#can’t get over this weird feeling
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
The Tumblr app for Google Glass was released on May 16, 2013.
Text
i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?
#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their#companions so interesting so important.#like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings#to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period.#its also just. from my viewing experience. not true?#the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy.#but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That.#like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or#won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts.#but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that.#like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s#not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a#terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes.#thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they#are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her.#like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends.#i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first#people to answer. that’s what i know.#doctor who#the doctor#tenth doctor#martha jones
199 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stabby stabby time 😌✨
(Original meme audio source can be found via this YouTube video!!)
#once again I’m so bad at putting silly short meme stuff onto my main channel without thinking it’s gonna humiliate me HELP 🥲#l’ll get over it this is my exposure therapy hour#it doesn’t help that I told classmates in college about my YouTube channel and didn’t think about how that would fuck with my anxiety lol#like ‘OH NO WHY DID I DO THAT THEY’LL KNOW I’M CRINGE AND WEIRD NOW’#listen if people can’t tolerate you at your cringiest and you feel like you need to mask around them 24/7 then it’s not worth#you gotta be your authentic self and enjoy your interests regardless of how people view it#trying to people please the masses is only going to wear you out and make you feel disconnected from yourself#‘fuck it we ball’ mentality saves lives tbh#….I don’t know I’m still trying to pep talk myself into it being socially acceptable to post sillies :’)#for now this will be a Tumblr exclusive until I stop being a baby about it✨#(also wouldn’t it be funny if my channel has a running joke of everyone not knowing what Puzzles age is? Just a thought)#(first Meggy asks him about it and now I’m asking too)#(no wonder the guy pulled out a knife people won’t shut up about his age lmfao)#mr puzzles smg4 meme#mr puzzles animated#smg4 girl how old are you I’m getting nervous meme#girl how old are you I’m getting nervous mr puzzles meme#hplonesome art
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
breaking out of selective mutism is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do tbh and anytime someone makes me feel bad for not speaking i want to kick them in the shin
#cw vent#not rlly tho bc id never have the guts so i cast a menacing glare#i didn’t speak for over 2 years and i know that drastically fucked up my social skills#but i often slip back into it and when someone loudly points it out makes me wanna scream#but ofc i don’t bc my voice has vanished and im suddenly the weird little girl again#i’ve made so much progress over the years but i still struggle with it a lot and go through stretches where i just … can’t speak#tbd i’m just so annoyed that i have to be this way#it’s the most frustrating thing in the world actually#i’ll get over it again + move on but i’m just thankful for this little space bc i feel like i CAN use my voice here (most times)#i love when ppl on here think of me as bubbly and everything bc that’s the True me if i feel safe enough to express it#and i wish i could express it more irl beyond my family + close friends#one day :’) !!!!!!
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
romancing neve is kind of like you’re dating batman
#veilguard spoilers#neve I can’t get enough of you#open your heart it’s okay let yourself be loved#like there are some weird voice acting choices shure but I feel that’s happening w a lot of characters in this game#but hnngggggg I am chewing the bars of my enclosure#over lascaux/neve#spooky plays dragon age#dragon age#dragon age veilguard spoilers#neve gallus#I didn’t like the hats at first but I am so into this lady that I actually think her hats fuck severely now#she’s the secret protector of a city’s dark seedy underbelly like cmon#she’s batman
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I’m only very rarely inclined to get this intimate w my thoughts so I might as well say it NOW butttt I will never not see the dead children#In everything I do#Like legit#I’ve read up on Hind so extensively and seen so many photos of her#And I have a very healthy relationship w the popular Palestinian journalists so she’s not my blorbo or anything#But hearing that memo destroyed me bc bisan is only 23 and she seemed so vivacious#Idk like I do normal people things I can’t just pause on my life#But idk how it feels like to sit at a boba place and enjoy my pearl milk tea w my friends#While the horrors over there don’t just lurk the back of my mind. I do normal things and I’m guilty for having the luxury#And as an Iraqi girl I’m living in the literal ideal timeline#Where my mom decided to immigrate to the us and that’s why I’m here living a normal life like everyone else#It’s like in a different world if I were born in a different time it could’ve so easily been me. I’m one of the Lucky Ones idk#It’s not survivor’s guilt bc it’s not like I had to survive anything like I never had the chance to live in Iraq or anything#But like. If some things had fallen just a little differently#And I keep thinking about how I’d feel if it were happening to Iraq and people behaved the way they’re doing to Palestinians#I’d be so mad#And some people on here are dealing w assholes while bursting at the seams w grief#For losing their loved ones#This is why I’m so fucking angry at anyone who’s complicit#This was a major tangent but basically I feel weird about doing normal things now while simultaneously knowing I can’t just sit and wallow#And watch life pass by as if it’ll do anything#Misery is not a home but I’m struggling to be 100% normal#And I think that this tonal dissonance is reflecting on my blog too bc I can’t go back to just#Posting about all the other normal things I used to. Like I want to but sometimes I feel off.#Is this anything. I haven’t slept all night#I can’t just allow myself to lose interest in everything I used to like and be and just fade away but maybe it’s about accepting that this#Will also always be a part of me now. It’s that awareness that shadows everything I do#or maybe I need a therapist it’s a toss up#I’ll probably feel better once I get my day started but this was cathartic to voice I think#p
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭
Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3
#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho#if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate#which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons#which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside#because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits#if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon#(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for#1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom#2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her#3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting#where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs#they get IMPACT FRAMES#the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them#I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time#let’s go straight to Bloom#if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination#she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her#Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that#it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons#literally PERFECT foils#which always makes for the juiciest stories#4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode#5) she can literally feel his presence#6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix#of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship#all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
The pain, the despair, the unmitigated agony of seeing one of your fave fanfic writers move onto another fandom, seemingly never to return.
#stinks to see how many rrr fans have dipped out#on the one hand: I totally get it cuz it’s a single movie and maintaining unlimited enthusiasm for it indefinitely#is an unreasonable expectation#BUT ON THE OTHER HAND!#I’m autistic and actually can maintain unlimited enthusiasm for something pretty much for life lmfao so I can’t relate#I also just feel sad to see how fandom culture moves so much quicker now#cuz there’s a constant never-ending deluge of ‘content’ assailing us from all sides#at all times#so it’s very easy to just burn through something and move onto the next thing#like fast food#not to get snooty about it but it does just feel like another symptom of the ever-increasing SPEED of consumption culture#and the shortening of attention spans that coincide with that#idk at the end of the day I’m just weird for forming lifelong attachments to films & shows#that I rewatch over and over again forever instead of getting into new stuff#so I secretly wish everyone in my fave fandoms could be like me and we could exist in a non-commercial state of suspended time forever#I can dream
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.
#I understand the minor part but proship? Really? Fucking really??#That is a goddamn comship right here whether you fucks like it or not#And I know for sure antis HATE Btd due to the intense nature of the game#But in the end it’s just some stupid computer program with pictographs of men that will never exist in real life#(Strade is an exception not counting a Ren in there)#None of these characters are fucking real none of these stories are real life is a fuck shit#These are all just silly stories made to entertain our morbid hearts from this god forsaken world#And I truly pity anyone who tries to mimic what they see on the screen#Sorry for this weird rant just been feeling eh#antis dni#antis are stupid#antis do not interact#proship safe#antis fuck off#discohorse 💢#i hate antis#proshippers please interact#antis suck#darkfic#profiction#fuck antishippers#antis are hypocrites#antis are a cult#comship safe#comshippers please interact#Btw I don’t have Twitter so I can’t do much but look at a few posts they have#And they made shit for Ren too#And other games like John/Doe and Sunny/Day/Jack AND DACHABO#FCKING DACHABO WHERE A DIGITAL DOG BOY THIRSTS OVER YOU AND ITS MEGA SUS#I genuinely don’t get antis who consume sus media
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
getting people into something you were super obsessed with once but now you only like it casually is so weird bc yey but also pls don’t talk to me about it unless you are already on the same freak level about it as me
#this is about the magnus archives#I still love the podcast soooo much#but I’ve not been really into it for a while now#and I like it in a freakish way#and those people just started#and idk it’s so weird bc they expect me to be so hype about it#but I’m not#idk like I’m happy they like it#but also I can’t have freakish hyper specific fandom talk with them#and so I’m uninterested bc my interest has shifted#idk am I’m making sense???????#it would be different if someone told me they were into wbg or cellar letters then I’d get so hyped bc that’s like MY THING rn#also I always feel so weird when irl people tell me that they started to listen/watch something bc they saw me enjoy it#I feel so exposed 😭😭#it’s different when I’m recommending it but yeah#idk I’m probably thinking myself to death rn with all of this#over nothing to if I might add#the magnus archives#personal
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
2024 reads / storygraph
At The Feet Of The Sun
book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*
the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,
after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship
(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)
#At The Feet Of The Sun#lays of the heart-fire#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#giggling and kicking my feet. and also crying#bro the yearning….the yearning#I can definitely see why this loses people - it’s so long and very self indulgent#(listen. i enjoy it a lot . but does it need to be THAT long (i just checked. 375k? lord))#but it is easy to read and also very funny. it felt less repetitive than the first book to me#I did find it hard to keep track of some of the side characters though#The first world-travelling stuff caught me off guard initially - I feel like all the weird magic was more background in book 1?#or maybe I just didn't pay attention.#taking a step back it is a bit like - kip sure does achieve everything and then some and just continues to achieve everything huh#and it gets to a point where it's like.....okay yes I get he's so talented at this etc etc.#but I guess it’s a nice change of pace from the kingly swordfighting fantasy protagonist who’s perfect and wins everything -#someone whose skill is people and negotiation in a humble way is a bit more interesting. still. it maybe felt less grounded after a while?#the deep exploration of platonic yearning and desire for strong friendship and fear over that person just wanting romance/sex#when that’s Not what you want out of the relationship………#not to mention his complex feelings over meeting two people who were like his platonic soulmate rolemodels#and then finding out they just used that term because gay relationships weren’t accepted and trying to not be disappointed#(because gay is also good!) but also like. so lonely in feeling like nobody understands his desire for a platonic soulmate#to be treated equally as romantic relationships are. oof#I am a little baffled to see people interpret it as a romantic asexual relationship?#I feel like that does such a disservice to the . everything that has been set up in what 600k words of books#like the implication of that is that you think other romantic rships w/o sex are unheard of in this world. I find that hard to believe idk#(I mean - a bit romantic on fitzroy’s end; and in the nebulous queerplatonic area between friendship and romance; sure#but like a straight up romantic relationship just without sex - I don’t understand how it could be interpreted that way lol?)#(anyway other people’s interpretations don’t matter)#I do have questions about the telepathic dinosaur soulmates. you can’t just mention that and now show me them#also. kip being like 'wait there were sirens? i wonder if i can hire them' kshfkjsgkf#asexual books
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#the weirdest thing about being on zoloft is i can barely cry anymore#like i get teary eyed but i don’t actually cry#at most i’ll get like on tear even if i’m really upset#*one tear#it’s just wild because i used to cry so easily over everything#esp stuff that was like. touching?#and any time i got overwhelmed by how much i love stuff#even like orchestral music would make me cry a lot lmfao#idk dude it’s a weird experience for me now just. not having that happen#kinda miss the emotional release sometimes#personal#to be deleted#but rarely experiencing anxiety is soooooooo so nice like#i can’t believe people live like this without medication like damn#also very nice not feeling depressed
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was thinking about besides devo getting a anime the most controversial getter anime they could make is a remake of Armageddon cause despite the fact it could absolutely fix the issues the show has it be one of those things that wouldn’t be necessary and people would be sick of more arma content.
But then I thought about “okay but then they could make Kei actually trans if they had the fucking balls” and I know this would NEVER happen but that would make people seethe more then arms being remade and I found that so funny. (And yes this is very much related to my last post)
#meg text#getter robo#fyi I’m not saying a arma remake needs to happen it definitely doesn’t but this is something that’s crossed my mind#I like how the whole fandom or at least people I talk to agree Kei is trans even if it’s entirely metaphorical#she can’t be trans in universe but certain aspects of her character are LITERALLY trans#go arguably too but it gets a little more murky with him#i actually wanna do a analysis about this but i don’t know how to word it more then my essays about ryoma#also Kei’s gender is that odd thing where it’s not explored enough to make a concrete analysis even if there’s things to pick at#I wish it was more explored but it was the 90s-even if stuff was trying back then-and arma had a lot to juggle#also it could definitely be one of those things where it wasn’t intended but like- people are allowed to still read off of a character lmao#i literally learned that in my writing class the authors intent is valid but so is any interpretation that is against it#tho also saying this makes me kinda glad getter isn’t popular again bc i feel there be discourse over this#not only by bigots but I think some people wouldn’t like this portrayal but like- it’s also not develop enough to be offensive#like it’s weird genki was forced to be a boy but no one really judges Kei for that#and only two people use her original name and one is Saotome who’s a dick to begin with lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can’t believe my mother laughs at me whenever I play the lyre, if she’s not careful apollo will strike her down
#help how do I make her take me seriously#I get it I bought a weird instrument but she knows I’m a weird person get over it#I’m not even bad at it or anything I want to expand my artistic prowess#my dad called it a headless guitar#I might pull a chryses and start praying for revenge#nah lol I don’t wish harm upon them I just wish they’d think it’s cool like I do#they don’t even have to think it’s cool just don’t fucking laugh at me#idk I take pride in being wierd and liking wierd things but I can’t help but feel hurt when I’m mocked like that#but I’ll never let them dull my shine!!!!#I’ll play that fucking instrument until the end of the world and they can’t stop me#how did this turn into a vent post lol#my parents aren’t my opps but sometimes I feel they aren’t exactly with me on certain things lol
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Not sure how I feel about “enby people are included in sapphic romance books because ‘sapphic’ just means no men”
Like, I appreciate the inclusion, but I personally feel sapphic romance should be for wlw. Otherwise it feels like it peculates stereotypes that enby people are just non-gender conforming women and enby assigned male at birth don’t exist.
We’re not under this “not male” umbrella. We have our own separate umbrella that sometimes overlaps with yours but it’s still ours.
#tbd#I know it depends on the context#if you’re genderfluid or choose to present as feminine#because there is no one way to be enby#but I feel weird when I’m reading a sapphic romance and the narrative might as well be screaming from the void#the love interest has a vagina. that nonbinary person in this sapphic romance is still on team pink#maybe I’m over thinking it#maybe sapphics have adopted nonbinary characters#because achillean romance aren’t pulling they’re weight?#I can’t think of a single gay book with the main male lead getting together with an enby love interest#please give me recommendations if I’m wrong
4 notes
·
View notes