#sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

[twinkleallnight]

A Twisted Tale

Chapter 4

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Word count: 2422

Characters: Liam, Drake, Riley, Olivia.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

Warning: None

A/N: We are participating in @wackydrabbles prompt 86: “Have you lost your mind” that appears in bold.

Catch up here

An AU of The Royal Romance paving it's way through mixed emotions of wants, needs and desires, of revenge and regrets, of trust, faith and hope.

A joint venture brought to you with love by @twinkleallnight and @annekebbphotography

Olivia's PoV

Aunt Lucretia stands beside me, looking up at me proudly. She has helped me in preparing for my dinner date with Liam.

"You sure don't want to stay back until I return? You may be interested in all the things that happened around?"

She gives me a loving smile, "You have a nice time, my dear. I somehow can't tolerate the Rhys blood in my vicinity."

"Now you are overreacting aunty."

"I am not." She snarled. "The Rhys dynasty has always been unfair to the Nevrakis clan. From times unknown, they have exploited the strength and valour of our people to rule their land."

"Do you think Liam is any different? They say he is compassionate to his people unlike his father."

"Have you lost your mind? They are all the same. Try taking away the throne from him and he will show his true colours." She fumes in anger but the next moment she speaks to me in a composed tone. "Remember Olivia, what they did to my sister and your mother. They reduced our family line to the extent that we are the only two left to bear the name. Don't let your aim be deterred by this boy's few sugar coated words."

"I will not forget what you have taught me aunt." I reassure her.

"Now I need to leave before your party comes."

It is late in the evening as I stand on the terrace of my Chateau looking at the golden Sun hanging on the horizons. The sequins on my dress shimmer delicately in its fading light. I am ready, waiting for Liam when unknowingly, I leave a cold sigh. The loneliness creeps over at such times and nibbles over my train of thoughts. It brings back the painful memories of the time when I was left alone after my parents assassination.

Aunt Lucretia has already left. I ponder the way she behaved today. It's difficult to understand her sometimes. She visits me often, she is there for me, she tells me stories about my parents. But she never stays around.

The sound of footsteps behind me bring me back to the present. Fiona, my chambermaid comes to inform me of the arrival of the king. I pat my hand on the parapet, as if telling the bricked wall to keep my secrets safe until I return. A quick check in the mirror and then I sway down to the great hall to meet Liam.

I see him staring at the portrait of my forefather, Diavolos Nevrakis in the hall.

"Are you asking some dating tips from Diavolos?"

He turns and smirks at me. "Nope... I don't need it. I have Leo remember."

"They are poles apart. Just to brush up your memory, Diavolos' extraordinary courage swept away your great grandma Kenna's heart. He was loyal, Leo cannot stay with one woman for more than a week. I really doubt what you are going to be if you consider Leo as your teacher.

He chuckles as he turns to look at me completely. "If I remember correctly, Kenna ended up with my great grandpa Dom. But anyway, Leo is not that bad. He has a way with ladies. He might surprise you."

"That's the point. Nevrakis never got a chance to be with Rhys even after all the love, care and loyalty they showed."

I waddle my finger between both of us. "What chances do we have Liam?"

He walks closer to me. "Right now? None!" He looks at me with a stern look on his face. Was he hurt or angry? I have never seen Liam like this. "You have to let me in... Stop pushing me away and I will give you all of me. Only then do we have a chance."

"And it starts with dinner today?"

"Olivia, this is your only chance. I am serious. I care about you, but I need to move on if this isn't what you want." His voice is laced with hurt. "And don't lie to me....." He pauses as if he is trying to find a way to say 'I will always find out the truth.'

I smile and advance to him, holding his arm into my hands. " What has gotten into you Liam. You never were so harsh."

I need to keep this under control. I cannot let him go astray with the new blue eyed beauty he has found.

Liam pours out his feelings. "I just feel like my heart is out there and you don't feel the same. I have to protect myself."

"From me? I say wide eyed.

"From heartbreak. I will be honest. I feel attracted to Riley. I want to see where things can go. I will not lead either of you on, but you need to know that I won't take your hot and cold anymore."

My blood boils at the name of the American brunette but I keep my emotions under control.

Instead I show him that I am hurt, I know the way to soften his heart. I look at him with sad, glossy eyes. "Liam, so much for our years of bonding? You know her since what? Five days? And we have known each other since I was five years old."

I know he will take a U- turn with this

He cannot see me hurt like that.

He reaches out and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "Liv, we have been friends for years and never did you show me any sign that you wanted more than friends. Not until I showed up with Riley....." He moves his hand away and I somehow already miss his touch. "There is something about her that has me captivated and I want to get to know her. Maybe just as friends."

"I understand Li." I use his short name for the first time in years. Now I need to have some excuse. My mind is running out of ideas fast. I just blurt out. "I had my reasons to keep you away Li." I try to develop some intimacy by placing my palm softly over his broad chest. "Let's give this a chance. Seriously this time."

"We can see how it goes." Something in his eyes tells me he is hesitant. What has happened since we got here? I keep my fears aside and curl my hand around his elbow and bean at him. "Take me for our date."

"It would be my pleasure." He gives a meek smile and I feel my heart sinking. Have I already lost this battle? I respond with a brighter smile and we walk out into the cold evening.

He helps me into one of the SUVs, and then instructs the driver. "Let's go have dinner." He is not the same Liam as he always is. I feel like he is distant. I have to fix this or my plan won't work.

At the restaurant, getting out, he walks over to help me out of the car.

I look at the signboard of the restaurant and then I smile at him. "You remembered?"

I feel a knot inside. He remembers my favourite eating place.

"I did." He shrugs. "I remember everything about you." He takes my hand and leads me into the restaurant.

I feel the knot tighten with those words. 'Focus Olivia. Don't fall for the sugar coated words' aunt Lucretia's warning resonates in my mind.

We sit at the table and Liam gives me a sweet smile, but there is something on his mind.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just admiring the beautiful view."

I turn around to check the view behind me. There is just a wall.. I look back at him puzzled.

He chuckles and raises his brow at me. "What are you looking at? You are my beautiful view..."

I feel the heat rising up my cheeks.

'This is not how it was supposed to be'. "How many times have you used those lines?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. Just take the compliment."

"I am not used to such compliments Liam. Unlike you I have not had a chance to date. My life is like an open book in front of you." I laugh inside at the contrast in the last comment I made. Still to keep up the game I nod politely. "Thank you anyways."

He stares at me silently and I have no idea what to think. It's as if he is looking right through me. "Liv, you need to accept and love yourself then you will see that other people care and love you." He reaches his hand out and cups my cheek. "You don't even realize how beautiful you are." He runs his thumb along my cheek.

I shiver at his touch. I curl my fingers around his hand and gently pull it away from my cheek. I need to breathe. I need to remember why I am here. I cover his hand with both my hands, I cannot let him go. The way he is treating me is cluttering my mind with so many questions. Oh Lord! Help me! I clear my throat and try to stay in the moment. " I will try. From now. " I barely complete a sentence.

This is not going to be easy I realise. I need to speak to keep up the conversation.

"Why me?" I blurt out.

"Why not...." He pulls his hand back and takes a sip of his drink. "I.... I Can't....." the waiter shows up and Liam stops talking giving him his order.

I keep staring at him. Is he really the son of Constantine? How can he be so loving when his father was so cruel? It's like a tug of war playing between my heart and my mind.

'The Rhys blood is all the same' aunt Lucretia's voice echoes again in my mind. I straighten up to be in my character.

He says something and I realise I have been staring at him all this time and missed out on his talk.

"Huh?"

"What would you like to eat." He raises his brow.

"Why? You don't remember what I like to eat?" I tease him and that brings in a sense of satisfaction.

'Okay Olivia try to keep it platonic and you may be able to sail through this successfully.' I make a fresh resolution.

"I was just checking. You seem too far away for a moment." He gives my order to the waiter.

We keep having small casual talk as the food is served. I keep picking myself from falling for his charm all the time.

As we finish our desserts I try to continue normal chit chat. "How are things at work? Now that you have a new…'assistant'." I air quote.

"We haven't started yet. She will only start on Monday. But from what I have heard and seen, she will make my life a lot easier." He smiles as he looks out the window.

I feel a sting of jealousy even if I brought her up in our talks. "Easier? You mean we will be able to spend more time together?"

"I will have a lot of free time on my hand." He doesn't give me a direct answer.

"Hmm. I would like to see what you plan to do with that time."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You will see soon enough."

"Liam, you do understand that if we are trying to be together, there should not be any hidden plans in between."

I am hiding my true motives and asking him to have a transparent relation. How ironic!

"I am not hiding anything. You will see what I spend my time on. That is me being honest."

"I like where this is going." I give him a sly smile and he grins back at me.

"I knew you would." He gets up holding his hand out to me.

I slip my hand into his as he clasps his other hand over it and pulls me into him. "Care to go on a long drive?"

His calm ocean blue eyes boring into me, I manage to give a slight nod.

He tucks my hand into the crook of his elbow and we walk out to his SUV.

The driver stands there but Liam signals him aside and himself opens the door for me. He then instructs the driver and rounds up to settle down beside me. The SUV wheels through the dark roads of Lythikos.

I feel the touch of Liam's fingers on my hand. I look down at my hand that is now covered with his and then I look up at him. He smiles at me and I reciprocate. As he feels encouraged with my welcoming smile, he entwined his fingers in mine. He makes small circles moving up my arm, causing the tingling on my skin.

"Where are we headed to?" I ask to distract him.

"The palace? I thought we could spend some more time together." I know he is still not convinced and I have to make him believe.

"Sure, why not."

We spend the next hour in each other's company, Liam murmuring sweet nothings and I, accepting his advances.

****************

Liam's POV

We are finally back at the palace. The time I spent with Olivia was very eye opening, she’s still guarded, but for right now I need to figure out what it is I am actually feeling. It has always just been Olivia and then this blue eyed brunette came crashing into my life and now my feelings are all over the place.

I left Olivia at her room even though she wanted me to stay. I just couldn’t. What the hell is wrong with me? I have always wanted Olivia and now I have my chance, but something is just telling me that why did it take me to bring another girl around for Olivia to finally open up to me. Why didn’t she open up to me all those times that I have made my intentions pretty clear.

I fall down on my bed as I stare at the ceiling, every time I close my eyes I see Olivia’s green eyes staring back at me and as I move closer the most dazzling blue eyes replace Olivia's and I can’t help being pulled into her even more.

I shoot up from the bed grabbing a shirt. “I need to talk to Riley. I need to know if it’s just me feeling this way.”

*************

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[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Oh NO!

There’s a MEETING on the fifth! HECK.

As soon as I got the message saying “May 5th”, I was like “huh, that sounds familiar, why”. And then I looked in my calendar. And saw the blank square. And stared at it.....

And then I realized THAT’S WHEN APOKOLIPS WAR COMES OUT.

HHHFFFFFF

Highest priority for me about seeing it is seeing is AS SOON as possible so I don’t get ANYTHING else spoiled! I don’t even want to see a single gif before I see the movie for myself! I’m really genuinely excited about how Constantine and Raven are going to be in this whole situation, and how the HELL they’re going to get out of it with their two strongest on the meta and mystical side nerfed so hard!

So, I’m starting my new job on Monday. Which means I’ll have worked on Tuesday, May 5th. And I was planning to get home, get food, and get watching...

And then I was thinking, okay. The meeting doesn’t start until 8pm. Maybe I can do what I did with the SU finale, where I watched until IMMEDIATELY before the meeting began, spent two minutes putting on my business jacket+foundation, used the bathroom, and slid right onto Zoom. Then did all my Post-Viewing Celebration and Liveblog Posting and fan-content consumption after the meeting. until like 3am, as is my custom.

So, maybe I could get home, watch the movie Immediately, and go right to the meeting after?

But here’s the thing. The bus ride home is an hour long. (It’s not even from transfers or anything, it just takes an hour for the bus to make a fifteen-minute drive down the street.) My work schedule is until 5:30pm. With current events, the buses are on a reduced schedule, so the first bus home doesn’t leave until 5:50... Best case scenario, I don’t get home until 6:50. 

Amazon won’t tell me HOW LONG the movie’s RUNTIME IS.

But by the time the meeting is over, after the training and everything, it’ll be like 11. Sometimes it goes until midnight. And I’m not gonna want to start watching a movie that’s going to utterly FUCK me up emotionally at midnight. Especially not when I’ll have work in the morning.......

...Mmmmmmaybe... I could dip into the post-emergency-fund-savings stimulus check leftovers, and take a Lyft home? That’s a fifteen minute drive, I could be home by 6. I have bags of popcorn in my room, I could just grab a carrot and some hummus for dinner and get right to watching when I get home, and theoretically watch the movie by 7:45, though that would depend entirely on its runtime, how often I pause to take notes on commentary, and how the internet connection is.... nyyyygggghhhhh, for a full-length movie, that’s super risky, though. And even if I do get through the movie by 7:55, if the meeting miraculously only goes until 10:30, I’ll still have to get up for work in the morning and won’t be able to spent HOURS seeking fan content... Heck.

I’d hate to watch the movie and not have time to Process it before I have to go to bed-- I won’t be able to sleep after an emotional high without Processing it. And I really don’t want to be a zombie the next day, if I stay up late consuming fancontent... (Besides, sleep deprivation is really bad for your immune system. And I’m going to be on public transportation with gloves and no access to masks.)

So I guess, while I could theoretically watch the movie, I’m also going to need time to RECOVER from the movie. And that’s going to be a multi-hour process..... so as much as it pains me to realize, I’m going to have to avoid Tumblr on Tuesday (in order to avoid spoilers because people don’t tag reliably in this fandom-- plus there are so many different ways people phrase that movie’s tags).... and so, I just have to resign myself to wait until Wednesday evening to watch.

Damn it.

But really, that’s only one more day. And I’ve been agonizing over this movie since like February fricking 25th. Another singular day won’t kill me....

I’ll probably hop on Tuesday to make a brief LOA announcement, writing it from my blog’s page instead of the dash so there is Zero Risk of being spoiled, and just... Try Really Hard to get through the day without going on Tumblr. That’ll be interesting, but I can take a walk, browse new music, search for my muses’ music tastes. Generally just fill in the time before the movie.

And then let the entirety of my Wednesday evening be completely dedicated to JLD:AW!

I think that’s the better choice, anyways, because for a whole movie with Such a cast and So Many Things promised to happen, there’s probably going to be a lot to comment on.

i gotta know what the FUCK raven and damian are talking about in the freaking med room though! I gotta! I GOTTA. knowing them it’s going to be murderously vulnerable and force me to Feel Things. I’m definitely gonna need time for my damirae heart to heal over when I finally know what they’re talking about. And if, you know, Something Shippy happens. Because I was a hard sell on that ship, but once I fell for them, I completely PLUNGED.

So anyways, waiting ‘til Wednesday, final verdict.

My new Countdown Date for JLD: Apokolips War is Wednesday, May 6th.