your place and move to straddle his lap, your hand moving to cup his cheek and tilt him upwards, everything about the kisses getting more hurried– less gentle, less hesitant– when you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth and grant your tongue entry into his mouth.
Sweetness mixes in between you, your hands moving around his neck, heavy breaths shared across the patio. Eric feels like he’s levitating, his body having an out of body experience, yet being awfully present– every little shift pushing him to overdrive, the slightest touch making his skin burn and heart drum against his ribcage.
You shift in his lap, making him huff under the pressure, his lips trailing wet kisses down the side of your neck. Teeth glazing the jointure of your shoulder, kitten licking the place and sucking in a bruise that will eventually be visible to everyone when you two wake up in the morning, Eric feels your hands tugging down the sleeves of his shirt, fingers feeling up his biceps. The action makes him chuckle into your neck, but the smile fades quickly as he feels your nails scratching gently at his flaming skin.
“Take this off,” you mutter, and Eric finds it endearing– helping you take him out of the button-up, sitting under you in just a white tank top and black basketball shorts. 
“Why?” 
“Your arms looked good in this,” you hiss before you hide your face into his neck, leaning down to give him your fair share of kisses and love bites, having the male teasingly joke as his hands run up under your tank top, painfully aware of the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra anymore.
He moves his head to the side to give you more access before speaking out, tone of voice husky and coated in lust. “What if I get cold now?” 
“Then I’m more than happy to move this to your room,” you purr into his ear.
Eric sighs, fingers playing with the hem of your top before he lets his palms drift towards your exposed stomach, roaming across naked skin. Goosebumps appear all over your body at the action, making the boy victoriously grin. “It looks like you’re the one that's cold, though, babydoll.”
Rolling your eyes at the male, you shut him up by latching yourself onto his lips before you speak against his mouth. “I’ll take that as an invitation, then?”
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“Wake up Eric! The girls are leaving, you should at least go say goodbye!” Sangyeon roars into the boy's room, making the male turn over in the bed and huff out in frustration. He drags his arm up to shield his eyes from the sunlight hitting his face, the intention of just rolling over and sleeping more written very clearly in his face.
“Come on man, we’re leaving in an hour too, so you should go send them off and then pack your shit so we can load the cars,” Sangyeon says when he gets no reaction from the youngest. It’s to no use, apparently, and so as the oldest and most observant out of the group, Sangyeon decides to use physical force– he knows Eric would hate to have you go without saying goodbye. He’s not stupid. Or blind. 
A strong hold on his calves drags Eric out of the bed and makes his half-naked body fall to the floor, a yelp coming out of his throat finally making Eric’s body fully alert and awake. 
“Yo! What the fuck–”
“Put a shirt on and go say goodbye to Y/N before she goes, would you, sleeping beauty?” Sangyeon huffs before rolling his eyes at his younger friend, escaping the room and shutting the door close after himself with a loud thud (to add more effect to the scolding, Eric thinks).
The mention of your name has Eric quickly scrambling out of the bed. His heart hammers at the adrenaline rush, pulling a clean shirt out of his bag and dragging it over his head, the basketball shorts from yesterday’s night found on the floor being pulled over his lower frame in approximately 0.5 seconds. Eric takes the stairs 3 at a time– with how steep they are, he questions how exactly does he not trip and break his spine on his way down– and puts on a pair of slippers he finds at the door (that are not his, or his size, for the matter, making his heels comically stick out from the back). 
Without checking his appearance in the mirror anywhere, he swings the door open and walks out of the cabin, watching as the group settles in a half-circle around your car, Yeri loading the trunk with her duffle bag before she closes it shut and smiles at her boyfriend Juyeon on the side. Eric joins the crowd, clearing his throat when his eyes fall onto your figure, the sight in front of him freezing him in his spot.
You’re standing there, in your jean shorts from the day before, an oversized white button-up enveloping your frame. A clueless stranger might not tell the difference, but he does– you put the shirt onto your bare skin and buttoned it just enough to reveal a bit of your cleavage– and it’s so similar to the outfit you had on yesterday, just with one difference. 
You’re wearing Eric’s shirt. You’re wearing his shirt and your neck is scattered with red and purple-ish bruises, and no, Eric wasn’t that drunk and he remembers everything, but the events of last night suddenly play out right in front of his eyes like a movie, still nailing him to his spot and wiping out all of his vocabulary.
The boy feels hot in his cheeks as he watches you and your best friend pay your goodbyes to the rest of the boys, the men pulling you into side-hugs and fist bumps, shared ‘It was nice meeting you’s and ‘You should come by next time too’s resonating through the place. Soon enough, you reach the end of the make-shift half circle and lock your eyes with Eric, a playful smile softly appearing on your face.
“It was nice meeting you, Eric,” you hum, “I had fun,” you note, shooting him a knowing look.
“Me too,” he nods, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. He doesn’t know where the confidence of last night went, but he suddenly feels unarmed and lost. What does one do now?
The sight of you in his shirt makes him feel like his biggest (wet) dream has come true– call him cheesy, but it also wakes up a sense of déja vu in him from the day before– you with sunlight in your eyes, hair messed up in a claw clip. He feels like he just fell in love at first sight again. Is that even possible?
It’s good you have a sense in you that makes you take the initiative and be in charge when you see him faltering. A giggle cuts out of your throat as you lean in and hug the boy around his neck, your lips dangerously close to his ear as you speak in a hushed whisper, not wanting to be heard by the men around you.
“I stole your shirt from you, by the way. You should text me if you want it back, so we can meet up, or something,” you mouth, lips gently glazing the sensitive skin of Eric’s ear, and god does he feel like he's going to suffocate from the lack of oxygen this causes in his lungs.
“You look amazing in my clothes, so I won’t ask for it back,” Eric hums, “but I’ll text you just in case you ever wanna bless my eyes with the sight again.”
“Deal. I’ll make Juyeon text me your number,” you say before you pull away from him, shooting him a wink that almost has his knees buckling like a school boy in love for the first time.
You walk backwards and wave at the group, sending Eric one last look before you join the passenger’s side and close the car door behind you, the sound of Yeri starting the engine resonating through the quiet forest. The men wave at you until the Toyota disappears out of sight, only scattering inside when it does to gather their things and load up their cars as well.
Eric is woken up from his trance by a teasing whistle coming out of Sunwoo’s mouth and a father-like slap to his back from Sangyeon.
He wonders if he’s truly being so obvious. (He's unaware of the fact that you two had very visible matching love bites on your necks. It doesn’t take much effort to put two and two together– don't tell him that, though.)
Still, Eric shrugs and goes inside with a different kind of pep to his step. 
When he licks his lips, he swears he can still taste the strawberries.
352 notes · View notes
soullumii · 11 months
Text
if my heart’s gonna break | joel miller x f!reader
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part 1 (read part 1 before reading this!)
summary: a couple nights later, you head back to joel’s
warnings: 18+!!!! smut again. unprotected piv. fem!afab!reader. angst again don’t worry i’ll make a happy ending okay
word count: 4k
joel mod in gif is by speclizer (so fucking hot oh my GODDDD)
a/n: finally finished part 2 omg i’m sorry for the wait yall… i’m a perfectionist it’s lowkey debilitating. anyways… i hope u guys enjoy <3 tysm for the support on part 1 and tbh on all my other fics too… i can’t believe ppl like my writing that much. i am very grateful! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
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im scared but if my heart's gonna break before the night will end
i said we're in danger
sleeping with a friend
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You cant stop thinking about the kiss. 
The kiss that honestly shouldn’t mean so much to you. You’ve kissed him, like, so many times. So many times his tongue has been in your mouth, been in your damn vagina. So why the fuck… why the fuck are you so worked up over this right now?
It’s just…it was so heavy. It felt like…like more than just a kiss. Like he was laying his life down for you, much like he does in patrols. 
He… Joel… he usually never kisses right after sex. He recognizes in the post-coitus energy that things are different. They mean more. He has to know that. So… why now? Does he…?
No. You’re just in your head again. Maybe you’re thinking about it too hard. You’ve never had a friends with benefits situation before now. Maybe this… maybe this is regular.
But for your own psyche, you think you might have to set some ground rules. 
There was always that main rule, that wretched, critical rule. The one you said to him on the first day of your strange exchange.
“Don’t go falling in love with me, cowboy.”
Well, to hell with that one, right? Pretty sure you’ve beaten that shit to death. Shattered all possible remains of it.
So more rules. More rules will have to do. Starting with:
No kissing.
Should be easy enough. 
You’ll figure out the rest later. You have got to stop thinking about it, though, because you’re on the way to his house right now. 
You knock swiftly on the door, and you swear you feel your heart drop into your pussy the moment he opens the door to reveal himself. A plain, black t-shirt is stretched across his broad chest, haphazardly tucked into a pair of plaid pajama pants that hang loosely around his hips. His graying hair is ruffled beyond belief, curling around his ears and falling over his forehead. In your fits of passion and desire a couple nights ago, you hardly realized it had grown longer. It looks nice.
This sleepy and soft Joel is not one you’ve seen in a while. Well, it’s not like you’ve seen him much lately anyway, with him having been gone and all. Still, it’s disorienting. 
“Howdy,” he says.
“Um. Hi.” You try not to gawk. “Did…did I come at a bad time, or something?”
“No, not at all. I just got back from patrols… took a shower,” he says, leaning a shoulder against the door jamb, strong arms crossing over his chest. There’s a tiny, barely perceptible smirk on his lips. “Need somethin’?”
You see it now, the water clinging to his hair, darkening it, beading at his temples like sweat. You follow a line of water trickling down his throat until it disappears behind his collar.
Rule 2: Don’t come over after he’s showered.
“I…uh, I can come back later if you want—“
You’re nervous to ask him what you want to ask him, which is honestly ridiculous considering you guys have been doing this for months now. You used to be able to just knock on his door and he’d pull you in, and it was that easy. Or you’d give him a look when in public, and he knew exactly what you needed.
Now, you’re painfully awkward. Curse him and curse your feelings.
He straightens a bit, his brows furrowing in slight concern. “What’s goin’ on?”
Heat spreads down your neck, embarrassment. Shame. It’s strange, how just a couple nights ago you let him finger you in public, and now you’re afraid to ask him for sex again in his house and for your panties back.
You should honestly just say something like:
I’m here for my underwear.
And you’re positive he’d say:
Want it back? You gotta earn it, sweetheart.
And your knees would buckle and you’d sink down to the carpeted floor in front of his couch and suck him off until he was coming down your throat, stroking back your hair and thumbing his cum on your plush bottom lip.
But instead you’re scowling at him and blurting: “I need a drink.”
How dare he leave you high and dry for three weeks, come back and fuck the shit out of you, make you realize you’re in love with him, and look this good?
God damnit, you need to get your shit together. 
Joel’s eyes widen, surprised only slightly by your outburst, before he backs up to allow you inside his home. When he shuts the door behind you, his hand settles warmly on your lower back as he steers you toward the kitchen.
He immediately beelines for the liquor cabinet and grabs a bottle of red for you. A warm, tingly feeling stirs in your stomach at the fact that he knew you’d want wine. The frustration you’ve been feeling fizzles out. 
“You know me so well.”
He gives you a light smirk, uncorking the bottle. The liquor gurgles as he pours it into a glass. “Think you’d kill me if I didn’t know after all this time.”
You laugh, “Sure, but the real test of friendship is if you knew how I’d kill you.”
“A swift kick to the nuts and then one of my guitars to my head.”
Your eyes widen on a guffaw. “You think I’d damage one of your guitars?”
“You care more about my guitars than my genitals?” 
“Yes. Why would I ever smash one of your guitars?”
He rolls his eyes. “Kill two birds with one stone—my soul and my body. It’s effective. If you needed to kill me, I’d hope it was like that. Now how would I kill you?” 
You hum in consideration. “Trick question. You wouldn’t—no, you couldn’t.”
“You know me so well.” 
His words mirrored back at you so gently, with his brown eyes trained on you intently has the warmth in your belly spreading, making you drop your gaze.
His smirk grows and he hands you the wine glass and reaches for some homemade brandy. You watch the muscles in his arm flex as he pours, sipping daintily while your mind replays thoughts of filth. Of you dragging that arm between your legs, grinding down on it until—
“So, you really only here for a drink?” He asks with a playful lilt, taking a sip of his own beverage and effectively jolting you out of your daydreaming.
You lean against the island, wondering if you should tell him the truth. From the way he’s looking at you, hungrily and heated, like a lion ready to pounce, you’re tempted to.
But…you’re afraid. You can’t stop thinking about The Rule. The one you broke and the ones you just made. You wonder if whatever might happen between you two tonight will unravel them before you can even put them into place.
You look up at him through your lashes, lips pursed around the rim of the glass. “Maybe, maybe not.”
His eyes darken, tongue darting out to lick his lips of sweet fermented wine. His gaze travels up and down your figure, comfortable and breathable in a t-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy and cute like your sundress from the other night, because today you had to work. But Joel has never minded what you’ve worn, swearing you always look sexy in anything.
Which is something that also makes you question this friends with benefits situation you have here.
He sets his glass down and eases in closer, curling an arm around your waist to pull you into him. “How high’s the chance then?”
“…What do you mean?”
“I mean what’s the probability that you really did only come here for a drink?” he drawls, eyes following your lips as your tongue dips out to wet them. “Or was there another reason?”
The cold tip of his nose brushes along your throat, lips ghosting over your skin. You tremble in his hold. “Odds are in favor of the first option,” you breathe, “ran out of alcohol at my place.”
“And you couldn’t just stop by the Bison? Had to steal from my stores?”
“You know you have the good stuff.”
“You’re lyin’ but I’ll pretend like you ain’t.”
That makes you laugh, and more tumble out of you when one of his hands traces lazily over your stomach, fingers light and delicate and teasing.
“So why d’ya need a drink?”
Because you’re driving me crazy. Because I’m driving myself crazy. Because the universe wants to fuck me over.
You smile and your free hand skates up his muscled back, your fingers brushing along the stretchy fabric of his tee, your voice soft. “Just needed to destress a little. Work has been intense.”
He grins back, presses it into the spanse between your throat and your shoulder, before he lightly scrapes his teeth over it and lays a gentle bite that has you keening into him, pressing your body against his.
“Well, I could help you destress another way too,” he murmurs, palm squeezing the pudgy flesh of your waist, fingers digging lightly into your muscle.
“Mm… yeah?” you hum, your voice a low purr, back arching. Your breasts press into his chest, and Joel makes a sound deep in his throat in agreement.
He presses you into the island, caging you in with his hands on either side of you. He towers over you, a sweatpant clad leg sliding between yours. 
He leans down to kiss you, and a flashing light blares in your mind — NO KISSING — loud and bright and distracting. You turn your head at the last second, his lips landing on your cheek. But Joel doesn’t pull back, doesn’t question you. He just kisses down your cheek, along your jaw, mouthing at you. Sucking your skin to leave little marks that will either fade or be covered by concealer. 
It used to upset you when he left marks because they’re a pain to cover up. Then, you started to like it. You didn’t mind covering up the marks because when you took the makeup off and saw them at the end of the day, all you could think about was him. About the how he made you come. About the words he muttered in your ear. About the feeling of his hands on you—in you. 
Now, you’re starting to grow upset again, but this time it’s because you want to wear them proudly. Want people to know he gets to claim you like this. But… you can’t. But you also don’t want him to stop.
You allow him to continue marking you up, his hand coming up to rest behind your skull, holding you in place. You press your body into his eagerly and with desperate, soft noises that he returns with placating moans.
And then he shifts, and his thigh ruts against your clothed core, and you moan lightly, airily, grinding your hips down against him, searching for any friction. 
His hands curl around the hem of your white tee, and he peels it off your body. One skates behind your back to easily undo the clasp of your bra, and then your breasts are heavy and on display for him. 
Joel stares down at you with heavy eyes. “Christ, you’re beautiful.”
Longing claws at your chest, and you look up at him coyly, your lip caught between your teeth. Joel groans like he’s in pain, and squeezes along the underside of one of your breasts before leaning down to close his mouth over the nipple while his other hand gives attention to the other, squeezing and pinching. Your hands find purchase in his damp hair as low moans tumble from your lips. 
When he’s deemed one nipple adequately appreciated, he moves onto the next. Licking, revering, his dark eyes peering up at you while his peppered hair is fisted in your hands. The sight has slick arousal pooling in your underwear.
Eventually he pulls back and his hands clamp down on your hips. He guides you along the muscle of his thigh, your clit pulsing at the contact. 
“Want you to come on my thigh, baby.” His voice is a ragged slur of words against your ear, warm and paired with a kiss to your cartilage. 
“Fuck…yes, Joel,” you whimper, sparks flying through your nerves with each roll of your hips.
His fingers grip your chin, tilting your head so you have no choice but to keep eye contact with him as you rut against his thigh. He’s grinning, eyes heavy lidded and deep, dark like wet tar. They suck you in as if they were quicksand.
You’d let him drag you under a million times over. 
Your best friend.
“Joel,” you moan, feeling yourself grow close. Standing at the cliff's edge. His eyes bore into yours, his grin slipping as he focuses on you. Focuses on making you shatter atop him.
“Come on, baby. You can do it. You can come,” he says encouragingly,  fingers stroking the skin of your hip. You feel tears prick your eyes as the waves crash, spreading from your throbbing clit along your muscles. Filling you with warmth, stronger and deeper than the buzz from the wine.
“Good job,” he praises gently. “Did so good.”
“Shut up,” you huff.
He laughs, and despite yourself, heat floods your body, throbs between your thighs. His words caress a deep, carnal animal inside of you, and the hunger takes over.
You frantically pull at his shirt until he has to tell you to slow down, and takes it off himself. Your hands run along his chest and stomach the moment they’re able to and down to the waistband of his sweats. You palm his hardening cock through the soft, gray fabric. Joel groans deep and heavy, his lashes fluttering as he stares you down. His hips thrust into your palm automatically. Involuntarily. 
God, that makes you light up like a firefly. Makes your nerves sing and your cunt flutter and your mind go numb.
He tugs down your shorts and underwear and sets you on top of the granite, but before he can strip the underwear from your ankle to no doubt pocket this pair like he did the other, you flick it off your foot across the kitchen. It lands somewhere near the door to the dining room.
He can’t steal all your underwear, or you’ll have none left.
“I wanted those,” he drawls, expression on the edge of a pout.
“Yeah, well I need them. It’s not common to come across a good pair of panties in this world.” 
“But I’d give ‘em back.” He’s full on pouting now. It is, unfortunately, very cute, but you’re used to it.
“Sure… like the pair you took from me the other night that I have yet to receive.” 
“How else am I supposed to get you to come over?” 
“I dunno? Maybe ask?”
“Should I leave a note on your door? Is that good enough for you?”
“At least be classy. A letter delivered in my mailbox with a wax stamp, please.” 
He laughs. “As you wish, Princess.”
He finally peels off his sweatpants, free of underwear beneath them, and you watch with barely concealed hunger as his cock springs free. 
And while you like the idea of him fucking you on the counter, you’d much rather him fuck you against the counter, so you hop down and turn so your back faces him. Your hands curl around the granite lip of the counter top, and you push your ass out and back, peering at him over your shoulder.
This way, it’s easier for him not to kiss you. Easier for you to turn your head and deny your lips to him. 
“Look at you…” Joel hums appreciatively at your show, at the wiggle of your hips as his palm smooths down your back and over your ass, squeezing at the plump flesh. 
You moan quietly, and Joel’s eyes darken, watching you intently like you’re the only thing in the room. 
His fingers drift down to your cunt and your slickness coats his fingers fully. You’re so wet for him. So ready for him to bury himself inside you and call you his.
It’s funny, you’ve lost all your heat from a few nights ago. All your sharp edged words. Now, you’re soft and pliant.
He swirls his soaked index and middle fingers along your clit, punctuating your sensitivity, before sliding them back inside you to the knuckle. You keen and push back, desperate for more. His fingers are so much longer than yours, thicker, and yet you crave more.
“That’s it, Joel,” you huff. “Fuck, feels so good. Need more.”
“Yeah? Tell me what you need, baby girl.”
Shame lights your cheeks, but you push down the embarrassment. “Need…need your cock inside me.”
He lays a kiss on your neck. “Still a bit desperate aren’t we?”
“You’re the desperate one, Mr. Panty Stealer. You’re a fucking creep.”
He chuckles against your neck, but he squeezes your ass in retaliation. “Be nice, would you?”
“You like it when I’m mean.”
“Wanna see how much I like it?”
“If you’re willing to show me and get on with this, sure.”
He huffs in amused frustration. “God, you’re annoyin’.”
You just smile innocently at him.
Your legs tremble, slick running down your thighs when Joel pulls his fingers out. He replaces them with the hardness of his cock, of which he runs along your wetness, readying himself.
“I think ‘bout you way too much,” he says into your back, pressing a gentle kiss there. “D’ya think ‘bout me too?”
It’s an odd question. One you’re not expecting. One that has your heart stuttering in quiet confusion from this sudden switch in tone.
“Of course I do.” Obviously. You told him as much. Three weeks. Three weeks you thought about him.
“Good… wanna be the only thing on your mind.”
A high pitched keen hisses through your teeth as Joel eases himself inside you with a long, slow stroke and a low moan. Your fingers white knuckle the countertop, gripping it tightly.
He presses in close, burying himself all the way in before he withdraws slowly, his cock sliding inside you torturously. 
“Joel,” you moan.
“I know, baby.” He presses kisses to your shoulders. 
Joel’s hand gravitates to the back of your knee, and he slowly pushes up to lift your leg until your knee is resting on the counter. 
And then… with this new angle…he starts fucking you in earnest.
His hips snap against your ass, the sound deafening in the kitchen, and you crumple against the granite with a moan.
“Shit,” Joel grunts. “Yeah.”
Each of his heavy thrusts punches the air from your lungs, and your fingers slip on the countertop, scrabbling for purchase every chance you can get. He’s hot, thick inside you, warm as he folds over you, his hand on your tummy holding you upright, the other keeping your leg up to continue hitting you at that pleasant, delicious angle.
“H-holy shit—oh—“
He breathes heavily at your neck, low grunts and moans escaping his lips from his efforts. “Could spend eternity inside you, darlin’. Fuck, you’re mine.”
Your heart stutters, the words uttered in a lust filled craze, likely meaning nothing. But to your traitorous brain, to the hope lingering in your chest like a persistent cough, they mean everything. 
“All…” you’re losing your train of thought, fucked into blissful nothingness. “All yours, Joel.” 
It’s too difficult for him to kiss you from this angle, which you’re relieved about. But a part of you longs for it, longs for the feel of his mouth moving against yours. 
Joel’s strong arm wraps around your chest, and pulls you up so you’re flush against his back as he pounds up and into you. Keens and whimpers and breathless pants escape you with every thrust.
“Please, Joel,” you cry, tears pricking at the edges of your swirling vision.
“What, baby?” He huffs. “Need’a come?”
You nod crazily. “Yes—need to—“
“Shhh okay… I’ve got you,” he murmurs gently, the hand wrapped around your tummy inching down to circle at your clit steadily.
Your legs buckle beneath you but Joel keeps you upright as the pleasure soars through you, sudden and strong. He strokes you through it, groaning praises into your ear before he comes inside you a moment later. 
The two of you hiss in tandem when he pulls out, but he smothers it when he lays his mouth over yours. You’re hardly coherent enough to remember your rule, and for a moment you let him kiss you. You kiss him back, chasing the heat of his mouth with your own, moaning against his lips when his tongue dips into your mouth. 
Then, you remember.
You pull back panting, cheeks a flame, “Joel.”
“Hm?” He murmurs, dragging his lips down your jaw before moving back up to pull you into another kiss. You move away before he can. His brows furrow in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t… I don’t think we should kiss anymore.”
He blinks. “What? Why?”
Your eyes flit across the kitchen, catching on labeled jars and wooden spoons and spices, anything but his own. “It’s too intimate.” 
It’s a lame excuse. Joel sees through it immediately.
“And my cock inside you ain’t?”
You sigh heavily, avoiding eye contact. “It’s different.”
“How? Enlighten me.” His tone has gone rougher. Hurt swirls in his eyes, and you feel worse than you did the other night.
Because you and I are friends. Because I don’t think I can pretend like that’s the truth when all I want is to call you mine. Because when I kiss you it’s like my world finally starts to make sense. 
“Please, Joel. Just…I don’t want to do it anymore. Can you respect that, please?”
He runs a hand down his beard, his hurt expression hardening into a stoic one you haven’t been on the receiving end of in years. Fuck. “Alright, I’m sorry. I won’t kiss you anymore.”
You expect relief but all that comes is a deep longing and sadness that you try to push to the depths of your conscience. Though, like a buoy, it keeps popping above the surface. 
“Thanks,” you say quietly.
The cleanup is awkward. He watches you silently as you pick up your underwear and slide them and your shorts back on. He seems far away, here and gone all at once. It makes you worry, makes you wonder if what you just said was the biggest mistake of your life.
But you have to do this. You have to hold him at arm's length because if you admit to him…if you tell him how you really feel… maybe he really will leave you. He’ll realize you’ve gone and fucked everything up, and the friendship you’ve kindled, the trust you’ve built, will all be for nothing.
You can’t lose him, even if it means you can’t keep him close.
“Thanks for tonight,” you say eventually, when he’s walking you out the front door.
He smiles at you, faint and untrue. It’s like the one from the other night. Like that laugh he forced out for you. You feel like a Joel from the past has teleported to the present, with his thin smile and his hard eyes. “Yeah, of course.”
“You okay?”
Joel frowns, shifts on his feet. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I dunno. You just seem… I don’t know. Never mind.”
“I’m good.” 
“You sure?”
He nods. “You need me to walk you home?”
“No, I’ll be okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” you hum. A moth circles the porch light. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment. He looks as if he wants to say something, but thinks better of it.
“Okay,” is all that he says. 
“Okay,” you repeat, feeling empty. A waif, a lonely white flag waving in the wind. “Um, I’ll see you later, then.”
“Yeah, sounds good. Night, darlin’,” he says, squeezing your arm, like he’s trying to be normal. It doesn’t work. His hand is cold. “Sweet dreams.”
“Night, Joel.”
It’s raining by the time you reach your house, and you curl under your blankets after a shower, your hair cold and wet against your scalp, listening to the droplets splattering against your window.
Sleep doesn’t come easy.
part 3
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minhosimthings · 5 months
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A La Folie ft. Jay
Synopsis: Wounds came and went. All in the circle of life am I right? The greatest warrior among all the kings, Park Jay. For him, seeing blood was like seeing the sky. It was a daily routine which he could not escape. Yes sometimes he had grave injuries, which he wouldn't stop to take care of, with him being a workaholic. But sometimes healers do more than heal physical wounds, and for Jay, you did exactly that.
Pairings: King!Jay × healer!fem!reader
Warnings: angst, fluff, no smut (yet hehe), mentions of blood, violence, domestic abuse, mentions of cheating, mistresses (don't read it if you can't handle it), mentions of food, Jay has a REALLY tragic past sorry bout that, reader is an orphan, also this is really dramatic IM SORRY I CANT NOT WRITE DRAMA, open ending oohh
A/N: EYYY MR JAY PARK WOOHOO Ngl I was so excited to write this but the exams and all made this kinda difficult to write so if anyone has been waiting for this I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. Also yes this wil be in three parts yay. @yunabi436 this is for you baby 😽
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
The French Quotes Series Masterlist
"And from Aphrodite's rotten lovesick blood did the white flowers turn into a darker shade of red, eternally forming the flower of love."
Aphrodite and the hunter Adonis' tale had been one of boars, blood, lust and love.
For the young king of the iron-kingdom of Vadronia (rightly given its moniker), the only thing he cared about in all of those four things were the boars and the blood.
Jay Park's kingdom wasn't the strongest in all of Paradoxica just in a penny's wish and a flick of a tail feather. It was quote unquote 'molten from iron itself' as all its rulers were.
From all of his brothers, Jay was probably the one who took his duties as a warrior seriously.
Well, a bit too seriously, according to the said brothers.
"Jay would you please stop running so fast?" Sunghoon panted, putting his hands on his knees and breathing heavily as beads of sweat dripped from his hair and skin.
The mud track was always the hardest one to trench upon, and with Jay on your trail? It was hell. Atleast that's what Jake and Sunghoon described it as.
"Are you going to be saying that when you're running from enemy horses?" Jay turned back and glared at Sunghoon, the light autumn breeze giving him peace as it whipped his hair around.
"For God's sake Jay, no one is going to invade us now." Heeseung walked into the scene, with much less sweatier clothes and an arrow clutched in his hand, indicating he had come back from his target practice, "Give the poor guys a break."
"Yes please give us a break I'll go down on my knees." Jake was close to collapsing on the floor, his hand desperately clutching onto the nearby flag pole for support.
"You'd go down on your knees for your best friend." Jay scoffed, throwing his head back to shake the sweat out of his hair follicles, because as glorious as they were, the stray strands still annoyed him, "And you." He turned towards Heeseung, who, even though was much taller than Jay, now looked like a dwarf in front of Jay's broad figure, "How many times do I have to remind you to come for practice?"
"It's not my fault." Heeseung jut out his bottom lip, he always loved acting cute in front of Jay even if he was older, "Little princess back at home has been spying on me. And not gonna lie, I am extremely aroused."
"Why did I even ask?" Jay rolled his eyes and stretched out his arms, the bright burning sun reflecting in his eyes like the moonshine he loved so much, which he drank by the fireplace as he penned down poetry he could show to no one.
"So Jayyyy" Sunghoon dragged his words out, "Felt any sparks lately?"
"Ask that question again and you'll be running twenty laps round this track." Jay promptly replied, cleaning his face with the lavender-smelling towel the nearby servant handed to him. He always loved the lavender scented things, it reminded him of the springs with his mother, oh how she would tease him with tiny flowers in his hair, and the clink of her ruby created dagger in her belt. The dagger lay soulless now, sitting in a secretive place in Jay's room, as he stared at it and remembered that moment again and again. His bastard father, no matter how many times Jay had cursed him, he still couldn't get it out of his mind.
His mother, his compassionate, kind mother, didn't deserve to bleed out from his father's turn of blade.
And no matter how many potions he took, the smell of the blood filled ballroom still lingered in his nose at night, when he would jolt awake in cold sweat, wanting to cling onto his mother, but then he'd remember that he wasn't eight anymore, she was gone.
"Jay you're my brother and I really respect you a lot." Heeseung started, sitting Jay down on the oak bench, while Jake and Sunghoon quietly sneaked out, running for their lives back to their horses, "But you've got to find someone to love in your life, you've got to get over your fear."
"Weren't you the one who was complaining about love to Jake and I a few days ago?" Jay raised a magnificently trimmed brow, to which Heeseung chuckled.
"Yep but then I fell into that rabbit hole and I seem to like it, a bit too much perhaps." Heeseung stared into the distance, instantly losing his dramatic moment as the setting sun hit his pupils.
"Yeah, someday when I'm older maybe." Jay fiddled with his fingers, he never could keep them still, "But for now, I wanted to ask if you'd want to come with me on a hunt tomorrow?"
"A hunt?" Heeseung quizzed, lifting himself with much difficulty off of the bench, bow in hand, "You haven't invited me to a hunt in ages."
"Necessity is the mother of invention." Jay got up as well, scented towel still in hand, "And in this case it's that wild boar our men have been hunting since last month, been terrorizing the border between Tarnow and Vadronia now. I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet."
"Consider me blinded by love." Heeseung threw a flirtatious wink at Jay, who visibly gagged, "I'll be there."
"I'll be waiting."
"No no no, Jay, we, under no circumstances, apply essence of Hibiscus to a water snake's venom." A lady with greying hair sighed, bending over a wooden cup, while a sturdy, black haired man gulped heavily and stared nervously at the herbs in his hand.
Jay was never very successful in his healing classes, and under the strict gaze of his teacher, old Mrs.Chun, he was far away from catching the train of success.
"I don't get it." Jay frowned like a child, setting the hibiscus flower down on the table filled with healing equipments of all kind, "Wasn't the essence of Hibiscus supposed to combat this snake's venom?"
The old lady sighed again and rolled her eyes, snatching the hibiscus from the table and setting it into a basket full of the bright red flowers. With her other hand, she picked up a wicker work basket of lavender and lifted it up to Jay.
"Lavender. I said lavender remember?" She smiled up at Jay like an encouraging teacher, "Lavender for the wounds which make a man turn purple, and hibiscus for the blood drops."
Jay mumbled the rule under his mouth before pressing the lavender petals to the venom splanched across the bown om front of him. The purplish colour immediately turned a healing shade of dark yellow, satisfying Jay and letting out a sigh of relief from the old lady.
"Just some more practice and patience and you'll be a good healer in no time." Mrs. Chun patted Jay's arm sympathetically.
"But why do I even need to be a healer?" Jay asked curiously, putting the box of potions up on the shelf where they belonged, "I'm already a warrior."
"Every great warrior needs to know how to tend to his own wounds." The old lady smiled, looking curiously at a green flask, "I made a vow to your mother to never let you fail in this subject."
Jay smiled fondly at the thought of his mother spending her hours in the infirmary along with Mrs. Chun. Mrs. Chun herself was like his mother figure, providing him the hugs his 14 year old self needed so bad years ago.
"And remember Jay!" Mrs. Chun called out just as Jay was about to leave the room, "I won't be here for the entirety of next month."
"But then who's going to look after the infirmary?" Jay turned back and raised a quizzical brow at Mrs.Chun, who smiled gently.
"My apprentice will." She promptly replied, "She's a nice girl, I told her all about your predicament of failing at healing." Jay let out a chuckle at Mrs.Chun's joke, "She'll take your classes alright?"
"Don't miss me too much Mrs.Chun!" Jay laughed, "I'm your favourite remember?"
Mrs.Chun laughed heartily to herself. Oh that boy, she thought, still a bit at heart even if he was a man to the world.
Only a bit of love perhaps, can truly lead him to show this side of him to the world.
Jay sighed heavily as he plopped down on his armchair, the most comfortable one by the fire.
Love, he scoffed, what a stupid, dangerous thing.
He believed his father to love his mother, he believed his mother to love his father even as he went out every night to quote unquote 'find himself'. Mistresses were awful buisness, and no Queen had ever objected her king having one. But of course, his mother had to object, she had to be different. She had to storm in to her husband and his lover and confront them. And his father, fire-filled man he was, had to strike a blade through her belly, making her bleed out in 14 year old Jay's arms.
And of course, Jay, blinded by his rage, had to strike his father back, skilled as his father was, Jay was more fleet footed, and in the blink of an eye, his father and his father's new toy were lying in cold blood on the floor, as Jay sobbed, clutching his mother's body, dead as a fish out of the ocean.
And his brothers had noticed, they had always noticed how Jay was never the same from that day. From the happy boy who loved to write stories and poetry and who hated to even step foot in the training yard, Jay became the mercenary king, ready with his sword clutched in hand, and his poems long forgotten to silence and withering darkness.
But it wasn't to say that Jay was a ruthless ruler, he chose not to take that path, especially not after half the kingdom starved under the rule of his father. It wouldn't have been a lie to say he was the kindest one in all of Paradoxica, except he didn't really show it in the way he spoke or acted, but by the way he controlled the administration and whatnot of the kingdom. This kept his busy, seldom leaving time for any other activities, much to the disappointment of his brothers, especially Heeseung, who had always been the closest to him, who had known what he was truly like, deep inside.
Clutching his eagle feather quill, one of his most dearest ones, Jay dipped the tip into his ink pot, letting the excess ink dry off before pressing it to his leather bound diary.
When he wrote the feelings he couldn't ever say out loud onto the softwood paper, Jay felt a sort of contentment, he had always been a clandestine philophile, so to write his proses on the idea of love, death and misery, was to create a beautiful choreography on his mindset.
Alas, if there was only someone he could show them to, someone who would understand what Jay meant in the lines, even with his messy loopy calligraphy, that would have been a dream truly come true.
But how could a man who wrote poems to challenge the angels of love themselves, ever find love?
But I am a mere narrator, what would I know?
And sometimes, just sometimes, Cupid lurked in the ballrooms of dancing princes and in the dark inkpots of oxymoronic kings.
"I have no idea what's happening, but I'm happy to be here." Sunghoon's beautiful Clydesdale horse pranced around on the grass, as energetic and as similar a persona as her owner.
"Would you tell her to calm down?" Heeseung's own chestnut's hooves guided him towards Sunghoon, "She needs the energy for the hunt." Heeseung easily managed to calm the mare down by scratching behind her eyes, to which Sunghoon drooped since he had been enjoying the prancing around a bit too much.
"Why are we going on a hunt again?" Jake adjusted his saddle, making sure he was buckled in properly to his Fox Trotter horse, "Aren't we above killing animals now?"
"Your best friend tell you that?" The clip clopping of Jay's magnificent Dutch Warmblood sent all of the soldiers to silence, "And if the animal is a wild boar, no we aren't above that."
"Whatever you say, oh great King." Sunghoon snickered, as he did a sort of bow on his horse, making everyone laugh.
"Oh shut up." Jay rolled his eyes, clutching onto his horse's hair, and leaning into his usual stance, "Come on now, don't want to keep a beauty waiting do we?" And with the mighty neigh of his horse, he rode off into the forest, followed by Heeseung, Jake and Sunghoon, who followed with dramatic sighs.
"Sometimes I wonder if he just wants to live in an adventure book and say cringey lines all the time." Sunghoon jested, making the others laugh.
"Where on earth is Sunoo?" Jay shouted out, completely ignoring the statement made about him, as the rest of the three managed to catch up to his horse's pace.
"Probably tending to his vineyard." The wind whipped Jake's hair around, "God knows if he'd ever accept coming to a hunt with us."
"Maybe a grape hunt-"
"Shh!"
Jay's action of stopping his horse, and shushing everyone startled the others, and as the clopping of hooves quietened down, they understood why Jay had stopped so abruptly.
The rustling of the nearby begonia bushes, combined with the noises of an animal which sounded extremely similar to a wild boar, alerted them, as they drew out their swords, daggers and metal tipped arrows, all from treasure chest of Vadronia's amazing metalwork, aiming them at the begonia bushes, as Jay held up his closed fist to give the command.
"Come on out." Jay whispered to no one in particular but himself, as the begonia bushes began shaking more rapidly and the sounds of an animal's footsteps came nearer.
"Hey maybe we should-" Heeseung bagan quietly to Jay, but was interrupted by the ripping of the begonias into shreds.
And there it was, what Jay had been waiting for.
A big wild boar in its full magnificence.
Ivory tusks in full gleam, swathes of brown fur all over its damaged skin, with wounds from previous hints. A ture display of its strength, Jay thought, it wanted to intimidate them, as if to say 'see how many people haven't defeated me yet, why do you think you stand a chance?'.
"Steady now, Lady." Jay patted his horse, which was ever so graciously named Lady, although the mare's personality in battle was far away from a lady's. Jay always preferred mares to horses, he though they were more faster and agile, while horses used their brute strength. And he had a hatred from brute strength. It was what got her killed after all.....
"Jake look out!" Heeseung cried out, snapping Jay out of his daze of staring into the boar's eyes. Of all the animals of the world, he hated this one the most, he hated the way his father loved to hunt them, and how he'd come home from hunts everyday drenched in blood with a boar skull im his hands, from which his mother would recoil from, what with her hatred of the smell of iron.
Hatred, that's all that was there in Jay's life. And that's all there will be.
"Jay, we have to get back come on!" Sunghoon cried, his horse already galloping away. The boar was far too big for them to contain. "Jay?" Heeseung peered back, "Jay no!"
But the sturdy built man's ears heeded no warning as he stepped along to the boar, his sword clutched tightly in hand, the carving of his name in the metal shining bright, as if to warn the spirit of the forest that he has arrived.
"Hyung what's happe-" Jake and Sunghoon's horses had turned back to see why the eldest wasn't coming, only to see Jay stabbing at the boar, while Heeseung tried to get Lady, who was close to prancing away into the depths of the forest.
"Help me would ya!" Heeseung cried, flinging his rope around Lady's magnificent neck, to which Sunghoon and Jake came quick and flung their own ropes, "One of you help Jay!"
"I'll go!" Sunghoon's horse galloped towards Jay, but to his shock, he saw that the boar was already lying, its movements still, and Jay standing drenched in blood.
It was dead.
Jay's sword was decorated with ribbons of maroon.
"Jay what the..." Sunghoon began, but he could find no words. The boar had been big, two times the size and strength of any ordinary man, and now it was kneeling at Jay's command, kneeling dead and cold as a fish.
"It's dead." Jay growled, his breathing too heavy, and his hand clutching a particularly dark spot on his stomach, as Heeseung and Jake came to the scene, having calmed Lady down, "The tusk...."
"The tusk? What about the- Jay!" Heeseung cried, before jumping off his horse and quickly moving towards Jay's graceful falling figure.
The last thing Jay felt was the feeling of wet grass underneath his head, Heeseung's hand over his wrist, and the familiar scent of feminine lavender pressing over him before everything went dark as he had always wished for it to be.
Jay never cared much about his injuries. No matter how big or small they were, no matter if it was a paper cut to the thumb or an arrow head to the shoulder, he would simply say "Injuries happen, it's a part of life" and move on. Which proved to be a source of annoyance for his brothers, especially Jake, who had an eye for healing.
But Jay was a firm believer in the notion that twenty four hours a day simply wasn't enough. He wanted more, he craved for more, more time, more work. Although he wouldn't admit it, everyone was in unison with the fact that he was Paradoxica's biggest workaholic.
And when it came back to the topic of injuries, Jay would still keep working, whether or not he was stuck in bed, because Heeseung had forced him to stay there.
Heeseung remembered Jay's younger days. How Jay would whine and do nothing if he got even the tiniest splinter in his finger. How he would beg for a day off from studies if he merely stubbed his tie against the kitchen ladder while sneaking out to steal pastries. But the horrible incident had changed every aspect of Jay, and now, he wouldn't stop working if every limb in his body was broken.
"All for the good of the people" he reasoned.
Usually Mrs.Chun had taken care of him, scolded him too many times about taking rests whenever he'd come back from battles or fights with blood flowing out his nose. But even then he didn't care. So the vision of waking up to Mrs.Chun's berry scent was a norm for him whenever he'd get injured.
But now, the room wasn't berry scented, and nor was Mrs. Chun sitting in the corner, waiting for him to wake up.
A girl?
A girl, wearing Mrs.Chun's apron, had her head rested against his table, her eyes fluttered close.
Were his eyes tricking him or did Mrs.Chun suddenly become thirty years younger?
Feeling something heavy on his waist, Jay tried to lift his head from his pillow, letting out a guttural groan as he did. God what was hurting him so much? He could feel something hurting at his stomach.
"Your Majesty, lie back down." He heard someone say, and as he opened his eyes, he saw the girl bending over him, forcing him to lie back down on the bed.
Jay stared at her for a few moments, trying to remember who she is before the candle went off in his mind.
The apprentice.
You were Mrs.Chun's apprentice.
"Are you Mrs.Chun's apprentice?" Jay groaned, feeling his head throb and his fingers were aching too.
You nodded promptly, before pushing Jay gently back onto the bed as he tried to get back.
"I'm sorry to inform you, Your Majesty, but you aren't getting up for another two weeks. You were stabbed by a wild boar's tusk." You stated firmly, shocking Jay at how casually you had addressed him, "His Highness Heeseung told me to handcuff you to the bed if you even try to move."
"Handcuff me?" Jay chuckled, moving his body slightly to lessen the pressure on his legs, "Where are you even going to get-"
Jay's sentence was cut off abruptly as your hands pulled out a pair of heavy metal from a secret pocket in the olive green dress you were wearing, and held it in front of Jay, effectively silencing him.
"I'm sorry if that was rude, but you are my patient, Your Majesty.." Your mouth let out a chuckle, sending a weird sensation into Jay's stomach, which he had never felt before, "So, I will do anything and everything in order to make you rest."
"So what may I address you by, My lady?" Jay quizzed you, his head now no longer throbbing for some reason. He studied your features for a while, he thought your eyes were pretty, decorated by a thin lining of kohl. Your figure was pretty too, wrapped in the striking colour of the dress you were in, combined with the beautifully familiar way you wore your hair.
"Definetly not by 'My lady'." You chuckled, picking up your dress, and sinking into a curtsy, "Y/N, you may call me Y/N, Your Majesty."
"Pretty name." Jay complemented, watching you stand up straight from your curtsy and smile impishly at him.
"You've got to take your medicine now." You reached into your apron's pocket and pulled a big vial, which was filled with a bubbling, golden liquid, "Now, according to Mrs.Chun, tricks by pretty people often work on you."
"Pretty people?" Jay scoffed childishly, thinking about whether or not he thought Heeseung was pretty, as you measured out the liquid into a cup, "Mrs.Chun needs to have a check for up there. And do you really think you're pretty?"
You strode towards him with the cup in your hand, and smiled widely. "Well, pardon me Your Majesty, but from the way you were staring at me five minutes ago, yes. I do think I'm pretty."
"Don't get your ego up." Jay warned, taking the cup from you, letting his mind linger for a few minutes on how your delicate fingers brushed his scarred ones softly, "Your parents mus'nt have taught you manners did they?"
"Well, firstly, I don't have parents." You smiled, "And secondly I need to check your bandages, they seem to be bleeding again."
So that was what the pain radiating from his stomach was, Jay thought, as he looked down to see his bandages streaked a darker shade of red. He quickly gulped down the golden liquid in the cup, a visibly disgusted expression forming on his face at how bitter it was, and looked up at you, with widened eyes.
"So...?" He said, expectantly, seeing you fumble with some clean cloth, another vial of what looked like cream, and a safety pin.
"Tell me where it hurts when I change them alright?" You said gently, making his lay down on the bed again, "and uh..."
"What?" Jay questioned, seeing your eyes linger at his wound or more specifically, his ab muscles, "Oh you can touch them it's fine."
"Oh. Oh yeah alright." You said, feeling your face heat up slightly. Bandaging him when he was still unconscious was easier than this, when he was awake. God his stare was so attractive to you, even now, as you gently touched his bandages, replacing them with cleaner cloth, you tried hard not to brush your fingers against his abs.
"Enjoying the view?" Jay asked, a cockish sneer to his voice. "There's a view to enjoy Your Majesty?" You fired back, although you most certainly were enjoying staring at him.
"You're an interesting one." Jay said, trying to make small talk as you lightly pressed against the smaller wounds with the cream, "Y/N wasn't it?"
"Yep." You said with a pop of your lips, finishing wrapping his wounds with a slight tap to check if they were secure, "And please do stay in bed and don't work. If you need anything, I'm right outside. His highness Heeseung has told me to rest in the chambers opposite yours."
The chambers opposite to his, his parents' chambers. God did Jay hate that room, all big and filled with skulls from hunts.
"If you want to you can go home, I can manage on myself." Jay said, his eyes set on yours. Why was it so hard to maintain eye contact with you?
"I know how that idea works." You smiled again, bringing that weird sensation back into Jay's stomach, "I'll go and then you'll order someone to bring you your work, so His Highness Heeseung specifically asked me not to leave. I guess you're stuck with me Your Majesty." You curtsied to finish off the impression.
"Jay." He spoke again, to your confusion, which made him stifle a chuckle, "Please, call me Jay."
"Jay." You smiled to yourself, "Well, ring that bell if you need anything."
As you left the room, quietly shutting the door behind you, Jay had the sudden urge to kick his feet in the air. The room was filled with lavender scent, your lavender scent to be specific, and it gave Jay a sense of calm, which in turn reduced the pain radiating from his stab wound.
Well this would be an interesting two weeks.
"Your Majesty what on Earth are you doing?"
Jay froze in his position at hearing a stern voice. Your stern voice, to be precise.
"Resting?" He said, trying to hide his cheeky smile, as he slowly backed away from his table. Rolling your eyes, you quickly got him back to the bed, worried that his bandages will open back again. But the only thing Jay was worried about was that his work wasn't getting completed.
"How about this?" You asked, as you finally managed to wrestle him back to the bed, "I'll do the work for you, if you agree to rest. It's in that diary right?"
"I can't let you do that." Jay grumbled, reaching for your arm, as you hurried to get to the diary on his table. The cold touch of his hand on your warmer skin made you flinch heavily, which in turn made Jay pull his hand away.
"I'm sorry." Jay quickly apologised, as you rubbed your arm, "I- That's my private diary, I don't really allow people to see it."
"Oh, my apologies then." You curtsied, still rubbing your arm, feeling extremely cold for some reason, even if the warm daylight was coming into the room through the window, "Your Majesty-"
"Jay." He corrected, shooting you the tiniest fragment of a smile.
"Jay." You said again, this time feeling more at ease, "You've got to rest, I'm begging you. Those bandages won't magically heal you until you rest. If there's anything I can do to get you to rest, I'll do it."
Jay's ears weren't actually listening to anything. His mind was too distracted again, by your scent. God damn his strong sense of smell, but you smelled like memories he wanted to forget.
"Tell me what perfume you use and then I won't work." Jay looked up at you with a cheeky smile. He didn't know why, but he felt comfortable to show you his smile, which he didn't often feel with the ladies in their paraffin socks.
"I- that's a peculiar question." You said, not knowing what to feel aboutthe actual King asking you about your perfume.
"I swear on my own grave that I will rest if the great healer Y/N tells me her perfume." Jay recited, keeping his hand on his chest for dramatic effect.
"It's the lavender one we get in the town square from Marcella's." You raised your chin up high, "Now would you rest?"
"Hmmm let me think." Jay dramatically sighed, "No."
"Your Majesty, I will beg." You breathed desperately, "I will seriously-"
"Your collarbone." Jay interrupted, his attention diverting from your eyes to your shoulder, "There's something on your collarbone."
Jay took note of the way your eyes flickered quickly and worriedly to your collarbone, and how you rushed to pull the sleeve of your dress up to cover it, clearing your throat afterwards to clear the awkward air.
"Are you-"
"Your Majesty, I admire the way you hold so much strivance for your work but you really must rest if you wish to keep working for the rest of your life."
The atmosphere of the room had a drastic change, Jay could feel it, as you quickly curtsied, said a quick "excuse me" and hurried off towards the exit.
That wasn't a stain or a birth mark on your shoulder Jay knew it, as he leant back comfortably, and decided to follow your advice for a while.
He'd seen dark marks like that on someone he once knew and loved.
And something in him asked him not to rest (unless it was pretending for you) until he figured out where that bruise the size of a man's hand, came from.
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Part 2 coming soon....
Tags: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @yunabi436
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strawberrymatchawhore · 11 months
Text
7
exbf!jungkook x exgf!reader
“you wrap around me and you give me life… and that's why night after night i'll be lovin' you right”
summary- after seven long years of the breakup between you and jungkook, he randomly decides to show up and tries to prove that hes really a changed man.
warning/s- DUBCON. rough sex under the influence (both sides), hesitant y/n, choking, fingering, messy sex, lovebomb/confession, nutting inside (a/n also sorry for not posting for a while n this was kinda rushed soo i do apologize in advance LMAOOO)
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you loudly groaned and smacked your hand around the couch to look for your phone, who the hell calls at this hour ? you took a hit of the joint youve been smoking for the past few minutes and then clicked the answer button.
“hello ??” you lazily say and roll your eyes and take another hit.
spam callers are so fucking annoying.
“y/n…” the voice says, it was deep and husky… even almost sounding like..
“huh ?!!! jungkook ??” the call abruptly ends until a loud knock can be heard from your front door. you get up confused and take a peak through the window and see your ex boyfriend leaning against the porch chair.
fuck what now
you open the door and take a second to figure out what to say.
“what are you doing here ?” you said in a monotone voice, trying to hide your interest as to why he decided to show up after so long.
“i need to talk to you y/n.. please.” he slurs gently pushing you aside to go inside your house, the smell of alcohol and expensive cologne accumulating from his body.
“jungkook..” you tried slowing his pace down and pushing his chest but he wouldnt budge.
“jungkook !! you cant just randomly show up to my house like this and expect me to welcome you with open arms !!” you dragged him to the couch and made him sit down you stood in front of him and examined his state.
“y/n you smoke now ?” he picked up the joint and tossed it back down.
“yeah that doesnt matter right now, why are you here ?”
“look.. i just wanted to say.. i just wanted to say that im sorry for everything that ive done to you in the past. i know words cant fix the damage ive done but after all this time i never forgot about you and i realized all of my faults.. i really really have changed for the better, and i hope you can let me back into your life again y/n.” he slurred, it was almost funny how desperate he sounded. like the roles of the past were now reversed.
you tilted your head, jungkook was never one to own up to his mistakes or even apologize. the sinking feeling in your stomach rises when he briefly mentions the past. but even drunk, maybe he really has changed. it has been 7 years. you stood in silence as jungkook made himself at home on your couch.
“look jungkook, its been a while im gonna have to think about it. and youre drunk, just lay there and i’ll get you some water. you can spend the night.” you softly said, damn it. he was good.
he nodded in response and you went to the kitchen to get water and meds, this also gave you time to collect your thoughts. you said you would think about forgiving him but could you really believe that he’s changed after the relationship you were in with him all those years ago ?
you put the stuff for him on the coffee table and sit down near him, trying to keep a distance. closing your eyes and opening slowly feeling the high more. you look over to jungkook and laugh. this didnt feel real at all.
he then sits up and scoots closer to you, leaning his body onto yours. his mouth was now near your ear and you could feel his hands gently massage your waist. he pulls you to his lap and you let out a low gasp from the sudden movement.
“jungkook. we really shouldnt be doing this…” you say using his thighs to try to get up. the grip he has on your waist tightens, almost bruising even. you wince and move around his lap more to try to get free.
“what do you mean ?” he lowly says he keeps one hand on your waist and massages it his other hand makes it way up to your neck and squeezes.
“you’re basically grinding on me.” he chuckled, you could feel his bulge pressing against you. you whine and dont respond. only the music playing from your tv could be heard. what situation did you just get yourself into ? he lets go and his hand slides down to your pj shorts touching the wet spot on your panties.
“s-stop.” you moan, sounding extremely unconvincing. the both of you knew that you were just saying bullshit, your legs basically open wider for him to continue further. his pushed your panties to the side and gently rubs your clit, and teases it before dipping a finger into your pussy.
“you sure you want me to stop ?” he adds another finger and speeds up, his palm stimulating your clit. you moan and grab his hand.
“…your pussy is just so fucking wet.” jungkook whispered in your ear. you know you shouldnt be enjoying this but you honestly missed him and wanted more. not that you would admit it. even though he most definitely knows by now.
“fu- all f’ you.” you mewl biting your lip, it felt too good.
“yeah all f’ me ? does it feel good baby ?” he teases nibbling your ear. you moan incoherent words and close your eyes.
“course it does just listen to how youre taking my fingers.” you could hear the wet slick sounds of his long skinny fingers going in and out of your pussy. his rings adding more to the package. you could feel yourself about to cum and jungkook slows down.
“you gonna cum ?” you whine and nod yes grinding on his hands to try to get back the lost stimulation. he removes his fingers from you and roughly shoved them into your mouth, you automatically suck and swirl you tongue them licking them clean of your juices. seems like you still have some muscle memory.
he guides you off his lap and maneuvers you face down ass up. giving him a full view of your ass, he gives a few hard smacks before you feel him move his tip up and down your pussy. already antsy and wanting more, you try to reach back and put it in yourself but he grabs your arms and pins them to your back, forcing you to arch it even more.
“uh uh youre not allowed to touch, just lay there and be a pretty little thing for me.” he says before pushing his dick inside of you. your mouth opens into a silent o and you push your hip against his.
“ah-h feels so good kookie.” jungkook leans forwards and uses your arms to thrust faster and harder. your ass bounces from the force.
“fucking missed this pussy.. missed you. ah- fuc-” he breathily whimpers, your moans synching with his.
“youre the only one that makes me feel like im enough and i- fuckkk- im sorry.. oh my- god.” he rambles and moans completely pussydrunk, your cream forming rings at the base of his cock. disappearing and reappearing with his thrusts. he lets go of you and rest his hands on your hips, guiding them towards his big cock.
“you got nothing to say y/n ?” he mocks knowing that youre fucked out, your head rests on the couch cushion and drool covers your chin. you could only moan in response, tears filled your eyes as you felt yourself about to cum.
“no-gonna cum ahh!” your eyes squeeze shut and you grip the couch, your body starts to shake and you expect jungkook to slow down. but no, this man is evil. in fact he speeds up and fucks you through your orgasm.
“jungkook.. jungkook thats too much !!” you whine and reach back to push on his abs. but he chuckles and grabs your arms again. lifting you up against his chest with one arm. the other wipes your tears and rests against your neck.
“gonna fill you up nice n deep.. wanna see that shit leaking from your tight pussy.” he squeezes your neck, if his arms werent holding you up. youd fall right down, the pleasure he was giving you was intense. he was fucking you stupid.
“fuck jungkook, please cum inside please please.” you could feel your second orgasm come when jungkooks first arrives with it. his thrusts gets sloppy but he tried keeping his pace. you were met with a warm sticky feeling inside you when jungkook gently lets you go.
“so pretty all filled up with my cum baby.” he coos and drags his leaking cum back inside you with his fingers. you whined from the overstimulation and he laughed in response. making sure all of it went back inside you, he leans next to your figure and brings you into the little spoon position.
“i love you so much y/n i promise to never hurt you again.” he kisses the top of your head and cuddles into you tighter. you dont respond and just lay back feeling your high come down. this was gonna be a long and hard night of thinking, who the fuck did you let back into your life ?
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wannaeatramyeon · 10 months
Note
THANK U FOR THE RECENT SAMUEL SEO im literally so obsessed with him i cant-
but!! he’s not the only one!!
could u try goo with a childhood friends!lover? (im just going through my list of red flags boyfriends with this trope heh)
To my requests. sorry for not answering in order. Btw I've got a school day/teenager long fic with Goo in the Gun + Goo masterlist... but how about this.
Goo Kim x Reader: Childhood 'friends'
G/N. Sorta childhood friends to lovers.
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Goo descends into your life like an angel.
"Will you pay me if I beat up these boys?" he shouts over, giving the wooden baseball bat in his hand a few practice swings.
(He takes in your cowering body, cornered against the wall, the group of older boys slinging insults first.
Then your pristine, limited edition trainers and the expensive label on your clothes second.)
You look over at the short figure with the badly bleached blonde hair. He seems small for his age, same as you.
Best case scenario, he makes good on his word. Worst case, they beat both of you up.
You give a nod and all hell breaks loose.
.
.
Goo isn't an angel at all. He's a demon that has ascended and strutted into your life.
"Is this enough?" You ask, peeling open your velcro Sanrio wallet and removing a handful of bills.
"Thanks!" Goo swipes it out of your hand, tainting the notes with blood before tucking it away in his pocket with a reassuring pat.
A body at his feet lets out a groan and he gives them a hard kick. You think there’s a crunch of bone breaking. It’s not as sickening as you thought it would be.
"That one's for free." He gives you a gigawatt grin and you return it. In your eyes, not even what you just witnessed this boy doing could tarnish his shine.
"My name is Goo," he signals for your phone and you hand it over without a second thought. He taps in what you assume are his contact details before giving it back.
"Call me if you need any help." You reach out to take it and he leans in, smile taking a dangerous edge, "You'll need to pay though."
.
.
For fear of retribution, you ask Goo to walk you back home from school everyday for the next few weeks.
You text him a time and an address, and he texts you back his price. It's enough to drain your allowance, but not enough for you to risk your safety.
He waits for you by your school gates everyday, with his patchy hair and a scruffy jacket three sizes too big, and gives you a wave with both arms whenever he spots you.
He's chatty. Much chattier than you expected. Always just seemingly rattling off whatever is on his mind. Animes he has watched, manhwas he's reading. What he had for lunch, what he's craving for dinner.
You piece together that Goo is only a few months older than you. He should be in 6th grade by now but he never mentions school. You don't think he even attends school.
He also has a terrible sweet tooth, that you pay for of course. Stopping off at a convenience store together as he picks out a snack.
"Get whatever you want." you say the first time you catch him deciding between a drink or a bar of chocolate. "I'll pay for it."
He buys both.
That should have been a mistake. He drains your allowance further everyday. Yet you can't help thinking it's fine as he gives you a toothy grin that reaches his eyes.
The weeks pass by in the blink of an eye. When you reach your front door on the last day, Goo shuffles, fidgets uncharacteristically.
"I can keep walking you home," he says, eyes on the floor and kicking at dirt. "...I can give you a discount."
.
.
Goo starts seeing you at the weekend too.
You're the first person that sees him after getting his hair professionally done.
"I'm handsome, aren't I!" his bravado masks his nervousness. He doesn't know why he's nervous in the first place, but when you agree and ruffle his newly coiffed locks, it evaporates completely.
Payment comes in the form of food and drinks, snacks and street food, cinema tickets, small little gifts he has his eye on.
As consolation, at least he always shares.
.
.
When you first met you're sure he was shorter than you.
You don't remember when he matched your height, but now you notice you have to tilt your chin up to look at him.
You miss the scruffy jacket he used to have. The one that he rapidly grew out of, body filling out with muscle. It gets replaced by more and more luxurious brands. His hair looks more and more polished. He picks up glasses along the way to complete the look.
He still makes you pay every time you meet. You feel like he lets you off easy with cheap choices because his taste these days seems anything but cheap.
You wish you had more time with the boy you used to know, but you love the man he's growing into.
Goo never lets you sway too far away from him, keeps you by his side most weeks. Reaches out to send you silly memes or calls you just to ramble his thoughts when you're apart.
You're two peas in a pod.
.
.
The longest time you spend apart is when Goo is sent away to juvie.
An unknown number texts you, says they're Goo's cousin and breaks the news.
It doesn't come as a surprise, considering how you first met, the person he is. You've spent years together at this point and seen him at his most violent and bloodthirsty.
Still. For you, nothing can tarnish his shine.
.
.
On the day Goo is released, you're waiting for him outside the juvenile detention centre.
You're the first person he sees, and he waves at you with both arms before opening them, welcoming you, offering himself.
He’s even taller, more muscular. His features distinguished and jawline cutting. His hair, just like years gone by, is bleached and patchy. 
The grin is the same. It’s always the same.
You sprint and throw yourself full force into Goo, knocking the air out of his lungs.
He holds you tight. Clings on harder than he ever has. Missed you more than he will ever admit.
As if you're reading his mind, you murmur into his collar, "I've missed you.'
Goo takes a deep inhale, nose nestled in your hair and breathing in your familiar scent. Relishing your touch, your presence, you.
He doesn't plan on spending this long away from you ever again.
"Me too, Sweetheart."
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kararomanoff · 1 year
Text
once upon a time a daddy just wanted her baby
this was written by a minor, if that makes you uncomfortable just don’t read
You are at an archery competition and stay in a hotel where all the other contestants are also staying. Kate Bishop was always your main competition, she was your enemy , but one night you appears at her room door. (G!P Kate)
warning: g!p Kate, daddy kink, rough sex, degradation, pet names, oral sex (r giving), p in v sex
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You had done archery since as long as you could remember, your grandpa had been the first person to teach you always spending time together in your grandparents garden practicing, he was your best friend and when your mom who was his daughter died you and your dad moved in with him.
He had always been there for you even when you came out and your dad had shouted of days until he decided to leave your life over it and yet again grandpa was there, he was now all you have, him and archery.
you first met Kate Bishop when you where eleven, you where at your first serious archery competition sitting on the bench waiting till it was your turn when she came up to you and said ''apparently your who im up against to win, your just a stupid little girl your not going to win'' she was 14 at the time and that's how it's been since ; her thinking very little of you and you wanting to prove how good you are.
now sitting in a hotel room in berlin alone trying to figure out why Kate has only ever been horrible to you for these seven years. You had never known or asked why and it made everything hell, you never started doing archery competitively for the competition you did it for the community and for getting friends that had the same interest as you and all she had done had made it something scary, you didn't want to try prove yourself all the time just for her to never change, she is twenty one now and still acting the same as she did at fourteen, its ridiculous.
you need to speak to her. you need to shout in her face and tell her how she made hell out of you life.
she was some where in this hotel, all the contestants are.
you walk down to the reception desk ''hi, i was just wondering if you could tell me what room Kate Bishop is staying in, i need to speak to her'' you speak to the middle aged woman ''are they expecting you?''
''no'' you feel nervous now, what if you cant speak to her
''one second let me call and check its okay for me to give you her room number'' shit there is no way Kate is going to give it to you.
You wait as anxiously as she phones knowing Kate will give you shit for this when you next see her.
she comes off the phone ''she said yes, its room 1457'' you thank the woman for her help and then make you way to Kates room now having no idea what you are going to say or why she is letting you in her room.
you get the door of room 1457, Kate's room, her room. You knock on the door and wait what feels like forever till the door opens. Kate stands there in a shirt and her boxers, you cant help but stare at the outline of her cock and think about how big she is but you stop yourself.
You look back up, her lips held in a steady smirk ''I need to speak to you'' she nods and moves to the side to let you in. Kate sits down on the bed as if you weren't even there as you a stand as far away as you can.
''why are you here little girl hm? isnt it past your bed time''
''mm yeah it is but- what no Kate im 18 i dont have a bed time'' you lie, you did have a bed time that you had chosen but you couldnt tell her that.
''awww you do have a bed time dumb baby, when is it, 7pm?'' she laughs
you feel small when she treats you like this; which is practically when ever she speaks to you. ''no it at 10:45'' you mutter under your breath
''oh look at that its 10:35 ten minute till bed time and you here, do you need me to read you a bed time story? give you some milk?'' you shake your head feeling powerless against her ''come here'' Kate demands softly but you not move ''I SAID COME HERE!'' you walk over to the bed and stand in front of it ''little girl you cant go to bed in your clothes'' she sounds so evil ''Kate i cant do that'' you speak quietly ''you can and you will or i'll make you'' she threats and so you take your clothes off until your left in your bra and panties.
Kate stands up from the bed and walks behind you till towers over you. She presses her front on your back and you can feel her hard dick against you. ''you cant sleep with a bra on, such a dumb girl'' Kate tuts as she unhooks your bra till it slips off ''be a good girl for once and lie down on the bed for daddy'' you do as you told and lie down.
''now daddys going to tell you a story little girl okay'' she sits down at the desk chair and cups her cock through her boxers
''m'kay''
'' once upon a time a daddy just wanted her baby but her baby was bad and wont spend time with her daddy and that made her daddy very sad'' Kate pulls her boxers down till her dick comes out, she wraps her hand around it and start to move her hand up and down ''all the daddy wanted to do was care and teach and give her little girl super special treats but her baby was dumb and kept running away and then... well...'' she stands up to properly take off her boxers ''daddy had to punish her little girl'' you where in shock but also so very turned on it was embarrassing
''come to daddy baby'' you got up and stood in front of her ''your gonna be a good little obedient thing and suck daddys big special treat to apologise for being such a mean bad dumb little girl, open for daddy'' you open your mouth and she shoves her cock inside, you whine never have having a dick in your mouth, Kate know this, she know you where her good virgin and she know that she was going to take that from you and turn you into her fuck toy.
Kate grabbed you by your hair as she started to thrust into your mouth not caring about your whine and moans or the tears running down your face ''fucking take daddys giant cock take it'' her thrust speed up and her grip on your hair tightens ''fuck such a little whore all for daddy, bet your soaked hm? bet your pussy trying to grip onto nothing cause you want daddy in you so much''
''daddys gonna cum and you are gonna swallow every. last. fucking. drop'' and as she says that she cums send it all the way down your throat.
a minute later she pulls her dick out of your mouth, a string of her cum and your saliva going from your mouth to your her pretty pink tip '' take your pantie off and then get on the bed on all fours'' she commands and yet again you do as your told still wanting to prove how good you are.
''look at you doing what i tell you too, did daddy fuck some sense into you little one?'' you tried to reply but anything you tried to say was incoherent.
''this is gonna hurt at first but then it'll really really good, daddy promises'' Kate rasps as she starts to push her length
''mhmm daddy i-'' you moan
''i know slut daddy feels so good'' she then fills you with the entirety of her cock
''so fucking tight for daddy'' she starts to move pretty fast for at first but shes been waiting years for this. You had never given her a break, always being a good innocent girl with the bonus of daddy issues. Kate had lost count of the amount of times she jerked of thinking of her pretty baby, you've always been her pretty baby you just hadn't known. She was going to make you her dumb baby and you weren't going to say no.
you where close already, Kate could feel it; she could feel you squeezing her tight. ''so wet, is this all for daddy little girl?''
''yes daddy, yes all for you'' you where mindless at this point.
''you mine, mine only'' she husk possessively
''only daddys''
''fuck thats right whore'' Kate moans
''daddy i- i feel weird'' you cry out not really understanding the way your body feels.
''let it go baby, cum for daddy'' and then you came feeling so free and overwhelmed and floaty, suddenly thought you feel to much, over stimulated as she continues to thrust into you even faster than before.
'' 's to much daddy'' but she doesn't stop
''but daddy need to cum stupid baby''
'' 'm okay'' you tiredly reply
''fuck daddys gonna cum'' Kate paints your walls white as you whine.
Kate pulls out of you as you blink trying to keep your eyes open ''you did so good for daddy, everythings gonna be okay now i can look after you. sleep little one''
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landolovef · 1 month
Text
Going home - lando norris
Summary: Many months had went into planning this trip. From the timing, the days and the activities to scheduling down who your going to introduce to your boyfriend and at what time and day. You hed spent everyday making sure that this was going to go perfectly just for everything to change last minute
Warnings: swearing
As a Canadian i felt it was right to use canada as the country. Plus fc is canadian as well!!
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Over the last months after moving in with lando although everything had gone perfect its began to feel lonely. The constant change happening has been feeling like to much recently so you decided to plan a trip for yourself and lando to go back to your home in canada. To reunite with your loved ones and friends.
Yes Lando knows about the trip and everything that is planned for the two of you yet he does not possess the same excitement that has been slowly creeping inside of you. Infact Lando is dreading this trip and everything about it. Including going to canada, meeting new people and just everything. He thought that it was made clear by his reactions to your plans that he did not want to accompany you on this trip. every time you mention it his face drops and he groans.
You know about how much lando doesnt want to go on this trip with you but you cant figure out why. You want to share your life with him. You want to share where you came from your friends your family and everything in between. Yet he just doesn’t seem on board for reasons you and him are not even sure about.
Finally approaching the final days before the trip you decide to sit down with Lando and have a conversation with him about him refusing to come with you. Althought the conversation beging peaceful you never expected for it to come to this.
“Lando please just tell me why you cant come with me ive spent months planning this for us me and you not me alone” you plead with him hoping hell understand how important this is for you.
“Ive made plans plus canada is a shit country anyway I’ve seen it before i don’t need to see it again” lando states out of anger leaving you confused.
“Oh… im going to leave don’t follow me dont text me just not until i get back at least” it hurt, it hurt you to hear lando say your country isnt worth visiting, it hurts to hear hes disregarded every plan you had made for the two of you just to make his own. It hurt knowing he didn’t care enough to do something he knew you were so excited about even if he didn’t want to. Everything about him doing this hurt.
Lando knew he fucked up the moment he saw you leave with your suit case. He didn’t mean to hurt you he just had other things he wanted to do during his summer break and that doesn’t include spending it in canada. He made
Plans about a week ago to go golfing with Carlos and his father, he made plans to stream with max, he made plans to stream with filly,
And he had stuff he wanted to do with quadrant he didn’t see the big deal.
2 days later you made it to the airport alone. You had an uber drop you off. In the uber you have came to the conclusion that you don’t need lando to enjoy spending time with your family and friends so you had blocked his number. Although you and all of your friends knew that this was only temporary until you get back to Monaco. You thought it was best you and Lando have some space as he truly did hurt you with every action and every word he had said and done.
Making it to canada your first stop off the plane is to grab a coffee from Tim hortons as it was closest to the airport.
Lando at home had been busy all these plans he made have finally caught up to him and he’s realizing now that he not getting the break he had thought he would during the summer. He missed you, he missed waking up with you he missed your voice, your smile just everything about you. You had been radio silent for days and lando doesn’t understand why so he decided to be the first to reach out
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It’s not till he’s speaking with max does he notice that he’s been blocked. Max made him realize a lot that day including why you had been so upset about what he said and his choices to set up his own plans when you had spent months planning something for the both of you.
He feels guilty. He knows he messed up and he knows he has to make up for it. It doesn’t help when he sees your instagram post about how much you had missed home and your friends. So he spends the next day setting everything up. He messages your parents to see when would be a good time to stop by, he books a flight, and finally packs everything he needed from the list you had sent him a while ago.
YourUsername . Just posted
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Liked by: Landonorris, carlossainz55, yourfriend1, username8 and 763 others
YourUsername: canada i missed you couldnt be more glad to be back
Yourfriend1: so only missed the country then?
-YourUsername you would be correct
LandoNorris: miss you baby
- username4 hes not with her?
Username48: shes stunning
-YourUsername: all you
Finally he knocks. You’re confused and so are your friends. No one else was coming over so who was knocking? You paused the movie which happened to be your and landos favourite movie to watch together the hangover.
As you swing the door open your met with the piercing eyes of Lando which makes you feel so many different things. He’s here.
He’s actually here you don’t believe it so you do what you see in movies and punch him in the arm but not hard enough to hurt him.
“Ouch babe what the hell” Lando exclaims even though you both knew it didn’t hurt.
“Sorry had to make sure you were real plus you deserve that” he knows he does, he really does deserve that and so much more. So as he pulls you into the tightest hug ever he whispers.
“I know i know im so sorry i fucked everything up, i fucked up this trip you’ve been planning for months and in the process i hurt you im so sorry you have no idea” he continues to go on and on so you pull him into a deep heart felt kiss that he knew meant you appreciated him coming.
Although you knew he still had to work to be forgiven in the moment all you cared was that despite not wanting to he had come all this way.
Authur:
Thankyou to everyone who reached out last post and to everyone who engaged means alot!!
Also i messed up the text messaages nooo just know their meant to be from lando to y/n
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visenyaism · 9 months
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Okay but what’s your daeron ranking from most to least exciting I’ve got to love gay flight daeron son of the unlikely vanishing from the narrative
1) war criminal daeron, imperialist. jon snow kinned him as a child and the idea of him shouting IM THE YOUNG DRAGON in the winterfell courtyard is everything to me. why was his fantasy to die young doing futile dumb war. i mean i know why that’s the shit jon has always been on. but anyways daeron watching his father never ever mentally escape the effects of the dance of the dragons until he dies relatively young because war is hell and then immediately being like LETS START ANOTHER WAR the second he was crowned king at 14. anything to fill the void of not having a dragon.
2) gay daeron who invented gay marriage. we know not much about him except he was too based to live so Aelora’s opps from FIFTY YEARS EARLIER somehow returned to take him out. rip
3) war criminal daeron, 8th grader domestic terrorist. Love the greens inexplicably having one completely normal member who is just cheerfully committing mass casualty events because his big brother told him to. cant wait to see him on television when he shows up in season 2 (he will. you’ll see.$
4) daeron the good. should be a sicko given that his three parental figures in his life were aegon iv naerys and aemon. and 3/4 of his children were at least a little bit dragon madness pilled and yet. a boring pretty chill nerd king who almost got usurped just because daemon blackfyre could do a cartwheel and he couldn’t. bear the sword next time
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jendollzz · 9 months
Text
11:36pm
- njm
fluff, kissing, very cute, jealous jaemin
You’ve been dating jaemin since last may, its only been a year and 4 months. You never knew how much a life can change in one year and 4 months, you felt like you knew jaemin your whole life but at the same time it feels like 2 months ago you just met him. Due to both of your crazy, clashing schedules you’ve only seen jaemin a handful of times after his tour. Today though, jaemin invited you to sleepover to stay over for the weekend (as you often do when the both of you are mostly free during the weekends). You left work and came straight to his apartment, punching in his code in to his apartment you head to the kitchen putting down your bags on his countertop. His three kittens come running to you “hiii my cuties” you kneel down and pet them all. “wheres you dad hm?” Talking to lucy in your arms while heading to his room. Usually jaemin would be the first one you’d face when you come over but now he isn’t. “jaem?” you call out softly in case he’s asleep. Entering his room. You hear mumbling coming from the bathroom,
what the hell is going on??.
You head to the open bathroom door and you’re met with your boyfriend with a really thick white face mask on. “Oh my god! You scared the living shit outta me” placing your hand over your chest to calm yourself. The cat jumping out of your arms due to your (almost) heart attack. “i cant really talk baby im sorry” he barely lets out the words from the tight mask. By the time you take a quick shower, change into your his pjs, jaemin is already in bed almost half asleep. Its already a bit past midnight, the clock reading 12:12. You turn off your side lamp and land on his bare chest. “all the skincare you put on right now is on my chest” you both chuckle, he stares at your tired figure, his fingers lazily brushing against your hair. “what time do you have to leave tomorrow” you ask, moving your head to get a better look at him. “afternoon..” he says, as if he’s making sure not to break the calm ambiance surrounding you two. You give a small hum in return and mumble a something he can’t catch. “hm?” he tries to make out something but he can’t. “i love you” you confess. Jaemin continues to stare at you, its not like this is the first time you’ve said it nor has he. But he knows theres something under that ‘i love you’ just by your tone. “i love you too baby, you want something?” You move slightly to look at him but not saying anything, he encourages your hesitant figure by giving you a slight nod. “what if we moved in?” your heart beating so fast you can hear it as if you have noise-cancelling headphones playing some edm just by throwing that question at him. You’ve talked about moving in with each other multiple times, plus you’ve been dropping hints here and there ever since you’ve decided to move.
“we?” he asks
“I meant like me, since you know i want to move out anyway it’d be a nice chance and you dont need to change anything for me. I love your house, and its-“ your rambling is cut off by his laugh “why are you laughing” you start to let out small laughs along with him. He shakes his head and pulls you closer, kissing you. You pull back after a bit not wanting him to brush off the question. “So…?” Your eyes glistening, waiting for his answer. The longer you wait the more your hope drops. “Why would i ever say no to you?” He brings his hand to tuck away your hair falling on your face. “So… yes?” He nods. You loved that about jaemin, treating you with everything you deserve. You have the princess treatment, literally. You want this necklace?, he buys. You’re craving pancakes?, he makes. You need a new gym trainer?, he’s there. All you want, you get. You move closer to peck his face and lastly his lips. “You taste like chemicals” jaemin says in slight disgust at the unpleasant taste in his mouth. You let out a loud laugh at his face “so now i can never kiss my boyfriend?” You try to sound offended. “Of course you can, just not when he has 7 layers of skincare products on” he moves his hands slowly so you don’t notice and start attacking your stomach. You can barely cover yourself, jaemins hand holding together both of your wrists. “No- jaemin! Stop stop please please” he finally stops falling on his side, facing you once again. “What was that for??!”
“For not calling me yesterday” he says calmly
“I said sorry??” You defend
“Sorry isn’t going to call me”
“You’re sulking? Jaem i called you and you didn’t pick up i figured you went to sleep early”
“Well i didn’t”
“Fine.”
You both have your back turned away from each other. This was normal for you two, having a petty fight but make up 5 minutes later.
“Come closer its cold..” you mumble, all the energy completely drained from you.
He lets out sigh before turning around and meeting your face. “You’re taking out their litter tomorrow” he says moments before you sleep. “Oh my god..” you give in at the end.
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rzyraffek · 10 months
Note
Platonic yandere yautja x human child reader
Aww dad yautja😊 I didn't write for yautjas in months!! Hopefully u enjoy it!! Also i used they/them for kid. No tw, only cuteness and wholesome dad figure yautja👹 request open
Dad yautja with human kid
Bro is confused ??? Tf??? Why is there a child here??
He either found them abandoned in middle of nowhere or accidentally killed their perents, by 'accidentaly' i mean ofc he wanted to kill them he just didn't know there was a child nearby and now he feels bad
Kinda finds human pups ugly😭 why are you so smol and loud wtf
Dad!yautja after he kinda adopts y/n he gets too overprotective! Like dude won't leave their side at all, especially when you guys are outside; dude will pick them up and just carry around.
Can't cook to save his life, he kinda set kitchen on fire. And humans cant eat raw meat, so now you are on fruit diet for now (and veggies)
Had this parental instinct to teach them everything, how to shoot, find food, basic self-defence, overall taking good care of themselfs. But he kinda likes that he has to provide for them, it gives him control yknow
When he carries them around everywhere! He acually lets them sit on his shoulders or just hang on his neck😓😍
Cant say no to those cute big eyes! Yes he will let them 'decorate' his armor (with glitter and stickers) and he will let them paint his nails and he will lisen to them gossip about their friends.
If his kid is a little artist and walks up to him and says "papa i drew you!" He does not care that he looks like a lizard nor that they didn't color it perfectly. Dude is purring, picking y/n up and he carries this drawing in pocket everywhere
Other yautjas say that he spoils them, but he disagrees! Your a HUMAN baby, i mean yeah your basically one of yautjas now but!!! Your tiny! And your skin is so squishy!!!
He had to learn how to comb their hair cuz at some point y/n simply refused to cut it (me too lil guy) and he respects them so much he won't just do something against them
Kinda wishes he could understand human body language more
Also about body language i can imagine kid just kinda mimicing yatuja body language and habits. Like dad!yatuja will say "child please go to bed its late" the kid will just angry respond with a hiss👹 "hsssss👽🦎" "?????" If yaujtas had eyebrows, he would rise them
If y/n is a girl, and she has her first period? Dude panics! HUHH WHAT BLOOD??? FROM WHERE!?? UHHHH????
Dude tries to be a perfect father figure, he tries to have similar intrests with his kid so they can connect more, but if y/n is totally not into hunting, collecting, nature themed stuff, Yautja is more than happy to catch up with whatever teens are into this days, but he will judge the hell out of tv shows (if they watch any)
I kinda forgot it suppose to be yandere so it turned out to be just wholesome im so sorry
Understands that kid needs privacy but he will just go invisible mode and lurk in shadows! Like what if somone attacks you??? Or worse! What if you meet some humans that he doenst like??? What if they will tell y/n all lies about what 'bad war crimes' he commited and what 'murderous' his kind is!! Those are lies pls dont lisen to humans
No boy/girlfriends!!! Nuh uh!! Your his little baby you cant go doing all those... things... with some human. ugh! this person probably can't even hunt for you!! Or give you nice treasures!! Or build a pretty nest!! Why would you like them my child?? Look at all those trophies i gathered for all those years! You should stay here!
He loves the fact that he lives in some wild ass jungle and y/n cant leave him due to all those dangers around, plus he loves that y/n will always stay tiny(in comparison obviously) and weak so be basically needs to provide for them! Right???
I used x reader tags ONLY to reach bigger audience
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