#can't wait to have viv back

[chrlvctius]

kim just having her proud mom moment in the first pic

[netherdevil]

unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head

[woso-dreamzzz]

Foster II

Meadema x Teen!Reader

Summary: Your first visitation

Beth had never really thought about what your mother looks like.

She had never really considered it.

Like you, she supposed. Maybe an older version of your face. Maybe a few differences in your eyes or your cheekbones. Maybe your hair is a lighter shade. Maybe it's a few shades darker.

Either way, Beth had never really considered it but the woman that walked into the building wasn't what she expected.

Viv threads their fingers together, also put on edge by the jittery woman in front of them.

"Y/n," She says," Sweetheart. Come here."

She opens her arms for you but you don't go into them, shuffling your feet next to your social worker.

When Beth and Viv had told you that your Mum had gotten visitation, you hadn't seemed surprised. You hadn't seemed happy either.

You were just resigned.

You'd been through this before.

The only difference was this time your dad was in prison and a judge had terminated his rights to you.

"Why don't we head to the meeting room?" Your social worker asks," Get settled and you two can catch up?"

"Sounds good!"

You linger behind as your social worker leads the charge into one of the meeting rooms.

You catch Beth's sleeve, tugging lightly.

You're quiet most of the time. You linger around the house in silence if no one talks to you, needing to be reminded of simple things like being allowed to sit down and being allowed to get water without asking.

"Stay," You say, voice barely above a whisper," Stay, please."

It's meant to be an hour-long visitation, once a week. If your mother's rehab and parenting classes go well it gets upped to twice a week. An hour is a long time, enough time to go off and do some errands.

In fact your social worker had even recommended that.

But here you were, asking them to stay.

You don't make eye contact. You look uncomfortable even asking for it.

"We'll stay," Viv says," We're not going anywhere."

An hour never goes by so slowly.

It's strange, Beth thinks.

An hour in a game can pass in the blink of an eye but, here, with nothing but the ticking of the clock, it goes incredibly slow.

Viv is a steady presence though, holding Beth's hand in her own as they wait for you.

"We left Myle's stuff at training yesterday," She says," We'll have to swing by and grab it."

"We're nearby. We can grab them after y/n's done."

The ticking of the clock is the only thing that distracts Beth as she waits. She can't even bring herself to scroll mindlessly on her phone as she waits.

Her leg bounces as she waits and Viv tightens her grip until you're finally in front of them again.

Your face is blank. Your shoulders are slumped. You stare straight through them rather than at them.

Beth reaches for your hand, telegraphing every movement to give you a chance to pull away.

You don't.

You let her take your hand.

"Are you-?"

You don't even let her finish, something that's so uncharacteristic of you.

"Can we go home?"

Viv stands. "Soon," She promises," We're just going to swing past practice and grab Myle's stuff then we'll go straight home. We'll even get something at the drive through. How does a milkshake sound?"

You give her a weak smile, nothing more than a slight upturn of your lips.

"Sounds good."

You're silent in the car, head pressed against the window and eyes staring blankly out as the scenery whizzes past you.

"Are you okay with staying here?" Beth asks as you pull up," Or should one of us stay?"

"One of you stay."

She's heard you speak more today than she did last week but this is hardly the win it would be on any other day.

"I'll stay," Viv says from the driving seat," I'll stay with you."

You don't remember Beth getting out of the car. You don't remember Viv getting in the back with you. You don't remember when you started crying and when you curled against Viv's body.

There's a knock at the window and you jolt.

"Now's not a good time, Katie," Viv says, tucking your head into her neck," It's not a good time for any of you."

There's a crowd around the car, most of the team much too nosy for their own good and Viv just pulls you even closer.

Katie, who seems to have been nominated as spokesperson, has the decency to look a little ashamed. "Beth said the kid is feeling a little bit raw today. We got some of the cakes from the dining hall."

Kyra, uncharacteristically silent, holds out one of the muffins.

There's a huge chunk that's been taken out of it.

"Oh! That one's mine! Sorry!" She takes the other one out of her pocket.

Viv gently nudges you. "Would you like to take it? You don't have to if you don't want."

Your hand reaches out the open window carefully but the moment your hand is wrapped around the muffin, you snatch it back to your body.

"Thank you."

Your words are barely audible but it still garners some smiles from the team.

"Hey." You think it's Leah that's talking to you now. You don't really know the name of the team, still stuck on your discovery a few weeks ago that Beth and Viv were professional footballers. "Next time you're here, we'll you down to the dining hall ourselves, yeah? There's this pudding cup that's amazing."

You still don't make eye contact. "I'd like that."

Viv grins just as Beth comes back, lightly nudging you and you look at her.

"What do you want to order for dinner? Beth's paying."

[warblogs17282]

Now that helluva boss season 2 has hit it's finale, let's discuss everything we know about season 3 at this point in time!

aka, a comprehensive list of everything about season 3 that we've been told about so far. (Please tell me if I've missed anything, thanks!)

I do not think that any of this information necessitates a spoiler tag on this post, but if you want to go into season 3 completely blind, click off this post now.

Bluesky Stuff:

What we learned from this bluesky thread posted shortly before Sinsmas was released is as follows:

The wait until Season 3 starts will be quite long.

The team decided that helluva boss having closer releases of episodes was the best decision (heard this meant a month in-between episodes but I forgot where I saw that), so thee team wants to commit to a more traditional release going forward.

Confirmed once again that season 3 has a total of 15 episodes.

We will also be getting shorts in-between the wait until season 3 starts, and I assume this means monthly shorts as well, based on the fact we had monthly shorts last time as well.

Vivziepop has also described season 3 as a 'queer roller coaster.', so we gotta be prepared to get back on that ride again.

At some panel it was confirmed that in season 3 we will be getting an episode that contains some more Millie backstory.

Tweet link here:

In some other panel, alongside confirming Vassago's appearance in the Mastermind episode, they also confirmed that we will be seeing 'much more' of Vassago in season 3, the post in the picture above contains the clip of this moment in the panel as well.

In what appears to be a recording for the second half of season 3, they're doing recording work for a Stolas song titled 'Dirty Bird', and yes, it is going to be super horny. There is a video of this Instagram post on the post below, plus one extra screenshot.

In the Los Angeles Comic Con 2024, quite a few things were revealed to us, with those being as follows:

As said before, this traditional release schedule does mean that the episodes will hopefully be a month apart from each other, and that Vivziepop saw the show was moving towards a more narrative direction, with this also being where the heart of the show is, and as a result, the direction the team is going in.

Lastly, we probably won't see all 72 Goetias, but we will see a lot more of them in season 3.

Post referenced in above screenshot contains a youtube link to said Comic Con.

According to the reblogs under this post, it appears that Erica (Loona's VA), was asked what her favorite song/episode was, and she responded with 'the song that Loona has in season three', confirming that Loona does have a song during season 3.

Video can be found within this post:

At 1:06:19 of this video, Vivziepop does state that the show will eventually get to Stella's perspective, which I have to imagine the show will get to in season 3, and that Vivziepop hearkens Stella's character to the character of BoJack Horseman's mother (Beatrice Horseman) because they are very similar in that regard.

Finally, Vivziepop posted these screenshots of her doing some audio editing to her Instagram over a year ago, we don't know what episode this is from but based on the long name in line 7 that doesn't appear to match any character we know at the moment, this appears to likely be a picture of some season 3 audio.

The main things we can gather from these screenshots appear to be Millie talking with Stolas a bit, and the absolute explosion of voices following something that Blitz said.

Post where I found these screenshots from can be found here, some additional discussion regarding is also in the reblogs:

This YouTube video covers a few instagram videos covering recording footage that Vivziepop uploaded to her account, with them being from the first half of season 3.

What we learn from these instagram videos is that Wally Wackford returns in season 3 with some new lines, and there's also a courtroom scene as well involving Blitz and Stolas, with it also looking like Stolas will be acting as defense for Blitz regarding something we don't know at the moment.

According to Vivzie's instagram, we will be seeing Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox (You might have heard of them before from something called Smosh) be the VAs of some special future characters at some point during season 3.

To wrap things off, I believe the next significant reveal or such regarding season 3 will be found in the 2025 LVL UP EXPO, as there are quite a lot of VAs involved with Helluva Boss there, plus Sam Haft and Vivziepop.

Especially considering that in the 2024 LVL UP EXPO, the first helluva boss short was shown, we got the song featured in s2 e8, 'When I See Him' and the season 2 trailer.

[mj0702]

The other Bronze – Part 12

I tell you guys - this was a very complicated birth ���😅 I hope you enjoy it and next part (if wanted) will be more happy and chaotic again ❤️❤️

I want to thank all me patient anons... and of course @valewosomtb and @samkerrworshipper for having me back in every situation... and new to that list is @georgiaswifey who literally saved me ass from dying this week due to boredom ❤️❤️

After breakfast all of you boarded the bus to St. Georges Park for the first training of Camp. You of course tried to sit next to G just for Lucy to pull you up by your shirt and push you further down the way disposing you next to Mary as she slipped into the row next to you

“You can't be serious?” you growled towards your sister and her actions

“Dixie Chicks serious” your sister smirked back as she pushed you slightly into Mary

“Yeah... you do actually behave like Aubrey” you grumbled as you let Mary pull you into her side without even watching the interaction as she looked out of the window

“You ready for training Bubs?” Lucy asked now and you knew she was just being concerned after what happened a few days ago in Barcelona

“Yeah... if it gets too much I just go into the bosses office... I promise I won't bolt” you reassured her

“Okay... if you need anything Kei and I are always there okay” your sister said insistently

“Yeah I know...” you smiled softly

“Hey y/n” Rachels head shot up from the seat in front of you

“Yeah...” you already saw the glint in her eye which meant fun

“Truth or Truth?” the blonde asked grinning

“Ehrm... truth?” you played along smirking

“Good choice... okay... Have you ever faked sick to get out of a party?” Rachel grinned knowing the answer already

“Not a party but school and training, yeah” you shrugged your shoulders

“Training????” now Lucy looked up from her phone

“Sure... it's like suuuuuper easy.. down a bottle of water and sprint a few meters... boom... getting sick everywhere” you answered nonchalantly “Go on Rache... I'll give you one more”

“Excuse me?? Hold on.. when...” your sister interrupted

“Just before we had that “friendly” against the Arsekiddos...” you shrugged as Beth Mead turned around glaring at you

“It's Arsenal” she corrected you and you saw that she wasn't as serious

“There's a reason why there's an ARSE in Arsenal... and if you cut out the “rse” you get Anal... so... you can't argue with that” you smirked and shrugged your shoulders

You absolutely loved your Arsenal women but it's just as much fun to rile them up

“You just wait Pumpkin... you just wait...” Meado smirked back and you knew the worst thing what would happen would be a noogie “I'll just tell Viv to not bring any stroopwaffle back from camp this time”

“You wouldn't” you exclaimed shocked

“Oh I will...” Beth smirked

“You can't... Viv's me friend” you whined

“I licked it it's mine” Meado smirked evilly

“Oh god... disgusting” you shuddered as she winked at you

“Have you ever been nude in public?” Rache now spoke up again and a few heads turned towards you – including Keira, Georgia and Lucy

“I mean... Less, Toons and I went moonlight skinny dipping last year... does that count as nude in public?” you looked expectantly at Rachel who just bursted out laughing at Lucys horrified face

“Totally counts... got room for another?” now Millie got involved as well

“What's the weirdest thing you've done on a plane?” the larger blonde asked

“I... got on the wrong plane” you mumbled embarrassed as the bus around you interrupted in laughter

“You what? How can you get on a wrong plane??” Millie asked shocked

“It's easy when you're seven and just walk behind a man and the attendant mistakes you for his daughter and just pushes you through....” you fidget with fingers

“Where did you end up??” Mary asked chuckling

“Lucy??” you looked at your sister for help

“Iceland... she ended up in Iceland” your sister growled remembering the exact moment she realized at the airport that you were gone – and how she freaked out when the airport security from Reykjavík Airport contacted her telling her what happened. And how she needed to fly to Iceland to pick you up since you were a minor who wasn't allowed to fly on your own

“Beautiful country” you said wishfully as your sister groaned loudly

“I had to pick you up” Lucy huffed out

“But you can't deny that Iceland is a beautiful country” you shrugged your shoulders

“May I have a throw in as well?” now Leah asks not even waiting for an answer “y/n... truth or truth?”

“You can royally fuck off Williamson” you sneered and suddenly the whole bus was quiet and everyone was looking at you with wide eyes

“y/n!!!” Lucy said sternly “Apologize... Now”

“She first” you said reluctantly

“No... you will stop using your ass as a hat and get a grip” your sister gritted out “She's the Capitan and you will NOT talk to her like this... and if you can't accept her as the Capitan then it's still Leah and you will not talk to Leah like this – the person Leah not the player Leah”

“I wasn't talking to the person Leah” you huffed out “I was talking to the Capitan Leah”

“Okay wow... the different Leahs giving me headaches” you heard Tooney mumble which made you chuckle and had the effect that the situation got a little bit lighter

“Talk to me pumpkin” the blonde said softly as she ushered your sister away to take her place sitting down.

“I'm not talking to the Capitan... because she fucked up” you grunted pushing yourself further into Mary like a three year old

“Then talk to your friend” Leah tried again

“We're in a professional environment...” you grumbled

“Okay...” Leah accepted that she wouldn't get anything out of you just now

She leaned back in now her seat and sighed deeply. After a minute she pushed herself out of the seat walking to the front of the bus. She sat down in the first row next to Sarina

“I need to talk to her in private before training” Leah came straight to the point not even looking at Sarina but keeping her eyes trained forward

“I think so too...” the dutch said lowly “... but first I want to know why you roomed them together”

“I wanted that they maybe talk and whatever caused the riff between them could maybe resolved... I want her on the team too... she's good and she needs something to occupie her... I don't want to ever see her like two years ago.. never again” the blonde said lowly so just Sarina heard what she said

“What happened two years ago?” Sarina asked confused and concerned at the same time

“You don't know?” Leah asked surprised

“No” the dutch shook her head

“She tried to overdose... she called Leila because she got scared and Leila rushed over and basically forced the pills back out... then Leila called Hempo and Hempo called Beth... you know how the chain works... we got her to London on the lie of her missing Millie because even her parents didn't catch on...” the blonde said seriously

“I had no idea” Sarina said shocked

“Neither do Lucy and Keira” Leah said insistently

“No one had the guts to call them?” the dutch smirked

“We would all be dead if they knew... Keira just moved to Spain.. what would you think would have happened if we call her that y/n just tried to commit suicide?” the blonde snorted humourless “But seriously Sarina... I need to talk to her”

“I'll can excuse you for 15 minutes... but Leah... you may be the Capitan but I can tell you know... what happened between them won't be resolvable...” Sarina warned Leah

“You know?” Leah asked surprised

“I was there... I saw what happened... and I'll be honest with you Leah... it was bad” the dutch said as the bus came to a halt in front of St. Georges park “But the only one who should talk about this is y/n herself....”

“OKAY EVERYONE... YOU KNOW THE DRILL!! YOU HAVE 20 MINUTES TO GET ON THE PITCH – LOOK AFTER THE NEWBIES!” Leah yelled as the bus came to a stop and she pushed herself out of her seat facing the team

The players shuffled of the bus one by one the sensible veterans (not Millie and Rachel) showed the new players around and took them under their wing knowing how nerve wrecking it can be. Just as you exit the bus Leah was by your side

“Not you... you and I will go to the office” the blonde said and before you could complain (or bolt) she already had your arm in a death grip pulling you along

“That's literally textbook kidnapping” you said outraged

“If I wanted to kidnap you I would whack you over the head so I would have some peace while kidnapping you” the blonde grumbled as she pushed you into an empty office

You stood in the middle of the room while Leah went over to the big table leaning against it arms crossed over her chest

“Look... I just tried to do what I thought was right – I want you on the team... I need you on the team – I need you FOR the team” Leah started talking but stayed away from you.

She knew you well enough to read your body language which told her you wouldn't accept physical touch from her right now. So she stayed leaned against the table but let her arms fall to her side to signal you that she doesn't mean any harm

“You don't realize it but you are the glue in this team... and I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you about the rooming situation but I wanted to just give you a little push... both of you... I know you were friends and suddenly you two can't even talk to each other... I just wanted to get you to talk” Leah said apologetic

“There's a reason why we don't get along anymore” you said reserved

“I know that NOW...” the blonde rolled her eyes “I mean I don't know WHY but I know there's a reason...”

“So you talked to Sarina” you mused defenesly

“I did... If you wonder she just said it was bad nothing else” Leah said quickly

“So why are you so desperate for us to get along?” you asked weary

“As I said... I want you on and for the team... you know Sarina would give her last... waffle thing for you to join the Lionesses” the blonde tried to make you understand her point

“I can't play anymore...” you plopped down in one of the chairs

“But you can help us win... you have an eye for situations and plays like no one else... but I also know YOU... you might be grown up as a footballer – but as a person you are still a 16 year old girl... and I REALLY want you on this team but I fear that you wouldn't be unbiased...” Leah said softly “I know you can be.. I know you will be... but I needed to do something”

“Very wrong approach” you scoffed

“I know.... and I'm sorry” the blonde sighed

“Okay...” you shrugged your shoulders

“Okay?” Leah asked confuse

“Look... I am the reason LJ is still on this team... I won't tell you what happened because I know you love me and you will try to make it up to me somehow... but I told Sarina to keep her on the team... I told Keira not to do anything... so I may not be her fan personally... but as a player I can act civil and give my unbiased opinion” you told the Capitan seriously looking her straight in the eye

“Keira knows?” the blonde asked surprised

“Not by choice... she overheard something she shouldn't have... but that's beside the point... you fucked up... you apologized... we're good” you grinned “... AFTER you get Viv to bring me back stroopwaffle”

“You really had to get the comment about Arsenal out there didn't you?? How long did you work on that one?” Leah smiled back

“Not long... Leila and Greensie helped... we had fun” you shrugged grinning

“So... we're good Pumpkin?” Leah asked again

“Yeah... we're good Lee” you smiled as you pushed yourself out of your chair walking over to her and let yourself fall into her arms

“I love you Pumpkin” the blonde mumbled into your hair

“Love you too Lee” you mumbled against her neck

The two of you stayed like this for a minute until it knocked on the door and Sarina stuck her head inside

“Need you on the pitch Leah...” was the only thing the dutch said smiling softly seeing you in her captains arms

“Okay... let's go Pumpkin” Leah pushed you two off the table but kept her arm around your shoulders “Let's get out there and be great”

You entered the pitch together with Leah under the watchful gaze of Lucy and Keira but as soon as they saw that you had a small smile on your face and Leah had her arm around you they went back to their warm up

“They made up” Lucy spoke lowly as she stretched next to Keira

“Good... I already have you, LJ and G to keep an eye out for... not to mention Bitsy... if I needed to added Leah to that list too I would have shot myself” Keira mumbled back

“What do you mean me??” your sister exclaimed

“You were a dick to G yesterday and this morning... keep it up Lucia and you and I will have a nice talk once back in Barcelona” the blonde murmured back before standing up being done stretching “I know you actually don't mean any harm to them but I think you don't know how much both of them need your approval”

“It's not like G asked me to give my blessing” Lucy grumbled

“But she will one day” Keira said sternly before walking away

“Hey Liefje...” Sarina smiled as you joined her on the side-line watching the doing some basic drills to get the newbies used to the style and pace of style

“Ehrm.. why are there just 24 players on the pitch?” you puckered your lips and bashed your eyelashes

“Huh?” Sarina started to count the players – with you already knowing who was missing – and then whistled.

The girls came over confused why their coach called them over

“Where is James?” the dutch asked sternly looking at the vets while you had to bite your tongue really fucking hard to keep a straight face

“She was next to me in the locker room” Lucy said confused as she turned around looking for LJ

“Leah?” Sarina looked at her Capitan expectantly

“No clue” the blonde replied “I thought everyone was already out since I had something to take care off...”

Finally LJ emerged from the tunnel looking stressed – and she was barefoot.

“James... you're late... five laps after training” Sarina said strict

“Coach please... It's not my fault” LJ tried to reason with the dutch “It's y/n fault” she send you an evil look

“Moi??” you pointed at yourself innocently “I didn't do anything”

“I'm pretty sure I didn't pack two left cleats this morning... nor did I pack socks with holes in them” LJ sneered towards you

“I mean... I know Less has two left feet James...” you got quickly interrupted by Lessis “Hey... wait.. naah.. sounds about right” before you looked LJ dead in the eye “... but I never thought you have two... your passing is 90 something...”

You knew you were pushing your luck here but after what happened yesterday in your room you didn't give a flying fuck anymore

“You changed my cleats...” LJ growled

“I didn't do anything... if you accuse me of doing something...you better prove it” you growled back using her own words against her

“Okay... enough” Lucy pushed herself between you two to defuse the situation “Bubs... did you change LJs cleats?”

“How and when should I have done this?? You didn't let me out of your sight... I wasn't even allowed to say good morning to me girlfriend” you exclaimed annoyed

“True... you were with me the whole time” your sister mumbled but unsurprisingly Keira threw you a smirk knowing you somehow pulled this prank off

“I KNOW IT WAS YOU!!” LJ now exploded behind Lucy not believing you one bit

“Prove it” you said calm and looked her straight in the eye

“Okay... you do it again... LJ I have a second pair in my locker come on... you can have them” Lucy said as she pulled LJ away so the two of you wouldn't start fighting

“That backfired Bitsy” Keira grinned as she stood next to you

“Keira... sweet lovely Kei...” you grinned evilly “... since when does my sister pack a second pair of cleats?”

“Huh?” Keira looked confused before recovering “Never...”

“Exactly... so take a guess who threw the second pair in her bag?” you smirked seeing your plan enfold perfectly

“Why Bitsy... why would you help LJ?” the blonde mumbled

“Is it help if she has to do a three hour training session in shoes that are not hers?” you mused

“What do you mean?” Keira look at you lost

“The cleats are fitted to Luce feet... so either they are too big or too small... so tomorrow LJ either can't walk or she doesn't feel comfortable in her own cleats anymore and that will affect her play one way or the other” you smirked evil before turning around leaving an stunned Keira behind joining Sarina a little bit down the line.

“Evil Genius” Keira smirked to herself before walking over to Leah and Georgia

“It was her wasn't it?” Georgia asked immediately when Keira joined them

“Of course it was...” the blonde chuckled

“She told me you knew... tell us” Leah said hoping to get something out of her best friend

“No... not my business.... I promised her I wouldn't take any actions and that includes not saying anything because if people like Millie or Mary – or god forbid Lucy - get word of what happened than a pair of mixed up cleats would be LJs smallest problem – Millie would go all brickwall on her and Lucy would go out for the kill” Keira said seriously and even G caught on not to push the matter

“Wow... it must have been bad” now Tooney interrupted

“It was... and that's the last time we'll talk about it” the blonde said sternly fixing Tooney with a glare “Did I make myself clear?”

“Totally” Ella held her hands up in surrender

“Oi... less chatty chatty more runny runny” you yelled over to the four players grinning with Sarinas hands on your shoulders as she stood behind you like a proud mother

“What did I do now??” Lessi asked confused

“You did nothing?” you asked back confused

“You just say “Less chatty”...” Lessi said bewildered

“Not Less.... Less” you tried to make your point clear “as in... not so much... not as in Less Russo”

“Eh?” now you lost Lessi completely

“No talking – yes running” you huffed out

“AH... yeah that makes sense” the blonde finally catched on and smiled brightly

“Good... now run” you shooed her away

“What would you do with them now?” Sarina asked you as you watched the team getting back to their passing drills.

She wanted to include you more since she planned to take you with the team to the world cup

“Are you asking as a head coach – because that would be bad if you had no clue how to prepare a team or as Mama Rina who just tries to get me to sign for the team again?” you smirked keeping your eyes fixed on the pitch

“Neither... just interested” the dutch smiled as she stepped next to you

“Group B doesn't click... you should change players” you said focused

“And group B is?” Sarina asked not knowing which group you dubbed as “B”

“Walsh, Greenwood, Stanway, James, Carter” you mumbled trying to find the problem “Their play is off... switch Walsh for Clinton”

“Keira!!” Sarina yelled towards the midfielder “Switch with Grace”

“Better but still off...” you mumbled again after a few minutes after Keira and Grace swapped their places “G!!!” you yelled and beckoned your girlfriend over which caused Lucys head to snap towards you

“Yeah?” Georgia panted a little bit after she jogged over to you

“Cut the crap” you growled and your girlfriend looked at you with big shocked eyes

“I...” G started to stammer not knowing what to say

“No... cut the crap” you said sternly and even Sarinas eyes widen “I know what you're doing... stop it”

“No idea what you're talking about” your girlfriend mumbles out looking at you sheepishly

“You don't work against her...” you said furious

“I didn't” G defended herself

“You did... your passes to her are sloppy and you know it... IF you play a pass to her that is... I know what you are doing but this matter doesn't concern you” you fixed your girlfriend with a glare

“You are my girlfriend... of course it concerns me... Kei said it was bad and I won't...” Georgia started before you interrupt her

“You won't anything... And right now I'm not your girlfriend... I'm just someone because if I'd be your girlfriend right now this would be highly unprofessional and we don't do unprofessional... and the whole situation... NOT. YOUR. BUSINESS” you now sneered “You will be the player I know you are... the player who plays for her team and country... and not for her team minus LJ”

Now Sarina caught on and was actually impressed how you grew as a person that you don't back down from even telling your own girlfriend off.

“Now cut the crap and get your shit together or I'll convince the head coach that it would be beneficial if you'd run some laps with LJ after training”

Georgia looked at you like she seen a ghost but nodded slowly

“Good...” you huffed “... now go and be the player I know”

Your girlfriend scrambled off quickly and you already could see the change in the whole play after you ripped her head off and screwed it back on in place the right way around

“That was...” Sarina started and you raised an eyebrow at her “... big... I didn't think you would rip your girlfriend a new one”

“If she deserves it I would rip Lucy a new one... I don't need anyone to fight me battles” you huffed still a bit angry

“They don't fight the battles FOR you... they fight battles WITH you” the dutch said softly “And Leah told me what happened two years ago... want to say something about that?”

“Nope...” you popped the “p”

“You know we'll talk about it...” Sarina said and this time it was her who had the sternness in her voice

“Ugh... Williamson really can't keep her gob shut” you groaned

“She thought I knew.. and now I'm thankful for her slip up” the dutch said “... What do you think about a 3v3?”

“5v5 … So G is basically forced to pull her finger out of her ass and start acting like a teammate again” you said back easily accepting the topic change

“If I would be a petty asshole... wait.. I AM a petty asshole...” you grinned at your adoptive mom “swap Greenwood with Bronze”

“Why would I do this?” Sarina raised her eyebrow again

“So my sister is forced to play alongside my girlfriend and not against her” you grinned “This gonna be fun”

Sarina actually swapped teams around a little so it wouldn't be to obvious and in the end team blue contained Bronze, Clinton, Stanway, Carter and James. They were up against team yellow who was Bright, Daly, Walsh, Greenwood and Mead.

“Georgia… drop back and come more in the backside” Sarina yelled with her Dutch accent

Your head snapped up (as did several heads from the team) finding the eyes of your girlfriend immediately as you both start to blush furiously while both of you stated a deer caught in the head light look.

“That’s… that’s not how you say it Mama Rina” you cleared your throat multiple times as you tried to avoid looking at your Sister.

“What did I say wrong?” the Dutch woman asked confused as several of your girlfriends teammates started to snicker and Millie even going so far as in clapping Georgia on the back

“Didn’t know you had it in ya, Stanway” the east midlander said grinning like a Cheshire cat

“oh no that wasn’t her…. That was me… I had it in me” you said offhandly realizing a split second later WHAT you just said as you already saw Lucys twitching eye as she turned towards your girlfriend looking her dead in the eye

“Run” was the only thing your sister said dangerously low.

Georgia already turned around sprinting away with your sister hot on her heels

Millie, Rachel Alex and Mary busted out laughing as Georgia ran past them her face red as a fire extinguisher.

“SORRY BABE!!!” you yelled after her as she sprinted past you your sister not far behind.

“See Bitsy… THIS is why I always tell you to think before you speak” Keira said standing next to you as she grabbed a water bottle.

“I don’t understand what the issue is” Sarina looking confused from one player to the next

“Backside is… your behind… you know Mama Rina” you tried to explain as much as possible with saying too much just for having the Dutch woman staring at you lost

“You basically told Stanway to come in someone ass” Rachel blurted out

“Oh… that’s… unfortunate” Sarina said after the words have sunken in.

“And little Bronze here basically confirmed that that’s what G already did” Millie laughed as she pulled you into side

“I didn’t mean too… it just… slipped out” you whined embarrassed

“I bet it did” Millie bursting out laughing as you punched her in the ribs which clearly didn’t phase her

Just as you wanted to respond what an incredible ass Millie is being your girlfriend sprinted past you again

“Stop her…” you heard her faintly begging voice as her breaths came out labored

“Keira please…” you turned to your basically other sister at this point

“Oh no… I’m not getting involved… that’s the Captains job.. or the head coaches job” Keira grinned widely

“Leaaaaaah…. Pleeeeeeeease” you begged at the England Captain now desperation clear in your voice

“Nope… you started it – your problem” the blonde smirked finding the whole situation highly entertaining

“Ugh” you moaned “you know… at least I get them to run… you weren’t as successful earlier”

You knew it was a cheap dig at Leah reminding her how she tried to get Lucy and Georgia to run only to find Lucy staring daggers at the younger one who preferred to hide behind Millie

“I swear I will pull a napoleon move on you and send you to exile” the blonde captain threatened you but her eyes were shining with mischief

“You can’t do that… Mama Rina wants me here to figure out what’s wrong with you lot” you said quickly turning around to the womens head coach “She can’t do that right?!”

“I mean… she IS the captain…” Sarina smirked

“HA!!” Leah yelled out victorious

“I promise I’ll be quiet” you begged again “but please don’t let her kill my girlfriend”

You looked around to find your girlfriend in the stands climbing quickly over the seats as Lucy followed not as graciously but still close

“At this point one or both of them will get hurt…” you heard Keira muse beside you which caused Sarina AND Leah springing into action

“LUCY!!!” Sarina yelled and whistled loudly and you saw your sister stop dead in her tracks turning around as the Dutch waved her back over

“I nearly had her” Lucy exclaimed annoyed as she stood in front of Sarina

“And I would have been one midfielder down…” the Dutch deadpanned back “… now back to training”

“We talk later” your sister shot you a dark glare which made you shrink into Millies side

“Don’t worry kiddo… she’ll get some energy out and she’ll be much more calm” Millie said reassuring feeling your hesitation

Your girlfriend opted to stay in the stands bending over her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath

“Lucy… Georgia… a word please” Sarina called out to both of them which made your sister turn on her heels to walk back to her head coach.

Georgia was a little slower to come down from her place but made it eventually standing next to Leah so she wasn’t in your Sisters reach

“I understand it’s a… rather complicated situation” the Dutch started “… but if you can’t remain professional on the pitch I will not hesitate to send you both home.. I let you have your moments understanding that you both love her… but keep it either to a minimum or best case – leave it completely.. we have a tournament to prepare for and I can’t have two of my best players at each others throats”

“Sorry Sarina” Georgia mumbled ashamed feeling like a small kid that got scolded for having a cookie before dinner

“Yeah… sorry Coach” Lucy chimed in

“And now kiss” you chuckled finding joy in the fact that for once it wasn’t you but Lucy who got told off.

This comment resulted in a murderous glare from your sister, an eye roll from Sarina, a REALLY shocked face (and a tiny scared squeak) from Georgia and a REALLY hard slap on the back if your head courtesy of Leah.

“Good… now go and rejoin the team” Sarina smiled before turning to you “… and you… you will go inside into my office – I’ll join you in a second”

You looked horrified thinking you’re in trouble with the teams head Coach – which people could trust you on… it’s not fun

“You are not in trouble” the Dutch clarified as she saw the horror on your face “I need your observant brilliancy…” she smiled at you encouraging stroking over your head like a mother would

“Which team am I looking at?” you asked after you sighed put relieved

“Spain… they were always very good but since last year they’re killing it… I want to know why and I want a way to throw them off” Sarina said seriously

“Just drug up your players and let them loose… that’ll throw them right off” you mumbled under your breath but Sarina understood you anyway laughing at your grumpy mood

“I heard you had quite the experience in Barcelona, kleintje” the Dutch chuckled before sending you off to her office.

You just settled into the big leather chair which was normally occupied by the blonde head coach herself as Sarina stepped through the door seeing you in her chair. She just glared at you raising an eyebrow waiting for you to move. You did so with a loud groan and a huff before you plopped down on the other side of the big table into one of the chairs

“Sitting in my chair” the blonde tzked under her breath but you saw the smile tugging around her lips “I have a proposition”

Your ears perked up and you looked at her interested

“I want you as part of the Team… we’re preparing for a world cup and I want the best people…” Sarina started looking for any reaction in your face but up to now you didn’t move a muscle

“You know better than anyone I can’t play… my knees are more fucked than Lucys” you said calmly leaning back in your seat

“I don’t want you as a player… I want you as an analyst / assistant coach… I know it’s very unusual with firstly your age and you having no experience in either of these positions but I know how good you are… you pick up on the smallest things and I fully believe you could change the Game.. I also want that World Cup Title” Sarina explained and you saw she was serious about it

“I talked to FIFA about it – no pressure but I wanted to know the legal side of it… as long you have a “guardian” they see no problem since other teams send girls your age as players” the Dutch said furthermore

“Who would that guardian be?” you asked equally as serious

“whomever you want… as long as they have an English citizenship and there isn’t a conflict of interest” the blonde answers your question already knowing this would be the first thing you’d pick up on

“So Lucy is out of question” you mused to yourself

“If you keep it professional she doesn’t have to be ruled out” Sarina said lovingly knowing how much your sister means to you

“No… people could pick up on it and throw a fit… “ you said rolling your eyes

“So you accept?” the Dutch looking at you interested

“I’m not saying yes… but I’m also not saying no” you answered honestly “I need to think about it”

“Of course, mijn kleine Liefje” Sarina smiled lovingly

“You know… at this rate just adopt me already ” you smirked sensing that the serious part of your meeting was over

“Your sister would have my Head if I announce our new analyst “Y/n Wiegman” …” the Dutch deadpanned

“I mean…. I WOULD be funny” you smirked your eyes shining with mischief

“I could also announce you as a Stanway” now it was the blondes moment to smirk as you frantically shook your head

“Oh I bet Georgia and your sister would be over the moon” Sarina teased you

“They might be but I'll be six feet under” you mumbled

“I won't let that happen” the dutch grinned and pinched your cheeks

“What is it with you today Mama” you groaned as you tried to get away from her

“I missed you Liefje... and I'm happy for you” Sarina smiled letting go of you before pulling you into a loving hug “And I'm so so proud of you how you handle the whole situation”

“Thanks Mama Rina” you mumbled a little embarrassed as you pressed your face against her

“Now.... I need you to find a weak spot in the spanish play” the dutch pushed you slightly away from her and kissed your forehead “be great”

You sat down in her chair and started re-watching the spanish games from the Euros. As you expected the spanish play was nearly perfect – but just nearly. You watched every game while your sister, girlfriend, best friends and your platonic soulmate ran sprints and laps and went to the gym for recovery. You didn't even notice how much time has passed as you got mesmerized by the spanish play. The quick accurate passes. The wordless communication between the players. The link between Alexia, Jenni, Aitana and Marionna. It was truly mesmerizing. BUT – you found a weak spot which made you smirk internally. You looked up when you heard the door open again and saw Sarina entering her office.

“Liefje...” the dutch smiled softly “... it's time to leave”

“Already?” you looked confused

“You've been in here for hours... training is over... you didn't even notice me looking after you three times” Sarina said smiling

“Oh... yeah no.. sorry” you scratched the back of your neck embarrassed

“The team is already on the way back to the hotel...” the dutch said as she walked over to you to shut her computer down

“Do I have to walk back??” you blurted out shocked which caused Sarina to burst out laughing

“No... I have a rental” the dutch laughed “But you still owe me laps for interrupting my meeting yesterday” she winked

“Lessi and Toons too” you shrieked

“They already did their laps... come on... one lap” Sarina winked

“I don't have shoes for running” you tried to get out of it

“Run barefoot” the dutch shrugged her shoulders like it was the most obvious answer

Unknown to you she had a plan. She hoped when you feel the grass of the pitch again that you might be more open to be more involved in training.

“You can't be serious?” you looked at her shocked your eyes wide

“One lap” the dutch nodded

“Ugh” you groaned but started to walk past her towards the field

You sat down at the sideline slowly taking your shoes and socks off. Sarina stood back knowing well enough not to disturb you since this was something you need to experience on your own. That was part of the reason she send the bus on the way without the two of you on board. She didn't need prying eyes nor did you. You probably wouldn't do this right now if you knew there were still people around – even if it were just your sister or your girlfriend. You sat there for another minute with bare feet and Sarina saw your eyes were closed and you wriggled your toes a little bit like you remembered the feeling of grass under your feet but at the same time try to memorize it. Then you pushed yourself up and took a few careful hesitant steps before falling into an easy jog. She saw you rounding the corner flag picking up speed down the goal line before slowing down at the next corner flag. Slow easy jog down the opposite sideline, around the next corner flag picking up speed again – not a full sprint but definitely faster before rounding the fourth flag and slowing down again. To Sarinas surprise you didn't stop. You kept on running but she saw a relaxed smile on your face. Not only relaxed but also relieved. Like you just needed the little push – the little push Sarina provided to get you on the pitch again. The dutch knew you never stopped working out so it was no surprise to her that you kept going for another four rounds making it five in total before stopping at your shoes. You bend over your hands on your knees you panted. You weren't completely breathless but you were breathless in the best way. You don't know why but suddenly you feel tears leaving your eyes and a soft touch on your lower back. You leaned against Sarina both of you just standing there you enjoying the support the dutch offered silently and Sarina just enjoyed the moment she get to spend with you. To see you like this meant more to her than any victory in any big tournament – for the last three years every time Sarina looked at you she saw that broken girl on the ground who was clutching her leg crying in pain but you weren't screaming. You were just laying there writhing in pain crying silently. Sarina was quick to pass the field dropping down to her knees next to your body. You looked so broken and so small. Back then she didn’t know what to do at first but the second your hand fisted itself into her shirt she knew she needed to protect you – and get you into a hospital asap. Sarina untangled your hand from her shirt but immediately held onto your hand with her own. She called her best physio who then came running with two medics. The dutch ordered herself to stay calm for your benefit and it was exactly what you needed. Even when the medics turned you onto your back and she saw the blood seeping through your pants.

It didn't matter how much you pretended to be fine Sarina always saw that little crying girl. But not right now. Now she saw one of the strongest people she ever had the pleasure working with. Right now standing next to you while you catch your breath showed her just how much you've grown. You were still a kid by heart she knew – but as a person you grew up so much. You started to fight your fears even if it started small with five laps around the pitch

“I'm proud of you Liefje” Sarina said lowly rubbing small circles on your lower back

“I'm fucking wheezing after five laps... nothing to be proud of” you panted back

“You started to fight your fear... that's something to be proud of... and now come on – I REALLY don't want to end up on your sisters bad side because I brought you back late” the dutch winked and smiled.

[messedupfan]

Chapter 24

Summary: Billy and Tommy are celebrating their 12th birthday.

A/n: Hellooooooo! I'm so sorry this has taken so long to post. It's been a ROUGH few months. But through it, I've been able to write a bit when I can. I've also fallen behind on a few episodes of Everything Is Fanfiction. I'm working on getting them out soon, just beware, they were meant to be posted in October/November. But November was so disappointing I needed a BREAK. Haha. Anyway, hope y'all are well. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist  | All Chapters

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“The kids told me that Y/n is going to be at their birthday party,” Vision says as he leans against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. His facial features are contorted into what he assumes is a threatening expression. Once upon a time, his expression did cause Wanda’s stomach to twist in knots and her body to tense up so tightly it was as if she'd turned to stone. But now, all she sees is a man child. Just a boy throwing another fit because he can't have what he wants. She is no longer afraid of his glare and she has to refrain from grinning at the realization. 

Wanda is picking up her boys since it's her week with them. She got caught in this conversation because she was left waiting for Tommy and Billy to say their goodbyes to their younger siblings. They love Vin and Viv wholeheartedly and they feel guilty every time they leave. Even more so because of the relief and safety they feel when they are with their mom. Something they don't know if their siblings will ever feel since Vin and Viv live full time with their father.  

“Y/n will be there with Rachel, their daughter. A lot of parents will be there with their children,” Wanda says with a small shrug. She's trying her best to hide her annoyance over the fact that Vision continues to have this insecurity towards you. As if you're going to replace him in his role as a parent. Of course part of Wanda wishes it could be as simple as that. But she won't ever admit that in order to protect her kids.

“Well I won't be there if they slash them is going to be there,” he states firmly. “I'm the boy's father, so I have to be there.” 

Once again, Wanda has to refrain from laughing. “Vis, you're not even invited. We agreed to do separate birthday celebrations when we got divorced,” she pauses as a fact pops in her mind. “Actually, it's written in our custody agreement. I just haven't held you responsible until now because I was trying to keep you from disappointing the boys at least on their birthday. So, you better think of something for your Saturday with them because I'm not letting you piggyback off of me anymore.” 

Vision opens his mouth to say something but Tommy and Billy are dashing by as they race each other to the car to try and beat the other out for the front seat. Now that they're getting older, they're getting taller. Wanda can't keep them from fighting over the front seat the way she used to. She doesn't give Vision another second as she follows the boys, who are shoving each other, to the car. Billy is claiming that Tommy cheated and Tommy claiming that Billy is just too slow. 

“Boys! No one gets the front seat!” Wanda shouts as she pulls them apart. “Both of you, get to the back!” She demands and they both scoff and sigh as they crawl into the backseat. As Wanda starts the car the boys start to argue over who gets to be in charge of the music. 

“Mom, tell Tommy it's my turn! He played his music last time!” Billy shouts from the backseat. 

“No, that was at dad's house that doesn't count!” Tommy defends. 

“It does too!” Billy fires back. “I'm tired of your music! It sucks!”

“No it doesn't! My music is cool! Your music is for fags!” Tommy says the word a little too harshly. Wanda is shocked to hear Tommy say such a thing but knowing her ex-husband, it was only a matter of time. 

Wanda looks back through the rear view mirror to see that they're still fighting each other. “Hey!” She demands their attention. “Because of that, no one gets to play their music. I'm very disappointed to hear you say such a thing like that Tommy. We do not use that kind of hateful language,” she states strongly to get them to stop fighting and hopefully to get Tommy to never say that word again. 

Many Years Ago 

“Ugh he's so gross,” Crystalia says as she watches Professor Stark pass by while he's in mid conversation with another faculty member. 

Wanda is taking a bite of her food as she hides a nervous chuckle. “What are you talking about?” 

“I'm talking about the rumors going around about him sleeping with students,” she says as she leans in close and speaks in a low tone. Wanda nearly chokes on her food. 

“What? What are you talking about?” She wipes the corners of her lips as she feels Vision’s eyes on her. She subtly shakes her head in hopes that he'll stop looking her way. He looks ahead of him as he continues to walk and talk with his colleague.

“You haven't heard?” Crystalia says as though it's something that everyone on campus is talking about. Wanda shakes her head. “Oh my goodness! Okay. So. Apparently his TA saw a student go into the professor's office and a few minutes later he heard a bunch of moans from both of them. He isn't sure if he should turn him in because he really needs the scholarship that the professor helped him get. But he’s worried about the students' safety. I mean how gross. Professor Stark is in a position of power. I feel bad for whoever the poor girl is.” 

Crystalia’s words begin to fade away as Wanda couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was certain they were super careful about what they were doing. She knew she shouldn't have met him in his office. It was a bad idea from the beginning. She cannot believe she let him talk her into it. But he really wanted to try being intimate in his office because the idea was thrilling. She couldn't deny that it was thrilling, she had never been so terrified and turned on at the same time at the idea of being caught. But knowing that his teaching assistant did catch them has her stomach doing somersaults. She has to push her plate of sushi away from her because she's too nauseous to eat anymore. 

“Are you okay?” Crystalia asks with concern. 

Wanda nods, “Yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm not sure that the sushi is good is all.” She puts on a fake smile as her mind continues to race with what could happen to her if the teaching assistant were to turn them in. What it could do to her reputation of being known as a girl who screws the professors. It wouldn't matter that he's the only professor that she's been with or that she wasn't his student anymore and hasn't been for a year. It won't matter that they've been in a relationship that was beyond the physical. She would be ruined if anyone found out the student was her.

She knows she should have never started seeing him in the first place. She knew it was against the rules. But she couldn't help herself. It started off as fun and now it's too late to stop. She's so in love with him that she can't imagine life without him. 

Present Day 

A couple of days later, Wanda is sitting on her back porch and watching you lift the finished furniture that you'd made. Taking it from the backyard all the way to the driveway. She licks her lips as her eyes follow your every move, noticing the way your muscles flex as you hoist the chair up. She was starving for your touch again. With the kids' starting middle school and both of you having work piling up, neither of you have been able to find time to spend together. Not since the night the two of you slept together. 

Neither of you really got to enjoy the moments after because shortly after the two of you finished she received a phone call from a nearby hospital. Her mother had fallen and broken her wrist. Wanda rushed to her mother's aid as soon as she was dressed and you drove her to the hospital. Her mother played the injury off as if it was nothing but the doctor stated otherwise. So, Wanda had her mom move in with her for the time being so that she could look after her mother. 

You drove them back to Wanda's once the mother was released from the hospital. It was hard to deny anything going on between the two of you in the disheveled state you and Wanda were in. Not to mention how late into the night it was that the two of you were together. Her mom didn't ask any questions. She simply smiled and squeezed your arm. A silent approval in a sense. 

Then you and Wanda said goodnight to each other because she thought it would be best for you to go home. You agreed as you figured the focus needed to be on her mother's health and not Wanda and yours relationship status. Thankfully, her mom hasn't been pressing her for details of your relationship with Wanda but she has been making comments. “You look happier,” she'll say as she sips coffee. “There’s a glow about you,” she'll say as she walks by the home office. “I think you’re doing the right thing,” she whispered once while the four of them were watching a movie about a blended family. “If you want to have someone over or go out, feel free. Don't let me stop you,” she stated on a Friday night when Wanda didn't have the kids and added a wink when Wanda gave her mother a funny look. 

“Wow, Y/n made those all on their own?” Ms. Maximoff says as she sits next to her daughter while she sips her coffee. “They must have talented… hands.” 

Wanda's eyes widen as she sits up, “Mom!” She scolds softly. “Stop,” she turns around to make sure her boys aren't within ear shot. “Just, please, the kids can't know. Not yet okay? So please, stop with the comments.” 

Ms. Maximoff rolls her eyes and sets her mug on the table in front of them. “I was just paying your friend a compliment. You don't need to get flustered over nothing. I did not raise you to have a filthy mind.”

Wanda shakes her head, “Oh please mother, who are you trying to fool?” 

“Okay, I won't say anything anymore. I just,” she looks around and notices that you and the kids are nowhere to be seen. Noting that they're alone. Even so, she leans in close to her daughter and asks, “Is this a secret because it's far from being serious?” 

Wanda bites the inside of her cheek as she contemplates a simple answer. After a moment she starts to shake her head. “We're taking it slow. We're getting to know each other and figuring out if there is a future here. We're also protecting our kids.”

Her mother nods and places a hand atop her own. She gives her a light squeeze. “How do you feel about them?” she asks in a soft motherly tone that strikes a chord in Wanda. 

The woman grows emotional. Tears spring to the brim of her eyes and threaten to fall as a lump forms in her throat. She takes a shaky breath to calm down. “I'm in love and I'm scared that I'm going to mess it up. I'm scared that I'm not seeing something majorly wrong with Y/n and it'll ruin my life when it comes out. I'm so happy and secure yet I'm so terrified that my instincts are wrong.”

Ms. Maximoff nods and moves her hand further up on Wanda's arm. “Vision did quite a number on you, didn't he?” She asks and Wanda looks away. She often avoids talking about her former marriage to her mother because she doesn't want her mom to think that she failed as a mother. 

“Mom, please,” Wanda wipes her eyes and clears her throat. 

“Honey, I'm only,” Ms. Maximoff doesn't get to continue because you are opening the back door, startling both of the women. 

“Hey, I just wanted to warn you that I have to deliver the orders to the post office,” you say as you fail to notice the vulnerable state that Wanda is in. “Do you mind if Rachel stays behind, I'll only be a couple of,” your words fall as Wanda breathes through her stuffed nose, giving away her current state. You crouch near her to get a good look at her. You put one hand on her shoulder and your other gently takes her hand. “What's wrong, Wanda?”

Wanda shakes her head and clears her throat as she forces a smile. Her body responds to your touch, releasing the tension that was building from the conversation with her mother. “Nothing, nothing. It's only allergies,” she tries to lie and you tilt your head as you catch her eyes to make contact. When she finally surrenders and gazes into your eyes you have a nonverbal conversation hoping she will open up without having to verbalize her emotions. She tells you that she is fine and you nod as you accept her answer. You gently wipe a tear that has escaped before you stand up and let go of her.  

“I need to drop off the furniture at the post office. Rachel isn't ready to leave yet, do you mind if I leave her here for a bit? I'll bring dinner for everyone on my way back,” you ask as you look at her carefully. Still concerned about how she is feeling. 

Wanda takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, it's no big deal. I'm sure they're all distracted with a video game or something. I'll be here to keep them alive otherwise.” You laugh at her statement and thank her as you step away. 

“How's the wrist Ms. Maximoff?” You ask as you step closer to her. She smiles and tells you that she's never been better. You give her a half hug goodbye and tell the ladies that you'll see them in a bit. 

Ms. Maximoff looks at her daughter once you're gone and she smiles. “Honey, you have nothing to worry about.” Her confidence in her statement startles Wanda. Her mother had never been so approving of a partner that she's had. It felt different to have this kind of approval from her mom. At one point in her life, she could care less if her mom approved or not. But she didn't realize how much energy it took to be constantly defending her decisions. It overwhelms her once again. She fears how easy all of this is and she isn't certain that she can believe that this is real. 

Many Years Ago 

Wanda paces the bedroom nervously. She couldn't believe that she was in this situation again. She doesn't believe she'll be lucky a second time. What is she going to tell people? What is she going to tell her parents? 

“It's not that bad,” Vision says as he stops Wanda in her tracks. Her pacing was irritating him but he is doing his best to remain steady, for her. “This can be a good thing. You won't need to worry about graduating or what kind of job you need to get. I can take care of us. I can take care of our family.” He puts his hand on her belly. Wanda melts into his touch as her eyes focus on his hand. There could be a baby growing inside. A baby that will change her life. But she doesn't want to fall into the trope. She refuses to give up her dreams of her career just because she had gotten pregnant by a man with means to care for her. She won't be seen as a gold digger. She won't have people believing that she trapped him into marrying her. She looks up at him with tears in her eyes. She shakes her head. 

“No, I still want to work. I would never expect you to take care of our family on your own,” she says softly. Vision's features twitch slightly but he doesn't react too much. He nods and pulls her into a tight embrace. That was not his plan. He wanted a stay at home wife, not a career woman. But he had to be careful. He knew that he could convince her eventually. When she would inevitably get stressed, he knew he could point out that it's not healthy for the baby. He knew that when she couldn't keep up with the housework and the baby and work that he could tell her to quit her job. He just had to be patient. In the end, Vision always got what he wanted.

“Okay, just know that you have the option. You might feel different later on and that's okay,” he says as he strokes her hair. Doing his best to sound supportive. 

Wanda grows emotional as she clutches his shirt. “I'm scared, Vis. I don't think I'm ready,” she admits against his chest with a shaky tone.

Present Day 

That Friday you arrive at her house an hour before the party is supposed to start so that you can help her decorate and set up. She is grateful for the help but she acts a bit standoffish. Since her conversation with her mom about her relationship with you, she has been spiraling. She skipped her therapy session because she wanted to see if she could manage her emotions on her own but unfortunately that only left her to be shut off from the world. 

You could sense that something was off about her but you couldn't ask about it because part of you knew it was something that needed time and care and couldn't be solved in a brief conversation. So you did your best to be helpful and out of the way. 

As the party began and parents and their children began to arrive, you noticed Wanda begin to perk up. But something still felt off about her. You tried not to linger around her too much. You stay with Pietro for some time. Chatting about how exciting it is to be done with one building and starting construction on another. The conversation moves to him asking you questions about your small business and how that's going. 

Later on you're talking with Carol and Val about their wedding plans and you get excited about their ideas for their wedding and offer to build them an arbor as a gift. They try to shut you down and offer to pay but you convince them otherwise. Insisting that it's the only gift idea that you can actually pull off successfully. 

Wanda’s gaze wanders over to you every now and then. She watches you laugh and engage with her friends and family. She watches you play with the kids when they start running around you. She doesn't want to, but she can't help but compare you to her ex husband. How he would have only paid attention to who he deemed the prettiest woman at the event. Even or especially if she was married. How if the kids came up to him, he would brush them off and tell them to go play with other kids. And when he remarried, the only reason he would talk to people was to show off his new wife. 

Eventually you catch on to Wanda staring at you and you relax a little. You casually walk towards her and tip your head towards the stairs. Inviting her for a private conversation. She subtly nods and you make your way up the stairs without anyone noticing. 

For Wanda, it isn't as easy. She has friends come up to her. She has a kid that's never been to the house before asking where the bathroom is. She is pulled every which way until finally, her mom steps in to get her out of conversations and helping others. 

It takes her roughly thirty minutes to join you upstairs in her bedroom. She finds you sitting at the edge of her bed, patiently waiting. 

“Hey,” she says in a soft tone as she enters the room. Carefully shutting the door behind her so that it doesn't draw any attention. 

You perk up and sit up with a warm smile. “Hey you,” you greet her. “Are you doing okay?” You ask as she sits next to you with a deep sigh. She lays her head on your shoulder and you grow worried again. 

“It's hard to talk about with you because it's about us and you. But it's mostly about me. I don't want to hurt you or scare you,” she tries to explain her complicated feelings that she is struggling to voice. You nod and take her hand in yours to provide her some comfort as you listen to her. 

“Have you talked to your therapist about it?” You ask as you rub your thumb on the back of her hand. She nods her head. The fact that this is still bothering her tells you that this isn't something that can be solved in an hour session with her therapist. “What about with your mom?” You ask in order to understand her a bit better.

“I have, somewhat. She's very encouraging of you, by the way. I wouldn't be surprised if she has started a Pinterest board for our wedding.” She jokes as she starts to move her fingers. You huff out a breathy laugh at the idea. You tilt your head to lean against hers.

“Alright, well none of your friends know about us. So I believe that leaves me as your only option,” you keep your tone light, not wanting her to think you're making a joke of her dilemmas, but still trying to cheer her up a bit. “Look, I want you to be able to come to me about anything. No matter how uncomfortable it may be for the both of us. But I'm not going to pressure you into talking to me if you're not ready to do that yet. That's part of taking it slow. We're gaining each other's trust in order to have difficult conversations.” 

Wanda stops moving her fingers and wraps her hand around yours to give it a soft squeeze. “Thank you,” she says. You squeeze back and kiss the top of her head. 

“We should get back to the party,” you suggest. Wanda nods and rises. She looks down at you, finally looking at you for the first time since she walked in. She doesn't see any anger or frustration in your expression. She only sees love and concern. She couldn't express herself to her ex-husband without him appearing annoyed or upset in some way. 

Wanda surprises you with a soft chaste kiss on the lips. “I love you,” she whispers. 

You smile and kiss her again. “I love you,” you say before letting go of your hand. You step out of her room first and rush to get away from the area without anyone noticing. Then Wanda rejoins the party a couple of minutes later. 

Many Years Ago 

“Wanda, I thought you were mature enough to handle this!” Vision shouts at her. They were celebrating his birthday but with that, came his favorite foods that were triggers for Wanda’s morning sickness. She had to run out of the room as soon as he brought the food out. The retching sounds disgusted him. Vision could hardly stand it. 

Since Wanda was a great student and had enough credits to graduate early which she opted to do because she didn't want to have to answer too many questions about her pregnancy. It upset Vision because he expected her to simply drop out. He got scared and as though his plan was falling apart. Then she agreed to wait on getting a job until the baby could be put in daycare. It was a huge relief for him.

The two moved in together shortly after she completed her final class. Since she was no longer a student, she gave up her dorm room. It was a major adjustment for the couple. They were not very compatible as cohabitants. She wasn't as neat as he expected her to be. She was exhausted from the pregnancy and it was hard for her to pick up after the both of them. Vision got upset every time he had to clean his own messes that he expected her to clean up before he returned. But he thought he was able to keep his cool. 

Wanda is in tears as he snaps at her yet again. She doesn't understand what she is doing wrong. This pregnancy is hard on her. She's nauseous much longer in the day than the morning. She isn't able to keep fit the way Vision keeps asking her to be. Nothing feels comfortable to wear. She can't go anywhere anymore. 

“I'm sorry Vis,” Wanda says through her tears. “The boys are just-” 

“What did you say?” Vision’s tone shifts into one of shock. 

“I-I-I shoot! I ruined the… hold on,” Wanda walks away to grab one of the presents she bought to surprise him. It was a T-shirt with the ultrasound of the twin boys she was carrying. The shirt said “Boy Dad” along the top of the ultrasound image. She hands him the gift and as he opens it she explains, “At my last appointment I found out that we're having twins. And they're both boys.” She wipes her tears as she watches Vision for his reaction. 

“We're having two boys?” He gasps, stunned by the news. Then he looks at Wanda with a wide grin. “We're having boys!” He envelopes her in a big hug to hold her close and kisses her in celebration. 

Present Day 

“Mom!! Look!” Billy proudly holds one of his presents up as him and Tommy unwrap their presents. The party was over, everyone had gone home except for Pietro and his family. The boys were eager to open their presents as they arrived with the guests but thankfully the other kids distracted them until the party was over. 

“Wow! That's a nice present, who is it from?” Wanda asks as she writes down the name of the toy on a notepad. Billy rummages through the gift bag to find a card or tag. He finds a small gift card at the bottom of the bag and hands it to his mom so she can read it. She marks it down. 

“Uncle P! Thank you!” Tommy shouts as he pulls out a box with a picture of a drone on it. Wanda shakes her head and groans. 

“Why did you get him that? I told you not to,” Wanda sighs. 

“Because it's cool!” Pietro cheers. 

“It's so cool!” Tommy says with a grin.

Billy gets a saddened look on his face and Pietro notices. He pushes a box of similar size towards his nephew. “Don't think I forgot about you, pal,” he says and Billy lights up as he tears into the wrapping paper. Another drone is revealed as Billy and Pietro cheer. Wanda can't help but imagine all of the ways the boys will get in trouble with the drones. “Happy birthday boys,” Pietro says as his nephews pile on him to thank him with hugs. 

Once the mess from the presents is cleaned up and Pietro and his wife have left with their sleeping girls and the new toys are put away, Wanda is tucking her boys into their beds. 

“Mom?” Billy asks softly as Wanda smooths the blanket over her boy. 

“Yes, Billy,” Wanda asks in a soft tone. 

“I'm glad we didn't invite dad today,” he says as he looks down at his hands. “He can be mean sometimes. And he really doesn't like Y/n. We have to lie sometimes so he doesn't get mad that we saw Y/n.” 

Wanda takes a deep breath as she smooths Billy's hair down. “I'm sorry that you have to lie to your dad.” 

Billy shrugs, “It's okay. I like hanging out with Y/n. They're cool. They never get mad at me when I'm talking and they help me when I have problems. And sometimes when I don't understand some of my school work and they're here, I ask and they will show me so it makes sense.” His eyes get bright as he talks about you to his mom. It warms her heart to know that you're helping her boys with their school work. 

“Yeah, they are really good at making things make sense,” Tommy says from his bed. “Dad just says we should know this stuff and walks away. The only thing dad wants to teach us is sports. Which I like but he gets really mad at Billy.” 

Wanda looks between her boys, paying attention to the one that is speaking each time. As she hears about how her ex-husband treats their kids she shakes her head and mentally curses him out. He always claimed their kids would be smart because they were his kids. They are smart kids, but they both struggle with school work. It's not their fault, it can get confusing and sometimes they just need it to be explained in a different way in order for them to really grasp the subject. She knows this and so does Vision. But Vision is a lazy parent in this aspect. He believes that whatever explanation the teacher gave is all the boys need in order to get their homework and school work done. And because he teaches all day at the college, he refuses to come home and have to teach again. Which meant Wanda was left to do it on her own and is one of her biggest concerns when her boys go to his house because she's not there to help them with their homework. 

“Is that true?” Wanda looks down at Billy again. Her son nods with a frown and scratches his nose. 

“Yeah, I don't like sports. I like dancing and I even want to try out for the school play this year. But dad said no. I have to stick with sports,” he sighs, his expression of disappointment squeezing Wanda's heart. 

“Don't worry about him. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Okay?” She says as he combs her fingers through his hair. Billy smiles a little as he looks up at his mom. 

“You're the best mom ever. Did you know that?” Billy says sweetly. Wanda smiles down at her boy. Right now she feels like the worst mom for having chosen Vision to be their father. But she can't go back in time and change that because then she wouldn't have Billy and Tommy. She can't imagine life without them. 

“Alright boys, get some rest. I'm sure your father has something planned for your birthday tomorrow,” she says as she gives them each one last kiss on their foreheads. As she is about to leave the room, she stops at the light switch. “I love you both. Happy birthday,” she smiles and flips the switch and closes the door before heading to bed. 

Twelve Years Ago 

Wanda is lying in the hospital bed, sweaty and exhausted. She has one of her newborn sons in her arms, her second child is in the arms of his father. She has tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She is a wife and mother. She has a loving husband who hasn't stopped staring at the baby in his arms since the moment he picked him up. 

“They're perfect,” Wanda whispers. 

“Of course they are. They came from us,” he says happily. His eyes never leave the baby in his arms. He can’t stop gazing at his boy. His first born son. “You are perfect Billy,” he whispers to the baby. He chose the name William after William Shakespeare because it's a well recognized name. One day he hopes that William Vison Stark is just as recognized because he plans to raise him to be one of the most brilliant, powerful and successful men in history. Before, second, or equivalent to his brother Tommy. He was named after Thomas Edison. A great inventor. He hopes that his son gets the Stark genetics in that regard. His family is known to be great inventors. One day his brother, Anthony, will be a thing of the past because his son Thomas Erik Stark will be known as the greatest innovator. He will make certain of it. 

Wanda is gazing down at her son Tommy, the baby is kicking slightly and she knows that he was the baby that kicked the most. “I can’t wait to know you,” she whispers. “I promise to protect your hopes and dreams. She smoothes down his tuft of hair and kisses his forehead. She is excited to tell her father her son’s middle name. Since she told him about her pregnancy, he would jokingly ask her that if the baby is a boy, she should name him after her father. Then she revealed that she was having two boys and he said “That’s perfect! One is named Erik, the other Magnus!” Wanda shakes her head at the memory. The remainder of her pregnancy, she spent fighting the men in her life on naming her kids after them. Then Vision came up with a compromise of having their middle names carry on his name and her fathers name. 

“We are going to raise great men,” Vision grins at his wife. 

Wanda giggles, “Let’s enjoy them as babies while we can.” 

“Okay,” he says and leans over to kiss her lips. “I can agree to that. I love you.” 

Wanda gives him a sleepy smile, “I love you too.”

Chapter 25

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick @inarayofmoonlight

[allastoredeer]

Actually, regarding the hotel members seemingly not caring about Alastor after the battle, Viv said herself that nobody thought he was dead they all assumed he disappeared somewhere and would come back when he felt like it so that's why none of them were really concerned about him. They just thought he was alive and had decided to just fucked off somewhere else for however long he wanted

Oh! Wait, yeah, I think I did hear that. It's good to know that they didn't think he died and just went along their merry way.

But they also didn't think to check on him. They didn't think to figure out why he left. Or, at least, we don't know if they did. The rebuilding of the hotel and Alastor's breakdown all happened within a single song, which doesn't give a lot of room to show if they reached out.

If they did, I can see Alastor minimizing what happened and giving them the impression that his injury wasn't serious.

BUT, if they only thought he was alive and they thought he decided to fuck off somewhere for an indeterminate amount of time, that still feels like a really shitty thing to do. They could've at least confirmed he was alright--of course, that's also in the case that they knew how to contact to him. But it didn't look like they even tried.

It just makes me really sad that Alastor was brushed aside and forgotten so easily after that fight. He was out there injured and having a mental breakdown while they were all singing showtunes together.

IDK Charlie singing "As long as I have all of you with me," while hugging everyone except Alastor (and Sir Pentious, rest in peace) makes my heart hurt. Alastor, who'd been at the hotel for the last six months like everyone else, who patched walls and fixed clogs, who did the things Charlie and Vaggie asked him to do, who had helped Charlie enlist the cannibals so they actually stood a fighting chance, who had conjured a shield during the fight to make fighting the angels more manageable (and had been killing angels outside the shield with his tendrils), who had ALSO been the one to take on the leader of the Exorcist army.

While they were all like this:

Alastor was like this:

And I can't help but feel like they'd done him so dirty.

(granted he then went on to sing about how he'd be 'pulling all the strings' as soon as he got out his deal).

[arsenal-womens-1]

In the blink of an eye

People often use the saying "your life can change in the blink of an eye" a lot. Six weeks ago, you understood what the saying meant. One day, you were taking a silly DNA test for fun with your friends. The next thing you know, you find out your whole life is a lie when you get the DNA results back. It turns out the people who said they were your birth parents are not, in fact, your biological parents; they kidnapped you.

For six weeks, you've kept a huge secret. It's eating at you. Leah Williamson is your sister. For six weeks, you've been going to training, playing, eating, and talking with your biological sister, and she has no clue about your secret. How were you supposed to tell someone they're your sister when you were kidnapped at six months old? You can't even look at her. People have started to notice that you can't look at her and that you are avoiding her as much as possible.

You have been staying with Beth and Viv for about five weeks now. You couldn't go back to that house, not after what you found out. Beth and Viv don't know the real reason; they just think that your mum and dad went back to live in Spain. Your head is a mess, questioning who you are, why did they take you. Would your life have been different? Would you have gotten into football? All these "what ifs," you would never get the answers to any of them.

It hurts, knowing that you would never get the answers to why they took you and stuff like that. Hearing a knock at your door, you get up. Standing in front of you was the one person that you didn't want to see. “Hey, you ready to go? Beth and Viv are waiting in the living room.” Nodding your head, you walk past her and into the living room where you see a bunch of footballers walking over to where all the shoes are kept. You pick a random pair.

After you put them on, you walk over to where Beth and Viv are, giving a weak smile to Viv. She looks at you; it's clear you had been crying at some point. “You ok, kid?” Giving her another weak smile, you nod your head. Hearing Kim shout, “We will all meet at the restaurant, everyone drive safe,” as all the footballers pile out of the tiny apartment. You, Viv, Beth, Leah, and Jordan are the last to pile out. Walking to the car, Beth and Leah were whispering to each other about something.

Pulling out your phone, you take a picture of your outfit, posting it on your Insta and Snap stories. You stop at the car, waiting for Viv to open it. When she does, you get in; Jordan was in the middle, and Leah was on the other side. The car ride was quiet for the most part. Getting out of the car, you walk into the restaurant. Beth, Viv, Leah, and Jordan weren't that far behind. Alessia and Ella come over; you know them from England.

You got your first call-up two months before the Euros, and I guess Sarina liked the way you play, as you got the call to join the team for the Euros. It's now November 1st; life has been crazy since you won. Walking to the table, you sit more away from your Arsenal teammates. The night went well; everyone was happy and talking to each other. It's now the next day; you had a game today, so you need to get there at 5 am because it's a 12:30 kick-off.

Getting up, you slip on a hoodie and joggers, trying to shake off the weight of your secret. As you head out the door, you walk to the kitchen where some of the Arsenal girls are; some stayed over last night. Beth passes you a coffee. "Hey," she says, her voice soft and it has a hint of tiredness in it. "Are you okay? You seemed a bit off last night." You force a smile, hoping to deflect her worry. "Yeah, just tired, I guess. Big day ahead."

Giving another forced smile, you walk over to the couch and flop down next to Jen. The news was on the TV; nothing interesting, so you just go on TikTok and watch some fan edits showing Jen. A few here and there were of to the training center; it's cold as it's like -4. As you arrive at the training center, each step you take is heavier than the last, burdened by the weight of your secret. Your mind is a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Jen's concerned gaze follows you, her eyes silently pleading for you to confide in her, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. Not yet. Inside the training center, the familiar sights and sounds offer little comfort. Your mind keeps drifting back to Leah. How do you face her knowing what you know? The guilt threatens to consume you whole. As the bus parks up, you catch Leah's eyes. For a moment, it feels like she can see right through you, like she knows the truth.

You quickly look away, unable to bear the weight of her gaze. She was just a teammate six weeks ago, and now she is your sister. Well, I guess she always has been, but you didn't know. Getting on the coach, you sit next to Katie, Catlin, Steph; you don't really talk to them. The game was a blur; yous won 2-0. After taking photos with fans, you walk down the tunnel where Leah, Beth, Katie, and Georgia Stanway are.

Leah walks over to you; as you try to walk away, she gently grabs your arm. “Hey, can we talk?” You just shake your head, and you try to pull your hand away. “What have I done to you to make you hate me?” You shake your head. “I don't hate you, Leah.” She still has your hand in her grasp. “You can't look at me; you don't talk to me, and you won't tell anyone what's going on.”

You do the only thing you can think to get her to let go of you. The connection of your hand connects to her face echoes through the tunnel. The girls come over and quickly separate you. Beth comes up to you and pulls you around the corner. “What's going on? Leah just wanted to know if she did something; why did you slap her?” Looking at Beth, the concern for you and a bit of anger for slapping Leah, you couldn't bear it any longer.

You let all the emotions out, letting a sob rip through you. Beth steps forward and gently pulls you into a hug so your head is resting on her shoulder. “She-I'm-” She tries to calm you down. “She's my sister.” Letting another sob rip through your body, you feel Beth tense under you. “What are you talking about?” Wiping your head around, you see Leah standing there.

[scribblesofagoonerr]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, F - For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Hello, I'm back with part 6. Sorry it's been a bit of a wait, life gets in the way and makes it hard to write, but here's the next part. I honestly don't know how many chapters this will have because I'm really enjoying writing it, so hey ho, I might even just make this one small fic series of many ideas' I currently have in my head :)

I don't know if this chapter does make much sense at all and non of it's been proof read again, so it could be a bit all over the place but please let me know what you think!

Thank you for all the ongoing support so far, it's overwhelming to see how much that you all love this, and it gives me motivation to continue to write!

My asks are open for anyone to drop me an any ideas' on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)

You're progressing well to get better and you're slowly returning to usual happy, self chaotic self.

TW: angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"So, what's the food in this place like then?" Kyra broke the silence in the room, where all the girls were all crowded in as they came to visit you in the pysch ward of the hospital during the visiting hours.

It had been 46 hours since you had been detained, 46 hours since you all but shouted at Leah that you hated her.

You really did regret it.

You didn't actually mean that though, and you had been feeling terrible about it ever since the words escaped your mouth.

"Seriously, Kyra?" Steph stares at the younger Australian in disbelief.

"What? I'm just trying to make conversation here" Kyra replies, shrugging her shoulders.

Caitlin can't help but snort. "And you decide to start with asking what the foods' like?" she teases the twenty-one-year-old.

"Yeah, cos' I've heard that hopsital food is disgusting and all" Kyra remarks to the older girl, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Very mature" Steph rolls her eyes at the two of them.

"So, what is the food like then?" Vic asks, peeking interest to know the answer.

"Terrible, I think that even Leahs' cooking might be better than what they're serving on the menu here" You can't help but grin cheekily.

"Ouch it must be bad then" Beth joins in with the joke.

"You'd better not let her hear you say outloud or I think she'd been offended" Viv tells you as she can't help but smile slightly, just happy to see you slowly returning to your old self.

"So, she didn't come with you guys then?" You ask as you pull at the sleeves of the hoodie you currently had on.

You don't miss the look that all the girls share with one another. You weren't an idiot to know something was going on.

"Just tell me what's going on" You stare at them all, trying to get an answer out of them.

"She's outside in the waiting room with Lia" Jen admits, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh" Your smile falters at the disappointing news.

"She wanted to come in with us Y/N but it was hard for her" Beth explains on behlf of the blonde, who you miss terribley. "I'm sure when she's ready, she'll come and see you" she adds, trying to keep the hope alive.

You really had messed up with what you said, you doubt that she would want to visit you, nor would she want you to come back to the flat where you lived with her.

"Oh uh, well then that's okay I guess, I mean I don't blame her for not coming cos' what I said was horrible and stuff" You make up an excuse as you find sudden interest with the floor beneath you.

"It's not your fault for being angry, Y/N" Katie pats you on the shoulder.

"How're you feeling now?" Alessia asks, concerned as a way to try and change the subject.

"Is this your way of subtly asking me if I'm going to try and attempt to kill myself again?" You glance around at all of the girls' faces in the room.

"Y/N" Kim shoots you a disapproving look.

"The answers no by the way" You mumble quietly.

"Y/N" Kim repeats again, a bit louder.

"What? You know I like to make dark humour jokes in this type of situation. It's just a coping mechanism" You tell your captain as you hold your hands up in mock-surrender, who continues to look at you with a certain look that makes you back down straightaway. "Alright, okay, I'll tone it down with the death jokes" You mumble, slouching further down in your seat.

"How's she been doing?" Leah stands in the reception area of the hospital and fumbles with her hands, as she speaks to one of the doctors.

"Y/N has making good progress. I think another day or so and she'll be ready to come home" The doctor explains with a kind smile.

"That's great news" Lia says, smiling as she glances at the blonde for her reaction.

Leahs' eyes widen in surprise and smiles slightly. "Yeah, that's good to hear. I'm proud of her making so much progress in such a short space of time" she tells the doctor.

"It is, Y/N/N has really thrown herself into trying to get better, the therapy sessions seem to be going well too" The doctor tells them honestly. "Are you going to go and see her? I'm sure that she'd love to see you" she adds.

The blondes feels apprehensive, her eyes dart over in the direction of where the doors led to the psych ward, where you would be with the rest of the girls that had all visited.

Leah had wanted to as well, she just couldn't find the courage to actually take the steps and dipped out at the last minute.

"I hate you, Leah" The words that you shouted at her, played in her head on a constant loop.

"Uh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if she's going to want to see me" Leah confesses, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Le, you don't know that" Lia squeezes the blondes' shoulder gently as she tries to reassure her.

"I know that she hates me, Wally. You heard what she said before" Leah replies quietly, shaking her head as she takes another glance towards the doors.

"You know that she didn't mean that, Le. You know she is just a kid with a lot of feelings sometimes" Lia tells the blonde, smiling at her.

Leah looks a bit more apprehensive as she shakes her head. "There was so much hatred in her voice when she said, it felt like she did mean it" she disagrees with her.

"She was angry the other day though, Le and you even said that yourself" Lia reminds the younger girl.

Leah hums as she bites her bottom lip "But what if she doesn't want to see me? I know she's going to be angry with me for leaving her here in this place" she admits to the older girl.

"She's been asking for you every day since she has been here" The doctor pipes in, gently smiling at the two girls.

"Really?" Leah asks, blinking in slight surprise.

"Yes, Y/N has told me about the visits from all of the girls but the only person she mentioned that she actually wants to see is you, Leah" The doctor tells the blonde.

"See?" Lia smiles at Leah and sqeeuzes her shoulder. "I told you that I don't think Y/N could ever hate you or be angry, you know that, Le" she insists.

"I know" Leah bites her bottom lip anxiously, taking another glance at the door ahead. "I just can't help but feel horrible for making the decision and I'm weary incase she resents me for it" she admits, quietly.

The doctor frowns at them both. "I know it must have been hard to be the one to make that call but it was for the right one to give her the best possible chance to get better" They explain.

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for this, Le. It's what was needed" Lia repeats the doctors words, so to speak.

"Yeah, yeah I know" Leah admits, pulling at the sleeves of her hoodie that she had on.

"You're nervous to see her?" The doctor asks, making the brief observation.

Leah can't help but snort slightly. "That obvious?" she jokes.

"I've been in this job for a while now, it's easy enough to pick up on things like this" The doctor chuckles amusedly. "Regardless of what may have been said, I have a feeling that Y/N will be happy enough to see you" They add in.

"SNAP" You scream loudly as you slam your hand down on the deck of cards that are on the table. "HA! I win!" You cheer in glee.

Kyra let's out a irritated huff while she glares at you. "Why are you so vicious with this game?" she asks.

"I want to win" You smirk and stick your tongue out at her, pulling the deck of cards towards you.

"Kyra, you're literally losing a child" Vic chips in, watching the game amusedly.

"Said child is a menace" Kyra mumbles as she pouts.

"Sucks to be a loser" You can't help but quip as you reshuffle the deck of cards in your hand.

"Room for a couple more visitors?" Leah pokes her head round the door and braces herself for your initial reaction to seeing her.

"LE!" You dart up from your seat and run to the blonde, abandoning the game of cards completely.

All feelings of anger had been swept aside as you were just happy to see her in the room. You thought you'd blown it when you told her that you hated her.

"Hi bubs" Leah instantly embraces you in her arms and kisses the top of your hair. "I've missed you, Y/N/N. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you" she apologises.

"S' okay, you're here now" You mumble, burying her head in her chest as you refuse to let go off her.

"Oi I'm here too, you know" Lia jokes playfully, knowing that you would want that moment with just the blonde.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi Wally" You grin cheekily at the older girl before you turn back towards the older blonde girl. "I'm sorry for what I said cos' I didn't mean what I said about hating you, I was angry and upset and I really don't hate you I promise!" You tell her honestly.

"It's okay bubs, I know you were upset and didn't mean it" Leah smiles as she squeezes you a bit more tighter than before, being careful in case she caught any of your bandages on your arms.

Moving to sit down on the now vacant chair, Leah plonks you down on her lap as she keeps her arms wrapped around you tightly since it was apparent you weren't going to let go any time soon but she was okay with how clingy you was after she hadn't seen you in a few days.

"Whats' been going on here then?" Lia looks towards the game that was previously being played.

"We were playing cards, but Kyras' being proper salty because she's loosing now" You grin, sticking your tongue out at the Australian girl.

"How do you even loose at that game?" Steph wonders.

"I didn't know you could even loose at snap" Beth chuckles, amusedly.

"Apparently so" Jen jokes, joining in with the two of them.

Leah can't help but laugh amusedly as she runs her fingers through your hair. "The doctor said that you're making good progress" she tells you.

"Mhm" You mumble, resting your head on her shoulder.

"That's good news!" Vic overhears the conversation as she smiles at you.

"Yeah, that means you'll be able to come home soon enough" Alessia pipes in.

Katie can't help but scoff. "She should've never been here in the first place" she sneers in the direction where Leah is sat.

"Katie" Kim glares at the Irish girl.

"What? It's true!" Katie exclaims in outrage, not backing down from glaring at the blonde. "You and I both know it, we all do! She should've never been here, she should have been at home with people that care about her" she insists.

"It's what was best for her" Leah fires back just as quick.

"Was it?" Katie scowls at her.

"Can you guys please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" You huff and glance between the two older girls.

"Sorry kid" Katie apologises.

"Sorry bubs" Leah apologises.

"Hey, Y/N/N, it'll be good that you're getting out of hospital soon enough now" Kyra slyly grins at you, looking forward to the pair of you being able to cause mischief in no time.

"Yeah, partners in crime reunited again" You grin at the Aussie girl.

"No, no! Absolutely not!" Steph protests, shaking her head. "It took me at least a week to get the ketchup of the ceiling after the last stunt that you two idiots pulled" She adds.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You try to act innocent as you slyly smirk at Kyra.

"Oh, really? So the baking soda just happened to find it's way inside the ketchup bottle, did it?" Steph narrows her eyes' in the direction of the two of you.

"Maybe" Kyra can't help the shit eating grin on her face.

"I know that look, the pair of you are definitely going to be up to no good" Viv shakes her head.

Jen chuckles in amusement. "You two willl definitely be under a careful watch now incase the next prank gets out of hand" She notes.

"Sure, cos' I'm not going to already be watched like a hawk now anyways, right?" You remark sarcastically, peering up at the older blonde.

"What do you think?" Leah replies back, raising one of her eyebrows.

"You can relax, Le. I'm not going to attempt to kill myself again any time soon" You joke, not realising that now probably isn't the best time to make any type of comment like that.

"Y/N" Kim and Leah both scold you at the same time.

You huff when you realise the pair of them are already ganging up on you and remember that being the baby of the team definitely sucks sometimes.

"What? I'm just saying, I'm not gonna, well unless Leah attempts to try and cook dinner again then it's an easy way out-- Ow! What the fuck?" You continue to make jokes about the situation at hand, jolting in shock when you feel a light pinch on your thigh from said blonde you are sat on.

"Language" Leah states sternly, giving you one of her famous glares.

"That was mean of you to do that! Too soon to make jokes about it then?" You pout and rub your thigh to try and relieve some of the pain. "Yep got it" You add, smiling innocently at the blonde.

"So, I thought you weren't going to come in because it was hard for you?" Katie scoffs at the blonde, deciding to bring the subject up now that you were out of the room, having gone to grab a drink with Jen, Steph and Beth.

"Katie" Viv glances at Katie and exhales a sigh.

"It has been hard Katie" Leah admits, biting her bottom lip.

Katie scoffs again. "Oh? I'm sorry, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you, Leah" she deadpans.

"You don't know how hard it has been, Katie!" Leah shouts loud around the room, attracting a few looks in her direction.

"Wonderful" Steph speaks up first, exhaling a sigh.

"Not again" Beth mumbles, shaking her head.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" You huff as you walk back towards the room with Jen as you can hear the raised voices from the two girls, who weren't seeing eye to eye now

"I think so" Jen agrees.

"Fantastic" You mumble, slowly walking back into the room.

"Oh? And how do you think it's been for Y/N/N? You made the decision to keep her in here!" Katie continues to argue with the blonde, not afraid to be open about her feelings. "You haven't even visited her once while she's been here" she adds.

The Irish girl really hadn't been happy with the whole decision that had been made but there was nothing that she could do herself to stop it from happening.

It had left a tense atmosphere between the two girls and they'd shared a few cross words ever since.

"It wasn't my choice Katie!" Leah insists, continuing to argue with the fiesty Irish girl.

Katie couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. "Sure, but you could have said something to stop it!" she fires back at the blonde, not willing to back down from the argument just yet.

"Girls lets' not do this here" Kim looks between the two of them as she notices you walk back into the room with the older girls.

"Katie, come on, just leave it" Caitlin takes a hold of the girls' hand to try and calm her down.

However, neither of the girls were willing to back down just yet.

They were both just as stubborn as one another sometimes.

"The doctors thought it was best since Y/N/N--" Leahs' words were cut off by you, walking in right at that moment.

"Tried to kill myself, I tried to end my life, and it would have worked if Leah hadn't ran in and stopped me, so everyone thinks keeping me locked up in here it will help to keep me safe"

The room is suddenly so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Whoops?

"Hey, at least the therapy is somehow helping to help me express my feelings now. Yay" You deadpan, plonking yourself back down on Leahs' lap as you rip open the packet of Haribo Tangfastics you had brought from the hospital shop. "So, does anyone want a sweet?" You offer, like you hadn't just said what you did.

[enthusiasticharry]

𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 10k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: I'm so sorry!! I know it's been forever since i've posted and i truly did start writing this to have it out in august but then life got a head of me! I had to move, start a new job it's all be crazy. Now, I can officially say that I'll try and post more regularly (but i can't guarantee anything!) thank you for all the support over the last two and a bit years on this fic, i couldn't ever leave it unfinished for you guys!! enjoy the last chapter of regret me and if you need me, i'll be sobbing in a corner somewhere!!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, talks of drug/ alcohol use, mentions of addiction recovery, angst (i'm sorry), and a stupid little boy who finally realises how amazing he has it.

𝐩𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟓 here

Los Angeles, Spring 1985

The Rise and Fall (and Rise Again) of a Rock n’ Roll Star by Christopher Thomas

Standing in front of YN YLN’s home, I was nervous. The house itself wasn’t exactly what one may expect of one of the biggest stars to come out of the 70s – it was homely, comforting and not necessarily a ‘rock star mansion’. My nerves stemmed more consequently from the woman I was meeting; one I hadn’t seen in over 10 years and hadn’t necessarily left the best impression at that time either.

However, the second I rang the bell and the door swung open – the past didn’t seem to matter. YLN was wearing a denim skirt, one that landed just above her knee and a light floral blouse with long sleeves that the singer had definitely worn before, or if not something very similar. We chuckled when I pointed out her footwear (her beloved cowboy boots) – something that wasn’t surprising to me and shouldn’t be to any of you. She invited me in and offered me a coffee – something that I was not going to say no to.

After a little small talk, asking how we’d been and so forth, it became time to get to the nitty gritty of my visit, and what everyone reading had been waiting for. After being a household name for the better part of ten years – YN YLN was finally a Grammy nominee. For someone who had been in the spotlight for so long, many may have thought that she was past her prime and that her eighth studio album wasn’t going to be anything special – and yet it was her best one.

“I think it’s raw,” YLN spoke when asked about what was different with this record from her others, “I stopped hiding. It’s the truth – I think people are appreciating the truth from me.”

There was a part of me which was scared to go forward with questioning from here, but with a quick reassurance from YN that it was okay – I continued. In the last four months since her album had been released, YN had started to open conversations about her addiction, something that I had asked her about years prior, at a time when she was in the wrath of her addiction and refused to comment. Looking back, it wasn’t my best moment as a journalist.

“I had freedom that I hadn’t even experienced before,” The air felt thicker as YLN spoke upon this subject, “I went from 0 to 100, and if it wasn’t for the people around me that loved me at that time, I wouldn’t be here today, talking to you.”

The house YLN lives in sits right on the Californian coast, a quiet and calm place away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Once we had finished our coffees, YN suggested a walk down to the beach. She explains that her best friend, Vivienne (“She’s my sister,”), lives in the next house and that she hasn’t gone a day without speaking to her since the day they met, and she wasn’t going to start now.

“Vivienne is my family. I lost interest in my actual family when I realised they didn’t love me, but Viv never made me miss them – she became everything I needed and more. She saw me as a naïve young girl on the strip without a single clue and helped me when she didn’t need to. I’ll never be able to thank her enough.”

YLN mentions her family, more so her parents Mr and Mrs YLN. Her father, a senator seemingly didn’t agree with her new lifestyle and her music even more so, and it seemed as though whatever her father said her mother agreed with. When I asked if the way they had treated her had anything to do with her addiction, and her subsequent overdose YN went silent, choosing not to comment verbally but physically shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t regret anything in my life,” YN takes out a cigarette, offering me one which I accept, “I have come to realise that everything happens for a reason, and I’ve loved and lost for a reason. It’s made me the person I am today.”

The last time I spoke with YLN, she was in a relationship with fellow Rock n’ Roll star Harry Styles, who I have also written for in the past. YLN and Styles have never publicly spoken about the reason behind their split, but rumours surfaced soon after that Styles had been the one to cheat on YLN just before her first world tour.

“I would say that for any songwriter, heartbreak can be a big influence,” YLN chuckles, shaking her head slightly, “I won’t say what happened, I think if anyone has listened to any of my records, especially my latest one – you’ll already know what happened. It was one part of my life, and I don’t hold anything that happened against anyone.”

YN asks for a break after this and asks if we can reconvene later in the day. She recommended that we meet at a café for some late lunch that is a mile or so away from her house. I thought, like probably many of you, YLN would return from the beach to her house. Instead, she made her way up the sand and towards Vivienne’s house, obviously needing some time with her best friend.

“I hope that whoever listens to the album finds something for themselves within it,” YN speaks, sipping on her Iced Tea as we sat across from each other in the café, “It’s my gift for everyone. I hope that everyone who has ever had something to say about me or my life listens to it, and it answers whatever questions they may have.”

YLN lists her relationship, her addiction and everything in between as things that people may have questions about. Since the 70s, the amount of information that the public has known about her has dwindled and she says that is for a reason.

“I had to separate my life from the life that people saw,” YLN nods, “To protect myself, I needed that. All I hope is that people weren’t too angry with me.”

Once we’ve eaten (both having burgers since YLN said that it was the best thing on the menu, and both the waitress and the owner knew her by name), we go outside to have another cigarette. We both joked that we would quit smoking one day, but today was not going to be that day.

“I’ll be there… at the awards,” YN responds when I ask her about whether or not she will be attending the Grammy’s, “I don’t necessarily care about winning – it would be lovely, of course, but it’s not going to make or break me. I’ve lasted this long without; I am damn sure I can last for a lot longer.”

As our time together drew to a close, I asked what I suppose myself and many others are wondering – does YN see an end to her career anytime in the future?

YLN chuckled at the question, “I’ll do this as long as I can if the people will have me.”

If it was up to me, I’d say that YLN will be a name that sticks around for years to come. But, I suppose that’s down to you.

“I know your cowboy boots are like you’re thing or whatever, YN, but I highly doubt that it’s the best look for the Grammys,” Vivienne speaks from where she’s laid upon the bed in YN’s hotel room.

“I don’t feel right without them, Viv, I have to wear them,” YN stresses from where she’s sat, having her makeup done.

Pamela snorts from where she’s lying next to Vivienne. Since they met, Vivienne and Pamela have been inseparable. Therefore, that means that Vivienne, Pamela, and YN have been inseparable. It was a package deal, unfortunately for Pamela, but she didn’t mind too much. The things that Pamela did mind though, however that YN not only had a key to their house but would invite herself in pretty much all of the time. It had become the case that waking up in the morning without three people in their bed instead of two was the norm. At first, Pamela would be confused and disorientated, and then she soon realised that was just what the two girls were like. Where there was one, there was the other not too far behind.

“Pam, I’m nearly done and then it’s your turn,” YN stresses, allowing her make-up artist, Claude, to finish the final touches on her makeup.

Pamela groans, dropping back on the bed and pushing herself into Vivienne’s body. The other girl groans but accepts her fate as her girlfriend’s body rests against her. It wasn’t that anyone was forcing Pamela to wear makeup – she knew it was for the best, considering they were about to be on live television, it just wasn’t something that she normally did. But, as much as this was YN’s moment and her first Grammy nomination, it was Pamela’s too – and that meant, in YN’s eyes, she deserved to be spoilt, too. Pamela hadn’t necessarily ever expected her first band to split up, but it was always a possibility. It was a huge life change, and she hadn’t a single clue of what she was going to do once it happened. Then, when YN invited her to the studio and they started to work on some songs together, they both knew that it made sense for all parties involved that Pamela join YN’s band. That has also meant that Vivienne has been the band’s photographer since that moment as well. As mentioned before, the trio are often never seen without each other.

Apart from being the band’s photographer whenever they needed, Vivienne had also opened her gallery – something that she had always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to do.  Seeing her best friend and her favourite person excel in the way that she had done warmed YN in ways that she couldn’t explain.

“Do I have to?” Pamela groaned, pressing her face deeper into Vivienne’s chest.

“Yes,” YN stood up once she had finished, lifting one of the pillows that had been absentmindedly thrown to the bottom of the bed up and hitting the girl with it. It took a few attempts, but soon Pamela had pushed herself up from Vivienne and, with a sulk on her face, sat in the chair, “Thank you. I know you don’t think so, but I’m doing this with your best interest at heart.”

Pamela just groans and crosses her arms over her chest, allowing Claude to get started. Trying her best not to mess her makeup up, YN drops down on the bed next to Vivienne. YN found herself picking at the hole that sat around the wrist of the sweater she was wearing. It was an attempt at not trying to show the nerves that were wracking around her body – but it was difficult, especially when the people in the room were YN’s closest confidants and knew every little tick that the girl had.

“Look,” Vivienne reaches over and grabs YN’s hand, “If you’re nervous about the awards, it’s honestly too fucking unlikely that you won’t win.”

YN snorts, accepting Vivienne’s reassuring squeeze, “Thanks Viv, but I don’t think it’s that.”

“Ah,” The girl nods, “It’s about Harry, isn’t it?”

The announcement for who would be presenting the awards came out a few weeks ago, and whilst YN had originally not thought it was important to know who it would be – it very quickly became obvious that wasn’t the case. When the presenters had been announced, Vivienne had received word of who would be presenting Album of the Year and had immediately rushed over to YN’s house. Being a two-time winner of the award himself (once for Harry’s House, the album that she had written with him), it shouldn’t have surprised YN as much as it did that Harry would be presenting the award.

Knowing that her chances to win were so likely, YN had wondered if it was sort of a set-up. Whoever had decided to ask Harry to do so knew of their past and knew that it would make a lovely bit of new gossip. That was unfortunately where YN’s mind went, and that’s what stressed her out slightly. Especially since her album was so open about her feelings, and even more so about Harry and their relationship – this wasn’t something that she would have ever asked for.

“I’ve just spent so long… so long, Viv, trying to change the narrative of my life,” YN sighs, now starting to pick at the polish on her nails, “And him being there, after I’ve spent so long trying to reclaim my story for me, I’m just scared of how I’m going to react. I don’t want this to be the thing that spirals me right back to the person I was.”

Vivienne sighed, shaking her head, and lifting their joint hands to press a kiss to the back of YN’s hand, “YN… you are not the person you were back then. Trust me, I was right there with you. I mean… God, if that man tries to say anything to me I might lose my shit, but you won’t lose yours. You’ve grown, you’ve matured and most importantly you’ve forgiven yourself. You thought you needed him – but you didn’t.”

YN nodded her head, wanting nothing more than to accept Vivienne’s words and believe them. She hoped she would at least that her face convinced Viv that she was believing her words. The truth was when YN reflected on that time of her life (mostly when she had finished writing her newest record), there were parts of her that wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t reacted the way she had. It was mostly what would have happened to her and Harry if they had handled the situation differently. Because, to YN at that part of her life (and sometimes now) she felt as though Harry was going to be it for her. That she was his, and he was hers.

YN truly did think that she was going to spend the rest of her life with Harry. He saw her and loved her through her hardest times, and yet it was when her life was truly starting to get back on track that she lost her faith in him. It hurt her soul and truly sent her spiralling through the idea that she could only ever be loved when she was broken – and it took her a long time to realise that wasn’t the case.

“It’s just… I think..” YN shook her head, struggling to articulate the words that were swimming around in her head, “My message, especially with this album, is so much more than what we were and what happened to us… I don’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t,” It was Pamela that spoke up this time, from the makeup chair, “You are going to do what you do best, YN, you are going to dodge and dive any of the sleazy questions and hold yourself with grace and fucking win that Grammy. You can even thank him for breaking your heart because it made you stronger, and it made you the person you are today.”

YN smiles, trying her best not to tear up and ruin the makeup that Claude had worked so hard on, “You’re right… it’s my day, not his. And anyway, it’s been so long since we last spoke that I honestly doubt he’s even thought about me.”

“He has,” Vivienne nods, “I know you haven’t listened to his albums – but I have. Trust me, he has.”

“God,” YN’s eyes widen, “Don’t say that! That makes me more nervous!”

Vivienne shakes her head, “No, nope, not letting you do that. Come on, I’m going to do your hair, then you’re going to put your pretty little dress on, and we are going to go and win that award.”

YN knew that it was silly, but if she had these girls behind her – she could do anything she put her mind to.

Chicago, 1975 – 5 minutes after the concert

“YN!” YN didn’t listen to Harry’s calls of her name as she stormed off stage. She had no idea where she was going or what she was doing, but all she knew was that she had to get far away. Far away from Harry, far away from Mary and far away from everyone who would know that something was wrong, “YN! Stop walking away from me!”

“Why would I listen to anything you say anymore?” YN scoffs, wiping the tears from off her wet cheeks. She turned down a hallway and realised that it was a dead end. She stopped and sighed, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get away from him now – and also that they would have to have this conversation where anyone could hear them.

“I need to explain, YN,” Harry sighs from behind her, but she still doesn’t turn to look at him, “Let me explain, please.”

That’s the thing when you love someone – even when they fuck up, you can’t say no to them. That was what YN was struggling with. This man had hurt her, done something inexcusable to her and yet he wanted her to listen, and she was going to do that. It was just who she was, and it’s just what love is.

YN turned to face Harry, slightly shocked at the sight of his reddened face matching hers, “Explain then. Try and explain what I saw!”

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair, “It wasn’t what it looked like at all – she came on to me. I would never do this to you, you know that!”

“You only pushed her off because I was there!” YN exclaimed, “To me, it looked like you would have had ample opportunity to walk away, to push her away to say fucking no, Harry, but she was still on you!”

“I tried, YN, I fucking tried,” Harry claimed, clearly becoming more exasperated by the second, “She was coked out of her fucking mind! She was high, and on an adrenaline rush and there was no stopping her without hurting her!”

“Then fucking hurt her, Harry,” YN points her finger in his direction, “You were supposed to be mine. Mine. Not hers. I fucking knew she was up to something, and I never said a word because I trusted you! I trusted you more than I trusted myself.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Harry shakes his head, “Blame this all on me. Tell me to hurt her and that she was up to something but not once in any of that did you come to me and tell me that!”

“Oh, good one,” YN chuckles, “I didn’t fucking tell you Harry because I trusted you! And I also thought you had eyes and a pretty good eye for this shit. You should’ve fired her months ago, and you know it. The drugs, the booze, the partying – it’s not who you associate with!”

“I associated with you.”

His words stop YN right in her tracks. She couldn’t believe what he was saying to her. She didn’t want to believe what he was saying to her. She had thought that he would’ve never, ever, put her past against her like that and here he was.

“You did,” YN nodded, “You helped me and loved me when I didn’t know I needed that. All I could hope is that you seeing me like that, loving me like that would make you realise that you shouldn’t be around people like that.”

“She’s a good fucking singer, YN, the crowd responds to her. You’re saying I’m just supposed to fire her because she’s an addict? – come off your fucking high horse.”

“No,” YN shakes her head, “I’m telling you that firing her would have been the right option so that she could get help. This life is not the life that addicts need, you and I both know that. You’re enabling her, allowing her delusions to run, and hurting me in the process! You let her get on top of you, let her kiss you. At no point did you think why? Why does she have the confidence to do this to taken man? It’s because she has no inhibitions, no awareness of her actions!”

“So this is all her fault, yeah? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No, I’m saying it’s your fault,” YN took a step forward, pointing her finger against his chest, “You should have realised, you should have put a stop to it. But, now I’m thinking you didn’t want to. Now I’m thinking that you didn’t mind someone coming in and ruining our relationship in this way. I don’t know maybe I wasn’t giving you enough attention, maybe I was getting bigger than you could handle now I’m sober – maybe I don’t ride your dick good enough, I don’t fucking know!”

Harry goes silent, obviously stumped at the girl’s words. Unfortunately for him, that gave YN everything that she needed to know. In her head, all she could think was that he was understanding her, and he wasn’t seeing this from her perspective.

“She hasn’t come in and ruined our relationship, YN,” Harry sighs, shaking his head, “She hasn’t ruined our relationship, you’re the one doing that by not listening to me.”

YN gasps, and that’s it. She lifts her arms and pushes past Harry. He tries to reach out for her, but she pulls away from him.

“YN, you can’t walk away from this,” He calls from behind her, but YN carries on walking. She storms through the hallways, brushing past people lingering in the hallway and hoping that none of them would stop her.

Despite Harry’s calls of her name and the fact that this place is like a fucking maze YN somehow manages to find herself outside. The only problem was Harry had followed her. YN fumbles with her cigarette carton in her pocket and despite her shaking hands she manages to light one.

“Are you finally going to listen to me?” Harry asks, throwing his arms open.

“Are you finally going to listen to me?” She retorts, raising her eyebrow at him.

He shrugs, “What do you want me to say? Sorry? I’m fucking sorry YN.”

YN nods, letting the words settle for a minute. She’d seen this man sorry before, she knew what he was feeling and knew the signs of his true feelings. Whatever he was saying, and trying to express right now she knew wasn’t him. She didn’t know who he was.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore,” YN shakes her head, “I’m going back to the hotel, packing my shit and going home – I’ll see you in L.A.”

YN turns and walks away, ignoring Harry’s calls to her. The fact that he dared to shout that she was the one leaving this relationship and not working on it as she walked away was crazy to her, and yet here he was. She knew that being on the road changed people, but she didn’t think that it would change him this much. He was her everything, and now she didn’t even want to look him in the eye.

There was always a part of her that thought this was too good to be true, and something was going to ruin it. She would be lying if she said that she didn’t think she would be the one guilty of such, but it seems like it was him that caused this and seemingly had little to no remorse for his actions.

As much as it was going to be difficult, she couldn’t let this ruin her tour. More so, she wasn’t going to let it ruin her life. She had worked too fucking hard.

The second that their car arrives on the carpet, YN knows that everything that she was feeling and all of the memories that had been brought to the surface had to be pushed away. This was her night, one to celebrate with her band and her friends and not bring anything from the past up at all.

Out of all of the awards shows she has been to, YN pulled out all of the stops. The dress she had decided upon was a forest green, one which complimented her darkening hair. It had layers and lace, draping around her arms but allowing her figure to be shown at the same time. Vivienne had styled her hair to perfection, just as the girl always does. Even though Vivienne wasn’t a hairstylist by trade, there wasn’t a single person that YN would trust with her hair besides Vivienne. The last and final touch to her outfit was her cowboy boots and despite Vivienne’s protests when she pulled them on – they truly made her feel like herself.

YN isn’t even two metres onto the carpet before a camera is thrust in her face, a reporter standing by, ready to ask her question upon a question that YN had no control over. It was only in the latter years of her career that she found herself truly in the hands of the media. If her name was mentioned before, she wasn’t in a state of mind to know anything of it.

“YN, it’s your first Grammy Awards, how are you feeling? Nervous? Excited?” The reporter asks, thrusting a microphone into her face before she can even think properly.

“Uh,” YN hesitates for a moment before a small smile crosses her lips, “A bit of both of those, I think. It’s an honour to be invited and nominated at that, but it’s also a little nerve-wracking in the same sense. All I do know is that each person who is nominated deserves that win, and even if it isn’t me I’ll still be grateful for the invitation.”

“How do you feel about reuniting with someone from your past today? Harry Styles. I’m sure you’re aware that he’s announcing your category?”

YN’s heart starts to beat ten times quicker, her palms sweating, but she’s thanking God for all of the media training that she’d been given over the years, “I admire Harry so much as an artist, and has won the category twice before – I can’t name anyone more deserving to present the category.”

The reporter doesn’t look too impressed by her answer, but with more thanks to the reporter and a nod from Vivienne, she decides it’s probably time to move on and get inside. YN immediately links her arm with Vivienne’s and tries to calm her breathing down.

“Was that okay? I think I fully blanked for a second there,” YN mutters the second that they are out of earshot of anybody but the two of them, “I honestly think I just spewed absolute shit at them.”

“It was absolute shit,” Vivienne nodded, pushing one of YN’s curls over her shoulder, “But, as far as PR think it was probably absolutely perfect shit.”

The two girls share a giggle. Pamela joins them a few seconds later, having just come out of her interview, and feels a similar level of confusion and delusion to YN. They take some more photos just as they enter the building, and even though there are calls from left and right for photos of YN on her own – she doesn’t stray from her girls. She could’ve, and she knows that in the future, she might regret not having one fully alone on the carpet – but now, the idea of having to stand on her own without Vivienne or Pamela to hold her up was unbearable.

Once they make it inside the building, YN fully intends to beeline straight towards the drinks. She needed something to chug down to get rid of the cottonmouth she currently had. It wasn’t going to be alcohol, and she certainly knew that – but anything would have been better than the feeling that currently was in her mouth.

“Can I have a glass of water, please? Or soda? Or anything without alcohol?” The bartender looks at her confused, as though he wasn’t suspecting anybody to ask for anything non-alcoholic that evening. YN had offered the man a short but sweet smile in thanks, knowing that if she had opened her mouth she might have said something that she would later come to regret, and beelined straight for where Vivienne and Pamela were waiting for her.

“I can wholeheartedly say I have never wished to drink more than I did in that second,” YN mutters with a shake of her head as she stops in front of the two women, “And it’s not for the sake of I wanted a buzz, no it was for the fact that man had sixteen glasses of champagne ready and not a single glass of fucking water!”

“Okay,” Vivienne reached over and placed her hand on Vivienne’s free hand, as the other was currently lifting the glass of water to her lips, “I think the nerves are probably getting the better of us, and drinking is not the solution to that.”

“I’m not going to do it,” YN sighs, dropping the now empty glass back down on the bar, “Have more faith in me than that, it just crossed my mind, that’s all – for ease.”

YN doesn’t notice the partners share a look, one that they both know exactly what that means, and what they are to do. They knew wholeheartedly that this was just YN’s nerves talking, and the second that they got her distracted and sitting down it would all be okay.

“Did I tell you about the man who got in touch the other day?” Vivienne started, immediately realising that she was about to be chatting absolute shit to her friend, but it was better than to let Vivienne sit in a ball of her stress.

“No,” YN shakes her head, accepting another glass of water from the bartender, “What man?”

“Yeah… what man?” Pamela mutters, her entire face pursed with confusion. Vivienne kicks her slightly under the table, “Oh, yeah, that man! How about we walk and talk?”

Vivienne started to rattle on to her about a man who had come into her gallery and asked her question upon question without seeming to be interested in buying anything. It became obvious to YN further on in the conversation that the man wanted to ask Viv on a date, and she had to be the one to break the news that she was in a committed relationship. Even though Vivienne was rattling on, YN knew why she was doing so. It was to distract YN from the thoughts, and more so from the impending reunion that was on the horizon.

Vivienne rattled on until they got to their seats and continued even when they had sat down. It was funny to YN, that these two women would do anything for her, and she would do anything for them – and that included making a story that certainly wasn’t as interesting as they were making it seem so for YN’s sake.

YN was repeatedly kicking herself internally for the fact that every time her eyes darted around the room, there was one person that she was thinking specifically about. The thing that YN didn’t want to face was not being in control when she saw him again. She had learnt so much about how to control herself recently, and that would send her spiralling right back to a place that she didn’t want to be.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” YN spoke once there was a lilt in the conversation, “Don’t want to be needed a piss in the middle of the awards.”

“Okay,” Vivienne nodded, knowing that some time by herself might be what YN needs right now just to centre herself, “Do you need us to come with?”

“No,” YN offers her a smile, “I’ll only be a minute or two.”

When YN weaved her way through the corridors to the bathroom, it was made abundantly clear to her that her time in the bathroom would be spent sitting on a closed toilet rather than doing anything. After a few minutes, she left the cubicle to glance at herself in the mirror and make sure that her makeup and hair still looked okay.

Once she was happy with herself and felt calmer than she did it was the perfect time to make her way back to the awards and hope that it all went smoother.

Just as YN had turned out of the bathroom door, a smile on her face finally – it was made obvious straight away that it wasn’t to last long. That was because standing a few feet away from her was Harry. He was dressed to the nines in a full pinstripe suit, one hand resting in his pocket as he walked towards her.

YN froze completely, unable to move or breathe or simply function. It was a second or so later that Harry noticed her as well, and his movements came to a stop also. His face dropped, just as hers had. It was the first time in ten years that they had been face to face, the last time being the night of her final performance in L.A., when their relationship had ended completely. Even though it had been ten years, when Harry opened his mouth to speak to her, she felt as though she was right back in that moment and that all of the work she had didn’t matter anymore.

“Hi.”

L.A., 1975 – The last performance of YN’s tour

To say that YN was ready for this tour to finish was an understatement.

There was nothing she loved more than performing her songs for the people who loved them – but with everything that was going on behind the scenes, she just wanted to go home and be with Vivienne and Pamela.

Her band had been doing her fucking head in the entire time, not the girls, mainly the boys, but they were all at fault. It was her simple rules, and they seemed to just not understand the consequences of what happens when they break them. It was why for the first time in a while, YN walked into the green room with a certain skip in her step.

The band was lounged around, empty cans and packets of coke on every surface, but YN was past the point of caring. This was their last night together, and she was not embarrassed to say that she was excited to break that news to them.

“Last night,” YN sighed as she dropped down against the sofa, crossing one of her legs over the other (her cowboy boots sat comfortably on her feet), “I didn’t think we’d get here but we have.”

There was a slight chuckle in the room, and then there was a silence. It was a bittersweet moment. This tour had been one of the best and worst times of her life, and there were only so many words in the English language to explain that.

“I’m not one for many words, as you all know,” YN starts before she hears a snigger from one of the boys.

“Unless you’re fucking complaining about some shit.”

A laugh spreads through the room, and even YN is guilty of a smile spreading across her face.

“Normally complaining about you two just being fucking idiots,” She retorts with a smile, “That’s why I’m happy and relieved to say that this is our last show of this tour, and our last show together… because if I ever do this again, it isn’t going to be with any of you.”

For once, the room is silent, and YN feels a wave of accomplishment rush through her veins.

“Now, let’s go and put on the best fucking show of this tour.”

YN turned to walk out of the room, an ever-present smile still resting on her face. Despite what this show was, and what was consequently going to happen because of this – there was at least this positive for her to focus on. As YN prepared to go on stage, standing on the sidelines and hearing the screams and shouts of the people who were here to see her, she realised that nothing was going to ruin today.

“You ready, babes?” Vivienne smiles from behind her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

YN sighs but nods, “I am… is he here?”

Vivienne’s eyes never leave YN’s, but a wave of sadness washes over them, and she nods, “He’s in a green room with his band.”

YN nods. Since that night in Pittsburgh, there’s been no communication between herself, and Harry and she was glad about that. Everything had gone through management, and YN thought that was the best way to do it. It was strange to think that she would be seeing him in the flesh soon, and singing with him once again but it was probably for the best that she hadn’t thought about it at all.

“If you see him, tell him not to be shit,” YN says and Vivienne chuckles, reaching out to give YN’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Don’t you worry,” Vivienne shakes her head, “If I see him, I’ll be saying a whole lot more to him.”

YN just rolls her eyes but is appreciative of her friend, and she knows that Vivienne knows that, too. When YN had first called Vivienne to explain what had happened, Vivienne was ready to jump on a flight and speak her mind to Harry. Once YN had gotten over her initial anger at the situation, Vivienne was there for her throughout the sadness, too. When she needed to cry, Vivienne was always there at the end of the phone to be there for her.

The two girls shared one last hug before it was time for YN to go on stage, to finish the tour that might have actually been the hardest thing she’d ever done, but she would be lying if she said that she hadn’t loved it as well.

Telling her band that she was firing them before the last show could have gone one of two ways. Fortunately for YN, it had gone a better way than many would have expected. They were good at what they did, and they all (she was including herself in this) played the best that they had the entire tour. There was an energy from the crowd that was palpable, and it seemed to be wearing off on the band as well as herself. It was a damn good show if she said so herself.

Just as she was coming to the last song on her set, she received a nod from the side of the stage saying that it was time. Time for her to welcome a guest on to stage, and to pretend in front of thousands of people that this man hadn’t just broke her heart.

Once the cheering has subsided, YN tucked her hair behind her ears and addressed the crowd, knowing it was better to do so like she was ripping a band-aid off rather than drawing it out.

“Now, it’s coming up to the point where we have to say goodnight,” YN smiles, hearing a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd, “And before we do say goodnight, I thought… since it’s the last night of our tour, and you’ve been such an amazing crowd that I’d surprise you all… Now, this guest, he’s someone that’s very special to me. I haven’t seen him, or spoken to him in a while… but he has my heart, and he should always know that… Now, please put your hands together for Mr. Harry Styles!”

There’s a moment where YN doesn’t want to turn to look at Harry, in fact she just wants to ignore that he’s there all together – but she knows she can’t do that. Once she does turn to look at him, she’s shocked at what she sees. It still looks like him, the man that she loved with all of her heart, but he looks worn out, and tired and quite possibly heartbroken.

The band starts to play Cherry and all of a sudden she’s transported back to that night. Everything that happened, everything that he did, everything that she felt rushed back to her body, and flooded every one of her thoughts. It was difficult to keep her composure, and even more difficult not to turn and look at him, but she couldn’t. Not when she had a show to put on, and a tour to finish.

“Don’t you call him [me] baby/ We’re not talking lately.”

As the song was drawing to a close, YN realised that she had to look at Harry. Now that her initial anger and upset had passed, he needed to see how she felt. He needed to see how he had hurt her.

It wasn’t in YN’s plan to change the lyrics, but she couldn’t help herself. A song that Harry and herself had written all those years ago was now resonating in their life in a way that neither one of them could’ve expected.

“Don’t you call her what you used to call me.”

Harry stopped singing when he noticed what she had done, and even with thousands of people in the room it felt as though it was only the two of them, once more, just as it had been on that night. Instead of an anger running through her veins, YN felt sadness, a heaviness. She was grieving the man she knew and the life that she had envisioned for herself because in that moment she realised it was over… for good.

“Thank you all, you’ve been amazing!” YN snapped herself out of her trance and turned back to the crowd, “Thank you for having me, and I’m sure we’ll see you all soon!”

With once last smile and wave to the crowd, YN turned and walked off the stage, leaving her band and Harry standing there. She wasn’t necessarily proud of this action, but it was needed. It was her time to leave this tour, and these feelings in the past – and there was one more thing that she needed to do to ensure that.

“When Harry comes off, tell him to come to my dressing room,” She spoke to Jeff as she walked past him, offering him a small smile as she did.

“Of course.” He replied with a nod.

She paced in the room for a few seconds and then the door opened behind her. She turned, and he was there. It was strange, she had imagined what this conversation was going to be like so many times in her head and now that he was here, she couldn’t think of any of it. All she knew was that she needed to tell him how she felt.

“YN…”

“No,” YN shook her head, biting the side of her lip and resting her hands upon her hips, “I need you to listen to me… and I need you to listen carefully,” There was a slight pause where she had to compose herself from crying, “I love you, and I still love you and I probably always will… but, I can’t do this anymore. I can’t… you couldn’t see it from my perspective, and I don’t know if you ever will, but I know that for myself, I can’t wait and find out.”

“YN…” There were tears in his eyes.

There were now tears in hers, “I will never be able to get that image out of my head, and what you said… It hurt me. I love you and I want you to know that… but we’re over.”

A silence washes over them, as though both of them were coming to terms with what she was saying.

Harry shrugged, “I don’t know what else I can say but I love you.”

“I just saw him,” YN says the second she sits down with Pam and Viv.

Vivienne almost spits out her drink, and Pamela’s mouth drops open, “What do you mean?”

“He was there when I left the bathroom,” YN shook her head, “I just stared at him. I didn’t even say anything.”

“Did he say anything to you?” Vivienne asks and YN nods her head.

“He said ‘Hi’ and then I bolted back here,” YN places her head in the palm of her hands, “I knew that I was going to see him, but I thought it was at least going to be in this room, or when he gets on stage – not after I had a piss.”

Vivienne wraps her arm around YN, “The show’s about to start. Put it out of your mind. You’ve got a Grammy to win.”

That’s exactly what (with a little bit of inner strength) she did. The show started, and awards were given out, and the clock was ticking until it was her category. She kept herself looking cool, calm, and collected to anyone glancing at her, but inside, her heart was racing out of her chest.

“Your next babes,” Vivienne grabbed YN’s hand from the side of her, “Whatever happens, I just want to tell you that I love you and I’m so proud of you.”

YN’s eyebrows lifted, tears collecting in her waterline, “Stop it… or I’ll cry before it even starts.”

“Don’t you worry, babes…” Vivienne squeezed her hand tighter, “I’ll wipe your snot before you go on stage.”

YN rolled her eyes, and the girls shared a chuckle. It was then that the lights dimmed. A round of applause started, and the spotlight hit the stage. Harry was dressed in the same pinstripe suit as she had seen him a few hours before. He stood on the stage, his arms crossed in front of him and a smile on his lips. It wasn’t the smile that YN remembered in her dreams, the one where his dimples and his teeth lit up the world – but it was him.

“As a recipient of this award myself, I am honoured to announce this category today,” he said, cool, calm, and collected, “As much as I’m sure you would all love to hear me chat away, I think it’s probably better for everyone that we get to it. The nominees are…”

YN blanks out as the names are read, but when he speaks her name for the first time in years, she almost melts. It was strange that her body had such a visceral reaction to something that she hadn’t ever thought about before.

“And… the Grammy goes to…” Harry speaks, opening the envelope. It was then that a beaming smile crossed his face, “YN YLN!”

A gasp left her lips, a high-pitched buzz filling her ears. There was a part of her that didn’t believe it, but when she saw Vivienne’s teary-eyed face staring at her – she knew it was real. The girl, who was usually cool, calm and collected was sobbing so forcefully that YN was slightly scared for her.

“I told you, babes!” Once YN pushes herself up from her seat, Vivienne pounces on her in a hug, “I knew it was going to be you!”

“I…” YN shakes her head, her eyes brimming with tears.

“You need to go,” Vivienne places her hands on YN’s cheeks and nods, “Take Pam, and go. Get your fucking Grammy babes.”

YN nods and reaches for Pam’s hand, whose face looks the same as YN does. There was a flash of disbelief as well as pure shock on both the girl’s faces. YN squeezes Pam’s hand as tightly as she can, trying to centre herself as well as be there for the other woman as they walk towards the stage. It’s then that YN hears the clapping from the crowd, and it takes every ounce of strength she has not to burst out into tears.

Then she sees him.

He was standing at the front of the stage, the award clutched in his hand, but at that point, it was almost as though the award didn’t matter. The smile on his face was the one she saw in her dreams when she closed her eyes and thought back to that time of her life. When she doesn’t want to think of the heartbreak or the hardship, when she wants to think of the overwhelming love she felt and had in her body. That was the Harry that she saw standing there, the one who first asked her to come on stage and sing his song with him, the man who gave her everything.

If it wasn’t for Pamela pulling her up the stairs, she would’ve ceased moving altogether. Once she had come to a stop in front of him, he held the award out to her.

“Well done.”

“Thank you.”

That was all she could say before she was pushed in front of a microphone. Pamela tried to slip out of YN’s hand, but she pulled Pamela right to the side of her.

“I hadn’t expected this,” YN chuckles into the microphone, “So I’m sorry if I forget anyone or anything. I think… I want to thank my team, my band, and Pamela in particular, who stayed with me all of those nights when I couldn’t give up and had to finish even though everyone else had left… I want to thank everyone in my life who saw me at my lowest and pushed me to my best. Vivienne. I want to thank you for forever being my best friend, my sister, and my family. This is for you and for everything you’ve ever done for me… and, uh, Harry. I, uh, want to thank you for seeing something in me that night at your show and asking me on that stage… I wouldn’t be here without that. Thank you so much, I’ll keep this forever close to my heart.”

Even though he was standing right next to YN, she couldn’t look at him. When she had given her speech, some thought earlier on in the day, the thought of thanking Harry hadn’t even crossed her mind. Looking back, she assumed it was because she was too nervous to see him that thanking him in her speech hadn’t even crossed her mind. Once she had deemed that seeing him hadn’t been as bad as she expected it to be (minus the stress and also rehashing of memories that she had wanted nothing more than to forget), it was like her brain couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

Music started playing around her, and she saw this as her cue to leave the stage. Grabbing Pamela’s hand, she pulled them off the side of the stage, where she guessed that she was going to have her photo taken.

Just as she started to make her way down the steps, she felt something tug the end of her dress, and she nearly went toppling forward down them. A hand grabbed onto her elbow, steadying her. She turned, and there he was, a concerned look on his face.

“Keep going,” He nodded, “It’s okay.”

Then she felt the skirt of her dress lift, and she didn’t have to worry anymore.

“If it was up to me, you would’ve won for your very first,” A man who YN knew as some studio executive was standing in front of her. There was a strong smell emanating from his person, and the empty glass in his hand, YN assumed it was whisky, “It’s the studio’s fault for not nominating you. I would’ve done that straight away. You would be on your fourth, even fifth nomination and win by now.”

“It wasn’t the studio’s fault,” YN offered him with a small smile, trying to be polite and not as though this was the fiftieth conversation she’d had like this since she arrived, “It was mine. I was in recovery. They couldn’t have nominated me even if they wanted to.”

“Oh,” He seemed surprised, “Anyway, if you ever do fancy a switch in studios, gimme a call.”

“I won’t,” YN offers another smile, “But thanks for the offer.”

YN turns, and spots Vivienne and Pamela coming back and drinks it hand. It happens every time they leave or every time they even turn their back on YN for a second. YN was so proud of herself for having won, but if this was what she was going to get from here on out, she was going to have to mentally prepare herself for such.

“Here is your water, winner,” Vivienne passed her the glass with a smile on her face, and YN rolled her eyes at the girl’s antics.

“Are you going to stop with that already?” YN accepted it and placed the chilled glass against her face, flushing from the heat in the room.

Vivienne shrugs, “I will… once the novelty has worn off.”

YN just rolls her eyes and shakes her head, “I’m going outside for a cigarette, it’s too hot in here.”

“Okay, winner,” YN shakes her head once more, seeing as though Pamela had decided to join in on her girlfriend’s antics as well.

“You’re a winner too, Pam, don’t forget that.”

YN placed a kiss on Pam and Viv’s cheeks before making her way towards the glass doors that opened to a balcony. They were at some fancy hotel that YN assumed she had been at before in her life but couldn’t remember either due to being high or so exhausted that she didn’t know where she was. Once she stepped outside, though, she realised that she had been here before, and it was on neither one of those occasions. It was after that tour had ended, the one where she had broken up with Harry. There had been a party to celebrate the end, and it was here. YN only remembered the view because instead of being inside celebrating, she had been out here, sitting watching the skyline pass by her.

YN pulled her cigarettes out of her bag, slipping one between her lips and lighting it. It seemed like a coincidence that she was here now after so much had changed. She stood, leant against the railing just as she had that night prior, and looked out at the skyline – this time a Grammy winner, but she would not say any less heartbroken.

“Congratulations,” YN didn’t jump at the sound of a voice behind her, but her eyes closed when she realised who it was, “I didn’t get to say that before.”

“You did,” YN mumbles, exhaling smoke as she did so, “On stage.”

He stops and leans against the railing next to her, taking his own cigarette out. She doesn’t turn to look at him but once she does she just nods her head.  

“What’s your plan now? Going to write another?” He asks, turning on his side slightly so that his body is facing hers.

YN just shrugged, turning her body so that she was facing him as well, “I don’t know. What about you?”

Harry sighs, nodding his head slightly, “I’m taking a break. Going back to London, going to spend some time with my family. Gem’s getting married in the summer, and I want to be there.”

“Pass on my congratulations to her,” YN nods, “A break sounds nice. I mean, it’s been ten years for me must be twelve, thirteen for you.”

“Thirteen,” He nods, running a hand over his face, “I need to slow down, I’m not getting any younger here.”

YN exhales a laugh, “We all know that’s the truth… and in hindsight, I don’t think a break is ever on the cards for me. As long as I’m breathing, I’ll probably be making music.”

YN had said it before, and she’d say it again – as long as she was making music that people enjoyed, she’d do it for as long as they let her.

“Speaking of music…” He looks away from her for a second and back out onto the skyline, “You didn’t have to thank me in your speech… I know it probably wasn’t the easiest thing you’ve ever done.”

YN just shakes her head, turning to look at him even though he wasn’t looking at her, “It was just the truth. I truly would not be here if it wasn’t for you. Without you pulling me on that stage that night, God I dread to think what my life would look like. I’d probably be in some unhappy marriage, with a husband who I hate and kids that hate me – just like my parents.”

Harry finally turned to look at her, “It was nothing.”

YN shakes her head once more, “It wasn’t.”

Harry clears his throat, “I know… I know I’ve done this before, and I know last time it didn’t go the way that I wanted it to, okay? But YN, I swear to you… I am so sorry about everything that happened. Looking back, you were right. I was enabling her, and not only that, but I was also hurting you in the process. I can never forgive myself for that… and I’d understand if you never forgave me as well.”

YN sighs, immediately feeling tears starting to well within her eyes, “It’s okay… it’s been too long now, it’s water under the bridge.”

As YN spoke, her voice cracked. She hadn’t realised that even though her mind knew what she wanted to say, her body betrayed her. She hadn’t realised what was building within her as he spoke, even more so when she did.

When she turned to him, there were tears in his eyes just as they were in hers. Standing here, with him after all of those years – no matter how much he had hurt her, there was a part of her that still loved him. She loved him, the life he gave her, the memories they had – the way he made her feel. She tried not to go back to that chapter of her life if she could help it, to stop the pain from resurfacing, but oftentimes, it was the memories of love that she welcomed the most.

Harry dropped his cigarette down on the floor, squashing it with his heel so that it was out. YN turned to him once more, watching as a tear slipped down his face. He immediately reached up and wiped it off his cheek.

“Listen, YN, if you ever do fancy that break London’s just a plane ride away,” He turned as though he was going to walk away, but then he stopped and turned back around, “And I’m always just a phone call away.”

With that, he turned and walked away.

[vivwritesfics]

Electric Dream Machine

Electric Dream Machine is just opening for Papaya until the release of their first album. Logan just enjoys being around Papayas guitarist

Viv's AUgust Event

(Banner by @nurse-floyd )

It was a temporary arrangement, something they had to do before they made it big themselves. Just while their album was being made.

The tour with Papaya wasn't all bad. He'd grown up alongside their bassist, Oscar, and Lando wasn't all that bad once you got to know him. Carlos was an interesting guy, a lot to deal with when he and Lando were together. Their guitarist was Logan's favourite, but he'd never admit to that. It didn't help that she was pretty.

Electric Dream Machine was a stupid band name. When their manager, James, had approached the four of them, they'd protested. But it was Electric Dream Machine or hit the road.

The music was theirs, and that was all that mattered. The name might have sucked, but the music spoke for itself. Lance's dad was helping fund the creation of the album and paying for them to follow Papaya on tour, opening for them.

The perks of having a ultra rich drummer.

Logan wasn't the most social person in the world. He wasn't rude by any means, but he wasn't the best with people. Shy, the was it. He was shy. Even on the Papaya bus, he sat on his own as Alex, George and Lance sat with Lando, Carlos and Oscar.

The Papaya guitarist was somewhere on the bus, Logan didn't know where. He tried not to make it look like he was looking around for her, but he couldn't help it. She was always kind to him, always going out of her way to include him in conversations.

"Hey."

When had she sat down next to him? A blush covered his cheeks as he slightly turned his head towards her. He couldn't look her in the eye as she sat back, legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankle. "Why aren't you over there?"

Logan shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't feel like it," he answered and copied her pose. Legs stretched out, crossed at the ankle.

She gave a nod. "How is the album coming along?" She asked him, voice sincere.

Logan gave her a small smile. The album. It was a topic he loved talking above more than anything. So many of the songs on the album were his. Don't Stop, Greenlight, Wherever You Are, Never Be, Lost Boy, they were all his.

He was actually animated as he spoke. It was lovely to see, had her grinning as she listened. Seeing Logan like this made a nice change to his usual demeanour.

"I can't wait to hear it," she said when he was done.

His blush deepened. "You wanna listen to it?"

The scoff she released had him worried for a second, but she punched him in the shoulder in that comforting way. "Hell yeah I wanna listen to it! You guys are great!" She insisted. Her smile was so damn sincere, Logan couldn't get enough of it.

The conversation went on. She asked about the name, Electric Dream Machine, and Logan didn't blame her for that. He knew the name sucked, too.

"You guys got any merch yet?" She asked, looking around as they pulled into the venue. Logan gave a nod. "Brilliant, I want a shirt," she said and stood up.

Their shirts were embarrassing. The four of them stood with their instruments with 'Electric Dream Machine' printed behind them. But she wanted it, so Logan gave it to her.

***

"You're not seriously wearing that tonight, are you?" He asked as he followed Lance, George and Alex off stage. He placed his guitar on the stand and looked around.

There she was, wearing the Electric Dream Machine shirt Logan had given her before the set. When he'd given it to her, it had been white. But there was a lipstick stain just above Logans head. His breath caught in his throat.

"Go away, Carlos," she said with a sickly sweet smile as she picked up her guitar.

She went out on stage with the Electric Dream Machine shirt covering her body. It was quite a sight, and it had Logan unable to take his eyes off of her.

It wasn't right for them to be together on the tour, was it? Her band was so much more successful than his, and Logan didn't want her to think he was using her.

As the tour went on, she got flirtier with him. But Logan kept his distance. He liked her, obviously he liked her, but refused to do anything about it.

The remainder of the tour was miserable for the both of them. Hopeless pining that would never be anything more.

[chaifootsteps]

Just watched Full Moon and god I am so unbelievably angry. Stolas really tricked me into thinking he was going to do something decent for a second just to instantly get butthurt when Blitz didn't immediately process everything and respond the way he wanted him to.

Then when Blitz voiced his grievances he starts crying and guilt tripping him like a nice guy as if he didn't acknowledge that everything Blitz said was technically true himself? And again before Blitz can even say anything he just?? kicks him out??

Like. this was not even a fucking conversation he just dumped a bunch of shit on Blitz, didn't let him talk and then ran away from it like a child.

Of course everyone in the comments is saying what a great and deep character Stolas is. Can't wait for people to blame Blitz for not playing along with Stolas's delusions again.

Someone even said that this must be Blitz's biggest nightmare because he "might've gained Fizz back as a friend but he lost Stolas" lol. Lmao even. Sounds like an amazing trade for him considering Fizz is actually someone he likes being around while Stolas actively makes him miserable every time they interact.

Seriously I don't understand how Viv can expect anyone to ship them even if you look past the fucked up shit Stolas does. There is no point in the show where they're on screen together and just have a nice moment it's always just them being sad or angry and either arguing with eachother or being overly sexual I'm so tired

100% agree with all of this.

Stolas acted like the spoiled, manipulative child he is and in a kinder world, Blitz would run straight back to Fizz and they'd spend the night laughing over their celebratory drinks.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Playing Favourites IV

Arsenal Women x Child!Reader

Summary: You're sad

There's something wrong with you but Leah can't quite work out what it is.

At first, it was the fact that you didn't come running to hug her when she surprised you at nursery a few days ago. Then, it was the way you were so quiet and sullen on the drive back to London. But finally, it was the way you didn't want to greet any of her teammates when you arrived at the training ground this morning.

You've been quiet and withdrawn all weekend and Leah had hoped that seeing everyone would make you happy again.

It's clear that there's no such luck.

You scuff your shoes in the dirt when you get out onto the pitch, suddenly more interested in playing with the loose threads of your shirt rather than running off to go see Alessia or Katie.

"What's up with the bean?" Katie asks as she watches you sit down on the ground and dig a little hole with a stick.

"I don't know," Leah replies, feeling completely defeated," She's been in a bad mood ever since I picked her up from nursery. I've no idea what's happened."

"Nothing?" Katie asks," Nothing at all?"

"She's said absolutely nothing," Leah says as she passes the ball between them," She's been trying to avoid me too and I just don't get why."

They both turn to look at you. Alessia's crouched in front of you, talking to you softly but you keep turning away from her. She tries to talk to you again but you keep moving away until your back is facing her and she's being called away to get back to training.

"You could take her to see Win," Katie offers," I'm sure puppy cuddles will open her up."

"Yeah, maybe."

In the end, with no other options left, Leah takes you to see Win.

You've never met Win before. She looks nice though and sits and waits for you to come to her. She nudges her nose against your hand and licks it, sending you into a wave of giggles.

"Yeah," Leah says," Win's a sweetheart, isn't she?"

You nod and go to pet Win some more.

Katie and Alessia are here too. You don't know why and that makes you a little nervous. They're hovering too, like Leah is as you get puppy cuddles from Win.

You kind of want your own puppy but you know Mummy won't let you get one. You've already got Bella at home but Bella's not your dog and she doesn't give you lots of cuddles or sleep in bed with you like a puppy of your own would.

"Hey, bean," Lessi says as she comes to sit criss-cross-apple-sauce in front of you and Win," How are you feeling?"

That's a weird question, you think and you frown a little bit.

"I like puppy cuddles," You answer.

Lessi nods but flashes a look over your shoulder where you know Leah and Katie are standing.

"That's nice," Leah says. She crouches down next to you, a hand on your shoulder. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

You think for a moment, biting at your lip. You turn away from your sister, distracting yourself by adjusting Win's collar. "I want a puppy too. Leah, can I have a puppy?"

She frowns. Clearly, that's not what you're meant to say.

"Sorry, bean," She says," I don't think Mum would be happy if I brought you home with a puppy."

You sigh and Leah can clearly see the moment you switch back to how you were all weekend. Clearly, Win's presence was only a temporary solution.

Your mood worsens considerably when you have to go home and you're quiet and withdrawn for the entire night and the next morning.

It's really worrying Leah and she tries to bring your mood up by sending you off with your favourite people but none of them help.

Lia tries to get you to read with her. Kyra tries to get you to play. You absolutely refuse to nap with Lotte. You're temporarily happy when Viv shows you pictures of Myle but it only makes you turn to Leah to ask for a puppy of your own again.

It all circles back to the end of the day where you sit with Win. You're on the floor at reception, pulling on a piece of rope that Win's got in her mouth while Leah, Katie and Alessia all sit in the surrounding chairs.

"She isn't sick or anything?" Lessi asks," I've heard kids' moods change when they're sick."

"Not sick," Leah confirms," I checked her temperature last night. Unless she's somehow sick with her only symptoms being a mood change, it's unlikely. I just..." She sighs. "I've no idea what's up with her."

"Leah," You call out," Can I please have a puppy?" You've tried to make your voice sound upbeat and happy as you ask, almost as if you've been eavesdropping on the conversation but Leah knows you're way too invested in cuddles with Win.

She can tell your tone is fake though, as if you think that by smiling and acting happier she won't be able to see right through you.

"Sorry, bean," Leah says again," Mum will kill me."

The fake smile melts off your face instantly and you crumble in on yourself again. Your shoulders slump inwards and you turn away again.

"Hey, bean," Katie says suddenly, sitting in front of you and Win," Why do you want a puppy so much?"

You shrug, stroking your hands through Win's fur and giving her belly tickles. "Puppy would be my friend."

"The puppy would be your friend?" Katie repeats and you nod," That's nice. But why do you need a puppy friend?"

You shrug again, not willing to look up at Katie because your eyes sting with tears. "The puppy would be my friend forever."

"What's up, huh, bean?" Leah pulls you into her lap. "Why do you need a puppy friend so much? Talk to me."

You sniffle a little bit as a few tears leak down your cheeks. "I don't have nursery friends," You say," Puppy friend will be better."

"You don't have friends at nursery?" Leah asks. She stands you up, turning you around and cupping your face so you can't look away. "What do you mean you don't have friends to nursery?"

"They're mean," You say," They're not my friends."

"And you want a puppy so you can have friends?"

You nod miserably. "I don't have friends."

"You have friends." Lessi appears over your sister's shoulder. "I'm your friend, bean, and so is Katie."

"Really?"

"Of course we are," Katie says," And so are Kyra and Viv and Lia and Lotte and the whole team!"

You're not too convinced but Katie doesn't lie to you and she's nodding at you and looking very truthful so you force yourself to believe her.

"I'm your friend too, bean," Leah says and you shake your head.

"No. You're my sister."

"But I can be your sister and your friend!"

You think that over for a moment before you lean into Leah's arms and tuck your face into her shoulder. "Really?"

"Of course, bean."

"And you're a forever friend?"

Leah's arms close around you tightly, drawing you even closer to the safety of her body.

"Yes, bean. I'm a forever friend."

[sugarrushproductions]

Hazbin Hotel Finale Spoilers!! You have been fucking warned!!!

Viv you wonderful troll you! I called both Adam and Pentious dying, but I didn't expect to see the latter in heaven and the former meeting his end because of Nifty!

EP 7 doesn't have much I want to talk about, though a quick thing about all the songs. The only one I truly loved was Carmila's the rest were fine and I loved all the callbacks to previous songs.

Dude, the fucking rollercoaster of emotions I felt at the end-

Rosie is great, I still say her and the cannibal's are hellborn until I'm proven otherwise

I'm scared for that deal. I hate IOU deals, Al could ask Charlie for anything.

Vaggie gets her wings back, yeah!

Carmila's shoes being her weapons was amazing!

I think that's it for EP 7.

The bar scene with Huskerdust 😍

I think we saw Husk starting to really fall for him.

Them this whole finale is just so cute, I want more!

Nifty instantly going after Angel after Charlie tells her to stab angels is just perfect.

Nifty and Al, jeez, I didn't expect to be so cute.

The little roach crown 🥺

We were all worried for nothing, Charlie is just emotional.

Also, Chaggie kiss! Now Huskerdust and I'll be set!

The V's are literally just watching them and I feel like some of their reactions

Alastor has been holding back. His fight with Adam is amazing.

And he has a mask... Did not expect that.

Seeing him curse again was amazing.

Charlie is so cute!!!

Angel and Cherri are a power duo!

Husk is so real!

So it seems Adam really did eat the apple.

Vagatha.... I love you Pentious.

"These fucking angels won't stop coming!"

"Ha!"

"Ok, I walked into that one."

That whole exchange is gold.

Lucifer Ex Machina! Yes!

I love his fight with Adam. It's so much fun!

Husk used his wings to shield the others, I'm crying!

Luci, hun, that's not how you say that..

And shut up Val!

Ok, but really, Velvette looks so cute in this.

Fat Nuggets is alive! And Keekee too! Yay!

I was sad about Pentious dying

Then surprised and happy to see him in heaven!

I actually figured he'd been the first to be redeemed. Sorry Angel.

But seriously, suck it Sera!

Speaking of heaven....

How the FUCK did Lilith get there? Why is she there? How the hell could she just abandon her family?

Also, I can't believe they fo

So many fucking questions, Season two needs to come so quickly.

The Hotel looks so cool! I can't wait see it in action.

I know I missed a lot, but God damnit this show is awesome!

[mymindcreatedthis]

Under the blanket 18+

Viv Miedema x Reader

Word count: 5,311

Summery: Viv, reader and some of the Arsenal girls get together for dinner and a movie. Reader and Viv cuddle and share a blanket. Viv and Reader risk it and get a bit handsy under the blanket as some of the girls sit near them.

Warning: smut, Sexting, ab teasing, grinding, teasing, unprotected sex, Creampies, handjob, cumshot, blowjob, Throatpie, Spit kink: Spitting on face and in mouth. squirting, positions:standing up, laying down, Riding, Stomach Bulge, spanking. (R doming Viv) (Viv receiving)

*Y/n's pov*

Today we hand training, we have training at 8:30 am, it's 7:50 am right now. I turn off my alarm, I grab my phone and send Viv a text.

Me: Hey bud, you up? It's 7:50 and training is at 8:30.

Viv: Yeah I'm up.

Me: Okay, I'll drive us to training.

Viv: Okay I'll see you in a bit.

I set my phone off to the side. I make a shake for breakfast, and get ready for the day. I drink my shake and brush my teeth and hair.

I put my hair up in a ponytail. I put shoes on, I text Viv to let her know that I'm getting ready to leave. Viv meets me at my car.

I smile and peck her lips, Viv smiles and kisses back. "Hello love." I say.

Viv giggles and blushes a bit. "Hi love, ready for training?"

I smile and nod. "Yup, come on let's move that tight fit ass of yours before we are late to training."

Viv smiles and blushes darkly. We get in the car and I start the car and drive us to the fields. Me and Viv have been talking and have been flirting and getting serious.

We still haven't had any sex yet but we have been on multiple dates. I was kinda waiting to ask her out until we had sex cause I wanted our first time to be special and have meaning.

I smile and place my hand on her thigh and gently rub her thigh as I drive us to the fields. Viv smiles and places her hand on mine.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" Viv Asks.

"Um yeah actually I was gonna ask you if you and the girls wanted to come over to mine tonight and Oder in and have a movie night." I say.

Viv smiles. "I would be down for that. Can you and me cuddle and share a blanket?" Viv asks.

"Yeah of course. What kind of food do you want?" I say.

The girls know about Viv and I and think that we would make a cute couple. "Chinese sounds good." Viv says.

"Yeah Chinese does sound good. We can do Chinese food." I say.

Viv smiles, we get to the fields and park the car. Me and Viv walk together and go into the locker rooms, we out stuff in the lockers and join the girls on the field. We stretch and then start doing one on one drills.

Me and Viv go against each other, Viv tries to nutmeg me but we both trip and fall. I move and help cushion her fall to avoid her getting hurt.

"Ahh sorry babe, you okay?" I ask her.

"Y-Yeah sorry love I shouldn't have tried to nutmeg you." Viv says.

I chuckle a bit. "Mmm I can get use to this." I say. Viv was laying on top of me and my hands were on her ass. "Mmm your ass looks amazing in these shorts. I can't tell you how much I want to eat your ass." I say and squeeze her ass.

Viv giggles and blushes darkly in embarrassment. "Mmm I bet you would love. I bet you would love for me to sit on your face."

"Mmm I really would like that." I say.

Viv smiles and gets off me and helps me up. I smile and tap her ass. "Thanks love."

We continue to do one on one drills. After 45 minutes we switch over and do a practice scrimmage game, during the scrimmage game I take a nasty side tackle from Kyra and fall to the ground.

I gasp and wheeze in pain, Kyra's cleat jabbed my leg. "Ahh fuck!" I shout in pain and hold my leg. Viv is the first one to come to my aid.

"Shit Y/n. Are you okay?" Viv asks. She glares at Kyra and tries to go after her but I grab her leg.

"No no! Viv stop." I say in a firm voice.

This works as Viv halts, Kyra gets nervous and steps back away from Viv. "I'm sorry Y/n I didn't mean to it was an accident." Kyra says.

I look over at Kyra and she is pale and looks like she's shitting herself. "Woah Kyra breath. Deep breaths." I say.

Kyra nods and takes deep breaths. "It's okay Kyra, I know it was an accident. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

I look at Viv. "Viv." Viv looks over at me. "Can you help me up please?" I ask her.

Viv unclenches her fists, she stands down and helps me up. I sigh, and groan in pain and hug Viv. "Please, Viv baby it's okay. I'm okay, it was an accident."

Viv nods, she breaks away from the hug and plays with my fingers. "I'm sorry love. I thought she hurt you."

"It's okay, just a little banged up." I say, I kiss her head. I smile and wrap my arm around Kyra's shoulder.

"Come on kid, let's keep playing." I say.

Kyra smiles and nods, we get back to our positions and continue playing the game. After a while coach blows the whistle letting us know that practice is over. We head back to the locker rooms.

*Viv's pov*

Me and Y/n go into the locker room. Me and her have showered multiple times when it was just me and her in here. I was at my locker getting my clothes ready,

The girls were showing, or just finished showering and getting dressed. I look over and see Y/n sitting in front of her locker and messing around on her phone.

Some of the girls finish up and grab their things and leave the locker room. The rest of the team hits the showers and get cleaned up, they shower and get dried off and get dressed. Once they are dressed they grab their things and leave the locker room.

Soon it's just me and Y/n left in the locker room. I smile and walk over to her, Y/n was typing on her phone. She was typing out a group text message. She clicks send, I smile and take the phone out of her hands, I set the phone off to the side and sit in her lap.

Y/n smiles and wraps her arms around me. "Mmm hello." Y/n cutely says.

I smile and kiss her, Y/n smiles against my lips and kisses back. I break the kiss and look at her. "Mmm wanna shower together?" I ask her.

Y/n smiles and nods, I get off her lap. I help her stand up, we strip each other's clothes and hit the showers. Y/n starts the shower and pulls me close to her and kisses me deeply, she holds me against her. Both of us stand under the water, the water soaks our hair and bodies.

I smile against her lips, I break the kiss and we start cleaning up. I help her get cleaned up, she rinses off and helps me get cleaned up, I rinse off once we finish in the shower I turn off the shower.

We get dried off and get dressed. "The girls will be over in an hour." Y/n says.

"Okay." I look over at her, I point my finger at her. "We still gonna get Chinese food?" I ask.

Y/n cutely giggles and raises her hands. "Well of course my lady." Y/n says.

I smile. "Good Chinese and cuddles.... Oh and sharing a blanket." I say.

Y/n smiles and nods, we grab our things and get in Y/n's car. We head back to the apartments. Y/n parks the car and we go back to her place.

"Wanna pick the movie out love?" Y/n asks.

"N-No I'll wait, we can let the girls pick the movie." I say.

Y/n nods, she gets everything set up. I smile and watch her she was so cute. She looks like a toddler preparing for her friends to come over for their first sleep over.

Y/n smiles when she sees me smiling and watching her. "What?" She asks smiling.

"You're cute. You look like a toddler preparing for their first sleep over with her friends." I say.

Y/n giggles and grabs her phone, she starts making phone calls and writing down the girls orders. She finishes calling them and calls the Chinese place and places an order for pick up. Y/n turns on the tv and goes to Amazon prime.

There's a knock on the door. "Ooo that must be the girls." Y/n squeals in excitement and jumps over the back of the couch.

I giggle at her childish behavior. "You're such a dork." I call out after her.

Y/n opens the door and lets the girls in. Katie, Kyra, Alessia, Beth, Kim, Victoria, Caitlin, Lotte and Lia come in.

"No Leah?" I ask.

"No she was gonna help us out and pick up the food." Y/n says.

I nod, I see Kyra and hug her. "Hey kid, I'm really sorry about earlier. It was an accident, I shouldn't have reacted that way. I shouldn't have came at you like that, I'm sorry." I say.

Kyra hugs back and pats my back. "It's okay Viv, I forgive you. It's okay, I know you were just looking out for her." Kyra says.

I smile and nod. "Yeah cause our little Vivie is In love." Lia and Victoria say teasing me.

I blush darkly as they say this. "S-Shut up." I say stuttering a bit.

Y/n smiles and wraps her arms around me from behind. "It's okay because I'm head over heels for her." Y/n says.

The girls laugh and make kissing noises, they make themselves at home. We wait for Leah to get back with the food. We sit in the living room, I sit with Y/n and lean back against her. Y/n smiles and wraps her arm around me, we flip through Amazon prime and adjust for a bite on what we should watch.

20 minutes go by and Leah comes back with the food. We move into the kitchen, we sit at the table and eat our food and make small talk as we eat.

"I'm not sure what you guys want to watch. I'm down to watch anything, I don't mind." I say starting a conversation.

"What about romance?" Kyra asks.

"I vote for Romance." Y/n says.

Katie chimes in. "What about horror?" Katie asks.

"No babe, no horror movies. I won't be able to sleep tonight." Caitlin says.

Katie smiles and flexes her arm. "It's okay babe, I'll protect you."

Caitlin giggles and touches her girlfriend's arm. "Mmm really? You'd be my knight in shining armor?" Caitlin asks.

Katie smiles and nods. "Of course." I smile and watch their interaction as I eat my food. We finish eating and move into the living room, Y/n and I lay on one of the couches and lays a blanket on us.

Girls agree on a movie, we decided to watch 'Remember the titans' I lean back into Y/n. "Can you take off your shorts and mine? It's getting hot." I whisper to her.

Y/n nods, she slides my shorts off under the blanket leaving me in only my shirt and panties. Y/n slips off her shorts as well leaving her in only her shirt and boxers.

She spoons me and presses her front against my back. I blush a bit as I feel her bulge press and rub against my ass. Y/n wraps her arm around my waist, she slips her hand under my shirt.

She traces my slightly scratches my abs. I bite my lip as this turns me on and makes me wet, I move my ass back and slowly grind against her.

Y/n quietly moans In my ear. I smirk, I bite my lip, I lower my hand under the blanket and rub her bulge over her boxers. Y/n moans into her hand, I lick my palm and slip her hand in her boxers.

I wrap my hand around her dick and slowly stroke my dick, Y/n quietly moans and grabs my ass in pleasure as I continue to stroke her dick. Mmm fuck I wanted to feel her inside me so fucking bad.

I rub my thumb over her tip and feel her precum leak out. She was really throbbing and really needed a release, I bite my lip to keep in a moan as she squeezes my ass.

*Y/n's pov*

I bite my lip and give her ass a squeeze, I quietly moan in Viv's neck. I place kisses on her neck, Viv pulls my boxers down freeing my dick from its confinement.

She strokes my dick a bit faster I quietly moan and squeeze her boobs. "Mmm fuck." I quietly moan In her ear. Viv presses my tip against her ass as she continues to stroke my dick faster than before.

I see Viv grab her phone and see that she is texting me. My phone buzzes I had it on silent, I grab my phone and check it. I smirk at her text.

Viv: Take off my bra under my shirt.

I do as she requests, I slip my hand under her shirt. I undo her bra and slip her bra off under her shirt and set it off to the side next to our shorts under the blanket.

Viv strokes my dick faster. I moan quietly as I feel myself getting close to cumming. "I'm close baby, I'm gonna cum." I whisper in her ear.

Viv grabs her phone again. I smirk and grab my phone.

Viv: Lower my panties and cum on my ass baby.

I moan quietly in her ear. I smirks and get an idea, I slide my dick between her legs and folds. I grab my phone and text Viv back.

Me: I'll do you one better, I'll use your folds for friction.

I smirk and rub my dick through her folds. Viv covers her mouth and moans into her hand as I slowly thrust back and forth sliding my dick between her folds. Viv quietly moans and hides her face in my neck.

I thrust back and forth a bit faster. I quietly moan in Viv's ear as my balls tighten.

Cumshot:

I can't take it anymore, ropes of thick cum glazes her folds, cum shoots onto her thighs, onto her abs. The cum accidentally makes my dick slip inside her. Viv blushes darkly, her eyes widen as my cum oozes and spurts inside her.

Viv bites her lip and slowly slides back and forth on my dick helping me ride out my high as the last of my cum oozes and spurts inside her painting her walls white.

"F-Fuck I'm sorry." I whisper in Viv's ear.

Viv smiles. "It's okay baby you finished in the right place." Viv says whispering back to me.

I smile and rest my head against hers. Viv grabs her phone and texts me again.

Viv: Can we cuddle and watch the movie with your dick inside me.

I smile and nod, I warp my arm around her and hold her close to me as we continue to watch the movie. I smile and kiss her neck and shoulder.

"Mm you're so beautiful." I say.

Viv smiles and leans back against me. "Mmm thank you. So are you baby." Viv says.

I bite my lip as her walls clench around me. "Mmm fuck baby you're so tight. You feel really good clenched around me." I quietly moan to Viv.

Viv giggles. "Mmm I love you deep inside me." Viv whispers back to me. We continue watching the movie after a while the movie ends, the girls decided to call it a night as it was getting late.

Leah lock the door behind her and leaves the apartment, as soon as Leah leaves the apartment Viv rips the blanket off us, she takes my dick out of her and lays on the couch between my legs.

I bite my lip and quietly moan as she slowly strokes my dick. I moan as she does this, "mmm fuck." I moan.

"You like that baby?" Viv asks as she strokes my dick a bit faster.

Once I'm hard Viv takes my dick in her mouth and slowly bobs her head. "Mmm fuck." I moan, I run my fingers through her hair.

Viv hums against my dick and bibs her head a bit faster. "Holy shit.... Mmm fuck right there." I moan.

Viv massages my balls and sucks the soul out of my dick as she continues to give me head. "Holy shit I'm gonna cum buckets if you keep doing that." I moan.

I moan as I feel myself getting close to cumming. Viv chokes and gags a bit as the tip of my dick hits the back of her throat. Viv deep throats me as she continues to give me head.

"Guck...Guck....Guck." Viv makes noise as she deep throats me after 5 more minutes of an amazing blowjob I feel my balls tighten.

"Viv baby, I'm gon-"

Throat pie:

I can't take it anymore, I bust my load in her mouth. Viv chokes and gags a bit as I cum in her mouth and down her throat. Viv swallows my load, she gets the last of my cum and swallows it.

"Mmm fuck." I moan.

Viv giggled and places kisses in my V line and abs. "Mmm you taste amazing love." Viv says.

"Mmm I need more of that dick baby." Viv says seductively.

Fuck that's mmm may have been this hottest thing I've heard. She helps me sit up, she sits on my lap and straddles me. Viv lines my tip up with her entrance.

She pushes the tip of my dick in her and slowly sinks down on my dick taking my length deep inside her. "Mmm fuck so wet and tight." I moan in pleasure.

"All for you baby. Fuck I thought you were big in my mouth but I feel so full with you deep inside me." Viv moans.

She takes a moment to adjust to my size. We both moan as she slowly slides up and down on my dick, I moan and place my hands on her hips as she slides up and down on my dick.

We both moan as she goes a bit faster. "Mmm fuck baby you're really deep in there." Viv moans.

Viv moans and massages my boobs as she continues to ride my dick. Her skin slaps against mine as our moans fill the room. I moan and spank her ass. Viv moans and rides my dick faster and harder.

"F-Fuck." I moan in pleasure.

Viv massages my boobs roughly as she keeps riding my dick faster and harder. "Gah fuck, feels so good." Viv moans.

"Mmm you like that baby? Me balls deep inside you stretching you out?" I ask.

Viv moans and grips the back of the couch behind me as she rides me faster and faster. "Fuck fast I love it. I love you stretching me out." Viv moans.

I moan loudly in pleasure as I feel myself getting closer to cumming. "Gah Viv, baby slow down I'm gonna cum." I moan in pleasure.

"I know baby, cum in me. You've been throbbing all night and really need a release baby girl." Viv moans.

I nod, fuck I needed to cum so bad. I moan and watch Viv as she continues to ride my dick. Her tits bounce up and down as she continues to ride me.

"You close baby? You gonna bust your load deep inside my slutty pussy?" Viv asks seductively.

"Mmm I'm gonna pump you full of cum." I moan in pleasure.

Viv grips the back of the couch tighter as she confides to ride my dick faster and harder. I moan loudly in pleasure as I feel myself getting closer to cumming.

"Viv baby I'm gonna cum." I moan loudly in pleasure.

Creampie #1:

I moan in pleasure, I can't take it anymore. I bust my load deep inside her. Viv moans and cums all over my dick. We both moan as I continued to shoot ropes of thick cum deep inside her and paint her walls white.

We both moan as my cum continues to ooze and spurt inside her. Viv gasps and moans as I unload my seed inside her.

"Mmm fuck there's so much cum." Viv moans.

I help her ride out her high, once we both come down from our highs Viv slowly slides off my dick. Thick cum oozes out of her and drips into my lap, on the couch and on the carpet.

"Mmm fuck." Viv moans as my cum continues to ooze out of her.

I lay us on our sides, Viv moans as I rub my tip through her cum glazed pussy. I moan and slide my dick back inside her cum filled pussy. I moan as her walls clench around me.

Viv moans as she takes my dick back inside her. "Fuck love your so tight and wet." I moan as I'm back inside her, I moan and kiss her.

*Viv's pov*

I moan as Y/n slides her dick back inside my cum filled pussy. "Mmm fuck, so tight and wet." Y/n cutely moans.

I smirk and moan, Y/n moans and kisses me deeply and lovingly. Y/n breaks the kiss and rests her head against mine, she lifts my leg a bit and holds it. Y/n locks eyes with me as she slowly thrusts in and out of me.

I wrap my arm around her shoulder. Y/n and I both moan as she thrusts in and out of me a bit faster. "Mmm fuck, I love you balls deep inside me." I moan in pleasure.

I look down and watch as her dick slide in and out of me. I blush darkly as I see my stomach bulge. "Fuck that's so sexy." I moan. I place my hand on it and smile. "I can feel your tip moving in my stomach." I moan.

Y/n smirks, god she felt amazing inside me. I was loving every second of this, I didn't want it to end. I was close to cumming and it's only been 20 minutes.

"Holy shit." I cry out in pleasure. Y/n moans, she makes me look at her. Y/n opens my mouth with her finger, and spits on my face and in my mouth. I moan as she does this, I moan and swallow her spit.

I moan, fucking hell I had a massive spit kink. Her doing that turned me on even more, fuck she's so sexy she's Dom. I scream in pleasure as she begins to pound my pussy fast and hard.

"Fuck! Fuck." I moan loudly in pleasure. I can feel her throbbing inside me, she really needed a release. I reach down and grip her ass as she thrusts into me faster and harder.

I moan loudly in pleasure. "Fuck you're really deep in there babe." I moan as her balls slap against my skin as our moans fill the room. Her on top of me Doming me made me weak and super wet, it was a major turn on.

I moan as my walls clench around her. I smirk as I feel her precum leak inside me letting me know she was close to cumming. "You close baby?" I ask teasing her.

"Mmm I'm close." Y/n moans. 

"Let go baby, bust your seed inside me." I moan, as she kisses and sucks on my neck leaving hickys. I moan as I feel myself getting closer to cumming. "I'm gonna squirt." I moan.

I squirt all over the couch on her abs, dick and on the ground. My legs shake and buckle in pleasure as she continues to pound my pussy. I wrap my arm around her and look her deep into her eyes as she continues to bottom out in my pussy.

I moan and kiss her deeply, we both moan in the kiss. Fuck she has amazing dick game. Y/n moans and thrusts into me even faster and harder. My tits bounce out and down as she continues to fuck me.

Her balls slap against my skin. I feel her dick throbbing inside me she was about to bust her load at any second. I moan as I feel that familiar knot forming in my stomach.

I moan and grip the couch cushion. "Ugh fuck, Y/n baby I'm close." I moan in pleasure.

"Me too baby." Y/n moans. "Need to cum baby?" Y/n asks.

"So fucking bad." I moan as she fucks my brains out. Y/n's breathing gets heavier letting me know that she was close to cumming. "Yes, Yes cum in me." I moan in pleasure.

I smile and moan as I see pleasure on her face. Her face cutely contorts as she is about to bust her load deep inside me.

"Mmm F-Fuck." Y/n cutely moans in pleasure.

I giggle and moan. "Cum baby, cum in my tight slutty pussy." I moan.

*Y/n's pov*

I moan in pleasure as I feel myself getting closer to cumming. My breathing gets heavier meeting her know that I was about to cum. "Mmm f-fuck." I moan in pleasure.

Viv giggles and moans. "Cum baby. Cum in my tight slutty pussy." Viv moans loudly in pleasure.

Creampie #2:

I can't take it anymore, I bust my load deep here pussy. Viv moans and cums all over my dick. We both moan as I boot ropes of thick cum deep inside her painting her walls white.

"Mmm fuck." Viv moans.

I slowly thrust in and out of her slowly pumping her full of cum. I help Viv ride out her high, once we both come down from our highs I slowly pull out of her.

Cum drips down her folds and oozes onto the couch. We both lay there panting and trying to catch our breath.

"Fuck you can really make a girl cum." Viv pants out.

I giggle at her comment and kiss her. "Mm so can you." I say. I smirk and get an idea, I get up from the couch I smile and pick her up. Viv giggles and squeals as I pick her up.

I push the tip of my dick in her and slowly sink her down on my dick. We both moan as she takes my dick deep inside her tight cum filled pussy.

Viv moans, I rest my head against hers and look deep into her eyes. "So wet and tight." I moan. "I'm gonna destroy your tight pussy." I moan.

"Yeah daddy?" Viv moans.

I moan. "Mmm I'm gonna drain your balls in you." I moan and slowly slide her up and down on my dick.

"Mmm I'm your cum slut." Viv moans.

"Mmm you're my cum dumpster." I moan and move her up and down on my dick faster and faster.

"Mmm yes, make me yours." Viv moans in pleasure as I move her up and down on my dick a bit faster and harder than before.

"Mmm so fucking good. I don't think I can last much longer baby. You have amazing grip." I moan in pleasure.

"Mmm yes, give me your load." Viv moans in pleasure.

"Yeah, you're a slut for daddy's dick and cum deep inside your tight pussy?" I ask seductively.

I slide her up and down on my dick faster and faster than before. The only sounds in the room was the tv in the back ground my skin slapping against hers and our moans filling the room.

"Mmm fuck I'm close. Ah I'm squirting, I'm squirting." Viv moans.

I feel her shake and buckle against me as she squirts all over my dick, thighs and all over the ground. "Let go baby, cum for daddy." I say seductively.

*Viv's pov*

Holy fuck this felt amazing. Y/n was balls deep inside me, god I was so close to cumming and it's only been 10 minutes.

"Let go baby, cum for daddy." Y/n says seductively and nips my ear.

Her words made me weak. She's really deep in there, she feels really good deep inside me. I moan in pleasure as my walls clench around her. I moan and throw my head back.

I moan and close my eyes, I can't take it anymore. I let go and cum all over her dick, some of my cum drips down her dick. Me cumming sends Y/n over the edge.

Y/n busts her load deep inside me. I gasp and moan as she fills me up with her cum. "Oh my g-god." I moan as she shoots ropes of thick stick cum deep inside me. I smile and sigh in pleasure as I feel her cum ooze and spurt inside me.

Y/n cutely moans in my ear and nips my ear. Fuck she's still unloading her massive seed deep inside me. "Fuck give me all your cum." I moan and dig my nails in her back as she comes down from her high.

The last of her cum oozing and spurting inside me. I moan. "Mmm use your dick and stuff your cum inside me. No cum better drip out of my pussy." I sexily moan.

*Y/n's pov*

Creampie #3:

I feel cum all over my dick. Her cumming sends me over the edge. I moan and unload my massive load deep inside her pussy. We both moan as I stuff her full with my seed. Viv moans and throws her head back, her eyes roll to the back of her head as I fill her up it's my cum.

"Mmm fuck give me all your cum." Viv moans in pleasure, she digs her nails in my back as I continue to unload my seed inside her. I moan, Viv looks me deep in the eyes.

"Mmm use your dick and stuff your cum inside me. No cum better drip out of my pussy." Viv sexily moans.

I do as she requests, I use my dick as a plug and make sure no cum drips out of her. "Mmm such a good cum slut." I moan.

We both moan as I help her slide her off my dick. I set her down, bob makes. She kisses me deeply and lovingly I kiss back, Viv breaks the kiss and looks at me. "Wanna shower together and go to bed? I'm beat." Viv says.

I smile and nod, we go upstairs we shower together. We lay down in bed, I cuddle with Viv. Viv wanted to sleep naked, wasn't gonna say no to that.

"Viv." I say.

Viv looks at me. I gently stroke her cheek with my thumb. "I'm in love with you. Viv will you be my girlfriend?" I say.

Viv smiles. "Of course, Y/n I'm in love with you too. I would love to be your girlfriend." Viv says.

I smile and kiss her deeply and lovingly. Viv smiles in the kiss and kisses back. Viv breaks the kiss and smiles. "I love you Y/n." She says.

I smile. "I love you too Viv." I say and kiss her head. I hold her close to me cuddling her. Big smiles and falls asleep. I smile, I pull the covers over us and fall asleep not too long after she does.

[rafesfavoritegirl]

where currents collide

chapter 2: escape

𓂃⋆.˚ Viv, John B’s younger sister, just wants to escape the chaos of the pogues for a little while, after John B decided she can't come to a Kook party. After a night of tension and betrayal, she seeks some peace on her own, but it’s never that simple when you’re surrounded by the Pogues. What starts as a quiet moment alone on the beach turns into something unexpected when old wounds and new faces collide.

word count 1.1k

Content Warning: Mild language, emotional conflict, sibling dynamics, mentions of substance use, and tension-filled situations.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of family trauma (loss of a parent), emotional distress, mild substance use (marijuana), and moments of secrecy and betrayal.

As I watched everyone leave the house, I accepted defeat with humility. They were always going to perceive me as a little girl. I was disappointed in Jj most of all. He never used to choose sides. But now, knowing how he really felt, it stung to realize he was just like the rest of them. It all left me mentally and physically drained, pushing me to take a nap and escape for a little while from everything that had happened.

༄ ༄ ༄

I woke up feeling dehydrated, still unsettled by everything that had occurred earlier tonight. In an effort to clear my head, I decided to build a bonfire. I do not often get the house to myself, so I figured it was the perfect chance. Stepping into the yard, I spotted the hammock that Jj, John B, and I had put up when we were kids, still hanging from the tree. I grabbed some extra firewood to revive the ashes from the bonfire a couple nights before and headed back inside for a lighter, my phone, and my headphones.

Once I was back in the yard, I started to light the fire. When the flames finally caught, I settled into the hammock, slipped in my earbuds, and blasted my favorite playlist. The cool breeze brushed against my face, and for a moment, I realized maybe it wasn't so bad to have missed out on the chaos of tonight.

Just as I started to get comfortable in the silence combined with the arguments that happened previously, I did not hear the infamous sound of the half-broken twinkie entering the front yard, muffled by the music still in my ears. Once settled in, they made their way into the backyard, and suddenly, I could not ignore the look on their faces. They sat down, unintentionally crashing my bonfire, their eyes landing on me in my relaxed state.

"See? Told you staying home wouldn't kill you," John B said with a smug grin, clearly pleased with himself.

It only fueled my internal anger, making it burn even deeper. How could they sit there, knowing I was still upset? No apology, just laughing and reminiscing about the greatest night they have ever had, like nothing was wrong. Seeing my best friends ignore my existence, continuing to smile and laugh while I sat there in utter silence.

Hearing them all talk over one another, what caught my attention was Kie's voice: "Dude, when Jj brought the gun! I swear we were gonna get arrested," she said, and the rest of them laughed, agreeing with her.

I pulled off my headphones, cutting in. "Wait, what gun? What happened?" I asked, concern and curiosity creeping into my voice.

Kie dismissed me with a casual wave. "It was nothing," she said, laughing as she spun around, her back turned to me once again.

That was it. I stood up abruptly, my frustration boiling over. "Fuck this," I muttered, walking off without another word.

I headed to my room, shutting the door behind me, and sat down. For a moment, I just stared at the wall, my mind racing, trying to figure out what to do next. It took a moment, the silence giving me too much space to think.

༄ ༄ ༄

The bright white full moon shined through my window, and suddenly, an idea sparked. I needed to get to the beach—just to clear my head. I knew everyone was asleep by now, either in the living room or in John B's room, given the lack of space in our house.

That thought reminded me of how I would get there? The idea hit me out of nowhere, like a sudden rush of clarity. I could just take Jj's weed and the keys to his dirt bike. I needed a way to get out—escape, even if just for a little while—and the bike would get me to the beach in no time. Jj would not even notice, right? It was not like he was gonna miss it tonight, or even notice it was gone. Fixating on the thought, I convinced myself I would be back in time.

I knew where he kept everything—he always kept his stash of marijuana in that jar on the communal nightstand, and the keys to his bike were usually tossed carelessly on the dresser. I could not even explain why I was doing it, but it felt like the only way to get some space.

With that thought in mind, I quietly crept toward his room, my heart racing, but my mind set on the plan. I quietly opened Jj's door and paused for a moment, glancing at him as he slept, admiring how peaceful and cute he looked. A rush of guilt hit me—doing this behind his back felt wrong, but I could not shake what he had done. I knew he would be furious if he found out, but I had to go through with it. I tiptoed over to the drawer, quickly sorting through his mess, finding condoms and loose jewellery, until I found his dirt bike keys, weed and rolling paper. I left the house swiftly, starting up the bike, the engine roaring to life. I glanced back at the worn-down house, checking the window to see if I had woken anyone up. Coast clear. I grabbed the items I needed, then rushed out of his room, with everything at hand, I knew there was no turning back now.

༄ ༄ ༄

The moon reflected off the blue ocean as I parked the bike and made my way down to the beach—the same one the Pogues had visited not too long ago during their rioting. A few kooks were still hanging around, but I paid them no mind. I spread out my blanket and got ready to roll up.

I sat there, the mix of marijuana and saltwater breeze filling the air. For the first time in a while, I felt at peace, the worn-down headphones that I had earlier playing softly as I drifted into a stoned calm.

The kooks from when I had first arrived were packing up. Their infamous jeeps slowly rolled off the beach, and a part of me did not care, but another part felt relieved to be completely alone now—no talking, no people. Just silence.

That was until I saw a tall, shadowy figure making its way toward me. I did not think much of it, assuming they would just pass by. But then, without warning, the figure sat next to me. I was confused—though, in my stoned state, it did not register right away. I glanced to my right and froze. It was none other than Rafe Cameron.

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