#cannot believe people read my tags
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
#humans are space orcs#humans in space#earth is a deathworld#earth is space australia#tagging this so that ppl can find it even though the space shit i write about always feels like its in direct opposition to all the pop tag#also my biggest pet peeve in all of writing - all writing. everywhere. not just in fanfic but books and tv and movies too - is when people#write off an injury by saying something like 'oh nothing bad just a couple of scratches some bruising and a minor concussion' like girl WHA#MiNOr ConCuSSioN is such an oxymoron and I hate it so fucking much. like i dont care how minor it was thats still brain damage.#especially when the same character does this more than once. like im sorry ms. but uh. you can no longer read. or talk eloquently. sorry#evidence: my brother has had two 'minor' concussions and now cannot read write or speak without tremendous effort. And like its totally#ruined my ability to watch action shows/movies because now i just sit there and count how many concussions there characters are getting#after a certain point it becomes totally impossible to believe that these guys are able to function. (still fun to watch tho im not a hater
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a sketch for @morningstarwrites again because i simply cannot get their fic out of my mind SOS
#to the person that was talking about how the harp scene had a chokehold on everyone#YES#i froth at the mouth for the harp chapter#harp encounter lives rent free in my mind#i cannot believe ive drawn it twice now#that being said#people who read the tags? yall should send me your favourit osas scenes#for *cough* for no reason#no reason at all#hartradio#hartart#alastor#lucifer morningstar#lucifer magne#radioapple#appleradio#duckiedeer
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)
day 07: free space a happy ending
Wakefulness embraces him so slowly and gently that Steve’s not entirely sure he isn’t dreaming when he sees Eddie lying next to him, watching him with an easy smile as his fingers tap out a slow beat on his pillow. Steve looks at him, blinking away the remnants of sleep, not quite daring to do anything more than that for fear of it being a dream after all, scared that Eddie would disappear if Steve reached out to touch.
But then Eddie’s smile widens. “Good morning, sunshine.”
Steve gasps a little and moves his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear, his breath hitching when Eddie leans into the touch.
“You’re here,” he whispers, his gaze wandering over Eddie’s features, taking it all in and looking for any indication that this is a dream.
Eddie hums. “And you’re pretty.”
It hits him out of nowhere, the open sincerity in Eddie’s voice, the fondness in his eyes, the honesty in everything about him. The love, open and free now — or getting there, at least. It’s still so raw, though, so new, that Steve doesn’t know how to handle it yet.
“Shut up,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath, rolling over to hide his face and the way his cheeks are heating up. He rolls right into Eddie's chest, though, and he's so warm, so close, smells so good that Steve wants nothing more than to bury his face in his neck and stay there for the rest of the morning. Or maybe the rest of his life.
The reflex to pull away is there. The urge to run and hide, to laugh it off, to freeze up and find something else to do, something to occupy his hands and stop them from reaching for Eddie. Years and years of muscle memory telling Steve to leave.
But Eddie's arms come around him, holding him close and pulling him even closer. And Steve breathes him in, remembering that it can be okay. Remembering that they get a chance now.
Remembering the words.
What are you doing?
Changing the world.
So he tries that, too. Changing the world. He tries by winding his arms around Eddie, too, and breathing in again and again, learning that Eddie won't disappear if he does.
Slowly, he dares to move his arms, stroking along Eddie's back in slow, gentle patterns, lulling himself into a safety he hasn't felt in a while. Maybe ever. At some point Eddie begins to hum, and Steve thinks that it's just another one of his audible smiles, inviting Steve and the rest of the world to join in if they're so inclined. But then he detects a familiar melody in the vibrations of Eddie's neck against his skin, and he holds his breath to find out what it is.
His heart jumps when he recognises the song as one he used to listen to on repeat like a lovesick fool around the time his feelings for Eddie turned into something more, something better, something infinitely worse.
It skips and he forgets how to breathe as he lets his hands travel over Eddie's back, slowly and tentatively daring to slip underneath his shirt and touch his skin.
Eddie begins to sing, then, and Steve wonders if he's even been in love with him before, because nothing of what he's ever felt compares to Eddie's gentle, hoarse, sleep-rough voice as he sings Somebody to Steve, to their little bubble, or to the world outside.
"I want somebody to share, share the rest of my lifeShare my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details."
He closes his eyes as he listens, focusing on the vibrations, on the warmth, on the closeness, on how this moment is everything he's never even dared to want. Everything so perfect that he couldn't even dream it up.
Everything. You're everything.
He needs to be closer still, so be buries his nose in Eddie's neck and breathes him in, tangling their legs, filled with a breathless kind of joyful bliss when Eddie's breath hitches, too, and he stumbles over the words of the second verse as Steve tries to climb into his skin.
"I want somebody who cares for me passionatelyWith every thought and with every breath."
You have me, Steve thinks, pressing his lips to Eddie's pulse point. It's not a kiss, not quite. It's something deeper. It's a promise.
Eddie's hands come up to hold him there even as his voice carries through the drumbeat of Steve's heart in his throat, running fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp, making him purr along to the melody.
"But when I'm asleep I want somebodyWho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderlyThough things like this make me sickIn a case like this, I'll get away with it."
When the song ends, Eddie's words faded out, replaced once again by the gentlest silence, Steve feels raw. Vulnerable. Open and exposed. But he also feels safe, and loved, buried in Eddie's skin and held there, as though Eddie is just as scared of fading away as Steve is.
He lifts his head just slightly, enough to meet Eddie's eyes – only to find that they're closed, an expression so serene like Steve has never seen before. Mesmerised and overflowing with affection, he reaches out to trace the line of his brows, down to his cheeks and all the way to his lips, where his eyes are glued for a second.
The thought of kissing Eddie is right there. The opportunity is, too. But he doesn't. He barely dares to move as it is. But he does roll them over the rest of the way until he lies comfortably on top of Eddie, and tucks his head underneath his chin, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers.
"You've got him," he breathes eventually. "That somebody. If you—“
"Yes," Eddie says, his other hand finding its way to the nape of Steve's neck to play with his hair again. "I want."
"Good." It's lame; far from what he wants to say. From what he has already said last night. It feels like they're doing this backwards, starting with the I love you and catching up with the slow build-up afterwards. "Good. Me, too."
"Good," Eddie hums, and there's that smile again that Steve can't help but mirror.
They fall asleep again like that even though it’s already late in the morning; cuddling and holding and cradling each other, still trembling slightly. Maybe that's what changing the world will do to you. Maybe that's the bravery more than the love.
Or maybe it's just Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie. SteveandEddie.
I love you.
~*~
It takes a bit for Steve to relearn loving Eddie. To not associate it with tragedy and sadness and a bone-deep loneliness that'll leave him breathless even on the best of days.
It takes a while for Steve to learn a whole new kind of breathlessness, a whole new kind of aching when it comes to Eddie.
And Eddie's not much better than Steve, pulling away when Steve wants him closer, swallowing his words and needing a second, third, fourth try until he learns that he gets to love Steve now.
Years of unrequited love, or feelings unreturned, of words put out into the universe with no one to receive them, are not easily or quickly unwritten. But every time Steve's breath gets lodged in his throat and he wants to run away, Eddie is right there to remind him of what they can have now. Every time Steve tries to be a little less of who he really is, Eddie is right there to coax him out of his head with gentle touch and a lot of hugs.
Every time Eddie starts to doubt himself and all the ways he makes Steve the happiest person on the planet, Steve is right there with the words he only has for Eddie. Words that don't get stuck anymore. Words that finally get a recipient.
~*~
Their first kiss, the first real kiss, doesn't happen that first morning. They spend the first week only holding each other, barely wanting to let go, hiding their vulnerabilities within each other.
Steve is worried about it at first, seeing Eddie so quiet, so reverent, lacking his usual cheer, his energy and snarky comments. He asks about it one night, ready to prove right that he isn't and can never be enough for him, that all he will do is steal the things that make him Eddie.
Eddie stops then, lifting Steve's chin with a finger when he's too scared, too ashamed, too vulnerable to meet his eyes on his own accord.
"Stevie," Eddie says, his voice so gentle that Steve immediately feels stupid for doubting. "I have loved you for ten years. I've had you for three days. Let me bask in it. Let me be unable to be myself with how absolutely and utterly overcome I am with the knowledge that I have you now. That I get to hold you. That I get to kiss you and keep you and... God. I'm not unhappy. I'm so much the opposite of that that I'm not sure there's a word for it. Other than devoted. Smitten. Bewitched, body and soul."
Steve wants to kiss him then. Almost does, with the way they're just staring at each other, breathing the same air —air that smells like Eddie now. In the end, Eddie just holds him, brushing a kiss to his cheek, his forehead, his temple, and whispers, "Let me bask in it."
And so they do.
Wayne called Eddie not long after with the words, "Chrissy just told me the wedding's off. Please tell me that means what I think it means."
Eddie just blushed, reaching for Steve, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I, uh. I finally talked to Steve."
There was a very loud cheer on the other end that made Steve laugh, falling into Eddie's side, holding him tight, a weight falling off his shoulders knowing that Wayne was okay with them.
You know, I always figured it would be you.
No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me.
It made his eyes sting again, but he basked in the moment and in the knowledge that Wayne was on their side. Always has been, always will be.
"You better come here on Sunday, and bring Robin and Chrissy, too."
"Robs and Chrissy?" Eddie asked.
"Oh, you're in for a treat. I'll see your asses on Sunday, boys."
And with that, he hung up. Steve immediately went to call Robin, hopeful and giddy with Wayne's implication, knowing that Chrissy was Robin's person just like Eddie was his.
"She loves me," Robin said, on the verge of tears, and Steve joined here right then and there. "She's– Steve. She's so– She... God!"
"Yeah," Steve laughed at the ceiling above his bed, grinning because Robin sounded so happy, not even caring that she didn't have the right words for it, because he could hear Chrissy laughing in the background, too. Laughing and saying hi to him and interrupting Robin's ramblings and groans and giggles with kisses that always left her dumbstruck for a good two seconds each time.
When the call ended, he went right back to the living room, where he and Eddie started watching Pride and Prejudice before, and fell right on top of him with a happy, happy smile.
~*~
It happens at Wayne's, exactly one week after Eddie showed up at Steve's in the middle of the night. One week after the phone call. One week after I love you.
It happens in the soft glow of the fairy lights Steve and Eddie helped him put up years ago. I happens after Wayne hugged him tight once more, after he pulled Chrissy to the side and promised her that she's still his kid, that he still loves her, and that he's happy to see her smile like that. After he promised the same to Robin.
It happens when Wayne's inside to refill their drinks and Chrissy and Robin are caught up in each other that they're blind and deaf to the rest of the world. When Steve turns to find Eddie looking at him with the softest, gentlest expression.
"Eddie," he whispers, leaning in to rest their heads together, lacing their fingers and stroking his thumb along Eddie's palm.
"Yeah, baby?"
Baby. It fills him with butterflies, with the urge to scream, to shout from all the rooftops that he loves Eddie, and more importantly, that Eddie loves him back! Baby. Baby.
"I love you."
"Hmm. I love you more."
No, you don't. Just longer. "Can I kiss you?"
He can feel Eddie's little gasp before he leans in even closer, rubbing their noses together, cradling Steve's face with his free hand. "Please," he whispers.
And Steve does. He captures Eddie's lips, pouring into it everything he feels and more. Sealing the promises he's made and all the ones he's yet to make. The promises to love and cherish Eddie. To be brave. To be there. To stay and keep and bask.
It's nothing like their first kiss all those years ago. There is no question behind it this time. Only declarations, only promises, only the beginning of a shared future.
And there are many, many more after this one.
🌷����🌷 THE END 🌷🤍🌷
tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript @hardboiledleggs @estrellami-1 @bisexualdisastersworld @space-invading-pigeon @swimmingbirdrunningrock @y0urnewstepp4r3nt @oxidantdreamboat @spilled-jar @phirex22 @littlemsterious @captaingigglyguinea @animecookie95 @sharingisntkaren @haluton @littlemsterious @animecookie95 @suddenlyinlove @bisexual-bilingual-biped @jinx-nanami @makewavesandwar @scheodingers-muppet @morcantinon @hexdbog @homosexualhomocide13
god i can't believe it's over. i thank you, every one of you, who cheered for me, cried with me, screamed and yelled at me, and stayed with me throughout this past week. i have no words right now other than thank you 🤍🌷 and i hope this is okay
#steddie#steddie fic#steddieweek2023#steddie week fic#i feel like this one's a bit disjointed but i kinda like that about it?? little snippets that make a happy ending you know??#idk i hope you like it too (i always get anxious about endings tbh catch me vibrating out of my skin)#dio words#i cannot believe it is done. i cannot believe what a ride it's been. i'll find the words for it later i think. first we read. and we bask 🤍#morcantinon i am ENDLESSLY sorry i forgot to tag you even after you sent that wonderful ask please forgive me 😭🤍#i also forget a bunch of people who asked in the reblogs but dear god i hope you find this anyway i am all over the place#i will edit this and work in more chrissy/robin when i post it to ao3. but this is steddie week. and these are 15k words of an au#that happened spontaneously and within 2h each night of me flying by the seat of my pants. xD
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Should i like. Be plugging my fics here? Because to be honest i kind of was of the mind that everyone who would care to read the things i write had already seen them
#because im super proud of my cass learns to knit fic#but even compared to the fic that takes place before it not that many people have read it which is ok maybe people aren't interested#like that's fine i cannot express how much it's ok and people don't have to like everything or anything that i write ever#and ive long since made my peace with the fact that the audience for women centric fic in dc is tiny#so to be honest the main reason i dont promote stuff here is because 1. my works are locked to ao3 users#and 2. im very aware that fics about dc women get fewer hits overall by a significant number#so i was kind of figuring that anyone who'd be interested had already read my stuff#but is it like for real the people who'd be interested are as few as i think or is it like. super hard to find the fic#like maybe i'm bad at tagging and writing summaries? which to be clear if i am#i'm not changing the way i do it because i like the way i tag and do summaries#but like damn i do see people wondering about lack of fics and sometimes it's like bbygirl i am trying believe me!!#and the other reason i never started promoting here was because i was scared and honestly i made this account solely to look up d20 fanart#i don't think i want to do the work of promoting my stuff here though#but i think i might have fun with it if it's also like sharing fun behind the scenes or bonus content#much to consider...
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admitting ur a larrie and saying it brought you to your current ship is such a brave personal choice. this comment should be an official diagnosis in the dsm-5.
#ive had this in my drafts for ages but ppl are being weird so im here to be a hater sorry#and this just feels timely with people being attacked for telling people to get reading comprehension#like if ur ever comparing ur ship to larry then plz do some personal reflection#larries are fucking batshit off the wall out of this world unhinged#ships are supposed to be lighthearted and fun and something that makes you happy#i have plenty of fun w max and daniel content#but i cannot keep reading the unhinged levels some people are reaching w l*stappen#it’s transitioning from ‘i like the content and their interactions and ao3!’#into ‘i am inventing evidence and connecting dots and genuinely believe these two men are fucking’ like i fear its not fun and games anymore#this is nothing against l*stappenies themselves at all. keep on keeping on#this is all about the weird ones#theres weirdos in any ship but the number of them keeps increasing w this particular one so i just wanted to say. plz do not be larries.#(sorry for the asterisks like l*stappen is a slur i just dont want it to show up in the tag lol)
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I can't believe y'all almost made me pay to go watch po*r th*ngs in theater without telling me that the whole thing revolves around a hardcore born sexy yesterday trope with a side dish of pseudo necrophilia where a woman with the brain of a litteral foetus who don't have periods or body hair (but do have boobs!) find joy and freedom by having a lot of sex with a bunch of men, shoving a apple up her vagina for some reason and joining a brothel (but it's a cool socialist brothel and all the girls looove being there, don't worry guys), all of that written and directed by two men, I'm never gonna trust you guys after this one lmao
#she also piss on the floor at some point and talks about fucking with the vocabulary of a toddler but i'm supposed to believe it's not sus#lmao ok sure#'there's more to the story than this!' idgaf! 'you're taking it out of context!' idgaf! 'it's actually a feminist story!' no it's not lmao#i cannot let go of the socialist brothel either like wooooow#men are so obsessed with the idea of natural born sex workers it's almost comical#also i cannot comment on the original book since i haven't read it#but apparently a big thing is that at the end it's revealed by the woman character that the male ones where bullshitting...#...about pretty much everything to look smarter and more important than they are#but in this 'feminist' movie they actually do frankenstein the woman and give her a second life fr fr#like aiiiight lmao#btw i truly don't care if you love the movie that's perfectly fine i love plenty of movies with very questionable content#plus i don't think anyone need my approbation to enjoy anything in this world#but boy does it personally gross me out#poor things spoilers#i hope this don't pop in the tag btw#if it does i'm sorry but people who wants to see it *will* complain about being spoil
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i am once again terrified that one day a celebrity i really care about will turn out to have done horrible things
#there are only two people i'm sure i'll never read anything horrible about#and rhys is not even one of them#so yeah i'm terrified#and there's always so much pressure to abandon things you love when it happens#it was easy for me to let harry potter go#real easy#but i refused to give up buffy for instance#because lbr it's a giant team effort and not just joss whedon#and now i'm faced with another choice in my life#and i'll be honest with you i just love neverwhere too much#guess i'll just never talk about it publicly ever again#edit - hey wait this sounds wrong because i was being too vague again#''love it too much'' to do what? stop supporting him?#so to be clear i absolutely will stop supporting him in any financial or meaningful way#but what i believe i cannot do is continue to enjoy the books i already have#and especially the neverwhere audio drama#i will not promote it but neither will i ban it from my life#so that's where i'm at#edit 2 -- ugh ffs i meant to say what i believe i cannot do is STOP enjoying the books i already have#this wouldn't be as embarrassing if i'd gotten my ass out of bed and typed this on my computer instead of my phone#because there i can actually edit tags#neil gaiman
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EVERYONE GO WATCH SHELBY’S LATEST SOS RIGHT NOW (spoilers in my tags)
#sos smp#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#HOLY SHIT GUYS ITS SO CRAZY#I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS#ok i think that’s enough tags that you guys can’t read spoilers#unless you click#I CANNOT BELIEVE. JOEL!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!#i’m ASTOUNDED they had enough coins to bring back all but three people#though i’m MORE astounded it was the exact right number that bringing back 7 people ran them totally dry#but OH MY GOD OH MY GOD#MOGSWAMP FINAL GIRL REAL HE WAS ONE OF THREE PEOPLE WHO SURVIVED THAT BLAST
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Sometimes being autistic makes being in fandom so annoying because I cannot stand people who don't interact with content the same way I do
Like yes, I do believe that everything is open to interpretation. I do believe that everyone should be allowed to ship whatever they want, because it's all made up and you should do what makes you happy
However
My interpretation is correct. My ships are correct. All other ships are disgusting. My headcanons are correct and if you don't agree with them or you have a headcanon that clashes with mine, I wish bug infestations in your house
I know these thoughts are wrong, and I'm being stupid. I know everyone is correct because there is no incorrect answer. But stupid autism dictates that it's MY hyperfixation, so I am automatically correct about it and everyone has to agree with me
I do not like the ship JonElias. I find it very icky. I think that people should be allowed to ship that, if that's what they're into. If I see it or hear about it though, I have to take several minutes away from the Internet and maybe scream a little because it makes me feel so icky. If you ship JonElias, it doesn't matter if you're a cool person or not, it doesn't matter if I have the tag blocked so I don't see it anyways, I literally cannot like you. It's so stupid. I could block a really really cool person just for liking a ship that I don't. It's ridiculous
I'm just. So damn annoyed. I feel bad for the mean thoughts I get about people who have different opinions than me, but I literally can't stop them. It's so frustrating
#and for the life of me#i cannot make myself believe that it's even a LITTLE okay if people want for some reason to ship wincest#it's gross to me#and i know most people who ship it aren't gonna be bad peopel#but stupid autism brain sahs if you ship wincest you're a bad bad person#and once i decide on a ship i like#tgat this the ship. forever.#no multishipping allowed.#no changing the ship.#nope.#it's actually so annoying bc i see so many posts about “ship and let ship” and all that and I'm like#yeah!!! everyone has their own ships!! everyone has their own kinks and likes thejr own tropes!!! they should be allowed to enjoy that!!!!#and the i see a foggyskies fanart#or accidentally read an omegaverse fic bc i missed a tag#and i literally get so angry and grossed out i have to turn off my phone for a while#IT'S SO STUPID THEY'RE MADE UP CHARACTERS LITERALLY WHO CARES#but the answer is me. i care. idk why but i do. and it's entirely stupid.#ugh#anyways#rant#fandom#shipping#shut up mori
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Weird that helaena didn't foresee this btw she has predicted nearly every tragedy that happens to the greens
#the people thinking this is bad bad and criston like umm... didnt they know we won.... NO DUMBASS#they got a bunch of not targaryens in charge and they dont know the lore.... dragons are power my guy#alicent noticing aemond having aegons knife.... girl open your eyes#a silent sister there in the side of the frame just in case akdhaksjsksjs#jace first man to experience mysoginy.... westeros is so progressive#daemon to be the one to end centuries of beef between two houses i cannot believe my eyes#or make it worse.... nevermind#rhaenyra needed a yapping partner mysaria is so needed actually akfhsksk#elisenda (if i remember right) getting sent for war akdjaksn#and who tf is she????#OH!!!!#asking your wife for money for your latest repair project akdhakskskdk#LARYS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!#alicent having to fight for her claim as REGENT against her own fuckass son CHRIST!!!!!#FUCKASS CRISTON!!!!!!#ALICENT THAT MAN IS ONLY EATING BREAD AND WATER FROM NOW ON#THE FUCKASS BALL!!!!!!!!#ALICENT KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!#aemond is the next in line new criston phrase#i did not give you lease(?) to speak my name#BARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAGGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#they want meat!!! hugh said the dragons are meat!!! are they going to eat vhagar???? lmaooooo#sick dungeon meshi reference#SLAY JACEEEE#alys queen.... humble daemon a bit more we nearly got him#HE SAID IT!!! RHAENYRA END THIS MANS RETREAT NOW!!! BAELA READ HIM!!!! YEAAAAHHH BAELAAAAAAA YEAAHHHHHHH AND RHAENA GETS DRIFTMARK#HELAENAAAA YEAAAH SHE KNOWS!!!! AGEON NOTICED HIS MOTHER OHHHHHHH YEAAAAH VERMITHOOOOR SILVER WING!!!! jace and rhaenyra scene god.... yes#talking tag#watching hotd#the jace and rhaenyra scene and that baela and corlys scene which btw gave me chills.... damn thats was so good
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. noncoherent but also thoughts
#i have such mixed feelings on the solas varric save everyone meme#bc on one hand ya that is whats going on in that dialoge but also!! its not!!#solas *is* trying to save everyone from his pov on several levels (the spirits the ancieny elves the modern people too to an extent*)#*the extent being how far he views them as people/everyone being semi dependant on his relationship with the inquisitor i believe#and he is trying this is his third fucking attempt we know of to save everyone#(which of course he will keep trying and keep trying as alone as possible he isnt named pride for no reason he doesnt have a place -#-in the dalish pantheon for no reason)#and then varric..#my god where do i even begin with varric's pov#da2 varric is EXTREMELY you cant save everyone (so why bother to try) and so very much out for himself (and those he cares about -#-bc those are *his* friends and his friends are part of his life)#but for those outside his circle? varric does not give two shits about anyone outside in da2#dai varric has learned over the past 10 years little. imo. he's learned his friends are affected by things he cannot control (hello.) but#he clings to the idea he can control things he can write their (his) story bc if he cant (and he knows he cant its why he tries so hard) -#then its been meaningless the whole time and he's back at square one#varric has learned the you have to try thing the fucking hard way and tbh he doesnt really believe it (at least not in dai)#i REALLY wanna see dav varric and what development he's had (sorry i havent read the comics and probably wont theyre hard for me to see/read#god i wish i could see what my tags are bc i dont remember where i cut several of these off fuck mobile tagging but anyways#i want tosee what direction varric has moved in - his dialogue inthe trailer is deeply interesting to me. specifically. since it does seem#to imply a real shift in his pov but im Suspicious bc while varric has always cared deeply and has been tryung very hard to keep his friends#read his#life comfortable he's really never picked any sort of side in his life varric is deeply centrist bc he benefits from not rocking the boat#(usually.)#(dai trapped him imo and hes not there to save the world by a long shot)#but dav seems to position him into an instigator role a real shake it up and point role#very interesting to me i wanna see where it goes#anyway.#im gonna take more headache meds and open indeed and blow myself up
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humans
i think things are only wonderful once humans have gotten their hands on them. we’re such wonderful, horrible, creative, destructive, imagination-filled creatures. we make dents in wood tables, and cracks in the leather seats of an old car, and paint stains on jeans, and sneakers covered in scuffs and marker. their value isn’t built in, it comes from the fact a human has loved them. they hold the stories of a thousand thousand lives, hands dug deep into the dirt, mud packed under the fingernails, 500 B.C. and 2022 A.D. identical in soul. humans and their urge to shout and sing and spin and dance and cry and laugh. humans and the silly little voices they adopt - squeaky for pets, accented for jokes, quiet and sweet for comfort. humans and the incurable urge we all seem to have to squish ourselves close together; to intertwine our fingers, to wrap our arms around each other and squeeze, to wrestle and tickle and kiss and poke and shove. we hum little songs to ourselves and move our bodies to sounds we find pleasing and splatter colorful goo over blank canvases and pull thread through fabric for no purpose other than joy. we make convoluted games with too many rules to keep a group of our favorite humans in the same space and interacting. we tear each other apart, shoot each other with guns and stab each other with knives and hurt and rape and murder and violate. we’re awful, but we’re still magic in a bottle. we pretend to be new, exciting people on a stage or a camera for humans without that skill to enjoy. we cry when others of our kind die; we mourn them, make a big deal of their return to the earth and visit the bones they’ve left behind. the pitfalls of the human condition would be so much easier to reconcile if it weren’t for the staggering peaks, for all the reasons i find to keep on living to see; we’re so incomprehensibly hard to hate, even when we’re the worst.
#i wrote this at 4am while pondering the existence of my friends#during junior year english i did an entire assignment about an object of my friend’s that didn’t technically exist#at least. not in the way i wrote it#but they are so human and so viscerally in love with life that i could perfectly imagine how their version of this object would look#and i think that’s fucking magical#humans are so insane and i cannot quite believe that people don’t see how beautiful that insanity can be#humans#poetry#creative writing#writing#rambling#writer#writing things#poem#original poem#original work#original content#unoriginal thought#never not read the tags
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(cw grooming mention) TELL ME WHY IM JUST SITTING IN MY ROOM CHILLIN, REMINDED OF MEMORIES FROM EALRY HIGHSCHOOL AND ALL THE SUDDEN HIT LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK THAT I GOT GROOMED AT 14/15
#CW grooming#cw trauma dump#I’m tagging this accordingly so don’t read if you don’t wanna hear about this subject. I just wanna get it out without telling irl people#I cannot fucking believe this. This realization hiT ME LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK WHAT THE SHIT#As a freshman I was friends with this senior. I was learning what it meant to be in queer spaces & learning what queer friendships were lik#And queer friendships that are also Theatre Kid friendships are often very touchy. Lots of behavior that is typically read as romantic#Hand holding cuddling playing with hair etc#So it was a bit like that with this 18 year old senior#They asked me out (in front of all our drama class friends & whatever other students happened to be around)#& I had no idea they had romantic interest so I was shocked. Didn’t know what to do or how to process#I ended up saying no telling them it was b/c I just realized I was queer & wasn’t out & didn’t wanna hide dating from my family#The memories are fuzzy but we kept talking & it still had the overly affectionate queer vibe#And they’d say romantic things to me and I think I’d say things back because I was still in a whole new world of discovering myself#And didn’t know what I was or wasn’t feeling#So when they’d act that way I just felt like I should act that way back#I was so young and immature and didn’t know anything at all about myself. I came from a stuffy conservative background so it was all so new#Then over time they pursued me romantically again and I (again not knowing anything & just taking a shot in the dark) said yes#They were in a relationship at the time too and suggested polyamory#And another red flag was that at one point I referred to their bf to them as “your man” and they said “sweetie that’s our man”#But I had never fucking met this guy!! Never had one conversation with him!!!!#And in actual ethical polyamory there would’ve been a discussion about all of our comfort zones and which of us wanted to be together#But I was just left to guess what the situation was so I assumed that they were dating both of us but he and I weren’t dating eachother#Because again!!!! I didn’t fucking know this man!!!!!!!#But anyway#when we actually “got together” it was all over text and it didn’t last long at all#Because THANK GOD my gut was telling me that something was VERY OFF#so THANK FUCKING GOD I broke up with them over text before I ever hung out with either of them in person post-getting-together#I am so fucking grateful right now that I listened to my gut because I’m sick thinking about how things could’ve gone if it went on longer#I avoided some major fucking trauma by getting out before I’d hung out at all with them in person. Fucking christ#Holy fuck I can’t believe it’s taken me 7 fucking years to fully realize what happened
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Why did the first thing Tumblr suggested to me in the tag when I wrote Juvia was “Ant* Gray-Juvia” and ‘’ant* Juvia’’ DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU’RE TALKING TO ?!
#so said Anti get away from me if you try to start a fight you’re just getting block#censuring so it dosen’t go in the tags#I can’t believe people hate my girl I cannot understand at all 😭#also I can’t believe there’s still people that Don’t believe in this ship just stop reading at this point you’re gonna be disappointed ckbsj#alex.txt
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swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever
#sorry its just that this has happened like twice back to back for me here and im not really a tv show watcher so maybe other people are#better equipped to handle it and THIS ONE WAS STILL GOOD AND FUN except for the last scene. like the literal very last scene.#ridiculous in tone. like i genuinely don't know if they just ran out of time or what#they DEFINITELY ran out of money in the effects budget jesus christ. helloooo greenscreen. hello snapchat app facefilter#like the vfx are kind of hit or miss with this show but the practical effects always went HARD. and this very last scene#i cannot stress enough that this was the very last scene. they were SOOOO CLOSE <3#this last scene just looked so bad. AND IT WAS SO SILLLYYYYYYYY why sunglasses. why were the girls dressed straight out of MADELINEEEE#are there uniforms that actually look like that????#listen i thought it was going to be a BAIT AND SWTICH nightmare kind of thing.#because there was still so much time left in the video but it was just INTERVIEWS or whatever with the directors. DEVASTATING.#WHY DIDNT BEN COME WITH THEM. FUCK#sigh. pointedly not tagging the show name because i do love this show. is it perfect? nah im sure. but i DO love it#and i'm not interested in tearing it apart and reading other people do the same like i just did with The Other Show#like god i can't do that again. my heart can't take it.#david take those sunglasses off. please. for me.#I DIDN'T EVEN NEED CLOSURE ON THIS PLOT THREAD ITS FINE. THEY COULD HAVE ENDED ON THE SCENE BEFORE#i would have made do with that! or just a shot of some plane tickets on kristen's phone and some background noise#of the girls packing! something cute and sweet and implicationy like that we DID NOT NEED THE GREENSCREENNNNNNN#anyway even with what we do have I'm choosing to believe that ben was packing up his stuff and moving out there with them against his bette#judgement. like i know he said something about 'visiting' but he's rolling up his poster i can choose to believe what i want about that#i need to stop typing and thinking about it man i just realized he wasn't wearing his hat this whole episode. did his migraines go away#did i forget that from last episode. also while im complaining i WISH there was more lexis stuff this season she didn't get to be spooky#*capping my pen and throwing it across the room* but there was a lot of stuff i liked.#*gritting my teeth* im going to rewatch the season now.#or i'll just keep replaying the part where ben stumbles over the i love you. worth it just for that. because i am weak of spirit
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oh dear...i am having tumblr problems....i must crawl and beg to the tumblr lords for assistance....woe is me~
#yeah so#my community is hella broken#for starters...though i be an admin...i cannot access any settings for the community#i don't know if that's normal or if that's just just a bug#SECONDLY... despite the community being 'invite only' (something i don't believe i selected myself btw) i am still unable to invite people#when i try...a message pops up saying 'this person cannot be invited yet'.#yet...? YET?? What does that mean dude?? must they complete seven preliminary trials to prove their worthiness???#is it because i just received this community yesterday?? do i need to have posted there a certain number of times???#what is the mysterious criteria that will let my buddies into my unintentionally apparently highly exclusive community???#guh....must discuss with the tumblr lords...#tumblr community#tumblr communities#<-if anyone reads these tags and knows what's up please tell me. i'm clueless.
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