#is it because i just received this community yesterday?? do i need to have posted there a certain number of times???

[nichiperi]

oh dear...i am having tumblr problems....i must crawl and beg to the tumblr lords for assistance....woe is me~

[ekingston]

Hello! So sorry to bother, but have you had any updates on the Word-Stream/Speechify situation?

Just one: like I posted on Xitter and Bluesky last night, as of yesterday afternoon, the links to individual works as they were listed on WordStream are gone from both Google and Bing. Hurray, right? Surely we’re all sick of this whole debacle and there’s far more important things to worry about. If all is well that ends well, surely there’s no need to still be angry.

Well, I am. Here’s why:

When I checked on Wednesday, the links to my own work on WordStream were still listed. So rather than it taking a week after Cliff Weitzman first hid the fanwork from view, it took a little over a week from the moment he first promised privately that they would be deleted. Which, fine. Perhaps Cliff didn’t really know what he was talking about when he gave that timeframe. Or maybe he told a little white lie to create the impression that he always intended to do the right thing. It seems more likely to me, though, that Cliff still believed—even after the backlash he received—that he would get away with honoring only individual takedown requests. Or worse, that he needed just a little bit more time with the stolen material to figure out an alternative way to profit off it—preferably without us noticing, this time.

But who knows? I certainly don’t! All we can do is speculate, because publicly, Cliff Weitzman has remained completely silent on his copyright infringements. All we got was the initial justifications he and his sockpuppet accounts used in comments on the original Reddit and Tumblr posts. After those were so understandably ill-received, Cliff only ever communicated with a few individual authors who contacted him directly and repeatedly, blocking people who addressed the issue on Twitter and quietly distancing himself from WordStream by deleting a blog he’d posted to Speechify.com dated December 20th—where Cliff promoted WordStream’s platform specifically to fanfiction readers. (See my enormous timeline post for details and screenshots of said posts before they were taken down.)

And this is why I’m still angry: As long as Cliff Weitzman faces no real consequences for his actions, he won’t see a need to own up to his mistake; and as long as he’s able to delay taking responsibility, this isn’t over. This didn’t end well.

After all, wasn’t this the next-best scenario for Cliff, second only to him turning WordStream into a (for him) effortless, infinite money-making machine? He took something we provided for free and fed it to AI so he could more easily put it behind a paywall; we found out and protested; Cliff quietly erased all evidence of his crime; and we went—almost equally quietly—away.

I want to make sure you know that I continue to be genuinely amazed and intensely grateful for how quickly the news about WordStream’s copyright infringement was shared—and continues to be shared—throughout fandom, on tumblr in particular. If it hadn’t been for our collective outcry here and on Reddit, WordStream would very likely still be up in its original form, and Weitzman would be reaping the benefits (those subscription prices were steep) today.

But it’s been frustrating to see that, with the exception of mentions in articles on Substack and Fansplaining (the latter of which is a particularly awesome and thorough read on fandom’s decontextualization) and a Fanlore listing, our outrage never really spilled out beyond the safely insulated, out-of-the-way spaces that are tumblr, a handful of subreddits and bluesky. And I believe that—unfortunately—we are collectively responsible for that part, as well.

Most of us seemed content to only spread the word by circulating the same two posts on tumblr. (Have we all given up completely on every other social media platform? Am I the only remaining straggler?) And soon after Cliff Weitzman hid WordStream’s fanfiction category from view, our interest in the issue took a sharp dive even there. Are we genuinely deceived into believing the issue has been fully resolved? Do we truly fail to realize that Weitzman’s refusal to admit that what he did was wrong left the door wide open for the next greed-driven tech bro to wander through? Or is the true naivety in thinking that, as a community, we can keep this kind of attack on fandom from happening again? Has our disillusionment already gotten that bad?

However the situation spins out from here, Cliff’s actions will set a precedent. If we fail to show Cliff and his ilk that attempts to profit off fandom’s unpaid labor have consequences, their tech companies will keep trying until something eventually sticks. They might be a little smarter about it next time; obscure their sources a bit better, maybe leave the titles and the authors’ names off. Or maybe they’ll go a bolder route: maybe next time they cross the line they’ll do it boldly enough for IP holders to take notice and stop tolerating fanwork entirely.

Doesn’t that make you angry, too?

There’s this whole other mess of thoughts I would love to be able to untangle about how commercial influence is contributing to the steady erosion of fandom’s foundations, but I’m tired, and other people have said it all much more eloquently than I ever could. Seriously, go read that article on Fansplaining. Or listen to the podcast version of it. Better yet, as long as you’re wearing your noise-canceling headphones, go listen to a podfic of one of your favorite fandoms’ works, and enjoy the collaborative joy and creativity of the people who Cliff Weitzman refuses to believe exist. (In one of Speechify’s other blogs, Cliff claims there are only 272 podfics on AO3. Would you like to run that ChatGPT prompt again, Cliff?). Honestly, much like Cliff Weitzman’s infuriating denial of the fact that fandom fucking has this covered, thank you very much, there’s so. Many. More. Things for us to talk about. There’s the connotations of WordStream’s dubious ‘upload’ button, for instance, or the fact that the app scraped (and in some cases, allegedly, still lists) copyright-protected original fiction as well, or WordStream’s complete lack of contact information, which is illegal for an internationally operating app. And oh! Has anyone reported more thoroughly on Cliff’s app’s options to ‘simplify’ or ‘modernize’ uploaded works, or—my own very favorite abomination—to translate them into something Cliff calls ‘Gen-Z Language’? Much like his atrocious AI book covers, it would be hilarious, if it didn’t make steam come out of my ears.

Anyway, there it is. I highly recommend you do all of that. And then, if you aren’t familiar with it already, go do some research re: fair use and your rights as the copyright owner of your works. A good number of people commenting on this controversy expressed stunned surprise or fearful hesitation about claiming any sort of ownership of their fanfiction. The more informed we are about our rights, the more willing we will be to defend them.

Please don’t stop writing or sharing your work. If you can’t bring yourself to work on your WIPs today (trust me, I get it), post about this situation instead. Tweets, skeets, whateverthefucks—about WordStream’s theft, about how this reflects on Speechify’s already shady business practices, about how Cliff’s actions and justifications have personally affected you. You’re welcome to share or copy my posts on these platforms, but since Cliff already blocked me, I very much prefer you post your own. If you do, call Cliff Weitzman by his full name and tag or include both WordStream and Speechify to ensure Weitzman will recognize he has both a personal as well as a professional stake in handling the situation with integrity. Leave your concerns in reviews on the Speechify app. (We weren’t provided with a more appropriate place to put them, after all!) Consider calling for a Speechify boycott until Cliff accepts accountability for his actions.

Do avoid making exaggerated claims, and don’t call for physical retaliation against Cliff’s person or his property. We don’t want to give him or Speechify even the weakest of grounds to claim defamation or threats of violence. Focus on the facts: they’re incriminating enough by themselves. Show Cliff that we’re determined to keep bringing up his company’s wrongdoings in public spaces until he demonstrates that he understands why taking these freely shared fanworks and monetizing them was wrong, and takes steps to ensure it won’t happen again.

One last thing—and this is really more of a general reminder—please stop suggesting I handle this situation for you. People have come to me asking for action items. The resulting flashbacks to my days as an office assistant were extremely upsetting. In all seriousness, casting me as some sort of coordinator or driving force behind this backlash actively hurts the cause. Not only does it downplay fandom’s collective efforts, it also makes our message extremely vulnerable. It would be all too easy for Cliff to silence one singular source. Wikipedia will not maintain mentions of this controversy as long as it leads only to Easter Kingston’s attempt to summarize what happened as it was happening. You only know my name because I stumbled upon WordStream’s theft and decided to get my friends involved. I am not more knowledgeable, more skilled or more angrily invested in this issue than you are (or can, or should, be). I draw pictures and I write stories and I worry about the shift I’m seeing in fandom after having been on this ride for even a few pre-livejournal rounds.

I’m not going to stop doing any of those things. But I am going to allow myself to step away for a bit, make my wife dinner, and catch up on our shows.

I trust you’ve got it from here.

[kingofthering-two]

Hi guys, Maïna / kingofthering here. You might have heard or noticed that I got my account terminated yesterday (and had the joy to discover you don’t just lose your sideblog but all the blogs associated with your account).

What happened? As I mentioned last week, I received my 2nd strike for copyright infringement on the 11th of December and I protested it (sent a DMCA counter notice) on the 12th. Tumblr forwarded the counter notice to the claimant on the 16th, leaving them 10 business days to answer before I could get the strike taken away and the content restored. Unfortunately, yesterday, on the 19th, I received my third strike and it came with the termination of my account. 

How is it fair that tumblr lets you receive a new strike so soon after the precedent one, when you couldn’t even have the time to finish fighting the first one? I legitimately don’t know. I’ve tried to contact them about this but they don’t treat the messages since it’s coming from a terminated account. I think I need to send the message with another email address, which I might do later.

Could my account come back? In theory, from what I’ve read online, yes, but that remains to be seen from my end for me to be completely sure of that. My only current hope is for the blog to reappear when I get my first and second strikes removed (the first is from January but I never thought of fighting it before because it was videos so I thought they didn’t stand a chance but now I genuinely believe the type of content doesn’t matter). 

In September, there were 14 days between the counter notice being sent and me getting my content back (10 business days + weekends) and I suppose we might have to take into account Christmas here. I think that in the best case scenario, I might hear from tumblr on the 30th of December, maybe the 31st.

What now? I briefly considered using this as a (forced) break from tumblr. I tried to have one earlier this year and failed miserably. I think that the older I get, the less patience and tolerance I have for things that annoy me (and get past the filtering system) (but also things outside of tumblr, seeing my gifs get reposted to twitter, something that happened again recently, really annoys the fuck out of me). But, at the end of the day, the good outweighs the bad (annoying) far much, when it comes to this website and this community. If I check my tumblr app screentime on my phone, I might cry at how bad it is. I do want to finish the projects I have ongoing (the RPF survey answers will be studied and treated and shared) and keep in touch with everything happening on here.

I’m going to use this current account to browse tumblr at least until the end of the year. I’ve already seen glimpses of stories that I need to catch up on and I’ve seen you guys being very supportive already (thank you) so I felt like making myself reachable here was better. Posting wise, I’ll probably post about things that I know are safe i.e. things of my own (stats, my progress on the 2025 journals) and gifs of things not coming from Dorna (e.g. reels/tiktoks, podcast videos).

What then? The only thing I can tell you for sure is that no matter what happens next, I’m going to create an archive blog on a separate account (with a dedicated email address). This blog will not have posts of its own but only reblogs of content I originally posted on kingofthering. If I can have my old account back, the job will be made much easier (and will obviously be more complete). If not, I’ll have to rely on a lot of research to get things back as best as I can. Don’t worry about this for now, I’m going to wait until I know for sure about my old account to start the process (since the method will be very different depending on the answer on that).

For 2025, we will see. The thing is, even if I get my account back, I know that I will keep getting strikes (even if I’m not posting anything because old posts of mine have been targeted as well) and honestly, even if fighting them works, it’s both stressful and exhausting. Also, people have been winning the battles against the strikes for now but who knows how long that will last.

And like I mentioned, it’s a sideblog connected to all my other blogs which also depend on kingofthering’s faith. That includes my main blog that I’ve had since 2011 (I don’t use it much but I use it to keep all the useful stuff like the photoshop tutorials, writing prompts, etc), my hockey sideblog (not been using it much either lately but it does have some history I’d like to keep) and a bunch of others.

A solution to keep those other accounts safe would probably be to move everything motorsports related to a new account (maybe this one if I can get my main back) and delete the original kingofthering. It would pain me because of the history of this blog and what I would lose in the process (mostly the asks I haven’t gotten to answer and obviously the following that I had grown but I suppose that I can grow back little by little). It would also mean I couldn’t see anymore the posts in my notes and the tags people add to their reblogs (which is like half the purpose of posting in the first place) and that’s annoying as well but I suppose I could grieve that too, in theory.

If I don’t even get the account back, well. I talk about creating a new dedicated account but if it also gets striked (which I suppose will happen), it will be equally exhausting to fight fo it so, I don’t even know if I want to do that.

At this point, I know which content is safe for sure (or what has been safe so far for me) and there are still a lot of stuff that I enjoy sharing with you and getting your opinion on but giffing race weekends was the major part of my blog and I don’t know how I feel about giving that up. Anyway, much thoughts to have still.

Can you do something to help? I don’t think so. Or, well, not with recuperating my account. In regards with the copyright issue as a whole, though? I don’t know what to say because I don’t know what’s the best course of action there. I’ve seen some discussions around about emails and a petition and involving other social media and bigger people but I genuinely don’t know what’s the best thing to do. I’ve personally always considered tumblr as this little (safe for everything) bubble and I don’t exactly feel comfortable “exposing” some of my content here to the rest of the world (some people on tumblr are already mean enough about RPF, I don’t need to see what people not on here have to say about it). That’s obviously just me and I’m not going to keep anyone from doing what they think is right. Part of me wants to believe that things will fix themselves once Liberty Media take over but that’s not a sure thing and the frequency of strikes lately has been quite worrying so I understand the need to do something. Some thinking over to do there too.

Where can you find me? For tumblr, on here for now. I’m going to post this on the motogp tag and I’ll try to follow my mutuals (from memory so, going to miss a lot of people for sure, sorry in advance). I might appreciate a reblog of this post to spread the word. I still have my twitter (mostly talking stats), the blog and my tiktok (barely being used but still in existence).

If I do the set ups correctly I’ll have my DMs open here and askbox open to anons. I am still bad at answering those, though, so apologies in advance there as well.

(Also, I just got home for the holidays and literally learned about the news when I was in the train yesterday afternoon, so, worst timing ever.)

[cosmousee]

What Is Lunar Eclipse Bringing In For You!!🌜🌟

Hello everybody!!!

I'm back with another pick a pile🥰

I know I'm literally posting it on the DAY of the eclipse, but I got to writing it yesterday only, and with the last pile my laptop literally fell apart.

I completed writing it in class, because...who listens to lectures anyway🤪

ANYWHO! Enough chit chat!

Choose whatever pile resonates with you, whatever does not, remember to just pass it on🥰

Pile 1>>2>>3

Enjoy! (Posting it from phone, apologies if the formatting is bad😭)

Pile 1

Hey there loves! I hope lunar eclipse has treated you well!

For you I saw more of a building your own self sort of a thing. I saw an animation of you know sort of a stick figure thingy, and it was entirely made up of small paper bits, and you were rebuilding yourself again and again by replacing those bits with other bits. I think you guys are constantly figuring out which self is your most authentic self and the one where you are happiest being yourself. Ofcourse, this doesn’t come easy, which is why you are in a constant process.

For your oracle cards, we have

St. John’s Wort and Marigold: Against your will, there will not be; no entrance, no welcoming. Be Gone.

Witch’s Rosary: Craft your skills with intentions repeated, a practice of magick powered by purpose.

I’ll add your tarot cards here only, because I think they make more sense if I read them all together.

Your tarot cards are,

4 of Cups, 3 of Wands, The Fool and The Empress

For all of you, I believe you guys are free to choose, free to welcome whatever you want this lunar eclipse. It is your own decision, whatever path you want to choose, whether it may be your love life, your career, you focusing on your own self, focusing on forming a community for yourself.

I mean the list feels endless. Lunar eclipse is a fated time for things, and for you I feel like whatever you want this time, you’ll get it. Like it is up to you to focus on whatever and receive what you are focusing on. I have also heard that you shouldn’t manifest during lunar eclipse, or eclipses in general, but honestly, if you are feeling called to do so, you should listen to that calling.

The oracle cards are also saying that it you who is going to decide, nothing will happen if you don’t want that to happen. Everything is your will. And when you want something, be really really intentional and determined about it. Affirm about the things, sit and visualize those things, journal about them. Like keep that thing in your prayers and your thoughts sort of a thing.

Sit and reflect on what you think is the thing you need and want right now. Be determined but also be open about it like The Fool, open to the possibilities of it happening, especially if it feels like its something impossible. Be really fkn assured that whatever youre choosing to want is for your greatest good and you cannot, and will not fuck it up. Its such a fun energy to be in, because I am honestly extremely scared of eclipses, and I just spend the whole season crying my eyes out. I hope y’all are feeling well, because it seems to me that lunar eclipse isn’t forcing you to focus on one thing and deal with it. It letting you take the wheel and nudging you to take the steps this time, and the eclipse will help you achieve that thing and get that thing.

You might be confused as well, you know, that usually eclipses have a greater impact, but nothing is happening right now kinda thing. If you have something in mind that you wanna focus on, you can also ask for a hint, or even take this reading as a confirmation!

Okay! This is all I have for you today! Thanks for reading <3

Pile 2

Hey there loves! I hope lunar eclipse has treated you well!

For you, I saw a very barn type place, or like a farm-y place. It was very bright, sunny (not the kind where you’re all sweaty ugh), and there was a rainbow! I saw you being very very jolly, like literally sprinting and jumping with excitement and all the people you love, your friends and family were cheering you on from a distance.

Now, for your oracle cards, we have,

Harvest Witch: What sacrifices have you made for the greater vision of what is to be?

Adding your tarot cards here itself, because they give a better picture together,

The High Priestess, 10 of Pentacles, The World, 10 of Cups, 3 of Pentacles and The King of Pentacles

Now, the oracle card is talking about the chances you have taken to get out of your comfort zone, to get out of the habits of the current you, or the old you, in order to reach new heights. How much have you consciously put in the effort to grow and reach the highest of the heights you are supposed to achieve in this lifetime.

That’s the thing I saw when you were in that barn, that is such a happy version of you, and with the excitement that I saw, it really felt like either you were dreaming about it for a long time, or you just thought that this life was never possible for you.

Even with the tarot cards, they are telling you to follow your intuition, listen to it very closely. I think with the eclipse its calls would be getting louder by the minute, especially if you are missing the signs or outright ignoring the signs.

You are on a path to great success, you are yet to see the World and everything else that it offers, everything that you didn’t think it will offer.

I’m sure many of you might be content with where you are right now as well. But with this opportunity, you will feel content like never before. You know if you’ve got rose gold glasses on right now, pursuing this new path will give you ultra 4k HD rose gold glasses. There is a fulfilment you haven’t felt before, and it’s gonna come like fresh air to you, like you’ve breathed for the first time, like your lungs have felt the cleanest of the air in a long while.

Spirit might be showing you a collaboration or a partnership which is your ticket for this new world. You might be sitting frustrated about everything, and this opportunity will just drop in. Listen to your intuition, if its telling you to go for it, you better go for it. Don’t double guess it, listen to yourself and let your intuition get a breather because I think it’s been trying to get your attention for a while now!

Also, I think you might have to travel for this, like actually go some place far, which is why I saw your friends and family at a distance. But don’t worry, they are very happy for you and they are cheering you on, and obviously, you can always come back home for them!!

So get out there and you better enjoy the heck out of life!

Okay! This is all I have for you today! Thanks for reading <3

Pile 3

Hey there loves! I hope lunar eclipse has treated you well!

I saw you making snow angels!! Very happy, healing your inner child sort of a thing (I’ve never made a snow angel and I really really wanna). It also makes me think of leaving an impression, or a lasting imprint. Like you say something to someone and it really sticks with them, or you’ve done something that people always remember, even years down the line, they are like “Oh you remember [Name] did this amazing thing that time?” and you are fondly remembered.

It can be a really small act of kindness also that people remember, or you’ve helped someone and that memory is you know forever in their hearts kind of a thing.

Okay, so for your oracle cards we have,

Falling Leaves: Let go of the things that weigh heavily on you; you deserve to take up space.

Crow: Pay close attention to the winds; there’s a message making its way.

The first card again tells you to take up space, which is what you do essentially when you are making snow angels! (11:11 pm make a wish~) You take up space, you do your thing, and that is where you create your mark, your identity. It shows that you were there, you existed, you took up your space, you’ve marked it as your own.

I also think, because of the snow, that the winter season might be important for you.

Also, with the crow card, you might get an idea, an epiphany sort of a thing from someone else. You know when you are walking and you hear someone else say something and it just clicks for you, that yes! That message was definitely for me. You know literally wind coming up to you with a message, because..sound…carries through air.

Oh and crows are also related to ancestors, so it might be that they are contacting you, or telling you something important. Maybe they have some ideas for you to create an impact on this world.

Now for your tarot cards,

Death, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, King of Pentacles and 8 of Pentacles

With all of this pentacle energy, I feel like whatever the eclipse is bringing you right now, its gonna be long term, or its gonna unfold over a long period of time.

There's something you have to let go of, or remove from your life in order to have greater emotional fulfillment. In reference to the snow angel as well, you're healing your inner child by taking up space in the snow, so it's sort of like you have to let go of that part of yourself which inhibits you from pursuing those things, you know that part of you which thinks “no ew its cringey” because you feel like you'll he judged, but in reality if you go and do that thing, it's gonna literally feel like you're enjoying it from deep within your soul.

The Ace of Swords also tells you that you are going to get a new idea, some sort of epiphany, which can help you in your career and generate alot of wealth for you as well.

You may come up with this idea on your own, and then partner up with someone (King of Pentacles) who already has some expertise in the area, or they have the resources to take your idea to the next level. At this time you might be getting constant downloads of ideas, or you'll be getting opportunities or signs about collaborations or partnerships.

Grab these opportunities with full force, you're gonna have a lot of fun!!!

Okay! This is all I have for you today! Thanks for reading <3

[minerwarfare-suzuya]

Ask box response

This post is a follow up to the previous reblog post to update what's going between me and Cagney alongside other associates in the group that I have departed from a while back.

During the afternoon I just received a response from one of the group members yesterday which I will respectfully keep anonymous but I think only a handful of people will know who it is regardless of the edited screenshot when reading further on this post.

We'll be taking this interaction step by step to construct some criticisms, make statements and opinions of the overall message.

Here's the first half of the message sent to my inbox:

One thing to clarify is that I'm not being dense when I know that the group and you included, tend to nitpick at a lot of things. I was aware prior to what were the few reasons for being cut off before the announcement of my departure given the tension between the group conversations in the private community.

Now that's not to say that there wasn't a good point made for kicking me out!

Especially given the number 1 point made on your list.

1. I won't lie that giving away crucial details and conversations within screenshots was something I did totally out of left field. I knew that it was against the community's group protocol which I did get chewed out for showing the screenshots to Zombify.

But-

If I had not gone back and forth between two groups then I wouldn't have been given crucial details from Blurry's end about him doing a Cease and Desist order onto the Moboxcritique/TheGoldFiles Blog along with Kevonica being the primary suspect of quote on quote "Harassment" or "Defamation". Meaning that if Blurry had sent you a Cease and Desist letter, you'd be given a warning and restricted from posting on the blog that mentions him which would've led to possibly going to court/legal actions if you had gone any further with the drama to criticize him more. Then there's a possibility that the blog as a whole would've been taken down prior to its deactivation if Blurry did go to court with Kevonica and the blog given how much he'd get the judge and the jury to side with him regardless of what was put against him on the Moboxcritique blog's documents, posts or archives to justify your actions from calling him out.

So, yes I fucked up in leaking the group's conversation but at a cost of knowing about the Cease and Desist order ahead of time until a mutual agreement was made to keep the Blurry drama under the rug.

Then of course, I shared this post revealing a recorded conversation between Anonymous123maybe/Tammy Tuna and Miles to show that Miles never changed. This was another thing I got chewed out for publicly sharing but it was from Kevonica this time.

But did Anonymous123maybe/Tammy Tuna mind?

No

Plus, Miles only proved our suspicions correct.

2. I don't know why you need to rub it in that you and the group you're associated with have been victims of abuse when I've been through a mentally abusive relationship prior. It's not a competition or comparison to be made and I can understand that we can all take a stand in getting ourselves out of abuse and have it be known or unknown. Either way, if this is a complaint for being in defense for Piaojun's artwork of William x Renata in our chats together or on my "Parting Ways" post then I don't wanna hear it but even if it's not. Then it's likely about my other post discussing the themes of Mobox87's art work.

So, let me put it out there as simple as I can get. On my draft script post "Understanding", we talked about domestic abuse being an often taboo theme projected in Mobox87's stories and visual illustrations. The key important details mentioned are what likely inspired her and how it's become a progressive cycle that it feels romanticized but most importantly that it's a sensitive topic that can still work with storytelling.

We can all agree that Mobox87 always makes the abuser superior in a majority of her stories and I get that in this harsh reality that it is true the victims tend to lose or not survive from domestic abuse but when it's a constant visual being shown with each different story variation told. It gets bothersome to the viewer and you question the morality of the person behind the story. So, it's completely understandable to be critical about it. Now for the theme of that to work in a story, you wanna project it in a way where it can appeal to the audience. Such as the victim surviving or getting out of the situation. Other cases would be showing the victim getting some moral support through the trauma of abuse.

I know that I mentioned the episode "Mad Love" from the 1997 "The New Batman Adventures" series, a follow show to "Batman The Animated Series" from 1992. I go over how Harley Quinn's relationship with The Joker and how it projects the abusive relationship very well to the audience as a way to educate the consequences of what happens between the abuser and the victim or a toxic relationship. Heck we even see in the Harley Quinn show that she practically leaves Joker after realizing she was only being used. Another good example would be in the show Steven Universe on the episode "Alone at Sea". Where Lapis tells Jasper that she doesn't want to be a part of their unhealthy relationship anymore which if you're aware of them being fused together under the ocean for a long time from watching previous episodes you'll get why she doesn't wanna go back and that projected the importance of asserting boundaries and leaving when someone is abusive towards you.

Anyways, let me rewind things back to "Romanticized abuse with your strange takes upon things". I wanna make this clear I DON'T romanticize abuse and you know DAMN well that I don't when I've made it clear on a few occasions when you shit talk about Piaojun behind their back that they have no intentions of wanting to project the characters William and Renata the way Mobox87 has done. Even if they did have, it was illustrations projected to tell it's story purposes between the characters crucial fate of relationships departing. Like I get the idea you don't like the ship and the same can be said with a bunch of other people in or outside your group but don't ever drag your battles upon someone else who doesn't wanna associate with the drama. Let alone DON'T BITCH about what someone is doing between two characters who they clearly want to change from their original story for the better. You don't dictate what others can or cannot do in art especially if that person is doing their own thing. If you can't agree with that then FUCK OFF. I have my own morals and mutual understanding that are common sense. I'm not going to judge someone and make publicity about it unless necessary. You should know better. YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR THE ARTIST'S VISIONS AND DECISIONS THEY MAKE! Yes you can be critical but there's a limit and you are pushing it to your own judgements that are opinionative. So, get over it. No one does that to your own work and if people have then your just projecting that negativity onto others.

3. So, I wanna mention that YES I did force Cagney to reblog my post because I simply wanted a favor and if you or anyone had read the post "Parting Ways" you'd understand how frustrating it was to get them to post it. Like honestly you of all people should know that I've been supporting Cagney and Patty when I got involved in this drama when you reached out.

I literally reblogged posts when it came to talking about Mobox87, Nicole, Mobox87's brother SonicCrash, The FON game's process of dealing with its supposed virus issues, Mobox87's sales prices, Mobox87's harassment and especially topics about Miles! I shared heavy amounts of criticisms and gave out my opinion on things that Cagney would publicly post about while they gained more attention for it! So when I asked for the favor to help me with the situation about Arion the Kid/Blue's Journey that I was gonna go over with Red Radiant and others who were victims. I expected some help but instead I got the short end of the stick because-

Cagney didn't want to reblog my post or take part in it when it's about someone who is known in this Mobox87 community on the app "Amino" for sexually harassment minors who has continue to do so to this day on Discord!

Cagney and likely you along with the other associates would rather talk about petty SHIT involving Mobox87's comic series development or about Blurry's artwork than take on something far bigger and serious to discuss! I practically needed to force Cagney to reblog my post because I literally begged for it which resulted in Red Radiant and Andikai needing to back me up for wanting the Arion situation to be known!

Why should I have to be in a position where I'm like Oliver Twist begging for more food when it comes to a favor after I stick my FUCKEN neck out for you guys on drama topics!

Like-

How the fuck does Mobox87. A person we know who is controversial for a lot of things went out of her way to share a post about Arion?

https://www.tumblr.com/red-the-radiant-official/708998004953202688/hey-remember-that-guy-who-sent-you-those?source=share

Take note! She knew about this person long ago because I told her about them after she had a run in with them disturbing her Amino community back in 2019 when I used to moderate on her community!

Like yeah I get that it's one post she made in regards to the situation but you'd think that someone in Cagney's position. They would drag onto talk about this topic of Arion's manipulation and harassment like they do with other topics but-

No!

Instead they would rather talk about something petty and nitpick at the smallest issues because they were scared of being impersonated then went on hiatus after people misinterpreted their blog post about Piaojun. Just to only see that the rebranded blog "TheGoldFiles" now deactivated after months passing by.

Honestly, a lot would've benefited if they helped out more and kept pushing on talking about Arion as much as I did. Things would've been easier but instead I had to go out of my way to spread awareness of him following people on Tumblr in the Mobox87's fanbase when doing my document timeline.

https://www.tumblr.com/minerwarfare-suzuya/755834695937327104/just-confirm-with-you-all-that-i-have-police?source=share

Plus, I told Kevonica directly so that she would know.

You'd think at that point, Cagney would really need to touch up on the Arion topic by now but NO! Nothing said when brought to Kev's attention despite Cagney going on a hiatus.

I guess fuck awareness on a pedophile following people under our noses. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

4. Okay... Now you're just poking the bear at this point and I wouldn't be surprised if you or someone in the group was the one who sent this anonymous message onto the second blog awhile back.

This topic about aging up a character is known to be a mixed opinion or controversial to some people. So, I'm just going to say this.

Like if an artist (like myself) made fanart of a character aged up preferably for a new narrative or head canon story and it's deemed not okay.

Then this isn't okay.

Now you're probably going to say this-

"Oh but it's not the same because the creator made them underage, you can't age them up cause it's not canon!"

My brother in Christ! You are delusional cause the creators themselves might as well catch a heat over aging their own characters. Quit complaining about fanon artists or illustrators for making their own ideas on a character as adults in their fanfiction for their changes in character development.

This is an exact argument I had with Miles about the Vinsnake drawing last year!

https://www.tumblr.com/minerwarfare-suzuya/732636849810669568/miles-ownership-drama-timeline-part-5?source=share

But oh wait!-

That's not the issue!

Yeah, apparently you and the group were "uncomfy" with the Affinity remake's rewrite since the characters were "sexualized".

Yeah cause it's MY remake and I draw attractive Men and Women. Deal with it! I've been developing and pre-establishing the story for a long time with it's characters who are still undergoing redesigns as my surviving casts and designing characters with mature designs suitable for what I pictured best in FNAF Affinity that Mobox87 made a mess out of when it came to ages and over all looks.

Plus!

It's been pinned on my second blog that my remake is going to be meant for older teens and adults with WARNINGS before reading! So, I am taking precaution!

So, if you consider it strange without realizing I've planned things two steps ahead then maybe YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.

The second half of the inbox message:

5. ...

Okay! How FUCKEN dare you stoop that low! That is full on low blow! This part in particular is what has me really up my ego!

How dare you compare Red to Arion! Red is a victim of his harassment over the years that has gone by! Which had been ongoing still during this year in 2024 so far!

Comparing the person who I'm representing online and to police for not just himself but for others online that have been harassed, groomed, blackmailed, impersonated, manipulated, traumatized and mentally abused to a FUCKEN Pedophile! A pedophile that Cagney doesn't have the balls to callout or constantly post about throughout everything that has happened to Red, me and the likes of others online!

You wanna compare Red to Arion? Just because of a character Red has developed and been in talks with me about being added into my Affinity remake with his story restructured to fit in with my own interpretation when I'm directing and producing FNAF Affinity the way I want it? Fuck You!

Like legit Fuck You! You don't even know what we have been dealing with and what we have been documenting about Arion. Just for you to make that comparison.

Go kill yourself! I'm dead ass serious just take your blade off choice and cut your wrist vertically. Go tie a noose and hang yourself. Get run-over by a truck.

HOW DARE YOU COME TO MY INBOX AND MAKE THAT COMPARISON TO A VICTIM OF A PEDOPHILE OVER A CREATIVE DECISION THAT I AGREED TO ADD IN MY OWN WORK THAT YOU LISTED AS AN ISSUE ON YOUR TOP 5 SHIT LIST!

It's like what I've said to you years ago. You don't think before you speak and this really does show.

Anyways, Cagney is still active online even if you claim she's barely online since she went out of her way to respond to my last post and you still archived one of Mobox87's latest videos even if you also claim to be taking a break from archiving. So, there is activity going on behind the scenes.

Top it off, don't go off saying "Stop acting holier than thou" as if I'm being superior to you or anybody for that matter when you're clearly the one in that position.

Besides that I'm not taking down any posts. So Fuck off.

You may claim that now you see my true colors but really it's you who has shown your true colors that afternoon. Be glad that I've kept your username covered because I don't want anyone harassing you or anybody coming after you. If anyone is going to say anything to you during this feud, it's me only or Red.

I may have gone off too extreme with what I said but I DO NOT CARE and I Won't Forgive Myself For it but FUCK it. You put this on upon yourself. Woe is you if I name drop Cagney on a post, get over it. I'm not going to give y'all the satisfaction of going back and forth.

[chairofchaos]

You Deserve Better, and Other Points for Reflection

Hey friends, listen up. Real talk for a second, because nobody deserves this. And, in case anybody cares, I want you to know I come with 12 years of learning on this exact debate we have been having, because I had some very excellent fandom mentors in my communities and in the form of my uncles, who to this day support me writing and reading whatever hell I please, even in the face of protest from my immediate family. There was a lot of learning I had to do to be here with you now, and I am thankful for those people who were willing to tell me so.

If you want to post memes and think pieces and jokes and poems about a fandom debate, go ahead! You create the experience you want to see on your dash, and you will find your people.

If you want to discuss a fandom debate (a little or a lot), go ahead! I’m all for thinking through how we live and act and exist as a fan community.

If you feel that you need to take those things and turn them into vitriol to pour into the DMs and Anons of people who are running a fan week, that is not okay. Not in the slightest.

There is a big difference between debate, discussion, creative protest, and joking around, and intentionally using your words to create harm in someone’s life.

“But, Chaos, this [thing not directly sent to you/not specifically intended for you] hurt my feelings!”

Okay. Get burned once? Great! You learned something: don’t touch the hot iron again. (To translate: block the tag, block the person, whatever you need, and move on. If it isn’t for you that’s ok.) Hurt feelings are to tell you what you can and/or are willing to handle. If you don’t want to see it, block. (I love blocking tags it’s one of my little joys in life lol)

“Chaos, somebody said something really rude to me to my (virtual) face! What do I do?”

Well, you can either respond or you can block. Either way, it will probably help you to move on.

If you are responding, I beg you to keep one thing in mind. I want you to picture 7 year old you at the other end of that message. Or 13 year old you. What kind of words did they deserve to hear in a moment when maybe they weren’t getting something? Use those. Use them kindly, not in a condescending way, but in a “I want to explain this as gently as I would to my younger self” kind of way. If somebody keeps being mean, it isn’t worth it. Please use the block feature and move on. They are not worth your time.

Additionally, I would encourage you to do this: the “touch grass” mentality is something I only direct at myself. (I literally told myself to go touch grass yesterday, and there is at least one person who can corroborate that.) I stand by that decision every single day. It’s kept me out of a lot of trouble. Directing it at others does not end well, but directing it at yourself can be a good way to reflect and to consider sensible actions in the face of overwhelming situations or emotions (of which I experience many).

“Chaos, people are coming into anon and being hateful. Or just rude. Or they’re dumping triggering material into my anons.”

That is on them. That is not on you. They should not do that. And I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if you can block from anons (I’ve never even needed to look and so help you all if this is the post that makes me) but if you can, do. I will do what I can to help, if you need it. Regardless of where you stand on any of these issues, because I will not stand for hatred.

“I’m mad about [redacted] and I am going to be rude/mean/intentionally putting triggering material in people’s inboxes and activity feeds!”

You do that and you will be in a world of hurt, my friend. A world of hurt from yourself.

Because we create the experience we think we deserve. If you create an internet experience where it is acceptable to be hateful, vengeful, and downright cruel to other people, that is the experience you will receive in return. You deserve better than that. And if you believe that you deserve better than that but the people you’re directing cruelty towards don’t, then I want you to hear me: you will quickly find that you are not welcome anywhere. There will always be someone to disagree with. There will always be (at least) minute discrepancies in the way two or more people think, even people who are deeply similar.

Hurt the hand that reaches to help you- one day it will be raised against you in hurt as well.

As for me? Well, for that, I leave you with thoughts from George Washington’s Farewell address as paraphrased in Hamilton’s ‘One Last Time’:

“Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors.”

I am not a president (and thank god for that because who wants Chaos in charge of a country?). I am simply a fandom member. A writer. A little chaos gremlin lurking behind trees in the forest.

But like Mr. Washington, I am aware that I often fail to live up to my standards and principles. And I hope, truly, though it is wildly uncomfortable for me, that you would call me out for ways I have failed to uphold them, either in the past or in the future. (It would be super great if you like… called me out in DMs and didn’t put me on blast but oh well.)

I am in at least four other major (international, GIANT) fandoms. I am not hopeful enough to think that the ACOTAR fandom will learn from the fandoms of yore. We will have to weather these storms on our own, even with the knowledge and experiences already there. I think that’s okay. Disappointing, perhaps, but okay.

Since this post was much longer than it was intended to be, I will summarize:

If you are intentionally putting hateful materials in the inboxes, DMs, and activity feeds of people you disagree with, you will hurt yourself.

You create the experience you think you deserve, and in doing so, create that experience for others. Good or bad.

Block tags, block blogs, block what you need to enjoy the space. You will find your people.

Being intentionally cruel to other human persons is how you end up finding that nobody is “your people” because you created an environment where no one wants to be. You will be lonely and sad. Don’t make yourself lonely and sad.

I am certain I fail to uphold these principles at times. Feel free to call me out if you see me failing at these. DM appreciated, but I’m the one who invited you to do so so I’m not going to say “don’t blast me on main.” My funeral, I know.

[the-femslasher]

Why I gave up on Succubuns

Hey there, it's Jack. I'm an artist and use any pronouns but on the closed species site Succubuns, I previously went by toxic-candy. I signed all my work with my Bluesky handle, femslasher. I primarily drew the characters Fray and Deedee. You can find art of them posted here under the tag "mine" or "upload" but most of my work is on femslasher.bsky.social. You can use this info to verify my identity.

Okay so a disclaimer before we get into it; I'm currently waiting on an official autism diagnosis after I was professionally assessed and found to qualify for further psychiatric evaluation. This isn't an excuse for my social quirks, rather a reason as to why this post might be messy. I've never been the best at my wording.

Additionally; this is not a callout. This is an explanation and summary of events leading up to me leaving the site. I'm writing this here instead of an ask because I never felt right participating in gossip online but what others do isn't my business. Nothing personal meant by this, genuinely.

That being said, I know I can come on too strong. I know I'm loud and annoying and that I'm too excitable and open and talk too much and that's on me. However, this is also part of the reason I'll be leaving Succubuns.

Yves describes my conduct as disruptive and inappropriate. After I expressed confusion over a rejection seemingly ignoring design changes I'd made, I was accused of complaining in the discord and promptly muted.

This is a link to the message I received from Yves: https://discord.com/channels/@me/1297682011313672264/1314717635837165629

The message ID is 1314717635837165629

The messages, shown below, read as follows

Jack: did you seriously mute me for being confused about a rule I was told to disregard?

Yves: Jack, you have continued to be unable to act appropriately in chat despite many warnings. Complaining in community help that you're unhappy with staff rejecting your design and talking back to moderators is not okay. You've also continued to overtake chat to talk about yourself, your own characters, and your own interests excessivly since you returned just a few days ago.

If you want to continue to interact in the server, you need to act more appropriately. This is your second strike-- on your third, you will be permanently banned.

For additional context my first strike was for the same cited reasons as this one. Below is a screenshot of those messages as well as a transcript

Message ID 1: 1299187139199897674

Message ID 2: 1314717030309691452

Vortex, on 10/24/2024: You have received 1 strikes in Succubuns for: Inappropriate conduct in chat

🤐 You have been tempmuted for 1 weeks from Succubuns

Vortex, yesterday 5pm: You have received 1 strikes in Succubuns for: Repeated warnings about inappropriate discord behavior

🤐 You have been tempmuted for 4 weeks from Succubuns

Jack: oh come the fuck on

At this point I've decided to pack my bags, say "fuck it all," take my characters and leave. I have more followers on BSKY now than ever and nothing to lose because almost none of them care about Succubuns.

I'm cancelling the promise I made to draw Christmas gifts for new users. There's no point in trying to fit in here. The space isn't for me, and while I have tried I can't fix that. I haven't been able to fix that in the over 20 years I've been alive and I'd rather go my separate way than force myself into a space knowing I won't be accepted there.

@succubun-salt

[dreamtydraw]

hiiii ask box open !!! Do you have any unpopular opinion about vn / otome and in opposite one popular opinion you agree with ?

( i realize as I was writting that this became a long rambling post so i’m sorry about that anon-)

I don’t know if it’s that unpopular but that clearly talked way less than it suppose to be: Otome fandoms have a huge problem regarding racist and sexist behaviors and it’s because of that, that big game companies are reluctant about making poc or girls as li because some of you here can’t be normal for shit-

Sorry if this phrasing may come off as rude but after 10 years of being into otome games and in fandom spaces and you get a good opinion forged I’m sorry. I received a death threat for saying a fem character, being androgynous was okay, I received death threats for saying that an amab nonbinary li shouldn’t be « headcanon » as afab just to make the story more heteronormative, and I received weird ass messages for saying that calling the tan characters « exotic » was racist and the thing is, I’m a white creator, I heard shit worse happening from poc friends some who for some, got so fed up they literally left social media!

And you know racist behavior isn’t just saying racist thing ? This also in the form of sexualizing other people’s culture ( such as mini skirt Qiapo or Belly dancer outfits), giving less focus on POC love interest in fandom spaces, or having cliché about a character that goes against their personality just because they’re POC ( ex making headcanons that the sweet-hearted nerd poc man is actually super rough into sports and jacked up )

People are so focused on wanting one type of baby food copy-pasted romance that they will erase any features of a story that don’t align with their skinny white heteronormative standards, it’s like asking Tim Burton why the darkest actor he can handle is Jena Ortega.

It’s a double-edged sword because you have this type of people and on the opposite team you have the one that makes it weird! People ( who sometimes don’t have bad attention at all ) that gets so worked up on details they become weird about it.

Nonbinary characters aren’t your soft babies, and fem characters won’t always be your damsel in distress, try to change how you consume media to not blend everything because by blending everything you don’t let the rare good representation shine in their good light and sometimes even make people NOT WANT to engage in your media because you’re being weird about it and giving wrong information!

As always I will never say « We need to police fandoms so they all say clean shit » Fandoms aren’t a thing you can control but it’s a community and in all communities if basic rules are established, even if they will get transgressed at least most people will try to apply it and I think some behavior reminder would be good for a lot of people so poc and queer players can enjoy medias like everyone else instead of constantly being fed an alternative of « here is an extremely rude comment about you as a minority that everyone will expect you to eat anyway » or « sorry i can’t give you new food the people that scream very loud say they want the same lunch as yesterday »

If you’re not part of a minority or at least are in a better situation than others it’s important that you try to understand why minorities get upset at things you don’t understand. Sure you won’t always agree or understand because everyone is different but remember that if no one changed anything in otome and fandom spaces you’ll get fed the same game with different yet always similar sauce because why make an effort ?

If you like something, sometimes making an effort to correct it is good. Making an effort so more people than you enjoy it is worth the shot and making fandom spaces more enjoyable for everyone is a great thing.

Now that my rant end I just want to take a minute to say that in all this rambling i won’t name any game and i don’t particularly want people to name any game. This is a message as a whole and again I have seen a lot of shit, if it applies to your fandom too I’m sorry. I don’t want to get debated on « Oh but not every Otome fandom is racist » cause if I’m making this post understand that because a lot of them are, that's the point.

You are more that in the right to not agree on all my points but trying to say that this entire post is uncalled for means you are privileged or indifferent enough to not see the problem.

Thank you for reading all that and have a nice day.

[maul-of-shame]

TW: Some asshole called Hikari a cunt on anon that she posted and people are saying y'all are lying about anon hate? Last December a terf in that fandom posted a screenshot tweet that said it's woke of trop to make Halbrand look like a 'biracial POC illegal immigrant' before he turned into annatar. Or that 'moral ocd' ableism post from yesterday. People actually liked these posts. Tell us again about how vile shit isn't said on anon when this is posted publicaly.

First and foremost, my absolute love and support go out to everyone affected by this vile, nasty behavior. No one should have to deal with this kind of targeted harassment, and the fact that it keeps happening—whether through anonymous asks or blatantly public posts—is absolutely disgusting. Hikari (I think you meant @hikarielizabethbloom anon?) and everyone else who’s been on the receiving end of this bullshit, you deserve so much better. You’re valued, you’re talented, and you have a community here that sees and supports you.🫂🫂🫂🩵🩵🩵🩵

And this? This is exactly why I speak out. Why I refuse to just let it slide or pretend it’s not happening. Because people are awful. Some of them thrive off of making others feel small, of policing what’s "acceptable" to enjoy, of twisting narratives just to justify their own prejudices. And then, when we dare to call it out, suddenly it’s us who are lying? Who are overreacting? Who are making things up? The gaslighting is unreal.

What really gets me is that this isn’t just about "ship discourse" or "petty fandom drama." This is real, tangible hate. TERFs throwing around racist, anti-immigrant rhetoric and calling it "critique." Ableism being openly paraded around as if it’s an insightful take. People using slurs and gendered insults just to tear someone down. And the worst part? These aren’t just anonymous trolls lurking in the shadows. These are people saying this publicly. They feel safe and justified in doing so because they know that others will quietly agree, like, reblog, and keep the toxicity going.

So tell me again how “vile shit isn’t said on anon”. Tell me again how we’re "just making it up". Because every single time something like this happens, it proves exactly why I, and others, won’t shut up about it. Why I will keep calling it out. This behavior doesn’t deserve to be buried or swept under the rug, and it especially doesn’t deserve to be normalized.

I'm not speaking out to be some sort of martyr. I don’t do this for attention or to paint myself as some fandom warrior. I speak out because I love this fandom—the joyful, creative, happy, open-minded part of it. The people who pour their hearts into their art, their writing, their edits, their passion. The ones who just want to enjoy their favorite stories, engage with each other, and share in something they love. They deserve everything and more.

And I refuse to let a handful of bad apples sour the whole damn orchard. Because some people in this fandom? They’re good people. They are. Not to sound like the damn optimistic girlie, but they are here. They exist. The ones who uplift each other, who encourage creativity, who remind you why fandom can be such a special and transformative space.

We need to communicate. We need to support each other. And we need to call out the hate when we see it—because letting it fester in silence just gives the worst people more power.

This fandom, this ship, this community—it deserves better than that.

And as long as I have a voice, I’m going to use it.

To everyone affected—I'm so sorry you’re dealing with this. You shouldn’t have to. And you’re not alone in it. You have people who stand with you, who see what’s happening, and who won’t let it slide. Sending love and strength!!!💛

Also, very important note: I just want to say thank you to all the Haladriels calling this out. Thank you to each and every one of you who is reaching out, supporting, and standing up for what’s right. Your strength and kindness are so appreciated. It’s because of people like you that we keep this community a place of love, creativity, and respect. Seriously, I see you, and I’m so grateful to have you all in this space. Thank you, truly. 💛

[anittam]

ToT Theory: We Already Passed The Prologue, We Just Didn't Realized It

Hi, nerds! I been on a break from playing tears of themis, bc for a while it stopped being a game I enjoy playing and started feeling more and more like a chore, but recently I started playing again, so I think I will start posting again, so yeah.

Yesterday when I got home from work, instead of my brain helping me relax, it kept bombarded me with abstract and useless concepts, preventing me from sleeping, and just like that, this theory was born.

Warning: Crack theory (I meant it), and spoilers.

I have no clue of how long you been playing tot, but let me tell you something, early game tot fandom were fighting for the lives, because of the game's prologue, that shit was crypted (I not sure if I used this right) as fuck, for no good reason. Trust me when I say, people were losing iq points trying to get some sense out of this.

So many theories were made, some saying that vyn was the villian, rosa was a traitor or amnesiac, stuff like that, but what most theories had in common was that the prologue happend somewhere in the future of the game, that eventually we would do a full circle and go back to the begining of the game.

So here is my sleep deprivation theory on this subject, the prologue happended somewhere between the blossom chapter 4 and the first year anniversary.

Hear me out, at this point of the game I fully I believe that the dream sequence was really a dream, and not a trance vision. Rosa, our sweet sweet Rosa, just received love confessions from her four good male friends, and she doesnt know what to do, she is overthinking and overanalyzing trying to decide who she should chose, because she likes all four of them in a romantic way. She is thinking about it so much that she even started dreaming about it.

In the dream sequence, she sees the boys, Luke, Artem and Marius, and its connection with them, being represented by 3 objects.

If you paid attention to the blossom chapters, you would realize that thoses objects where thing that represents Rosa getting closer to them, by the way, all of those objects where introduce in the first blossom chapter (I think is because the writes just had a general ideia of the way the story would go so they just putted there in the beginning so they wouldnt have to think to much about them). The 3 objects were, luke's box, which is a central point to his personal story, a painting Marius gifted Rosa, and a bouquet Artem sended to Rosa (I know the flower is not the same, but the change is to represent Rosa's feelings at that moment).

These 3 things, although important in helping Rosa and the ones she loved build a strong relationship, it also brings her sorrow because of her indecision. Because she cant possibly love four people at the same time, thats insane, and cruel on them.

But anyway, after that she sees herself in vyn's office, and he say some weird shit, which phrase referring to one of the boys.

Luke: he talks about the chest of memories, rosa spent 8 years think about luke, what she did wrong, why he abandoned her, just for him to throw some bullshit excuse at her, in luke's first bithday card, Rosa say that she hated luke, but she cant stop loving him. But since he came back, she started to learn more and more about him, and his new life, and she is not exactly thrilled. When it come to she and Luke, there are trust issues, that are very hard to overlook, but they learn to work it out.

Marius: he talks how Rosa pretends to be okay and she is not, and that my friends is a recurring theme in their relationship. And not only her, but Marius is the same, they are constantly trying to not let the other know whats going on, they put on this facade of "im fine, dont worry" which just let the other more concerned. They have communication problems, but as the story they learn to be more open, and properly communicate their needs and concerns.

Artem: this part is the most used in "Rosa is a traitor" theories, because vyn talks about standing by your convictions but betraying your heart. And seeds of this happening was already presented in cannon storyline and in the Artem's personal story, in chapter 3 of the cannon story, Rosa strongly believes that the law is wrong, because if mother killed to save their child, they shouldnt be punished. And Artem's blossom chapter 2, Rosa wants to go against her clients wishes and push her to put her husband to trail for domestic abuse. In both scenerios, Rosa show herself to be a very closed mind person, and if she thinks somethinf is right, she would stand by it to the very end, what ends up causing friction between her and Artem. But in the end she give up her ideials, to do the "right thing", and that is her greatest conviction, doing what is right, she doesnt always agree, and sometimes she gets hurt in the process, but she done right nonetheless. Alternatively, it could also mean, think she has to choose one boy, even if she likes all four.

And after that she start feeling overwhelmed, she is in pain, and vyn makes her go to sleep again.

Now, what about vyn? What is his part in all of this? Since they barely touched on the hypnosis subject on the game, we could link this to one other moment in the game, in vyn's blossom chapter 4, Rosa witness vyn hypnotizing a pacient to help her realize that the one she loved was only using her, which left an impact on Rosa. Maybe her subconscious thought that such practice would help her decided which boy she should choose, but that didnt help her, just left her more confused.

And then she woke up. Without having her response, and still not knowing who to pick.

And this is my theory.

[ragingduststorm]

Love's not a competition

No, I didn't like Rebel Moon. Yes, I still wrote about 20 pages of self-insert fanfiction. I just love Atticus Noble and Kai too much, so yeah. I don't know if I'll ever post the rest, but I loved this threesome scene from the second to last chapter so much. Enjoy!

What happened so far: Y/N used to be a smuggler and in a relationship with Kai, she got imprisoned by the Imperium and both thought the other was dead. Y/N was later "found" by Atticus, he developed an unhealthy obsession with her, it was all really toxic tbh. A lot of stuff happened, now the war is over, the Imperium is no more, Atticus and Y/N live a quiet life with Kai as a frequent visitor.

Word count: ~2,1k

Warning: absolute smut fest, 18+, threesome, oral (male receiving), p in v, polyamory, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of praise Y/N uses she/her pronouns Atticus Noble post redemption arc so he's actually kinda nice (still a bit obsessive though)

Atticus arrived back at the cottage in a good mood. He’d bartered their excess of eggs and mushrooms away successfully and none of the people in the village had given him a dirty look or a mean comment. The first time in the four months he’d lived on this planet. This way of living, stationary, surrounded by nature and community, was still strange to him but it was necessary. It was either this or a cold prison cell on a distant moon. And this way, at least she was here to greet him when he came back.

His mood soured though as he saw the ship that had landed on the landing strip. Kai was back. Of course, Atticus’ luck had run out. He’d wished so hard for the ship to crash, for Kai to be stranded on an icy planet, freezing to death. But then, Y/N would have been sad and grieving. And as much as he didn’t want the other man here, her happiness was more important to him. He braced himself as he entered through the main door, reminding himself that he’d agreed to this. This way, Y/N was his. It didn’t matter that she also belonged to someone else. What he hadn’t been ready for, were the lewd noises emanating from one of the bedrooms. Moans, wet skin slapping against wet skin, the creak of the bed. At least they’d been nice enough not to use the bedroom he’d shared with her most nights. But now he just stood there, in the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do with himself. Should he just go out, take a walk? What if they still weren’t done when he came back? Atticus remembered the hours upon hours they had spent together. And even when he’d been spent, her ravenous appetite had kept them going until he was ready again. His cock throbbed with the memories.

For a second, he thought about spending the night in the barn. But he had no idea how long Kai was planning to stay before flying off into the universe again and Atticus could hardly sleep with the animals for weeks. Well, he could. He imagined it would be similar to being back in the barracks at the academy. But he really didn’t want to. This was his home too, after all. So, he quietly made his way to his bedroom and sat on the bed. His bed, their bed, it was all still very new and complicated to him. And the bad thing was, he could still hear them going at it. From her hoarse screams he could deduce that she’d come at least once and that she wasn’t anywhere close to being done. He knew that he really, really shouldn’t, but he closed his eyes and imagined she was making those noises because of him. She’d only done it last night, so it wasn’t hard to conjure up the image. When she’d sat on his face and come on his tongue. He’d practically begged her to do it. Nothing compared to her taste. And then she’d slid effortlessly onto him, all wet and tight. With some embarrassment he realized he’d been stroking himself through his pants. Yesterday he’d appreciated these loose garments for how easy they were to take off, now he hated them.

Air. That’s what he needed right now. He stood up a little too fast, too eager to escape these sounds and he felt lightheaded. His cock was still hard and throbbing, but he was determined. Until he left the bedroom and saw that the door at the end of the short hall was slightly ajar. Her screams were now muffled. Was she biting into a pillow? Into his flesh? Atticus touched the bruise on his neck she’d left last night, right at the end. Surely, they were so enraptured with each other, they wouldn’t notice if he took a quick peak. But what was he hoping to see? She would be filled by another. Someone who, admittedly, was slightly larger than he was, in more ways than one. Would he break when he saw Kai thrusting into her, his huge arms wrapped around her? Would he even see her under this hunk of a man? Still, he was curious. To see her taken by someone else. Was she different with him? More demure? Submissive? Or was she unapologetically taking what she wanted?

He'd taken a few silent steps toward the door without thinking. She screamed Kai’s name over and over. She must have been close again. Another two steps and he could see the light through the crack. If he focused hard he could make them out, two shapes made into one, Kai thrusting into her from behind, her face buried inside a pillow. Now he could make out Kai’s grunting and see the glistening beats of sweat trailing down his muscled form. Would he be able to hold on a little longer or would he come? Inside or on her back? Atticus thought of his white ropes on her. Her face, her breasts, her ass. All marking her as his. He had to palm himself through the pants because the aching was unbearable. His cock wanted nothing more than to break out and join. To hammer into her. Y/N came screaming Kai’s name. As she did, she looked up from the pillow. Right into Atticus’ eyes. He'd inadvertently made another step towards the door. He froze, unable to think of anything to do as she held his gaze with a smirk. She licked her lips absentmindedly. Kai followed her eyes as he noticed her attention was no longer on him, not completely at least.

Atticus had expected the man to be angry, to shout at him to leave them alone. Instead, he had the biggest, laziest grin on his face as he slowed his pace, now pounding into her slowly, savouring every movement. “You know you’re free to join us, right?”, he was a little out of breath but his voice was calm, like Atticus hadn’t just interrupted them during the most intimate moment imaginable. Kai’s one hand played with her backside, her ass, the spot where he disappeared into her, her asshole. Atticus felt a pang of rage and jealousy. That sweet spot he’d caressed so many times with his tongue felt, more than any other part of her, like his. Kai’s other hand slowly made its way up her body. Along her smooth skin, now slightly wet, kneading her breasts, caressing her face. Atticus realized Kai didn’t try to be possessive, he was inviting him in, showing him all the places on her that were still empty.

“I…I couldn’t, I”, Atticus stammered eloquently. Never before had he felt so much like a fool. He wanted to run, to hide away from the shame he felt. Until she said his name. “Atticus.” It was barely more than a whisper, but the need in her voice drove him crazy. He'd never been able to say no to her when she’d said his name like that. She could have anything she wanted when she said his name and he would forever give her anything he had, anything he was, just so she’d never stop saying it. “Look at that pretty mouth. All empty.” Kai’s voice was an irresistible purr now. As if in a trance, Atticus walked towards the bed, towards their eager, hungry eyes. Y/N’s gaze darted from his eyes down to the obvious bulge in her pants and she licked her lips in anticipation. She was so hungry, so desperate for him, to fill her up. As he stood at the end of the bed, Y/N reached out to cup him. His eyes closed involuntarily. And when he opened them again, she’d taken him out. His cock looked huge in her small hands and it twitched like a wild animal. He gazed along her body toward where the other man was buried inside her. The gap between them was shorter than he’d anticipated. If he’d wanted, he could hunch over and kiss him. But he lost his train of thought as Y/N’s mouth slowly descended onto him and her hand kneaded his balls. “Oh, you’re going to love this.”, Kai said, as he began thrusting into her. Slowly at first, matching the pace she set working on devouring Atticus’ cock.

He was right. Of course, Atticus has had his fingers in her mouth several times when he’d thrust into her. Or his cock in her mouth as she came on his tongue. But this was something different altogether. This was heaven. He could feel her moans reverberating from his tip all through his body. Every one of Kai’s lazy thrusts sent another wave of pleasure along her and into him. Y/N had always been good at taking him, but now it was like she didn’t even want to breathe. Again and again he hit the back of her throat, burying himself in that wetness, her teeth lightly crazing his sensitive skin. She chased him every time he moved back, her tongue greedily licking his shaft whenever he took a short break. He’d thought she’d been ravenous before, but this was something else. Saliva mixed with his own slick coated her throat, her lips, fell down in drops before she could swallow them. After a while, he realized it wasn’t her setting the pace anymore, neither was it Kai. It was Atticus. Every time he thrust back into her mouth, the other man followed. He wasn’t even sure, if Y/N had any breaks between her orgasms or if she only felt one gigantic bout of extasy. “God, you’re so tight, princess. You’re doing so well.” Kai’s words unexpectedly sent Atticus over the edge. He exploded into Y/N’s mouth before he could stop himself. He couldn’t even scream her name, his thoughts were so jumbled. And she swallowed every last drop of him without complaint. The only thing he could see in her glazed eyes was pure bliss. Once he was completely spent, she let him go with a lewd pop that sent shivers down his spine. But instead of letting him go, she caressed the top of his legs, kissing and biting his abdomen.

“I think our little princess is spent.”, Kai said with a small laugh. Y/N didn’t speak. She just hummed in agreement. Kai stopped thrusting and just stayed inside her. “Don’t you want to-“ Atticus was surprised by how exhausted he sounded. His voice almost didn’t feel like his own. “No need. I’m sure I will have ample opportunity to fill her up over the next two weeks.”, Kai said with a wink and Atticus could feel himself blushing slightly. What? Atticus Noble didn’t blush. Slowly, Kai slid out of Y/N, who commented with a mumble that sounded exhausted, but a little disappointed. “I need a shower. She climbed me the second I got off the ship.” He slapped her ass and she winced. He got off the bed with a groan and Atticus hoped he hadn’t noticed how Atticus’ stare had lingered on his still hard cock for a second. “You take care of her for me until I get back.” Kai patted him on the shoulder hard, like they were the best of mates, like they hadn’t just shared the same woman, and left for the bathroom.

Y/N was on her knees and visibly shaking from exhaustion. Atticus went to the bedside table and gave her a glass of water from the carafe that had conveniently been placed there. “Thanks.”, her voice was so hoarse, he could barely understand her. Then he helped tuck her into the bed since she was shivering. But he didn’t join. That was for Kai to do when he came back. Instead, Atticus went to his knees on the side of the bed and stroked her hair. He pressed a soft kiss on her temple and wiped some of the saliva away that was still coating her jaw. The weak smile she gave him made him want to crawl right up in bed with her. Another time. Still shaky, she put a hand on his cheeks. “I love you, Atticus.” “I love you, Y/N.” She had been right. The first time he’d said these words, they hadn’t been true. He had been obsessed with her and the way she had made him feel. But now, after everything they had been together, the war, the pain, he meant it. If this wasn’t love, then he didn’t want whatever the hell it was.

[sweetinsaniiity]

Tumblr 2024 wrapped (sweetinsaniiity)

Tagged by the wonderful @sorryimananti-romantic (still my favourite author in 2025) I’m sorry it took me forever, I’ve been sick for almost two weeks now :(

2024 review

To be honest, I can’t believe I’m doing this, never would I have thought that I’d be getting the support that I’m currently having in this lovely community at the end of the year.

Though I have been writing all my life - I was in the journalism club throughout high school and I have a degree in Literary Arts and Creative Writing - I just started posting my work this year, specifically in June. It started out when my real life best friend gave me a gift I physically couldn’t reciprocate, so I decided to write her a fan-fiction, instead. She encouraged me to post it since she said that it would have been a shame if she was the only one to see my work. I did hesitate, and after much deliberation, I did it. It was the best decision of my life.

Writing has been my form of release. However, I am quite the slow writer. My best output is doing one story per month. I try to focus on my work, and I’m sorry for all the people that wait a while. I will not sacrifice the quality in which I write, so thank you because I know that a lot of people understand. You make my world so much brighter.

My niche is dark romance. The darker, the better. Also plot twists, so never trust what you initially see. I aim to tickle that morality that forces my readers to think. I would like to thank each and everyone that loves the genre, it’s a double-edged sword, and I appreciate you all.

“To everyone whose favourite colour is morally grey.”

total statistics of 2024

no. of fics: 8 total wc: 183,900 (holy sheet) no. of wipS: 2 (both of which are coincidentally about Seonghwa)

genres explored in 2024

blackmail, plot twists, mafia aus, heavy dubcon, historical aus, imprisonment, slow burns, slice of life, politics, violence, body switching, betrayal, sociopathy/psychopathy, suspense, corruption, tension

first fic of 2024: Another Life

posted: 4th of June pairing: photographer!Wooyoung x fem!reader comments: not only was this my first fic of the year, but this was my very first fic ever here. Of all the things I’ve written, this is the one that deviates from my writing style the most. This was a gift for my best friend, so I don’t regret it at all, especially since she loved it, and that’s all that matters to me.

longest fic: Hail To The King

posted: 24th of August pairing: king!Yunho x ex-princess!reader comments: I had a different ending planned for this one, to this day, I have no idea why I didn’t do it. I think it’s because it’s too dark lol. Plot wise, I was extremely excited for this one. It had all the elements I liked - hatred, obsession, possession. I don’t think a lot of people realize that, spoiler, Yunho doesn’t truly love you. He just wants you.

last fic: Don’t Lean On Me

posted: yesterday 💀 pairing: tsundere!outcast!Yeosang x stalker!reader comments: okay, please hear me out lmao. Technically, yes, I posted it lately, but, the premise was in December. And I’m sick, I still am, I was in the hospital for a day (yeah, excuses) so forgive me. Anyway, I wanted to start 2025 with something sweeter, so I took a break from darker themes. This would probably be the first and last time I write something like this.

“Monsters are real and they look like people.”

top three most popular fics of 2024

Sick, Little Games

posted: 20th of June pairing: psycho!Mingi x fem!reader comments: now this one, I was not expecting this to be as successful as it did. I told myself to not write for notes, I still hold this mentality to this day, but damn. This was very heavy on the dubcon and I was nervous, but I didn’t need to be. This was the second story I posted and it was received well. As a newbie here, it warmed my heart so, so much. I legit couldn’t sleep.

Hail To The King

posted: 24th of August pairing: king!Yunho x ex-princess!reader comments: I remember tearing up when this did well, too. This was a challenge to write, the plot was heavy. It was really difficult to capture that feeling of despair and hatred, and I loved the challenge of it. This fic marked the day I realized that dark romance is my niche.

Sore and Sick

posted: 23rd of November pairing: blackmailer!Hongjoong x shoplifter!reader comments: this was more of pure filth when it came to the smut. I do include heavy smut in my writing, but that’s only because they serve as an integral part of the plot. This was the only fic I have where I wrote smut for the sake of writing smut. It was taking too long to write my next plot-driven fic so I put this out as a filler, and I suppose it worked teehee

Aren’s personal picks

Give Me Liberty, Or Death

posted: 28th of September pairing: mysterious!Jongho x heartbroken!reader comments: first of all, this took me forever to write. The world building was intense, and I had to outline it for it to make sense. But it was so worth it, I will never get over this one because this broke my heart into a million pieces, and a lot of you guys’ hearts got broken too. I had to connect really deep inside me (that sounded absolutely wrong lmao) because the love Jongho and you have here, it can’t be described. This was also my craziest plot twist, and it’s inspiring me to write more! I don’t care that this didn’t blow up, I will forever love it. Truth be told, this was supposedly to be Seonghwa’s, but there’s a serious lack of Jongho plot-driven fics here. It may or may not have blown up if it was Seonghwa’s, but I digress.

My Heart, I Surrender

posted: 27th of July pairing: intruder!San x virgin!reader comments: while this isn’t my most favourite, I had to include this because this is my most morally grey fic to this date. It wasn’t because of how it ended or the plot itself, it was how deranged San was and how his conscience didn’t really serve much of a barrier between him and you.

“The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end.”

2025 goals

To be better. Not in writing, nor in being an author, but more so in thanking and appreciating all the things I have and the things that will come. Once again, I would like to thank all of you for sticking with me. On the other hand, I’ll try to schedule my shit better lmao I have a bad habit of writing from midnight all the way until the sun rises. It’s not good for my health.

A little tidbit of me talking teehee. It just felt fitting.

Tagging: @xomakara @arilevenatz @spacequokka @unholywriters @rems-writing @crimsonbubble (I really hope you see this, I effing love your content) - and others who’d like to do it as well!

[ask-a-vetblr]

my apologies if this has been answered before, i tried to look for an already existing post on your blog but couldn't find it: but what's your opinion on telehealth veterinary practices? yesterday i saw an ad for a vet who you can just video call and it just seems very strange to me. vets physically assessing (like touching and feeling) an animal is ingrained in my head as the best way to go about things. just seeing a video of someone's pet doesn't feel right at all. what's your take on this stuff?

Hello, Sueanoi here.

The only way I can see it working is when there is a vet or at least a vet staff (including but not limited to vet tech, vet nurse, vet assistant) on the receiving end. They have to at least know how to examine the animal and what to look for according to recommendation of the vet on the other end.

Consultation is a normal thing that vets do. Most if not all vets have experienced contacting a specialist of a specific issue to ask for their help over distance.

There is no way tele-medicine can work without a vet or vet staff on both ends. A layman cannot recognize signs of disease, or they cannot communicate what they see for lack of vocabulary to describe what they're seeing.

I'll give you an example, most examinations require the vet to use all the senses except taste. They look, they listen, they smell, they touch (palpate). They may need to collect samples from the animal to find out what's wrong. These actions cannot be performed by laymen. At the very least, a vet staff is required.

Another example, I am an ophthalmology focused vet (cannot call myself specialist due to technical issue), most often I get consultation requests from general practitioners. They would tell me the result of their examinations and sometimes with photos. They would usually ask for my diagnosis list and what to do next. I might ask for more info, for example : because an eye is a 3D structure, a flat photo might not tell me enough. I would usually ask for a short clip of the eye in different angles. I might ask for more tests like Fluorescine stain (which the other person must know what it is and how to do it) I might ask them to perform some reflex tests (which they have to know how to do) and once enough info are compiled, I can give them the most likely diagnosis and recommend their next plan. If they do not have enough tools, my recommendation sometimes would be to send the patient to me (or to other specialist).

I hope this answers your question.

[blockgamepirate]

Other people already posted this but I wanted to copy the text as well (the website has the text also in French)

QSMP – SUMMARY OF THE SITUATION

Last week, we invited Quackity and other Quackity Studios executives to engage in negotiations with their workers. As far as we know, no contact has been attempted, either directly or via us. In fact, most of them saw all their communication media cut off without prior notice nor any further explanation.

A wide range of positions are illustrated in the testimonials we have received: egg actors, translators for various languages, community managers, artists, builders, developers, etc.

We have been made aware of several defamatory messages, some of which being public, towards people we defend, in order to sideline them and discredit criticism. Several staff members have been expelled from their positions in an attempt to cover up serious offences committed by the individuals they worked with. This is sadly usual: just like with Ubisoft or Quantic Dream, Quackity Studios silences those who speak up to protect its upper management.

The pattern is well-rounded:

Hiring « volunteer » workers. Some of them are promised a salary (without announcing any amount) following a one-week free « trial period », which is extended over months.

After this trial, a surprise: budget is restricted, meaning this salary will be no more than $200 or $300.

Of course, no written employment contract is provided. Even worse, workers are compelled to sign an abusive, badly-written NDA, which is to be their sole legal basis, so as to « keep the role-play surprise ».

This NDA is hijacked to deny workers the right to protest about their working conditions. Their personal social media accounts are watched, they are asked to take screenshots of their private messages (with threats to those who dare to resist), they are reminded about how « lucky » they are to work for Quackity, although for free, 70 hours a week, without any time off (no vacation, nor even weekends)…

To drain away any energy to stand up for their rights, burnouts are induced and planed: undersized « volunteer » teams, massive amounts of work to be delivered yesterday, then thrown away because no longer needed. When someone refuses this urgency, pressure to « just do an hour or two », to make them feel guilty.

Dismissal of those considered not sufficiently productive (on vacation, because of personal impediments, having technical problems, etc.).

When social media are involved and expose the truth, scapegoats are sought to, again, protect the perpetrators.

In the end, following the revelation of the case, all the French workers, regardless their contribution to it, have been fired in violation of all applicable legal procedures.

Four recurring aspects appear in the reports: disguised work, frenetic work rhythm, invasive surveillance of workers (including illegal intrusions into their privacy), and moral harassment.

We reiterate our call, to Quackity and other executives at Quackity Studios, to take action immediately. A full internal review, unanimously requested by the workers, is urgent. It must contribute to social dialogue, in order to achieve a fair and equitable outcome for all affected people (both in France and other countries), with appropriate (and retroactive) compensation.

If Quackity is unable to address the problems internally, we will sue the company to defend the workers.

[justanothergreb]

Some post-sleep, post-coffee, post-scroll thoughts:

Can we say the boycott worked? Seeing so many incredulous posts and musings on the points last night with lots of sarcastic "well a lot of people boycotted so of course they got high points" comments but let's remove the sarcasm because it does make one wonder how many people didn't tune in and participate last night. Viewing figures will be telling.

If pro right wing people are celebrating the "silent majority" backing you, you really need to take a good hard look at yourself and what you align with. Especially the people who voted because they felt sorry for Eden (from what I can see, a big number of UK voters did this and I despair). Also if this truly were the "silent majority" you would have won.

Ukraine giving you zero points? Telling.

Agree that perhaps focusing more on Eden being pro-Russian would have had more of an effect as people do feel more strongly about Russia.

Voting will probably need to be examined properly - have seen people saying pro-Israel influencers were encouraging mass voting, I also had a message from someone saying this was happening in communities across Europe. You would think people would also be able to spot voting irregularities or at least be suspicious but apparently not. Also wasting 20 votes on this? What a waste of your money.

The UK receiving zero points is a bit of a shock and can I just say I have been enjoying the comments from people blaming Brexit who also very much seem to be the brigade yesterday of "oh its just a bit of fun". I didn't watch the show last night but from what I have seen people said he was naff. Also need to remember that a lot in the LGBTQ+ communities were disappointed with Olly's stance on appearing at Eurovision. You could also argue who is more well-know - Olly Alexander or the band he was in? Olly feels like he could be a UK celebrity and not a more widely known celeb. It could also be whenever the UK enters a "well-known" act, its seen as a bit gimmicky. We also came second a few years ago folks - if the song is good it will do well.

Final thoughts from me today - keep an eye on the stories being shared by artists and delegations over the next few days as I think the EBU are even more in the shit than we realise.

Final actual thought - do what you can for the people of Gaza. Donate, speak up and out, whatever you can do.

[maryellencarter]

yo tunglr how goest it

so! things keep Happening. i am like "i should make a post" and then things happen and i would need a whole additional post

so uh. where to start. i was in minnesota. i did not like minnesota. the social services are pretty damn solid but i did not know anybody except john and it was looking like a three year wait to get into housing, and i had to park a mile and a half away from the shelter because clearly letting homeless people park their cars next to the homeless shelter encourages them to remain homeless or something :P

and i have been trying for ten years to get back to the east coast, to the only place where i know more than one person in meatspace in the entire world. and then my tax refund came out to be Enough that i could afford to go to there. so i was like fuck it i will go to there

(can i afford to exist on the east coast? probably not. but i can't afford to exist anywhere that allows trans people. may as well be not affording to exist in a place where i have some sort of a network.)

so first i went to leia's and got a bunch of my stuff. mainly electronics and knitting. and then i came to here. i had arranged with a friend to use her address to receive mail and do laundry and shower and all those fun things you cannot do in a car. also i acquired some car-camping gadgets that plug into my car's cigarette lighter, such as an electric blanket.

(i even found out that my car has a 15amp cigarette lighter circuit like a semi truck, instead of a 10amp circuit like most passenger cars, so i can use a trucker's cookbox to heat up food! very exciting. still don't have an electric kettle but i saw a hopeful looking one at a truckstop, i'm just trying to pinch my pennies.)

anyway SO! got to friend's house. things went well for 2 nights. i successfully tested riding the metro and did not get the motion sickness. this was excellent news as i had to quit my last job in this area due to inability to arrive on time as i kept having to hop off metro and let my tummy settle

then friend's husband decided actually the plan that we thought had been cleared with him was Not okay, because he had managed to hear a totally different plan that only existed inside his head. (he does this. he has not managed to grasp that friend is against the palestinian genocide. they are both jewish so this is. a topic of regular conversation let us say)

so. i have been put up in a hotel for a week. very cozy. i just figured out how to use the coffee maker to make hot water for instant mashed potatoes. the week is running out but i have been looking into options.

so yesterday of course my phone had to go and fucking brick itself. (i think it was yesterday. time has been. somewhat. look i don't have a phone okay i can't exactly look at the date every five seconds as normal)

phone repair place gave me a free diagnosis, which was, the battery swoll up just enough to pop the back slightly open (it is not a phone that is supposed to open) and let water in and now the motherboard is ruined. it cannot be fixed

thank fuck i had picked up my electronics at leia's, thus i was able to communicate via ipad and laptop that this Had Happened. navigation is being *really goddamn hard* because i have to memorize directions from my wifi-only ipad before going out, and then somehow correlate them with very bad interstate signage (the only way i survived getting back from the phone repair place is that i'd been to an aldi in the same shopping center while my phone still worked)

i mean i could take transit but have you ever tried to take transit without a phone when transit maps are digital only

any fucking way. so then i went to the department of food stamps and all that stuff, to ask about assistance. the department told me i would have to be a resident in the county for nine months before i could even get into a shelter. also i got shuffled between several desks that were supposed to help me applicate for food stamps and medicaid before my name just... fell off the big monitor that showed all the people waiting and where they should go.

so my friend mara who is well connected in the local activism community began making Noises and we emailed a bunch of people. there is a place (nondenominational even! in minnesota you had your choice of the catholics, the "union gospel mission", or the sally army) that does free hot meals and helping applicate for shit and sometimes has charities come to give away free phones and so forth. sounds very much like the big central shelter and help center i was at in minnesota, except crucially not catholic.

(the catholics are better to deal with than the folks who require you to attend services in order to receive help. but they're still very... catholic about it.)

anyway that place says i can park there and not get towed, which is my largest concern. i have not actually gone to there yet because i did not feel like driving that far from my hotel with no gmaps until i have to. but it sounds extremely promising. i have some other emails to follow up on too but today i went and got one of my roughly-annual migraines so i was flat on my back in a dark room all day.

(at least the migraine had the decency to hit while i have a room and a bed and darkness all available. very polite of it. this has not been the case any time in the past six months and it has been a worry)

anyway i can't friggin get my lifeline provider (aka free government phone service for teh poors) to log me in on their website to look for a new phone without them being able to text my old phone, even though they offer me email verification and then just don't load the next page, so there is a solid nonzero chance i may lose this phone number. my contacts *should* be backed up to my gmail if i can get another android phone though.

so. uh. let's see. a new smartphone and service would run me close to $200 minimum. (i've been checking on a cheap service i had before becoming eligible for lifeline, which i was happy with. their very cheapest smartphone is like $114 on sale and their cheapest from a brand i've ever heard of, which i would strongly prefer, is a motorola running about $140 on sale. it's giant and clunky with a badly placed fingerprint reader but "able to get cellular service and run google maps therefrom" is my main priority right now.)

i have about $200 of my tax refund left in the bank. also i still need to buy gas. and some more food soon, i'm about down to canned chili (very edible cold in tortillas) and instant mashed potatoes (can make with cold water but they are significantly less delicious that way). and probably some other things i'm forgetting, and i haven't even started looking into the emissions test or my maryland ID and license plates. which i also wanted to budget about $200 for in case i have to pay excise tax for moving states like i did in minnesota (i don't know if i was supposed to or if the dmv fucked up). i forgot to ask if the one place does gas cards but i need to.

anyway i have to be out of my hotel room saturday morning so i am planning to spend tomorrow packing my shit back up and hauling it mostly down to my car. also i need another bath at some point. too much has been happening

sleeping in a bed has been very nice though. hadn't done that since august. i can sleep in my car and it's mostly comfortable but i'm fat and my steering wheel does not respect that

anyway. um. until more things explode i guess that is my update? jesus murphy. it's holy week and you can friggin tell. really bringing my catholic out. tomorrow is good friday and i definitely expect something more to explode. hell, my micro sd card was making noises about being corrupted and i was going to transfer stuff off it onto a new one via my computer and i haven't even started that yet because i've been so frazzled. it better not die along with jesus tomorrow, it's got all my music on it