#cant even drink bc i have to drive so much

[extractionjoint]

idk if its a blessing or a curse that im too much a stingey bastard to spend on smokes bc if i werent i'd be smoking daily

[possum-tooth]

at the gay bar w my bfs friend. looking at the gay people. feeling at home.

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

Lovesick Alastor headcannons? also can it be slight yandere coded, with a AFAB reader? would also like this to be in the 60’s AU, if that’s okay!!

A/n: 60’s? Alastor? Yandere? The killer is literally having all the cards in his favor rn 😨😨 !! But don’t worry bby I like this thought, AND HE’S LOVESICK??? 10/10 delulu thought bc we all know Alastor wouldn’t be like this ( but yk, I feed into my delusions, so today he’s gonna be a lovesick mf thank you 😝 ) Also, HUMAN ALASTOR BECAUSE THE GIRLIES THAT LOVE HIM JUST AS MUCH AS I DO MUST BE FED !!!!!

𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: yandere themes! Unhealthy obsession! NSFW ahead! Reader is headcannoned as AFAB but can be read otherwise! Mentions of race & segregation! Mentions of drinking & smoking!

ੈ✩‧₊˚𝙉𝘼𝙑𝙄𝙂𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝙈𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *

Songs you can play while listening: We’ll meet Again By Vera Lyn. Lovefool by the Cardigans. Try a Little Tenderness By Otis Redding ( or Frank Sinatra however you see fit ). Come Fly with me by Frank Sinatra. These Arms of Mine by Otis Redding. Are you lonesome tonight by Elvis Presley. Strangers in the night by Frank Sinatra. Cant help falling in love by Elvis Presley.

⋆˚✿˖° 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑶𝑳 ⋆˚✿˖°

Lovesick Alastor would include….

A large sum of gifts

dancing to elvis

Have a ton of bouquets your not sure what to do

Having to go out of the city to a smaller town so you two can have some sort of privacy

alastor gets into more ‘white’ bars than people expect and only because of his status, it deeply bothers him

Dancing to frank sinatra >>>

he takes you dancing a lot, like a WHOLE LOT

drive ins a are a must, and it’s always so romantic, even if it’s simple you know? he usually parks away from other people to make it more private

make out sessions in his car at said drive in

he really likes getting milk shakes with you

attends elvis shows with you and you both just stand really close to the divider so when it eventually breaks you two are already so close together

having to sneak around at night so you two don’t get caught with one another

adoring his mother and her cooking

ALASTOR WITH A FANCY CAR >>>>>

alastor kills anyone he sees interact with you while you’re at work, or just anyone he doesn’t like near you in general

kills your neighbor because he saw alastor leaving your house ( you will never know )

Alastor likes helping you pick dresses and do your hair, he also learnt a lot from his mother in this aspect

sewing together >>>

you two often sit by the river together sometimes even late at night

he loves when you run to him scared about the killer in the area, he thinks it’s ironic and funny

would do anything and everything for you

helps fix your house, he’s very handy

secretly envies the younger children with fathers that actually talk to them

[enden-k]

From someone that had no idea what slow damage was and literally just enjoys your art. The Rei drawing just threw me in a spiral. It gives me so much gender euphoria because the way you draw him (again no idea how he looks ingame) is literally how i wanna look (transmasc here just for context). Im squealing i need to check it out now definitly. So thank you, officially infected me with the brain rot.

Btw Youri gives me the same feeling just to for my inner edgy teenager that never lost the "emo phase"

-🐉

ohh uhh i def should give a warning. slow damage is a 18+ BL game and contains lots of sensitive dark themes (nitro chiral is known for making dark content BL VNs), my bby towa alone is a walking warning for himself since he desires violence and pain (it comes from his past he doesnt remember) and enjoys getting hurt and injured no matter in fights or in bed (which happens a lot that it even gets funny sometimes when hes just roaming the streets and some rando slashes him out of nowhere, he lit gets into stuff against his will and is like "ye i got stabbed again" all unbothered when taku patches him up AHHAHHA)

the game contains (obviously graphic sex), graphic injuries/body harm, physical/sexual violence, self harm (towa just cant stop getting hurt/hurting himself); ill add more warnings under the cut, please do read if you consider playing so you know what will await you

all the sensitive stuff aside, it def has fun/lighter moments. rei is a mother hen who can kick ass and look pretty (DONT LOOK AT HIS EUPHORIA END, euphoria end rei is not real he cant hurt us) - he has the biggest sweet tooth, drives a motorcycle, loves deathmatches, works part time at the clinic and the bar, does body art as a hobby, absolutely loves towas art and fusses over him all the time and is the sweetest boyfriend you can have (i love him a lot)

also this is so funny you say that bc i created youri when i was lit in my own emo era as a teen AHHAHAHAH

anw some routes contain themes like suicidal ideation (rei and madarame), assault, human trafficking, drugs (taku), grooming (taku), body dysmorphia (rei; at some point in the past he and towa tried to cut off his dick), child abuse/assault and pedophilia (mentioned in asakura chapter and towas past, no one is committing it), imprisonment (madarame), dubcon - i didnt play fujieda route (final/true route) yet but i already heard its a sad chapter bc towas past gets uncovered so theres def more warnings for that bc this boy can fit so much trauma. so much

towa barely eats/drinks and prefers cigarettes and alcohol over food; so naturally theres lots of alcohol. theres also a few times where he theres a shrill ringing noise when hes having dreams, i dunno if ppl are sensitive to that but better mention it

each route has a euphoria ending (good) and madness ending (bad); i saved the madness ones for later so i cant tell how much worse those get jkfbk

[vivaladicamillo]

DRUNK!BRANDON DICAMILLO/GN!READER

im on a roll so ima js write until i cant no more, dico brain rot has been so bad so heres a little dico drabble ;))) enjoyyyyy

WARNINGS: drunkness, alcohol mentioned ofc, dico

———————————————————

one night you were at home. You and the so called “cky crew” had been friends since highschool, u were in the same grade as jess, ryan and dico so u all js kinda bonded. U were in ur 20s now, things were different bc u guys were adults, parties, drinking, sex, it was more common and less exciting. the guys decided to go out and have a “boys night” leaving u and ur cat alone at home, watching ur favorite movie. u ended up falling asleep on the couch only to be woken up around 3:35am by a loud knock at ur door.

u get up half asleep and wobble to the door, wearing only pajamas. u open the door to find bam, ryan and a very obviously drunk dico clinging onto bam for dear life.

bam giggles “yo you gotta take bran hes fucked!”

bam was also drunk but u can tell not as much

“what…” you says groggily

“js take him hes drooling on me!!!” bam shoved him towards you like a ragdoll and he bumps into you, swaying.

bam and ryan leave, ryan driving them away and now u have a drunk dico in ur home.

“y/nnnbnn hiiii!” he slurs, he gives a big goofy smile, cheeks flushes and eyes dilated, oh yea he was FUCKED alright

“hey brandon r u ok? u need some water?” you ask looking at his face

“hmmm ill take another beer!” he says and laughs

u shake ur head and yawn “here sit down and ill get u some water.”

you walk him over to your couch, sitting him down as u walk to the kitchen.

“ayeee what r we watching??” he gasps “i know what we can watch!! u got masters of the universe recorded oh god…i wanna watch ittt.” he starts to ramble as u run a cup under the tap and fill it up

ur cat gives him the stink eye as it watches him ramble, dico looks at it and starts mocking it jokingly. as soon as u walked in and saw him meowing at ur cat u knew it was over.

“listen im gonna go set up my bed, u can sleep in there if u want, or i cant set u up on the couch, im js exhausted right now.” u chuckle ad he looks at u with that wide eyed stare he always does

“hmmmm ill take the bed!” he puts his finger up and you laugh

“ok, come on big guy lets take u to bed.” you put ur hand on his shoulder, still carrying the water as u guide him to your room. he wraps his arm around you getting really comfortable

“wow i can believe ur taking me to bed…” he smirks going to make an obvious sex joke

“yea my bed, alone.” u smile back

the two of u make it to your room and he watches u make the bed, hands in his pockets, he pulled back and got a lot quieter. you put ur stuffed animals back on your bed and turn to him

“only fit for a king!” u joke and point to the bed, he smiles

“thanks y/n, your the literal best ever, best person ever born, i gotta thank ur mom more often” he chuckles

you nod and go to walk out of the room

“actual wait i have a awkward question…..” he looked a little nervous as she slurred his words

u turn to him and waited for his answer

“wanna sleep together?” he smirked

you stopped and looked at him “what??”

“nonono not like that, i feel bad letting u out on the couch…i dont mind sharing the bed.” he scratched his neck

“u dont have a girlfriend i dont know abt thats gonna jump me for sleeping in the same bed as i right ?” u cross ur arms and smirk, u always had a tiny thing for dico but he was one of ur closest friends, so u kept it underwraps

“i pinky swear!” he holds up his pinky

“fineeee” you agree, he jumps into bed, still fully clothed in jeans and a teeshirt, he even still had hid shoes on!

“BRANDON NO GET UR SHOES OFF MY BED!”

“sorry.” he said in a high pitched voice, taking his shoes off and getting under the covers

you followed suit, getting into bed and making urself comfortable, u felt a little awkward but he was ur best friend so, it wasnt that bad. he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, u knew from the soft snores behind u. shifting in bed, u turn to face him, his pretty sleeping face abt a foot away from your own. u smiled, he really was cute, in his sleep he ended up cuddling u, well by cuddling lazily wrapping an arm around you and then when u try to wiggle away he got u in a bear grip

u didnt mind, u gave up struggling and gave in to sleep, cuddling into his touch as u urself fell asleep

his soft breaths being ur lullaby

god u loved him

———————————————————

HOPE U ENJOYEDDD!! new format bc i wanted this to be more of a story than headcanons, i might make something similar with all the cky guys but idk i guess we will find out :))

[afterhours-system]

omg transbipolar tips please? (if that's ok ofc!) if u do ty sooooo much (and no worries if not! ty anyway 4 being on tumblr :3)

hiii hello :33 heres some transbipolar tips from a cisBP II guything :D

general tips!!

track 👏 your👏 mood 👏!! i'd suggest one mood tracker for the moods/emotions you're actually experiencing (to track progress for example) (i use Daylio, it's great!) & one for the moods/episodes you want to experience! for BP specific moods (mainly depression/mania) i use Bipolar UK!

exaggerate your regular daily moods! if you've been in a good mood all day but suddenly feel a bit down play it up! i've gone from cruising in a very high mood (perhaps even bordering on hypomanic) to absolutely crashing for days because of one bad mood swing :P

hypomania & mania tips!!! (note: ive yet to experience a 100% manic episode, so i dont have as much personal experience there!)

hypomania: hypomania is characterized, for me, by very very high energy, high productivity (but never finishing anything), lots of inspiration & creative drive and feeling wayyy more social than usual!

also, completely losing track of my finances, needing less sleep (like. 2-3hrs & i feel well rested where i usually need 8-9,,), less need for food, almost no actual feelings of hunger (once in a month long ep i only ate One Piece Of Bread per day with the occasional (once a week max) pizza & was "fine") & being more open to drinking (and/or considering trying to get my hands on 'harder' stuff like psychedelics) where i usually straight up dont like alcohol!

i'd recommend going off of what's alr there for you; so if you notice you've been in a pretty good mood recently, say that's a hypomanic episode now! go out a lot (clubbing if you want to/can!), make efforts to meet new ppl & make friends, be very motivated & high energy and do everything (and i mean everything!) in excess (talk fast af & never stop talking, be restless and pace around, constanty occupy yourself w/ smth bcs otherwise you'll be understimulated af)

for mania: crank up everything about hypomania by about 300%. it's like there's a million bees inside your bones, you feel restless cant be still do a thousand things in a day, lose all sense of responsibility & become extremely reckless, either due to your extremely elevated mood or because of delusions or other psychotic symptoms.

oh yeah, psychosis! in a mixed ep i spent a day convinced i had somehow accidentally ingested alcohol (i hadnt)! intrusive thoughts, extreme anxiety around it, physical, olfactory & taste-based hallucinations around it, the whole package.

other BP based psychosis ive experienced: visual hallucinations (insects & spiders for me), jumbled & rapid thoughts (it felt different to adhd fast thoughts it was so weird lol)

see this article (link) for other psychotic symptoms during manic (or depressive!) episodes in pwBP!

i'd probably recommend "picking a theme" for delusions & halluciantions & the like, to make it easier to focus on them? tho i havent experienced psychosis enough to know if i have a 'theme' :P

depressive episodes!!

my least favorite (also, i feel like more things are known abt depression) (ALSO- i have seasonal affective disorder too which influences my BP episodes)

depressive episodes mean extreme lethargy for me. im tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep i get (& i'll be getting way more than usual. 10-12 hrs on average with the occasional 13 hrs 🥶).

very little movement. physical, mental, emotional, metaphyical. i often get stuck in bed, if not physically then mentally. spending my day anywhere but in my bed will feel weird & wrong. i will feel pretty numb/wont have access to my emotions anymore & often compltely stop thinking abt & processing my day-to-day life

^ this usually results in strong amnesia around depressive episodes but that might be a plural thing so. take it w a grain of salt lol

depressive episodes also make me self isolate as fuck. im talking forgoing my physical needs if theres a Chance i'll run into my roommate.

oh, yeah, also i just stop taking care of my basic physical as well as i do when balanced. i need to be starving to be able to get up & eat smth, & god forbid i want to actually cook smth rather than eating frozen pizza or eating out/ordering in

i also usually stop doing anything more creative than daydreaming (hashtag immersive daydreaming gang/silly) but even those are less immersive and less frequent. i'll be artblocked 24/7, have no inspiration or motivation and probably wont even miss drawing :P

& thats it! i hope you can find smth usefull in my rambling :3c /gen

and good luck & have fun with your transition!! you have my full support :D /gen

[ggukiepie]

bts as f1 drivers

namjoon

retired f1 driver

was about to get his first world championship, youngest on the grid, but he crashed and was in a critical condition

oc is his high school sweetheart and by the time joon was in f1 they were happily married with 1 kid

joon quit being a driver after he recovered

didn’t want to risk his life and leave his family behind

he’s the team principal now and is way better at it than being a driver

seokjin

won 6 world championships, people said he’s past his prime and that he peaked, was supposed to retire but because of that comment he won his 7th title just for shits and giggles

joon’s former teammate

oc is his childhood friend, she watches some gps but not all because she has work

jin is attached to her like crazy, needs her to calm him down before a race

slow burn, childhood friends to lovers

yoongi

doesn’t know how he ended up in f1

just likes racing then suddenly he has 1 world championship

didn’t mean to win

he just wants to open a restobar (inspired by yuki ig 😭)

oc is the social media manager of the team; the public is always so surprised because during races and anywhere else he’s always 😐 but in videos he’s ☺️

workmates (?) to lovers, tho oc is a bit hesitant bc what if they don’t work out we’re in the same team it’s going to be awkward

hoseok

very risky and fierce driver

but off track he’s so friendly, mr congeniality then boom he drives so close to one car and they go off track

him and oc are vvvv toxic, on off relationship

and whenever they’re broken up hobi takes it out on the race, after a win he’s always looking for oc

a lot of the other drivers complain about him bc he plays dirty but he gets away with it

stewards always only give him a warning lmao or some small ass fine that’s like..spare change to him

jimin

he’s on his third year, trying to win his first world championship

prev season - sometimes he wins but most of the time he would lose to long time rival slash bff kim taehyung

oc is…she kinda a homie hopper

a fuck girl

but oc hasn’t slept with neither tae nor jimin, but they’re both on her radar

theyre all friends

tae and jimin make a bet whoever has more points at the end of the season gets to have oc

oc knows abt the bet ofc

soooo much sexual tension

goes out on dates w tae and jimin (separately), but nothing more

oc has no sexual tension w tae

then she actually starts to fall for jimin, jimin feels the same but they’re both weirded out bc they haven’t even had sex yet they’re falling for eo; they’re both emotionally constipated

jimin wins his first world championship yay

“yeah tae i get the trophy and the girl”

pisses oc off like oh i thought we had something going on something real but thats how you see me

angst, they don’t talk to eo for a while

then they reconcile, happy ending

taehyung

year after the bet with jimin

fourth year, really focused on getting his first world championship, he has more podiums than wins

super frustrated

starts getting his act together—drinking only to socialize, not much partying, no more sleeping around, always at HQ to workout, strategize, or practice

tae is super focused then boom season starts and he’s confused why is there a beautiful girl in the workshop tinkering with my race engineer ???? on my car ????

tae is a nepo baby but his parents don’t care about him, he’s super close to his race engineer

they talk a lot on the radio (engineer and tae) and have great communication; tae looks up to him a lot

then he’s like oh oc is always there and she knows a lot about f1 and he’s trying so soooo hard to just be friends

eventually they just get together

secretly bc “my father is the engineer whom you respect v much, tae”

tae fumbles during one race, crashes and retires from the race early

everyone is so worried bc the car spins in the air and crashes and they dont hear from tae but he’s ok and he gets back to hq oc cant help it she hugs him

dad sees and is furious

angst

happy ending

jungkook

rookie of the year without a doubt

idol is kim seokjin

trained by joon

wants to win his first world championship in his first year

which is impossible but go big or go home ig; jk is very ambitious

so handsome so cocky all the ladies want him

oc is an f1 reporter and ofc when she interviews jk..yeah

heart eyes

jk is such a flirt then he finds himself looking for her everywhere

takes her on a hot lap

oc keeps making jk chase her but also she’s not sure if his intentions are real or he’s just being a player but also she wants to remain professional

so she tells him to stop whatever he’s doing and jk gives her space then oc realizes like oh i kinda miss him

they get together after jk’s first season, he finishes like p6 or p5

.

.

a/n: yeah had this in my notes for theeee longest time, i don’t think im ever gonna write any of these so might as well post it !! for all the f1 fans out there 🫶🏽

[thelavendercatalogue]

Jigen showing up to Fujiko’s hotel door drunk

Fukijo opening the door and there’s Jigen leaning against the door frame disheveled holding a liquor bottle in his hand

him not even wearing his hat So even his hair is all disheveled and in his face

He’s so drunk he doesn’t even care he doesn’t have his hat

He shows up drunk and the two of them get into an argument, but it seems like a forced argument, one sided, he’s initiating it and Fujiko thinks it’s just cause he’s drunk so she pays it no heed. Until he says something, and it’s something that makes Fujiko think he wants to be slapped

And he does, Fujiko raises her hand, and he anticipates a slap to the face – he wanted to be slapped in the face. Anything. Just give me anything please he pleads in his head anything to let me feel something

But a slap doesn’t come Instead something else comes

The hand instead rests on his cheek. It palms at it, soft and gentle, her thumb stroking his cheek, her fingers sliding up the hard slope of his jaw through his facial hair. And it comes as such a shock, he doesn’t even manage to restrain the weak moan that tears through his throat.

His legs buckled, suddenly unable to hold his weight. Fujiko follows him down, her free hand reaching to give the other side of his face the same attention. She sits on her knees across from him, holding his face in her hands.

His own hands fall on top of hers, keeping her palms flush to his face. His throat feels tight and constricted. When he finally opens his eyes his vision is so blurry and watery he can barely see anything except her outline glowing in lamp light.

Him holding her palms to his face, it feels like his skin is on fire. But the warmth isn’t painful, it’s comforting, like a newly discovered second skin. He moans softly when her nails scratch his side burns, the touch electrifying. Her smell is gratifying.

she feels like home . . .

Them just sitting on the floor, Jigens head in Fujiko’s hands and she just asks him what’s been up with him cause even she has never seen him like this

And he doesn’t even know how to answer it

Him instead leaning against her, full weight. Quiet, his throat and eyes are burning, his skull pounding. But her touch is so cool

Jigen is touch starved, he never noticed just how much though

I imagine Jigen has been touch starved for years, and finding out Lupin could touch him just enough to take away that empty feeling. With him gone the empty feeling is back and nothing he tries has filled it. Not the drinking, nothing

The moment Fujiko and him hook up is the first time after Lupin is admitted, Jigen is lead to believe it’s the sex his body craves, not the touch of someone else, like some new hyper-drive in his sex-drive. It’s why he goes to her for "companionship" when he’s drunk.

When Fujiko touches his face however, he realizes it is the touch his body craves, not just the outcome that comes with it, cause the moment she cradles his face, he nearly disintegrates cause finally his body has what it’s been craving since this all started

Because Jigen usually hides how touch starved he is but when hes hungover and feels like death he gives up the act. Him nearly crying when Fujiko cradles his face and lightly scratches his facial hair.

he misses lupin soso bad

He gets so touch starved bc usually lupin cant keep his hands off of him and jigen never realized how much he loved that until lupin got hospitalized

Lupins been out of commission for a bit by now, but to Jigen it might as well have been eons. He’s so starved for physical affection that the moment Fujiko removes her hands for just a second to move them someplace else on his back, it was like his own being shrivels up and dies. The steady hands on contact was what he needed what he craved and he would never have any idea as to why Fujiko would be his go too for that contact, but she is. She is and something about the way she touches him is perfect and he doesn’t understand why

Even now. Even after being through everything they’ve been through and done together, he doesn’t understand why

why her why this woman in particular, what was it about her

Maybe they sit like that for a few minutes, maybe a few hours, in any case, it’s for a while and long enough that by the end Fujiko has his head in some sort of reverse soft headlock, Jigen is clutching her arm and he goes still after a while and as it turns out he fell asleep

imo jigen would feel kinda conflicted about the situation

like he knows that lupin's all for it but nevertheless something inside him is telling him that he shouldn't be doing any of this

Maybe he can’t understand why deep down he feels conflicted, but also how deep down he enjoys this all. Maybe he just can’t accept how much in common the two of them really have. Even if their minor things.

Maybe. It’s also because

He doesn’t understand why he feels things for a woman who keeps taking Lupin away from him. Maybe part of him has come to realize

That if he allows this to happen, he’ll also grow closer to Lupin.

Just like the night when he showed up to tell her about Lupin, Fujiko slips her hands under his shirt and rubs his back, since he seems to like that

She realizes that he is utterly touch starved and desperate for affection. He’s desperate for any sort of physical attention atm cause he can’t get it from the one person who he truly wants it from.

She touches him and he actually jumps, under her fingers, before pushing back against her hands as she slides them up to his shoulders, only to drag her nails down

Jigen falls asleep with his head on her lap, and she doesnt stop running fingers through his hair

[ladysophiebeckett]

imagine ur some french guy who got dumped by unknown colombian woman and now ur living ur khaki life on the coast of cartagena and ur friend catalina comes down to work on colombia's beauty pageant and brings with her a severely depressed assistant with enormous glasses and gelled down bangs. and ur friend is like 'hey help me cheer my assistant up she's going through it' and ur like 'okay sure whatever' and as pageant week continues u discover that ur friend's assistant has a forehead and giant eyes and damn she's cute actually. u and her are getting along great. yeah u tried to kiss her and she rejected u but it's probably bc she's just shy. pageant week ends and she leaves but she'll probably call u right? weeks go by and ur channel surfing on ur tv by the beach and u see her--ur friend's newly beautiful assistant only she's not an assistant anymore. she's launching a fashion line on tv with all sorts of famous ppl around her. u thought she was a beach girl and that she wasn't really into fashion. that's so weird.

anyway, u call ur friend and ask about her now beautiful Not assistant anymore friend and u learn she's president of some company you've never heard of and that its not a permanent job and ur like oh?? suddenly u remember ur business plan with some other ppl about colonizing the cartagena coastline with some chain restaurants and ur like like 'well.....before i waste money on putting a job ad in the Colombian Times i may as well....offer a managing job to a woman who already has a job that i only knew for 1 week but when u get to this company that youve never heard of until two days ago (bc u didnt call the woman u wanted to see ahead of time) u catch her by surprise when she's yelling at an employee. these polluted, busy cities, u think--they always change u : ( but not to worry! u offer a beach life job to this woman ur pretty sure u know well, of course u tell her she wont be getting paid the same as she is now as president of a company. but its okay bc the cost living is different at the beach <3 but when u mention her previous employer in a negative way her giant eyes get darker and she kind of looks at u funny.

u try to distract her by describing the ocean again. then u drive her car to her house to meet her parents bc that's a normal thing to do with a woman youve known for a week. her parents like u and u think all u need is one dinner to close the deal. but right as ur both about to drink the mai tai u made her order, her old boss shows up and sits next to her. and ur very confused. her old boss starts talking about ur job offer and how it's wonderful and ur like 'well yeah' but then he starts talking about the company and how much company loves her and how much the company needs her and ur like 'oh??? Oh'. and then u think to urself--'maybe i should have put an ad in the paper' bc it looks like someone's already in the boss\employee fall in love trope and its def not u. ur date-not-date is ruined even tho she tells u she does want ur low paying job. weeks go by and ur colonizing chain restaurant friends have already hired someone for the position u were offering to some woman u only knew a week but bc u like to suffer, u call her and she's like 'michel?? oh hey. no i wont be taking ur job offer. but thank u for thinking of me. sorry, i cant talk right now, im on my way to a dress fitting. ciao. 'dress fitting? must be busy with another fashion launch'. she never calls u back. oh well. at least u have those free ocean sounds.

[frickfrackchickenstack]

sigma with 👻📓😶 for the ask game!

ahh ty!!

👻: I have a lighter one and more painful one, depending on ur current angst level!

light: i imagine sigma as afraid of the dark! not necessarily the dark, more the illusions and hallucinations that eyes can play when you're not fully rested. he sees smth in the corner of his eye, panics, and sees in the light that it was a plushie or smth. i also hc that he has something called visual snow (which is common in ppl w migraines and/or people with autism iirc), which specifically is a bit blocky and the dots resemble peoples memories to him than actual snow or static.

not so light: honestly? his own sense of identity. this lad has been on autopilot since he gained consciousness three years ago - he gave himself the name of sigma (sum, and in linguistics references the symbols that form an alphabet), but we don't really get too too much of an explanation for it - sigma doesn't even seem to know of it, himself. basically, i think there's an unconscious part of sigma that yearns to keep being in alert/panic mode, bc the thing he desires so desperately is (not only smth he has to make for himself but also) his greatest fear and vulnerability. he wants his existence to be cut and dry, to have purpose - but to be fulfilled, he will have to fully uncover his own sense of identity. basically this bitch traumatized and i think will crumble if left to his own devices in a chill place <3

📓: i like to think that sigma eventually takes up sewing and making their own clothes! with the kind of styles he seems to gravitate towards, along with the assumption that if he joins the ada his salary wont be that high, id like to imagine he starts creating stuff for himself to wear! it may be messy and flashy, but it helps him explore what makes him happy. he values people who have goals and drive, and i think him having a hobby that directly involves creation in some form would be perfect for him.

😶: a few for you

i think sigma doesnt drink, he exclusively goes for mocktails and hot chocolate. something incredibly sweet that makes most people stare at him in confusion at his choices

sigma dreams, but has no recollection of whatever he was dreaming about - just the lingering air of tiredness in his body and longing in his heart

he wears genuinely the most jaw dropping fashion at all times - he is a man that desires a level of attention, as if to say "look at me! i mean something!" even as he gets settled into daily life and becomes more comfortable with routine, i think he would always lean to shiny and flashy

until he was brought back to yokohama (eventuallyyyy i hope), he had the worst shower care stuff. sure, the products at the casino were nice, but i bet before that fyodor gave sigma an 18 in 1 and that was that; this would be rectified the moment sigma somehow tells anyone of his shower routine.

speakign of fyodor! i think sigma was incredibly sheltered by fyodor - on purpose, to treat him less of a full person and more as a tool. sigma has to learn not only basic stuff about daily life, like taxes, but also social situations. dear god, this bitch doesn't know how to PeopleTM

sigma isnt too religious, but ironically i could see him being into some level of spiritualism in a different vein from fyodors Christianity; fyodor believes what he cant control is already working in his favor, and sigma more focuses on what he can control.

i have many many more but! u can always request more :3

[potatoesandsunshine]

guess what...its me again. one from your skin, wearing thin - these two fics of yours have like got INTO my brain. yeah i havent seen the source material but i trust you. theres something soooo compelling and ive been trying to get into this kind of weird strange dance of people who kind of hate each other and kind of love each other and both are true and neither is true and yeah i do keep coming back and reading these two bc it kind of exemplifies the form 2 me. cant believe i haven't yet kudosed on ao3. well here is an extra kudos for u. there is a line in my finduilas/denethor/thorongil fic that is a LITTLE bit along these lines and. yeah. i hope that isnt weird and is more the being in conversation across wildly different circumstances that it is in my mind. anyway much love

Perrin glares at him, and Tay reaches forward and rights the wilting geraniums that frame his face. And then, as he goes to pull away, a warm hand clamps around his wrist. Uncontrollable is the wrong word—fury in his eyes, and his fingers tight against Tay’s skin, Perrin is wildly alive. It is not even a surprise when he tugs Tay close and presses a hot kiss to his mouth, in his fiancée’s garden on his wedding day. And maybe it is the wine; or the terrible feeling that the days of their youth are now behind them, to be brought out from behind glass and examined like artifacts before being returned there; or that they are so near Midwinter, and desperate to drive away the dark; or the way Perrin will be Mon’s, soon, and if he kisses her after kissing Tay it is almost as though Tay will be present in the act—whatever the reason, Tay kisses him back for far too long. When they part, Perrin turns away with a stormy look while Tay leans back, panting a little, staring up into the purpling sky. The sun has set. The ceremony will be soon. He dances with Mon during the reception. Tay bows over her hand with a smile as they part after a single song, excruciatingly proper, and proceeds back to his well-appointed guest room to drink himself stupid.

i don’t think it’s weird at all actually i’m super honored and happy that you think of this in conversation with your own writing :) us both working on our triad stories is parallel play to me

Perrin glares at him, and Tay reaches forward and rights the wilting geraniums that frame his face.

okay so i had a rule that i wasn’t going to open the wiki for any star wars thing and i broke that immediately; thankfully, due to The Disney Of It All (this might be directly because of the starcruiser hotel project?) canonically chandrila does have geraniums. i wanted a little bit of flora and fauna, i found my little bit of flora and fauna. and it was soooo funny to imagine young perrin in a flower crown.

And then, as he goes to pull away, a warm hand clamps around his wrist. Uncontrollable is the wrong word—fury in his eyes, and his fingers tight against Tay’s skin, Perrin is wildly alive. It is not even a surprise when he tugs Tay close and presses a hot kiss to his mouth, in his fiancée’s garden on his wedding day. this fic also had to establish that perrin is attractive. tay finds him very very appealing; bad taste personality wise, but it’s like... their lives are so constrained, meeting someone who wants to make you bleed and doesn’t care how he gets there feels like a revelation. this particular passage owes a little bit to off to the races by lana del rey: Because I'm crazy, baby / I need you to come here and save me / I'm your little scarlet, starlet, singin' in the garden / Kiss me on my open mouth. make bad choices. kiss your fiancee’s almost-lover in her backyard on your wedding day. perrin is great because he’s a catalyst for sooooo much stuff that happens with these three. he’s the one willing to say ‘no, fuck this, i’m taking what i want’.

And maybe it is the wine; or the terrible feeling that the days of their youth are now behind them, to be brought out from behind glass and examined like artifacts before being returned there; or that they are so near Midwinter, and desperate to drive away the dark; or the way Perrin will be Mon’s, soon, and if he kisses her after kissing Tay it is almost as though Tay will be present in the act—whatever the reason, Tay kisses him back for far too long.

it’s like this. if this was a fantasy setting and for some reason they needed someone to witness the consummation of the marriage from behind a curtain, tay would kill to be that man. he’s not somehow apart from this situation; all three of these characters are actors, none are victims. and hell, growing up is so terrible for them. they’re all way too young to be expected to be adults. ‘the days of their youth are now behind them’ and tay is the oldest and he’s like seventeen in this scene. it’s fucked. throw the whole chandrila away.

When they part, Perrin turns away with a stormy look while Tay leans back, panting a little, staring up into the purpling sky. The sun has set. The ceremony will be soon.

tay gets to have his ‘i’m being swept away’ romance novel protagonist moment. that’s a fun treat for him. this little rebellion from perrin wasn’t a decisive move that changed history; he’s still going to get married in an hour. it’s not that it was futile, but it only served to give him his first bit of ammunition against mon—very ‘i kissed your boyfriend and you never got to’.

He dances with Mon during the reception. Tay bows over her hand with a smile as they part after a single song, excruciatingly proper, and proceeds back to his well-appointed guest room to drink himself stupid.

again, tay isn’t going to break into their room. he’s not going to climb up to the balcony! he’s going to mope around like a sad dog about it, then see them in twenty years and then wreck his life and maybe die. he’s very doomed. i know you haven’t seen the show but i am convinced he is going to die.

thanks again!!!!!!!!

[bunnihearted]

since i have such deeprooted issues w my body image and eating nd food i feel like ashamed of saying it but omg im thinking abt food constantly now.... i miss unhealthy stuff yeah, but i cant even have stir fry w a shit ton of broccoli nd cauliflower nd carrot which is one of my fav things to eat. i cant eat anything without pain and nausea and that sucks so much. in 50 hours i have eaten one small portion of oatmeal nd one potato like im so fkn hungry nd im obsessively thinking abt food it drives me crazy. i cant even sit down and drink a cup of green lemon tea!!!!!!!!! soooo just had to complain abt this a little bc even if im trying not to think abt it, trying to be like well at least a surgery will most likely fix it i just have to wait, im like.... so exhausted so weak so hungry thinking abt food constantly :( </33

[core4writes]

𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮//georgenotfound

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀：𝗀𝖾𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 

𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌：𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍，𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗅𝖼𝗈𝗁𝗈𝗅

𝖳𝗁𝗂𝗋𝖽 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗉𝗈𝗏

𝐚/𝐧: i felt like an emotional baby today so here is this. 𝖠𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖼 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗁𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗌. (BTW ENDING IS RUSHED BC I HAVE 0 MOTIVATION)

🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚🜚

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, You may kiss the bride." A tear swells up in my eyes as i watch him pity kiss the bride, even though it was a pity kiss it still hurt me to know the man i loved is up there with my best friend, paige. kissing her....marrying her. "are you still staying for the reception y/n? i heard there is cocktails." a woman said sitting beside me who happens to be y/n's friend, taylor.

"why did i even come here?" y/n says as my eyes are glued to the married couple walking down the aisle. "for paige remember." i take a second to remember to even come to this shit show in the first place, how did i even get hear, why did i let the man i loved slip away, was it my fault?

*flashback four years ago*

"oh come on y/n, just go with us it will be fun." my friend taylor try's to convince me, it's 12:30 a.m, were are sitting at my dorm room, i have to turn this assignment in by 7:00 a.m and they expect me to go to a stupid frat party with them. "listen y/n there are a lot cool people so you dont have to worry about being loser and not fitting in." Paige says with a smile "plus you got us so...well really you have taylor since im going to be making out with jacob." Paige says excitedly knowing that if she gets with jacob then she can go to all the cool party's.

"fine, i guess one party will not hurt me." taylor and Paige fulled with excitement, it all happened in a blur we were driving in a car, we were at the party, we were drinking, and now i'm alone at this party. im sitting on the ugly smelling couch as i watch frat boys play beer pong, and people making  out and socialize. i would look for taylor and Paige but im to drunk to even stand, I fiddle with the red solo cup in my hand.

a boy, a pretty boy stands in front of me. "hello, my name is y/n." slurring my words, "hello, i'm george." he pops right down next to me and smiles lightly, he has two drinks in his hand. "you look pretty lonely over here, so i got to a drink." he handed me a drink that i immediately chugged.

"are you british?" i say drunkenly as i lean on george taking in his cologne, "yes i am-" i cut him off "holy cow, a British frat boy ." he laughs at my drunk state, "holy cow." he mocks. "im not a frat boy, just a boy who happens to get drag to these party's by my friends." i gasp "the same thing happened to  me, my friends wanted me to come and i lost them i dont know where they are." as I was about to continue to rant I felt a uncomfortable pit in my stomach. 

"is everything alright love?" as much as i loved that i didnt have time to blush, i needed to throw up. i stood up and george stood up right after me holding onto my lower back, i started wobbling out the house with george chasing after me. i got out the house just to end up, throwing up in the bushes of the front yard. george seen and ran up to me.

he held my back and with the other hand he patted my back, "its alright, let it all out." his hands soothed my back as i puke, when i done i get up and dust my knees off. "hey lets get you some where private where you can clean off." george said. it all happened in a blur again he took me to his car, he opened his dorm bedroom, he let me take a shower, he let me wear his clothes, he even had to put on the clothes for me and he let me sleep in his bed all drunk.

The next morning, I wake up to feel a hand around my waist and someones head breathing in the croak off my neck. i shot up, looking over to see a random dark hair boy. he looked familiar, but i cant figure out who he is.

i take a good look at him for awhile till he bats his eyes open, "good morning." he sits up in bed right next to me "good morning," i say back. "did we do anything last night." referencing that we're in the same bed together.

he laughed "no...do you remember anything from last night." he gets up out of bed, he is shirtless. "uh, i wish i could." he pulls a blue t-shirt over his head "well my name is george." he put his hand out for me to shake it.

and a few months later we dated.

than broke up

*present*

me and taylor go to the reception, we are both wear light pink tinted short dresses. it matches the theme of pink rose petals, the party was good but there was something bothering me. not just the fact that my best friend is marrying my ex, but he was staring at me the whole time. as george and his bride cut the wedding cake he was looking at me, when they danced he was looking at me, when they kissed he was looking at me.

i felt bad and under pressured, the way he just had all his attention on me made me feel bad for Paige. i took one last sip of my cocktail and walked out the reception, I would be damned if I let him ruin my mood. i walk down the hallways walking towards the exit, i had to get in my car and get out of there. as i am about to reach the exit i hear my name.

"y/n.."

i turn to see george standing 5 inches away from me, "yes?" i didnt want to see him, this is his wedding day not mine. he comes closer to me and closer. our faces were inches apart now, and he traced my lips with one finger, lightly, lightly, then placed his lips there as if he’d drawn them into being. His lips were warm and soft. i broke the kiss, i had a gut feeling that shit was about to go wrong.

"im sorry george but i cant do this right now." i sigh.

"𝐢 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮." george said.

a/n: yeah im too lazy to finish lol.



[sanchoyo]

up at 1 am shaking like a chihuahua bc i let myself have a soda (have not drank soda regularly in years) (doctor said no caffeine also but I needed it bc i read somewhere it makes midol kick in faster and i dont even know if thats true bc im still in pain also) and since my dog died and my grandmas health has been getting worse and worse too and my mom said she probably wont make it until the end of the year ive been both sad and a little manic.

like it might be the soda or the 1 AM of it all but im like I need to do So Much we are all Mortal . ive never actually lost anyone close to me before my dog and I should feel blessed for that (27 and never having anyone I love die??? wow) but its just filling me with a kind of dread and im like fuck . i need to do More. because everyone is going to Die.

im looking at flights for iceland???? i want to take my mom to iceland. immediately. i need to not be in this country for a few days (she does not have a passport) (passports take months to get back after applying usually) (i only have the card passport so i could also not go anywhere outside of north american countries unless i switched over to a book passport) (i have not even ran this by her because it is 1 am and im up alone) (i am saving for a car and should not be looking at 'best hotels to view the northern lights from in iceland' because I need a car. to drive.) (but she wants to see the northern lights and has never flown on a plane and what if we all die one day before we get to do that????)

(i do not have the money to be justifying this even as a concept. at all. in fact someone needs to take my bank account and lock it down bc ive been on a BAD retail therapy session the past three weeks bc thats what I do when im sad. run myself into credit card debt babey!!) being like this for the past few weeks... it feels a bit like watching someone else do stupid things and i cant control it, and i KNOW im going to be pissed at myself for spending so much later which is so annoying. do I miss having men who buy me things if i even hint at wanting the things?? (does it make me a kind of bad person if I do?? it wasnt really me leading them on. i told them i was a lesbian upfront. i cannot control what grown men do with their wallets, lol)

this is the effect (1) soda has on me. i never have caffeine. i can feel my heartbeat in my spine rn. AAA HOW do ppl regularly drink anything with caffeine serious question. im convinced im actively dying.

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

this is gonna be a long ass rant about my 'friend' feel free to ignore, i just need to get this out somewhere cuz im literally shaking she makes me so mad <3

i have this friend, S, and she always goes on about how we are so close and she loves me and she hopes college (im in the uk so its college for 16-18) doesnt separate us and that we stay close etc etc.

but then shes such a bitch and i rlly dont know why im still friends with her. shes rlly insensitive about sh, i mentioned to her when i was younger that i did it and she was supportive, but now she makes jokes about it all the time and she doesnt know i didnt stop at 13.

i have a lot of family issues, and shes well aware of them, but she always tries to make me feel guilty about stuff e.g my mum has adhd and my younger brother has autism & adhd (im considered a young carer) and they both have physical health issues, so it can take ages for me to be able to leave the house if im getting dropped off. theres no bus that goes direct to her house (and i dont want to have to walk over an hour everytime i see her. i could but adding on the bus journey i would spend about 2 hours travelling just to see her, and she always insists i go to her so it would be rlly unfair. (i cant have friends over due to multiple reasons and omg does she bitch about that. she could still come to my town with me but she never has)) and i cant afford to uber all the time so my mum often drives me but we are late a lot. ive told her countless times that i cant control when i leave since there are so many outside factors out of my hands, and she always complains when im late and says its disrespectful that i dont turn up on time among other things.

shes an only child and lives with both parents who do everything for her, so she cant even begin to understand how stressful basic things can be for me and my family. my dad doesnt live with me (he also is undergoing treatment for brain cancer which she doesnt give a shit about, and even says stuff like "oh well you can still go out even if hes visiting, its not that big of a deal" if i tell her i cant go out cuz hes over on a break from chemo)

now shes mad at me because we are going to a mutual sleepover tmrw and she wanted to host pre drinks (which i honestly think is kinda pointless) with another friend before walking to the sleepover together. i asked my mum if she would take me and she initially said yes, but then she changed her mind because its easier to drop me to the mutual friends house from mine, and she doesnt see the point in driving further just for me to have to walk 30 minutes from S's house anyway. when i told S, she said that i was making excuses cuz i didnt wanna go, and that i dont make enough effort since if it were her she would just go anyway (ofc she would bc her parents do whatever she wants in fear of her having a tantrum). no matter how much i tried to explain that i cant change my mums mind, and that if i walk the 30 minutes to hers and then walk with her back to where i was dropped then 1. thats over an hour i have to walk for with my big overnight bag which i dont rlly wanna do, and 2. we will be late because im getting dropped when the sleepover starts.

she also brought up the fact that im often late to her, and said i shouldnt cancel the night before but i messaged her in the morning and she didnt reply, and also i only found out my mum would take me today so theres nothing i can do???

she tried to excuse it by saying shes frustrated that i cant go, and i told her thats not an excuse to suggest its my fault or to say im making excuses, and she left me on read.

shes such a bitch i cant wait to go to college and never have to see her again shes so self absorbed.

i get that its annoying, dont you think im fucking annoyed and i have to live it. and i havent even listed all the issues in this post. she only cares about how my life effects her, and never once has she checked if im ok despite me saying im stressed. i get shes not obligated to check on me, but she constantly goes on about how she loves me and she really doesnt act like it. even friends that i barely talk to have checked in on me after hearing about my home life.

i rlly do like her, and we could be so close if she was just less self absorbed. i cant bring myself to see her as a real friend, because she cant accept a giant part of my life and it really fucking hurts.

she makes me feel like im a terrible person, but theres nothing i can do to fix it. i fucking wish my life was more normal but its not and it never will be so highlighting that its not normal does nothing but make me feel like shit.

[satoruhour]

I hope you don't mind me asking random questions!

1.) Any words of wisdom you would like to give out?

2.) What's the most craziest thing you've heard so far?

3.) What's something (food, book, toy, etc) from your childhood that you deeply loved and why?

4.) I saw a video last night about space. What's your opinion about space? Are you afraid of it or not?

(These are all the questions I have thus far lol ^^)

hi gigi omg i promised i would answer this the next day but i dipped pleasnenfjfgj im so sorry darling

1. this is going to sound so generic but honestly. just do whatever you’re holding urself back on! ive seen this vid of tyler the creator asking someone “what r you so afraid of?” and the other answering i dont know and he replied “yeah, you don’t even know, so just do it” or smtg along those lines and yes! it may not be super accurate for everyone but first drafts exist it’s called a draft for a reason!!! dont worry about it sounding or looking like crap :> also dress how u want, try a new thing uve always wanted to try and do not care too much. boo hoo i sound like an old person and even im not following my own advice that much but all in good practice

2. “there is no ‘self’” from david hume cause philosophy is driving me insane. and also everything about free will. pleaseeeee save me

3. i love my bolster idk why i need to hug it to fall asleep. i also really love this flask ive been using for a couple of years now bc it reminds me to drink water always ❤️ and also there was this book that i really loved but i cant rmb the name of :( it was a yellow book and sun about a boy escaping a boys’ home or whatever i cant rmb

4. ooh i love space ive had a fixation about it for a while but i havent had the time to properly learn all the terms and phenomenons that go on. i love it tho, it’s really so pretty and terrifying at the same time!! and yes i guess physically id be afraid but seeing it in photos or telescopes is always a very nice treat :3

hello hello!