#cant find what i need cant afford what i need still have to somehow leave w some kind of sustenance

[kitkatpancakestack]

You want a psychological horror saw trap just go to the grocery store

[florenceisfalling]

sorry for not realizing, i hadn't checked your blog in months before today and i kinda figured you would have blocked me in the time i wasn't on tumblr if you didn't wanna talk. the post i replied to seemed lighthearted so i did not know. obviously no need to answer this as i won't ever see it, just wanted to say i'm sorry for upsetting you even if i won't ever know exactly what went wrong with us

i mean you still have my discord dms if you really wanted. in fact, you actually stopped responding to me, not the other way around. i didn't block you because a.) you were such a large part of my life for so long that, yknow, a chunk of my blog has some sort of attachment to yours, and i didn't want to fuck up my ability to see relevant posts if im trying to find old writing shit and b.) i always wanted to leave channels open because... again, you were a large part of my life for so long. i don't want to be your friend but if anything ever came up and there was something you needed or wanted to say i wanted that to be possible for the sake of "just in case"

regardless of if you "wont ever see it" heres my answer. even this ask answers itself for one of the reasons i dont like you. you hadn't checked my blog in months. which in itself is fine, but in the grand scheme of things - jesus fuck, man! you dipped out of my life almost entirely, on repeated occasions, unless i actively tried to drag you back in. regardless of how fucking apparent it was that i was literally on the Brink, you wouldn't be there unless i was the one to call. even after i tried to have an open conversation with you + others involved on how you were so bad at handling your shit that i thought random things i had zero involvement were my fault because no one gave me any sort of indication to what the fuck was going on.

you hung out with bullies and downplayed the deserved backlash. you don't know how to take other peoples feelings or lives seriously - something that hits me so PROFOUNDLY because your kindness and comfort used to be one of the reasons i liked your company so much. you hurt my friend. and you lied to me! and more, shit that i cant say here! and you would complain and guilt-trip about how you felt like everyone hated you and how you were such a bad friend but you so rarely made steps to actually change anything you were doing! of course you don't see what went wrong, you can't even look in at yourself without making everyone else feel like its their fault for being hurt!

and id love to say that everything ive heard from you and the people surrounding you is some kind of misunderstanding and that really and truly you dont deserve my anger. i dont think you realize how much ive sat over the past year and hoped that we were somehow gonna go back to normal. i wanted to tell you i got engaged! i wanted to talk to you about a million things! but after what i had to deal with last year (not from you, other shit entirely) i sort of learned that i cannot afford to trust anyone. you have no idea the fucking depths i went to and you are not going to know because the kind of people you seem to love aspiring to be/surrounding yourself with are the same kind of people who made my world feel like it was fucking falling apart. literally some of the most insane trauma ive endured was just brushed aside as silly discourse or jokes or whatever so yeah. not sure if i can trust that everythings all just one big mix up. messages are open but i am so angry and i cant change that even if i want to and i dont think you want to hear any of it.

and im sorry for being so lighthearted about you before i thought it was a post that would just fade into the ether like my other non-context bullshit

[octopoet]

Scattered Thoughts and Unanswered Questions

(not a poem, sorry)

empty isn't really a good word for it. i don't really know how to word this so im just going to write it as the thoughts flow.

i read once that people call it a creative spark because when you sit still and don't use it, it smolders and burns, filling ones body with smoke until they choke and suffocate. honestly, i agree. This summer has been interesting.

i purposely planned to have an empty schedule so that i had time to really pick apart how i worked and how to live my life before plunging into this new and unforgiving chapter of living i have before me. the reason being that so far I've been so choked up with obligations that i haven't even had a chance to sit down and ask myself why im doing it all.

or at least really think about it. to the degree of overthinking that is my usual standard.

i guess thats what this is.

a running commentary of overthinking. Ive found that putting the words before me is a nessecary tactic. A defense against the fluid and frantic nature of unrestricted thought. now that i have this time to myself however, i’ve put it to doing what i never had time to. Reading, making, spending time with the family.

the things i told myself would make me feel better, back when i had no time to do them at all. well the joke’s on me. They didn't make me feel better. sure the stress levels are down, and i can afford to spend four hours reading instead of working myself to death. (Hyperbole) but somehow i feel even less fulfilled than when i was running around doing things someone else told me to do.

i guess what im trying to say is, doing things other people told me to do always felt like a chore, but now that i have the time to do whatever I want, it doesn't feel any better.

it feels like im floundering, wasting this precious resource called “free time” that i had so little of not so long ago.

I feel like i HAVE to be making something of it, and im not.

i feel like i HAVE to be making something. And here we go back to that creative spark again. the catch is that making things exhausts me. Using that creative energy i feel like i absolutely have to use leaves me too tired to fulfill my other needed obligations. i took time this summer intentionally to find other things to do that refreshed me rather than drained me like creating does. However, the low-effort things that refresh me like reading or listening to music leave me feeling unfulfilled, and guilty as if that time was poorly spent, and should have been used for better things, and that guilt kind of defeats the whole purpose of resting and refreshing in the first place. It’s not really working out. work exhausts me, creativity exhausts me, but taking time to regain my energy fills me with guilt. I suppose part of me believes that i can only rest when i’m dead.

but ill come back to the topic of tasks that others have assigned me, since that whole “relaxation” thing isn't working out. i cant shake the feeling that its a distraction. That tasks designed by others are merely an obstacle on the road to true fulfillment. A restriction preventing me from attaining freedom. Well freedom isn't working out for me either. At least i felt like I was getting stuff done when i had work to do.

I cant shake the feeling that these tasks are something “surface level”, that they’re not what this whole “life” gig is about. Having a job, driving a car, meeting these people, completing this assignment, it doesn't feel like this is what im playing the game for. Excuse my terminology but it feels like “side quests” on the road to some main and overarching purpose that i just haven't figured out yet.

so what really is my core? If these things are just my surface what lies beneath? What really is life about if all this stuff is just auxiliary.

It feels like everything i have been and done so far is a shell on the surface of the real me.

If I am the sum of my experiences then how many of those experiences define the real me?

how many of those experiences were “real”?

what parts of me are “real?”

Sometimes it feels as if i have been a different person in every moment of my life.

differing circumstances and differing expectations call for differing versions of me. I know the analogy of a mask is what is popular and in truth, has been my main analogy to describe my differing senses of self thus far.

which me is the real me? Which mask is my real face?

i fear that the answer is not so simple, and that the real me is comprised of a fragment of all my parts, of a handful of all my experiences. That my real face is made from one tiny piece of each of my hundreds of masks, and that what im trying to figure out is what piece of those masks is a part of my real face.

this is an extremely strange analogy, and i apologize.

but if i figure out what experiences have truly contributed to my sense of self thus far then surely i can determine my purpose from that? Surely the “real” experiences that contributed to my “real” personality are what i should be doing for the rest of my life.

but as im writing this i know that thats not the case. I know that this attempt at discerning my life is futile, and that no matter how much i analyze my past, i will not be able to predict the future.

One of the many points i think im trying to make in this haphazard mental minefield of a post is that this is a question that a single summer cannot answer, and i do not think even a decade worth of summers will answer. I’m asking myself: “Who am I?”, “What is my purpose?”, and so on… The very question, “what really is life?” Has been asked and remained unanswered, at least completely, since the dawn of rational thought. It seems as if these are questions to which the answers cannot be taught, or even logically discerned but must be individually and personally discovered through years of experience and living. and yet it feels like a catch 22, as if i cannot properly live until these questions are answered, but they cannot be answered until i have properly lived. i suppose i must wait and see. My mind is not the right place to look for the answers.

i will just have to wait and see.

[crimewavezx]

pairing: Dano!riddler × reader.

a/n: It's gonna get spicy soon I promise :>

Cw: obsessive thoughts

words: 2.2k

Ao3

Chapter 1

<?>

Chapter 2: Coffee

You stare at the machine. It's old, should be thrown out. You've already begged the owner but he is adamant it does the job. Sure, it spits out coffee when you throw some in, but it's too dark, burnt almost and has a strange plastic taste to it.

You've spent the last hour opening it up to clean the parts which you were sure hadn't been cleaned since it's conception. You made sure everything fit in it's place and you had been brewing pot after pot, sampling your work. But you still weren't satisfied.

The burnt taste still lingered and now you were sure you could taste the cleaner you used. You made it worse somehow.

You slump against the wall across the cleaner and look to it. Why couldn't it know you needed this job to work? That you needed good coffee? You needed to be friendly, to be cute, you needed the strange men coming in late at night to see you could your job.

You sigh. You cant afford anything else. Finding a job in gotham is impossible. Truly. If it's not mob work it's underpaid. If it's a livable wage your likely going to be mob work that isn't explicitly mob work. Their roots spread deep. You couldn't touch it. Wouldn't allow yourself to fall into that hole. You know what happens when you give yourself over to the life. The cost-- but oh god the money is good. So good. You knew that much.

You knew that if you just told yourself a lie to keep yourself happy you wouldn't have to worry about making rent, or what to eat for dinner. Life would be so easy, wouldn't it? You would just have to accept the price of looking away. The blood on your hands. Maybe it wasn't innocent blood. Maybe it didn't matter.

But this diner seemed innocuous enough. If it was mob work, well they only wanted coffee and you could do coffee. So you thought. Nobody seemed to complain about the last server so why should you care? Why do you care so much?

You can't help the anger which rises in you looking at the coffee maker. It's stubborn. Stubborn like you.

You pull the maker from the wall. You stare at it before chucking it across the kitchen. You can only hear the shattering of the coffee pot. It breaks apart into a million different little pieces.

Your hand finds your mouth. You can only look in horror at the glass all over the floor. You did that.

Joey the cook comes rushing into the kitchen. He looks to you then the late coffee maker. "What'd you do that for?" He yells.

You shake your head. "It didn't work"

He approaches you, "so you break it? Is that how this works? You gonna break the rest of the kitchen next? Look around you girl, nothing works like it should."

He walks over to the microwave and gives it a bang over the top. It lights up. "You gonna cause anymore problems?"

You look at him. The tears start well before you register them. God, it's just a coffee maker. Just stupid coffee. Just a stupid job in a stupid city.

"No, Joey. I won't. I'm sorry" you say.

Joey holds open his arms, as though offering a hug. You look at him. "Free hug" he says.

You hug him. He's warm. It feels better. He gives you a reassuring pat on the back, "don't be so hard on yourself, kid. There's a big electronics store down the road, why don't you go buy a replacement? And I'll tell the boss it really did crap out, and you saved the day." Joey breaks away from you and opens up his wallet. He pulls out a hundred dollar bill.

You gawk as he places it into your hand. "Make it a nice one," he says.

"Joey, I--" you start.

"Hush," he stops you. "The late night crowd will be coming soon, better hurry"

You nod and leave the diner. You knew what electronic store Joey talked about. It's a big warehouse full of electrinic junk, open all night. Shady business but you were in a desperate position now. You were so thankful he was being nice.

Joey is a big guy, real mob type. At first he intimated you as he seldom said a word to you. But he was never rude or cross, he was always very forgiving on your mistakes when you first stated. You were so thankful he wasn't really mad. You would have to find a good way to thank him.

It's getting dark now as you approach the store. In Gotham the dark is invasive. Seeming to eat away at everything. Luckily a single street lamp broke the dark and you found the stores open door.

You enter cautiously. A man's voice greets you. "Welcome, what can I help you with?" You look to a counter along the wall beside you and see a man perched on a stool.

"I'm just looking for a coffee machine," he stands and silently begins walking further into the warehouse. It's dimly lit, the overhead lights were just bulbs attached to long wires.

You don't recognize half the junk you pass. You try not too pay too much attention to what you were looking at, too scared you would see something you shouldn't see at all.

You notice how everything seems winding. Like the store is built to pull you in further, deeper into its belly. You shudder.

Finally he veers right into a narrow aisle Where coffee makers line the shelves. Some were in boxes, some not, but there is a lot to choose from. "I'll be up front when your done" the man leaves you.

You curse a little to yourself as you're sure you'll get lost without him to guide you back to the front.

You look at the wall of coffee makers. You try looking for the same model you have, but it's difficult to make out everything at once. It's so dark in here.

In your frustration you just grab the first box which looked unopened. Better chances it would actually work that way.

You start your attempt at making your way back to what you thought is the front of the store. You think of the turns the man made but it's hard to recall with everything being so dim. You soon realize you are just heading further into the massive maze of a warehouse. It just keeps winding and winding, no marker or indicator to anything at all. Just aisles of electronic junk.

You start to panic. You really shouldn't be here. You don't belong here in what is very likely a criminal's fantasy. You just need a stupid coffee pot because you were stupid and broke the other. And now you were running out of time. It's getting close to your shift starting and you weren't going to be able to find your way out of this godforsaken warehouse.

As you start to truly panic, you look to your right and see a man peeking around an aisle further down. You couldn't make him out clearly as he quickly moves back when you spot him.

"Hey!" You cry and move towards him. It's a really dumb idea to approach a strange man in a shady store, but you'd be damned if you remain lost in here.

"Hey!" You call again. You get to the aisle and see, to your suprise, Edward attempting to hide around another corner. But you've already seen him. You smile at him.

He shuffles nervously in place and quietly murmurs a hello. You see him move to leave but he stops. In his hands he holds a strange box, with wires poking out along the tops and sides. It looks strangely hostile in his hands. He sees you looking and moves to hold the box to his side.

You swallow down your anxiety, "Edward, oh its so great to see a familair face. I really hate to bother you but I'm lost in here."

Edward smiles a little, but still looks on edge, "Yeah, it's easy to get lost" Is all he says. He doesn't move.

"Do you know how to get out?" You ask.

He blinks, as though not realizing you were asking him to show you out. He hesitates, fidgeting with the strange box. "Right. Okay. I'll walk you out." He slips the box into his jacket pocket. You don't question it.

As you walk behind him you are eager to talk to him again. After he left last night you keep wondering whether you really did bother him. You think quickly of something to say.

"Do you come here often?" You ask.

You see his head shake, followed by a short snort. "That's a familair question," he remarks, sounding amused.

You laugh, "well I don't know what to say. This place freaks me out."

"it's probably good that it does." He says. Your silent. He's right.

You were at the front now. Edward turns to you with a sheepish look. You expect him to say something but he only looks down.

The man at the counter speaks first, "find one?"

You are still looking at Edward. "I think so."

You pay with the cash Joey gave you and leave quickly with Edward at your side.

You look at Edward with confusion as he starts to walk with you in the direction of the diner. "You're going to walk with me?"

He gazes up at the sky. It's truly dark now. "It's late isn't? For you to be out alone. Gotham is a bad place."

You nod. "Yeah, guess so. Thanks. And thanks for getting me out of there. Really thought I was going to be stuck for a moment."

He is silent. You walk like this for a while. Just in silence with one another. It feels nice to just be with him like this. He's being friendly. Which suprises you. You think to ask him about last night but he speaks first.

"What happened to the other one?" He gestures towards the box in your hands.

You laugh, "I broke the other one. It didn't work. But hey, hopefully your coffee should be drinkable tonight."

"It was fine last night." There's that word again. Fine. You sigh.

"Did I bother you yesterday?"

It's really hard for him to pretend like he isn't just so excited to be here. Walking next to you. He can feel your body so close to him. He swallows. "No, you didn't bother me." It bothers him that he likes you so bad. That he can't say. Can't say it to you.

You face him. "Oh. Well you just left in a hurry. I didn't make any more pie tonight cause I thought you didn't like it."

He laughs. Like a real, genuine laugh. It suprises you. You laugh in return.

"Just frozen tonight then, huh?"

"Just frozen."

"Bummer." But he sounds amused. He's still smiling when you enter the diner together. He takes his seat at the counter and props his head up onto his hands.

You smile at him. He looks really cute. It's almost too much. "Don't get too excited. I still have to setup this bad boy."

"Take your time." He watches you move into the kitchen. Joey had ready swept up the glass and cleared a spot on the table for you. You feel a little nervous working with Edward watching you. He seems more...amiable tonight. More lively, you suppose. You keep casting him looks to affirm he still watchs you. His eyes barely move away.

You half expect him to pull out his journal but he doesn't. No, no, he's too enraptured by you. He really adores how often you are nice to him when you really shouldn't be at all. So nice. You are so nice.

It'll be too cruel when the time comes. When he's taken away from you. Or when you're taken from him. You'll see the truth and that will end it all.

Everything will change. You'll change. How nice will you be then? Will you still smile? Will the horror of having known him hurt you? Will you no longer want to be nice to the quiet ones? Will you be distrustful? It feels good to have an impact. Even then, Even then.

Setting up the coffee maker is easy. It's a newer model, so it has fewer levers and cranks. Just buttons for your ease and enjoyment.

It chimes with a gentle tone as it finishes making the last of the pot. The color is a healthy brown and the smell! God the smell is actually like that of coffee, just as warm and inviting as you'd ever known.

You are eager to pour Edward a cup. He seems just as eager to enjoy it.

With a grin you place the cup in front of him. "Edward, It is done." The steam rolls off the cup in gentle waves. You swell with pride.

"Finally!" He cries. He goes to grab the mug but you stop him.

"Careful! It's hot. You have to wait."

"I have to enjoy it with my eyes for now?" He giggles.

"Yes, just that."

He smiles at you. "Can do."

<?>

[dumbbbgantao]

The way to stomach is through a girl's heart - ganyu x hu tao

!!Warnings!!: Nsfw, cannibalism, gore, blood, necrophilia

About: Hu tao got into a debt and is not able to afford food and most things a human being needs, she gets depressed. The debt makes her close the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. While going on a walk she saw a precious girl, her body made her a little hungry. This is modern au btw :)

Hu tao just waked up. As always she went straight to her kitchen even tho there was not enough food for her to eat a breakfast. She took a big breath in and went to her room to get something to wear. Most of her clothes were dirty and old since she couldn't afford anything. While going to her room she stood next to mirror and caught an eye contact with herself

"Ugh. I hate you. Look at you and your dirty face. You cant even afford a shampoo to wash your dirty and oily hair, and youre the reason we will be kicked out from this small apartment if we don't pay soon. ITS. ALL. BECAUSE. OF. YOU!!!" She thought

Hu tao got some serious issues with herself since she lost most of her money, she was always dirty since she was trying to save some money by not using water, all she was eating was some instant noodles and all her clothes were dirty. Her eyes looked tired and her whole body was itchy from not showering.

"I finally should go out and take care of myself huh.. I will choose the most decent looking clothing and go outside to breathe some fresh air... Maybe i can finally get some actual job? Im tired of just doing commission... They don't give much mora anyways.."

As she said, she choose some clothes and tied her hair in a pair of ponytails. She was wearing a shirt with a skull printed on it and some jeans, there was nothing better she could wear. When she went outside and felt the warm sun on her cheeks she felt a lot better but after all, she was still hungry. She decided to go look for someone she knows. As she was walking she heard a known voice behind her.

"Hey hu tao!"

When she turned she saw Yanfei - her ex girlfriend. Even after their relationship didn't work out they were still pretty good friends, at least they used to be until Hu tao got depressed and stopped leaving her small apartment.

"Oh hi Yanfei, long time no see, huh?"

Even tho she said it with smile Yanfei could tell she was feeling embarrassed and cloudy.

"Hey whats up? You seem down? Maybe you want me to help somehow?"

Somehow Hu tao didn't like those words. She hated getting help, she hated it so much she pushed Yanfei and started screaming.

"SHUT UP! WHY DO YOU CARE NOW?? I WAS STUCK WITH ALL THOSE DEBTS AND YOU KNEW IT DAMN WELL!! YOU CANT HELP NOW! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!"

After those words Yanfei just left. Hu tao felt a lot better after getting her emotions out finally. She was hiding how she felt for so long... It felt so good to finally make someone feel bad, afterall everything she said was true. Most of her friends knew about trouble she got in and no one even was here to support her. She was all alone. Deep inside she was hoping it wasn't true this whole time but she knew, she knew she was alone.

After wandering around Liyue for some time she realized how hungry she was, she wanted to go home when she remembered that there's no food - or to be more specific - instant noodles.

"Damn it, i have no money..."

She continued wandering around hoping she would find some abandoned food or at least some money to buy a piece of bread when she saw her.

Her light blue hair with horns, well build body, and her breasts. Big breast. Her hips looked amazing too, she could just imagine eating her pussy. She wanted to fuck her so badly, but she knew that this girl would never go out with someone like her.

She started following her everywhere she went and found some stuff about her. Her name is Ganyu and she was... Taken. Taken by lady Keying. She knew Keqing pretty well so she could get to her and talk to her.

The next day she headed to Keqings house just to found Ganyu sleeping on her couch.

"Oh hi Hu Tao is there anything i can help you with? Please come in! Dont mind my girlfriend sleeping on the couch.. she keeps overworking herself.. I will make some coffee.."

That was just PERFECT. She was all alone with girl of her dreams. Then she got some idea.

She picked up a wase Keqing had in her apartment and silently went to kitchen. She was very skilled and was able to attack Keqing from behind without her noticing anything. She was unconscious. Perfect.

After that she put asleep Keqing in her room, made sure she wouldn't wake up for next hours and went back to Ganyu. She slowly patted Ganyus head when she waked up.

"Who.. are you? Wheres Keqing?" Ganyu said.

"Im Keqings friend. She went out for some time. Youre so pretty you know?"

After those words Ganyu felt some weird feeling in her stomach. Was she falling and love? No she was sure it was something different. Her whole body was getting hot while looking into Hu taos eyes. After some time she realized it was lust. Hu tao was so in her type. But she didnt want to cheat on her girlfriend..

"Dont worry Keqing wont know"

After Hu tao said that words she felt surprised. How would she know? She couldn't even think about it when Hu tao started kissing her. She liked it a lot. Things started getting hotter they were both so horny and wanted eachother. They both got naked and Hu tao began to kiss Ganyus neck, it all felt amazing when Hu tao bit Ganyus neck. Her blood started scattering everywhere. That made Hu tao even more turned on. Ganyu died from bloodloss, but for Hu tao it was just prefect.

She started playing with Ganyus dead pussy. Then Hu tao got an idea. She took a deep breath in and put Ganyus horn inside her pussy.

"Mghnn~." She moaned as she started fucking herself with Ganyus horn.

It felt really really good. Hu tao kept playing with Ganyus body when she felt hungry again.

"Oh my lovely. Im so sorry but im so hungry.. we can't play anymoreee~."

After whispering this to a dead body's ear she went to a kitchen and came back with a big and sharp knife. She started to attempt to cut Ganyus body into little pieces. It was a hard work and pieces weren't as small as they were supposed to be. Hu tao chopped of Ganyus horn and put it on couch blue haired girl slept before she got here.

"oh my lovely... Time to make some food~"

She took out a large pot and started making some food out of her "lovely" girl. After some time she got tree portion of food done. She ate her food and then left Ganyus head and other parts of her body that didn't get made into the dish in Keqings fridge. Meat she prepared looked juicy and bloody, yet delicious.

As she left she put her clothes and took one of Ganyus horn she left before with her.

When Keqing finally woke up she went down stairs to see tree plates - one empty and two full.

When she got closer she saw a note:

"Hi Keqing, its me Ganyu. You fell on the floor while trying make coffee. I took care of you and took you into your room. Please enjoy this food Hu tao and I made for you! I cant eat mine now and i will be out or some hours. Eat your food while its still warm!!"

The handwriting was obviously not Ganyus but Keqing felt too tired to notice. She sat down and started to eat. The meat was delicious but she felt thirsty so she wanted to open the fridge to get some ice. When she opened the door Ganyus head without one horn fell out. Keqing throwed up. She called the police. When she found out she ate her own girlfriend she felt disgusted, but even more shocking was the fact they found Hu taos finger somewhere in the house. Of course they thought that Keqing was the criminal, not Hu tao.

Police made a theory that Keqing saw Ganyu cheat with Hu tao so she killed them both and cooked them. They also thought Keqing may have some kind of personality disorder. She got sent to a psychiatric hospital .

And Hu tao? She killed herself. With Ganyus horn in her hand.

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

-

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

[kazuhasmaid]

the miss and the bartender

diluc x fem!reader

word count: 1,145

genre: suggestive

warnings/side notes: diluc asking if you're crazy but it's actually you making HIM crazy. she/her pronouns, lowercase intended, not proofread i never do.

a/n; SVAJSHSK I WROTE THIS WAYYY BACK like 5 months back to when i didn't even have diluc yet, so ig this was like me pining for diluc and writing to manifest him, cause i literally got him right after this then c2 kaeya came too

you're a lady of mondstat, not too seen, not too invisible either. on a midnight walk, thirsty for something pleasurable you find yourself in nothing but your sleepwear that you couldn't afford to care about, not when you're on the verge of dehydration. you find yourself stumbling along the infamous tavern in which someone familiar may or may not be bartending tonight.

you open the door, and shut it close as the cold breeze stops, and into the warm aroma of people idling, chit-chatting, celebrating, and making business. you look around to see any familiar faces in which resulted in no one but a red-haired bartender calling out to you, and without much hesitation- you sat infront of the counter, offering a lazy smile to the richest bachelor of mondstat. "what a sight to be seen, let alone on the midnight of your most important day" he says, mixing drinks of what looks to be your unspoken order.

"can you blame me? i've ran out of water and i cant afford to knock on families house! not when mondstat provides us the breeze we need to set ourselves into such a deep sleep, no?" you say crossing your arms, looking at the back of the bartender. "i suppose not, but take a look around you, everyone you could ask for a beverage of water.. is here.. not unless another reason to go to the tavern which offers nothing but alcohol, miss?" he says, a glisten in his eyes slitting his eyes for a second as the yellow-tainted chandelier showers him in nothing but a bittersweet atmosphere, his eyes seeming more of a red dazed sunset and his red hair waved and tied into a higher ponytail in usual, his white-buttoned shirt under a well-tailored black vest,

his black gloves fitting a well too tightly around those hands of his. "huh.. correct me if i'm wrong sir, but do you not see that the tavern only has you and i in here?" you say as he slides the drink infront of you, picking the beverage and sloshing the ice cubes and straw. he scans the room in confusion in which just a moment ago where the venue was crowded.

" you chuckle, sliding the mora for the drink. "oh and if you don't mind, i'll be heading off now though, sir." you get up from your chair, your drink in your hand, waving with your other hand, turning on your heel. "i think not." - "excuse me?"- he sighs, "not when all the drunkards are loitering the streets right now. i must make it a duty to escort my-..well you of course, miss." he averts his eyes, you swear you see a faint blush on that stoic face of his.

"ah, i appreciate the gesture a lot, i will be taking your offer and will very much need to make up for this gesture, yes?" you laugh as he escorts you out of the tavern. in such a free place like mondstat there's no need to lock up the place, there's nothing much valuable to diluc in that tavern worth stolen, let alone when the offices of the knights or the dark knight himself can defend.

as you walk past the lantern-lit streets, still somehow ablaze and alive, you pick up a lamp grass on your way and slide a mora on flora's desk. turning to diluc, lighting his face with the plant, you say "this plant contradicts in you in so many ways but it still holds a memorable value when we first met, sir." you smirk, remembering when yourself, a defendless citizen made the darknight himself startled in the sight of you under the first white full moon of the year, collecting lamp grass as he often visited the location wondering who in tevyat dare to pluck them off than to leave them alone. "im not gonna deny it, but i still do visit the lamp grass gardens, reminiscing the time we met."- "no way, without me? i see how it is.." you pouted, impatiently to turn the corner to your house.

once you both made the corner into the alley of your house- you turned to the tall man, handing him the plant, tipping his chin down to plant a small yet sweet kiss on his lips. you smirk as he dazed off into your lips, and once awoken by reality- he scans the roads surrounding you two.

"what.. are you crazy.." he sighs while you laugh, "what? you really think i wont be able to scan this place myself before doing anything?" you replied. he rolls his eyes slightly, shaking his head as he stares down at you, glancing at your lips momentarily, he takes a deep breath taking in your appearance from the faint light in the distance. something about this situation seemed new and exciting for the bartender.

he places an arm next to your head onto the wall. your eyes flutter upwards, half-open in response, but bewildered of the monotoned man, and of course, as all missions fail, he leaned all too aggressively forgetting the drink in your hands, the beverage of the sweet grape juice spilling all its content beneath your sleepwear and tainting your jaw trailing down to your sleepwear. he shakes his head as you chuckle at the embarassed man, a thought clouds his mind. "the grape jui-" something cuts you off and its the actual fact that the man himself has his lips directly in contact with your jaw, placing wet kisses savoring the trail of his well-favorited beverage on his well-favorited woman or...lover, should i say. you tremble as he makes his way to your neck a smile from him tracing on your neck as he continues to be amused of your reaction.

deciding that its better to cut this off, you pull away, his eyes expressed confusion started to intimidate you,

unlocking the door and let yourself in, the man sighing to himself proceeding to walk away, but not when you got a hold of his sleeve and pull him in your house. he tilts his head towards you, "does this mean..." - "...you are quite dense to be the dark knight i suppose.." you remark. he makes his way towards you, his right hand locking the door behind him swiftly and placing his left around your waist, a kiss on your lips down to your neck once again determined that his actions say what he intends to do with you for the night.

bonus:

you: by the way, what was the whole "miss" thing about?

diluc: i sensed kaeya upstairs in the tavern, still wanting some information from me, to any i might be hiding, but not aware that i knew he was there.

you: ohhh i see..

diluc: hm, well who wanted to keep this relationship a secret again?

you: you did diluc, you did.

diluc:

diluc: oh. right.

©kazuhasmaid please do not copy, paste or repost.

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || THANK YOU FOR STAYING

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood, mention of injury, mention of death and grammar issues

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 18 january

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 1.6k

↳ request : AAAA YOUR FINALLY OPENN <3 um so for starters i was thinking abt the same scenario for the s/o, where the s/o was megumi’s gf. team tokyo was seeing your *dead* body lying on the ground, not knowing that your actually trying to use the reverse technique slowly. megumi felt he failed at protecting you, when you’re actually still alive but reviving. eventually he came to you, crying, and just kept saying “please dont leave me” “i cant afford to loose anything” “please”. IM SORRY IF ITS TOO SPECIFIC 😭😭 i really want some fluff+angst rn LMAOO. thankyou!! <33

↳ barista’s notes : hello hello hello ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ i had to remove a tiny bit of your request because it is a spoiler for non jujutsu kaisen manga readers ʕᴥ·　ʔ and don’t worry if you think you’re being too specific, i will try my best to make the perfect cup of  coffee for you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ but other than that, i hope you enjoy you cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you’re welcome back anytime!

“Y/N, wake up please”

However, no matter how desperate he sounded nor how loud he was. You were non-responsive.

The grass below your body was struggling to soak up all the blood that had been spilt from your unknown wound caused by the special grade curse that you were fighting against.

No one knew how the curse was able to get into the premises of the battlefield of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, let alone how it managed to get anywhere near Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. However, right now, all Fushiguro knew was that you were in critical condition as you continued to stay silent to his pleas.

“This ain’t some joke Y/N, wake up!” Fushiguro shouted in agony as he lifted your body into his arms, searching for any source of warmth from you that he was desperate to hold. Yet, you were just stone cold.

Frantic, Fushiguro began to search around your body to see if he could find the injury that was the final blow that you took, but there was no visible presence of one leading to the shikigami sorcerer’s anxiety to heighten as he began to wonder what really happened to you. What could have the special curse did that causes you to fall into a coma? A coma right? You were just in a coma? You weren’t dead? You couldn’t be dead?

“Megumi, she’s….Y/N is..” Maki began to stutter, afraid of the junior’s reaction to what she would have to announce as she began to reach out to him, leading Fushiguro to turn to look at her with tears welled up in his eyes which led Maki to look at him with widened eyes.

Never once she ever saw the green-eyed sorcerer have a single tear in his eyes as well as the rest of the sorcerers behind her as they stared at the situation that was happening right in front of them. On the other hand, they weren’t really surprised at the fact that you were the one that brought those same tears into his precious eyes. 

You were the first person to ever make them see Fushiguro smile.

Itadori remembered it as clear as day. It was when he had first met you at Harajuku around the same time when he first met Kugisaki. To his surprise that day, you weren’t the new student that they were meeting but rather a current student at the school he newly attended, it was just that you weren’t the one chosen to collect Sukuna’s finger at Sendai that day due to you having a mission of your own.

                                              ꕥ

“So, you’re the infamous student that ate Sukuna’s finger?” you commented, as you walked towards the two students who were waiting in front of the station Gojo has told you to meet everyone at - but to no shock or surprise from you, the said teacher was not there to greet you.

“Oh? Are you the new student we are waiting for?” Itaodori kindly asked, as he took another bite out of his ice popsicle leading to your boyfriend, who was standing next to the salmon-haired boy, to have a say in the newly started conversation.

“No, this is L/N Y/N, she’s a first-year student like us, she enrolled at the same time as me,” Fushiguro informed the boy leading you to kindly smile at him while holding up a peace sign to seem more friendly.

“I’m Itadori Yuji, I’m from Sendai,” Itadori greeted you as he pointed at himself, causing you to nod your head before asking both the boys where your extremely tall teacher was, only for them to shrug at you indicating they had no idea on where Gojo was at all.

‘He probably is buying snacks or something ha?’

“Now it ain’t just the two of us ha Megumi?” you playfully asked your boyfriend as you poked his cheek, leading him to send you a side glance only for a giggle to be your response. Although it was a small interaction, Itadori was able to instantly pick up on something that confused him slightly.

“L/N, why did you call Fushiguro by his first name and not his family one?” Itadori asked in curiosity as he wondered how you were really friendly with the usually grumpy sorcerer. Turning to look at your new classmate, you smiled at him and quickly answered by saying, “no reason really, he just allowed me to since we’re really good friends,”.

Knowing Fushiguro, you knew he probably didn’t want to reveal the fact that you and him were in a relationship to Itadori too early into his newfound friendship with him, so you decided that it was the best for now to tell your new classmate that you two were really good friends.

On the other hand, what you didn’t see was how Fushiguro was looking at you. The shikigami user really appreciated the fact that you weren’t the type to tell the whole world about the both of you since he was a person that thought that not everyone needed to know if he was in a relationship or not leading to a small smile to dawn his face with a hint of adoration in his eyes as he stared at you.

Which was caught by the sights of Itadori Yuji.

                                             ꕥ

However in his sights right now was not the same expression Fushiguro had that day. But how he wished it was. All Itadori could see right now was fear, desperation and regret in Fushiguro’s emerald eyes as he was holding onto your body like he was gripping the small amount of life that you could possibly have left in your body.

“Please don’t leave me,” Fushiguro muttered in a brittle tone, as he gently shook you, not giving up on the fact that you could have a chance of waking up. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your beautiful eyes. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your bright smile. Not giving up on the chance that he gets to see you alive.

“I’m sorry for not protecting you, please just wake up, I can’t lose you too,” Fushiguro begged as sorrowful tears began to lightly hit your cheeks with his throat slowly closing up leading to a slight struggle in breathing. Fushiguro slowly and regrettably came to the realisation that you were now gone, leading to a river of guilt that uncontrollably began to flow down to which caused the grade two sorcerer let out a pained scream as his friends from behind looked at the scene with a broken heart.

Gripping on to your body, Fushiguro held your body against his chest and his face was hidden in the crook of your head wanting to hold you for one last time before you were fully taken away from him.

“Hey….Mimi”

Now he was hallucinating. Fushiguro was now hearing your voice as if you were calling out to him. He couldn’t help but fully accept that fact that you were dead and there was no chance you could possibly be calling out his nickname that he hated so much but was so desperate to hear again if he could.

Suddenly to his shock, Fushiguro felt a light but tight grip on his school jacket leading him to slowly pull away with widening eyes to a hand on his jacket causing him to look up to notice your eyes slowly begin to open, showcasing the coloured orbs that the shikigami user was so desperate to see.

“Mimi….it’s really hard to….concentrate using reverse curse energy….when you’re tightly gripping on to me,” you slowly commented with a small smile on your face, to which then you slowly began to sit up only to fall back into his arms due to exhaustion of using a magnitude of your curse energy to heal the injury that the special curse managed to wound you with.

“Y/N!” everyone shouted, as they crouched down to have a clear view of what they were seeing. To their complete astonishment, you were fully awake with a smile on your face leading everyone’s hearts to fill with joy as they were relieved that you were here right in front of them alive and well.

Kugisaki couldn’t help but instantly let tears of complete joy flow down her cheeks as she launched herself on top of you, tightly hugging you close to her releasing all the agonising tension that she was holding in the second she saw your once lifeless body in Fushiguro’s arms.

Gently lifting up one of your arms to Kugisaki’s body to comfort her, you slowly turned your head to stare up at the pair of emerald eyes that were looking at you with such relief and radiance, leading to your other hand that was previously gripping his jacket to then be placed on his cheek as you used your thumb to caress it to help him slowly come back to reality.

To be honest, you could tell he needed it right now. At the beginning of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, you, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were utterly dumbfounded at the fact that Itadori was alive and well after 2 months of assuming that he was dead after Sukuna ripped out his heart and now you somehow you ‘came back alive’ after sustaining a serious injury of your neck being slashed - you knew seeing two people being revived was not what you saw every day.

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that,” you whispered to Fushiguro as you lightly brushed the remaining tears he had on his cheek leading to the stoic sorcerer to softly place his forehead against yours as he began to savour the warmth that he thought he had lost.

“Thank you,’ Fushiguro muttered as he closed his eye tightly, holding in the new coming tears that were threatening to flow down leading to your hand that was on his cheek to be now placed on the back of his neck as your fingers began to caress his hair to help calm him down even further.

“Thank you for staying”

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[pocketramblr]

Hiiiiiii, Pocket! For the ask game, I would love an AU where Doc Ock adopts Peter, please!

you spoil me, my love

- Ok so we're moving the timeline up, Spiderman 2 happens when Peter is 17, the paper on fusion is for a scholarship for college he desperately needs to afford it. Everything proceeds mostly as normal, Harry is barely 18 and pulling a Tim Drake, Spiderman is eating up Peter's time, and then he gets to go meet Dr. Octavius, who still immediately goes "wait this kid is neat and my wife would love him" and invites him to lunch with Rosie and to the demonstration.

- the demonstration, naturally, goes wrong. Ock's arms pull a horror movie and when he stumbles out to the marina to figure out what happens, he's convinced to turn to crime and do Whatever Is Needed to complete the experiment right this time. He remembers Peter questioning his calculations, and decides that as well as money and materials, he needs the kid to double check the work. And since they'll be hidden, there's no way Osborn or Pym or Spiderman could show up to sabotage them again!

- sorry, did you say 'adopt'? i heard 'kidnap'. He scoops up Peter who's like "?? Dr. Octavius?? what the hell??" and not reassured by being told he'll let him go once the experiment goes well. he's then chained up and told to start doing math while Ock goes and shakes down Harry for the resources. Harry is like "ok i'll do it for spiderman, peter knows where he is" and Ock is like "oh good thats handy, i already kidnapped him" and harry is like "wait what". he's starting to regret but no time for that, Ock leaves to go ask Peter where the spider is. He finds the calculations not done and Peter missing, escaped somehow.

- Ok, fine, Ock is smart. He can work with this. He goes to Peter's house (arms hidden) (no sunglasses) and talks with Aunt May, saying he's sponsoring Peter for a scholarship and needs to do some work with him today. Peter walks in and freaks out about his Aunt being held hostage, though she scolds him for being rude, and Ock is just like ":) dont worry my dear boy :) i'll be out of your hair as soon as you do the calculations :) by the way do you know where spiderman is?" so peter begrudgingly does the math, correctly as best he can, and then runs upstairs to suit up as soon as Ock leaves, thanking May but saying he cant stay longer for dinner. (No, May is not flirting. Otto's wife died like two days ago! May just thinks that after Ben and Norman, it's nice to see Peter having some guidance, she's perfectly willing to adopt him as another father figure for him.)

- Ock just doesn't die due to *handwaves* whatever reason not important. He does take back control from the arms a solid 70 percent of the time though, and he does keep crashing Peter's place trying to mentor him. (its as thanks for helping him.) Peter keeps trying to get him to leave, or adopt someone else. Adopt Harry, he needs the guidance! Otto makes a face at that suggestion, then just says he wants to keep an eye on the bright young man, see if he's using his gift, if he's making Rosie proud too.

[1a-imagines]

˗ˏˋ Show off ˎˊ˗

Characters: izuku midoriya

Overview: when he see how impressed you are with his stength, he cant help but show off more of his abilities. Its a shame he didn't realise what effect he was having on you.

Warnings: s m u t, begging, hair pulling. Its pretty vanilla.

A/n: This is my first time posting smut so please be gentle on my soul.

This ones for my hornee friends. You know who you are. :>

-------

"This is so exciting!" You happily bounced on the balls of your feet as you bubbled over with joy. Your boyfriend laughed at your reaction, he hadn't seen you this excited in so long, it made his heart melt, You're so adorable. If he didn't have so many boxes to move into your newly bought, shared home he'd love to pepper some kisses over your face.

"I know, I'm excited too. Even with all the heavy lifting we have to do today." He chuckled as he reached over to grab another box.

"Oh! Let me help you!" You moved towards him but he shook his head. "No it's ok honey, I got it but can you get the doors for me? He asked as he reached for yet another box. You would be lying if you said you weren't impressed, he was picking up those heavy boxes like they were nothing! You knew he was strong from his line of work, not to mention it showed in his muscles, yet it never failed to make you gush. You'd be seeing a lot more of it now you two will be moving in together.

You rushed over to hold the front door open for him, and as he passed you your jaw dropped. He was casually carrying 6 of the heaviest boxes you had packed like they were a couple of pillows. He placed them down and turned to find you staring with your jaw dropped open.

"What?" He suppressed a laugh at your expression, though he was genuinely confused as to why you were gawking at him.

"Y-you're really strong!" You squeaked. Izuku blink, taking a second to process before letting out a laugh. You had been dating for years and you had seen him working out more than once, yet it still seemed to impress you to no end. "Of course I am!! I am a hero after all."

You blushed, shyly rubbing your arm. You'd probably never get over how strong he was. You weren't a hero yourself, you weren't necessarily strong either, so of course it was bound to impress you! "I-I know but it's still impressive! I guess I just forget how strong you are sometimes."

Usually you were the one teasing him but this time you were the one left with a red face.

Sometimes you forgot how strong he was since he has such a cute face, even though he was much older now, he was no longer a school boy, but his cheeks were still a bit on the plump side, that mixed with his freckles- It was adorable! Somehow he pulled it off so well that they looked so soft and kissable yet he still had a defined jawline and it all went together so well. He was just so handsome-

"Honey? You're staring."

You froze up.

You wanted to hit your head against the door, it was so embarrassing! You've been caught ogling him again and you could see he was enjoying it from the smile on his face alone.

"Come on, let's get the rest of those boxes there'll be plenty of time to stare later." He passed you again, you couldn't believe he was teasing you about this!

You trudged behind him with a red face, making a mental note to get back at him later for this.

---

The night after you two had officially moved in was spent on the couch, your eyes barely open as you slowly fell asleep. You had spent the whole day unpacking and organising everything and it was safe to say that you were exhausted. Izuku seemed completely fine, despite doing most of the heavy work, then again, he had probably dealt with much more physically demanding days with his line of work.

Seeing him moving furniture around on his own, lifting heavy objects that would take the work of 3 people had really been a treat for you, though he caught you staring at him every single time and you could swear he was becoming smug about it.

You tried your best to focus on the movie but the dull lights from the TV screen combined with warmth from your boyfriend made it the perfect atmosphere to fall asleep in. You yawned as your eyes fell close and you felt izuku's hand rub up your side. "I think it's time for bed." He whispered as he looked down at you barely holding onto consciousness.

You really didn't want to have to move but falling asleep on the couch would be uncomfortable. You nodded and forced your body to push yourself up only to feel a hand go under your legs and another behind you back. You were lifted up.

Your eyes peaked open slightly, you were cradled against Izuku's chest, he was carrying you to bed. "Strong.." You muttered which earned a small laugh from your boyfriend. "I don't know how heavy you think you are but this of all things shouldn't be so impressive to you."

"I really weigh nothing to you huh?"

"Well, I can usually carry about 5-6 people in one go when rescuing. So no, you don't." He replied and even in your sleepy state you could hear the prideful tone in his voice as he spoke. If you weren't so sleepy right now you might have teased him for that. It almost sounded like he was trying to show off a little.. which was strangely out of character for him, and yet it was working on you.

You couldn't help but admire his strength, then again you admired a lot about him. He made you feel so lucky, lucky to be in love with someone so amazing and to have him love you back. It felt too good to be true.

He gently placed you onto the bed and pulled the covers up over you. Your face twisted into a frown at his missing warmth but he quickly crawled in next to you and encased you into his arms.

In your sleep induced state you didn't realise the way your hands were wandering around his muscles as you drifted off, leaving your boyfriend red faced.

It felt- nice… like you were admiring and almost worshiping him. He wasn't egotistical and he never thought to show off how strong he was to others, but when it was you? It felt so good.

He could feel himself slowly becoming addicted to how you reacted to his strength alone. The way you looked at him like he was the most amazing person in the world to you. He was ashamed to admit he wanted more, more of you giving him that look, more of seeing your red face when you got caught.

He looked down at your sleeping face, your hand still placed on his tone stomach, he smiled, butterflies filling his chest.

Maybe he should start showing off to you more often.

---

You were currently sitting on the couch with your laptop resting on your legs. You were catching up on some work as your boyfriend went around cleaning your newly shared home. You had offered to help him several times but he kept insisting it was fine and you should focus on your work.

Even when you lived together he played up to the gentleman role. It had only been a week and whenever he wasn't at work he was insisting on cooking and cleaning for you, though you mostly took care of those when he was on the job since your line of work was much less demanding than his.

You glanced up from the screen to see your boyfriend bent over, his plump ass in the air as he vacuumed under the tv stand. You pressed your lips together as you shamelessly started, why did he always have to wear shorts? They cupped him so well. He probably wasn't even aware of it either.

Something about living together now had helped you to notice anytime he'd bend over or wear something that would show off his muscles more often. You had tried not to be too much of a perv but- well it was kind of hard to control when you were constantly around your extremely good looking boyfriend.

You made sure to quickly avert your eyes once he stood back up so as to not be caught. You couldn't afford to keep going red faced around him, it was too embarrassing.

You played innocent as you focused on your work but you still had a smirk on your face from seeing the lovely sight. Luckily Izuku was too busy with cleaning to notice.

As he made his way around the room and got closer to you, you looked up and got ready to stand. "Oh, need me to move?" You asked as you assumed he'd want to get under the couch too. "No you're good!" He grinned in return.

"Wh- AAH!" You clutched onto the arm rest as he lifted up the couch with one arm. You didn't know what it was but a sudden fire lit in the pit of your stomach. Seeing him so effortlessly lift the couch, with you still on it. Was more than you could handle.

"So strong..." Like your stomach, your face began heating up and you failed to see the grin on Izuku's face at your words. He placed you and the couch back down and took a few seconds to admire the look on your face. It was so cute, it made him feel prideful that his girlfriend was gushing over him so much.

He felt almost guilty for doing this on purpose, for trying to show off to you.

"Are you ok, princess?" He asked with a tilt of his head. You looked up at him with a look of awe and admiration, it's not like he wasn't used to this from his fans. It always felt so nice to know people admired him, but when it was you who was admiring him, something about it felt so much better!

You reached over and tugged at his hand. "Yeah! I just want some cuddles." It wasn't a lie, seeing him do something so amazing like it was nothing made you want to admire him even more. "I still have cleaning-"

"Can you do it later?" You whipped out the puppy eyes and he gave in almost immediately.

"You know, I can't say no to that face." He sat down next to you and without a second to waste you were in his lap cuddling up to him. Your laptop and work were forgotten in an instant as you pressed sweet little kisses to his jaw and neck.

He did not expect his showing off to have this effect on you. He had been showing off in front of you any chance he got but this reaction was still surprising.

Were you pent up? It sure felt that way by how you were sloppily kissing his neck

Since you two hadn't been living together until recently you hadn't had the chance to see his strength in action except for on tv. But seeing it in person and seeing how casual it was for him to pick up such heavy objects or work out for hours and not break a sweat.

It was just too indulgent. How did you get so lucky?

You kept peppering kisses over his face which made him smile. He loved the attention, he wanted more of it too.

“Are you doing this on purpose?” you asked him.

“what do you mean?”

You pulled away from his jaw,your fingers tangled into his hair. You grabbed a fist full of his green locks and he knew what was going to happen. You pulled on his locks, his head tilting back as he let out a small breathy gasp. You knew it was one of his weaknesses. “Don't play coy with me hero~. I’m not dumb.”

"I-I just like the way you look at me." He admitted, his face flushing in embarrassment at the confession. It made you grin,

"Show off." He didn't dare deny your statement, he knew it was true.

You muttered before leaning down to his neck, you let your hot breath linger on his skin, but did not dare to place your lips there until you heard him let out a needy whine.

You could tell by the way his hands squeezed at your hips that he was getting impatient. You began to press light kisses on his skin, slowly making your way around to the crook of his neck. When you pressed a kiss to a certain area you felt him shiver and you knew this was the place to give him a nice bite. You didn't bite him too hard, just enough to leave a mark.

In return he pulled your hips forward to meet his own. The sheer force of it alone told you he was begging for more. "Please, don't tease me."

"You mean like how you've been teasing me all this time?" You heard him gulp. "Count this as revenge." You licked a strip up to his ear so you could whisper to him. "But I also want to worship you, that's what you were after right? Well you win, honey." You felt him shiver beneath you and you knew he was putty in your hands.

His fingers dug into your hips, forcing your shirt up a bit. You moved down to his neck and began to attack that sweet spot you were all too familiar with. Sucking, licking and biting, yet never being too rough about it. You were here to worship his body, not hurt him. You didn't even have to rock your hips as his hands began to guide your hips for you. It was a sign of desperation as he pulled you to grind against his growing bulge. You could feel him throbbing beneath you as his hips buckled, you didn't bother to stop him. It felt so good.

"Aah.. Kiss.." he muttered breathlessly, you moved up to face him, your nose brushing against his skin. You stared down at him with half lidded eyes. "Making demands now huh?" You questioned and he shook his head. "Please?" He added. What a good boy.

Your hands grabbed at his hair and pulled his head towards you, Your lips meeting in desperation, he whined and moaned as your hips grinded against his hard, throbbing cock. He melted into the couch, his breathy moans mixed with yours as he sloppily made out with you, saliva dribbling down your chin. His hands desperately ran around your body, desperate to feel your bare skin, they grabbed at whatever they could, groping your thighs and ass before roaming up to your shirt.

His hands fumbled to take your shirt off but you grabbed his hands before he could and pulled them away. "I don't think so. Not yet."

You hooked your finger under his shirt and he knew what you were telling him to do. He obediently pulled it off and your eyes scanned over him, he could see the love you held for him in them. The way they practically worshiped all his muscles. He loved it.

Your hands ran down his chest to the hem of his shorts. "God, you're so handsome."

You saw his lips curl up as he rested his head on the back on the couch, his chest rising and falling to the beat of his erratic heart, you pressed kisses to his nipples, your padded tongue poked out to lick them, he whimpered, shivering under you.

"You're being such a good boy today. I think you deserve more." You ran your hand through his hair, giving him one last kiss as you yanked his shorts down, his cock sprung out, already slick with precum.

"You're not even wearing underwear?" He really had been trying to catch your attention today. You smirked.

You hopped off his lap and pulled his shorts all the way off so you could open his legs and situate yourself between them. His hands were already on your shoulders in anticipation. He was so needy and he didn't even have to say it, his actions said it all. You smiled at the way precum had already dribbled down the head.

You grabbed the base with your hand and used the pad of your tongue to lap it up, earning some a moan in return. The salty taste hit your tongue and you swallowed it. His hands squeezed your shoulders as your hot breath hit his exposed skin.

Izuku brushed hair from your face so it wouldn't be in your way, he was always so thoughtful, even now.

You tauntingly took the head into your mouth, making sure to look up at him through your lashes so you could see his reaction. His eyes had already slipped close in bliss, his eyebrows scrunched together. You could feel his hips twitch beneath you. You hummed against him, sending vibrations down his length, more greedy whines slipped from his lip and his grip on your tightened.He was always so sensitive, but you liked that about him.

You began moving your head up and down his shaft, slowly, his hands wove into your hair. It didn't take long for him to start grinding his hips up into your mouth. He couldn't help it, he was desperate for more. You didn't stop him, how could you when he was making such beautiful noises. His face scrunched up as those desperate whines and whimpers got louder.

"A-ah fuck. Faster princess, please go faster!" He begged and you quickened your pace, your padded tongue rubbing him in all the right spots as your hand worked the places your mouth couldn't reach. Saliva dripped from your mouth as you hollow your cheeks. He tried not to thrust up too hard into your mouth but the pleasure was just too much. He heard you gag as the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat and was about to apologise until he heard you moaned again.

"Princess, ah~ i'm going to cum. Mmh~" he pleaded and you pulled back, your hand pumping his slick cock, as more precum began to dribble out of the head.

You replied, "Don't worry baby, go ahead. Cum for me." You reassured him, taking the time to admire the way his lips parted as his hips thrusted up into your hand. His thighs tensed up, toe curling by your knees as he panted, desperately moaning out your name. You could see he was close.

You hand quicked, your thumb teasing his head as the other hand fondled his balls. You pressed kisses to his thigh, licking and nipping at his skin.

"Cum for me hero~" you whispered, his toes curling as he released a loud, drawn out moan. His large palms held onto your shoulders for dear life as his back arched, his toes digging into the floor as he cried out. His hot cum spilled over your chest.

"..ah...baby," he panted. "Did i make a mess again?" He asked, his eyes closed as he came down from his high. You hopped back up onto his lap. Even just having him pressed against you made your heat rise. his cock was still throbbing from the pleasure.

"Why don't you take a look?" You pulled the arm that was covering his eyes away and his lips parted at the sight of your chest covered in his cum.

"We're not done just yet." You rocked your hips forward and he gasped, his sensitivity was doubled since he had just orgasmed.

You slowly began to strip in front of him, not missing the way his big eyes greedily took you in, but you could still see the admiration in them. when your breasts spring free from your bra his lips immediately attached to them. As if he had been waiting to taste them all this time.

You slowly began to rock your pussy against his cock. All the way up, and back down. You felt your wetness smearing all over him and it drove him wild. "o-oh angel~ mmh~" he moaned, feeling your slickness rubbing all over his cock turned him on even more.

He was getting hard again.

You felt Izuku slip down between your legs as you knelt over him. You raised an eyebrow as he pulled your knees to rest by his head. “what are you doing? this is supposed to be about you.”

“Well I want to hear you cry out too.” he smiled up at you and you felt his tongue lick all the way up your clit. You hummed, your hand going back to his hair to pet him. He kisses the folds of your clit,  lapping up all your juices, he moans at the taste before moving down, his tongue prodding at your hole, his nose buried between your walls as he pushed his wet muscle inside of you.

You moaned, lowering yourself onto his face more so his tongue could sink deeper into you. You could hear Izuku's muffled moaning between wet, sloppy noises. He exhaled through his nose as his tongue thrusted into you. His hands moved up from your thighs and massaged your ass cheeks, you felt him pushing you close to him, edging you to fuck his face.

You began to grind your hips down, moaning louder as his tongue swirled around you. “ah- fuck. izu~” he exhaled, hearing you cry out his name spurred him on even more. His kisses got sloppier, his tongue moved faster, writhing inside of you, one of his hands moved around to your clit, his thumb vigorously rubbing at your folds. He wanted you to cum onto his tongue, to taste all of you.

Your thighs clenched around his head and your hand pulling at his hair. He whimpered under you as you grinded against his lips, he found it hard to breath, being smothered between the folds of your wet pussy, but somehow the lack of air only made it more pleasurable. His head was spinning and, absentmindedly, one hand left your body so he could start to rub at his cock, slowly pumping his hand up and down his length at the sounds of your slutty moans. Your hips moved faster,  but when you felt yourself getting close to cumming, so you pulled him off.

He had a mix of saliva and precum all around his lips and cheeks, his hair was messier than usual. His eyes were half lidded from pleasure, his hand still rubbing himself. He was a beautiful, sloppy, mess.

You heard him gasping for breath, “wh-what are you doing, I want you to-”

“Shh, don't worry baby, i’m going to take it from here.”

He sat back up and you hovered over his cock, the tip rubbed against your slick hole, you could feel he was leaking precum again. you gave him a few firm strokes before looking down at him with a smirk. He knew what you wanted, you wanted him to beg for it. Beg to fill you up. So like the obedient puppy he was, he gave into you. "P-please princess! I need you, please- i want you to ride me until I cum inside you. Don't make me wait any longer. Please- aah!!."

You sat down on him before he could finish, letting out a sigh of pleasure as izuku threw his head back. "You fill me up so well don't you baby?" You brushed back hair from his flushed, scrunched up face. He nodded obediently, unable to speak as he panted and whimpered at the feeling of his cock buried deep in your hot walls, taking him all in one go. His hands massaged your breasts as he pressed kisses to skin.

Your hands went to the back of the couch to give yourself some leverage as you lifted yourself back up until only the tip was left in. You watched his face contort into one of impatience. He whined, desperate to have you slam down on him. His hands went to your hips, and slowly pulled you back down.

You began your steady pace, rocking your hips up and down. The sound of wet, slapping skin echoed through your new home. Izuku squirmed under you, his hands digging into your hips as he slowly helped you up and down. His hips thrusted up. burying his cock deeper inside of you and you let out a gasp, your back arching.

You picked up the pace, slamming down on him harder, which in turn made izuku moan louder. You felt the fire in the pit of your stomach building up. You were right above his face so you were able to see all the expression of pleasure he was pulling. He even puckered his lips a few times as a way of asking for kisses, to which you gave him every time. His moans muffled against your mouth as his tongue desperately tried to taste you.

"Y/n- mnh- f-faster please! I need to cum. I want to cum so badly." He whined when he pulled back from the kiss, you felt his cock twitch from deep inside you as it abused that same spot over and over again. You watched as his tongue rolled out of his mouth, he was panting and whining greedily. You lifted one of your legs up and placed your foot on the couch beside him. Changing the position so you could pick up the pace.

Your thrusts got harder, faster, leaving your boyfriend and squirming, moaning mess under you. He begged for more for you to go faster. He wanted to fill you full of his cum.

You saw his hand come up to yours, slipping underneath so he could hold it, he needed to hold onto you as the intense heat kept building up. He knew he was going to come undone soon.

As you quickened your pace you could see him losing it more and more. "Fuck- ah. Izu~ right there." you moaned, squeezing his hand as your walls tensed up around him.

His cock was hitting all the right places. Sweat began to build up on your skin, your breasts bouncing with each thrust of your hips. His back arched and you knew he was getting close too. You could feel his thighs twitching and he buried his face into your neck.

"I love you so much. So so much." He could barely speak through his moans. His other hand grabbed onto your thigh as you rode him as fast as your hips could manage.

You watched as his head rolled back, his eyes wide as his fingers dug into your hips. He clenched his teeth tightly as a wave of pleasure washed over him.

He held you close as you orgasmed together. You rode him through the orgasm, moaning loudly as your legs shook at the intense amount of pleasure.

Hot ropes of cum spilled out inside of you, filling you up and once you came to a stop you pulled off of him, his seed spilling out of you and dripping down your thighs onto his stomach.

You collapsed onto his chest. He sweetly rubbed your hips, light traces from his fingertips trailed across his skin as you cuddled on the couch. His hands gently brushing through your now messy hair like you were the most delicate person in the world. You stayed that way for a while, pressing gentle kisses to each other's bare skin, holding each other close.

"We should really get cleaned up now." He said and you hummed in reply yet made no movement to get off him.

He playfully smiled at your lack of movements and with one swoop he pulled you into his arms and picked you up. Carrying you bridal style to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

He met your eyes, leaning down to press his forehead against yours.

"It's your turn now."

Tag list:

@birds-have-teeth @midnightmoonkiss @xxangelpridexx @sapid-rose @my-bnha-things

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 2 (#10-#1)

And we’re back.. The first part is HERE, which includes the first 10 and my thoughts on this past year in animation, so we can cut the long intro and get right into it. This is the best episodes this year had to offer in animation, and it’s , without meaning to, at least a third bojack horseman. On with the show. 

10. I Am My Monster (Steven Universe Future)  “We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven. He's always been there for us, so... how can we be there for him now?“ Oddly “The Future”, a finale I did really truly enjoy.. is not on this list. Really good episode, it’s just Future was easily one of Steven Univereses best season, tightining up the pacing without loosing what made the series feel special and really digging into some of more unhealthy aspects of steven’s life. And while the future is good and certanily the needed epilogue.. this episode is the climax, the cumilation of EVERYTHING Steven had done and gone though and something fans sadly saw coming and just had to simply watch, unable to help as Steven slowly lost himself. Previously on this list we saw him hit rock bottom and it only got worse: He went to home world, attacked white diamond due to his pent up trauma and once again ingored attempts to help him, this time from the diamonds and spinle, angrily refusing to listen to his own words she she sang Change at him.  This only got worse in the briliant and sadly edged out of the list “Everything’s Fine’ A really damn painful episode where steven tries to assert he’s okay and act normal.. only he cant and he destroys everything around him, and even repeats pearl’s text trick from a single pale rose with a pained voice message to connie saying to help steven. But the pressure of the LONG overdue intervension and the fact it came too late.. means steven confsses his recent sins.. and instead of taking them for twhat they are, spur of the moment acts caused by a toxic influence and a fuckload of ptsd and unreseovled issues with white that while certanly not okay are symptoms of a larger issues takes it to mean “Im a fraud”.. and thus he horriingly corurpts.  So here we are as Greg, Connie and the main gems all gap ein horor as Steven has corrputed himself, reduced to a monster whose not even malcious just.. sad.. so full of self loathing he can’t function and at risk of STAYING like that. And the relization hits hard.. and hits everyone who joins in hard. The auxilery crystal gems soon join but attempts from both groups to stop Steven do nothing. The diamonds arrive.. and not only are saddneed by what htey’ve doned but equally powerfless to stop him.  Everyone breaks down, blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner and for speding YEARS piling their issue on the kids, everyone ready to give up as they loose the person they care about most.. except one. Connie proves to be the hero of the episode, rallying the others with the above, pointing out Steven would happily help them if he could.. and that’s the problem. He’s spent his whole life fixing other peoples problems and focusing on that.. but never had someone to be HIS Steven. Fighting him’s not going to work.. he needs to know he’s loved... in the end the final battle of the series is not some struggle of life and death.. but of love. What wins the day isn’t a fight, though our heroes various powers do come in hand to restrain steven.. but it’s all of them, one by one telling them they love him in easily the most tearjerking moment of the series, cumilating in connie softly playing a kiss on his nose... and it’s this that FIANLLY frees steven from his self made prison.. finally realizing h’es not alone and that no matter who or what he becomes.. his family loves and forgives him. While we REALLY needed the next episode to wrap things up after this swell of emtitions. this was the climax the series desrved: after spending 6 seasons trying to help everyone ELSE and fix their issues he never should’ve had to.. it’s eveyrone else who gladly pitches in to fix steven’s own issues, to help HIM when he’s at his lowest point like they’ve been, and make it so he can FINALLY heal and finally find himself once and for all. IT’s one of the finest episodes of the series and easily the best of future. 

9. The Perfect House (Close Enough)  “I’m this close to connecting garfield, TO JESUS”  This one’s just really funny, charming and creative. Simple as that.. I could move on but eh i’m a wordy bastard. Once again we’re focused on Emily, this time as we find out an endearing hobby of hers: She likes visiting open houses and fantasizing about affording a better place she likely never will afford, one with trash can nooks, a kitchen and a living room that are fully seperate, and indivudal bins for tea and sugar... and when it’s pointed out she dosen’t drink tea it’s only because she has nowhere to put it.  But after Josh and Candace get them thrown out, if adorably so, Emily is forced to face reality... i.e. Alex, in one of the series finest gags, in his underwear with conspiracy boards trying to connect garifled to jesus and having a jug of his urine around for some reason. Did I mention I love this weirdo because I do. Brigette is painting in the ktichen.. using her body as the canvas, though in a bikini because the show wasn’t streaming only yet. You’ll have to wait a season for possible boobs. Naturally this just stresses her out so she goes to visit more houses while Josh vows to buy a family bike, a large circular bike for the whole family, as an activity because of course he does and of COURSE he also has a recurring issue of being mocked by some random kid about not having one. 

So she escapes and meets dave and caitlin, a husband whose family life is miserable and a child star who got emanicapted and they quickly form a psuedo family to look at open houses.. only to, as if to remind you what show your watching, instead end up in a tgif sitcom... and trapped in a styigian void, with only Emily desperate to get out. Also she’s been missing three days and Josh has some thoughts on that and goes after her.  Naturally given she’s crashing in on her fake sitcom family, this oly has him seen as a plot element, and Emily’s attempt at cursing and everything she can , while hilarious fail.. but the climax is what makes the episode and what inches it slighlty above quack pack.. which itself was fucking awesome. Instead of FIGHTING the format... Emily is forced to play into it, and realizes a cheesy moment of emtional honesty is what’s needed. She apologizes to her fake family, saying their nice but she has to face the world and to josh and much like Donald, seroiusly this episode was made years ago and there’s no way in hell frank knew about it, she just needed an escape but it’s more healthy: instead of wishing for a life she never had Emily just wants a break from the life she does for five minutes. She’s happy where she is, with her loving husband, wonderful daughter, impulsive but still carring best friend.. and well okay maybe not Alex, there’s somethihng really wrong with him, but as much as I love the guy I admit he’s not for everyone. I’m also a borderline feral man covered in hair who wants people to know i’m smart. I get him. 

IT’s this that sets her free.. and we get another amazing gag as Dave’s family shows up and Dave chooses the fantasy.. though instead of this being thorughly pogiant it’s just “classic dave”. COmplete with title sequence. And of course it ends on a family bike with Emily getting those tins from Josh. Their relationship.. is REALLY what makes both this show and this episode in paticular work. Here while Emily screws up, it STARTS innocently enough, simply faking being a family and spirals into tgif because while this show isn’t, possibly, in the regular show cinematic universe, it’s defintely in the same multiverse. She just wants some peace of mind from a chaotic life, but dosen’t resent her husband or anything.. he just frustrates her sometimes which is fair. But he’s never portrayed as an abusive asshat which you think would be a low bar to clear but.. you’d be suprised. Point is it’s a wonderfully weird and somehow still unique despite being one of three tgif parodies this year. Seriously that shit is a goldmine. It’s how Dashieel Driscoll got half a season out of full house and a good chunk of a very special epsiode as a whole out of it. Though a certain incident helped. 

Point is good show, jolly good show... and ew’ll be right back with the rest afte the cut

8. Agony of a Witch/Old Bodies, Young Souls (The Owl House) “You always thought you were better than me! That I could never Beat you at anything! “  “I AM Better than you!” “Then WHY WERE YOU SO EASY TO CURSE?!”  The Owl House was a show I took WAY too long to catch up on after missing the second half of season 2.. minus Enchanting Grom Fright which I caught first run and we’ll get to that story shortly. Point is my procastnation did me dirty here as this show , which was already fantastic just got better and better, cumulating in this epic, heartdestroying, soul punching, beautifully animated finale that takes everything the show has built up thus far, blows it up in some places and uses it to beautifully end in others, leaving us with a new road for the future.  So yeah naturally it’s been a long ride as one of Owl House’s strength.. is that no episode is filler. No really, each one has a purpose great or small in the larger narrative, and every major arc has been expertly paced and crafted, bringing us to this point. The only major arc or plot thread left out is Amity, and that’s honestly for the better. Make NO mistake, she’s a great character.. but like fellow great Donald Duck, she was left out because the episode had a LOT of emotional stuff going on, a lot of plot to fit in, and a lot to do and it’s simply better for her character and for the moment’s she’s bound to have in response to well.. everything happening here, to let it breathe next season rather than try to shove it into an already stuffed two episodes.  But this episode is one long string of payoffs, and payoffs creating more setups: So all season Eda, our loveable witch, has been grappling with a curse that turns her into an owl beast, one that’s been getting worse as far back as the mid season finale Escape from the Palisman. She’s been needing more and more elixer to combat it, a harrowing parallel to some real world diseases: Sometimes your meds can only DO so much to combat something actively killing you.. thankfully this time.. not speaking from personal experince.  And Luz finds out soon into the episode as Eda makes a cloak of witches wool, which can deflect powerful spells, to protect herself.. only to black out and go owl just as she’s saying she’s fine. Like most parents would Eda hid just how bad things have gotten and it’s gone from needing just one bottle of elixer to needing their entire suply, and even that barely worked. Despite her mentor’s assurances, Luz is now PAINFULLY aware her mentor is on borrowoed time... not helped by the fact the coven attacked earlier that morning and she finds out by finding hooty playing tea party with them, meaning Eda is outgunned, outmanned and while Lilith failed, again.. the emperor can now easily find her himself and send whoever he wnats and however many people he wants to fetch her.. and Eda can’t use too much of her magic or else.  So while Eda and King, touched by how much Luz has changed them, decide to throw a suprise party with King making a big cake to jump out of and Eda using witches wool she intended for herself to make her a cape. Meanwhile as you’d expect Luz.. is plotting a dangerous and life threatning mission: with a field trip to the Emperor’s Coven that day, one she was going to sit out because you know they hate her second mom for dogmatic and vile reasons the episode fleshes out, she finds out they have an artifact called the healing hat that can seemingly heal anything.  So she does what Luz does and comes up with an impulsive plan to heist the thing.. but for once her impuslivness isn’t played for laughs. Her mother figure is slowly sucumbing to a fate worse than death, for once instead of just acting rashly because Luz.. she’s doing so because she KNOWS, that she has no other choice. Nothing else in sight and she’s smart enough to know that if Eda had a cure she’d of told Luz about it. Even if it was dangerous or required a sacrifice or something Eda would’ve just left that part out.  But the trip serves a few other purposes besides getting Luz where she needs to be for the plot that makes it work: it elaborates on just what the emperor’s coven is like and WHY Emperor Belos gets away with everything: He claims to speak for the titan,  the giant dead monster whose body makes up the boiling isles and who, as Luz has discovered, is the source of the magic there. So when he bloodily, I mean it’ sa kid show so they dont’ say so but given how violent this one is i’m asssuming bloody, took power, he claimed they were doing magic wrong, killed any hertiics and set up the rigid coven system. It explains just WHY the boiling isles limits themselves, gives the whole thing a creepy dogmatic religion vibe.. something that i’m REALLY suprised disney let them get away with as they had to fight for gays in the series.. but at the same time shouldn’t be because hunchback of notre dame exists and Soul , released the same year, was a big gamble against the bible belt. So their not afriad of religious groups.. but they ARE afraid of homophobic groups.. which have a lot of overlap. 

Point is it’s a good storytelling device.. and cathartic given i’ve been playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses as I finally bought it with some christmas money. Good game, probably will talk about it in the future, not the point here. 

The point is that the visit gives us some worldbuilding that helps show just how much of a threat the coven is and why their so intent on capturing Eda. We also finally meet belos, god emperor and man tired of Lillith’s shit and giving her till twilight to get Eda.. or presumibly die. I mean he dosen’t say it but he sure is implying it as loud as he can.  That’s when things go pear shaped for Luz who finds the hat.. and LIlith who has found her barganing chip to lure Eda to her, which works as well as you’d expect and leads to the best figh tin the series thus far and one of , if not it’s best scene; A duel between edith and lilith. And while they fought back in Covention this time  it’s not a petty squabble between siblings masquerading as one trying to capture the other.. it’s  fight NEITHER can afford to loose. Eda can’t loose her protege and Lilith will loose everything, dying at best being cast out of the coven at worst, if she fails not to mention loosing what she feels is her only chance at saving her sister.  But it’s also VERY clear Lilith is groosly outmatched, and while no slouch herself Eda’s constant bragging about being “the most powerful witch on the boiling isles”.. is entirely backed up. Lilith barely is able to hold herself and only gets ahead by using a child as a shiled, going even lower than her sister. However the stress of this, the build of having been the older sister of someone who constantly outshined her then turned entirely against her, finally causes lilith to snap.. and reveal the curse is her fault. Cissy Jones delivery here.. is jsut perfect, showing a mixture of rage and pain, showing that she’s spent YEARS hiding this, years resenting her sister for constnatly being better desptie working harder and doing the right thigns. Even when she’s trying to HELP Eda, genuinely trying to undo her mistake as we find out and as we’ve seen genuinely sees the emperor as the wise and benevlolent god he portrays himself as.. she can’t let it go. SHe can’t see past her own bitterness to see her sister is right and if she could just let this go and work on Eda’s terms instead of forcing Eda into her world, then maybe it wouldn’t of gotten this bad. Maybe she could’ve told her. 

Eda takes it about as well as you’d expect, and Lilith.. uses this to threaten luz’s life and force eda to use up her magic to save her, leading to the series most heartbreaking moment and Wendy Mallick’s best acting so far as she bids her appretnince a tearful farewell. Luz RIGHTFULLY and angrily lashes out at lilith calling her a monster while Lilith takes Eda and urges luz to go home... and after a tearful ending with king realizing something’s deeply wrong.

So thus next episode after a history lesson from king and some suprisinging caution as he KNOWS what Luz is up against.. Luz still decides she dosne’t care. Eda’s sacrificed herself, to Luz it’s her fault she’s in this which while KINDA accurate missues some fine points such as her sister’s stubborness or the fact had lilith not shown up she could’ve taken the hat. And the fact LIlith saying the hat was junk was pretty unreliable. What i’m saying is maybe the child shoudln’t blame herself for being kidnapped while genuinely tring to reach the same goal. 

But Lilith soon learns to her horror her sister was right. While Belos restores Eda’ss sentience even fully owled.. he has no intrest in helping her, eveyr intrest in publicly petrifying her, and not even the slightest hint of remorse at betraying lilith this deeply. After all her faith in the man.. Belos spat in her face and told her to like it.  Meanwhile Luz goes on the warpath, and we see just how far she’s come.. and WHY Belos is probably so restrictive with magic and put it on such a tight leash: we see that with her natural power and just a handful of spells, the four she’s pciked up over the season, she easily curbstomps the conformotrium staff, gets to Eda fairly easily.. and fines sshe can’t free her and eda wants the door destroyed so whatever Belos wants with it, he can’t have it. Luz heads home, ready to destroy the door.. onlyt of ind two things. her magic dosen’t work there.. and Lilith followed her and grabbed king. After a breif fight and Luz angrily and rightously confroting the asshole, wish she was in Eda’s place.. Lilith admits luz’s right and gives her backstory: That her insecurity was so great that on the day before a duel with Eda to determine who got into the emperoror’s coven, she curfsed her own sister, with no idea it’d last this long or get this bad. And with no idea Eda had lost intrest in it and WILLINGLY gave her sister teh spot.. It’s very clear despite her masssive flaws that will need to be adressed.. lilith never stopped caring about her sister, and it took all this to make her realize that trying to fix the mistake on HER terms without including her sister.. instead has almost cost her it.  So Luz and King relucntnatly take her help, though the other two are quickly capatured when theyt ry to get to hte exceution platform and thrown in the cage with Eda.. which dosne’t help the coven’s reputation as gus and willow try to make a case for Eda. Meanwhile we get the SECOND best fight of the series as Luz challenges Bellows.. and it’s UTTERLY chillling and while he’s had scenes before this it’s here we get the true scope of who he is ..and that like eda the god complex is something he can back up. Whlie Luz proves just how strong she’s gotten by keeping up with him it’s barely, and it’s clear from the moment go, and one of the series best shots, with Belos creeply materlizing behind her before announcing “sure, i’ll play” that this is a game. She’s no challenge to him and he simply wants to see waht she can do and is mildly impressed if a tad annoyed at her actually damaging his mask. But with Eda, King and Lilith’s lives in the ballance the only way Luz can save htem.. is to give him waht he wants. 

Thing is, just like Lilith, just like everyone has, good an dbad all season.... Belos undereesitmated luz.. who left fire runes on the door, willnig to sacrifice ever seeing her mom again if it meant keeping him away from her. While he has no invasion planned whatever it is CANNOT be good. Luz saves them, and Eda flies them off with Belos saying the titan dismissed them. Also that Belos has a big penis.. super huge, size of a tractor that one. Yeah that’s the ticket. 

But we get  a happyish ending as LIlith does what she should’ve done a long time ago and apologizes, and Eda starts to fogive her, brought on by King earlier standing up to her as whle he’s not happy with her either, he realizes from her story she’s not a bad person.. just a very messed up one who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. One who belivied in the wrong person to fix her problem and finally takes repsonsiblity and part of the curse into her. So with the sequel hook of Eda having lost her internal magic power but still being able to use glyph’s like luz, we also find out the Emperor has the door and a mysterious masked minon,.. who i’m fairly certain isn’t amity only because it’s too obvious. This is simply how you end a season: It’s engaging, heartbreaking, well animated and pays off EVEYRHTING so far while setting up the season to come. It’s going to be a LONG wait till next time, mid-this year.. but I can wait. The high from this one’s going to last a while. 

7. Good Damage (Bojack Horseman)  “ That means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?! “

Bojack Horseman is one of the best shows of the last decade, and an important one to me. it was the first one I watched when we switched to all streaming. I really related to Bojack and his struggles with depresion and self loathing.. which backfired given he’s a much worse person than me and while I could relate, I also compared myself too much to a character who in retrospect is both far worse  and has FAR MORE issues than I do and diffrent ones at that outside of the depression and self hatred.  The point i’m framing is that the series and I have a complicated relationship and that coupled with how bad 2020 was meant it took until a few days ago to finally finish it, almost a year later. But I cannot deny how good the show is: it has faults, a bit of reptititon in some character arcs, casting a white woman as a Vietnamize-American woman (something both Ralph Paul Waskerberg and Alison Brie have apologized for to their credit), and .. I can’t think of a last one. They never brought Ralph back? Yeah let’s go with that one what the fuck there. So I felt I owed the show one last round and it payed off as the final stretch, while easily the hardest to get through due to covering the collapse of Bojack’s life, is easily one of it’s best. 

But before the fall, we get Good Damage, which instead of focusing on BoJack focuses on Diane, said asian woman voiced by a white lady, neurotic writer and Bojack’s best friend, who has moved to Chicago to be with her boyfriend guy, a chill, charasmatic and likeable buffalo cameraman. Things are going better than they ever have: she’s in a supportive relationship and thanks to her antidipresenants, while still her loveably neurotic self, is now not obessing over shit as much and is solving her problems with applomb. Even the weight gain from her meds, which she dreaded in the previous half of the season.. has insteead only made her look healthier and happier, and more beautiful than ever. 

The only problem is she can’t write her long promised Memoir, which Princess Carlolyn, her former boss, agent and loveable pink cat and single mother, has promised to a lot of celebrities. She TRIES, she puts lots of work into it, keeps trying to sit there but nothing comes out. And what makes the episode truly great is how this is presented. Bojack is no stranger to beautiful, visually diverse episodes, Stupid Peace of Shit being a notable example and one similar to this one but uniquely great in it’s own way, but this one is easly the bes,t using a squiggly crude style to show just how chaotic and uncomfortable diane is and how stuck she is. She’s TRYING, but she just can’t make her life’s story into anything GOOD, she can’t get the words out which as someone whose had reams of projects I never startd, even to this day and who has genuine trouble writing fiction.... I related to this like all hell. But even people who have never had an intrest in writng can just get the feeling thanks to the wonderful writing and animation, from cameos by the rest of the cast to Diane’s father showing up as a goblin to the word boxes showing what she’s writtne it’s just a treat.  But what centers this amazing visual represtnation is Diane’s internal struggles as an encounter with a rude sales person leads her off on a tangent..and to Ivy Tran, a teen detective whose upbeat, optimstic, and in a great bit outlines who she is in jsut the right amount, and solves mysteries in a food court. It’s a genuinely good idea, one I honestly think could support it’s own series... seriously get on that Ralph-Bob. Get on that. Point is it’s good.. but Diane’s so hung up on what she SHOULD be making, she can’t see what’s right in front of her, despite guy saying the passages are good.  Things come to a head when Diane makes a huge mistake and goes off her meds.. which from experince never ends well: for the entire episode she’s been under the impression she can’t write because of them.. only to be proven HORRIFYINGLY wrong. It’s a  VERY necessary aseop: that your medication will always be with you and that going off it suddenly, or blaming it for writers block not only isn’t true but is DANGEROUS. Diane spirals, cries and her writing gets dark and full of self hate. It’s then Guy proves just how fucking majestic he is: he figures out what’s going on after she tells him, and helps her get to bed so she can rest, puke whatever she needs and they’ll talk about things after she takes her meds again and gets her head on straight, when she’s in a good place to do so. As someone with mental illness.. ti’s nice to see a character who not only supports someone fully, but knows how to handle it. Instead of a shitty third act breakup like many shows would do guy stands by her.  He does however step SLIGHTLY over the line, if iwth good intentions and reason and send Princess Carolyn the Ivy Tran pages, because as he puts it he made an executive decision.. and when Diane is a bit annoyed by that as it does sound a tad douchey, he rightly points out she was in a really bad hole of a place, stuck in a loop doign something that even before going off her meds was clearly hurting her and going nowhere, and needed SOMETHING to snap her out of it, and did so not to hurt her or because he thought he knkew better or , like her ex husband, because he was oblvious to her needs; he did it because it was the hard but necessary thing to get her to seee she had something special and that she dosen’t have to constnatly tear herself up by diving into past traumas because of some internal obligation. 

Naturally Diane dosen’t take it despite Princess Carolyn not only being impressed but PREFERRING the ivy pages, as she was genuinely unaware Diane had something so happy and charming in her. While Diane is worried about it when the two end up meeting in person, we soon find out why: If all the damage she went through wasn’t “good” damage, things she could writ eabout and use later.. what was it for? Could she of just been happy this whole time? Did she waste her life. And in a rare moment betwen the two PC helps Diane walk it back, explaning that she can do what she always wanted: write something that makes someone like her feel not alone. That she dosen’t HAVE to make her life story into something complicated, just make what makes her and other people happy. Something PC’s daughter could enjoy one day. So Diane finally accepts that maybe there’s something else for her.. and then we get a segue into the next episode with bojack having a panic attack and pasing out but that episode, good as it was didn’t make it so moving on.  We also check in with Penny, the daughter of an old friend of bojacks who he nearly slept with and is stil haunted both by the decision and a drunken later visit to apologize... which isn’t helped remotely when max and page, two reporters inovlved in teh subplot that tears bojack’s life apart, start hounding her. While they have good intentions, exposing Bojack’s connection to Sarah Lynn’s death, the two’s methods still come off as creepy, following a, at this point , 21 year old girl whose been through ENOUGH home. While the two aren’t terrible people their actions.. are.. while getting hte story ismprotant is it truly worth genuinely harming this person. And penny wonders if she SHOULD air her story.. she ends up not.. but only because her mother, while lettiner he decide, poitns out it may not be worth all the pressure and possible trauma it digs up,especially since Bojack is getting what he deserved anyway. IT’s a decent subplot tha tties up a loose end but really makes our journalist characters feel like assholes for again, basically stalking and harassing a young woman who didn’t want to rehash the worst moment of her life. Otherwise top notch stuff. 

6. Heart (Parts 1 and 2) (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) “Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please, just this once... STAY! Stay. “

Now we get to the gays winning.. and to one of the best series finale in recent memory. And given the other two titanic shows ending, one of which we’ll get to’s ending in a moment, last year, it’s a huge compliment. Heart is how you end a space opera... with big wonderful speeches, great payoff, a huge climax.. and a beautiful cathartic kiss paying off the relationship at the heart of the series that ends up saving the universe.  So let’s just go ahead and crack open that pinata: The kiss.. was easily one of the best moments of animation this year and, at a time when the quarantine was starting, misery was spreading, and things looked pretty damn bad, having a major animated show, one of the biggest of the last few years, climax with an emotional moment between two women, one the series had been setting up since day 1... it was a huge step foward for gay representation in children’s animation, and warmed my big bi heart. And it’s not just good because of that: the fact it’s a giant pile of representation is wonderous, but it’s because it’s also well baked into the show. This is the conclusion of both their character arcs: Catra finally realizes Adora will not abandon her and her leaving the Horde was not choosing them over her.. it was simply doing the right thing. So instead of running or trying to escape she’s grown enough to fight for what she wants and fight for a future with Adora.  Adora meanwhile finally overcomes her martyer complex, her determination, especially after Angela’s death, to make sure no one else is gone and she’s the only one that suffers and looses. To make sure there’s nothing else. It’s Catra’s confesssion that FINALLY gets it through her thick skull that she dosen’t have to be alone or bear anything alone.. she’ll always have someone with her to do that.. and even before Catra.. she’s always had friends for that. She dosen’t have to be alone. So the two embrace and it’s fucking beautiful..and gives adora the full power of the doomsday device they went to shutdown in the first place, restoring the planet.. and allowing her to destroy horde prime’s fucking soul. I just want to reiterate that because it understandably got lost in the shuffle of the gays winning, but our heroine fucking tears out the main villian’s soul.. and it is SO damn satisfying given what a truly repulsive , irredemible, asshat Prime was. So the two finally get a future together, a chance to build and to stop letting the past define them. It’s wide open.  But while that alone would probably net it on this list but it’s damn good otherwise, an epic final struggle between our heroes and the horde for the fate of not just their planet but ALL of htem as Prime prepares to finally wipe everything else out in egomanical genocide. There are just.. tons of awesome moments in this one: Bow and Glimmer’s suprising but welcome love confession, Seahawk annoying mermista into fighting her chip, the people of etheria fighting back.. and the reason they do is easily the second best moment of the episode. With the chips down, not literally, and things looking bleak Bow hyjacks Prime’s egoamnacial hologram.. and broadcasts for everyone to fight, to fight back, and to END THIS. After spending most of the series as the one trying to keep his friends together, the glue of everyone.. it’s bow’s heart, courage, and voice, the one that lead his friends through some rough times and severed as reason when they needed it most wether they listned or not.. that frees the world and with Entrapta turns the tide at long last. It’s just a hell of a moment.  And the only other moment equaling it is Hordak freeing himself and deciding he is his own man, he made himself tha tway for better and worst and kills prime, at least before adora finsihes the job with the badass “I am HORDAK and I DEFY your will. “ It’s just a wonderful, epic finale that pays off most of the shows major arcs, gives our heroes a MUCH deserved happy ending after spending their lives at war, and let it be said one last time, gave gay representation in children’s cartoon one hell of a win.

5. Nice While it Lasted (Bojack Horseman) 

“ No, I need to tell you... thank you... and... it's going to be okay... and... I'm sorry... and... thank you... “

Back to back finales here and honestly both are REALLY close in quality, both satisfyingly paying off their series. But both take equal and opposite routes: Heart is an epic finale in scope size and impact... while Nice While it Lasted is a very stripped down character piece: there are other characters in the background but after the intro the only voiced characters in each segment are Bojack and one of the main cast, each one both showing how much said relationship has evolved since the show began, and giving Bojack time to reflect on his possible future. I say possible because one of Nice While it Lasted’s best aspects it that there’s no real concrete ending for Bojack. Ther’es still closure: after his life emploded and he nearly died, more on that in a bit, Bojack ended up in prison, offically for breaking and entering but unoffically for all the shitty things he did with him glumly accepting it. So one year later he’s out thanks to Princess Carolyn for her wedding, sober again thanks to prison and even started his own acting class at the prison he’s geninley invested in, inteding to continue it once he gets out. But otherwise.. his future’s in flux. HE’s sober for now, but he’s painfully aware that could change again, his friends while, with one excpetion, still having a place for him in their lives, have moved on, and his career is on the upswing again despite being a pariah a year ago because as I mentioned earlier and as PC brilliantly puts it

So he could become a better man, get his career back, make amends for what he did and stay sober.. or backslide and fall down into the same traps he always has. It plays into an aseop the series has always preached: There are no real endings, life just goes on. Even for the rest of the cast hteir lives aren’t over.. their just in a good place.. maybe bojack will, maybe he won’t. Tha’ts up to the indvidual viewer and I like that. While ambgious endings can be frustrating and I get while some preferred the more concrete if still somewhat ambgious ending of a view from halfway down, I feel this fits the series better: Bojack, like the end of every season is moving on to something new, but this time we don’t know what, and that’s okay. IT’s time for us to move on.  Well okay not from this entry as each vingette deserves some praise: Our first has Mr. Peanutbutter pick up Bojack from prison, and even get him a new suit.. and then another one offscreen because predictably for his life BOjack got meatball all over it. He also calms our hero down when he wants to go back to jail, letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be there for him.. unless his friend Erica shows up but what are the odds... 1:1. But what’s nice about it is while Bojack still makes jabs, it’s clear he’s gone from truly hating and resenting PB for being the betterversion of him.. to truly seeing the guy as one of his best friends, his jabs having gone from hurtful and bitter to wry and warranted. I mean they were warranted a lot back then too he’s just a lot softer about them. 

At the wedding Todd and Bojack finally reach some form of understanding after years of awkwardness, the two having reconclied but not being really remotely close or in each other’s lives hardly anymore after Todd’s understandable blow up at Bojack in “It’s You”. Here Todd has Bojack rush him to the beach to cary him on his shoulders.. to watch fireworks because he could tell he was overhwelmed, the two having found a rhtym again, with, like with mr peanutbutter, Bojacks jabs being a lot friendler and Todd having a respect for his own needs while actually being present for bojack instead of ignorant of how bad things were like he was at the start. He even helps BOjack see even if he DOES replase.. he can get right back on the horse, couldn’t resist that one sue me, and as the hokey pokey says turn himself around. 

After, in one of the best payoffs of the series, finally trying Hondedew and finding it’s not so bad, Bojack dances with PC, admittingh e half hoped he’d have to help her go thorugh with it before the two run through the scenario, and PC expresses some honest fears with bojack helping her showing how the two hav egone from a horribly stiffing relationship.. to two close friends who are probably stuck with one another for life. Sunk costs and all that. And if bojack does want to act again she knwos some people. But for now PC finally really has everything she ever wanted:: A daughter, and a loving husband in judah. 

Finally we have the most painful of the group because of course the Bojack finale wouldn’t be all sugar and would have to punch us in the gut. Bojack finds Diane again who hasn’t talked to him.. because he called her the night of his near death/sucidide and due to putting the blame on her due to being high out of his mind, made her feel like it was his fault during the 7 hours she could reach no one and thought he was dead. Diane is hurt, feeling betrayed that bojack promsied he’d be fine then possibly left her with the pain of his death on her concious forever. Thankfully she’s doing fine, as she’s now married guy and Ivy Tran is a huge success and probably a series now.. but it’s abudnantly clear her friendship with Bojack is over.. but even this bittersweet, and necessary, seperation, as Diane has moved past LA and Bojack needs to stop relying on her and stand on his own two hooves, still warms the heart as she thanks him and lets him know i’tll be okay, and endugles him in telling her one last story, a rathe rfunny one about prison movie night bfore the series ends on the melancholy and apporriate song mr blue as the two gaze out and they see each other and we see them for the last time. 

4 The Wasteland (Infinity Train) 

“I'm as good as dead, and if my last act is to bring you with me, sliver, I can't imagine a better way to go!” “Well, I can! “

So from a bittersweet ending to holy shit that’s depressing, we have our only entry from Infnity Train on the list. That’s not to say the series did bad this year. Season 2 was easily the series finest hour, taking the framework from season 1 and crafting a gripping story of a teenage mirror person who just wanted to live without assholes trying to kill her for what she fundementally IS, and be recognized as a person, with the help of a magical deer and a more optimstic teen grappling with his peer pressure issues.  The series was still undoubtly silly with a parasite voiced by Bill Corbett, wonderfully so, and again a magical deer named Alan Dracula, long may he reign, it simply deconstructed the nature of the train and thus opened up the floodgates. By giving us a denzin who, after years of being someone’s reflection in both senses of the word, just wanted to live and how that clashed with the train and the racist assholes she met alnong the way, from the ones who wouldnt’ stop trying to kill her.. to humans who considered her as nothing more than a plaything at best and something to get rid of at worst. While Season 3 was not bad, if a bit way too strcuturally messy and trying to do too much at once, Season 2 still handled the same issues but in a much tighter frame storywise.  And that’s why only one episode made it: Most of the episodes, espicially the later ones, are pieces of a large whole, with the show being heavily seralized. Which while a great approach intended for streaming, also means it was hard to find a chapter that worked that well on it’s own, steven universe future had similar issues. But I did and the wasteland is easily the darkest, harshest and most intresting episode out of the batch.  The episode opens at MT’s darkest hour: The apex told the mirror police where she is, Jesse is gone, and MT is now running for her life from the sadstic assshole and his spinless partner who want her dead just for existing.. gee can’t imagine why a bunch of assholes refusing ot acknolwedge other peoples opinons, rights or even existance was a big topic last year.. or this year. 

So while Mace, the main mirror cop, manages to handcuff her MT manages to throw him under the train. THe result is her trying to escape the train by wondering i’ts vast desert, forced to drag Mace along as he taunts her, bleeding out slowly from you know being bisected by a train. It’s a really moody peace as Mace mock’s mt’s dreams of escape and justify’s his own selling out, while MT pokes holes in that: he was so desperate to not nonexist.. he’s willing to kill others who just want the same. IT’s a damn hard watch but fuck if i’ts not compelling. 

And the climax is what makes it. MT finds out she can’t leave the bounds of the wasteland, as it only projects so far and after escaping the ghoms ends up back on the train, with Mace, not long fo rthis world trying to kill her.. so we get a 13-14 year old GRINDING HER HORRIFYING ABUSER UNDER A TRAIN WHEEL. Just jesus.. I mean I kind of get HBO Max’s point that MAYBE this is a bit much for kids. I mean i’ve seen other really dark stuff but holy fuck a man died.. and we see his blood splatter. But it’s this horrible, harsh moment that makes the episode.. as is MT”s reaction.. not one of triumph.. but of exaustion and horror at what she’s done, before steadying herself to prove him wrong. A hard one to write about but damn it was good. 

3. Enchanting Grom Fright (The Owl House)  “Dear Luz, will you go to Grom with me- Amity”  Now we THANKFULLY get to something lighter: the gays winning.. again. Coming out during pride month, phrasing, and only a month after the she ra finale we got this delightful episode. As I said earlier I watched this one first run: while I was super behind, I couldn’t resisit to the point I watched it before that week’s amphibia. I was that curious what was going to happen.  See as i’ve given out about quite a lot.. and I mean a LOT, Disney dosen’t have the best track record with gay representation: they don’t do horrible sterotypes or anything.. but they also don’t do much of anything for the most part. Alex Hirsch has outright spoke about how much he had to fight just to get Blubbs and Durland firmly together in the finale, and how the symbols for the love god were widdled down to just male and female. And around the time this episode came Disney was coming out of a REALLY bad batch of pr stunt gay representation: They made a big deal about the first gay x in an x having gay characters in avengers endgame, star wars: Deep Hurting and onward.. but these were cameos AT BEST, with the endgame one being so minor I genuinely didn’t realize the character was talking about dating a man and only found out afterwords. Sure Ducktales had gay dads, which is awesome and always will be.. but none of the major cast was allowed to be openly gay. I mean we know webby and lena are gay but hell if disney would allow that.  But miracoulsy.. shockingly and wonderfully.. Disney DID mange to finally just say fuck it and let some big gay rep in, something so obvious it can’t be ignored and that actually features the main character and one of the most major supporting characters. And what do you know, the good press and pats on the back outweighed the bad. It’s almost if giving up homophobic markets in exchange for doing the right thing.. is a GOOD thing while also being profable. Who’d a thunk. Point is via sheer perstiance, Owl House creator Dana Terrance got to not only make her lead bi, which Terrance herself is, but have her love intrest be a girl. And I find it genuinely wonderful that gay, bi, pan and what have you children can watch this and say “tha’ts me and this is okay”.  But even minus Owl House saying gay rights.. the episode is just REALLY good and part of it is who it focuses on. Amity easily has the most character devleopment out of the cast going from someone who walls herself off from everyone, revels in her superiority.. to slowly opening up to heroine Luz, realizing Luz is not a bad person and that Amity herself dosen’t have to be, and right before this starting the road to patching things up with her former best friend willow. Allt hrough this said friendship had been prettty, prettyy, prettyyy gay. And that’s wonderful obviously, but part of why I watched this was while I HOPED they’d get to be couple.. I wasn’t convinced since see a fucking bove. But I was happy to realize that oh my god I was wrong, the gays won all along. 

So with Amity a better person she’s naturally syampthetic when sh’es put front and center at hexside’s prom equvilent which while having a dance, gromprosals and a disco ball tha’ts also a sentient being, becuase boiling isles, it also has the queen or king forced to fight a horrifying monster that manfiests as your greatest fear. And, as we find out towards the end.. Amity’s is being rejected by Luz, having her love letter, which she fails to deliver due to running into luz.. and co (which is my faviroite gag of the episode and the adorable smiles gus and willow give in response are what make it). And . it makes sense. When you stop and think about it.. Luz is the best thing in her life. She got her to change as a person, genuinely cares about and adores her, just wants to be her friend and thinks the world of her. Given her siblings, while trying to be better, are two disaster bisexuals who just stopped a lifetime of untietonally harsh bullying and her parents are controlling asshats who made her abandon her best friend at a young age and she sees LILITH as a mother figure, just let that sink in given a few entires back.. yeah.. no wonder sh’es utterly terrified of rejection. Poor baby. 

Of course WE know Luz wouldn’t. Luz may be many things, including oblvioius to thte freaking obvoius as this story line has revealed, but shes not cruel and even if she said no, which I higlhly doubt she would, she woudln’t be a dick about it. But being surrounded by cruel assholes for some time has made Amity a bit paranoid so Luz volunteers to sub in to both genuinely help her friend.. and to prove to eda she can do this. Eda is also chaperoning. and looks neat in a suit, while King and Gus get a wonderful b plot of mcing the dance with the egotisticl king having issues with stage fright. I will get more into that when I review the episode proper, come back in a month for that.  But yeah while Luz does well when the time comes, and while sadly not wearing her otter suit does wear a wonderful tuxedo with a tutu.. she has her own repressed issues to adress as Grom takes the form of her mother, as Luz has been nursing guilt over not telling her the truth about what’s going on. Luz runs, and Amity ends up facing her fear to save her crush and the two get a wonderfully romantic, and desturctive dance together as they face hteir fear, untie as one and kill that motherfucker... well okay i’m not sure grom can die but it’s gone for now.  The dance sequence.. is easily one of the best scene’s all year, beauituflly animated and painstakingly planned out, with wonderful music.. it’s just awesome and what takes the episode ove rthe top, with the two perfeclty in synch as they take grom out in less than a minute. Also king become prom king and queen, he is best of both as Luz’s own personal issues put a damper on things. Also someone’s been writing her mom. 

Overall just a perfect episoe and a perfectly gay episode of one of the best shows going right now. Speaking of a perfect episode of one of the best shows going right now, tha’ts also on disney. 

2. Escape From the Impossibin! (Ducktales)  ”We have to keep them safe” “But not like this!”  So from some emotinal torment mixed with some lovely shipping, we get a whole buttload of emotional anguish but with a robotic scrooge and the time loop room and the time loop room and the time loop room, and time l...

As I said in part 1, Season 3 is easily Ducktales best so far, having far better pacing, character ballance and bolder and more intresting stories than ever before. While the first two seasons are still excellent, this one has taken everything great and honed it and no episode shows off just how great this season is than this one.  This one takes place in the fallout of “Let’s Get Dangerous!”, with the family dealing with finding out FOWL”s not only still alive, but is run by Bradford, head of scrooge’s board of directors former shush agent as we’d find out later, and asshole, who knows all their secrets. And given Scrooge is mildly paranoid on a good day and Beakly is extremley paranoid on her best day, it’s done a number on both as they’ve split the family minus launchpad, who just had a whole episode so fair enough, up: Scrooge has taken Della and Louie, wiht their see all the angels schtick, to test out his new security, while Beakly and Donald are securing the house while Beakly has webby throughly test the boys.  Neither side goes well. The bin ends up locking our heroes out due to Scrooge’s password being changed, and forcing them to work past it. Louie rises to the challenge, as does della.. but as they beat a robot versoin of scrooge, because of course the final test would be a robot version of scrooge, Scrooge is instead of triumphant at not being dead, incredibly depressed and furious. Because when told he’s scrooge mcduck he tellingly replies “AND WHAT IF THAT’S NTO ENOUGH’. For once.. Scrooge is SCARED, up against someone who knows his every move and is one step ahead, iti’s how it’s always been, no matter what he’ll do, he’ll always loose and Bradford will always win. I REALLY need to watch spies are forever, point is he’s scared and Bradford PROVING the point by revealing he was behind it and taking over the robot dosen’t help. Our heroes win though in a damn impressive action sequence, but as it turns out.. it was just a distraction.. but we’llg et back to that.  The other plot though is whyt his is so high. While the first plot is a fun romp with deep eomtional consequences.. the second plot is decidly far darker.. it still has some good bits as webby terorizes the boys and easily one of the best in the season when she horrifying imitates dewey, but its’ only when she does finally attack she realizes she’s taken it way toof ar. She’s terrorized her brothers, caused huey to break his leg and then turn her away when she tries to help.. all she’s done is turn them AGAINST each other and they can’t win this way.  Beakly strongly disagrees and clealry lost in her own paranoia and fear, prepares to attack huey.. and thus Webby steps in... leading to one fo the most heartbreaking and tense fights in the series as grandmother and grandaughter fight one on one but both are outmatched.. but Huey and Dewey, despite everything, refuse not to help their sister and help pull webby up, with Webby panickidly realizing something’s VERY wrong and her granny usually isn’t like this when sparring... and is also chasing them. This leads to the roof, in a rainstorm no less, and Webby relcutnatnly ready to fight even though she clearly knows she both can’t win.. and dosen’t want to anymore. Despite her wilingless to scrap, fight and train.. Webby dosen’t WANT to hurt her granny she just wants to help her. Thankfully, the boys attempt to stop this, while failing horribly, catches donald’s attention as he catches them, ntocies what’s going on and furiously refuses to let this go on. While Beakly tries to ignore it and fight..s he instead slips and despite everything, the rest of the group rescue her, with Webby impressing on her grandmother that they aren’t fowl. They wont’ win acting like them and tearing each other apart.. they need to be the family they are.  But if all that wasn’t enough turns out.. yeah, Bradford’s thing was a distraction and with the rest of the group distracted with Beakly, that meant his plan went off without a hitch: all the missing mysteries have been taken by FOWL, in a masterstorke that ties both plots together and brings what seemed like isolated adventures on their own in a tagnetally related plot into the fore. Everything so far has built up to this.. and despite the loss.. the family, having been through a dark night of the soul, is ready to fight back. They want the rest of the mysteries? Their going to have to fight clan mcduck in their elment. And it’s been glorious so far. A tense, well paced, hard hitting episode, this one’s a winner. and almost got #1.. ALMOST. But as much as I tried to not go with the obvious chocie, the one with tons of press and praise and that’s graced tons of best of lists... I had to go with what was honestly the best. So...

1. The View from Halfway Down (BoJack Horseman)  “Oh BoJack, there is no other side. This is it. “  This episode was my main reason for catching up with the series and finishing it off once and for all. Awash with praise and hype I was curious about this one.. and my curiosity paid off. This is easily one of if not hte best episodes Bojack put out in it’s storied run: it’s creative, impossible to look away from and devistating: in short it’s the show in a nutshell.. and it’s a hell of a view. 

Previously as mentioned before Bojack’s life blew up and he lost just about everything, from his friends, though as the finale bared out only one of them stayed away for good and for good reason, his only family in hollyhock, his house, even horsin around. He had nothing left.. so high on drugs and in his old house he passed out at the end of last episode.. and we wake up here with a recurring dream as Bojack has a dinner party at his mother’s house, another wonderful performance from Wendy Mallick. Everyone there is someone Bojack knew who died: his former best friend he betrayed Herb, Sarah Lynn his former child co start turned washed up 30 something he let die, Courdory, a co star who died trying to get off david caradine style, Crackerjacke, the uncle he never knew who die din the war and his parents, distant mother Beatrice as mentioned and his father, who is in the body of his hero secretariat who comited suiccide in this unvierse due to getting banned from racing, as that’s the kind of weird shit dreams do. Also Zack Braff, who has no real conncetion to bojack but still died during that time Mr Peanutbutters house sunk into the earth and his ex wife Jesscia bIel formed a death cult.  The group play a game of best and worst, lay into each ohter and have some really intresting conversations with Bojack confident of when it’ll end: before the show their always mentioing. But this time, it’s diffrent.. Bojack is there for it so we get a trippy and horrifyimng stage show as Bojack watches the various people one by one vo into a black door, allt he while bojack coughts up sludge and is persued by it, unaware where he was before this. Sarah Lynn gives one last song, a reprise of a song from previous in the series, Courdroy does a ribbon dance and zack braff gets on roller skates. And bojack has a frank conversation with his dad, with his dad/secretariat revealing he DID care but was just so filled with loathing he coudlnt’ admit it to his son and thus was an abusive ass.. and then reveals to bojack he’s not waking up and bojack horryfigngly see shimself, drowning ina pool. And while he frantically, heartbreakingly tries to flee... he can’t. There’s no exit for him. As herb tells him, this isn’t the afterlife, this is his brain making sense of his last moments, and ther’es no way of knowing if he’ll get rescued, no way to do anything but watch.. watch as his father secretairat shows suicide in all it’s horror by letting it know he wouldn’t of done it if he knew “the view fro halfway down”, a horrifingly haunting poem that sells just how bad it was. As beatrice and crackerjack also go we’re down to herb who introduces bojack... before going in himself, claming there is no other side. Bojack tries not to go genle and runs, and in a horrfying sequence is surronded by the ooze as he tries his damndest to escape.. but in the end he can’t. As herb said.. he can’t do anything about this. So speaking to his min’ds version of diane he accepts he probbaly won’t be coming back and we hear a monitor as we fade out. While we know it’s not the end now... there’s no way of telling then. 

The View from Halfway Down is a haunting, beatuflly animated, masterwork, taking 6 seasons worth of communinity and regret and shoving it in bojack’s face in an intresting way, while bringing back characters we thought we’d never see again for one last go round. It was patcually nice to hear LIn Manuel Miranda and Wendy Mallick again,, and Kristan Schaal is always great. The show ALWAYS had a horrifying habit of having it’s penutlimate episode be an utter gutpunch that broke you, with the finale picking up the peices and offering some hope.. and this was no exception. They literally saved the best for last, and it was worth the wait. The view from halfway down may be gahstly,.. but the view of this episode is hauntingly beautiful. 

So that was the list, and it was.. a lot taking 2-3 days to finish all together over both parts. But it was worth it and hopefully we can get back to some regular stuff later today. For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully i’ll see you somewhere in the sunset. 

[rieson]

Midnight Espresso

Pairing : Portgas D. Ace ✗ Reader

Characters : Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy, Sabo, Makino, Red Haired Shanks, others soon to be added.

Contains : Fluff, Humor, Social Media AU, Cafe AU, College!Ace, YouTuber!Reader, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting (No powers)

Word Count : 1596

─ace stumbles across a youtube channel that he finds absolutely entertaining. he's never realized just how much positive impact you've made on his life just by simply existing and making videos. that is, until you decide to take a small hiatus. though, fate or not, during your break, ace finds you entering the cafe he works at.

chapter zero; prologue.

A break.

That was what you needed.

Let's be real, Being a Youtuber is cool and all. I mean, working from home while still doing whatever the hell you want and making money off of it?? An absolute dream.

But sometimes, It gets really frustrating and overwhelming from all the snarky remarks people leave in your comment section on every single one of your videos they can get their hands on.

Waking up and checking your comments? The first thing you see is a hate comment. Followed by other hate comments under it.

You get a rare comment from a fan that actually comments a heart-warming motivation? The replies under the said comment were harsh. Like, real harsh.

It's just, hate. Hate everywhere.

You don’t even know why they kept coming.

You didn’t do anything wrong nor said anything offensive.

Hence, that's why you decided to take a time off of social media for a bit. (Youtube included)

You uploaded a video explaining that you would be in a small hiatus until the situation calms down a bit.

The comment section was oddly not filled with any hate comments.

Which made you more suspicious.

But you still take a break anyways.

You really needed it.

──────

Unbeknownst to you, somewhere in the world, a certain freckled, raven haired, film major college student was bummed out when he heard you were taking a break.

He loved your videos.

The humor in it was always hilarious that he often rewatches your videos whenever he feels down. In other words, For comfort.

Hell, he even showed his brothers your videos and they ended up liking your content too, leading to a “(Your Channel Name) Saturday Binge watch episode” as Luffy, (his little brother), would call it.

Like the name, Every saturday, the self-proclaimed siblings would binge watch your videos in the living room until midnight. Or in some cases, even way later than that. (Ahem, cue the sibling bonding 101)

But it’s okay.

He understands why you needed to take a break.

Social media can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.

God who knows how many times Ace has gotten into an online verbal fight when he finds hate comments in your videos.

He went all out.

Thanks to his oh so ‘colorful’ vocabulary he learned a while back when he was still in an orphanage that was owned by Curly Dadan, he managed to fire them back with the same sarcasticness that made them shut up.

Ace felt g o o d .

Like, real good.

Though, he needs to watch out for the time though. He slept at 2 AM that day and almost missed his class.

But it was worth it. (Atleast to him)

Ace works at a cafe near his college, as a barista. Nothing too special but hey, he needed to pay for his college funds somehow.

A normal day at work for Ace was always very uneventful.

Hence, that's why he did n o t expect you.

YOU, his favorite youtuber to enter the cafe he was working a shift at.

Hellooo?? Was he dreaming?? Is that really you?? IN THE FLESH?!?@R$*#RY@*

He stood there.

Completely frozen.

Oblivious to everything but you.

Time seemed to freeze for him when you walked inside.

All he could focus on was how your (h/l) (h/c) hair bounced when you walked, your (e/c) orbs glistening under the sunlight that went through the windows, and just how you walked in with a posture that gives off a strict but relaxed vibe.

He could not stop looking at you, yea you were pretty but that was when he saw you on the screen.

He thought a person couldn't get prettier but oh that idea was thrown out the window when you walked in.

How can?? Someone be more gorgeous in the flesh hello??

Was this allowed??

Ace thought he was about to get a heart attack from you.

Oh god just how can one be so pretty??

He doesn't believe in gods but thank heavens to the gods up there that made you, because oh my god you were just a sight for sore eyes for him.

He also probably looked hella creepy just standing there in front of his register, gawking at you.

Ace doesn't notice you already being in front of the register he was standing in before you said something along the lines of :

“━You there━?”

Huh?

Oh.

O H

Ohmygodwhatdohedoyou’rerightthereinfrontofhimandtalking

Wait.

No.

He needed to get himself together.

He knows you hate it when people treat you like some sort of celebrity and you just want your fans to treat you like any other human beings.

So he’s going to do just that.

Ace assumes you’re on your break at the moment so he will not make you feel uncomfortable in any way shape or form.

He’s going to treat you like any other customers.

Just.. with a bit more enthusiasm (I mean c'mon man)

“Ah! Sorry there, pardon me for my rudeness ma’am. Welcome to Ivory Blue Cafe! How may I assist a beautiful lady like you this lovely evening?”

SHIT

HE ACCIDENTALLY FLIRTED WITH YOU

OHMYGODNOOO

Pleasedontthinki’macreeppleasedontthi━

A laugh.

He heard a laugh.

Your laugh to be specific.

“OH!━Pfft━aha━” You cleared your throat.

“S-Sorry about that! I didn't mean to lau━”

“Nonono! It's alright, no need to apologize. Actually, I think I need to thank the heavens for that one because oh boy i’ve been blessed by your laughter” Ace responds, cutting through your apology while he gives you a sheepish smile.

This time, it was your turn to gawk at him.

It wasn't very long til heat makes its way over to your cheeks, lightly blushing at Ace’s words but smoothly brushing it off with a light chuckle.

“━Good lord i did NOT expect that━Pfft!━ Sorry sorry. Why thank you, i’m flattered you think my laughter is a blessing” You responded as a small smile forms on your face.

Ace blushed, making his freckles on his cheeks very visible.

He did not think of anything when he said any of that to you, it was like.. The words just seem to unconsciously escape his mouth.

He was embarrassed, sure, but he made you laugh.

So that was good.

“Well, that aside. What can i get you madam?” Ace smoothly says.

“Ah!━About that, hold on… I haven't decided yet..” You mumbled but it was loud enough for Ace to hear. You unconsciously make a pouting face while you speed-read over the menus above.

God you were so cute.

Ace just wanted to squish your cheeks right there and the━

NO! He needs to be professional for now, Ace cant afford to embarrass himself (as if he didn't already do that) in front of his favorite youtuber.

Shaking his head softly, he patiently waits for your order.

“I’d like an Espresso Macchiato please.” You smiled.

“You got it! Please wait patiently as I make your order!~” Ace says as he prints your receipt, smoothly handing it over to you.

“Here’s your receipt. Please hold on to it til I'm done making your order and call your name.”

“Ah wait, speaking of name’s. May I know yours? I’ll be calling the said name when the drink is done so you can go grab it and pay at the front register.” Ace says as he smiles reassuringly at you.

“...(Y/N). Please note it as (Y/N)!” You smiled back at him.

Oh god he was about to faint right there, but NO. He needs to do this, he's a man. He can handle this.

“Alright Lady (Y/N) please take a seat anywhere and make yourself comfortable as i make your order! I’ll be right back madam”

And with that, Ace ZOOMS to the brewing area, making an attempt to calm his racing heart down but failing miserably.

He watches you from the side of his eyes as you take a seat near one of the windows, waiting patiently for your drink to be done.

Realizing something, Ace forgot to ask whether you want it to go or to drink here.

SHIT

But,,, Judging by your appearance, you’d probably want it to go so he’ll take that chance.

5 minutes go by and he’s done with your drink.

Slowly walking up to the register, Ace says your name.

“Espresso Macchiato for Lady (Y/N)?” He half-yelled.

“Here!━ Thank you so much!” You say as you reached your hand over to grab your drink.

“No problem! Here you go madam”

“Oh! How’d you know I wanted it to go?”

“Instincts i guess, i was right, weren't i?” Ace grinned

“Well then, you have very accurate instincts Mr…”

“Oh! Ace. The name’s Ace.”

“Mr. Ace” You smiled, grabbing your wallet and pulling a 50 dollar bill, handing it over to him to take.

“Wha━ Nono! That's way too much!” Ace widen his eyes

“Take it as a tip for being welcoming and friendly haha!” You chuckle, shoving the bill to his chest and letting it go once you see his hands coming to grab it.

“Have a good evening Ace-san! Thank you for your assistance!” You grinned.

And with that, you were gone.

Out the door like a flash.

Ace stood there, once again shocked.

Not noticing, his face formed a shit eating grin. No. A Wide grin.

He’s going to remember this day for the rest of his life, no doubt about it.

Shaking his head, still smiling, he gathers himself back as he takes the next customer’s orders.

prologue end.

Masterlist

[just-another-writer-cherry]

The one where Harry is a drug addict and Y/N fines out

Warning: mentions of drugs

Requested: yes

Type: imagine

A/N: I don’t know how drugs work, so yeah I did my best, also kids don’t do drugs it’s not good and it only hurts you more. Anyways, thanks Lovie for the request you know who are, I hope you guys really enjoy this one.

Harry’s POV

Acceptance, something us people are very stubborn about.

Help, something we refuse to take even if we needed or when we needed the most.

I don’t when or how it happened, but it did and little did I know it was going to be the end of me.

Drugs

I Harry Edward Styles am addicted to drugs. It was all supposed to be innocent one time thing. Just take puff and move on. But it didn’t, it started out with weed, I was hanging with some friends when they ask me if I wanted some.

I said yes

Big mistake

Then I moved on to marijuana, next thing you know I’m snoring cocaine. Than suddenly I fine myself trying something new. Crack. Fuck! How did this even happened? It started out with what I thought was just fun and then it becomes a stress reliever. People around you go saying they understand what the pressure of being a musician is. But they don’t they simply don’t. And when you start to talk about the stress and your feelings, people tell you it’s your fault for using such career. Hell! Was it that bad to follow my dreams.

Anyways now I’m here once again meeting with James, my drug dealer, the one that delivers the goods. I see him walk towards me, it’s hard to forget what someone face looks like after meeting with them for over a month. I’m currently dress as if I was a gym. Why you might ask, well nobody knows this side of me, so I need to keep a cover. That and I can’t afford to lose the people around me. My mom, sister, my princess y/n, my friends. I just can’t, specially y/n I can’t afford to lose the best thing that has happened to me. I’m madly in love with that woman, she does things to me, makes me feel things that no one has ever made me feel before.

I’m snap out my thoughts by a voice

It’s James

“Hey brother” he greeted me

“Hey, did you bring it? I ask him, looking around making sure no one was taking pictures or anything

“Course I did, the usual right?”

“Yes, um here” I handed him $500

“It’s hice doing business with you sir, have a nice high” he says his goodbyes

I find myself walking home to my beautiful girlfriend with a brand new bag of weed and cocaine to smoke my stress away.

God what have I done.....

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N POV

Harry has been acting weird lately, not that good kind of weird. Had been distance, I try to talk to him but it doesn’t work, he either avoids it or just changes the subject. Either way, today he told to me he was going to the gym, right before diner. Strange but I decide not to question him either, just go with flow.

As I’m cooking dinner in the kitchen I hear our front door open

“Babe, I’m home!” Harry said, dropping his gym bag on the floor

“In the kitchen H” I reponded him

“Smells good in here, what ya making sweets?” He ask coming towards, planting a sweet kiss on my forehead

In that moment I smell something weird on him, almost like weed. It can’t be, he won’t, he knows better than drugs.

“Your favorite” I say with a sweet tone of voice at the same time putting a sweet smile across my face looking up at him

“Did you go to gym?” I ask him, he isn’t sweating or smells like sweat, plus he doesn’t have his headphones on or hanging anywhere

He gives me a strange look

“ course I did, why you ask darling?”

“Well for one you don’t smell like sweat and two your headphones aren’t hanging from anywhere ” I say as matter of fact

“Well that’s because I took a shower at the gym before coming here, I put my headphones in my gym back , lovie” he said,

“Right but you never take shower at the gym”

“Decided to change it up a bit today”

I just look at him for a second, he looks drained, pale, tired, dark circles underneath his eyes, god H what are you doing to yourself

“Go get change H, so you can come down on time for dinner” I tell

“Yes ma’am” he said and left the kitchen

Once he left, I turn the stove off and go where his gym bag is.

I pick it, open it and start looking around to see if I can fine something.

What I fine next makes me question wether I know the real Harry or not and wether he loves or not

I drop the gym bag, my shaky hand only holding a ziplock bag, tears form in my eyes

It’s not just any ziplock bag

One with drugs in it, if I had to guess it’s weed and cocaine

What have you done Harry

I’m in so much shock, I didn’t even notice Harry standing there, I look at him slowly, with red eyes trying to content my tears.

“Please tell me it’s not yours, please” tiny tears start to fall

“I can explain” it’s all he says,

I just look at him, disappointed, mad , hurt

“Explain then, tell me why in the fucking world you have drugs in your bag?!”

“I’m sorry”

He is crying, I’m crying we are crying it’s a mess

“Why?! Why Harry?! What did I do wrong?! I have always been there for you! Why?! I say throwing the bag of drugs on the floor

“I don’t know, it was supposed to be a one time thing I swear it” he says, crying sobbing

I give him a “are you kidding” kinda look

“Seriously Harry! You have to be fucking kidding me! Anne raised you better than this! Drugs are never and will never be a one time thing!” I screamed angry with tear rolling down my face

He stays quite, doesn’t say anything else

“I can’t even look at you right now” my tone is normal this time, I walk pass him, getting bag

He turns around

“Where are you going? Please tell me your not leaving, you can’t leave Y/N, please don’t leave me” he says

Harry tries to crap my arm but fails when I pull away

“I need to be away from you” it’s the only thing I say before I walk out the door

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry’s POV

No no no she left, my love left, fuck how stupid could I’ve been. It’s all my fault. I’m crying, I’m a mess but I do the only thing I have been doing for the past few moments.

Drugs

I take the bag and get the weed out and roll it up

I start to smoke it but it’s not enough, I need to numb this feeling

I take the cocaine out, put it onto the table, make the lines and start to snore it

What have I become

~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N

I walked like a block before I decide to call Anne, my crying as calm down now, it’s more so of a shock. I still can’t process what just happened. It’s a lot to take in. I’m in no condition to drive which is why I didn’t take the car. I’m scare I don’t know how Anne or Gem will react to this, Harry really took it too far this time.

I dial Anne phone number

( phone conversation) Anne Y/N

Hey

Hello sugar, are you okay?

I’m- can you please pick me up, I’m like a block away from our house

Yeah, of course. What did he do this time?

I will tell you once we get to your home

It must be really bad if you had to call me

It is

Ok hang in there sweet heart

Thanks Anne

(Phone coversation end)

I wait for like 15 min before I see Anne car, she stops in front me.

“Hey”

“Oh no, you’ve been crying, it’s that bad?”

I just nodded

The rest of the car ride is in silence

~~~~~~~~~

Once we arrive to Anne’s house the first thing I do is seat on the couch, she follows after me.

“Where is Gem? This is better with you two here”

“I’m here” Gem said coming from downstairs

“What did he do now?” Gem ask sitting besides Anne

“I can’t beat the bush around with this one, he is doing drugs guys and I don’t know how or when it happened” I say breaking down and crying

They both look shock, speech less

“No him, no my son” Anne says crying

“We have to help him” says Gemma

“ I don’t know anymore, I’m so mad and angry, I feel like I have fail him and our relationship”

“You haven’t failed anyone dear, you’ve done more than enough” Anne told me

“You’re right Gem we have to help him, I don’t what are we still doing here” I tell them and both of them nod in agreement

We get our bags and head to the car

~~~~~~~~~~

Anne park in the drive way, I’m the first one out the car, I open my bag in search for my keys. I get them out, Anne and Gem already behind me.

I open the door and the first thing we all notice is the smoke and smell of weed but the second thing worries me the most

A crying Harry, sitting on our living room floor. I start to walk towards him, the closer I get the more I can hear him whispering my name.

“Harry, baby it’s me, I’m here” I’m kneeling down in front of him, trying to separate his arms so he can look at me

“Y/N” he said

“Yes baby it’s me, are you okay? What have you done” I ask him

“I think he needs a cold shower y/n” Gem said

I look up at her and nod my head

“Anne can you help me get him off the floor”

“Yes dear”

“I’ll get him a change of clothes” Gem said

I gave Gem a nod. Anne and I both somehow manage to get him off the floor, we start to walk towards the shower. Anne gets out the bathroom and I start to undress Harry. I turn the water to cold.

“Get in with me please” he ask

“Course baby” I cant deny him anything at the moment

The water hits Harry first, he mumbles a “cold” I start to wash him, he starts to shake a little bit but I decide to just stay in for a bit

Once we are done with shower, I get out first and grab towels for both us. I rap a towel around his waist and around my body.

We get out the bathroom and walk up to our bedroom, that’s when I see Gem standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“You’re stupid Harry, I left his clothes on the bed”

I nodded, Harry didn’t give her any reaction. I guess is from being drained from all the smoking and snoring he was doing before we got here. At the corner of my eye I see Anne cleaning the living room, little tears falling down her face.

God how did we get here

~~~~~

I change Harry into some fresh clothing as well as myself and set him down for nap, I stayed with him until he was completely asleep. Once I was sure he was asleep I got from the bed when down stairs.

I see Anne and Gem sipping on some tea, they both look drained, tired ,pale and I have a feeling I don’t look any better.

I walk towards them, I take a sit with them

“He is taking nap right now” I told them

“What are we gonna do?” ask Gem

“Help him” said Anne

~~~~~~~~~

3hrs later

The three of us are sitting on couch doing whatever when we hear Harry coming down the stairs

I was the first one to get up, I walk towards him and gave him a hug, he seems a little taken aback at my actions but quickly reciprocateds

“Have a nice nap?” I ask him once I pull back from the hug

He just nods

“Want some water sweet heart?” Anne ask from behind me

He just nods again, Anne walk towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water

“You’re stupid and deserve to get the beating daylights out of you, I would do it if it weren’t for your current state” yeah that’s Gem

“I know” he said, Anne comes out the kitchen and hands him the glass of water. He drinks it all in a blink of an eye

“I think we need to talk” I said

We all take a sit at the kitchen island, I sit on Harry’s lab, gem and Anne sit beside eachother in front of us

“When did you start?” Gem ask

“It was while I was on tour, I swear it was supposed to be a one time thing but I don’t know what happened, I guess the stress got too much. It’s not excused but it’s the truth”

“Have you tried to stop?” I ask him

“No I can’t, it’s part of my life now , I need it” he said and all I wanna do is cry

“ we are all here to help you” Anne said

“Why didn’t you told us earlier?” I ask

“I didn’t wanna lose you guys” he said with guilt in his tone.

“We will always be here for you, Sweets” Anne said

Gem and I nodded

“Thank you guys ” he said crying a bit, I hug him, then Gem and Anne join the hug

After our little group hug gem said

“Mom do I have your permission to beat the shit out of my stupid brother?”

“Hell yes you do” Anne said

“Even I agree” I said getting down from Harry lab

Harry just look at Gem who was holding a plastic knife , next thing you know he is running and Gem right behind him

Anne and I just look at eachother then we burst in a fit of laughter.

Then I knew we’ll be alright

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter Three:The Conspiracy Blog,The Investigation and The Shitty Sister In Law

Chapter One       Chapter Two

Warnings:Mentions of racism,homophobia

S0rry that this chapter is kind of short.The next one will be longer.

You didn't understand how you had never found out about this.The article was from 2012 by a conspiracy blog.There were dozens of photographs of you,a bright red circle showing where you was in group photos that were taken in the fifties and more from the seventies.There were a few photos of your large scales the size of quarters that had been found on coral reefs and posted on facebook with captions asking for someone to tell the finder what animal the scale belonged to.Another photo showed a photo of your fluke splashing out of the water.In some your hair had been tucked into your old red hat so the mess of blue waves wouldn't be seen.But somehow those photos had been linked to others from the bridge of your nose and the color of your skin.You kind of missed the old days before all the facial recognition technology.

You went through the photos to see paragraphs and paragraphs with quotes from the interview with Linden. “Linden Sislip,sister of poet and former pawn shop owner claims that her brother was in love with the sea monster of Outer Banks.For decades a murderous mermaid-like creature has haunted the waters and supposedly lured multiple men to painful water related deaths.Outerbanks is known as Paradise on Earth and is home to countless millionaires AKA the sea monsters preferred prey.Some think the creature has migrated elsewhere because of a string of similar deaths closer to California.What do you think?”That article had to be the most bull shit thing you had ever read.Luckily most of the comments agreed,calling the photos fake and saying the scales were that of a tuna’s.

That was pretty insulting to say the least but at least they didn't actually believe you were a serial killing sea monster.That made you feel better but knowing how much Linden hated you definitely hurt a bit.She had hated most people though.She hated the poor,people of color,lgbt+,cats and babies.What kind of sociopath hates cats and babies?You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that somehow she was raised by the same parents he was yet she ended up like that.He was ahead of his time.He was respectful and kind and he loved everyone regardless of social status,race or sexuaity.That’s what made you feel so close to him.Linden had always stared in disgust when he bought extra newspapers to bring to people who couldn't afford them or when he saved his food to bring to children whose parents worked three jobs and still couldn't pay for a decent meal.

You pitied Linden,you couldn't even imagine being that closed minded and ignorant.Things were much worse in the South for sure but you tried your best to get to people.After he had passed away Linden had forced the rest of the family to completely shut you out.You couldn't go to the funeral or even go into their home to grab things that you could remember him by.She blamed you fro his death when she should have blamed herself.It was a terrible thought because in reality there was noone to blame but he had spent so much time in his life trying to convince her to be a good person and convince her to respect people.It had been a waste of years trying to wear her down and make her good but you cant help them all.

The interview didn't really shock you that much.She had always been bitter about you and your origins bit what did shock you was the fact that she had a son in 1950.A son named Bellamy Maybank. “Shit.”You whispered under your breath.Richard waited for you to explain your shock but when you didn't say anything he grew impatient. “What?”He asked.You just nodded,trying to form words.This was real life.This wasnt some weird dream or a conspiracy.This was actually real.This article was published 8 years ago and you had never seen it.

How could you have never seen it?You wondered if Richard knew and had hid it from you but that couldnt be.He knew just as little as you did. “You were right...but theres a time gap.How good are you at investigating?”You asked.A wide smile came across his mature,wrinkly face. “Are you forgetting about how I sunk Ward Cameron’s boat and completely trashed his plans in like...two hours?”He asked.You laughed quietly.Richard had always been so proud of that. “God,how could I forget?”You grinned,looking back up at the TV. “So what do you need me to find out?Make me a list in my notes app.You know which one the notes app is,right?”He teased.You rolled your eyes,opening the app and making a new note.

Close the time gap (after 50-now)

Learn about JJ,Pope,Kiara and the other one.

Check up on Ward’s plans

It had been a hot minute since you had Richard investigate someone.Last time had been nearly 20 years ago.Turns out Ward Cameron was hunting you down in attempt to kidnap and sell you.he was a fucked up son of a trout and you would most definitely say that to his face if given  the chance.You placed the phone down,looking back up at the tv.The main character was threatening a rude looking blonde boy with terrible fashion sense. “Could we drive around for a while?”You asked.He nodded,standing up from his chair.His feet were sore but he always pulled through for you.You two went back out to his car.He turned on your favorite CD that belonged to Billie Eilish.So much had changed since just a few years ago.Someone like Billie would absolutely be an outcast back when you were her age.

Something about the way that cars moved made you happy.It was strange to see the world shifting around you.How poor people rode horses and the rich had cars and how the tables had turned.You had seen so many wars and so many deaths yet you had watched multiple births.You watched segregation end and witnessed people of all races and ethnicities get the right to vote.You had seen the day that the lgbt community finally got rights.And you had helped with it all.You had experienced the life of the poor and of the filthy rich and you were only a quarter through your life.You had been a friend to Marilyn Monroe and saw the day that JFK was assassinated.You had seen so much that no one else had experienced.

You had heard so many old folks complain about the music of today and how it had been so much better back in their day but you could not disagree more.There was no reason to bash the modern ones music.All music is good music except for country music,of course.Richard drove through figure 8 so you could gaze at all the houses.It was quite disgusting that there were only an average of three people living in huge mansions with six bedrooms that they didn't need yet there were families of eight suffering in tiny houses made for three people maximum.The rich were greedy,bitter and overall selfish and annoying.

The poor were generous and grateful for everything they did have and were more likely to be kind and understanding.It was really just a sad place but you didn't want to go anywhere else.A lot of other areas had water that was far too polluted but definitely had better people and a better atmosphere on land.It didn't really matter how great the land was when you could only see it once a month anyways.Plus OBX had a great cave system and pretty nice weather.Richard turned his car,going back to The Cut.If you were to live anywhere in Outer Banks it would most definitely be The Cut.It had an all around better atmosphere,friendlier people and better hiding spots. “So how are the naiads?Have you heard from them?”He asked,purposefully driving slowly.You sighed,turning down the radio. 

“Not really,the only river entrance got blocked off by a ton of fallen branches.I haven't gotten any calls from them though so thats good.Its not that I don't like them or anything but they're just….god,they're so annoying.”You leaned back in your chair.He chuckled. “Does Esmerelda still have a crush on you?”He asked,turning down the dirt road.You nodded. “She’s just….she’s cute but she’s annoying,you know?”You asked.He nodded. “That ones always been kinda strange in the head.”He agreed.Once you got back to the house the sky was lightening up which meant you had such little time.You sat in the backyard in one of the camping chairs with your paper bag in your hand and the drawstring bag hanging off your shoulders.Blue sat with his head on your knee,staring up at you with his big shiny eyes.

He knew the drill by now,his drool making a dark puddle on your jeans as he whined for attention before you had to leave again.Richard had tried to bring the dog out to see you before but it never worked out.Blue got eager and excited and walked to fast for Richard and it wasn't safe for a dog to walk along rough and bumpy rocks.It wasn't exactly safe for an elderly man either but it sucks to suck.You stared up at the sky,wiggling your toes while you still could.As the sun began to come up over the horizon a similar aching pain spread from your heels to your thighs,your body feeling heavy. “I’ll see you next week,(Y/N).”Richard stood up to hug you.You hugged him back,tears pricking at your eyes.

Blue pawed at you,licking your jeans.You kissed his forehead lightly before limping down to the water.You dragged yourself into the water,collapsing when you were at your knees.Your legs tingled,your head slipping under the water as your legs knit together in a painful mess.From below your hips your tail grew,your hair falling in your face as all evidence that you had been human left you.Your hend clenched the deteriorating paper bag as you swished your fins,gaining control over your body again.The sun was now reflecting off the water,nearly blinding you.You ducked under the water,going deeper and deeper.

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[magpiemorality]

Platonic intruality with Remus as Patton’s guardian angel :0? Idk it’s an idea I had that I don’t think I could execute well but I think you could!! If I may add one more thing, could it be hurt comfort? I don’t wanna specify more because I wanna see what you do with it!!! (Okay bye now ily!)

This spiraled into something monstrous and painful and very, very cathartic. I hope it doesn’t hurt anyone to read, do watch the warnings. And remember; it is a story, and not an instruction booklet. Because of subject matter I’ve put a little summary in so there’s more warning about what’s coming!

And to you Chris, thanks for the prompt. It was special to write, in many ways.

The Hardest Fight Of All

Guardian Angel Remus has been assigned to help Patton Abbott, a sweet high school student with a very normal, decent life; nothing easy to spot for Remus to fight. But if the threat isn’t from outside, then it may be coming from within.

Warnings: Mental Health Issues, negativity, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional self-harm, what might be construed as bad handling of an individual with mental health issues, death mention (metaphorical). 

AO3

***

Patton Abbot didn't deserve his guardian angel. No really. He was sure he was nice enough, and he tried to be kind to everyone he could and forgive anyone that did him harm, but he didn't deserve a guardian angel for that! He wasn't in much danger, he didn't have a lot to complain about, with his perfectly normal life and normal parents and normal school. He even had normal friends! It felt selfish to have a guardian angel when he wasn't suffering at all really, and he hadn't earned it through doing anything particularly good either.

His guardian angel loudly, passionately and regularly disagreed, but Patton had yet to be convinced. Remus was lovely, but there were so many more deserving people that needed his help! He was flattered Remus seemed to enjoy being his guardian angel and hanging around with him but it was probably only because he was forced, and Patton was good at acting nice so at least he hoped he wasn't making the angel's job too awful.

That was if you asked Patton, at least. Remus would have a different perspective on things. But Patton hadn't... actually asked him? Because he was so obviously lying when he insisted Patton did deserve his presence and protection, because Patton didn't deserve it.

Over time though, something changed. Remus started to lose his glow, his wings began to droop and he stopped skipping and floating around above the ground, steps dragging heavier and heavier on the floor. Patton was terrified, constantly checking in with him because Remus was too important to feel bad, or get sick, or whatever it was that was happening! Patton had to help him!

When he woke up one morning to find Remus leaning on the windowsill, gazing despondently out at the garden and the rest of the houses he started to really panic. He had to be hurting the angel somehow, but how?! And how could he fix it?!

"Remus? What- what's up bud? You know you can always talk to me right? I think you're awesome, and you deserve to be happy!"

"I'm not so sure."

"You do!" Patton insisted, placing a hand between his wing joints on his back. "You do so much good, you're always taking care of me and you're so kind and lovely and fun and you-"

"It's taken me a while, you know," Remus interrupted. Patton went quiet apart from a soft, questioning hum. "To figure out why I was sent to you."

Ah. "Well it must have been a mistake, like I said before, but that's okay, you can consider-"

"Patton for the love of the sky and the stars; shut up."

Patton shut up, trying not to let the harshness hurt. He knew he'd been babbling on a bit, so it was probably his own fault, and after all even angels only had a certain amount of patience. And Patton knew he was annoying. But it still hurt just a little bit.

Remus rounded on him, eyes alight for the first time in weeks. He grabbed Patton by the shoulders and steered him back to the bed, sitting him down on the edge firmly and moving back to pace in front of him. Patton waited, still conscious of the reprimand, until Remus finally burst.

"I can't believe it took me so long! Honestly, I wasn't sure there was much to do here; you seemed so happy so much of the time, and you get along with almost everyone! Sure there's the odd bully, but its only ever in situations you put yourself into knowing they'll come, like that video channel thing of yours, and I suppose I assumed you realised you could just leave if you didn't want to see it all. You were so nice to them, too nice! But even when I visited them, sorted that out for you, or got you to spend time away from it, you were still... so hurt. And now, now I see the true problem. It's worse than I thought, and I'm- I'm so sorry I didn't see before, but I'm also angry, and it's not at you but it is-"

Unsurprising, Patton thought. That made sense, after all.

"Because the evil that I'm supposed to battle for you... is you."

Slightly more surprising. "Come again?" Patton asked, apologising quickly for speaking up. Remus bared his teeth as fury flashed over his face, flaring bright again for a moment. He looked... terrifying, but glorious. An angel in battle.

"There is no greater threat to you than yourself. And I don't know how to fight that! I'm angry because I'm sad; why would you attack yourself so viciously day after day, hour after hour, word after word and never afford yourself a single iota of the kindness you afford others?!" He stopped, chest heaving, and Patton felt the weight of an expected answer. He couldn't reply, just shrugging, which only set Remus off again. "You, the nasty horrible thing inside you, it's killing you! You feel like you're dying, and you just let it happen. I don't- I don't know how to fight that, I don't think I can fight that, and you just- " He growled, his morningstar appearing, only partially there, for him to swing in fury. "Everything they say to you that you rail against in public, you bite back against if those very words are turned on your friends with no mercy, you say the same things in your own head. You are so awful to yourself, you're just like them! I cant fight that!"

Patton swallowed. "It's not a big deal," he said weakly, heart hammering in his ribcage.

"But it is! And I can't do my job if you're the one stopping me at every turn! You don't even know you're doing it, or maybe you do and just pretend you don't, I'm not even sure anymore. But you desire so much better, why can't you take your own damn advice?! I don't- I don't think you even want to feel better sometimes, you've turned your suffering into so much of your identity. Do you actually like being this way...?" He cut off, narrowing his eyes at Patton suspiciously. Patton felt part of him squirm under that gaze, but another small part was quietly begging for the angel to go on, to finish lancing this horrid, deep-seated, ancient boil of Bad.

"It's not fair!" Remus finished. "You're doing it to yourself! Do you know how easy that is to stop?!"

Those were the words that finally got Patton up on his feet. Because no matter the truth of the rest of it; that was a lie. "It's not easy! It's not!" Thoughts of therapy and mental health diagnoses and the difficult of facing everything alone when it was easier to just suffer and frame it in martyrdom and help everyone and hope, pray that one day someone would help him too.

(And then push it away away away when that same help was offered back, falling into misery when that endless push- desperately testing his friends to their limits because he knew they'd get tired eventually- turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy as they ran out of support to throw against his walls of self-hatred and negativity)

Remus stepped forwards until they were chest to chest, gazing down from his height, fully blazing bright in the innocuous setting of Patton's bedroom. "But it is. If you want to."

Patton sat down again with a thump, feeling faint and nauseous. There was a moment of silence before he burst into tears, pulling his knees up to hide his face in. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. Because of the horrible cruel words? Because he didn't deserve even this harsh kindness (that felt like staring at the sun without protection or touching electricity, raw and painful and unfiltered for his comfort) after how awful he'd been? Because... because it felt terrible to even think about the fact that this could be his fault in some way?! And now Remus hated him just like the rest and he was going to leave and Patton would be alone and-

Two warm, gentle hands came up to cup his face and tilt it back into view, and Remus was there, looking stern and serious but not angry anymore. The relief that flooded through Patton was almost euphoric, like the weight of the entire sky lifted back up off his lungs. "I can't fight this battle alone, Patton," the angel said. "And I can't fight it at all if you don't truly, deeply, one hundred percent want me to fight it. To do that you need to understand that it's your battle too, that you have to put your armour on and go to war alongside me, if we're to have any chance at success. Because right now you're on their side, and you're sabotaging us from within."

"But it's my condition! My brain doesn't-"

"You think I don't know about that?" Remus frowned, rubbing his cheeks gently. "You've got medication. You've got a therapist, you have people who are trying their hardest to love and support you. But you can't survive the ocean on a raft of other people's making. It will stop you sinking, for a time- perhaps even for a long time, but you won't get any closer to shore unless you start to paddle. And as you paddle you'll also have to patch up any cracks in the raft with your own hands, perhaps with the materials you're given but the work to stitch it all together and sail it has to be your own. It's- I'm not a fan of metaphors but do you see? You can't be the only one not contributing to your own recovery."

"I'm not recovering from anything, I just have a negative self image and... and some other things. But they're bad! They're not things you get better from-" Patton tried, voice trembling and weak. Remus just looked at him, hands still on his face.

"Aren't they?" He asked simply. "You don't think you could ever manage to feel better than you do right now? You think all the stories of people improving their lives are... made up? You think, perhaps, that the medication is all a placebo, that once you've labelled the problem it's made permanent and nothing can ameliorate the symptoms or make life easier to live?" The angel leaned in and dropped a kiss to Patton's forehead, leaving a warm tingling in its wake. "The world would burn, if that were true," he whispered, before standing up.

Patton just kept on sitting in silence, face itching as his tears started to dry on his skin.

Remus gave him a small but real smile. "You've got plenty to think about. Consider my pitch; without you I will continue to fight the war, hopeless though it may be, but with you..." He grinned properly then. "Oh the things we could achieve, dear one."

And off he vanished, in a flutter of feathers and the sound of moving light.

It left Patton feeling as though, in the space of only maybe half an hour, the entire world had changed around him. He wondered, as he lay down on his bed, exhausted and reaching for his favourite plushie for comfort, whether what Remus said was what his therapist secretly wanted to say. It was a funny thought, mild-mannered Dr Picani ranting like the passionate angel, but Patton barely managed a lift of his lips. He needed to rest, and then he'd start to think about all this. If it wasn't true, if the angel was mistaken, seeing things that weren't there because of how boring it was being Patton's guardian; then nothing really needed to change except he would renew his efforts to get Remus reassigned.

If it was true though? Then that changed everything, and Patton Abbott would have a lot of hard work ahead.

He wished he knew which one he was hoping for.

-

[banalbones]

The Petite Prince: Chapter 8

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Chapter 8: One (1) Breakdown

Summary: Roman is a child. It is now Patton’s turn to look after him.

Words: 2150

Ships: Familial everything, except roceit. Eventual familial roceit

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, mention of the words ‘sexual innuendo’ tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2 @fanforeveruniverse @i-cant-find-a-good-username @gabe-killed-me-with-ace-cream @7-slights-at-virgil @crazydemigod666 @tryingtobts

__________________________

Is everything about to go to shit?

How did you know.

__________________________

I’ve said too much!

Roman would have thought, if he were his usual age. But alas, he is not, and so the small prince just wanted a hug.

Plus, hugs usually made people happy!

And I made Mama sad! He was the only not-sad person! He needs a hug now.

And so the little prince snuggled closer to Logan’s chest.

Then he felt a tug.

Thomathy!

Logan, it seemed, had also felt the tug. He frowned.

“Roman, I may have to leave quite soon. Is there anyone you would like to stay with while I’m gone?”

The prince’s brows furrowed as he thought about the question.

“ReeRee?”

“I’m afraid he is already with Thomas.”

Who else was there?

“I d’kno…”

_______________________

Logan sighed. He would have to choose for the royal.

Virgil had told him of the conversation he and Roman had had the night before. It wasn’t an optimal situation, but it wasn’t as if he could get the prince to choose between going to Patton or Janus.

The two who had hurt him the most.

But Remy wasn’t here, and Orange…

He would go with Patton.

“How about Patton?”

The princely side’s face bore a pained expression, before immediately switching to a relatively happy one.

“Ya!”

Logan stood up, hugging the prince to his chest.

“Off we go.”

_________________

Patton was in his room, attempting to make himself some eggs and bacon for breakfast. As the only thing he could make well were brownies, it came out burnt.

Even the egg, somehow.

The moral side dumped the ‘breakfast’ into a bin, before clapping his hands together and summoning some edible food.

I really don’t know why people think I can cook decently…

I can only bake-on brownies!

___________________

Holy shit.

Get it? Like bacon?

We got it.

Egg-celent!

Oh my…

___________________

Patton had just gotten a text from Logan that he would have to look after Roman while he and Virgil looked after Thomas.

The moral side really couldn’t afford to mess this up.

Especially after seeing Remus’s reaction to how the whole situation went down.

The Duke had stayed silent for a moment, before sprouting tentacles and storming off, destroying almost everything in his path and shoving the other sides out of his room.

You could hear him screeching through the walls.

It was lucky that Roman had left when he did.

I don’t want to think about that. So, how will I decorate my room for Roman?

Ah, repression. A very useful tool, even when it shouldn’t be used.

Patton had been preparing an apology speech for the little prince after being thrown out of Remus’s room, in true princey fashion, and with this new opportunity, it would be the perfect time to put it to use.

Even though Patton wasn’t entirely sure how he would apologize to a fifteen month old child.

He’d figure it out.

________________________

Roman clung tightly to Logan’s neck. Falling off of his shoulders would be bad. Just like sad! But more hurt-y.

Roman didn’t really like hurt-y-ness.

He also didn’t like having to stay with Patton, but Mama said that he had to and the prince really wasn’t bothered to protest. Protesting would have made Mama sad, anyway.

The small royal decided not to think about how sad Da-Patton had made him.

Will he have brownies? He had brownies yesterday. Brownies are good…

“Little one?”

Roman giggled at the nickname.

“We’re here. Would you like a hug before I go?”

“Ya!”

And so the logical side lifted Roman from his shoulders and swung him around through the air. The prince squealed as Logan then raised him above his head.

“Simba!”

And with that the petite prince exploded with giggles, letting out a small roar.

Logan let out a sigh of relief.

Roman then hugged the logical side’s neck.

“Bye Mama!”

It was safe to say that the miniature monarch was feeling a lot happier now.

_____________________

Janus had been dealing with intrusive thoughts since his last ‘interaction’ with Remus.

The one ‘person’ he thought would always be by his side.

It wasn’t annoying at all.

For that’s all they were, annoying. Being forced to live with Remus for over twenty years gets you used to these sort of things.

It was slightly worse though, as usually Remus would scream them at him from the ceiling, instead of sending them through his head. The deceitful side had somehow thought that the Duke couldn’t do that to him.

Janus didn’t even know how Remus had found out about the situation. He was literally the only person who talked to him. Aside from Logan, he supposed.

Only person who willingly talked to him.

And either way, Remus didn’t really like his brother. Why did he care now?

His train of thought was cut off as he heard a ding from his phone. Someone talking to him?

It was Patton.

Frogger: Guess who’s been invited to my room?

Ssssss: Who? And should I care?

Frogger: Ooooohhhhh yeeeeaaaah! You don’t know what happened!

___________________

Patton, while waiting for the princely side to arrive, decided to text Janus. Building up friendship was important!

He explained what happened to Roman, and then sent a few cat videos he found. Janus had seemed confused at those, they were sent kinda out of context.

And then there was a knock at his door.

The moral side leaped to his feet and ran to the door, opening it with little difficulty.

“Hey guys!”

The scene before him was adorable.

The tiny prince cuddled up to Logan’s chest with the logical side smiling softly at him.

Patton wished he had a camera.

“Salutations Patton.”

Roman waved enthusiastically and smiled, the grin not quite reaching his eyes.

The moral side felt a pang of sadness.

“Come on in!”

______________________

Roman was a bit scared.

He knew that Big him said princes shouldn’t be scared, but, the prince reasoned, he was currently not even two.

Patton’s room was cleaner than the last time he had seen it, with a bunch of toys laid out on the couch.

“Hey kiddo! Have you had breakfast yet?”

Roman nodded.

“Okay then! What do you want to do?”

Roman shrugged.

He knew adults hated it when children did that, from Thomas’s past experience, but he couldn’t help it. He really didn’t want to talk to him.

“How about we play with some toys?”

Roman nodded again.

And so for the next twenty minutes, Roman played with some toys, settling into the game and creating a kingdom.

I’m booooored. I wanna play with someone! ReeRee was way more fun!

“Pa- Patton?”

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“Play!”

“Play?”

“Play.”

And so for the next twenty minutes, Roman and Patton built up their empire, defeating the dragons and witchs and saving the citizens.

“Attack!”

Roman ‘charged’ forward into the newly created pillow fort, swinging around his inflatable sword.

Then Patton wailed.

“My liege, I’m being controlled by the evil dragon witch! I’m sorry!”

“NOooooOOoOoooOoo!”

Patton held his hands out.

“I’m sorry!”

And then he struck.

Roman giggled uncontrollably as the fatherly side tickled him silly, falling into the fluffy pillows behind him.

A ball of water was unconsciously summoned in his fist.

And suddenly Patton stood, absolutely soaked, with a shocked look on his face.

Oh no… he’s gonna be mad!

…

As it turned out, Patton wasn’t mad. He instead grinned and fell to the ground dramatically.

“I’ve been freed!”

The grin widened as Roman jumped up and hugged him tightly.

Patton hugged him back.

______________________

“Where were you last episode?

Virgil stood in his usual place on the stairs.

Remus was at the TV, a stormy expression on his face.

Well I know that ain’t good.

“Well?” Thomas questioned.

“Why do you need to know?”

Thomas sighed.

To be honest, Virgil didn’t want to tell him.

Why? Oh, just because it was literally because he and Remus were trying to beat Janus(?!?)’s high score in Just Dance.

It was pretty embarrassing.

Thomas had been discussing the wedding and moral dilemmas, had accepted a side, basically destroyed one and Virgil had been hanging with Remus, Remus of all sides, playing Just Dance.

Definitely embarrassing.

“We were playing Just Dance!”

The Duke had spoken up for the first time in two minutes. He usually would have made a sexual innuendo and five death jokes by now.

Odd.

“Really? I thought you hated the Duke, Virgil.”

“I do, but I hate the snake more. Needed to beat his score. Hence Just Dance.”

“Janus? How do you even have that? Also, did you beat it?”

“Well-”

And so the conversation continued, with Logan eventually showing up as Thomas asked the question all of them were hoping he wouldn’t.

“Hey guys, I’ve tried summoning him a couple of times already, but he didn’t rise up. Where’s Roman?”

__________________

Why didn’t you want me to know? I could have handled it.

No, you couldn’t have.

You didn’t even know we could play Just Dance.

Speaking of that-

Oh god, here we go.

Can we just continue with the story?

___________________

Roman was having so much fun!

He was still a little appre- app-er-eh-hen-sive, but still!

He and Papa Patton had defeated the evil Dragon Witch and were now drawing. Roman had been ready to use his crayons on the table, but the moral side had managed to get him a piece of paper before it came to that.

Just a little bit there, and some more that here…

It needed more glitter, but it was good enough!

Patton was in the middle of creating his own drawing, a puppy with a crown. Very good, if he didn’t say so.

And then he looked over at Roman’s.

The petite prince had created an oil painting of the fatherly side standing princess style at the bottom of a grand staircase, complete with a glam makeup look and a meticulously styled ball gown.

What the… Holy crackers!

It seemed that while Patton had been focused on his own small piece of paper, the small royal had been summoning tools and colours and had made a masterpiece.

“Kiddo… That’s amazing! How did you do that in fifteen minutes? You deserve a sticker! And what a great idea- putting me in a dress- it’s so creative!”

At that Roman frowned.

“You okay?”

The prince nodded.

“Kiddo?”

“Pe-o-ple never like Big me’s- never like Big me’s ideas.”

He blinked.

Oh.

___________________

Ooooh, shits about to go down.

No shit.

Do you mean ‘no shit Sherlock.’?

Please don’t bring that back.

Too late! ____________________

“I’m sure that’s not true…”

“It is.”

Roman didn’t want to ruin the happy mood, but decided to be blunt. Big him never tried to show he needed help, so he would.

Mama Lo had said that it was okay.

“Big me tries! But no one c- but no one cares!”

The prince was standing now.

“He always comes up- always comes up with big lists o’ ida’s, but no no no! Bad bad bad!”

Roman knew Big him always put on a mask, but it was so hard to keep it all the time!

He was only (not even) two!

He couldn’t deal with that level of stress!

“Mama an’ VeeVee hate them! Big me’s always tryin’ change the ida’s for them! No fair!”

His eyes were glowing.

“An’ you! An’ you…”

There were golden tears streaming down the princely side’s face as he collapsed onto the floor. Surprisingly enough, he seemed older than he had been before. The rant had been good for him.

…

Patton sank down on his knees next to the sobbing royal, who, when he felt the moral side’s hand on his back, stopped crying immediately.

But he needs to cry…

Patton didn’t know what to do. Because for the first time, he realised that Roman needed help. And support. And comfort.

But not for the reasons he had thought.

And so Patton hugged the scaled down side, long and hard.

Screw the speech, this would have to come from the heart.

“I’m sorry Roman. We’ll do better. I’ll do better. I might not understand now, and maybe I never will, but I will do whatever I can to help you. I’ll try. I promise.”

Roman nodded.

But still didn’t cry.

______________________

They spent a few minutes like that.

Roman knew he would have broken down eventually, but he didn’t think it would be now. Or to Patton.

But he felt a lot better.

And so the five year old prince clung tightly to the fatherly side.

There was so much more, but Papa Patton had said that even if he didn’t understand, he’d be there. That had been a reassurance he hadn’t known he needed.

And then there was a knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

Janus.

______________________

Thank you for reading this extremely late chapter of the Petite Prince! My motivation really waned throughout the past few weeks, so thanks for waiting for this.

I also want to say, Patton being the side Roman first breaks down to was a surprise to me, too. It just felt appropriate in the moment.

I am also feeling kind of iffy with the part after ‘no shit, Sherlock’, the mood just changed completely.

(Also, this may sound odd, but Roman’s eyes are still glowing. It will be relevant!)