#also p sure we had a dream with him in focus. woke up and realized that. went back to sleep

[crescendo-system]

Ohhhh I just realized.

We had a dream. With Stanford Pines in it.

We had a dream AS Stanford Pines, for a bit.

Welp.

[spenciegoob]

Cracked Mirror

A/N: hi, I continued to see a bunch of “season 2 Spencer would be so scared of season 12 Spencer, so I decided why not write them meeting? let’s do it, baby super angsty :P it took everything in me to not tag ‘how it should’ve gone’ but basically this is ‘how it should've gone.’

Summary: Spencer Reid? Meet a very much older Spencer Reid.

Pairing: Season 15 Spencer & Season 2 Spencer

Category: Angst

Content Warnings: no ship, mentions of drug addiction, drug abuse, Tobias Hankel, Maeve, mentions of Jeid

Masterlist

Word Count: 2.4K

_____

Spencer 15:

The smell was always the first thing I noticed when I woke up from a restless sleep. It meant I was alive, that the terrors that danced across my eyelids like a ballad of the doomed were not real. I never believed in the Higher Power, but if there was an Evil Spirit, it possessed my mind the second my guard fluctuated.

The smell, however, the one made up of stiff air that paralyzed you and blood you weren’t sure was yours, that smell meant I got to live another day.

It also meant I could still die.

But now I woke up in a startle because I wasn’t supposed to be here. I escaped this place before, I made it out. Did my only indicator of life just turn into my own personal Hell? Was I finally gone, seconds ago hoping for rest only to come to the conclusion that I would never get the chance?

I was back in a gray jumpsuit, and what scared me the most was how quickly I got up to make my bed.

“Reid, you have a visitor.”

Spencer 2:

They say every person in their career has a moment that changes the way they view their job forever, and I would’ve liked to continue to believe I had mine already, when I put away the first unsub that didn’t deserve the life they were unfortunately gifted to live out. I know I couldn’t sleep much after.

But now that I hurry past empty cells and recreation rooms on my way to a stone box with a killer, I changed my mind.

This was my moment.

I had to keep up with Hotch, and I wish it was because I was scared of getting lost, but it wasn't. If I lose Hotch, I’m afraid I’ll lose my life.

We just had to reach the interrogation room, and we’ll be fine. We just have to talk to... to who?

Who are we here to see? Why am I here?

“Hotch.” The older man stopped his fast pace to turn to me exasperated. I would have that expression too if someone stopped me in a place like this, but here I am, feet stuck to ground like a fear-inducing glue because I can’t remember why I’m here.

“What’s wrong, Reid?”

“Why am I here?” Hotch didn’t get angry, or confused at my question. Instead, Hotch’s face turned into something that was a prized rarity at other times, but right now, it ran my blood cold.

He nodded at me, his face visibly relaxing with understanding, and kindness spreading from his eyes into mine.

“You have someone here you need to see.”

And then he just continued the path we were on until we reached a metal door with a window not large enough to see who was waiting for me on the other side. I didn’t get too close, giving myself a 5 foot head start in case I needed to run, but Hotch would never put me in a position like that, right?

He would never use me as a pawn in a game of life or death.

“Whenever you’re ready.” By the time all the questions flooded through my head like a tsunami that made it to the tip of my tongue, Hotch was gone. 

The invisible magnetic field between myself and the door was a force backed up by science. I felt the way it tugged me forward, like negative and positive electrons charming me with the song of the buzzer unlocking it.

When I was ready, he said. Would I ever be ready for the feeling that washed over me? I felt the weight of the world rest on my shoulders, stuck in an ocean made entirely of resin, slowly hardening around me to keep me trapped.

But I still grasped the cool metal doorknob, and I wish I took a deep breath before entering. It was the wrong call on my part, because I walked in and all the oxygen left my lungs in a flash.

The air in the room felt different. It hung with the purpose of imprisoning those who dare breathe it into their lungs. Enchantment and intoxication were meant to hold beauty and grace, leading the charmed to a fulfillment in life worth living.

But the eyes of Medusa were in the room with me, and I was stupid enough to turn to stone.

“Who are you?” How could I ask that? I knew the answer by looking into his eyes. I say his, because they weren’t mine. Sure, they had the same hazel color, and the same round, boyish shape, but they looked so dull. Sadness, the kind that moves mountains and starts wars, was buried deep in the beholder, casting a shadow over his soul. 

I didn’t stare for very long. I couldn’t.

“You know who I am.” His voice was worse. “I know why I’m here. Sit down.”

“I- I just... Absolutely not! This is- this, I- I can’t. I have to get out of here.” Insanity! It had to be. I was staring at a person I didn’t know, yet knew every little detail about, and I couldn’t breathe.

“Sit down before you panic.” There was no point in lying and saying I was fine, he knew it would be a lie. We weren’t just profilers.

So I sat, taking my time to round the table and pull the chair farther back to establish a far enough distance between us. He did the same. Of course he did.

“Answer my question,” I whispered, looking down at the place where the leg of the table met the top.

“There are far better questions to ask me.” He was right, there were more pressing matters at hand, but how do you ask someone what landed them in a jumpsuit when you were terrified of the answer?

“Did- is time travel a thing?” The second the question left my mouth, I realized how absurd it was, but so was staring into the cracked funhouse mirror I was currently stuck in front of.

“Come on, we don’t have much time, and that’s what you want to ask me? Dig deeper.” Is this how Morgan feels when I’m always right?

How could I dig deeper when it all went so far that the only thing consuming my soul was a bottomless black hole? The memories flashing from projectors all around me as I sank further until eventually my oxygen ran out. Going deeper meant letting the weight of my heart push against my chest like a rock thrown into the depths of the ocean, but I suppose he would follow me.

“What happened?” I looked up to see him take a deep breath, leaning back in the chair with careful contemplation. There was something more though, something that lingered the second we met eyes.

Jealousy. There was nothing of myself to be jealous about, however.

“We made too many mistakes.” We. Only one of us was in the jumpsuit. There had to be some way to avoid that, right?

“God, this is insane!” I promptly shouted, standing up frantically. “You’re the prisoner here, not me, okay? I didn’t do anything. You did. How am I even here? What is happening, I don’t understand.” At the end of my yelling, I was so far out of breath that I had to lean against the wall. “What is this?”

“Tobias Hankel.” No no no, it can’t be. Am I dead?

“Sit down.” I listened immediately this time, too exasperated to care about being cautious about it.

“You’re with him right now, and from what I can tell, you’re probably in a drug-induced dream.” My head shot up at the mention of Tobias’s coping mechanism for myself. “When you wake up, I don’t expect you to hold onto hope, but for that quick second you let go, don’t feel guilty about it. It will eat you alive if you do.”

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe, but I’m right, and you need to listen to everything I’m telling you.” I was never one to make demands like this.

“And if I do? Will it stop me from becoming you?”

“No, probably not.” Before I had the chance to get angry again, I watched the way his eyes started to glisten with tears. I watched him crack a little bit more, adding to the already gaping slashes across his heart. How many more until he breaks?

“Leave them in his pocket,” he continued after taking a grounding deep breath. “You don’t need it.”

“What are you talking about?” Secretly, I knew what he was meant, because after this nightmare ended I would be back in a far worse one silently begging to return to this interrogation room. 

There were so many thoughts running through my head that it was hard to focus on just one. Plus, I wasn’t really getting any context here.

“I don’t think I can give you many details. I don’t even know if we’ll remember this, or how I got here, but we don’t have much time. There are so many things you need to know.”

“I know practically everything.”

“No you don’t, kid. You know nothing.” He suddenly stood up, walking over to the wall on our left, leaning a hand against it and hanging his head. “When you feel like something is wrong with him, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell Hotch, request time off, do whatever you have to do. Just, go visit him.”

“Who?”

“You’ll know.” There was so much guilt in his voice that I felt it in my chest. It was like a hole was drilled into me, leaving my heart exposed to vultures who wouldn’t hesitate to rip pieces from me.

“What about my mom? Do I... you know?”

“No, you don’t, but promise me something.” He turned to look at me again, hazel meeting hazel. “On days that she’s lucid, tell her everything. Tell her what you ate for breakfast, and that one time Morgan fell trying to kick a door open. Tell her about the dark parts, about how much you love her. Tell her everything.”

“Oh God is she-”

“No. I don’t think I should be telling you that, but no. Don’t think like that.” As if remembering something, he rushed back over to sit down, pulling his chair in and leaning over the table. “Stop running every negative outcome of every situation in your head. Be careful, but don’t be so careful it becomes reckless. That’s how people get hurt, including you.”

“Is that what happened to you? Is that how you ended up here?”

“No. I’m innocent, always was. I ended up in here because I let myself get blinded by a fantasy I had no business dreaming about. There’s going to be times for you to have dreams bigger than yourself, but the second they start to become nightmares, you have to pull yourself back. Don’t get trapped, kid.”

“You know, Morgan calls me ‘kid’. I don’t really know if I like it or not.”

“You’ll come to love it, but with Morgan, don’t push him away. He’s one of the only few people in this world that won’t scrutinize or judge you, and you need to be honest with him.”

“Why?” After asking, I immediately regretted it, because his answer was the one I’ve been dreading the most.

“Because things are going to hurt you, and it’s okay to ask for help every once in a while.”

“What things? Tell me,” I begged, rushing my words and internally cringing at how desperate I sound, but I needed to know. I needed to know the truth.

“When you fall in love, tell her.” He casted his eyes downward, staring at his hands rough and calloused from the years, kind of like Hotch.

“Is it... is it JJ?”

“No,” he let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head softly. “You’ll learn one day the difference between being in love with someone, and just simply loving them.”

I couldn’t help the disappointment spread through me for a second, but I quickly gained my composure when I remembered I’m sitting across a profiler.

“This is too much.” My brain was starting to hurt.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” A question crossed my mind causing my hands to stop their fidgeting for just a moment, but as quickly as it came, it was gone and my hands resumed. He caught it though. Of course he did.

“What was that thought?”

“My d-” I cleared my throat before continuing. “William. Did he ever...?” I let the words fade out, hoping that he would understand where I was going. He did. Of course he did.

“No.” He took a deep breath, eyebrows furrowing and jaw clenching tightly. “He didn’t.”

“Oh.” While I was disappointed, he looked angry. As sick and twisted as it was, I wish I was more like him. Even with the despairing look in his eyes that came with agonizing memories, he was the man everyone expected me to be. 

He looked at me as if he also wished the roles were reversed. Of course he did.

The edges of the room slowly started to get fuzzy, my vision blurring for a second. “You’re waking up.”

“Can- can I ask you something?” Even though I was terrified of the answer.

“Of course.”

“When did it all go wrong?” He let out a long sigh before running his hands down his face.

“I can’t tell you the exact moment, because even I’m not sure. I can tell you that even when it doesn’t feel like it, you’re alive. You survived, and on some days that’s all that’s going to matter.”

“Do you smell that?” Please say yes, because the smell of burning fish hearts and livers was burning my nostrils and clouding my head.

“Wake up, Spencer. It’s okay.”

“Wait!”

Spencer 15:

My eyes shot open only to be met with blinding lights that seared my pupils. The beeping coming from the machine next to me was the second thing I noticed, and the third was a very alarmed Penelope.

“What happened?” My voice was raspy, and my throat burned intensely.

“You don’t remember? Spencer, you collapsed.”

“Oh.” I couldn’t think of what else to say. Logically, I knew I probably sustained a head injury from the explosion, but when I tried to think beyond that, my brain got fuzzy.

“Are you okay? You know, besides the whole passing out thing?”

“Y-yeah, I just.” I stopped talking. Just what? Penelope hummed curiously for me to continue, but I couldn’t.

“I think I got a second chance.” No matter how vague it was, how little she knew of what that truly meant, Penelope beamed with joy at my answer, and I smiled right back.

“I’ll go get the doctor.” And when she left, I stared up at the ceiling, hoping that the scared kid I used to be took my advice.

____

Join a taglist here Tell me your thoughts on this fic here Have a request? Send it in here

Taglist: @the-girl-who-writes-fanfiction​ @haylaansmi​ @masumiyetimziyanoldu​ @cielo1984​ @rexorangecouny​ @username2002​ @calm-and-doctor​ @pieceofried​ @mermaidshmari​ @missyoumaybank​ @everythingbutnormal​ @seasonfivereid​ @no-honey-no​ @muffin-cup​

[blackcherrykiss]

BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.7)

[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4] [CH.5] [CH.6] previous chapters

[CH.8.] next chapter (unavailable, check back or follow for updates!)

You fell into a distrustful panic that night now that knew the screams of the woods were also where Jungwon and his friends lived. You weren't sure if you should be scared for those group of boys or be scared of them. You'd be lying to yourself if you tried to believe it was only a coincidence the boys had a place in the forest of violent cries.

You questioned your sanity, were they murderers? Was that their dirty secret?

Your conclusions were endlessly dark, repeating themselves countlessly. You had never wanted to sleep away your thoughts more than ever. Eventually, you got exhausted from your thoughts. It was mentally draining to try and tear apart the possibilities of the situation, you didn't have enough evidence to be so sure. You lay in a cold sweat as you drifted off into a deep but horrible sleep.

You dreamt in full awareness. The boys with blood spilling down their hands and onto their swan white clothes. A red mess everywhere on the cream walls of an orphanage that overflowed with rays of a full moon. Although you were scared of what you were witnessing, you could not wake up even if your life depended on it. It seemed as if the dream had sped up your sleep as you woke in what felt like a few seconds. Calmly, you awoke in the misty autumn morning in a crushed up pile of blankets. You sit up to peel your wispy curtains away from the window to get a good look at the dark forest that steamed with a muddy blue fog. All of the memories of Jungwon yelling at you for just being near the woods flooded your brain as you stared. This time you were determined to search deep into that forest and get to the bottom of its mysteries as it called out to you.

"Y/N I think you're going to be late for your first class." Nana knocked before bursting into your room in full uniform, not a wrinkle on her shirt.

"Y-you're already ready? What time is it?!" You glanced back and forth between your pyjamas and uniform that draped over a random stool as you were too lazy to fold nicely the night before.

"We didn't want to wake you... So we went ahead thinking you'd come down eventually." She yanked you out of bed, gripping your forearms tightly before backing out the door, "Don't be late! We promised we'd keep out of detention this year!"

Within a blink of an eye, you slip into your uniform, slinking your arms through the holes of your blouse and adjusting your legs to be cover by your ashy plaid skirt. With your bag and binder in hand, you sprinted across your campus to the gymnasium where you found yourself arriving, everyone already in the proper athletic attire.

"You're late."  Your health teacher grit her teeth in visible disappointment. Your teacher knew how unlike you it was to be late as your classmate's eyes followed your every movement.

"P-pardon me." You clawed your fingers through your bedhead, speeding to the change room, nervous she'd assign you detention.

You let out the deep breath you were holding in as you got into the empty locker room, frustrated at yourself for waking up so late. You can't help but feel upset that you let your thoughts get the best of you and ruin your perfect attendance. Truly you were ashamed but began to see no point in continuing to rush the pace at which your day was running.

The locker room door opens and you see Kyungeun peep herself inside, "Y/N? You alright?"

You pull your boxy shirt flat down, zipping and tying every spot on your tracksuit jacket, "Yeah, sorry rough morning..."

"No worries, I just said that I had to go to the bathroom but I really just wanted to check on you." She had a motherly sound to her voice which comforted your bad start to the day. Perhaps she was in a good enough mood for you to ask her briefly about her relationship with Sunghoon.

"Kyungeun, I think I need to just clear the air... I saw you with Sunghoon in the library." You tilted your head in regret as to whether or not you were starting off the conversation in the right direction.

"Y-you saw us???" Her face drained to an unrealistic hue, "Lord... Sunghoon will kill me if he finds out you know."

"Stop! What do you mean? He'll kill you? Is it because I know that you two are dating?"

"NO! Nevermind then!" She cut you off right after the question mark in your voice. She looked rather relieved at your response which could only mean their relationship was much different than you had presumed. "I just can't tell you about our relationship I'm s-sorry it's between just us two."

"So then it's okay for him to flirt with my roommate?"

"No? Are you serious right now ?!" Kyungeun panicked.

"So you are dating?" You gave a smug smile.

"It's not that..." She was visibly frustrated not being able to describe herself in words, "I'll tell you this, I'm bound to him..." She ran her index finger along the reddened gash on her neck  He's blackmailing me."

"So you're like his pet?" You held in your laughter, you knew you should be more serious but you had no other way of trying to help Kyungeun express the gist of her relationship.

"I'll tell you another day...  Let's just go before the teacher gets mad at you for taking so long to change."

...

After your class full of advanced leg exercises and mediocrely fun games, you got halted by your gym teacher, "Y/N can we speak about how tardy you were today?"

You got fearful of her sentencing you detention, freezing up from your heel upwards, "I'm so sorry, I just had a lot going on last night..."

"Sweetie, I know this is your first late in my class but unfortunately the school does not tolerate tardiness in the way I believe it should be." She tapped her chin a few times, "I have no other choice but to send you to detention but it'll just be a half-hour at lunch." You felt better that it wasn't for a full hour or two after school but you were still dreading the idea.

"Can't you just let me off the hook? I promise it'll never happen again" You pleaded desperately.

"I'm afraid I cannot... If the other teachers or students knew you didn't get sent to detention I could get into trouble for giving you 'special treatment'. I know you didn't mean to love but I cannot afford to lose my job so I'll see you then." She patted one of your shoulders, giving it a little squeeze to cheer you up.

"I understand..." You nod with your head that already hung low.

"It's in the English room down the hall, there is usually only a few students there. Some familiar faces."

...

That rest of your morning would only pull through faster as you got some weird anxiety over walking into the detention room. You could not concentrate at all in the class you had before lunch. You felt as if you were too good for the detention group of kids, but here you were about to join those you criticized. Karma.

"Make sure to answer the questions 8-16 on page 300, you have the rest of the class to do so. Any questions?" Your physics teacher stood with his hands balled up behind his back.

Realizing you had no physics book in your bag after triple checking, you shot your arm up in distress, "ME! I forgot my textbook today... I was in a rush this morning." You faked a polite laugh with the expectation your teacher would have a spare.

"I'm afraid I don't have an extra, anyone willing to share?" The teacher lifted his head to scan the class.

"I could share." Jaeyun winked making your face recoil

"Perfect! You'll probably have to move your stuff to his seat then." Your teacher suggested.

With a thick coat of disappointment, you pulled a chair up to Jaeyun's desk to which he kneed you annoyingly.

Within just a few seconds of settling down, you complained "How the hell am I supposed to write? There is no space... Desks are made for ONE person."

"Okay then don't use my textbook and fall behind" He sneered.

"Wait wait, I just had the greatest idea Jaeyun." He gave you puppy eyes when you said his name, "What if you look for half the answers I do the other half then exchange?" You whispered so the teacher could hear.

"I can't trust you make good answers though..." He jokingly sighed.

"HEY! Okay or work together for every question to get it done twice as fast? Oh wait but then I'll be the one carrying the team... Bummer..." You stretched the corners of your mouth until your lips disappeared.

"I honestly don't feel like doing work so lose-lose." He pouted and rolled his eyes.

"Same... I can't even focus, I'm having a rough morning..." You openly admitted, "I got sent to detention for being late in my first class."

"Detention? Didn't think you were the type." Jaeyun had an unexpectedly sweet giggle which contrasted with his lower tone voice, "Heeseung and Sunghoon get sent often, surprised they aren't kicked out of the school."

"They get sent often?!" Your voice rose to which you quickly quieted down to avoid trouble, "Will I see them there?"

"Why? Looking forward to going now?" Jaeyun whispered with a grin, causing you to scoff.

"As if..." A sudden idea coming to mind, "Say Jaeyun... About the party... Heard you guys have a place in the woods...?" You became aware that you could pry some information out of him that would help you when searching the woods that night.

"Yeah, we do... We don't normally tell people about it." He said casually yet still with some sort of caution.

"So why tell us then?"

"Haven't had any visitors in a while..." Jaeyun toyed with his mechanical pencil, using the plastic part to trace around his lips, "Awfully interested aren't you?" He seemed to have caught on to your intentions, shifting the mood of the conversation around in a full 180.

Suddenly the dream you had earlier slipped into mind, causing you to sit in growing discomfort, "What do you want from my friends and I?"

"Nothing sweetheart... We're more interested in you than your dormmates. You look like someone we know." He laughed like a psycho and it creeped you out how the two of you were just poking lighthearted jokes to something much darker and mysterious, "I know you're afraid of us, you know far more than most girls." His voice dropped to a whisper as he watched the teacher behind you to make sure he didn't see the both of you slacking.

"Kyungeun knows your secrets too she said she'll tell me."

"She's acting like we don't know her secrets." Jaeyun closed his textbook, "Y/N just remember this, Kyungeun is half as bad as we are and half as pure as you are."

"Alright class, that's it for today's class. This textbook assignment won't be due until Friday have a good lunch." The teacher interrupted, causing your conversation with Jaeyun to end on a hanging note.

"Good luck with detention."Jaeyun hushed in your ear.

_______________

p.s, i changed the cover lol don’t make fun of my photoshop skills!

[moeyy-writes]

Here and Now - Part 2

Zak Bagans x Reader

Warnings: some language (is that a warning?), mention of some gruesome events (show/canon-typical), some fluff. That’s about it.

Word Count: 1,457

Series Master List || My FanFic Master List

You stared at the screen, waiting for the exact time where Aaron claimed to see a shadow in the doorway. Jay watched the screen beside you, squinting ever so slightly. You had bugged him a million times about getting his eyes checked, but he refused. Stubborn ass. But, it was his choice, and that was that.

“There,” you whispered as a dark mass rushed over to the left of the door frame. It was faint, but there was definitely something there. You picked up your walkie talkie.

“Hey, Aaron. We definitely caught something on the night-vision camera in the corner of the room. It doesn’t look like a figure from this view, but there’s definitely a dark mass of some sort there.” It looked more like a mist, but it was really dark. No light was passing through it.

“Man, I saw a shoulder and an arm go through that doorway. I may have caught it on my camera too, but I don’t know.” He was obviously shaken up, having been left in the most active room alone again.

“Well, mark the time and we’ll go over it later,” you noted, writing the time on your notepad.

“Cool, cool.” Aaron continued his EVP session as your gaze moved to another camera. You watched Zak and Billy in the basement, who were gathered around the spirit box. They didn’t seem to be getting any voices yet, but they had only been down there for thirty minutes or so.

“I’m surprised that Zak and Billy aren’t hearing anything. Someone was found buried in that basement. I was sure things would be nuts down there.” You continued to watch the monitor with Jay, hoping for something to come through the static.

“Yeah,” Jay replied. “I didn’t like the feeling I got down there earlier.” He rested his head on his fist and kept watching the screen.

Zak sighed and shifted his weight, staring down at the spirit box in his hand. “Why won’t you talk to us?”

“This is your last chance to talk to us,” Billy announced, his frustration clear on his face. You couldn’t help but smile at the two, before turning back to Aaron’s screen.

Just as you changed your focus, Aaron’s voice came over the walkie.

“Dude, you guys, I keep seeing that damn shadow out of the corner of my eye.” He peered around the room, his eyes wide with what you were sure was fear. You zoned in on him, trying to capture what he was seeing.

Meanwhile, Zak and Billy joined you back at the nerve center, not capturing anything else in the damn basement. Zak pulled up a chair and sat between you and Jay, casually stretching his arm over the back of your chair. It was something he did all the time, but something about the closeness made your heart flutter. Was it because you knew about Zak’s feelings towards you now, and you knew it wasn’t just a friendly motion? You sucked in a deep breath and smiled to yourself.

“Woah, Billy, don’t sit down. I want you to go up there with Aaron and bring the SLS with you. See if you can capture a figure from whatever shadow Aaron is seeing,” Zak instructed with a smirk. Billy huffed and sighed, before following his instructions.

Once Billy made his way up to Aaron, the three of you watched the screens closely. Zak kept his arm behind you while he leaned forward just a little. A small whiff of his cologne filled your senses, spicy and dark. Mmmm. You never realized how good he smelled. You snuck a glance over to him, taking in the sharp features of his jaw. Geez, he was beautiful.

You tensed as you felt his thumb softly smoothing circles into your shoulder. Your eyes flicked back over to Zak, capturing his gaze. He smiled, tilting his head a little, almost as if to ask you if what he was doing was okay. You just smiled, then turned back to the screen.

Why the hell were you so affected be him all of a sudden? You had a crush on the lead investigator pretty much since you met. But, now that you knew he felt the same way, and those feelings were out in the open, something felt different. You felt different around him. It was like you needed to squeeze out every moment of touch, every second of closeness. You craved it now more than ever.

You needed to calm yourself down. You weren’t even officially dating yet.

The rest of the night went on without too much excitement. You got back to your condo just after seven thirty in the morning, and after a shower, you crawled straight into bed.

Your body ached with exhaustion as you settled into bed, waiting for your body to succumb to the impending slumber. After lockdowns, it always took you a good two to three nights to get back into the swing of things. You usually slept for about six hours the day you got back home, then six hours more whenever you ended up falling asleep that night, then for about eight hours the next. By then, you usually were back to a reasonably normal sleep pattern.

Much to your luck, the location for this week’s location was in Vegas, allowing you to return home right after the lockdown. A rare treat you were incredibly thankful for.

You rested your head onto your pillow and threw your phone beside you on the mattress. You had switched on the Do Not Disturb setting, hoping no one would disrupt your sleep. Nothing was going to come between you and your much-needed rest.

You woke up just after two in the afternoon. Your body was stiff from sitting in the nerve center for all those hours, but you needed to get up and moving. There was no reason to just lay there in bed. It only really made you more tired. You needed to get up and about with your day.

As you rolled over, you grabbed your phone and unlocked the screen.

4 New Messages: Zak Attack

(10:48am) Zak: Hey, are you up?

(10:56am) Zak: You must be asleep. Sweet dreams. :)

(12:40pm) Zak: Text me when you’re awake. No rush. I just wanted to know when you’re free next. You know, for our date. ;)

(1:04pm) Zak: Okay, one more text. Also, random question. Are you a coffee or tea person? And, what kind?

You grinned down at your phone as you sprang upright and swung your legs over the side of your bed. Sure, Zak texted you pretty often, mostly about upcoming lockdowns, but never right after a lockdown. That’s when he claimed he needed his ‘beauty sleep’.

With a smile, you thought about your answer.

(2:14pm) Y/N: Hey Zak, I’m awake now. :) I’m free tomorrow or anytime the rest of the week. I should be pretty well rested by then.

You plopped your phone down beside you as your stomach growled. You hadn’t eaten much since dinner before the lockdown, except for the protein bar you shoved down your throat before you drifted off to sleep. Hmm, pancakes.

As you turned back to your phone, you watched the little ellipses wiggle on the screen, indicating that Zak was already writing a reponse.

(2:17pm) Zak: Good morning, gorgeous. ;) Tomorrow is totally doable. What about my other question?

(2:18pm) Y/N: It’s the afternoon, you dork. And you mean questions? :P I like both tea and coffee, but I’m a little more of a coffee person.

(2:20pm) Zak: Smart ass. And okay. Tomorrow, I’ll pick you up around 3pm? We can both sleep in, and I’ll have coffee at the ready.

(2:21pm) Y/N: Where are we going?

(2:22pm) Zak: It’s a surprise. Deal?

Your smile grew as you chuckled to yourself. Zak Bagans was such a dweeb. He absolutely loved planning things and surprising people. It made things easy when you went on investigations and toured the surrounding areas. No one ever fought about where to eat. Zak always found a place and acted as a tour guide as he dragged you all around the location. He took everyone’s liking and food restrictions into account. But, he was a natural planner, which was something you simply weren’t.

(2:25pm) Y/N: Deal. 3pm tomorrow.

(2:26pm) Zak: Cool. I can’t wait. ;)

You launched up from the bed and quickly shuffled to the hall and headed for the kitchen. You were beyond excited to hang out with Zak alone, without the rest of the crew for once. Your stomach flipped as you repeated that it was a date in your head.

A fucking date with Zak Bagans. Oh, boy.

Thanks for reading! Feedback is appreciated! <3

[waftyjourney]

Hej 2021!

I cant describe how 2020 feels in one word. So many things happened, so unpredictable. However, one thing that I really be grateful for: Thanks God, I survived. I able to finish this year with alive, beside every rocks that I’ve got this year.

From the beginning of the year, I was overwhelmed with my future path, either getting into master or having a dream job. Then, it continued by my worries about the future since Covid19 broke all the plans. Until suddenly God led me into a new job. On that day, I was having rustle in my gut, told me that it would be my dream job. After waiting for the long run, I was in. Worked calmly & peacefully in the 1st month. And well, it’d changed, something trigger my mental health and I lost my self. An identity crisis. Until I write this post, I am still having anxiety disorder through the job. Funny isn’t it?

Well, some points that I wanna recap through my journey in 2020, and I hope these will be precious lesson to my life ahead.

Too much worry about the future. Well, that’s no wrong to be prepared about the future. But I admit that I was a fool. I really worry about my future, I felt hopeless & worthless. I am too naive, thinking that our sustenance only could be achieved by working on 9-5 job. And yeah, I was feel sooo miserable as human being. I even compelled to God as if I can’t get 9-5 job, I would be the most pathetic person on the earth. And now, He slammed me over my face. He gave me what I want, but it’s out of my expectation. So yeah, I would never, never again to compel my hope to uncertain things. Only him who knew what the best story that I must walk in.

Discover my self: fear & anxiety. Another thing that I discovered about my inner self: I can’t resist if anyone scolded me. I thought  that I just afraid when my dad mad at me before, but not just my dad. When people around me show theirs madness through me, i will easily triggered. My brain will automatically give an alert & decide to avoid the person. I dunno why my thinking mechanism turn out like this. So, in this year, I met with a boss who crazy about perfectionism. She will mad if something not equal as her standard. And yeah, as a newbie, I made many mistakes. Until one day, she mad at me and scolded me harshly. I dunno why every time she labelled me in a hector way, my life bubble suddenly ‘feel’ as if  her words become true. Then, as you might expect, I enter vicious circle, that I can’t perform well because I am too afraid to her. The peak is around Sept - Oct, when I guessed I will be cut off because I couldn’t perform. At that time I really really afraid to her, can you imagine how big my fear is? The feeling is such fear to be murdered or beaten up by that person. I have had high intensity of anxiety disorder: I can’t take a nap if there is sun light outta there because my brain activated its alert system to stay guard as it’s work hours. If I try to get a nap, close my eyes, my heart will beat rapidly and the scolding scene will play in my brain.  In addition, I  woke up in 3 AM all of sudden, with a fast beating heart, and stay awake.  I also got my first panic attack, where my brain was dysfunction for a moment. All of these become exacerbate as my self which crazy over efficiency. In one time, I had a suicidal though too, I hoped that I get infected by the virus, in order to end this hell. I am tired, I asked internally: why I am very scare to that person? Why I scare to a human as that much? One thing that I learned, I will get triggered when some one scolded me. I am struggle with overthinking, anxiety, and also my own character as eficiency crazy. I know that I must take control of it, but it not an easy process, right? I must learn how to let it go, how to f*uck i off from my mind, in order to unwiring this paralyzed thought.

Go to Psychologist for 1st time, being vulnerable. Meanwhile my anxiety was high, I blamed my self that I can’t good enough. Why I couldn’t perform, why my fear is very irrational, why and why. I called my friends almost every night, I griped so much to release my anxiety. I even tried to open talk to my parents, which I never done before ever in my life. I really need a help from people, I felt that I am disoriented at that time, and at the end, I tried to visit a psychologist. Spilled out of my emotions. One thing that her suggestion that I marked up, P: What the worst possibility if you make mistake again?; M: I will be fired; P: And what you might feeling if it happened?; M: I relief, I will free from all of these; P: See? you will be ok and still breathing Vi ... At this point, I realized that we can’t really stand alone in our life. We need people, we need their perspectives to see logically in our matters. Sometimes we are too focus at our problem, and can’t analyse clearly how to solve it. Moreover, the best healer in our life is only God, and our parents. Parents & home, are the best thing that I ever had in my life. By only feeling their existence, I get less anxious. Sometimes I regret, why I just realize their importance in my mid 20s, and wasting them in my college year. Regardless all these bad things, surprisingly, my communication with my day has became better. Out bonding get thighter, thanks God..

What is the purpose of our life? What so special about our achievements? After become anxious every time - (the demon is still here, now) - I reached in one point: why I am so screw up? Why my job really affected all of my life, besides there are more joyous things that I could find? Why I am always focus in a bad parts? I am really tired with my demon thought. What’s wrong with me?

Well, that’s a lot happened during my 2020. I am not sure what I will face in the next months, but I just hope: I want to be mindful to live my live, be more conscious, and bring back ‘the old me’.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 31

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.5k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: i hope its not too bad. im scared ppl are gonna lose interest tbh. and i know, so many dialogues but it was needed!

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 31 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I woke up the next day a bit disoriented. I couldn't remember when exactly I fell asleep but as soon as my eyes opened, I felt my lips curl. Niall was laying next to me and we were both facing each other. He was still asleep and I brought my hand to his cheek, making him whimper very low. Slowly, I moved closer and pressed my lips on his gently, leaving a small and soft kiss on his mouth. His eyes fluttered half-open and when he saw me, his lips curled. It made my bite my bottom lip when I realized I hadn't seen him this happy in a while. Niall was someone who was always smiling but at this exact moment, it was even more than that. Or perhaps it was the reflection of my own happiness that I could see on his face.

He didn't say anything, he just moved closer to kiss my lips again, making them curl. I brought my hand over my mouth and smiled more.

"Hi."

He chuckled and also brought his hand in front of his mouth.

"Hi." he repeated. "Morning breath?"

"Would be bad if it was the first impression you had of me in the morning."

This time, he laughed and i felt my heart melt in my chest.

"I've smelled your morning breath and been a witness of more." he pointed out with what I guessed was a smirk from the way the corner of his eyes moved up. "Those little futile things won't change my love for you."

I could feel my heart flutter at the same time than my eyes when I heard his words.

"I woke up facing you like this so many times. I've wanted to kiss you so many times. This is the first time I actually do it. I never thought I would."

He stared at me and took his hand away. He was not smirking anymore, just smiling softly at me. I never thought Niall would ever look at me this way. I wouldn't have dared to wish for it.

"Fuck morning breath." he just said moving closer to me and getting half his body on top of mine before pushing my hand gently away and kissing me. It took me a few seconds to allow him to deepen the kiss but eventually I did. I closed my eyes, enjoying the way he kissed me and the warmth of his body over mine until he groaned in my mouth. "How did you sleep?"

I tried to think of an answer but all I could focus on was the way his lips ran down on my neck and how good they felt on my skin. I wanted to lock myself with him in his room for weeks like our own private and deserted island, leaving reality behind.

His phone started ringing and he groaned, his lips stopping on my collarbone. He simply sighed and I grimaced before he got up and searched for his phone through the pockets of the pants he wore the day before. It was not his type to leave dirty clothes on the floor but it seemed like both of us were distracting the other and I couldn't hide that I liked it.

"Hello?" he quickly answered without checking the caller ID... and with the way his face changed, I believed he shouldn't have had. "Oh hi."

I sat in bed and tilted my head, feeling suddenly a bit stressed, wondering who was on the phone but also annoyed, because whoever it was, they were clearly disturbing our alone time like some sort of ship running aground on the beach of my private island. I pushed on the covers and turned to face him, crossing ,my legs as I sat on the end of the bed.

"No, sorry, I'm busy tonight." Niall continued, turning to look at me before sending me a small smile. "I'm spending time with my girlfriend."

I held my breath and Niall stopped moving. After a few seconds, he raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't mean my friend who is a girl, I really mean the girl i'm officially dating. My girlfriend." Silence. "Okay, bye."

He hung up and sighed, throwing his phone on the bed and looking through his drawers for a clean pair of boxers that he just took out.

"Who was it?" I didn't want to seem invasive but the question was burning my lips.

"Oh." he just said with a shrug, glancing at me. "It was Heidi."

The simple mention of her name made my heart jump in my throat, making me slightly nauseous. I was not sure if it was because I was jealous or scared but all I knew was that Niall had sex with her a few times and that it was probably why she was calling. I wanted to ask him to delete her number or even block it but I knew I couldn't. I was trying not to be that kind of girlfriend, the type who gets insecure about every little thing that happens, and every girl her boyfriend talks to, but it wasn't easy. Niall and I were clearly not in the same league and although I knew love is not about physical appearances, I couldn't help but be nervous about all of this.

I suddenly felt extremely self-conscious but also mad at myself for letting someone like Heidi ruin my mood.

"I need a shower." he let out, taking me out of my thoughts. "Wanna come with?"

My mind suddenly went blank and my lips parted slightly as I stared at him. Did I want to see Niall naked and wet in the shower? Fuck yes. Did I want to stand in front of him in my birthday suit? Hell no.

"You reek too, by the way." he added with a smirk, taking his shirt off and throwing it in the laundry basket before turning back to me again and raising his eyebrows.

"Uhm."

I couldn't talk and I couldn't move. I could feel my heart beat all over my body, not really knowing what to answer. He knelt in front of me with a worried expression and placed his hands on my thighs. I could feel how warm they were, even through the fabric of his sweatpants that I was wearing, and it made me swallow hard. I was so scared to do or say something that would make me lose him that I could barely think straight. I had to do something about it before it ruined the relationship I had with him. As lovers, but also as best friends.

"Tempting, but no, i'll just go after you."

I tried to look normal and sent him a smile but he frowned a bit before nodding and getting up again. He bent down to kiss my lips and it sent a rush to my brain. I already regretted saying no but I knew i'd regret a 'yes" even more when i'd be naked in front of him.

I realized I was holding my breath when I sighed as soon as I heard the shower start and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly ridiculous. Niall was now my boyfriend, and he said he loved me... he wouldn't change his mind because of what I look like naked, would he?

I sighed loud and lied back down in bed, grabbing my phone and crossing my ankles together. I couldn't help it and searched Niall's name on google only to find recent articles about him. There were pictures of us kissing at the bar and although it was from afar and not very clear, I felt extremely ugly. 'It's official! Niall Horan finally dating lifelong friend!'

My heart jumped in my chest when I realized the article started with 'After years of friendship, it is without a surprise that Niall Horan is finally seen kissing his childhood friend...' My eyes roamed on the sentence twice, three times... ten. 'Without a surprise'?

I scrolled down to the comments section and started nibbling on my bottom lip. I knew that whatever I would read would end uip hurting me but it was stronger than me. I was not the type to really care about what people thought of me but despite what anyone may tell you, reading mean things about yourself sucks and hurts.

'Can't believe she dated both Harry and Niall! Talk about a dream life! 😍'

'I have no idea how that ugly girl got one of them let alone both. 🤔 It makes no sense'

'They are so adorable!!!!!'

'He fucking deserves better have you seen her? 🤮'

'He lost a bet 😂😂😂'

'OTP OTP OTP 🥰'

I shut my eyes tight again and threw my phone on the bed before groaning low. All I could see behind my eyelids was a parade of emojis and I did the best I could to hold my tears in. I knew Niall was out of my league but some people could be so cruel when hiding behind a computer screen. The shower stopped and when Niall came back in the room, he was followed by a cloud of steam. I looked at him quickly from head to toes, enjoying the view as he walked up to me with only a towel around his waist.

"My turn!" I just said, jumping out of bed. He stopped me as I walked by and pulled me closer, making me chuckle low.

"You're all wet!" I complained jokingly, making him laugh.

"Then just take your clothes off."

His fingers reached for the top of my shirt and he pulled gently on the collar to move it down as his eyes dropped in. I felt my heart jump in my chest and shook my head, taking a step back and making him groan low.

"Pervert!" I added with a chuckle, walking to the bathroom.

I turned around and before closing the door, I stuck my tongue out at him, making him laugh again but I still locked behind myself. I knew my fear and my hatred for my own body was stopping me from living some great things with Niall but I just didn't feel ready to show him all of me. I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. I wanted to turn him on, I wanted him to want me the way I wanted him.

I brushed my teeth first and quickly got undressed and started the waterI stayed a bit longer than I should have in the shower, letting the warm water fall on me and relaxing me as the memories of the night before played over and over in my mind. It was still incredible and unbelievable to me that Niall had finally realized he had feelings for me too but it was my reality now and It felt like I would never get down from my cloud.

I got out of the shower, drying my hair the best I could with a towel before wrapping it around my body and remembering that I left my clothes in the room. I raised my nose up and inhaled deeply before going back. I frowned when I saw him laying in bed in only a pair of boxers and my phone in hands. He looked at me and sighed, turning the phone my way to show me the article I had been reading while he was in the shower.

"I'm sorry I checked your phone it's just..." he sighed again and shook his head. "You shouldn't read shit like that. You know those mean comments aren't true, right?"

I held my towel to make sure it wouldn't fall and sent him a sad smile, walking to the bed. He sat on it and I shrugged as he looked up, wrapping his arms around me.

"Liv, please, listen to me." he let out in a low but worried tone. "I feel so lucky to be with you. You are beautiful and I love you." he paused but he kept staring at me. "Olivia, I love you."

"It's just..." I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling him hold me tighter against him. "I don't know."

"Talk to me, okay?"

I nibbled on my bottom lip and finally just nodded. He let go of me and lied back down in bed, leaving space for me. I lied down next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. I felt secure suddenly and the fact that we weren't looking at each other anymore made it slightly easier.

"You've never seen me naked." I just pointed out.

"That's... correct." he seemed a bit confused. "And i'd like to change that."

My lips curled in a fond smile.

"I mean, I don't know what you're expecting but you may be disappointed." I tried to explain, feeling his arm pull me closer. "I am not shaped like Maya or Heidi or those girls you normally end up with."

Silence. All I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest. He started drawing shapes on the skin of my arm with his fingertip and It made a shiver cross my body as my heart skipped a beat. It reminded me of that time at the movies...

"I only had sex with Maya a few times." he confessed, making me frown.

"Like, how many times?"

"I don't know, four?"

I knew they had dated for a while and it was surprising that they hadn't had sex more often. Clearly, she wanted him and no one could not want her. I frowned more, a bit confused by it but also wondering why exactly he was telling me that.

"Why?"

My question was not clear but I knew he'd understand.

"I couldn't." he explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I couldn't because I only wanted you."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. It was laughable to think someone had the chance to bang a girl like Maya but couldn't because they wanted me more.

"I guess my love for you made it impossible for me to lust after an other girl." he continued. "I don't know what you're scared of but I know I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone else. And I won't be disappointed because it'll be you. And that's all I want. You."

I let my eyes roam on his body and I couldn't deny that I wanted him, too. I had never wanted anyone the way I wanted him. Obviously, this relationship was based on more than sex but it seemed to be an issue and I understood that he wanted to solve it. I also wanted to share everything with him. We had never really talked about sex together, at least not about our personal sex life. It's not that it embarrassed me but I didn't want to hear about the girls he had sex with and what he did with them. it would have been too hard to hear because of my love for him and for that reason, I also kept my stories a secret to make sure he wouldn't tell me his. It was a precaution I took to avoid my heart being too broken and so far, it had worked.

"Remember when we were in my room and you were about to check in a drawer and I told you not to?" I started in a low voice, raising my eyebrows without looking at him. "It was not because of my underwear.. It's just that... it's the place I keep my vibrators."

His fingers stopped moving on my shoulder and I held my breath, a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't expected to admit that to him and obviously, he hadn't expected to hear it either.

"Plural?"

"Yes."

We remained in silence for a while and he finally chuckled.

"That's so hot." he admitted, laughing a bit. "There's so many things I don't know about you when it comes to sex, Liv, and I'd love to talk about it with you."

My traits softened and I looked up at him, moving slightly to get my head on the pillow, my face turned his way. Talking about my body embarrassed me but talking about sex in general didn't and I was totally fine with that discussion.

"Okay, I go first!" I let out with a smirk. "Who's your favorite pornstar? And if you say Jenna Jameson I'm gonna be very disappointed in you."

He sent me an insulted frown, his lips slightly parted, and it made me laugh.

"Do you know me at all?" he just asked, making me laugh. "I don't think I have a favorite, but I guess I enjoy Shyla Jennings."

I raised my nose up and groaned a bit, still looking at him.

"I can't say I'm surprised, and I also can't blame you."

"Why not surprised?" he asked, raising his eyebrows curiously.

"She's your type." I laughed, moving my chin up to look at him better.

"Oh I have a type now?" he wondered as I nodded. "Alright then, who's your fave pornstar?"

My face changed and I shrugged with a small smile.

"Gina Valentina, no second thoughts."

I saw a bunch of emotions cross his face and it made me laugh as he shook his head.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, you wanted a man?" I asked, amused by the conversation, as I sent him a smirk. "Tyler Nixon, then."

His eyes roamed on my face and I tried to guess what he was thinking about. He was discovering things about me that I never thought he'd know but I was totally fine with it: I had nothing to hide. His lips curled into a small but fond smile and I licked my lips, my eyes never leaving his. I felt his hand take mine and he placed his palm against mine before intertwining out fingers together.

"Tell me something that you did that I would never guess."

His voice was low and the atmosphere in the room had shifted completely. We looked at each other for a few seconds and I licked my lips. He brought his hand on my waist, now completely facing me, and my heart jumped in my chest at how good he looked.

"One time I had a threesome with two other girls."

His eyes opened slightly more and his eyebrows raised up, making me laugh. He held me tighter, his fingers sinking in the fabric of the towel I still had around me, and I knew he had many questions to ask.

"You did too, didn't you?" I kept talking, raising my eyebrows too as my eyes roamed on his face.

"Maybe." he sent me a smirk. "I mean, one time when I was very drunk... it happened. But the whole thing is a bit blurry."

I don't know why but it was a relief that he didn't remember it clearly and I licked my lips. It was ridiculous of me but I couldn't help it. I knew it was impossible but I wanted to be the only girl he'd lust... the one who would make him cum the hardest, the one he could never forget.

"Was it someone you were dating?"

"I was... seeing one of them." he admitted with a groan. "And it sort of killed whatever relationship we could have had."

I nodded slowly. "It was the same for me. We broke up only a few days later."

"When was that?" he asked with a frown, probably trying to remember something he wasn't even there for.

"During your third tour."

It made me realize how little I talked about myself when it came to relationship and how little I knew about him, too. I had met all his official girlfriend, although the number could be counted on the fingers of one hand (and not the whole hand), but I wasn't aware of all the 'maybe's' and 'almost's'.

"Are you scared of what could happen after we make love?" he finally asked after a long silence. "Or what I will think? Say?"

I sighed low and looked away. Every time the discussion switched back to my insecurities, I couldn't seem to look at him in the eyes. I knew he'd be able to read me and it scared me, but I also knew that at some point, i'd have to open up to him, or I would lose him.

I shook my head slightly, looking at our intertwined fingers and It suddenly hit me. If someone was going to be there no matter what, it would be Niall, the way he's always been there.

"I hate my body, I hate the way I look naked, and there's no way you will like it. These people online, your fans, or whatever, they're all right."

The words came out of my mouth and I didn't even think. Everything I said I meant so deep that it hurt. All of this I had thought and believed for so long that expressing them out loud gave me a shiver.

"You're beautiful." he just said in a whisper.

I looked up in his eyes and I could see that he was hurt. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as he let go of my hand to slide it back on the towel around me. He kept staring at me as his hand pulled gently on the fabric and an other shiver ran all over my body, not only because of the cold air hitting suddenly my damp skin but also because of the thought of being naked in front of him. He pushed the towel on the floor and I held my breath, biting my bottom lip and sucking my stomach in. I didn't know why I cared so much, I had no idea why I was so scared after everything he showed and said, but I couldn't help it.

His fingertips ran on my waist and to my hip, ending softly on my thigh and I swallowed hard as he sent me a small smile. Slowly, he moved over me, pushing me on my back, and I moved my chin up to keep eye contact with him. I loved the feeling of his over me, like the weight on my whole body was some sort of protection against everything else, even my own complexes. He bent closer and brushed his lips against mine so gently that I felt my heart twist in my chest.

"You're beautiful and I love you." he whispered, making my lips part lightly.

I couldn't move, I was paralyzed, but I forced myself to keep my eyes open when his lips brushed on my jaw and down my neck. They traveled to my breasts and when I felt his warm tongue on one of them, I whimpered, my body jerking very slightly at the feeling.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him too, that I had never been in love with anyone else and that I never would, but the words got stuck in my throat. His mouth moved to my other nipple and I tried to push away all the questions running in my mind without much success. What did he think? Was he disappointed? Was he still lusting me? Loving me?" Or did he just feel bad for me?

His hand reached for my stomach only a few seconds before his lips and he finally looked up at me, shaking his head from left to right and pressing his fingers gently on my skin.

"Don't do that." he asked in a breath.

It took me a few seconds but I finally exhaled and relaxed my body. His lips curled in a small but find smile and he mouthed a 'thank you', making me swallow hard. I didn't know if he realized the strength it took me and what it implied for me exactly, but he seemed to be grateful and that was enough for now.

Very slowly and softly, he pressed his lips on every inch of my skin as my heart seemed to flutter. I felt dizzy suddenly by the way he showed me love but I still couldn't move. I just focused on his mouth brushing everywhere it could and leaving a burning sensation on my skin. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

His hands glided on my thighs until my knees and he spread them slowly. His lips stopped on my lower stomach and the sight of him between my legs was incredible and way more exciting than anything I had imagined before.

"Is this okay?"

I stared at him a few seconds that seemed to last an hour and he waited, his eyes never leaving mine. I licked my bottom lip but nodded slowly but he kept looking at me as he brought his lips down. I held my breath when his lips left a kiss on my slit and I gripped the sheets with one of my hands.

I was completely naked, the curtains were open and I was with Niall. It was everything I had wished for yet it was also my biggest fear. I tried not to think about it when his fingers ran between my legs and his tongue pressed on my clit, making my body jerk again. It slid down and entered me and my eyes fluttered close as I restrained a curse word from escaping my lips.

"Oh my god." I breathed out, forcing myself to open my eyes if only to look at my boyfriend and burn the image of him eating me out on my retina forever.

His tongue and lips worked between my legs, making them twitch as I got closer and closer to an orgasm but it's only when he started sucking on my clit that my back arched and my eyes finally shut tight.

"F-" I stopped myself and started shaking but he held me down on the mattress with one of his arms as an orgasm crossed my whole body.

I couldn't stop squirming as the intense feeling invaded me from head to toes and it's only when it was gone that I whimpered, feeling both embarrassed and happy at the same time. I felt him crawl up my body and when I finally opened my eyes, he was hovering over me, holding himself with his elbows and smiling down fondly at me.

I felt my heart melt at the way he was looking at me and I smiled back, feeling my heartbeats accelerate. Out of fear, and out of love. I just didn't expect his next words but it brought me near tears.

"I didn't think it was possible, but I love you even more."

[callboxkat]

Infinitesimal (part 32)

Author’s note: Hey guys! This is only two hours late, so I’m calling it a win. Also, from now on--if you want to be added or removed from the tag list, please send an ask! I was looking back at older chapters, and apparently there were a few people who asked in a comment that I missed. I’d like to avoid that in the future! 

Enjoy the update. :)

Warnings: nightmare, injuries, death mention, fear, arguing, mentions of kidnapping and being trapped, illness mention, referenced past abuse

Word count: 3691

Look for the masterpost in the notes!

...

Patton blinked awake slowly. His vision faded into focus, and he was startled to see thick, black metal bars criss-crossing about a foot above him.

No… it couldn’t be. How was Patton back in a cage? Hadn’t he gotten away? Fear started to twist in his chest as he frantically tried to figure out how he had gotten here.

“Well aren’t you being a lazy-bones, dolly?” a high-pitched, grating voice suddenly sing-songed. It felt like it came from everywhere at once, making even his bones vibrate. Patton’s blood ran cold.

No…. No, no, no, no! Patton sat up fast, almost like he’d been shocked, snapping his head towards the source of the voice. Pale blue, visibly annoyed eyes larger than his entire head met his.

“Marissa,” he whispered, the word as frail as a dead leaf trembling on its branch, about to be blown away in the wind. His eyes were wide with shock as they took in the huge child’s pudgy, pink face. His fingers began to go numb with panic, his legs trembling.

“I want to play,” Marissa announced, spitting slightly on the ‘p’. Her hand shot towards the cage door, the movement almost too fast to see. She grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth.

Patton jumped up  while she was busy unlocking the door and tried to run, to hide, but there was nothing in the cage but himself, and his feet seemed to slide backwards on the slick plastic floor, making his attempts to run slower than a crawl. The door fell open with a clang; and Marissa’s hand snatched him up easily, lifting him off his feet. Patton’s arms were pinned to his sides, his legs hanging uselessly. The grip around him tightened, pushing the air from his lungs and leaving him breathless.

Marissa pulled him out of the cage and dropped him unceremoniously on the table it sat on. Patton staggered to his feet and attempted to run again, slipping on the fabric scraps strewn about on the wood. Marissa casually flicked his back, sending him crashing to the unforgiving tabletop with a small cry. A sharp pain throbbed in his back, and tears pricked in Patton’s eyes. He had only just begun pushing himself back up on shaky arms when Marissa abruptly grabbed at him again, pinching his right arm between her fingertips, the pressure strongest just above his elbow. She slowly lifted up his struggling form, and Patton’s arm quickly began to go numb as he couldn’t help but whine in discomfort. His legs kicked at the air, and Marissa shook him harshly. It was a miracle that his shoulder didn’t dislocate.

“Stop it!” she snapped at him. “I’m playing!”

Patton went limp immediately, hanging awkwardly as dead weight from the one arm Marissa had pinched in her grasp. His heart was pounding, but he knew from experience that if he kept struggling, he could get seriously hurt.

Marissa giggled, apparently pleased by his compliance. She took a step back from the table, then lifted Patton up high, oh, so high, impossibly far from the floor below. He stared down at Marissa’s face with frightened eyes. She grinned, her teeth somehow even sharper than before, like the shark teeth he had seen once in a book.

“W-wait, p-ple-ase,” he gasped desperately, realizing what was about to happen. “Don’t!”

She let go anyway.

…

Patton awoke for real with a jolt and a startled, quickly stifled cry. Disoriented by the dream that still felt so incredibly real, his eyes darted around, desperately trying to figure out where he was. It was a stark contrast to what he had just experienced: It was dark; the cage and Marissa were both gone; and most notably, he was no longer plummeting to his certain death. He  found that he was lying in a nest of blankets and other soft materials, a warmth at his side.

Patton knew then where he was: He was in Virgil’s and Emile’s home, curled up alongside them. He wasn’t with Marissa. He wasn’t with any human at all. He was free. He was safe.

I’m safe, Patton repeated to himself. I’m safe.

As the all-consuming terror of his dream faded, Patton slowly felt himself return to his body. One of the blankets had gotten wrapped around him at some point, nearly pinning his left arm to his side. He had also rolled onto his other arm, which had now gone numb beneath him from the elbow down.

Patton forced his left arm free of the blanket, then rolled over onto his back and tried to catch his breath as quietly as possible. Pins and needles pricked through his numb right arm, the feeling gradually returning to it as his heart rate just barely began to slow to its normal pace. It had been a while since he’d had a nightmare that bad. He didn’t think he had had one so vivid and terrifying since before Virgil had rescued him.

The brother lying closer to him was stirring, probably roused due to Patton’s movement and any noise he hadn’t quite managed to silence. Patton had gone to bed first of the three that night, and it was rather dark in the room, so he wasn’t sure which brother it was. He hoped that he hadn’t woken either of them. Virgil had told him that he could always wake him up if this happened, but… Patton just felt so guilty doing that. Virgil and Emile had already done so much for him.

The person lying beside him relaxed again after a moment, his breathing evening out; and Patton released his breath in a quiet, relieved sigh. He stared up into the darkness, his heart still pounding, and hoped that he would eventually fall back asleep.

…

“Hey… did I elbow someone last night?”

“What?” Virgil asked, glancing over at Emile from where he’d been sitting, in the middle of sewing up a hole in his jacket. Patton, who had been sitting nearby untangling a wad of string, stilled. He thought of the part of his dream when Marissa had flicked him. The spot on his back was still a little sore despite the injury having happened in a dream.

“I thought, maybe… I don’t know,” Emile was saying, trailing off uncertainly. He shrugged, glancing between his brother and Patton. “Sorry.”

“I mean, you do it often enough that I wouldn’t be surprised,” Virgil admitted jokingly. “But it wasn’t me.” He glanced towards Patton questioningly.

“Oh—um, maybe,” Patton admitted. “My back, I think? It wasn’t too hard. I barely even woke up. I never would have known if you hadn’t said anything.” He took a long sip of his water, glancing away.

“Oh,” Emile said, sounding relieved. “Okay. Sorry about that, anyway. It was an accident.”

Patton shook his head, setting down his cup and looking up at Emile with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, kiddo; you were asleep. It’s not your fault. I’m fine, promise.”

Virgil glanced between the two of them, then returned to his sewing. One of the lights flickered overhead just as Virgil went to do a stitch, and he pricked his finger with the needle. Virgil sighed, sitting back. “So, are we doing anything today besides mending clothes?” he asked, sticking the tip of his sore finger in his mouth.

“I was actually meaning to talk to you two about that,” Emile said. “I need to go out and get some things.”  He rolled his shoulders and stretched. “It might take a couple days, though .”

“A couple of days?” Virgil echoed. “Where are you going?”

“I need to get some stuff on the upper floors. For repairs and such. We’re running low.”

Virgil removed the finger from his mouth. “Okay. Let me come.”

Emile sighed. “No.”

Patton shifted uncomfortably. The light flickered again.

“Why not?” Virgil said, sounding annoyed now.

“I’m—I’m gonna take a walk,” Patton announced. Virgil and Emile didn’t fight very often; but things were still  kind of tense between them; and it made Patton rather nervous to see, even though he knew by now that they were not going to change their minds about letting him stay.

“Wait, Pat, you don’t have to go,” Virgil said, the annoyance immediately gone from his voice.

“I won’t go far,” Patton promised, already getting to his feet.

Virgil sighed, rubbed his temple, then nodded. “…Okay. Don’t be gone too long, though, yeah?”

Patton made an affirmative noise, grabbed a water pouch from near the door, and left the room as he fastened it around his waist.

…

“Why can’t I go with you?” Virgil asked once Patton was gone, turning back to Emile. “Do you really still think I can’t do it?”

“Virgil, I can’t—”

“You can,” Virgil interrupted. “I can do it. You know it. I know it. I’ve left the walls before, so many times! Haven’t I proven myself capable? I know you’re still mad that I lied to you, but I can do it! I saved Patton from humans. I can steal a few crumbs without being caught. Why do you still treat me like a helpless child?”

“It’s not that I think you can’t do it,” Emile said as calmly as possible.

“Then what is it? Are you still mad about me saving Patton?”

“I’m not mad that you saved Patton, of course not! I’m mad because—I’m mad that you didn’t tell me about him sooner!”

Virgil paused, confused. He hadn’t told Emile about going to see Patton in the time between finding and rescuing him, that was true, but why was this somehow worse than all the other times he had left the walls without Emile’s permission?

“Look, I get that it wasn’t safe—.”

“It’s not that,” Emile snapped. “It’s not just that. It’s…. Why didn’t you tell me? Did you think I wouldn’t want to help him? Why didn’t you trust me? Did you really think that I would ever leave someone stuck in a cage, that I would be that selfish?”

“…No,” Virgil said quietly, realization dawning in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say more, but found that he had apparently forgotten how to speak.

“I just… I need some time to think. Okay?”

After a long pause, Virgil all but whispered, “You’ve had two months to think.”

“Have I?” Emile asked. “We’ve been busy trying to get Patton back on his feet—he was so sick when you brought him here, Virge; you know that. And besides that, I’ve had to be collecting supplies for three people now—and don’t you dare use that against me,” he interrupted himself, before Virgil had the chance to say that that was all the more reason for him to go with. Which may or may not have been exactly what he was about to do.

Instead, Virgil sighed. “Fine. Whatever.”

“Patton wouldn’t want to be left alone, anyway, would he?” he reasoned more gently.

Virgil thought for a moment. “I guess not,” he admitted reluctantly. He knew that Patton couldn’t do a trip like that yet, certainly not easily, and it wasn’t fair to ask him to attempt to travel that far. Emile had a point. They couldn’t leave Patton alone here for two days. Not with the nightmares he got when alone. He looked away, then got to his feet, grabbing the crutches that had been laying at his side. “I’m going to go find Patton,” he announced, already on his way out the door.

“Do you want me to wait until you get back before I leave?” Emile called after him. “I have everything mostly ready, but I can wait.”

“No, why bother?” Virgil said, his back to his brother. “Don’t let me interrupt your thinking time.” He did pause in the doorway, though, and look back at Emile. “I am sorry,” he said, his tone softer and gentler than before. “I wasn’t thinking about—When I didn’t tell you about Patton, it wasn’t because I actually thought you’d leave him. I know you would have helped him escape, too. I was just… just scared, I guess. I didn’t realize that it would seem like I thought you’d do that to him. So… I’m sorry for that. Really.”

Emile nodded, not meeting his eyes; and Virgil left the house.

…

Virgil had a pretty good idea of where he could probably find Patton. He knew that his friend wouldn’t have left the floor, which narrowed things down quite a bit. There was a spot that the two of them had visited frequently since Patton had first arrived, as the two of them went on regular walks together, trying to get Patton’s strength up.

The walks were working pretty well, and they could go a lot further now before Patton needed a rest than they had been able to at the beginning, meaning that they usually no longer needed to use this place for a rest. Patton had come a long way. Even so, they often visited there, whether Patton actually needed a break or not.

There was a spot where a hole was cut into an air vent on this floor, both to allow access to the vent and to let more of the heat it carried to reach the littles’ house in the colder months. There was a vent cover near the entrance that had a view down into the apartment below, which had a large aquarium almost perfectly placed in the center of the view the vent provided. It was a nice place to spend some time, honestly, just watching the fish swim about. Virgil went there; and sure enough, Patton was sitting in front of the vent cover, hugging his knees and looking through the slats at the fish tank below.

“Hey,” Virgil said softly, nearing.

Patton looked up. “Oh, hi, kiddo!” he greeted. “What’re you doing here?”

“Came to find you.” He sat down at Patton’s side. “How are the fish?”

“Sasha and Sweetpea keep chasing each other,” Patton answered. He had insisted on naming all ten of the fish in the tank during their past visits. “Maybe they’re playing tag.”

Virgil nodded seriously, looking down at the fish, two of which, sure enough, were chasing each other around the tank. “I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. “I hope we didn’t make you too uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay,” Patton mumbled, looking back to the fish.

“It’s okay if it’s not okay,” Virgil said.

Patton shifted, adjusting how his arms rested around his knees. “Really, Virgil—I know that you and Emile are going to fight sometimes. And I know you’re not going to kick me out. It just… makes me nervous, sometimes, that tone of voice.” He looked away with a feeble shrug. “

Virgil looked down at the floor of the vent ruminatively. After a moment, he put a reassuring arm around Patton’s shoulders. “I’ll try to not do that anymore,” he said. “And I’ll talk to Emile. We can try to have more… discussions, before things get heated.”

“It’s not even really just fighting, though,” Patton admitted softly. “It’s just…”—he smudged at his eye with his sleeve—”when she used to get annoyed, it wasn’t… It wasn’t good.” He kept staring determinedly down at the fish. “I know you’re not—you’re not even….” (Human, Virgil thought, silently finishing the sentence.) Patton swallowed. “But it still makes me nervous, for some reason. It’s not fair to ask you guys to never be annoyed with each other, or realistic. I know that.”

Virgil bit his lip, his heart sinking at the thought of having scared Patton. “How about we promise to leave the room if that happens?” he offered. “You shouldn’t have to be the one who has to leave.”

Patton seemed about to refuse, but Virgil squeezed his shoulder, and he reluctantly nodded. “If… if Emile’s okay with it,” he whispered.

“He will be, I know it. Besides,” Virgil said. “Emile and I were talking, and… we should hopefully not be fighting as much anymore. I realized I’ve been kind of a jerk to him.”

“You’re not a jerk,” Patton mumbled.

“Thanks. But… I did act like a jerk, kind of, to him. He was upset that I didn’t tell him about you before I brought you home. I guess he thought that I thought he wouldn’t want to help you. Which… I honestly hadn’t even considered.”

Patton glanced over, but he didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I think it’s going to be better now,” Virgil said. “He’s probably out on that supply run already, though, so it’s just going to be the two of us for the next couple of days.”

…

Several minutes passed in silence, the two friends watching the aquarium below. After a while, Patton released his knees and sat back, uncurling a bit from his formerly hunched position.

“Do you think Roman and Logan are okay?” Patton asked softly. The question probably seemed out of nowhere, especially given their previous conversation topic; but Patton still thought about the humans quite a lot.

“Does it matter?” Virgil frowned, glancing at him. “They’re humans.”

“Yeah, but…” Patton bit his lip. “I’d just like to know.”

“Why?” The question seemed genuine.

“I don’t… I don’t know. They were pretty nice to me, weren’t they, even though they’re humans? I don’t really—I don’t know why they let me go, or why… anything they did. But they were nice to me. Without them, I could’ve….” Patton trailed off, uncomfortable and uncertain. “I don’t know.” The humans had saved him, really. Patton was pretty sure. He knew that he had been in bad shape when the found him—even if they had basically kidnapped him, Patton thought that their intentions were good. They had fixed up his hands, given him food and water and a place to recover from his ordeal; although, they hadn’t exactly gone about it the way that Patton would have preferred. Even after they had stopped trapping him in the cage, they left him on top of a table that he was too ill to climb down alone. There were also the multiple times they had scared him, whether it was intentional or not. Plus, while he didn’t remember much about when the humans had found him at the beach, he was pretty sure that he had not exactly been captured willingly. Still, the bad things that the humans had done didn’t negate the ways that they had attempted to help him. Even the outfit whose sleeve Patton was worrying between his fingers attested to that. The fact remained that, had Roman and Logan not found him, the chances were not insignificant that someone else would have instead. And even if that hadn’t been her… Patton would prefer not to think about it. He knew that he had gotten lucky.

If he hadn’t been caught by Logan and Roman, after all, he would never have met Virgil and Emile, would he?

Virgil brought Patton out of his thoughts when he sighed, looking up towards the ceiling. He had made it clear that he still thought that the humans had been trying to trick Patton into becoming a pet, or an experiment, or something of the sort through some kind of mind game; but he had also all but admitted that they had seemed to genuinely want to help Patton. Now, he looked conflicted.

As Patton watched, Virgil screwed his eyes shut, as if already suspecting that he was going to regret what he was about to say. “Well…” he began reluctantly, “I guess… we have some free time while Emile’s out on his supply run. If—if it’ll make you happy, we can go down to the second floor. Just for a bit, to look in on them.”

Patton sat up straighter and turned to his friend, surprised. “But… I thought you closed off all the doors?” He had been working on that for a while, starting a couple of weeks after he’d rescued Patton. Once he’d been settled in, Virgil had started leaving about one day per week to work on closing off the doors. Emile had reluctantly allowed it since it didn’t require leaving the walls, and Virgil surely wasn’t going to disobey in this case. Virgil had finished the job some time ago.

Virgil shifted at his side. “I left one,” he admitted quietly. “For emergencies.”

Patton felt a flutter of excitement. “You’re sure about this?” he checked.

…

Virgil knew he shouldn’t have made the offer.

The humans that Patton had been trapped with were just that: humans. Practically synonymous with the word “danger”. But as Virgil watched his friend’s eyes light up, he felt a bit better about his decision. What he was offering really didn’t invite a lot of danger: they were not going to let the humans see them, and they were not going to get close enough to get caught even if that did somehow happen. They were certainly not going to talk to the humans. Virgil was only offering a look at them, to show his friend that they were okay. Something he would definitely not be offering had the humans shown any sign of seriously looking for Patton. Either they had given up quickly, or they were almost hilariously incompetent at searching for him. Good news for the littles either way.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Virgil assured, getting to his feet. “Consider it an apology for upsetting you.” He adjusted his crutches and put out a hand to help Patton up. His friend took it with a small smile; and Virgil pulled him to his feet, trying to ignore the fact that he could still feel the thick, slightly raised line of the scar across his friend’s palm. “Let me be clear, though—we’re not talking to them, or letting them see us. Just looking in on them. I left a doorway in the living room, where we can see them and stay hidden.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Patton said.

“I know. But if it’ll make you feel better, and we don’t take any risks… why not?”

[toshis-puppycat]

Dreamscape Part Nine

Masterlist

A/n: so here's part nine! I hope yall enjoy and well I realized you guys might want me to have a tag list?? So I can add that in now just pls let me know if you want in 💖 enjoy also I never said it bcs I was so happy writing this but like thank you to the gc for the name. I love yall so much tbh

——

Two nights later, you were really bothered. You had dreams about the whole group. Well, almost the whole group. How you met a kid version of Mike was still unknown to you, and you were starting to worry. Not only that but it made no sense that none of them reacted when meeting you the first time. And… the last part you didn't even want to think about. The fact that your father was in the dream, no in the memories that you saw. You wanted to do what you always did when something odd involved your father in your memories. You did it when you were younger all the time. In fact the last time you had done it was when you were around 8 years old. You were dreaming about when you were just a toddler. You were walking around a house, a very unfamiliar house to you now but it seemed like the you in the dream knew where you were going. You ended up walking to the living room, and that's when you saw your 'papa' looking in the area. But he wasn't your 'papa' he looked menacing. And in this you knew you were terrified of him. His dark eyes, the evil look. Then you woke up screaming, and he ran in, as you ended up pushing yourself away, backing into a corner screaming in terror. He wasn't mad at you. Just worried, and you felt so silly. But you never said he was the nightmare you had. You didn't mention a word of what the nightmare was. Because somehow you knew he wouldn't react pleasantly to it. When you were younger your instincts never let you down. When you met Henry as a child you knew he was going to be bad news, seeing him grow up solidified that feeling. What happened two nights ago… it definitely made the feeling you had before valid. You always wanted to brush off the feeling, but it was different. It stayed and festered, even though you never tried to let it affect your relationship with your father there was always some part of you that was wary of him. Having these dreams, suddenly made everything fall into place though. You had vague memories of a woman you called mom and then growing up, you'd never had many friends. You would make them no problem but soon after meeting your father they'd lose interest in you. Giving terrified glances during class that no one believed you noticed. These dreams were real, the memory of that woman, it wasn't your real mother. And if they were real that meant that your father wasn't your father. He was your kidnapper and he was a killer. 

'I need to see all of you soon.' The group read the text over and over. It was a simple text from someone they haven't talked to in 2 days. Stan said everything was alright and that he apologized but they were still worried. You became a fixture in their lives at this point. Someone who brought them comfort and joy, something they hadn't felt for a human in a long time. The need to protect you. Stan was avoiding the questions from them, and it seemed like you would be revealing what the answer would be.

Growing up, you'd always felt as if you were a strong individual. Someone who couldn't be hurt when people left the way they did. Someone who would be the rational leader. You didn't feel that way anymore though. You were scared. News about finding someone in the woods near your apartment never came up. Henry was still out there and he was most likely pissed. You didn't want to leave the apartment but you knew you had to see them soon. Sending that text solidified the need for it. You had questions, and you knew they'd be the only ones to answer them. You were being very careful, slipping out and making sure there was no one outside before leaving. You were sure to be extra careful, being more cautious and to make sure you didn't hurt yourself anymore. The bruise was less obvious now, and you had something to make sure it wouldn't be too bad to walk around. It didn't take long before you were in front of their apartment and knocking on their door. Stan was the one to open it, and thankfully he didn't look too surprised to see you. He moved out of the way so you could go in and they were all in the living room, waiting for you.

"We have a lot to talk about." You said, taking a deep breath and looking down, "all of us. This isn't about Stan and I. It's about all of us." Richie looked really confused. Were you going to tell them you didn't want to see them again too? Because they didn't do more to Stan with making him be nice?

"Do you not want to be friends anymore y/n?" Eddie asked, honest fear in his voice. When you looked up startled, he could feel that he was wrong though. So what was it then?

"I've had… dreams. For as long as I could ever remember I've had dreams about people. People in the past who've been dead a long time." You said, looking at them. "Two nights ago, when I ran out… I was almost-"

"You were hurt." Stan cut you off, his voice tight. You turned to look at him, not quite annoyed but startled he even said anything.

"I was hurt. By someone I've known since I was a kid. An honest to god creep." You said, Richie quickly stood up, looking furiously at Stan. "Richie I swear to god if you interrupt me because you're mad and you think Stan hurt me, I will kick your ass." You said quickly, angry that he even attempted to think it was Stan who hurt you. You knew he would never do that. Because… Stan was Stanley. You sighed. "When were you guys going to tell me?" 

They looked confused at you. Except Mike, he knew. 

"She mean when were we going to tell her we were dead." Mike said, looking down. The group looked startled at the revelation that you knew. Stan looked uncomfortable, like he just knew you what you thought. He's such a dumbass thinking you changed that much. 

"I get it ya know? Like you probably thought that I was going to say you all were evil or should have stayed dead or something. But really? Did you really think I could ever think that about you?" You asked. You looked at Mike and you knew he could answer it.

"Not all of us remember what happened. We can remember our names and have vague memories of what it was like back then and our deaths. We don't remember much else though." Mike said, he was still avoiding your eyes though. 

"W-we thou-ught y-you'd ha-ate us y/n." Bill said, he was stuttering and some small part of you remembered he only stuttered at this point because he was nervous. "We-we've lost p-people before. T-they've left us b-before. T-they've thre-eatened us before." He couldn't look at you. He was scared, hell you were scared but you were scared of what they must have thought of themselves. 

"I'm surprised though. You're not like us. You're alive y/n. You're young and you're alive, so how did you even find out? How did you have those dreams?" Mike asked, he placed a hand on Bill's shoulder to steady his friend, a means to make sure he was grounded in the present. You looked at them.

"I've had them for a long time. The earliest I can remember was when I was eight years old. I had a dream about this small village? I guess you could say." You said, you didn't see how Stan stiffened behind you though, and how he looked at you afterwards. "In it I couldn't have been more than like 2 or 3. I was a toddler and I was running around. And I called-"

"Me." Stan said, cutting you off. You turned to face him, and you noticed how shocked he looked. Since you'd thought they were dreams you never believed that he actually remembered,  even when he was crying to you that he'd never forget you. "You called out Beanly. But you said Stanley. That was me." He finished. 

Bev was the one to break the tension. "Stans always remembered. What happened with him. All of it." She said. 

"And you guys didn't have the luxury of having the same thing?" You asked. They all shook their heads. 

"We couldn't. The one who turned us, he. He said he couldn't let us remember." Ben said, he looked paler than he should've. But to be fair when you said you knew about them it terrified him way more than it should have considering he knew you wouldn't be able to hurt them. You flinched when they said he didn't want them to remember. You knew who he was. Mike noticed.

"You know him don't you?" He asked, and they all shifted to focus on you once more. You sighed.

"He's my father." You said, they all looked at you shocked. "And I think he kidnapped me."

——

Taglist: @homosexualkaspbrak @traqicalromance @rickytoaster

[sleepyfan-blog]

warnings: Betrayal, cursing

Fandom: Underverse, 

characters: Dust, Killer, Horror, Cross, Dream, Baby Blasters Sans and Papyrus

word count: 2,891

summary: Dream wakes up to an argument, and realizes that he fled to the wrong au. Can he talk Cross into letting him go?

Dream woke to the sound of three voices arguing, low and fast, their emotions tense, fearful and uncertain and mixed with confusion. But he couldn't focus on what they were saying, as he felt as if his bones had been pulled from him one by one, soaked and acid, before being roughly shoved back. He was low on magic and curled around something in a very uncomfortable position. The guardian of positivity frowned at himself, took in a couple of deep, calming breaths and did his best to focus through the slowly receding pain to try to listen in on who was arguing. Their magic was somewhat familiar to him - but not in a good way.

"-and I'm telling you, one of us needs to teleport to boss, right now, and tell him." A rough, growling voice muttered angrily, sounding as if he was a couple of feet to Dream's left.

"Yeah, and I don't want to be the one to do it! You know how tetchy he gets whenever his name is mentioned around him, and he's going to lose his shit if he finds out that the ball of fuckin' sunshine is actually here. Why the hell he's here, I don't know." A second, lighter voice hissed from a little bit further away.

"I didn't realize that Sunny D knew where this timeline was. You'd think that boss would have picked a timeline that none of the Star Shits had been to before, given that our main base is here." A third voice purred "And wouldn't it be better if we just dragged him to boss in the first place? Because if we go and tell Nightmare that he's here, there's a chance that Dream will wake up and teleport off. And then Boss'll really be pissed."

"I can barely sense him though. Which means he's probably got like... Next to no magic. Do you really think he could walk in that state, much less create a portal to leave?" The first voice pointed out musingly.

Dream tried not to flinch as he realized that he'd... He'd come back to Dreamtale - and the memories of why he had instinctively fled to his former home caused the positivity guardian to try to suppress a violent flinch and a sob - Horror, Killer and Dust hadn't seemed to notice that he was awake yet - and he needed to make sure that the tiny, abused children that he'd rescued would be safe. And they really weren't here. He also realized that he had somehow managed to turn back into his original form - but at least he wasn't dog-shaped. At least it wasn't immediately apparent that

Cross spoke up - because of course all four of Nightmare's main minions were crowded around him - saying quietly "What I want to know is why are his clothes shredded? I've never seen his boots torn up like that - and his pants are all messed up as well."

"... That's a good point. Welp, something to ask him when he wakes up. Heh, we might be able to have a bit of fun with him before we tell boss." Dust responded, and Dream could hear the sadistic glee in the other's voice, not just in the other's magic. There was a dull smacking sound of bone against bone and Dust hissed "Oww! What was that for?"

"Don't be weird and gross, Dust." Cross scolded, discomfort in the other's magic as he spoke "I think that earns you the dubious honor of telling bo-"

Dream could hear the ringing of an interdimensional cell phone, and Dust answered "What's up, boss? ... Right now? I mean, we kind of... Okay! Okay fiiine... Yes boss... Recon and report. By myself or-? Got it. Yes boss." It felt like an eternity of silence before Dust spoke up again "Well, Horror and I have a mission - and he wants us to leave now... And there's the portal. I'll tell you the details once we get through. Have fun sorting this mess out you two."

The positivity guardian heard two sets of footsteps walk away from him, before their magical signatures vanished. Despite desperately wanting to try to get up - to try to move into a less vulnerable position, Dream was hoping that the two remaining Bad Sanses were still under the impression that he was asleep, and might give him an opportunity to flee with the very young Sans and Papyrus he was still holding carefully. Thankfully, both of the pups were still asleep, snuggled into one another and nestled in his arms. He didn't dare to even activate his eye lights in an attempt to see what was going on, as that would reveal, if one of them was looking at his face, that he was awake. He knew that he would have exactly one chance to try to escape with how little magic he had - and the fact that both Killer and Cross were efficient hunters.

"Soo... Let's fight to see who has to tell boss. Loser has to give him the news." Killer suggested.

"No. For one thing, Nightmare doesn't like it when we fight each other... Besides, you'll be the one going to speak to him anyways." Cross responded.

"Are you implying that you're stronger than me, Crossy-boy?" Killer hissed, irritation and indignation spiking in the other's magic.

"Yes. I know for a fact that I'm stronger than you are, Killer." The monochromatic skeleton answered back, supremely unconcerned about his teammate's annoyance.

"Then put your gold where your mouth is, you shit!" Killer growled, and Dream felt the other's irritation turn into rage and bloodlust.

"I don't need to prove myself to you, Killer." Cross responded back, his voice still calm. "One of us needs to tell Nightmare that Dream - and whoever he's got with him - is here and I don't trust you not to try to stab one of the three of them while I'm away. You've stabbed prisoners out of boredom before, and I don't think that Nightmare would take it well if you were hurting Dream. He's..."

"Really strange when it comes to that particular Star Shit? Yeah. I've noticed that much. I've been working with Boss for a lot longer than you have... And what do you mean by whoever's with him? It's just Dream." Killer growled, confused.

"He has two beings with him. A Sans and Papyrus who I've never sensed before. He's hidden their magical presence with his own, but I can sense them." Cross answered back.

"... Both of them must be really tiny, if that's true. Because I certainly don't see another Papyrus laying down next to him, and they're always tall... If they're full grown." Killer grumbled "Fine. I... I'll go talk to boss."

Moments later, Dream felt the tell-tale flash of magic distinctive to teleportation. With only one of the bad Sanses watching him, now was definitely the time to-

"I know you're awake, Dream. I noticed the difference in your breathing pattern, earlier." Cross spoke up, his voice suddenly much closer and more directly above him than normal. "So you might as well get up.”

Dream hesitated for a moment before turning on his eye lights and looking up at Cross - startled that the other was kneeling directly in front of him. After a moment of awkwardly starting at the other's mis-matched eye lights, the older skeleton shifted his hold on the sleeping Sans and Papyrus in his arms so that he was holding both of them with one arm, using the other to slowly and painfully push himself up into a sitting position, a quiet groan of pain leaving him as his joints snapped and popped a little bit as he straightened his spine, staring blearily at the other. He didn't know Cross very well - but he knew that Ink did... And that the other had counted the other as a friend. Perhaps he could reach out to the other, while he had the chance? Keeping his voice low so that he hopefully didn't wake up the sleeping children, he pleaded quietly "Please let me leave, Cross. I hadn't meant to come here - I've... I've never spoken of this place to Ink or Blue, ever and I... It's vanishingly unlikely that I ever will. Please I-I've got to get the little ones to safety!"

Cross stared at him, the other's eye lights widening and Dream could feel the horror and confusion within the other's soul as the younger skeleton seemed to be at an utter loss. "I... What... What the actual fuck happened to you, Dream?"

Ah. Time to lie. "I... N-nothing much, I just... Uhm..." Dream looked down at himself - Cross's horrified staring was... Oh no. His clothes were ripped to shreds, and since he'd moved, his cape wasn't covering much anymore. A bright gold blush appeared on his face and with his free hand he tugged his cape over himself (and the pups) "I... Cross please..."

"No. Seriously. What the hell happened?" Cross growled, his eye lights intense "What did he do to you? I can sense traces of his magic on you, but I wasn't going to say anything in front of the others. What the fuck did a Gaster do to you?" The other grabbed one of his shoulders, shaking him a little.

The sudden movement startled Dream, causing him to flinch and curl in on himself, and the rough movements forced a whimper of pain to leave him "I... P-please... I-It's p-probably n-not as bad as you th-think! I just... The G-Gaster b-briefly experimented on m-me but he c-couldn't keep me contained for v-very long. I f-found the Sans and Papyrus in a cell and broke them o-out and... I was r-running on instinct and I h-had only enough m-magic to 'port us to one AU and I... I-I went home... I d-didn't remember at the t-time that it's n-not safe here anymore. It ha-hasn't in a long time but I... I-I fled here to Nigh..." Dream immediately stopped talking, shifting his hold on the pups again, so that he was holding them in his arms again "But that's not important. What is, i-is getting the children to safety. Please let me leave so I can get them to safety. I-I'll bring you along too! S-so you won't get into trouble for letting me escape."

"I... I don't..." Cross responded, his facial expression - half hidden by his scarf - showing absolutely nothing. But the other's emotions were unsettled and unsure - as if the other was trying to figure out what to do. The other's gaze fixated on the tiny bone puppies in Dream's arms. "Why do they look like that?"

"Oh... You've never been to a Baby Blaster Beast AU?" The guardian of positivity asked, blinking a little in surprise "Or even a Gaster Blaster Beast AU before? I... I'll explain but please - at least let me open a portal to set the children in a safer world, Cross?"

"No, I haven't... they're... So small..." The monocrhomatic skeleton responded, his red and white eye lights still focused on the very young skeletal creatures in Dream's arms. "I... I can see why you'd want to protect them. I... I can't open portals, you know. And I'm not going to try to summon that treacherous, two-faced bastard. He'd probably force you to try to put them back in their own au... Despite the fact that you've clearly just rescued them from somewhere terrible because he doesn't like to interfere or some bullshit like that. But... I... Sure, I'll help you." There was a strange emotional flutter in the other's magic that Dream wasn't aware enough to identify, much as the positivity guardian tried to keep as in tune with his surroundings as possible.

"I know that... But I can - but you'd have to not attack me while I'm trying to summon up enough magic to do that, so I don't lose concentration." Dream explained, hope building in his chest. He had no idea how much time he had left before Nightmare showed up - it depended on how reluctant Killer was to talk to the fallen guardian. But he suspected that he didn't have much left.

"I... I wouldn't attack you, not when you're carrying helpless children. I've... Done a lot, for Nightmare. But I... That's a line I'm not going to cross." The monocrhomatic skeleton responded, nodding definitively as he stared at the tiny skele-pups.

Dream could sense a rising determination within the other, and despite the seriousness of the situation, he couldn't help but chuckle a little, commenting "Nice pun, Cross." If he were less tired, he might have tried to respond back, but he was already focusing on making a portal.

The other groaned, burying his face in his hands "I didn't do that on purpose! The others make way too many cracks about my name as it is! I'm just glad that none of the others heard me say that. Otherwise I'd never hear the end of it."

Dream smiled kindly at the younger skeleton before responding "I'm sorry to hear that the others tease you for your name, but again, tha-" His eye lights widened as he felt his magic rush out of him and fizzle. "No... Why... Why can't I open a portal? I.. I sh-should be able to... To do so..." He felt himself falling over again, Cross' arms wrapping around him as darkness started to envelop him.

The positive guardian heard Cross speaking, his voice apologetic, and the feelings in the other's magic and soul guilty and determined "I'm sorry... But I can't go against Boss. I need him to fix my timeline."

"But... You... You promised to help me..." Dream responded, a look of betrayal flashing across his eyes. He should have known better than to hope that one of Nightmare's people really would help him - but Cross had genuinely seemed intent on wanting to help the children... "But... Please... At least make sure that the children are safe, Cross. I don't... I don't know what he'll do to them."

"I... I'll try. That I am genuinely promising you. I don't know how much I'll actually be able to do." Cross promised, grabbing Dream as he stood up, the shorter skeleton's feet dangling a couple of inches in the air. "I've just gotten a text from Killer. Nightmare's expecting you."

Dream struggled against the other's grip, kicking the taller skeleton, but the violent movements caused more pain to course through the positivity guardian "No... No! I won't... Won't be captured without a fight..."

"You barely have enough energy to keep conscious, much less to actually fight me. You won't be able to escape, even if you manage to get away from me." Cross pointed out, his tone of voice almost sounding as if he was thinking that Dream was being unreasonable. "If you continue to fight like this, you'll wake up the kids - and you don't want to upset or distress them, do you?"

"A-As if the three of them being captured by Nightmare will be any better." Dream hissed, still struggling and fighting against the other as best as he could - kicking at Cross's knees, trying to get the other to fall over - or at least stumble, barring that. He also felt no shame whatsoever in shifting a little and biting one of the other's arms that was restraining, unaware at first that he was growling .

"Ouch! What the fuck?" Cross swore, startled that the other bit him - he hadn't thought that the guardian of positivity was one to do something like that "You bit me!... And you're growling." He was... Really surprised. He'd never seen the other in such a... Feral? State. He'd expect this sort of thing out of one of the Fells, but not Dream.

"You're trying to capture me, and it's one of the few ways I can fight back." Dream hissed. He needed to save every bit of what little magic he had left for the teleport out to a different AU, which was why he wasn't trying to use his magic on the other. The positive guardian was continuing to hold the sleeping skeletal puppies as gently as he could, not wanting to wake them up.

Cross yelped again as Dream continued to bite him and growl, teleporting into Nightmare's castle "Oww, fuck! Stop that!"

"{NO!}" Dream growled in Hands, unaware that he was doing so, his form shifting and cracking, warping and prompting pained whimpers from the frustrated guardian as he was forcefully turned back into Gaster blaster beast form, shrinking to half the size of the Sans-pup, who was ten inches snout to tail.

Cross cursed colorfully in shock, using his gravitational magic to hold all three of the small dog-things before they crashed to the floor. He scooped them up in his arms and headed straight to Nightmare., making sure to wrap all three of them up in Dream's cape, grabbing the stubborn guardian's crown just before it hit the ground as well. Not a single damn thing about this situation made a single bit of sense. Hopefully someone would explain. He felt three squirming lumps in the cape and murmured quietly in hands “{Settle down, would you? The kids won’t be hurt. That much, I did earnestly promise, Dream. As for what happens to you, that’s Nightmare’s decision, not mine.}”

[waitingforbb]

24 Wks, 3 Days

I’ve been experiencing some cramping lately. Today it’s more like a tightness across my belly that feels painful when I move a certain way, but other days it feels like menstrual cramps. Am not sure if that counts as early Braxton Hicks or not. It’s not too bad, just a little unsettling.

Bb is still very active. This week work-wise has been very busy and I wasn’t feel well today but tried to push through. I was working on a deadline and didn’t get up to pee right away. Bb kicked my bladder really hard and I peed myself a tiny bit, so that was fun!

I took Tylenol and Benadryl as soon as the project was turned in, started reading my book and fell asleep real fast.

Had a dream one of my very best friends was ill. Will never get used to how these dreams make me feel! They seem so tangible that when I wake up, it’s like my brain can’t comprehend it wasn’t real. And I panic momentarily until I realize what reality is.

Oh, also this morning I woke up really early because I accidentally rolled onto my belly in my sleep. It was really painful and jarring.

I miss sleeping on my belly!

Another OB appointment is coming up soon and I’ll have to do another glucose test. Need to cut back on sugar anyway. Been eating lots chocolate. Cookies and cream ice cream. So. Good.

I just realized I’ve been slacking on taking my BP, but it was normal every time I was taking it and I’ve been feeling okay. Will try to start up again tomorrow.

I thought I had my mom blocked on my phone but she called randomly today and I realized my error. Haven’t spoken to her in years now. I let it ring (she left no message, thank god), resumed the block, and have been trying to brush it off. But it’s hard.

Typical that my parents had all the time in the world to help fix our relationship when I was giving them second and third chances and pleading for family therapy before we started planning for Bb. But they wait until now to start poking around again. (My dad tried to initiate contact again recently - I reasserted my boundaries and I blocked him.)

It’s not worth it. I will always love them and miss the good things, but I have to focus on us. I can’t let this distract me. Bb and me and P are all I need to worry about.

[littlecrookedheart]

Hold Onto Me, Chapter 1

Pairing : Damien Nazario x Ryan Park

Rating : Mature. This is very suggestive but is NOT NSFW. There is no sexual activity in this, but it is mentioned and hinted at. Please read at your own discretion.

Time : 1.5 Years after the Eros business has ended.

Word Count : 4,015

Author’s Note : This is the beginning of a series I've been working on. I really hope you enjoy it! Please let me know if you'd like to see more. (I'm currently on part 4!) Also, I'm posting this on my phone so I apologize in advance for any weird formatting.

Disclaimer : I do not own these characters. I’ve added a bit of a flare to them for the sake of this piece, but they do not belong to me.

A cool breeze drifted through the buildings, all awake and bustling on this early September morning. Damien Nazario walked along the sidewalk, effortlessly dodging passerbys, his hands in the pockets of a warm black jacket. The wind whipped through his hair, messing up what ever neatness he'd worked toward before heading out. It was growing a little longer than usual, as was his stubble. He normally kept himself a bit more clean cut, but not totally, giving a little freedom to his locks. But now he had Ryan, who, for the past year and a half, had made it her mission to coax him into growing it. 'If anything,' she'd say, 'please grow the beard. Just a small one! I'm not asking for father time.' Truth was, he really liked it. The idea may have been born from her requests, but he'd keep it either way. It felt more him, which was exactly what he needed.

A year and a half after the adventure from hell had officially ended, and he still woke up in the middle of the night, calling her name in fear. These nights, though, she was always there. She'd always wrap her arms around him, allowing him to bury his face into her chest, running her fingers through his hair, humming to him gently. He'd always come back down within seconds of her reassurance, but she'd keep him there, close to her heart, relaxing his mind into a gentler rest. And every morning, he'd wake up refreshed, having had better dreams. Every morning, she'd kiss him and hold him, and neither of them would ever say a word about the nightmares.

He was working through them, seeing a therapist three times a week and keeping a journal. The dreams had gotten less intense, and less common, but still haunted him a few times per week. Therapy said that was normal.

Therapy also said that it would be normal for him to create barriers between himself and loved ones, and taught him a healthy way to try to prevent that, and an even healthier way to work through it when it did happen. It was always easier said than done, and it never felt normal.

She'd never say it, but he knew Ryan noticed his slight withdrawal from her. They'd gone from being magnetic toward each other to being hit and miss magnets, pulling one another in, but never at the same moments, always missing the mark by the smallest amount. Things had been lackluster for a couple of months.

Ryan never looked at him differently. She never even showed the slightest annoyance, only gratefulness, only hope, only love. Damien had known for years that she was all he wanted, that he'd do anything for her, and that he wanted to be in love with her for the rest of his life. He knew that they had that, he knew her love for him and saw it constantly in all of the ways she showed him, but despite all of it, this hiccup scared him to the core.

He wasn't sure how things spiraled so quickly. He could even think back to the middle of July, their bodies tangled within one another, unable to keep their hands and mouth away from each other. He knew that it was his doing, his shifting - that was creating a gap. He'd kiss her, and she'd return it, but the feeling would fizzle out, being replaced with thoughts he'd rather not have. She'd touch him, and he'd feel a surge of electricity in his body, the need to have her completely to himself. But then, as if by magic, the feeling would dissipate.

Instead of giving in to what they both needed, he'd focus on the darkness in the back of his head. He knew that was what was pulling him back, and from that realization he'd been working on it and through it, determined to mend it. Ryan had been staying with Hayden and Sloane for a couple of nights, a sleepover weekend that they'd planned for months. It gave Damien the space and time to prepare and gather his thoughts. He knew what he needed to do, and he knew he'd never stop trying until they were themselves together again.

He pulled out his phone to check the time before sending Ryan a message.

I'll be there in about 10 minutes

His phone chimed almost immediately.

Door is unlocked, cinnamon rolls are almost ready! See you then. 💕

He smiled to himself before putting his phone away, his mind drifting to her, and all of the words he wanted to say.

-------

"Yeah, that sounds ideal," Sloane softly spoke, holding her phone to her ear with one hand, the other scooping coffee into a French press. A sweet, autumnal fragrance of mocha and warmth was wafting through the halls. Hayden peered around the corner, their hair sticking up at wacky angles.

"Something smells amazing," they said, plopping into one of four breakfast stools at the counter island.

"Morning, bedhead," Ryan giggled, "I've got cinnamon rolls baking. Shouldn't be too long before they're finished." She tapped her phone, replying to a text from Damien, smiling to herself before sliding it back into her pocket.

Hayden's eyes lit up, a sweet smile across their face. "That sounds divine."

Sloane tapped her foot, still on the phone, repeating herself, "Yes, Auntie P, I think that'll be fine."

'What's up?' Hayden mouthed toward Ryan.

She slid into the seat beside them and whispered, "It's her aunt again. Her cousin's wedding is on Saturday and this is probably the fourth call this morning."

Hayden's eyes widened, accompanied by a roll and sigh. "How does she do it?"

Ryan shrugged, hopping up before pulling on two oven mitts and lifting the cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Hayden smiled as Ryan placed a fresh one onto a dish and slid it across the surface of the island. "You might want to wait a second, it's super hot."

Hayden and Ryan both noticed how much steam was rolling off of it, Ryan quietly laughing at herself before Hayden joked, "You don't say?"

Ryan swatted Hayden's shoulder with the oven mitt as she passed, handing a dish to Sloane, who was now pouring three mugs of coffee.

"Auntie P, I swear to you, I will do everything I can once I arrive, but until then, my hands are tied. I've already emailed the florist and caterer several times and they've asked me to relay that, yes, they do remember Shelly's wedding in five days, and yes, they do plan to be there with both floral arrangements and many servings of food." Sloane's tone grew agitated, as did her face.

Hayden walked over to her, pulling her into a one armed hug. "All is well. You can do this," they whispered, Sloane nodding in response.

"Auntie P, if you'd like me to call the venue, I have to get off of the phone with you, first." Sloane smacked her hand to her forehead. "Yep. Yes. I know. I've got it. Okay Auntie P, I'm going to hang up now, bye!" she touched the end call button and slid her phone across the counter, leaning on the surface with her elbows before resting her head in her hands. Hayden reached over, rubbing comforting circles on Sloane's back. "Remind me why I volunteered to help with this?" Sloane said, flatly.

"You're generous and kind and you want to help people," Ryan said, walking over to wrap Sloane in a hug. Hayden grabbed their cinnamon bun, gesturing for the two girls to follow them to the living room. Ryan slipped a large heat resistant pad beneath the pan of cinnamon rolls and set it down on the coffee table, sitting cross legged on the floor across from the couch where Hayden and Sloane were.

"Hey," she said, turning her head toward Sloane, "You've got this. Even if you don't, you've got the both of us, and we can help you."

"Plus, we're really fun, too. Not only do you have two of the world's best wing people to help you hit on formally dressed cuties at the wedding, you also have two of the most sleuthy cake smugglers in the game." Hayden laughed, throwing an arm around Sloane's shoulder.

"Oh, for sure!" Ryan said, serving herself a cinnamon roll. "First things first, always ganache. Make sure you get center pieces! Second, and arguably most importantly, it'll all work out."

"Yeah! You're right," Sloane said, "I hope so. This time I do actually know that I'm not the one over thinking this. As for that cake? I have a feeling it'll be just as extravagant as the rest of their lives." She smiled, sinking her teeth into the warm bun. "Also, this is delicious!" she exlaimed, pointing at her mouth. "So good!"

Ryan smiled. "It was my granna's recipe. She taught my dad, and he taught me. The secret ingredient is-"

The front door swings open, revealing a very rugged looking Damien, flipping a wave of hair out of his eye and smiling. "Let me guess," he closed the door and turned back to the three of them, "I'll take 'love,' for 500, Alex." He scooped a cinnamon bun into his hand and collapsed into a chair.

Ryan rolled her eyes, trying to hold back a smile. "Actually, it's vanilla."

Damien cocked his eyebrow. "So...basically the entire opposite of you?" Ryan playfully shoved him, puckering her lips. He smiled, pressing his lips to hers.

"Morning, by the way," Hayden laughed, giving Damien a small wave, which he reciprocated, mouth full of pastry.

"Jesus, this is delicious," he said, sounding muffled through his chewing. Ryan sat in his lap, slinging an arm around him and resting her head on his. He swallowed his bite, looking up at her.

For a second, Ryan caught her breath, taking in the details of Damien's face. She'd done this before, having memorized all of the emerald and tawny flecks in his dark eyes, and the fullness of his long lashes. Each time she got caught in his face like this, she could feel her eyes and heart well with emotion, unable to think about a single thing apart from how much she loved him.

She noticed every detail, like his eyebrows that were naturally well kempt, but the left one always had a few extra wonky hairs on the tapered edge. She loved those the most. Damien's stubble was growing in thicker than it had before, which she adored. She knew he'd done it for her, which made it all the more beautiful, and she loved the way it felt against her skin when he kissed her.

There were the faintest formations of smile crinkles at the edge of his eyes, and she thought to herself, If I ever give this man anything, I want it to be smile lines.

"Earth to Ryan," he said, redirecting her attention and gesturing toward Hayden.

"Sorry," she said, quietly, her mind obviously elsewhere. Hayden held out a dark gray, unmarked envelope. She took it and ran her finger under the seal, popping it open. "What's this?"

Hayden sat back on the couch, saying, "Remember that favor you asked me for?"

Ryan quickly stood to her feet, rushing to Sloane's room, leaving both Hayden and Damien in a whirlwind of confusion, and daresay curiosity.

Sloane was on the phone again when Ryan ran in, frantically closing the door behind her. "I'm going to go now, bye!" she exlaimed, pressing the end call button. "Should I ask?"

Ryan grinned. "Hayden gave me these right in front of Damien." She handed Sloane the envelope, resting her back against the door. "They're not really tame, so beware."

"Oh my god, Ryan. These are amazeballs!" She exlaimed, sorting through an arrangement of polaroids. In all of them, Ryan posed seductively, holding a birthday cake with candles reading '31.' Some of them pictured her wearing Damien's favorite jacket, her bare skin exposed underneath, others had her wearing lingerie. "He is going to die!"

"You really think?" She asked, sitting next to Sloane, reviewing them over her shoulder.

"Um, yes. Hayden really did a good job on these! Do you think I should do something like this? I don't have as much confidence as you do, but maybe this would help."

"You should be able to feel free and sexy! The cconfidence boost is really just a bonus. I think everyone should do these while they're young. One day, we'll look back and think about how hot we were."

"I think we still will be!" Sloane said, a big smile on her face.

"I hope you're right! I think we will be, too." Ryan took the photos, closing them within the envelope and stuffing it into a high place within Sloane's closet. "I really want his birthday to be the best he's had yet."

"It's next Thursday, right?" she asked, Ryan nodding in confirmation. "I'll help with anything you need!"

"Thanks, Sloane. What would I do without you?"

"Probably exactly the same things, but a little less fun."

"You've got me there. Definitely less fun."

Sloane's mouth curved to a small smile before she flopped backwards on her bed and pulled a pillow over her face.

"You okay?" Ryan asked, resting a hand reassuringly on Sloane's arm. Sloane slowly pulled the pillow from her face and adjusted her glasses, letting out a big sigh.

"I don't know how one person is supposed to do all of this planning," she said, "I feel like my head is going to pop off! I agreed to help because I love my cousin, but the rest of my family has been so negative. They just keep harping me, trying to change plans last minute, and making me feel confused about things I normally wouldn't feel confused about! It doesn't help that they're like, extremely rich. They have the highest expectations of anyone I've ever known. That's why I'm helping plan the wedding, they couldn't find someone they thought was good enough. But now they're acting like I'm not good enough, either." Her eyes welled with tears, but she quickly slid her hands under the frames of her glasses and wiped them away. "I just feel overwhelmed."

"You're perfectly justified for feeling that way! Weddings are supposed to be fun, not miserable. You were kind to offer to help your cousin, and your family needs to back off a little. Making you frazzled will only result in issues within the planning, which is the opposite of what they're going for. They have to realize that."

Sloane sat up, leaning her head into her hands and rubbing her temples.

"Even if they dont," Ryan continued, "they should. And they should also appreciate everything you've done and everything you're doing. I know I would." She wrapped her arms around Sloane, giving her a tight hug. "Don't let them get you down. If you feel lost, you have us," she said, putting her hands on Sloane's shoulders and looking at her face, "and we will never, ever treat you that way " she pulled her into another hug, rocking side to side. "You're one of my best friends. I will always be here for you."

Sloane grinned, her eyes still a bit misty. She laughed and crossed her arms over her chest, saying, "Thank you, Ryan. Honestly. I am really happy to know you! And thanks for staying over for the sleepover, I know Hayden loved it. So did I! I didn't mean to make it sound like only Hayden had fun. It was a blast!"

Ryan raised and eyebrow and giggled. "Sloane, you are the silliest person I know. I had fun too! I don't think I will ever pass up on a slumber party, no matter how old I am."

A quick, small knock came from Sloane's bedroom door before it opened slightly, Hayden peeking their head in.

"We're coming," Ryan said, pulling Sloane out of her seated position and onto her feet. "This one just needed a little pick me up."

Hayden entered the room, giving Sloane a hug, and they both made their way back into the living room. As if on cue, Sloane's phone started ringing. She excused herself with a sigh, this time Hayden following her out of the room. Ryan gathered the dishes from breakfast and set them on the counter, covering the remaining cinnamon rolls before setting them to the side. She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a hair tie, whipping her hair into a messy bun and rolling her sleeves up to start the dishes.

"So, did you have fun?" Damien asked, sidling up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. Her scent was hypnotic, an airy but dark floral aroma with hints of cinnamon. He started to contemplate how long it had been since he paid attention to how good she smelled, but pushed it away from his mind before it became daunting. He pressed a kiss just beneath her ear, his breath on her neck just as he pulled away. Her skin erupted in goosebumps as she rolled her neck to the side in reaction. Damien chuckled before placing his chin back where it had been.

"It was great," she said, her hands full of suds, "Hayden really hasn't done the traditional slumber party things, so we tried to do a little of everything...including prank calls. We watched a few movies, had popcorn, and basically just lounged around in various face masks and whatnot."

"Face masks? No wonder your skin is more radiant than usual today. You look a little extra beautiful."

"I'm not sure how much that has to do with those face masks, I think it might be a little extra happiness!"

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Are you asking me why I'm happy?"

"Yes, but mostly because I'm hoping to be on that list of reasons."

"You're a big one of those reasons," she said, feeling Damien's chin move as he smiled just before turning his head into her neck to leave another kiss. "You'd better stop that, mister."

"Mm? And what happens if I don't?" he taunted, a smile still across his face.

"Oh...you'll just have to see."

Damien deepened his kisses, running one hand up the side of Ryan's top, trailing it on her skin and resting it on her hips.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Ryan said, a mischievous smirk on her lips. She spun around, quickly wrapping her arms around him and looking into his eyes.

"You look naughty," he breathed, leaning in to kiss her. When they broke apart, Ryan devilishly grinned at him before plopping huge, drippy handfuls of soap onto his head. Damien jumped backwards, touching his now wet hair, covered in bubbles. He scooped them up and rubbed them on Ryan's chin, catching her in his arms before she could get away. He tickled her sides, her body writhing beneath his fingers. She slumped to the ground, trying to catch her breath, soap splotches down her outfit and on her face. Damien plopped down on the floor next to her, grabbing a towel from the counter on the way. He wiped the suds off of her face, handing her the towel to get the rest.

"How are you feeling now?" she giggled.

"Like maybe I need to learn your variations of naughty," Damien laughed, running his hands through his hair to brush out the rest of the bubbles.

"I couldn't help myself," she smiled, using the towel to dry Damien's damp hair. "You looked like you needed a bath!"

"Ha ha," he said sarcastically. "You know just < what I need." He winked at her. She smiled, but they were both silent for a moment.

"...You wouldn't have actually done that in our friends' kitchen, I know that much."

"You underestimate me, Ryan." He kissed her, deeply, longingly, his hand on the back of her neck. After a moment, he pulled away, leaving her speechless. "I've missed you." Her eyes met his, softly smiling before looking away.

She got to her feet, straightening her clothes. She grabbed a new towel from a nearby linen drawer and began drying the clean dishes. "I've missed you too," she said, quietly. "I didn't know how much until just then, though."

Damien stood up, taking the dry dishes from her and placing them in their cupboards. "What exactly did you miss?"

Ryan glanced sidelong at him, biting her lip. Before she could respond, Sloane reentered the room, setting her suitcase on top of the dining table and unzipping it. Damien cleared his throat.

“Is everything okay, Sloane?”

“Hm? Yes! Everything is fine. Thank you, Damien.” She said, not making eye contact.

“You sure?” Ryan asked, uncertainty across her face.

“Yeah! I’m sure. I just spoke to my cousin and she’s expecting me in town tonight.”

“I thought we were leaving in the morning and arriving tomorrow evening?” Damien said.

“Well….apparently someone bought me a ticket for a flight that leaves in an hour,” she said, frantically running between the hall closet and her suitcase, filling the inner pockets with extra toothpaste, floss, and other bits and bobs.

“Okay,” Ryan exclaimed, shutting the last of the cabinets, “are you okay to go alone? We can come with you for moral support.”

“Oh! I couldn’t ask that of you. You can just leave in the morning.”

Hayden came down the hall, a garment bag holding Sloane’s bridesmaids dress in hand. They set it on the table before saying, “Sloane, what I think Ryan meant to say is that we’re coming with you whether you like it or not, because we are your friends and you don’t exactly hide your stress.”

Sloane stopped and glanced at the three of them. “Is it that obvious?”

Damien nodded. “We care about you. So if that means we’re leaving tonight, I don’t think any of us are objecting.”

Sloane smiled. “Thanks, guys. This means a lot to me.” She immediately went back to frantically packing. Hayden sighed before gesturing toward their room to pack as well.

“We’ll see you guys soon,” Damien said, gathering Ryan’s bags.

“Yes! I will text you, Ryan.” Sloane yelled back as she ran down the hallway.

—-

Ryan unlocked the door to her apartment, stopping short as she noticed a bundle of wildflowers on the table in front of her. Damien set her bags down and closed the door, handing the bundle to her. He ran a hand through his hair. “I really did miss you.”

She looked around the space in her apartment, all of which was tidy, a light seasonal scent emitting from a nearby wax warmer. “Damien, this looks so nice. Thank you for this,” she said, turning to kiss him. Their lips met, both of them entranced with one another. Ryan’s hands instinctively moved to the buttons on Damien’s pants, but before she could take action, he broke the kiss.

“Ryan…we have an hour to pack and get to the airport. As much as I want to-”

She sighed, “I know. Let’s just pack.”

Damien turned away, rolling his eyes at himself. Two months ago, he would have done anything to have those moments with her. He would have cut it close on time, throwing punctuality out of the window. He wanted to, he just seemed to trip over himself these days, no matter how hard he kicked himself afterward. He wasn’t sure how to break away from this weird pattern. You love this woman. What is your problem?

Brushing it off, they both grabbed travel bags from under Ryan’s bed, folding clothes and filling them. Ryan had been thinking about the space between them, what seemed to have abruptly grown since the start of the month. How many times in just over two months did she fight back tears? In such a small amount of time, she felt like Damien had separated himself from her. What had she done differently? Maybe if I do more for him. Maybe if I try something new in bed. Maybe if I give him space. Nothing seemed to fit the mold.

For going on two years they’d had a marvelous experience learning each others desires and fulfilling them, having the best sex life that either of them had ever had. Not only that, they’d both found connections and love in deeper ways than ever before, probably more than they realized. The romance was there, the friendship was there - but there was no intimacy, and that didn’t speak for just sex. All of their moments seemed to be hit and miss. What if I’m over reacting? All she knew, at this point, was that whatever it took, she wasn’t giving up.

[mattness]

Space Dementia

And here we go again))  Jennifer Wright/Robert Grey Genres: Romance, Angst, Drama, Detective, Psychology, Hurt/comfort, Humdrum, Horror, AU, Friendship Summary: She thought she had found salvation in him, but she didn’t know she was at the mercy of a horrible monster who had own plans for her. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Chapter II. 2017, ten years later New York, Brooklyn "I congratulate you on graduating from our Columbia University!" finished oration, the Director and all the students leaped from their seats. Happy Jennifer Wright tightly clutched in the hands of the diploma, simultaneously managing to cuddle almost all the classmates. Ahead was a long way in life, and from the realization of this literally ran goosebumps. Her girlfriends, Tyra and Margo was screaming beside joy, offered to bring all the most crazy ideas into reality. There was a whole day of graduation, which the whole faculty wanted to celebrate smartly. To be remembered for a lifetime.

First of all, a large group of students went to a rented club, where they had fun, remembered funny stories and drank a lot. Jen tried to be away from the center of all this madness, because a large amount of attention to his own person she never could stand. With her were Tyra, and the dance floor was already Margo. Adjusting their white-and-pink hair, a friend looked at Jen:

"Why so sad?"

"Nothing." Jennifer waved away, picking up a glass of wine and draining it with one sip. "We're got the whole evening and the night. I don't want to get drunk right now."

"That's right", Tyra smiled, shoving her gently into her shoulder.

Loudly playing music did not allow the girl to focus on her own thoughts, and forever screaming friends next to maddening. Her head was already splitting, although the clock showed only eight in the evening. Jen madly wanted to leave because graduation of students of one of the most prestigious universities in the USA turned into some farce. For several times some guys from a parallel group clashed with each other, and turn didn't end in the toilet.

Jennifer, without telling anyone, went to get some fresh air on the roof of the club.

Dusk fell on new York, lights were on everywhere. The noise didn't abate, and listen to it was a lot better than monotonous music in the club. A mouthful of evening air refreshed the girl's head, which came to the railing and leaning on them, sighed heavily.

Lately in her life everything was going wrong, and now, after graduating from University, she hoped to work things out. She wanted to get a job as a journalist in the New York Times or Forbes, to write articles that would become famous throughout the country. Wright aspired to his dream and was sure to get the long-awaited place under the sun.

Thoughts about the good work was distracted by a faint squeak of the iron door. Girl turned around to see who disturbed her temporary rest. But she didn't see anyone. The front door to the roof only slightly opened. Apparently, from the wind, thought Jen and she continued to think the various lights of New York. Because of the persistent creaking of thoughts began to rush in my head, and she could not concentrate. She began to boil from anger on those who from huge number of felony drunken students decided to over her to play a joke.

Jen turned and resolutely walked to the door and closed with a loud thud slamming it.

Suddenly to her left, something fell with a wild metallic ringing, forcing her to flinch from surprise. Wright swore out loud and boldly went to identify the source of the noise. Turning the corner of the wall, the girl irritably rolled his eyes. A loving and, it seems, drunk couple tried to enjoy directly on the roof, apparently, believing, that this romantic.

"Couldn't you have found a better place?" Jen grumbled, deciding to return back to her friends.

Fortunately, their long search was not necessary: the girls are still sitting all behind the same table where Jen left them. They greeted her joyfully, making room. The brunette grinned, noticing that Margo and Tyra was already drunk. Glancing at his watch, Wright smiled. It wasn't even eleven o'clock yet. * * *  This night is beginning to seem too long for Jennifer, but, lucky for her, prom had been going on in the street. Students who were still able to stand on their own two feet, went for a walk in New York. Among the boys the girl and then looked at Roy Gordon. A tall and thin young man with beautiful big blue eyes immediately attracted Jen's attention. He was a new when they were in their third year, and pretty quickly became the most popular and coveted guy on campus. So Wright never expected, just quietly watched and did not dare to come to meet with him. For all time of study they practically never spoke. Right now the dark-haired girl very sorry about the heap of missed opportunities and continued to do it, knowing that tomorrow they would never see each other again. "Are you going to stare at your beloved and to do nothing?" just burst out laughing Margot, drinking champagne straight from the neck of the bottle. "Approach him, Jen." "What's the point of that?" girl is angry with snort. Graduates quickly went to the Central Park of New York.    "You don't even know each other. Who knows, maybe he'll like you today." Jennifer frowned, knowing what that meant words drunk Margo. But she didn't want to deal with Roy, didn't want to spend one, maybe a wonderful night with him. She's like a little girl hoping that one day he still will notice a gray mouse and he will come. However, this did not happen. Roy was changing girls like gloves, and that really pushed Jen away. She didn't want to have even a simple friendship, afraid to be one from a huge list of who wanted to sleep with Gordon. "I would have long asked him to leave with me somewhere", Tyra stepped in, with a sly smile. "So come on, Tyra!" Jennifer snapped, starting to lag behind everyone. No one's been in the Park. The lights were turned off, and the milky fog enveloped the deserted streets of New York. The noise of the city died down for a few hours. Residents of a huge metropolis could prevent sleep only everywhere walking students celebrating the end of the University. Above the artificial pond was a fog, ducks slowly floated on the water and enjoyed the silence of the night. Jen sat down on an empty bench, peering into the distance and pondering. The enthusiasm and joy had disappeared. There was only one desire - to return home and fall on a soft bed, falling into a deep sleep. After closing her eyes for a moment, Jennifer immediately turned the events of the past ten years in her head. She perfectly remembered, when the father, to save money, gladly told her that they're moving to Brooklyn. Changing schools and circle of friends has greatly affected the girl. She was liberated, became more sociable, and deep resentment at her mother, coupled with depression, quickly faded into the background. Jennifer had enough problems in high school. At the Brooklyn school Wright first fell in love. The guy she liked was two years older and played on the school football team. He also drew attention to her, but the relationship don't went any further. Jennifer long was upset, and then since forgotten. He wasn't worth it because he was too narcissistic and arrogant. There she made her best friend, with whom she entered the same University. Jennifer and Sophie were inseparable. Wright believed, that they will are close always, but have been proved wrong. Enrolling in different faculties, friend practically ceased to see each other. Their interests changed, and it became difficult to find a common topic of conversation. After the second year of University, Sophie never greeted or approached Jen again. This greatly hurt the brunette, and the desire to make friends fell to hell. Soon, however, appeared a little blonde Tyra with brown eyes. She quickly achieved a good location Jennifer, then acquainted with the red-haired beauty Margot. Jennifer no longer complained about the lack of friends as well as the lack of attention from the stronger sex. Wright grown up, the face stretched out, children's bulk disappeared. Black hair she was still cut when they have already started to grow below the shoulders. Freckles on the face no longer confused, but, on the contrary, became very lovely. Jen considered them his little feature. There was a quacking of ducks, and the girl got up from the bench, deciding to come closer to the water. Ducks continued to make noise, as if they did not like something. Several birds soared into the air and flew away in an unknown direction. From the other side of the artificial pond there was a loud laughter of students. Jennifer instantly realized that classmates seem to have walked the whole Park, while she was sitting here and thinking about his life.    "Jen, where do you gone?" Tyra range to her, tightly hugging her friend by the shoulders. "We thought you went home." "I wanted to do, but I already go back" smiled the girl, along with Tyra catching up with the others. The clock showed four in the morning. The sun slowly rose from the horizon, and the city gradually woke up. Again lights were lit, cars began to appear on streets. Students continued their walk on the waterfront, which opened a view of the big and old Brooklyn bridge. The wind pleasantly blew in the face, refreshing the head. Jen again smiled, watching classmates who decided to play some stupid game. They invited everyone to participate. Roy ran up to Jen, first carefully examining and only then offering to participate. She shook her head negatively, determined to watch from the side. "You and I would never meet each other before, huh?" cautiously asked his assistant guy, he was smiling Jen. "Were in the same group from the third year, Gordon", snorted Wright, with her hands on the railing that separated the promenade and down to the river. "Just not talked." "That's how," he pursed. "I don't even know your name." "Jennifer", quietly introduced herself to the girl and looked gray-blue eyes at the picturesque landscape. “Roy.” "I know", said more to herself than to him, Jennifer. They never spoke again. Guy went to to the rest of the guys, which already began to play. Meanwhile, Wright took a breath, feeling like his cheeks treacherously burned after such a short and silly conversation. Heart pounding, literally screaming that her feelings were still as strong as before. Jen hoped, that over time this will pass, given the fact, that more they never see each other. As soon as the clock stopped at five, classmates decided to go home, spending everyone who lived in Brooklyn. First out students living on campus, and ten of the remaining people continued to walk. It was Jen's turn when there were four students left. The girl said goodbye to everyone, hugged Margot and went into the house. She quickly took the Elevator to the fifteenth floor, quietly opened the door to the spacious apartment. Jen put the keys on the counter near the mirror and went to her room. Father still slept, as and all people in this time. Quietly opened a white door in room, she smiled: finally she homes! The bright room with soft turquoise wallpaper, which were covered with various posters, was illuminated by sunlight. Light penetrated through the window overlooking the embankment. Nearby stood a single bed, opposite is a large wardrobe with clothes and other things. The opposite wall a desk with a computer and bookshelves. Taking off her prom suit and leaving the cap on the floor, Jennifer quickly reduced the distance to the bed and fell on it, instantly falling into a deep sleep. * * *  A strange fear for their own lives engulfed Jen in a dream. She wandered through the endless corridors of the empty hospital, trying to find a way out. She was the only one here. The hospital didn't look abandoned, on the contrary, it seemed completely new. Except that the constant noises very much alarmed girl. An unpleasant feeling that she was being watched, did not leave her head. She constantly looked around, but no one around not was. The girl frowned and picked up the pace, starting to get nervous. Turning left, she found herself in front of the wide doors that led into another infinitely long corridor. There was an impression that it is some hospital labyrinth. Jennifer was trying to figure out what it all meant. However, nothing came to mind. Panic has gripped the mind, not giving focus. "Is anybody here?" Jen asked into the void, which echoed through the corridor.  In the next moment, the light went out and hospital turned into a sinister bloody shade of emergency lamps. The girl's heart began to beat a furious rhythm, and her legs rushed forward. Jennifer again turned to the nearest corner and was glad when he saw before him the main exit from the hospital. She took a breath and calmly walked to the door and pulled the handle. Closed. "Shit!" Jen cursed, combing her hair back with her hand. "How…" "You want to leave, Jenny?" someone's unnaturally high voice could be heard. The girl shuddered in horror, turning around. But behind there was no one. She immediately began to look for the companion who had suddenly appeared. "Maybe we play?" A dark figure appeared around the corner. Jennifer immediately looked closely. In red light nothing could be seen. The only thing that is clear — it was a tall, thin man, squaring his broad shoulders, put your hands behind your back. His face was hidden in the shadows. It seemed that darkness enveloped him and did not want to let go as long as he didn't want too. The girl nervously gulped and took a step towards the mysterious person. "Who are you?" "You'll find out soon”, she literally heard him smile. Jennifer frowned and turned back to the door, again pulling the handle. This time it was open. The girl pushed the door, and bright sunlight hit her right in the eye. Squinting her eyes, she looked for the last time at the corridor of the hospital, at the place where the shadow stood. But now was no one there. Shrugging and not giving this meeting irrelevant, Jen calmly walked on the street. * * *  Slowly opening her eyes, she tried to comprehend what she saw. Endless corridors, locked doors, red light and a meeting with a strange man, and did not show himself. Too weird. Hardly an explanation for this could be found in any dream book or on the Internet. What did all this mean? And was it worth this stupid vision to attach importance at all? Jen couldn't understand. Steps outside the door of the room immediately brought her out of thought. Dad woke up and was going to work. The girl rolled over and looked at the wall clock: the hands stopped at twelve day. Jen was embarrassed and got out of bed. She slept without hind legs for almost half a day, and her father was still at home. Usually at this time he was already in the restaurant and prepared a bunch of lunches for visitors. Dressed in home clothes and washed, Wright wandered into the kitchen, where came a pleasant aroma. The girl smelled brand breakfast from his father. She was right. Chester stood at the stove cooking a late breakfast for his daughter. "Hi, dad," Jen said, sitting down at the kitchen table. "Hi, sweetheart", he smiled to her, for a moment distracted from the stove. "How was it?" "Perfectly. And at the same time sucks. In general, doesn't matter," she smiled. Father burst out laughing and has placed before her a plate of food. Jennifer gladly breathed in the delicious aroma immediately took up a fork and starting to eat. Chester poured himself a coffee, sitting down opposite his daughter. "Why aren't you at work yet?" "I'm on the night shift today." The brunette looked up at her father, noticing how serious he was. He was too lost in his own thoughts. This alarmed Jennifer, who even put the fork aside.  "Dad?" He was instantly distracted from his thoughts and gave a strained smile to her. "What's wrong?" "Today the mail came," began the man, and Jen shrugged, not understanding the reason for his concern. "As usual there were newspapers and my magazines and... Another letter for you. From Derry." Chester got up from the table, for a couple of minutes hiding in the hallway of the apartment. He came back with a stack of newspapers in one hand and a letter in the other. Jennifer silently took the sealed envelope on the reverse side of which was familiar address grandmother of Christi. "I didn't open." Jen nodded, all knowing, and carefully opened the envelope, pulling out the white and neatly folded sheet of paper. She unfolded it, starting to read the contents of the text printed on the computer: "Good day, miss Wright. I am a notary who public and addressed by Your relative, Christine Wheeler. I inform you that Mrs. Wheeler has transferred all her property in Derry to your name. The testament can be seen in our office. Now, after her death (I'm sorry for your loss), You have every right to dispose of the property as you wish. I recommend that you immediately come to the city, contact me, otherwise after a while the right to dispose of the property we will give the real estate company of the city of Derry. Sincerely, Mr. D. Robinson "Notary services", Derry, Kansas street, 34" The girl, not believing her own eyes, gave the letter to father. She put her hand to her mouth, feeling hot tears running down her cheeks. It was impossible to believe. Just three weeks ago, Jen was talking to her grandmother on the phone, who was feeling fine, and now she found out about sudden death.  After reading the letter, Chester sat down beside daughter and took her hand. Girl quietly sobbed, nervously biting her lips. "Why hasn't anyone called us before?" asked Jen hoarsely, wiping her tears. "Just yesterday, Mary called me", the girl immediately looked up at father, who for the first time in so many years, mentioned the name of her mother. "She told me. She said the funeral was over, she saw the testament." "But why didn't you tell me? she frowned, indignant. "I didn't mean to ruin your prom, Jen." The girl sobbed loudly, covering face with her hands. "Jen, your mother doesn't mind you getting this house. Grandma would love to have you..." he sat down close and dropped his hands gently on his daughter's shuddering shoulders, trying to calm her down. Jennifer shrugged it off, not wanting to listen father. He sighed and silently continued to sit next to until she herself calmed down. "And how long she..?" "A week ago" quietly gasped Chester. "Jen, I understand that you not be easy, but you need to accept this fact. Be strong." The girl heaved a sigh and wiped her tears, knowing that the dad is right. "You decide how to dispose of this house." Tears came flooding down girl's cheeks and she immediately jumped up from his chair, ran to the bathroom. Chester weary squeezed fingers the bridge of his nose, not knowing, that to do: here he was absolutely powerless.

[winryofresembool]

Love Can Melt the Ice, ch 14

Aka EdWin ice skating AU continues.

Summary: Ed and Winry’s friends relentlessly teasing them x)

A/N: I don’t really know what I should say other than that this is just a silly little (or not so little, as it’s somehow the longest yet) chapter before the most important part. Getting back to sports again in the next chapter (I’m excited and frightened). Still a few more chapters left, stay tuned :3 Once again, please enjoy and Review!

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Next chapter: [x]

Words: 3100+ (what is life?)

Genre: cotton candy, humor in this chapter

Warnings: swearing, some suggestive themes (tried to keep it p clean tho. DON’T GET TOO EXCITED! It’s not what you think it is) 

The locker room was suddenly empty. Ed could have sworn his teammates had been there a moment ago, but now they were nowhere to be seen; not even Mustang, who was always the last to go, being the life of the room. Before he had time to start looking for them, though, Ed heard a door opening and saw a familiar blonde-haired young woman approaching him. She was wearing her usual outfit, jeans and a white hoodie with Amestris’ logo on it, and her hair was in its usual ponytail. Something still seemed different.

Winry was smiling in a way Ed didn’t remember seeing earlier. Warmth rushed all the way to his crotch when he wondered what it might mean, and he tried to quickly focus on something else, failing badly. How hadn’t he noticed earlier that she had the cutest lips, pink and soft looking, demanding to be kissed? And her eyes sparkled like two sapphires?

“Hi,” she greeted him a bit shyly, stopping in front of his locker.

“Hi. What are you doing here? I thought no outsiders were allowed inside?” Ed asked, still a bit distracted by his earlier thoughts.

“I don’t know about that.” She shrugged. “But I know no one was there to keep watch. As for why I’m here… I guess I just wanted to see you.” She blushed cutely and Ed had to resist the urge to kiss her then and there.

Suddenly the girl took the jersey Ed had left lying on the bench and put it on her.

“What do you think? Doesn’t it suit me?” she spun around in it and made a graceful curtsy when she stopped, reminding Ed of the move she had done when he first saw her at the Olympic venue.

“It… looks nice.” Ed resisted the urge to rub the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward.

“Thank you.” Winry smiled brightly and bowed down to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You look so cute when you blush.”

She poked his nose lightly and moved her mouth close to his ear, so she could whisper:

“Would you like to know what I look like when I wear nothing but this?”

“Winry!” Ed yelped in shock. Since when had she been so straightforward? They weren’t even dating (or that was at least what he kept telling himself), why did she suddenly act like that? He would have been lying, though, had he claimed a part of him didn’t enjoy this side of her.

“I… I think I wouldn’t mind that,” he added quietly when she kept staring at him, looking slightly disappointed. Her expression brightened, and she told him to wait for a moment before disappearing from his view…

But he never got to know what for, because a voice woke him up.

”Morning, sunshine.”

Ed slowly opened his eyes when he heard a female voice talking next to him. His heart rate suddenly jumped from 70 to 150 when he registered that he was sharing a bed with a woman. And not just any woman… the same woman who had just been very cute in his dream. He tried to remember if they had done anything other than talking and sighed of relief when he realized he still had his T-shirt and boxers on. Good. They probably hadn’t done anything. He couldn’t let himself get that out of control, although he had to admit it was getting harder and harder to deny he was damn attracted to her. His dreams were getting more intense as well, and he hated himself for it.

“Morning, gearhead,” he answered, rubbing his eyes before getting a better look at the person next to him. She was sitting on the other side of the bed, already wearing her day clothes (the very same hoodie and jeans as in the dream), ready to go to that meeting of hers she had mentioned the day before.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked nonchalantly while brushing her shining blonde hair. “I thought I’d wake you up before I leave but it turned out to be harder than I thought.”

“Yeah, I did… Actually, I don’t remember…”

“Remember what?”

Ed hesitated before answering, blushing slightly. “When was the last time I slept so well… I usually wake several times a night.”

“Oh. Well, I slept pretty well myself.” She didn’t add she had been even more reluctant than usual to get up when it was way more comfortable to rest there in his warmth, listening to his heartbeat and soft snores. Sure, her shoulder had been sore from sleeping in such position, but who cared? It had felt right, and she would be lying if she claimed she wouldn’t want to repeat this in the future.

The thought ‘you never know what might happen to you tomorrow’ had crossed her mind too many times after her parents’ accident, but waking up next to Ed, she realized she wasn’t scared of it anymore. She was looking forward to finding out even more about this mysterious man and spending more time with him. She only hoped he wouldn’t freak out if she admitted it out loud.

Thus she simply answered: “Good.”

There was an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say next. They knew they should talk about last night, about how this would affect their relationship… but it was so hard to bring up.

“So, I’ll probably be gone for a few hours, but would you like to get some lunch later today?” Winry finally asked.

“Al said he wants to hang out with me today, but you can of course join us later on if you don’t mind. We’re also gonna go to the game this evening.”

“Of course I don’t, he seems great! By the way, he told me some awesome stories about you yesterday.” Winry winked, letting Ed know exactly what kind of stories those were.

“That asshole! He’s gonna get his ass kicked today, you can trust me on that.”

“How do you plan to do that with a broken leg?” She asked innocently.

“Oh, ha, ha, are you taunting an injured man?”

“What if I am?”

Winry climbed on the bed and pushed him down to the laying position, sitting on his lap dangerously close to the area Ed was trying to avoid her seeing (a result of the dream he still hadn’t gotten in control).

“You are playing dangerous games, woman,” Ed growled, pretending to be annoyed.

“You think so?”

“Mhhhm”

“Well, I admit I can play!” she exclaimed and “attacked” Ed with her fingers. However, he wouldn’t have been Edward Elric if he hadn’t fought back as well as he could his hands finding her sides. Both of them tried to tickle the other, squirmed and laughed until finally got tired of the game. Winry rested her head against the crook of Ed’s neck for a moment, taking in the earthy scent. For some reason it felt very comforting, she admitted in her mind. Ed stroke her hair absentmindedly, smiling softly at the girl despite still feeling slightly uncomfortable. Just as Winry was rising for her spot, they heard the lock of the door making a ‘click’ sound.

“Winry, are you here?”

Gracia Goode wasn’t prepared to see what she found on Winry’s bed. What she saw was Winry kneeling on top of Ed, their hairs messy, clothes disheveled, cheeks blushed and eyes guilty when they turned to look at her.

“This… isn’t what it looks like!” Winry said immediately and stood up as fast as she could.

“Oh? Then what is it?” Gracia asked teasingly.

“Ed accidentally left her card key with his teammate Havoc last night so he spent the night here… you know, since you don’t sleep here,” Winry babbled faster than necessary, the red spots on her cheeks brightening with every word she uttered.

“And that’s clearly the reason why it’s necessary you guys were in the same bed, doing something that clearly looked like…”

“Um�� we… we were just having a tickling contest.” Winry mumbled.

“Besides, you came here without a warning,” Ed added, still upset about the interruption.

“Ed! You don’t have to be rude. Technically, this is her room too,” Winry scolded angrily.

“It’s OK,” Gracia shook her head, “Don’t worry Ed, I was just teasing you guys.” The playful smirk returned to her face soon, however. “You should have seen yourselves, though, you are just like I and Maes were a few years ago…”

The two youngsters groaned and hid their faces into their hands in embarrassment. Finally, Winry remembered to ask:

“Why did you come here in the first place? Did you forget something here?”

“Oh no, I just came to see you, thinking we’d go to the meeting together. Maybe get a chance to catch up, and stuff. You did remember about the meeting, right?” She eyed her messy look suspiciously.

“Of course I did!” Winry said defensively. “I know Garfiel would kill me if I missed it.”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, he’s completely smitten over you. I swear, when we are alone, he always praises you to the moon and back.”

“Oh? I didn’t know that. Uhm, guess I’ll brush my hair and… then we can go. Edward,” Winry turned to him seriously. “I don’t mind you staying here after I go but if I ever find out you’ve touched any of my stuff… you’ll regret it.” “Wouldn’t dream of doing anything like that!” he grinned innocently and earned a light punch on his shoulder. “What? I’m telling the truth!”

“OK, OK. I trust you.” Winry sighed and straightened her hoodie. “I’ll text you when I’m done with everything.”

“Great. Later!” he waved his hand lazily, settling back into Winry’s bed once he heard the door closing.

One part of him wished, the other part didn’t, that the earlier dream would return…

“Winry, your doctor just dropped in and said he wanted to make the final check-up before the big competition. How’s your foot feeling right now?” Garfiel asked when the women showed up at the arena where the rest of their figure skating team was already waiting.

“It’s much better now, I don’t really feel anything weird in it anymore,” Winry reassured him, making some moves with it to prove her point.

“That sounds very promising! If the doctor gives you a green light, you might even get to practice a bit before the short program.”

“Awesome! I can’t wait to get back to the ice,” Winry said with excitement. She felt a tiny twinge of guilt when she remembered that Ed wasn’t as lucky, but she had learned to read him well enough to know he wouldn’t want her to worry about him when she was about to compete in her biggest competition yet.

“Hey, how did things go with your little boyfriend last night?” Paninya asked when Garfiel left the room for a moment to get something.

“He’s still not my boyfriend, Pan, but I’d say the things are… progressing.” Winry’s face went adorably pink when she remembered the moments they shared in her room.

“What do you mean? Please tell me you guys have smooched already.”

“N-no, we haven’t! But I think there were a couple of moments when he was going to…”

“I think Maes needs to have a little talk with him. The boy slept in your bed and he still hasn’t kissed you?! Tsk tsk,” Gracia gave her input.

“Gracia! Like I said, it wasn’t what it looked like! He just… comforted me because I was upset about something and then we just sort of… fell asleep… in my bed… and we were just goofing around before you arrived… Gosh, that sounds so bad!”

“Winry, what have I missed?” Paninya asked immediately. “Why was he in your room?”

“Paninya, please, keep quiet! He was in my room because he had left his card key with one of his teammates and I wouldn’t just leave him there in the hallway.”

“But what if he had taken advantage of you or something?”

“He has a broken leg, do you think I wouldn’t be able to deal with him if it came down to it?” Winry pretended to be offended that her friend had so little faith in her. “Besides, he’s not like that… I trust him. He wouldn’t do anything like that. I was telling the truth earlier, he hasn’t even kissed me even though I’ve been giving him signs.”

“Is it just me or did you just sound upset when you said that final part?” Paninya continued her taunting. She hadn’t ever seen Winry this into someone and she wouldn’t waste the opportunity to tease her. Winry had done the same to her when she had had a huge crush on Rose but neither had dared to make the first move.

“Uh… don’t be ridiculous, Pan. I respect his choice and won’t rush him into anything.”

“You still want to get into his pants. Oh man, I hope he’s gonna make his first move soon because you look like you are going to explode from all the tension any minute now.”

“Can we please change the topic now?” Winry pleaded, raising her hand in the air in defeat.

“Give her a break, Pan,” Rose, the only person would get her quiet, finally said. “Hey, let’s talk about the Olympics instead. I overheard Mei Chang talking with a reporter the other day, she seemed really confident about winning a medal in the individual competition.”

“Huh, that little brat? Winry, you have to promise you’ll beat her, I can’t take another fourth place like in the team event… She beat our Gracia by only 0,1 points!”

“Paninya, you are over dramatic. I’ve talked to her a few times and she’s fine. Her team was simply better this time. As for the next competition… I’ll do my best. But so will you! I don’t understand why you all are raising me on the pedestal when you guys are just as good and have been able to train unlike me!”

“Pffft, you know you are better than us, there’s no need to pretend.”

“Nope.” Winry refused to accept Paninya’s compliments. “Repeat after me: I will do my best no matter what, and I will not compare myself to others.”

“Fine. I will do my best no matter what, and I will not compare myself to others. But you owe me now, you’ll have to tell me all the juicy details about Edward afterwards.”

“Pan!!!”

“Hey, Mustang, have you seen Havoc?” Ed asked when he and Al showed up in team Amestris’ locker room later that day.

“Think he’s loitering in the coffee room, he was just complaining about a huge headache or something.”

“Leave it for him to get shitdrunk a night before the important match…” Ed sighed. “If you guys are ever gonna throw me a party again, either don’t invite him, or at least make sure it’s not right before you’re supposed to play team Xing.”

“Duly noted. Although I seem to recall your preparation for some of your previous games wasn’t always the epitome of professional either.”

“Hey! At least they weren’t the Olympic games! I take this stuff seriously, Captain Bastard.”

“Chill out, Fullmetal. Why did you want to see Havoc anyway?”

“I left something with him last night…” Ed didn’t want to reveal anything about the night with Winry to him, but he should have known he wouldn’t get off with it so easily. Especially not with Al around.

“Brother, you’re hiding something. What did you leave with him?” the younger brother asked curiously.

“Just my card key!” The “just” in his sentence didn’t sound convincing at all.

“OK? But… how did you get into your room then?” Al asked.

Ed cursed himself for not making up a story about the hotel receptionist giving him a spare one or anything like that. Now it was too late to do that. Al could see right through him. Besides, Gracia knew, and if Gracia knew, it meant also…

“Yo, Edward! I heard you had some lady company last night!”

Ed swore that the stitches in his leg were ripped open in that moment simply from the shock. Maes looked extremely happy, Roy looked like he was about to burst any minute now, and Al was having that mischievous smile of his that never knew anything good.

“Gracia told you?” Ed mumbled through his hands, trying to cover his embarrassed face.

“You have a good taste Ed, figure skaters are fantastic in…”

“STOP! I don’t want to hear any more!” Ed yelled before Maes managed to finish his sentence.

“Wait a second…” Roy finally found his voice. “Did I understand correctly that you spent a night with the lovely Ms. Rockbell?”

“So what if I did? How many times do I need to tell you it’s none of your fucking business, Mustang?”

“And how many times do I need to tell you to watch your language, Edward?”

Al finally saw his chance to participate in the discussion: “Brother, I didn’t think you’d have it in you. Congratulations! One question, though: how the hell did you woo her?”

“I didn’t ‘woo’ her, we didn’t do anything!”

“Just when I thought you had gained some balls… Disappointing, Fullmetal.” Roy shook his head.

“Ugh, can I explain what happened? We were getting into our own rooms when I noticed I was missing my key. I had forgotten it with Havoc who had used it earlier to get my crutches. I knew there was no way I could have contacted him at that time, so Winry suggested I sleep in the extra bed in her room since Gracia doesn’t use it.”

“Bleh, I don’t believe that’s all there is to it. You did get into her bed, didn’t you?”

“And why the fuck does this interest all of you?”

Ed seemed to be very close to throw his crutches to the closest person’s head so Roy decided to calm the situation down.

“I’m gonna be honest, for once, Ed. I really don’t want to hear what happened between you and Winry. It’s just too much fun to see you that flustered. But believe it or not, I am happy that you are making progress with her because I’ve seen her make you smile during this short time more than you have smiled in probably ten years. Tell her my regards to keep on doing whatever she’s doing with you.”

“What’s going on here? Why is everyone being so loud?” Havoc entered the room, still holding a bag of ice on his head.

“Look, it’s our hero, Jean Havoc, whom we can thank for Edward’s latest adventure.” Hughes laughed.

“Huh?” the blonde-haired man asked in confusion, having not heard about what had happened to Ed yet.

“Edward spent a night with a lady friend thanks to you having his key.”

Havoc burst out laughing and only stopped to say:

“That almost makes this headache worth it!”

[killjoy-loveit]

Intruder

A/N: This is my first time posting something in this genre, so if it sucks, I apologize. I’ve decided this will be a ten part story! It is also in 1st POV as that’s my comfort zone when it comes to writing. It’s a Mafia AU. I would also like to clarify that everything written in this story is complete fiction. 

Summary for Part One: A masked intruder makes an appearance in Mira’s apartment.

Word Count: 1,415

P. 2 Link | P. 3 Link | P. 4 Link | P. 5 Link | P. 6 Link | P. 7 Link | P. 8 Link

P. 9 Link | P. 10 (FINAL) Link

     It was dark. That much I was aware of, oh, that and I was pissed off because it was dark. The power had just gone out while I was in the middle of writing an extremely important paper for my ancient history course. With a huff, I turned my phone’s flashlight mode on to find the candles that I had, as well as my lighter. Recently, I’ve started collecting candles, not intentionally though. Just more like I never want to run out of one specific candle because I use it quite often, so I pick up another to add to the rotation.

     A loud burst of thunder booms through the apartment causing my foot to jerk and smack against the cabinet in my kitchen. I yelp and almost drop my phone, scrambling to catch it at the last moment before it hits the floor. An exasperated sigh leaves my mouth, first the power shuts off, now I’ve probably bruised my foot. Could this day get any worse?

     Fast forward a few minutes later and I have about ten of my candles spread out in the living room, all lit up. There were just enough to create a dim yellow haze of light. Walking over to the small plywood and metal bookshelf I had, I pulled out one of my favorite books. It was obvious it had been read multiple times just by glancing at it, the cover was faded and the binding was almost to the point of falling apart. Sure, the book itself may be slightly below my reading skillset, but I read it so many times for the message.

     The messages for some of the most basic books can be the most profound. This particular book’s message, at least from my interpretation of it, was that sometimes, all you need to do is listen. Sometime’s there’s no need to fill the silence with endless chatter or continually offer your own opinion, that sometimes it’s important to just listen. 

     A contented sigh left me as I settled on the couch to read the book, which would be slightly difficult considering the light I had, but at least it would be kind of relaxing. For the next thirty minutes I was wholly invested in my book, even though I knew every detail by heart, just reliving the book and the memories I’ve associated with it. After that I became slightly distracted, fighting off the urge to go grab a bag of chips to chomp on while reading. I mean, my copy of this book was already so worn out,  it didn’t need grease stains on it from chips as well. But alas, my hunger got the better of me and I made my way to the kitchen to grab chips from my pantry.

     As I stood there, debating on which bag of chips I should get, another round of thunder boomed throughout the apartment. Shortly after it was followed by lightening that lit up the entire kitchen. And just as it struck, I looked up at the window above the sink and saw my figure joined by another in it. With wide eyes and a shriek caught in my throat, I jumped around to confront the figure I’d seen in the window.

     There he stood, calm as a lake on a day with no breeze, like he hadn’t just been caught trespassing into someone else’s home. The top half of his face was covered by a dark mask that ended just below his nose, and it only had two openings for his eyes. Quickly, I backed up, my body hitting the counter faster than I thought I would, and I held a hand out in front of me, as if that would somehow stop hime from coming closer. Trembling, I reached my other hand out to try and find some sort of weapon. As soon as I felt cool metal hit my palm I grabbed it and held it in front of me, and then I looked at it. I was wielding a giant soup spoon... That wasn’t going to help me much.

     Silently, he seemed to be observing me, he didn’t move an inch. I took this time to assess his appearance. He had dark hair, that oddly looked really soft, and dark mysterious eyes. His lips were full and while his jaw wasn’t round, it wasn’t exactly square. The man that stood before me was wearing a dark leather jacket that nearly hid the navy shirt underneath it, a pair of gray skinny jeans and dark combat boots. Everything about his appearance screamed danger, alerting me of the trouble I was in.

     “W-why are... How did you get in here?” I demanded, trying to play off the stutter I started with.

     His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, as if that wasn’t what he expected me to say. “You need to find a better place for your spare key.” He murmured softly, keeping his place a few feet from me.

     “Why are you here?” I asked softly. This seemed to surprise him, as his eyes widened at my question.

     “Why does that matter?”

     “Obviously you have a reason, or you wouldn’t have looked around for my spare key.”

     The more I stood there arguing with this stranger, this intruder, the more my fear seemed to fade and an odd sense of familiarity settled over me. His voice and his mannerisms seemed so familiar and yet I couldn’t place them. And after arguing with him for close to ten minutes about what he was doing in my apartment, I was no longer afraid of him, I was mad at him. I was furious that he thought he had the right to barge into my apartment with no apparent reason, and not explain himself.

     Once again, thunder rang through the apartment, but because I’d forgotten about the storm due to my argument with the intruder, it spooked me. It made me jump forward, sending my hand that was wielding the soup spoon out and smack him in the jaw. When I realized what had happened, I was shocked. I stood back with my jaw dropped and eyes wide as he reached up to feel his jaw, which was already bruising from the force of my inadvertent hit. As his eyes landed on me I quickly snapped my mouth shut and chewed on the inside of my cheek.

     “I-I’m sorry, truly. I didn’t mean to, I just got shocked by the thunder. I swear! I’ve always been jumpy and kind of a klutz, you can ask anybody I’ve ever interacted with. I’ve probably accidentally hurt each person I’ve met--”

     “It’s fine.” He rumbled, cutting me off mid-sentence, or rather, mid-ramble.

     Then it hit me how odd it was for me to apologize for accidentally hitting the person who’d basically broke into my apartment. I huffed and crossed my arms, scrunching my nose up.

     “What?” He asked, looking at me with quizzical eyes.

     “I wouldn’t have accidentally hit you if you hadn’t decided to break in--”

     “Used a key, so technically I didn’t break in.” He cut me off brazenly.

     “Whatever! You wouldn’t have gotten hit if you hadn’t decided to trespass onto my property in the first place. So, using your words, technically this isn’t my fault.” I say, motioning to his jaw.

     This led to another argument, which after a while calmed down a bit. I was still a little suspicious of him, but he was very goof with his words and he kept distracting me, pulling my focus from the topic on-hand. Eventually we ended up in my living room having a very serious debate about the current power outage. This debate went nowhere though, and the topic was quickly changed before I could refocus on why he was in my apartment in the first place. His distractions worked, and before I knew it I was out like a light.

     When I woke up I was tucked into my bed, light shining through my small bedroom window. I shook my head as I recalled the previous nights events. There’s no way that happened, right? And I would have firmly believed that it was all just a dream, if it weren’t for the note sitting on my nightstand.

     You might want to think of a new location for your spare key, Mira. ;) -D

     Last night definitely wasn’t a dream. But why did he come in the first place?

[padfootagain]

Heroes (I)

Part 1 : Real Dreams

I'm sorry. But I'm too obsessed with this show. I can't help it. So here we go, I'm writing for Steve Harrington too from now on. Feel free to send me requests for this character and to ask to be added to his tag list.

This is a little AU, but if you've read a few of my writings you might have noticed that I don't really care about being AU as long as I'm not out of character… I hope you all like it anyway.

As it's my first time at writing for Steve Harrington, I hope it's going to be good. Tell me what you think about it and don't hesitate to tell me if you think that I should change some things about his characterization.

I hope you all like this. This should be a two-parts series, unless you want me to make it longer… I'll post the two parts in a row.

Gif not mine.

Word Count : 3635

You walked out of Hawkins Laboratory. Again. The meetings occured more and more often, as your crisis were more frequent as well these days.

You kicked a stone in frustration, struggling not to shout your lungs out.

No one in this bloody lab believed you.

Since you had managed to escape from the Upside Down a year ago with the help of Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper, you didn't feel fully like yourself. You felt like a part of you was still trapped there…

Just like Will, you had been dragged in this other world that existed next to yours, but unlike Barbara, you had managed to survive. Running blindly through the forest to escape this monster that had captured you, you had fallen upon Will as he hid in his house, and the two of you had tried to survive together from then.

What had happened in the real world while you were trying to survive in this parallel universe had been told to you after you were rescued. The search for Will. The search for you. Nancy and Steve breaking up quickly as he spent all his energy looking for you, and she tried to figure out where Barbara was. Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper walking in the Upside Down to get you and Will back. You felt grateful for such efforts to rescue you, but all you had left from this part of your life was fear and trauma.

And actually… you were certain that it was more than trauma. It felt tangible. When you had these crisis of yours, the world around you suddenly switched from bright and full of life to dark and filled with death. Suddenly, you were not at Hawkins anymore, you were back in this world you tried to run away from. It happened without real reasons. Suddenly you were not there anymore. Suddenly you were back in that giant tomb. And you didn't know how to get out of it.

Dr Owens and his team thought that you were just suffering of a severe form of post-traumatic stress that caused hallucinations that were so vivid that you got confused and took them for reality. But you knew it was more than that. No matter what this bunch of scientists kept on saying, you knew that there was something more to it. The clues were there, obvious, relevant, but somehow, they all chose to ignore those signs.

Will had the same type of crisis, sometimes at the same time as you. And when it happened simultaneously for the two of you, you could see him in the Upside Down. You could talk to him, touch him, he was there, tangible. And he felt the exact same as you. There were all the feelings you felt as well during these crisis. They were strong, real. You could touch things, you could grab things… Your nights were also punctuated by terrifying nightmares, but they felt different. They were vivid, yes, violent for most of them, but they were more… blur as well. Some bits were missing, they were not completely coherent, some pieces didn't fit. But your crisis were flawless. Every one of your actions led to a logical reaction, there was no hole in the events that occurred then. And you couldn't imagine that some things like hallucinations could be so logical.

But no one believed you. Except for Joyce Byers, who was too much worried about her son to ignore the worst theories. And your boyfriend, who trusted you enough to believe whatever you said.

You walked towards the large gate of the lab, the sun warm on your skin despite the cold air, but you couldn't feel the warmth. You were too worried to focus on anything. You didn't even see the road your feet were striding upon, you just let yourself being carried out of the lab out of habits.

You finally were dragged out of your thoughts as you arrived before the metallic gate, and waited for the security guard to open it for you. Down the road, Steve was waiting for you in his car. He waved at you, a warm smile on his lips. You smiled back at him, feeling a bit less desperate at the sight of him.

The two of you had been best friends for years, but your disappearance a year before had shaken something into him. He had changed as a person, growing out of adolescence and leaving his kind of stupid behaviour behind to turn into a more responsible person. But that was not the only change caused by your vanishing. He had suddenly realized that you were more than a friend to him.

Perhaps it was because you had always been here, because it was just that his mind had never dared to imagine such a terrifying thing, but he had never thought that he could ever lose you during all these years of friendship. To him, you were a safe place he knew he could always go to. But then you disappeared, you almost died, and he realized that nothing lasted forever. He woke up from what he now called 'his shithead time' and suddenly realized that he never wanted to lose you again.

If your disappearance woke up his feelings for you, he was careful not to hurry, and you were grateful for the kind gesture. He waited a few more months before confessing his true feelings, waiting for your life to find back a more normal rhythm, waiting for the trauma to partially subside and for your smiles to shine more brightly again. He reckoned that you had enough troubles to deal with before that, you didn't need your best friend to suddenly confess his love for you on top of all that you had been through.

But Steve being by your side had helped you a lot to deal with the trauma. After all, he had fought the Demogorgon, he knew what had really happened to you. It felt so good to be with someone who understood what you had been through, for a part at least.

You climbed inside his car, sitting down on the passenger seat, and you let out a heavy sigh.

"That terrible?" Steve asked with an amused smile and a quirked eyebrow.

"Yeah… useless, as usual."

He nodded slowly, starting the car, and slowly driving towards the town.

"They don't believe you, huh?" he asked, looking at you for a few seconds, before focusing on the road again.

You shook your head.

"They say it's post-traumatic stress. And that… as it's been almost a year, the anniversary coming closer and closer enhances my symptoms. But I know that there's more to it."

He nodded, before reaching for your hand.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked softly.

You could feel your heart swollen with gratefulness. You knew he meant it. He wanted to help. But you also knew that he couldn't.

"I don't think so," you gave him a sad smile. "But you're here, and that's enough to help me feeling better."

He smiled, one of his hand tightly wrapped around your fingers while the other rested loosely onto the wheel.

"What about the kid?" he asked.

"He wasn't there today."

"It's strange that you both have the same… visions."

"I'm pretty sure that we've never been really brought back here. That we're still… connected to that place somehow."

He let out a heavy breath, clearly thinking hard. But there was nothing he could do, he could see no solution to help you escape this damned place.

"Next time you have one of those crisis of yours, if I'm around, you call for me, okay? Because… perhaps I can help you snap out of it, you know?"

You slowly nodded.

"Okay, I will."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Do you feel like going to school today? Or we could… not go there," he proposed.

You rolled your eyes.

"Don’t use me as an alibi to miss class."

"Hey! I just want to help here!"

"I can go to school. On the contrary. It'll keep my head busy."

"Sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"I'll probably get out of basketball late tonight," he said. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll wait for you," you nodded. "Is Hargrove still giving you a hard time?"

Steve shrugged, but you knew better.

"You don't like that guy," you added.

"He has his eyes on you. So no, I don't like him."

You smiled as Steve parked the car before the school. It was almost time for your first class to begin, but you didn't mind arriving a bit late. You wanted to stay with Steve for a bit longer.

You lifted your hand to his cheek, and he turned to you again, as the sound of the engines died out.

"I'm not interested. I already have a boyfriend."

He smiled.

"And a very good one!"

You laughed.

"Now… don't get ahead of yourself, Harrington!"

He chuckled.

"Should I feel worried then?" he joked.

But you shook your head, unfastening your seatbelt so you could lean towards him.

"I love you, you idiot."

He smiled.

"I love you too, you reckless arse."

But instead of kissing you, he frowned slightly, staring right at you. And his voice sounded like he was making a promise he intended never to break.

"I won't let anything take you away from me again, Y/N."

You leaned further and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I know. I'm counting on it," you smiled. "And I intend to keep you all for myself too."

You both chuckled.

"I knew you were possessive," he joked, making you giggle.

He brushed a lock of your hair away from your face, his gaze gentle as it rested on your eyes again.

"Just… don't leave me again. Deal, Y/L/N?"

"Deal, Harrington."

This time, he was the one to capture your lips in a loving kiss.

And you both definitely arrived late to your first class…

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It was strange to walk through a deserted High School. It was late already, and classes were all over. Only a few boys were left, playing basketball in the gymnasium. Steve was one of them. You had waited for him, watching the game, and raging against Hargrove again. Now though, you were left alone, pacing up and down the corridor next to the gymnasium, waiting for Steve to get a shower and take you home.

You hummed softly to yourself, the sound of your voice echoing in the empty corridor. Your footsteps sounded louder than usual as well, the only movements disturbing the silence. You heaved a sigh, hoping that Steve would soon be here.

Above your head the neon lights faltered for a second.

You looked down at your watch.

But you didn't read the time.

Your eyes grew round as the lights above you went out altogether, leaving you in a dark world filled with cotton like particles that got caught in your hair like snowflakes. You recognized this oppressive feeling over your chest, as if it was suddenly harder for you to breathe. The air burnt your lungs, you recognized the poisoned atmosphere.

And when you looked up again, everything was covered with grey and shadows, dark plants covering the walls.

You were back in Hell…

You took a few deep breaths, trying to slow down your heart that was now rushing with fear.

You gathered enough air in your lungs to shout as loudly as you could.

"STEVE!"

You fell silent, listening closely to the sounds around you. But the world was silent.

"STEVE!"

Again you were met by nothing but the echoes of your own voice and a heavy silence.

"STEVE!"

Nothing.

You closed your eyes tightly until your eyelids turned white. Perhaps if you shut your eyes tightly enough, it would all disappear, as if you woke up from a nightmare.

But when you lifted your eyelids once more, it was to see the long plants growing on the walls of your school.

And Steve was not here.

You felt tears stinging your eyes and blurring your sight. Your heart was pounding but you couldn't slow it down. You were too scared for that.

You were trapped once more, and you didn't know how to escape…

 ------------------------------------------------------------

 Steve ran out of the shower. He ignored the two other boys who laughed at him for hurrying to his girlfriend as he charged through the changing room, grabbing his shirt and struggling to put his trousers on despite his hurry. You shouted his name a second time, and he pushed the door open, hurrying in the corridor.

"Y/N!" he called, running to you.

He stopped right before you, still wet from the shower, traces of shampoo lingering in his messy hair, his shirt still in his hand for now.

Tommy and Hargrove walked out of the changing room too, still laughing. They were both shirtless as well, and were drying their hair with white towels.

"What's with your girlfriend, Steve? Getting mental again?" Tommy laughed.

But the look Steve threw at him made his laugh die in his throat.

"Don't you dare, Tommy," Steve warned him.

He turned to you again, as you shouted his name again. You seemed completely panicked.

"Y/N! I'm right here!" he said.

He waved his hand before your eyes, but you didn't follow his movement, staring through him as if… as if you couldn't see him…

"Oh fuck…" he breathed.

Finally, their coach walked into the corridor.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"You have to call for Hopper!" Steve urged his teacher.

"What?!"

"Y/N is not well, she needs help. Call for Hopper. Ask specifically for Hopper. Tell him that she's having a crisis, he'll understand."

"I'm sure a bit of fresh air will be enough and we do not need to call the chief of the police dep…"

"DO IT!" Steve roared.

He was shaking from head to toe by now. He knew you were stuck in this world all over again, and he didn't know how to help you.

"Just do it! She's been like this before. Trust me, it's serious!" he told his teacher, who mumbled something under his breath, but walked to reach the phone anyway.

"No need to linger here, boys," he told Hargrove and Tommy before disappearing in search of the phone, but the two adolescents didn't move an inch.

Steve turned to you once more. He saw you closing tightly your eyes, and when you opened them again, they were filled with tears.

"Y/N… babe, come on… Can you hear me?" he asked.

He raised his hand to touch your arm, but was interrupted as Will Byers stormed into the corridor, calling for you.

You turned towards the child, frowning hard.

"Will!" you breathed, bending to hold him in your arms.

"It's happening again!" the boy breathed, his voice shaking with panic and fear filling his eyes.

"What the hell is happening?" Billy Hargrove asked, an amused smile on his lips before the show.

"I know, buddy," you tried to reassure him, stroking soothingly his hair and holding him close to you. "I know. But it's gonna be okay. I'm here."

"Hey! Y/N!" Steve raised his voice, trying to get you out of your trance.

The sound of children's voices reached the little group, and Steve was not surprised to find Lucas, Dustin and Mike hurrying towards them. He heaved a sigh, rubbing the edge of his nose. As if he didn't have enough on his plate already…

"Steve!?" Dustin called, struggling to catch his breath, as his friends and him had clearly been running to the gymnasium, following Will. "Why are you… not wearing a shirt?"

"I was taking a shower," Steve explained.

"Why do you have shampoo in your hair?" Lucas asked as well.

"Weren't you listening? I was taking a shower."

"Yeah but…"

"I was taking a shower, but Y/N called for me. So I didn't finish to wash my hair and tried to help her instead!"

He looked at you and Will again.

"They're having a crisis again, right?" Mike asked softly, looking up at Steve with worry painted all over his features.

Steve nodded.

"Yeah, looks like it. I've asked a teacher to call for Hopper. Hopefully, he'll know what to do."

"But if it's some kind of… hallucination… can't we just… wake them up? Like… from a nightmare?" Lucas asked.

"What do you think I've been trying to do since she called, smartass?" Steve asked back.

"Have you tried to shake them?" Dustin asked.

He didn't wait for an answer and grabbed you with one hand and Will with the other, and tried to shake the two of you. But somehow, he couldn't move any of you at all.

"What the hell?!" he cursed, letting go.

"Y/N keeps on saying that it's not just post-traumatic stress," Steve breathed. "That she's still… there."

Steve and the three children exchanged worried glances. Behind them, Tommy and Hargrove were starting to get annoyed.

"I don't know what kind of scene you all are trying to make, but it's boring, King Steve," Hargrove yawned, walking away, closely followed by Tommy.

Steve exhaled loudly, but didn't reply. You needed him now, he would deal with Billy Hargrove later. For now, he finally put his shirt on, before resting his hand on your shoulder.

"Babe, can you hear me? You have to come back now," he said soflty, shaking you gently, like he would do to wake you up when you overslept and needed to go to school.

But you didn't answer him, you shook your head instead, answering to Will.

"Yeah well… Out of the question. This place sucks. I'm not setting a foot there ever again."

The little boy in your arms smiled at the joke.

"It's gonna be okay," you reassured him.

"The party was with me," Will said. "Do you think they followed me?"

"Not here," you shook your head again.

"Do you think that they will find something to bring us back?"

You nodded.

"I was with Steve. He's… they're all going to find out something. Like the first time."

Steve felt tears wetting his eyes, and he shook you a bit more violently, becoming frantic with all this frustration that made his blood boil.

"Y/N! I'm right here! Wake up! BABY!"

You frowned slightly, and seemed to turn towards him. You narrowed your eyes, as if your eyes searched for his.

"Y/N, can you hear me?" he asked again.

You narrowed your eyes even more, but didn't seem to distinguish anything…

But then he felt you tensing under his touch. In your arms, Will turned around, horror covering his face, his eyes wide with fear.

And when your gaze followed Will's, Steve read the same horror in your gaze…

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "It's happening again!"

"I know, buddy. I know. But it's gonna be okay. I'm here."

You held the boy tightly in your arms. You tried to make your voice sound reassuring, but you were shaking with fear from head to toe. Steve had not answered your call, and it was just one more proof that you were right. You had been right all along.

This was real.

It wasn't simply a dream, and yet, you knew somehow that you were still connected to Hawkins. Perhaps it was not completely reality either. Perhaps it was something in the middle…

… like a real dream…

"What do we do, Y/N?" Will asked, trembling in your arms.

"I… I'm thinking," you cleared your throat to fight the lump that was starting to form there. "I'm thinking of a plan, buddy. Give me a minute."

"Dr… Dr Owens says it's in our heads."

But you shook your head.

"No, Will. I don't think it's just an illusion."

"Bob… said that it was just like a nightmare. And we had to force it to go away."

"I don't think it's that easy. I think there's something more."

"Like… As if it wanted us back?"

You nodded slowly.

"Yeah well… Out of the question. This place sucks. I'm not setting a foot there ever again."

Will gave you a weak smile.

"It's gonna be okay," you reassured him.

"The party was with me. Do you think they followed me?"

"Not here," you shook your head again.

"Do you think that they will find something to bring us back?"

This time, you nodded.

"I was with Steve. He's… they're all going to find out something. Like the first time."

But then, a hushed sound reached your ear. It wasn't something frightening though, more… like a whisper. Or more precisely, as if someone far away was shouting, and all you could catch was a whisper. It wasn't loud enough for you to understand the words that were spoken, but you were not afraid of it. It was reassuring, on the contrary. You turned towards the source of the noise, but could only see a wall. You tried to narrow your eyes, but there was nothing.

The whisper came back, but again, you couldn't understand, you tried to narrow your eyes even more, focusing hard.

But another sound echoed through the corridor, and this one made your freeze. You felt every single one of your muscles tensing, a shiver running down your spine.

You looked down the corridor, knowing Will was looking in that direction as well.

You saw the monster slowly walking through the empty space. It didn't seem to have noticed you yet. It looked like the Demogorgon, but instead of standing like a man, it was walking on all fourth like a dog. You could recognize the same faceless head though, the large mouth opening in four pieces and ready to swallow anything.

And then, the beast turned towards you…

 *****************************

Tag list : @ponycake27 @mxrihollxnd @horsesreign

[winchester-sisters-imagines]

Meltdowns

Pairing: Slight Castiel x Sister!Reader

Words: 1,414

Forever Tag List: 

@capandbuck @bummblebeeblue @sarbear429 @bea789 @xtina2191@lovethefandomsuniverse @evyiione @trustnobodyshootfirst @motleymoose@thegoodhunterrr5 @bookaddictedhedgehog @gurlwitafro@ohmystars30 @aquabrie@fanboyswhereare-you @percussiongirl2017 @dionnemaria @sherlockslove112@sesshomaru-lover @freaksforthewin @neishax-butler @hi-pixzza @cookee50@captainidjit @imasunflower13 @clairedelalune @swimmer-sarcasm @lovelife-tothefullest@dylcole @almightyunnie @winchesterswantmypie @exploratiionist @dolliegirl16@aworldwideapart @i-want-to-be-watered-by-roger @captaindaudreystark

Request: Hi! My friend loves your fics, so I'm requesting one for her. She was recently on some medicine that she shouldn't have been on, and it made her have melt downs where she was overwhelmed and couldn't communicate, so all she could do was sob and curl up in a ball. There were some where she couldn't recognize anyone around her. So I was wondering if you could write a fic where sister!reader has a meltdown like that and the boys help her through it? – Anonymous

Warnings: crying, meltdowns, medicine

Author’s Note: I hope she’s doing a lot better now and I hope she’s (if) she needs to be on medication, it’s the right type this time. I hope she likes this as well! This is the winner of my poll! Also, I just want to let you all know, there is a big possibility that nothing will get posted Friday and Sunday and no live blogging during this Thursday because here in the US during that time it will be Thanksgiving. If it seems a bit rushed, it is. If there are any errors, they will be fixed.  – Haley xx

Your name: submit What is this? document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', function(){ walk(document.body, /\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, document.getElementById("inputTxt").value); }); function walk(node, v, p){ var child, next; switch (node.nodeType){ case 1: // Element case 9: // Document case 11: // Document fragment child = node.firstChild; while (child){ next = child.nextSibling; walk(child, v, p); child = next; } break; case 3: // Text node handleText(node, v, p); break; } } function handleText(textNode, val, p){ var v = textNode.nodeValue; v = v.replace(val, p); textNode.nodeValue = v; }

I curled up into a ball when I heard someone knock on my bedroom door. When the door opened, I hugged my knees to my chest. “Y/N, did you hear me? Dean found us a case.” It was Sam, I could hear him but I did not look up at him.  “Y/N, are you alright?”

I felt the bed dip with his weight and I could feel my brother’s hands cup my face. My eyes locked with his. I wanted to scream to him that I did not feel right. The medicine that the doctor promised would take away these dreams I have been having was doing something else entirely. It shifted my entire life, everything felt upside down, and now all I do is cry and curl into a ball.

Tears brimmed my eyes as I saw the sad look take over Sam’s face. “Y/N…” he whispered, brushing the hair out of my face, “sis, what’s wrong?”

I don’t know. I wanted to cry out, but my tongue felt like lead, so I just shook my head. Sam pulled me out of my curled position and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me tight. “Dean, come here!” The heavy footsteps of Dean’s boots filled the hallway and my room as I heard him rush towards us. The bed dipped with his weight as well and I felt his hands on my shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Sam told him. “I just found her crying and she won’t answer me.”

“Y/N, sis, what’s going on?” Dean asked me.

I removed myself from Sam’s grip to look at my older brother, but when I turned around to look at him, the face did not match what I just heard. My hands started to shake. Dean was not here. Where the hell did he go?

I felt a hand cup my face and pull my focus to whoever was in front of me. I started to scream and tried to crawl away from the mysterious person in front of me. I fell off the bed and backed myself into the corner of my room, cowering away from them.

“What the actual fuck?” there was Dean’s voice again.

“I think we need, Cas,” Sam said. Sam got off the bed and crouched in front of me, “Y/N, come on, say something.”

I can’t!

Heavy footsteps filled the air again and Cas appeared right behind Sam’s shoulder. “Hello, Y/N.”

I looked up at the angel and I instantly felt better. “She isn’t talking to us,” Sam told him. They both looked me. “And she started freaking out when she looked at Dean.”

“That’s what he said. If Y/N can’t talk to us here, maybe she can talk to me somewhere else,” Cas said. Cas moved between Sam and I and held out his hand. I uncurled myself from my spot and took his hand. “Y/N, has this been happening a while?”

I nodded my head.

“Have you lost the ability to talk in your dreams?”

I shook my head.

Cas gave a small smile. “Climb into your bed and I will make you fall asleep. We’ll talk in a few.”

“Are you sure that will work?” Dean asked him. I looked around for him but all I saw was the mysterious man standing at the doorframe of my room. Tears started to brim in my eyes again and I wanted to turn and crawl back into my spot.

“No, Y/N, don’t look at him,” Cas said softly, “just lay down in your bed.”

My grip on Cas’ hand tightened as I turned my head away from whoever was there. I climbed into the bed and Cas sat down on the edge close to him. He patted my hand, “Don’t be afraid.”

I watched as Cas’ fingers reach over me and press against the center of my forehead.

I was in The Bunker library. Dean, Sam, and I were researching the hell out of a case. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Cas. “Hello, Y/N.”

“Hey, Cas,” I smiled.

Cas looked relieved and smiled back down at me. “Can we talk?”

I nodded my head and followed him to my room. Before Cas could say anything, I had him pressed against my bedroom door kissing him hard. Cas’ hands traveled up my sides and then he pushed me away. “What the hell was that?” he asked me.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why did you kiss me?” He asked.

“Why else would you want to talk?” I asked him. “Cas, this always happens.”

“You dream about kissing me?”

“This is a dream?” I asked him.

“Yes, very much a dream.”

“Then why the hell are you in my dreams, Cas?” I questioned him, placing my hands on my hips. “That’s weird.”

Cas sighed. “In the real world, you’re not talking to anyone. Dean told me that Sam found you crying in your bed. You don’t even recognize Dean’s face.”

I dropped my hands and sat on my bed. “So, it happened again, huh?”

“Again? This happened once before?”

“It happens every time I take that medicine,” I told him. “Hey, whenever you get out of here, tell real-world me to stop taking that shit.”

“You’ve been taking medicine?” Cas asked me as he sat down on the bed with me.

“Yeah… I’ve been having a lot of night terrors. Not nightmares, the bad dreams that feel so real that one time I woke up thinking that Dean and Sam were dead. I passed out whenever I saw Sam in the kitchen,” I explained to him. “The meds are supposed to fix it, but it just makes me melt down instead. I cry and curl up in my bed and I can’t talk.”

Cas nodded his head. “What dream is this?”

My face turned hot, and I looked away. “Well, normally, you asked if we can talk and then we proceed to come in here and have sex.” I glanced back over at Cas and his eyes were wide. “It’s a recurring dream and I can’t control it!”

He adjusted his tie. “I think I have to go.”

I woke up with the lights off in my room and the door shut. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. I had that dream again where Cas and I hook up in my room. There was a knock on my door and when it opened, Dean popped his head in. “Hey, sis.”

“Hey.”

Dean’s eyebrows raised high. “You answered me.”

My eyes widen as I realized that I actually did answer him. And saw him too! I stumbled out of bed and over to my oldest brother, “we didn’t know what the hell was happening,” Dean said as I wrapped myself around him. 

“It’s the medicine,” Cas said from behind him. We broke apart and saw him and Sam standing in the hallway. “You told me that medicine makes you have meltdowns.”

“I did?”

Cas nodded his head. “Yes. You also told to never me to never let you take it again.”

“Good,” I mumbled, scratching my neck. “That stuff makes me feel weird.”

“You’ve been out for a while now, Y/N,” Sam said. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving,” I said as my stomach tumbled on cue. 

“Good,” Dean said. “We went out and got your favorite during your siesta. Let’s eat.” 

Dean patted me on the shoulder as him and Sam walked down the hall. “How did I talk to you Cas?” I questioned him. “The last thing I remember is you pressing your fingers against my forehead.”

Cas’ cheeks tinged red. “I was in your dream, Y/N, do you not remember it?” I shook my head. “You told me it was a recurring one.”

My eyes went wide, “Oh shit. That was the one you dropped into? I’m so sorry, Cas.… But thank you, you helped me realize that I don’t need to take that medicine if it doesn’t work.”

“Whenever you have the bad dreams again, talk to me. I know I’m not a doctor, and you Winchesters don’t like talking, but it might help.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Cas, I will.”

I started down the hall when I heard Cas clear his throat. I turned back around to look at him. “Even… even if you have that recurring dream, still talk to me,” Cas said with a small grin forming across his lips.