#he said i took him by surprise
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#as today is valentine's day and i don't like it i did something absolutely terrifying yesterday#i told my friend who i have been crushing on since forever tbh that i like him#and he was shocked (as i expected)#because i'm really scared of losing people around me and especially him i never really showed any signs of the fact that i liked him#not more that a friend would#and he's also having a hard time with studies so i was 100% sure he would say he doesn't like me back#and i even said that i don't expect anything back i just wanted to tell him that because i can't keep this feelings to myself anymore#he didn't say he doesn't like me back#he said i took him by surprise#and that he doesn't have time for anything now not even himself and i can totally respect that#i did ask him to not look at me strangely because of what i said#and again he became his beautiful self and said he would never#it's a miracle i didn't cry honestly#but this whole thing is much more than i could ever ask and i'm just so happy i finally had the courage to tell him#okay enough tags enough ranting#personal
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Quinlan and Aayla are the original Anakin and Ahsoka. Quinlan being Obi-Wan's age, and Aayla being seven years older than Anakin, Quinlan is only NINE years older than her. Legends Wookieepedia says he took her as his padawan when she was 10, which is patently ridiculous. Even if we age her up to a more new-canon-consistent age, that still gives us 23yo Quinlan and his 14yo padawan. Disaster duo. Terrifying gremlin pair.
#I SAID WHAT I SAID#star wars#quinlan#aayla secura#grace for ts#OBI WAN IS STILL A PADAWAN AT THIS POINT#everyone makes constant jokes nonstop but Quinlan is THE greatest master he can possibly be#everyone else is surprised. impressed. who knew quinlan 'I Have Never Been Serious In My Life' vos had this in him?#tholme been knew#he walked straight out of his knighting to go ask Aayla to be his padawan#she crossed her arms unimpressed and said 'well it took you long enough!'#i cant believe he found her and brought her to the temple as a child. i cannot believe that storyline was allowed to exist in star wars#ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#the original 'the team' prototype#you cant tell me all the initiates didnt follow their latest adventures#hoping to one day be That Cool
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Man, what a great character Hoolay is. Proud, extremely so, but not so arrogant that it'd easily be his downfall. Confident, but not to the point where he believes himself irreplaceable - even the opposite, where he sees the way other borisin see him as a great savior as a weakness. And smart. Very smart. It'd have been easy to make him a savage beast going on a mindless rampage, but instead he was extremely cautious and strategic and was playing mind games with both his hostage and pursuers. And all that made the stakes feel that much higher through the story, because the hunt is a lot more dangerous when the prey is always one step away from becoming the predator.
#AND he probably fed the furry side of the fandom for at least ten patches. what can't he do.#honkai star rail spoilers#hsr spoilers#hsr#hoolay my beloved i love it when a villain looks like he's tailor made to be cartoonishly evil and then he isn't#he's literally the big bad wolf but boy could you FEEL why he was both so feared and so respected#he really lived up to what the xianzhou people said about him and it was delightful#of course he was always going to fall but through all of 2.4 and 2.5 even if it was a narrative certainty it didn't feel like one#it took 3 generals together to both outsmart and outmatch him and especially feixiao had to take a MASSIVE risk#thank you mihoyo for a great villain#ray's records#everyone's already talked at length about the other stars of the trailblaze continuance#but to me both hoolay and lingsha were pleasant surprises#i didn't expect them to stand out but i wound up really liking both of them
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"other guys joke that theyre not allowed to bring you around their wives..." "you gotta have to ask ekky about that one thats on him"
WSFL Inside South Florida | 4.11.24 (x)
he was so serious and focused on answering questions and then immediately gets thrown a curveball at the end that is "hey so some are saying...im not saying who... but some not naming any names... HOWEVER that you are so hot possibly sans shirt... you are not allowed near the wags... how do you respond is this true..."
throwing his head back to laugh because he got his bonded dpair's quote thrown back in his face while trying to talk about contract extensions and fishing...
"thats on him" the way he cheekily shrugs a shoulder and flicks his head...man whos well aware who started that rumour and will not stand idly by while revisionists rewrite history NO ONE ELSE HAS SAID SUCH A THING. NO ONE ELSE HAS JOKED ABOUT SUCH A THING. AND IF THEY "HAVE" ITS ONLY BECAUSE OF ONE (1) MAN AND ONE MAN ALONE.
and it was in fact "on him" because that quote comes from a miami herald article about forsy FROM FEBRUARY. A 2 WHOLE MONTHS BEFORE THIS INTERVIEW.
Miami Herald | 2.10.24 (x)
and like all things it always leads back to ekky when it comes to anything forsy-related, the personal menace of the team. and also his bonded soulmate or whatever. may god bless this beautiful little freakish relationship.
#gustav forsling#aaron ekblad#florida panthers#2324#they are so insane about each other it will never not leave me aghast#“other guys joke” NO ONE ELSE JOKES ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING BUT EKKY#love forsy going nono. only ekky says things like this. you have to ask the source this question to get the answer you want.#“it is out of my hands. for thirst explanations you must go to the source of the thirsting in the first place. my d partner.”#the d in d partner stands for- (train drives by)#ahem i of course mean to say d is for destined#destined partners#no one has done more propaganda for how hot forsy is but ekky himself#and by god its working hes got me sold#also “so ive been told” WHO. WHO WENT UP TO THIS INTERVIEWER AND SAID THESE THINGS WHO SABATOGED FORSY FROM THE STATE#considering it looks like filming took place after practise/training at the iceplex i would not be surprised if the boys were aware of it#and ekky just goes hey guys check this out- and just saunters over to make niceties and then drop that on her#like hey you should ask him about...#the lore thickens#im sorry this is all so funny#also can i just say forsy in a backwards cap ZOOWEEMAMA AWOAWOO
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so the winnie the pooh au is going great
#i hate coloring things i hate coloring things GREAH!#a gray and white comic takes me like. an hour.#this? all day.#adventure time#wizard city#blaine#cadebra#larry#hunson abadeer#digital#i dont wanna think about how much convincing it took to get blaine to go to the nightosphere#(it wasnt hard. pep's missing and larry said 'oooo lookat me im going into the nightosphere#if you want me to stay safe you need to follow meeee' and blaine had to follow him)#rabbits delivery of 'have you seen him This MORNIgn' is really good to me.#definitely funnier if we imagine this is happening before hunson has even heard about peppermint starting all over#‘I can’t imagine he’s changed that much’ well you’d be surprised mister abadeer sir!
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Hey do you remember all those videos of Fernando smelling flowers? Haha yeah....
#posting this both while im asleep and after whatever bee event ends up happening#so who knows what will happen! will we get nothing? will we get eye contact? will we possibly get an interaction? its a surprise!!#anyways this is basically me hearing about seb's bee event and he said the drivers will be there#me deep in my vettonso brainrot: OH MY GOD THEY'RE GONNA BE IN THE SAME VICINITY#will be so funny for me if when i wake up i find out fernando didnt even go 😭#but we remain hopeful 🙏#also this is just very funny to me bcs like both seb and fernando have very specifc quirks#and what are two of their specific quirks? seb and his bee thing. fernando and his flower thing from this season#so this fanart is perfect y'know 🥰🥰🥰#also screeching over how this is the first canon au drawing ive ever drawn. ive literally never drawn non-au until now 💀💀💀#okay and now some horrible jokes thay happened during the process of this:#thesis of this drawing: whats Fernando gonna do? Pollinate him? 😏#C. why did you have to make me think of bees that produce sex pollen 😭😭 this is gonna haunt me forever. but also vettonso post-japan fic-#and then also the barry benson thing. im like what do humanized bees look like and then realized 'oh no....oh no.'#fernando to seb at the bee event: 'ya like samurais...?' SORRY 😭#also having to pick the colors from one of my historical au drawings was haunting. just the sheer difference btwn them yknow......#anyways please take my old men yaoi. took a break from historical yaoi to draw this 😭😭😭😭#this is my peak vettonso fanart cannot improve from here. also a fever dream#vettonso#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#*not gonna edit the tags bcs i like the time capsule of it all but like. yeah. we were fed.#*catie from 2 hours prior(atm its 3 am) would be so pleased right now i think
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Tattooing the removed skin to keep is so fucking cool. Holy shit. That's incredible. Would you have to tan that? Would the ink need to go in while fresh and before it's dry? I know taxidermying humans has always been a problem but would doing just a piece of skin have that problem?
#mostly unrelated but it reminds me of a guy i hooked up with once#he was a strict practicing jew but i noticed when he took his shirt off that he had a tattoo#specifically something in hebrew#i was like hey i thought you couldnt have tattoos?#like one tine we had a house party and brought his own pan to cook breakfast with#to make sure he didnt cook with a pan that had ever touched bacon#ive driven him into town during a larp when lunch wasnt kosher lol#so i was very surprised#and he said he actually had a loophole#i dont recall what it was precisely but it was something like#technically it says i cant be buried with tattoos not that i cant have them#so its in my will that upon my death that part of my skin is supposed to be removed#that fucking rules#that always stuck with me as like a powerful expression of personal autonomy
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"I mean, keeping Nexus as a villain sounds interesting but with how villains are usually treated he's probably going to die-"
"We have to kill him." -Solar
"… Aw, damn it."
Anyway, looking at Nexus with big ol' eyes. I hate him (i love his character so much I want to look him under a microscope)
Thougghh some specific lines I do find interesting.
"I realized something. Problems don't need to exist if I get rid of them. If I have nobody to love, I don't need to care when they're gone. So, I ripped out my emotions, stomped on them, and burned them with this new power."
Sounds to me like he was getting exhausted with caring and stressing out about the people he loved so much. If he did love them. I'm assuming he did, despite what Nexus says. (Though it's a cool thought if he actually didn't. Mixing up love with the feelings of needing to protect and care for the people around him because he thought he needed to do that. "Loving" his family because he thought that's what he was supposed to do.)
Maybe when Solar died and he realized how much despair it brought him, he thought how he would survive if his other siblings died. If losing one hurt so bad, what would happen if he lost the others? He wouldn't be able to live with that. So distancing himself and cutting them off entirely fixes that problem. (But he still cares. He's trying to be apathetic but deep down he still cares. Maybe, I don't know his thought process anymore at this point.)
I'm assuming the dark/negative star power is not only killing him, is also accelerating his terrible mental state, sending him down a deeper rabbit hole. It's still him doing all of this villain stuff though so like... shrug.
"I was weak. Now I have something you can never compare to."
Tired of being hurt? Tired of constantly trying to survive life because of the antagonists? Because if he stands at the top, then nobody can cause him any more pain.
"Deep down, I think I always was this."
I want to raise my eyebrow at Nexus but also,,, it is an interesting thought. Simmering hatred(?) of the others and wanting to be stronger (to not get hurt anymore.) that was blinded by loving the others. But I also think he's bullshitting through his teeth. But I actually really like how this is going for Nexus now, honestly. And while I'm still hoping for a redemption arc, as long as he doesn't get killed I don't mind this whole villain thing. The family having to deal with problems caused by someone they once loved? Is a really cool plotline. I feel like this entire post may be extremely obvious, but. I don't know, I'm just putting my thoughts together.
#sun and moon show#tsams nexus#his moon complex is still going at him hard lol#I have no idea where the hell the god complex came from though#“Was she trying to help me or was she trying to grieve that the original version was dead.” WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT.#<- i had to put this here just because of how utterly wrong he is#“I don't like being under somebody else's control.” looking at dark sun real hard right now and squinting#i took like an hour to watch this video and i have no idea how i managed that#i'm aware that one of the VA's said they weren't going to kill nexus off but that was for bringing moon back. not sure if this applies.#they likely won't though. nexus was literally a main character for a year. would be surprised if they killed him after all of that#thatropoenthusiast's rambles#thatropoenthusiast's posts#might delete later
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priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?
constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...
constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"
babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)
anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.
80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.
and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?
hm. i just don't know about all that.
#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD.#( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN.#sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things#and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering#the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things#idk man. i think about this issue all the time#if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc?#it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize#in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate#ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me#i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there#he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with#idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now#bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was#and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse#and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy#scopophobia /#scopophobia#eye contact /#eye contact tw
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Finally done with teen wolf rewatch. Phew
#took me like 3 months#thought I was gonna watch a few eisodes I like because I was feeling nostalgic one evening now I finished the whole thing lol#not the movie tho I don't vibe with it#one of a few things I noticed is that scott smiles fondly at stiles' remarks a lot :')#anyway thinking about how each character change along the way#lydia is like a completely different character from the first seasons#since I'm biased I love the dynamic change with scott and stiles#like they kinda swapped roles a bit but still remain themselves??#scott develops from an awkward teen only caring about living normal life when he has more people to protect and learning to become a leader#he's almost unrecognizable from the first ep too#for stiles. he has character development of course but I think he himself hasn't changed much#even if he said they're not kids running in the woods anymore#he's still the mischievous sarcastic lil guy we know showing up at scott's house. running around looking for trouble & helping people#he always has that dark & anxious side#it's us that know more and more about different sides of him as the story goes on#from the start it's just the two of them against the world. now they're holding hands with their friends facing the world#anyway this show did get a little weird and inconsistent which is not surprising consider how long it went#the scripts also revolve around actor/actress availability also#so many characters with interesting dynamic what wasn't given time to explore#free real estate for us fans
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🤔
#i was walking to get a haircut earlier and i'm pretty sure i saw the guy i went on a date with back in June#i think we made eye contact and he was mouthing something? couldnt tell what or if it was a hi...#i was kinda in my own world with music and being on the phone so since i wasn't expecting to see him it took a min to register lol#walked up the block some thinking 'that was just Taylor right?' then turned around but dont think he did#it was one date but it was a really nice one and i've thought about him here/there#he wanted us to still be friends and i said i'd like that but he hasnt reached out--tho i did see him viewing my IG story recently#wondering if i should message him wondering if it actually was him but hmmm... iunno lol#has been kind of on mind since though#ore no inochi#reminds me i probably should get back to rewatching cardcaptor sakura which he got me doing lol#but for us now living in the same neighborhood for about 6 months i'm surprised we've only now possibly bumped into each other lil#*lol#[...i don't think i ever ate the ben & jerrys ice cream i bought at a bodega with him lol]
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sooo i gave FG his birthday present 😭🫣🥹
#sorry it’s been a minute since the latest update i haven’t really hung out with FG™️ for a looong time bc of exams but fortunately his bday#is the end of april soo i was able to do a lil celebration with him. sooo backtrack in february when he made me a LITERAL WEBSITE#i was thinking of what to get him so i prayed and the Holy Spirit said a playlist with a journal with all these Bible verses connected to th#songs which was fun to make but just took a lot#of work soo i was vvv busy doing that and classes soooo when i finally finished i surprised him outside his work place and then i asked if#he wanted to go anywhere specific to give him his present and he said no soo i suggested this cafe a lil outside our city soo we were#driving for 30 minutes and in my head i was like ok this is the perfect time to hold hands for a reeeeaalllllyy long time so i was just like#‘i want to hold your hand 🫣’ and he just handed his hand over and he was like ‘it’s that simple 😊 and i was holding his hand with both hands#bc i missed him sososo much so we got to the cafe ordered and i gave him his present and he was tearing up covering his mouth it was so swee#i couldn’t and he kept saying ty and this is exactly what he needed and i was like 😭🥹🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰 and he was sooo grateful and when we got in the#car he couldn’t stop looking at me and we held hands the whole time again 🥰😭🫣🫣🫣🫣#and then when he dropped me home we hugged for a reaalllyyyyy long time and he was just saying ty all over he’s such a darling sweetheart 😭🥰#so ya that’s the latest update i’m going to see him later today and hang out with him and another friend 😁🤗 i really want to hold his hand#again 🫣🥰🥺#vk overshares in the tags#friendly giant ™️#FG ™️
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oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (≧▽≦)
AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)
- 🪻
aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]
and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,
she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them
mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic
watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that
most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose
thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"
mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing
his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7
they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#this isn't the first time ritsu has had to kill a zombie btw ^#this is just the first time he's had to kill one since he started seeing zombies in a different light#it was either letting his brother die or killing a zombie. ritsu's upset that he had to make that decision at all#but he's not afraid to say that the decision was incredibly easy to make#it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes#ritsu checked tome over after they took care of mob too. tome's very surprised when he's rly gentle abt it#ritsu's been known to .. lose his head a little in moments of stress#and sometimes he snaps at tome bc of it. he never means to he's just..worked up#but this time he's kinda fretting over her and it opens her eyes a little bit#ritsu has indeed grown to care abt tome a lot. they bicker Most of the time but it's usually not very serious#in all the excitement tome just hadn't rly realized that until now. ritsu is so high-strung that it's hard to get a read on his softer side#but now he's not just directing his softer side to his brother‚ but to tome as well#i have 15 more tags to explain smth i wanna make clear btw let's hope i don't start rambling abt smth else entirely#so i've been using a lot of vocabulary in these au posts that hint toward mob being ''special'' or ''abnormal'' in his behavior#he is not special or abnormal in any way#Every zombie is like that. every zombie has a personality‚ and a gentler demeanor hidden behind that desperate starvation#and remnants of their past selves in there somewhere#mob is simply one of the only zombies that have been taken in and cared for and treated like a sick person rather than a monster#as i've said before most people just.. either run away or shoot them between the eyes when crossing paths with a zombie#they don't give any of them a Chance. mob is a very very lucky zombie.#he is healthier than most other zombies and he is treated far better#and the way ritsu constantly talks to him is actually great for his health ! gets those rusty gears in his head rollin#exercises that brain‚ even if‚ to ritsu‚ he's only responding in odd gibberish#that's only one of the things ritsu gives him that other zombies never receive in their lifetimes#i'd say mob prolly ? has one of the longest ''zombie lifespans''#most zombies either die of starvation‚ dehydration‚ or sleep deprivation within a few weeks#he's lived a long zombie life !
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pippin took is the character of all time. he’s stupid. he’s incredibly brave. he cares so deeply for the people he loves. he’s 18 years old. i love him so much.
#not surprising considering my old url but still it had to be said#watching the movies thinking of him as being that young (even though billy boyd obviously looks much older)#is so much more devastating#like.. GOD. he makes me sad. i care him.#lord of the rings#lotr#pippin took#eli.posts
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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JUST BECAME A DILUC HAVER??????? BEST DAY OF MY LIFE FR
#literally. was on vc with myri. got a couple standard wishes from the hydro sigil thing#right before i pulled i said 'im at 60-ish pity imagine if i got diluc right now'#and then five star lights. he fucking came home.#when i tell you i SCREAMED#i literally mean i screamed. id be surprised if i didnt wake my parents up 😭😭#i have been waiting for this mf to come home since i started playing back in february#and then of course i immediately took him out at level 33 and he died sorry king 💔#genshin#genshin impact#diluc#seri speaks#dilucposting#gacha pulls posting
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