#can't say i'm surprised tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tamayokny · 2 years ago

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as of today, all of my former coworkers in the circulation department have either relocated to different branches or resigned 🤭

#mads makes a text post #can't say i'm surprised tbh #i love the staff at that location but admin treats the circ department kinda shitty ngl #like all the other circ clerks at other branches do more than the ones at the main branch (where i previously worked)#also ngl working at the main branch during its renovation kind of sucks #im so glad i got a new position at the location i would float to #it's a longer drive (only 20 minutes) but it's bearable and i like my new position!#also lol since the final clerk resigned they put up a hiring ad #ngl I’m kinda salty about that #because since the renovation started they had a hiring freeze at this location for months #and guess what - a youth services librarian actually retired in early June #if I wanted to I could have applied but they’re not putting it out until like the fall I guess #so I could have stayed at that location (no one wanted me to leave) but!#hiring freeze and ngl I wanted out of my current position #bc again - circ clerks at the main branch are treated kinda shitty and most normal responsibilities are capped #so I wasn’t going to learn or allow to do much which would have hindered future career paths #it’s fine though I like working at my current branch now #it has its ups and downs but the patron culture is so different #plus I no longer have to handle fine money which is super nice #anyway I hope my former coworker gets to do what she wants #(she’s doing further career research for what she really wants to do)#I feel bad for my former supervisors I know they must be freaking out now

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oxymoronicdumbass · 3 months ago

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i will call myself autistic and people will think i'm just using it as a silly, chronically online, tiktok-diagnosed-me term, and then they'll spend a little bit more time with me and they're like oh

#if you know me on a super surface level i can pass as kinda normal #but the more time you spend with me the more obvious it is tbh lmao #like when i say that i am autistic i fully mean it #stimming hyperfixations meltdowns and all #the whole shebang #but it also kinda sucks that the term “autistic” has been kinda watered down so much #people don't really see me being autistic as the same as me being disabled #cause like yeah i'm autistic and i really like my silly little tv shows and spending lots of time on tumblr #but i'm also autistic and need lots of alone time in order to properly interact with other people #i'm autistic and i don't like any form of physical contact no matter how well i know you #i'm autistic and loud sudden noises affect my ability to function #i'm autistic and if i push myself too hard i WILL burnout and that will be unable to perform basic tasks #i'm autistic and eye contact is almost impossible for me #i'm autistic and i will regularly miss social cues and accidentally come across as rude #and it sucks that i'll say i'm autistic and people won't take me seriously #and then they'll act surprised when i an autistic person act autistic #but at the same time i can't lie it is kinda funny when i tell people i'm autistic and they're like #“but you seem normal”#cause oh boy #you have no idea #my posts #ah i love rambling in the tags #autism #actually autistic #autistic things

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momentomori24 · 4 months ago

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I saw a "Yttd hot takes" post yesterday and it actually tickles my brain a bit how the majority of responses are not hot takes at all and mostly boil down to not caring for/hating Midori and saying that he's not deep or interesting at all and very surface level, thinking soushin is "proship" and if you like it you're probably an abuser irl or that you're ""romanticising"" abuse (that word needs to be put on the highest possible shelf btw) if you interpret it as romantic and that the greenblings reveal sucks because somehow it means that Sou and Kanna aren't found family anymore. There's having hot takes and then there's misunderstanding characters/dynamics and spouting the same dangerous bs all fandoms do, and 95% of the responses leaned heavily towards the latter options.

I have opinions on that greenblings take, but those soushin and Midori takes are something else and by that I mean not at all. Like, I'm sorry, but if your "hot take" doesn't oppose the general consensus of the fandom you're in, it's not a hot take. You're serving me white rice with unseasoned chicken and bland curry and I call that false advertising.

#yttd #your turn to die #i'm actually a lot more amused than mad cuz it's comically silly #how do you think “i don't care for this character and its main relationships at all and can't find anything worth analysing or interesting-#-so fans of this character are just reaching cuz there's nothing there tbh" and not connect the dots XD yeah gee golly i wonder why that is #this is just classic yttd twitter being yttd twitter so it's nothing surprising but c'mon at least give me something actually spicy #i want to hear opinions that are not just the same “x character/ship is overrated/mid/underrated” over and over again #give me something that challenges a popular headcanon without bastardising the character to do it #highlight a legit issue in the fandom that barely anyone talks about cuz they all buy into it #i deadass need someone to be like “i actually ship keisara and think it fits the characters and their personalities” or something like that #regardless of if i agree or not i can respect someone saying that with their whole chest in a fandom as puritanical and antiship as yttd's #well the temperature of that take changes depending on where you say it but i'm talking about the western side of the fandom specifically #if your hot take doesn't make people wanna crucify you then what's the point #momento rambles

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linophrynelight · 5 months ago

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ESPRIT DE CORPS [Legendary: Success]

Kim stands outside the back door of Precinct 41, smoking. Jean walks up next to him and lights a cigarette. He takes a deep drag and hesitates for a long, tense moment before opening his mouth.

"We need to talk."

"Yes we do," Kim replies. The lieutenant's words are quick and ready like a loaded pistol. "Your actions earlier were highly unprofessional. I understand that you still don't believe Harry has changed, but you can't speak to him like that in front of the other officers. Give him a chance to prove himself -- or at least, keep your feelings to yourself so the rest of the precinct can."

Jean frowns as the two make eye contact. Kim's voice is calm and professionally cold, but the fire in his eyes betrays him. They're full of anger, defensiveness, overshadowed by a tender protectiveness.

It's a look that's painfully familiar.

Jean maintains eye contact. "How long has Harry been sober this time?"

"Three months. You already know this, he stopped cold turkey the day after he lost his memory."

"I was just wondering if he'd slipped up yet." Jean looks down at his cigarette and ashes it. "Figured if anyone knew, it'd be you. I've known him for almost five years now, and I've lost track of how many times he's tried to go sober. He usually falls off the wagon by now, but the longest he's gone without a drink is six months."

Jean looks up again. "You haven't seen the full cycle yet, you've only seen him on the upswing. The longer he's sober, the harder he'll relapse. He won't realize how much his tolerance has gone down, and he'll be furious at himself, and the world, and at you for trying to help him. Look."

Jean leans over and parts the hair on the side of his head to reveal a scar. It's still pink, hasn't yet faded to silver against his pale skin.

"That last time, he was doing okay until a particularly difficult case. He was placed on leave for a week. I was worried about him -- what he might do without work to keep him busy. I stopped by his apartment to check on him."

Jean hesitates. "He was naked, covered in vomit. Too drunk to talk. Just kept mumbling "fuck you" and "lemme die" as I cleaned him up. After half an hour of trying to get him out of the tub I finally snapped at him, knowing he wouldn't remember anything I said anyway. I think I told him he's an asshole for always making his feelings everyone else's problem. He punched me, and I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the sink."

He takes a deep breath, glaring at nothing on the ground in front of him, then continues. "Of course he didn't remember anything the next day. He said sorry a million times but it was clear he couldn't quite wrap his head around the idea that it had actually happened."

"It was like that every time he went too hard on the drink. He'd scream, make threats, sometimes hurt people. You've heard about the case with the two drunks, right? Then once it's over, the monster who did all those things is just gone. Harry is back, with nothing but tearful apologies and heartfelt promises that he'll never do any of it again."

Jean finally looks up again. Kim's shoulders are still tense but his expression has gone from angry to unreadable. He was ready for a fight, not this.

"I stuck by that asshole's side for years. I told myself that he would get better someday. That those times he saved my life somehow made up for the way he treated me during his benders, and that the apologies really meant something even though I knew he was just going to get drunk and do it again. And every time he would hate himself a little more. And then he'd drown that hatred with even more alcohol."

Jean takes one last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out on his shoe. "The thing with alcoholics is... Once they've given up on themselves, you have no choice. You have to give up on them too. For your own sake. If you try to run their lives for them, to pick up the slack whenever their addiction makes them drop the ball on something, you'll only end up enabling them. I did that for too long. And now you're trying to tell me that after I finally accepted the truth and let go, this is the time he finally got his shit together? I don't believe it."

Kim is silent for a while. He looks down at his cigarette, burnt down to the filter. He stubs it out and tosses it into a nearby trashcan, then he looks up at Jean. "I'm very sorry you had to go through that," he says carefully. The anger in his voice is gone. "It must have been incredibly difficult. I don't blame you for hitting your limit. But... I think this time really is different."

"I hope you're right, but unless-" Jean's voice cracks suddenly, surprising himself. "I can't trust him unless I know he's finally changed."

"Only time will tell," Kim says quietly.

#for a little bonus gutpunch imagine this esprit check happening the moment after Harry relapses #disco elysium #first fic in a solid 10 years!!#jean vicquemare #what? of course I'm not using videogame fanfiction to process any feelings about my alcoholic ex-boyfriend getting diagnosed with cirrhosis #not my fault I can't afford a therapist #idk I've been fiddling with this for days now and I want Kim to have more to say but I think he'd be bad at dealing with Surprise Feelings #politely supportive but mostly just uncomfortable #same tbh

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wignalluvion · 2 months ago

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#like i know i can't expect fics for my fav ship #but not even the others?#like where is everyone??#tbh i get it #cause like the low engagement etc isn't the nicest thing #but again i'm surprised that anyone even read my self-indulgent fics at all #so i kinda expected it going in and all #which isn't to say that i enjoy it #but i'm super happy about every kudo/person who gives it a chance haha #i'm just overall shocked about the lack of fics for such a pretty show #fanart too #wistoria wand and sword #not me posting this while procrastinating finishing the fic i'm working on lmao #wistoria

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rubiesintherough · 18 days ago

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HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE LOVED BY YOU ?

it feels like home

you're the kind of person that makes people feel safe. you probably couldn't be intimidating if you tried, but that doesn't matter. what matters is your kindness and compassion, your innate way of making people feel happy. you're so good at taking care of everybody else, but don't forget to take care of yourself, too! you deserve the same love you give so freely

#(( ooc. ))#info ( mahia )#she got the same was as aedus and can't say i'm surprised... but tbh i think this result fits her a little better #tho she can also be intimidating... it's just few and far between when she has to break out her Mom Energy Healer Voice(tm) to get someone #to hold still and let her patch them up

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jdorian · 1 month ago

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some breakups do have winners and losers and apparently in my case i won and my ex and everyone and everything in his orbit lost. huh go figure

#not surprised tbh #i spent years holding up a front for him and picking up after him like a parent #and now that i'm not doing that his friends had to step into that role #and uhhh it'd suffice to say they do not like it very much #not exactly my problem anymore but i need my babies to get out of there #and then i truly can't gaf anymore #ramblings #newbie stuff

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anthromimicry · 9 months ago

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sorry, halsey — hopeless fountain kingdom.

#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.#it kind of surprises me just how much content there is out there about being afraid of intimacy but then again-#i have heard that that is supposedly one of the most common fears that people have apparently. so yeahhh but of course i do mean emotional-#intimacy here and oh my goshhh. i never realized just how sad parts of this song were until i listened to it again.#'i run away when thing's are good and never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me in ways that no one ever could #i hate to say it BUT that is so misao. she really does feel sooo unlovable sometimes and she has this 'leave them before they leave you'-#mentality that is so saddening to have TBH but i understand why she has it. her childhood kind of left her broken in a way i think-#in ways that can't be easily explained as it was very nuanced and complicated. but GAHHH that doesn't stop me from wanting misao-#to find at least some kind of love from people 😭 like she needs at least one friend or something that she can depend on bc i feel like-#that would really help her and being in a house alone all the time whenever she's not at work can not be good for her psyche.#so petition to get misao a friend or two? JSJSJ nahhh but i am legitimately being serious at this point #she needs someone who'll stick with her through thick and thin and will be understanding of the fact that she's got unresolved trauma so-#that partially causes her to be hyperindependent but i firmly believe that she needs people just as much as anyone else.#maybe more in fact but IDK #and the fact that in this song halsey says that she still knows facts about them even though she hasn't talked to them-#in forever? i'm WEEPING AHHH #that is so like misao as well sadly. she would literally take little notes as to what thing's people like to reference later if she had a-#friend because she 'doesn't want to get it wrong' whenever she gets them a present she says but it's really so that she doesn't forget-#how precious this person is to her and how she wrote down all of their favorite things as a result.

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fragmentedblade · 1 year ago

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It's sort of ironic how fans often link the leaf 🍁 to Dan Heng, considering "Feng" means "maple", but it's also so fitting

#The leaf following Dan Heng on his idle animation like the past identity he can't entirely leave behind because it always catches up to him #How the imagery appears on his splash art and his ultimate because it's irrevocably linked to who he is #even if in his trying to reclaim his right to be himself #The way he catches the leaf‚ looks at it thoughtfully and then lets it go...#I always loved his idle but after finding out the meaning I thought like I was being hit with a club #The fact that apparently according to some magazine he named himself after the 'Dan' engraved on Cloud Piercer is also very juicy #Because he chose himself to be linked to that past he is trying to break free from. It really enhances how the past is not something he is #negating entirely but something he wants to move on from. Likewise we see him try to get responsibility from his past and make things better #while he keeps reminding people he is himself and no one else #I've seen people read under romantic lens the fact that 'Dan' in engraved on the spear and that it marks how it's Dan Fen.g's #tied to the fact that Dan Feng too struggled with that reclamation of the self vs. giving up on himself entirely for a role #And it surprised me tbh. Romantic or platonic I didn't read it under that view at all maybe because I had read like in July #that the High Elders are named using the first character of their past ('Bai'‚ 'Dan'). I don't remember that appearing in canon explicitly #but it's a repeated pattern and back in the early Bail.u/Bai.heng theories it was something very often brought up #So my reading was that Yingxin.g was acting like a Furnace Master there #He had made a spear for the High Elder‚ and that role would transcend Dan Feng as a person and fall onto someone else eventually #As it does in some way onto Dan Heng now‚ to whom the spear responds #Yingxin.g the Furnace Master more than the friend had made a spear for the High Elder‚ and that role would transcend Dan Fen.g #I don't know... I've often read very sweet interpretations of this but the way I saw it I can't help but find it heartbreaking haha #Anyway I'm saying this because read this way his other idle animation‚ the one with the spear‚#also enhances the continuity of his self with Dan Fen.g's not just in personhood but in role #And considering Dan Heng's voiceline about Cloud Piercer is also a choice he makes even if the spear preceded him #So again a choice that is perhaps somewhat conditioned by the preexisting context but a choice he makes nonetheless #Like how he takes responsibility from his past but also decides to move on and reclaims his identity as something separate #Anyway... the Cloud Piercer thing is all theories for now. I don't think we know for sure if the continuity of the same first character #is something established in canon. Maybe it just happened these two times with Dan Heng and Bailu #because of the particularity of their cases #But I think it is coherent and that it would enhance this narrative motif or subject in Dan Hen.g's characterisation and arc #I find that concept of his very intriguing I hope it will be well developed in the future #As of now I find what they've done with it thus far a bit dull most of the time considering the potential it has

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diospirando · 1 year ago

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Reblog/reply with your age, country or whatever you think is relevant and feel comfortable sharing.

Bonus: leave any unusual tips for quitting that worked for you.

#Yes and I'm trying to quit.#I guess.#I don't smoke that much but I'd rather not at all?#I'm also curious about how common cigarettes are in other countries.#There was a post once saying an US american was very surprised with how much people smoked in a european country (can't remember which).#(Might've even been mine tbh.)#I'm 25 and from Portugal.#Lmk if I should add any TWs?#(I'm not sure what's the best way to tag them.)#Data is neat.#tumblr polls #polls #poll

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crescendo-system · 5 months ago

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Ohhhh I just realized.

We had a dream. With Stanford Pines in it.

We had a dream AS Stanford Pines, for a bit.

Welp.

#can't say I'm necessarily entirely surprised but the timing caught me off guard a bit #bc yeah the whole book of bill brought gf back to our mind but it's primarily been a Billfest for us bc of course it has #tbh a lot of our recollection of the series is like. through a glass wall almost #so has this guy just been in our head all this time and we never realized....?#ramblingonandon #dreamstuff.txt #sys.txt #also p sure we had a dream with him in focus. woke up and realized that. went back to sleep #and then had a second briefer dream with him introducing himself to our partner #so ok cool at least everyone's chill with him being here ig??? now that i think of it that probably means he's Established #the system Always flips out when it's a new split unfortunately

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arolesbianism · 8 months ago

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If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.