#esp stuff that was like. touching?
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#the weirdest thing about being on zoloft is i can barely cry anymore#like i get teary eyed but i don’t actually cry#at most i’ll get like on tear even if i’m really upset#*one tear#it’s just wild because i used to cry so easily over everything#esp stuff that was like. touching?#and any time i got overwhelmed by how much i love stuff#even like orchestral music would make me cry a lot lmfao#idk dude it’s a weird experience for me now just. not having that happen#kinda miss the emotional release sometimes#personal#to be deleted#but rarely experiencing anxiety is soooooooo so nice like#i can’t believe people live like this without medication like damn#also very nice not feeling depressed
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you are umasou
#I watched it today it was so good#im not big on dinosaur stuff but i like how it was used to approach the predator/prey conversation especially when both sides are sentient#instead of just defaulting to well since predators are meat eaters their actions are automatically immoral so their role in the story#has to match. and then when your characters /are/ meat eaters you just step around that whole topic#heart knows he has to kill and eat so there’s no avoiding it but even he knows he has agency over that#hell he even decided to hunt by himself so umasou doesn’t have to see him kill and eat another dinosaur a day after meeting him#and maybe its because it’s a kids movie but it also doesn’t make a big show over the act of hunting and eating. it doesn’t dwell on it#like yes you can clearly see them ripping into guts minus the graphic details but it doesnt go out of its way to censor it either#its played straight just like hearts mom having more kids like nobody asks who the father is or when that happened cuz it doesn’t matter#what matters is she still loves heart and encourages her kids to greet their big brother and they do!!! it’s sweet#Beckon was also an interesting touch bc they make it clear the only reason he doesnt eat umasou is bc he cant and not that he wouldn’t#but he’s still a funny and interesting character and that doesn’t get in the way of how we see him too much#same for baku he was pretty polite with heart esp from the start when he asks him if hes abandoned implying he would be prepared to#look out for him from the start. and at the end when he decides to spare him. I dont hate him at all hes just intimidating#you are umasou#doodles#I wanted to draw smth more detailed but I couldn’t decide if I wanted to go with the cartoony art style#or smth closer to realistic?? so this is like. some sort of compromise I guess
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my cds (and cassette tape) finally arrived in the mail today!!
#I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS#was getting 10 cds and a cassette tape at once maybe a bit overkill? possibly#but i saw the bogo free sale banner and my brain lept at the chance to get more cds for half the price lol#i feel like my collection might be growing a bit too fast esp considering i only started collecting them this fall#but also I HAVE A WHOLE PILE OF CDS NOW LOOK AT IT THERE'S SO MANY AND THEY'RE MY FAVORITE ALBUMS TOO#it's like seeing blorbo from your music in real life in your home#just looking at a cd and being like !!! i literally listen to you every day i didn't know you were also Real#the difference between having something only on your phone even if you still see/listen to it a lot and having a Physical Thing is massive#just. i haven't even opened these up yet they look so pretty im just staring at them in awe while typing this rn#ykw 10 cds is a lot to unbox all at once and if they have extra stuff on the inside too i don't think I'd be able to fully appreciate it#i think im gonna save some of the unwrapping for later as a lil treat maybe for when im having a bad day#so i can come home and unwrap it and look inside and get that serotonin boost#just a lil something i can look forward to in the future :3#they said money can't buy happiness but it turns out i just did and my happiness comes in the form of physical media lol#and ykw i think this is a pretty sweet deal like if i had to choose any hobby to spend money on this would be a great choice#it's cheap you get to support your favorite musicians and you get infinite dopamine out of it (well as long as the cd lasts ig)#just. im still looking at them i cant believe the pictures and sounds from my phone are Real and i can touch them now#...it's probably gonna take a while for me to get over the awe and actually open them up and start looking inside for goodies and stuff#ive been meaning to take pictures of the cool stuff from the precious cds that i got but i still haven't gotten around to it lol#just. the emotions are too big. even just looking at it brings me so much joy that if i opened it up to find more stuff inside#it'd be too much for my brain to handle and it would just explode or something lol#anyway i think that wall of text is long enough so im gonna go admire my cds some more now#mine#cd#cds#cassette tape#music#reminder#for later#<- and that is so i actually remember to open them up and look inside instead of just admiring it like a painting
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Aw....
#its nice to see how pleased he and seungmin were with the song and peoples reactions#its sweet! and easy to forget they are just guys who can still get nervous and anticipate if people will like their stuff#esp with songs like this that do touch on more difficult feelings#seems like seungmin seeking him out during a hard time to make this must have touched his heart a bit i think#bc han is not super talkative on bbl but he has been the past few days#again... very sweet
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i absolutely love it when people leave tags on my art, it's so cute seeing people be happy about how i drew their blorbo and the genuine enthusiasm over something that i made
#0u.txt#this year has been a big art year for me !!#im gonna leave this in the tags cos i dont wanna make a whole thing about it but#i had felt really discouraged to draw for the last several years and esp during my previous relationship#i was worried that i would never get to a point where i would be satisfied with my art or that people would like it#and while now i draw entirely for myself rather than other people im still incredibly touched by the way ppl interact with it on here#thank u for lookin at my stuff with ur eyeballs !!! i go away now
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im curious about something bg3 fandom
also if you want to put your favorite in the tags!
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#i’m simply so curious.#i’ve played (and finished) shadowheart karlach and durge#and i’ve started and made decent progress in a wyll and lae’zel run#actually a huge fan of the karlach origin run!!!!#1) super fun dialogue options in act i bc you cant touch people#2) SO many fun voicelines she talks to herself a lot#3) more freedom for character internal monologues? some of the options for different reactions esp including gort stuff were really cool#4) JAHEIRA AND KARLACH INTERACTIONS MY BELOVED#saiph speaks#and YES i put durge in here i know theyre not a companion but theyre still an origin character#and i feel like durge is the most popular origin character to play. bc fully customizable. ergo durge in the poll
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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i can never complain abt people spending lots of money on fashion bc if i had the chance to buy something from orttu i would take it in a second. but also if they're regular sweatpants $400 is stupid
#also obv the bigger issue w that post is the people out of touch w how expensive things r not that they're spending the money in general#tho i will say. orttu is clearly designer but if their quality is good i would believe their prices r semi-close to the cost of production#like obv they r inflated bc that's how selling things works esp w designer brands but they're not So overpriced that it's fucked up#i just. could never afford something from them until i am settled w an income for some years#also i need top surgery to rock half their stuff :( but someday soon#ted talks
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so sorry to everyone who has ever befriended me or tried to befriend me bc i legit have no idea what i'm doing 😭
#how do you friend#i have never been good at it#what is too much#what is not enough#HOW DO YOU TALK TO PEOPLE??#how do you maintain conversations#how do you get to know people#do you just jump in and tell them everything#or do you hold stuff back#i have a tendency to hold back bc i feel like i'm too much#but maybe i'm not enough#maybe i don't DO enough#like#i know i could keep in touch with people better but like#i never know what to say#like what do you say#those 'hey how's it going?'s only take you so far#esp if nothing is going on which it rarely is with me lmao#maybe i just don't know how to connect with people#idk what i'm DOING#ugggggggggh#why is this so hard#why do i MAKE it hard#i wish i could be more open#but idek where to start with fixing that#maybe if i wasn't so introverted. so shy. so insecure.#maybe if i really believed people cared enough to get to know me#ugh fuck#idk what i'm having an existential crisis in the tags lmao#ignore me
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like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk
#i dont even want like. Ooh major graphical updates whatever if sims 5 was announced and they looked photorealizstic id hurl i wouldnt play#it#my ideal would ig be sims 4 with a touch more realism style wise. if this makes sense#like its a bittt too cartoony for me but i like the like. Clay hair or whatever SJFNFJ. and i think having it be simple in basegame means#you can customize it easier + itd run better on more pcs#so im fine eith that. i would nottt want it more cartoony#i also like. I understand the sims is like. an all ages game i do sometimes wish that the animations in 4 were a bit toned down#like i dont mind silly goofy wacky stuff i think its fun and like. The sims has always been a bit sillay yk. but the overexaggerated#animations r sometimes like -_-.... to me. but thats personal preference#IDK. the tags that show up when i type idk r so funny. do i ever know anything. sources say no#BUT ya i just rly wish like. if this is what they wanna do i wish theyd give us One more full game give it lots of time and love and rly rly#focus on having it excel at like. being this partnof the sims#since they wanna have like. Other sims games that have online features and multiplayer and everything. they could use that to make sure that#ts5 was Rly solid as a foundation and as like. ykwim..... they could plan updates for the future And dlc or whatever and i just think itd be#a better move than trying to make sims 4 happen#bc i judt dont think With all the updates in the world. sims 4 wont ever be like. what it couldve been. yk. i just dont think you can make#it work without Fullllyyyy just starting over.#and at this point with like..so many modders and stuff and everything and how much dlc there is thatd be impossible Esp if they keep#releasing new stuff which. They will ^_^#idk. im excited for some other lifesim games im keeping my eye out#but i rly do love the sims and i just wish that it could be as good as it could be. It has such a huge budget and team and like. if ea would#stop just trying to make as much money as possible off it i feel like they could make Such an amazing game. not to put down indie gamedevs#at all the games jve been looking at look Incredible like.. yk. but the fact those games are so good eith FAR smaller teams and budgets is#like. imagine what we could have if the sims had that amt of care and time put into it.#but whatever whatever whatever. sorry im just rambling#again ik what i would want from my platonic ideal of a sims game isnt what everyone would eant#but idk. i feel like another good step might be like. making the other sims games more available and updating them so they run better on#modern pcs. but i dont think thatll ever happen DNDNFJFNFN.
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the retconned timeline is so messed up. what do you mean everyone broke off into pairs and didn't talk to each other for three years
#libra.txt#for one thing it's unrealistic! idc how good of friends you are you NEED to spend time with other people!!!!!#for another it's just sad :(#dave and kanaya have SO much potential. but no!#dave and rose! have been friends for years and are also siblings!! but no!!!#karkat and rose!!!!!!!!!!!!!! karkat and kanaya!!!!!!!!! karkat and terezi!!!!!!!!!! but noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think this is also part of why i dislike davekat. like. sighhhhhh#and terezi's missing out on friendship with the mayor!#like i'm glad for pale vrisrezi good for them or whatever. but.#this should've been three years for all of them to get closer#instead of just. well here we are and we didn't spend a single minute discussing battle plans until two hours before the fight!#probably part of why i like mc escher so much. they actually interacted with other people!!!!!!#like. i know i still have a few hundred pages to go before i finish rereading hs (and no i will NOT touch the epilogues / beyond canon w/e)#but. idk. it's just. there's so much wrong. i hate retconning stuff. even though it is very interesting in hs! it is!#and john and roxy are soooo special to me. esp as the only two (besides the denizens but they don't count!!!) to remember#ALSO jake. jake my dear boy. what happened to you.#[head in hands] they're all just kids
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#UAUHGG im havung oc thoughts. plaguing myBRAIN. i can feel my heartrate spiking holy shit#ok so. i rly wanna touch up presto and shuffles story without scaring myself out of it by overthinking it. esp the implications of#them having animal features and what they would eat. as well as worldbuilding character dynamics setting background characters ugghh.#constantly have to tell myself its just for fun. basically theyre rival magicians who keep their identities secret and fuck it up in#the funniest way possible LMAO. they rent the same apartment and the landlady accidentally gives it to both of them without them knowing#so they end up walking in on each other out of costume and have this weird tension around not revealing each others identities despite thei#borderline malicious rivalry. blackmail may or may not be involved i havent decided yet#they DO consider backing out of tenancy but they decide not to so they can make sure they dont reveal each others identities#thats the idea but its really abstract bc i dont have a direction or writing in mind. they just rattle in my head like spare change#other stuff i have rn is. they both consider each other a copycat and they have the same skill level of magic#but they have different styles and techniques theyre just too focused on outperforming each other to notice#presto likes to make people laugh so they probably include gags and impossible feats. shuffle is more elegant and focuses on#smooth movements and dangerous stunts. i want to make that reflect in their costumes but its hard bc stage magician costumes tend to stick#to suits and capes.. so idk. then maybe side characters like the landlady and other tenants but i havent given em much thought orz#i really should practice with concepts because i have a bad habit of making everything similar to the first try so its frustrating#and i suck at writing characters. but im doing this for fun so im trying not to get hung up on whether its generic or not#yapping#stares at the floor. maybe i should make a carrd for my ocs#oc talk#presto#shuffle
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the new/final chapter was so good! i was so worried that despite everything jamie would still get transferred back; i didnt know if rebecca knew the full extent of what happened. also so i read it first thing bc i was so excited, and bc i hadn't had coffee, i read "That’s the number for Doctor Fieldstone. She’s a highly recommended psychologist, and she specialises in treating athletes." as "she specialises in treating assholes," and I was like "damn, Higgins, but also fair."
Thank you!!! I kind of steered clear of the Rebecca of it all but my thought was Rebecca pulled the trigger on cancelling the loan after the bonfire. In this universe, the bonfire doesn’t happen until after Jamie is injured. So now there are three options:
1. Man City wouldn’t take back an injured player.
2. Jamie couldn’t play so he couldn’t score goals so he couldn’t help Richmond win anyway so he was no longer an obstacle to Rebecca’s goal of relegation.
3. Rebecca would have known the full extent of what happened from both Keeley and Ted so she would have felt badly cancelling the loan.
“Treating assholes” hahah Higgins would’ve been savage for that one for sure.
Thank you so much for your kind words and stopping by :)))))) I’m glad you enjoyed it.
#some of you people are so nice to me#i don’t know what to do#but thank you#seriously#stuff like this makes my day#esp since I struggled with this chapter and liking it#thank you :)#ask box is always open#fic: somebody you touch but never hold#jamie tartt#rebecca welton#leslie higgins
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bellum probably wouldnt know how to kiss
#salty talks#uh.#bellum#realizing this now. tbh this applies to post ph too hes gotta figure that out#he knows of the concept but hes never done it before#in post ph i could see damien teaching him (bc hes the more physical between him and linebeck and linebeck isnt necessarily in a good#headspace for like. most of post ph actually) (tbh linebecks mental state during post ph is something ill need to figure out like ive got#that hes generally a bit more unstable and emotional since hes kinda working through stuff and trying to get better but the nitty gritty is#up to debate still)#look im also trying to figure out stuff for damien to do in this post ph polycule thing. i need to give him a niche beyond Chill Guy#best i got is that hes actually the one linebeck can do b/d/s/m with. bellum doesnt get it and they dont trust him enough#not testing this site dont bother me abt how i spell certain things im not fucking with this#shipfic theyre just dicking around its more lighthearted linebeck isnt processing years of trauma#i mean most of that shit is there but his brother stays alive and hes not chucked into some parallel world at some point#so the later stuff is absent. also hes like five years older for the shipfic. whatever#bellum is familiar with a lot of human physical touch stuff he does watch and interact with them#kissing is just like. yknow. a bit more of a complicated sorr of thing esp since hes never really cared
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hi! just wondering when you were going live again?
hey!! i was planning on going live this friday and saturday since i had a long weekend but it turned out to be a total disaster with my power going out which made my computer start acting funny (it's fine now!) and dealing w/ bad cramps so ;-; im very sad abt that!
my goal is to go live next week and if i don't i'll make sure to let you guys know!
#haven't touched my computer until rn since i feel a bit better i was working on recoloring tuds chef stations so i can start building-#the n*ma resturant tht i want romeo to “work” at but im gonna pretend its a culinary school it's so gorgeous i had a ton of reference pics#but alas all my work in s4s is gone bc of power but! its ok#im just gonna keep rambling ok so im tempted to unlist all my yt vids on my channel and rebrand so i can start fresh#i really want to get into making a proper lets play and getting more comfy editing long-form stuff bc i understand not everyone wants to-#watch a 4hr long livestream and most of it can but cut down esp all the loading screens and set-up stuff#i like streaming the mancusos bc its less pressure to have it be perfect but im thinking of doing a lets play w/ the landgraabs and john(ny#i actually already recorded two episodes kind of one is like a test recording but i may just combine the two yk#ok ithink im done rambling im getting bored now i dont have any gp posts bc i havent been playing so ill see you all next week <3
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post canon hag romance are travelling adventurers but I also like the idea that astarion keeps correspondence with his siblings and he’s very updated on what’s happening to the underdark vampires. astarion and shri’iia are on their own little quest to find a cure for the vampirism — or at the very least, find something that can either help to sate the hunger or help him walk under the sun (but a cure would be best). they do their heroic deeds and collect the favours, and when it’s time to cash in they’re always asking looking for something that can help alleviate some of the vampirism symptoms. and if they find something, and it works for astarion, they go off and send it to the underdark coven. I also like the idea of astarion visiting them too from time to time, except shri’iia doesn’t risk going down in the underdark anymore or else she might face lolth’s punishment, so she will send him instructions and advice on navigating through the underdark, what to look out for and what to avoid, then she’ll wait patiently for him to return up the surface again.
in his part knowing how homesick she sometimes get, he’ll bring her something from the underdark (like food or fungi or whatever funky thing he finds) and gifts it to her the moment he returns. I like the idea that he tends to look out for any underdark/drow items in the surface too, bc shri’iia is still very attached to her home even though she’s forced to leave it behind, and he buys her any items he finds (and bonus points if it’s jewellery of some kind) bc she knows she’ll appreciate it. I also like the idea that she teaches him how to speak in drowic too hehe, and a majority of the names she’ll call him are the very few drowic endearment terms with the main one being alurlssrin. anyway I like the idea of shri’iia still keeping in touch with her culture even though she’s divorced from it now, since one of the biggest change she experienced when she was dropped off in the surface was the fact that no one spoke her language until minthara came along, and she’s not fluent in common tongue either.
#really do like the idea of hags doing valiant heroic deeds not bc of the goodness of their own hearts but bc they have their own agenda -#and that’s to help the underdark vamp covens which is still out of the goodnes of their own hearts technically lol#but it’s a selfish kind deed. not exactly charitable. but kind nonetheless. which fits Their Brand#Plenty of thoughts abt astarion helping her keep in touch w her culture esp the elf/drow rivalry ..!!#and my particular hc in the spawn/ascendant that he gets her to stop speaking in her own language / gets her a tutor to help her speak#common more fluently bc she has no need to speak in her language anymore. like the drow/elf rivalry is alive and well in ascendant verse#but not in oathbreaker/spawn 🤭 thoughts of them buying stuff for each other too btw he relies on her when they’re getting clothes bc he#can’t see himself meanwhile she’s like dw babe I’ll make sure u look hot 👍#kind of related but I just remembered astarion is good at making perfumes. and shri’iia is well versed in brewing potions bc#that’s what her mother used to make and sell before (and she would help out)#like…….hag romance crumbs to ME….#bg3 spoilers#technically….😳
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